#sweet little love lemming

[lemoniiiiiii]

bed chem (short n' sweet)

(colin zabel x fem!reader) your internship just got more interesting...

warnings / content: not really proofread, age gap (reader is 20-22, colin's like 32-34), swearing, perv!reader tbh, NSFW - masturbation (toys) + fingering (fem receiving), p in v

(this fic is a part of my short n' sweet collection!) a/n: every time i listen to this song i think of colin like he's just so... AHHHHHHHHHH i've literally had this idea since the album came out! tried to incorporate as many lyrics as i could idk how well i did tho!

--

the easttown police department wasn’t exactly a hub of thrilling action. that was probably a good thing for the town, but for you, it made the days of your internship drag endlessly. stuck behind a desk, processing minor domestic disputes and petty incidents, the hours stretched out. you couldn’t help but wish that, just once, you’d be allowed to join an officer out in the field. to witness a slice of the town's life up close instead of through dry reports. but no, you were stuck in the back office, relying on your imagination to fill in the blanks while you typed up incident after incident.

on this particular afternoon, you were making your way down the hallway with a precariously high stack of files balanced in your arms. you could feel the papers shift, hear the quiet rustle of their movement as they started to slide. panic gripped you briefly—this was going to be embarrassing. you were already imagining the cascade of documents scattering across the floor, how you’d have to drop to your knees and scramble to gather them up, probably while everyone watched. just as the stack tilted dangerously to one side, a hand swooped in, catching the top section before it could tumble.

"here, lemme help you with that," a man said, accompanied by a friendly smile. a smile too relaxed, too bright for this quiet, indifferent corner of pennsylvania.

grateful, you gestured toward your desk a few feet away. "thanks," you mumbled, trying not to sound too embarrassed as you placed the files down with a sigh of relief. he set the rescued papers down beside yours, glancing at you with a foreign look. like he actually saw you as a person instead of the intern that does the shit no one else wants to do.

"you doin' okay?" he asked. his concern seemed genuine, which again, took you a second to process.

"yeah! yeah, i'm good!" you responded, a little too enthusiastically perhaps, as you straightened the files in a futile effort to regain your composure. "thank you."

the man chuckled softly. "you know, sometimes it’s easier just to take the two trips." he shot you a wink that made your pulse quicken. "speakin' from experience," he added, leaning a little closer as if sharing a secret. "when i was in your shoes, i had to learn the hard way."

the chief called him over and, after a charismatic "duty calls" farewell, he walked off. you sat down at your desk, face hurting from the corners of your mouth being lifted for so long, but you couldn't bring them down.

you buried your face into your arms, letting your forehead rest against the cool surface of the desk for a few minutes. if anyone saw the flush creeping up your cheeks, you’d never hear the end of it. you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feeling, willing yourself to get back to work. but the more you tried to focus, the more impossible it became.

why? because guess whose office was in clear view of your desk? mare's. and guess who was now in mare's office quite adorably rehearsing a conversation with himself?

yeah... you were done for.

the man's lips moved slightly as if he was practicing lines for a play, his brow furrowed in concentration, and every so often, he’d run a hand through his neatly cropped hair, or shake his head in disapproval, looking entirely too charming for his own good.

you needed to find out who he was right away. what was he there to talk to mare about? was he a detective? why couldn't you stop thinking about him pinning you against a wall?

unable to live with the mystery you pushed yourself up from your chair and marched over to the nearest officer, your pulse still racing. "hey—uh, hello." you cleared your throat, trying to sound casual despite the warmth still lingering in your cheeks. "who’s the cute guy in mare’s office? you know, uh.."

wide brown eyes, chiseled jawline..

"navy jacket- big briefcase."

the officer looked up, raising an eyebrow at your blunt description before glancing toward the office. "county guy chief brought in to help with the katie bailey case," he replied nonchalantly. "last name's zabel if i remember right."

you nodded, pretending like that was enough to satisfy your curiosity, but then another officer nearby chimed in with a smirk. "that’s him? poor guy’s gonna be in for it."

they quickly devolved into their own conversation, talking shop and completely forgetting you were even standing there. under normal circumstances, their dismissal might’ve bugged you, but you had bigger priorities now.

back at your desk, you grabbed your phone and opened up a browser, your fingers flying across the screen. within moments, you’d found him. detective colin zabel of delaware county. recently praised for solving a cold case involving a missing 10-year-old girl—a feat that had earned him respect in the force and beyond.

you couldn’t help but grin. of course he was the hero detective. it made perfect sense. but now that you knew who he was, it didn’t make the butterflies in your stomach any easier to ignore.

when mare had finally arrived, you watched the awkward interaction between the two of them. colin outstretched his hand only for her to disregard his formalities. you saw it coming, but it didn't make it any less painful to observe.

you waited until she had left (which wasn't very long) to discreetly travel over to the office. the door was open so you knocked on the frame.

"it's not personal. she's got a lot going on" you said with an understanding smile.

at the sound of your voice, colin turned around, giving a deflated chuckle towards your remark. "you er- saw that whole thing?"

"my desk is right there" you said, pointing, the two stacks of files barely touched. "sorry i kinda.. visually eavesdropped"

"no worries-" colin briefly smiled at your humorous confession then looked away. "uhhhhhh- did you need somethin'?"

"just wanted to introduce myself" you said, extending your hand out. "i'm y/n"

when he firmly took yours in his, your eyes couldn't help but flicker down and notice the veins that decorated them. a thought crossed your mind about where they might show up on other parts of his body.

"that's a pretty name"

you looked up from the grip your two hands were intertwined in, colin's attentive dark eyes on you.

"thank you.." you said softly, pulling away. shit, why were you out of breath? "uhm- i read about that... that case you solved? amazing work"

"oh- that was- i'm not-" he scratched the back of his head, trying to find words to minimize the accomplishment. you didn't know what was more attractive—hearing him stumble over his words or his humility. "we brought her home you know? that's what matters"

you nodded earnestly in response. "100%... well let me know if you need anythin'. i know people here can be a bit closed off but it's not all that bad."

"yeah thanks... nice to know i got a friend already" he smiled.

a friend... for now.

--

seeing as he was always in the back of your mind, and you couldn't care less about filling out reports, daydreaming about colin became your favorite past time. and every smile, every corny joke he greeted you with only fueled your crush.

it wasn't long before you noticed he had his eyes on mare, but the way he stared at you while you spoke about your criminology major... crossing his built arms, leaning forward on his desk to show you he was really listening. the way he'd routinely check on you and stop by your desk to chat....

for god's sake he started to get you coffee every morning.

there had to be something there... right? something more between you than mere camaraderie.

you definitely thought so. and thought about it often.. in bed.

eyes closed, you pictured colin's body hovering over yours. you could discern his toned figure from the form fitted button-ups he wore.. he'd have absolutely no problem picking you up and turning you over, manhandling you... though he probably wouldn't. he's too sweet for that. so sweet... and yet no ring? colin seemed like the type of man who should've had a wife and 2 kids by now...

maybe you could be the one to give that to him.

not now of course.

one day though.

still thinking of him you reached down into your panties, playing with your delicate folds in the caring manner you imagined him to have.

"so beautiful" he'd whisper, pumping two slick digits in and out of you at a sensual pace.

gasping moans escaped from your mouth as your fingers moved faster, the squelching sound of your fluids filling the room.

"that's it... god, i love how y'sound..."

belt unbuckled, he'd pull down his pants and boxers in one swift motion revealing his hard cock ready to drive into you. from underneath your bed you grab your dildo—oversized and veiny as colin would be and removed your now-soaked underwear.

he'd smile against your lips as he slotted himself between your legs, your body accommodating as he entered. after he'd ask (quite endearningly) if you're okay, you'd quickly nod, giving him permission to continue.

you try to imagine the expression of lust on his face... the sound of his deep groans in your ear as you fucked yourself gently, attempting to emulate your bodies rocking together in synced movement, the riveting sensation of the veins against your walls sending shockwaves through your body.

"fuck... oh my god" you panted, feeling the heat build up in your core. you were close.

"let go, i've got you... taking me like this, you're doing so well... makin' me feel so good..."

you increase the pace at which you pummel the dildo into your quivering cunt, eyes rolling back as you reach your climax, your body left trembling.

with colin, your sure you'd probably both arrive at the same time.

but for now you just had to live with unsatisfaction of not feeling his warm release coating your insides.

--

the next morning the chief had called you into his office.

a grin spread on your face as the he detailed the new program the department was implementing, how you'd finally be able to shadow an officer like you'd hoped when you first applied for the internship.

"any officer you have a preference to be paired with?"

you turned your head and caught colin's gaze through the office window. he was deep in conversation with mare, but when he noticed you, he gave a small wave. you smiled back, feeling a slight flutter.

"yeah, i’ve got someone in mind."

--

extra note: part two coming (hopefully soon!) it'll be based off the song "busy woman"!

tags (ask to be added or removed anytime!): @fear-is-truth @juliamaximoff @jazz-berry @violetsghosts @quickreider @tiffysdeath @honeymoon8

[lem-argentum]

eueuueue. rucred stealth missions return

[bunnis-monsters]

NSFW

When you’re first brought to the hive, the bee hybrids attempt to comfort you. They bring out the cuter, more petite and feminine males to coo and buzz, nuzzling and purring against you as they prepared you for breeding.

They were so soft and fluffy, their hands moving over your body and learning every curve it had. This was the first time they’d ever seen a human pussy, so their wings buzzed with curiosity and excitement as they experimented with your pretty, fat cunt.

When you’d moan, they chirp and coo, their antennae tickling your face in happiness as they continued those motions, some taking notes.

You were their queen and they wanted nothing more than to pleasure you perfectly!

They were all so pretty, so soft and sweet smelling… it was driving you crazy.

The first cock that sunk into your pussy took you by surprise. All of the bee hybrids surrounding you were either your height or shorter, cute fluffy, sweet things… but here they were, stretching you out as they whined in pleasure and praised you for taking them so well.

The feeling of your belly beginning to swell with eggs was… strange, almost uncomfortable. You’d never felt so full before, and once you were too full to take anymore, you were settled into bed.

There were several fuzzy hands on your round belly, soothing it. Honey was rubbed into the stretched skin and they made sure to comfort you as you got used to being their sweet little incubator.

“My queen… you look gorgeous…”

You had a few clutches of eggs before the drone bee hybrids couldn’t take it anymore. They wanted access to the queen, they loved you so much it hurt to not get to be inside that fat, pretty cunt of yours!

So you sat in bed, one of your usual mates nibbling softly on your neck as the drones swarmed the bed, worshipping your body and stretching you out more than you thought possible.

Some came so quick, they had been pumping their cocks to the image of you being fucked by the others as they waited, and edges themselves until they were able to fill your pussy with their eggs.

Others lasted so long the others would get impatient, their wings buzzing with irritation as they humped pillows or your free hands.

You were carried away to be bathed and soothed once you were done. They all loved you so much, getting to mate with the queen was an honor… they knew you would eventually pick a queen to be your primary partner… but they were hoping to have most of your attention for a while longer…

———————

NSFW TAGLIST: @sunset-214 @strawberrypoundtown @avalordream @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @im-eating-rn @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @peachesdabunny @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @i8kaeya @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @keikokashi @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @honey-crypt @karljra @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @binnieonabike @enchantedsylveon @mysticranger575 @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @filthybunny420 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @blubearxy @omglovelylaila @midromiell @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

hii honey!! hope it’s as good as we talked about. you’re very welcome, glad you liked it!! I love dad tan sm it’s actually concerning. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

sorry had to repost it, when I uploaded it, it completely disappeared from my dash??? @j23r23

NEW ADDITION.

dad tangerine x fem!reader — fluff

word count. 431

Expanding on family is something both you and Tangerine always knew you wanted. And now, sitting in your hospital bed with a newborn, you knew you had got your wish.

"Mum, mummy," Mandy calls, running into your hospital room, Uncle Lemon tailing close behind. "Where is she?" she excitedly asks, jumping onto the bed beside you. "Can I see her?" 

"Yeah, in a minute, poppet. Daddy's changing her," you reply, stroking over her face. "I missed you," you kiss her forehead, turning to look at Lemon standing beside you.

"So proud of you," he says, leaning over to kiss your cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," you smile. "Thank you for looking after her."

“It's really no… problem,” he goes quiet, watching his brother and new baby niece enter the room. "Oh my god, she's tiny," he whispers, looking between you and Tan, his eyes widening - his expression full of admiration.

"She is," Tangerine whispers in response, too afraid of scaring her. "She's beautiful."

He walks closer, joining the rest of his family around you on the bed. He takes a seat at the edge, sitting beside your knees and his daughter - his new baby one cradled in his arms. 

"Can I see her?" Mandy asks, perching higher to get a better look. 

Tangerine nods, tilting the newborn slightly. "Yeah, but no touching just yet. You probably have sticky hands," he scolds lovingly, playfully narrowing his eyes. "Bet you've had lots of sweets with Lem, hm?"

"Do you want to hold her?" you ask, looking at Lemon, watching the trance-like focus he has on your new baby. 

He looks between you and Tan for confirmation, the pair of you nodding with a soft smile. Tangerine stands and extends his arms towards his brother, placing his new niece in his loving hold.

"Oh my god," he whispers, his voice almost fragile. "She's beautiful."

Tangerine pats his twin's back before moving to stand by your side, his hand reaching for yours.

"What's her name?" he finally asks, his gaze concentrated on the little girl.

You and Tan turn to look at each other, your eyes knowing as you silently agree on the name you've spoken about.

"We named her after her uncle," you say softly, grip tightening in your lover's hand. "Mel... just like Lem," you smile, watching his eyes almost swell. 

"No," he shakes his head, tone like that of disbelief. "No, you didn't."

Tangerine nods, his features tight like he's trying to pull himself together. 

Lemon looks down at her, his bottom lip wobbling. "Welcome to the family, little Mel." 

IVE LOOKED THROUGH SO MANY IMAGES ON PINTEREST OF DADS WITH BABIES TO FIND THE PERFECT IMAGE (had no luck) AND IM NOT OKAY. ITS DONE SOMETHING TO ME

[forusomimiya]

“I thought you would be a model student"

"Am I not?"

"Well... I just hate to have to call your attention to you repeatedly”

"Oh... I'm so sorry for that. You might have to punish me more often”

"Yeah, let's see if that teaches you the lesson for once” and with a quick thrust he sinks into you, bruising your fragile spot, but letting you adjust to him as soon as he starts to move. "Cause I don't think you'd want me to give you another warning, would you?"

"Oh, n-no please. Don’t wanna have to throw my magnificent academic record away" Your arrogant smile puts him on edge. He still hasn't gotten used to your manners. "Just come over more often in those tight black trousers. I love the view of how your cock gets hard from my desk. Do it and I promise I’ll keep myself busy"

"hah, how touching... but it's not the trousers that make my cock hard, honey" you continue to struggle to keep the volume down. Even though it's just the two of you in his office, the teachers room is close by and you're still on school time, but his deep thrusts steal all your energy and you can only faintly gasp for breath, enjoying every little burn in your stomach as you feel your orgasm nearing. "It's that pretty face of yours that makes me hard at the thought of how precious you would be moaning my name as you squeeze around me, just how you are doing right now" His confession takes hold of what little is left of you.

Sweet, wild words tingle in your ear as your lips continue moaning his name, holding you firmly to his desk and letting you spilling over it.

@sugaraddict301 @lem-hhn 🫶🏻

[q-starhalo]

I LIED, THIS IS MY LAST IMPORTANT LETTER TO YOU AT THE MOMENT:

No but it's seriously has been such an honor liveblogging Bad on the qsmp and I'm so glad I took the chance to do so when I was thinking about whether or not to post about him here <3 While I can't say when I started posting more on my account, I can say that I'm so glad it was this community and Bad that inspired me to do so and I will forever be thankful for that <3

And I also have to say that I was glad that I took part in our little road trip to Purgatory that day and joined the bus discord since I've met so many more people even if I didn't talk there for 2 months after it opened ^^"

And now onto my favorite people (which is just all of you guys but I can only remember so many users o(-()

@alchemicaladarna You have been such a nice person to see in my notes and in my feed <3 While we don't speak much, you're a really sweet person and I'm glad I got to meet you

@anth4rax You are one of the fastest people I've met when it came to liking posts. And while you can be a tad chaotic, you're always a welcoming presence in my notes and in the bus <3 I'm really glad I've gotten to speak to you and be your friend <33

@azure-wing While I believe we don't speak much, it's always a pleasure seeing you hanging out in the bus and notifying others who's live <3

@badanddapper You posting Bad and Dapper clips have always made my day <3 Thank you <333

@baginamybeloved NIKOLA <3333 Siempre es un placer hablar contigo en español or in english and figure out if something is just a my country thing or not xD And even then, it's just a pleasure talking to you and I'm glad we've met <3333

@bixxibee Bixx!!! <3 I'm always happy to see you around and speak to you <33 You're a really nice person and I'm glad I got the chance to meet you <33

@boytoyhalo SIREN!! <3 While I think we've barely spoken, I'm always happy to see you around <33

@celluzu I don't think we've spoken before but I'm grateful for the Bad and Dapper you drew for me during the Trick or Treat on Tumblr <33

@creechurrr CREECHURRRRRRRRRR <33333333333 AUGH I LOVE WHENEVER YOU COME INTO MY ASKS YOU'RE MIND IS SO BEAUTIFUL YOU ALWAYS GET ME AND YOUR FICS ARE AMAZING <33333 AND YOU'RE SO KIND AND I'M SO GLAD I GOT TO MEET YOU <3333

@dappersautismcreature While we don't speak much, I love seeing you here and there and I loved your starhalo au's <3333 OH AND THE UM UM I FORGET WHAT IT'S CALLED BUT THE GRIM REAPER FIC ONE WAS SO GOOD <33333

@disfrutalakia Kia!!! You've always been my go-to blog for the Brazilians and Bagina and I'm so glad I got to meet you <3

@etoilesmoon One of the many people who understand me when it comes to starhalo 🤝 Hope I get to speak to you more <3

@gnostie GHOST!!! While we've only started speaking more recently, I'm so glad Mizu directed me to you when it came to clowns and just cute stuff in general <3 Ha sido un placer de conocerte <33333

@hgduo YOU GET ME. YOU F★CKING GET ME. (Also you're very cool. Tons of love to you <3)

@islayuri YOU'RE SO TALENTED OH MY GOD YOU'RE ART MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE <33333

@kadextra KADE. KADE. YOU'RE ART AND YOUR THEORIES AND THE BLACK SIGN STUFF. <3333333 And not only that, but you're such a sweet and talented person <333 Sending you lots of love <3333

@kaijuparfait PARFAIT!!! <333 It's been a pleasure talking to you about starhalo in the past and now more recently hearing (or more so reading) about Godzilla and how it fits Bad <33 Glad I met you <33333

@karoo-o LOVE YOUR ART AND IT WAS AN HONOR MAKING A PLAYLIST FOR YOU DURING THE VALENTINE EXCHANGE <3333

@kays-artstuff Even if you don't do much qsmp art, I'm always so glad to see you in my notes and I love seeing your art, it's so 💥💥💥💥💥

@l3m-n LEM!! While I rarely see you now, it was a pleasure talking to you here and there <33

@little-soldiers We've spoken here and there but you were such an inspiration for me to write out a little fic and I still hold on to that encouragement whenever I want to write something but don't think it'll be well <333 Thank you <3333

@lunaeclipse1057-ao3 LUNAAAAAAAAAA <3333333 While I've already said this, you're genuinely a sweet person even if we've barely spoken and I hope I still see you around <33333333

@lxrd-ren While I don't think you open Tumblr anymore, I just want you to know that you were and always will be the best bus buddy ever <33

@mizuski-broken MIZUUUUUUUUUU OH GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN?????? You always get me when it comes to the paranormal and you're just such a nice person to be around with <3333 I'm so glad I got to meet you and consider you a friend of mine <33333333

@muffinclutch Love seeing you in my notes <333 Hope to see you around <3333

@qsmprambling Always glad to see you around <3333

@starscollide0 YOU'RE ART IS SO 💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥 And you're also such a nice person <3333 I hope to see you around <3333333333

@tubborucho LISS!! I'm always happy to see you around and you're truly the go to soulfire/tubhalo person <3 Lots of love to you <333333

@ultra-raging-ghost Ghost!!! It's always such a pleasure seeing you out and about whether it be you drawing or talking about mainly ayhalo and cucuhalo to in my notes, I'm always glad to see you <333 Hope to talk to you more <333333

And of course to many others like the people in my notes (@toxic-foolhalo-yuri, @j3ssicaangel, @fl10werc4t, @kayleighthekoala, @starriknight, @mystifiedmystery, @nightlight26, etc.) and everyone on the bus like Theo, Zero, Brubs, Zunto, March, Tannin, Des, Nico, and so so many others!!!! <3 Thank you again for this wonderful experience and trust me when I say, I will always be here <3333

- Yours truly, Star ★

[ch0wen]

Cover - Part III | Tangerine x Fem!Reader | 18+

warnings: smut mentioned, (minors dni), cursing, & violence

to catch up - Cover - parts one & two

———-

Tangerine's large hands wrapped around the diner's ceramic mug full of his muddled-grey tea. Warming himself while also trying to still his shakiness. He was having a tough time attempting to conceal his nerves. He avoided eye contact to retroactively stall the dreaded discussion.

“So,” you started, “Tangerine and Lemon. Fruits. Why choose from that category?”

Across from you, the man looked physically and mentally relieved that you hadn't leaped right into the hard questions. A smile wriggled under his mustache,

"When we were younger, Lem and I loved to watch American cinema. We would get inspired by a lot of ‘em. We played the games they did, tried out the sports, and picked up similar traditions.

One day, during a rare, hot English summer, I suggested starting a lemonade stand. My brother reacted with, ‘lemons are too tart! No one even likes sour drinks. I don't want to sell rotten lemons,' and I would remind him that you can turn a sour lemon into a sweet delight with a little bit of sugar. Shit, you should've seen his face when I ended up persuading him and he tried our first attempt at a batch. We got the measurements so wrong!”

His eyes shone as he spoke. He seemed to have been slowly opening up. Laughing into his hand and playing it off as a scratch to his face before dropping it to the table's surface. He was earnest as he told of his boyhood. Intriguing you with his storytelling, and leaning toward him as he continued on.

"Anyway. He would tell me that I'm like the sugar. That I make things better. But frankly, I can be a rotten arsehole to him. And by now, maybe he has forgotten about those silly childhood praises, but I never did. Those were the times, especially at the beginning of our career, when he made me feel wanted. He's good at that. He doesn't even require me to be the sugar in our brotherhood. He's naturally a genuinely good man.

I do need to tell myself I am useful, and deep down, I may not believe that to be all true. But he reminds me. He’s good at making people feel understood and cared for. He is true to his codename. He's a lemon, and everybody loves ‘em.”

Absentmindedly, you played with his finger twitching on the sticky table. He curled his hand properly around yours to hold.

———-

The hours passed and the diner went through waves of people. Coming and going, in and out, like clouds in unsettled coffee. Breakfast rush, stillness, then lunch chaos. To the both of you, the other was the focal point. Everything else just felt like a static buzz.

“I can't help but notice that you haven't asked the question. Basically the entire point of this morning."

"I didn't want to force it out," you finger at the sugar packets, like skimming a mini record collection. Attempting to downplay your interest. “I wanted us to get there without having to press it.”

A grateful hum of, “You are a peach," transitioned into a sigh, "but I suppose you deserve to know that I am a contracted assassin."

———-

It was only half past two in the afternoon when you both emerged from the diner. You made sure to avoid the eyes in the queue of the waiting patrons. The large tip, Tangerine thought he dropped into the checkbook unseen, should at least ease the hostess's agitation about your prolonged stay. You stand facing each other on the bustling city sidewalk.

The silence felt heavy after hours-long conversations. You studied each other. Your chance to fully take him in, in a different perspective, a new light. You were wary of how to leave this after the time you just spent together. The things he depicted. The part of himself that he had fanned out. He seemed to have bore it all. How do you grapple with that while having to part ways?

Tangerine didn’t keep you speculating. His handsome face sported a pleasant smile as he stepped forward to hug you. The embrace lasted only a moment, but it felt that he didn’t want to let go -

Like he was trying to hold you still. Keeping all those secrets that he poured out over the cooling cups of coffee between the two of you. Pressing them in close and sealing them behind tight lips. To him, when you walk out of his sight, you’ll take his story with you. The moment that he lets you go, the truth gets out. Exposed are all the mysteries on the inside and his safety. The scary reality is that he potentially jeopardized his and his brother’s lives to answer your curiosity.

Except, that was just your mind racing again. Tangerine's hug lasted for a minute and in a beat, he was pulling his shoulders back to look down at your face. And then he pulled you in for a kiss, the breath-stealing and tangling your hand in his hair, kind.

———-

The date with Tangerine was like an omen that you wouldn't be able to get the pair of assassins out of your life. Every day, something happened that would remind you of them. One of your little students would ask for a bandaid. You'd hear a song that played in the diner or a familiar theme song that Lemon definitely was humming. You’d find yourself grinning.

Little reminders would pop up here and there. Until one-half of the duo started turning up here and there when you’d least expect or anticipate it. It was a gradually natural formation of a budding friendship with Lemon and an eventual relationship between you and Tangerine.

Your romance with the latter was like any 2000s Rom. Com. daydream, except for the consistent reminders that you were dating a killer ——

Your boyfriend would show up unannounced with fresh flowers and a splat of blood on his neck peeking out from under his collar.

Written-out jokes from Lemon were handed over with a roll of his eyes but the ghost of a smile on his lips. Signaling that he has already heard the ridiculous gag that his brother came up with.

He’d be up early and missing in action during the day, but made up for it by staying late on date nights.

He always found time to call you between the sporadic periods of action while on the job. Just hoping to chat about your day so far or what he wanted to do to you later. Your mind runs with what exact situations he was calling in the middle of, whenever he was out of breath or your conversations were cut short with crashes and shouts.

You could sense when he exerted too much energy after those particularly long workdays. He tended to be quieter, or his body weight pressed impossibly closer on top of yours as his cock pushed in deep, or when Lemon would physically need to drag him into your apartment and throw him onto the couch.

Regardless of his fatigue, once you got each other going - either by massaging his sore neck, his rough thumbs grazing over your exposed thighs, or knee rubbing against his bulge as you bandage up a cut - He basically reverted back into stealth mode. Targeting his focus on only you. It felt like he existed to get you off. Wanting you to come on either his mouth, fingers, or pounding dick. He may have been exhausted but he wouldn't lose stamina until you were finished.

Nine times out of ten, whether after a hotel rendezvous or candle-lit dinner over a pack of instant potatoes and Kraft Mac and cheese, you’d find yourselves snuggled up in bed. You were always left stated after a good fuck from Tangerine. Hands, tongues, and whispers danced in the shared tranquility of your space. You were making special memories with the limited time you found with him.

———-

It went on like this for years. Each day felt like you peeled away another layer of a fruit's skin. Discovering a new trait or trick of your boyfriend's. You anticipated something exciting when he flung open the apartment door or your bedroom window. He never ceased to thrill and fulfill your every need.

And that one Tuesday in Spring was no different. He strode up to your car after class let out, seizing your waist from behind. A spin to your hips in his grasp had him close enough to breathe into your ear,

"Fly out to France with me, yeah?"

———-

[quitealotofsodapop]

Cicada Lily idea: Qi Xiaotian, the next day he goes to school after Bai He comes into his life, spends the entire day telling everyone he has a baby sister now.

Long Xiaojiao is both excited and jealous, leading to her asking her parents about having a baby sib.

(The Longs are now flashing back to Xiaojiao's poor rubbery egg.)

Xiaotian/MK and Xiaojiao/Mei were def kindergarden/pre-school besties. I could see this bring applied to canon and the other verses too.

I can see their interest being piqued because of a classmate showing off/bragging about their new baby sibling. Both go home that day and ask their parents about baby siblings.

Mei's parents are the type to sit her down and explain carefully that it was very difficult and scary for them to have her, and that a future bio-sibling is very unlikely. But that just means that they can save all their love for her! Mei is disappointed, but is content with her parents' explanation. Suppose she'll just redirect her big sister energy to MK.

MK is a very different story.

Pigsy and Tang (and SWK/LEM au dependent) are the types to change the conversation whenever MK's question about little siblings comes up. But MK is a determined kid and bugs his parents about it for weeks on. He even tries to seek outside help; praying to a shrine to Guanyin and writing it on his christmas list to see if the gods could help. His parents find it sweet, if a little concerning.

So in the "Cicada Lily au": when Tang comes home with baby Bai He in his arms, MK just starts *shouting* with joy.

MK: "It worked! I asked the Monkey King and it worked!"

He quickly has to be calmed down cus his exclamations are scaring the baby (and Tang whos still in shellshock at finding a baby in a box by the Monkey King's temple). And when his parents say that they need to give his brand new, gods-delivered baby sister to CPS so that they can see if she has any "real" family, MK has a full on tantrum. It takes him days to stop being mad at his dads.

Then one day, Tang kneels down and asks MK if he really, really wants to keep the "magic baby" as his baby sister. MK cuts Tang off mid-question with a "YES."

Cue Dadsy entering the room with the baby girl Tang found, now officially being fostered (adoption paperwork came later) and given the name "Bai He". MK has to cover his mouth to stop himself from shrieking with joy. His baby sister is so adorable! He covers her little pale face with kisses and promises that nothing will ever hurt her. Pigsy and Tang are adoring (and relieved) of their son's reaction.

MK 100% brags to Mei at school the next day about how he prayed to the Monkey King and how that led Baba Tang to find his baby sister. Mei is so gotdang jealous - she even tries asking her ancestors for a similar assist. XD

Wukong is extremely confused, cus he certainly hadn't a hand in the human baby's fate. But hey, his ward is a super-good big brother, so thats a bonus.

[blacktobackmesa]

Does Gordon view video games in a different way since he met the science team? I know in one of ur fics u mentioned that before- he'd tip the cartridges of games to make them glitch and I'd assume- mess with the NPCs. But now is he nice to all the NPCs in video games? Or rather, treats them like they're real? Does he feel bad when other players kill NPCs or glitch them for no reason other than "its funny?" Or is he still cartridge tipping sometimes lol

There are precious few games that behave the way his special copy of Half Life did/does. The odds that he will stumble across a copy of Lemmings that has thoughts and feelings is exceedingly low... but never zero. To stay on the safe side, if he ends up playing a game from some unverified source, you can bet he will be an absolute model citizen to the characters present until he is certain that nobody in there is sentient.

The Science Team will tease him about this. Gordon, buddy, Tommy read the wiki page before you started up this game, all this dialog is programmed behavior. You sweet bleeding heart. Start killing things already or Bubby's going to lose it

If he's sure it's a normal game, though? Generally he'll treat it like any other gamer. Speaking of Bubby, though-- he and Benrey are not any kinder to NPCs just because of where they came from. They love glitch hunting. Coomer and Gordon find it a little bit unsettling, but it's fine to let them both play God in a controlled environment.

[bunnis-monsters]

Ditzy puppy!hybrid reader and your yandere wolf hybrid!bf that is constantly worrying over his innocent little mate.

You’re always getting into trouble, needing to be saved and coddled. He loves his dumb puppy, but wishes you would be more careful.

Watching you tumble and hurt yourself breaks his heart, and he ends up buying you a lot of ice cream and gifts to stop your tears.

You are quite the spoiled pup, using your puppy privileges to get whatever you want, even if your boyfriend knows you’re not an actual puppy, he can’t help babying you.

Just don’t be surprised when he wants to keep you on his knot so you don’t go wandering off somewhere and hurting your pretty little self. You’re his mate, and he would be devastated if anything happened to you.

He’s quick to get you heavy and swollen with pups, it keeps you from leaving the house as much because walking is a chore.

He’ll nuzzle you and spoil you with sweet treats and new maternity clothes, just trying to keep you distracted from the fact you haven’t left the house in months.

He goes absolutely crazy over your pregnant body, unable to go a single day without mounting you. It almost feels like he’s trying to get you pregnant all over again while you’re carrying his pups. He can’t even wait until you give birth, he needs you!

And he just loves drinking from your plump, full breasts. They’re so heavy, he’s just helping relieve some pain. Your nipples are so swollen and sore, and he’s here to make it all better!

Just let him rut into your fat pussy while you’re nice and swollen with his pups. He’s such a good mate, why would you ever want to leave his side? You’re so clumsy, he’s just taking care of you! Don’t you want to be spoiled and treated like his little princess forever?

Just keep being his dumb little puppy, and he’ll take care of everything for you~

———————

YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @sunset-214 @avalordream @atransmuter @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @j3llyphisching @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @buckoothecow

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

heyyy. Just had a thought about what would tan would be like on reader's birthday but they aren't together. So readeranf the twins are friends so what kind of stuff would they get her. Feel like tan would get something really meaningful and sweet that is something that he must really listen to what reader says in general to know. And when he gives her it he's reaally awkward and a blushing mess cyz he's worried she won't like it and he's saying stuff like'you can return it if u don't like it' 'its a stupid gift so u probably won't like it'. Love ur stuff recently :))

my baby hi!! sorry this has taken me longer to reply to than I usually would. been a little busy last couple days!! I got a little carried away and I couldn’t stop coming up with things😭💌

TAN GIVING READER BIRTHDAY GIFTS.

but

this guy is so thoughtful that no one can tell me otherwise!! he's a good listener, especially when you think he's not paying attention AND he's got cash to flunk which helps aid his gift-giving abilities so so so...

he's a bit of a snooper, so if he sees a tab open on your laptop or computer and it's a shopping website, he'd quickly click on it and take a picture so that he can remember what it is. maybe he deletes the items from your cart so you can't buy them for yourself

if you and the twins are shopping, and tan sees you eye up something, he'd make a note to pick it up (he's come back in a few hours or next day)

it depends on what things you like - ie flashy designer gifts or gifts for things you need/ can't buy. but he doesn't want to disappoint you so he'd get you something within that category (in that safe sweet spot)

maybe he mistakes things, so if he thinks you like a certain candle scent, he'd get it for you in air freshener form, not knowing that you know there's a difference in the smells (hence why you've never bought it for yourself) so he thinks he's being sweet (he is) but you don't really like the smell, but he's so thoughtful that you say you love the scent name (that makes sense right?)

he goes overboard and definitely puts lem's gifts to shame (even though he got you perfect gifts (I feel like lem just knows what you want and like, and the presents have funny inside jokes))

he tries hard to find the balance between a friendly and romantic gift - not wanting to overstep that line 

maybe your washing machine broke? so he buys you a new one, but a model better than your one before. maybe you mention how your floor seems empty? so he buys you a rug to match your space (would probs ask lem for advice) maybe you mention how you're running low on a lip gloss you like? but he doesn't know the shade name, so he gets you all the shades in that brand/ line so you can pick and choose when you want (it's your go-to one and you have it out often, hence why he knows the brand - he can read the logo) clear, pinks, purples, reds, browns, oranges - he'd get them all 

maybe you mention how you want to liven up your bedroom to match the season? so he buys you new bedding with colours to match your room (again, he asks lem to help) maybe you had your eye on a pair of shoes or boots but they're way out of your price range? guess what? he's had them boxed up and in his wardrobe the whole time (ready to give you on your bday) maybe there's a foreign snack you like but it's near impossible to find? so you bet when he's away for work he hunts around the shops to see if he can find any. ALSO!!!!! if he can, he'd buy loads, like I mean loads and pay to mail them back home so he can give it to you for your bday (dying)

and when it comes to actually giving them to you, he's all nervy and anxious bc he doesn't want you to hate them, so he puts it out there that he's uncertain about what he got you (even though he knows he did a good job) ALSO he really really values your opinion!!! so he says things like "I got the receipt at home if you don't like it" "that one's stupid. I thought it was alright in the shop, but I dunno" "you're hard to buy for (lie) I'll get you better stuff at christmas (or whatever it is you do or don't celebrate)" “I won’t be offended if you swap it” (or return/ refund)

and the reason you have a slight scowl is not bc of the gifts, but bc of what he's saying. like they're PERFECT gifts and he's saying that they're not 

so you're like "how did you even know I wanted that?" and he says how he has his sources yadayada

he's such a cutie pie <3

[canti-laris]

pick a card reading: things with yourself now!

hello! this is my first pick a card and made two piles. feel free to comment and tell me how you felt.

1.

I see someone battling with their shadow side. You want to be with people and have some love, but at same time is quieting, pretending to not see the need of others. You don’t want to get with other people problems because you have a lot on your own. You think that being kind and gentle can be your downfall, that others will hurt you again; or that the world is a constant competition, that there’s not option than being egoistical. Confuse feelings, confuse thoughts. Is difficult to even enter your energy remain, you’re escaping something? Are you hitting some age that everything is deeply paralyzing and you don’t know what to do? Well, I hope things get better. If you want some advice: everything we give, someway find us. Do a good thing, choosing when to speak and when to shut up, compliment someone, doing a task you end up not getting any acknowledgement; the universe is watching. Think: maybe you’re a magical being; nobody said explicit to you but you have brightened someone’s day with your gentleness. Talk with yourself and accept the ugly parts, and then you can change them. Theres some burden you’re passing or will pass; things can get pretty tough but remember that you’re really strong and the roses are protecting you. Fighting!

“am I a monster or is this what it means to be human?”

Go to the beach, if you can. Or meditate with a body of water of some sort. Theres’s gold coins in your hand, share them and you will have more and more. Use heart shape sunglasses. Kiss the sun.

Media recommendation: the worst person in the world by joachim trier [movie] and solaris by stanislaw lem [book]

2.

That’s for my cold outside – sweet inside pile!

You have a cool style and aesthetic; maybe a beautiful hair and a thing with big earrings? I love all the colors and the images I’m seeing. But ok: you seem to be in a moment in your life where finally you kind of know who you are (at least for now, as we are constating changing). Take the pleasures that is given for you without afraid, wow. The confidence is irradiant here. For some of you: don’t get involved with people that already in a relationship, it can get you in a deep trouble and the last thing you want know is deal with it. Do you like flowers or have been thinking of do some art with them? They are so harmonious with you, especially the lilac and white flowers. Use of lavender if you get stressed. Protect yourself from the evil eye; happiness can attract jealousy of others. If you’re suspicion about something, I recommend investigate but be calm about. You seem to be a collected person, what a beautiful thing.

Try get involved with little projects of ceramic, I think you would like it. Pink and green appear all time here; are you thinking of changing your hair or your house color?

I know you’re in a confident moment in your life, but be careful to not overstep some things or people.

Media recommendation: pink + white by frank ocean [song] and little weirds by jenny slate [book]

[pluviisopibus]

Ask meme based on quotes from "That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Demon" by Kimberly Lemming.

Some are funny, some are sweet, some a little bit suggestive! They've been edited to work in the ask meme format.

I only have two things on my mind; cheese and how to get home.

Every scratch, every bruise, I will pay back in fire and blood.

That is so sweet but so unnecessary.

Oh, the troubles I go through for my wife/husband/spouse.

We don't need to have a ceremony or register with the church?

Darling, we burned down the church.

You don't remember?

Last night, you demanded we bring you cheese and then stated that you were the cheese queen/king/monarch.

[NAME], I can barely breathe when you are not near.

If anything were to happen to you...

If you left me to be alone again, these memories of you would kill me.

Hold on, did you just pull an entire bottle of liquor out of your pocket?

Who wouldn't want to go off on a grand adventure with a bunch of hot heroes also chosen by the goddess?

Me, bitches. No, thank you.

My love, I'd sooner kill everyone here to save you the embarrassment.

I could die from this.

They'll have to write "fucked into oblivion" on my tombstone.

Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die.

You can talk? And not just basic words, either. Like, rational spoken words?

I tend to save my mindless screaming for Tuesdays.

A fucking demon attacked me last night and the day had the audacity to shine as if nothing happened? Rude.

Know this, little rabbit: I make good on my threats, but I make good on my promises, too.

Intruders will catch these flames.

Who needs him/her/them? Or any man/woman/person!

Love is for people with not enough wine in their hands!

My trusted nose locked on to the smell of aged cheddar and the race is on!

Oh, my sweet, I wish you hadn't done that.

I'm going to make you my wife/husband/spouse when this is all over.

I mean, not what I would say to the person who just beat your friend with your other friend.

Live your best life, I guess.

You're just doing this for the giggles!

Are you that bored?

Go to the festival and get drunk like a normal person!

I'm damn near foaming at the mouth and you're acting like we're discussing Sunday brunch!

Honestly, I think you two need to bone.

Someone should put a warning sign on you- Abs for days.

Unfortunately for you, I am a little petty.

I am a strong, independent adult. I am absolutely not turned on by that!

That's fine, I guess. If you like people who keep their shirts on.

You may call me a demon, but you're the cruel party here.

Maybe you're not a straight villain. Maybe just villain-adjacent.

I can work with that.

Well, we just started our new lives as pirates.

You were just told we killed a goddess and that's what you grab on to?

The best solution is to do what any grown adult should do in their time of need: Run home to mommy and daddy.

I'm going to ruin you, little rabbit.

Contrary to what you might have been told, the sight of a quivering, crying person does nothing for my arousal.

Fuck it. Piracy.

Does this mean you've agreed to be my wife/husband/spouse?

No, you're still a rapscallion.

We have haunted the dreams of men since the time of the ancients.

The grandchildren of those who hurt me will weep at the sound of my name after I throw them in the pyre of my hatred and dance in the rain of their ashes.

[whumpbug]

Question for the Scarab Crew :D

How does each character act as A) a whumpee and B) a caretaker?

What's their pain response? Their fight or flight? How do they react to the idea that they need to be cared for? Are they fussy about it? Compliant?

How do they go about soothing another character? What's their experience in the area? What's their most common gesture of affection or comfort (making someone a warm beverage, putting their hand on their arm or shoulder, words of encouragement, etc)? Are they sweet and reassuring, or more of a tough love type? Or are they just a stressed awkward disaster

HI ANON!! this is another great question!! gonna answer all of them with each character at a time because it feels Right

hope you enjoy!!! HUGE shoutout to @lemlem21 for helping out SO much with these answers. lem is basically the scarabs' co-author atp

very long post incoming i apologize in advance

✮⋆˙

nieven:

as a whumpee: nieven hates being vulnerable. he's the captain, the leader, and the protector. how is he supposed to be those things if he's hurt? he's a bit grumpy and closed off when he's hurt, though, don't worry. he will get his time as a whumpee. TRUST me.

as a caretaker: in lem's words, he is Worried Dad™ his way of showing care is just being there. he sits at the bedside of whoever is ill with such diligence. he's a calming presence.

pain response: nieven can take pain like a CHAMP, except when it's anything to do with his horns. his horns are RIDDLED with nerve cells and pain receptors because they are an extension of his central nervous system. truly not a fun time.

fight or flight: fight. 100%. he's already lost his family once, he doesn't plan on it again. he will fight, even if it is at the expense of himself.

being cared for: similar to being a whumpee, he doesn't like the idea of the people he's supposed to be leading doting on him. it just puts a bad taste in his mouth.

soothing: nieven's only experience in soothing people has been his own child (that passed during the attack that killed his family), so he's very much a physical touch soother. he'll rub their back or shoulder or caress their hair, little things like that

✮⋆˙

hari:

as a whumpee: hari is kind of unserious. when it comes to being a whumpee. he's so used to being a whumpee because of his health issues that he just kinda jokes about it because what else is there to do?

as a caretaker: he's unserious but in a different way. he tries to make whumpee laugh to take their mind off of how they're feeling (when it's appropriate of course) and he also will sometimes make self depreciating jokes to lighten the mood

pain response: hari is used to pain. he can hide his chronic pain, or allergies, or anything like that with ease because he's been doing so all his life. that being said, inflicted pain makes him flinch like crazy. hes kinda a baby about it.

fight or flight: flight. he's a medic and an engineer, without him the team is kind of screwed. best to get as far away from the situation as possible

being cared for: he fusses a little bit. he gets frustrated because yes, he knows he'd "fragile." that doesn't mean he's a child. he hates being treated like one.

soothing: he's gentle and sweet. he will do his best to lighten the mood, but if that's not possible, he just whispers reassurances and does his best to use his medical knowledge to make the person as comfy as possible!

✮⋆˙

nyla: (going to answer the chronic pain question with this one too. short answer, yes she has chronic nerve pain in her wings)

as a whumpee: she doesn't try to make a big deal of it, but she won't outright refuse care unless it's specifically her wings. for normal ailments, she'll fuss a tiny but but ultimately relent. for her wings, she isolates completely. she doesn't want anyone seeing the source of her shame.

as a caretaker: she is very doting and sweet! she's kind of nuturing in a way and shows her love through food. she'll cook the favorite food of whoever's hurt and sit with them and braid their hair and comfort in any way she can!

pain response: if it's something surface or typical, like a headache or soreness or a broken bone, she'll complain and seek out comfort. if it's something to do with her chronic pain, she locks herself up in her room so no one sees her in such a state. she usually cries.

fight or flight: flight (no pun intended). she's always the first to the ship so that she can pick up the others and they can make a run for it

being cared for: again, if its for something simple, she'll let herself be taken care of if the team insists. if it's a pain flare-up, she gets very pissy when people approach her but its because she's hurting so bad

soothing: like i mentioned before, she loves to cook for others! she has a little notebook of everyone's favorite foods so she can make it for them on special occasions!

✮⋆˙

zel:

as a whumpee: don't be surprised if someone gets bitten. she is pushing people away with every ounce of strength she has left. in her culture, if you need help patching yourself up, it is HUMILIATING. she is Not a fun patient.

as a caretaker: very very much tough love. she's not naturally very caring and soft, so she gets a little awkward, and that awkwardness defaults to aggression. she means well, though and truly believes her approach will help whoever's down.

pain response: no reaction, unless it is a severe injury. if she can't help a wince or grimace, she quickly schools her face back to normal because that is what she was trained to do. she was trained to withstand and endure.

fight or flight: don't think it needs to be said for her but fight. her first move is to fight until she thinks there needs to be a tactical retreat, but even then she'll fight all up until everyone's safe.

being cared for: nope. don't touch her. she gets very pissy when people start to look at her with pitiful looks because no, she's not weak, she could take all of the crew members in a fight and win and she does Not need people fussing over her.

soothing: again, she's hopelessly awkward. her method of soothing is the silent reassurance that anyone who tries to bother whoever is upset or hurt is getting stabbed. shes protective like that.

✮⋆˙

vinny:

as a whumpee: usually doesn't outright refuse. they try to assure caretaker that they can handle it themself, because they want to be seen as independent. they want to meet everyone's expectations. they don't want to show how much they really enjoy being doted on.

as a caretaker: a bit awkward but very well meaning! often distracts whoever they're taking care of with fun facts and trivia because that's all they really know to do. they're dilligent and willing to get any food or blankets or anything the person needs.

pain response: hisses, flinches, pants, and backs away. very cat-coded. they don't handle pain very well, and tend to kind of close up when in it.

fight or flight: freeze. vinnie startles and just freezes and their mind goes a bit blank. they're a scribe, they don't see too much action in the field, so when they do they have no idea what to do.

being cared for: yes please i mean they hate it. duhhh. they're not a child, they don't need anyone to look after them of course. they can handle it. you don't have to stay by their bedside, they're fine. obviously.

soothing: like nieven, their soothing is done in mostly a protective way. they'll sit by the person's bedside with the guise of telling them random facts, but really they just want to make sure they're alright.

✮⋆˙

ren:

as a whumpee: scared. scared and confused and ready to run away at a moment's notice because being hurt means he's vulnerable and he can't be vulnerable again. he can't go back.

as a caretaker: disastrous. usually, the person hurt has to end up comforting him a bit (with the exception of when he's using his healing abilities). he has no idea how to take care of people beyond using his abilities.

pain response: he tries to be strong, but cmon. he's little. he cries and weeps and sobs. then scampers away from whatever was hurting him and goes into panic mode

fight or flight: flight flight flight. flight and HIDE. make himself as tiny as possible and as unseen as possible and maybe the threat will go away.

being cared for: he's very weary of being cared for. he's half-convinced that when people care for him, it's for some ulterior motive and his instincts won't let him let his guard down. he's always on edge.

soothing: again, very skittish and awkward. he usually takes to sitting with the person and waiting patiently and anxiously until they need something. he's VERY dilligent in that sense. he just needs something to do.

✮⋆˙

HOPE THIS ANSWERED YOUR QUESTIONS ANON!! THIS WAS FUN AND THANK YOU AGAIN LEM U ARE AWESOME!!

[coulsons-fullmetal-cellist]

Baking for the Devil in the Big White Tent

(Dieter x horror loving female)

Words: 787

Summary: Dieter discovers a show you love that isn’t a horror

Warnings: Dieter being Dieter, lots of sweets, I know in America it’s called The Great British Baking Show but I’ve always known it by it’s original title

Check out masterlist here

You approached your boyfriend, mug of tea in hand, with a question you weren’t sure how he would answer. Sitting down next to him on the couch, you nervously asked him.

“Dieter, a show I like has just started a new season. Do you mind if I watch it now?”

“Is it a horror one?”

“No.”

“Then go ahead.”

Sighing in relief, you pressed play and Dieter snuggled up next to you, wondering what sort of non-horror show would have your interest.

“What is this show?”

“It’s The Great British Bake Off.”

“Wait, I know this show. Isn’t this some horror thing where they trap people in a tent, and they don’t let them out until they bake stuff for some blue-eyed devil?”

You tried not to gawp in confusion. “When you put it that way, it is a bit of a horror. But no, Bake Off isn’t a horror.”

“It’s not?”

“No, it’s a wholesome British show. Although it does get stressful when literal cracks start to form in cakes.”

Suddenly Dieter jumped up on the couch in fear. “Ah! That’s him! The blue-eyed devil!”

“That’s Paul Hollywood,” you explained but Dieter continued making the sign of the cross with his hands. “Were you sober when you watched this?”

“Not exactly,” Dieter stopped his attempt at exorcism and went back to snuggling.

You gave Dieter a running commentary as he looked at the screen with both fascination and confusion.

“Every week has a theme. The first week is always cake. There’s always someone who likes to experiment with exotic flavours. Last year was all miso.”

“Me so hungry.” That joke got a friendly little nudge from you.

“Every week there’s three challenges. This one is the signature challenge.”

“Is there a big prize at the end?” asked Dieter.

“Not really.”

“No $10,000 cash?”

“No, it’s just some nice plate thing. And bragging rights”

“Huh,” he mused. “That’s different from most American shows.”

“It is. It’s so much less cut-throat as well. Everyone is so nice on here.”

“I love all their accents! I’m going to have to try them.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. “I don’t know how I feel about these bakers. I had so many favourites last year. I mean, they had Jurgen.”

*****

“Now the technical is when the bakers have to make something, but they don’t give them the complete recipe.”

“Why would they do that?”

“To test their baking skills. Then the judges blind tastes them.”

“I’d like to do that. Seems fun.”

“Not when things are underbaked.”

“I’d still eat it.”

“So now it’s the showstopper. This is when they have to do something impressive.”

You gripped his arm tightly as bakers rushed in the last five minutes, trying to put their bakes onto their stands.

“This is so tense,” said Dieter. “Now I know why you like this show.”

As the Star Baker was announced and the leaving baker was surrounded in hugs, you untangled yourself from your boyfriends embrace and got something from the kitchen.

“Bake Off puts me in a serious baking mood so I made a little something.”

“Wait, you have freshly baked goods in the house, and you didn’t tell me?”

“Well I know you’d scoff the lot,” he hmphed in agreement. “Before I had a chance to explain what they are.”

You pulled the lid off the container and Dieter looked in. He gazed at sponge cakes which were dipped in chocolate sauce and sprinkled in coconut.

“These are lamingtons.”

“Are they those things that jumped off the cliff in that Disney film?”

“They what?!”

“No wait, that’s Lemmings. And they were thrown off a cliff which is messed up and created that silly myth.”

Your confusion was delayed by Dieter putting a piece of coconut covered cake in his mouth followed by the appropriate moan of delicious delight.

“So will you be doing more baking?” he eagerly asked.

“Oh there will be lots more baking. Next week is biscuit week.”

“So biscuits and gravy?”

“No, it’s what the British call cookies. And what you call biscuits is what they call scones and they have them with jam and cream.”

He avoided thinking about it by taking another bite, it was a tasty distraction. “Would you ever go on the show?”

“Me? On Bake Off? Oh gosh no. I just bake for fun. Putting me in a competition will stress me out to no end,” he nodded in agreement. “But they do have a celebrity version for charity. It’s a lot less stressful.”

“And you’d be on that?”

“Oh no, I don’t think I’m famous enough. You might be good on it.”

“Dieter Bravo on The Great British Bake Off? As if.”

Lovingly tagging @boliv-jenta @simpingcowboy @ellenmunn @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @brilliantopposite187 @chaithetics @myloveistoolittle @cevans-is-classic @glshmbl @cupcakehp

[openheartfanfics]

Ethan x F!MC: Pure Fluff

One Shots A - 1

A Birthday To Remember - @choicesfanaf   Ethan attends Arundhati's birthday party.

A Cheesy Halloween Story - @jerzwriter 👻 Ethan refuses to be Mickey to Casey’s Minnie. But when it’s Bryce to the rescue, he’s none too pleased. Feat. Sienna and Bryce

A Christmas Elf - @genevievemd 🎄 Gen surprises Ethan at the hospital with lunch... and their 4 month old daughter dressed as an elf!

A Christmas Meeting - @trappedinfanfiction  🎄 It's finally time for Ethan and Celia to celebrate their first Christmas together. It'll also be the chance they need for Ethan to finally meet her family

A Christmas Miracle - @drethanramslay 🎄 Leah has a very important gift for Ethan this year.

A Conversation With His Father - @genevievemd  While visiting his father, Ethan comes to a realization. Feat. Alan Ramsey

A Crash With Fate - @trappedinfanfiction Ethan has a bad day, a surprise encounter might turn it into a better one.

A Cure for Homesickness - @choicesfanaf   Ethan makes a delicious meal for Arundhati.

A Day at Home - @potionsprefect  Ethan spends a day with his kids whilst Victoria works.

A Day in the Life - @blazerina

A Day Off - @lucy-268  The competition for best intern and the spot on the diagnostics team is underway.

A Day to Ourselves - @mrsbhandari They have a picnic date.

A Day to Remember - @trappedinfanfiction   It’s their big day, and with that comes nerves.

A Dance In The Moonlight - @bex-la-get Natalie and Ethan share a moonlit dance.

A (Finally) Quiet Night At Home? - @lucy-268   MC curses in front of their children and hopes Ethan steps on a lego.

A Family Day - @jerzwriter Kaycee and Ethan introduce baby Emma to some of her mother's favorite things.

A Happy New Year - @takeharryandgo  🌟 New Years at Donahue’s in Book 1 and pre Miami. Feat. Harper

A Hawaiian Prank - @potionsprefect He thought it was going to be a relaxing break.

A Home With Love - @potionsprefect After a bad day at work, Ethan cannot wait to get home.

A Letter to My Love - @potionsprefect The night before their wedding, Ethan and Victoria pen a letter to each other.

A Little Delay - @jerzwriter  It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, and Ethan is marveling at how much his life has changed... and how much he wants to do with Celia... but then, things take a not-so-sweet turn.

A Little Holiday Cheer - @jerzwriter 🎄 It all started at Ethan & Merida's place, so it's only fitting that we go back there again! Feat. Bryce x F!OC, Ethan x F!MC, Tobias x F!MC

A Love Like This - @genevievemd  (2.17) MC questions whether or not she made the right decision with Esme and Ethan is there to offer advice.

A Lunch Break Observation - @ambraambrose   Ethan observes the new cohort of interns and forms his opinions. Set in book 1.

A Merry Christmas - @takeharryandgo  🎄 A fluffy little Christmas fic featuring our favorite doctor and intern.

A Moment for Cuddles - @ethanramseysrookiexox  🎄 After Christmas dinner, Ethan and Charity enjoy a cuddle

A Moment of Peace - @genevievemd  In which Ethan comforts Gen.

A Moulin Rouge Birthday - @tveitertotwrites   It's Claire's 30th birthday and the gang has a Moulin Rouge Broadway themed party.

A New Era - @genevievemd  Gen and Natalie head to the ERA's tour, then make a startling discovery. Feat. Bryce Lahela x F!OC

A New Life - @potionsprefect  Luke and Lily are welcomed into the world.

A New Team Member - @storyofmychoices   Ellie tries to hire a new team member for the diagnostics department.

A Night At The Movies - @takeharryandgo  Ethan runs into Meredith at the Classics on the Common movie night. Set in book 1, Ch 8

A Night at the Opera House - @lucy-268  Ethan wants to stay home, but Charley wants to go to a charity gala. They are going, obviously.

A Novel Concept - @jerzwriter  Ethan Ramsey is in the dog house. It's apparently clear, and his buddy, Tobias, comes in with an assist. Feat. Tobias Carrick

A Perfect Christmas - @lem-20  🎄 Casey asks Ethan to spend Christmas day with her

A Place to Call Home - @coffeeheartaddict2   Ethan and a pregnant Casey move into their new apartment in the seaport district.

A Place To Call Home - @potionsprefect  Victoria and Ethan make a house a home.