#t: ptsd

[killugonficlibrary]

full count by nogoodalone ( T | 73,866 | 13/13 )

Killua Zoldyck’s carefully crafted strategy to graduate early was all going according to plan. Until the beginning of his last scheduled year, when his academic advisor decided to share that he was missing all of his required athletics credits. And that all gym classes were full for the year. And, no, scanning into the workout center once a week could not count for credit.

What could count for full credit, though, was being a practicing athlete on a university sports team for a minimum of two semesters. Great news for the men’s baseball coach whose team desperately needed a new pitcher and was willing to give opposite-of-athletic Killua a shot. No hitting required, minimal fielding promised, and an unexpectedly killer curveball later, and Killua had a #99 jersey with his last name on it.

The issue? Killua knew nothing about baseball. Luckily for him, team captain and catcher Gon Freecss had selflessly volunteered to teach Killua everything he needed to know about the game outside of practices.

Luckily for him, Killua loved study sessions. And baseball pants. And maybe the fact that things didn’t always go according to plan.

~~~

a modern uni & baseball killugon au | for the 2023hxhbb

[kingtuna]

"C-PTSD? Heh, no. CT-PTSD"

*laughs histerically as The HorrorsTM reflect in their eyes*

–every single clone ever

[worstloki]

love the idea of the Avengers adding new members but being stingy about rooms so the OG Avengers each get their own but Bucky and Loki are forced to share one under the guise of it being 'healthy interaction'

[spirk-trek]

Contact Fanzine #6 | Merle Decker, 1979 This was also the cover art for Home is the Hunter by Bev Volker, which can be read here in PDF format (beginning p. 214)

[scrunckled-idiot]

I imagine Medic giving a check-up to a tiny (just to scare them of course) opening his own mouth in that uncanny smile like

"Now, say 'AAAAH~..."

And the poor thing so scared JSHSJ

—🍭 anon

teefs

[mobblespsycho100]

Kabru is so real tbh. when he said "I wanted you to develop an interest in people too" it gen makes me so oughhh because like!! he wants to make Laios share his interest too... he's curious abt Laios' genuine appreciation and special interest in monsters n what it means for humanity... he's been so patient just observing and trying to be by his side and watch the moment Laios becomes a leader/defeats the dungeon... he wants to talk abt his special interest he wants to be friends aaahgh

[vanlegion]

Grimmons Nation Feeling like

[silverskye13]

Will enby Helsknight/trans Tanguish/top surgery scars/stubborn avoidant Welsknight in a gender crisis make it into the main story of RnS? Like, a full acknowledgment of it? Because yes, us on tumblr are aware (and happily bully RnS Wels for it) but I’m curious to how it may be brought up in the main storyline instead of rambles and drabbles. (Don’t get me wrong, those rambles and drabbles are what get me through the day. But my best friend, who isn’t in the MCYT fandom whatsoever, just caught up with RnS and doesn’t use tumblr, and besides spamming her with tumblr posts I wanna know how much I can revel in the glory of the skrunkles with her!)

That is a great question, actually. And the answer is I don't really know.

So this is one of the downsides to writing things chapter by chapter. If I had gone into this going "oh heck yeah they're trans", this would've come up in the plot way sooner. It's nice information 1) for all the trans folks reading and 2) because it has the potential to inform the themes in the narrative. This whole story is about two chief things I think: death [the inevitability of] and identity [what defines you and why]. Why should you care if literally no one else (including the universe) does? That would be so cool to speak about in terms of a trans allegory! Why do you care about gender when it's just one thing in a world of crazy things? Or at the very least, how does it inform your identity? But this is a change I made on a whim suddenly, and I know Exactly Where I Want This Plot To Go, so trans topics and allegories as Plot Points probably won't happen.

On the more technical side of introducing trans characters -- how do you do that without just dropping "oh btw they're trans" in? Like, how do you make it a relevant thing to talk about, that doesn't feel forced or shoehorned in, especially this late in the story? Probably me overthinking, but I read it done wrong so often. It gets tired. And if I ever work on my original stories, there are trans characters in there! If I can figure out how to Do It Well in a fanfic, then I can figure out how to do it in original fiction someday maybe. So I kinda wanna take the introduction seriously? I've actually been thinking about it so much I've thought about rewriting the intro to the next chapter ahaha [it already needs rewritten in general, there's a lot going on, but the intro was going to be Helsknight waking up from something, and he sleeps shirtless, and not addressing top surgery scars then would be kinda silly I think.]

I can say at the very least, Gender Avoidant Wels probably won't factor in the story much. He is a character, but I don't think he'll become Enough of a character to faithfully address something like a trans self discovery arc. At best his issues with gender might be mentioned in passing.

Sorry! I know you probably want a better answer! My answer is basically: I don't know I'm still working on it. I want it to be there, but the capacity it's there is undecided.

That being said, I've been sitting on this glorious ask since the shenanigans started and the temptation to just Do That grows every time I read it:

[nqn]

did you guys hear the rumor? the king and his ranger snuggle at night!

[killugonficlibrary]

all the pretty lights by blueberryberet ( M | 47,633+ | 12/16 )

Killua is a rockstar with some… messy habits. That’s how he tells it to his sister when she calls, the reality of it is a lot more destructive.

Except now she’s not calling, she’s in his hotel room writing on his arm cast (no, he doesn’t remember how he broke it) and demanding to join him and his band for their cross-country tour. He can’t send her home for obvious reasons. He needs someone to keep an eye on her, or more accurately, keep her eyes off the disaster that is his life.

And when his band manager Bisky says she knows the perfect person he thinks that maybe, he’s finally got lucky, and maybe it will all be fine.

Except things are never, ever, fine with him.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚Uploads every Thursday and Sunday ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

[starfishinthedistance]

I've talked a bit about this before but if someone tells you they feel like their trauma wasn't bad enough to be valid and your response is to just start talking about """big T and little t trauma""" I hate you and sincerely hope you step on glass.

All that you're saying is essentially "Oh you feel like your trauma isn't bad enough compared to other traumatized people and it's causing you a lot of emotional turmoil? I have the solution! Here are two arbitrarily created boxes I've called 'Big Scary Traumatizing Valid Events' and 'small events but you're having reactions so I guess we have to acknowledge you', and you're actually in that second box! You actually don't have the same problem as the Big Scary Event People! They have the big problem and you have the little one! Do you feel better yet?"

Like, I've already talked about how trauma and its severity is subjective and the Big T vs little t bullshit has no set definition and varies wildly from person to person, but even setting that aside, do you think creating another box and separating the """little t people""" from other survivors is going to make them feel more valid and secure? Epescially how when people talk about """little t trauma""" they always talk about it like "oh the event wasn't that bad but you had a Big Reaction and it was your Feelings that caused the trauma" like...you're essentially saying they're overreacting disguised with a bunch of therapy buzzwords.

"The event wasn't that bad but we still feel hurt 😢😢😢". Go fuck yourself. ESPECIALLY when therapists/psychiatrists/etc tell this to their clients. To have a professional tell you your trauma doesn't fit into 'bad event box' and is just caused by you overreacting does so much fucking damage. Professionals should fucking know better, especially if you claim to be trauma informed.

Just say "Trauma is any event where the brain feels it is in danger, and trauma symptoms are simply when the danger response prolongs past the event. Doubting your experiences and the validity of them is a very common and severe trauma symptom. It's a way of your mind trying to separate itself from the trauma to protect you from the pain of it, and it's observed in almost all survivors with all kinds of trauma. In cases where the trauma is abuse, it's also indictive of severe psychological abuse using methods like gaslighting and other kinds of manipulation."

There. Gets the message across better than telling them they're just apart of the 'not that bad' group of survivors.

God I hate the wellness TikToker-ification of trauma discussions.

[who-dat-homeless]

I hope there are rehabilitation/adaptation programs for starfleet officers

Because no matter how much I love them and believe they're a good people, at the end of the day they're an army men returning home from traumatizing events IT'S DANGEROUS TO LEAVE THEM WITHOUT SOCIAL HELP

[k1tty-b0t77]

For all of those without a father, or ones being abused, neglected, etc, I'm so fucking sorry. You don't deserve that. Take care of yourself today. Fuck what he wants today. Today is your day, I've decided. Eat something yummy, take a shower, take a walk, watch something funny or comforting. You deserve it for putting up with that shit. I love you and happy You Day.

[spirk-trek]

Contact Fanzine #6 | Merle Decker, 1979 These pieces were drawn for Home is the Hunter by Bev Volker, which can be read here in PDF format (beginning p. 214)

[psalm40speakstome]

Day after tomorrow I have a phone call with a potential OCD Therapist that I’ve been emailing.

Any thoughts, prayers, good vibes, really anything would be appreciated.

[braiindeath]

i wasn’t crazy, i was right. there is a difference.