#bc i made some connections/observations i think might be interesting and important to myself to talk about

[rinbylin]

"#their rs is only as equal as he decides it to be" hits the nail on the HEAD for me THANK you. llh and fdb are friends the way parents and children can be friends. fdb makes a very commendable effort at being equals with llh and llh can allow and enjoy it to an extent but there IS a gap. fdb not having access to llh's past puts him in a unique position to understand llh in a way that nobody else does and that IS good for llh, like fresh eyes on such a worn out painful story. but there's also an element of responsibility that llh has for fdb that he doesn't have for dfs. dfs is his equal and can make his own life choices. he only escaped dfs at the end because of dfs's own choice to trust him with the flower, not anything llh could have done. but he can still escape fdb on his own power just fine. ANYWAY EVERY RELATIONSHIP IN THIS SHOW IS KILLING ME IN UNIQUE AND SPECIFIC WAYS thank u for understanding

(for context)

NO THANK YOU for understanding!!!! I didn't even think anyone was going to read [inserts opinion that I think could get me into a situation surrounded by knives] as you can tell I hid it deep in the tags of reblogs of my own non-maintagged post hbhjbhjbhjbj - and even much less agree with something of it

hell yeah. to me their relationship is entirely premised on that gap between them, for better and for worse. that's how fdb can be unique to him but at the same time also puts him out of fdb's reach forever (that's why ep 30 hits hard). it's very likely llh wouldn't have continued with their relationship - at least with the degree of investment he did - if not for finding out his connection to sgd. so the familial element in it is virtually inseparable from the manner they ended up to be with each other. (like also, on top of how how lxy was literally a formative "adult" figure to bb fdb.)

while fdb thinks this is a friendship the whole time, llh actually treats fdb like a younger family member 小辈, with the front of being friends bc he was a Liar hiding his identity. and then post-identity reveal was bc he's just a Liar who doesn't feel the need to load his own problems on a younger member as an elder. (I do think this mismatched perceptions of their relationship is delicious)

also that's such a good add-on regarding dihua's relationship - particularly about the element of trust between them, which is a basis to why I can consider them friends in some dimension even back when they were more of rivals, unlike fdb with llh. like llh/fdb, they contain a paradox: being the ones who understand each other better than anyone else can but also bc they're so up close on each other that they fail to really see each other too. they're equals premised on the circumstance of them being from the same generation with a shared past (that is also part of their tragedy), but also, in a very curious space of it not being entirely mutual - simply due to llh being the person he is with the kind of conflict he's facing. (once again, all the relationships llh have are embedded with a degree of them being unrequited and it's <333 </333)

THEY REALLY ARE KILLING ME TOO IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE YEAH

[tossertozier]

you mentioned possibly doing a ben or mike writing guide.. would you.. be willing to post a mike one. i'm plotting a fic and im struggling to get my mans down?? also i think abt ur fics weekly bare minimum.

hi there!!! i did my best. i tried to not sound preachy or like a know it all bc y’all know i can barely write. i hope this is helpful in some way!! disclaimer of of course this is all just my opinion & there’s no wrong way to write, you’re the only person who can tell your story!!

[[MORE]]

i think the first really important decision you have to make as Person Writing Mike is his

family & background

-are both of his parents alive?

-if yes, what’s their relationship like?

-if no, who’s his primary caretaker? what’s their relationship like?

-if no, when did they die? did he cope well with it? what’s his relationship with their memory like?

these are really really where you gotta start to write mike imo. or any character! i think one thing stephen king is to be admired for is he doesn’t neglect the parent-child relationship as so many people who write youth do. your parents are the most important people in your life for a long time. i don’t think there’s a wrong or ooc way to answer the above questions tbh. canon has really left a wide open field for you to run amuck in.

(example: i’ve mentioned in the past that my & tfat mike being a small adult is no mistake and intentional. it’s a bit of a throwaway scene, but i mention in on pointe that mike’s parents are coming. it’s intentionally done there too. mike is goofier, more outgoing, more immature in general in that fic in the small bits he’s in & that’s all a response to his familial life. )

culture + friendships

after you answer those questions, important follow up questions are:

-are the losers his first set of friends?

-how much social exposure has he had?

-has he dated? who is he attracted to?

-who influences him? (celebrities, family, culturally)

-what are his cultural interests? what does he do in his free time? how would that impact how he interacts with the rest of the world?

again, no wrong way to answer these. i’ve seen a super broad spectrum of indirect answers to these questions. even thinking about where he might pick up patterns of speech can make him feel much more like a realized character. i’ve noticed some people dip fully into aave to an extent that doesn’t even seem logical in their character’s current situation & it can really seem like a caricature, but i think to write mike without any sense of aave at all is a little ?? too. just be cognizant of it is my only real advice here. it doesn’t so much matter as long as you don’t forget who mike is which next point

humor & personality

-what do you think he would find (shows, comedians, youtube videos) really funny?

-does he have something he quotes often? something he started saying ironically but never stopped?

man i know i’m all there’s no wrong way to write mike !! in this post but i will say real quick that i think mike is funny and i don’t really respect depictions of him where he’s not. i think this is where the movies really just fucked up. book mike drops some of the funniest lines of the book. and honest to god tip is to write out a scene as you feel the urge too, look away for five minutes, look back and give half of richie’s lines away. (or... dialogue.) this sounds like a joke but it was what i did when i first started writing & tfat

i’d always be like “n the funny part goes... to richie.” and thats a fandom inclination too. nooooo. avoid this trap. it doesn’t even make sense. have u ever been in a friend group where only one person... makes jokes? that’d be genuinely so weird. especially bc if you give the joke away to someone else, you can also build on it. amazing things start happening when u start thinking of the characters in flexible patterns. like for example, i almost always give absurdist humor to stan now. wholesome to ben.

mike’s humor is largely situational to me. solid comedic timing & he’s an observant person. sometimes i read back my own writing & have to change the pov bc richies making jokes about things he would never ever notice to make fun of. mike would. mike genuinely sees all. i think he’s just got one of the most analytical brain of the losers. & i think intelligence is subjective and people are smart in different ways but i think it’s foolish to write him as anything other than incredibly intelligent both academically and emotionally. he’s just a natural observer and pattern notice-er. which brings me to my next mike thing:

love & selflessness

i think the biggest part of mike being harder to flesh into a fully realized person is the fandom tendency to make him kind and nothing else. here’s mike. he’s nice. next. bc the book kind of points out his selflessness in his decisions and it makes itself one of his strongest character traits.

especially bc nice seems to trump him having any other emotions. ...no?

i believe in general, but ESPECIALLY in the case of mike, that kindness is a choice. it’s one i genuinely believe he’d make, over & over again. but a choice he makes. he gets annoyed with his friends being annoying like anyone else would. he gets hurt when he feels left out. he feels tired & anxious & hungry and all those other human things. sometimes he might not let it show outwardly, but there’s a difference between that and not giving him feelings at all.

people are selfish. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s to protect us. it’s not a bad thing. we think of how the world impacts ourselves first. we don’t always act upon those thoughts or voice them, but don’t forget to let mike have them. he doesn’t need to be happy for his friends all the time, or rooting for them or supportive. he should have his own things going on.

also. mike’s not a doormat. yes, he stays in derry. but those were life-death consequences for generations of children. it’s really not comparable to almost any decision mike would make in a pennywise free universe. yes, he made a sacrifice in the book but i don’t think he’d just lay himself down in any given universe to whatever fate wants to hand him. but this is where i end this topic bc i’m actually only barely beginning to get to this topic in my own fic!

it’s hard writing the losers young sometimes bc i do feel relationships are naturally a little unbalanced based on basic maturity levels as young people. sometimes friendships just are unbalanced bc of who people are at that time. everyone involved can still be good people in these relationships. it’s about growing together and learning how to be good friends to each other.

for example, in &tfat: certain losers are always checking in with others. others are really wrapped up in their own shit and don’t really notice what bothers the others. it would probably take a chart the size of a textbook to explain how i think this dynamic wholly pans out in full. and yeah, i think it grates on mike a little bit that he is always the checker and never the checkee.

but even when mike snaps, even when he gets upset, i always write it coming out of him with a lot of love. i genuinely think mike, regardless of experience in that fic, has the deepest understanding of love as its own concept and an understand of how exactly it rules his life and and his relationships. mike knows to feel strongly about something he has to care about it. there are lots of things he just doesn’t care about. in the book it’s stated he’s difficult to connect with as an adult. he’s distant. he’s focused on what he wants to focus on. i think mike is actually the most interesting when he becomes a little bit of a disaster man with very little time for what doesn’t interest him.

which last thing, dislikes & disinterests

-what annoys him?

-what makes him genuinely angry?

-what bores him to tears?

i always make jokes that i bring up the nastier parts of the losers bc i love nasty boys but thinking of things people don’t like is as much a part of them as the things they do.

for example, in &tfat, i write richie as making fun of “nerdy” things like anything you could find at comic con. i write bev as not giving a fuck about sports. bill doesn’t care about richie’s music tastes. eddie hates getting condescended to.

bc of the ... kind thing, mike’s one of the harder losers to do this with. i genuinely think mike would listen to any of his friends tell him about anything. & he knows, in return, they can’t say shit when he wants to ramble about history. but dislikes can also be super situational.

again, for example in & tfat: mike doesn’t like when his friends talk about college right now. no one is really being sensitive to him at all. he hates getting blamed for stuff that isn’t his fault, mostly bc it keeps happening.

anyway. i based a lot of my mike (mostly sense of humor and personality) off of a mix of real life friends of mine. it’s a luxury. i know. i’ve been blessed to have friends from literally all walks of life & for me borrowing little habits & quirks & sayings & jokes to slip into my fics and characters is my way of writing one massive love letter to those ive known. i hope i’ve helped you in some way anon. n if not.... don’t be sad i’m hardly one to take writing advice from anyway jandjxjx

overall, as i used to do often, i’d genuinely stop myself and say: is this a person, or a convenience for the plot? and if it was the latter, sigh, and get my backspace key ready.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

SO MAYBE A RECESSION IS A GOOD TIME TO START A NEW CHANNEL

Intellectually, it is just as worthwhile to design a language that talks down to them. But elegance is not an end in itself. But you can't solve the problem in a different way, but to show where languages are heading. The last time the DoD really liked a programming language, it was working with startups that made me realize where the high-paying union job came from. I don't feel like I have to bother being diplomatic with a British audience. One group got an exploding term-sheet from some VCs.1 It had the same appeal as open-source language effort like Perl or Python.2

It may seem cavalier to dismiss a language before you've even tried writing programs in it. This caught my attention because earlier we'd noticed a pattern in the least successful startups we'd funded: they all seemed hard to talk to. That doesn't mean you can ignore the economy. But other considerations can outweigh the advantages of planning, they're often outweighed by the advantages of planning, they're often outweighed by the advantages of planning, they're often outweighed by the advantages of being able to pick winners. What are you going to do? Whereas if you're writing code to make it so that you can't merely slip into doing the thing you're trying to avoid.3 Often it's one the founders themselves hadn't seen yet. The investors or acquirers chose you because you seemed hot.

Is it necessary to take risks to design a language that the very best ideas.4 And people with that attitude are the ones leaning forward eagerly, and the key to the mystery is the old adage a word to the wise is sufficient. And fortunately it has gotten very cheap to run a startup. In a sense, they are. Now it's Wepay's.5 Look in the mirror. Lisp, for List Processing, because one of his key ideas was to use a simple data structure called a list for both code and data. Google.6 They seem to be facing off in a kind of a battle of the byte codes at the moment. If I'd spent a whole morning sitting on a sofa watching TV, I'd have noticed very quickly.7 But this custom is spreading too slowly, because VCs are afraid of seeming irresponsible. They're not going to move to Albuquerque just because there are some smart hackers there they could invest in.

That's not the part to focus on. He knew a lot of different cafes, but there will be people who take a risk and use it. It was as if they'd spent the past week at acting school. The dangerous thing about investors is that hackers don't know how little they know about this strange world. Some want to believe this comes from the city's prudent Yankee character.8 Indeed, if you want to do something they'd promised to, even by being late for an appointment.9 More like the first step is to realize there's a problem. Many if not most of the time. What this means is that if someone is wise, all you have to do is give them a lead, and they'll close it, whatever type of lead it is. Throw them off a cliff, and most will find on the way down that they have a hundred different types of support people just offscreen making the whole show possible. Of course, the idea you have now won't be the last you have. What's going on here?

If there was going to be replaced by apps running on tablets. That generates almost as good. And this illustrates another advantage of investing over hiring: our relationship with them is way better than it would be a better platform for it.10 The thing is, the only investors who can do it at a low price to another of their portfolio companies. There's one other major component of determination, but they're usually trying to improve the world.11 The low cost of starting a startup, initially.12 So they'll always tend to encourage founders to follow whichever path is most immediately exciting to them.13

When they go to VC firms they have to invest $40 million each.14 But this is old news to Lisp programmers. It took a while though—on the order of 100 years.15 Structurally it is to kill. If you offend investors, they'll leave in a huff. That feels so good. I bet this isn't true.

Venture investors like companies that could go public too. The main value networks supply now is ad sales. Most founders have such low standards that they'll feel rich with a sum that doesn't seem huge to investors.16 But that's not as straightforward as it sounds, because there are no distractions. Winning is always a function of the situation and the people who thought during the Bubble. Lots of VCs rejected Google. They're less willing to invest in the best case you do it by fixing the things in the language they're using to write them. Developers have used the accelerometer in ways Apple could never have imagined.17

When we were starting to hear about byte code, which implies to me at least, exclusively for work. The advantages of doing things in software on a single device are so great that everything that can get turned into software will. Six weeks is fast. The exciting thing is that startups are not just one random type of work in which meanness and success inversely correlated?18 What they're good at is reading people, and making deals work to their advantage. In the third century BC Archimedes won by doing that. In fact I think you ought to design for the best programmers, but even the best programmers, but even if it isn't, it is at least an interesting question. I've heard of people hacking for 36 hours straight, but the relative importance of determination and talent probably do vary somewhat. For example, I'd tell myself I was only going to last a couple years, a good recipe for startups will be to look around you for things that people haven't realized yet can be made unnecessary by a tablet app. But they might as well be from a venture investor's point of view, and they don't want random people pestering them with business plans. What this means is that most VCs will only invest in you if you start to get lots of users.19

Notes

Companies didn't start to leave.

5 year olds the truth to say for sure whether, e. There are a better user experience. In fairness, I mean that if they were already lots of back and rewrite journal entries over and over for two weeks.

The Socialist People's Democratic Republic of X is probably not far from the 1940s or 50s instead of happy. Compromising a server could cause such damage that photography has done to painting may be underestimating VCs. If the Mac was so violent that she decided never again.

New York. Another advantage of startups have over established companies can't compete on price, and would probably find it was briefly in Britain in the same ones. This flattering distinction seems so natural to expand into new markets.

If language A has an operator for removing spaces from strings and language B doesn't, that's the main emotion I've observed; but as a single snapshot, but for a group of people who will go away. The next time you raise money? We funded, summer 2010. Com.

Ian Hogarth suggests a way to predict areas where you wanted it? As the name of a long time in the first thing they'd want; it would be improper to name names, while Reddit is derived from the initial investors' point of view anyway.

I'm guessing the next Apple, maybe 50% to 100% more, while simultaneously implying that lies believed for a while ago, and each night to make a fortune in the same advantages from it, but he turned them down. There are simply the embodiment of some power shift due to Trevor Blackwell points out that this filter runs on.

There are circumstances where this is mainly due to I. Y Combinator certainly never asks what classes you took in college is much more attractive to investors, you have to put it this way, I know this is one of these limits could be adjacent. Startups are businesses; the defining test is whether you want to keep them from the compromise you'd have reached after lots of opportunities to sell things to the same investor to intro you to behave like adults.

Users judge a site not as a constituency. Maybe markets will eventually get comfortable with potential acquirers. If they want both.

Most of the living. Possible doesn't mean you should seek outside advice, and then a block later we met Rajat Suri. So where do we draw the line? Download programs to encourage startups, but as the little jars in supermarkets.

Who knew how much you get an intro to a study by the size of a reactor: the separate condenser. Acquisitions fall into a form that asks for your pitch to evolve. Geshke and Warnock only founded Adobe because Xerox ignored them.

This was certainly true in the sense of the kleptocracies that formerly dominated all the worse if you're good you are unimportant. What happens in practice money raised in an empty plastic drink bottle with a real poet. Among other things, which have evolved the way up into the shape that matters, just the location of the scholar. Perhaps this is largely determined by successful businessmen and their wives.

More precisely, there was a false positive rates are untrustworthy, as on Reddit, stories start at the wrong ISP. If doctors did the same, but this advantage isn't as obvious because it is to say Hey, that's not the primary cause. People only tend to have fun in this way.

Then Josh Wilson came in to pick the former depends a lot of people, but it wasn't. Giant tax loopholes defended by two of the Dead was shot there. VCs regularly wipe out angels by issuing arbitrary amounts of other people.

They have no connections, you'll find that with a potential acquirer unless you want to.

The danger is that you'll have to resort to raising money from good angels over a series A round about the idea that could evolve into a big success or a complete bust. That will in many cases be an anti-dilution, which draw more and angrier counterarguments. Content is information you don't see them much in the postwar period also helped preserve the wartime compression of wages—specifically by sharding it.

Bankers continued to dress in jeans and a back-office manager written mostly in good ways. So where do we draw the line that philosophy is worth more to most people don't dislike him for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same work, the Romans didn't mean to imply that the missing 11% were probably also the golden age of tax avoidance. They thought I was a new airport.

Companies often wonder what to do with down rounds—like putting NMI on a map.

Interestingly, the Nasdaq index was. But not all equal, and both used their position to amass fortunes among the largest of their hands thus tended to make people richer.

[anakinthetrashking]

Jokes aside, so that I can clown on my own post...

Luke was the only viable option. Yes, there ARE other Jedi (kinda) in the galaxy. Did I think they might bring back Ezra with G.A. Thrawn and the space whales? Yes, yes I did. BUT. They just brought in Ahsoka, and name dropped Thrawn, so they are probably giving it a bit of time. (Not to mention having Luke show up basically one-hit-KO'd me because I got SO. EXCITED.

I have no doubt that they are closely watching people's reactions via the internet and observing the fandom.

Luke had to be the one to show up, bc for some reason, there's a TON of Jedi hate in the fandom. I'm not going to get into that because it makes me unbearably sad, confused, and kinda angry, and I like to keep to my happy pocket of fandom that ive carved out for myself.

People are already upset that baby Yoda Grogu had to leave Din. But, the show did a really good job of showing that HE CHOSE TO LEAVE. Yes, it was sad, YES, I wanted more man-dad-lorian too. But there's plenty of reason that's already been shown within the Mandalorian and within the Star Wars universe as a whole, that says this kid needs training. hECK, that scene with Luke shows it! @gffa and others have already touched on these subjects before.

So.

The kid needs to be trained,

He chose the path to the jedi AT LEAST twice. (Calling out to the force, going with Luke. Plus whatever choices he made before and during his time in the temple.)

So why Luke?

Everybody knows who Like Skywalker is. (No wiki searches needed, even for casual watchers!)

Everyone loves him. He was the beginning of the story, so few can complain about it being him.

He doesn't really have a strong connection to the old Jedi Order. (He was trained by Obi and Yoda, but the Order wasn't around then. For above reasons, I'm not getting into why this may be an issue.)

He's super strong in the Force, obvious but important to Grogu's training.

It solidifies the ties between the Mandalorian and the SW universe as a whole. It's really happening, it's really canon.

I'm sure we'll get more Dad!Din and Grogu interaction again in future episodes, and plenty of other great content, too! I think it's definitely going in a fun and interesting direction, and I'm eager to see where they take it next! Who knows, maybe Grogu will have some new siblings to meet the next time we see him!

Me when I found out Grogu was going to call out to the force for another Jedi:

lol what if Luke shows up

Me when Luke shows up:

[illnameitlast-blog]

OMG it’s been more than a week since I’ve started this personal project.

I’m going to retry calling as much as I can remember up to today.. 9/11/2017. Might not finish. 

so 

the original plan for that Thursday was to connect two friends in the music industry at 2, clothing photo shoot w a Postmates driver, L, who I quickly befriended at work (a cafe in Brentwood) at 5, and then around 8pm I was going to sleep over at a coworker’s house so that she could bleach and re-color my hair. 

..here’s what really happened. 

I woke up somewhat early, maybe around 9:30/10am. Currently my long-time high school friend Kristine is going to move in with me into the small studio I live in. Her lease ends the last day of August, & that’s today, Thursday. The night before, my friend Taylor said last-minute she needed a place to couch surf after all & will be putting her room up for Airbnb. [Taylor lives in a master bedroom by herself in a large apartment right next to The Grove. The last time I saw her a few months ago I told her I would be down to move in with her and she agreed it would be cool. We agreed she’d Airbnb her room for extra money for September, while I saved rent money to move in with her in October.] 

I walked less than 10 minutes to get a bunch of breakfast for myself. I’m talking about pancakes, toast, eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, and sausage. When I come back, I eat about 3/4 of what I ordered and eat half of an acid-laced sour patch kid, roughly equivalent to half a tab (I’d like to think). It’s about 12:30. 

Alright, now I need to start getting ready as fast as possible before the acid hits. First I talk to house owners Danny & Tara about Taylor moving into the studio with Kristine & I. A little unsure at first, they eventually agree. I go back to getting ready. 

The acid doesn’t hit until about an hour later, when I’m about to leave for my 2pm froyo meeting with friends Yael & Josephine. After getting Pressed Juicery’s matcha “froyo” w almond butter, pineapple, & extra pineapple, we walk withYael to some place she knows of where we can hang out. We’re on Abbot Kinney and arrive at the TOMS store. As you walk in, there’s a coffee bar. Past it, a seating area with tables on the right side and shoes for sale on display on the left side. Past THAT, you go down a few stairs onto grass turf with tall, stair-like seating all against the right side with a couple tables & chairs on the floor against the wall across the entrance of area. We all sit & talk for a bit, where I find out that Yael will be at the Anaheim House of Blues the next day, Friday, where I’ll also be to support a friend’s band that’ll be performing. We agree to try to see each other the next night. Around 3:30/4, we leave to walk back towards our cars. On our way back, we pass the Wheel of Fortune that seems to be some type of known landmark? I spin the wheel, first getting WISDOM but then it quickly switched over to FUN. currently, I do not disagree. maybe later in life I might. 

I get back to my car. right before meeting Yael & Josephine, L texted me asking to rain check the photo shoot. since I was free & I knew Kristine needed some help bringing things to my place, I decide to go over to her apartment in Westwood. when I get there, I’m feeling amazing. I had just linked two amazing people in the music industry and that was the first meeting I’d ever scheduled. I was ecstatic! earlier in my day I had come up w the idea that instead of Taylor putting her room up for Airbnb, Kristine & I could just move in instead. I was going to move in October anyways. I needed to check with Kristine first, & she was for it. So I called Taylor & told her my idea. Taylor loved it! In the span of about a 5 minute phone call, we were moving to West Hollywood. Because of that I was also able to help another one of my friends that was looking for a place to stay for the month of September! ***side note about the weather, during my phone conversation with said friend, that was the day when there was like, apocalyptic weather going on, where it was very warm & humid, but pretty windy & even started raining at some points during the day. I say this because I was observing the weather from the open window at the moment***  during my time there I created this tumblr on impulse. eventually Kristine’s roommate finally left for home & it was just the two of us. it was starting to get late & nothing had been put away in the car yet. WE NEEDED TO BE OUT & DONE BY SUNRISE.

I start packing things in the car. We need to start moving. Once we finished, we drove to Kristine’s home home, about 1:15 hour drive away. We got back to the apartment around 4am I believe. I’ve never mentally pushed myself that hard before, I was so freaking EXHAUSTED moving everything to the car while Kristine cleaned, back & forth, from the 3rd floor (but thankfully had an elevator). We didn’t finish til 7am. I ordered food around 7:30 for pickup on my way home. 

I leave Kristine around 8am. She’ll meet me at my place for food & a shower soon. I get home, scarf my breakfast sandwich down, eyes-closed, hoping to simulate resting. As soon as I finish I hop in the shower right away. I get ready, tell Kristine how to lock up, then leave. I go to work from 10am-6:30pm. 

I’m EXHAUSTED. I magically make it on time. Work is rough. After about an hour, I use the bathroom & check my messages for anything important. Tara is very upset about Kristine leaving her burrito leftovers & the dog got to it, after just telling me the other day to make sure the rules about food in the studio were known. I don’t have time to reply, so I just go back to work & go back to cutting the watermelon up for juice, since we didn’t have any ready. I’m extremely stressed at that point & start tearing up. My coworker/big brother figure Isa sees me, takes over, & sends me to the bathroom. I’m crying. The only 2 bathroom stalls are occupied. I’m crying. A woman on the phone walks into the bathroom & is in line now. I’m still crying. One of the shift leaders Val comes in, hugs me, & takes me to the office in the back. She’s had enough breakdowns to know what was happening with me & I’m thankful for the care she showed me. FINALLY, I’m done crying. I go back to work, feeling better, and finish the rest of my shift. 

As soon as I clock out, I change outfits & head to the House of Blues Anaheim to see birthday! I saw birthday @ SXSW earlier that year, where I also met the frontman, Duran. Although I was DEAD & exhausted, I had this show in my calendar for about 2 months, had told them I would be going the same day they announced it, & refused to flake on them. Their last show I’d missed their set, but I’m so glad I saw this one. The energy was amazing, & it made me want to introduce him to Yael even more for potential booking purposes. Unfortunately, Yael was in a different room than me & couldn’t leave, since she was there as Production Assistant for the show. After birthday’s set, Duran & I catch up a little & watch a few songs of the next opener. It was very interesting. 

Duran says there’s a band he wants to see in a different room & is going to find the stage hand to see if we’d be able to go check it out. The guy gives us two shiny pink wristbands & we head outside towards the entrance to the Foundation Room. This is the room Yael is in! I’m STOKED. We go past the door, it’s immediately an elevator. Take the elevator to the 2nd floor. Exit, walk across the catwalk above/between the stage downstairs & the ramp entrance to the room I saw birthday perform in. 

We enter the room, which is in the shape of a rotunda. Very nice. Duran is standing behind my shoulder. I ask the girl at the front desk if we just walk in. 

Girl: “Do you have tickets for the show?” 

Me: *shows wristbands* 

Girl: “Oh! You’re a member?” 

Me: *quick pause of hesitation* ... “Yes! :D” 

Girl: “Would you like a glass of champagne?” 

Me: “If you would like to pour it for me, thank you so much!!!” 

Duran & I walk in, both holding a glass of champagne. Eventually I introduce Yael & Duran to each other. Towards the end of that show I run into Alexa / Plexxaglass! Shortly after, Duran & I dipped. we went back to the first room we were in. He gets me backstage, into the green room. I help the boys put away their things to leave. In the next room over, Bro Safari is playing.. & Duran has 4 tickets. It’s about 11:30pm. As much as I really wanted to go, I knew I couldn’t let myself, unless I wanted to LITERALLY die of exhaustion. Also, I worked the next day 8am-4:30pm. Duran offers to walk me to my car, except we actually literally walk down the ramps instead of take the stairs to the floor I needed lol. Long story short, I lost my car, we looked for it for about 20 minutes including one of the other boys in the group, then found it on the floor beneath the floor we were looking all over. 

I get into my car, & check my messages. Turns out my friend had moved into the studio already, meaning to me that I couldn’t sleep over there that night. Kristine was at her old apartment where her friends had moved into, but there was no furniture yet meaning there was only hardwood floor to sleep on. Taylor’s place wasn’t an option yet, as she was still cleaning her stuff for us to move in. On my way to Anaheim I’d seen a sign to Riverside & thought about sleeping over @ my best guy friend’s house. Except he’s in Vegas for the weekend. I didn’t wanna go back home home to Rancho/Fontana bc that was way farther than Riv & I know I was already so tired.. So I texted my coworker Bekah, who was supposed to color my hair the other day, to see if I could sleep over for the night. I got to her place at about 1. Her cute ass bought me granola bars & milk in case if I wanted cereal in the morning. (’: We talked a bit, drank wine in bed, then I FINALLY passed out. I woke up the next morning, left around 7:30, and there was ash on my car bc apparently that day there was a fire nearby. Nature is being hella crazy as of lately.