#tag your favorite destiel lover

[wikiangela]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @aroeddiediaz @underwaterninja13 @nmcggg @ladydorian05 thank you <33

How many works do you have on ao3?

right now it's 90! (57 of these are 911 lol)

What's your total ao3 word count?

535,450

What fandoms do you write for?

currently just 911, but I have some destiel and sambucky fics and who knows, I might get back to them at some point haha

Top 5 fics by kudos:

For a holiday (and forevermore)

I can't love you any more (than I do now)

I'd marry you with paper rings

the next best thing

There’s no way that it’s not going there (with the way that we’re looking at each other)

(they're all buddie and I just noticed that the top 4 are all over 1k kudos?? when did that happen lmao)

Do you respond to comments?

I do! sometimes it takes me a while bc i get lowkey overwhelmed lol but I always do!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

there's not a lot bc I prefer happy or hopeful endings, but I guess by post 6x10 fics? Fine and don't know what I'd do if your tomorrow never came idk lol

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my fics have happy endings, but I guess I'd say For a holiday (and forevermore) 

Do you get hate on fics?

not really? got like one or two not very nice comments but generally no haha

Do you write smut?

yes I do 😁 not often and it always takes me forever but I do have two smut fics in the works (one buddie, one bucktommy lol)

Craziest crossover?

don't have any

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, as far as I know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

Have you co-written a fic before?

no

All time favorite ship?

buddie

(ngl, bucktommy is a veeeeery close second rn🙈)

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

there's two that have been fighting me for so long they're lowkey abandoned now and tbh I don't know if I still want to finish them? one is a 5+1 nicknames, and the other just a silly idea about eddie flirting with buck since they met but buck being veeeery oblivious lol

What are your writing strengths?

I think (usually) I'm pretty good at staying true to the characters and not making them too ooc (and I know when it's ooc, okay, I have one wip rn where I just don't give a fuck, I'm writing it anyway lol), and I can get into their heads pretty well. Also I think I'm good at the cute fluffy stuff lol idk

What are your writing weaknesses?

there's probably a lot lol - rn the one that comes to mind is descriptions probably, which is why writing fanfic where we have established characters and settings is so much easier than og stuff haha

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't mind it but I don't do it a lot aside from a pet name here and there bc I just don't wanna get anything wrong lol

First fandom you wrote in?

for tv shows supernatural, but before that I did write rpf which i just wanna forget about lol

Favorite fic you've written?

rn it's three:

we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide) - my tommy pov fic <3

I'm comin' back, don't let me go - buck driving/breakdown fic

baby, you drive me wild - car smut - might not be my best but it's my fave smut lol

tags: @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @loserdiaz @evanbegins

@wildlife4life @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway

@spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks

@rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon

@jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @theotherbuckley @daffi-990

@hoodie-buck @tizniz @bidisasterevankinard

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 20 | Soulmate

The Arrow's Path | @blessyourhondahurley

Rating: General Word Count: 1,188 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, First Meeting Summary: A three-part story of Dean and Cas finding each other.

How to Ignore Your Soulmark and Be Happy | @broken-ankle

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,004 Main Tags/Warnings: Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Queerplatonic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Aromantic Asexual Castiel, Aromantic Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Non-Linear Narrative, Alternate Universe - No Supernatural Summary: Dean and Cas are soulmates. They know, and they know that the other knows, and they've never talked about it. That doesn't stop them from building a life together.

The Soul Bird | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,997 Main Tags/Warnings: Shipwrecked, Soulmate animal Summary: Dean Winchester has looked forward to his twenty-fifth birthday for as long as he can remember. On that day, a sacred soul bird will visit and announce the name of his soul mate. Soul birds make love simple. But when a stormy sea swallows Dean's cruise ship, he finds himself stranded on a deserted island with Castiel Novak. On the island, he learns that nothing is simple. Not survival. Not soul birds. And not love.

the only permanent thing | @sharkfish

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,316 Main Tags/Warnings: Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Mental Health Issues, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Bipolar Disorder, Headaches & Migraines, Disabled Characterm Demisexual Castiel Summary: When Dean looks down, he’s shocked he hadn’t noticed it before. The bunting that has lived under the soft dip of his elbow his entire life, frozen in flight, is perched on a branch covered in leaves. The bird isn’t moving now, but sometime last night he did, and sometime last night he was given a place to rest.

Dirty Life and Times | @hawkland

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 10,026 Main Tags/Warnings: canon divergence, alternative canon, Castiel's handprint, angst, profound bond Summary: For years, Castiel had assured Dean that the handprint on his shoulder was nothing but a burn from being touched by his angelic form in Hell. It wasn't a soulmark. After all, angels had no souls. But Castiel had also hidden the mark that Dean left upon him during that first encounter, for he had no explanation for it. Not unless he was willing to consider the impossible.

life was a willow | @big-wet-cas-eyes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 33,731 Main Tags/Warnings: soulmate identifying marks, bartender Dean, author Castiel, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, misunderstandings, top!Cas/bottom!Dean Summary: When Dean’s favorite author becomes a regular at his bar, Dean knows he’s done for. He never could have anticipated the intense feelings that blossomed for the talented Castiel. There’s just one thing standing in his way of being with Castiel the way he truly wants: Castiel is waiting for his soulmate. Dean has spent his entire life hating the concept of soulmates. He just wants to live his life without the universe intervening. If the only way he can keep Castiel in his life is by swallowing his feelings, then that’s what he’ll do.

[thefreakandthehair]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @steddieas-shegoes like, forever ago and I keep forgetting.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 42! most are steddie with some criminal minds fics from over ten years ago buried deep.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 252,271

3. What fandoms do you write for? right now, just stranger things! I've been toying around with writing destiel again but if I did, it'd be anonymous. (after my entire portfolio was wiped from livejournal, I'm still in pain about it.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. and if I get burned, at least we were electrified.  2. i made this mess with love.  3. what you feel is what you are (and what you are is beautiful)  4. the answers are all inside of this.  5. Livin' On A Prayer 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes! eventually! sometimes, it'll take me awhile because I just get backed up but I read them and smile and kick my feet, and even though it takes me a bit to reply, those comments are what keep me writing. <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? happy endings are guaranteed in this house, always. I'll never write an angsty ending-- canon hurts me enough. the most bittersweet ending though would have to be scar-crossed lovers. 

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? oooo, that's tough because they're all happy endings! but I think over the hills and far away because, by virtue of it being a long fic, the happy ending feels deserved. those two went through it to get to that ending which made it so satisfying to write!

8. Do you get hate on fics? I haven't, no, and I'm very grateful for that. but I'm also like, super liberal with the block function. we cultivate our spaces here, friends!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do, but only in the context of like, what else is happening in the fic. I just can't write pwp lmao, major kudos to everyone else who does it so well! I'm in awe of your talent perpetually.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I wrote a supernatural/charmed crossover au many, many years ago. but recently? kicks cracky supernatural/stranger things crossover au scrivener wip under the couch. nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not in this fandom!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? not that I know of, but that'd be super cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? not yet... but I have some plans. keep an eye out next year. 👀

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? steddie broke something in my brain, but destiel laid the path for it be broken to start with.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? liturgies & devotionals, unfortunately. or at least in its current existence in scrivener? it's a big undertaking but if I can make it less complicated, maybe it stands a chance.

16. What are your writing strengths? not once have I been able to answer this and feel comfortable with it, but I do really enjoy the omniscent third person point of view and have gotten compliments on it. and narrative writing, I like setting the scene and developing introspection.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? there are several but god, fucking dialogue! it's my kryptonite. that, and actually ending a story. context disease is so real.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? the only other language I've ever used is a snippet of Klingon, but I'd also feel comfortable using bits of French because I know a good bit of French. anything else would just feel super inauthentic because idk what the fuck I'm saying.

19. First fandom you wrote for? uh, it was around 2001 and it was for a fandom that I no longer associate with.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? to the surprise of no one: over the hills and far away <333 so much of me is in that fic and it was hugely healing.

no pressure tags: @withacapitalp @stevethehairington @steves-strapcollection @henderdads @patchworkgargoyle @inairbinad @steddieasitgoes @starrystevie @judasofsuburbia @fragilecapric0rnn @kkpwnall @fastcardotmp3 @penny00dreadful @cranberrymoons @catknives @hbyrde36 @cuoredimuschio @wormdebut @wynnyfryd @sidekick-hero @t-boyeddie @scarcrossdlvrs + anyone else who hasn't been tagged and wants to participate!

[killerandhealerqueen]

Shipper Tag Game

Tagged by @brazilian-whalien52 thank you friend!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

All of my old ships, like Destiel, Sabriel, Johnlock, Mystrade...I used to be super into Supernatural and Sherlock but I've like completely moved on from them. Though I do like to dive back into Johnlock fics every now and then

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

USUK from Hetalia or either KakaVege from Dragonball Z. It's between those two, I think

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Definitely USUK. You have no idea how many fics I read over on Deviantart about them. So many

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

USUK or Russia x China from Hetalia...it was one of them. Can't remember, honestly

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

No. I don't get into discourse. I'm not very confrontational and I never liked fighting with anyone over their ships

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

FRUK or whatever the fuck France x UK was called. Can't remember. They were never a favorite of mine. Also Wincest. Like why?

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Bai Yutong x Zhan Yao (it was my own fanfic, thank you)

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Normal about them a normal amount (don't look at my blog or ao3)

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Um...honestly, I can't remember.

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

No, not really. If I dislike a ship, I just tend not to interact with it. So I won't go looking for content about it or check it out, even if a mutual or someone is talking about it

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Sebaciel, Eren x Levi, anything hetalia related...these were all like the normal ships in middle school for me and like...now people (especially on instagram but who the fuck listens to people on instagram) just do not like them. But I still like them.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I never did crack ships, honestly. Which might seem weird to some people but it was just never my thing

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics off?

Now, if we're talking about my own fanfics, it's Yuezhi. I read so much of my own fics about them. But if we're not then...McDanno is the one who has the most bookmarks in my ao3 bookmarks

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

Enemies to lovers, doctor x cop, black and white couple (means one wears black/dark clothes majority of the time and the other wears light/white clothes majority of the time), grumpy x sunshine...i'm sure there are other things but i can't remember

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship?

Miscommunication. Like, you're supposed to be in love with each other, right? Which means you communicate with each other for fucks sake. I know miscommunication is a big romance trope but it's just so stupid. It causes so much drama and unnecessary anxiety and just...just fucking talk to each other you assholes (I will give a pass to this trope if it's done well...like you think it's a misunderstanding but actually the characters have talked about this and they're faking the misunderstanding/miscommunication. Killer and Healer has some miscommunication but it actually makes sense why there's miscommunication...doesn't mean I have to like it, but it makes sense, so it gets a pass)

tagging: @clawbehavior @missjudge-me @hyperbolicgrinch @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @fourth-quartet @nineninepetals @marulo @writerwithoutsound @hils79 @godotismissingx @darktecno @zennialemo and anyone else who wants to play

[crabs-but-better]

9 ppl to get to know better

tagged by @howldean ‼️🫶

list 3 ships you like: the ones i’ve been into the most lately would be forthur (h2g2), hilson (house md) and valvert (les mis). destiel forever tho 💪

first ship ever: this is difficult because I’m not sure where shipping starts, yknow? like there were definitely relationships that i liked from a young age, but that was before I knew about the concept of shipping, so idk if it counts. the first ship i ever participated in fandom or read fanfic for was edwin (fmab), so i’ll call that my first ship.

last song you heard: where is my mind by pixies cus i have to learn the guitar part for this band thing i’m doing

favorite childhood book: JUNIE B JONES 💯 I WAS OBSESSED. OWNED THE WHOLE COLLECTION

currently reading: ‘The 99% Invisible City’ by Roman Mars and Kurt Kohlstedt for pleasure (city design!! based career) and ‘Their Eyes Were Watching God’ by Zora Neale Hurston for school (but for pleasure too cus it’s a rlly good book, highly recommend).

currently watching: i started Northern Exposure w my dad recently. i’m also doing a house rewatch.

currently consuming: just had a bowl of cereal 👍

currently craving: the tender embrace of a lover (or a really good fish fry)

tagging: @mister-finally-found-himself @incidentalblr @youre-only-gay-once @angel-of-fallen-dreams @discourseposter @pisshandkerchief @shcherbatskya @anglerflsh @crowli-wan (nine people is a lot so i tagged some mutuals even if we’ve never talked 🫶 sorry) (+anyone else who wants to do it is welcome to! just tag me in the response :)

[ltleflrt]

Fic Stats Game

Thanks for tagging me @porcupine-girl 😁

Rules: Give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and your fic with the least amount of words.

Most Hits: Kiss the Baker - Destiel, Cop!Dean and Baker!Cas fall in love over sweet treats. Dean's new to this bi thing, but Cas is just the right guy to show him how it works.

Second Most Kudos: Satin and Sawdust - Destiel, Contractor!Dean and Veterinarian!Cas fall in love over home improvement projects. Cas is new to this bi thing, but Dean is just the right guy to show him how it works.

(No joke, the reason this fic exists is because Kiss the Baker and Addicted to You are tagged "Dean thinks he's heterosexual" and someone commented on it, and I was like okay time to create the "Castiel thinks he's heterosexual" tag on AO3 lol... and I do consider S&S as a reverse 'verse of KtB.)

Third Most Bookmarks: Cursed or Not - Destiel, Hunter!Dean is cursed to be a witch's familiar, but he's also a witch hunter. Makes it kinda awkward when he meets Witch!Cas who offers to help him break the curse.

Fourth Most Comments: No Words - Destiel, Alpha!Cas and Omega!Dean, sorta enemies to lovers but Cas doesn't know at first lol... this one was my first attempt at doing something a little non-traditional with omegaverse dynamics. And also, writing Dean as mute was fun and interesting.

Least Amount of Words: New Costume - City of Heroes, OC characters from the video game learning to live in new universes after the MMO servers got shut down. My husband and I met through the game, and played it right up until the servers powered off. It was really sad for both of us, but more so for him because it was his very favorite game. So I wrote him some ficlets to try and cheer him up.

tagging: @jupiterjames @valleydean @trilliath

[watchyourbuck]

20 questions for fic writers!

tagged by @wikiangela @thewolvesof1998 & @lover-of-mine thank you guys!!!🥺🫶🏼

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 14, although it certainly feels like more bc i have compilations of drabbles

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

I have 111.881 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

As of right now, I'm only writing for 911, but I used to write for spn, suits and the mcu. the only one of those i see myself going back to is spn, the others are long gone obsessions.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(the ones that arent linked are bc i dont really like them anymore). Louis' Little Word Play (Pair: Marvey form Suits). Dangerous Posession (MCU). To fall for a stark (MCU). A Night to Remember (Pair: Marvey from Suits). I'll Guide You Through (Buddie).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I respond to them all! Im pretty sure ive missed some along the years tho.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i feel like i have only one with an angsty ending and its bc i used to think they all had to have a happy ending dfghjjhgfg anyway, its my latest one Not your fault (but mine)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Its an MCU one, they end up getting married lmao.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

sometimes but its not a lot. sometimes id write something unrealistic within the rules of the AU and they would criticize me but i usually just took it as cc.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes ma'am, a lot LMAOO. I have written pretty much anything, including watersports (which are not my thing but i had it as a request). Only thing ive never written is r*pe or cnc, and skat. no thank uuu.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i dont believe i have. i wrote a foursome once but they were all from the same world.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a fic per se, but an idea.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! One time to russian and one time to spanish. i felt really authory FGHJHGH. literally felt like i had made it lmaoo.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I had a big project with one of my mcu friends from back in the day but we never did it.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

i think destiel and buddie. they’ve been my roman empire.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It was a high school AU for the mcu. i loved it so, but i dont really enjoy the mcu anymore and i just dont have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think im very good at descriptions of both place and thoughts. i feel like i used to be really good at smut bc i would write so much of it lmao. i hope i still got it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing something, for once. wrapping up is also really hard. happy endings that dont feel like a low budget romantic movie (im a rejection-aro bro lmao).

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Well spanish is quite easy bc its my mother language. other than that, if its not one of the 8 i speak, then i wouldnt feel comfortable unless i have someone fluent helping me (not google).

19. First fandom you ever wrote for?

i wanna say spn (destiel) but i never posted it bc it wasnt very good (i was 15 and my english wasnt as good as it is rn), but i did end up posting a destiel fic this year (my first!): The way it should've been

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

okay so my favorite fic so far is the Prince AU (buddie), which i havent finished nor posted. i literally have written 2 chapters of it but its just... my baby. now posted posted i think its the one i just linked in the prior question. i just love the way i portrayed each of the character's thoughts.

tags! (no pressure tho): @housewifebuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @eddiediaztho @forthewolves @fortheloveofbuddie @butraura @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @fionaswhvre @wildlife4life @disasterbuckdiaz 💗✨

[curiosity-killed]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by @veliseraptor right when I turned work notifications off for 2 hours which feels auspicious

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

148 😅

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,201,484! For a couple years there, I was kind of cranking but now I basically haven't written fic for two years so uh. chilling at 1.2 million

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is always mildly upsetting to me because my favorites are rarely the winners lol

a bow for the bad decisions (3536)

willow branches and flowers (2785)

upon this altar (2745)

heart + bone (2090)

whipstitch (2024)

...well at least I like 2 of these lol

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I used to respond to every comment and then got overwhelmed and fell completely behind and THEN decided to clean house and answer all of the remaining ones...and the next day posted heart + bone and now have uh... 688 AO3 emails sitting in my inbox :') I periodically try to go in and answer at least a handful but honestly it's gotten very sporadic

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Off hesperus! I don't think I write a lot of true angst or tragedies tbh. But that one was meant to be 100% genuine, no happy endings angst. And admittedly it's not AS bad as it could have been but. it is probably as bad as I am likely to write (unfortunately (?), I left my "kill all your fave characters, make everyone suffer, burn it down!!!" writing vibes back in middle school mostly).

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I have so much fluff how am I supposed to pick. ...most of my tgcf fics? heart + bone and sunlight, sunlight, sunlight are pretty absurdly fluffy by the end.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not really. Back in the olden days (high school/college), I did more—see: whisper something holy, the OG loki fic... I think there were some others?—but it's pretty rare now.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

ehhh not really hate, just some folks who got lost and wound up mad in the comments that *checks notes* local complexity lover let characters be complex. I just turned off anonymous comments for a while and it was fine

9. Do you write smut?

Sometimes! I tend to write (& draw) smut when I'm stuck in a rut (pun sadly not intended), stressed, and struggling to make things which is. something to know about myself. but also means that it often serves as sort of an on ramp to making art that I care about more and so it's often left unfinished.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I have no idea how I'd know but honestly, I think my writing is enough directed toward my interests/wants that it's not a prime candidate for stealing lol

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! it's so cool!! and if she leads was translated into mandarin which!! is bonkers to me that's so much work

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I don't think I've ever actually done it. Isaac (@/lemeute) and I have co-developed a few ideas before but I think they went the way of the raccoon poll and sort of died in discord (though the yanqing AU did contribute to me drawing art!)

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Ah I really struggle with this. Really high up there, and probably chief in staying power, is Altair/Malik(/& Maria) and then in terms of ones that have sort of rewritten my brain chemistry it's like Stucky, Cartinelli, Cap2 Crew, Ranwan, Hualian, Destiel...uh I'm definitely missing some there but that's a sampler!

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

;A; oh god. I mean. a short list:

wulian au

yunmeng jiang everyone dies

bodyswap (mdzs)

light dancer (atla)

I have many more wips but they're in more varying stages of either "I don't actually care that much if I finish these" (all unfinished MCU fics) or "I will actually finish this" (sixteen stitches).

15. What are your writing strengths?

uhhhhhhhhhh i hate this question bc my brain is immediately like "here is a laundry list of everything ur bad at and ALSO ur wrong. abt the things ur good at." bc well. mental wellness. ANYWAY i think I'm like ?? pretty good at creating intensity in writing??? I've talked about it before as viscerality and it is that but also like emotional intensity. and I do think I can craft a pretty turn of phrase here and there

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

well. plot, for one thing. having one? executing one? keeping it consistent without giant holes for everything to fall apart through? nahh. Similarly, continuity overall is! not a strength. Do you know how many notes there are in TCP asking myself to just sketch out a blueprint of the palace where 90% of the first book takes place. can u imagine

there are. more. but i will pause there

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's something that needs to be done with intent and like. care. like, okay. actually I feel extremely subjective about this. Like on the one hand, I think there are times when I think using another language provides important connotative information that is lost when translating to English* (e.g., Wei Wuxian calling Lan Wangji er-gege or Jiang Yanli shijie which don't have very direct counterparts in English, but also if I were to write about my teacher calling me "chica" rather than "girl"). On the other hand, I think it's very important to be cautious (particularly as a white anglophone) about...like. Seasoning Ur Dialogue with Spicy Bits of Other Languages (I am struck by flashbacks of fanon Lance from VLD. bls.). ON THE THIRD HAND, depending on the POV of the work, writing dialogue in a different language can serve different functions in the text (e.g., if the reader knows what it means but the character doesn't, we can have some nice dramatic irony! when it's done well; if the character knows what it means but the reader doesn't, it can build suspense; if both know what it means, it can give insights into different character dynamics/backgrounds/etc.), but again, it should be done with care and intent.

uh i don't know that this actually answered the question or anything. i have feelings???? and minimally coherent thoughts?

*I am being so brave rn in trying not to go down a rabbithole about translation and meaning ;A;

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Marvel :')

19. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

hh hold on i need to go holler at lise and huaqing possibilities

anYWAY yanqing, xianle quartet (variably romantic), erha*, huaqing*, the king's affection**

*technically i've written once for these but like. not fr fr

**I still haven't finished this bc I am inexplicably stressed abt my blorbos suffering but STILL

20. What's your favorite fic you've written?

oh gosh I feel like a broken record bc my fave fics have pretty much been the same for a long time but yeah, of swords and wings is still pretty much my fave largely because, even as it has aged (and I have become more critical of the actual writing), it was so finely tailored to my specific preferences, headcanons, and wants that it still remains quite loved

tagging anyone who wants to do this! (sorry, laziness wins)

[lalazeewrites]

Tag Game Tuesday: Valentine's Edition!

Thank you to the sweetest most thoughtful @celestialmickey for tagging me!

relationship status: long ago divorced & forever single mama!

your ultimate OTP: you simply can't ask me this, but let's say spirk, destiel, and gallavich at the very least

favorite trope: past friends to enemies to lovers with a big slow burn on the path between the being lovers and eventually embracing their old friendship along with their newly developed love

favorite candy: reese's! although when i lived in the uk for 8yrs it was curly wurly's all day

favorite flower: iris, tulip, bleeding hearts

a song you love: 'city of gold' by orville peck || all that i want is a kind heart to haunt / my shrink says it ain't too much to ask

a movie you adore: when harry met sally!

red or pink? i live an excessively pink life

breakfast in bed or brunch at a cafe? brunch! YUM

romantic comedy or angsty drama? i'm very very picky about romantic comedies but i also love the ones that get it right (see: when harry met sally, you've got mail, the holiday, love actually, the proposal)

and finally, in the spirit of love, leave some kind words for your followers & friends: thank you so much to those who have welcomed me into a new fandom. i'm so anxious to intrude in spaces where i feel like i don't belong (in life & all things since forever) but you all are so warm, kind, thoughtful, and uplifting. my days have been so much brighter since i properly returned to tumblr.

[kiinard]

💖Macy's Valentine's Tag Game Tuesday!❤️

shoutout to macy @celestialmickey for the tag game gems! tagged by the babes, julissa @heymrspatel

relationship status: single but yEaRninG

your ultimate OTP: gallavich, boreo, destiel, jily (yknow i can’t pick just one! 🤭)

favorite trope: enemies to lovers, mutual pining, forbidden love

favorite candy: DOTS

favorite flower: irises, forget me nots 💐

a song you love: lovestruck lobotomy by Voilà

a movie you adore: bohemian rhapsody (2018)

red or pink? pink, like pastel pink, salmon pink and rose gold 🦩

breakfast in bed or brunch at a cafe? café brunch (but there better mimosas!)

romantic comedy or angsty drama? ANGST

and finally, in the spirit of love, leave some kind words for your followers & friends: i love all you mutual besties! Talking and interacting with all of you can always make me smile! You lovelies deserve all the hugs in the world! *squeeze* 🤗

[icecream-and-gadreel]

Chapter 1: Family ties

Series Summary: Jack goes missing days after his father betrays their family by joining another syndicate. Everyone suspects Lucifer but instead of sitting around wondering, Castiel goes to the best detective he knows: Dean Winchester. The cynical detective has lost his lust for life and doesn't want to make his miserable days anymore miserable by being caught between the two biggest crime families in the country. Ever persuasive, Castiel is able to recruit him and start a relationship that neither of them expected.

Summary: Castiel can't bite his tongue around his family anymore. Meanwhile, Dean thinks about retirement up until he finds that his agency has been broken in to.

Pairing: Destiel

Other characters: Samandriel, Sam, Gabriel, Jack(Mentioned), Lucifer(Mentioned) Max, Cassie(Mentioned) Charlie (Mentioned)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence, guns, smoking, death mention, threats

Word count: 2800+

A/N: Thank you to my amazing beta @cajunquandry, I appreciate you making this fic sparkle! Anyways I am obsessed with Noir films and bamf!Castiel, so why not feed into both? Enjoy!

Masterlist

Three days missing

Castiel

Cigarette smoke fogs the room, the sound of jazz music combatting the chattering crowd. Sitting in the corner of the bar is Castiel, swirling his beer mindlessly.

It's driving him insane.

His family, all crowded around him, celebrates some meaningless victory and pretend like nothing is wrong. The absolute disregard for Jack's disappearance is enough to make him want to snap. But he doesn't. Instead, he swirls his beer and avoids the looks from his brothers. Samandriel stares at him from across the bar, babysitting a glass of water. He seems to be the only other person that gives a damn. Castiel begins raising to his feet, halting when Sam sits next to him. Sighing, Castiel sinks back into his seat.

“Hey,” Sam says, rolling his sleeves up. Castiel grunts in response, setting his beer down and leaning back in his seat.

“You came.”

“Yeah, uh Gabriel wouldn't stop calling the office so...” Sam shrugs, gesturing for the bartender. He orders a shot of vodka, clearing his throat. “You ok?” he asks, patting Castiel's back.

“Far from it,” he retorts, flicking his eyes to the other man. “He's gone. No trace, no signs, just vanished. I'd feel better if there was a body.”

Sam nods, downing his shot with a huff. “I get it –”

“Do you?,” he snaps, glancing over his shoulder before continuing. “All they talk about is 'loyalty' and 'putting the family first', but the moment it really counts they're nowhere to be seen,” he growls.

Sam nods. “No, I get it, I do,” he says, nodding once more. Before Castiel can respond, Gabriel is throwing his arms around them.

“Stop being a fucking buzz kill!” Gabriel whines, tssking his younger brother. Castiel shakes out of his grasp, whirling around toward the crowd. Gabriel offers him a bottle of whiskey, wiggling his eyebrows. “Live a little, baby bro.”

Snatching the bottle away, Castiel stands from his seat, gaining whoops and hollers from his family.

“Castiel –”

“My nephew,” he begins, cutting Sam off. The crowd goes quiet. “Our nephew has disappeared from the face of the earth.” Castiel swigs from the bottle, a river of liquor running down his neck. “Could be dead or worse.” He smashes the bottle against the ground and Sam flinches back, a look of concern crossing his face. “Excuse me if I'm not 'chipper',” he adds, a faux-smile on his face. The room is silent, even the music has stopped. Castiel stares around at the sea of shocked faces, his chest heaving as the anger bubbles inside of him. “You're all full of shit. Being with family only matters to you when it's fun!”

Sam stands from his seat, patting Castiel's back. “I think we should go,” he whispers, flinching when Gabriel clears his throat.

“Look, we all know Lucifer has him, can't take him from his dad now can we?” Gabriel asks.

They could. All they'd have to do is find the bastard, tell him to give Jack up, and take him home. Castiel considers telling Gabriel this, but heads for the door instead. He ignores the protests from his family, tucking his hands into his pockets and making his way down the road. He pulls a lighter from his pocket with a huff. He looks over his shoulder at the sounds of a car approaching, rolling his eyes. 

“Need a ride?” Sam asks, easing the car to a stop. Silently, Castiel leans against the hood of the car, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket. “Come on, get in.”

“No, get out.” Sighing, Sam pulls his keys out of the ignition, sulking over to him with a cocked smile. “The detective,” he says, flicking his eyes up to Sam.

“My...brother?” Sam asks, shaking his head when Castiel nods. “It's not gonna happen.”

“He was able to get to Michael. I still don't know how he got close enough,” he says, resting a hand on Sam's arm. “What I do know is if anyone could find Jack, it's him.”

“It's not gonna happen,” he repeats, stiffening as Castiel squeezes his shoulder. “Dean doesn't deal with the mafia,” he adds.

“Please. It's like I'm the only one who gives a damn,” he says, gently rubbing Sam's arm. “I can't do this alone,” he adds. Sam melts under the touch, as he always does, and darts his eyes away.

“It's not that easy,” he mumbles. Castiel flicks his cigarette away before bracing Sam's other arm, a stone look on his face.

“An address. That's all I need. If he says no, then I'll leave,” he says. Sam rolls his eyes and gently urges Castiel's hands away.

“Only if you go back to the bar with me.” Sam points behind himself. “You owe me a shot.” Castiel hums, shrugging.

“Fine.”

–

Four days missing

Castiel stares down at the sloppily written address, squinting his eyes. The ink is smudged thanks to Gabriel spilling a drink all over the napkin, but he thinks he has the right place. He rubs a hand over his eye, trying to shake away his hangover. Never again will he challenge his overgrown lawyer to a drinking contest. He stares down at the address once more, glancing up when he hears humming. A man with caramel skin makes his way to the building, pulling out a set of keys. After opening the door, he disappears into the building. 

Glancing around, Castiel draws his gun, jogging across the street and ducking into a nearby crevice. Minutes later the delivery man is reemerging. He sets down his sack of packages and sorts through the keys once more. Castiel creeps up behind him, pressing his gun into the other man's back.

“Don't scream,” he says, voice calm. The man obliges, slowly raising his hands up. “What's your name?”

“Max,” he grunts, looking over his shoulder with a sigh. “I don't carry my wallet, but I think someone ordered a blender,” he says dryly, nodding to the bag.

“I need to get into this building,” he says in a near whisper.

“You couldn't just ask?”

“Would you have let me in?” he retorts. Max shakes his head, sorting through the keys once more and opening the door. He leads Castiel inside, hands still in the air. “Come with me.”

“Why?” Max grows, shooting him a glare. Castiel opens the door to the detective's office, pushing Max in first. The room feels claustrophobic; the mess on the floor and desk isn't helping. It smells faintly of cigarettes and warm cologne. Castiel looks at each corner, noting that there aren't any cameras. He sinks down into the spinning chair behind the desk, gesturing at Max with his gun.

“I'm a very good shot,” he begins, opening a drawer and digging around. “But if I happen to miss, I will find you, and if I find you, things will be much less pleasant than they are now.”

“Wow, you're a blast to deal with,” Max says, leaning against the wall.

Castiel grabs a picture of a stoic man and a curly haired woman from the desk, his gun still aimed at Max. “I've been told recently that I'm not,” he says, furrowing his brow. They both share a solemn look. Dean, he assumes, looks far more intense than Sam described him. He flips the photo over, chuckling under his breath. 'The wife and I try to be serious for once. Didn't work. September '48'. he turns the picture once more, observing Dean before getting back to his main mission. Cameras. Bugs. Recorders. Anything a cop could use to get him caught up. He squats down, running his hand underneath the desk.

“...flies in.”

Castiel frowns, looking up at the source of the voice. His throat runs dry as he trails his eyes over the man before him. Black pants that cling to his bow-legs. A button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, revealing freckle kissed skin. His face falls into a frown, his cherry red lips parted. Castiel forces himself to look away, glancing down at the picture.

Dean.

Dean

Dean tosses a burger on Sam's desk, a toothy grin on his face.

“Mornin' sunshine,” he cooes, gaining a groan from Sam. “Come on, grease is the hangover miracle cure.”

“I just need sleep and...copious amounts of coffee,” the younger Winchester groans, slowly rising from his desk. “...And to never drink again,” he adds, eyeing the burger.

“Yeah, leave it to the professionals buddy,” Dean says, shooting him a wink. Sam furrows his brow and unwraps his burger as he leaves his office.

“Any new cases?”

Dean hums, following Sam out and staring at the sky. The last case had ended with him locking one of the Novak brothers up, and sending another one running for the hills. The months to follow have been almost stagnant. “I think it's time,” he says. Sam bites into his burger, cocking an eyebrow at him. “You know, retirement. No more catching politicians in motels, just me and Baby.”

Sam scoffs. “Yeah, ok.”

“What? I'm serious!” Dean says, gesturing to the air. “Look at this, Sammy,” he says. The sky is blue with few clouds painting the sky. Cars are racing down the street, along with many people hustling on the sidewalks. “I don't get to enjoy this beautiful city anymore.”

Sam chuckles, glancing around. “Someone peed on this 'beautiful' sidewalk,” he says, pointing to a spot on the ground. Dean hops over it, staring at the stain as he passes. “But yeah, you're missing out,” Sam chuckles.

“Ha. I think it'll be good for me, though,” Dean says, stroking a finger along his jaw. “Solving crimes, angry convicts just waiting to catch me in a dark alley. I don't like it anymore.” Sam frowns, tossing the last bite of his burger into his mouth.

“All you've ever talked about is helping people.”

“Yeah, well.” Dean pauses, darting his tongue over his lip. “Just doesn't get me out of bed like it used to,” he says, glancing at his brother. The younger Winchester gives him his trademark puppy dog eyes, making him huff. “What?”

“Being cooped up in the house all day thinking of Cassie isn't healthy, Dean.” He speaks slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Dean's. “Neither is drinking yourself to sleep and waking up next to random strippers. The agency is the only thing that kept you sane,” he adds. Dean chuckles, his chest tightening at the mention of her. At the office. Sitting at home. It doesn't matter, the only person on his mind will always be her. He twists the wedding ring around on his finger, forcing out a laugh.

“You'd make a better shrink than a lawyer.”

“Fine, let's say you quit, what about Charlie? She needs the job and you know it,” Sam says. Dean purses his lips with a shrug. As he approaches his agency, his face sinks. The door is wide open, and on the side of the door sits Max's parcel bag.

“Wait here,” Dean grunts, gaining a perplexed look in return. Slowly, he pokes his head into the door, scanning his eyes over the room. Nothing seems disturbed, save for his door being left open. He scratches his scruff, eyeing the door to his office. Cracked open. “Max, you left the door open,” he yells, making his way toward his office. “Gonna let flies in...” his voice trails away at the scene before him. Max, standing in the corner with his hands up. A vaguely familiar man digging in his desk with a gun aimed at the delivery man. The man stares at Dean silently, blue eyes dancing.

“Go,” the man says, waving his gun at Max. He reluctantly walks out of the room, hands still in the air. “Are there any bugs?” he asks, voice rasping. Dean slowly makes his way to a bottle of whiskey sitting on the window seal, shaking his head.

“Had a couple roaches a while back, other than that, no,” he says, grabbing two glasses. He sets them on his desk, filling the glasses half-way with the liquor. “Dean Winchester. Am I looking at a new client?”

“I hope so,” he says, reluctantly tucking his gun into the back of his pants. Dean offers the man a cup of whiskey, sipping from his own. “This isn't how I imagined this interaction going.”

“I figure either you shoot me, or you pay me. Neither sounds bad these days,” he says, chuckling. The other man remains silent. “So...wife's cheating? Boss stealing from the company? What's the case?”

“A missing person, my nephew,” he says, making his way around the desk. Dean grabs a pen and a piece of crumpled paper, leaning on his desk.

“Fun. What's he look like?” Dean asks.

“Brown hair. About 5'10''. Twenty-two. Blue eyes...” He gulps down his whiskey, wiping his mouth afterward. “I just need to know that Jack is alive.”

Dean jots down a few notes, nodding to himself. “Right, and what's your name?” he asks. The other man pauses, looking to the ground. Dean stares at him silently, rolling his wrist when the man doesn't say anything. “You know, like the thing people call you?”

“Castiel,” he says, biting his lip. “Castiel Novak.”

Dean tosses the pen and paper, clasping his hands together. “There it is. I don't work with murderers. If you need a lawyer, my brother's always taking new clients,” he says, gesturing to the door. “Have a good one.”

Castiel takes a step closer. “Sam is the reason I'm here. I'm out of options.”

“Look, I feel for you, I really do but I'll be damned if I get involved with the mafia,” he says, holding his hands up and shaking his head.

“Who said anything about the mafia?”

“You do realize that I locked up Michael, right?” Dean asks. Castiel clenches his jaw, huffing. 

“Jack doesn't deserve to be ignored because of what his family is 'allegedly' involved in,” he says,taking a step closer to Dean. “Name a number, any ridiculous price and it's yours.”

Chuckling, the Winchester crosses his arms over. “I don't take blood money.” He nods to the door. “See ya,” he adds. Sam jogs into the room, staring between the two men with raised eyebrows.

“Hey, what's up with Max?” Sam asks, frowning when his eyes land on Castiel. “Oh, you've met.”

“Yup. We met and now he’s on his way out,” Dean says, sipping his liquor before setting the cup down. Castiel pinches the bridge of his nose, chest heaving. Wordlessly, he pulls his gun out, aiming it at Dean.

“I don't think you understand the position you're in.”

“Woah, hey,” Sam says, holding his hands up to Castiel. “Let's calm down.”

“I don't have time for this. I need help, Dean.”

Dean cracks a grin, tilting his head. “I already told you my answer. Burn down my business, shoot me, whatever. I've got nothing to lose.”

“Yeah?” Castiel returns his smile, turning the gun on Sam. “Well, You've got him,” he says. Dean stands from his desk, his smile being replaced with a grimace. “Lay his life on the line, and I'll know you stand for nothing.”

“Castiel,” Sam says, hurt apparent in his tone.

“You love pointing that thing around, huh?” Dean asks, voice wavering. Castiel stares at him blankly, cocking his gun.

“Might I remind you that I've been accused of allegedly killing men for much less. Imagine what I'd hypothetically do to him to gain your cooperation, Detective,” he says. A look of hurt crosses Sam's face, and he turns his eyes to the elder Winchester, letting out a heaving breath. Castiel raises his eyebrows, turning his gun to the ceiling and firing off a round. “In case you thought it wasn't loaded.”

Dean looks between both men, swiping a hand over his face. When Castiel points the gun at Sam, Dean holds his hands out to him. “I'll do it,” he blurts, heart pounding in his chest. Smiling, Castiel de-cocks his gun, looking between both men.

“Thank you, I'll be here first thing tomorrow.”

Eternity squad: @sheinthatfandom​​ @greenshinigamieyes @lipstickandwhiskey @feelmyroarrrr @bcarolinablr @mrswhozeewhatsis @mssunnyone

[gaytedlasso]

Tagged by my beloved fellow elliot @redleavesinthewind

Last song: Lost on You - LP

Last movie: Technically the last movie I watched was A Goofy Movie, which I’ve seen 20x this week cuz it’s my nephew’s current favorite. Last movie I watched by choice was Call Me By Your Name.

Last show: Last new show was Midnight Mass. Currently rewatching Grace & Frankie for the 50th time.

Currently reading: One Million Fires Burning by dothraki_shieldmaiden, a destiel teachers au that’s enemies to friends to lovers. I’m like 1/3 of the way through it and loving it so far.

Currently working on: I’ve got like 20 spn WIPs and more planned in my brain. But I’m most actively working on a drawing to post tomorrow as a finale fix-it.

Favorite color: orange

Sweet/savory/spicy: spicy alwayssss.

Coffee/tea/cocoa: my brain auto filled this as “coffee, tea or me?” and now I wanna go reread that fic… anyways, the answer is coffee. I literally never drink tea or cocoa.

Currently craving: a normal sleeping schedule. And weed.

Tagging: @doemons-blog @castielsupernatural @howldean @youcaneven

[darkmisstressofunknown]

A WARNING to know before you follow or plan to follow. Content may contain A/B/O Dynamics, Mpreg, NSFW texts/pictures. I DON’T tag art because it can be flagged. SPOILERS will be tagged appropriately so mute or filter it out.

POSITIVE and/or SUPPORTER of the following:

Heller 

Destiel 

Dean Winchester 

Castiel 

Jensen Ackles 

Misha Collins 

Top/Alpha Dean 

Bottom/Omega Castiel  

Supernatural current & future works in the SPN universe

The Winchesters 

NOT a NEGATIVE and/or SUPPORTER of the following: 

Anti - Heller or Wincest 

Anti - Destiel 

Anti - Dean Winchester 

Anti - Castiel 

Anti - Jensen Ackles 

Anti - Misha Collins 

Bottom/Omega Dean 

Top/Alpha Castiel

Anti - Supernatural current & future works in the SPN universe 

Anti - The Winchesters

Dean & Cas are my favorite characters; neither is above the other. Fixed tops & bottoms don’t like switching, but won’t hate on it either.

Don’t hate Jensen’s & Misha’s respective partners. RPF is not my thing, but I don’t condemn anyone who does. Blog contains Cockles “content” I’m Cockles POSITIVE just don’t label it that way.

We as a fandom are NOT entitled to anyone’s sexual orientation/identify or relationship status. For this reason I don’t tag as Cockles, but as Jensen and Misha.

Suffers from...Dean & Castiel Winchester Derangement Syndrome

Suffers from...Jensen Ackles & Misha Collins Derangement Syndrome

There is nothing wrong with respecting celebrities/public figures for their talents & achievements, but they are also human with flaws. Don’t police others choices on who they support or don’t it’s their decision not yours.

Primarily a SPN blog, but will post other fandoms every blue moon. Such as boys love/yaoi, or whatever catches my attention. For my other main ships I have created separate sideblogs to focus on. 

Miscellaneous Tumblr Sideblogs

SasuNaru // Eruri // Thorki // Stucky

Reminder celebrities/public figures are human too

Safe place for anyone who falls under these categories or communities. I support the following movements or choices:

LGBTQIA+ 

Black Lives Matter

Mental Health 

Pro-Choice

Pro-Vaccine

Women & Equal Rights

Anti-Ableism

Spoonies  

Critical Race Theory

WON’T be tolerant of anything that falls under these categories. Don’t support the following movements or choices:

Racism

Homophobia

Transphobia

Sexism

Ableism

Anti-Semitism

Islamophobia 

Discrimination against POC

We’re entitled to our opinions & beliefs even if they differ from one another. We don’t have to agree to remain civil. If you don’t like anything on here feel free to block. Won’t interact with hate or answer to it.

Start a Conversation

If you want to talk I ask that you send one on another social media platform listed under Linktree. I don’t like using the Tumblr messaging system. 

Condensed Master List of Tags

Tumblr Mobile Masterlist // Linktree

Items Created for Me by some Amazing Individuals 

Diminuel SPN - Destiel: Angel Family Dean, Cas & Baby Jack // Vampire Dean & Human Lover Cas, // Family Trip Dean, Cas, kid Emma & twin babies Jack & Claire 

Inacatastrophicmind SPN - Destiel: Gif Set Destiel parallels Cain x Colette 

Shikaraiki Naruto - SasuNaru: Big Ole Happy Family // Playing With The Devil

SoldierBoys Big Sky - Beau Arlen: Gif Set Bingo Card

My Writing

An Angel’s Conviction - Dean is a Knight of Hell he’s enjoying his newfound freedom. Although he misses Cas, he won’t let himself be captured once again to be cured. However, his freedom has a price Crowley requires his obedience, but he won’t give up control. Cast out he heads back home for his angel. He’s unaware of his impending death or the plan to use the Lance of Michael to jumpstart the angelic qualities he possesses to save him. When he arrives, changes occur that finally bring him and Cas together as their intertwined future begins. [Explicit, Top Dean x Bottom Cas, Mpreg, HEA, Complete]

This post will be continuously updated or modified as individual projects or tags are added on the master list. 

[louisdotmp3]

SEPTEMBER 2021 - month in review & monthly favorites

hello my costumed mutuals, i hope all ur urls are right even though i find it difficult to know who u are when ur all dressed up !

colorsnatural

laz rising cas

stackednatural: [5.01] [5.01 bonus] [1.01] [5.02] [4.01] [1.02] [7.01] [7.01 bonus] [6.01] [6.01 bonus] [5.03] [5.03 bonus] [5.03 bonus 2] [5.03 bonus 3] [4.02]

5.02 pink & green

pilot in purple lovers 8.02 in blue sleeby dean you're in the car with a beautiful boy all you can eat

video lover - samjess

other fakepaintingnatural [four] [five] [six] [seven] [eight] [nine] [ten] SPN Screencap Preeset Pack: Bi Colors Edition

SEPTEMBER FAVORITES

edits dean collage & cas + put it on me by @demonmojo

salvation by @untoldblisses

sympathy for the devil poster by @weirdkelsey

lazarus rising collage by @its-maddiec

i'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition by @limpwristedean

castiel + city grown willow by @dearcas

web weaving lebanon + the tower of nero by @makingitupaswego

pilot + fire warning poster by @alivegirllazarus

all hell breaks loose part 2 + pet semetary by @1x12faith

gifs pilot by @creeepycas

pilot + house of the rising sun & heaven must be missing an angel & lazarus rising by @seraphcastiel

8.02 purgatory by @becauseofthebowties

videos castiel + soldier, poet king by @crystal-doesnt-watch-spn

lazarus rising + an act of kindness by @hauntedhousesoftheholy

the night we met but it's the night they met by @ciderdean

writing is it worse to be betrayed by god or by your father by @fearlastyear

strandlines by @gravelghosts (aka aeli_kindara on ao3)

playlists rake and rambling boy i looove u: a dean folk playlist by @slashermary

art lazarus rising by @kittrose

spn moments but abstract: the fall of the angels, & trueform angel radio/untranslated revelation, castiel gripping dean tight and raising him from perdition by @roxyandelsewhere

kid sam + dean by @nyangel-catstiel dean + cas by @all-or-nothing-baby

various drafts, & castiel by @deansbian

neon angel by @mjulmjul

destiel but it's by klimt by @dadcas

green dean by @babyjackolantern

stacked sketch: dead in the water by @themanwhowouldbefruit

twine ball + cas art from strandlines by @destielamv

castiel by @thursdxyangel

if you ever want me to reblog something of yours, you can use my tracking tag #useremmaj so i can see it + like it + reblog it ! 💖🎃

[anthonycrowleymoved]

I know this is old discourse but in light of destiel becoming canon, what are your thoughts on neil gaiman not allowing Crowley and Aziraphale to be gay lovers? He said that they're angels, not men, so is that supposed to imply that they're not gay simply cuz they're non-binary (so they're asexual)? I just wanna know if they'e in love or not lol. I ship them so much.

yeah okay this is gonna have to be tagged neil discourse because thinking about this over a year later i’m still mad huh

so like. i know very well what he said at the time. he was basically like, and i’m paraphrasing but that’s because i simply do not care enough to give a direct quote but on twitter he was like ‘oh well angels don’t UNDERSTAND human concepts like GENDER and SEXUAL ATTRACTION so NO they’re NOT GAY’ and then someone was like ‘but they’re in love right?’ and he was like ‘of course.’ right? everyone agrees that’s what happened right after the show aired? and like, okay, i’m not going to begrudge people seeing this as representative of themselves if they’re nb and/or ace, that’s cool and fine, and you do you. i find it interesting that i saw a ton more criticism about it on here than on twitter, but that’s probably just more indicative of who i’m following and how much i’m on here than anything else. anyway.

let’s break this bullshit down and explain piece by piece why i think neil’s quote unquote representation in gomens is a hot garbage fire and why it kind of rubbed me the wrong way from the moment i saw it.

1. he posted it on twitter. he wrote the script and could have like, you know, put it into the show, if them being In Love was like, actually part of the story. he had the ability to do that. gomens was already going to piss off right wing groups because of how it treats religion, this wasn’t something i legitimately think amazon/the beeb would have just said ‘no’ to if neil was serious about it. mean, maybe that’s a bit far into conspiracy territory, but i truly believe if they really wanted to make azcrow canon the one person who could have managed getting a scene would have been the author/showrunner. and because he didn’t if you’re a casual viewer who’s not fucking following his goddamned twitter seeing gay representation is now a rorschach test

‘they don’t adhere to human ways of thinking about gender and sexuality’ MANY THOUGHTS HERE but let’s start with

2. i think hallie originally said this and neil i know you wrote the book but like. did you read the book neil. because i thought one of the main points of it was that aziraphale and crowley had effectively ‘gone native’ and saw themselves more like humans than like celestial beings. and they’d been on earth for all of human history. it’s a bad take i’m sorry i know he literally wrote it but like really. really.

3. look i’m nb and i’d love some nb rep. but that was not nb rep. those were two cis male actors playing (largely) male presenting characters with absolutely no in-text indications that they aren’t cis. there’s one (a few? god it’s been a minute since i watched the show) character referred to by singular ‘they’ and it’s not aziraphale or crowley. and like, look, i get that in real life there’s nb people who don’t go by gender neutral pronouns and that’s cool and fine because that’s what those people feel inside. but, like, this isn’t real life, it’s a tv show, and referring to male presenting characters as he/him and then occasionally putting them in feminine clothing isn’t representation because people who aren’t looking for that kind of representation aren’t going to see it, they’re going to see a joke about a man in a dress

4. and i’m not ace so i can’t speak on that, but i do remember at the time ace people being like ‘that....was not ace rep’ so like, make of that what you will. again, i’m not going to tell you you can’t see them as nb and/or ace, but like, i’m just asking you, was that really representation? like, was it? in your heart like, would you have been happy with that representation if neil didn’t tell you it was representation? because if you’re just starved for content, that’s FINE, you’re ALLOWED, all i’m asking you is to not praise the creator for doing fuck all.

5. ‘of course [they’re in love]’ again where??? where??? where is it neil. where is it in the actual text of the show. like there’s in text evidence that they love each other platonically and there’s lots of jokes made by other characters but like. i hate to say that but that’s it. i don’t know why this off the cusp response still makes my blood boil but boy does it

6. i don’t want to go looking for it because i’ve done that like six times but there’s a post on neil’s tumblr from before the show dropped about how there would be moments that people who ship it would be happy with but it wouldn’t become canon. you can look it up i swear he said that in like....december of 2018ish? something like that. which, again, is fine on its own, but combined with the fact that after he was like ‘lmao that’s what i was going for’......not my favorite look

what i’m saying is like, if he wanted to create an actual queer narrative he could have but he just like, chose not to and then when he realized he could have people watching his show just because they’re thirsty for representation that isn’t there i think he went ‘oh i’ll jk rowling this’ i don’t KNOW that that’s what happened but, like, that’s what it looks like to me.

i used to regularly refer to the “representation” in gomens as nu-queerbaiting, which i still like as a term, because to me it’s the person in charge (not the actors, usually, unless they have some say in the writing process) going, oh no they’re totally in love with each other totally trust me :) and then like, they’re not, not really, not to the people who like, watch the show but don’t fucking follow the author on twitter. and that’s. i’m sorry, that’s not canon to me.

and, to be honest, how this is presented honestly makes me more angry than if it was just maybe in-universe wink wink nudge nudge, because i’m USED to queerbaiting and i know that like, almost nothing ever ever ever comes of it and i get it and i like having fun anyways, so i deal. and like, i was a book fan before the show came out. the book was written in the late 80s, and i knew that it wasn’t going to be anywhere near as gay as the fandom has made that work for thirty goddamned years, and i was fine with that. like, going into it, i joked, but it was fine because it was a relatively faithful adaption of a book i like. i wasn’t looking for gay representation, even though i ship aziraphale and crowley.

but like, there was this wave of people who came looking for representation, and the show is so vague on that concept that they saw it, but it’s like. it’s not actually really there. there’s no one saying ‘yes they’re really irl in love.’ there’s two male-presenting characters who COULD be in love, if you choose to view it like that, but maybe aren’t. and like, that’s FINE, on it’s own, but i hate that someone in a position of power said ‘no you’re right lmao’ even though he didn’t do shit. it was made in 2019. queer representation should be better than that. i’m not patting neil on the back for doing literally nothing.

so like, tldr: yeah the rep is bad in my opinion!!! it’s not good!!!! i don’t like how neil handled it and it’s gross!!!! i hope this answers your question!!!!

anyway that being said azcrow is such a good ship anyway, so like, why does it matter if they’re canon? ship em anyways no one can stop me from doing it even though how it was handled by the actual creator is a garbage fire when you look at it for more than like, thirty seconds. like......why must a ship be ‘canon’? is it not enough to read a book and see two celestial beings, in love with humanity?

[hawkland]

(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5

This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.

Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k)  - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas. 

What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)

The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.

Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.

Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.

But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.

Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.

The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.

And now on to some other authors, I promise!

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)

Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.

Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)

flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.

this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.

Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!