#surprise! it's the class system!
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Hi I have a class question! Is there a significant difference between The Weasleys and Mundungus when it comes to class? Molly seems to have a negative opinion of him that feels partially class based (along with the whole irresponsible leaving Harry thing).
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
the weasleys' class-background is actually one of my personal favourite examples of a culturally-specific thing in the series which i imagine goes over the head of many non-british and non-irish readers...
they are members of the wizarding upper classes.
this is because - while financial circumstances are relevant when it comes to how class groups are delineated - they're not everything. aspects of class performance such as educational background, social circles, naming conventions, language use and accent, and familiarity with social convention and cultural reference points all play as much of a role in marking out somebody's class than their finances do - and, in britain, i think it's arguable often play more of a role in doing so.
in terms of all of these things, the weasleys [and the prewetts] are meaningfully no different from the blacks and the malfoys, hence ron being the narrative mirror of draco malfoy and arthur being the narrative mirror of lucius, and hence sirius stating in order of the phoenix that he, molly, and arthur are all related.
they represent archetypes found in lots of british children's literature [think the mortmains in i capture the castle or the fossils in ballet shoes] - families which are, in terms of the non-financial aspects of class, part of the elite, but whose financial circumstances don't match up at all to their social ones.
mundungus - in contrast - is straightforwardly working-class. you can tell because of his accent, his crude nickname ["dung"], his lack of "polite" behaviours, the fact that he's impulsive and led by his base appetites, the fact that he's a criminal - but not a sophisticated one, the fact that he exists outside the social ties which bind the rest of the order, the fact that he almost certainly didn't go to hogwarts, and the fact that every aspect of his physical description makes him sound like a dickensian caricature.
molly's dislike of him is therefore enormously connected to social class - not least because she's the weasley [along with percy] who seems to agree with the wizarding class system the most.
[hence why her narrative mirror... is the ultra-conventional narcissa.]
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i cannot emphasize enough how much my entire academic situation is currently hinging on receiving an email from one (1) person
#quil's unholy underworld#i emailed her a couple weeks ago but like. that was summer so i wasn't surprised to have no response#but i would've expected to hear from her in the past week. since the class is a special situation. and that's what she's done in the past#and now i'm like. please. the class on the schedule starts TOMORROW#i need to know if that is correct. OR. if like the other semester. this one starts a week late#AND if it's actually t tr or if it should me m/w in the system#which THEN impacts this OTHER thing that is really crucial#if it's for sure t/tr#i need to fill out a form explaining why i still can't take this other required class#which is marking me in the system as 'failing to make academic progress'#literally one class one credit hour.#that i have been unable to take purely because of these classes#and I need to petition them to be like hey. i'm actually do a whole shit load of stuff this ONE class is an outlier#but if it's m/w. then I need to resign up for that class. and drop another one#and then i WON'T have to petition#SO PLEASE FUCKING EMAIL ME ALREADY
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Man it really just hit me that if the Shadow Dragons existed in a modern our world city just how fast the magisterium and mass media would be out there propagandizing and pushing the narrative that the Shadows are dangerous terrorists who want to overthrow the state (and probably speculate that they intend to implement all kinds of terrible reforms that threaten only the powerful should they succeed). The plight of the resistance.
No doubt the Magisterium on the whole and the Venatori ARE pushing a narrative like that across Tevinter. Probably what your Average Antivan or Nevarran knows about the Shadows IS the propaganda. (Dangerous, Looking to impose their own views on the People of Tevinter by force).
Part of the struggle for Resistance Fighters IS how consolidated and interconnected systems of power are and what that means for how people understand them. Even the Shadows Allies like Dorian or Legatus Mercar aren't doing so openly. The Shadows are dangerous to be affiliated with. The heat Rook takes on the Nesus job probably got them branded the lore appropriate equivalent of domestic terrorist. There is undoubtedly a price on Rook's head in Minrathous. The stakes for any Shadow in getting identified are Very High.
I think if we really saw much of Minrathous outside Dock Town the reaction to the Shadow Dragons would be very different. Rook would probably be very on edge about being recognized.
Rook is infact probably very politically inconvenient for the Mercar family, even if the Mercar's agree with them entirely because of how much resisting oppression from within a system of power is a game of optics.
#is the thesis of this post a little bit that t*rrorist is a meaningless words systems of power throw around use to maintain the status quo?#Maybe.#I think they tried to keep the factions a little too palatable for this to properly be explored but man the Shadows hold potential for some#very pertinent sociopolitical commentary#also the antivan crows being like oh yeah we know the shadows they're really great at kill venatori. we respect that.#very funny 10/10#rook mercar#shadow dragons#datv#datv meta#dragon age the veilguard#Rook being so in love with their home and people and being effectively cut off as a result of expressing that love#bc what is resistance if not an act of love#Rook ranting about class consciousness and praxis late at night in the lighthouse is so real to me#this is part of why sd rookanis goes so hard for me actually bc Lucanis kind of gets it in his own way#he see's the harms of the system and bends the rules to do what he can to help#he's not quite ready to throw a brick at a templar but i think he can readily see where the shadows are coming from#which is surprising in someone of his level of wealth and social standing (crows are influential in antiva and tge 1st house especially)#there's a lot to navigate in their dynamic#the way he says fuck the job to help the slaves and tips servuce workers well is hot actually#these tags really got away from me
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My irl friends (we’re not out as a system to them) like to joke about me being my source because I look so much like it…. Sometimes they’ll just call me by my actual name and not the body’s name as a joke and I’ll just freeze like “HOW DID YOU KNOW-
Oh that reminds me of how our hair in real life looks very similar to Simon Petrikov’s! It makes cosplaying him easier, haha. =)
#I can imagine not being out to them but calling you by your name to be so surprising!#Ah it reminds me of the days where we were out to our college friends and they would guess who was fronting.#It was cute and sweet.#‘Chara!’ ‘Oh how did you ever figure it out?’#‘You have this dark aura when you walk in a room.’ Hahaha Real quote.#It was a cute game to play with singlets: We walk in a room and after class they would guess.#Peter (in our system) had the most excited reaction to whenever they would get it right.#But it is easy with Peter. He talks so young and boyish. Emphasis on boyish.#Ask#Anon#From Chara
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critical thinking is taught in literature and/or philosophy classes you're just usamerican
king i think you might be the one lacking reading comprehension skills i'm a philosophy undergrad, i was raised in iran, i live in the UK where we ARE taught to think critically, have never once been to the usa, and i'm talking from my own perspective as an asian person combined w that of all my peers from diff asian countries who all have had the same experience/perspective on this . if you read the tags on that post i say clearly that i'm iranian :)
#asks#anon#im sorry being called USAmerican was not on my bingo card this is so funnyyyyy#in a lot of asian countries our systems of education are based on memorisation rather than actually analysing and dissecting and THINKING#in farsi literature class i had to just memorise/recite old poetry etc. my friend who went to school in hong kong#says the same . my indian friend had a similar experience. in maths we just learned formulae or processes for answering questions#algorithmically. once i moved to the uk i was baffled and pleasantly surprised that A) i didnt have to work like 6-8hrs on homework every#day and B) that we were told WHY things were the case as well as the fact that they are. if we asked why we got an answer.#i think u may be deeply ignorant on this anon ngl
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#i want to discuss problems w soc media activism but the irony of getting dogpiled by soc media activists will be too annoying to bear lol#anyway it seems like social media only draws attention to problems that westerners think they can solve by posting on their instagram story#but raising social awareness only works for social issues. tangible issues require lots of work and money over a long period of time#meanwhile financial systems/systems of power are getting further and further out of general society’s control#there are dudes (one guy. just one man.) with more money and assets than entire nations#none of this is to say that raising awareness is bad or ineffective but it gives ppl a false sense of security#like i’ve done my part 🧍♀️👍 i changed my instagram profile picture! the world is saved#nah girl…. you gotta put your money where your mouth is. oh you don’t have money? me neither. don’t be surprised when nothing changes#social media is trash. now class warfare on the other hand…. now we’re cookin#soc media is rich in words but poor in actions. everyone’s a preacher but who’s collecting alms?#my eternal gratitude to everyone taking thankless actions#rant
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Listen I'm about anti-natalist as you can possibly get but like if you'd learn pedagogics and it's history and realise how much of it was invented by Men maybe you'd understand a lot about why our education system is the way it is
#terfs do touch#personal#radbrl#like listen I'm not saying women are inherently better than men at teaching or rearing kids of course we aren't#but like#overwhelming amount of pedagogical theory and methods were invented by men#men who literally were not interested in their own children's entire existence#men who let their wives raise their 13th child as they die from pneumonia as they write another one of their books#titles something like Children have Literal Devils in them and Here's How to Hit them so they become Normal (pedagogics)#men who are as far divorced from the reality of child rearing as one could possibly be#and men who are then surprised their children act like children and not Baby Sized Adults#like undoubtedly there's more to it there's even religion and Christianity mixed in and class issues and more#but at the core of it you look at the authors of all the methods that boil down to 'hit that baby' and it's men. men of all nations cultures#periods classes etc#wonder what that means for our current educational system and women who are demonized for working for it
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So I've been reading this fic for four days, right? And it's roughly 268k?
That's around 67,000 words a day, not even counting how many other much smaller fics I've been reading all of this time.
I must make every literature oriented teacher so proud yet aghast
#fanfiction#oh they're probably happy someone's reading so much#tbh I've always been Reading Georg when it comes to books#i got yelled at ☆so much☆ as a kid for reading in class#also we're gonna ignore my beef with the education system where they make learning boring#learning is literally so goddamn fun and theu suck all of it out#does it surprise you guys that i was the kid who hated homework yet loved tests#just wow look at how many words that is
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i don't think it's appropriate for me to really speak much as to the current shortages of adderall and other medications associated with treating adhd but i feel like i should.
yes these medications are abused, but no one wants to look into why someone who doesn't have adhd would take it. why do you think some supposedly neurotypical college student elbows another who has adderall and asks for some to study for an exam worth half their grade?
the DEA is out of touch with american society to the point it still thinks marijuana is a C1 drug but doesn't want to declassify it to C2 so that the process can be overseen so people don't get their marijuana accidentally laced with something else. you'd sooner prescribe someone a blood thinner than a medication that would actually help them focus, but i guess that's not up to me.
it's ridiculous. maintenance medications shouldn't be held to this degree of scrutiny.
#kind of off topic but im still pissed about the unit they had in my pharmacy tech program where theyre like#“top ten reasons someone might be swindling the pharmacy for controlled substances! number one will surprise you!”#why the fuck do you think it's happening in the first place#do you think we're that stupid? i mean maybe my whole class was but i just sat there in that unit absolutely baffled#“if they dont have insurance thats suspicious!”#no its fucking not people dont get insurance nowadays thats how it is#do you live in the 1950s or something#this is just a way for adhd people to act like how you want them to why are you making it harder for them#ive never been more furious than i am right now honestly#fucking hate the american healthcare system and i hate the dea#.txt#long post#?#i havent made a post in years on here lmfao sorry
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wait how bougie was Tom Riddle Sr.? How nice would his Manor have been? Was he like an actually Lord with a title and stuff?
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
in half-blood prince, dumbledore refers to tom riddle sr. as "the squire's son" - which allows us to state with certainty that he was a minor aristocrat.
however, the word minor is important here.
there are - historically - two levels of aristocracy in britain. the first are the peers of the realm - which refers to families which hold one or more of the titles of duke, marquess, earl, or viscount. these are the elite of the elite - these gradations of nobility were created in the middle ages as a way of distinguishing those who held the titles from other noblemen, usually because of a close relationship [often one of blood or marriage or both] to the king.
the titles are hereditary by male primogeniture, and the holders - while this is no longer the case - used to have political power [such as the right to sit in the house of lords], simply by virtue of their birth.
[this is why they're called "peers" - it refers to them historically being close in status to royalty, and therefore expected to serve as royal advisors.]
there is another class of peer - a baronet - whose title is similarly hereditary, but whose position doesn't come historically with the right to sit in the lords or advise the king by virtue of birth. [baronets may - of course - have been members of parliament, or royal advisors selected at the king's discretion, but this would be separate from their title. a duke, in contrast, could historically expect to request a meeting with the king simply because he was a duke.]
while some families have historically been ennobled at the king's discretion, access to any of these titles is pretty much restricted to the small group of families who've held them for centuries.
but below the peers of the realm, there is a second, more minor class of aristocracy, the landed gentry - of which a village squire is a textbook example.
historically, what is meant by "landed" is an ability to live off of the rental income of one's country holdings, which would be leased to tenant farmers. that is, they are landlords in the original sense of the term - lords of the land. this is what tom sr. tells us his family does in half-blood prince:
“It’s not ours,” said a young man’s voice. “Everything on the other side of the valley belongs to us, but that cottage belongs to an old tramp called Gaunt, and his children. The son’s quite mad, you should hear some of the stories they tell in the village - ”
what is also meant by "landed" is that the family in question is of the upper-classes, but that they are still "commoners" - which in this context doesn't imply a value judgement, but which is a socio-legal term which simply indicates that they don't hold an aristocratic title such as duke, earl etc.
[and gentry families certainly aren't common in terms of financial standing... the most famous member of this class in literature? fitzwilliam darcy, whose ten thousand a year is something like thirteen million quid in today's money...]
gentry families might be very old - they might have received their lands from the king in the middle ages as a reward for knightly service, and it's interesting to imagine generations of gaunts and riddles brought up alongside each other in little hangleton - or they might be comparatively newer - tom sr.'s great-grandfather [feasibly born c.1810] could have been a self-made victorian industrialist who bought the lands from the original holder and established himself as gentry.
by 1900, it was becoming much harder for the gentry to live on rental income alone, and many would also have had jobs. these would have been elite, and very frequently were in politics, the civil service, the military, or the law. tom sr's father - whom the films call thomas, so let's go with that - might, for example, have served as a high-ranking officer in the army [including during the first world war], be the local magistrate, or be the local member of parliament.
in terms of titles, thomas riddle would almost undoubtedly be sir thomas - and this is how it would be correct to address him. but this title would be a courtesy, and it wouldn't be hereditary unless the riddles were also baronets [which it's entirely plausible that they were].
which is to say, tom sr. would not have a title while his father was alive - although he would have the right to be referred to formally in writing as mr thomas riddle esq. [esquire]. the correct form of verbal address for anyone other than friends and family would be to call him mr riddle, although the riddles' servants would probably refer to him as mister tom.
tom jr. would not have a title while his father or grandfather was alive. if the riddles were baronets, he would technically inherit the title after he kills the rest of the male line... but given that tom sr. never acknowledged him and his existence was presumably unknown to the riddles' lawyers this wouldn't be something which happened in reality. the estate's executors clearly took control of the riddles' property, the land was portioned off and sold, and the house became a standalone property for sale.
the riddle house - which is a name used informally for it in little hangleton, it would have a different "proper" name - is described in canon in ways which show that it's a typical manor house, which means it would look something like this:
these houses are obviously very impressive, but they're tiny in size in comparison to the magnificent stately homes - places like blenheim palace, chatsworth, burghley house, holkham hall - lived in by the titled aristocracy. the riddles would entertain - for example - by giving house parties, dinner parties, hunting parties, etc., but they wouldn't have a ballroom or a dining hall capable of seating hundreds.
[they would probably also own a property - probably a flat or small house - in london.]
they would have servants, but not colossal numbers - they would undoubtedly have a butler but not footmen, and the upstairs maids would report to the butler since they probably wouldn't have a housekeeper. they canonically have a cook, who probably had one or two kitchen maids assisting, and they canonically have a gardener - frank bryce - who probably doesn't have any assistants. they may, depending on the size of the estate, have a gamekeeper. sir thomas undoubtedly had a secretary and a chauffeur, and his wife might have a lady's maid. tom sr. would have had a nanny and then been educated until at least the age of eight by a governess, but would then have attended a prep school [either day or boarding] until the age of thirteen, and then gone to a boarding school, from which he likely went on [on the basis of social class rather than talent] to oxford or cambridge.
the family would have enormous social influence locally. most people - and also businesses - in little hangleton would be their tenants, and they would also probably have a say over the appointment of the local clergyman [an important figure in the community in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries], since the parish church is likely to have been something called a "living" - the thing which turns up again and again in jane austen - which means that the church and its parsonage technically belongs to the landowner, but is granted to the vicar as a freehold while he's in post.
gossip about the riddles' doings would also be the main source of local interest - the servants were dining out for months on tom sr.'s elopement and return.
so they're something resembling celebrities - but they're local celebrities. nobody in london - and even nobody in cities we can imagine are nearer to little hangleton, such as liverpool - would particularly know or care who they were. tom sr. might have made it into the london gossip columns if he was part of a particularly scandalous "set" [a group of friends] who socialised in the capital, but these mentions would have been fleeting - and the press would have been much more concerned by the doings of members of his set who were genuinely titled or who were legitimately famous.
[this is the reason why mrs cole doesn't recognise the name. if merope had said her son was to be named cecil beaton after his father, she may well have been prompted to hunt him down...]
so tom sr. is elite - but he's elite in a way which is extremely culturally-specific, and which is [just like the portrayal of aristocracy in the wizarding world - the blacks, for example, are far less aristocratic than the riddles in terms of canonical vibe] often exaggerated into the sort of pseudo-royal grand aristocracy which the british period-drama-industrial-complex makes such a big deal of.
and tom jr.'s character is affected by this in a series of extremely interesting ways.
by which i mean that, in terms of blood, he's probably the most aristocratic character in the series - the absence of grand aristocracy in the wizarding world would mean that [were he raised by his father] he would come from a social background which was equivalent [even as it was divided from them by virtue of being muggle] to any of his fellow slytherins, and would help him easily blend into their society because the manners, genre of socio-cultural reference points [he would recognise, for example, that quidditch heavily resembles both rugby and polo], accent and way of speaking etc. that he would possess would be broadly indistinguishable from those of his pureblood peers.
[this is why justin finch-fletchley and draco malfoy speak in essentially the same way.]
but he would then be given the enormous boost in cachet - one which would genuinely elevate him above the rest of his cohort - of his maternal line.
and we see in canon that this does bestow some privilege on him among his peers while he's in school:
Tom Riddle merely smiled as the others laughed again. Harry noticed that he was by no means the eldest of the group of boys, but that they all seemed to look to him as their leader. “I don’t know that politics would suit me, sir,” he said when the laughter had died away. “I don’t have the right kind of background, for one thing.” A couple of the boys around him smirked at each other. Harry was sure they were enjoying a private joke, undoubtedly about what they knew, or suspected, regarding their gang leader’s famous ancestor.
where he's let down socially is that people like slughorn - to whom he can't reveal his slytherin ancestry and hope to maintain cover for his wrongdoing - don't think he's come from anywhere particularly special. this is because he has a muggle father - absolutely - but it's even more that he has a muggle father who, since he left him to be raised in an orphanage, was presumably working-class.
what the young voldemort lacks is any socio-cultural familiarity with the muggle class performance which the class performance of the wizarding world parallels. abraxas malfoy boasting about how important his father is would be something a tom jr. raised by the riddles could match - "oh yes, my father gives to all sorts of causes too. in fact, he was invited to buckingham palace because of it." - establishing himself as an equal in terms of class and social influence even if he isn't an equal in blood.
what actually happens in canon is that the orphaned tom - with his uncouth manners and his working-class accent - has no hope of gaining any sort of social equality with his posh peers.
so he becomes determined to outrank - and humiliate and control - them.
#asks answered#asenora meta#tom riddle sr#tom riddle#lord voldemort#surprise! it's the class system!
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yes the point of english in US schools is a media literacy class but also the content and quality of education in the US not only varies from school district to school district but from level to level (e.g. AP/IB/honors kids getting more respect and funding and quality education from teachers and schools)
#sometimes kids dont pay attention but surprise! also a flaw of the usamerican education system#yes it is silly kids dont know english is media literacy class and yes media literacy rates are staggering#but also genuinely the way children are treated and educated based upon their ability to meet district standards also affects shit#this is also why most ap/ib/honors kids are the most annoying adults out there#bc they were given opportunities other children were not & constantly told they were better and more upstanding than their peers#anyway#off my soapbox#education#media literacy
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"Were very sorry sir. The children thought your people were from the government."
A small DP/DC promp
Casper high is on a field trip in Gotham.
Danny is in the team with Tucker, Kwan and Dash as most of the time.
They have a picture hunt around Gotham.
After a while they notice strange people in white following them. White jackets, black ties.
As Amity park kids the of course thought, these were GIW agents they don't know.
Everybody knows Danny is having to much ecto in his system. They sometimes see his eyes change color. No surprise if you think of the Fenton Parents lap safety.
So as the people get closer and one of them grabs Danny's arm. Dash hits him before they can speak.
They got in a big fight.
Penguin gets called cause his Goons are fighting a school class.
Things calm down quick as Oswald came. The Teacher told them to stop.
As he was talking to Mr. Lancer the Teacher said:" The children are very sorry. They thought your Henchpeople were part of the Government."
Penguins Goons are also very sorry:" We thought it was a Wayne kid."
Penguin has also some Questions in his head like: why would high school kids get into a fist fight with the Government?
And why did the Teacher think that was a reasonable explanation?
#danny phantom#crossover#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny fenton#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#Dash#Kwan#Tucker#mr. lancer#School trip in Gotham#DC comics
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you can tell that my college's engineering building is aged because the bottom floors don't have women's restrooms. there's a women's restroom on the ground floor but not the bottom floors. or if there is a women's restroom it's so well-hidden it may as well not even exist
#it's kind of funny tbh because yeah i can see why they haven't put one in yet. not enough women enter this building#to justify putting a whole new restroom in.#see my university has 'business' and 'technology' bundled into the same college and when it comes to the major(s) the majority of the women#in this college fall under. it's business.#if women DO go into the 'technology' umbrella then statistically it's because they're either majoring in IT or IS (info systems)#(which is the tech major most closely aligned with the business department.)#CS? a handful of women. Cyber(.security)? if there's a woman in that major i would be genuinely surprised because i haven't met one so far.#<-i have them written weird so they hopefully don't go into the main tags for those things#i only go to the engie building for one computing class but i have seen a grand total of one woman in an actual engie class. so yeah.#i just like observing things tbh
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i hate sinus infections
#💭. mutters !#// I JUST GOT OVER A COLD LOKE NOT EVEN THREE WEEKS AGO HELP#// it’s from stress again fml/srs#// quotes from last years psych class: stress lowers the immune system by killing off certain antibodies/cells that you need to keep#// the immune system going#// i’ve had sm stuff so i’m not surprised i stressed myself sick again lol
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i think i just caught a colleague doing something wrong with a class i assigned him a couple of hours ago just so he could avoid teaching it and i'm shooketh with his audacity but i don't want to rat him out because the class will go back to me but really i'm completely baffled that he did it
#basically i take care of one type of classes in the school#and today many teacher took the day off to have a long weekend but the school still works normally#and bc of that we had to redistribute some of the classes so we're short on teachers for support#and this other type of class which is not my obligation to take care of has only three teacher in the evening#and two of them took the day off so they assigned classes to me today in this class#but i still have to take care of the other type of class#which at 8 pm has no one to look after today because everybody is already in class and the coordinators are already off#so i noticed that this one teacher from this other class was available#(they gave me TWO classes while he had only one.... how does that even made any sense??? anyway)#so i talked to my coordinator and suggested to assign this 8 pm class to the guy instead so i could keep an eye in my classes#since it's my job to take over classes in case any one need technical support and since there's no one today it's better if i were free#rather than in class and my coordinator agreed and told me to assign the class to this teacher and let him know - which I did!#and so i went to class and when i finished at 7 pm i noticed that the 8 pm class had 3 students down#and i was like????? bc students only have 2 hours to cancel a scheduled class#so it didn't add up bc just a little before 6 when i assigned the class to this guys THERE WERE 5 STUDENTS IN IT - i literally did it at on#so there was no way for THREE STUDENTS TO CANCEL A CLASS IN ONE MINUTE#funnily enough i toke notes of the students names and one of them had somehow contacted me so i had his phone number#which could help me find him in the system to check if there was any record of him talking to the school to cancel the class#AND WHAT WAS MY SURPRISE TO FIND THIS TEACHER SENT AN EMAIL TO THIS STUDENT SAYING THE CLASS WAS CANCELED!#another student had also been sent the same email and i was like WHAT?! but then 2 students still remained in the class i thought it was od#and what i noticed was that he left the students who hadn't attended their past classes so CHANCES OF THEM NOT SHOWING UP TODAY WERE HIGH#SO HE DEFINITELY DIDN'T WANT TO TEACH CANCELED THE CLASS OF SOME STUDENTS BUT LEFT THE ONES WHO MOST CERTAINLY WON'T SHOW UP#SO HE COULD BE FREE WHEN HE HAS NO OTHER RESPOSIBILITY THAN TEACH!!!!!!!!!#I'MHDJKSLLKJKSLÇDLFKLDSÇLLÇLD this is fucked up lmao
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DPxDC Danny Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
(not in a necessarily bad way and it's by Clockwork's design)
Bats, or Constantine, or the JL, or whoever you want to be close to Danny in this prompt, don't notice it right away. It takes them a while to figure out its not purely coincidence. And even after they do figure it out, they still have their doubts.
The thing is, it doesn't work all the time. It also doesn't seem to have a system or a schedule to it, nor is it any kind of a superpower, as far as they can understand. By God, does Danny have way too many superpowers, but most of them are consistent, and yet this one... is weird. Weirder than anything they've seen before, and they've seen a lot, okay.
It also only works if Danny does it without thinking.
"You know what'd be perfect right now? A cheese sandwich," Danny says over the comms, in the middle of the fight with Dr. Freeze, "A warm, grilled cheese sandwich just out of the toas- Owch, what?" There's a pause. And then, "Guys, you're not gonna believe it, a cheese sandwich just smacked me in the face! I think someone threw it out of the window or something!" Danny sounds bewildered, but excited, and there's a sound of chewing from his comm now. At least he is eating, so that's good.
"I fucking hate robots," he grumbles the other day, punching his way through the Brainiac invasion in Metropolis, with no comm and only for the Supes to overhear, "No, correction, I hate only evil robots. The ones that interrupt my astronomy class. The ones that shoot motherfucking lasers and walk like crabs, and ruin a perfect day, and- I wish- aw, fuck, no, that's bad wording. Don't wish for shit. But if all these robots would just suddenly, miraculously malfunction and stop attacking me and the whole city, that would be, like, real nice of them."
A few minutes later, something goes wrong with the Brainiac's control over the army of robots, and all of them just stop moving and fall down at once. It is deemed as a chance, a lucky shot, a coincidence. Supes keeps quiet over what he heard Danny say.
"Oh, you bitch-ass fruitloop, you know what I want?" Danny yells at Plasmius, as the ghost is laughing like a madman, "I want a fucking brick to fall down right on your head, like, right now! Maybe that can set your brains straight for at least five minutes!" And even before he is finished talking, there's something falling down from the sky and hitting Plasmius's head. It's not a brick, to be exact, it's Miss Martian's shoe, though. She has no idea how it even came undone and fell from her foot. But it did somehow knock Plasmius out cold, so there's that.
It doesn't happen all the time. Red Robin does the math - the improbable accidents only happen in about 26% of the situations, given that Danny says something. It's by no means a reliable power. It also doesn't happen only during the fights: there were numerous times when Danny just said something like 'I wonder if the cafeteria serves garlic bread today' and sure enough, there's garlic bread there. Even if it was not on the menu. Ever.
They try to question Danny himself, but he has no idea. He doesn't even notice the coincidences most of the times - which is not surprising, knowing that they only happen in one out of four situations and Danny is known to have a short attention span. So, after a few unsuccessful investigations and failed attempts at calculating how this even works, they all give up. It has never jinxed anything, as far as they know, so everyone just leaves it be.
Danny is just magically lucky like that.
Meanwhile, Clockwork is having a good laugh about it. Danny's suggestions amuse him, and it's funny to watch the other superheroes having a mental breakdown over it, so he rigs the timeline from time to time. Just a little.
#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#batman#superman#justice league#clockwork#danny is a lucky little shit#and yet he has no idea he is#or maybe he does and he just plays dumb in front of everyone#feel free to add your own improbable accidents caused by Danny#or just anything at all#cork prompts#prompt
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