#szk imagine

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

Where You Belong

Fem!Reader When you move into a house with 8 men for six months, one seems to be do everything he can to make you stay. <pt3 pt4 pt5>

♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡

You felt the heat of his breath against your skin, the sensation grounding you in a moment that felt almost too vivid to be real. His hands, warm and steady and calloused, cradled your face with a gentleness that made your heart ache.

The closeness was suffocating in the best way- the way his lips brushed yours, hesitant but deliberate, made you forget about everything else. The way he made you feel was undeniable. It was safe and exhilarating all at once.

The way he touched you felt reverent- like every movement, every graze of his fingertips along your jawline, was a confession. His thumb lingered on the edge of your lower lip, and your breath hitched as he leaned in closer. The world around you faded further into obscurity, leaving only the press of his body against yours and the overwhelming heat between you.

When his lips claimed yours again, it was deeper this time- slow, exploratory, and unhurried, his teeth grazing into your bottom lip gently and leisurely, as if he was savoring every second. Your fingers found their way into his hair, tangling in the damp strands as you pulled him impossibly closer. There was no rush, no urgency, just a steady, all-consuming connection that left you breathless and yearning. His other hand trailed down your side, grounding you, sending a jolt through your veins.

His voice, low and gravelly, murmured your name like a secret meant only for you. It sent a shiver down your spine, and you clung to him, afraid that if you let go, the moment would shatter. The haze around you made it all the more tantalizing, and you wanted to say his name, but it was stuck in your throat. Refusing to crawl its way past the same lips interlocked with his. Then just as it started to form-

BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP-

You were in your room, tangled in your sheets, the early morning light peeking through the curtains. Your alarm was beeping and you felt dizzy.

What was that dream?

Your chest rose and fell as you tried to catch your breath. It was just a dream, you reminded yourself, though the phantom sensation of whoever you were kissing's touch lingered, trailing goosebumps along your skin.

Pressing a hand to your flushed cheek, you tried to shake the vividness of it from your mind. It was so real… too real. But who was it?

It wasn't my ex...deep down I know...but who else...

The thought followed you as you stumbled out of bed and shuffled toward the kitchen, still trying to piece together the fragments of the dream. You barely had time to orient yourself before you were bombarded.

“Y/N! Morning!” Jisung practically tackled you with a hug, his bright grin melting away the remnants of your sleepy haze.

“Ji, I just woke up,” you groaned, though you couldn’t suppress the small laugh bubbling up as he clung to you like an overexcited puppy, and you leaned in, his embrace becoming something you had quickly gotten familiar with the past month.

“Doesn’t matter! Morning hugs are mandatory!” he declared, finally letting you go. "We made you breakfast since its your late day."

You couldn't help but smile as you sat down at the kitchen island next to Jeongin who for some odd reason looked guilty. 

You rose and eyebrown and sniffed the air. 

"Jeongin..."

He didn't answer.

"Innie." 

Still no answer.

You sighed. 

"Yah, Oppa." 

The fox eye boy turned to you. "Yes."

"Did you use my shampoo again?"

"Why would you think that?" He asked with a serious face.

"Because it smells like green apples."

"Are you sure you aren't smelling the apple slices on your plate? You eat them so much you could become a green apple."

You stood up to sniff his hair. Not noticing the onslaught of eyes on you.

"Yah, is our baby bread finally making moves?" Chris teased but before he could answer you smacked Jeongin's arm.

"You dingbat! You smell like green apples- that shampoo set cost me fifty dollars! It's hair care repair!" You exclaimed emphasizing each word with a smack.

"Ah! I said I didn't- is that anyway to speak to your elder- AH HYUNG SHE'S CHOKEHOLDING ME-"

You didn't notice as a pair of quiet eyes zoned in on your interaction with the youngest man, as you interacted with anyone in the house.

They’d all welcomed you like family, with the exception of some awkward moments, but soon it just felt like a household of siblings, you being the baby and the girl. And moments like this did nothing but prove that dynamic.

But the adjustment wasn’t without its bumps. On both sides. Some bumps hidden, some more prominent.

Like balancing your own job while trying to navigate their chaotic schedules had left you stretched thin.

Still, moments like these made it worth it.

Felix’s pancakes, Jisung’s endless jokes, the way Hyunjin would teach you to paint on your off time like he was Bob Ross, the way Seungmin would tease you in his quiet, sharp-witted way, and Chris and Changbin treated you as if you were their sister- even the still tense moments you had with Minho it all felt like home in a way you hadn’t expected.

Even if you wish the moments with the latter would become eased. 

You overall enjoyed eveerything, from the busy mornings, to the late nights hearing the boys in their makeshift studio, even if it meant you got a few less hours of sleep. 

Overall it made you feel like you were getting your life back on track, to be fully on your feet in the next five months. 

But things had been going too well for too long, and that afternoon your world began to crumble before it could even truly begin to mend.

The conversation from your boss had been curt, impersonal:

"We’ve decided to move in a different direction. Effective by the end of today, your position has been terminated."

You rreplayed it over and over, hoping you’d misunderstood, but the words didn’t change.

The job you’d fought so hard to keep, the stability you’d clung to, was gone in an instant. 

Just like you had lost everything with your boyfriend in an instant, this was like a moment of Deja Vu. Yet somehow the feeling felt even worse than it had when your relationship of years went down the drain.

By the time you got back to the apartment, head filled with negative thoughts as you walked home from the bus stop in drizzling rain, tears were streaming down your face. You’d tried to hold it together, but the weight of it all was too much.

You stood at the doorstep of the front porch, letting it out, not wanting anyone to see you like this. You started to wipe your face, reaching for your key.

You didn’t even realize someone was there until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Turning, you saw Chan, his expression soft with concern.

“Hey, what happened?” he asked gently, crouching slightly to meet your eyes, and setting his umbrella on the porch.

You shook your head, trying to wipe your tears away. But he reached his arms out pulling you into them.

"Its okay. You'll be okay."

The dam broke then, and you poured out everything. How you lost your job today and how it was making you feel. How it made you worried and how you were regretting everything. How you’d been feeling overwhelmed, and now burdened; how you weren’t sure what to do next. Chan listened intently, his presence solid and unwavering as he rubbed your back.

When you finally finished, he gave your shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “We’ve got you,” he said firmly. “Actually, I was going to bring this up soon anyway, but now’s as good a time as any. We could really use someone to help manage our schedules and handle some of the day-to-day stuff. If you’re interested, the job’s yours. No hesitation.”

You blinked at him, the offer catching you completely off guard. “I...”

“Don't even think about saying no. Matter of fact...you start tonight."

"Chris..."

"You’re already part of the family, Y/N-ah. This just makes it official,” he said with a grin, petting your head real quick. 

You began to cry again and he pulled you back into his arms until you heard a voice from behind.

"Hyung-ah..." You turned to see Minho and Jisung looking at Chan. They'd visibly just come back from shopping, green apples and your favorite protein powder that Changbin had used up sticking out from the bag Minho was holding. 

Chris smiled and went to go help with the bags and you looked at Minho, something unrecognizable flashing through his eyes. Jisung quickly ran up to you, asking about some anime you two were planning on binging later, drawing your attention away from him.

************************************************************************

Later that evening, after dinner, you found yourself sitting at the dining table, looking through a stack of potential venues for the next show the guys were planning. Chan had explained all that you needed to do for now and you were focused on doing your best to not disappoint.

The evening had settled into a calm silence after everyone ate and the boys had scattered around, some relaxing in the living room, others scrolling through their phones. It was easier to focus with the quiet; papers spread out in front of you.

The gig locations were a bit overwhelming, and despite your best efforts to focus, you felt a twinge of uncertainty. But you didn't feel uncertain enough to ask any questions just yet.

Minho approached you quietly, like a cat, his footsteps soft as he stood behind you. His gaze lingered on the papers for a moment, and then he pointed to one with a quick, no-nonsense motion.

He leaned over you and you tensed slightly.

“This one,” he said, his voice low. “It’s small. Good acoustics.”

You looked at the location he indicated, nodding slowly. It made sense now that you thought about it. More of an intimate environment, better for fan interaction. You wanted to ask if there was anything else to take into consideration, but before you could, Minho was already stepping away.

Without another word, he moved towards the kitchen. The sound of dishes clinking softly filled the space as he started cleaning up. It was a simple, quiet moment, but it felt...oddly intimate. You watching him do something so simple. You shook your head and turned back on your work, but your attention kept drifting towards him against your will.

Minho moved around the kitchen with ease, his broad shoulders and strong arms flexing as he scrubbed plates. The way he concentrated, the quiet focus in his actions, made you momentarily forget everything else. He was chewing on a piece of gum as he worked to tidy up, and the movement caught you eye more than anything.

Focus Y/N. You lucked out with this you need to focus...

Then, a soft sound caught your attention, snapping you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see him setting a plate in front of you. On it, a series of apple slices, carefully cut into small, delicate rabbit shapes.

The green apples shimmered under the dim light, their crisp freshness promising a much-needed break.

“You seemed anxious at dinner,” Minho said, his voice almost absent, as though he hadn’t meant to break the silence at all. He turned back toward the kitchen, not looking at you.

You stared at the apples for a moment, feeling the quiet stillness of the room pressing in on you. You picked up a slice, biting into it, the tang of the green apple sharp and sweet.

As you chewed, your eyes lingered on Minho. He was still in the kitchen, but now he was moving with a certain rhythm- something soothing in the way he worked, purpose with every movement. The clink of the dishes, the hum of his focused energy, filled the space between you. Now did it not only feel oddly intimate but oddly comforting.

But at the same time, you noticed the tension in his posture, the subtle furrow of his brow as he wiped down the counter. He seemed lost in thought. There was something in his expression, a flicker of discomfort that you couldn’t quite place.

In the silence, you found yourself wondering what was going on in his mind. What was he thinking?

Minho’s hands paused on the counter for a second, his gaze drifting out the window, his brow still furrowed. You couldn’t read him, but there was something unmistakable in the way he seemed conflicted.

His mind was racing, and he knew it. He couldn’t quite place the odd feeling swirling inside of him.

Part of him was glad you were here, sharing space with him and the others. You were friendly, easygoing, and yet, there was something about you that got under his skin and irked him.

Was he jealous that you were becoming so close to the guys?

Was that it?

Or maybe it was just the awkwardness that had lingered from the first time he’d met you? He wasn’t sure.

But then, something shifted. It was a thought so fleeting, so strange, that it stopped him in his tracks.

When he had seen the apples at the store, he’d thought of you.

And for some reason, that thought unsettled him more than anything else.

“Maybe I’m just being a dick,” he muttered to himself, the words slipping out quietly. He was still scrubbing the countertop, but his mind was somewhere else, tangled in a mess of feelings he couldn’t untangle.

He was distant around you, so much so you seemed to be a little wary around him. But he was only distant because of this odd feeling. He had never been around girls all that much. Moving in with the guys at a rather early age. And he had much rather be in solitude than interact with others.

“Maybe I'm just not used to being around girls,” he thought, but it didn’t sit right. He knew that wasn’t entirely true. It couldn’t that simple.

And then the feeling hit him again- the odd tension, the confusion.

He wanted you around, he realized. He liked having you in the house, even though it irked him.

Maybe it was just the mess of new dynamics.

Maybe it was jealousy because it seemed to spike whenever you were hanging out with one of the guys. They had been his friends first.

So that was the most plausible solution, wasn't it?

Or maybe it was something else. He just couldn’t pinpoint it.

All he knew was there was something about you. Something that made him think about you when he sliced saw green apples, of all things.

Something that made him want to cut those apples into little rabbits, because he had seen you barely touch your plate.

Minho took a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. There was no denying that whatever it was, he couldn’t shake the feeling.

Not now, not with the way you were sitting there, quietly eating the apples he’d prepared for you, as you scribbled something down, quietly bouncing one of your legs.

Is she always that anxious?

He let out a quiet exhale and turned back to the sink.

“I’m definitely overthinking this,” he muttered under his breath.

But...he wasn't exactly opposed to the thought of you being in his head.

♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡

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[emotsper]

STARTS SCREAMIGM

>:3c

Hope ya like itttt~ <3

???????? THIS IS FUCKE DUP WHERES THE NON ANGST YOU SAID THERES SOME!!! HELLO!!!

[jonathankatwhatever]

6 September 2023, and you’re wearing me out. Here’s the main concept: fusion is the reduction of 2T into a specified IC. This is an old idea that takes life because we can label the threads. There is the thread of IC to LC to CM64, etc. That comes out of the Minimal Context of 1 and 0, so IC is the non-specified 1 to that 0, and that grows. We can also now clearly construct the specified form, and that comes from the other way, meaning it’s defined out of higher into lower terms so the specification fuses not only to IC but to MC so existence itself becomes a joining of 1 to 1 so 1 and 0 become 1 and 1.

It’s that energy behind coupling, behind pairing. And the idea extends to atomic level fusion because then you’re literally squeezing out the grid squares constructions, the patterns, the threads, the bundles of counting.

This connects to the underlying mechanism behind turbulence. It’s fairly easy to see it’s a consequence of I//I, that a stable process is not because the reduction isn’t stable because the threads conflict and there isn’t sufficient room to work those out to greater smoothness. But it’s also that this turbulent energy is squeezed out of the continuity, that there is gs construction entering your space, like if you’re on a plane, and that plane is being jiggled because some external construction is causing that, like when it’s on the edge of a low pressure front and the pressure differential creates edges to the weather which connects to the location of the low and the relative high, and those shapes can’t resolve without conflict as they reduce into the construction of this reality. In D-structure terms, as the D4-3//3-4 process generates the wavefront that is our counted existence in our shared tangible space, then turbulence occurs as constructions relate. It’s the result of there being too much gs construction to fit into the moment. Like if you go too fast on a curve, you’ll leave the road.

Again, amazing work.

So, we fuse and that unleashes energy. That’s what’s behind the idea of pairing across a 1-0Segment: in Triangular, they both relate to the 3rd End, the one we see on the midline. That means we’ve worked out both aspects of the K’ing: the fission and the fusion sides. Cool.

————-

Fusion over a 1-0Segment means to the midline, to the 3rd End, and rotating that so it pairs I//I to the 2 being fused. So as joining occurs at both Ends, the 3rd End spilts. That pumps out all which doesn’t reduce through the Attached structures or constructions.

———-

CR. So imagine we meet in the middle and that locates the midline so what we see is the coherent you, the one compiled to make a whole. That invokes alternation over a quadrant because that ++ draws the midline as szK. You can see the fD draw as Triangular over gs. You can see a 1-0Segment connect yK and xK.

Okay. Maybe I can get this out. The very first logical problem in my vision of an eternal level war required a strategy and a weapon. The strategy was to overwhelm. Treat all battles as though they’re our only battle and maintain the ability to do that. Analysis of the pattens to predict over the different terms. The weapon was the implosion mechanism, like a black hole that pops into existence and which this pulls the nearby space to the other side. It’s like a piece taken and removed from the board in your favor.

I imagined this without an actual mechanism. This is it.

Now that I have had a few minutes, I remember the idea was initially violent and became less so as details developed. From images of planets exploding to the intangible structures being shifted to the positive cooperative in pairings. The weapon shifts where you are in the intangible and that shifts tangible you.

It’s nice to find your visions were true.

————-

4 images and they appear to me to be 2 lines of binary, the top one being 8, the bottom 13. Should I look at the difference of 5 as an nSquare, so the quadrants all make sense?

It was a long walk in the humidity. Feet are tired.

[coupsie-daisies]

Out of Step | Bang Chan

Pairing: Bang Chan x GN!Reader

Genre: hurt no comfort, angst

Summary: Sometimes people aren’t meant to be together, no matter how badly it hurts to think about it, and sometimes the one is really just someone.

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Breakups, fights, broken hearts, Chan cries, kinda dismissive Chan

A/N: I apologize once again to those of you that like hurt no comfort (especially those of you on my taglist)...I’m just a sucker for pain. Might turn this into a multi-part thing if people like it and want to see what happens

Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726  // @wooyussy // @sunnytaes // @burningupp // @bunnypig18 // @ferrethyun // @tyungun // @brownieracha // @kwanisms

Masterlist

This fanfiction is property of @/hobi-is-golden, reposting on any platform without explicit permission is prohibited

"Why does it always feel like we're just out of step with each other?"

There had been a time when you'd wholeheartedly believed that you'd spend your life in Chan's arms. You'd fall asleep to the steady sound of his breathing, and you'd wake to his dimpled smile and his morning breath. There was a time when you'd sincerely believed that things would turn out to be a dream come true. Once upon a time, it was you and Chan against the world.

The saying 'if you love someone, you have to let them go' had never really made sense to you. If you loved someone, you fought tooth and nail to keep them close. You cried in the bathroom in the middle of the night so you wouldn't wake them from the only decent sleep they'd gotten in a week or more. If you loved someone, you broke yourself down to build them up when they needed it most, and if they didn't notice, that was okay. Once upon a time you could feel the light in your hands, but now it was pouring out through your fingers.

Falling in love with Chan had been almost too easy. He had the kindest heart of any man you'd ever met, and the intelligence to teach kindness to everyone he saw, in everything that he did. The day he asked you to go out with him was the best day of your relationship.

Like any relationship, yours had its ups and downs, only a few minor concerns at first. Every fight was resolved with an apology and a serious conversation, topped off with a make-up kiss. Nothing came between the two of you, neither of you would allow that to happen.

But everyone gets tired sometimes. Sometimes, when it's you against the world, sometimes you lose. Sometimes meals were left cold as you waited for him to come home from the studio. Sometimes you weren't priority number one. Or two. Sometimes neither was he.

You weren't entirely sure when things became irreparable. You didn't know when you'd reached the point of no return, where resentment began to cloud the love you'd grown comfortable in, but when the realization sunk in, you had fought harder than ever. You'd broken your own heart, trying to dig yourself out of the hole and bringing the dirt down on top of you instead.

"Is it really so bad to want a future with you?" You asked, begging him to listen to the desperation in your voice as you battled the truth in your own head. You threw your hands up in frustration. "I'm not trying to ruin your career, Christopher. I just want you to think about this."

"I can't do this right now," Chan sighed. That was always his answer nowadays, and it wasn't even really a lie. He saw it coming too, the inevitable end to the love the two of you had shared for nearly three years. You sighed. You really weren't trying to rush him into anything, but you were grasping at straws. Marriage seemed like a typical thing to discuss after being in a relationship for this long, it's not like you were asking him to propose tomorrow.

"I think you just don't want to be with me anymore," You snapped.

"Maybe I don't."

His words sucked the air out of your lungs. You both just stood there opposite one another. Just like that, all of the work you'd put into fixing the cracks, patching the holes, it all went up in smoke. Your entire world shifted. When you looked in his eyes, they didn't look any different. There was no big change, it wasn't as if you'd suddenly fallen out of love with each other. He just looked exhausted. You imagined you did too.

"You don't want to be with me?" You repeated back to him, utterly dumbfounded.

"I-" He looked away, tears welling in his eyes. And even despite the dagger he was digging into your stomach, you wanted nothing more than to reach up and touch his face, and tell him that everything was going to be okay. "Of course I want to be with you. I love you."

You looked at him again, trying not to get tripped up in the rubble of what you imagined to be your happily ever after. You'd never felt this cold and alone, especially not when you were with Chan. Your stomach was uneasy, and you were having trouble understanding him.

"But maybe we just...can't. Maybe we're just not ready. I'm sorry, but I think we need to be done."

And through the pain in your chest, you finally understood. There was growing left to do until you could fit your jagged pieces together with his. You two just didn't fit the mold.

For the first time, you truly understood what the saying meant, because you'd rather suffer a thousand years without him than be the reason he was crying like he was now, tears free falling down his cheeks, his breath coming out rough and desperate.

Every day after that became a little easier, the weight lifted off your chest, and your friends pampered you with days out to keep your mind off of things. But you still found yourself wondering from time to time. You wondered if he still got out of bed in the middle of the night to write down lyric ideas. You wondered if he still liked autumn evenings the best. You wondered if he had someone else to lay beside him now, or if he still thought about you the way you did him. And more than anything, when you felt especially alone in the world, you wondered if the two of you were more compatible now than you had been then. You wondered if he'd still kiss you awake, still write you silly little love songs. You wondered if he still held out hope like you did.

Or maybe, despite everything you'd shared, the two of you were destined to walk forever side by side and out of step.

copyright © 2022 hobi-is-golden, all rights reserved

[mingiswow]

Boyfriend!Lee Know

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there’s any mistake. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

ah… our mischievous cat boy

ok, it’s hard for me to read him ngl

he comes off as very cold sometimes but then he’ll become the softest

anywho

I feel like baby boy lee know is hard to conquer

so it took a lot for you to win his heart

but when you do,,,, oof prepare yourself

I feel like you’d catch his eye while working

You were one of the staff at the tv station where he mc’s

and he saw how hard you’d work, making sure everything was right

running from side to side checking on everyone without losing your smile and your sympathy

don’t tell him but he fell for your smile

so seeing you every week and slowly interacting with each other made him grow fond of you

and after discussing to himself if he should or not he asked you out

you were quite shocked but said yes nonetheless

after all, you ain’t dumb and he is a gorgeous human being

let’s be honest here: he LOVES to show you off to the boys

you are his precious girl and he is the lucky man to be with you

“you’re so annoying after you started going out with y/n”

“annoying because you’re single and lonely”

proud proud proud boyfriend

he is your biggest supporter

will always be there for you

I think he’ll make it big when asking you to be his girlfriend

not like flash mob and public stuff hell no

I’m talking more like fancy dinner on a rooftop just for the two of you

soft music on the bg and shit

Minho is not much fond of pda

He prefers to show his affection just to you

But he’ll eventually hold his hand or put his hand on your thigh if he’s feeling jealous

talking about that… I feel like he gets jealous easily

not bc he doesn’t trust you

he doesn’t trust the others around you

and he gets self-conscious a lot because of his idol life and he feels like he can’t give you what you deserve

Which tends to make you two fight really petty fights

like… for the most stupid things

but you can’t stay much longer without talking to each other because you are really close to each other

and you value your friendship

so you usually just pretend the fight never happened and go on with your lives

however… if it’s a more serious fight I feel like Minho will want to sit and talk like two grown-ups

He hates making you upset

so he’ll calm his nerves and wait for you to calm your before speaking again

And he is a very mature guy so you guys always talk it out the fight

Ok… so bear with me

I think minho is an ass guy

I think he’ll like to have you in his lap while kissing and making out just so he can grab your butt

just so he can hear your little moans and whines

smug smirk on his lips when you react to his touches

you know which smug I’m talking about

Little mf

So yeah, I feel like his kisses are very urgent

he just wants to taste, to feel, to touch your lips as much as possible

Nsfw from here on

Minho is hard to decipher

Because I want to tell he’s a dom

But I honestly feel like he’s on the more vanilla side

Sorry minho Stans

But hey! Vanilla doesn’t mean boring

He likes to make love to you

That’s the real thing

He loves to appreciate and enjoy and touch and feel and praise your body

He loves to tell you that you are the most beautiful thing in the world

And he is lucky to have you all for him naked

He’s a sweet talker

He can make you cum just by saying sweet little nothings in your ear

no jokes

but we all agree he is a T E A S E

so prepare yourself to get teased to the point you beg for him to give you what you want

bc he loves the way you looked all desperate and messy from lovemaking him and him only

like I said, he likes love making but don’t expect him to not have his rough nights

when he’s feeling extra stressed or overwhelmed by his work or things in general he likes to take you rough

Won’t say anything will just pound into your hole or your mouth with deep breaths and grunts

Will 100% grunt your name when he cums

apologizes after and make you guys dinner

like I mentioned before, he’s an ass man

so he loves when you reverse ride him

ass all perked up in front of him so he can ones the soft skin

high key loves 69

Will eat/take you like a champ

even tho he likes to receive more than give

aftercare for him is pretty simple

just likes to hug you close to his body and keep whispering sweet nothings for you to sleep

That if he doesn’t fall asleep first

[purplelalaland]

“Is any of you going to explain what the fuck was all that bullshit about?” Minho’s voice is low, coming out in between his teeth. His body looks relax, a complete opposite from the fury in his eyes.

Making him mad was something hard to do, he usually didn’t take anything personal and cared too little about what others did or say. That’s why Han knew whenever it happened, whenever Minho got angry, it was something no one would want to be witness of.

But not only Minho was angry. Changbin was too, and Jisung knew they probably took things a little too far this time.

“For a moment I thought the judges were going to see us fighting,” Felix says, he scratches the back of his neck, his eyes fixed on the ground, too scared to look at anyone. And Han can’t stop the bit if guilt making its way through him by seeing Felix acting this way.

“Everything was alright at the end,” he says trying to sound relax, as if him and Chan didn’t just almost ruin their whole presentation. “The judges were amazed by our stage.”

“But we could’ve been disqualified before even having a chance to perform! That was so fucking selfish of both of you! what the fuck where you thinking?!”

Hyunjin’s voice is like squeaky chalk against a blackboard. And what makes it more annoying to Han is that he is right. They were being selfish.

Chan and him almost fucked up real bad. But what dis the rest of the guys expected him to do when Chan came to him ready to pick a fight? Run away? Hide? Granted Chan looked really intimidating but he wasn’t about to chicken out and let him get away with that stupid attitude of his. Someone needed to stop him and Han didn’t mind being that person. He was thrilled to be honest.

After the fight the had after the party the only thing Han wanted was to show Bang Chan how stupid he was acting, pretending to be better than everyone and judging other people’s actions. It’s not really like he wanted the fight to get to the point they almost took it, but if that was the only way to make him understand, what could’ve he done?

“I told you both to stop the bullshit,” Chanbing says in such a disappointed tone it makes Han realize how stupid he was. “I told you to fix it and you almost ruined everything for what? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?!”

“Guys I don’t think yelling will help right now,” Seungmin says. He looks concerned but above everything else he looks like the only person that can maintain whatever little peace is left in the room. “What is done is done, we just have to make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“That’s bullshit!” Minho says shaking his head, his eyes fixed on Han and then on Chan. “First, we had to deal with Hyunjin’s and Han’s stupid rivalry or whatever the fuck that was, and now this?!”

“It seems like there is a common denominator,” Hyunjin whispers, but Han hears it clearly. And as much as he will like to tell him what’s on his mind, he keeps quiet. He knows now is not the moment to make things worse.

“What’s going on Han?” Seungmin ask in his calm voice and Han stomach turns.

Why does everyone thinks this is his fault? He knows that he might not be the easiest going person sometimes, and maybe he carries more anger inside him that he will like to admit, wanting to fight everyone and anyone at times, but this time it wasn’t him. Bang Chan is the one who started it and he was just ready to defend himself. But just as he is just about to protest, someone cuts him off.

“It was my fault,” Chan says, and that surprises everyone.

“What do you mean?” Minho asks, confused.

Of course, no one could think Chan is capable of being an asshole. He looks like someone who won’t ever let his impulses rule over his head, he is someone reliable and centered. But this time he let his feelings take over him and he didn’t understand why.

Why would he want to start a fight with Han unprovoked? Why was he so bothered by the fact that Han had confronted him about y/n? And why was he so mad about finding out he had feelings for her?

Chan knew the love he had for y/n was the same type of loved he had for his siblings, but finding out Han loved y/n in the kind of way he loved Ash once, that had made him furious. Even more than when he found out y/n feelings for Hyunjin were actually reciprocated.

Why was he so bothered by the idea of Han loving y/n?

That had been the question that came to his mind right after Minho and Changbin broke off what could’ve been a horrible fight between him and Han. He didn’t know why he started it until they were away from each other right before their names were called out to perform.

And Minho was right, they were lucky no one from the staff found out about it. They would’ve been kicked out of the competition right there and then.

“Why did you do that?” Jeongin asks and for some reason Chan can’t bring himself up to lie to him.

Maybe is the way he asked the question, as if he had just found out the person he looked up to the most was an imposter; or maybe it was the way he was looking at him, confused and concerned. But he said the only honest thing he could say without throwing Han and his feelings under the bus.

“I was worried about y/n.”

“What does y/n has to do with any of this?” Hyunjin asks. His jaw is tensed and his hands becoming fists don’t go unnoticed by Chan.

The same way it doesn’t go unnoticed how Han takes a small step closer to Hyunjin, almost as if putting himself in between the guy and Chan. No one else notices this, but Chan does, and nor for the first time this day he feels like the biggest idiot on earth.

“I was just being an idiot. There is something I should’ve done a long time ago,” he says, too exhausted to make something up. “Something concerning her, and Han called me out on it and I got pissed because he was right and I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“Are you in love with her?”

Han can’t believe what Felix just asked. Felix who is looking from Chan to Hyunjin and back. The last one waiting expectant for and answer.

Han’s eyes are fixed on Chan. Waiting for the answer. Could it be possible? Could he had miss read Chan’s loved for y/n as something brotherly when in reality it was something… else? Could Chan be in love with y/n?

“I am not,” he finally says and it feels like the whole room is breathing again. “But I have done stupid shit I have to take care of, and Han knew that and he called me out and I was just... angry.”

“Well, whatever that was you got to take care of it,” Minho says looking less angry but still annoyed. “And you two have to fix this shit going on between you. We cannot afford going through something like this again.”

“Yeah, I understand,” Chan says and for the first time he looks at Han whom only nods.

“I think we shouldn’t tell y/n anything that just happened. She has already dealt with a lot of our bullshit,” Han says looking at everyone in the room, his eyes staying in Hyunjin’s a little longer. “We will deal with this ourselves.”

—Waiting On You—

SKZ+reader - College SKZ smau: crack, angst, steamy, mature.

Chapter 28. Testing my patience

Warnings: Swearing

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a/n: Hello!!! I hope you are having a great start of your week😌 I hope you all enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think! As always, thank you so much for reading. Stay safe and healthy!!

Disclaimer: This is my first time writing any type of smau so please let me know what you think and any suggestions you have! If you are interested in reading you will find the links of the chapters in the master list (they will be appearing as I drop them and will update at least once a week).

-Let me Know if you wanna be added to the tag list. If your name is in bold is because for some reason I can’t tag you.-

Tag List✨: @mosquitiddies @hey-i-really-miss-you @freckledquokka @pikapikapikaachuu @gold-dragon-slayer @xlxuxnxa @a-katsukitty @97lovestay @soobin-chois @sai-kida134 @ninjaleeknow @joti17 @yellowroseskolchek @brit97 @fluffyywoo @hibuki-chan @melancholyspirits

[yutaroo]

My Dear Sunflower - Chapter 1

Pairing: changbin x F!reader

genre: fluff, angst?

warnings: mentions of death, grieving, anxiety, mentions of car accidents, mention of funerals/graveyards etc.

chapters: 3 to 4?

summary: You have been in a happy relationship for 5 months with your amazing boyfriend. Everything has been going great, but now your boyfriend wants to meet up with your parents, your dead parents…

word count:

a/n: hi! this is my very first story on here, this idea just randomly popped into my head a couple weeks ago and i thought that i could give it a shot and try to see if i can write something around it. I hope it’s okay and that it makes sense? Also my first language is not english so i apologize for any mistakes i may make.

disclaimer: This story is pure fiction! and it does not in any way describe how the members are in real life!!

Today you were meeting up with your boyfriend and his friends at their apartment. It’s been quite a while since you met up with each other, since you have been caught up in your finals for uni these past few weeks. But you finally finished your last exam last week and luckily passed all of them. Meaning it’s time for some well deserved rest and quality time with your boyfriend. 

You were in the process of getting ready when your phone started ringing. “y/nnn the guys were wondering at what time you were coming over?” Changbin’s voice rang through your speaker.

“Hello to you too Changbin-ah, actually I was just about to leave when you called” you said while putting on your shoes.

“Great! i’ll see you then!” he said ending the call.

“Yea.. Bye to you too” You smiled to yourself while walking down the stairs. Once you get downstairs you quickly put on your coat, and remember to lock the door on your way out. The last thing you would want is to return home with some stranger chilling on your living room couch. 

The drive there is pretty boring and uneventful. When you finally arrive at your boyfriends apartment one go his friends opens the door. “Oh, y/n! How did your finals go?” 

“Felix! Hi! They went good! I passed all of them so I’m glad i get to spend some time with Changbin and you guys!” you respond.

“Ah i’m glad to hear that! It’s been so long since we last saw you! We really missed having you around” Felix says while letting you inside.

“I know, I’m sorry I haven’t been around that much it’s just been very hectic for me with exams and all my assignments. But I’m done now so I will be over a lot more!!” You exclaim as you give Felix your coat to hang up.

“Thank god for that! Your boyfriend has been rather whiny about not being able to see you. I think Minho would have glued his mouth shut” He laughs walking you to the living room.

“Speaking of Changbin.. Where is-” “Y/N! You're here!” A rather cheerful Changbin yells out while running up to you and engulfing you in a hug. 

“And we should thank god for that, I swear if I had to hear one more ‘I miss y/n’ or ‘I can’t wait to see y/n’ I would have considered moving out.” “Don’t be so dramatic! Can I not miss my own girlfriend after not seeing her for a month?” “Yes you can but not every 5 minutes of the day Changbin! You know you could have just driven for 15 minutes and went to visit her if you missed her so bad?” Minho’s voice yells out from the kitchen. “Yes but-” Changbin was cut off by Chan. 

“y/n! Good to see you again, how did your finals go? Did you manage to finish all your assignments?” “My finals went great! I barely managed to finish all my assignment but I did! And thankfully I passed all my classes!” You explain while taking a seat on the couch, Changbin following you swiftly and sitting down next to you “I missed you” he says while placing a kiss on your cheek “I know, I missed you too binnie” I say while smiling at him “Yea, yea we all missed y/n can we watch the movie now?” jisungs voice rings out from across the room “Jisung I swear to-” “Yes we can! What are we watching anyway?” you cut off Changbin “We should watch Deadpool!” said Seungmin.

The movie was halfway done when suddenly Changbin poked your cheek “Hey” “Y/N” “Babe” “Y/nnnn” “Lov-” “Changbin! oh my god what? I’m trying to watch the movie!” You finally give in to him “But I really missed you” He said while pouting at you “Can we not ditch the boys?” “Changbin we can’t ditch your friend they literally live here” you say while laughing “We can go to my room instead” “I really want to finish watching the movie tho” You looked up at him “Hmmpf fine” he playfully rolled his eyes at you “We can spend time together later” you say while resting your head on his shoulder. He looks down at you while smiling “Promise?” “Promise”

After the movie ended you go to Changbin’s room to spend some time with him just like you promised earlier. You were just hanging out in his room listening to music and catching up with each other when suddenly Changbin brought up the topic of your parents. “You know I was wondering since you met my parents already, maybe it’s time I should meet yours as well?” “Changbin-ah, I-” “I know you don’t really talk about them to me but i really would love to meet them!” he cuts you off “I know you want to, it’s just not that easy” you explain to him`. It’s not that you don’t want him to meet them or are ashamed to, well actually scratch that you are ashamed. Because how are you supposed to tell your boyfriend your parents are dead and it’s your fault they are? 

“You know you can always talk to me about everything right?” he says while looking at you “I know I can, it’s just complicated” you try to clarify “Don't you trust me?” “What no that’s not it! Can we just not talk about this right now please?” “No I think we should talk about it y/n, we’ve been together for almost 6 months and I don't even know your parents names! every time i bring it up you wave it off as if I just asked you some million dollar question. I really don't understand why you haven’t even told me anything about them at all! It’s almost like your ashamed of me” You can tell he’s frustrated and honestly you can't blame him, he’s always been so sweet and patient about the whole thing and there’s a part of you that really wants to tell him but you just cant find a way to bring it up. But the other part is just really scared and insecure about how to bring it up or how he will react to it, I mean It’s not everyday your significant other tells you ‘hey uhm, fun story my parents are dead and it’s all my fault’

“Binnie I’m not ashamed of you! That’s not it! You know how much you mean to me, and how much I trust you. It’s just not that easy and I know you really want to meet them, I guess I’m just scared for your reaction” Great y/n now he’s probably even more confused, god why cant you just tell him! It’s only Changbin! “No wait, I’m sorry for always bringing it up. If you don't want to talk about it right now that's okay, I just need you to know I will always be here if you do want to talk” He says while taking a hold of your hands, and it’s in that moment you realize how important it is to finally open up about everything. Just not here, you look him in the eyes and smile softly at him “I’ll take you to meet them”

[wbearv]

A different day off - b.c (f, sg)

Word count: 2.2K

Summary: Chan likes to spend his day off doing nothing at all, but when he receives a call that you’re sick? well, screw his day off.

a/n: something more fluffy coming to ya! I didn’t really proofread this at all so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes! I hope you like this <3.

masterlist

As the very busy person Chan is (really, he should just sleep a little bit more), he usually spends his days off laying in bed doing nothing. Those days when he can enjoy the peace and quiet of his room without having to worry about anything work related are rare, but he cherishes them to the max.

The sound of his phone ringing startled him since he made sure to tell everyone the day before not to call him unless someone was dying. Someone better be dying for him to have to move from his very much comfortable position.

The screen was lit and your picture came up next to your name.

“y/n,” he sighed. “It’s my day off.”

“Hey Chan, I’m Seungmin, I’m sorry to call you but,” your flatmate said, stopping while you half cried half sniffed in the back because you couldn’t reach the plushie that just fell to the floor. “y/n is pretty sick, and I’m supposed to leave to catch my flight in twenty minutes, could you tell Minho and ask him to take care of her while I’m gone? I tried to call him but he’s not picking up.”

“Minho is out practicing for next week-” the line went silent for a second just for Chan to speak again “you know what? Forget Minho, I’ll go myself. Be there in 10”

“Thank-” Chan hung up while the sound of keys resonated in the background. Seungmin left the phone on the table and turned to look at you, laying on the couch like a whining soul.

And that was how, after stopping by the pharmacy to pick up cold medicine Chan arrived at your apartment a few minutes later. When your flatmate opened the door, he quickly entered the room and went straight to the sofa where you were half lying half sitting. You looked really pale, there were dark rings underneath your eyes and your nose was really red and puffy from all that sniffing and paper tissues. When you turned to the door, expecting your brother, you were really taken aback by him.

“Chan?” The smile that grew on your face immediately once you saw him is interrupted by a nasty coughing fit, which you direct away from him and into the cushion underneath your head.

He rushed to sit next to you, rubbing your back while you let all that coughing out. “Easy”

“Well, I have to leave now or I’ll miss my flight. Keep me updated and take good care of her! see you in two days, don’t die on me” and with that, he closed the door and left, leaving the whole apartment silent.

While you closed your eyes and let your head fall back into the pillow, Chan explored the apartment with his eyes, taking note of the mess around you. Tissues are strewn about and there were empty cough drop wrappers littered across the coffee table. He noticed the cute pics from last summer’s camping trip where you drunkenly told him you liked him but completely forgot about it in the morning, so he never brought it up again. There were a few pics of you and Seungmin from where you first came to this apartment, another one with Minho and your parents… but one caught his eye. You both were smiling and had ice cream stains all over your face while Chan had his arm around your neck, and you were looking at each other with fondness.

He unwillingly smiled and let his head remember those moments you’re your coughing snaped his attention back to you. Chan frowned, and got up to pick up the medicine from the plastic bag he brought.

He grabbed a spoon from the drawer and sat back next to you “I brought medicine.”

You smiled grateful with your eyes still closed, feeling a shiver run through your body, feeling weaker as time progressed “You’re an angel, Channie.”

Chan tried to ignore the rush in his chest from hearing your voice say that nickname that you only use on very special occasions “Yeah, well, you owe me one, y/n.”

You’re still smiling, but your expression showed just how weak you were at the moment, making him more worried.

“Take this” he said taking a spoon full of medicine and approaching it to your face “open up.”

You obliged and swallowed the medicine, your throat hurting and not being able to swallow correctly. Suddenly, you shivered and frowned your brows.

“You have fever” Chan said picking up the thermometer from the cabinet next to you.

“No I don’t” you said sitting up a little bit to take a sip of the tea Seungmin made before leaving “I might be sick but I haven’t had a fever in ages, I doubt it. I just have to get up and freshen up a little bit and then I’ll be f-”

You were cut by Chan, who walked straight to you with a very serious expression on his face and a thermometer on his hand. He put his hand on your shoulder and pushed you down on the couch again, making you sigh in surprise.

“No, you’ll get your temperature checked and then you’ll lay down and sleep while I prepare you some soup so you can eat” he said with an authoritarian tone.

“But-” when you opened your mouth to complain, he took advantage of it and put the thermometer inside your mouth.

“But nothing. Close” Chan said looking straight into your eyes.

You closed your mouth and when he placed one of his hands in your neck to keep your head up, using the other one to check your forehead’s temperature, you felt how your cheeks got redder and redder by the second.

The thermometer’s sound was the only thing that could be heard in that moment, appear from your labored breathing. Chan took it out of your mouth with his hand, leaving one still around the nape of your neck.

“Jesus Christ y/n you’re burning” he said looking at the numbers in the screen “even your face is getting so red” you touched your cheeks and looked at him again. “come on, you have to rest.”

He grabbed your arm and helped you get up from the couch, placing his hand on your waist to help you balance and carrying you to your bed. Feeling the hot skin tightly against yours, you tried to convince yourself that the fever was the one to blame for your skin feeling like it was on fire.

When you were already lying down on your bed and covered with your blanket, you sighed in content.

“There.” Chan standed back. “Better?”

You looked at him with pure affection with your puffy eyes and smiled softly. “Yeah, it’s perfect.”

Chan smiled nervously and hurried back to the kitchen “I’ll make you some soup now, rest while it cooks.”

When he made his way back into your room with a freshly cooked bowl of soup, he found you sound asleep and smiled fondly. Chan placed the bowl in the table next to your bed and bowed down to kiss your temple, then turned the lights off and made his way out of the room.

But then he heard your voice and froze.

“Chan?” she whispered with a soft cough “can you lay down with me?”

He straightened up in surprise, turning around to face you. Even though it was dark, your face was slightly visible thanks to the dim light coming from outside of the room. And when you smiled at him shyly, he swore his heart skipped a bit

“Um,” he murmured nervously.

“Just lay with me? Please?”

The way you looked at him with your eyes was enough to make him leave any intention of refusing “Okay.” He sighed.

He took off his sneakers and, when you opened the blanket for him to get inside, he gently laid down, careful not to crush you or make you uncomfortable in any way.

You didn’t fall asleep, but enjoyed the silence and how Chan’s body felt next to you. A little while later you spoke softly “Hey” you said, your hand brushing his under the blanket “Thanks for coming over. I really needed this.”

Before he could stop himself, he placed his hand on her cheek, letting his thumb gently caress her skin.

“Of course,” Chan says softly. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

You didn’t know if the fever was the one talking or you just let your filter slip because of your vulnerable state, but when the words left your mouth, you didn’t stop them “I really really like you Chan, I wish you could see me as something else than your best friend’s younger sister.” And before he had the chance of replying, you were sound asleep.

You didn’t notice it though, but for a solid hour, Chan couldn’t sleep, not one bit. Not after what you just so wholesomely honest said.

Just a couple hours later, you opened your eyes, blinking a few times before finding Chan peacefully asleep next to you.

You’re so close to him, close enough to appreciate how his honey skin glows with the faint rays of sun that come through the door and how his chest rises and lowers slowly with every breath he takes. You can also see how tight his arms are now that you can take a closer look. You supress the urgent need to caress his arm while you sigh, your head pounding, less than what it did a few hours ago but still hurting pretty bad.

You looked at Chan again, feeling really grateful for him. He actually came here today, and on his day off of all days. He took care of her and made her soup – even though it was long forgotten next to them.

A stray lock of his hair fell into his eyes when he slightly moved his head. Gently, without thinking, you reached across and slowly moved it to the side while admiring his face in the process. Chan stirred slightly, and his eyes fluttered open. You opened your eyes as wide as you were able and felt a sudden urge to pull your hand away as fast as possible. But when he smiled at you, your hand didn’t move one bit.

“Hey,” He whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“I am really feeling better” you smiled and closed your eyes to slightly change your position, your hand landing next to his leg. Chan felt nervous all out of sudden and, when his phone alarm boozed off, he got up and grabbed it.

“Wow, it’s gotten late. I should probably head out.”

But before he is able to leave, you grab his arm.

“Wait, um.” You nervously sat up a little “Do you wanna— can you maybe—” You sighed slightly and looked at him straight into his eyes. “Do you wanna stay?”

“I-” Chan opened his mouth “I have practice tomorrow and-”

“I know, I just, I really don’t want to be alone right now.” You cut him off.

He looks at you with a conflicted expression.

You’re about to tell him never mind— that it’s okay, and he’s right, he should leave before it gets any later— but then a slow smile appears on his face.

“I guess Seungmin won’t mind that I grab one of his pyjamas”.

A few hours and two bowls of soup later, you’re both ready to go to bed. Your fever went up a bit and you were feeling kind of dizzy, so you were avoiding getting up from the sofa.

Chan got closer to you and grabbed your hand to help you get up, but you instead made him sit again, very close to you this time.

You looked at him, feeling dizzy at how awesome he was. You must have stared for quite a while, because Chan looked at you worried.

“What?” he said, slowly caressing the arm that was outside of the blanket.

You locked eyes with him and, without thinking, you moved your head forward and kissed him.

Chan was surprised at first, but after a few seconds he returned the kiss with just as much enthusiasm. He intertwined his fingers with your hair and pulled you closer into the kiss – if that was humanly possible.

It ends too soon, though, when after just a few moments Chan pulls away.

“y/n” Chan sits straight and looks at you “You don’t mean this, you’re just sick.”

You look at him with your eyes filled with love and affection and place your hand on his cheek. “Chan, I absolutely mean this, believe me” and you got closer to him again, only a few centimetres between your mouth and his.

“Why do you only confess to me while you’re drunk or have a fever, y/n?” he said, looking at you with affection.

“Wait, what?” you said confused. You did not recall confessing to him apart from just a few seconds ago.

He smiled at your confused expression and lifter your chin, so you looked at him again “Nothing, doesn’t matter” and he closed the space separating you again.

And maybe the following morning Chan wakes up with a sore throat and a somewhat stuffy nose, but he doesn’t really care. What are days off for if it is not for enjoying them? You just have to learn how to accept the consequences.

[dreamescapeswriting]

[20:23] ~ Bang Chan [M]

I don’t own the gif, Credit to gif owner

Words: 910 

A/N: It’s Chan hard hours in this house, I’m sorry. He makes me the biggest baby for him, I wanna hug him but at the same time I want him to fuck me so hard I can’t walk. Alright. Bye.

"You like this huh? Me fucking into you when you know someone could walk in at any moment?" You whimpered as Chan's fingers began rubbing your clit as he fucked up into you. You'd only gone to the JYP building to take him some lunch but he ended up taking you on his lap and fucking you right under your skirt. If anyone was to walk in it would just look as though you were sitting on his lap while he worked but his dick was buried deep inside of you. 

"F-Feels good!" You cried out hands gripping onto the leather arms of his desk chair as his other hand, held you in place so he could thrust up into you at an unruly pace.

"Yeah? Does my little girl like this? Being fucked in public?" His hand moved from your clit to your neck and he choked you just enough to make you gasp for air just the way you liked it. 

"Oh fuck I can feel you clenching around my cock, you really love this don't you baby?" Your back arched and you fell forward gripping onto the desk so he could continue to fuck into you, hitting you deeper than before. 

"Close." You cried out loudly but there was a knock at the door, he grabbed your chest and yanked you backwards straightening your skirt to make you look like you were just sitting there. 

"Keep quiet baby...Come in!" The door opened and Changbin walked in with Han behind him, you stared at the screen that Chan had been working on before he started fucking you and he began talking to the guys like normal. 

"We came by to see how the track was coming along." Jisung said as he looked at you and then to the screen, he knew something was happening but he didn't know what. What they didn't see was Chan bucking up his hips to thrust into you while you slowly ground down your hips so he could hit your hilt, you bit down on your lip to muffle a moan and Changbin looked at you. 

"You alright?" You nodded in silence and he laughed at you going back to the track and hitting play on the keyboard. Chan's hand gripped onto your hips to hold you in place while he bucked up so fast and smooth no one would even tell, but you could. You could tell because the feeling of having the boys in the room was bringing you closer to your release with each small thrust. 

"Hyunjin said he and Felix are cooking tonight? Y/n are you coming?" Your eyes widened as the words left Jisung's mouth, you hadn't been paying attention, you were so close to your release you were doing anything to fight it off. But it was too much,

"Yes! Yes, I'm coming, I-I'm coming!" You yelled, the boys figured you were just being enthusiastic about the food but your orgasm had just hit you like a truck and you were shaking around Chan as you came around his cock but he continued to thrust into you. He wanted to grunt out as he felt you throbbing around his length but he managed to hold it all in.

"Yeah, we'll be there. She's just hungry." He held you down on his lap knowing you were trying to get off, the over stimulation was too much since he was continuing to buck into you, he didn’t care that you’d just cum you were going to do it again so he could enjoy it this time. Once the door was shut he pulled you back by your neck and held you in place so your ear was right against his lips. 

"You just came in front of them you dirty little slut, didn't even ask me for permission." You whimpered trying to apologize but he didn't want to hear it,

"You're gonna cum again, all over my cock and you're gonna scream out my name so they know what we're doing if they don't already." You clenched again and he smirked pulling on your neck tighter before he started marking you up, one of his favourite things to do was show people who you belonged to. 

"Is that what you want? I can feel you clenching, you love the idea of them knowing don't you." He chuckled thrusting up roughly into you, giving you no time to come down from your first high, everything was on fire. 

"You liked cumming right before their eyes." Your voice trembled as you tried to tell him you were close again, 

"I can feel you getting close again, do you want to cum?" You nodded desperate to get a proper release this time rather than the interrupted one you had just experienced,

"Please Chan, I-I need it." You begged and he smirked releasing your neck and drawing his hand down to your clit, circling it while he sucked on your neck. 

"Cum for me princess." He whispered in your ear, your whole body trembled and you began shaking around him as your orgasm washed over you sending a warm feeling throughout your body. 

"Fuck I'm coming Chan!" Your hands gripped onto the chair, your toes curled and you continued shaking around him as he released into you grunting out your name as he did so. 

"Shit baby," He whispered in your ear as he finally came down and looked at you, he pushed the hair away from your neck and kissed it softly where he'd been marking you up.

"So...Dinner?" You giggled getting off his cock but he groaned out as you did so, pushing his fingers into you and growling at you. 

"You keep every job inside of you all night and then you won't get punished for cumming without permission." He whispered pulling your panties back to cover your pussy before patting your clit over the fabric making you moan. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was terrible and I’m sorry, Chan hours be hitting me hard lately. 

@snowy-meowl​ @writingdreamsnottragedies​ @jooniesdarlingdimples​

[cherryeol04]

Boyfriend (M)

Pairings : Changbin x Reader Genre: Smut, funny, romance, cute Word Count: 2.4K Warnings: This story contains smut. If you are not comfortable with it, please skip!

The one thing Y/N is grateful for, is the fact that on Tuesdays, she doesn't have classes. That meant she was free to sleep in as long as she wanted, do whatever she felt like and she didn't have to worry about getting up and going somewhere. Unless she wanted to go out shopping with a friend, then that was a different story. But for the most part Y/N spent her days off in her cozy little apartment, just enjoying herself. Sometimes she would do a little cleaning, after all she tended to have her boyfriend over often and he wasn't the best at cleaning up behind himself. But bless his heart, he tried. Changbin was a terror normally, walking around the place like he owned it. Y/N was actually surprised that there wasn't a bigger mess when she got up that morning. All of his music producing equipment had been packed up and sat neatly in the small corner of the bedroom that Y/N had deemed his area.

He had complained, saying he should have a bigger spot. But she had countered that he hadn't moved in with her and wasn't helping to pay the bills. Once he did that, he could have as big an area that he wanted. It effectively shut him up because despite the fact they had been dating for over seven months now, moving in was a step that neither one of them was ready to make. It was hard to spend time with each other usually. If Y/N wasn't busy with classes and assignments, then it was Changbin who was locked up in a studio at the university with his friends and co-workers Jisung and Chan - working on their latest track for classes or to upload on Soundcloud. Changbin usually wouldn't leave the studio until the early hours of the morning, to sleep for maybe an hour or two before getting back up and heading to class. It was difficult for them to see each other, but they tried. 

Though not living together, they did leave things over at each other's places, an excuse they used to be over at odd hours of the day. Like yesterday when Y/N really needed a pair of shoes that would match her cute sundress, she had to drive all the way over to Changbin's apartment to get them. It was worth it because she saw his inability to care for himself and ended up making him dinner for that night and lunch for the next day, all neatly stacked in containers and left in the fridge with a sweet note waiting for him on the counter. It was the small things that made this relationship worth it. Because even if she didn't see him as much as she wanted, finding the sweet notes or receiving the crazy sleep deprived texts always put a smile on her face and reminded her how much she loved him.

Of course, those things didn't negate the fact that she was still a woman and she had needs. Strong urges and desires that struck at the most inopportune time. Recently she had been fighting a bout of horniness that always hit her right in the middle of her afternoon class and by the time she got home, it had left, leaving her very frustrated and unsatisfied. She had a plan, however, to fix that. Since it was her day off, she might as well spend it getting off to the thoughts of her boyfriend. A few good orgasms, a hot shower and Netflix sounded like the perfect way to spend her afternoon.

After making sure the apartment was in better condition than it had been, she started her little robot vacuum and made her way back to her bedroom. Stripping out of her pajamas, she situated herself on her bed and reached over to her nightstand, opening the bottom drawer. She was greeted with the sight of the many different sex toys she owned. A few dildos, but most were vibrators of different size, strengths and looks to them. She had one that mimicked the look of a real dick, but the rest were mostly pink and purple, some with bulbous mushroom heads. For the most part they were smooth and rounded, perfect for an easy glide inside, though she could never deny how much she loved the feeling of a head spreading her hole wide. She took a moment to think, eyeing each toy before she grabbed one of the smaller vibrators, purple and made of silicon. It almost mimicked the look of rubber and she loved it's squishy texture.  

Grabbing the lube, she closed the draw and laid the items out next her as she made herself comfortable. Parting her legs lightly, she slowly ran her hands over her thighs, just feeling herself for a moment - enjoying the pleasure brought to her. Working herself up was what she wanted to do as she grazed her fingers over every inch of skin she could reach, thighs trembling as she occasionally teased her clit. She wanted to take it slow, build it up. After all, she had all day to herself. 

———

Changbin hadn’t planned to go over to Y/N’s place. But when he got the email stating his class was cancelled for the day, he decided that maybe he could get in some early work at the studio and then spend the evening with his girlfriend. In his mind, it was a great plan, except for the fact that he had left his equipment at Y/N’s place. It’s not that he minded going over there, it was just that he couldn’t remember if she had classes today or not and he really wanted it to be a surprise that he was coming over. 

He could just simply not work and spend time with her now, but he knew that Jisung and Chan were at the studio already working, and he really wanted to go and help. Maybe he could just sneak in and sneak out? Or if anything he could just say he needed his things for after class. With excuse in mind, Changbin made his way to his girlfriend’s apartment, only a short 5 minute drive from the school. 

He easily let himself in with the key he had and when he didn’t see Y/N in the living room or the kitchen when he passed by, he figured that she probably wasn’t home. Which was great news for him. Walking to the bedroom, he had just pushed open the door when a moan filtered through his ears and he froze in his tracks. His eyes landed on the bed, watching as his girlfriend played with herself. Her hand twisted, moving as she thrusted a toy in and out of herself, vibrations growing louder before fading with each thrust. The fingers of her other hand worked over her clit shamelessly, pulling louder moans and sighs of pleasure. 

“F-fuck, Changbin.”

Changbin’s dick twitched at the sound of his name and he bit down on his bottom lip to suppress a moan that wanted to escape. 

“Deeper. Harder.” Y/N’s hand did its best to fulfill her wishes but even Changbin noticed it just wasn’t delivering the power she wanted. 

“Well, well, well. Isn’t this such a lovely surprise.” Changbin called out, voice conveying a sense of confidence he didn’t think he could muster with the way his heart was pounding rapidly in his chest. The noise surprised Y/N and she jerked, all movements stopping as she stared at her boyfriend with a guilt express. 

“What are you doing here?” She whispered, voice slightly horse from the loud whining and moan she had been doing moments before. 

“Well I came to get my mixing equipment but instead I found a sexy little minx on the bed, all spread out and playing with herself.” He said, watching as she closed her legs around her arm, trying to hide herself from his hungry gaze. Not that he hadn’t seen her like this before. They’ve had sex plenty of times before. This was just the first time Changbin had caught her playing with herself. 

“I-I-“

“Want some help?” 

Y/N nodded her head slowly, carefully pulling out the vibrator from within her and turning it off. She was thinking that if Changbin was offering help, he would fuck her. She didn't expect him to walk over and take the toy from her grasp and turn it back on as he knelt on the edge of the bed. His eyes raked over her naked body, taking in each and every curve - admiring how hard and beautiful her nipples were. Chuckling to himself, he moved closer, sitting between her legs and making himself comfortable. Y/N shivered at the new position and once again tried to close her legs and hide herself from view, but Changbin's hands reached out quickly, pushing her thighs apart once more. 

"Don't do that." he said lightly, voice barely above a whisper, even though there was no reason to be quiet. He stared into her eyes, gaze soft as he tried to convey reassurance and acceptance to her. It seemed to work as she slowly relaxed and let her legs fall open, putting herself on full display for the other. Licking his lips, Changbin grinned as he leaned forward, fingers twisting the top of the vibrator to turn it on the lowest setting. Reaching down, he carefully brushed the tip of the toy against her clit, chuckling as she jerked at the sudden touch to the sensitive nub. 

"Oh fuck." she panted softly, her back arching slightly. Her hips jerked as her abdomen tightened and she tried to pull away from the touch, but the toy followed. "Changbin." she whimpered softly.  Changbin chuckled as he moved the toy, rubbing it against her while watching the way her body spasmed against his touch. 

"You're so beautiful baby, do you like this?" he asked. She nodded her head quickly, soft whimpers leaving her as he moved the toy down further to press against her opening. The tip slipped in and vibrated against her sensitive walls and she keened for more - for Changbin to go deeper and harder. He didn't though. Instead, he pulled the toy out and brought it back up and teased her clit once more. A loud cry left her quickly and she jerked and trembled under his touch, chest rising and falling with quick breaths. "I want you to cum for me." he whispered. "Can you do that?" Y/N nodded her head, ready to cum for the other. She had been teasing herself relentless for who knows how long and she had been getting close to the edge when Changbin walked in.

"Please." she begged almost pathetically, head falling back as she let the pleasure wash over her body - back and hips arching to get more of the pleasure from Changbin. The toy slipped down once more and slipped into her, a deep gasp leaving her as it was turned up in volume and the vibrations increased. Changbin pushed the toy in deeply and Y/N cried out, feeling the vibrations through her core as he shallowly thrusted the toy in and out. "Chang-" Her plea was cut off as Changbin's hot, wet tongue ran over her clit and she spasmed at it. "Oh fuck yes." she cried out and whimpered. Reaching down, she ran her fingers through his hair once before tangling them into the soft strands. Her hips jerked down, rocking down against his mouth and hand. He thrusted the toy in harder, angling it upwards as it stroked her walls - grazing against her g-spot every now and then to heighten the pleasure. His mouth worked over her clit, sucking and licking on it hungrily as his noisy slurps filled the room.

Y/N was tense under him, toes curling as the pleasure mounted inside her. She could feel it, the pressure getting ready to be released and she was so ready for it. "Changbin." she breathed out. "I'm going to cum." she gasped out. It was the only warning she could give as the pleasure reached its peak too quickly. She cried out as the tension released and her body jerked, hole clenching around the toy that was still moving inside her. "Oh fuck! Fuck!" she cried out, panting heavily as she rode out the waves of her orgasm. As she slowly calmed down, Changbin slowly turned down the vibrations of the toy, letting her get used to each level before turning it off slowly and slipping it out. Pulling back from her, he smirked, licking his lips clean of the sweet juices he had been lapping at. Tossing the toy onto the bed, he leaned over and ran a hand gently over her stomach, dragging it up and over each breast, teasing her nipples light with a smile. 

Whining, Y/N smacked at his hand lightly, but didn't push him away as he went back to rubbing his hand over her body. Leaning down, Changbin pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, followed by a few more kisses to her neck and one to her forehead. "You did so good baby," he whispered. "How do you feel?"

"Amazing." she whispered and looked up at him with a wide smile, eyes sparkling with the remnants of pleasure and love and adoration. "Thank you baby." she whispered. Changbin chuckled and gave her another kiss before sitting back on his heels.

"You're welcome." Shifting, he climbed off the bed and grabbed the covers, pulling them up and over her body, tucking her in. "Take a nap babe."

"What about you?" she asked, frowning as she looked down at the obvious boner he was sprouting, before looking back up at him.

"I'll be fine. I need to go and do some work." he told her and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple before pressing his face against the top of her head gently. "Get some sleep okay? I'll see you later tonight. We can play then." he assured her as he pulled back and stared down at her.

"Promise?" 

"Promise." 

She wasn't happy, but she accepted it and after pulling Changbin down for one more kiss, she let him go and curled up on her side. She watched as he moved and grabbed his things, blew her a kiss and left the room. She could hear his footsteps echo lightly as he walked down the hall and eventually the door opened and closed as he left. Alone once more, she let her eyes close, ready to nap with the knowing promise that she could return the favor to him later. And she honestly, couldn't wait.

Tags: @runningonkpop @clandestine-lixie @jisungsjheekies @luminouskalopsia​ @straysrachaa​ @mrbangchannie​ (to be added, go here)

[multifandomfix]

Imagine Geralt stopping just to watch you because he’s so enamored with you.

As you stooped to tie up the knot on your boot that had come loose, you didn’t expect to have Geralt stop with you. You felt his eyes on you and as you finished tightening the lace you caught him staring. "What," you asked. "Something wrong?"

Geralt only shook his head and you wound up shrugging it off.

Later, the bag you carried on your shoulder started to weigh on you. You were some distance ahead of Geralt at this point, but he caught up quickly and to your surprise, he reached out to take the bag from you. You allowed him to and smiled softly, a little in awe of how attentive he seemed to be.

For @szk-only

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s 24 Feb 2025. Before I begin, I find it fascinating that there’s so little talk in the media or social media about how Trump and Musk are doing pretty standard corporate cutting. They’re treating government as though it were a corporation. Steve Jobs called a meeting of the .mac team and told them they should all be fired. Only about a week ago, a major trucker shut down because GM and Ford didn’t renew their hauling deals. Let’s assume all those jobs are at some point recovered: there’s still large disruptions in the lives of all those people and their families which the total number of jobs changed, saved, lost doesn’t state. More commentary about how the math works, right? Ends and means. Example is corporations would love to do more, in pretty much every way, but they need to focus on certain things because they need to maintain their productive capacity both now and into the uncertain future.

I need to get this out of me, so please stop distracting yourself as a warm up and feed the fucking kitty.

First, finally flipped over the puzzle piece and realized: we split Between rational and irrational, and then irrational splits between algebraic and transcendental, and all of this can be pictured using a Shard. The rationals are now obvious, and that has a huge benefit already because I can see that you can indeed focus rationals on a point which is actually a 1-0Segment because rationality is layered, with a grid at every layer, with grids relating across the visible.

Is it weird Panera plays good music? Al Green. Natalie Merchant.

This also clears up an issue with what we think of in the most casual terms as the limits of rationality: there is a limit to rationality, but that’s about where you are in which layer, and the gsProcess which connects those rationals, which are as simple as counting out on the Extents of a Shard. So that should be clear, I hope: rationals are the L-counts of both Extents. That explains why we became fixated on L-counts to begin with. Finally: the limit of rationality. Sounds cool.

So imagine you have one Extent at 419 and one Extent at 1. That’s a gsPrime: you can alternate the existences because both equal 1 in gsProcess terms. One way to do this is to treat 419 as an L-count, which means you take 418/2 + the szK. The szK is then 210, which of course H/D’s to 420. Another way to do this is to treat 419 as an area generated in gs, which means 21*20 and that 1 difference again. You can also see that 210 is SBE3+1 of 21, which is important to me because this way of seeing the generation of the reals, which requires this infinite focus ability at any point, anywhere, which is why we have existences. That is, when you see the count of 10 out along one or both Extents - meaning you can also see 20, and 30 with the Triangular, if you can figure that out - you’re seeing all the gsProcess within SBE3+1.

I’d like to mention that +1 can be subtle. As in, you’re selecting and reach for the End, which means you’re down to got this, need this, which is a 1+1 situation in important ways. That invokes e and other stuff. So here’s a candidate for that +1: what’s the fit? This came to me while I was analyzing how a potential fit requires altering other stuff to be that fit, and that kind of reshuffling is the finite character of gsConstruction, but it’s still associative in gsProcess. We get glimpses of how much shuffling goes on to process reality. This is what we as a species can get better at doing.

And of course, we went through the Hexagonal construction of 420, and to make clear it’s side agnostic, which becomes f&b and thus 18, not 9, and it’s 9 because that’s the treatment of gs as a Thing. That’s new. Where did that come from? Look at it: a gs in the middle of gs is the same counting as elsewhere, so there’s the inner Thing of the gs and the Boundary. So we could say the outer edges of the central gs are the 1 of 0-1-0? Yes.

Don’t forget algebraics are the manipulations we can trace which determine the Extents. It’s now pretty clear that transcendentals, the what’s else, are what? That hit a wall. What’s the wall? Take Pi. It’s a series that makes a quadrant as an approximation in gs count, drawn as we show, layer by layer by layer, and oh I get that: the hugeness, the vastness beyond vast which calculates is necessary for that same process to occur at every scale. Remember when we figured that out: the vastness is also the most highly focused. We started to think then of Pi as disappearing at any point you can name on the Boundary. That’s clearly true.

That again invokes the Mandelbrot set because that happens at any point, with all the cycles of 2 and on in the little bubbles. It also agrees with the concept in rationality and irrationality that there is a grid which collapses toward a layer which collapses to a layer. This also goes back to Halting because, for example, the layers of the infinite process are gsParallels, meaning the existence of the experiment becomes akin to the visibility of the experiment. That becomes the veil of death.

Yeah, if it came back no one would recognize it was the same, which is the same.

So the idea is that rather than try to divide the algebraics from the transcendentals, we look instead at the process which generates them in relation to rationals. A Shard explains it all. In fact, if you think of algebraics, you see how sparse they are in relation to all the values 1 and 0 can represent through all the pathways and permutations.

That’s pretty incredible math. Need a mental break. Extraordinary workout today. Brutalized my feet by straining them against cables with enough weight to hold me in place while I moved through every painful move I could imagine. Then did a simpler ride: 2 pulses a minute, but at higher resistance, up to 3. Totally opened up the movement of my legs into that forward extension I remember. Did the whole 30 minutes pulsing.

I made a note that says like going over a bump at varying speeds as a metaphor for the IL: that’s the speed of the bumps. We feel those bumps as radiation coming at us, always at us, but they make Boundaries over which the larger countings occur. These can be very complicated, but think of you, where you are, the entire world, bits of it, history, you name it, as ways of counting with Boundaries. And that’s why training can make you better at recognizing what to do.

Did we just say the IL is the way D3-4Space relates to D4-3Space like dimples on a golf ball? I think so. The count is SBE though, which counts over gs, so you’re saying that makes f1-3, which is also (D1-3//3-1). So the speed bumps are on the gsConstruction.

I need to stop for a while. This is a tiny bit of what’s been coming to me today. Up at 4AM. Totally entangled with you for hours.

I forgot to mention that this makes Euclid’s meter stick. And you can see the effect in the 1-0Segment connecting the Triangular of the Shard. It gets more complicated when you imagine a Shard with 4 surfaces. But it’s effective for these purposes because you can imagine better a ball pierced to the core by these Shards that cover the surface. It’s not that one arrangement covers but that there are arrangements which together construct. Again, there’s a reason why the alternating series for Pi needs the f1-3, why it’s *4, why it’s the IC model.

[jonathankatwhatever]

Continuing. The generation of transcendentals along an Extent is clear once you get past the initial statement that the Extent maps to the szK. This explains the Liouville proof that there are infinitely many more transcendentals ‘within’ any rational. Even saying that makes it obvious: you take a gsSheet as a map of Triangular or, more appropriately perhaps, Tri-Hex construction so the szK draws over the 1Space which relates to the 0Space within the gsSheet. Triangular over gs means we can make any size Extent, which we draw literally in Triangular, and thus into gs through D-structure’s Regularization and Composition functions. To be technical, both are gs, so gsRegularization and gsComposition. And to restate the obvious: gs stands for the process of (D3-4//4-3), meaning the gsSpace in which our D3-4 existences as Things occur, in which they persist, which is the same as saying they are entangled as Things with the tObjects generated within D3-4Space, again through the gsR&C. I like those together because Regularization refers mainly to the concept that there is an abstract ideal and that process of calculation across these ideals occurs, and these occur within the contextual limits imposed by the gsProcess which became the basic conditions of persistence, coherence, and consistency. Said that way, it’s much clearer because we can see that persistence, for example, is a clinical diagnosis, meaning it’s an observation of a behavior which occurs because gsProcess is conserved, because gsProcess is the parent of all conservation laws.

I probably need a new paragraph because that one filled up and got long.

Not even sure where to go now.

Take a gsSheet, think Triangular over gs, and you generate any sequence of 1’s and 0’s that can be imagined. I’d say that’s Cantorian uncountability: layers of 1’s and 0’s branching.

I need to take a break. Let this percolate.

These results are, given the extreme level of difficulty of the material, what they used to call stupendous. You are amazingly good at this. I’m glad I can kinda follow along. That imagery this morning of the Bip poles was the kind of thing I wish people could see.

[jonathankatwhatever]

Continuing. I’m trying to understand what 1 over e to the x minus 1 means. The e part is a value, so to a value minus 1, meaning it’s a form of n-1, and that’s then stuck into 1. Okay.

It’s now 27 Jan 2025, and I keep picking up a terribly negative vibe and it feels like negative energy sparked from you. I would normally say this is a reach but that would be from your negative energy, from your wanting bad to happen when and as you want something good. It’s involving, isn’t it? And the negativity is always there, especially when you see decades of hopes dashed and realize that’s what you want.

That was how I disengaged from the emotion of sport. It took a lot, being a guy in guy world, because it’s the easiest way to converse with guys, and it’s easy to switch out of when you talk to some guy who doesn’t like sports. I root for everyone to do well. I root for nice athletic plays. I rooted for the Lions because I know what that would have meant to that area, which has so long seen itself as losers. But the games are just games.

BTW, if I were reforming the game, I’d start by changing the concept of a head coach to encourage assistants to remain in a good situation. The Patriots sorta did this with McDaniels and Belichick, with the former getting paid better than usual. I think a material reason why the Lions lost is they knew this was their last year as a group, that the coaches were all going to be poached, and you never know what the next bunch will be like. If the league made sure OC’s and DC’s were paid more like HC’s then the jobs would sort better so people with HC qualities would emerge. Start giving the OC’s and DC’s records so they have W-L records people can remember.

Other than that, I think the game is hideous.

Anyway, it’s like the NBA. I would change the scoring. Add half points. Take away a half point from the 3 point shot, so it’s now 2.5 points out to a further distance. That pushes more of the game inside, where you have a higher likelihood of 2 points and a foul.

The ripple effects of negativity are all over. But then that has been a long standing topic because you stir hate because the ripples you make can’t act continuously at the level where negatives don’t exist. Was that clear? The level of continuity is above the individual level, above group level, so what forms across the szK, as what I have to call the gsReals because real numbers descend from the generation of gsReals (and thank heaven I finally was able to accept that because that has been killing me), cannot align as efficiently as possible.

Gosh, it’s odd to realize that we’ve been talking about this incredibly advanced gs concept for ages and I didn’t know. Nice also to realize I can remember the material. I hope this is a review session and not a pop quiz. I’m terrible at multiple choice before I know the field well enough to identify how the truth appears.

Oh, that’s what they were testing for in the Origin Storyline. Whether I could see what was emerging from the patterns they had identified, like a hearing test only with the perceptive field. So when I registered what appeared, when I could see it, they removed me from that place I knew as home. That’s a birth story, right? The essence of me sitting in a D4-3 with them checking the various implantations, assuming there were multiples - imagine vast numbers in a Twilight Zone pullback shot by Gregg Toland - and that is then sent into this what?

It was a lot of training and surviving stuff I imagined as a form of total war which could only be survived using the ideas of the patterns, that we could anticipate better, and thus could meet them with overwhelming force, and that would reduce our loss rate. This worked for a time, but the other side got better at hiding its capabilities, and we had to examine patterns at higher and higher levels. This caused a loss of detail, which could only be overcome by getting closer to the other side, by focusing from the higher levels of patterns to a specific location where we could get close enough to see what was happening nearer the 1Space to 0Space line. I remember being in a room with a sort of whiteboard discussing with my team how we could identify a place where the 1Space, which we referred to as our side, was entangled with their side, the 0Space, so we could learn why they do what they do, why they exist, why they generate harm, and most of all: why do they reduce visible awareness and where does it go?

That last is something which has largely been hidden from me since those visions. From the higher dimensional perspective, we could see there is a bifurcation and that the chains which we can’t see from up high must go somewhere else. Where do they go? That’s why the obsession with understanding ancient conceptions of hell and the afterlife. Why do they hurt each other thinking that is what we want? Why do they insist that truth visible on their side is objectively true? What do they not understand about themselves which makes them vulnerable to the chaotic idiocy we observe? That’s a big connection: I remember the idea in the GS7 room was to identify a place where chains construct and build up to question the shell in which they exist. As in, a dog can enjoy a sunset but it won’t write poems about how the repetition makes you feel both small and highly connected, though that may be what the dog feels in dog terms. That was from kids’ books, right? The Velveteen Rabbit literally says you make stuffed animals real in your head. Everything Dr. Seuss wrote was a fable, like Aesop, with a learning message.

I ran out of steam for a moment. Lost the thread.

So, I’m continuing the process of acceptance, and that yields a bifurcation, a K’ing where one side of the 1-0Segment midline axis is positive and one negative. I see a sine curve in which the negative is arranged around an axis but it’s not a true negative because it’s defining an axis, an szK, which occurs, which is gsReal and traceable as a real result, which sits above the 0, like behavior varies down to this point at the bottom. Maybe.

What’s your origin story? I’ve gone over how you appeared to me, how I was called into the High Council room with the disappearing table, and given more ‘resumes’, over my usual protestations that there was never anything worthy in there, anything which would advance GS7’s work, which as the name suggests is the generalized strategy for the complete Hexagon, and thus is the grid square which translates in and out of the complete Hexagon. Survival begets more work, which is good because the work is important.

I’ve described how I walked out of the meeting, flipped open the ‘folder’, saw you, and turned around to demand an answer to why I was unaware of you before. And they wouldn’t even present the same Council members in the view into the table’s edge, which really pissed me off, and I told them that. They told me I had no choice, which didn’t answer my questions, and it was awkward when you showed up until one of the team started to laugh because, to him, in his multi-dimensional existence, we looked the same. I remember asking what he meant - and he is a loose term, more specific than it and less general than they, meaning gendered but not simply - and honing the meaning to us being increasingly similar in the higher dimensions which resolved to the actual generated room, to the xyR, that being the construct in D4-3 which relates to the Storyline so I couldn’t see the similarity inside the simulation, but he could see us each forming.

His expertise is in pattern formation tendencies, and he has the most finely tuned differential engine for determining pattern similarities. He does that out of a factorial understanding, meaning there’s a generating function which says this form has this value here, and that value then fits into classifications. His ability to do that non-contextually is astounding. I could never remove the influencing parameters as well as he could, so he could see a purer truth and thus potential for impurity at a more abstract scale, one that was necessary to achieve sufficient objectivity. That was such a worry, that we were being influenced in some way. That led into betrayal analysis.

That seems in memory to have been a key factor: the recognition that learning about them would mean they would learn about us, and thus how would one pretend to be one of us, in the constructed realm, which reaches into the D4-3 existence of High Command itself, to enact betrayal at the 1 and 0 level of bifurcation. That work was a main focus until I had the strangest experience. I assume this was play-acted but it didn’t feel that way: I went to the other side and came back after discovering that it existed as what was then characterized as a reflection, and which is now more a communication or interaction with the Boundary. It felt extremely real in part because of the hysterical reaction by the voices in my head, who were literally screaming at me demanding to know what had happened. I’ve rarely experienced such genuine worry.

Play-acting doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. It’s how that was represented and expressed to me, which means the Thing of me and the response would be over the line from that Thing, within the gsPotential.

I go over and over this material because it develops the math, while suppressing it prevents the math. It is a natural consequence of the generation of D3-4Space, of 0Space, that there is a relationship between Things, and that this relationship mirrors the construction of Things.

I need to get a new chuck for my impact driver. I tried to put in a shelf this morning, and couldn’t find it. If it’s not in the garage, which I doubt, then I need a new one to use wood and drywall bits. I also had to clean up the entire litter area because the genie bag came loose. Had to clean it all out by hand, then clean the genie, the floor, etc.

[jonathankatwhatever]

How does inversion over CM1 work with Triangular? With Hexagonal? No clue.

That was all I could manage. It’s 7 Jan 2024. Having a nausea morning so there’s a chance I’m actually ill. Putting that aside, a sense of unease permeates like each word carries all the negative and positive potential at once. My instincts are to give in, curl up and lie there versus work until I find out if I need to lie down or not. So work it is.

My dad said most of the world’s work is done by people who aren’t feeling well. That’s the idea of work which seems to elude both individuals and this society, that work is meant to involve you. That explains a lot to me. I remember when no factory or warehouse was air conditioned. Many weren’t heated beyond the need to keep the water flowing. This is what bothers me: I can’t find a flow. The ideas arrive in chunks and it takes a lot of mental space to rearrange them as objects, and I think my brain is a bit tired from being stretched so much.

Anyway, what bothers me about ‘this’ is that for years I’ve read about inhumane working conditions which don’t strike me as particularly inhumane except that the workforce has change and their expectations have changed, and the interface between how Things have been run and how they can be run now and what that means for expectations is going to have friction, meaning the heat of conflict. That this becomes demonization is what bothers me: the poles don’t need to be drawn so far apart to address the issues. Except, and here’s that chunk rearranging again, the structures are so large they have limited ability to address these issues while they are addressing so many others, including running a business and running lives. That’s why Archimedes’ lever principle is so appealing, isn’t it? You imagine a lever which moves the world, which says you need to go here.

Then again, I took yesterday off from the gym - spent an hour and half moving stuff in and out of the storage unit instead - so I know some of this may be not just delayed onset muscle soreness across my overworked core but I also have been challenging my vestibular system with backward pulls using a cable cross, and there is definitely some motion in my field of vision. It’s to the right, where I noticed a hesitance or even resistance last session. Twisting into that space right up and back may have sparked this. So try the complementary movements on the other side. Remember: it’s like not expecting 0Space perfection in you (or me), so don’t think of this as mirroring the exact same movement but as finding the gsPairing which relates to that resistance and thus to the wobble effect now going on. As he splats face first into the screen, turning into characters and then pixels and then photons.

I love that the IL is about 3*10^8 m/s. That counts 0-8, meaning SBE3 from where ^0 = 1, which is a Minimal Context statement, I think. Don’t trust anything while my stomach is flipping. Think for second, then put some food in your mouth and see what happens. Okay. You know what that means: you take whatever it is that’s your base, that’s your Thingy, and you keep it around but reduce it to the abstraction of itself as 1. That wasn’t so bad, was it? My stomach disagrees.

So the IL is f&b from that abstraction to 1 up through what? It’s 10^0, so the reduction to abstraction is more obvious: that value of 3 at abstracted 1, then up through to 8 because that’s the count of 9, which is the 89. And the 19 reads as L19, which is CM100. So many signs.

The 10 is SBE3+1, so the count 0-8 is SBE3 of SB3+1. This is work we did years ago. Does it make more sense now? 8-9-10. Each 10 means more associative potential, meaning associative in szK terms so there’s orthogonal association in which fit determines. See quantum geometry, as an example of CR. See the idea of ‘solutions’ and ‘solution space’ for a higher level example.

What about the joke? Because 7 ate 9. The link is that 7 is complete Hexagonal, which means in dimensional non-rigorous terms that whatever is within that 7 is that 6, which relates the 12 13 14. So 8 is where we get multiple complete Hexes, same as within 7 we get multiple SBE2’s, meaning the potential is within that Boundary and is read on either side of that Boundary, internal and external.

Funny how my stomach bothers me less as I work more. The cat much prefers smoked to regular turkey. I tested him today by taking my time, and he started trying to climb the cabinet. That’s the desire I’m looking for. I love seeing him have the spark of life. I do miss having affection. He only receives and then on specific terms. He now accepts that I rub his belly deeply; it helps him poop.

Why would there by any meaning to the word ate and 8? I like the humor because it sparks these ideas. What is 9 in those terms? We did this many years ago. As I recall, the next level of abstraction is that which includes that which includes that which includes. This is where this connects to the Goldbach conjecture proof: must identify each inclusive completeness for the gsProcesses to occur. Counting isn’t just counting labels but counting structures along Extents.

I did not see that connection coming. Thanks. Oh, the cat did in fact poop so I will not be hearing from him for some hours. Selfish little bleep. He has his blanket on his table in front of the window on a frigid day with a howling wind and he pooped so all is contentment. If he could purr, he would. Maybe.

That truly bangs home the identification proof method. Go over it again. We have inclusion each Brick count, so a-one anna two, to quote my grandmothers’ favorite show, meaning completeness at the gs which maps to that szK count. I’m seeing this on a gs sheet, with the imputed szK lines over in 1Space and each of the szK gs are overlapping potential Bricks, vertical or horizontal. This means the CR process can be seen as eddies of these, and thus as holes because the Boundary of each CR is in the layers of gs sheets. Odd how that has resisted notation. I never even think of saying gsSheets, though that’s obvious because from Sheets we get regular squares of 0Spoce and grid squares of 1Space. The notation then allows the smoothing necessary at the scale at which the gap normalizes, meaning to where there is acceptable seamlessness. The notion of acceptability is contextual and points to and from the Observer level at which the scale operates. That last is very helpful and, again, did not see it coming until it did.

Posted this on Reddit whilst I let this marinate:

“I’m glad you posted this article because I have spent many years working on neuropathy problems from the perspective of one whose family has this as a degenerative condition. I can’t distill decades of thought and research into a comment, but the basic idea is that flexibility through the spinal column, particularly the upper back better enables communication between the brain through the limbic system to each part of the body. And back. This IMO is why so many older people appear to benefit from pot or CBD, the CBD activates local receptors which map to the brain. Think of a snake as the opposite of people: the entire body is limbic, sensitive to touch everywhere with every bit mapping to the brain so it processes all that on and around itself. People who love snakes know how they relax around them as only a snake can, but this isn’t about pets. If you then workout, you map more and more areas of your body to the brain, and that makes maps of you in motion. You can then accomplish those maps of you in motion. But to do that, you need to have the connections, and those reduce as you stiffen and lose your range of motion.

I say spine like all you need to do is a back bend. Uh no. It is extremely difficult to unlock the range of motion in your spine. I spend a significant portion of my near daily workout doing tensioned twists with cables not bands because bands provide one way resistance and operate differently with each thickness, which makes them inherently less efficient than cables. Twists and reaches and pretty much any other creative way to get my midsection turned with power and ease.

I also have vestibular problems, meaning vertigo. Treatment for this indicates a neurological inability to decide which version you are perceiving is correct. It’s like a stutter in which the body can’t align, can’t select which state to be in. This can become extreme, like when I was on a treadmill and all I could see were 3 dots and I went down like my legs had been grabbed. The treatment is to challenge your ability to follow objects with your eyes. I realized that tensioned back bends pushed my spine into a bend, so I was looking up at the ceiling and behind me, and that as I relaxed the vestibular stuttering went away. In other words, there’s a perceptive frame in front of me and I try to reset it by stretching it to the sides, to the top and bottom, and by moving my eyes over it slowly and by throwing my vision from spot to spot, until those actions smooth. I practice versions of this every day, so I know I can handle the dizzy.

My maternal line carries a disorder which stiffens the body and reduces contact with the peripheral nerves. This manifests as diminished mobility and weakness. It doesn’t show on an MRI. It only responds very short term to treatments for known conditions like Parkinson’s. Slowing gate, immobility, etc. lead to dementia. Really bad at my mom’s generation, but that may be because people now live long enough for the cost of these conditions to become more visible. I believe that treatment is to increase energy levels by establishing the opposite cycle, that instead of locking up through the fascia, which is how this spreads and why it is so hard to isolate for diagnosis, take that impulse and send it the other way. That is, the impulse now says lock up, okay reached this point, lock up some more, okay reached this, meaning it’s progressive and it covers your body like any other process with wavelike character. I assume that impulse is there, that I can’t address whatever it is without altering my genes, which seems unlikely, so I direct it to create a stiff structure and then build that, meaning get stronger and get more flexible through the range of motion, then repeat, letting that move around the body in the same progressive fashion as the debilitating cycle.

I don’t know what tomorrow holds, other than that it’s tomorrow, but this is why I at age nearly 68 am more fit than I ever have been, outside of those few stretches in youth where we really worked at being physical, like riding a bike as hard as you could just to see how hard you could but over weeks not for an afternoon of fun. I’m more flexibly strong. I can lift the same or more than I ever could. I can move my body, my shoulders, my hips through full ranges of motion under weighted tension. And I had a nearly completely frozen shoulder.

Thanks for the space to comment! I hope this helps someone realize that being and remaining physically competent truly makes your life better. “

The idea that I’m stretching the vestibular system is an example. How many structures are operating then? The Composition stutters. So learn how to press the reset button. That’s a glib remark. The process 1-0Segments because it rather obviously gsPairs. I don’t mean it’s easy to do this, just that there should be a Pathway you can go down or up, if you prefer your stairmaster.

We need a descending stairmaster because that’s when people fall. Train people on those and see if there’s fewer falls, and thus better outcomes at lower cost by reducing incidence.

Did I get at what happens when we invert over CM1? I don’t think I touched it. The problem is in Storyline I have them together talking but I can’t see how G would invert identity to a complete flip. Oh, I get it. She writes it out as math and he applies that to himself, with the math being abstracted so that it acts as a gateway or door, meaning a 1-0Segment flipping open over the half-plane, which if seen say left to right is Boundary forward, meeting all the other Boundary formation movements like the other way, colliding at each point along the way, and so on.

I am going to try to workout because movement makes me feel better.

[jonathankatwhatever]

It will be 15 Dec 2024 in 2 minutes. I had a nice day after this morning’s Work. Dropped by to hang out with Rachel and the cats. It’s nice to be able to do that. Driving around here is easy and I was at the gym, for the 7th day in a row. I have a twinge in my left elbow; been setting personal records almost every day. Working with heavier weight has addicting qualities because it recruits so much of the body. Lower weights don’t require such complete engagement. And there’s math to that.

I have the end of Goldfinger on. Watched a few minutes of From Russia With Love. It’s amazing how amateurish the action is. Complete fake. This means that when the movie came out we translated this nonsense so it felt more real to us, so we could participate in the action as Observer who takes on partial roles as Actor, which fits because it is a movie but I mean the notation.

They don’t make an effort to portray the gun fighting or the casualties as real. It’s truly comic book. I mean they have this spy struggling to stop the bomb from going off and then Q shows up as an arm reaching for the switch which the spy sensibly would have noticed but which we buy because that gives the show humor as a release, like the proverbial cigarette after sex which these movies actually do. The way contexts make real is exactly how we would predict. Just realized that. Another basic, easily understandable, yet extremely deep and fundamental proof, where proof means a story that rigorously fits.

I was thinking earlier, by the way, that the resolution to the turbulence issue appears to be distance from the D3-4Space in question, meaning that two flows of gsProcess, which we refer to as counts but which maybe should be gsFlows (of gsProcess), as another label for End-to-End and Extent, where Extent is the counting along the szK.

They actually show a small window being shot out on a plane and a big man being sucked out from far away. Just making it up because it sounds cool. It’s the same point though, which surprises me, because both require the Observer to be far enough away that incompatible gsFlows occur within the same gsSpace. See where the usage fits? When talking about gsProcess, gsSpace, then gsFlows embodies what it sounds like, sections of gsProcess within or connecting through or across gsSpace. Okay, don’t get lost in the land of or.

So what this means is that the Observer moves on the pole, which makes a 1-0Segment exactly like the old universe pictures I made in college, from placid to chaotic. That shifts the continuity issues and thus the smoothness issues into szK. That was the missing part of the turbulence discussion.

Need to get ready for sleep. I wanted to say that today (yesterday) I found a way to force bend my knee. While using a leg press, I realized I could slide my body down and under my knees and that this occurred with any weighting and thus with lowered resistance, which meant the defensive don’t bend reactions weren’t as stimulated. Amazing how well this analytical framework explains, isn’t it?

Did I mention I figured out the walls. It’s tree of life, tree of knowledge, over the 3D rendered into 2D and thus the 3rd eye as well as the point at infinity, then the human figure which is 2 because it’s human, and then after the duality is the cave art where imagination meets experience.

So I was able to bend my right knee materially past 90 degrees with discomfort only at the max.