#swv Lola

[padawansuggest]

Since some of you MIGHT know the fact that I am obsessed with the eldritch possibilities of the Force in Star Wars (especially since not many people know that the Time Travel fic is about to get Super Fuckin Weird soon and that’s saying something cause I’m writing this after I’ve already revealed that most of the clones are gonna end up back in time) aaaaaaaaaand I am also the type of autist that takes things SUPER literally in a way that makes me hate poetry, take music seriously, and ‘visual poetry’ is not real wdym that’s just an alternate universe where weird shit happens-

Anyways. I have always been somewhat obsessed with Star Wars Visions since it came out, and my fave episode is S2E1: Sith. Earlier I was thinking about the speeder cycle that Lola has in it, and I wanna find out what type of cycle that is so I can put it in a fic (I think in the fic where Jaster finds Obi-Wan in the jungle and adopts him and brings him home, he would eventually get Obi-Wan one for like his 18th birthday or something, saying ‘it’s nearly crash proof’ only for him and Jango and Arla to watch in worry the entire time Obi is on it because ‘👁️👄👁️ the lot worker that sold me it said it wasn’t possible to go that fast on it’ and now Boga is trying to bite it when Obi passes her and they are SO worried)-

But the other reason I wanna rewatch it rn!!! Is because I take the visuals very literally. And I think I wasn’t the only one obviously but apparently a lot of other people completely ignored the visuals, saying it’s part of the metaphor but I’m over here like screeching at my caseboard like ‘THE VISUALS ARE LITERALLY HER HIDING HER PRESENCE IN THE FORCE SHE HAS SHADED HERSELF INTO ANOTHER BRANCH OF THE UNIVERSE TO HIDE FROM HER MASTER’ like. Honey. It’s the force. It’s not just visual metaphor bruh she’s found a way to hide in the edges of the universe and her look of colour on the galaxy is how she continues to sustain herself with minimal interaction with the universe!!!

‘Oh but why can she still fight her Sith master-‘ don’t be dense you shit, when she found a door that was already fully coated in colour despite it being non-living, she was clearly shocked and tried to get into it, without realizing that was a Sith portal BACK into the world of physical being and the only way her master could trap her into dealing with him!!!!!

Anyways. I want to make Lola a character in fics the same way I have Jaster or Fay in fics. They’re not big screen characters or even well known characters, but fans seem to love all of them.

And in the time travel fic it would actually make sense for Obi-Wan to accidentally run into her at a certain point and charm her with his big smiles and complimenting her paintings and grin really big and point to his mouth and say he lost his fang caps recently so his fangs are all tiny again, aren’t they cute??? Anyways. Yeah.

[fictionalfantasies]

Since October is my favorite month, we get 2 playlists! Yay! Every month, I do the top 25 songs out imo and make a playlist. Lately, I've been adding a bonus track with Tiktok bringing old and new songs to the forefront; I figured I would also include whatever song that's trending. And it's about damn time Rihanna had a song trending again, lol. "If It's Lovin' That You Want," the second single from her first album back in 2005, is going viral because of a dance. I'm glad it's back because you all slept on it way back when imo. What I'm most excited about is *NSYNC's back, alright! Oh wait...lol. 😉

Add to your libraries below! 👇🏼🎼🎧

October 2023 on Apple Music 

October 2023 on Spotify 

Happy listening! 🎸☠️ Subscribe to me for more playlists!

[nepofm]

spotted      at      met      steps     ,    wearing      last      season’s      jimmy      choo     ?      i’d      leave      the      steps      in      the      next     24      hours      before      nepoupdates      catches      them     &    if      it      were      me     ,    i’d      definitely      go      back      to      the     checklist    of      golden      rules      .

lola  barlow  emily  alyn  lind  ,  muse  2a

theodore  “theo”  brooks  mason gooding

elliot  kang  kim  taehyung

naomi  king  ashley  moore

eleonora  “esme”  mescudi  ,  zendaya  ,  muse  2j

emily   alyn   lind.   she/her.   cis   female.   ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   lola   barlow   ,   most   likely   listening   to   mastermind   by   taylor   swift   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty   one   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -calculating   yet   +engaging   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   a   perfectly   curated   instagram   feed,   an   air   of   effortlessness   that   covers   careful   consideration   of   every   move,   &   hiding   breakdowns   beneath   a   flawless   smile   ,   followed   by   black   cherry   by   tom   ford   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   latest   she’s   been   seen   once   again   getting   up   close   and   personal   with   someone   who's   meant   to   be   taken   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .

mason gooding.     he/him.     cis man.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps  ,  theodore “theo” brooks   ,   most   likely   listening   to   i  mean it   by   g-eazy   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty   four  year  old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -vain   yet   +smart   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   sunglasses to hide from the blinding flash of paparazzi  ,  love life drama all over tmz,  taking his girlfriend of the month to italy  followed   by   TBD   signature   scent   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   latest  he was written off his hit tv show due to backstage drama caused by him   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   

kim taehyung.     he / him.     cis male.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   elliot   kang   ,   most   likely   listening   to   double   take   by   dhruv   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty-five   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -reckless   yet   +loyal   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   goodnight   texts   after   one-night   stands   ,   brushing   concerns   off   with   laughter   ,   and   looking   to   the   sky   for   answers   followed   by   toasted   vanilla   and   honey.   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   him   drunkenly   confessing   to   being   the   family’s   illegitimate   child   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   

ashley moore.     she / her.     cis female.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   naomi   king   ,   most   likely   listening   to   i’m   so   into   you   by   swv   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty-six   year   old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -cutthroat   yet   +genuine   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   smoking   weed   on   the   patio   while   stargazing   ,   closing   the   dance   studio  doors   long   after   dark   ,   and    the   overwhelming   rush   of   nostalgia   after   looking   at   home   videos   followed   by   cucumber   melon.   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   sleeping   with   a   higher-up   to   get   her   recent   choreographer   role   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   

zendaya.     she/her.     cis female.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,   eleonora "  esmé  "   mescudi   ,   most   likely   listening   to   day ' n' nite   by   kid cudi  with   their   airpods   pro   .   the   twenty-three  year old   gained   quite   a   reputation   ,   known   to   be   -vengeful   yet   +coquettish   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   a silhouette illuminated by the moon   ,  the almond eyes of a deliberate soul  ,  the booming screams of " my diamond earrings ! "  followed   by  j'adore by adore   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   esmé's secretly sending the sex tape to her mother , who leaked it  for higher fame   ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .   

[j-est-la-vie]

“Why are you still single?!”

I get asked this question from time to time by family and friends.  To be honest, it’s not for lack of trying!  Dating is hard and everyone is so caught up with their own lives, daily routines, and personal excuses that finding someone to actually share life with a real challenge!   In any case, my question back to them is always “what’s wrong with being single?”

Truth be told we live in a society that is obsessed with relationships, romance, and companionship.  Before you get the wrong idea, I like to believe that I am a romantic at heart.  Despite everything that has happened in my short life, I still believe in love and committed relationships.  But let’s get back to the topic at hand.   Is being single really a bad thing?  Of course not!  The thing is we have been socially conditioned at a young age to believe that to find true happiness we need to find a partner to make us happy.

Growing up in a traditional Filipino household I was always asked at the dinner table; first by my Tita - “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?!” Followed by my Lola - “You don’t want to be alone like your Tito Boy!” (pretty sure that wasn’t his real name and he seemed plenty happy to me).  Then finally my Mom - “Don’t you want someone to take care of you?” (all in their super fobby accents).  I know they meant well but this didn’t really help a young adolescent boy who was still in a bit of a culture/identity shock growing up in a predominantly white suburban town in NJ.  Whether my family knew it or not they were influencing some of my decisions.  And this is probably one of the many reasons I became a serial monogamist.  

Through my religious upbringing I was taught that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the lord” (Proverbs 18:22).  Through the Rom-Coms I watched growing up like Jerry Maguire showing dramatic scenes like when Tom Cruise confesses his love for Renee Zellwegger and says his famous line “You complete me.”  Not to mention all the 90’s R&B songs I was obsessed with like 112’s “Cupid” or SWV’s “Weak”.  Again, social conditioning focused on feelings and ideals that don’t always work in the real world.  

So here I was on my quest for happiness and to find “the one”.  Going from one failed relationship to the next.  This pretty much lasted from High School, all through out College, post college with my ex wife, and even post divorce with my last ex girlfriend.  Not to mention the excessive partying and flings I had between every relationship (which could probably be a blog on its own 😅).  Eventually though you have to make a choice and that's exactly what I did.  I said enough is enough.  Instead of searching for happiness in others, I needed to find out what really makes me happy.   To be honest, I don’t think I would have been able to answer this before my divorce but I think trauma can bring out the best in people and with a lot of work, patience, and *cough* therapy *cough* change/growth can really happen (more on this on future posts).   

One of the ways I rediscovered my own happiness was by thinking about the things I loved to do when I was younger.  For me it was working out, going to live concerts, and watching Japanese Anime 🤓.  Recently, I discovered a love for hiking and surfing.  Start small and in time you will rediscover old passions and find new ones as well.  

Another way is to learn to be alone and make peace with the peace.  Think of this time as regenerative and continue to do nice things for yourself and treat yourself (KITH for retail therapy or Prince St. Pizza for food cravings 😅).  Personally this was a hard one for me, I am an extroverted extrovert if there is such thing.   I love meeting new people and enjoy being around people.  But I knew that if I wanted change, I needed to make a real effort and make time for myself.  This was partly the reason why I moved so that I can spend time with me, myself, and I.   This didn’t stop me from being the social butterfly that I am, but I had a lot more time to rediscover myself.

Now being single doesn’t mean you isolate yourself!  Spend time with the people you care about or want to get to know.  Call them, text them, or *gasp* actually ask them to hang out!  You may strike out once in awhile but in time you’ll find your tribe.  Find people who have the same hobbies and interests as you.  There are so many social groups now that with some effort you can find people who you can spend time with doing the things you love or even just be weird with!

The goal here is balance, give yourself enough time on your own while also connecting with like minded individuals.  So on this journey of being single.  Be patient and take the time to get to know yourself and understand what makes you tick.  Without self-care and paying attention to yourself and your wants and needs you can easily slip back into another relationship before you are ready.  Healthy relationships take a lot of patience, work, and sacrifice.  So in the meantime enjoy your single life while you can!

On a side note, there are many people out there who are living happy and fulfilled lives being single by choice!  Don’t think that the end game is to be in a romantic relationship.   

[padawansuggest]

Okay so I just searched Lola just to see if there was a canon timeline for her or if she can be placed anywhere (I am a firm believer that she can be dropped just about anywhere okay her part of the SW whole is AMBIGUOUS other than being apprenticed to Kutu as a Sith) and I have struck gold!!

Kutu, her master that she killed, has a death listed as 32 BBY.

Which means that Palpatine’s master was NOT the only Sith master killed that year!!! Kutu and Palpatine are also both very cringefail at keeping their evil apprentices evil lol. Maybe. Maybe if they actually offered power instead of taking unwilling slaves- lmao as if.

Anyways. I want an AU where Lola is off in her shade of the universe when she finds a bundle of soft sad cosmic force energy. (Btw, I put this in my time travel AU but I believe cosmic force users are basically energy MAKERS which is why Lola is able to sustain her shade of the universe, because she isn’t just THERE, she’s exuding enough energy to keep life coming to her for her needs, and also I believe that Obi-Wan belongs to the cosmic force. This is not canon at all, I don’t think he’s even technically listed as a unifying force Jedi. Him as a living force Jedi is wrong in like 10000 ways tho lol.)

Anyways. She feels bad about the sad little bundle of cosmic force, so she absorbs him into her shade, where he turns out to be a 13 year old boy that was put in a slave mine.

Anyways, she teaches him to use the shade they now live in to move about in a way that defies all physics and takes him as her apprentice.

It’s not till Obi-Wan is 25 that they encounter Kutu and Maul both on Tatooine, working together because they needed to catch Palpatine’s future apprentice.

Anyways. Kutu gets dead and Maul is given a choice, that not all those who followed the Sith, even willingly, can’t turn their backs on it. Anyways, Maul goes into that shade of the universe and runs off to collect his brothers and teach them too.

And that’s when the Jedi learn that Obi-Wan is still alive and has a lovely master with lovely droids and Anakin wants to help her upgrade her arm and Obi-Wan is ENCHANTED by the baby and asks to teach him, meanwhile Jinn (not QUITE to blame but also not exactly welcomed rn) is standing there like 🧍🏼because he knows the ride back to Coruscant is gonna be awkward and the high council are like ‘YOU FOUND OUR BABY????’

Anyways. I should write this. Also I should find another word to use other than shade, because it’s not a shade. It’s like. They’re in the same place as everyone else, they’re just overlapping like multiple dimensions where they can create their own rules.

Also I think Obi-Wan shouldn’t call her master. He should call her Mama.

Since some of you MIGHT know the fact that I am obsessed with the eldritch possibilities of the Force in Star Wars (especially since not many people know that the Time Travel fic is about to get Super Fuckin Weird soon and that’s saying something cause I’m writing this after I’ve already revealed that most of the clones are gonna end up back in time) aaaaaaaaaand I am also the type of autist that takes things SUPER literally in a way that makes me hate poetry, take music seriously, and ‘visual poetry’ is not real wdym that’s just an alternate universe where weird shit happens-

Anyways. I have always been somewhat obsessed with Star Wars Visions since it came out, and my fave episode is S2E1: Sith. Earlier I was thinking about the speeder cycle that Lola has in it, and I wanna find out what type of cycle that is so I can put it in a fic (I think in the fic where Jaster finds Obi-Wan in the jungle and adopts him and brings him home, he would eventually get Obi-Wan one for like his 18th birthday or something, saying ‘it’s nearly crash proof’ only for him and Jango and Arla to watch in worry the entire time Obi is on it because ‘👁️👄👁️ the lot worker that sold me it said it wasn’t possible to go that fast on it’ and now Boga is trying to bite it when Obi passes her and they are SO worried)-

But the other reason I wanna rewatch it rn!!! Is because I take the visuals very literally. And I think I wasn’t the only one obviously but apparently a lot of other people completely ignored the visuals, saying it’s part of the metaphor but I’m over here like screeching at my caseboard like ‘THE VISUALS ARE LITERALLY HER HIDING HER PRESENCE IN THE FORCE SHE HAS SHADED HERSELF INTO ANOTHER BRANCH OF THE UNIVERSE TO HIDE FROM HER MASTER’ like. Honey. It’s the force. It’s not just visual metaphor bruh she’s found a way to hide in the edges of the universe and her look of colour on the galaxy is how she continues to sustain herself with minimal interaction with the universe!!!

‘Oh but why can she still fight her Sith master-‘ don’t be dense you shit, when she found a door that was already fully coated in colour despite it being non-living, she was clearly shocked and tried to get into it, without realizing that was a Sith portal BACK into the world of physical being and the only way her master could trap her into dealing with him!!!!!

Anyways. I want to make Lola a character in fics the same way I have Jaster or Fay in fics. They’re not big screen characters or even well known characters, but fans seem to love all of them.

And in the time travel fic it would actually make sense for Obi-Wan to accidentally run into her at a certain point and charm her with his big smiles and complimenting her paintings and grin really big and point to his mouth and say he lost his fang caps recently so his fangs are all tiny again, aren’t they cute??? Anyways. Yeah.