#tagged @ psu which fuck off!!!

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

10/?

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

People truly underestimate exyblr's ability to create a whole ass human out of nothing. you give us their place of origin, their position, their size, and maybe one fact about their life and BOOM a whole ass human.

🧜‍♀️ sapphicexy

Why is this so truuuuuuue 😭

🌞 blonde-jeremy-knox

jean moreau? im pretty sure no one has ever even heard him SPEAK but we know:

he's french. he's tall. he's a backliner. he doesn't talk to the press. he's perfect court but transferred from EAU to USC (which is literally the hugest change possible)

bing bang BOOM he is bitchy but quiet (probably raises his eyebrow in disdain a lot), a sturdy presence that is a little unsure of his place in the world but hides it behind bitchy comments who always strives to be better on and off the court.

💃fox-me-up follow

and he's gay

🌞 blonde-jeremy-knox

and he's gay

678 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

call me matt boyd the way i look at dan wilds like she hung the moon and stars

#god......Dan please.....end my suffering......

109 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#it ain't happening sweetheart SHE'S NEVER GONNA TOP YOU

243 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

do you ever want to squidge someone's cheeks SO BAD but you know they'd murder you for even thinking it

🦚 dilf-wymack

is this about andrew minyard

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

isn't everything

#just assume everything i say is about andrew minyard

1,002 notes

✍️ exy-fic-rec

icarus once flew

Fandom: Exy RPF

Pairing: Kevin Day/Andrew Minyard

Rating: E

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits

Word count: 59k

Summary: He'd done this before with teammates, and it hadn't affected anything; there was no reason this should be any different, so it wasn't different. But here on the bathroom floor, hugging his knees to his chest, Kevin could admit to himself that it was different than anything he'd done with teammates in the past.

It was different, because none of those teammates were Andrew.

#kevin day #andrew minyard #0203 #kandrew #psu #palmetto #psu foxes #explicit #exy rpf #fic rec #explicit #friends with benefits #angst #hurt/comfort

201 notes

🐋 sexyexy

ran into jeremy knox on campus and that girl was literally bouncing on his toes, what the fuck kinda -

#hated it btw #way too depressed for her rn

25 notes

🤳 badexyimagines

Imaaaaagine....... it's your first date with riko moriyama. He takes you to red lobster, you're allergic to lobster but he orders it for you anyway. You die

#exy #imagine #riko moriyama #esu #once again this is a JOKE

56 notes

[puckhq]

though my eyes could see i still was a blind man || THROUPLE

tagging: Morgan Weston ( @morgan-weston ), Eva Anderson ( @anderseva ) Noah Puckerman

date & time: Thursday, August 29, 2024 @ some time between 3 pm- 5 pm

location: Professor Eva Anderson's fancy smancy PSU classroom

warnings: none!

summary: What was suppose to be them christening Eva's new desk turns into Puck and Eva telling Morgan some not so easy news to digest.

PUCK had been busy as fuck this week. Between Maya starting her sophomore year of high school, which, according to her, is a 'big deal, dad' and juggling... whatever the fuck Morgan, Eva and him were doing and having all the god damn meeting for the security department, and the reappearance of not only Santana but also his father, the ex-Marine had kind of neglected - more like forgot, about the fact that he was starting college in less than a week. So the last couple of days had been him running around stressed. Oh and speaking of baby mama's- people, baby parents returning, there was the no so small matter of, Andy's kid probbaly being Morgan's and him having no fucking idea. When, Eva had shared her suspicious, truthfully it was the only option that made sense. With Andy's general attitude toward Morgan and the timing, it was clear as fucking day, and Morgan deserved to know. Since Andy was determined to punish both their child and Morgan, that left Eva and Puck to bring it up and Puck just didn't know how the hell it was gonna go, because all he knew is what he would do. Sitting on top of the desk, he looked at Eva. "Do we hold his hand for this or do we give him space? What if he's fucking pissed? I don't know what the man looks like angry but it can't be good. Well, nah, he's probably hot as fuck angry, but you know what I mean." Then Puck ran his hand over his face. "What if he's sad?" Puck was really shit at comforting people, he was a fix it kinda guy not a cry on my shoulder type.

EVA To say that this week hadn't been hectic and messy as hell would be quite the understatement. Eva had dragged her feet all summer and put her syllabus off, as well as not deciding how to decorate her classroom, so she was in crunch mode essentially. And as if she needed another thing on her plate, that convo with Andy had left her wanting to fight for multiple reasons, but it also left her at a crossroads, which was why she'd filled Puck in on it. He had a kid himself and while his situation was different, and had no drama, she knew he'd probably have a better idea of what they should do. And of course, he did. While their plans had been to have sex in her classroom at first, things had shifted to them using the neutral space to tell Morgan their suspicions. Could she be wrong about this? Sure. Did Morgan at least deserve to know and get a paternity test done to be certain? Absolutely. Trying not pace around her classroom, Puck speaking pulled her out of her head and she sighed as she glanced over at him. "Maybe we give him space. Just to be safe." She hummed as she opened her laptop and pulled the conversation up just in case Morgan needed to read through it and see why 2+2=4 in this equation. "He'll probably feel a lot of emotions, so we just...let him feel them, and then we ask him what he needs from us." God, this right here was why she didn't want kids herself, or to be involved with them period, but there was no turning back now.

MORGAN was happy. The wind was blowing through the car, the dirt was whirled behind the wheels up into the air, and the sound of "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas was blasting through the speakers of the red pick-up truck, as it zoomed from his ranch into the city. The gravel was soon replaced by real concrete, and it didn't take long to find the first stoplight, and therefore the first sign of the city. The cowboy's hands were banging against the steering wheel to the beat of the song, and he was grinning as the guitar solos rang through his ears. He could smell the sweet cake that was next to him on the passenger seat. Eva and Puck had been incredibly busy lately, getting themselves ready for the new semester. It was so cute, how they were both new at this; Puck being a student, and Eva being a professor. So the tall man wanted to show up and support his two lovers in any kind of way that he could. He'd parked the car, grabbed the little cake box and had headed into one of the many buildings on campus. There were so many damn doors, he had to stop and ask some random person for directions. "Ms. Ander- I mean, Professor Anderson's office?" He was shown with a point, and Morgan gave the person a big smile and nodded. "Thank you! Have a great day!" He almost skipped down the hallway towards the door, knowing what two people he'd be seeing behind it, but he knocked a few times - trying to see if he could knock a little happy tune - before he opened the door and greeted Puck and Eva with a grin. "Howdy, y'all!" He moved in to peck each of their lips, and set the cake down. "Chocolate cake. I wasn't sure- I mean, I tried my best. It tastes okay." He chuckled nervously, his hand scratching the back of his head, before he snapped out of it and took a step back to admire the desk that had been assembled, and afterwards the rest of the office. "It's looks really good in here! Very professional!"

PUCK nodded in understanding of what Eva ws saying. It was probably best to give him space, and to not immediately go into talking about how to go about ensuring Morgan get the DNA test he's going to need. Only if Morgan specifically asked. Puck could be a shoulder, he has very nice and broad shoulders that are perfect for crying on, so he can put them to use and just mentally think of how to fix it, so if Morgan does come to him wanting help he'll be ready. Yeah, Puck could do the emotional intelligence thing. Just as he was about to say something, the thought was lost at the Sound of a very happy 'Howdy y'all!'. Dear god this was gonna be rough and Puck was ready to back out and just fuck on the desk like they were originally planning. But then he was getting a sweet little peck and there was a homemade chocolate cake and Puck had never wanted to be the bearer of tense news less than he did right now. But damn if Morgan was the sweetest man he'd ever encountered for making them a whole ass cake. "Hey chocolate cake made by you, gotta be good." He said supportively because he was all about encouraging chocolate cake. "Our girl knows how to make anything look good, don't she?" He looked over at Eva with a smile before getting off the desk to sit in one of the chairs by the cake. "Why'd you make us a cake?" He asked genuinely curious but also stalling.

EVA didn't like this any more than Puck did, but after blowing up with Andy, she was trying to prepare herself to be the calm one. After all, Puck was a parent and was seeing this from a parental POV, whereas she was simply just wanting to do the right thing for someone she cared about. Delivering this news was going to crush Morgan, but someone had to be strong in this situation. Though, as soon as Morgan came bouncing in with a cake, she didn't know how she'd get through this. Smiling softly at the peck, she glanced at the cake and only now did she actually remember him wanting to bake one for them. And it was a very cute gesture, one she would have been a lot more stoked about if not for the elephant in the room. Taking in the compliment about her room, which led to Puck throwing out one too, Eva shook her head. "Okay, okay. I barely did much in here, but thanks, boys." She giggled. She was grateful that Puck decided to stall first, so she pushed the chair to the desk back a little and motioned for Morgan to have a seat. "Yeah, I know the sex has been amazing, but what did we do to deserve a cake? Not that we're complaining, and I'm sure much like anything else you've made for us, this is gonna taste great, but what's this for?"

MORGAN moved around the quaint space, looking around as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He knew that it was about to become an intense time for both Puck and Eva. They wouldn't have as much time for their little fun shenanigans once work and school kicked in, so Morgan was soaking it all up. For the first time, he really truly understood why people were in relationships; the time spent together, memories being made, getting closer and learning more about each other. It excited him! So, knowing that he probably wasn't going to see them as much going forward, any time spent with the two was now cherished time. Turning around at their questions regarding the cake he'd made for them, a slight red tint grew on his cheeks. "Oh, well, y'know- you guys are working hard, gotta get some sugar in ya!" Was it because he was trying to impress them? Absolutely. For Morgan, one of his main love languages was acts of service - and what better way to show people he cared about them, than through cooking? Baking was something he wasn't so good at, but everyone liked baked goods. He watched as Eva pulled out the chair, and moved to sit down, his hands coming out of his pockets and instead going behind his head as he leaned back. "So, what's up? You guys seemed so quiet when I got here."

PUCK was not thrilled that all of this was happening so early in the development of this... throuple. They really seemed like they were headed somewhere and it's not like going through big shit isn't an importnt part of building any legit relationship, but, what if it was too early? It was hard for Puck to imagine that this kind of news wasn't going to be too much strain for something so new. While Puck wasn't ready to lose this, he was aware it was a possibility. But, it was also possible that this whole thing, while messy, could bring them all closer together. That sounded equally as scary and Puck was kind of ready to just bolt and let Eva do this shit on her own. I mean, she was the one who spoke to Andy, why was he even here? Right, for support. "For future reference I'm cool with there being no reason for a chocolate cake, but that's actually fucking adorable." He'd eat some later, right now his stomach was not feeling the whole food thing, he needed to get all this possible kid shit out first. "Unlike you I've got self control." He said with a smile, regerencing the other night when Puck walked in to Morgan and Eva two second from fucking on the couch. "Nah, we were just waiting for you, big guy." He said, looking to Eva, because she'd definitely explain all this better.

EVA couldn't help but give a half of a smile at Morgan simply baking them a cake simply for being stressed out about the school season starting. It was really thoughtful, and he hadn't even needed to go out of his way for them like this but she appreciated it anyways. She nodded in agreement with Puck's sentiments. "Yeah, I'll take anything you wanna make for me too, for any reason or no reason at all." When Puck didn't make a move to cut the cake and grab a piece, she assumed they were both in the same position of not having an appetite for it at the moment. Deciding to let Puck's other comment slide as Morgan took his seat, she was already trying to sort out how to break this news to him when the ball was practically being thrown in her court. And she would have been slapping Puck's arm if it didn't make sense for her to be the one to break the news, so she hopped up on her desk and turned to face Morgan. "We technically planned for all three of us to break in my new desk, but then something came up." She sighed. "First of all, I may have overstepped a boundary or two with your former lover and friend, Andy. We were talking about you, and they gave a timeline for you two breaking up and them getting pregnant...and to me, it sounded like you might be the father. I tried to push an answer out of them and they got super defensive, and they went from denying it to basically assuming that I was trying to come for their son and threatening to take legal action, and then saying they wouldn't let you around the son because of me now. Which isn't confirmation that you are the father, and I didn't actually come for your son which you can see for yourself but — anyways, I told Puck and we both thought that if anything, you deserve to talk to Andy and get answers in case I'm right." Once it was all out there, she finally exhaled another breath before shrugging. "I'm sorry, that was a lot, and I could be fucking wrong, but it doesn't hurt for you to be sure, right?"

MORGAN smiled as Puck talked. The man oozed confidence like nothing he'd ever seen before; it wasn't until he was in a more intimate setting that that confidence started to crack a little, but Morgan wasn't the type of person to cause those cracks to become bigger. He just appreciated the fact that he wasn't just one big facade, and that there was more to him than that, even if he probably wouldn't let people believe that. Eva, on the other hand, really was confident through and through - in the best way possible. It was the type of confidence where she really believed in herself, and didn't hesitate about her next move. She was tough and badass, and Morgan felt so incredibly honored to have been let in to see the softer and sweeter side of her. It was the sides of these two people that Morgan constantly hungered for; that sweetness, that closeness, the bond that they had. And maybe he was trying everything he could, to further grow it. So his eyes went from Puck to Eva, as it seemed like he kinda passed the baton on to her, and Morgan listened intently as she started telling everything about the conversations that the tall cowboy had blissfully been unaware of. His throat started closing and becoming dry, his heart beat picked up, and he found himself wanting to melt into the chair and not exist anymore. The words 'pregnant', 'son', 'defensive' and 'threatening' seemed so loud in his head. Blinking a few times, Morgan looked away, his breathing getting slightly heavier. He couldn't keep sitting. He was feeling restless, needing to get that anxious energy out of his body. So he stood up quickly, turning his back to Eva and Puck as she finished explaining. And the wheels inside Morgan's head started turning. What was he supposed to say to them? What was he supposed to say to anyone? He walked up to the wall, his fingers pushing one of the framed pictures up slightly, making it hang more straight as he took a deep breath. He knew what to tell them.

"I've already spoken to Andy about it." He said quietly, and turned to the two. "A few weeks ago, I asked them. He's not mine." Morgan walked up to the back of the chair, holding onto it, as if to hold on to his anger and keep it inside. "I've known Andy since I was a kid, they wouldn't lie to me. Not about that. And I believe them. But to threaten you? To take their frustrations with me, and our break-up, out on you?" Morgan's eyes never left Eva's. He wanted to make sure she understood this. His fingers tightened around the fabric of the chair. He was thoroughly pissed off. "To do anything that would cause you any kind of hurt?" He was quiet for a moment as he breathed heavily. The idea of Andy even doing that hurt him. "I'll talk to them about it."

PUCK fell as silent as he's ever been, back a little straighter, like this conversation demanded him to be at attention. As Eva spoke, Puck never looked away from Morgan, he wanted to read every micro-expression and his body language, as if it would give him the ability to read his mind or emotions. Once Morgan turned from them, Puck knew the taller man was in thought and needed a minute to process before he spoke again. Both Morgan and Eva were better at thinking before speaking than Puck was. Looking over at the professor he sighed before his eyes went right back to Morgan. It didn't really surprise him that Morgan had already asked Andy about all of this. I mean if Eva can do the math so could he, but it did surprise him how easily he was willing to accept it as the truth. While Puck didn't know Andy, he knew people and people did fucked up shit when they were angry, hurt and/or scared and from what he knows, Andy was all of those things after their breakup with Morgan. Again, his eyes stayed on Morgan, even as Morgan looked so intently at Eva, like he'd hurt anyone that brought harm to her and he wondered if being regarded by the cowboy felt as incredible as it looked, he'd have to ask Eva later. Standing up, Puck made a little nose to break the moment with his hair, which, interrupting moments between these two is starting to become his thing. "Look I don't know Andy but I do know hurt and angry folk don't act like themselves. I'm not saying they're lying to you, I'm saying they could be and I'm telling you as a father, you're gonna be heartbroken if that little boy is yours and you lose anymore time with him." All he could think was how devestated he'd have been if Maya had been kept from him, if he had missed two years of firsts. "You owe it to that kid and to yourself to make damn sure it ain't you no matter what Andy says." Maybe he had spoken out of turn but it was too late now.

EVA had half expected Morgan to need to get up, so she didn't even flinch when it happened. He was much calmer than most people would be in his shoes, but she was used to this sort of softness to him anyways so it was on brand for him. But as she watched him adjust a frame on her wall, all she could do was sigh. That was until he started explaining that he'd already asked Andy and they'd said no. That was exactly what Andy had said to her when she'd first started asking, before they got defensive. It had been bullshit, and for someone who could sell anyone anything, she knew the antics of someone trying to craft a narrative that was false and then breaking when someone challenged it. This was probably the first time the kid's paternity had come into question like this, it seemed to her as though Andy hadn't been prepared for it. Letting Morgan get worked up over Andy taking their frustration out of her, she kept her eyes locked on his until he'd finished. This situation had just gone from messy to pure hell, and as she glanced over at Puck as he spoke, she was grateful that he was pushing this as much as she was. "Puck's right. You can check the conversation for yourself if you want, but..let's just take a step back here." Eva suggested, nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders. "Andy implied two things: they're still in love with you and can't be just friends with you, and they still think you're the same person you were three years ago and that you can't make time for work. They can't let you back into their life, let alone the kid's, if you're going to do what you did before. Their words, not mine. I tried to tell them that you're different now, that you have no problem making time now, and it fell on deaf ears." She explained, tempted to roll her eyes at how hard Andy had pushed back on it when they didn't know the man Morgan was now. "And don't worry about them coming for me. I can handle myself." She reassured him with a small smile.

MORGAN's jaw clenched as he stayed silent. He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do, didn't even know what to think! He was frustrated, sad, angry. He could see where Puck and Eva were coming from, pushing for him to do something. All the signs were pointing towards it. Why else would Andy be so angry at him? It made sense! He didn't make time for them before, so why would he make time for their kid now? And that kind of mindset was being held against him. It was why they were so angry with him! But then again, Morgan came back to the fact that Andy just simply wouldn't lie to him. They never had before, why would they start now? Morgan's head was starting to hurt, as he was being pulled in both directions, and the palm of his hand rubbed his temple softly as he thought about what was next. "Andy's not in love with me. Is there still love between us? Yes! But it's the kind of love that never leaves two old best friends." Morgan claimed, looking between his two lovers. His voice was slightly louder than before, but he also knew other people were working in offices next door. "D'ya really not think they'd tell me, if the boy was mine?" Morgan asked, almost hesitant and like he didn't believe it himself. "I just..." closing his eyes, Morgan ran a hand through his hair, groaning quietly in frustration. "I'll talk to them." He sighed, a sudden wave of surrendering washing over him. He looked back at the two gorgeous people in front of him, sad that all of this had happened. "I'm sorry."

EVA was certain that they'd somehow taken a trip to delulu land when Morgan first shot down the idea that Andy was still in love with him. It was wild and utterly ridiculous to her that they'd still be clutching onto feelings from three years ago; however, she'd never fallen in love herself, or had a kid, so all she could do was assume that this was the type of dumb shit people did when they had one or both of those. Her jaw dropped yet again when he questioned whether they thought Andy would lie about the kid's paternity, which was the whole reason they were here after all. She just stared at him blankly as he seemed to be at least agreeing to talk to Andy, and then when Puck didn't immediately speak up, she took that as her cue and grabbed her laptop, scrolling to the important parts of that convo. "Cowboy, listen to me closely. Their exact words were: "I'm still bitter, I still love him, I can't just be his friend." Oh, and then my personal favorite was: "I just don't see a future where he and I end up together anymore and as it stands, I can't see myself going back to being just friends with him either." I might not know or like Andy very much at this moment, but that's not friend love. In fact, they also doubt that you two were ever really friends, which I'm gonna guess is them thinking that you leaving them means you weren't a real friend or lover or whatever." Eva stated before she sat her laptop down and exhaled a small breath. "I'm not saying they're a bad person, and my guess is that Andy is lying because they're afraid that you won't stick around for your son just like you didn't stay for them. Pretty sure it's also because they don't want you around as just a father to your son if they can't have you back as a lover, but that's a whole other issue. I can't judge their way of trying to protect their son — but if he is yours, you have every right to know and to be given a fair chance to prove Andy wrong. That's all we're saying."

PUCK was grateful when after Morgan spoke Eva was right there to swoop in with a response, because Puck just couldn't stop looking at Morgan. Why did he seem so calm? I mean, Puck noticed the jaw clench and that was a clear indicator of growing frustration and it made him wonder how much he could hold down before he all came pouring out and when it did who would it be aimed at, what would it look like. Morgan had already made it clear that he'll be damned if any harm comes to Eva, so he probably wouldn't direct it there. Would it be him? Would Puck have to bare his anger and frustration? He could handle it, he had endured much worse. As Eva kept talking Puck could only imagine hearing Andy's own words was tough. And very uncharacteristically, Puck wanted to comfort Morgan and tell him, no matter what it's all gonna be okay. That they would be there with him to figure this out and help him through it, but instead he stood where he was and waited for Eva to finish because even though what she was saying might be hard to hear she was 100% right and Morgan needed to hear it. "All this is... a lot. I'm guessing it's gut wrenching to think your Andy, your childhood friend, could maybe do something like this to you, but it's just a possibility, something to prepare for." Puck tried to reassure without sugarcoating, too much. "You definitely ain't gotta be sorry. Life's always throwing shit at us that we aren't sure we can catch but it ain't just you, you know? you got people. Not to sound like an after school special, but you aren't alone in any of this, man." Again, Puck was shit at this, but he was trying.

MORGAN ran a hand through his hair, watching Eva pick up her laptop and pull out the evidence. He was beginning to get frustrated. He knew it wasn't their intentions, he knew that all they were doing, was to make him aware of it and ask him to do something - especially if Oakley was his after all! And that it was all coming from the best of intentions! But as Eva read out loud exactly what Andy had said, he couldn't help but almost feel like he was being shown his mistakes, or even being made to choose. Some irrational part of him was whispering in his ear that this could also be Eva and Puck's way of getting rid of Morgan. But that was the completely irrational part of him that he, nine times out of ten, didn't believe in after all. As Eva kept explaining, Morgan had to look down at the ground. He hated this. It was heartbreaking, hearing that his ex had spoken to his...situation like that, but also that his situation suspected his ex of not telling the truth. Eva finished and Puck picked up, following after, and Morgan's eyes shot up, finding his dark brown ones. The ones that he could find himself staring into and get lost in for way too long. Nodding along slowly, Morgan sucked in a deep breath, and nodded to himself, making a decision in his mind. "Thank you for this." He said and pushed the chair in, giving both Eva and Puck a look that was determined. "Enjoy the cake." And with that, Morgan started walking, leaving the room. He almost felt the need to be sick, but he just had to get away. He needed time to think about how the hell to approach Andy like this. And how to make it up to Puck and Eva. But that required him to be alone. And so, he left; left to go home to think.

[janatm]

well ain't that the pot calling the kettle black || PUCKERBROS

tagging: Jake Puckerman & Noah Puckerman

date & time: October 19, 2024 in the late afternoon

location: Puck's house, in his living room

warnings: none!

summary: Jake needs a little guidance and advice and since no one else is availible he's trusting Puck with this. Ultimately it ends up being useful for them both, who'd have thought?

word count: 3,263

PUCK maybe wasn't always the smartest guy in the room but even he could tell something was up with Jake. Given that the only time his brother had mention Bree was when he told Puck she was with him in the PSU cafeteria, he was gonna make a wild guess it had something to do with her. While he had a fuck ton of his own shit going on, honestly, he could use the break to talk about literally anyone else, but especially his little bro. Sitting down next to him in the living room while Maya had his mom and Santana occupied in the back, he flicked Jake's ear. "Hey, why aren't you out back with everybody else, fucking up my lawn?" He asked with a smile, trying not to look too concerned.

JAKE had been more than relieved to shower, pack a bag, and then camp out at Puck’s. He had needed it after the absolutely fuckery at the cafeteria, and it was nice being around family. But after he’d sent out texts to the rest of the people he needed to check on, he found himself debating what to do about Bree. He’d tried asking Santana for advice, which turned into him sending that reply to Bree’s texts that came in, and he was expecting to be blocked but he didn’t know what else to do. Groaning when Puck flicked his ear, he shrugged. “I was…trying to think for a minute.” He half lied. “Honestly, how were you fucking around with two people at once? I have one and this relationship shit is stressful.”

PUCK laughed. "Don't hurt yourself." He said as he sat back and got comfortable. Completely unsurprised by this being about his relationship that, honestly, Puck didn't fully understand, he couldn't judge, he had just had a pretty intense moment with Eva and there's no way his relationship with her and Morgan make sense to anyone. Mainly because it doesn't even make sense to the three of them yet. "That whole situation blew up in my face because none of us bothered saying what we needed to say when we needed to say it and then when we tried none of us were listening to each other. Is that what's happening with you and Bree?" If there was anything he was learning about actively choosing to be in a relationship, it's that you have to talk to each other, often and honestly and you've gotta listen. Something Puck has never been all that good at, maybe it's genetic.

JAKE rolled his eyes at his brother's teasing. "Tell yourself that." He groaned. He didn't even know why he would want to get advice from his big brother about relationships when he'd fumbled a cowboy and a smoke show at the same time, but even the mother of his child; however, he couldn't talk to his lesbian besties about it. Puck was his only option really, so here they were. He nodded along as he explained what went wrong with the throuple, which had been kinda obvious that day in Professor Anderson's classroom, but he could see what he meant. "Sorta, maybe." He sighed. "Being in that cafeteria felt like the first time I really saw Bree around some of her friends, and I dunno, the vibes were weird. Bree cheered for Sue Sylvester and lived with that weird ass family as a teen, and the vibes between her and two of the sisters, or siblings or whatever, just rubbed me the wrong way. And then we argued about it, and I just..don't know what to do about that situation anymore."

PUCK listened to Jake explain what happened and tried to understand what the underlying issue was, because no way Jake was put off by his- by Bree having friends or people that she's close to. Maybe it's because when they were together the first time he was a secret, so Bree never had him around her people. Maybe he's feeling like thing aren't as innocent with these Sylvester siblings as Bree says they are. Is it insecurity? Puck was pretty well aquainted with the feeling so it was pretty easy to see in others. "Rubbed you the wrong way how? Like she's into them or something?" Truthfully, Puck didn't know much about the connection most of these PSU people had but he kinda knew about Bree and the Sylvester's because of Penny and Logan. "Are you feeling some kind of way because you weren't expecting to see her close to anyone else and you maybe thought only you got softness from her?" To be honest, that would have Puck feeling some kind of way too, imagining seeing Eva be soft and gentle and kind to people he doesn't even know would have him feel less... special.

JAKE took in his brother's questions and briefly thought it over, and he kinda had a point, to an extent anyways. "Bree being soft is rare as hell, but..I don't know. There was just something in my gut that told me to keep an eye on her and two of the Sylvesters, Joni and Sage. Bree was like too soft with them, especially Sage who's...wouldn't be my friend, but to each their own. Anyways, I couldn't figure out what was up with them, so when Bree was distracted, I took her phone. Went through her texts and I was right, about Joni anyways. Apparently they did have something going on about a month ago, and I don't know, maybe it's not really over? And instead of just asking her about it, I was kind of an asshole, which turned her into an asshole, and now I think we're broken up again." He groaned. "Why is this shit so complicated?"

PUCK barely knew who these people were and he's trying to figure out of Sage is the they/them or if that's Joni and Sage is the gym owner. He guessed it didn't really matter. Letting out a breath at his brother's confession, he could tell him that was an invasion of privacy and that now he can't even tell Bree why he felt how he felt without the whole conversation being about his going through her phone, but honestly, it didn't really seem like the point right now, so instead he chose to skip over that for now. "Wasyourgut telling you that or did you just wanna go through her phone to see who she was talking to? Scratch that." He sat up. "Why was your gut telling you it was more than friendship? I mean I get you thought she was being too chummy but I mean, you knew she was close to those people, it can't be that weird to you that she isn't icy with them like she is with everyone else. No offense." Was he was saying that to Jake he didn't know, part of him thought Bree would hear him and think he was talking shit and he did not wanna know what kind of clapback she had locked and loaded about him.

JAKE didn't like his brother interrogating him, but he also knew that this was just him trying to understand it, and help him figure out why he'd done it. It seemed like it made sense in is own head but trying to put it into words that didn't sound like he just had trust issues? Not exactly easy. Thinking over his conversations with Bree about that family, he tried to think back on whether or not she really went into details about her relationship with each sibling, and he shook his head. "She just always said they treat her like family, so that's what I thought. And I don't know them, but something has always seemed weird about those people, which is why I was never around when they were near her, so this was just like my first time seeing them altogether, you know? And I dunno, maybe I saw Joni checking out my girl and it triggered some shit?" He shrugged. "I didn't take her phone until after my gut said something was off. And that's the thing, Bree is cold with her own family, which I can kinda get, but I wasn't expecting to see her be that soft with these fucking weirdos. It was just unusual, bro."

PUCK took in everything his brother was saying and he understood where he was coming from. Not sure that was a good thing for Jake but at least it meant he wasn't judging. "Maybe these weirdos are more her family than her actually family and isn't it good that she has people or do you just want her to have you to lean on?" Just because he understood where Jake was coming from doesn't mean he understood every thought the man was having and he figured asking questions would help him understand his own thoughts and feelings too. "As for this Joni chick maybe checking Bree out, would you care if it were some other chick or dude or person checking her out or is it just because it's someone she's close to and don't know?" Again, he got it, when he had someone he got possessive and territorial too but he also knew that shit could start a lot of dumbass fights.

JAKE hummed as Puck threw out another alternative explanation for the dynamic with Bree and the Sylvesters, and it was starting to make his brain hurt trying to make sense of all of it. "No, no I want her to have people to lean on. And if it were just that, I would be more than okay with it. Her family sucks so she deserves to have people she sees like that and can depend on — even if I get weird vibes from them." Maybe none of this made sense and he was just being jealous, but his gut wasn't wrong so it seemed like it was making sense? He really didn't know. "I'd be pissed if it were anyone, doesn't matter who it is. And one of those texts Joni sent said she missed 'every part' of Bree so come on, bro, you know that shit is sexual." He huffed. "What if they've been messing around for years? Bree loves me but fuck, what if she loves Joni too? She can't even get past me cheating on her before, so what if she cheats this time? Or what if she can never trust me again and then I don't know, leaves me for her? I just don't know what to think, and I don't know where the hell we're supposed to go from here if we can't start trusting each other and move past all of this other shit."

PUCK figured it wasn't a Joni specific thing, because it really seemed like dude was just jealous anytime anyone looked a Bree a little too long. Then he continued talking and honestly, it all started making sense, and for shit to make sense to Puck it's gotta be mad obvious. But from what he could tell the real issue was baby bro is scared he isn't her first choice, that she'll find someone 'better' and leave him. It wasn't the exact same insecurity Puck had but it also wasn't that far off. At the end of the day neither one of them seemed to think they were the best choice for the people they wanted and while Puck tended to take himself out of the game, Jake was trying to take everyone else out. Unfortunately, his best piece of advice was also the simpliest and somehow also the hardest thing to do. "You're probably not gonna like this, but, um, has it ever crossed your mind to tell her all of that?" A pause. "Not saying it's gonna be easy, understanding other people's feelings never is but she loves you, so I gotta believe she'd wanna try and inderstand where you're coming from and you gotta try and understand where she's coming from too. That'll probably build more trust than anything else." Damn, was he good at this? Should he be giving out advice more. Fifteen years of being a dad, finally paying off.

JAKE didn't even know what his brother's real deal was with Morgan and Eva, and he at least knew that communication was an issue, but it wasn't like his brother told him anything beyond that. Santana had been mouthing off her own opinions but he didn't really know how accurate it was, but considering she was Maya's mom and he was starting to see what his niece inherited from both Puck and Santana, he assumed the Latina knew what she was talking about. But as he listened to his brother's advice, Puck seemed to be better at talking someone else through their problems than he did his own. "See, we try to talk, but then after a minutes or after an 'I love you' gets tossed out, we either fight or we fuck. And at this time point, I don't think either is helping. Neither is her constantly bringing up the cheating thing, which I have said sorry for and explained like ten times. I mean, how do you know when it's time to just accept that your relationship doesn't work and to give up?"a

PUCK wasn't really sure what to say to that. I mean that wasn't something he could determine for his brother. "That I can't answer. If you're ready to accept it and let it go then maybe that's when you know." That was really the best he could offer on that point but it wasn't all he had to say. "But you're focusing too much on her bringing up the cheating and no enough on why she's doing it. From what you've told me, y'all explained yourselves, you apologized, you said your 'i love you's' and you forgave each other. So if y'all managed all that, then why are you going through her phone so intensely you done got yourself pressed and upset over something someone else said to her a month ago and why is she still bringing shit up that she forgave you for? Y'all sound insecure and you're gonna have to put all this shit behind y'all if you wanna move forward." Leaning back he put his hands behind his head. "Personally I don't think dumping her and giving up is gonna fix shit because you gonna end up right back on my couch sulking and pissed that she went elsewhere after you and you're gonna act like it's proof that she was always gonna leave even though she didn't leave, you pushed her elsewhere. And imma say it now, I ain't gonna have any sympathy for you 'cause that'd be your own damn fault." Sighing, he sat back up again and looked at his younger brother. "Look, seems like you're in love with this girl, real legit love, that kind of shit that people search their whole lives for. So fight to keep it, fight to fix it. Don't give up on her or yourself. Tell her what you're feeling and tell her you need her to do the same because y'all aren't gonna be able to fix it unless you're both being open and vulnerable with each other." One day, he'll take his own advice.

JAKE sighed as he let Puck speak, deciding to just take it all in while trying to somehow process how the fuck he was even feeling. He didn't exactly want to give up on Bree, but every attempt to fix things seemed to keep blowing back on them so one could take it as a sign that they weren't quite meant to be. Or maybe the timing wasn't right? Or maybe it was the fucking lockdown? He didn't know, but as his brother kept going on and pointing out his and Bree's flaws, he furrowed his brows. Sure, he'd wanted advice, but now it just sounded like his brother was taking cheap shots since he'd opened up, unlike Puck had been doing. And again, his baby mama liked to talk, so he did have her take on it too. "Open and vulnerable, huh?" He repeated. "Like you, Morgan, and Eva?" Jake pointed out as he leaned back this time. "You're right. Maybe I shouldn't give up on Bree if I'm just gonna be here sulking, but pot, meet kettle. Your big tall, lanky ass has been sulking for weeks over Eva and Morgan — so badly that the mother of your child had to step in and do you a solid. She also said something about you getting it on during lockdown, so what? Is this you moving on or giving up?" He questioned, raising a brow as he looked over at his big bro. "You know, after I cheated on Bree and we broke up, I tried being like him. Figured the love shit wasn't worth it so why not just be like my dad, sleep with a bunch of random ass girls, not give a fuck about anyone else but myself. Didn't take long to realize that I'm not him, and I don't wanna be like him. That shit is fun at the time, and you bust a quick nut or two, but then you're the one sulking on your own couch while your teenager is texting her uncle and her mom telling us that you're not your usual self. That you're not as happy anymore. I know Maya doesn't know much of the specifics, but she's a smart ass kid who knows her dad. So maybe we should both take your advice and talk to the people we wanna be with, huh?"

PUCK wanted to clapback at his brother but he was too tired and the dude was right. He'd spend a dumb amount of time sulking, and Santana is right, it is pathetic and his kid is right, he needs to actually look through those therapy resources sitting on his desk and his mom is right that he needs help and his damn veteran's group is right than he needs to lean on his support system. So instead of being a dick to his little brother, he just nodded in agreement. "You're right, I've been giving you advice I ain't never taken a day in my life. Which is definitely proof that you should do what I say and not what I do." He said with a smile. "I'm lucky to have folks who wanna see me happy, who wanna see be be with the people I want and be the kinda man I wanna be. I'm even luckier that they'll help me with all that. Good new for you, little bro, those same people are gonna help you too and they're gonna be just as annoying about." That was the thing about family, it might not look the way you expected it to and if you went long enough without one it's probably tough to adjust to, but they're gonna be there and they're gonna be loud and opinionated and they're gonna love you whether you're ready for it or not. or maybe that was just the family Puck had, either way, they were Jake's family too now. "But I've already talked to one my mine and got plan to talk to the other one tomorrow morning. So maybe you try and undo whatever dumbassery is in those texts and have an actual conversation with your not girlfriend before you don't dump her. Fuck y'all are confusing."

[blckbarbree]

the way that we movin' is reckless, baby || BRAKE

tagging: Jake Puckerman ( @puckjake ) & Bree Brown

date & time: August 9, 2024

location: Puck's Place

warnings: jake being a drama queen and bree not communicating effectively

summary: What started off as a much needed conversation about the breakdown of their relationship turns into something that feels very final.

BREE never thought she'd be spending the night with Jake where the main objective wasn't sex. At least, not since they broke up. Even though they hadn't been alone alone, this still felt intimate. Being apart of his time with his niece, like she was family too. Between this and Jake going around implying he wants to marry her, Bree felt a surge of affection, of love, for her ex, and it made her furious and hopeful. It was confusing and as she sat on the couch, she waited for Jake to come back with some water for her. Maybe she was just dehydrated and that's why her brain was short circuiting every time she looked at him. As he walked back in, she smiled and took the water. "Don't get any ideas. We are not hooking up with your niece in the house." She said swinging her legs over his andbgetting comfortable.

JAKE was killing two birds with one stone here with Maya and Bree, which was kind of a relief. Defending himself lately and trying to convince his ex that he hadn't been doing anything other than hanging out with Puck and Maya was much easier now that the chatty teen could co-sign his story, and show Bree the embarrassing TikToks they'd made before deciding she needed to go talk to her friends. Grabbing Bree's water, Jake handed it over and flopped back down. "Babe, I wasn't gonna make a move while baby Puckerman is in the house. Give me some credit. I'm actually a great uncle." He laughed. "And besides, those texts the other day seemed...like you needed us to talk some shit out anyways."

BREE laughed as her ex praised himself for being a good Uncle. She wasn't going to bring up the fact that he'd only been one for a few weeks because seeing him and Maya together, she could tell he was actually having fun having a family. Plus, she had to agree, he was a pretty good uncle. Drinking some of the water she figured if he was gonna open the door for an actual conversation then she'd give it a try. Looking at him, she found herself moving into him a little more, bending her legs so she could scoot in a bit more. "I know we weren't..." A pause. "That I wasn't perfect but-" she just needed to ask it for fuck sake. "I didn't let you explain and so I've spent the last couple of months assuming the worst and I just need to know why you cheated on me. Even if it hurts to hear."

JAKE hated doing the whole talking thing when feelings and shit were involved, which he was sure he'd gotten from his mom and Gabe, but it had been almost four months since their break up and he decided that she deserved the truth — even if he wasn't fully ready to get into that whole thing. As soon as she started speaking, he sighed as he gently ran a hand along her thighs. "Neither one of us were perfect, but that's not what we expected anyways." He pointed out before exhaling a deep breath. "Being your secret, or on campus only, boyfriend was kind of fucked up. I ain't using that as an excuse, but being this boyfriend you couldn't post about, take around your folks, tell anyone who wasn't at PSU about wasn't easy to deal with. Especially when I had to see you out at your little events and shit with other lil' content dudes. I sucked that shit up as best as I could, but then it just started bothering me more and...I went to a party that one night, met some girl who didn't mind posting me on her Snap and shit, and I just let things go too far. Wasn't 'cause I didn't want you, but it was just nice to be with somebody who wasn't afraid to be seen with me like that."

BREE liked to think of herself as a rational and mature person. Generally, when people spoke she listened and processed to the best of her ability, asked clarifying questions if needed and nothing had to get out of hand. Unless, of course, her feeling were involved, in which case she was pretty damn immature about things and struggled to see different perspectives and actually listen to what's being said. Which is definitely why when Jake spoke, instead of hearing him she was just thinking of a retort. "So it's my fault? You knew what it was going to be when we got together, if that wasn't going to work for you, then you shouldn't have been with me." She was riling herselfup and she pulled awway from him a bit. "And you could've come to me, could have talked to me instead of 'sucking it up' and fucking the first bitch who posted you on her snapchat." She said, her voice slightly raised because she was still upset about all of this, more so than she thought.

JAKE had expected this sort of reaction from Bree, which was why it had taken him so long to get into this before. He knew the kind of pressure she was under to live up to her parents' bullshit wants for her, and he had known what he was getting himself into here yet he had still gone into this because he'd wanted her. He still wanted her, that hadn't changed obviously, but he was at least able to think about it more rationally than his ex. "I didn't say it was your fault, Bree." He pointed out, deciding to stay calm since them both getting worked up wasn't gonna help. "I know you, and I've heard you every single time you've complained about having to do whatever your parents want you to do. I know you're under a lot of pressure to be this perfect daughter that they want you to be, so that's why I didn't say shit. You had enough on your plate already so I didn't want to add to it." Jake shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "I fucked up, okay? It's not like I even wanted that girl, I just...I needed somebody to want me and to not be ashamed of being with me, even for just an hour or two. It was wrong, and I am sorry."

BREE was ready for things to escalate. That is what she had been prepared for. For him to say it was her fault and that she wasn't enough for him or that he got bored or he just didn't care. That he hadn't loved her or wanted her and most of all she expected him to get angry, maybe tell her to get out, but he didn't. He didn't say or do any of those things. Instead he was calm and it broke her heart. Not that he was calm but that he thought she had been ashamed of him because that was so far from the truth but how could he have known that? It just hit her in a wave and she didn't cry but she could feel tears welling up, all the same. Biting the inside of her cheek, she stopped those tears from falling. "I was never ashamed of you, Jake. I wanted you with me at every event and in every photo, every video but my parents they just, they didn't approve and I can't.... I can't disappoint them." She wiped at her cheeks where a tear had managed to escape. "I thought you just... didn't want me anymore. I didn't know I was hurting you. I'm sorry." It wasn't everyday Bree apologized, but she meant it.

JAKE furrowed his brows when he noticed Bree soften at his words, and while it hadn't been his intention, he was at least glad that she was receptive to what he had to say. Arguing and snapping at one another wasn't gonna get anything accomplished, and he noticed the way she was fighting back tears and could only nod along as she spoke. He had heard all of this before and while he did appreciate it, it wasn't gonna magically change anything either. "I know you can't disappoint them, which is why you disappoint yourself and the other people you care about instead." He pointed out, reaching a hand out and placing it on Bree's thigh, giving it a small squeeze. "Baby girl, there was never a moment when I didn't want you. I always did — I still do." He admitted before he was leaning in closer to his ex. "Look, I get that we weren't perfect, and that I made shit worse, but Bree, you can't think that I fucked up because I didn't want you. I fucking love you."

BREE had been holding it together pretty well considering how she actually felt. Neither one of them was the best when it came to just saying what they felt, but it was a particularly rare occurrence for Jake, who, for the most part, came off as a rather unserious man. But the tone of his voice, the way he was looking at her, she knew he meant every word he said and it was getting harder and harder to not just let every single wall down for him. To not just melt into him and let him hold her together. It would be so easy, it was always so easy with Jake. Then her brain processed exactly what he had just said and she felt her heart stop as she looked at him. Really analyzed his features, replayed the words in her head. He had never said that to her, I mean she thought - she hoped but he had never said it. God he was so close and he smelled good and he loved her. He fucking loved her. Leaning forward she closed the distance between them and did exactly what she said she wouldn't do again and kissed him. Before she knew it she was straddling him and her breathing was heavy when she finally pulled away. Her arms around his neck, she put her hands on his chest to give them some distance. "You've never said that to me. Why'd you say it now?"

JAKE hadn't meant to say it, not at all, but he also wasn't able to hold himself back with Bree. She knew him too well, even when he hadn't wanted her to, so there was no lying to her, and he'd hidden his true feelings for a while. Not intentionally, but it kinda took him a while to even accept it, and by then, he'd already fucked up and lost her — or so he'd thought anyways. He noticed her leaning in and he didn't move, deciding to let her make the moves here, though he still managed to inhale a small breath as she kissed him. His hands immediately went to her waist the second she was straddling him, and the heavy breathing only left him desperate for more. He was sure that his face showed just how disappointed he was that they'd needed air and had to pull apart. As soon as Bree asked the question, he was sure that he died a little on the inside yet again. "By the time I realized that's what I felt for you, it was too late. And it's not like you talk to me much aside from yelling at me and telling me to fuck off, or trying to make me jealous with that white boy, so I couldn't just tell you any other time." Jake sighed. "And I ain't say it now 'cause I want it to fix shit and we get back together right at this moment. I just needed you to know how I felt."

BREE lightly smacked his shoulder after his comment about Shep, but didn't comment, deciding to let him finish answering her question. Leaning in again, she planted a quick kiss on his lips. "In my defense, you're a very aggrivating person." She said playfully putting a hand around his neck before kissing him again. "And I'm not trying to do anything. I've told you, we're just friends." Again she kissed him and it was a dangerous game she was playing here. This was not a good position for her to let herself get into with her ex. Her ex who is an ex for a reason, it's just in this moment, she doesn't care why, because he loves her and she loves him. "I -" Uh oh, she wanted to say it back but when she tried the words just wouldn't come out. Instead, she just looked at him and contemplated hooking up and hoping he could just tell, but that was definitely not the right move. Or she could get off of him and leave because she never should have been here in the first place but that was also a hell no. "So now what?" She asked, opting to just hope it went unnoticed.

JAKE smiled as Bree kept planting quick kisses on his lips, deciding to just let her have her way...for now. "I only aggravate you because you want me." He teased, though they both knew it was true. It was also why she kept insisting that nothing was happening with Shep yet any time they were talking shit, she'd made a point to try and talk the dude up as if he were hitting it at all. "At one point you said he was tapping my ass, so which is it?" He asked, raising a brow as she eyed her. Not that it mattered either way, since she'd proven that even while intoxicated, Bree came to him, not to her little fake boyfriend. Staring at his girl's face, he could see the internal struggle going on between her mind and her mouth, and he just nodded. "I know, baby girl." Maybe he should have just challenged her to say it, but he wasn't in the mood now, and he figured she'd get there was she was ready. Moving his hands to her ass, he squeezed it firmly as he shrugged. "Any other time, I'd whip my dick out and tell you to strip and sit on it, but my niece is just one room away." Jake groaned. "But you can stay right here, and we can talk about the wedding your parents are gonna pay for in a few years. I'm sure you're gonna want something over the top, but I want an open bar, chicken sliders, maybe some fireworks, and Kendrick Lamar has to perform at the reception."

BREE wawnted to disagree and say he aggrevates her being he's annoying but it was be a lie he'd see through immediately, so what was the point? Besides, he'd just admitted to loving her and that earned him at least ten minutes of nice Bree time. "I just think there's a lot of tension between you two that could be alleviated by hooking up and if I'm there as a witness then it's a win/win." While her feelings for Shep might be what the public thinks they are, she does find herself attracted to that charming smile and southern twang. She wouldn't be mad at seeing two good looking men make out. Giving Jake a genuine smile as he let her off the hook for the whole, I love you, she felt her love for him grown. He understood her in a way no one else did and loved her anyway. It made her feel seen. Unable to hold back the giggle as he grabbed her ass and she scrunched her nose at his vulgarness and then before she even had time to say anything about it, he had her smiling again just to have her rolling her eyes two seconds later. "It's out wedding, not a Wendy's we're not doing chicken sliders. And I want Beyonce singing Halo as our first dance song, so if I can manage that then I can definitely get you Kendrick." Sighing as she snuggled into him, adjusting herself so she was sitting on his lap more comfortably. "But that's not what I mean, I mean what about us now?"

JAKE furrowed his brow's at Bree's suggestion, and he was sure she'd fallen and bumped her fucking head. "Is he gay? Cause I ain't, but even if I were gonna let some dude suck me off, it wouldn't be him." He huffed, and he couldn't even believe that Bree would suggest such an atrocious idea, yet of course she wanted to see it. "And you're one to talk. I see women flirting with you too, so why don't you bring one back to my place some time and give daddy a little show?" He suggested, and he was mostly just saying it to get back at her, but he wouldn't turn it down if she wanted to follow through. With the way she'd reacted the last time he'd mentioned their future wedding, he was at least glad to see that she could joke about it now, even if he fully meant that they were getting married in the future. "Listen, I don't want some fancy ass caviar or whatever you rich people eat, okay? It's my day too so I think we have to mix your bougie tastes with my...affordable ones. And sadly, I don't think Beyonce is taking wedding performance gigs unless you know her personally, which we don't." Jake pointed out. Locking his arms around her tighter, he didn't really have to think about her question before he was sighing softly. "As much as we both want this, I can't do the whole dating thing again until you're ready to stand up to your parents. It's not fair to either of us, and honestly, I just can't do that shit again."

BREE raised an eyebrow at Jake's protests and she wouldn't say it, but again she thinks both of them protest a little too much for there to be no tension at all but that could just be the smutty book reader in her. Rolling her eyes at his suggestion, she didn't even want to respond. "Because daddy hasn't earned a show." Which of course implied that he could, which maybe if they were 100% more stable in their situation she would maybe, possibly consider it. The use of 'we' was not lost on her and her heart kind of melted at the idea of them being a we again. "There's time, I could meet her and she could love me and be honored to sing Halo for us." Okay, so she wasn't actually delsional, as much pull as her parents had she doubted even they could make that happen, but truthfully so long as she's marrying the love of her life she doen't care. That's not true, she's going to be a bridezilla. She'll be lucky if she doesn't get left before the big day. Nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck as he spoke, she didn't love what he was saying but she understood. "And I don't trust you not to hurt me like that again and getting back into a relationship with you knowing that, wouldn't be fair to either of us either." Nervously biting on her bottom lip, she stopped and looked at him again. "So are we just.... friends?"

JAKE rolled his eyes right back when Bree didn't immediately agree with his suggestion, because of course she wouldn't. That would be too easy and Bree Brown didn't do anything easy. "But what I heard is that the option could potentially be on the table? Good to know." He nodded, figuring that was a little payback of his own. But they weren't in a place for a threesome regardless, so he wasn't going to dwell on it too much. he let her ramble off about Beyonce and just nodded in support of her delusion, knowing damn well that Beyonce would never make an exception for them, no matter what connections the Browns had. But they had years to pick out what they wanted for their wedding. Sighing when Bree mentioned him hurting her, he did agree there, and they weren't going to get any better without fixing their issues, so Jake was willing to be mature for once. "We're more than friends.." He hummed, squeezing her ass as he met her gaze. "It doesn't matter what we label this. We both know what we want, we just have some work to do so for...we're exes who are figuring things out." That probably sounded just as messy as their situation was, but he didn't care. "Let's just take this one day at a time?"

BREE would pout and maybe she did a little bit, but at least for now, they both knew a threesome was definitely not a good idea. There is no way she'd have fun in a threesome with Jake. Listening to her ex try and describe what they were to each other now, was slightly painful for her. It was just too loosey goosey, not enough certainties or boundaries. A part of her wanted to just make this a clean break like she had attempted in the first place, but well, we see how successful that was the first time. So, maybe there was a middle ground between cutting him off completely and sitting in his lap talking about their future wedding. "You know I'm not a take it one day at a time kind of girl, Jacob. I need clarity. So for the sake of clarity can we agree that we are not in a relationship. And even if we still have feelings for each other, we are free to date and sleep with who we like but maybe we just don't talk to each other about it."

JAKE being left to define or label what they were now was dangerous, given that he'd been the one to ruin an already fractured relationship anyways, and he could tell from Bree's body language that his words weren't what she was looking for. Not that it mattered much since the alternatives weren't great either, but he was open to other suggestions. Or he was until Bree tossed out an alternative he had at the bottom of the list, for obvious reasons. "Are you sure about this? "Cause you're the one who's always chewing me out about sleeping with other women, even when it's been weeks and the only person I've had sex with has been you." He hummed, though he was sure he'd probably get chewed out for that too. "And that's not really clarity. We just keep doing what we've been doing, but fucking other people too? And what if feelings for other people get involved too? We just..carry on?"

BREE was aware that her grilling Jake on his sexual exploits had less to do with her thinking he was out there fucking whoever, whenever and more of a projection because she was the one having sex with other people. She was also aware that her not wanting them to discuss who else they're sleeping with was because she didn't want him to know that she was out here fucking other people. Especially, Shep. For some reason, he specifically got under Jake's skin and she simply refused to believe that had anything to do with her. However, he was right. It wasn't really clarity, it was her way of getting everything she wanted. It was selfish but she also wasn't entirely sure what the solution was. "We're not together anymore. We're not getting back together. Isn't it normal that we see other people?" Truthfully, she had felt somewhat guilty the past few weeks and maybe she was looking to be absolved of that guilt. "We should stop this." She motioned between herself and her ex. "No more sex, no more flirting, no more making out, no more intimate moments. A real break up."

JAKE was slightly expecting them to work out some sort of condition that worked out well for them both, so his mouth went dry when Bree started talking and implied that they were completely over. Sure, she'd said this same stuff before, yet this felt different. The whiplash he was getting from her shifting from one decision to the next was even too much for him now. "Are you serious?" He huffed before he gripped her waist tighter and moved her off of his lap. "Fuck it, we're done." He decided as he stood up. "You can see yourself out. I'm sure Shep is probably waiting by the phone for you to call anyways, so have fun with that, and don't fucking show up at my place the next time you're drunk and horny for something other than a mediocre stroke game. You keep your distance, and I'll keep mine." Jake stated as he started to head for Maya's bedroom. "I'll tell my niece you said goodbye, now get out."

BREE kind of saw this coming. Eventually, maybe not tonight but at some point she was going to piss him off enough that's he'd be over it. She'd been punishing him since she found out he cheated. Felt entitled to do and say what she wanted to him to try and hurt him the way he hurt her. While she hadn't expected to manage that tonight, she did and unsurprisingly, it didn't feel good. Could she have tried talking to him, sure but if she had hurt him even a fraction as much as he hurt her then it would be pointless and likely just piss him off more. So she gathered what she had brought over, left her birthday gift for Puck on the table and pulled every ounce of strength she had not to turn around and beg. Once he was outside she felt a tear run down her cheek. And then another. And another. Already, she missed him and she wished she had been able yo say the words. To tell him she loved him. Just so he would know. But she hadn't and now she might never get to.

[omegasmileyface]

What’s :3 architecture like?

OK SO theyre unified more by ideals than physical similarities, which means theyre pretty diverse in lots of aspect, which shows up in their architecture. at its core, its just "ghost architecture":

floating shit (if you try to make areas in the nonsensical infinite realms apply to physics, the realms will fight back)

shared spaces (if you want to be alone youll live outside of a gathering or live in your lair. non-lair spaces are almost never private)

(as an extension of that last one i want to point out that many ghosts who live in cities will spend like half of their time OUTSIDE of it and just kinda wandering about bc like. its the infinite afterlife. they dont need to sleep. they do whatever they want. this is Certainly true among the youthful and creative and curious :3 people)

few doors - this is kinda mortifiedverse lore, but doors are pretty much restricted to lair entrances - and solid walls - theres very little weather. windows are empty, columns are frequent, etc.

death themes. there's more of it among the Glom Psu than the others but i think its so fucking funny how in canon everybody has skulls and bones and bats and shit all over everything so im keeping it

stuff that super does not go together. depending on how devoted a certain ghost is to a theme it could be from a typical suburban tudor house with a single pool of lava to an absolutely nonsensical collage of various home-and-non-home architecture

each :3 cultural group has trends that are common among them and of course they mix into the blend of the area but ill separate them here for the sake of background

uwu:

glassy windows. i know it contradicts what i swaid earlier but they have both empty and glassy windows. think about it. thats free sunlight. for laying in. this city DOES have sunlight btw even though they dont have a sun

tall structures with platforms on the inside and outside. like yknow those cat athletic structures. the planks on the walls that kind of thing. catwalks! those. i would kill for that.

treeeeees. with bark.

lairs often have their doors hidden away in hard-to-access crooks

complex tunnel-like system closer to the ground

big public hearths with short, wide brick walls around them. also for laying on.

shallow pools

glom psu:

bright colors!!! the ghost zone in general is known for bright colors but these guys have RAINBOWS. and BLACK AND PINK. and PATTERNS. outside every fucking building

a lot of like...... big victorian houses except with walls that are more open

a few ppl have "intradimensional" lairs that manifest as like normal houses with normal, barely non-euclidean doors.

wings are very common, on buildings and stuff

skate parks :) they have roads designed for skating in addition to floating, with soft curves and rails and shit

suburban-looking parks with brightly-colored, spiky playgrounds and elaborate gazebos

actually yeah just keep putting spikes on things. they dont particularly hurt though its fine. theyre like. gummy.

cafes! these guys love eating but mostly sweets.

i guess cafes isnt architecture huh. well. its mostly just floating, column-heavy, more open victorian houses. just in general these guys love that

eebydeeby:

the architecture itself is pretty varied , with neighborhoods mostly sticking to general aesthetics. look up any -core tag on tumblr and theres a place with architecture like that. you know every 2013 "what if everybody on tumblr lived/worked/went to school together" fandom/aesthetic separation? yeah. thats real when you die

more closed off areas (both lairs and non-lairs). tumblrinas value their privacy. that being said it frequently results in big houses shared between 5-6 individuals. these shared-house groups have a term for themselves loaned from Uwu: öwôw ówuv

curving, vertically-varied walking paths. tumblrinas dont float all that much

There Is A Tumblr University.

every block or so youll find a message board with paper and pens and pins and stuff available where people """""post""""" messages and respond to others and such. tumblrinas have a potent historical tradition of recorded, written, public gradual conversation

extremely varied building purposes. there are libraries. there are restaurants. there are movie theaters. there are karaoke houses. there are sex dungeons. (ghosts have sex if they want to.) there are buildings purely for thinking. theres a building where someone puts a single doodle of a cat in the center of the floor once a day. theres everything.

the lack of consistency in architecture shows how varied and active the eebydeeby are. they thrive on differing perspectives

[onereallygoodlambonastick]

Kevin Day’s Shitshow Arrival at PSU

when the rest of PSU is (unethically) alerted to the fact fucking Exy Celebrity kevin day is attending their school, people start being creepy and disgusting in a truly A+ manner

im talking hounding, stalking, privacy invasions, trespassing, etc

nowhere feels safe–not that if ever really did–but wymack’s apartment (and by extension the university campus) is kevin’s last refuge and even that is being taken away from him

kevin’s already at his limit coping with his newly broken hand and the twin threats of riko & the master looming over him

Breakdown Mania ensues. it gets to the point he won’t even leave his room at wymack’s place and bee & abby have to make several interventions so he doesn’t literally drink himself into a coma

this is a Very Bad Omen bc august is coming and that means classes is about to start and kevin has to move into the dorms at some point and 

InteractTM. you know, fulfill degree requirements to stay on the team

the Foxes have to come back to campus early and do tag teams to make sure kevin is getting where he needs to be (checking out textbooks, dropping off checks for tuition, etc). usually its matt and renee if not the monsters, since they know best how to throw down. seth gets forcibly enlisted by the coach at least once. he gets to punch a minimum of two people (excluding kevin) as a conciliation prize

andrew eventually gets to the crux of the matter by making examples of a few repeat offenders. whooped some stalker ass, trashed some phones, maybe flashed his knives more than legally allowed, 

also maybe threatened the entire student body by breaking into the campus announcement room and informing the school that if “kevin day sees one more fucking vermin he will call the local exterminator on sight. goodbye now. make sure to live a very short life”

andrew’s words, not mine

or the coach’s for that matter, but wymack can’t bring himself to be as pissed as he should be. bee’s somewhere taking notes like mad for future psychoanalysis. abby’s constantly hugging kevin

the Foxes really take to calling andrew a Monster now

people seem to get who, exactly, the “local exterminator” is. somebody eventually files a report. wymack holds off the university board from taking disciplinary action on andrew, citing the sheer volume of death threats and stalkers and other distressing violations that kevin day has had to cope with since coming to PSU as an valid motivation for andrew’s behavior. 

and how exactly do you account for the hostile environment the university and its students have created for him, Mr. President? andrew spoke out for his Friend and Very Important Team Member bc you rich fuckers wouldn’t

David now look me in the eyes and tell me i’m wrong Wymack

if the board try to strike andrew down they’d out themselves to anybody with half a brain just how concerned they are about kevin’s well-being

which would bring media vultures, national teams, and slightly more murderous Others down on them

it really doesn’t take much to smear PSU’s name in dog shit. and they’d never fully rinse their name clean again. they know this 

wymack and the Foxes know this

suffice to say, campus security increases, august rolls around fine, kevin can actually walk around again, and andrew is recognized as his Local Midget Protector 

[cinnamoncitric]

HC: Neil and Allison are besties

(I know Matt is Neil's best friend, but Allison is the closest girl-friend he has)

*apologies for the long ass post*

It started when Neil wanted to buy something for Andrew, so he went to the mall (he hates it, there's too many people)

It was one of those days when he had an itch to run, still, that little last thread of his paranoia tugging at him to just go, and he only realized it once he was trying to avoid a crowd

Turns out he runs into Allison, a desperate glint to his eyes and a panic attack clawing at his throat, only for her to roll her eyes, lock their arms together and order him to follow

She took him to a silent area, with less crazed customers (let's face it, she knows the mall like the back of her hand) and walked with him until he calmed down a bit

Later, they went to a sports store to look at exy items and workout clothes ("you look too much like you want to run for me to let you out of my sight, and now that I'm here I want to enjoy it")

They started bonding after exy from that moment, and left Andrew's present for another day (when Allison told Neil she was going to the mall, and might as well educate him in the art of shopping,

"if I let you go alone and you disappear Wymack's gonna kick my ass, let's go")

Neil respected her because of what she sacrificed for Exy and her talent on the court, as well as because of her sharp tongue, and not because of the way she looked (which was, for once, a relief)

She never sugar-coated her words or showed pity for him, and he liked that

Allison respected Neil because of his newfound honesty

("I don't have anything to hide from you anymore")

and for the way he rips the souls out of reporters and steps on them like they're nothing

IMAGINE THEIR POWER WHEN THEY DECIDED TO USE THEIR SHARP TONGUES ON SOMEONE

Reporters need psychological assistance after and interview with both of them

Their little trips to the mall became more or less frequent (anyone who approached them and made Neil uncomfortable would be ripped to shreds by Allison)

Allison picking clothes for Neil and trying to make him look like a decent human being while still trying to maintain the color schemes he felt comfortable in (and if he eventually started to like other colors as well, that was a victory)

Neil started to feel a little more comfortable around people and wearing other colors and Allison finally found a shopping buddy

Besides Andrew, she is the only one who can get feelings out of Neil on a regular basis

(Matt's too nice to ask, Renee knows it's not her business and never pushes, Dan is more captain than exceptionally close, Aaron doesn't give a flying fuck, and Nicky is oblivious)

She always asks him brutally and honestly, doesn't tend to back down when she knows it's important, and never shies away from honest answers, no matter how hard they are to hear

Neil let her paint his fingernails once, in exchange for extra hours of practice (he took it out almost immediately, but she has a picture on her phone to prove it)

His contact name on her phone is "Run bitch, run"

Her contact name is "Princess" (she put it on his phone and he never managed to change it)

"Neil, darling, if you ever try to run and I find out, I'm going to chase you in these amazing heels of mine. I'm gonna catch you. And then I'm gonna glue your feet to heels so high you are never taking another step in your life"

Allison dates Renee, which is Andrew's best friend (right?)

They go on double dates

(Allison still doesn't like Andrew yet, but she doesn't fear him and that's already a step)

Neil has a shit ton of information about make up that he is never going to need in his life

Neil decided to put his money to use and pay for a fox vacation for the girl's last year, Allison and Matt planned it with him (because boy has NO idea what vacation actually means)

Sometimes Nicky tags along to their shopping trips, and because of that Allison hates the monsters less and less every time

They kept shopping even after she left PSU, as a way to keep track of each other's lives

Whoever says something homophobic close to them just dug their own grave (especially after Andreil outs themselves and people try to give them shit for it)

Whenever Allison is angry, they play Scrabble and try to write as many cuss words and offensive phrases as they can (the most creative wins)

One day, Andrew came home to an expensive box with a post-it on top

"For Neil's scars, since the kid is incapable of taking care of himself"

Andrew puts the lotion on Neil every night and he never knew where exactly it came from

Neil helps Allison pick trip destinations and whenever she is traveling and can't communicate in the national language ("Have you ever been to Switzerland? "Oh, yeah, got shot there" "Cool, can you help me ask someone where the restroom is real quick?")

They have each other on speed dial

Their messages are actually a mess, there's Exy, double dates, make up talk, clothing Allison intends to buy, clothing she would never buy, gossip about celebrities ("Neil what the fuck do you mean with 'who's Lady Gaga?'")

Allison picked his wedding clothes and Neil payed for her wedding dress ("I have money Neil wtf" "You picked my clothes. I can't pick clothes, but I can buy them")

Whenever there is misogyny towards Allison, Neil kicks their asses verbally and physically (those boxing lessons with Matt paid off)

Basically, Neil respects her and validates her because of her actions instead of her appearance, and Allison helps him learn actual self care and they're both little shits that verbally destroy other people and support each other and I'm emotional bye

[eponinemylove]

AFTG First Impressions

If you haven’t read aftg just glaze right over this post because I’m bouta spoil some shit and this is something you need to experience for yourself if you ever read the series

OK so let’s talk about first impressions, because there are a couple of things I immediately assumed when I listened to the books (and yes I never read the series, I listened to them on audiobooks, this is important) that were just so far off from what ended up happening that I thought it would be funny to share them

I THOUGHT KEVIN AND ANDREW WERE AN ESTABLISHED COUPLE. Like it’s not even that I thought that Kevin and Andrew might be having sex, which I know a couple of y’all picked up on too and are in the same boat, I actually believed that Andrew was Kevin’s boyfriend and everyone knew this. I thought that it was common knowledge in the exy world that they were openly and publicly dating. The reason I assumed this was because, in the first fucking chapter, they’re described as 1) Kevin having switched to PSU for the short goalkeeper and 2) Kevin never went anywhere without Andrew. This is c a n o n okay, sounds like a relationship to me. moving on.

So again, I listened to this on audiobooks. The audiobooks were voiced by a man. For the first couple of chapters I thought that Aaron was Erin, and I didn’t exactly piece together that he was a guy? Or even that he was the same person? This is just me being a little slow, but for a solid part of the first half of The Foxhole Court, I kind of thought of Aaron as two separate people: Aaron and Erin. I knew that Aaron was Andrew’s twin in the back of my mind, but then I forgot to make the connection that Erin was anything more than a sort of secondary character (like how y’all be doing my boy Seth) so I was just rolling with everything pretty much until around the time that Neil went to Columbia (yes this is how long it took, shut up) and I sat straight up, paused the book, and realized that I was a huge dumbass and that Erin wasn’t a fucking character at all, that I was thinking of AARON, who was the second short blonde maniac and not the maybe-female player that just chills with Andrew’s crowd

Also just me misunderstanding, but when they talked about going to Columbia pretty often I was like oh?? Oh shit. Y’all just be flying down to Columbia every other week, no problem? And then it’s mentioned that they’re from Columbia and i’m there like on god??? I though y’all were white? Ok I see you. It wasn’t until they were actually in the car driving I realized that they meant Columbia, South Carolina and not the country

Also a really minor thing but I thought Nicky was spelled Nicki. This wouldn’t have really changed anything, I just think that Nicki is a more feminine spelling and I was kinda excited about that being his name until I realized that realistically it wasn’t very likely. 

I definitely though that Kevin was going to be Neil’s love interest. He was the one who flew down to Millport to get Neil!! He was the one who decided they have to have him!! In the book’s summary or blurb or whatever it’s called, Kevin is the one Nora is vagueing about, his mysterious friend from the past who might jeopardize Neil’s whole secret but who he’s inexplicably drawn to!! And then I meet Andrew, again who I thought was Kevin’s established boyfriend, and I’m like ???? Is Neil going to have to break them up? Andrew isn’t going to like Neil very much. What’s happening

Ok no tea no shade, BUT. I mean honestly no offense, but how did y’all not pick up on Andreil? Look I KNOW I just said I thought Neil/Kevin was endgame. After like chapter 6 I realized my folly. Kevin was over here getting NO screen time, while Andrew was getting a lot of focus? Which isn’t exactly what pushed me over, but it got me reevaluating. And then Columbia happened and a bunch of other shit but—ok, do y’all remember the scene towards the end (I think) of The Foxhole Court? Chapter 14? I’ll quote it for you: 

“A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil’s back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn’t budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Neil couldn’t remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. It was terrifying and liberating all at once. His life was out of his control now; he was giving it up to Andrew and hoping Andrew would keep it safe.”

THAT SHOULD’VE BEEN YOUR FIRST MF CLUE. This is the exact moment I realized that Neil was going to end up catching feelings for Andrew, and, let’s be real, I’d already began to assume that Andrew would return them, because obviously. Look at everything that’s happened so far. He’s bought this boy clothes, kept his secrets, adopted him into his family, offered to fight off the mafia for him and??? otherwise completely obsessed over him thus far. The chemistry was there.

I think this pretty much goes without saying but I thought that first night at Columbia would’ve had a much bigger role than it did? Nicky literally kissed Neil against his will while Neil was roofied, and then the next thing Neil knows he’s waking up in bed with Nicky the next day? And sure he freaks out in the moment and for the next couple of days, but there isn’t a whole lot of follow through after that. It’s talked about a few times and then just... never again. I really thought that that would’ve torn a much bigger hole in Neil and Nicky’s relationship than it did

Do you know how much bullshit Andrew’s coming out scene was from my perspective??? Please refer back to the top of this post where I mention that from the first chapter of the first book and one of the first descriptions of Andrew Minyard that we get, I thought this boy was out and proud and dating Kevin Day. And then for Renee to have to break it to Neil in the SECOND BOOK that not only is Andrew not straight, but that no one else knows this about him, I about lost my shit. And then the scene sometime earlier where Kevin is advising Neil that if he is gay to stay in the closet bc it’s easier for pepople to think Neil’s straight??? As if deep down we all don’t know that Kevin himself is a raging bisexual?? Nora, I hate to tell you this, but no one was assuming that your characters are straight. I appreciate you calling out heteronormativity, but I can assure you that was absolutely not the case in your books.

I didn’t like Jean at first. I can admit it. I thought that he was one of Kevin’s asshole ex-teammates who wanted him to come back to the nest, and if not than he’d make him miserable. I have done a complete 180 and I love and respect Jean Moreau so much more now that I understand his character, but that was my initial assumption and I’m not proud of it

Alright I think that’s about it for this post. Feel free to add on with some of your first impressions from aftg, or if you make a separate post tag me in it!

[exyjunkies]

how the light gets in

Written for Andreil Week, day 5: stadium lights | read on ao3

→ In which Neil thinks it’s a good idea to come back. Andrew agrees – after all, it’s not as if he’d be going back alone.

“You know, in all the years I was here, I never actually did this before.”

Andrew hummed, letting himself listen to the wistfulness in Neil’s voice.

“That’s because you were too busy playing until your tiny junkie heart was close to giving out.”

He felt Neil squeeze his hand lightly, acknowledging the tease. On a blanket that Andrew had the foresight to bring, they were lying down in the center of Palmetto’s Exy court, staring up at the bleachers, at the plexiglass walls and ceiling. Every stadium light was on, showcasing the full orange-and-white of the court.

Andrew had been iffy about the idea of lying down in the middle of a court they used to play on, but now, he didn’t mind it one bit.

It was Neil’s sudden burst of nostalgia that sprung this into an idea – with the both of them in the US Court, they barely had any time for anything but the present. No going back on old memories, no planning for the future. There were many demands that came with playing for the national Exy team, so they vowed to spend this vacation not focusing on these demands.

(Most of which, Andrew had to admit, were not his cup of tea. After years of being on the national team, he can (kind of, sort of, to some extent) admit that being a goalkeeper is a lot more bearable than before, but he did not live for the celebrity lifestyle. Neil, of course, thrived on being able to play Exy and that alone. So on some level, they both did not care for the fame.)

Their head coach had allowed them to take a few weeks off and go back to Palmetto State with the promise that they take a few pictures and post it on their social media accounts for good PR. He had specific instructions for Andrew to post at least something, simply because his being inactive wasn’t going to stick as his reputation forever. Their PR manager, Alex, had been flooding their phones this morning, despite Andrew’s warning that annoyance will not be tolerated. Neil, thankfully, had put a stop to this by posting a picture of Andrew out on the balcony of the Columbia house.

As expected, their fans had received the photo with gusto, with some famous Exy players from other countries wishing them well, along with a few comments pouring in from the other Foxes themselves. Andrew hadn’t asked to be tagged in the photo, because he had decided a long time ago that notifications were annoying. Still, it wasn’t avoided that Neil showed him all the ones he thought he’d find amusing. Of all the feedback, the only one Neil replied to was Aaron’s thumbs up emoji – he had typed in a “hopefully u still recognize him when we get back” and hit send, ruffling Andrew’s hair lightly after he did so.

Now, Andrew turned his head a bit to stare at Neil, blinking a few times to check if he was dreaming. The striker had an awestruck look on his face, as if he was seeing the Foxhole Court’s lights for the first time. Realizing he never got to see Neil’s actual first reaction to seeing PSU’s court for the first time, Andrew quietly observed the softness of Neil’s smile, the way his other hand was pillowed under his soft auburn hair, the calmness in his breathing, the movement of Neil’s thumb up and down his forefinger as they held hands.

“Staring.”

Rolling his eyes, Andrew turned his head back to the lights. He did his best to channel the blush on his face back to the bottom of his system.

“Oh, shut up.”

Beside him, Neil laughed, a genuine one, full of life and promise, and Andrew felt his heart skip a beat. Hearing Neil laugh, like really actually laugh was the breath of fresh air he needed all along. All these past weeks, Neil had been missing something, and Andrew heard it in that laugh. That stability. That contentment. That happiness.

Then, Andrew felt Neil remove his hand from his. He frowned a little at the disappointment that he felt well up inside of him. Neil propped himself up beside Andrew, a questioning look on his face.

“Yes or no?”

Andrew raised an eyebrow. He put an arm under his head to prop himself up a bit and shoot Neil a look. “Really? Here?”

Neil rolled his eyes, the smile not leaving his face. He poked a finger into Andrew’s hip. “Dummy. Just answer the damn question.”

“God. Fine. Yes.”

Shifting nearer to Andrew, Neil wrapped an arm around Andrew’s torso and nuzzled his neck. He lifted a leg and put it over Andrew’s legs.

Into Andrew’s neck, Neil murmured, “Mmm. Better. Not quite what you were expecting, huh? You horndog.”

Andrew scoffed at the implication. Still, he moved his other arm up and over Neil, prompting the taller man to move closer. Instinctively, he started playing with Neil’s hair. There was no way he was ever going to tell Neil, but Andrew always thought he looked good with any hair color, even after he found out Neil’s original hair color was auburn. It was both a blessing and a curse.

“You’re not always one to cuddle, anyway.”

“This place is sacred. Wouldn’t think of doing anything un-sacred in it, ever.” Neil punctuated his ever by poking Andrew’s cheek, withdrawing his finger at the exact moment Andrew tried to bite it. “Too slow, asshole.”

Insults as terms of endearment. In thinking that it wasn’t possible for him to love this man even more, Andrew is once again proven wrong.

Closing his eyes, Andrew thought of everything that has lead up to this point. From his freshman year of college, back he knew nothing about what he was going to do with his life, to his life now – his ninth year as an Exy goalkeeper, his fifth year with the US Court, his third year as a pet-owner, his eighth and counting year with Neil. What Andrew felt about it all was inexplicably heavy, as if he couldn’t believe just how much had to happen for him to get here.

Understandably, Andrew didn’t like thinking about how life was before Neil. That part of him was safely locked away in a box in the corner of his mind. The nightmares about past trauma are now few and far between. Every once in a while, he remembers punching Neil out of the bed, or being woken up by Neil shoving a hand up his pillow to check for a gun. It was alternating between Neil sporting a black eye, or Neil waking up in a sweat because he was so fucking scared. Now, after years of experience have led to him being used to waking up and having Neil still asleep beside him, not an empty bed because Neil had to go sleep on the sofa.

He wondered if this was how Aaron felt about Katelyn all those years ago. If this was the feeling he was so against, if this experience was what he majorly disapproved of before and after his sobriety. The time he flew to Arizona to talk to Aaron about this flashed through his mind.

Are things with that cheerleader are still ongoing?

Andrew. You know this. You know we’ve been married for— for God knows how long.

I know.

Then why are you here?

For confirmation purposes.

And what are you confirming, exactly?

The existence of the both of you in my universe.

Aaron’s jaw had dropped a little. Then (and Andrew will never, ever let himself forget this) he had actually grinned. It was a weird twin thing, because now Andrew knows how he’d look like if he ever smiled with teeth. Afterwards, the rest of the conversation was more of Aaron forcing Andrew to apologize to Katelyn, but Andrew had strongly refused. He had felt like he had done enough character development that day.

(With enough of Aaron’s insistence though, mending things with Katelyn had come a little later.)

Andrew was jolted out of his train of thought by Neil’s lips lightly pressing against his jaw. A kiss, but not quite. Still, Andrew felt the sensation throughout his whole body. It was almost enough to make him shiver.

“Hey.”

“What, Neil.”

“Your thinking is very, very loud.”

“And you’re rude for interrupting.”

“Care to share with the class?”

“What class? I only sense one very, very annoying student.”

Neil smiled against his neck. He kissed Andrew again, this time long enough for the action to register itself into Andrew’s system twice over. “And what about it?”

“Hmm. How about I get a head start on that very unsacred activity you were planning on avoiding.”

Sex on the Foxhole Court would be uncomfortable, not to mention embarrassing if they were caught, but it could work. The logistics wouldn’t be difficult for the both of them. And if Neil was in the mood, then—

“Maybe later. I’m sleepy.” Neil mumbled, pressing another light kiss to Andrew’s jaw. Andrew heard the fatigue in Neil’s voice, and it was enough to make him a little drowsy.

“Mm. Go ahead.”

“But you have to tell me about,” Neil paused, as if thinking about which words to use, “about your thoughts.”

“It’s not anything you don’t already know.”

“It’s also obviously not about me being pretty, so…”

Neil trailed off, forgetting to complete his thought. The moment passed, and Andrew gradually felt the both of their heart beat in sync. The lights above them seemed to be a little dimmer, and, while Andrew wished he had the more advanced foresight of bringing a pillow, he didn’t think there was any other place he’d rather be.

Then, Neil trailed his hand up, up, until he was holding Andrew’s face softly.

“Nothing bad, I hope?” His whisper held the slightest tinge of worry, loud enough to reach Andrew’s ears. Andrew felt Neil’s fingers caress his cheek a bit, and Andrew felt something tighten in his chest.

Even after Andrew put all his defenses down, Neil still had it in him to be careful. No matter how strong he acted, Neil saw through the act each and every time. He thought about how nobody else would ever treat him like this. About how he would never have this with anybody else. It scared him a little.

Okay, maybe it scared him a lot.

“Oh, ‘Drew,” Neil said with a little bit of urgency, sitting up and holding his hand on Andrew’s cheek. Which had ended up being a little wet by Andrew’s tears.

Andrew can’t even tell when he had started crying.

“It wasn’t anything bad, I swear,” Andrew replied, sitting up too, taking Neil’s hand off his face and drying his tears on his sleeve. He had been overwhelmed. That’s all.

Neil, ever the worrywart, wasn’t convinced by it. “You sure?”

The worry in his tone was enough that Andrew wasn’t sure. “Yeah. I just—”

Pausing, Andrew gave the opportunity what it deserved and took in all that was around him. The awareness was calming, a steady hand to hold. There are always going to be moments like this, he realized. He closed his eyes, stilled himself, and opened them again. With this, Andrew looked at Neil, as in really looked at him, and saw him for who he was.

“I was just,” he began, and Neil prompted him by holding his hand, “thinking about life. How much has happened.”

Then, after taking a deep breath, Andrew continued, in a bit of a rush, “How I never got to thank you.”

Neil exhaled and shook his head, the relief enough to wash over Andrew himself. Then, he took Andrew’s face in both hands and put their foreheads together. Neil closed his eyes and cleared his throat a bit.

“Well, we have the rest of our lives for that now, don’t we,” Neil murmured, and after Andrew closed his eyes and nodded his reply, Neil curled a hand around the back of Andrew’s neck and put his lips to Andrew’s.

It seemed like every kiss with Neil was something Andrew needed to catalog. There were heated kisses, and playful kisses, and short kisses that said see you later, and kisses that led towards something more. This one, though. This one was more special than all the others. It was close-mouthed, chaste, but in that moment, it was everything. 

And for a brief moment, Andrew saw their entire life together flash before his eyes.

Andrew hitting Neil with a racquet in the ribs. How Andrew saw something in Neil despite being drugged to within an inch of his life. How Andrew seemed to hate Neil, and Neil had actually hated Andrew for a bit, because of what he did at Eden’s Twilight. The hatred that wasn’t really quite what Andrew thought it to be. The trauma that both of them had already gone through, still coming back to haunt them. Andrew and Neil recognizing that what they had was a-thing-but-not-really-a-thing. Andrew and the Foxes almost losing Neil. The Butcher dying, and Neil making a full recovery. Riko getting shot in the head. The Moriyamas giving Neil his life in exchange for money. Andrew and Neil graduating PSU. Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and King Fluffkins. The US Court. A whole lifetime together, ahead of them.

It was the full-blown realization that a lot of their life together was like that: not really the whole experience, but everything anyway.

 Andrew kissed back, enough to tell Neil what he couldn’t really say, and let himself go.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

have 8 million things to do very soon and I can tell that I'm riiiiiight on the edge of a depression spiral (which is itself at least partly caused by being overwhelmed, dealing with it poorly and becoming more overwhelmed, and hating myself for dealing with it poorly) which is SUPER GREAT TIMING. so obviously I'm making a list, because sometimes that helps.

things I absolutely must do this weekend:

finish the hair repaint on my current Etsy order so I can mail it Monday or earlier

do anything I might need to do for the other outstanding order that the customer also wants in time for Christmas somehow, so that when the parts arrive on MONDAY I can put the thing together and mail it almost immediately (damn well better show up on Monday, which is itself irritating because the site said free 2-day shipping but nobody really means that when they ship to Alaska)

wrap and prepare any gifts I want to mail out because I should also send those no later than Monday, and in fact earlier would have been better, but for some reason every year I'm like "eh, it's fine, there's time" right up until there suddenly isn't

do...whatever I still need to do with Tumblr. import to Wordpress, back up the whole thing to my computer with one of several methods I've reblogged, try to find specific posts I want to save (original posts and anything tagged "fic ideas" will be tedious but at least easy to find; no idea about other stuff)

semi-related: add something to my Dreamwidth profile so it's not...blank

haul some more stuff to Value Village and other donation sites, because I’m about to pick up a bunch of shit that will take up too much space in my car (somewhat related: books, music, movies, and toys are 40% off today and tomorrow, which is unusual for them)

set up the damn tree, like even if we don't put ornaments on it I'd at least like to have the tree up (requires digging it out of the garage, which is a disaster and very much not my disaster)

do something with my dad and sister for my birthday (but first, figure out what and when, and like...I don’t have the mental energy for that)

try to get more birthday donations for SPLC (I went with Trevor Project last year and got several donations without doing much to promote it, so I don't know if this one's getting a lot less because it seems more political, or algorithms are hiding this and a lot of my other posts, or a lot of people have deliberately snoozed me because of my political posts, or...something else, idk)

transfer stuff into my new planner, because my current one is close enough to the end that it's not very useful anymore

other things that don't necessarily have to happen this weekend but should happen in the really near future, both because they need to get done and because they're contributing to my overall mental load that means everything is overwhelming:

figure out how to send in the claim for my car accident last year to my life-insurance-and-a-few-other-things company, because it's worth $50 (should probably also see if I can get something similar for the earthquake, because I think it did fuck up my neck a little more, and $50 is $50 when I'm paying them that much each month)

list other things on Etsy...now that it's too late to take advantage of holiday sales 😖

sign up for actual training with Hazy

also, bug the rescue group again about recent vet info to figure out whether she has any pre-existing conditions and when she needs a checkup (maybe soon, because she seems to scratch herself a LOT and sometimes she gets kind of wheezy)

also also, try to figure out ways to work on her separation anxiety and general hyperness, which I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO because it's all a gradual process that I don't really have time for, and I have yet to find a smart/puzzle toy or a good chew toy that really seems to occupy her attention so I guess I still need to try more, and apparently mental stimulation through training can be good for anxiety and hyperactivity both so I should really be working on extremely basic commands on my own probably??

shit that's right I also need to figure out if I want to get her on VCA Care Club and do research for pet insurance that might be better than the one we had for Scully

get myself back into a better Planet Fitness habit, because I didn't go at all this week and I've definitely dropped off in the last few weeks, which is partly because I've been busy with other things INCLUDING THE GIANT EARTHQUAKE but partly because the main reason I was good about it before was that I literally tricked myself into wanting to work out so I could listen to The Adventure Zone, and once I caught up on that, nothing else I've tried (MBMBAM, occasional TAZ updates, Night Vale) has quite filled the gap of "hilarious goofs + suspenseful long-form narrative" that makes me actually want to work out, so...either I need to figure out how make myself go without that motivation (mixed success so far or I wouldn't be talking about it or feeling guilty about it) or find another podcast I want to binge. and try to figure out if there's any point to asking them to stop playing so many news channels (especially Fox two or three times and fucking OAN once) at the TV bank for the cardio machines, because that is...honestly another thing that makes me not want to go

related: somehow find a way to make myself do my core exercises regularly, because slacking on those and slacking on Planet Fitness is probably part of the reason my headaches and neck and general constant exhaustion have maybe been worse lately, AND ALSO start regularly doing the exercises that are supposed to help with my newish hand/wrist pain, all of which sucks because a big ol' theme here is me having a hard time forming un-fun new long-term habits (exercise, going to bed earlier) that are crucial for improving basically every part of my life and not worsening the health problems i already have

TYPE UP MY DAMN NOTEBOOKS and organize everything so I actually know how much I have in my current WIPs; now that my computer is back there's no excuse for not doing this

also like...write. in general. now that I have a Christmas-related idea I'd kinda like to do and I also want to do a Yuletide treat, and maybe Avengers: Endgame isn't really a deadline for lots of other fics but also it kind of is

actually organize my backups so they're not a disaster and it's not a crisis next time I have computer problems (plus like, I'm going to need everything backed up when I upgrade)

research and buy a CPU, motherboard, SSD, and maybe new PSU, ideally without spending a horrendous amount of money

make more progress in SWTOR because there's no guarantee how long it's going to be around and tbh it's ridiculous I haven't finished all the class storylines despite having been a subscriber for like. SEVEN YEARS

unfuck my iTunes library YET AGAIN

find a therapist, because I've probably been needing one for a while but a huge theme in all of this is being overwhelmed because I have too much to do and don't know how to deal with it, and then getting into guilt and self-loathing because I dealt with it badly and it got worse, and I'm increasingly sure it's my not-really-diagnosed-or-treated ADHD starting this old, old cycle to begin with and that means it's even more important to find a therapist who will actually. do stuff. with the ADHD. instead of just kinda...dropping it.

slight problem though, adding yet another regular appointment means less time for...everything else and that doesn't exactly help with being overwhelmed, so it's like...a disincentive to pursue it

the only thing I really want to do:

sleep for about a year

[cutevirgo]

so was anyone gonna tell me calum changed his ig profile to one of the cutest sokka pictures or was I just supposed to find that out myself after seeing his post of silly bathroom stall pictures

[puckhq]

well ain't that the pot calling the kettle black || PUCKERBROS

tagging: Jake Puckerman ( @puckjake ) & Noah Puckerman

date & time: October 19, 2024 in the late afternoon

location: Puck's house, in his living room

warnings: none!

summary: Jake needs a little guidance and advice and since no one else is availible he's trusting Puck with this. Ultimately it ends up being useful for them both, who'd have thought?

word count: 3,263

PUCK maybe wasn't always the smartest guy in the room but even he could tell something was up with Jake. Given that the only time his brother had mention Bree was when he told Puck she was with him in the PSU cafeteria, he was gonna make a wild guess it had something to do with her. While he had a fuck ton of his own shit going on, honestly, he could use the break to talk about literally anyone else, but especially his little bro. Sitting down next to him in the living room while Maya had his mom and Santana occupied in the back, he flicked Jake's ear. "Hey, why aren't you out back with everybody else, fucking up my lawn?" He asked with a smile, trying not to look too concerned.

JAKE had been more than relieved to shower, pack a bag, and then camp out at Puck’s. He had needed it after the absolutely fuckery at the cafeteria, and it was nice being around family. But after he’d sent out texts to the rest of the people he needed to check on, he found himself debating what to do about Bree. He’d tried asking Santana for advice, which turned into him sending that reply to Bree’s texts that came in, and he was expecting to be blocked but he didn’t know what else to do. Groaning when Puck flicked his ear, he shrugged. “I was…trying to think for a minute.” He half lied. “Honestly, how were you fucking around with two people at once? I have one and this relationship shit is stressful.”

PUCK laughed. "Don't hurt yourself." He said as he sat back and got comfortable. Completely unsurprised by this being about his relationship that, honestly, Puck didn't fully understand, he couldn't judge, he had just had a pretty intense moment with Eva and there's no way his relationship with her and Morgan make sense to anyone. Mainly because it doesn't even make sense to the three of them yet. "That whole situation blew up in my face because none of us bothered saying what we needed to say when we needed to say it and then when we tried none of us were listening to each other. Is that what's happening with you and Bree?" If there was anything he was learning about actively choosing to be in a relationship, it's that you have to talk to each other, often and honestly and you've gotta listen. Something Puck has never been all that good at, maybe it's genetic.

JAKE rolled his eyes at his brother's teasing. "Tell yourself that." He groaned. He didn't even know why he would want to get advice from his big brother about relationships when he'd fumbled a cowboy and a smoke show at the same time, but even the mother of his child; however, he couldn't talk to his lesbian besties about it. Puck was his only option really, so here they were. He nodded along as he explained what went wrong with the throuple, which had been kinda obvious that day in Professor Anderson's classroom, but he could see what he meant. "Sorta, maybe." He sighed. "Being in that cafeteria felt like the first time I really saw Bree around some of her friends, and I dunno, the vibes were weird. Bree cheered for Sue Sylvester and lived with that weird ass family as a teen, and the vibes between her and two of the sisters, or siblings or whatever, just rubbed me the wrong way. And then we argued about it, and I just..don't know what to do about that situation anymore."

PUCK listened to Jake explain what happened and tried to understand what the underlying issue was, because no way Jake was put off by his- by Bree having friends or people that she's close to. Maybe it's because when they were together the first time he was a secret, so Bree never had him around her people. Maybe he's feeling like thing aren't as innocent with these Sylvester siblings as Bree says they are. Is it insecurity? Puck was pretty well aquainted with the feeling so it was pretty easy to see in others. "Rubbed you the wrong way how? Like she's into them or something?" Truthfully, Puck didn't know much about the connection most of these PSU people had but he kinda knew about Bree and the Sylvester's because of Penny and Logan. "Are you feeling some kind of way because you weren't expecting to see her close to anyone else and you maybe thought only you got softness from her?" To be honest, that would have Puck feeling some kind of way too, imagining seeing Eva be soft and gentle and kind to people he doesn't even know would have him feel less... special.

JAKE took in his brother's questions and briefly thought it over, and he kinda had a point, to an extent anyways. "Bree being soft is rare as hell, but..I don't know. There was just something in my gut that told me to keep an eye on her and two of the Sylvesters, Joni and Sage. Bree was like too soft with them, especially Sage who's...wouldn't be my friend, but to each their own. Anyways, I couldn't figure out what was up with them, so when Bree was distracted, I took her phone. Went through her texts and I was right, about Joni anyways. Apparently they did have something going on about a month ago, and I don't know, maybe it's not really over? And instead of just asking her about it, I was kind of an asshole, which turned her into an asshole, and now I think we're broken up again." He groaned. "Why is this shit so complicated?"

PUCK barely knew who these people were and he's trying to figure out of Sage is the they/them or if that's Joni and Sage is the gym owner. He guessed it didn't really matter. Letting out a breath at his brother's confession, he could tell him that was an invasion of privacy and that now he can't even tell Bree why he felt how he felt without the whole conversation being about his going through her phone, but honestly, it didn't really seem like the point right now, so instead he chose to skip over that for now. "Wasyourgut telling you that or did you just wanna go through her phone to see who she was talking to? Scratch that." He sat up. "Why was your gut telling you it was more than friendship? I mean I get you thought she was being too chummy but I mean, you knew she was close to those people, it can't be that weird to you that she isn't icy with them like she is with everyone else. No offense." Was he was saying that to Jake he didn't know, part of him thought Bree would hear him and think he was talking shit and he did not wanna know what kind of clapback she had locked and loaded about him.

JAKE didn't like his brother interrogating him, but he also knew that this was just him trying to understand it, and help him figure out why he'd done it. It seemed like it made sense in is own head but trying to put it into words that didn't sound like he just had trust issues? Not exactly easy. Thinking over his conversations with Bree about that family, he tried to think back on whether or not she really went into details about her relationship with each sibling, and he shook his head. "She just always said they treat her like family, so that's what I thought. And I don't know them, but something has always seemed weird about those people, which is why I was never around when they were near her, so this was just like my first time seeing them altogether, you know? And I dunno, maybe I saw Joni checking out my girl and it triggered some shit?" He shrugged. "I didn't take her phone until after my gut said something was off. And that's the thing, Bree is cold with her own family, which I can kinda get, but I wasn't expecting to see her be that soft with these fucking weirdos. It was just unusual, bro."

PUCK took in everything his brother was saying and he understood where he was coming from. Not sure that was a good thing for Jake but at least it meant he wasn't judging. "Maybe these weirdos are more her family than her actually family and isn't it good that she has people or do you just want her to have you to lean on?" Just because he understood where Jake was coming from doesn't mean he understood every thought the man was having and he figured asking questions would help him understand his own thoughts and feelings too. "As for this Joni chick maybe checking Bree out, would you care if it were some other chick or dude or person checking her out or is it just because it's someone she's close to and don't know?" Again, he got it, when he had someone he got possessive and territorial too but he also knew that shit could start a lot of dumbass fights.

JAKE hummed as Puck threw out another alternative explanation for the dynamic with Bree and the Sylvesters, and it was starting to make his brain hurt trying to make sense of all of it. "No, no I want her to have people to lean on. And if it were just that, I would be more than okay with it. Her family sucks so she deserves to have people she sees like that and can depend on — even if I get weird vibes from them." Maybe none of this made sense and he was just being jealous, but his gut wasn't wrong so it seemed like it was making sense? He really didn't know. "I'd be pissed if it were anyone, doesn't matter who it is. And one of those texts Joni sent said she missed 'every part' of Bree so come on, bro, you know that shit is sexual." He huffed. "What if they've been messing around for years? Bree loves me but fuck, what if she loves Joni too? She can't even get past me cheating on her before, so what if she cheats this time? Or what if she can never trust me again and then I don't know, leaves me for her? I just don't know what to think, and I don't know where the hell we're supposed to go from here if we can't start trusting each other and move past all of this other shit."

PUCK figured it wasn't a Joni specific thing, because it really seemed like dude was just jealous anytime anyone looked a Bree a little too long. Then he continued talking and honestly, it all started making sense, and for shit to make sense to Puck it's gotta be mad obvious. But from what he could tell the real issue was baby bro is scared he isn't her first choice, that she'll find someone 'better' and leave him. It wasn't the exact same insecurity Puck had but it also wasn't that far off. At the end of the day neither one of them seemed to think they were the best choice for the people they wanted and while Puck tended to take himself out of the game, Jake was trying to take everyone else out. Unfortunately, his best piece of advice was also the simpliest and somehow also the hardest thing to do. "You're probably not gonna like this, but, um, has it ever crossed your mind to tell her all of that?" A pause. "Not saying it's gonna be easy, understanding other people's feelings never is but she loves you, so I gotta believe she'd wanna try and inderstand where you're coming from and you gotta try and understand where she's coming from too. That'll probably build more trust than anything else." Damn, was he good at this? Should he be giving out advice more. Fifteen years of being a dad, finally paying off.

JAKE didn't even know what his brother's real deal was with Morgan and Eva, and he at least knew that communication was an issue, but it wasn't like his brother told him anything beyond that. Santana had been mouthing off her own opinions but he didn't really know how accurate it was, but considering she was Maya's mom and he was starting to see what his niece inherited from both Puck and Santana, he assumed the Latina knew what she was talking about. But as he listened to his brother's advice, Puck seemed to be better at talking someone else through their problems than he did his own. "See, we try to talk, but then after a minutes or after an 'I love you' gets tossed out, we either fight or we fuck. And at this time point, I don't think either is helping. Neither is her constantly bringing up the cheating thing, which I have said sorry for and explained like ten times. I mean, how do you know when it's time to just accept that your relationship doesn't work and to give up?"a

PUCK wasn't really sure what to say to that. I mean that wasn't something he could determine for his brother. "That I can't answer. If you're ready to accept it and let it go then maybe that's when you know." That was really the best he could offer on that point but it wasn't all he had to say. "But you're focusing too much on her bringing up the cheating and no enough on why she's doing it. From what you've told me, y'all explained yourselves, you apologized, you said your 'i love you's' and you forgave each other. So if y'all managed all that, then why are you going through her phone so intensely you done got yourself pressed and upset over something someone else said to her a month ago and why is she still bringing shit up that she forgave you for? Y'all sound insecure and you're gonna have to put all this shit behind y'all if you wanna move forward." Leaning back he put his hands behind his head. "Personally I don't think dumping her and giving up is gonna fix shit because you gonna end up right back on my couch sulking and pissed that she went elsewhere after you and you're gonna act like it's proof that she was always gonna leave even though she didn't leave, you pushed her elsewhere. And imma say it now, I ain't gonna have any sympathy for you 'cause that'd be your own damn fault." Sighing, he sat back up again and looked at his younger brother. "Look, seems like you're in love with this girl, real legit love, that kind of shit that people search their whole lives for. So fight to keep it, fight to fix it. Don't give up on her or yourself. Tell her what you're feeling and tell her you need her to do the same because y'all aren't gonna be able to fix it unless you're both being open and vulnerable with each other." One day, he'll take his own advice.

JAKE sighed as he let Puck speak, deciding to just take it all in while trying to somehow process how the fuck he was even feeling. He didn't exactly want to give up on Bree, but every attempt to fix things seemed to keep blowing back on them so one could take it as a sign that they weren't quite meant to be. Or maybe the timing wasn't right? Or maybe it was the fucking lockdown? He didn't know, but as his brother kept going on and pointing out his and Bree's flaws, he furrowed his brows. Sure, he'd wanted advice, but now it just sounded like his brother was taking cheap shots since he'd opened up, unlike Puck had been doing. And again, his baby mama liked to talk, so he did have her take on it too. "Open and vulnerable, huh?" He repeated. "Like you, Morgan, and Eva?" Jake pointed out as he leaned back this time. "You're right. Maybe I shouldn't give up on Bree if I'm just gonna be here sulking, but pot, meet kettle. Your big tall, lanky ass has been sulking for weeks over Eva and Morgan — so badly that the mother of your child had to step in and do you a solid. She also said something about you getting it on during lockdown, so what? Is this you moving on or giving up?" He questioned, raising a brow as he looked over at his big bro. "You know, after I cheated on Bree and we broke up, I tried being like him. Figured the love shit wasn't worth it so why not just be like my dad, sleep with a bunch of random ass girls, not give a fuck about anyone else but myself. Didn't take long to realize that I'm not him, and I don't wanna be like him. That shit is fun at the time, and you bust a quick nut or two, but then you're the one sulking on your own couch while your teenager is texting her uncle and her mom telling us that you're not your usual self. That you're not as happy anymore. I know Maya doesn't know much of the specifics, but she's a smart ass kid who knows her dad. So maybe we should both take your advice and talk to the people we wanna be with, huh?"

PUCK wanted to clapback at his brother but he was too tired and the dude was right. He'd spend a dumb amount of time sulking, and Santana is right, it is pathetic and his kid is right, he needs to actually look through those therapy resources sitting on his desk and his mom is right that he needs help and his damn veteran's group is right than he needs to lean on his support system. So instead of being a dick to his little brother, he just nodded in agreement. "You're right, I've been giving you advice I ain't never taken a day in my life. Which is definitely proof that you should do what I say and not what I do." He said with a smile. "I'm lucky to have folks who wanna see me happy, who wanna see be be with the people I want and be the kinda man I wanna be. I'm even luckier that they'll help me with all that. Good new for you, little bro, those same people are gonna help you too and they're gonna be just as annoying about." That was the thing about family, it might not look the way you expected it to and if you went long enough without one it's probably tough to adjust to, but they're gonna be there and they're gonna be loud and opinionated and they're gonna love you whether you're ready for it or not. or maybe that was just the family Puck had, either way, they were Jake's family too now. "But I've already talked to one my mine and got plan to talk to the other one tomorrow morning. So maybe you try and undo whatever dumbassery is in those texts and have an actual conversation with your not girlfriend before you don't dump her. Fuck y'all are confusing."

[hobbitunderthemountain]

i am having a weird Fandom Crisis™ right now lmao oh god

i’ve spent the week knee deep in star wars fic specifically bazechirrut fic and it’s so fuckingn weirD for me because like if i ever get to the Fanfiction Stage™ of fandom love i’m usually first to go ‘i have to write 100k fic right now and maybe i’ll get around to reading fic eventually’ but with this ship i have no ideas or headcanons or anything for this ship but i will gobble up any sweet fluff fics for them right now

and it’s even more ironic because for anyone who follows my star wars blog like right after rogue one came out i was.... i hate to say negative per se but i wasn’t afraid to say ‘yeah i didn’t care for it as much as other star wars films’ and now??? here i am wading through the fanfic tag on ao3 when i haven’t done that for any other of my favorite star wars eras/characters/etc???? WHAT IS THAT. how did this happen. @me what the fuck,,?? what happened to you??

so anyway i’ve read a lot of bazechirrut and i was freaking out about commenting and bookmarking stuff on ao3 because like all my bookmarks are hobbit and i don’t want to interrupt that with star wars stuff and also DOES IT LOOK WEIRD FOR A HOBBIT PSUED ‘LADYOAKENSHIELDS’ ON AO3 TO BE COMMENTING ON STAR WARS FIC LMAO 

but like some of these fics are absolutely AMAZING and they have hardly any bookmarks or comments (partially because this is such a new fandom/ship) so i’ve finally said screw it and i’m going back commenting and bookmarking everything because those authors totally deserve it

i mean bagginshield is still 100% my number one end all be all of ships and fics but it’s been absolute AGES since i’ve gone out and searched for fic let alone fic that wasn’t hobbit and it’s so WEIRD to actually have another ship i really love??? and like i said i don’t see myself writing any fic for this fandom because i haven’t had that urge (or the knowledge.... the frickin terminology in star wars fic??? i can’t keep up????) but i’m like dyin to read all the fic out there for bazechirrut right now and it’s just so so so weird to have the urge to read fic and not write it

like i can’t believe i can finally casually enjoy fanfic without having fic to compare myself and my own fic to every other fic i read it is a glorious feeling?????? cause that’s a major reason why i don’t read a tonnnn of hobbit fic is because it always throws off my groove with my own writing because of the comparing aspect WHICH IS STUPID and i kNOW THAT and i tell mYSELF NOT TO COMPARE MYSELF but you just can’t help it sometimes???? and i really want to fix that and go back and read all the bagginshield fics i haven’t been able to (maybe once i get lmfe done i’ll be able to Chill™ for a little bit and go and binge through my lengthy ass ‘to read’ list for bagginshield) 

BUT ANYWAY 

i just felt like i needed to ramble my way through it and if any of y’all don’t already and would like to my star wars blog is @acekenobis come love the bazechirrut stuff w me~ 

[janatm]

though my eyes could see i still was a blind man || THROUPLE

tagging: Morgan Weston, Eva Anderson & Noah Puckerman

date & time: Thursday, August 29, 2024 @ some time between 3 pm- 5 pm

location: Professor Eva Anderson's fancy smancy PSU classroom

warnings: none!

summary: What was suppose to be them christening Eva's new desk turns into Puck and Eva telling Morgan some not so easy news to digest.

word count: 4,834

PUCK had been busy as fuck this week. Between Maya starting her sophomore year of high school, which, according to her, is a 'big deal, dad' and juggling... whatever the fuck Morgan, Eva and him were doing and having all the god damn meeting for the security department, and the reappearance of not only Santana but also his father, the ex-Marine had kind of neglected - more like forgot, about the fact that he was starting college in less than a week. So the last couple of days had been him running around stressed. Oh and speaking of baby mama's- people, baby parents returning, there was the no so small matter of, Andy's kid probbaly being Morgan's and him having no fucking idea. When, Eva had shared her suspicious, truthfully it was the only option that made sense. With Andy's general attitude toward Morgan and the timing, it was clear as fucking day, and Morgan deserved to know. Since Andy was determined to punish both their child and Morgan, that left Eva and Puck to bring it up and Puck just didn't know how the hell it was gonna go, because all he knew is what he would do. Sitting on top of the desk, he looked at Eva. "Do we hold his hand for this or do we give him space? What if he's fucking pissed? I don't know what the man looks like angry but it can't be good. Well, nah, he's probably hot as fuck angry, but you know what I mean." Then Puck ran his hand over his face. "What if he's sad?" Puck was really shit at comforting people, he was a fix it kinda guy not a cry on my shoulder type.

EVA To say that this week hadn't been hectic and messy as hell would be quite the understatement. Eva had dragged her feet all summer and put her syllabus off, as well as not deciding how to decorate her classroom, so she was in crunch mode essentially. And as if she needed another thing on her plate, that convo with Andy had left her wanting to fight for multiple reasons, but it also left her at a crossroads, which was why she'd filled Puck in on it. He had a kid himself and while his situation was different, and had no drama, she knew he'd probably have a better idea of what they should do. And of course, he did. While their plans had been to have sex in her classroom at first, things had shifted to them using the neutral space to tell Morgan their suspicions. Could she be wrong about this? Sure. Did Morgan at least deserve to know and get a paternity test done to be certain? Absolutely. Trying not pace around her classroom, Puck speaking pulled her out of her head and she sighed as she glanced over at him. "Maybe we give him space. Just to be safe." She hummed as she opened her laptop and pulled the conversation up just in case Morgan needed to read through it and see why 2+2=4 in this equation. "He'll probably feel a lot of emotions, so we just...let him feel them, and then we ask him what he needs from us." God, this right here was why she didn't want kids herself, or to be involved with them period, but there was no turning back now.

MORGAN was happy. The wind was blowing through the car, the dirt was whirled behind the wheels up into the air, and the sound of "Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas was blasting through the speakers of the red pick-up truck, as it zoomed from his ranch into the city. The gravel was soon replaced by real concrete, and it didn't take long to find the first stoplight, and therefore the first sign of the city. The cowboy's hands were banging against the steering wheel to the beat of the song, and he was grinning as the guitar solos rang through his ears. He could smell the sweet cake that was next to him on the passenger seat. Eva and Puck had been incredibly busy lately, getting themselves ready for the new semester. It was so cute, how they were both new at this; Puck being a student, and Eva being a professor. So the tall man wanted to show up and support his two lovers in any kind of way that he could. He'd parked the car, grabbed the little cake box and had headed into one of the many buildings on campus. There were so many damn doors, he had to stop and ask some random person for directions. "Ms. Ander- I mean, Professor Anderson's office?" He was shown with a point, and Morgan gave the person a big smile and nodded. "Thank you! Have a great day!" He almost skipped down the hallway towards the door, knowing what two people he'd be seeing behind it, but he knocked a few times - trying to see if he could knock a little happy tune - before he opened the door and greeted Puck and Eva with a grin. "Howdy, y'all!" He moved in to peck each of their lips, and set the cake down. "Chocolate cake. I wasn't sure- I mean, I tried my best. It tastes okay." He chuckled nervously, his hand scratching the back of his head, before he snapped out of it and took a step back to admire the desk that had been assembled, and afterwards the rest of the office. "It's looks really good in here! Very professional!"

PUCK nodded in understanding of what Eva ws saying. It was probably best to give him space, and to not immediately go into talking about how to go about ensuring Morgan get the DNA test he's going to need. Only if Morgan specifically asked. Puck could be a shoulder, he has very nice and broad shoulders that are perfect for crying on, so he can put them to use and just mentally think of how to fix it, so if Morgan does come to him wanting help he'll be ready. Yeah, Puck could do the emotional intelligence thing. Just as he was about to say something, the thought was lost at the Sound of a very happy 'Howdy y'all!'. Dear god this was gonna be rough and Puck was ready to back out and just fuck on the desk like they were originally planning. But then he was getting a sweet little peck and there was a homemade chocolate cake and Puck had never wanted to be the bearer of tense news less than he did right now. But damn if Morgan was the sweetest man he'd ever encountered for making them a whole ass cake. "Hey chocolate cake made by you, gotta be good." He said supportively because he was all about encouraging chocolate cake. "Our girl knows how to make anything look good, don't she?" He looked over at Eva with a smile before getting off the desk to sit in one of the chairs by the cake. "Why'd you make us a cake?" He asked genuinely curious but also stalling.

EVA didn't like this any more than Puck did, but after blowing up with Andy, she was trying to prepare herself to be the calm one. After all, Puck was a parent and was seeing this from a parental POV, whereas she was simply just wanting to do the right thing for someone she cared about. Delivering this news was going to crush Morgan, but someone had to be strong in this situation. Though, as soon as Morgan came bouncing in with a cake, she didn't know how she'd get through this. Smiling softly at the peck, she glanced at the cake and only now did she actually remember him wanting to bake one for them. And it was a very cute gesture, one she would have been a lot more stoked about if not for the elephant in the room. Taking in the compliment about her room, which led to Puck throwing out one too, Eva shook her head. "Okay, okay. I barely did much in here, but thanks, boys." She giggled. She was grateful that Puck decided to stall first, so she pushed the chair to the desk back a little and motioned for Morgan to have a seat. "Yeah, I know the sex has been amazing, but what did we do to deserve a cake? Not that we're complaining, and I'm sure much like anything else you've made for us, this is gonna taste great, but what's this for?"

MORGAN moved around the quaint space, looking around as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. He knew that it was about to become an intense time for both Puck and Eva. They wouldn't have as much time for their little fun shenanigans once work and school kicked in, so Morgan was soaking it all up. For the first time, he really truly understood why people were in relationships; the time spent together, memories being made, getting closer and learning more about each other. It excited him! So, knowing that he probably wasn't going to see them as much going forward, any time spent with the two was now cherished time. Turning around at their questions regarding the cake he'd made for them, a slight red tint grew on his cheeks. "Oh, well, y'know- you guys are working hard, gotta get some sugar in ya!" Was it because he was trying to impress them? Absolutely. For Morgan, one of his main love languages was acts of service - and what better way to show people he cared about them, than through cooking? Baking was something he wasn't so good at, but everyone liked baked goods. He watched as Eva pulled out the chair, and moved to sit down, his hands coming out of his pockets and instead going behind his head as he leaned back. "So, what's up? You guys seemed so quiet when I got here."

PUCK was not thrilled that all of this was happening so early in the development of this... throuple. They really seemed like they were headed somewhere and it's not like going through big shit isn't an importnt part of building any legit relationship, but, what if it was too early? It was hard for Puck to imagine that this kind of news wasn't going to be too much strain for something so new. While Puck wasn't ready to lose this, he was aware it was a possibility. But, it was also possible that this whole thing, while messy, could bring them all closer together. That sounded equally as scary and Puck was kind of ready to just bolt and let Eva do this shit on her own. I mean, she was the one who spoke to Andy, why was he even here? Right, for support. "For future reference I'm cool with there being no reason for a chocolate cake, but that's actually fucking adorable." He'd eat some later, right now his stomach was not feeling the whole food thing, he needed to get all this possible kid shit out first. "Unlike you I've got self control." He said with a smile, regerencing the other night when Puck walked in to Morgan and Eva two second from fucking on the couch. "Nah, we were just waiting for you, big guy." He said, looking to Eva, because she'd definitely explain all this better.

EVA couldn't help but give a half of a smile at Morgan simply baking them a cake simply for being stressed out about the school season starting. It was really thoughtful, and he hadn't even needed to go out of his way for them like this but she appreciated it anyways. She nodded in agreement with Puck's sentiments. "Yeah, I'll take anything you wanna make for me too, for any reason or no reason at all." When Puck didn't make a move to cut the cake and grab a piece, she assumed they were both in the same position of not having an appetite for it at the moment. Deciding to let Puck's other comment slide as Morgan took his seat, she was already trying to sort out how to break this news to him when the ball was practically being thrown in her court. And she would have been slapping Puck's arm if it didn't make sense for her to be the one to break the news, so she hopped up on her desk and turned to face Morgan. "We technically planned for all three of us to break in my new desk, but then something came up." She sighed. "First of all, I may have overstepped a boundary or two with your former lover and friend, Andy. We were talking about you, and they gave a timeline for you two breaking up and them getting pregnant...and to me, it sounded like you might be the father. I tried to push an answer out of them and they got super defensive, and they went from denying it to basically assuming that I was trying to come for their son and threatening to take legal action, and then saying they wouldn't let you around the son because of me now. Which isn't confirmation that you are the father, and I didn't actually come for your son which you can see for yourself but — anyways, I told Puck and we both thought that if anything, you deserve to talk to Andy and get answers in case I'm right." Once it was all out there, she finally exhaled another breath before shrugging. "I'm sorry, that was a lot, and I could be fucking wrong, but it doesn't hurt for you to be sure, right?"

MORGAN smiled as Puck talked. The man oozed confidence like nothing he'd ever seen before; it wasn't until he was in a more intimate setting that that confidence started to crack a little, but Morgan wasn't the type of person to cause those cracks to become bigger. He just appreciated the fact that he wasn't just one big facade, and that there was more to him than that, even if he probably wouldn't let people believe that. Eva, on the other hand, really was confident through and through - in the best way possible. It was the type of confidence where she really believed in herself, and didn't hesitate about her next move. She was tough and badass, and Morgan felt so incredibly honored to have been let in to see the softer and sweeter side of her. It was the sides of these two people that Morgan constantly hungered for; that sweetness, that closeness, the bond that they had. And maybe he was trying everything he could, to further grow it. So his eyes went from Puck to Eva, as it seemed like he kinda passed the baton on to her, and Morgan listened intently as she started telling everything about the conversations that the tall cowboy had blissfully been unaware of. His throat started closing and becoming dry, his heart beat picked up, and he found himself wanting to melt into the chair and not exist anymore. The words 'pregnant', 'son', 'defensive' and 'threatening' seemed so loud in his head. Blinking a few times, Morgan looked away, his breathing getting slightly heavier. He couldn't keep sitting. He was feeling restless, needing to get that anxious energy out of his body. So he stood up quickly, turning his back to Eva and Puck as she finished explaining. And the wheels inside Morgan's head started turning. What was he supposed to say to them? What was he supposed to say to anyone? He walked up to the wall, his fingers pushing one of the framed pictures up slightly, making it hang more straight as he took a deep breath. He knew what to tell them.

"I've already spoken to Andy about it." He said quietly, and turned to the two. "A few weeks ago, I asked them. He's not mine." Morgan walked up to the back of the chair, holding onto it, as if to hold on to his anger and keep it inside. "I've known Andy since I was a kid, they wouldn't lie to me. Not about that. And I believe them. But to threaten you? To take their frustrations with me, and our break-up, out on you?" Morgan's eyes never left Eva's. He wanted to make sure she understood this. His fingers tightened around the fabric of the chair. He was thoroughly pissed off. "To do anything that would cause you any kind of hurt?" He was quiet for a moment as he breathed heavily. The idea of Andy even doing that hurt him. "I'll talk to them about it."

PUCK fell as silent as he's ever been, back a little straighter, like this conversation demanded him to be at attention. As Eva spoke, Puck never looked away from Morgan, he wanted to read every micro-expression and his body language, as if it would give him the ability to read his mind or emotions. Once Morgan turned from them, Puck knew the taller man was in thought and needed a minute to process before he spoke again. Both Morgan and Eva were better at thinking before speaking than Puck was. Looking over at the professor he sighed before his eyes went right back to Morgan. It didn't really surprise him that Morgan had already asked Andy about all of this. I mean if Eva can do the math so could he, but it did surprise him how easily he was willing to accept it as the truth. While Puck didn't know Andy, he knew people and people did fucked up shit when they were angry, hurt and/or scared and from what he knows, Andy was all of those things after their breakup with Morgan. Again, his eyes stayed on Morgan, even as Morgan looked so intently at Eva, like he'd hurt anyone that brought harm to her and he wondered if being regarded by the cowboy felt as incredible as it looked, he'd have to ask Eva later. Standing up, Puck made a little nose to break the moment with his hair, which, interrupting moments between these two is starting to become his thing. "Look I don't know Andy but I do know hurt and angry folk don't act like themselves. I'm not saying they're lying to you, I'm saying they could be and I'm telling you as a father, you're gonna be heartbroken if that little boy is yours and you lose anymore time with him." All he could think was how devestated he'd have been if Maya had been kept from him, if he had missed two years of firsts. "You owe it to that kid and to yourself to make damn sure it ain't you no matter what Andy says." Maybe he had spoken out of turn but it was too late now.

EVA had half expected Morgan to need to get up, so she didn't even flinch when it happened. He was much calmer than most people would be in his shoes, but she was used to this sort of softness to him anyways so it was on brand for him. But as she watched him adjust a frame on her wall, all she could do was sigh. That was until he started explaining that he'd already asked Andy and they'd said no. That was exactly what Andy had said to her when she'd first started asking, before they got defensive. It had been bullshit, and for someone who could sell anyone anything, she knew the antics of someone trying to craft a narrative that was false and then breaking when someone challenged it. This was probably the first time the kid's paternity had come into question like this, it seemed to her as though Andy hadn't been prepared for it. Letting Morgan get worked up over Andy taking their frustration out of her, she kept her eyes locked on his until he'd finished. This situation had just gone from messy to pure hell, and as she glanced over at Puck as he spoke, she was grateful that he was pushing this as much as she was. "Puck's right. You can check the conversation for yourself if you want, but..let's just take a step back here." Eva suggested, nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders. "Andy implied two things: they're still in love with you and can't be just friends with you, and they still think you're the same person you were three years ago and that you can't make time for work. They can't let you back into their life, let alone the kid's, if you're going to do what you did before. Their words, not mine. I tried to tell them that you're different now, that you have no problem making time now, and it fell on deaf ears." She explained, tempted to roll her eyes at how hard Andy had pushed back on it when they didn't know the man Morgan was now. "And don't worry about them coming for me. I can handle myself." She reassured him with a small smile.

MORGAN's jaw clenched as he stayed silent. He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do, didn't even know what to think! He was frustrated, sad, angry. He could see where Puck and Eva were coming from, pushing for him to do something. All the signs were pointing towards it. Why else would Andy be so angry at him? It made sense! He didn't make time for them before, so why would he make time for their kid now? And that kind of mindset was being held against him. It was why they were so angry with him! But then again, Morgan came back to the fact that Andy just simply wouldn't lie to him. They never had before, why would they start now? Morgan's head was starting to hurt, as he was being pulled in both directions, and the palm of his hand rubbed his temple softly as he thought about what was next. "Andy's not in love with me. Is there still love between us? Yes! But it's the kind of love that never leaves two old best friends." Morgan claimed, looking between his two lovers. His voice was slightly louder than before, but he also knew other people were working in offices next door. "D'ya really not think they'd tell me, if the boy was mine?" Morgan asked, almost hesitant and like he didn't believe it himself. "I just..." closing his eyes, Morgan ran a hand through his hair, groaning quietly in frustration. "I'll talk to them." He sighed, a sudden wave of surrendering washing over him. He looked back at the two gorgeous people in front of him, sad that all of this had happened. "I'm sorry."

EVA was certain that they'd somehow taken a trip to delulu land when Morgan first shot down the idea that Andy was still in love with him. It was wild and utterly ridiculous to her that they'd still be clutching onto feelings from three years ago; however, she'd never fallen in love herself, or had a kid, so all she could do was assume that this was the type of dumb shit people did when they had one or both of those. Her jaw dropped yet again when he questioned whether they thought Andy would lie about the kid's paternity, which was the whole reason they were here after all. She just stared at him blankly as he seemed to be at least agreeing to talk to Andy, and then when Puck didn't immediately speak up, she took that as her cue and grabbed her laptop, scrolling to the important parts of that convo. "Cowboy, listen to me closely. Their exact words were: "I'm still bitter, I still love him, I can't just be his friend." Oh, and then my personal favorite was: "I just don't see a future where he and I end up together anymore and as it stands, I can't see myself going back to being just friends with him either." I might not know or like Andy very much at this moment, but that's not friend love. In fact, they also doubt that you two were ever really friends, which I'm gonna guess is them thinking that you leaving them means you weren't a real friend or lover or whatever." Eva stated before she sat her laptop down and exhaled a small breath. "I'm not saying they're a bad person, and my guess is that Andy is lying because they're afraid that you won't stick around for your son just like you didn't stay for them. Pretty sure it's also because they don't want you around as just a father to your son if they can't have you back as a lover, but that's a whole other issue. I can't judge their way of trying to protect their son — but if he is yours, you have every right to know and to be given a fair chance to prove Andy wrong. That's all we're saying."

PUCK was grateful when after Morgan spoke Eva was right there to swoop in with a response, because Puck just couldn't stop looking at Morgan. Why did he seem so calm? I mean, Puck noticed the jaw clench and that was a clear indicator of growing frustration and it made him wonder how much he could hold down before he all came pouring out and when it did who would it be aimed at, what would it look like. Morgan had already made it clear that he'll be damned if any harm comes to Eva, so he probably wouldn't direct it there. Would it be him? Would Puck have to bare his anger and frustration? He could handle it, he had endured much worse. As Eva kept talking Puck could only imagine hearing Andy's own words was tough. And very uncharacteristically, Puck wanted to comfort Morgan and tell him, no matter what it's all gonna be okay. That they would be there with him to figure this out and help him through it, but instead he stood where he was and waited for Eva to finish because even though what she was saying might be hard to hear she was 100% right and Morgan needed to hear it. "All this is... a lot. I'm guessing it's gut wrenching to think your Andy, your childhood friend, could maybe do something like this to you, but it's just a possibility, something to prepare for." Puck tried to reassure without sugarcoating, too much. "You definitely ain't gotta be sorry. Life's always throwing shit at us that we aren't sure we can catch but it ain't just you, you know? you got people. Not to sound like an after school special, but you aren't alone in any of this, man." Again, Puck was shit at this, but he was trying.

MORGAN ran a hand through his hair, watching Eva pick up her laptop and pull out the evidence. He was beginning to get frustrated. He knew it wasn't their intentions, he knew that all they were doing, was to make him aware of it and ask him to do something - especially if Oakley was his after all! And that it was all coming from the best of intentions! But as Eva read out loud exactly what Andy had said, he couldn't help but almost feel like he was being shown his mistakes, or even being made to choose. Some irrational part of him was whispering in his ear that this could also be Eva and Puck's way of getting rid of Morgan. But that was the completely irrational part of him that he, nine times out of ten, didn't believe in after all. As Eva kept explaining, Morgan had to look down at the ground. He hated this. It was heartbreaking, hearing that his ex had spoken to his...situation like that, but also that his situation suspected his ex of not telling the truth. Eva finished and Puck picked up, following after, and Morgan's eyes shot up, finding his dark brown ones. The ones that he could find himself staring into and get lost in for way too long. Nodding along slowly, Morgan sucked in a deep breath, and nodded to himself, making a decision in his mind. "Thank you for this." He said and pushed the chair in, giving both Eva and Puck a look that was determined. "Enjoy the cake." And with that, Morgan started walking, leaving the room. He almost felt the need to be sick, but he just had to get away. He needed time to think about how the hell to approach Andy like this. And how to make it up to Puck and Eva. But that required him to be alone. And so, he left; left to go home to think.

[janatm]

the way that we movin' is reckless, baby || BRAKE

tagging: Jake Puckerman & Bree Brown

date & time: August 9, 2024 at night

location: Puck's Place

warnings: jake being a drama queen and bree not communicating effectively

summary: What started off as a much needed conversation about the breakdown of their relationship turns into something that feels very final.

word count: 4,363

BREE never thought she'd be spending the night with Jake where the main objective wasn't sex. At least, not since they broke up. Even though they hadn't been alone alone, this still felt intimate. Being apart of his time with his niece, like she was family too. Between this and Jake going around implying he wants to marry her, Bree felt a surge of affection, of love, for her ex, and it made her furious and hopeful. It was confusing and as she sat on the couch, she waited for Jake to come back with some water for her. Maybe she was just dehydrated and that's why her brain was short circuiting every time she looked at him. As he walked back in, she smiled and took the water. "Don't get any ideas. We are not hooking up with your niece in the house." She said swinging her legs over his andbgetting comfortable.

JAKE was killing two birds with one stone here with Maya and Bree, which was kind of a relief. Defending himself lately and trying to convince his ex that he hadn't been doing anything other than hanging out with Puck and Maya was much easier now that the chatty teen could co-sign his story, and show Bree the embarrassing TikToks they'd made before deciding she needed to go talk to her friends. Grabbing Bree's water, Jake handed it over and flopped back down. "Babe, I wasn't gonna make a move while baby Puckerman is in the house. Give me some credit. I'm actually a great uncle." He laughed. "And besides, those texts the other day seemed...like you needed us to talk some shit out anyways."

BREE laughed as her ex praised himself for being a good Uncle. She wasn't going to bring up the fact that he'd only been one for a few weeks because seeing him and Maya together, she could tell he was actually having fun having a family. Plus, she had to agree, he was a pretty good uncle. Drinking some of the water she figured if he was gonna open the door for an actual conversation then she'd give it a try. Looking at him, she found herself moving into him a little more, bending her legs so she could scoot in a bit more. "I know we weren't..." A pause. "That I wasn't perfect but-" she just needed to ask it for fuck sake. "I didn't let you explain and so I've spent the last couple of months assuming the worst and I just need to know why you cheated on me. Even if it hurts to hear."

JAKE hated doing the whole talking thing when feelings and shit were involved, which he was sure he'd gotten from his mom and Gabe, but it had been almost four months since their break up and he decided that she deserved the truth — even if he wasn't fully ready to get into that whole thing. As soon as she started speaking, he sighed as he gently ran a hand along her thighs. "Neither one of us were perfect, but that's not what we expected anyways." He pointed out before exhaling a deep breath. "Being your secret, or on campus only, boyfriend was kind of fucked up. I ain't using that as an excuse, but being this boyfriend you couldn't post about, take around your folks, tell anyone who wasn't at PSU about wasn't easy to deal with. Especially when I had to see you out at your little events and shit with other lil' content dudes. I sucked that shit up as best as I could, but then it just started bothering me more and...I went to a party that one night, met some girl who didn't mind posting me on her Snap and shit, and I just let things go too far. Wasn't 'cause I didn't want you, but it was just nice to be with somebody who wasn't afraid to be seen with me like that."

BREE liked to think of herself as a rational and mature person. Generally, when people spoke she listened and processed to the best of her ability, asked clarifying questions if needed and nothing had to get out of hand. Unless, of course, her feeling were involved, in which case she was pretty damn immature about things and struggled to see different perspectives and actually listen to what's being said. Which is definitely why when Jake spoke, instead of hearing him she was just thinking of a retort. "So it's my fault? You knew what it was going to be when we got together, if that wasn't going to work for you, then you shouldn't have been with me." She was riling herselfup and she pulled awway from him a bit. "And you could've come to me, could have talked to me instead of 'sucking it up' and fucking the first bitch who posted you on her snapchat." She said, her voice slightly raised because she was still upset about all of this, more so than she thought.

JAKE had expected this sort of reaction from Bree, which was why it had taken him so long to get into this before. He knew the kind of pressure she was under to live up to her parents' bullshit wants for her, and he had known what he was getting himself into here yet he had still gone into this because he'd wanted her. He still wanted her, that hadn't changed obviously, but he was at least able to think about it more rationally than his ex. "I didn't say it was your fault, Bree." He pointed out, deciding to stay calm since them both getting worked up wasn't gonna help. "I know you, and I've heard you every single time you've complained about having to do whatever your parents want you to do. I know you're under a lot of pressure to be this perfect daughter that they want you to be, so that's why I didn't say shit. You had enough on your plate already so I didn't want to add to it." Jake shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "I fucked up, okay? It's not like I even wanted that girl, I just...I needed somebody to want me and to not be ashamed of being with me, even for just an hour or two. It was wrong, and I am sorry."

BREE was ready for things to escalate. That is what she had been prepared for. For him to say it was her fault and that she wasn't enough for him or that he got bored or he just didn't care. That he hadn't loved her or wanted her and most of all she expected him to get angry, maybe tell her to get out, but he didn't. He didn't say or do any of those things. Instead he was calm and it broke her heart. Not that he was calm but that he thought she had been ashamed of him because that was so far from the truth but how could he have known that? It just hit her in a wave and she didn't cry but she could feel tears welling up, all the same. Biting the inside of her cheek, she stopped those tears from falling. "I was never ashamed of you, Jake. I wanted you with me at every event and in every photo, every video but my parents they just, they didn't approve and I can't.... I can't disappoint them." She wiped at her cheeks where a tear had managed to escape. "I thought you just... didn't want me anymore. I didn't know I was hurting you. I'm sorry." It wasn't everyday Bree apologized, but she meant it.

JAKE furrowed his brows when he noticed Bree soften at his words, and while it hadn't been his intention, he was at least glad that she was receptive to what he had to say. Arguing and snapping at one another wasn't gonna get anything accomplished, and he noticed the way she was fighting back tears and could only nod along as she spoke. He had heard all of this before and while he did appreciate it, it wasn't gonna magically change anything either. "I know you can't disappoint them, which is why you disappoint yourself and the other people you care about instead." He pointed out, reaching a hand out and placing it on Bree's thigh, giving it a small squeeze. "Baby girl, there was never a moment when I didn't want you. I always did — I still do." He admitted before he was leaning in closer to his ex. "Look, I get that we weren't perfect, and that I made shit worse, but Bree, you can't think that I fucked up because I didn't want you. I fucking love you."

BREE had been holding it together pretty well considering how she actually felt. Neither one of them was the best when it came to just saying what they felt, but it was a particularly rare occurrence for Jake, who, for the most part, came off as a rather unserious man. But the tone of his voice, the way he was looking at her, she knew he meant every word he said and it was getting harder and harder to not just let every single wall down for him. To not just melt into him and let him hold her together. It would be so easy, it was always so easy with Jake. Then her brain processed exactly what he had just said and she felt her heart stop as she looked at him. Really analyzed his features, replayed the words in her head. He had never said that to her, I mean she thought - she hoped but he had never said it. God he was so close and he smelled good and he loved her. He fucking loved her. Leaning forward she closed the distance between them and did exactly what she said she wouldn't do again and kissed him. Before she knew it she was straddling him and her breathing was heavy when she finally pulled away. Her arms around his neck, she put her hands on his chest to give them some distance. "You've never said that to me. Why'd you say it now?"

JAKE hadn't meant to say it, not at all, but he also wasn't able to hold himself back with Bree. She knew him too well, even when he hadn't wanted her to, so there was no lying to her, and he'd hidden his true feelings for a while. Not intentionally, but it kinda took him a while to even accept it, and by then, he'd already fucked up and lost her — or so he'd thought anyways. He noticed her leaning in and he didn't move, deciding to let her make the moves here, though he still managed to inhale a small breath as she kissed him. His hands immediately went to her waist the second she was straddling him, and the heavy breathing only left him desperate for more. He was sure that his face showed just how disappointed he was that they'd needed air and had to pull apart. As soon as Bree asked the question, he was sure that he died a little on the inside yet again. "By the time I realized that's what I felt for you, it was too late. And it's not like you talk to me much aside from yelling at me and telling me to fuck off, or trying to make me jealous with that white boy, so I couldn't just tell you any other time." Jake sighed. "And I ain't say it now 'cause I want it to fix shit and we get back together right at this moment. I just needed you to know how I felt."

BREE lightly smacked his shoulder after his comment about Shep, but didn't comment, deciding to let him finish answering her question. Leaning in again, she planted a quick kiss on his lips. "In my defense, you're a very aggrivating person." She said playfully putting a hand around his neck before kissing him again. "And I'm not trying to do anything. I've told you, we're just friends." Again she kissed him and it was a dangerous game she was playing here. This was not a good position for her to let herself get into with her ex. Her ex who is an ex for a reason, it's just in this moment, she doesn't care why, because he loves her and she loves him. "I -" Uh oh, she wanted to say it back but when she tried the words just wouldn't come out. Instead, she just looked at him and contemplated hooking up and hoping he could just tell, but that was definitely not the right move. Or she could get off of him and leave because she never should have been here in the first place but that was also a hell no. "So now what?" She asked, opting to just hope it went unnoticed.

JAKE smiled as Bree kept planting quick kisses on his lips, deciding to just let her have her way...for now. "I only aggravate you because you want me." He teased, though they both knew it was true. It was also why she kept insisting that nothing was happening with Shep yet any time they were talking shit, she'd made a point to try and talk the dude up as if he were hitting it at all. "At one point you said he was tapping my ass, so which is it?" He asked, raising a brow as she eyed her. Not that it mattered either way, since she'd proven that even while intoxicated, Bree came to him, not to her little fake boyfriend. Staring at his girl's face, he could see the internal struggle going on between her mind and her mouth, and he just nodded. "I know, baby girl." Maybe he should have just challenged her to say it, but he wasn't in the mood now, and he figured she'd get there was she was ready. Moving his hands to her ass, he squeezed it firmly as he shrugged. "Any other time, I'd whip my dick out and tell you to strip and sit on it, but my niece is just one room away." Jake groaned. "But you can stay right here, and we can talk about the wedding your parents are gonna pay for in a few years. I'm sure you're gonna want something over the top, but I want an open bar, chicken sliders, maybe some fireworks, and Kendrick Lamar has to perform at the reception."

BREE wawnted to disagree and say he aggrevates her being he's annoying but it was be a lie he'd see through immediately, so what was the point? Besides, he'd just admitted to loving her and that earned him at least ten minutes of nice Bree time. "I just think there's a lot of tension between you two that could be alleviated by hooking up and if I'm there as a witness then it's a win/win." While her feelings for Shep might be what the public thinks they are, she does find herself attracted to that charming smile and southern twang. She wouldn't be mad at seeing two good looking men make out. Giving Jake a genuine smile as he let her off the hook for the whole, I love you, she felt her love for him grown. He understood her in a way no one else did and loved her anyway. It made her feel seen. Unable to hold back the giggle as he grabbed her ass and she scrunched her nose at his vulgarness and then before she even had time to say anything about it, he had her smiling again just to have her rolling her eyes two seconds later. "It's out wedding, not a Wendy's we're not doing chicken sliders. And I want Beyonce singing Halo as our first dance song, so if I can manage that then I can definitely get you Kendrick." Sighing as she snuggled into him, adjusting herself so she was sitting on his lap more comfortably. "But that's not what I mean, I mean what about us now?"

JAKE furrowed his brow's at Bree's suggestion, and he was sure she'd fallen and bumped her fucking head. "Is he gay? Cause I ain't, but even if I were gonna let some dude suck me off, it wouldn't be him." He huffed, and he couldn't even believe that Bree would suggest such an atrocious idea, yet of course she wanted to see it. "And you're one to talk. I see women flirting with you too, so why don't you bring one back to my place some time and give daddy a little show?" He suggested, and he was mostly just saying it to get back at her, but he wouldn't turn it down if she wanted to follow through. With the way she'd reacted the last time he'd mentioned their future wedding, he was at least glad to see that she could joke about it now, even if he fully meant that they were getting married in the future. "Listen, I don't want some fancy ass caviar or whatever you rich people eat, okay? It's my day too so I think we have to mix your bougie tastes with my...affordable ones. And sadly, I don't think Beyonce is taking wedding performance gigs unless you know her personally, which we don't." Jake pointed out. Locking his arms around her tighter, he didn't really have to think about her question before he was sighing softly. "As much as we both want this, I can't do the whole dating thing again until you're ready to stand up to your parents. It's not fair to either of us, and honestly, I just can't do that shit again."

BREE raised an eyebrow at Jake's protests and she wouldn't say it, but again she thinks both of them protest a little too much for there to be no tension at all but that could just be the smutty book reader in her. Rolling her eyes at his suggestion, she didn't even want to respond. "Because daddy hasn't earned a show." Which of course implied that he could, which maybe if they were 100% more stable in their situation she would maybe, possibly consider it. The use of 'we' was not lost on her and her heart kind of melted at the idea of them being a we again. "There's time, I could meet her and she could love me and be honored to sing Halo for us." Okay, so she wasn't actually delsional, as much pull as her parents had she doubted even they could make that happen, but truthfully so long as she's marrying the love of her life she doen't care. That's not true, she's going to be a bridezilla. She'll be lucky if she doesn't get left before the big day. Nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck as he spoke, she didn't love what he was saying but she understood. "And I don't trust you not to hurt me like that again and getting back into a relationship with you knowing that, wouldn't be fair to either of us either." Nervously biting on her bottom lip, she stopped and looked at him again. "So are we just.... friends?"

JAKE rolled his eyes right back when Bree didn't immediately agree with his suggestion, because of course she wouldn't. That would be too easy and Bree Brown didn't do anything easy. "But what I heard is that the option could potentially be on the table? Good to know." He nodded, figuring that was a little payback of his own. But they weren't in a place for a threesome regardless, so he wasn't going to dwell on it too much. he let her ramble off about Beyonce and just nodded in support of her delusion, knowing damn well that Beyonce would never make an exception for them, no matter what connections the Browns had. But they had years to pick out what they wanted for their wedding. Sighing when Bree mentioned him hurting her, he did agree there, and they weren't going to get any better without fixing their issues, so Jake was willing to be mature for once. "We're more than friends.." He hummed, squeezing her ass as he met her gaze. "It doesn't matter what we label this. We both know what we want, we just have some work to do so for...we're exes who are figuring things out." That probably sounded just as messy as their situation was, but he didn't care. "Let's just take this one day at a time?"

BREE would pout and maybe she did a little bit, but at least for now, they both knew a threesome was definitely not a good idea. There is no way she'd have fun in a threesome with Jake. Listening to her ex try and describe what they were to each other now, was slightly painful for her. It was just too loosey goosey, not enough certainties or boundaries. A part of her wanted to just make this a clean break like she had attempted in the first place, but well, we see how successful that was the first time. So, maybe there was a middle ground between cutting him off completely and sitting in his lap talking about their future wedding. "You know I'm not a take it one day at a time kind of girl, Jacob. I need clarity. So for the sake of clarity can we agree that we are not in a relationship. And even if we still have feelings for each other, we are free to date and sleep with who we like but maybe we just don't talk to each other about it."

JAKE being left to define or label what they were now was dangerous, given that he'd been the one to ruin an already fractured relationship anyways, and he could tell from Bree's body language that his words weren't what she was looking for. Not that it mattered much since the alternatives weren't great either, but he was open to other suggestions. Or he was until Bree tossed out an alternative he had at the bottom of the list, for obvious reasons. "Are you sure about this? "Cause you're the one who's always chewing me out about sleeping with other women, even when it's been weeks and the only person I've had sex with has been you." He hummed, though he was sure he'd probably get chewed out for that too. "And that's not really clarity. We just keep doing what we've been doing, but fucking other people too? And what if feelings for other people get involved too? We just..carry on?"

BREE was aware that her grilling Jake on his sexual exploits had less to do with her thinking he was out there fucking whoever, whenever and more of a projection because she was the one having sex with other people. She was also aware that her not wanting them to discuss who else they're sleeping with was because she didn't want him to know that she was out here fucking other people. Especially, Shep. For some reason, he specifically got under Jake's skin and she simply refused to believe that had anything to do with her. However, he was right. It wasn't really clarity, it was her way of getting everything she wanted. It was selfish but she also wasn't entirely sure what the solution was. "We're not together anymore. We're not getting back together. Isn't it normal that we see other people?" Truthfully, she had felt somewhat guilty the past few weeks and maybe she was looking to be absolved of that guilt. "We should stop this." She motioned between herself and her ex. "No more sex, no more flirting, no more making out, no more intimate moments. A real break up."

JAKE was slightly expecting them to work out some sort of condition that worked out well for them both, so his mouth went dry when Bree started talking and implied that they were completely over. Sure, she'd said this same stuff before, yet this felt different. The whiplash he was getting from her shifting from one decision to the next was even too much for him now. "Are you serious?" He huffed before he gripped her waist tighter and moved her off of his lap. "Fuck it, we're done." He decided as he stood up. "You can see yourself out. I'm sure Shep is probably waiting by the phone for you to call anyways, so have fun with that, and don't fucking show up at my place the next time you're drunk and horny for something other than a mediocre stroke game. You keep your distance, and I'll keep mine." Jake stated as he started to head for Maya's bedroom. "I'll tell my niece you said goodbye, now get out."

BREE kind of saw this coming. Eventually, maybe not tonight but at some point she was going to piss him off enough that's he'd be over it. She'd been punishing him since she found out he cheated. Felt entitled to do and say what she wanted to him to try and hurt him the way he hurt her. While she hadn't expected to manage that tonight, she did and unsurprisingly, it didn't feel good. Could she have tried talking to him, sure but if she had hurt him even a fraction as much as he hurt her then it would be pointless and likely just piss him off more. So she gathered what she had brought over, left her birthday gift for Puck on the table and pulled every ounce of strength she had not to turn around and beg. Once he was outside she felt a tear run down her cheek. And then another. And another. Already, she missed him and she wished she had been able yo say the words. To tell him she loved him. Just so he would know. But she hadn't and now she might never get to.