#surely someone has come up with a similar shitpost

[averygayplant]

Nobody:

Literally nobody: Danny Phantom, every time a ghost appears:

[httpsserene]

𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐚 - 𝐥𝐧. 𝟒 (& 𝐨𝐩. 𝟖𝟏)

summary: you and lando are blessed with a beautiful baby boy. content warning: fluff, humor, slightly suggestive at times, and mainly crack/shitpost energy. reader owns & works in her bakery in monaco. images used are not mine. pairing: lando norris x fem!black!reader (& platonic oscar pastry) genre: smau & written fic combination (it's a longgg one)

author's notes: y'all i'm warning you i took it too far this time. it's long aslllll. but it might be the best thing i've ever offered to f1 tumblr in my entire career.

grab a snack, drink, and tuck yourself into a comfortable position xxx

join the taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents ↻

imessage • preseason 2023

That’s how you find yourself outside of the MTC in the mid-morning two days later. You’re mildly…exhausted, after commandeering the kitchen in Lando’s Silverstone flat to make a sickening amount of banana bread to feed all of McLaren. After tipping your Uber to the MTC double what the ride costs (for allowing you to stuff his car with a hundred pounds of your decadent treat and helping you unload them into the lobby), you’re greeted with warm welcomes and hungry eyes from the staff. Eager to eat, they’re quick to find you a couple of carts to help you move all the banana bread to the communal area. You’re walking backward to make sure none of your sliced loaves fall, smiling with all the workers as they follow you through the building. Setting up shop, you hand out your sliced banana bread, chatting and catching up with everyone as they sing praises over your sweet treat. Word travels around the MTC quickly when it comes to you bringing baked goods and it comes as no surprise to you when you see a perplexed and overwhelmed Oscar Piastri join the line. You’re bursting with excitement and anticipation by the time he’s picking up his slice.

“Thank you for the banana bread,” Oscar expresses softly, his smile boxy.

“Oh, of course,” you dismiss his gratitude lightly, struggling to keep your cuteness aggression at bay, “I’ve been doing this for the factory since Lando joined–and I figured it would be a good welcoming gift for you!”

“Wait–are you Lando’s girlfriend?” Oscar chokes on his bite of bread.

You rush forward to pat his back, ordering for someone to get him a glass of water; you would hate to be responsible for the death of Mclaren’s rookie driver. When his airways are cleared, you exchange proper greetings and you are quick to make sure Lando has been treating him well. 

“Honestly, I should’ve known it was you” Oscar chuckles, “Lando cannot stop talking about you. Zak had to establish a rule that only allowed him to mention you two times an hour.”

“That must have been rough for him,” you snort dryly, “the rule was five times an hour last year. Anyways, Oscar–who do you main on Mario Kart? This could make or break our friendship.”

You find yourself enamored with Oscar as the conversation goes on. He stands and keeps you company as you continue to hand out banana bread. It’s mostly you doing the talking; Oscar’s quiet, a man of few words but he listens well. He has a sarcastic sense of humor that is similar to Lando’s yet completely different: Lando’s jokes are loud, Oscar’s are hushed. He’s humble, shy even, flustering when you lightly tease him. You’re well past having Oscar as your friend—you’re convinced that he’s achieved little brother or son status.

“Banana Bread!” Zak shouts as he walks up to the two of you, Lando at his side, “Please tell me this is your homemade version?”

“I would never settle for store-bought banana bread,” you gasp dramatically, “It’s homemade as always, Zak. This time I did my grandmother’s recipe instead of my own.”

The CEO practically jumps with glee and rushes to grab a couple of slices–he’s only had this version of the dessert once, and swore it changed his life. Lando walks to you, pressing a kiss to your temple before nodding at Oscar.

“What do you think, love, “Lando hums to you softly, “Did he pass the test?”

You blink up at him and whisper, “I invited him over for dinner tonight—do you think we can use one of the printers here to print out adoption forms?”

bahrain • 2023

After qualifying, it felt like you and Zak were the only people in the garage who remained optimistic for race day. Lando was less than pleased with placing 11th; he parroted words of positivity and hope for improvement but in the privacy of your hotel room he crumbled. He buried his face in your neck muffling just how low his expectations for this season are. You tried to convince him it was too early in the season—the first race weekend—to make that decision but, he was too in his feelings to see reason. 

Oscar was disappointed in himself for placing 18th. When he took off his helmet after returning to the garage, you could see the doubt in his skills lingering through his eyes. You pulled him to sit with you as you continued to wait for the second session to begin and gently reassured him that this wasn’t an accurate representation of his skills; Formula One is a massive change from Formula Two. Oscar nodded at your reassurance but you could tell he was still freshly in shock at his “terrible” performance so your logical advice wasn’t believed. 

On race day, however, you found your positivity dip as well. Oscar DNF’d on lap 13 and rage filled the spot that optimism used to inhabit. The Australian was handling his retirement better than you were; he brushed off everybody’s apologies and went straight to reviewing his data and watching Lando’s race—you, however, wanted to snap at any of his mechanics that walked by. It wasn’t like Lando’s race was any better if you could call what he was doing a race. Slow pit stops, six pit stops at that, the fast lap gamble failure, finishing last, and being two laps down from the race leader…Zak took one glance at you and quickly made himself scarce.

You rode back with both of the boys to the hotel and nearly cried for them with how down the mood was. On the walk to your rooms, Oscar attempted to exchange goodbyes with you and Lando before you cut him off.

“Uh-uh, nope,” you shook your head, “I pre-ordered dinner for us. Come eat?”

Oscar stuttered, “O-oh? I don’t want to intrude–”

“Oscar Jack Piastri,” both he and Lando winced at the sound of his full name, “I’m not going to let either one of you go to bed on an empty stomach. You’re going to eat dinner with me and Lan and you’re going to drink several glasses of water so I can make sure you’re properly rehydrated. Understood?”

“I would love to have dinner with you guys,” Oscar blinked at you in fear, “Also, how do you know my middle name?”

You laughed as you unlocked the door, holding it open for both of the boys as you walked in, “I had a wonderful conversation with your mother, of course.”

“When did you meet my mom?!”

australia • 2023

You were on the edge of losing your voice as you screamed and cheered with Nicole Piastri and Adam Norris for both of the McLaren boys and their double points finishes. The two drivers finishing in the midfield felt like the team had figured something out for Oscar’s home race (if you ignored how almost half of the drivers retired their cars). The Piastri’s invited everyone to a local restaurant to celebrate Oscar’s first points in Formula One, but before you and Lando headed out, the two of you nearly lost your minds.

The two of you forced him to pose with his car and take several pictures with it, strongly suggesting that he smiles big and wide for the camera. Fernando and Lewis walked by and burst into laughter, claiming that you and Lando were treating Oscar like a child. So, obviously, the two of you committed to the bit. You guys cooed and called Oscar’s name, clapping and jumping to pretend like he was a toddler whose attention needed to be grabbed to have him look at the camera. The rookie cringed in embarrassment, cheeks burning red as he tried to convince you guys to stop making a fuss over him.

Lando gasped, sickened at Oscar’s words, “Oscar! How could you say such a thing to your mother and me? We only want to celebrate our boy!”

You nodded furiously in agreement, nearly breaking character at the dumbfounded look that rose to the Australian’s face.

“What the fuck,” Oscar blurted out, yet he continued to smile for your camera.

“Oh my god!” You said appalled, “Lando did you teach our son that foul language?! I told you not to curse in front of the baby!”

instagram • bakewithyn • april 6th • melbourne ⚑

liked by, oscarpiastri, landonorris, mclaren, markwebber, and 413,257 others

bakewithyn: happy birthday oscar 🥳 there’s no birthday gift like scoring your FIRST EVER POINTS in f1 at your HOME race but !!! i’m super happyyy you enjoyed the 🐨 cookies i made for you (lando helped ig 😐) 🤗🤗🤗

tagged oscarpiastri

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📌 yninstagram ps! these are limited edition cookies at my bakery for oscar piastri day!!! first come first serve until sell out! all proceeds go to the australian koala foundation as it was oscar’s personal request 😇

➥ user charitable king shit fr 👑

➥ user FUCK i wish i was rich enough to visit/live in monaco

➥ user don't worry, they're nearly sold out already and the bakery opened three hours ago !!!!

nicolepiastri these were so tasty! i wish i had your baking skills

➥ yninstagram tysm mama piastri !!! i'm blushing

➥ user mama piastri???? im crying

user the koala photo with the bow 😩

➥user what r u talking about?? i only see a picture of oscar with a bow?

➥ user fr i only see oscar 😵‍💫

user "lando helped ig" what did he do? look pretty the entire time you baked LMAO

➥ landonorris actually i was allowed to put the ingredients in the bowls AND preheat the oven too 😤

➥ landonorris and i always look pretty wtf

➥ user omg...yn gave him the toddler tasks 💀💀💀

oscarpiastri the cookies were so good! they nearly tasted better than my first points felt

➥ yninstagram omg high praise from the man himself 🤯

➥ oscarpiastri had to fight my sisters to make sure they didn't only leave me with crumbs

➥ user oh i understand that eldest sibling battle

➥ user my little sisters bite i think they have rabies

➥ user oh what a shame. euthanasia is an option 🤗

miami • 2023

The energy after Miami was rightfully terrible. The car is shit; Lando lost a position from where he qualified to make him P17 and Oscar maintained his P19. It’s hot, and humid, and everyone in the garage is miserable. McLaren is a family. When the boys don’t do good, everybody understands and feels their pain. Nobody likes seeing the boys with frowns on their lips and sadness in their eyes, but it’s becoming a usual appearance during this season. So to turn those frowns upside down, you went on a hunt for some cold treats. You got Lando a frozen lemonade and Oscar an ice cream sandwich—it’s a safe choice, you hadn’t necessarily thought about asking him what kind of ice cream he prefers. 

You found Oscar staring at the wall, eyes focused forward but his mind somewhere else. You tapped him gently on the shoulder, offering him a small smile when he looked at you. He tried to offer you a smile of his own but couldn’t manage to hold it for more than a couple seconds. You presented the ice cream sandwich to him and he looked at you in surprise, as if he couldn’t believe you would give it to him.

“F-for,” his voice cracks awkwardly, “For me?”

You hummed, ruffling his hair and taking a seat on the couch next to him, “No, for the King of England. Yes–for you Oscar.”

He thanked you shyly and quickly began to unwrap the packaging, munching away happily. You took a second to text Lando your location and inform him of the frozen lemonade waiting for him, and when you turned to look back at Oscar—the kid was a mess. He wasn’t even a quarter of the way through the dessert sandwich and you’re convinced he managed to spill more of it than he ingested. The ice cream was painted across the lower half of his face and dripping down his hands–you caught a drop of it with a napkin before it fell and stained his shirt.

“Jesus, Oscar!” you scolded him, “I look away for two seconds and you make a mess!”

Oscar shrugged at you, feigning innocence, but you saw the staple redness of embarrassment begin to tint his chubby cheeks. You snapped your fingers in remembrance before you moved to rifle through your purse, Oscar staring at you with wide eyes as he continued to snack away. You exclaimed in delight, showing off a pair of wet wipes you remembered to bring with you. Oscar accepted the offered wipes and you watched carefully to make sure he removed all the smudges of ice cream from his hands and face.

“Hi, lovely girl,” Lando approached you, throwing himself onto the sofa next to you. He gave you a soft kiss on the lips and temple before grabbing his now lemonade slushy and taking a look at Oscar.

“Woah, mate,” Lando teased, “Did you lose in a fight against the ice cream sandwich?”

Oscar rolled his eyes and ignored Lando as he finished cleaning up. Once he was done, you gathered all of the dirty wipes on the table to be thrown away. You and Lando both watched Oscar as he ate the rest of his snack in fear of another mess occurring—and, then you had a bright idea. Leaning forward, you took a dry napkin and tucked it into the collar of his McLaren polo, creating a makeshift bib. 

“Lando, remind me to get our son ice cream in a cup from now on!”

twitter • may 14th

instagram • landonorris • may 23rd • monte carlo ⚑

liked by, bakewithyn, charlesleclerc, fernandoalonso, and 502,113 others

landonorris: does it still count as a date night if your boy and his best friend are building legos in the next room🤨

tagged bakewithyn, oscarpiastri, logansargeant

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user "your boy" WTF DOES THAT MEAN ‼️‼️‼️

user they're building legos before the race weekend starts 🤧

user has oscar been staying with lando since last week?

➥ user i thought he was just sleeping over for one night 🧐

adamnorris does this make me a grandfather?

➥ user what the hell is happening

➥ landonorris um? surprise haha 😀

bakewithyn it's a great date night! it's comforting knowing ozzy's in the next room over

➥ bakewithyn i have separation anxiety :)

➥ landonorris me too omg this was my best idea ever

➥ user this is like a reverse 13th reason- it's like my 1st reason i'm glad to be alive

➥ user ozzy 🫠

landonorris logan and osc just went silent. chat, should i be worried?

➥ user i'll bet my life savings that one of them has a lego shoved up their nose 😬

➥ user when kids go quiet it's never good !!!!

qatar • 2023

You cried an embarrassing amount of times this weekend. Your son won his first sprint race in his Formula One career, and his father—your boyfriend—was up there on the podium with him to celebrate. It seems like you have to make another special dessert for your bakery to celebrate both of your boys, but you can worry about brainstorming ideas when you stop crying into Andrea Stella’s shoulder in the middle of the pit lane. You’re sure that your face will be posted all over Twitter in a couple of hours.

A part of you wished that Lando had won the sprint race, just as he probably wanted the same thing. But, as both of you made eye contact with each other over Oscar’s head, the Australian rambling endlessly as he hugged his trophy on your hotel room floor, both of you knew that there was no better outcome this weekend than Oscar getting a taste of victory. Lando’s win will come in due time. A P2, P3 finish on Sunday was just the proof everyone needed of McLaren’s improvement and the threat they may pose to Red Bull next year. 

são paulo • 2023

You had the Grand Prix playing on your phone as you did some prep work for the bakery. The race ended and you couldn’t help but feel happy, yet relieved for the race to be over for different reasons. Lando had a wonderful drive today, and Oscar had the opposite; you were just glad it wasn’t a DNF for him.

You had only just begun wiping down the counters when the sound of the post-race show is interrupted by the ringtone you have set for Oscar. You paused quickly, scooping your phone up to answer.

“Hi, Ozzy,” you cooed gently, “How are you feeling? Sorry about your race buddy, that was unfortunate.”

“It happens, I guess. I feel like shit, mostly. Like I let the team down.”

“No way, Oscar! You’re not letting anybody down. Your race result today wasn’t the result of your skills, it was the result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a racing incident. If anybody tells you differently, let me know. I’ll rip their vocal cords out.”

Oscar’s laugh crackled through the receiver. “Yes, mum. I’ll let you know. I really want some of your chocolate chip cookies, they’re the perfect bad race remedy.”

“Well, I’m flying out in a few hours to meet you guys in Brazil so I can celebrate Lando’s—sorry, excuse me—your father’s birthday with him. I think there may be some time for me in my schedule to make some cookies with you.”

“Really? We should make some for Lando too! Wait, before you leave, I left his birthday gift—”

“—In our apartment, I remember! I already packed it in my luggage, I wouldn’t forget.”

“You’re the best, seriously.”

“Mhm, I know. Also, we should share some of these cookies with Charles too, his radio message made me cry.”

“Okay, he can have one cookie.”

“Oscar Jack,” you said dryly.

“Yes, sharing is caring or whatever. He can have like...two.”

instagram • bakewithyn • november 13th • las vegas ⚑

liked by, mclaren, landonorris, f1, oscarpiastri and 353,764 others

bakewithyn: happy birthday to lando norris. he's a pretty cool guy, a great dad, and the perfect boyfriend. love you lots, baby, and i'll love you forever xxx

tagged landonorris

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user wait is this a pregnancy announcement 😨

user this is giving engagement reveal

charlesleclerc bro. if i didn't know you guys i would think your caption was serious 😣

➥ bakewithyn get pranked LOL XD

➥ user oh i feel like i just got catfished

➥ user wait so lando didn't propose nor did he put a baby in her 😒

➥ user I WANTED A BABY NORRIS

➥ user oscar exists? he's literally their child

oscarpiastri no fr i thought i was about to learn i had a sibling otw from this post

➥ bakewithyn ozzy we would've told you???

➥ landonorris you literally bought the card for me

➥ oscarpiastri a boy can hope for a younger sibling can he not :(

➥ bakewithyn so close 😚 no you can't! hope that helps xo

➥ landonorris sorry osc, it's your mum's decision 🤷‍♂️

➥ user does this mean lando wants an actual kid

mclaren admin was terrified ngl 😅

➥ mclaren i thought you really posted an engagement and pregnancy reveal without letting me know 😭

➥ landonorris sorry admin, i'll keep you in the loop in the future

➥ user landoyn engagement soon??????

twitter • november 18th • las vegas ⚑

twitter • preseason 2024

miami • 2024

Lando had you pinned to the wall in his driver's room, with his hands tangled in your curls and his mouth devouring yours. Your moans are muffled into his lips as you grind against his thigh. You tried to multitask, struggling to pull his driver’s suit down. Lando lifted you slightly, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist and neither of you cared to pull away at the sound of your foot hitting his P1 trophy and knocking it over. One of his hands fell from your hair to grasp at the smooth brown skin of your neck, his palm acting as a warm weighted choker on your throat and you broke away from the kiss to moan. 

“Fuck, Lando—get naked,” you whined desperately, “we don’t have much time for you to tease me right now!”

Lando laughed as he moved to press kisses along your jawline and behind your ear. You felt his lips part on your skin, his breath ghosting over you causing goosebumps to rise, but it’s not his voice you hear.

“Lando, they need us for pictures—OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK,” yelped Oscar, the sound of his hand smacking over his eyes reverberating around the room.

You shrieked in surprise, pushing your boyfriend away from you as you speedily readjusted your clothes. Lando positioned himself in front of you, his back facing you allowing you a little more privacy as he speedily fixed his suit around his waist.

“Learn how to knock, kid,” Lando huffed, no shame found in his words, “You interrupted my winning celebration.”

You screamed in dismay, slapping the back of Lando’s head and Oscar began to stumble out of the room, bumping into the doorframe as he still covered his eyes.

“Yeah, knock in the future, I understand,” Oscar sounds like he’s about to cry, “I feel like I just saw my mum and dad having sex!”

instagram • bakewithyn • may 12th • mama's house ⚑

liked by oscarpiastri, alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, and 551,012 others

bakewithyn: LOOK AT MY SON 🥺🥺 PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR 🗣️🗣️🔊🔊 (happy mother's day to all the beautiful mamas x)

tagged oscarpiastri

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oscarpiastri did dad get you anything 🙃

➥ user 👀👀👀

➥ landonorris well i would've if SOMEBODY told me we were celebrating this year 🤬🤬🤬🤬

➥ oscarpiastri i didn't know i *had* to tell you

➥ user wowwwww lando

➥ user shameful honestly 😕

markwebber happy milf day

➥ markwebber *mother's day sorry typo

➥ bakewithyn what the fuck ☠️☠️☠️

➥ user that was not a typo mark

➥ user sir u are not slick LMAO

➥ bakewithyn i mean...oscar wouldn't mind a step dad, his fatther didn't get me anything today :(

➥ landonorris AYO BABY PLEASE 🧎‍♂️

oscarpiastri you know what would be an even better mother's day gift? getting a puppy 🤭

➥ bakewithyn we are not getting a puppy ozzy.

➥ landonorris should've clued me in osc i might've convinced her for you

➥ oscarpiastri :[

monaco • 2024

You’re about to crash THE FUCK out. At first, it was a little half-joke. Oscar’s home race in Australia, his 1/16th home race in China, and his 3/16th home race in Italy. You originally thought his tweet about “searching for his Monegasque roots” was cute, but you didn’t expect Charles Marc Herve Perceval (Demon Spawn) Leclerc to step into your playing field.

Who the hell does he think he is? Offering to adopt your son? And, Oscar is going along with it? And, the Miami Grand Prix account making a “Certificate of Adoption?” You started to like Miami after Lando won there; and now they’ve betrayed you. Every fan jumped on the bandwagon, thinking that this was the most adorable thing to happen. Like Oscar hasn’t been your child the minute he stepped foot into the MTC in Silverstone. Like he didn’t give you a Mother’s Day present? The Monegasques have some nerve; you were close with Charles and Alex but, now they’ve encroached on your and Lando’s territory. You’re committing several murders today. 

You laughed hysterically when Oscar joined Lando and you for lunch, mentioning that Charles and Alex invited him to eat with the rest of the Leclercs at family dinner after qualifying. You agreed to let him but not without making sure Charles and Alex are qualified for the job. Lando also cornered you in the kitchen and persuaded you to allow Oscar to go; swaying you with the idea of a real date night. You never realized just how much time you guys spend with your son. When’s the last time you guys had a break from being “mum and dad?" It was an appealing offer, but you were serious about clarifying expectations to the thieving couple.

twitter • may 25th • monaco

instagram • bakewithyn • may 25th • date night ⚑

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, nicolepiastri and 236,978 others

bakewithyn: a little night off from parenting was needed x

tagged landonorris

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user okay mamiiiii

user all parents deserve to relax !!!

oscarpiastri do you even miss me ☹️

➥ user damn he goin through it

➥ charlesleclerc i literally just got him to smile and now he's crying again 😒

➥ landonorris your mum and i love you lots osc

➥ oscarpiastri :]

alexandrasaintmleux take full advantage of having no children in the house 😈😈😈

➥ charlesleclerc leo will keep him distracted for as longggg as possible 😏

➥ user lando only needs about three minutes 🥱

➥ user wow that's a really long time fr

oscarpiastri mama y papa

➥ user mama y papa

➥ user mama y papa

➥ user mama y papa

instagram • landonorris • june 16th • daddy's home ⚑

liked by oscarpiastri, angryginge, bakewithyn and 436,812 others

landonorris: father's day done right. my child and his mother made a cake for me, family photo slide two, and my son slide three. what more can a man want.

tagged bakewithyn and oscarpiastri

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user this man never misses a chance to call himself daddy

user too fucking funny 🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️

bakewithyn happy father's day, daddy xxx

➥ user OHMYGOD 😖🤢🤮

➥ user on my internet⁉️⁉️⁉️

➥ landonorris even happier now x

user this new wave of parents concerns me...

oscarpiastri the cake was good wasn't it???

➥ landonorris it was perfect, seriously

➥ oscarpiastri i know you both said there's no way we'd get a puppy but hear me out i've thought of something better

➥ oscarpiastri working on giving me a younger sibling :]

➥ user YES BABY NORRIS ‼️‼️‼️

➥ landonorris @/bakewithyn ?

➥ bakewithyn ask me again in a couple of years

© httpsserene2024

[kaiju-krew]

Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)

I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.

hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time

anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)

shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.

sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’

i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.

as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.

DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO

i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.

i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙

goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it

i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu

SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10

[hornyhermitry]

Professional translations & public witch hunts

For starters: If you think "TL;DR, who cares, I ain't reading all that" and are incapable of processing words for a prolonged amount of time beyond 240 character clickbait, you are not entitled to an opinion on translation to begin with.

I will take sufficient time for this one.

General:

In recent weeks I've repeatedly had the misfortune of coming across public harassment and incited hate mobs towards Jujutsu Kaisen's manga translator.

There's hordes of anti-social harassers pushing for someone to get fired from a professional job - in which he works because he is equipped with the necessary qualifications - purely due to disliking occasional translation choices in a comic.

This behavior has reached levels of exaggeration and reality disconnect, it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad due to a real person's livelihood being attacked.

This is not normal and tolerable behavior. It is equal to drumming up a hate mob in front of a café and threatening some employee inside, throwing rocks at the window and demanding for a barista to get fired because you didn't like the coffee beans they chose, or sure, maybe because they put actual sugar instead of sweetener into your coffee.

This is not a normal and acceptable way to behave.

If you think it is, there is something deeply wrong with your perception of society and what's respectful conduct towards another human being. When you encounter another person, you act respectfully at the very least. Kind, ideally.

Feel free to imagine yourself at work, making a mistake and thousands of people starting to call, email, shitpost online and harass you over it, dragging you publicly, shouting on the parking lot for you to be fired. Please reflect on yourself.

Now:

This dude does comic translations.

He did not authorize biochemical weapons in a war. He did not pass a law to deport all migrants and close the borders. He did not accidentally kill someone during a surgery. He did not hack & rob the annual employee bonus' account.

He wrote a word you don't like in a comic.

Planet Earth to Werry hater: Please come back down to reality and dial it back a few notches. This is a non-issue. Whether he makes mistakes or not, this level of hate and harassment is ENTIRELY out of pocket.

Moving on to translations.

Translations/criticizing translations:

Opinions on translations are like assholes - everyone got one. But that doesn't mean you need to pull them out in public. And especially not that you have to shit into random people's lives with them.

I've been reading manga and playing games in private for 27 years. I speak 4 Western languages and A2.2 Japanese. I've been working in the international entertainment industry with a focus on Asian to Western markets for over a decade, including Chinese, Japanese & Korean.

A lot of my time at work is filled with liaising between East and West, internally as well as externally. In my career, I've spent a lot of years supporting and later on consulting on localization.

I know what it is like to be a fan, and I am fully aware of the work reality behind translation.

I'm also intricately aware of the difficulties one faces when interpreting (!) from a source language as abstract and contextual as Japanese to a spelled out language such as English, French, Spanish, German, etc.

You cannot do a 1:1 translation. The nature of these languages is so different, you have to decide on one of many ways to translate something. And oftentimes, the content is so vague with so few indicators, the only thing you can do is guess and hope for the best - unless you happen to hit a rare jackpot of a person who has a guide with additional info and is able to provide this within the short deadline you are left with.

Even the most basic words already illustrate this difference.

Look at the example of

元気ですか / げんきですか = Genki desu ka

Genki is an adjective, "desu ka" is a question particle similar to "is it".

Genki already has many similar variants in meaning: "lively; full of spirit; energetic; vigorous; vital; spirited"

It is commonly translated as "How are you?" but that is not what it literally means.

Since "Genki desu ka?" is commonly used after the initial greeting when meeting someone, "How are you" is the closest equivalent to it in EN, due to it's function and usual placement within a dialogue.

The literal translation would be "Energetic is it?", or "Lively is it?"

That is obviously is no proper English.

Adjusting for grammar, it could be changed to "Are you lively?" - but the "you" is already a "fictional addition" to the sentence, as the original JP has no adress like this.

And asking someone if they are "lively" is also out of place. So more changes are needed.

Further adjusted for "natural sounding" would be "Are you doing good?" which now has 2 additional made up words, to transfer the question from JP to EN - "you" and "good".

This sentence does not necessarily have to mean "Are you good/How are you?". If I tell you my aunt Emma sends her regards, and you reply "Ah. Genki desu ka?" the translation would be "Oh. How is (Emma) doing?/Is Emma doing good?" JP's grammar works without these precise indicators who is talking about whom and is highly contextual whereas - Western languages need those.

Concluding, depending on who is talking to one another, who was mentioned on a page before, etc. a simple "Genki desu ka?" can be anything from "How are you?" to "Is (Panda) doing good?".

There is no literal 1:1 translation possible. The languages are too different.

The reality of translation is unclear source material open to multiple interpretations, once you settle on an interpretation having another dozen options to decide on for the specific wording, then having to adjust that to character and spacing limitations and doing all that with little turnover time.

On top of that, official translations work with styleguides and glossaries.

There could e.g. be a kind of character bible with notes about all characters and their peculiar ways of talking and what character traits those convey and an instruction to use approach XYZ to convey that.

"Speaks in a very poetic way, very roundabout and meandering" which could e.g. lead to overhauling the literal translation to add "personality" based on that.

Going by "(O) genki desu ka?" suddenly "How are you?"for the "poetic trait" becomes "How has life been treating you?"

Again - at the end overhauled again to make room for character limits and such, so maybe it becomes "How fare you?"

This change could have been added not because this particular line offers the exact context, but it is rooted in a style instruction to work with a certain speech pattern/type for a character - since the JP indicators at another spot might not offer satisfactory EN translations, so you have to add the "personality" elsewhere.

Translations of ongoing works utilize glossaries and you cannot use new terms if there is already a term established and submitted. Else it would be a mess of e.g. Cursed Energy in Chapter 2, Jinxed Force in Chapter 25, Hex Flow in Chapter 112, Curse Power in Chapter 156, Hex Energy in Chapter 287, etc.

Even if some months or years in you think another translation would be better suited, you are obliged to keep consistency with previous mentions and cannot just change these.

This also means if you take over translation work started by someone else, you have to work with their groundwork and established rules and terms and cannot change them.

Official translations commonly aim to make a foreign work accessible to local readers. If there is a bunch of teenage characters going to school, they should be relatable to local teenagers. As a result, regional and current slang might be added to make it sound more natural whereas the JP might just have "informal" indicators but less variance in vocabulary. The goal of a translation is to make a work accessible to a whole new language audience, hence the focus lies on making it readable without a prior 8 year degree in cultural studies. Things get simplified or changed for that reason.

Usually translators for a work consult with each other what the difficulties translating are, what possible options are, and what each language will run with. These considerations take a lot of time.

Having fans work out occurences deviating from the OG and explaining the specifics behind is it AMAZING community content and something for the people passionate about a story and about learning more about a culture. But it's not needed for the average joe buying a comic at a gas station.

This kind of deep dive is fandom! Enjoy and share and get excited! Enrich each others lives and understanding of a story! It's one of the best things there is.

Finally, a translation has to be timely & approved. There are multiple people involved in this.

It is not on poor John alone to make all decisions as he fancies and send it straight to print after going rogue, but he works within the guidelines & constraints this jobs brings with it. It's his name on the page but there are a lot more people involved in the final result.

Publicly claiming things like a translator "brutally butchers" a story or "is incapable of doing a job" because in a sea of solid translations of a very vague source language, every few chapters there's a specific word deep fandom who spends all their free-time on this particular story would have translated differently, is wildly inappropriate.

Interpreting differently is not doing a wrong job.

People on social media love attention and shitstorms. You get one narcissist with a following pointing out a debatable translation in a snarky smartass way and everyone wants a piece of the smartass cake.

What I struggle with is how people who don't speak a second language & often barely speak their own language with literacy above elementary school, feel entitled to an opinion here. What makes you an expert on cross-cultural art interpretation? What makes you think your opinion holds any weight here? Oh you read a Tweet by s/o else? *clap*

What makes you think you have the right to go after another person's job for no reason other than spite and some internet gotcha over a comic?

If you really value the creation of near perfect translations that much, be the change you want to see in the world.

Learn another language. Get that degree. Get that job in animanga and do your best.

Or for a start, send a polite mail about your concerns to VIZ instead of starting a personal witch hunt for some guy doing his job.

[flhoarder]

Let’s call that more or less done. I will still direct people to my response post and answer questions, but rest assured, my terrible and juvenile sense of humour stays. I will explain what I actually think about something on a serious post if asked, but my stupid joke posts will stay stupid because I’m not smart. Things will get exaggerated, things will even be grotesquely exaggerated depending on who you ask. I apologise only for when I have a bad attitude or come across as rude, but I won’t apologise for what looks like a take on a post of mine when there’s not meant to be one. Yes if someone isn’t sure and asks, I will say “oh actually I didn’t intend for it to be taken seriously” and I hope that doesn’t come off as the Schrödinger’s asshole situation. It’s always been the case where most, if not all of my posts are just meant to entertain people who have similar sense of humour as I do (my condolences to these people /jk)

Nothing is ever going to dissuade me from thinking up stupid posts and post them. Some of them should probably stay in the draft, but hey, not everyone has common sense. Even people whose opinions are something like “you are going too far for a joke because it strays from canon too much”

Yes. My posts will stray from canon, sometimes too much, and they will continue to be that way. Yes. They are stupid. Yes. They are oversimplified and over exaggerated and do not faithfully represent canon whatsoever. It’s never meant to be informative, it’s never meant to be a thinly veiled opinion hidden behind a shitpost, and I will never claim otherwise. Sincerely, that’s where I’m at and that’s where I’m coming from consistently on this blog.

But it’s fine on both sides. It’s always a potentiality when you make posts in any fandom. People responding to my posts whatever their attitude may be, it’s all fine. If a post bothers or upsets you, it’s counterintuitive for many to assume OP comes from any place of good faith. And that’s why I respond to every post and try to explain myself. Most people don’t know about this account or what I post here, and not everyone has the same attitude as I do about certain things a large amount of people are passionate about. And that’s a good thing. This fandom benefits from serious discussions, I’m just not adding to that myself. I’ll try to gently guide away people who are a bit more serious than I am about these posts as soon as I can manage just to save everyone’s trouble (and this isn’t to be dismissive, I just don’t think it’s a good thing to let misunderstandings percolate for too long, I don’t imagine it to be nice when you draft out a discussion/argument/response to a post and OP comes back with a ‘LOL it’s not that deep bro’. That’s when it becomes disrespectful and exasperatingly so. Another thing is with the intention to only post shits and giggles, the last thing I want is for people to be riled up and get angry about them, it really is just not worth it. Frankly I also don’t want that level of stress for myself either. So I try to put my disclaimer in early before many spend their time on things like this.) and you are certainly welcome to block me if you don’t like what you see here. No offence taken, it’s not personal.

The only thing that is personal is if I myself come off as an asshole in any discussion and if I am, please let me know, I’ll fix that.

[thecl0wnfather]

Really long Twisted Wonderland idea post.

Yuu gets to pet any and all creatures, the post. Gimme a kiss if you like it *does a kickflip on Cater's skateboard*

* @ that person who wrote a post about Crowley calling Yuu a beast tamer, and Yuu being cool with Beastmen because of that title. I wanna tag you, but I kinda forgot who it was n' now I can't find it, someone tell me :( I'm expanding on that idea <3

* Malleus and Grim are the beginnings of Yuu's innate ability to attract any and all creatures. The bats that follow Lilia, Silver's forest friends, the Equestrian club horses, Lucius, Beastmen, fae, mermen, and whatever else... will just find themselves getting closer to Yuu. Whether they notice it or not.

* Ramshackle has officially been taken over by the sheer amount of living beings raiding the place every week. Yuu's beast tamer aura is similar to Silver's D*sney Princess animal abilities, except ten times worse, and they can't stop finding a new nest and/or burrow of some random animal family.

* The Ghost trio living there have basically become the housekeepers and have to constant kick out critters and students before they end up cramming up the dorm. That, or breaking the rickety old floorboards from the amount of them.

* Not everyday you get to have some time to touch any new animal (or person), so Yuu went along with it. Come to the Ramshackle dorm if you want pettings AND a free therapy session. All profits go to the Ramshackle dorm. (And Grim's premium tuna bill!)

* Grim doesn't enjoy this. His henchmen is practically a zookeeper at this point, and if Grim isn't your number one priority among these BEASTS then that's just blasphemy. Remember. He can be your angle, or yuor devil 😈

+ Dire Crowley is also here. Crowley gets to sit in the corner and drink from a cup of apple juice like a drinky bird. Drink well, sweet headmaster (derogatory AND affectionate <3)

* This whole next part is just Yuu being a total numbnut in other dorms lmao... Gets kinda long for a quick shitpost...

* Heartslabyul probably owes Yuu a ton of favours tbh. Ace and Deuce think doing their chores are a drag, so... Why not get the infamous Ramshackle Prefect to go take care of the animals today? They can enjoy being covered in a pile of hedgehogs and flamingos! Cue Riddle finding out (Cater. Cute animals + Bestie prefect. Magicam.) and scolding Adeuce for dumping their duties on someone else. At the very least, they're usually paid back with some kind of sweet treat from Trey. Maybe a flash of a purple cat's smile too.

* Savanaclaw? Yuu calls it the petting zoo, babey. Call it luck, but Yuu gets to be besties with Savanaclaw boys after they come in petting them and telling them they did a good job— Post Chapter 2. Is it their aura? The way they calm their rowdy style? None of the beastmen know, but they do know that Yuu is a very nice magicless human to hang with. Leona is still the boss around the dorm. No one gets a "Good boy!" or headpats if Leona is around. Sure, Leona kicks them out before they spoil the boys, but... who says Leona isn't 100% hogging the good feels at Ramshackle? Ruggie comes along too. Jack would too, but this is Jack Howl we're talking about lol. (He defo acts likes it's an inconvenience, but everyone knows better 😔)

* Octavinelle— Floyd would deadass keep Yuu trapped in a hug as soon as they take a step into Mostro Lounge. Jade has the knowledge not to trap them in front of everyone, but he's dragging them into the VIP room to do the same as his twin. Yuu is not immune to a happy Leech twin snuggle sammy. May they be blessed with infinite mushrooms and an ungodly amount of shrimp dishes. Azul will, undeniably, take advantage of Yuu's strange aura and use them as a marketing tool to gain more customers. Points for diversity, he says.

* Scarabia also owes Yuu some favours, but they're payed back almost instantaneously. Kalim definitely invites the Ramshackle duo to hang out with animals and have a feast every week. Jamil might be having a heart attack from seeing TWO reckless morons cuddling a tiger, but that is his own problem. Bonus if Silver joins the party, cause that means Kalim gets TWO besties to chill with animals. (Maybe you could calm Jamil by tempting him with a parrot? Or a viper if you're feeling silly)

* Banned from Pomefiore lmao. Vil admires your capabilities, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to walk around like a fur magnet into his dorm. Rook would go to Ramshackle to fawn over the many critters (And possibly bother Leona and Ruggie if they're nearby) although he usually ends up terrifying everyone there. Don't tell Epel, but everyone takes pictures of him when little birds land on his head whenever he comes over for a study session at Ramshackle. Yuu never says anything because the birds know they have an album of "Cute friends and cute creatures" on their phone.

* Ignihyde is crying, my guy. Why does Yuu always waltz in with strangers and wild animals in tow??? Idia, however, is also taking advantage of Yuu's passive skill of beast tamer! Technically, if Idia ranks up his friendship with Yuu, shouldn't that mean his rate of pulling a few cats and dogs go up? The pros of dealing with one person to get his furry euphoria versus the cons of social interaction and social anxiety... He's in a dilemma, but Ortho is happy. Big brother is trying to get a friend! Uh, somewhat.

* Diasomnia has a bad case of bird nests tucked in every corner of the dorm. Both Silver and Yuu are the cause of this, but how could Lilia scold them? His son and the prefect look very peaceful as they hand feed little woodland critters together. Sebek interrupts this, of course. Will Yuu pet the half-fae lad to calm him, and will it work? Depends on if you think being half-fae counts. Malleus is one happy dragon faerie though! That's all that matters. Him and his super cool other-wordly, technically alien, human best friend have chats over tea, and Sebek can't do a single thing about it. (Added note: Lilia includes soft vampire papa hugs if you'd like that)

+ Ramshackle extra. Yuu buried in a pile of their first-year friends. Just buddies in a cuddle pile with sweet baby Grim in the middle. That's it. There's nothing else other than love and peace in the pile 😎 I just wanted that in your mind.

Guys, I think I took this too far for a 'shitpost', but I don't give a shit. Catch you on the flip side baby, heeya.

[mittensmorgul]

For anyone interested in long-term residence in the supernatural fandom, please have some observations I’ve made over the decade I’ve been here. Take it or leave it as you will, but I’ve found all of this info useful over the years I’ve been here.

I wrote this yesterday, and it achieved its mission of identifying the sort of folks who would react negatively to it (i.e. a lot of block lists have been updated), so now that it’s been edited for content, it’s going under a cut (because that is how we do things on tumblr in general, unless we have a deliberate purpose for annoying readers with excessively long text posts) for the sake of people who actually do care about the fandom and its history. If that’s not you or your reason for being here, then keep on keeping on with your own thing, I guess. For those who are interested, there’s a lot of fandom resources some of us have been building for years that you might enjoy knowing about.

First off, I’ve been informed by a few friends who’ve read through this for coherency’s sake that it sort of reads like a *shakes cane from porch* fandom grandma complaint, but honestly... I earned this rocking chair and goshdangit imma rock now. So apologies for any “back in my day” vibes or faint aroma of tiger balm this post might give off. Then again, it’s loosely based on a similar post from 2012 so like... time is a flat circle anyway I guess.

1. There is no such thing as “tumblr famous,” unless you’re referring to the hilarious and delightful fic of the same name (please go read it, you will cackle). Posting Hot Takes for imaginary Clout™ on this site is kind of pointless in the long run. Sure you can post solely for the sake of stirring shit and getting notes, but the majority of the folks who do aren’t long term residents of the fandom. They’re just tourists moving through our little beach town for spring break. If you’re actually intent on moving to this corner of the fandom for an extended stay, please bother to really feel out the permanent residents and understand the culture and general mood of the neighborhood. It bears no resemblance to whatever’s going on across town where all the bars and beach parities are happening, and those loud, drunken revelers are, again, gonna disappear back to their regular lives or on to the next party eventually. That doesn’t mean the fandom is dying, it’s just evolving.

(funny how I had several comments implying that I’m just trying to keep the fandom from evolving with this post, because I sincerely do want the fandom to continue on for years to come, and that is impossible without evolution. We can evolve without self-immolating, though. mostly i included point 1 for an excuse to push ancient but hilarious fanfic on you.)

2. Once you post something here, it’s been unleashed to the fandom winds. You never know where it will end up, or who will comment on it or add to it. Remember that time Misha tweeted the link to the Epic Cockles Love Story post? No? It was wild. That was 2012. They all know we’re here, and how to find us if they want to. Please don’t take it to their doorsteps.

Obviously if someone is being a dick on your posts, please feel free to block them, but the whole entire point of this site is to engage people with your posts. Being big mad that someone reblogged your post with comments or supporting evidence, or happy headcanons or “HECK THIS IS GREAT BECAUSE (insert personal story about their experience or whatever else made them Feel Things about your post)” is frankly ridiculous. If your goal is to avoid any sort of engagement with your posts, then maybe try instagram instead. From what I understand, there is a SPN fandom presence there, and nobody can tarnish your original posts with unwanted commentary. But the ability to reblog with additional commentary is a FEATURE of tumblr that builds community through conversation. Otherwise we’re all just talking to ourselves in a vacuum, and that’s what actually kills fandoms.

(and for the folks who just want to blog how they want to blog and don’t want people to engage on their posts at all, please feel free to block anyone you want, as well... nobody wants to step on your toes, but most of us also don’t want to walk on eggshells wondering if this post is one of the “do not add comments for any reason” sorts of posts, either. This is a huge fandom and most people can’t even begin to keep track of every creator and their url du jour, and what their personal rules might be regarding interaction with their content. Including a “please don’t add comments” note at the bottom of your posts-- and not in your tags that won’t even show up on reblogs, but in the actual body of the post-- would sincerely help avoid any awkward or unwanted interactions, too. At the end of the day, you are in control of your own fandom experience and the block button exists.

For the record, I block zero fandom blogs (which is why I posted this, I wanted it to reach a wide scope... refer to the opening paragraphs as to why).

3. Since this post was partly inspired by a tag I left on that post going around about how “previous tags” mean fuckall on this site (which you can read here), just a reminder that if you like someone’s tags or feel they add value to the post, part of the Peer Review structure of tumblr encourages you to PASTE THEM INTO A REBLOG. If you do this, then at least credit the person who actually wrote the tags! Don’t just copy someone else’s tags into your tags on your reblog of the post without credit either. They were not YOUR tags. (I have had this happen to tag rambles I wrote and someone else got credited with them on a subsequent reblog and it is FRUSTRATING). Just... don’t even bother to write “previous tags” because WHAT PREVIOUS TAGS?! Nobody is gonna bother to chase back the chain of reblogs trying to find where the mystery tags came from, friendos. That way lies madness.

(for the record, since some folks seemed to focus on this point solely, writing “previous tags” on a post isn’t inherently a BAD thing, but for anyone who actually is here for more than one-off shitposting, then it’s sort of a pointless thing in the long run. This wasn’t intended to suggest people who ARE here for one-off shitposting are bad or “doing it wrong,” but for people who might actually want to preserve that hilarious joke or insightful comment. People delete posts and entire blogs all the time around here. Links break. I get that the upcoming generation just shrugs at that and moves on with their lives, but heck... you don’t have to accept that all entertainment is disposable if you don’t want to. There’s a bizarre sort of nihilism plaguing us all about the impermanence of pretty much everything that feels like something we should be fighting against rather than buying into wholesale, even in our escapist entertainment. I’m just exhausted by the complete loss of joy in community.

*shouts from the peanut gallery* IT AIN’T THAT DEEP, JUST GET SOME FRESH AIR AND LOOK AT A PUPPY OR SOMETHING

Yes... yes it isn’t really that deep, but bigger picture in the state of reality we’re all entirely disillusioned with, are we supposed to just give up on everything, including the things we cling to because they bring us a tiny spark of hope that we’re not all just trapped in this dystopian nightmare and things might actually be worth living for?

*peanut gallery clinging to burnt husks of peanuts in a barren peanut field* but this is how we have chosen to cope

Okay... you do you... I feel bad for you but if that’s the case then this post is NOT FOR YOU. AND THAT’S FINE. I honestly do not care if you don’t care! I mean, I’m sorry anyone has to live in a world that drives them to that mindset, but I understand. This post is for anyone who might look at their lives and their choices and think “no wait, I unironically enjoy this and want more from the experience of that enjoyment than I’m currently feeling.” Everyone else can continue with their lives as usual.)

4. CONTENT THEFT IS NEVER OKAY. PERIOD. Things like “credit to the artist” or tagging gifs or images you found on pinterest as “not mine” isn’t actually credit. If you can’t source an image or gif set, DO NOT POST IT! We don’t REPOST (i.e. save an image and then create a new post with it as if it was our own creation). We REBLOG (click the little square arrows and reblog from the actual creator). That goes for gif sets, fanvids, screencaps, meta, fic... everything.

(hopefully everyone here already understands this one, but I felt compelled to include some “these are stupidly obvious” reminders anyway, since this is ostensibly some sort of advice column. This is the equivalent of the warning label on your toaster reminding you not to use it in the bath. Like... duh...)

5. Close kin of item 4 is SOURCE YOUR SHIT. 

(for 100% disclosure purposes, I specifically discussed this one in this specific way because of an influx of anon ask messages I received in the wake of the finale. Literally the inciting incident for creating this entire post was what I can only assume was a joking ask about a comment Misha made at a con years ago. Someone actually bothered to take the time to type out those sentences to me. I have no idea what they were expecting in reply, or what could possibly motivate them to send this comment about something so entirely random from, again, several years ago. Just a joke? No idea, but whatever... it got me thinking that there might actually be people who are new to the fandom who MIGHT actually care about the fandom history, and maybe they just don’t know where to go for that info, or how to even begin searching through 16 years of history for things they might actually find enjoyment in, rather than just hauling random out of context garbage out on main and pointing and laughing about it now. People are actually allowed to care about things. It’s not cringeworthy to actually care about things, and you are not alone in actually caring, and there’s this whole big room over here full of people who are thrilled to share in that with you. This post is intended FOR THOSE PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY, so if that is not you, please just continue walking by.)

Yes, I know lots of y’all are new around here right now, but dredging up stuff from years ago that fandom has completely debunked and presenting it as TRU FAX again is just exhausting. We’re not trying to be party poopers, but seriously, we have seen it all and are mostly done with extinguishing bags of flaming dog poop on our front porches for the umpteenth year in a row. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have the same tone as “I saw Goody Proctor dancing with the devil” or “I heard kylo ren has an eight pack” and just... the information is there for anyone who cares enough to find it.

This goes double for “why is nobody talking about this thing I just discovered while watching the show for the first time?!” And, oh hon, we have talked it all into the ground over the last fifteen years. We’re happy you’re discovering it again, but I promise we talked about it plenty when the episodes originally aired. We have such a rich meta history that lots of us have worked really hard to preserve. I encourage you to seek it out, if nothing else than as historical artifacts. The way we have discussed the show has been a 16-year evolution. People have written literal doctoral dissertations on this show. Your shitposts are fun! We love reliving our own experience through fresh eyes, and seeing your wonder at experiencing it all again for the first time! But y’all didn’t invent this fandom in the last six months, either.

Meta Sources and Minerals provided by our friendly neighborhood fandom archivist, @lets-steal-an-archive

Academic books and articles about SPN 

A collection of Meta Essays going back to s1 and organized by topic (all of this has happened before, all of it will happen again)

SPN Heavy Meta Archive (s1-3)

Mel’s Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-12)

Oranges8hands Dreamwidth archive of meta (s1-15, with many similar entries to Mel’s... though ymmv on viewpoint in a lot of these too)

Anyone remember Fandom Wank? Not the concept but the actual LJ... No? Okay have a link to SPN topics that ended up there. Through 2013. We have seen so much... including several fandom containment breaches.

for all your art sourcing needs, please see @theroadsofararchive, the repository for so much fandom art.

need to find a gif of something? canonspngifs is a vast repository of gifsets of the entire series. If the gif you want to use in your post happens to be the first gif in the gifset, in the tumblr gif finder thingy just paste the permalink to that post from canonspngifs (which is easily searchable by episode, character, location, situation, quotes, and sometimes even color and clothing items the actors are wearing... it’s really well organized, especially for tumblr >.>) and the first gif will be automatically linked with credit to the gif creator attached. It makes life easy that way. It’s also convenient when trying to remember something specific but can’t remember what episode it’s from. I’ve used the site to jog my memory before going to the superwiki armed with more specific search results to find episode quotes and references. Or sometimes I just scroll through all the nice gifs for fun, too.

Need a screencap of something and know exactly which episode it’s from? Try Home of the Nutty. You might not find the exact screencap you’re looking for, but they have a complete set of caps of every episode, and it’s an incredibly useful resource for quick reference checks and the like. Just give pages a chance to fully load before clicking on the next one. The site is easily overloaded, but it’s still free to use (and again, with credit... Pretty much every screencap on my entire blog is from HotN unless otherwise credited).

As you can see, this is a fandom built on preserving our history. You absolutely are not required to engage with any of this if that’s not of interest to you, but I can only assume that there are people who would be interested in it if only they knew it existed and how to find it. Well, now they do.

6. A few more notes on tags, and how they work on tumblr. The first 20 tags on your ORIGINAL posts are searchable sitewide, so if you want to be able to find something again, tag that thing first before going on general tag rambles. The only place tags on reblogs are searchable is on your own blog. So you don’t have to put 50 tags trying to get a post seen if it’s a reblog. You’re just spitting into the wind at that point. If you have a filing system for finding things again, then by all means add those tags (again, in the first 20, so they’re searchable), but you don’t need to tag a reblog “destiel” and “deancas” and “dean” and “cas” and “dean x cas” or whatever. Pick one for your personal blog’s filing system, that’s all you need.

(this was only added because tagging and searching on this site is so very broken... I get that a lot of folks don’t care about ever searching their own blogs again for anything, so this one only really applies if you do often find yourself trying to find old posts. If not, then it’s not really relevant.  It took me years to work out a decent tagging system, and at the beginning of my time here I never thought I’d end up camping out here for a decade and falling this deep into the fandom, and I regretted my lack of consistent tags only years later when I realized I actually wanted to be able to go back and find specific old posts again. So... for anyone who wants to err on the side of caution, working out a sensible tagging system really helps if you’re here for the long term. I personally tag content by episode, because some of my other general tags are so large as to be practically useless as a search term. But whatever system you choose to file stuff on your own blog, it really only has to make sense to you. And again, if this is pointless advice for someone who has no intention of settling here for the long term. Please feel free to ignore it. I just wish someone had explained it this way to me ten years ago and saved me the hassle of retroactively tagging something like 30k posts... especially now that using the mass tag replacer is the fastest way to get your entire blog deleted... oops? so yeah, don’t use the mass tag replacer either >.>)

7. Tags on Tumblr DO NOT WORK LIKE TAGS ON TWITTER. If you @ someone in the body of the post, it will show up in their notifications (if they’re the sort of person who even checks their notifications... not all of us do. For the record, I generally don’t...), but putting actor or ship names in the tags on a tumblr post does absolutely nothing. It’s not the same as tagging the actor’s twitter account in a tweet. Nobody’s getting notifications about you tagging a post about Jensen here as “Jensen Ackles.” There is a difference. Please learn it. (and don’t take headcanons and ESPECIALLY RPF or otherwise explicit art or fic from tumblr to twitter and tag the actors in it. That’s just... not okay.)

(I have seen the pearl clutchers getting all in a huff about the mere existence of RPF or even explicit content of fictional characters if it doesn’t meet their purity standards, but tagging those things allows people who don’t want to see it to actively avoid that content here. Nobody has a right to tell people their fictional content shouldn’t exist at all, or that creators of that fictional content somehow deserve harassment or threats for having dared to create such “immoral” content, won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children... and no... you do not do that here. Don’t be the problematic behavior you wish to ban from the world. Learn to use tags to protect yourself from, as i have attempted to emphasize here, fictional content you are personally upset by. That’s a you problem, not a problem for the creators of potentially upsetting content that they tag appropriately for.)

8. General formatting stuff: If you’re writing long text posts, visually break them up so people aren’t faced with one long wall of text. The enter key is your friend. Also, if you put long text posts under a Read More break and send people to your blog to finish reading, please ensure that your blog is actually visually accessible (tiny text, or light grey text on a dark grey background, or a visually busy background might be aesthetically pleasing to you but nobody can actually read it. Loads of folks won’t even try. Which is great if you don’t actually care whether people are able to appreciate your content or not, but something to at least consider if you *do* actively want to encourage engagement with your work. Confirm how your blog looks on both mobile and desktop and make sure it’s actually functional in both, too).

And since I mentioned that most of my experience on fandom tumblr has been in the SPN fandom, here’s a bit of a reminder for folks who are new around here. With the reminder that I have been here more than a decade and still feel like a newbie myself sometimes...

This is an OLD FANDOM. There are many, many people who have been at this longer than some of you have been alive. The average age for creators in this fandom is older than you think (I think of my friends in their 30′s as young’ins okay? okay). With that understood, you are responsible for the content you consume and are exposed to. Curate your experience. Ship and let ship. YKINMKATOK. Don’t deliberately expose yourself to content you find upsetting for whatever reason. Tags and warnings are your friends, not targets for you to attack in some sort of purity war. People will ship things you do not like (or in specific ways you do not like), will say things you do not agree with, and will find their happiness in things you abhor. That is not your concern. Find what you do like, and support and engage with it, and ignore (or block, or unfollow) the rest. Tumblr has a feature that lets you blacklist tags so the content you’re trying to avoid won’t appear on your dash.

Remember the paradox of tolerance.

It is not your job in fandom to police how other people enjoy the fandom. It’s not *my* job to police how *you* enjoy the fandom, UNLESS your enjoyment is in actively harming other real human beings in the fandom. If you don’t like their take on the character or the show or the plotlines or their ships or anything else, you don’t need to engage with their posts at all! The necessary corollary to this is that clarifying misunderstandings or correcting factual misinformation is not “policing.” 

(this is where the peanut gallery reminds me it ain’t that deep, and I plead with them to put down the social media and find just one (1) thing to actually believe in in this godforsaken life, find something other than disdain and cynicism and spite to live for. If those things motivate you to find a larger cause for yourself, then great, use them to your advantage, but use them to find something that makes you a better person or brings you a modicum of joy and connection to your fellow human beings despite living in a dystopian hellscape of a world)

I have seen a lot of posts lately that are founded on the sort of authority that comes with “I watched through tumblr for a few months and then watched the last three episodes of the series” and as such are just... missing the larger context of the entire show, and are unfounded entirely in canon. I 100% appreciate the new enthusiasm for the fandom that we’ve been living in here for years, and it’s wonderful to see new people enjoying the thing we love. Your headcanons are valid, you are valid, but recognize that your headcanons aren’t canon. All of us finale denialists have accepted this in some measure, so we feel you. We truly, truly feel you. But regarding actual canon, we have a resource for that: the Superwiki. Learn it, live it, love it, as Metatron would say.

(which you could discover he said in 10.17 Inside Man, thanks to the superwiki! accept no substitutes!)

(and again, there have been people who have been involved in fandom for years who haven’t engaged with canon in years, either! You can play in this universe however you choose, BUT FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT CANON AT ALL, WHICH I AM AGAIN POINTEDLY SAYING MIGHT NOT BE YOU, READER, AND I’M NOT SUGGESTING YOU ARE WRONG FOR NOT WANTING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE WITH CANON, but if you DO want to engage with canon, please have some useful resources. Why do people feel personally attacked by being presented a list of helpful resources? Absolutely baffling.)

(also: words have definitions. “Canon” is a specific thing, meaning in this case “the finished media product that aired on television.” Anything beyond those limits is secondary canon (think: john’s journal, which is not canon but canon adjacent at best...), word of god (i.e stuff said by the writers and showrunners), or headcanon (which includes actor commentary-- they may have helped create the show with their acting choices and whatever, but they are not in control of the story overall). If there’s something you dislike about actual canon, you can reject it and supplement it with your own theories or preferred outcomes-- that’s basically what fanfic is-- but that doesn’t make your theories canon (much to all our dismay, that’s just not how any of this works. This is not to invalidate how anyone engages with the show or the fandom, just trying to clarify what seems to have been a source of unintentional misunderstandings. Your theories do not have to be “canon” to be legitimate interpretations.)

***I am setting this section apart, and did make a separate post of just this following information, because this is where we go from being relatively chill about different parts of fandom choosing to interact in different ways and you do you and blog however you want, to “hey can everybody please understand that the way you are interacting with this specific material might be harmful for specific legal reasons, and stating that you do not care about the consequences of your actions does actively make you the asshole here...” Okay, now that we have that understood:

The spnscripthunt collective has been steadily acquiring new scripts (which are posted in full on the superwiki for everyone to enjoy, for free). The language around how some folks are talking about these scripts is... concerning. For very real legal reasons, actually, and not because we’re feeling precious about the collection and don’t wike it when meanies use them in shitposts.

-First off, these scripts are not “leaks.” They are all verified and legally purchased (or gifted, in some cases, but still acquired entirely above board. we didn’t whack anyone over the head in a back alley for these scripts, or swipe them out of someone’s trailer on set).

(in case anyone was unaware, these scripts are the copywritten protected property of Warner Brothers. So yes, how we use them and share them with the fandom could have legal repercussions. We present them as a collected resource of fandom history which SHOULD fall under Fair Use doctrine, but this is untested legal water. Insinuating that the scripts are somehow not entirely legally obtained, or that posting them for public access involved less than 100% transparent and entirely legal transactions is incredibly concerning.

Once again for the peanut gallery, if you don’t care about any of that and are just having a good time with it, at least be mindful of the work and expense a large group of people have gone through to acquire and present the content you’re all too eager to exploit for cheap thrills. Some of us do actually care and are not exactly comfortable with the fact that others don’t seem to care about burning it all to the ground. We can’t force you to listen or behave as we’d hope you might, but at least be aware of the potential consequences of your actions. All we’re asking is for you to not be the douchebag who sets the whole neighborhood on fire with your illegal fireworks display. Is that too much to ask for? more on that in a second, first... a psa)

-If you see a script for sale and are unsure if it’s legit (or believe it might already be freely available in our collection), please feel free to ask us for advice. Our goal is to make as much of our fandom history available to the entire fandom, and we absolutely do not want anyone shelling out money for stuff you can already find for free.

(seriously, we’ve seen a bunch of resellers cropping up selling printed versions of the scripts we bought and uploaded for everyone to enjoy free of charge, or scripts that are otherwise of dubious origin. We’ve been at this for years now and know what’s actually out there. We don’t want anyone to fall for a scam if we can help it)

-Also, the usual reminder that the scripts we acquire ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE FINAL SHOOTING DRAFTS. In fact, the majority of scripts in our collection are NOT. Changes are made daily to scripts, even during filming. Comparing a Production Draft (white pages, effectively the first “final draft” of what usually becomes a series of drafts before filming wraps) to a much later revision (say... green or goldenrod revisions, several of which we DO have in our collection for comparison) and how those earlier drafts often differ wildly from the aired version versus how similar a much later green draft is to the aired version, for example, can teach you a lot about the television writing process. The link above to the superwiki scripts page has a nice little explainer about how this process works.

Differences between our posted scripts (many of which are white drafts, aka FIRST complete drafts, which will likely go through multiple rounds of revisions before filming even begins) and the aired version of the show are not all “acting choices” or a director or editor just cutting whole scenes on a whim. It’s insulting to everyone involved in production to suggest that’s the case.

(and yeah, fine... whatever, make any sort of posts you like regarding how those changes came about, but at the very least understand that it’s not actually the truth about how any of this works. Don’t care that that’s not the truth and want to make the posts anyway because shitposting is fun and that’s the extent of your sense of humor? FINE! You’re entitled to do that! But at least you DO know the truth now, and hopefully so do the people who engage with your posts. Deliberate ignorance isn’t cute, smooth lions notwithstanding)

There’s probably a whole other post to be made on fandom tagging etiquette, but again I don’t really use the tags enough to know what’s going on with that whole situation. I’ve also probably left a lot of stuff out, so please feel free to add things I’ve overlooked.

Thanks also to @trisscar368 and @thayerkerbasy for help compiling this, too. They were kind enough to escort me through the park to feed these pigeons. Now I need to take them out for ice cream. :’D

So I guess welcome to the neighborhood. Make yourself at home, but like... try not to trash the place while you’re here. Some of us live here by choice, lol.

[bigbadredpanda]

Hi Panda! I saw a post mention that the reason why MXTX has LWJ and WWX say they are "husband and wife" is because there's not another noun for married couple in Mandarin. Is that really true?

Hi there! That’s a topic that was the subject of much controversy and misinformation that spread like wildfire... I’ve seen ExR being accused of pushing an agenda for translating 夫妻 (fuqi) as “husband and wife” (ch.112, 119) and people claiming that the proper translation is supposedly the gender-neutral “married couple”. That’s not how Chinese works, that’s not how translation works. One-to-one correspondences between languages do not exist and words come with a linguistic and cultural context, not from a vacuum.

夫 is “husband”, 妻 is “wife”, together they mean both “husband and wife” and “married couple”. It is extremely common in Chinese to form compound words by juxtaposing or opposing two characters to refer to a broader concept encompassing the individual characters. To quote a few examples, 父母 (father+mother) refers to “parents”, 大小 (big+small) means “size”, 荣辱 (honour+disgrace) is “reputation”, the list goes on and on.

Having “husband+wife” as “married couple” and “father+mother” as “parents” is of course heteronormative but it’s also a reflection of what society was and still is to this day. New words were coined to refer to same-sex couples such as 夫夫 (fufu, husband+husband) but that’s modern terminology. It might be worthwhile to bring up the fact that 夫夫 is used multiple times by MXTX to refer to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji outside of the novel itself. It’s on the webnovel frontpage as well as several chapter blurbs:

夫夫双双把山下 “The pair of husbands leave the mountain” (chapter blurb 20)

夫夫齐斩辣鸡洋，星岚箐尘埃落定。义城篇，完。”The husbands chop up trash [Xue] Yang, aftermath of [Xiao] Xing[chen], [Song] Lan and [A-]Qing, end of the Yi City arc”, there’s a pun in there as “trash” (垃圾 lājī) is written as the homophonous “spicy chicken” (辣鸡 làjī) (chapter blurb 42)

夫夫吃糖日常, ”Husbands eating sweets everyday”, eating sweets is internet slang for public displays of affection. (chapter blurb 116)

These are all written in a humorous and light-hearted way as you can see. This kind of tongue-in-cheek author notes don’t make it in physical copies when novels get published but they’re representative of the very casual tone full of slang allusions on webnovel platforms where novel recaps sort of sound like shitposts. With that said, I would be remiss not to mention that the blurb of chapter 7 is 霸道含光君的疯癫小逃妻？？？, “The overbearing Hanguang-Jun’s crazy runaway wife???”. This sounds terribly awkward but it’s referencing stereotypical characters in het romances such as the pushy CEO and the young woman who is wary at first but then fall madly in love with him. You know the type. There are plenty of those in novels written by Western authors as well.

While Chinese is not outwardly a particularly gendered language (no grammatical gender with distinct masculine and feminine forms as it is common in many Indo-European languages and other language families), it is a language in which social roles and positions are heavily codified as seen through the use of honorifics and this social divide intersects with male/female differentiation. For instance, there is a number of characters that can be used to signify “to marry”, like the gender-specific 娶 or 嫁 depending on whether the subject is a man or woman, the first character is composed of “取 take+ 女 woman” and the second of “女 woman + 家 home/family”. As I mentioned here, marriage was not equal in ancient times as the bride was leaving her family and entering her husband’s household. At the end of the novel, Wei Wuxian effectively marries into the Gusu Lan Sect, thus holding the social position that would traditionally be the wife’s part. What is interesting however is that the story and the main characters deconstruct typical gender roles. As I was saying, the Chinese language itself might not ostensibly gendered but Chinese traditional society certainly was. There’s a saying that goes 男耕女织, “Men plough and women weave” to describe pastoral life. That should remind you of Wei Wuxian’s dream (ch.67, 117), he has no qualms imaging himself as the one working the fields and doing outdoor labour while Lan Wangji stays in their little cottage and does the housekeeping.

I’m finally coming back to your original question after a long-winded detour, are there other ways to refer to a married couple in Chinese besides the “husband+wife” 夫妻? Of course there are but 夫妻 is the most commonplace denomination. You have the similar 夫妇 (also “husband+wife”). 配偶 (”join+mate”) means “spouse” but that’s a term mostly used in the written language and not in the vernacular. There is the more literary 伉俪 (“matching+couple”) but that’s even more out of place in everyday speech (even if it were to be said by someone as articulate as Lan Wangji). If we want something more figurative, we have 鸳侣 (”mandarin duck+companion”), the equivalent of “lovebirds”. I’m sure there are many, many more synonyms. Then why is Lan Wangji using 夫妻 and not a more overtly gender-neutral option? Why doesn’t he say something like 我们已经结婚了, “We are already married” (this “marry” is written as “to unite/to form+wedding” and is not gender-specific)? Because what he says is context-wise appropriate and not problematic in the original Chinese.

[gangrenados]

Why you and the batboys broke up! (Zodiac edition)

Jason's nsfw alphabet is taking more than expected, so here you have a little stupid thing!

This is basically a shitpost so some of this are kinda ooc lol

Aries: You and Damian broke up because the fights were getting exhausting.

You both were tired to argue every damn time, it was draining your energy and making life seem gloomy and tiring. Even when you still loved each other, you decided that breaking up was the best option.

Taurus: The reason was that Dick didn't felt the same way towards you, he didn't loved you anymore, at least not in the romantic way.

Dick let you know that he still loved you and cared deeply about you, but as a friend and he didn't wanted to keep going with this relationship because he would be lying to you.

Virgo: Tim fell in love with someone else while still being with you, but do you wanna know the worst part? He wanted to keep it a secret because he didn't wanted your relationship to end.

However, big secrets like this can't stay in the dark for too long. One day a big fight broke between you two after finding some interesting conversations in Tim's phone and well, you broke up with him.

Cancer: Having to handle the 'partner of the vigilante' lifestyle was becoming too much for you.

You loved Bruce deeply, but you were tired to not knowing if he would come back after going out as the big bat and knowing that all of those psychos were trying to harm him and those who cared about him was messing with your sanity.

So one day you decided to leave, leaving a very broken Bruce behind.

Geminis: You and Jason had very different views of life and what you wanted from it.

Everything was so nice until the day of talking about the future came and caused chaos. You didn't wanted to live your life the way Jason wanted and he didn't wanted to back off.

You decided to breake up before everything escalate to something more horrible.

Libra: You were someone really important in Duke's life, he loved you to the core and would have done anything for you. However, he had to forget about those love promises after some villain decided to threaten him with killing you.

It was really painful for Duke to break up with you, but he promised it was for the best because he wanted you to have a great life even if he can't be part of it.

Aquarius: Jason cheated on you the night before coming home from a long mission.

Did he just missed being with someone physically or was that person really similar to you? He honestly don't know and the memories are confusing since he was really drunk, but one thing he's sure about is that he's an asshole for doing this kind of thing to the person he loves with his whole life.

He broke up with you after confessing what he had done. The memory of seeing you crying so helplessly still haunts Jason.

Scorpio: Damian completely lost his interest in you.

He just stopped feeling something, there wasn't anything in his heart that beg him to stay by your side. You just was a constant and the human touch he needed to life until Damian decided that he didn't needed that anymore.

Pisces: Dick used you to get information for a mission.

He was never interested in you or what you had to say, to him you just were a kind and easy to manipulate person who appeared in his life to make his current mission easier.

Capricorn: Duke wanted to re-evaluate his life and decided what was better for him. It has been days since he was feeling off and his mind was getting messier with time.

He didn't wanted to keep living like this and lashing on you anytime you tried to talk about the issue with him was getting annoying.

Sagittarius: It was pitiful the day you found Tim sleeping with another person, you still can't erase that memory from your mind.

You were angry when the time to discuss about the issue came, tears were falling freely as you kept ranting about how mad you were, while Tim in the other hand couldn't even look you in the eyes.

Leo: Bruce was becoming a little bit too paranoid with your safety and honestly it was suffocating.

You knew that dating someone like him was dangerous, that many people is behind him to get him killed and that his life is always on the line, but you also knew what signed up for. However, Bruce didn't see it that way.

So after finding out the tracker he implanted on you one day, you decided that it was better to get away from this relationship.

[effei-s]

your fave is a rapist, deal with it (part 1).

I wanted to talk about the way mafi handles sensitive topics (sexual assault and violence against women in general) for a very long time. But I had some doubts about it. Do I really need to do this? Is this even be useful or would I just waste my time shouting into the void? Because I tried to start this conversation on twitter about a year ago and… it didn’t go well. So I decided to focus on something more positive, like shitposting and writing fanfiction and creating headcanons and blah-blah-blah. But today all hell broke lose and I saw 20 threads on twitter explaining how sexual assault was actually juliette’s fault. Treads and tweets that were getting 500+ likes each and god knows how many comments under them agreeing with this line of thinking.

And as a cherry on top: the girl who tweeted the original tweet (when she apparently said that it was a sexual assault) got bullied by the fandom so bad, she needed to go private.

So let’s reread THAT scene in shatter me, and parts of destroy me and unravel me that touch this topic, to see who’s right. Maybe this girl was actually wrong and maybe she just misjudged the whole situation and she deserved to be bullied for spreading this awful misinformation about our king AARON aka the man who invented feminism itself WARNER (minor spoilers: she wasn’t and she didn’t).

  We need a little bit of context here. The books are old. They were written in 2011. It was the golden time of Gossip girl and Vampire diaries. Chuck Bass and Damon Salvatore were walking around assaulting women left and right and everyone loved them (off the topic, but i’m 99% sure that Chuck was a blueprint for Warner, there’s way too many similarities between them). In 2011 it was NORMAL and even considered sexy (trust me, I was one of those people, those were dark times). So it’s not surprising that there is a sexual assault scene in book, it’s surprising that in 2021, when everyone is a feminist, after the metoo movement, when there’s so much info about all kinds of abuse and red flags and there are stories of survivors, we still blame women for bad thing that happened to them.

There’s gonna be quotes (a shittone of quotes) because that’s who I am, and because you can’t really argue with the source material???? Everything is there, on the surface. All you have to do is READ.

To give you a type of discourse around this:

(it’s a google translate but it’ll do, and i’m not gonna show any un, because that’s what stupid bitches, who bully other people because of the book character, do)

The main point, the main argument, is that Warner has a super power and he feels EVERYTHING JULIETTE FEELS! So he would never hurt her.

Let’s see what she feels:

(btw, it’s chapter 39, shatter me)  

Warner drops his hand. His glassy green eyes are so delighted I’m petrified.

Warner backs me into a corner and I realize I’ve never been so defenseless in my life. Never so vulnerable.

“We can really be together,” he says to me, undeterred by my silence. He pulls me close, too close. I’m frozen in five hundred layers of fear. Stunned in grief, in disbelief.

My brain is on fire, ready to explode from the impossibility of this moment. I feel like I’m watching it happen, detached from my own body, incapable of intervening.

Yes, she definitely want to have sex with him! She’s incredibly aroused by him.

“I want you to choose me,” he says. “I want you to choose to be with me. I want you to want this—”

Oh, look, he KNOWS she doesn’t want him. And he doesn’t give a flying fuck about it.

“You’re only afraid of what you’re capable of. Admit it. We’re perfect for each other. You want the power. You love the feel of a weapon in your hand. You’re . . . attracted to me.”

Do I even need to comment this shit?

JULIETTE TELLS HIM NO. WARNER STILL DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK.

So she tries to communicate non-verbal:

I try to swing my fist but he catches my arms. Pins them to my sides. Presses me up against the wall.

Because that what you do when someone want to have sex with you. You force them to stay.

“Don’t lie to yourself, Juliette. You’re going to come back with me whether you like it or not.”

HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HER CONSENT, exhibit number 3.

“But you can choose to want it. You can choose to enjoy it—”  

I really don’t know what can scream RAPIST louder than this. You can choose…

Like… he knows. He. Knows.

“I will never,” I breathe, broken. “You’re sick—you’re a sick, twisted monster—”

“That’s not the right answer,” he says, and seems genuinely disappointed.

(I have to confess, I haven’t read this book in a long time, I forget how awful this scene really was. how the fuck someone can see consent HERE???? you need to check your eyes, people. And maybe buy yourself a new brain with working “critical thinking” function)

His nose brushes the nape of my neck and I stifle a horrified shiver that he misunderstands. His lips touch my skin and I actually whimper.

I feel a thrill of hope. A thrill of horror. Brace myself for what I need to do.

SHE DEFINITELY WANTS TO HAVE SEX! CAN’T YOU SEE IT?

I swallow the vomit threatening to give me away.

“I’ll be good to you,” he whispers. “I’ll be so good to you, Juliette. I promise.”  

Ew, gross.He’s fucking creppy. 

I’m so stunned, so horrified, so cocooned in insanity I forget myself. I stand there frozen, disgusted. My hands slip from his chest. I nearly shove him off of me. But Warner will not be discouraged.

Warner. Feels. Everything. She. Feels.

So there’s three options:

he’s a rapist who doesn’t give a fuck about her consent:

he’s a stupid rapist who thinks that wanting to vomit and being ashamed and terrified is part of a foreplay;

he’s never being with the woman before, so he can’t recognize VERY OBVIOUS signs that she doesn’t want to have sex due to his inexperience, and it still makes him a rapist.

No matter how you put it, the result is always the same: this scene is an attempted rape, and if you say that Juliette is at fault because she had to pretend to like it, you’re a rapist apologist.

(I covered destroy me and unravel me in part two and three because it’s getting way too long)

[inquisitorhierarch]

anyway I’ve been meaning to make this post for a while but. I really think people should… consider giving up on the blorbo meme. or at least be more cautious about using it

the whole thing already always felt extremely inorganic and manufactured to me, partially because the very first post mentioning it that I ever saw was a post saying that everyone was talking about it –  which is always Odd when you’ve not seen anyone talking about it – but the fact that the meme really took off literally JUST after we saw news that some guy has plans to make tumblr profitable by really hunkering down and hardcore targeting advertising based on fandoms is uh……… Suspicious, to say the least

like all of a sudden people were putting tags related to fandom media on posts that had nothing to do with fandoms, to the point where people have been begging people to stop tagging personal posts with blorbo shit. kinda convenient if your whole goal is to specifically make the fandom spaces of the website make money for you, huh?

like. I can’t prove that the whole thing was created or at least pushed by corporate marketing strategists but it’s literally so useful to them either way that it doesn’t even matter if it was or not. all they need to do now is go to Any popular shitpost and analyse the tags, and hey presto they have a whole dataset containing a list of characters that all share some amount of similar traits and can be cross-marketed to people who like/engage with any/all of the other damn blorbos being tagged on that post. (the fact that the meme comes pre-loaded with categorisation into shows/games/other media is also just so handy!)

“well that won’t work on me, I only care about My blorbos, I won't watch something just because a character is similar” you’re forgetting that we live in a technological dystopia.

the entire driving force behind fucking metaverse crossovers from the perspective of the corporations organising them is to share their audiences around. maybe you don’t give a damn about someone else’s blorbo right now… but will your tune change if there’s a metaverse crossover where they have a heartwarming team up with yours (based on analysis of advertising datasets that indicate a potential for transferral of interest between the two/however many others due to fandom tags)? 

how many people with 0 prior interest in the mcu went to see fucking no way home just to see spidergarfield or spidermaguire or even doc ock again? how many of those who did so are now more favourably disposed towards the mcu?

anyway. I dunno. I’m sure people will just call me a killjoy but I do think it’s worth considering. If you actually are against making tumblr profitable like everyone claimed to be, maybe be a bit wary about drawing a target for advertisers on your back… that’s all I’m saying

[mindstriker]

Things that really bring out the Obey Me! characters sins in full force except some of them are taken more seriously than others because I have the attention span of a gerbil and can only go 5 minutes without shitposting:

Lucifer: Literally the SLIGHTEST perceived crack in his perfection would set him off. Like, if this man tripped ever so slightly in the hallway and thought someone saw him embarrass himself like that, it would be enough to make him go into ultra-perfectionist mode for the next week and a half. He'd also probably be in a bad mood for a while, as I think his pride makes him upset when he thinks he's been perceived as anything but a superior being.

Mammon: One word: advertisements. If this man sees an ad that successfully portrays a product, no matter what it is, as something highly desirable and enjoyable to have, his brain will go APESHIT and he'll probably book it to the nearest slots machine in the hopes of winning enough to buy whatever it is. If he gets particularly sold on something, he'll want it so badly that he might even buy it multiple times, just to sate his greed.

Leviathan: A surprisingly wide variety of things, but especially:

a) seeing people succeed at things he finds interesting/cares about

b) perceiving someone else at being "better" at one of his interests

These seem pretty similar, but they're different in a way- I think Leviathan's envy would easily take ahold of him witnessing other people do well at something he cares about (whether that means seeing someone with a great team in an MMO or posting pictures of a stunning cosplay they made). It doesn't matter how good he is himself at those things, seeing other people do well at them also will immediately make him bitterly jealous. Instead of taking it out on other people, though, Leviathan mostly tends to take this jealousy out on himself, which usually ends up with him convincing himself that he's not talented in the slightest. Then, if someone ends up beating him/being better than him at something he cares about ( like during the TSL trivia competition ), that jealousy will manifest as anger, and that's the point at which he'll start to lash out at other people, angry because he perceives them as rubbing their superiority to him in his face.

TLDR: Levi is one of my favourites but I'm 99% sure it's canon that losing a singular Fortnite match would deal a critical hit to his already abysmal self-esteem, considering his envy motivates him to see everyone around him as better than him by nature.

Satan: He's great at controlling his behaviour until he stubs his toe or something. Then, in that case, whatever piece of furniture was responsible is absolutely getting heaved out a window while on fire. I feel like Satan exerts a wondrous amount of self-control when it comes to unleashing his wrath on people who anger him ( although he definitely feels the anger, he just doesn't act on it, I bet ) but would have absolutely NO such filter with objects/ property. If he fell down a flight of stairs, and got embarrased/ angered by being humiliated by the fall, I think the entire building would be demolished.

TLDR: Local man is relatively good at not beating the tar out of fellow individuals, utterly fails at restraining his desire to throw a chair that bothers him out a window.

Asmodeus: Looking at himself in the mirror <3

Beel: Making food himself. He's never felt a stronger desire to eat then when he's making his own favourite dishes, and smelling all the lovely scents they make when in the process of cooking. If he's cooking for others, he'll absolutely have to restrain himself from eating *all* the food he prepared.

Belphegor: His sin is just kinda at full force at all times, but I feel like getting out of bed in the mornings would especially bring it out in full force. I feel like Belphie just wakes up sometimes and just doesn't move from his spot in bed to go to school or anything until he genuinely *has* to get up (either because Lucifer is probably on his ass, or he has to use the bathroom or something ). Also probably just purposefully doesn't do his homework because he can't be bothered.

[cowboylarries]

Ok you asked me to do h&l as cars characters and that shitpost is in the works but i know you heard @swimmingleo in the tags

I raise you: ot5 as cars. Enlighten us all please. Extra points for aesthetic value.

you asked and i am delivering. although im not sure if i can top your answer to mine. sorry to everyone who hates us by now, but this is the last one and then we will be out of your grill (get it?).

alright. ot5 as cars under the cut. leave if you hate cars.

starting us off is niall! mater is the obvious choice here. i fully believe in my heart that they are the same.

mater loves having fun and is goofy and makes people laugh, just like niall. he has his sensitive spots and he is in touch with his emotions, although i can't be certain to say the same for niall. mater loves backwards driving and tractor tipping and you can't convince me that niall wouldn't try tractor tipping if someone asked. also, a direct quote from the cars wiki says, "[Mater] is also a very non-judgemental person" which goes hand in hand with niall's hit, no judgment. plus flicker is country, i don't care what anyone else says.

next up is liam! he is mack without a shadow of a doubt.

just look at those grins!! mack is the most loyal and selfless character in the movie because he agrees to drive across the country with no sleep so that lightning can make it to the race track first even though he knows he's going to fall asleep. he also pushes lightning to fulfill his sponsorship with rust-eze even though lightning hates it which feels like big lima cap energy (not me bringing astrology into this). mack likes to have fun while on the job but he doesn't let it distract him (for the most part). also liam is the most built out of the boys and mack is an 18-wheeler so it feels right.

okay zayn's turn. he was hard to pin down because i couldn't quite decide what direction i wanted it to go in. but ultimately i decided on doc hudson.

so hear me out. doc is the most private character in the movie and he doesn't talk about his past to anyone. he is friendly enough to the people living in his town but he doesn't like the idea of opening up to strangers. i feel like zayn is the same way. he is very private, like living on a farm in rural pa private but he enjoys spending his time with his family and the people that mean a lot to him. also doc doesn't say much but when he does, you better listen. both of them like to have fun too but it has to be on their terms with their selected people. also that 2014 amas curl is just giving me doc hudson.

okay here come the hardest parts. i agree that fillmore is harry, like those doe eyes are almost too much BUT when i first sent the ask to you i had someone else in mind. flo. harry is flo.

i mean just look at her. and maybe it's just the fine line era outfits that have me mesmerized but you can't deny there's some similarity here. flo is kind and cares a lot about her customers that come to her cafe and even though she is a transplant, she cares about radiator springs a lot too. she is very helpful to others and is always looking out for her friends. her license plate reads "SHO GRL" which just makes sense with harry being the pop princess that he is. they both can get a bit sassy if needed, but everyone knows that they care about them deep down. also take a look at those tailfins!

and last but certainly not least is louis. he was another tricky one to pin down but then i saw him next to sally and my mind was made up.

sally is passionate and committed to her cause of restoring radiator springs no matter what just like i can imagine that louis is with anything he puts his mind to. she is a transplant to radiator springs who missed the heyday of the neon and she is dedicated to making it a place on the map again. also she calls lightning "stickers", who else calls their love interest by nicknames only?? they are both often judged and underestimated by others only to prove them wrong. and once you get past that hard exterior, there's a soft human on the inside (manifesto, in case you didn't get the reference). also did i mention the baby blues?????!!!? AND the ass tatts??

whew. it's a lot to take in but i'm glad you asked because i wholeheartedly stand by every point i made here. boogity boogity bitches.

[system-of-a-feather]

Please don’t say you *want* DID /OSDD

I am sure a large majority of the people that follow this blog and that this will reach probably should already know this and probably do already know this, but I’ve recently seen “Subliminals to Get Dissociative Identity Disorder” coming up and people claiming how they want it to “try a new coping mechanism” or “help them with their depression” and I really do understand the draw and the idea towards how DID / OSDD might seem easy or an enjoyable escape to serious mental health issues. 

I really do - prior to understanding my condition - I (or at least someone in the system since I know it from our old journal notes) said “Wow haha I wish I had someone who could take over my life and give me a new life” and “I wish I could just become someone else”

The idea of having “internal friends” and “internal parts” that can support you and regularly know what you need and can help you and be a great wonderful family and all that is relaxing and enjoyable. Having people that you know are “stuck with you” might help with social anxiety or depression or abandonment issues and having those parts to talk about interest with might sound great. Honestly, they are some of the highlights of having good communication with a part and similar. Those are the aspects a lot of systems like to show because a lot of systems don’t want to show the ugly ugly moments. 

It’s not easy, fun, comfortable, or safe to talk about all the dangerous and negative moments that come with it or the active struggle and stress that comes just casually and usually with this disorder.

Its not a fun hug box of family members and friends all the time and it sure as hell didn’t start that way. Our system talks and has a lot of aspects in order so from time to time if you read this blog, we might sound like a loving family that shitposts at one another and supports eachother through the worst time - and yeah we do because we spent years trying to understand one another and find a method that worked - but the conflicts that come with it, the loss of autonomy, the loss of individual self, the arguments about how 12+ “different people” (as that is what it feels like even thoguh it is parts) are supposed to share one single life where not every dream and goal can be met, the regular upheval of trauma and unplesant memories, the realization of just how much trauma is the basis for most of our very existence and consciousness, the general C-PTSD symptoms, the time loss, the lack of awareness of what had happened the day, so on and so forth.

Some alter’s don’t work well with the system. Some alters don’t establish boundaries with other alters. Some alters intentionally or otherwise take advantage of others. Some alters hurt the body. Some alters cause more trauma. Some alters just don’t function well. Some alters never “get to live” their life. 

I know it sounds helpful to have people living in your head and to be able to not exist when you are depressed, stressed, lonely, etc - but there is so much loss that comes with the disorder to get that break. It is a disorder brought upon by childhood trauma - a disorder where the prerequisite is practically having lost your childhood and the result is spending your adulthood trying to fix it.

It really isn’t fun and it isn’t easy and behind a lot of smiles, hugs, and mutual appreciation, there is a lot of struggle, difficultly, loss, debilitation, and pain that comes from it. I don’t hate having DID because I’ve adjusted to it and its the life that I am used to and the only life I know and I never had a choice to have it or not, but that doesn’t mean it is something you should want or desire. It isn’t a choice people have to make. 

You can’t choose to have DID and saying you got DID intentionally is just rude and insulting to those of us who had it forced upon us through repeated childhood trauma.

Please don’t say you want to have DID. Please don’t “intentionally become a system.”

If you want DID, I understand where you are coming from, but please know that it is romanticizing and idealizing a really really hard thing to deal with and please know there are a lot better ways to handle and cope than to try to dissociate from yourself. 

LARPing and acting has shown to help people with PTSD and depression to get a place where they don’t have to feel like themselves and where they can build connections with others. Pick up an art form, write a story to express yourself. I know it is probably hard, but please find something else to try to cope. Reach out to a friend if you can, talk to a professional if you can. 

Just please don’t say you want DID. It really isn’t half as nice as it sounds.

[nikatyler]

random questions game

Tagged by @kbeesims. Thank you very much! I’m taking a break from studying rn, so let’s do this.

1. why did you choose your url?

Nika is actually one of the first things I’ve ever called myself as a kid and last year I decided to sort of “reclaim” this old nickname and start using it again in online places and I’m surprised by how right it feels.

As for Tyler, well. I think it’s obvious. In my head he’s the main character of this blog, the mascot, if you will. And also, and this is a bit embarrassing, but about a month or two ago I saw this post that was like “changing names shouldn’t be such a big deal, we expect trans people to do it if they’re uncomfortable with their birth name, but we should normalize EVERYONE changing their names if they’re not okay with it” (or something along these lines). And well, I like my name, but I thought, what if I didn’t like it, what would I pick instead. Immediately, this one popped up in my head. Yeah. I mean it makes sense to me, but it feels so dumb at the same time. So yeah. I guess if you called me Tyler, I would respond to it. I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that I would respond to it, but hey. It’s weird but it would work.

2. any sideblogs? name them and why you have them.

The only one that is still active is my cc finds blog @simmeronnie-cc (yes I need to rename it too, we’ll do that). I don’t really post on my sort-of-studyblr-but-more-like-a-rantblr sideblog or my simspiration blog anymore. Among other things, I rant on twitter again (@/nikatyler22 if anyone’s interested), and I need to bring back the simspo tag on this blog.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Almost five years. I refuse to believe that.

4. do you have a queue tag?

I do. Well, I schedule my posts manually, I don’t queue them (because earlier this year I noticed it would eat at least one post a day, so I stopped using it), but still. I don’t know what I’d do without this function haha

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

There was this blog that did this really cool comic with very pretty characters. That’s what convinced me lol, even though my content has never been like theirs.

6. why did you choose your icon?

Because Tyler lol

7. why did you choose your header?

Because Tyler and Sharon and I want to have what they have dAMMIT

But I might change the picture for the one I posted yesterday, you know, the awkward one

8. whats your post with the most notes?

That would be the pride paints post I believe!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I don’t know, but a lot I think? At least in the simple sense of “I follow you and you follow me.” I never counted it. I’m not sure how many people would actually consider me their mutual or online friend or something like that. I hope someone would haha

10. how many followers do you have?

Over 2 000. What the heck. I mean, not many people are actually active and I think most of them don’t even lurk, but it’s still a pretty cool number

11. how many people do you follow?

I checked and it’s 183. I can’t realistically keep up with all of them but at the same time I’d feel bad for unfollowing any of them

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

My entire blog is a big shitpost tbh, and I wouldn’t have it any other way ✌✨

13. how often do you use tumblr a day?

I usually keep the tab open all day and just check it from time to time. I’m not counting

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Oooooh boy

Yes. I was dumb, okay? Very dumb.

15.  how do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts?

Those scared me when I was younger, I remember I couldn’t sleep when I was like 8 and saw one of those “repost this or you’ll die in 7 days” pictures. Now I’m okay with them, I just scroll past. Usually. Sometimes I still get nervous. Don’t post them, guys. You can really hurt people with anxiety and similar issues.

16. do you like tag games?

Y E S

17. do you like ask games?

Y E S   Y E S   Y E S   PLEASE SEND ME ASKS

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

One that immediately comes to my mind is @berrysweetboutique. I can’t believe such a big simblr is following me and seeing my daily pixel clownery on their dash :D

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t, but back in the day, I used to sort of put some simblrs on pedestals and then act in a way that I thought they would like, if that makes sense, and I was really insecure about what they would think, and if we started talking I was so worried I’d say or do something wrong and it was all in all not a great experience. I know it’s not a crush in the romantic sense, but it reminds me of how sometimes you’d go and try to impress a crush and change yourself so that they like you too. I guess they were sort of crushes in the sense of “oh wow this person is so amazing and perfect, I’m so little next to them, they could probably never love me the same way I love them”. Anyway, once you let go of that mentality and just start doing whatever, without trying to impress anyone...oh that freedom is sweet.

Sorry, went off topic here 😅

20. tags?

I’m just gonna tag whoever wants to do this, go make another cup of coffee and go back to my 19th century poetry 😄

[moonsbeta]

Thank you for tagging me @dandyvespa 💖! I loved all these questions!! And I also enjoyed reading what you said!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I chose this url cause I’m a huge moon enthusiast, I’ve always gravitated towards the moon ever since I was a child (it’s always calmed and grounded me). And beta well, for multiple reasons! When it comes to writing I like to beta, and drawing I find beta work to be amazing. And lastly with abo dynamics I would totally be a beta lol! So all around I’m a beta when it comes to doing things. So hence moonsbeta!

2. Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them.

Nope! This is my only blog, and has been for awhile! Although this is not my first blog, I previously had two others (I think lol)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Since 2015 but on this blog since 2017, I believe!

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I do not!

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to start fresh! I wanted to create a blog where I could post about ALL my likings and not just one specific thing! To be able to post about multiple things but be organized and make it look nice hahaha!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I’m just in love with this picture of Jungkook! It’s probably one of my favorite pictures of him ever! I love how he looks, with his pretty face and features! His pout and pretty hair and eyes!

7. Why did you choose your header?

I chose it cause I definitely wanted something animated/a gif, probably from an anime. I also wanted it to be pink to go with my pink theme. And so waves seemed fitting and I found this one that just fits perfectly! I love how it looks like the waves lap into the actual background because the colors are so similar!

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

It’s this post I screen-recorded of Jin’s birthday live! It was my favorite part of the live and I found it so funny! So I’m happy it’s this one! I remember sitting and thinking what I should caption it lol I was so shocked to see that many notes!

https://moonsbeta.tumblr.com/post/189454488206/as-soon-as-jin-left-it-became-a-jungjihope

9. How many mutals do you have?

Around 3-4! 💕

I’m always down to have more but I’m terrible at communication/responding 😔

10. How many followers do you have?

282! <333

11. How many people do you follow?

492!! Damn I didn’t even know I followed that many, but all of them are 👌🏻

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Umm,,, I’m not sure! Maybe?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

I hadn’t been using it as frequently but recently I’ve been on here a bit more! Maybe once to three times a day!

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I haven’t! Not that I remember, even online I’m scared of confrontation LOL! I know that I have a private post that I made which is reallly long responding to someone that said some unnecessary stuff I disagreed with but I didn’t have the guts to post it publicly!

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I don’t like it when posts have that or are being too aggressive with a “you’re ‘this’ if you don’t reblog” cause I don’t want guilt-tripping to be the reason for a reblog.

also it makes my ocd act up and I become anxious if I don’t do it or don’t want to reblog cause I feel like something bad might happen and I don’t want anyone else to feel bad because calling people things will only diminish the real meaning behind those words and actual victims of those kinds of people, and make innocent people feel bad about themselves in the end.

16. So you like tag games?

I do! It makes me feel good when I get tagged, I love it! And I really enjoy reading what my mutual said and then responding with my own things!

17. Do you like ask games?

I do! But I’ve never done it personally although I would like to!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I feel like all of them lowkey have a pretty decent following lol!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t! I haven’t had a crush in yearss tho!

20. Tags?

Tag you’re it~ : @evannotoven @winwxn @jiminieloved @iuconic @soonhoonsol and anyone else who wants to do it (you can @ me too!!) I’m also adding @princebeomgyu <3