#tag this as a ship post and i’ll fucking Get You

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Last Christmas

♥ masterlist | request rules | 12 days of ficmas

♥ pairing: ex!lando norris x fem!reader x oscar piastri

♥ synopsis: last christmas was vulnerable. even more so after you opened up to your best friend lando and him comforting you turned into his confession of love... but the next morning a picture of his girlfriend—whom he never told you about, was the first thing you saw. out of what you'd call destiny, you befriend the two people he's closest too: his teammate and his new girlfriend.

♥ smau - fc: women on pinterest - as always none of the pictures are mine

♥ warnings: swearing !!!

♥ a/n: lando is a bit of a dick in this but it’s only bc its important for the plot lmao! <3

-Christmas Eve, 2023-

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by carmenmundt, georgerussell63, charles_leclerc, and more

yourusername when you’re insecure could be me could be her, you just run to whoever is winning 

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user1 alright who broke our girl’s heart

user2 i’ll break his face

alexandrasaintmleux 🫂

lilymhe love you 🫶 call me whenever you need 

iamrebeccad we’re here for you ❤️

user3 guys WHAT HAPPENED 😭

user4 @/user3 whatever it was is clearly huge because all of the wags are here

user5 oh so this person SUCKS sucks

user6 the sabrina lyrics

user8 SAID THAT IT WAS ME AND YOU FOR LIFE !!

user9 NOW YOURE KINDA ACTIN LIKE I DIED!!

user10 my wife is getting her heart broken by a man 😞

user11 not the mascara running girl he didn't deserve you anyway whoever he was

carmenmundt if you need anything I'll always be here <3

yourusername ty carmen 💋

user12 i know lando just hard launched his girlfriend but i hope he’s still able to be there for yn 😓

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by landonorris, yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,019,943 more

mclaren who’s ready for bahrain?

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iamimogen me !

♡ by landonorris

yourusername i’ll be there as always <3

oscarpiastri it’s been a while! can’t wait to see you again

user1 awww osc

mclaren what oscar said!!

blondie_wdj @/yourusername you’re always welcome in the garage

user2 being best friends with a driver means your also best friends with his engineer

blondie_wdj @/user2 so true

user3 i can’t wait to see lando’s gf in the paddock

user5 and her and y/n to be friends

user6 I hope there's no tension between them

user7 @/user6 lets not pit women against each other before they've even met !!

user9 where's yn's man

yourusername no idea 😔

liked by oscarpiastri, francisca.cgomes, lilymhe, and 130,583 more

yourusername after party

tagged; @/oscarpiastri

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user1 STOP is that imogen?

user2 she’s so hot i fear 🫣

oscarpiastri finally made it onto your ig 🙏 I used to dream of days like this

yourusername you are now one of my elite employees

user8 the way lando isn't even in the pictures lmaooo

yourusername @/user8 he wasn't approved by the council

user3 so here for ynoscar tbh

user4 that's what I've been SAYING

user5 so glad lando has a gf so yall finally stop shipping her w him and let the oscarinas have something

iamimogen great to meet you 💕

♡ by yourusername

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Time Skip-

liked by iamimogen, user2, user8, and more

f1gossip y/n and imogen were spotted hanging out all night after the monaco grand prix. could this be the beginning of a new friendship?

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user1 I BEG YOUR FINEST PAEDON?!

user4 they're so fucking cute oh my god

user2 i love it when the girl bsf and gf are besties 🥹

user9 it's mr steal your girl

user8 Imogen break up with your boyfriend ‼️

user7 yn lando Imogen poly when

...comments have now been disabled

-Hungarian Grand Prix-

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, oscarpiastri, georgerussell63, and 495,603 more

yourusername BUDAPEST, HUNGARY 📍

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user1 @/oscarpiastri again

user2 how did you recognize him by just his back? 😭

user3 crying because why is yn posting oscar more than lando posts his girlfriend

user4 RIGHT? I don't think I've seen her once on his main or jpg but Imogen posts him all the time :/

user5 its kind of weird since lando used to post dozens of pictures of yn

user6 anyone else notice that he hasn't liked or commented on any of yn's posts in months or am I insane?

user5 @/user6 YES I HAVE

user8 guys I think they went through a friendship break up or something

user4 @/user8 do you think its because of Imogen?

user8 @/user4 maybe

user6 @/user4 I don't think so since yn is with her all the time. I just haven't seen yn talk to lando publicly since last year

mclaren it's always nice to see you!

yourusername valid: all days paddock pass when?

mclaren 👀

user9 hungary is such a random race to go to lol

user10 she's mclaren's good luck charm trust

liked by oscarpiastri, iamimogen, mclaren, and 100,894 more

yourusername YESSSSiogvdrs;okfeLI

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user1 SHES SO US

user7 SCREAMING

user3 ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE FACT THEY LET YN STAND DOWN THERE

user2 honorary wag !!

user4 oh the sheer amount of pictures she took of him

user5 that's a proud girlfriend if I've ever seen one

user6 she didn't even greet lando...

user10 she was probably caught up in the moment

user6 @/user10 me when I lie

user10 HELPPP 😭 I don't want to admit her and lando aren't hanging out anymore... they were literally best friends

user9 lets focus on the positives: oscar won and he's 100% into yn

-F1 Winter Break-

liked by landonorris, yourusername, and 403,859 more

iamimogen loving winter 🤍

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user1 she’s SO gorgeous

yourusername the prettiest

iamimogen @/yourusername no you!!

user2 stop i still love that her and yn get along 🥹

user3 right they’re so sweet

landonorris ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux stunning

iamimogen 💋

francisca.cgomes hottie

iamimogen love you 😘

liked by yourusername, landnonorris, lilyzneimer, and 203,586 more

iamimogen I'm dreaming of a pink christmas

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user1 lando you need to step up your game

user2 him STILL not posting pictures about her is crazy...

user3 EXACTLY

user4 the way they've been publicly a couple for a year 💀

user7 pink pilates princess core

iamimogen you know it

user12 I feel like I'm the only one who thinks her and lando are cute 😭

user6 no they're cute there's just something... off?

user10 @/user6 exactly. I love them but what the fuck is going on with them and yn

user9 the only place were gonna find lando and yn together these days is Imogen's likes

user5 LMAO

liked by oscarpiastri, iamimogen, francisca.cgomes, and 295,057 more

yourusername photo dump 🩰🎀

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user20 @/iamimogen not yn copying you 💀

yourusername omg i had no idea she invented the color pink. @/iamimogen i’m so sorry queen i had no idea 🫶

iamimogen @/yourusername that’s ok just make sure to give creds next time ❤️

user1 PLSSS they’re so unserious

user2 im obsessed with their friendship wait 

user3 they’re so fucking funny

user4 OSCYN HARD LAUNCH I REPEAT OSCYN HARD LAUNCH

user5 oh I fucking knew it

user6 its a christmas miracle

liked by oscarpiastri, iamimogen, lilymhe, and 948,840 more

yourusername stole your boy and your girl

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user1 THE GASP I GUSPT

user4 jaw is on the floor.

user3 LEAVING THE COMMENTS ON IS CRAZYYY

user5 what a bad bitch move

user7 SHUT UPPPP

user6 so this all WAS about lando?! I'm genuinely so curious now I need to know what he did!?!?!?

user8 oh my god yn is my favorite person

user9 y'all remember that post of her like sobbing last year? was that about lando...?

user10 FUCK OFF IMAGINE IT IS

user12 begging for a story time

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

end notes: i’m really fighting my demons (the urge to make a part two where yn ends up with imogen…) anyways I'm back with super late christmas fics haha !! they'll all be posted out of order from now on lmao

taglist; @sainzzreputaticn @theseerbetweenus @yawn-zi

[superimpulsive]

Getting excited to see a ship fic for Dean with literally any other character only for it to turn out that the character is now inexplicably abusive and Cas has to come in and save Dean from them

[piptoost]

Get Brendon Urine OFFFFFFFF MY FYP. HE’S LIKE A CURSE. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY REEL ACCOUNTS WITH HIS VINES AND ITS LIKE “daily_bagle_boys” OR LIKE “daily_brendon_shock” LIKE GO AWAY DEMON. AWAY BEAST, BACK BACK I SAY 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

[prettyboykatsuki]

YOU’VE GOT THE CURE (EVERYTHING I NEED) | B. KATSUKI. 

✮ tags ; gn + afab!reader, soft dom!reader, sub!bakaugou, developing relationships, mutual pining and ambiguous relationships, anal play (m!recieving), dry orgasms, p in v, unprotected sex, 18+

✮ wc ; 6.7k

✮ a/n ; an anon comission from a beloved mutual im posting. also just dropping in to say hello

✮ synopsis ; katsuki is too fucking young to have erectile dysfunction, damn it.

“Hey.” 

“Hm?” 

The sound of your typing is especially loud in the empty office. It’s a Saturday and neither of you are supposed to be clocked in, but when duty calls - it’s up to the two of you to answer. 

“...I’m going to tell you something. If you so much as fucking laugh I will kill you.”

You don’t look up from your screen.

“Well that’s one way to start a sentence. I’ll try not to laugh.”

Katsuki slams his hand on the desk. 

“I’m being serious,” He says in a half-yell. You look up from the edge of your laptop unflinchingly with a displeased frown, shaking your head and throwing your hand up half-heartedly. 

“Fine, fine - I promise I won’t laugh. Can you stop being all ominous? You sound like Tokoyami.” 

“There’s something wrong with me,” 

“Well yes,” 

“Not like that,” He hisses, taking a deep breath. He leans forward with his elbows on the table, hands clasped seriously as he covers his face. “...I think my fucking..thing..is broken.” 

There’s a loud noise like a muffled laugh but when Katsuki looks up your expression is completely blank. Your lips are pressed tight, eyes out of focus as you continue to type. Or pretend to. True to your word, you don’t laugh but Katsuki still wants to fucking kill you. 

“Oh? What uhm,” You clear your throat, lips trembling as you try to keep yourself together. “What brought you to that conclusion?” 

He nearly snaps his pen in half. 

“What do you fucking think?!” 

“Hey. Calm down. I’m doing my best not to laugh but you are not helping.” 

This is the sort of thing Katsuki would normally take to his grave. Not only is it genuinely humiliating, it is the sort of painful personal detail he wouldn’t share with anyone even if he was fucking them. It wouldn’t matter either, that his dick isn’t working - if the other ways he relieved stress were.

He’s got an average sex drive, sometimes lower but a high libido. Getting off is a physical response to a bodily need. Like eating food or taking a nap. It’s just because it’s a physical need, it is noticeable when the need doesn’t get met. He is painfully aware of it. It’s been weeks and he thinks he’s starting to lose his mind. Worse? He’s exhausted every human option trying to fix the problem himself, save for going to the dick doctor. His testosterone levels are fine, he gets check-ups more regularly than the average person. Given his reputation is at stake, he’d rather not get prescribed anything. He’s bought ginseng and shitty vitamins and medicine he had to ship from overseas. Anything and everything. 

Picking up viagra at the ripe age of twenty four would give him psychic damage he won’t recover from, this much Katsuki is sure of. So not that. But everything else, every natural remedy conceived - he’s tried. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” He says, pinching the bridge of his nose and willfully ignoring the sound of your strained huffing “I can’t fucking get….it up and I don’t know why. I’ve tried everything. Everything. I’m going crazy,” 

“You know, it really says something about our relationship that you can confide to me about these kinds of problems. Like I’m so proud of us,” 

“Shut up. I’m already miserable enough without wanting to fucking tell you - but the only other option is Shitty Hair and Izuku. I refuse to buy a single goddamn pill for it, and I know if I go to a doctor they’re gonna recommend it and—” He can’t finish the thought. It’s a little too sincere for the kind of conversation you’re having. 

You’re a tactless person, so of course - you don’t bother with going along with the mood. Instead you smile like the evil bastard you are. 

“And…?” 

“You little—” He sighs rubbing his palms over his hands “And because I can trust you to be the least horrible option.” 

“So you acknowledge my valiant efforts as your underling and assistant and know you’d be nowhere without me?” 

“Shut up.” 

“Aw, you’re sweet,” You say, promptly ignoring him “But yeah, I mean - no judgement. I would ask if you’ve had anything major happen but I unfortunately already know that’s not really the case.”

Yes. You, of all people, would know that no major changes have happened in Katsuki’s external life that would make it hard for his dick to function. You spend so much time together. Minus the time he spends working and catching villains in the world - you’re practically glued to his side. You’re in charge of all of his affairs, his schedule, all other personal things. Katsuki is naturally neurotic, but you handle all of it with grace and care. You know everything about him, which is why he is asking you about this problem. 

(Does it border on unprofessional? Of course it does. But your relationship to each other degraded that border a long time ago. You’ve already slept in his bed and met all of his friends. And kissed him, but that’s irrelevant for now) 

“I need solutions,” Katsuki offers, totally and utterly defeated by the situation at hand. “I’ve done everything. Taken every goddamn herb, done every meditation. Nothing is working. Nothing. I’m going to go fucking crazy.” 

“Do you think just sleeping with someone would help? I know you don’t want to ask any of your friends, but maybe an escort? We can do it discreetly.” 

“Fuck no. If it were that easy I would’ve done it.” 

You pause. Katsuki can see the focus on your face and doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse. After an elongated period of silence, you perk up a little. You lock eyes with him and Katsuki briefly regrets bringing the whole conversation up in the first place. 

“Hate to ask,” You say, though there’s not enough embarrassment on your face to make anything of that statement. “But uh, have you tried getting off with other things. Like something that isn’t your dick.” 

He feels a flush creeping up his skin. “What the fuck are you talking about!”

“This is an important question,” You emphasize, an expression so alarmingly calm Katsuki doesn’t know if it makes him feel better or worse. “Cause if the answer is no, then that’s basically the best solution.” 

“How the fuck is that the best solution? Are you insane?” 

“Don’t be such a prude, Mr. Dynamight. You’ve bottomed before. It’s not that different. Have you ever tried it on your own?” 

“I fucking hate you.” He replies, closing his eyes and frowning. “No I haven’t. Why the hell would I do something so embarrassing.” 

“I know you’re super anal retentive - no pun intended there actually, but can you relax a little? It’s a good solution if nothing else is working. Your dick might be broken but an orgasm is an orgasm.” 

“Remind me to never ask you for shit again,” 

“I’d love that. Just keep me on payroll. Anyway,” You go back to typing. “I think that should be your first move,”

“How the—are you seriously telling me I should go fuck myself to solve my problem?” 

You giggle. “Well it sounds bad when you put it like that. But I guess yeah. I can help pick out some sex toys, maybe, do a little research. If you don’t want to do it in your apartment, there might be a love hotel,” 

A blush creeps up against the back of his neck. He covers his face with his hands. 

“I’m begging you to shut the fuck up. There’s no,” Another wave of humiliation sets in “There’s no way this is how I’m going about this. Like. Fucking none.” 

“The only other option is the good old fashioned doctors appointment, then. Which we can squeeze in over telehealth I think - since you got a check-up pretty recently. Want me to do that instead,” 

“Fuck, no. I just,” He groans, feeling the stress make his eye twitch “Fuck.” 

There’s a bit of silence and a little typing, like you’ve decided to leave him to his thoughts. Which he doesn’t blame you for, because all things fucking considered - there’s not really any more options. He’s a smart man and even he is fucking stumped. He’s going to have to give into something, eventually. He knows that, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. 

As soon as he gets close to giving up, you sit up straighter and give a deep long sigh. 

“Hey,” You scratch the side of your face awkwardly. “Do you want me to help you….?” 

He stares at you. “With what.” 

“With your dick being broken,” 

“What?!” 

“Don’t yell anymore, you’re giving me a headache,” You express, rubbing your temples. “Look. You need to get off, and you’re probably going to have to use your ass to do it. You don’t want to do it by yourself, and you don’t want to do it with a friend or escort. You’d prefer not going to the doctor's office or taking any pills. I’m offering - I’m not really your friend per se and you trust me enough to ask about it.” 

He hates more than anything that you have a point. 

“You can’t be fucking serious right now.”

“Hey. If you want your dick to stay broken for a while until you figure it out, do you. I’m just saying. Offering solutions is what you pay me for,” 

He pulls back a little. 

“...Are you fine with that?” 

“Oh banging you? Is that what you’re worried about?” He winces at the direct and crass way you speak. “I like you plenty and you’ve got a pretty face. I’m down if you are,” 

“I can’t believe I’m considering this.” 

“Really? I totally can,” You snicker, and he really, really considers firing you. “It’s not the first time we’ve crossed boundaries with each other. Just consider it, okay? Before you actually blow a fuse.” 

He leans back in his chair and groans. 

“Fuck. Yeah, whatever.” 

__ 

It’s another week before Katsuki takes you up on your offer. 

Miraculous it took that long, given the amount he suffered stubbornly trying to fix the problem on his own. The lengths he went too are too embarrassing to even disclose or recount but it very quickly became clear that this was not an issue that was going to magically disappear - no matter how hard he tried. 

Against his better judgment and after a long, cold shower trying to talk himself out of reality - Katsuki sent you a one line text. 

Fine. Come Saturday. 

The only thing he could say without dying of complete fucking shame. He’s grateful that’s the time you decided to have some tact. 

(Not a lot, since the text back you sent was a peach emoji and a thumbs up. But whatever, he’ll take what he can get.) 

It’s Saturday now, and he’s clean. All of him. He’s clean, and just wearing his boxers - sitting on his couch. You’ll be here very soon, and he can’t believe he’s saying this, but he’s nervous. 

You did mention you were fine with it. He believes that because there’s been long standing tension between you two for god knows how long he’s not entirely blind too. You sleep at his place sometimes and spend all day with him, and then there was that one time you two kissed (very sober) during New Years. You don’t bring it up because you know he can’t deal with it. Yet he’s comforted by the fact you at least want it (because you’ve said so), and that you’re willing to do this despite the ambiguity in your relationship. 

He knows that is inevitably going to come up today. But he really wants to fucking cum. And if it’s with you, then it’s fine. If his head was a little clearer, he would probably reject this whole thing based on his own emotional disparity. God fucking knows he is not in any place to deal with any of that. His heart barely gets by in the office and now you were going to fuck him. 

Is he stupid? 

Usually no, but because there’s a soft dick and tight balls where his brain used to be, currently yes. Everything put together, it’s a recipe for disaster. He considers telling you to fuck off and forget all this happens. 

But then he thinks about the prospect of your hands and your voice and it’s enough to at least get his heart pumping, though his dick still refuses to cooperate.

More than anything, he does trust you. Shitty, smug little fucker you can be sometimes - there’s not a single person who goes out of their way for him. More than just your job, sometimes it feels like every little thing you do is for his sake. Everything you don’t ask of him, every secret you keep. You push him where he needs to go and encourage him to take risks in his career without imposing on him. 

He blushes again, laying on his couch. He was nervous before but it’s not any better. Maybe he’s not so much of a dumbass as he is a total fucking masochistic. Is the level of overthinking the shit Izuku goes through? No wonder he’s like that all the time. 

He almost jumps out of his skin when he hears the doorbell ring. 

He answers the door shirtless and finds you on the other side. You have a cardboard box and the most nonchalant expression he’s ever seen. Normally it would annoy him, but right now he’s kind of comforted by it. You look at him with a flat smile. 

“Hey sexy,” You say with no intonation. “Can I come in?” 

He gives you a look of disdain. “Don’t ever say that shit to me again. But come in,” 

You laugh quietly as he steps aside. You don’t have much with you other than the ominous box and your bag. 

“You look like you’ve showered,” You say, taking your shoes off and putting on the house slippers he keeps for you. You don’t even look at him as you go towards his bedroom upstairs. He follows you with mild (faux) annoyance.“What a shame.” 

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

“I wanted to get a little romantical and help you clean up but you’ve taken that from me. I’m a little hurt.” 

“You’re such a dumbass. As if I’d let you do that,” 

“Don’t be such a spoilsport. I’m gonna be playing in your ass today anyway.” 

“Not the same thing.” 

“Tomato, to-mah-to,” You say with a wave of your hands. When you finally get upstairs, you look over your shoulder. Katsuki gets the message quickly enough, helping you with the door. You give him a little smile and let yourself in, dropping the box on the edge of his king sized mattress. 

He stands in the doorway for a short while, glancing at you before coming in. You put your bag somewhere on the floor before getting back to the box you’ve brought over. He can guess what’s in it, but he stands with you to open it anyways.

Predictably,  the thing is full of sex toys. The first question he wants to ask is how much you spent on all of it, but he bites his tongue. 

You look at him and do a little jazz hands gesture. “Tah-dah.” 

He gives you a displeased look, but you’re well used to this sort of thing from him. There isn’t actually a whole lot in the box. The theatrics of you bring it upstairs were more likely just you fucking with him for the sake of the bit.  He frowns. Typical. 

You do have some new things in the box. A few expensive look gadgets, like a pair of quirk canceling handcuffs (decorated with leopard print fur) and something that looks like it goes around his neck. The sex toys that are in there are noticeably high quality. You definitely used his dime to pay for this. 

“Handcuffs? Seriously?” 

“You’re too much of a control freak and I like not having my hands blown to bits,” You say, shaking your head. “We should establish some ground rules and stuff now.” 

“Haah? The fuck are you gonna do that we need rules.”

“I’m not just gonna jump scare you with dominating you. But that is what I’m doing.  What we’re doing.” You give him a more serious look, that makes him feel more shy than he cares to admit.  “You get what I’m saying? You have to trust me a little, okay?” 

He makes a petulant face at you. “I already trust you dipshit,” 

“This and that are different,” You say, shaking your head. He refrains from disagreeing with you a second time. They’re really not, but he has no desire to explain that. “I’m gonna touch you and be a little strict. Are you okay with that?” 

“I don’t care.” 

“That’s not an answer,” 

He grits. “I want to cum. And I…trust you or whatever. I already agreed to this. If it’s pissing me off, I’ll just kick you offa me. Anyway, ‘s fine.” 

“If you kick me I’m suing you for battery. We can have a safeword. I’m not going to duct tape your mouth and I’m gonna talk you through most of it - but just incase.” You say. He pauses, taken aback by how… delicately you’re treating him. He doesn’t know if he should be pissed about it or not. “Any word is fine. We can use the stoplight system too if you want.”

“Stoplight?” 

“Red for stop, yellow for slow, green for go.” 

“That’s fine. Easy to remember.” 

“Okay,” You nod to yourself, tucking the promise to memory before looking at him more seriously. “Are you okay with intimacy?” 

He stares at you. 

“The fuck…?” 

“Kissing and hand-holding and all that other stuff.” 

“Is it necessary?” 

“Strictly speaking, no,” You look at him knowingly this time. He’s taken aback, but you’re always like this. You look through him, not at him. “Are you okay with it?” 

The implication is there. Do you want it? is the question that goes unasked. Too direct for his tastes. He feels heat spread through his body, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 

“Yeah…’m fine with it.” 

Your smile is more genuine this time around. He turns away from you a little. 

“Okay. That’s everything out of the way. I’m gonna cuff your arms,” You say. It all feels a little sudden. He figures you’d mean business, but still - he’s not all that prepared. He’s had a week to mentally prepared but that feels like nothing compared to now.  There’s an authority to the way you talk now he isn’t sure he’s going to get used too. “Repeat your safewords to me when you turn around.” 

He frowns but listens. He puts his hands together in front of him, waiting for you to cuff him, shyness making him hot. 

“Uh. Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for go.” 

“Good boy,” You say so smoothly it almost rolls off of him. The cuffs go around his wrists, and Katsuki can feel the familiar sensation of losing his quirk. Now it’s just the both of you. “I’m expecting a little pushback, but generally - you’re to listen to me. Clear?” 

“God, fuck - yeah clear,” Katsuki says, feeling ticklish all of a sudden. “All this shitty foreplay is making me feel weird.” 

You wrap your arm around his midriff in a sudden movement, making him twitch. He can feel your cheek pressed against his chest as your hands hover over his waistband. He takes in a sharp inhale. 

“It’s good that you’re feeling anything.” You say, breath just barely above a whisper. “Gonna take this off,” 

He just nods, silently. It’s still on soft, but something is happening in his gut at least. You help him take his boxers down. You’ve probably seen him naked before, more than once. You two being attached at the hip was no joke. This time there’s this lingering anticipation that’s there, and that changes things. 

He steps out of his boxers. He’s naked and you’re clothed and his head feels like it’s spinning. Your hand guides him to the edge of the bed. He sits and watches you, but you don’t undress. 

The first kiss (second kiss) that you exchange with Katsuki is pleasant. You bend down to do it. It’s a chaste way to meet his lips, weirdly soothing while his stomach is starting to tie in knots. It’s a little surprising how..comfortable it is. Your mouth is soft, your lips taste a little like chapstick and you smell nice. You pull away to kiss the corner of his mouth, trailing down his jaw. 

Your thumbs draw over the shell of his ear, rubbing the lobe tender. You’re so different. The contrast in your normal personality is a little too much for him to reconcile with easily, but you brush over these things well enough. He looks away when you meet his eyes. 

“Do you wanna lay down or kneel?” 

His throat is tight. “...Don’t care.” 

You laugh a little to yourself, another kiss. “Lay down then. It’d probably be easier if you put your ass up but knowing you, I doubt it.” 

He blushes, annoyed that he’s so obviously predictable to you. 

The sheets are soft where he lays. You don’t join him on the bed at first. He just waits there cuffed as you shuffle around for things - lubes and toys and pillows. When you do return to him, you pat his side and slide a pillow underneath his back. He quickly regrets laying down, because god the position is fucking exposing. 

You get between his legs and settle there comfortably. A hand rests on his bare thigh, rubbing your thumb into smooth, muscled skin. His breath is hitched. You lean down and kiss his hip. Still no dice on the erection, but you don’t seem discouraged. 

You flip the lube open and let it pour onto your fingertips. It’s pink lube. This is mildly irritating, but saying anything will feed into your satisfaction so Katsuki bites his tongue. He watches it as you warm it in your hands, patting his leg with your clean hand. 

“Legs up,” You instruct. “And deep breath. Try not to tense.” 

“Just goin’ for it, huh?”

You don’t reply to that, but you do smile. 

It’s not his first rodeo. His second or third, but certainly not his first - but he’s never had it done for a reason like this. There was an exchange prior, that someone was putting something in him for their pleasure too. This isn’t for that. This is just for him, with your skilled hands and your oddly gentle tendencies that he doesn’t see any other time. That proves to be too much, makes his belly feel honeyed with lust. 

The warm, thick sensation of lubed fingers presses against the tight rim of muscle. He breathes and unclenches. Tries not to think too hard about anything. He’s desperate, too desperate. At this point, it’s hard to be prideful. Your hands are noticeably daintier than the ones he’s had in him prior. It’s…weirdly nice. Makes the process easier somehow. He’s reminded that you’re just you, and that makes him more nervous. 

“That’s it, baby,”  You hum, so soft it’s startling. The way the blood starts to rush in that familiar way nearly makes him sick. Oh, fuck. No way. “Oh?” 

No way. No fucking way. No way that’s what does him in. 

You pause. He takes in a deep breath, ready to say anything to defend himself. Humiliation spreads through his whole body. He can feel how hard he’s starting to burn, like the blood in his body is struggling to keep up with the desire and pump of his heart. His chest and face start to flush a familiar rose as he grits his teeth and closes his eyes. 

Weeks. Weeks and weeks of trying to figure this out. And it was you calling him baby, of all things, to get him at half-mast. 

He’s too afraid to open his eyes, but forces himself too. He’s expecting a smug laugh or sarcastic jab but instead you just look surprised. You stare at him, unblinking. He’s so startled he stares back. 

“Do you wanna…keep going?” 

He gets hard. Fuck. 

“S-shit,” He says, wishing he could cover his face with his hands properly. “Yeah,” 

He can’t read your expression at all. Annoying. You don’t brush over it though - but you don’t force him to acknowledge it either. Maybe you’re just focused on the fact he finally has something to work with and don’t want to ruin it by making him talk about his feelings. 

“Baby,” You say again, smooth and deliberate. There’s that twitch again, something pooling in his gut. He starts to feel nervous. You’re doing the same as before, stretching him and teasing the rim - getting him ready for something else. “You like bein’ my baby, Katsuki?” 

He opens his mouth, only to close it again. He tries to choke some word about, telling you go fuck yourself - but he always ends up looking at your face. Your lashes on your cheek. Soft touches and even softer words. He stops knowing what he wants at some point.

“Ugh,” His voice grows thicker. “Don’t ask me that,” 

(If he were more apt at honesty, he could admit to you that he just wants you. In whatever way. Sometimes you get like this, when you’re not screwing around - and you’re so good to him that it hurts. He likes your sarcasm and dryness. 

But he likes too when you’re this sweet on him too - even if that feels shameful as fuck. That feels like it’s crossing so many more lines that you’re usual self. He knows that better than anyone. It is crossing more lines than usual. 

He can’t help but think about it anyway.)

You laugh a little. His eyes go lidded as you continue to work him open. It’s a slow process. You circle his hole with your thumb each time before pushing in. You get one finger in without effort. The second one takes a little more. Another heaved breath and unclenching of his muscles. 

He hasn’t felt the sensation of something entering him in so long. He can’t remember when the last time was. He’s antsy as you pump your fingers in and out, stretching him slowly. You find the bottle with your free hand, flicking it open with your teeth and pouring lube onto him directly before you keep going. 

“That feel okay?” You mumbles

“Y-yeah. Feels fine,” He huffs, closing his eyes “Feels…good,” 

“It’ll feel better soon. Just need to,” You curve the two fingers inside of him up. They search and search and search until—

There. Shit, there. 

“Oh, shit,” He gasps, arching himself up as you rub it. You smile at him, pleased. “Fuck,” 

You whistle. Katsuki can feel his cock throb properly now, up at full attention. You don’t touch him though. Your other hand grips his thigh for support as you focus your wrist and energy on curling your fingers against his prostate. His stomach flutters, waist tightening.

He’s been fucked before, damn it, but this is different. This is controlled and concentrated. Your fingers are perfect in their motion, pinpoint pleasure making him break out into a feverishness. You’re annoyingly good at this. His whole nervous system feels like it’s being unraveled so slowly. Pulled apart like the slices of a fruit, something for you to pick off and eat.

His head feels like it’s full of cotton, tongue too big for his mouth. Thoughts clouded and inhibition lowered. Real pleasure. He hasn’t felt that in what has to be more than a month now. It’s overwhelming. He’s sensitive and muddy and acting stupidly - he’s well aware. It’s an out of body experience being so unwound in general but this after everything is overstimulating. 

God it feels good. How can anything feel this fucking good? 

His breathing is erratic, heart pumping trying to keep up with it. Euphoric little pricks start at his abdomen and shoot off through his whole body. Like the splintering ends of a falling star. 

He’s never had any orgasm that feels like it needs every muscle in his body to pump through him. It starts in his center and spreads out, melts him slowly. Usually the feeling of needing to cum is passing - just building pleasure until the orgasm hits and the high relaxes. His cock is leaking now with every little press along his insides. Little white dribbles of pre-cum sliding down his shift all the way down to his ass. He doesn’t want to think about how he looks, so he focuses on how it feels. 

“Fuck, that feels so good,” His voice almost gives. “Shit, I’m gonna cum if you don’t slow down.”

“You can cum if you want to, Katsuki,” As if to drive the point home by massaging his inner thigh, neglecting his cock “Guess you’re pretty sensitive inside, hm? Gonna make you cum like a girl,” 

His blush deepens.. 

“Haah, fuck - fuck I’m not sensitive. It’s just, hng. Been a while,” 

“Don’t be a liar or I won’t let you cum,” You tease. 

His eyes shoot wide, brows touching his hairline.  “Fuck, d-don’t you dare. .” 

You have the nerve to laugh at him. All things considered, maybe you’ve earned. “Just teasing. I’m awful but not that awful. “ 

“You’re not awful, fuck - just really,” He throws his head back against the sheets. “Need to cum, really need to—” 

“Gonna cum without even touching your cock,” You say, half-amused. He shudders when the realization dawns on him.“You’re so sweet.” 

He’s drooling. The strength goes out in his jaw as the feeling just builds and builds and builds. It goes on like it’ll never topple. 

When it does, it doesn’t feel so much like a rope unsnapping as much as it feels like everything is being pulled from under him. Like the loss of gravity. His abdomen goes tight, the anticipation of it making it impossible to breathe. So close, so close, so close. His brain feels shut off, mindlessly humping along air to capitalize on everything. You’re encouraging only eggs him on further. He lets out a garbled little noise, choking. His voice rasps as electricity flows through him. 

And he cums, there’s an orgasm - but nothing comes out. He cums so hard but his balls still feel so tight and full. It feels good but he’s still so fucking hard. It snaps him awake as his eyes open, and you’re staring at his cock a little awestruck. 

“Oh, poor baby,” You say - not exactly mocking him but not exactly being kind either. Katsuki stares at you lost and hazy. “A dry orgasm after all of that. That’s just cruel. 

He heaves. “What the….how am I supposed to?” 

His dick aches. Fuck he almost wants to cry. 

Your hand wraps around the base of his shaft in a sudden movement, making him hiss. He almost cusses you out. Sensitive, too sensitive. You put your thumb over the tip of his cock, more pre-cum leaking from it as you. You look mesmerized as it dribbles against your thumb

A long pause. 

“Hey,” Your expression is  serious. “Do you wanna fuck me?” 

“What?” 

“I’m really turned on right now, shit. I was planning on just helping you but, you didn’t cum yet and I’m...,” You’re looking at him so directly. His heart pounds. “You can say no,” 

Of course he wants to fuck you. That’s what he wants to say. He doesn’t know where he’d find the fucking gall. 

“....’s sensitive,” He says instead, flushing with embarrassment. You brighten up. “Just… give me a minute,” 

“I will but first,” You rummage through your items and pull out a plug. His eyes widen. “It’ll feel good, I promise.” 

He grumbles, but doesn’t reject you. You have some kind of miracle in you - so he feels more inclined to just give in to whatever you say. You look eager to do it. He doesn’t know how he feels about that. 

It’s easy enough to put the plug in when he’s already all soft. He’s still sensitive and swollen. He hisses as the cool metal of the plug slides into softened hole, before settling. You give him a little tap on his which he glares at you for. Your only response is laughter. 

There’s nothing to talk about while Katsuki watches you undress. You don’t take it all off - just your bottoms. It’s not that he has nothing on his mind. Just that… seeing you like that isn’t making him any less hard. He just… looks at you. Dumbly. You slide your shorts off in one go and your underwear along with it, and you’re all on display. 

It’s pretty. Your pussy is really pretty. A horrifyingly embarrassing thing for him to think but it’s true. There’s a fine layer of hair on your mound that he likes. You’re dripping wet like you said you were, and that doesn’t make the situation any easier. You give him a little smug grin as you settle over his lap. He stares at you completely absent-minded, flushed. 

“Like what you see?” You tease. He’s too struck to lie to you. 

“Yeah,” He rasps. He’s out of his mind right now. He blames it on his dick. “I wish I could take these fuckin’ cuffs off.” 

You look at him a little surprised. “You don’t like being cuffed and restrained?” 

His ears feel hot, heat prickling up his skin. “Didn’t say that just,” He groans even trying to say it. “...Wanna touch you,” 

He trails off. You use your hand to turn his face back to you, cupping his jaw as you bend forward to kiss him. He stares at you wide-eyed, making a noise of surprise. This kiss is different from all the others. Deeper, with more feeling. He gets into it, lifting his head to kiss you back. 

When you pull away, you’re all fluttered lashes and adoration. 

“After I drain your dick dry,” You say with a confidence that astounds him. “I’ll take them off and let you fuck me proper. But you have to tell me you want that, first. Do you wanna fuck me, baby?” 

“Shit. Y-yeah,” He nods, feeling absolutely swept up in your pace. 

“Say it.” 

“I wanna fuck you, dammit,” He stutters through the last of his sentence. “Don’t make me beg, my dick is going to blow off if you keep torturing me.” 

You laugh good naturedly and he feels a little proud that he made you laugh. The thought that he’s beyond whipped wipes the smile off his face completely, but whatever. 

You pull back, sitting up as you examine his cock. You hold it up to you, weighing your options. 

“I’m too horny to open myself up. I’m just gonna sit on it, ‘kay? Don’t buck your hips up,” 

He opens his mouth to protest, but the words die in his mouth. The warm, wet heat of your cunt is immediately overstimulating. He groans so gutterally it startles him. Like it’s punched out of him. This is the only pressure his hard cock has gotten in months and it’s making him feel like he’s on fire. 

You don’t give him a chance to cover. You lean over him as you maneuver his cock to your entrance with all disregard for his sanity. You hiss as the tip finds the spot. Fuck you’re wet. Your insides are so soft, so sticky - but you’re still so damn tight. 

As you promised you go slowly. It doesn’t help him losing his mind. Worsened by the fact he can see you on top of him, all bated breaths and shaky moans. There must be a dull pain, but you only give him a smile as you get the first inch. 

“You’re big,” You say breathlessly. His cock twitches to life. “Feels fucking good. Shit, that’s amazing. Haha, I can feel you so deep already.” 

“Please stop talking, before I, haah,” 

“Don’t cum yet,” You demand, lowering yourself further and further until you’ve bottomed out. Katsuki feels fucking crazy. “Let me get my fill first.” 

“Ngh, easier said than fucking done,” 

You just laugh. “Try your hardest, Mr. Hero. Show off your endurance, hm?” 

He groans as you start to move. You really don’t regard him at all. You lean over him with one hand and use your other to tease and toy with your clit as you ride his cock with reckless abandon. The room is quick to fill with noise - the sound of skin slapping skin, the skin sticking where your hips meet his thighs. 

 You’re moaning in little broken waves. He’s not going to last if he listens to you anymore. 

He’s biting the inside of his cheek trying not to cum, but you don’t make it easy. You’re riding him with so much force, using him. Your pussy is so tight it’s gripping him, sucking him dry. A vice-like grip, sticky and pliant over the hard curve of his cock. Everytime you bounce and throw your ass a little harder onto him, he can feel you. Feel himself and  how deep he is. His hands tighten into fists where they’re cuffed in front of him. 

He’s never been… used like this. But he doesn’t hate it the way you disregard him to chase your own pleasure while being so generally mindful of his own. You take and take and take but you make it feel so good. 

It’s not helped by the plug in his ass, brushing against his prostate every single time you move. Makes him jolt. Every fiber and nerve in his body is wound as tight as it can possibly go. All of his strength, sanity, and focus he has left in him is trying not to cum, not to buck his hips up and rut into you like a stupid animal no matter how much he wants too. 

He can feel you start to cum before you even tell him. Your walls pulse with need and your movement starts to get slower. The grip you have holding you up weakens slightly. 

“Gonna cum. Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum,” You say with a pant. You open your eyes and look down on him “Cum with me, okay? Don’t hold it in,” 

The words alone trigger a reaction. But with everything else, it’s like Katsuki explodes. Weeks worth of tension in his body, in his muscles, in his everything  - burst at the seams. You cum and he follows you nearly in succession. The hard pulsing of your swollen cunt suck around him like a vice and he goes practically limp feeling his dick finally drain. 

He cums and he can’t stop cumming. Pumps out so much white hot seed his head starts to cloud. He fucks up into you, sloppy and dumb. Chasing his high as he pours every ounce of his load into your pussy without so much as a modicum of shame. A month of dryness overwritten by the most intense orgasm he’s ever had in his fucking life. He doesn't know how long he stays there, painting your walls with his spend. It just goes on forever, longer than he’s ever experienced. 

He has his eyes closed as he goes limp. Fucking hell. 

It takes him a while to go soft again. When he finally does and returns to consciousness, he’s still nestled inside you. You give him a smile when his eyes finally open, leaning forward to kiss his hairline. 

“Still all there?” 

His voice is hoarse like he’s been screaming. “I feel like I fucking died,” 

You giggle. 

“So… no?” 

“Kind of. Barely. What the fuck is up with you.” He says laying his head back, sweat dripping down his back. “Shit.” 

“Did you like it?” 

He gives you an unimpressed look as you laugh. 

“I’m glad.” You say softly. You’re warm. God he’s down bad. “We have a lot to talk about later. You should take a little break for now.” 

He nods in agreement to both things before pausing. “For now..?” 

“You thought we were done?” You say with a tilted head. He gapes. “I thought you knew I was more ruthless than that.” 

He groans. 

“You’re insane.” 

You chuckle, leaning down to kiss him. 

“You love me.” 

He lets you kiss him some more and doesn’t bother denying it. 

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

Let’s talk about THAT CaitVi scene and the fandom’s response to it

All cards out on the table, I used to adore CaitVi. I was there in the trenches reading the fanfics, watching the shipping videos, even going on fucking dynasty scans for the fanart + doujinshis😭 (iykyk). I loved CaitVi down bad, and of all the things I was most excited for in S2, this ship becoming canon was near the top of the list. I say this to say I don’t come from a place of apathy or hatred when it comes to this ship, but just genuine disappointment and disgust for how it was mishandled in season 2. Particularly when it comes to the abuse.

In preparation of this rant, I did my homework to fully understand both sides. I watched this video:

Which explains Cait’s behavior and even addresses her physical abuse. And, as much as it pains me to say this, I looked through the CaitVi tag on tumblr and read as many posts as I could defending Caitlyn and CaitVi as a ship.

Before I begin, I think it would be fair to lay out the main defense before tearing into these people. So let’s talk about Cait:

The main thesis of “Stop Me Oh’s” video and many other CaitVi shippers is that Caitlyn is someone who doesnt like to communicate her feelings and thinks actions speak louder than words. By helping Vi without hesitation during Act 2 and putting aside her grief to allow Vi a chance to talk to Jinx, someone who murdered her mother, Cait is already showing immense remorse. She’s taking steps to make amends for her actions and proving that her love and trust in Vi outweighs her desire to get revenge. She doesn’t need to actually utter a single apology when she’s done more than enough to make up for her misgivings.

And excusing the whole fascist thing, ALL she did was hit Vi. She didn’t kill the poor thing like Jayce and they weren’t fighting to death like Ekko and Jinx:

And, let’s be honest, wouldn’t you do the same? Put yourself Cait’s shoes. Imagine your family was blown up by your partner’s crazy lunatic sister. You watched her turn your world upside down. And while your partner is fully supportive of hunting down your mother’s murderer, she suddenly switches up when it’s time to actually go through with it. She’s stopping you from shooting this deranged killer all because you MIGHT shoot some annoying child. And then you miss the best chance you’ll ever get to take down this terrorist and your partner comes crawling back to you, talking about how you’re just like that murderer. Then, in the heat of the moment, you hit her with the butt of your gun. You hit her and you abandon her in a hole while she cries on the ground. It’s harsh, but doesn’t she deserve it?

Don’t you see? Cait is a poor rich girl who lost her mother. Unlike these other murderers and thugs, all she did was hit Vi during a moment of passion and would never, ever, ever, ever, do it again. Vi should be grateful Cait even let her see her only family, she could’ve just fucking killed the bitch.

Okay. Jokes asides, let’s just address each of these points one by one.

1. Cait already apologized through her actions

This is the most common defense I see for Cait, and it’ll be the lengthiest one too.

So my question is: For what?

Ignoring the fact that verbally apologizing IS an action, how does Cait deciding not to pursue Jinx and allowing Vi to see her only family correlate to her making amends for the physical abuse?At the very least , I can see Cait siding against Ambessa and admitting she fell for propaganda as “apologizing” for her turning to fascism. I guess. But what is Cait atoning for exactly when she helps out Vi? I’ll try to explain what I think it is:

When Cait says Vi has Jinx’s blood, shoves her gun into her stomach, and leaves her in a ditch, that represents her no longer trusting Vi. Cait thinks she’ll choose Jinx over her. So later, when Cait sides with Vi and allows her to see Jinx, it’s shows that she’s willing to trust Vi again and her judgement of character. Which Vi understands. When we think about it this way, Cait hitting Vi isn’t read as “physical abuse” by the narrative because the physical act of violence isn’t the issue the writers are trying to portray. No, the issue is Cait no longer trusting Vi. Physical abuse was just used as a vehicle to convey Cait’s distrust of Vi, who she now sees as a stranger/enemy….for like, an episode or two, then switches up lol.

But my point in saying all of this is, Cait isn’t really “apologizing through her actions” about the physical abuse. In fact, that was never even a consideration. And no, we’re not going to brush it off by saying “well shouldn’t this count for Cait hitting Vi too”. If we’re to take physical abuse seriously, and WE ARE you freaks, this is an offense that Cait needs to address separately. Properly.

Imagine if someone punched you in the face then stole your cookies. They never apologize to you for anything, but over the following days, they buy you cookies, maybe even some milk. Do you think these actions are enough of an “apology” for punching you in the fucking face? If they are then you need some serious help.

Ah, and contrary to the popular belief that Cait doesn’t need to verbally apologize bc she shows her actions through words and yadda yadda yadda, Cait does, in fact, try to apologize in Jinx’s suicide cell. About fucking Maddie. Then she gets cut off. You would think Cait wouldn’t feel the need to apologize about Maddie since “aCtIonS sPeAk LoUdeR tHaN wOrDs” but I guess Cait picks and choose what she feels sorry about.

And I can already hear the counter argument. “It’s not about if I forgive Cait, but if Vi does since she’s the victim. Cait and Vi kiss and make up, and by the season’s end, they’re a couple. Therefore, Vi forgives Cait about everything.”

Putting aside the cycle of abuse, my question is: how does Vi feel about Cait hitting her? And vice versa. Since the fandom loves throwing “media literacy” around so much, let’s put that to the test. While the physical abuse is never brought up, hinted at, thought about, or addressed ever again (much like how the fandom treats it), that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about the implications.

If Vi doesn’t specifically mention the physical abuse, what does that mean for her character? Did Vi think she deserved it, or maybe she was just used to it, maybe she thought it was in the heat of the moment and Cait would never hurt her again (super toxic mindset btw), etc etc.

If Cait never mentions her physically abusing Vi, what does that mean for her character? Does she even care, does she think she was justified, did she think Vi could take it, why is Maddie the first thing she apologizes about and not hitting Vi and leaving her in a dank hole?

Because we could easily be getting into toxic/abusive territory, and when it comes to physical violence, there’s very little wiggle room for a more positive interpretation.

2. These characters aren’t perfect, they’re flawed

So this argument falls back on the “well pobody’s nerfect” defense and to that extent I agree. I think Cait is selfish and callous, but all the other characters who have similar flaws (think Silco, Marco, Ambessa, probably more) end up fucking dying and/or have actual narrative consequences. I’ve seen people argue that Cait losing her eye is a narrative consequence and IT IS for Cait’s alt right phase and choosing to follow Ambessa but it’s NOT for hitting Vi. Neither is Maddie betraying her. An appropriate narrative consequence would’ve been Vi leaving her ass, but I promise you the same people defending Cait would’ve had a thousand think pieces about how the writers sabotaged Cait’s character. Arcane is NOT a show about bad people getting away with bad things either.

3. Well Jayce killed Viktor / Ekko and Jinx tried to kill each other

So this argument acknowledges Cait’s abuse and her lack of apology but tries to deflect by claiming the other couples are violent, if not more. Even though this is a classic whataboutism, I’ll address it. I won’t acknowledge the timebomb side of the argument because it’s incredibly dumb, but for Jayvik, where do we begin? Recall that after Cait and Vi kissed, they were on romantic terms. That’s why Cait even bothers bringing up Maddie, and it’s really more so to let the viewer know Cait will excuse abuse but draws the line at infidelity. During Act 2, Jayce and Viktor are enemies and Viktor will literally kill everyone if he continues on his path. Jayce could have at least talked to Viktor first, but the writers chose to make him deranged or whatever so that was out of the question. And again, they’re enemies. Fighting isn’t off the table, even killing. If Viktor sucker punched Jayce while they were astral projecting together, then that might be analogous to Cait and Vi, but they don’t.

4. Not all relationships are perfect

This is one is similar to point two, but I’m taking a different angle. No, not all relationships are perfect, but I would never call physical abuse a “flaw” that’s to be expected in a normal, healthy relationship. Once you introduce violence, we call that abusive. I didn’t know we were in dire need of an abusive lesbian relationship, but I’ll walk with you.

If Arcane had the balls, CaitVi could’ve been portrayed as the toxic yuri couple it clearly is. They could’ve leaned into Vi being desperate enough to take Cait back and Cait not giving a single fuck about hitting Vi and leaving her. And if they did, this post wouldn’t exist. But they don’t. We’re genuinely supposed to like this slop and view it as a good thing because they kiss and play fun pop music while they fuck instead of the more appropriate “Poison” (by Bell Biv DeVoe ofc).

5. Well Jinx did XYZ to Vi

Another whataboutism. At risk of making this post longer than it already is, I’m gonna be brief. Yes, Jinx did awful things to Vi, but the narrative properly punishes Jinx for all of her actions (I mean the girl literally sacrifices herself) and wastes no time calling her out, especially Vi. Behind Cait, Vi is Jinx’s biggest hater. Literally chokes the girl out on sight. So let’s not pretend there’s some hypocrisy going on here, though it doesn’t escape me that many Cait fans end up being Jinx haters.

With that, I think I’ve covered all the major defenses for Caitvi’s physical abuse. All I can say is that the relationship is fucked and Vi deserves better.

[the-real-couchrat]

Post ending / rescue AU / recovering Curly is everything to me, so I’m making a list of other people’s posts that feature him. (The links will connect to a reblog of them in case anything ever happens to the original post)

If anyone ever see’s posts like these ones, PLEASE tag me in a reblog!! All posts are welcome, not just art!

Please note that I don’t decide what to add to this list based on shipping, opinions on the metaphors in the game, the accuracy of burn scars, the morality of Curly, or anything else that causes discourse in the fandom. I just add any posts that I come across that include Curly recovering from his injuries in any way. Prosthetics, wheelchair, wig, crutches, It just needs to have him in better shape than when he first got injured.

No NSFW

(Also this post is edited to add new ones when I find them)

Rehabilitated Curly

Party with no Jimmy

Stand around in medbay party (Idk if this counts, but he has prosthetics so I'm saying it does)

Happy abortion!

Post-ending speculation (text)

20 years later (I AM NOT WORTHY TO LOOK UPON THIS WITH MY MERE MORTAL EYES)

ANYA’S GRADUATION DAY

Post ending

Rescue/Recovery AU

My own post! (text)

Aftermath Curly

Good ending

Best way to approach captain’s disability?

A little sketch

They care

“I wouldn’t want to frighten her”

Anya doesn’t quite overdose

They’re safe

Guys rate my fanart

WWI face prosthetics

Less fucked up Curly AU

Fix-it type AU

Silly recovering time

Curly got some gifts for his b-day

Imagine Curly survived (twitter)

Curly with a service dog

I’m not a dog and you’re not a mare

Drawing the dentalcare crew (does this count?)

The quality will not be questioned

Fix-it AU

Want to make Curly some cool new mechanical hands so he can strangle Jimmy

One can dream

He’s got a wig now

Happy ending where they all survive (devianart)

It hurt my heart (twitter)

God forbid I get sick (translated?)

This might be controversial but… (text)

Let’s get you out of the house!

Cyberpunk AU

Cartoons with breakfast

Old-school surgeries (text)

Post-ending fic prompt (text)

Post-rescue AU curlyana

Post-rescue curlyana part two

Why is this goddamn white boy so hard to draw?

Captain stop infodumping the baby

Maybe never forgive

Draw Captain Curly having a prosthetic limb

Curly from Mouthwashing (good ending)

This is how I imagine Curly post OP

whats the worse fate, whatd be better for the tulpar crew

Wip

🐈

Mouthwashing AU (Reddit)

Curly if he survives (Reddit)

My own art

I’ll give him smoochies, prosthetics, and skin grafts

Art dump time✨

Hoppin on da trendin train

The crew built curly a mechanical hand

How to give Captain Curly a voice (idk if this technically counts, but it’s a disability aid so I will)

Doodle of the Tulpar crew post-rescue!

New hyperfixation just dropped

Hi Tumblr. Funny seeing you here

Another rehabilitated Curly

Who up washing they mouth rn

Don’t use the dog buttons (text)

Haunted part one and two

Prosthetics

AU were someone saves them

Mouthwashing doodles

A New Ladder-Reader x Curly (I’ll add the original art videos when I can) (also I didnt read it. if someone did read it, please let me know if it’s SFW)

I know he always have his headphones on

More rehabilitated Curly✨

You guys like this right

Anya, what’s it like working as a medic on a spaceship?

This is how we can still get the good ending

“I’m sorry Anya”

More cringe mouthwashing art be upon thee

Curly’s happy (and recovering) ending

Writing an AU of mouthwashing where the crew survives

Most people seem to be giving him prosthetics…

Doing a bit of study

2

Ladonb Kokosa (TikTok account, LOTS of great videos )

Giving the mouthwashing characters what they deserve (TikTok)

Zest for life

Edit: I am no longer seeking out these posts, and new ones will only be added if I’m tagged or such

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM Autumn Air Challenge

Hey everyone, I’m back with another monthly challenge! For the months of October AND November, I am formally challenging any willing writer to take a stab at writing fanfiction including the season of Autumn using their choice of Criminal Minds characters! Reader, Original Character, Character/Characterships, Gen/Platonic fics are allowed! Please check out the Rules below the Keep Reading.

There are a LOT of prompts below the cut, so keep going!

(**This is NOT a request list for me—this is a prompt list of other writers! Feel free to request from someone else, and be sure to let them know about the challenge!)

General Prompts

Characters fight over the perfect pumpkin.

Characters share a bale of hay on the hayride.

Character A helps B cope with the lack of sunlight.

The BAU takes a holiday trip to Rossi’s hunting cabin.

Character A “helps” B with baking for the Fall Festival.

Character A is shocked by how cold B’s hands get in Fall.

Character insists on getting the perfect apple. And then they fell on their ass.

The BAU’s Missed Holiday Meal is the first family meal Character's ever enjoyed.

It’s unseasonably warm, but that won’t stop Character from wearing fall sweaters.

Character A tells spooky stories around the bonfire. Now B is afraid to sleep alone.

or anything else you can think of!

Halloween Prompts (SFW)

Wait. That isn’t fake blood. Oh no.

Character has a “secret admirer” for Halloween.

Character A thinks B is in costume… they are not.

Characters argue about the accuracy of a costume.

Character A hates Halloween. B tries to change that.

Character A grabs the wrong hand in a haunted house.

Character is very brave while watching the horror movie.

Character A catches B’s wardrobe malfunction seconds before disaster.

Keep reading for more prompts + rules!

Halloween Prompts (NSFW)

Character's costume is multipurpose.

It’s okay. Screaming is normal on Halloween.

Characters have sex... with the costumes on.

Period sex is, in a way, thematically appropriate.

Character A’s costume is awakening something in B.

Character A dresses as B’s fantasy to fuck with them.

Character A’s obsession with lollipops is becoming a serious problem for B.

Dialogue Prompts

"That is NOT a horror movie."

"Wait, are you afraid of the dark?"

“You’re scarier without the mask.”

“Am I meant to be afraid or aroused?”

“No way, you’re a fan of (sports team)?!”

“Gourds are very versatile.” “You look insane.”

“If the leaves are allowed to change, so are you.”

“My costume is not cute. It’s scary and powerful.”

“Stop looking at me like that. The candlelight is for dramatic effect, not romance.”

Your fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.

Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I collect both! You can also tag “#mentioningmargins”

The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check. Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed. Please also include some indication of rating if it is NSFW.

Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post. For xReader fics, PLEASE specify if your reader is Female, Male, or Gender Neutral.

Have fun!

The Masterlist of fics will be posted around Nov. 30. If you finish after that, no problem - just send me the fic once you’re done and I’ll add it after-the-fact!

Feel free to message me if you want help developing a plot, have any questions, or just want to gush about your fic. I’m happy to help, and I’m happy you’re here ❤️

Happy Writing!

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mancity, mclaren, and 198,131 others

tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

view all 3,971 comments

mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by user, user, and 213,976 others

yourusername there’s no place like home

comments have been disabled

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[olderthannetfic]

I’ve been sending that ask to anyone and everyone I can possibly find that posts about shipping issues (?). I don’t know who you are specifically. I’ve had this discussion in circles over and over and over again, and frankly I’m getting a little tired of the “just use a different website” crowd telling me to just use AO3 when I WANT to use a different website. Forgive me for assuming somebody eventually might know what that “different website” might be.

AO3 is objectively a good site, there’s clearly a reason nobody uses fucking anything else anymore. Nothing else has the frankly superior tagging system AO3 does, and nothing else has the sheer volume of writers, readers, and works on it. Do whatever the hell you want with AO3, I’m happy for you. Clearly it’s successful, congrats. AO3 can host whatever they want to. I do not care even a little bit about what goes on on AO3, because I don’t want to use AO3. I want to go somewhere else. I didn’t want to get into it in my original post on Reddit, because I KNEW this is what was going to happen. I have gotten exactly two useful suggestions (or even people TRYING to be helpful) out of hundreds of comments. One was Superlove, which is exactly what I’m looking for but has a waitlist until next June last time I checked, and the other was self-hosting, which everyone was VERY quick to let me know that that is both incredibly difficult and expensive, and I will more than likely not be able to keep up with it.

It kind of sounds like some of you just like the idea of people who disagree with you struggling, because the SECOND that I clarified my issues with AO3 (after people kept pushing me about it, mind you) everyone got much more eager to watch me fail. So frankly, I think I’m just going to quit. If this is the community I’ll have when I disagree with you people even a little bit, I don’t want it.

--

Yes, and that scattershot approach is what made your previous ask rude.

It ignores me as a person and treats me as a public resource.

And now you're acting like the injured party over being called on it.

[smilingcrittersthingig]

I cannot keep doing this

Chat I cannot.

rant below beware, i get very angy

I know I made that post where I say I ignore comments talking about another ship on my art and use spite as a way to continue on

But there is only SO MUCH of “Catnap x Dogday is better!” I can TAKE

Guys guys, Daynap shippers, my brethren. Yes, I am one of you. I have a fanfic with Daynap, its not daynapping rn but its in the tags.

I love Daynap just as much as you guys do. But you cannot say that is the ONLY ship for Dogday and Catnap.

I understand you okay, They’re cute. But not everyone is gonna share the same opinion, they’re gonna wanna ship Dogday with Crafty, or Catnap with Bobby, or even Dogday with Allister, AND THATS FINE, ITS FINE TO SHIP SOMETHING ELSE, THATS NOT HURTING ANYONE.

What is very hurtful is you trying to undermine other people’s ships just because its not THE ship. That’s terrible! You’re terrible! Sorry you’re not but just behave!

Go look at other Daynap posts, there’s so much of that! There’s so very little of Suncross that I only find my blog when I search for it on google and god damn Icky x Alli porn. I already know your ship is better okay!? You and everyone else made that clear!! LET ME HAVE SUNCROSS IN PEACE.

Another one, “You cant ship them, the nc are teenagers and the sc are children”

Says who? Proof where? From last I remember they were ageless.

That’s a headcanon! You’re free to think about whatever you want, they could be adults, they could be children, you can even put them in a highschool, you can do that!

But its not canon. It’s not official. Your opinion is not a subjective fact, it is an opinion.

Good god I’m sorry but I feel like this is common sense, if you dont like the ship just ignore me.

I’m not doing art for your specific entertainment, I’m doing it for me

We need to get this straight, I’m first, you guys come a close second. I’ll do whatever you guys want but it’ll be because I want to.

You’re free to like, dislike, and comment anything too, but only if you’re respectful and not yelling at me that what you like is better

I like reading different opinions, what you think about them whether it’s siblings, friends, even enemies, I’m interested either way

but don’t call me a fucking dumbass and disregard my work.

Okay I’m done I’m done. Just needed that out my chest somehow. I’m fine

[natailiatulls07]

The golden trio Pt 4

Lando Norris x female!reader

Carlos Sainz x female!reader

Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc

Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??

Warnings - talks of hate, slight talks of sex, swearing

The golden trio

-

Going Purple podcast

Text (Orange: Lando) (White: Max F)

Hey mate, can I ask for some advice??

Yo what’s up? You haven’t been jailed for doing something dangerous whilst drunk have you?? 🫣

No not this time lol. So me and Y/n slept together the other night whilst we were drunk and then the next morning she asked me if I remembered…

Oh god no, please tell me you didn’t say what I think you said 😟

I said that I don’t remember and then quickly shut it down. But now I think she feels like she meaningless towards me

Mate you fucked up big time

Ik, her face was so disappointed and upset I could tell immediately even though she tried to hide it 😣

Look Lando, I don’t know how to help you with that one honestly

Yeah I guessed that, it’s fine I’ll figure it out. Just needed to get it off my chest for now though

Good luck mate 👍🏻

yourusername

Wishing on a shooting star for you

Liked by heidiberger_ and 39,036 others

username Who’s ‘you’??

= username Lando maybe, they’ve been getting a bit close

= username Maybe 🤔

username I love that dress 😍

maxverstappen1 Photo creds??

= yourusername 📸📸 by maxverstappen1

username Beautiful girlie

username So are we going to ignore hers and Landos thing rn or what???

charles_leclerc

Since Y/n decided to expose me and Max, we decided to expose her. So here you go, you stitched yourself up Bee 😂

Liked by yourusername and 52,843 others

username The first picture 🥹

username Is that high school golden trio??

= username I think it is, they look so young ☺️

yourusername I was expecting this lol

= charles_leclerc Just wait until you see Max’s post 🫢

= maxverstappen1 Hehehe 😏

username Y/n with her pink eye mask is the cutest thing ever!!

maxverstappen1

Part two of pay back expose Y/n!!

Liked by charles_leclerc and 56,367 others

username That vanity is the definition of girl messy and it’s just amazing!!

username I love the whole dynamic of this trio 🤩

yourusername When did you take a photo of my vanity??

= maxverstappen1 When you went out to the club with yourfriendsusername 😂

= charles_leclerc how does it get so messy? Like wtf

username I’ve just realised that Y/n is actually very relatable ngl

Twitter

username Guys so I ran into Y/n L/n today and she is like the sweetest person ever 🥹

username No way, I feel so bad that she had to go through all that hate whilst being so sweet and kind 😕

username So I was chatting to her and I asked her about her friendship with Max and Charles and she said “Me, Maxy and Charlie are like siblings. Sometimes they’re like protective older brothers or then annoying little brothers”

username That’s so cute!!

username I know right!! Anyways I asked about her and Lando and she was like “To be honest with you, I don’t know what’s going on there so yeah”

username Oh Noooo!! My ship!! 😔

username She looked so devastated and defeated when she said it though, that’s what got me 🥺

username I hope it works out, they’re the cutest ship EVER 😭

-

Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @namelesssav @amalialeclerc

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Lalisa Love Me

♥ pairing: lalisa manoban x fem!driver!reader

♥ smau 

♥ content: fluff <3 

♥ a/n: I’m an f1 loving american lesbian blink so when lisa wove the checkered flag in miami  I knew I had to write this. This is also my first posted fic :) - none of the pictures are mine

liked by lalalalisa_m, blackpinkofficial, and 706,435 more 

yourusername Blackpink in your area @/blackpinkoffical 

view comments

user12 SHE’S A BLINK?! 

 yourusername 🩷🖤 

user4 the crossover we never knew we needed 

landonorris where was my invite? 

yourusername must’ve got lost in the mail :/ 

 landonorris …

user5 my worlds are colliding 

lilymhe bring me next 

yourusername I WILL DW 

alex_albon I see how it is

yourusername GIRLS NIGHT IDEA - us and the wags go to their LA concert

francisca.cgomes I’ll be there 

roses_are_rosie hope we see you again! 

    yourusername <3 

user7 already writing fanfiction 

   user3 new character unlocked 

user5 she’s gonna show up at Jackson Wang’s party just wait 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 416,587

yourusername COACHELLA ☀️ - tagged lalalalisa_m

view comments

yourusername you guys killed it btw

*liked by lalalalisa_m*

user6 the amount of lisa pictures-

user10 its almost like she was there just for her

user6 she probably was ngl I'd be there just for Lisa too

user14 They are both MOTHER

user17 Lisa x y/n was NOT on my 2023 bingo card

landonorris I am once again asking for blackpink tickets

user10 PLEASE hsndnksjs

user7 he's so real for that

yourusername @/landonorris get your own tickets

user5 Lisa 🛐

yourusername i agree.

user5 wait what

user8 aaaand screenshoted

user7 my new wallpaper

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1, lalalalisa_m, and 827,942 more

yourusername Congrats World Champ <3 You drove one hell of a year.

view comments

maxverstappen1 you drove amazing yourself. p2 overall is great, especially in your second season

*liked by yourusername*

user1 lisa liked this post btw

user3 they're literally canon at this point

user7 WHEN WILL OUR MOTHERS GET TOGETHER?

user5 congrats girly

user7 literally crying at lisa liking this post

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

liked by yourusername, sooyaaa_, and 743,078

lalalalisa_m See You Soon <3

view comments

user17 ??? CONTEXT ???

user2 Don't be shy, tell us who

user7 the car pic...? liked by y/n....?

user1 I SEE THE VISION

user4 *me waiting for a lisa x y/n relationship megathread*

user8 unrelated but she looks stunning

user9 posted the DAY OF f1 winter break. not a coincidence.

user3 my otp

user12 I ship so hard

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

liked by yourusername, jennierubyjane, and 506,902 more 

lalalalisa_m Waving the flag @/yourusername @/redbullracing 

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yourusername so glad you're here

     lalalalisa_m <3 

user3 the picture in the middle hello??? 

landonorris so @/yourusername lied about being sick last week? 

yourusername yes and I’d do it again

landonorris the betrayal 

 yourusername you’ll live 

jennierubyjane good luck! 

   yourusername thanks jen <3

user2 NEED more lisa x y/n content 

    user7 on it 🫡

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

liked by redbullracing, yourusername, and 650,432 more

lalalalisa_m P3! That's my girl 🍾 - tagged yourusername

view comments

lilymhe love you both

*liked by lalalalisa_m and yourusername*

user16 lets goo p3

user7 "my girl" sorry- MY GIRL?

user4 hey siri, play we fell in love in october

user12 honorary wag

liked by roses_are_rosie, landonorris, and 1,034,607 more

yourusername Lalisa Love Me @/lalalalisa_m

view comments

landonorris FINALLY

yourusername love the enthusiasm

landonorris we've been waiting for over a year

alex_albon he's right

user5 OKAY PEOPLE IT'S HAPPENING. EVERYBODY STAY FUCKING CALM

user7 our fanfics came ture

user2 Jackson Wang's parties never disappoint.

user12 SCREAMING CRYING KICKING MY FEET

user3 "lisa I'm gay for you" same

user7 she's so real for that

user1 let's go lesbians let's go

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

end notes: I literally skipped my eng essay just for this lmao. this is for a pretty niche audience but I hope ya'll enjoyed it <3 idk if I'ma post more fics here but I might! thanks for reading.

[julysn]

why don’t we make a lil room in my bmw, babe?

nsfw. pure raw dirty unfiltered smut.

notes: afab reader, teat sucking, finger eye n gee (yk what i mean), YALL IN A CAR, there is no plot

wc: 950

ship: wriothesley x reader

a/n: made this on valentine’s day. pretty rushed, bland smut tbh.

forgot to post this on val day so u get it now

It was Valentine’s Day in the gorgeous nation of Fontaine.

It was a sunny, warm day, the clouds having parted to allow the Sun to smile down onto the grass with its gleaming rays.

You were out on a mission with your boss, Wriothesley, to go investigate a criminal he’d been tracking down for around a week or so. This was a highly skilled serial killer, so he was dedicating most of his time to the search.

You tagged along absentmindedly, your assistance and critical thinking skills helping out in the investigation. You were unaware of the fact that Wriothesley had wanted you to come along for another reason.

A reason more sinister than expected.

—

”So damn tight,” Wriothesley breathed out, a soft and faint smirk laying on his lips as his fingers vigorously pumped in and out of your wet cunt.

“Wrio, I..” You gasped out, breathing ragged and heavy as your hands helplessly gripped onto the leather car seats of his fashionable vehicle. Your legs subconsciously spread apart wider, giving the black-haired male more access to your intimate areas as he looked down with a look full of sensuality and lust.

He just let out a soft chuckle and continued to finger you meticulously, his cold, smooth skin sending shivers down your spine as your back arched forward and you let out loud, whiny moans.

He leaned in, his free hand crawling up your waist and coming to massage your breasts as his lips met yours, beginning a wet and sloppy make out session. You moaned into his mouth as those cold hands kneaded and fondled your tits, while he fingered you carelessly as if this was normal between you both.

”You look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Wriothesley remarked, pulling away from your lips as a small string of saliva kept your mouths connected. He began to leave wet, hot kisses down your jawline, and then your neck, where his teeth grazed your skin and he bit down, causing your lips to part to let out a breathless moan. Meanwhile, his fingers continued to pound deep in your pussy, hitting all of the best spots.

”I am,” You groaned, eyes rolling back and hips buckling forward to induce more pleasure from his fingers. You were hoping he’d put his cock in soon, and if you started begging.. it’d look pathetic, no? So you kept your mouth shut and simply let him finger you.

Wriothesley let out a soft groan, his massive erection clearly visible as his kisses trailed down from your collarbone to your areolas. His lips latched around your nipple, catching you off-guard as your moans began to get more frequent and loud. “Wrio— ah, fuck!”

His tongue swirled around your nipple, sucking hungrily on your tit as his gaze tilted upwards to meet yours. He watched as you squirmed and moaned from his ministrations; satisfied would be an understatement.

You felt your orgasm building up, slow yet noticeable, and you babbled out a warning as the irresistible urge to cum began to overcome your senses.

“Wrio, `m gonna cum, `m gonna—“

Before you could finally arrive at your destination, Wriothesley swiftly pulled away from you, fingers slipping out of your wet pussy and lips releasing your nipple as he smirked mischievously down at you. “Not so fast, Y/N.”

“Fuck off.” You rolled his eyes, shakily flashing him the middle finger as he simply laughed and leaned back from you, licking his fingers clean as he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants to his knees.

“I’ll fuck you.”

He leaned back into you again, pressing you up against the car seats as his lips slammed into yours and his dick effortlessly slid into your pussy. A loud moan left your lips, but it was drowned out as you and Wriothesley kissed and made out like never before.

The atmosphere was hot and thick, as pearls of sweat began to trickle down your forehead. You felt his tip tickle your cervix, and you moaned deeply into his intense kisses as he kept thrusting harder and faster.

Wriothesley grunted and gently kissed your forehead, his soft and gentle side showing for a mere second before his head bowed down to your chest and his lips hungrily latched onto your areolas yet again. He couldn’t get enough of your tits; they were like a powerful drug.

His free hands gripped your waist, holding you still so he could hit all of the right spots. Your head reeled back, lips parted as low and breathless groans left your throat. The intimacy being shared in the moment felt absolutely unreal.

“Wriothesley, harder, please..” You babbled mindlessly, the sexual pleasure being the only thing consuming your thoughts. Your hips bucked forward into his as your back arched like never before. Your hands slowly came up to hold onto his shoulders as he fucked you.

Wriothesley groaned and nodded as his pace became more hungry and desperate. You felt your walls clench around his massive member, trying to milk each and every little drop of pre-cum.

You were lost in your own little world of pleasure, feeling his tongue swirl and flick against your nipple as his cock pounded against your cervix. Your vision was filled with a deep haze, as you absentmindedly babbled out your moans and groans. You were too deep in the pleasure to think at this point.

Lost in the world of satisfaction and lechery, you barely noticed as your orgasm was about to overcome your senses and envelop you completely. Before you could warn him, you reached your climax, your cum blanketing his cock as he let out a deep groan and reached his own climax.

[wetsocksinbed]

shit people need to hear about COD:

Ghost isn’t some broken uwu boy. Infantilising assault victims is demeaning and disrespectful

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, König is extremely overrated for a character that only appears as a playable operator and not as anything in the campaign

You’re allowed to ship whoever you want, it’s a free world, but throwing a tantrum when people say they don’t ship GhostSoap or Korangi, and calling them homophobic (I’ve seen this too many times at this point) is disgusting and you’re essentially stereotyping us LGBTQ individuals as aggressive and pushy when it comes to queer ships. The characters of Ghost and Soap are canonically coded to be like brothers, and you need to stop thinking that a headcannon is the same as real cannon

Stop replacing Gaz with König, it’s giving ✨racism✨

Alex, König, Farah, Alejandro, Rudy and Horangi are not part of TF141, stop including them in it?????

König and Ghost are canonically enemies and wouldn’t have each other on speed dial just tag your fics as OOC at this point

the entirety of the Call of Duty franchise was coded for straight white “alpha male” boys who live in their mothers basements, stop acting like it’s anything more than that. You won’t find the representation you’re looking for in it and honestly with the way it’s headed at the moment, I don’t think you ever will

we can tell if you’ve never played the games based on how you write the fics. You don’t have to be a game fan or player, but at least do your research on the characters you’re writing about before you hit “post”

Makarov and Graves are terrible people and shouldn’t be idolised. Before you tag me with your “let people do what they want” let me remind you that Graves is canonically racist. @mockerycrow made a good post about why Makarov is a shit person and I recommend you read it

All of the characters have their flaws. Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Price, they all have done bad things. Price is known to commit war crimes if it means getting the mission done

König having social anxiety doesn’t mean he’s a broken husk. You can function completely fine with the disorder if you can find a way to distance yourself from who you are as a person. Say, like, constantly wearing a mask? I promise you that the Austrian soldier wouldn’t be a sobbing mess because he got looked at funny

Also, he is only obsessed over because of his mask and the weird obsession people on this app have with infantilising people with trauma and mental illnesses (see first paragraph regarding Ghost)

The way some of the fans obsess over the actors is uncomfortable and genuinely creepy. It’s like this generation thinks that anything behind a screen isn’t real and can’t feel anything. They’re people who act. They’re not the characters you play.

feel free to add more to this, I’m tired and sick and wanted to rant

notes:

don’t attack me with the “yeah but not me” shit. Obviously I don’t mean everyone.

this doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the games the way you want, it just means don’t fucking police it and gatekeep it and expect everyone to accept your interpretation of it

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

“Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen”

— Taylor Swift

Hello and welcome <3

I am yourlocalbadgerscales, but you can call me Jaimiee, Aspen, Alfie… literally anything you want to as long as it isn’t creepy. But I prefer Jaimiee or variations/nicknames of it!

This is my main blog, and here I will post pretty much whatever comes to mind, and I’ll reblog anything funny or important I come across.

About me:

I’m a minor, so be aware of that when you interact!

My pronouns are she/her

Die, cry, despise

Time stamp: 01:35

Main fandoms I’m in:

Harry Potter (fuck J.K R0wI!ng)

The Marauders

Taylor Swift

Conan Gray

Gaylor Swift

Not a fandom, but I’m a proud member of LGBTQIA+!

Favourite ships:

Drarry

Jegulus

Wolfstar

Deamus

Carulia (Carmen Sandiego x Julia)

Kaylor (Taylor Swift x Karlie Kloss)

Autumnflower/Summerfall (Florean Fortescue x oc!August Ollivander)

Rayamaari (Raya and the Last Dragon, Raya x Namaari)

I’m a multishipper!

Favourite artists:

Conan Gray • Taylor Swift • Eminem

Chappell Roan • Nessa Barrett

SOFIA ISELLA, to name a few!

DNI:

Queerphobes (and if you exclude certain gender identities, sexualities etc., GET OU-)

MAPs (MAP stands for Minor Attracted Person, aka pedophile. This isn’t a real sexuality in LGBTQIA+!)

Zoophiles (This isn’t a valid sexuality, either!)

Zionists

TERFs (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist, aka transphobe)… or as I like to call them, FARTs (Feminist Appropriating Reactionary Transphobe)

People who cheat on their partners (What is wrong with you?)

Porn bots (As if you’d care about my DNI)

People who hate on certain religions for no reason (feel free to interact if you hate one or many religions because of religious trauma, that is understandable and valid)

People looking for sex and stuff like that

Feel free to interact:

If you’re 18+ and you’re just here to enjoy my content without the intention of being creepy.

If you’re queer and/or an ally

If you have any questions about fandoms in I’m, I’m happy to help!

My tumblr family:

My parent @meatybunger

My child @homocidalpotat

My child in law @names-confuse-me

My other child @dragonfanplaugedr

My partners @junos-ocean-galaxy (husband 💅💍), @ravenwordss and @here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can

Tags I use for my posts are #jamstag (earlier ellastag), #anti jkr (for all my Harry Potter and/or Marauders themed posts, #jaimiee bleeds ink (for poetry) (earlier #ella bleeds ink), etc.

Here are a few of my sideblogs: @regregregulusblack (roleplay blog), @floreanfortescuetruther (blog where I brainrot about SUCH an underrated character and his OC boyfriend, August Ollivander!), @flo-fortescue (rp blog!), @slitherpuffinstories (place for microfics), @urlocalbadgerscales (main blog #2) etc… I have about 10 sideblogs, many of them secret 🤫

Feel free to send asks and write to me privately, I love to make friends! Also, drink some water. Stay hydrated! 💧 I love you ❤️

Love Jaimiee xx

[inkbagel]

Idk why I decided to bring this up again but why are people so weird about llorumi

I’ve seen. So many posts where they’re MAKING OUT and the caption says “don’t tag this as a ship guys!!! I hate them as a ship don’t tag it as such I don’t agree wit that!!!” Which is so weird to me and if you do that PLEASE explain your reasonings (but like in a nice way or I’ll block you too)

Someone told me very aggressively that they don’t want it to get tagged as a ship bc they don’t want people to confuse abusive relationships as romantic even though they had a bunch of posts about the same kind of relationship with two men and they said it was romantic so nobody thinks this is what romance looks like which is probably doing the opposite of what you want it to do bc you’re basically telling people abusive relationships are the opposite of romance which is not true. How do you think it evolved into an abusive relationship.

The way I interpret that is saying romantic relationships CANNOT have any abuse in them which is extremely bad to tell people because most abusive relationships stem from romantic relationships and saying they don’t can lead to people staying in abusive relationships instead of getting the hell outta there.

Someone else also told me aggressively that friends can make out platonically which like. Okay man. Keep kissing your homies on the mouth. You do you. No homo tho obviously. I TOTALLY get it.

I’m mostly just ranting about random people who hate me instead of the actual topic so on the ACTUAL topic why do yall hate llorumi so much but LOVEE Toxic yaoi/yuri. Why is sora and jordana homoerotically stabbing each other to death better than Lloyd and harumi romantically stabbing each other to death. What’s the difference. “Oh but harumis abusive and horrible!” So are all your favorite male characters. Leave her alone you hate women and you’re woobifying Lloyd. You’re just a horrible person.

And for the final time if you disagree with me cool tell me why just don’t fucking call me an idiot again bc I don’t kiss my homies goodnight I’m happy to debate I’m not going to fight