#sure would be nice if people could be happy for me going on T. instead of reacting like theyre at a goddamn funeral.

[a-small-safe-place]

New Addition

Platonic!Yandere Hannibal Lecter and Will Graham w/ Child!Reader

You knocked on the door of the large house Hannibal had picked out for him and Will to live in. It was out of the way from the town, so it was odd to receive a knock. Luckily, it was Will that answered rather than Hannibal. The other kids in town said the men who lived in this house liked to kidnap badly behaving girls and boys and eat them up like the witch in Hansel and Gretel. But this man didn’t seem scary. He seemed nice as he scolded their dogs for running out of the house.

“Hello, mister, I’m selling chocolate-covered pretzel sticks for my school and wanted to see if you would like to buy one?” You asked, trying to sound confident but sounding shaky instead. He didn’t seem to mind; he seemed happy you were there. “I happen to love chocolate-covered pretzels, but my husband thinks they are too simple to be a good treat. Let’s see what flavors you have.” He begins looking through the flavors you brought when his husband, Hannibal, silently walks up behind the other man. “Who is this?” He asks Will.

“Oh, this is… uh…” You stop him and introduce yourself and again explain why you are there. “This is quite a ways away from the town; surely you did not walk all the way here.” Hannibal questions. “No, sir, I rode my bike. I knew there were a few houses out this way, and I was determined to visit.”

Your determination pleases Hannibal but slightly concerns him. You’re an innocent child. You can’t be out riding your bike on these secluded roads. Will quits digging in the pretzel box, “I have to go get dog food anyway; I could bring you back to town. We will take the whole box of your pretzels since you came all this way out here.” Hannibal seems mildly annoyed by this. You remember that Will said Hannibal thinks they are too simple. Will leaves you alone with Hannibal to grab some cash. “Would you like to step inside? You’ll get sick out there.” Hannibal asks. You gratefully step in. “Your home is pretty.” You observe, earning a soft approving smile from Hannibal.

“Thank you, not many people your age appreciate style. Though you don’t seem like many people your age.” After he finishes talking, you try to stay quiet, and finally, Will returns, giving you the money for your entire box of pretzels. “Now I’m heading into town; would you like a ride?” Will offers. “Yes, please.” You tell him.

The ride back is quiet until he begins to talk. “Most kids avoid our house for their fundraisers. Do you know why?” You glance nervously, “I think it’s just too far.” It’s an obvious lie. “You don’t have to worry about being polite. I know there’s probably a crazy rumor about Hannibal and me.” You stay silent, but the silence is too loud to handle, “All the kids think you and Dr. Lecter like to kidnap and girls and boys and eat them up like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.”

“Well, maybe that’s why I needed all those sweet pretzels, so Dr. Lecter and I could finish building our cottage made of candy.” He seems a little sad at the revelation of this rumor. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have said anything.” He smiles and says, “Don’t worry about it. You could make it up to me by telling me how this rumor got started.”

“One of the boys that graduated high school last year told his little brother that he broke into your home on a dare and found human meat in the freezer, but he couldn’t go to the police because he was trespassing and he was high.” You finish explaining. Will smiles a bit, but it has a nervous edge this time, “Do you think we eat bad girls and boys?” You think about it, “no, because you had a bunch of times where you could have killed and eaten me.”

“Are you a bad kid?” Will asks teasingly. “I don’t know. I get in trouble sometimes. My house is in town away, in a trailer park.” Will knew which trailer park. It was “the bad part of town” he knew because he saw the crime statistics for that area and the number of times the cops are called out there. He had seen them the few times he and Hannibal helped with the local law. Hannibal had gotten close with the town’s political figures, and Will had basically been made into an honorary detective with the law enforcement. This town was corrupt to its core, but it was away from the prying eyes of the FBI, and it’s the only place Hannibal and Will could agree on geographically. Will’s only stipulation was that there were good places to fish.

Eventually, you make it to the trailer. Will waits until you make it inside. He cannot help but think about Abigail. He could have had a potential family with Hannibal if things had gone correctly. He was happy with Hannibal and the dogs, but something about you made him want more.

Weeks pass, and he does not bring the topic up to Hannibal. Little did he know Hannibal had been keeping an extra close eye on you. He did it under the guise of getting more pretzels for Will and then special ordering one of the unique flavors that you did not have so he could come back around to "check on the order." Will finds this all out when you see him in the store and give him the order Hannibal had placed.

"That kid from the other day gave me the order you placed," Will says placing the box on the table. "I thought you hated junk food."

"I do; they were a surprise for you. You seem to have taken a liking to the child." Hannibal observes. "They're a good kid. They kind of remind me of Abigail." The room becomes silent for a second too long. Hannibal hates it when Will brings up Abigail. "You seem to like the kid too. You went out of your way to find them to order the pretzels when there were plenty of easier options to order from." Hannibal knows he has been caught.

"They're a well-behaved child, very polite. Like Abigail." Hannibal says somewhat pointedly. "Have you thought about us expanding our family? Not with another dog, but with a human?" Hannibal asks before Will has time to respond to the first statement.

"I hadn't, and then that kid came knocking at the door, and since then, it is all I can think about. But I don't want any kid. Our kid from the trailer park seems to be the best fit; it has to be them." Will explains, hoping that Hannibal will understand.

"Then so be it; they will be our child for us to protect," Hannibal says as if this is a normal conversation.

As the two men begin to work on a plan to add you to their family, their fatherly love for you grows more into fatherly obsession. You're their kid; no one gets to hurt you. Once you're safe and comfortable in their home, no one but them will get to be around you until they know you love them just as much. Hannibal wastes no time putting your room together with all of your favorite things. They were going to make your room the same way it is in the trailer until Hannibal saw the state of your room and became disgusted by the idea of that kind of room being in his expensive house.

Will tries to make a plan to make your transition to their house easier. He finds all kinds of games and activities you are sure to love, even the ones that Hannibal is convinced are bad for your growing brain.

[rogueddie]

Make A Wish T | 654 words Prompt for @steddielovemonth: Love is making a birthday extra special

For as long as Steve can remember, Valentines has always been emphasized to him as a special day. A day full of love, and joy, and connection. A day where he could tell anyone that he loves them, even Tommy, and no one would give him so much as a glance.

It's been a while since he's been able to properly celebrate the day though. With the Upside Down, the constant fear that it would come back, that people would get hurt again, always buzzing in the back of his head...

Well, it never felt right.

But, now that it's finally and truly over? He's excited to celebrate. He has his soulmate, the best friend that he could ever wish for and loves with all his heart... and he might have a boyfriend.

"You will have a boyfriend," Robin corrects. "He's been flirting with you for months. If he doesn't make a move first, he'll be stumbling over himself to say yes."

She's right.

He rushes to agree to the date when Steve asks, stuttering in his hurry. But, instead of asking Steve what he has planned, he asks if he can surprise Steve.

"I was thinking about asking you, but... I don't know, I got too nervous, I guess. But it's a good idea, so..."

"Sure, yeah. It'll be nice to be on this end for once."

When Eddie picks him up, he insists that Steve sit in the back of the van so he can't see anything before they arrive.

He climbs over the seats when they do arrive, blindfolding him.

"This way, mind your step, just a little further..." Eddie mumbles, gently leading Steve. "Ok. You ready?"

"Yeah."

When he pulls the blindfold off, there's a burst of noise and color.

They're at the Byers new place. It's covered in decorations, confetti in the air, and everyone stood around cheering.

The banner has a bubbly, colorful, "happy birthday!" drawn on.

"Happy birthday," El says, the first to step up. She holds up a present. "I am very happy to know you."

"Oh. Thanks, El. But, uh..." He glances around, until finally finding Eddie tucked in a corner. "How did you know that today is my birthday?"

"Overheard some old flame of yours one time," Eddie explains. "She was convinced that you two were meant to be, entirely because you were born on valentine's day."

"Seriously?"

"Right?"

"Steve!" Dustin calls, waving him towards the kitchen. "Nevermind that! Come on, we made a cake! And there's presents, but we should do cake first!"

The kids, as it turns out, really did make the kids themselves. It's not bad either, especially after melted chocolate and whip cream is poured over it, almost drowning it.

The gifts from the kids are all homemade.

Steve is sure that they're the best gifts he's ever received.

"Happy birthday," Robin whispers, as she hugs him goodbye. "And good luck, yeah?"

"Won't need it," he whispers back. "This night is too perfect for it to fail now."

He decides to wait until they pull up outside his house. Then, if it works out? They can go inside. If it fails? Easy exit.

But, as soon as they pull up, Eddie beats him to the punch.

"Hey," he starts, nervous. "I hope you enjoyed today and-"

"I did. Really, it was amazing. Thanks, Ed. It means a lot, more than you can imagine."

"It was nothing. It's... I don't want to ruin that if you don't- I won't take it bad, is what I mean. I just think you should know, uh... you're so loved. By, uh, me."

"You love me?"

"Yeah, Steve. I really do, so much."

"I love you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, dumbass. I asked you on a date."

"... oh, fuck, you did."

Steve laughs, reaching over to grab his collar and drag him into a kiss.

It really is the perfect end to the perfect day.

[chaewon2000lover]

Return on investment. Part 1 of 2.

Male reader x Kim chaewon

2.5k words.

tags, wholesome, standing sex, pussy eating.

“Click” “Click” “Click”“Click”“Click” “Click” “Click “Click”“Click” “Click” “Click” “Click”

“Uhh, god finally done”

you look to the side past your many monitors and across your desk where your phone lays buzzing.

“Unforgiven I’m a villain, I’m a”

you swipe at it and it turns off.

“Huh, that always manages to cheer me up at the end of a hard day managing way to much of way to many peoples money, I’m so happy I made her new song my ‘work over’ alarm”

as you stand up to leave shortly after turning your seemingly endless wall of monitors off, you remember that checking your phone might be a good idea, considering that your girlfriend will be in New York soon.

“I know you just got done working, see you tomorrow xxx”

attached was a picture you were not completely sure you should be looking at right now as you walked down the halls towards the elevator, though as per usual you were probably the only human in the building.

“they should really just let me set up an office from my own home”

regardless you opened it.

“god I can’t wait to have her in my hands, her perfect perky breasts her slightly protruding hips attached to her perfect little butt, and sitting on top of all that what must be the most perfect face in the world currently adorned with an amazing expression” you think.

“hope you have that same outfit tomorrow 😍😍😍😳😳”

“haha I’ll see if they’ll lend it to me, maybe you could buy it🤔🤔🐯”

“Maybe maybe 🤔, How are you ever going to pay me back for this🤔🤔”

“you’ll find out exactly how tomorrow❤️‍🔥”

“Ohh yeah, what can you do for me that I can’t just buy?”

“This

I know how much you want to touch and hold this”

“an older one i like it”

“And also these abs, I know you can’t buy any common whore in America or anywhere with abs as nice as mine or a face as lovely”

“did the sweet Angel just say whore”

“Tomorrow I won’t just say it”

“Okay chae as per usual you win, I don’t need to blow my load while driving”

“your driving, why didn’t you put it on voice call yet?”

“I thought you were with your members?”

“ohh yeah, that’s true😙”

“You know what, chae if you weren’t so incredibly adorable you would be so annoying to deal with”

“Hey, that maybe be true but you best treat me nicer tomorrow, especially if you want this adorable idol to be yours to play with”

“okay I’m sorry chae😥😥, but remember who paid to upgrade your flight and who paid to put you and your members in the top suite”

“okay, sorry how about we settle it tomorrow?❤️‍🔥, also all the girls are loving it, though they won’t stop asking me who paid for it”

“just tell them it’s an adoring fan, or even better your sugar daddy😳😹😹”

“whatever, are you still driving?”

“yeah it’s a long way around NY, I’ll show you tomorrow”

“I’ll look forward to it love you xxx”

“love you to xxxx”

As you fell asleep, all you were able to think about is her body and how it will feel, you’d been nervous before but nothing can compare to this feeling.

And now the day has finally come you stand outside the venue, leaning against your favourite car a new Ferrari 296 GT3 barely road legal and not the most comfortable but it sure does draw a lot of looks and it would right now if you weren’t in a remote part of the parking lot.

“hopefully chae won’t be able to notice how little sleep I got” You think aloud to yourself.

You just learnt what can top the nerves from last night, the nerves you are feeling as you see a little speck getting closer, slowly it becomes bigger brighter and more human like, as you can begin to properly make it out, you know its her getting closer and closer you can recognise the outfit she’s wearing, and chuckle a little to yourself.

“Baby, you got the outfit, how much is it gonna cost me” you quip.

she doesn’t reply instead she just jumps into you, to which of course you open your arms and wrap them around her.

“Your so warm”

“thanks chae it’s good to know that I’m a effective hot pack”

you lift her up and swing her tiny frame around a little before kissing her, your mouth barely touching hers as you spin her around.

“mmh”

with that little sound from her you place her down.

and bend down to kiss her on the cheek.

“get in the car let’s go to a restaurant then we can get back to my place”

“What kind of restaurant?”

“whatever kind you want? This is New York you can get anything you want, at least if you know the right person and you’ve got the money and trust me I’ve got both”

“ohh yeah, you make it sound like your in the mafia” she giggles

“Well I’ve got all the connections to be, it kinda comes with the job”

“Okay bad boy” she giggles “why don’t we have some Italian then”

“you really want me to be in the mafia eh, but yeah sure”

“I can see why you became a fund manager now” she quips

“why because I’m so charismatic“ you say as you start the car and it roars to life.

“no, it’s because your jokes are terrible, so your better off being serious, it suits you well” she says giggling.

“wow thanks chae, maybe I’ll show you how serious I can get later” you say slightly seductively.

“Maybe” she says as you look to the side to see that she’s taken her hat off and placed it on the dash.

You pat her head, and run your fingers through her hair “god I still can’t believe your finally sitting next to me”

“Neither can I”

“you know chae, you really are quite small” you say while looking straight ahead focusing on controlling this far to fast car.

“well your not that big either, how tall even are you” chae says with a tinge of offence and a small pout on her face.

“ohh yeah, let’s see about that in a few” you say with a suggesting tone, “also I’m 5,9 thank you very much”

Chae blushes a bit and then says “hmm must be how skinny you are”

“I prefer lean” you say feigning offence, “maybe we’ll see what you really think of my body later”

Chae giggles and nods

then she says something that surprises you. “Did you sleep last night?”

“you know I usually can’t sleep easily let alone well, 6-7 hours is my norm, what with the stress and anxiety from the billions of other peoples money i manage”, though you sort of forget to mention that last night you probably got 3 to 4 hours of sleep due to her.

Now you’re standing in front of a fancy Italian restaurant, with chae right next to you. “Don’t you think I’m not dressed up enough for this?” She says.

“maybe but who cares, there’s no need to worry about other people looking at you I booked a private booth”

“really, but it looks so expensive” she say’s almost hesitantly.

You nod “that’s because it is, but I think I’ll get my return soon enough”

she giggles “sure mafia man”

you chuckle and walk her in, past the lady at the front desk who points you to your booth, (which is just big enough to hide you two away in a corner).

as you two sit and eat dinner you talk about her tour, your investments (only for a little while) and more, she mainly talks about how nice the food is which your happy to hear, she even takes a few pictures (probably for her Instagram).

soon the hour or so flys by and you two are out and on the way back to your home.

eventually through the silence caused by the impending interest and excitement, you slow your Ferrari down and pull into the parking garage just outside your home.

“It’s uhh, just over there” you say with a dry cough and point her towards your place.

“Where?” she asks.

You grab her hand “oh whatever, don’t worry I’ll just take you, come on” you do just what you said you would and chaewon blushes instantly.

You lead her up into the elevator, “which floor are you on” she asks sweetly.

“Top floor” you reply only thinking about what your going to do once you get there.

A deafening silence falls upon you two, until you reach the top floor and you both spill towards your place, past some other apartments and towards yours.

as soon as you enter you grab chae by her shoulder, “take your top off” you say filled with desire.

she does as told and tosses her hat to the side, then you pull her gloves off, her shoes already lay at the entrance, she pushes you towards the bedroom and you drag her while only stopping to take the last bit of an article of clothing off.

until you arrive, her pushing you onto the bed in just a bra and panties and you underneath her with just your boxer shorts on.

“Versace, I like it” she giggles.

“thanks” you say with a grin.

you reverse the position and put her down on the bed flat on her back, then you slide down and teeth her panties off.

The first flick of your tongue hits her lower lips, making her shiver in anticipation.

“Ohh god, keep going” she beckons you.

You begin by licking, flicking and slurping away at her sweet pussy enjoying all the sweet sweat and pussy juices you can get.

her tightening caverns and vast folds capture your full interest as you do a deep dive into them, similar to how you dive head first into an promising investment opportunity, you thoroughly check and explore everything, what if I move my tongue like this over here, what about over there, what if I flick at this and then massage it gently, what does this part taste like, all these questions enter your head and you explore them without fail, making the sweet sexy lady you love writhe squirm and twitch in pleasure, her hands finding you head to twist your hair and push you further onto her, proving her love for your explorations, her own mouth to busy letting out sweet sensual sounds to form coherent confirmations.

your hands slide around behind her and grab at her cute rear, you squeeze it, toy with it, and fondle it all while still serving her front flawlessly, her cute body only serves a reply in the form of more squirming under your control, your every flick, lick, slurp, grab, squeeze, and touch elicits a sensual reaction from her.

Her being in this moment is the greatest mix of cute and sexy, the way she lulls you in further while still seeming to have no previous experience of her own, makes you both want to laugh and ravage her body.

You pull away from her deciding with her sensitivity that now is the best time to strike, you crawl up her body your hand back in front now playing with her small mounds instead of her cute ass, your tongue now sliding its way up her beautiful defined sweating body till it reaches her succulent mouth, and you lay just above her ready to impale her onto your cock whenever ready, “You ready baby” you ask into her ear.

“Please” she moans into yours, you gently bite down on her ear, and begin to slowly push your sizeable rod into her soft pussy.

“Ahh, ohh” she moans sweet but lustful, angelic but sultry moans into your perked ears.

you slowly pick the pace up pushing in and out of her slowly and delicately with deliberate intent and control behind each stroke similar to that of a master painter except instead of a brush you use your rod, and the picture you paint is that of great pleasure and beauty.

Your mouth latch’s back onto her’s, salvia being exchanged between them like the stocks you trade all day long, you explore your options that you now own inside her mouth, the returns look and more importantly feel great, you use your tongue to tug at and twirl around hers.

Your hands get more grabby, more aggressive, greed is common in what you do, and while you can control it all day long in this very moment you let it run wild, doing what you want with your hands, your mouth doing it’s thing too wildly exploring the most lucrative unexplored territory in history, even more then some gold mine in Peru.

You and Chae trade muffle moans and words of confirmation between your mouths, you bite down on her lips making her pussy twitch around your cock, clearly the roughness turns her on.

So you decide to rub and pinch her nipples, this pushes her and she gets hotter and hornier, the more you do the hungrier you get, and the closer you get too.

You decide to take what you want, so you wrap your hands around her and lift her off the bed, holding her in air, “ohh, god, what are you doing” she mumbles.

“giving you it as rough as you so want” you say before bringing her down slowly onto your cock, the angle changes the way it feels for both of you, for her it feels like being slowly impaled and she loves it, for you the mix of control and depth feels incredible.

You bounce her up and down faster and faster each time on top of your cock eliciting many sweet moans escaping her mouth.

you build till your at a rapid pace, slamming Chae’s body up and down on your cock making it disappear and then reappear again and again, her moans at a similarly rapid pace fill your expensive room.

“Chae I’m getting close” you say in one short puff of air.

“so, am, I” she moans having to gather her breath between each word.

Your mouths collide again like they are at war over ownership, your hands begin grabbing at the butt that they hold up, and you continue bouncing Chae up and down at a breakneck speed.

Her cute bum and lovely tongue push you closer and closer to your breaking point.

“oh my god, that’s so good” she moans in delight.

Soon you feel the need for release, so you throw Chae back up and then plunge her back down fully inserting her onto your rod, making her scream and start shooting her juices onto your body as you launch yours into hers.

As you come to an end riding out the high, Chaewon nestles her head into your neck, you feel her warm breath on your skin, as you both relax.

You whisper into her ear “Chae I’m going to work hard until the company lets me start working from home, and at that point I’m going to move to Korea.”

She giggles “okay, I’ll look forward to that mafia man.” And immediately after finishing her sentence she falls asleep on your shoulder.

You gently carry her to your bed and lie her down alongside yourself, and slowly you too drift to sleep, the only thing on your mind how much you love this woman.

To be continued.

[your-name-is-jim]

What a Kirk/Spock shipper sees in a Kirk/Female-Love-Interest story [PART 2/2]

Part 1 <- Please read Part 1 first. Part 2 won't make sense otherwise!

This panel is absolutely AMAZING and you all deserved to see it :D

So, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Laura just proposed.

As you can see, Jim is panicking not sure what to answer, so the first thing he does is calling his two best friends. There are so many things going on here; I'll try to mention everything I care about!

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

This is an important part of this comic: apparently, in this story Starfleet isn't encouraging relationships between officers with a different rank. I know it's sort of implied in canon too, but it's not always clear if it's actually against regulations or if it's fine when the ranks are close.

As a K/S shipper, this detail just gives me an in-universe reason why Jim and Spock aren't considering dating each other in this story: a commander can't probably have a relationship with a captain. I mean, we already know from canon TOS that Jim avoids relationships with the members of his crew, so this just adds a layer to a potential forbidden love story between them. Yeah, I know this isn't what this comic is trying to do, but what can I say? Fans don't stop shipping something just because they learn it's not allowed in-universe… if anything, they can find it more exciting! :D

"We could teach at the Academy. Mind you, she laughed at that idea."

Oh, wait. Jim actually talked to Laura about their possible future together! It looks like he's thinking about them as teachers at Starfleet Academy. Hmm… this sounds familiar:

2277 — Accepts appointment to Academy faculty, moves into San Francisco apartment

This is from Kirk's biography in Star Trek official website. Between The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan, Jim accepts a job at the Academy. We see it at the start of the second movie, after Saavik takes the Kobayashi Maru test.

Wait, who's the other teacher here? :D

Okay, okay, in that era Jim is an admiral and Spock is a captain, so their ranks are still different, but except for that… They both teach at the Academy. And it's literally what Jim proposed to his love interest Laura in the comic! With my Kirk/Spock goggles on, what I read in that panel is "If Laura and I got married, we could both do this thing that I'm totally going to do with Spock in the future." LOL

Did the comic creators notice the parallel? Probably not. However, we K/S shippers have special skills for finding accidental implications about our ship everywhere, so here it is :)

"Your thoughts, please, Mr. Spock."

I said I had a lot to say about that single panel, so of course I can't skip the last line! A human woman has just proposed to Jim, and what does Jim do? He asks for Spock's opinion. This says a lot about Jim and Spock's friendship, and it's very sweet on Jim's part, but it also makes me think about Jim's love life. What about Jim and Laura's romantic feelings for each other? Does Jim want to spend the rest of his life with her? Perhaps the reason they don't talk about it (not even with Bones!) is that it's implied that Jim loves her and she loves him, even if they never say it. However, I still think it's interesting that Jim's discussion on the matter is mostly "logical".

Anyway, I swear I won't post every single panel of this comic, but Spock's reply is an absolute gem you all must see:

"I AM SOMETHING OF AN EXPERT ON THE SUBJECT OF JAMES T. KIRK."

(dkjflsdjlkdjglk brb losing my mind again)

Ahem. Okay, Spock. Noted. Also, wow, nice make up. Did I say that the art in this comic is great? Good.

"I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I find interesting his use of "equal status" instead of the more specific "equal rank". Status makes me think less of their official position in Starfleet, and more of how two people actually see each other. It's not just about Laura and Jim being both captains; it's about them seeing each other as equals.

Anyway, Jim jokes about Bones and Spock finally agreeing about something, and the conversation continues.

Jim's best friends are both encouraging him to marry Laura. In this panel, I zoomed in on Bones because his words are especially interesting. Based on everything we've seen so far, it looks like having a romantic partner when you're in Starfleet is a pain in the ass in general in this comic; however, Bones is pointing out that for the first time, Jim has someone who really understands. Of course, that's because she's a Starfleet captain too.

About Spock, I won't share the entire conversation, but I just want to say that as a K/S shipper who likes to think Spock is secretly in love with Jim in this era, I find his dialogue where he's supporting Jim's relationship with Laura totally reasonable. It's important to remember that this comic takes place close to the end of the five-year mission. We know that Spock is going to run away after that, trying to erase all his emotions in Gol. So, in this specific part of his story, I find pretty in character that he'd tell Jim to find happiness with someone else. That's what he'd do, regardless of his own feelings.

So, Jim knows his two best friends think he should say "yes" to Laura. What happens next?

During a mission, Jim meets his ex Carol Marcus. She is surprised to find out that Jim is considering settling down. This is not completely related to this analysis, so I won't post it, but I found interesting that Carol knows about every single woman Jim dated before he became captain (the only one she doesn't name is Ruth), and she even says "And that woman in 1930, what was her name?" Just… how the hell does she know? LMAO

At least Jim hasn't told her about Miramanee and Rayna (well, technically he doesn't even remember the latter), but seriously, Carol does know a lot about Jim's private life, even if it's clear she doesn't want her or their son to be part of it. (Not really related to this plot, but in case you're confused about the timeline: David is a child in this era; however, he doesn't appear in this story.)

Anyway, this is what she eventually tells him:

So, I like to think that Carol is genuinely trying to help Jim here, because the spiteful ex girlfriend is another thing I don't really want to see in 2020. I want to think that the creators meant well; however, what happens in the story is that, despite Jim not seeing himself outside the captain's chair, and despite his best friends telling him to marry the captain that is just like him… Jim keeps thinking about Carol's words.

He knows from Starfleet that he's going to be promoted to admiral the moment he reaches Earth. What is interesting here is that Jim could refuse the promotion and be a captain with Laura. This is definitely a different situation from everything else I've seen before. It's obvious to anyone who has watched TOS movies that Jim is not happy as an admiral. He didn't really want to be one. He doesn't want to be one in this comic series either (you can see it explored in Star Trek: Year Five main story). However, thanks to The Motion Picture, we also know that he will accept promotion at the end of his five-year mission. This isn't a canon divergence story: the writers can't really change any major event, so they have to work with what canon offers.

What I find interesting is that in this 2020 comic, Jim finds himself in the opposite situation he is in Gene Roddenberry's The Motion Picture novelization from 1979. In Roddenberry's novel, it's mentioned briefly that Jim starts a relationship on Earth with a vice-admiral, a woman that was basically asked to use her charm to keep Jim grounded. Jim could refuse promotion, but he finds himself lost, without his ship, without Spock, and eventually without Bones. So he tries to convince himself that a life as an admiral with a perfect woman by his side will be good for him (it will not; Jim himself will realize a year later that his lover was an "Enterprise-surrogate").

Now, I understand trying to write something fresher and more modern in this Valentine's Day special, but I confess that I find a little hard to believe that Jim would accept a promotion as admiral if the alternative was keeping both a starship AND a wife. Also, let's not forget that Spock and Bones are both telling him to choose the married captain life. So, while I totally get from a writer's point of view that if you can't change canon, you have to work with what you have, I'm also not sure that Carol reminding Jim that he's always wanted to challenge himself is enough to make him doubt everything.

I guess I can sort of see that as part of a bigger problem: Jim knows he can't be a captain for life; during his first date with Laura, as we saw in Part 1 of my analysis, he talks about it.

"I've been thinking lately about whether I could ever stop being a Starfleet captain. Whether I could ever want to. A friend of mine talks about 'infinite diversity'. That applies to the Federation, too. But here I am, only built for one thing."

So, Jim knows he has probably avoided the subject for too long. Carol is forcing him to think about it. And, more implicitly, we could say Spock and his IDIC philosophy are also making him think, even if it's not what Spock would have expected. After all, Spock told Jim to marry Laura (in the comic), and he'll tell him that being a starship captain is his "first, best destiny" (in The Wrath of Khan).

Anyway, Jim eventually decides to meet Laura and talk to her about his personal concerns. First of all, we find out that the two of them haven't called each other for six weeks. Laura is still waiting for Jim's answer, and she didn't want to call him. If you ask me, their lack of communication is yet another a big clue that perhaps getting married is not a great idea.

Well, now Jim is at least trying to talk to her.

Aaand that's how she breaks up with him.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. I mean, in a sense, Jim doesn't say "I decided to be an admiral instead of marrying you", but Laura definitely sees it that way. I think he was genuinely looking for help, but that just proves that Laura isn't the right person for him. Why marrying someone you can't communicate with? They are such a great team as captains, but it looks like that doesn't apply to their relationship. I pointed out other clues in the previous parts, and now we got this. It's interesting to see that Jim in this comic can have a normal conversation about his future with Spock, Bones, and even Carol Marcus, but not with the person he's supposed to build a future with. Unless something changes between them, it can't work out.

Anyway, this isn't the end.

A year later, when Jim is an admiral on Earth, there's a sudden emergency. A miniature black hole appears out of the deep structure of the universe (don't blame me for the science, I'm literally quoting the comic LOL) and it's attracted to Earth gravity. Short story: they're all going to die, but fortunately the Drake (Laura's ship) can cause an anti-matter implosion that will shunt the black hole outside their reality. Unfortunately, that also means the Drake will have to go inside the black hole. Laura evacuates her crew and asks Admiral Kirk to give her the order to proceed. Reluctantly, Jim tells her that he knows she'll do it, and he gives the order.

Now, please appreciate The Motion Picture aesthetic:

Okay, I know I could have chosen a panel with Jim and Laura, since this is literally their love story, but I did say this analysis was going to be biased, so here is Laura with her two closest friends instead; they would never let her risk her life alone! <3 They are very obviously meant to be a parallel to what Spock and Bones are to Jim, which is very cute to see. Now, Laura, listen to me: I know the three of you have different ranks, but you may die in a few seconds… And I just think that the few times your friends appear in this comic, you have a lot of chemistry with them, sooo maybe you should forget about Jim and just smooch one of them, or both… just saying :)

Ahem. Anyway, after Laura and her girlfriends disappear into the void, there's another timeskip. This time it's 15 years.

Oh, damn.

I said in the premise of this analysis that one of the reasons I decided to read this comic despite shipping Kirk/Spock is that, in my headcanon, Kirk and Spock get together after The Motion Picture. Until this point, this comic hasn't really gone against my headcanon. I can genuinely believe that Jim had another girlfriend during his five-year mission; it's not a big deal. Unfortunately for me, this comic has its last part taking place around The Final Frontier era. Dammit.

Well, it's just one comic. I read until this point; it'd be illogical not to read until the end, right? Nah, it's not logic. It's human curiosity. I know I won't like it, but I still want to see it.

Also, if there's something that I really don't want to see in modern media anymore, is female characters dying just to make male characters suffer. I can accept that in TOS show because it was made in the 1960s, but even TOS movies got better about it! Characters like Saavik and Gillian can have their own lives without having to die for a man's pain. It's not a coincidence that the writers had to kill Spock to make Jim suffer. Without digressing too much, I just wanted to say that K/S bias aside, I went into this comic hoping to read something different from another dead woman for Jim. I'm very glad that, at least about this, the comic creators didn't disappoint me!

So, in this story, it's been 15 years since Laura's disappearance (actually, it should be more, but I'll try not to nitpick, despite being the trekkies' favorite hobby :D). Anyway, the one with the whales The Voyage Home happened, and Jim is not an admiral anymore. He's happy to have a starship again, but he hasn't stopped questioning his life decisions.

We can also see that, 15 years later, he's reading the book Laura liked.

HOLD IT! WAIT WAIT WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? WHAT THE--

*inhales deeply*

(Friendly reminder to myself that what is obvious to me may not be obvious to everyone else, so I need to explain. Fine. I'll try.)

The screenshots I posted are from The Wrath of Khan, right after Spock's funeral. What Jim is doing there is reading the end of the book that Spock gave him for his birthday. He's mourning Spock.

In the comic panel, Jim has a new pair of glasses, because it takes place a little later in the timeline. But, except for that…

It's the same scene.

The same fucking scene.

I mean, come on! I can't even post the "they're the same picture" meme, because it's not funny if they're literally the same picture! Even the bookmark is the same!

The comic creators literally took a canon scene about Jim reading Spock's book after Spock is gone, and they redrew it with Jim reading Laura's book after Laura is gone. In a Valentine's Day special. Where Laura is Jim's love interest. They made a romantic scene with Jim and a woman that was originally about Jim and Spock.

(Brb, I'm going to chew a pillow until I calm down.)

So. Well. If you wondered why I thought there was something about Kirk/Spock in this comic… you have your answer. Perhaps the artist didn't think anything about it. I certainly do.

And I guess someone could say, "But Jim is still reading Laura's book 15 years later! That's true love!" Why yes, he's not reading Spock's book 15 years later, because he didn't stay without Spock for 15 years; he risked everything and lost all the most important things in his life to save Spock's soul.

Anyway, back to the comic. Starfleet receives a signal from the edge of Federation space. It's the Drake. Laura and her friends are alive.

Jim and Laura have a reunion after a long separation. Since they're both captains now, Jim thinks they are given a second chance.

Oh, whoops.

It's her turn now. It looks like being away for 15 years has changed her (as you can expect, honestly), and she's now glad to become an admiral. In this comic, that means Jim can't marry her. So, this is how the story ends:

So. Um.

This isn't a bad ending, but I also wouldn't exactly call it a happy ending. It's certainly not a happily ever after story. I'd call it open, maybe hopeful? Honestly, pretty much what I'd expect from a love story between an original character and Jim, so I can't say the writing is disappointing about that.

On the other hand, I can't personally imagine middle-aged Jim being so eager to start a romance again with someone he hasn't seen in 15 years who broke up with him 16 years ago. Perhaps he felt guilty about Laura's disappearance because if he had married her, they would have been part of a colonization fleet somewhere else and the incident wouldn't have happened the same way? Maybe. Personally, I would have found more believable an ending where Jim asks her to have dinner together or go for a walk, and then something romantic happening as they get to know each other again. But I can see why the creators wanted to bring up the marriage proposal again, just to close the circle. The comic is just 32 pages, so they did what they could.

"Unless there's someone else." "Not so much. I've been really busy."

Busy with what? Oh, right: Spock's death, Spock's body on Genesis, Spock's rebirth on Vulcan, the time travel (okay, that one wasn't 100% Spock-related), Spock's brother… Honestly, just say there's been a lot of Spock in your life, Jim, because that's the truth :)

On a more serious note, I guess that dialogue could mean that Jim has someone, but "he's been too busy" to do anything serious with them. However, as a K/S monoshipper I don't really like the idea of Jim being in an open relationship with Spock, so Jim's character in the entire scene in the end is just a big NOPE for me. Sorry.

That said, I found very interesting that in a few panels they show very clearly the "captain" rank on Jim and Laura's shoulders, to point out that it's the same. They can't be together forever, but they can have fun for a few days as captains. Because of that, I went back to the start of the last timeskip, just to check out something:

Fascinating.

This is a pretty detailed panel, where you can see the ranks on the shoulders of Jim's friends; the colors of their pins are also pretty good, close to the ones in the movies… except for Spock's.

Oh, please. Did you really expect me not to pay attention to this? :)

Captain Kirk and Captain Spock.

And unlike Laura, this is what they are until the end! The end of a very long life! Generations? What's Generations? Spock will eventually become an ambassador, but that's just a different job. How did Spock himself put it earlier in this comic?

"I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk. And I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness."

Did the comic creators just play themselves? I don't know, I'm quoting their own story here! LOL

And what about Jim's words from the same scene? :D

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together."

Partners. Of equal rank. Working together.

That's literally what Kirk and Spock are since the end of The Voyage Home! Without an expiration date!

The comic creators made a big deal in their universe about relationships being better between two captains, and how good Jim and Laura may have been for each other if they had married as captains; and now they can't have their happily ever after because Laura is going to be an admiral… But even if the comic tries to hide it, we know there is a captain in Jim's life. And to make things better, Jim lost his admiral rank to bring him back. Listen, I'm a huge Old Married Kirk/Spock fan, so there's no way anything can make me forget that in the last TOS movies they're both captains. And there's no way I can forget that Jim risked his entire career (and everything else!) for Spock, and that's literally why he's not an admiral anymore.

This is almost ironic in this Valentine's Day comic. If it hadn't been for Spock, Jim would have still been an admiral, and he could have married Laura. Whoops. Too bad.

Speaking of admirals, I didn't notice it at first, but there's also something about this line Laura says in the last panel I posted…

"And don't you dare 'Admiral' me."

Ah, yes, a typical thing you tell someone you're planning to have sex with. Right, Laura? Agreed :)

Honestly, at this point I should just stop checking this comic, because I wonder if I'd just end up finding a Kirk/Spock version of every Kirk/Laura Rhone line LOL

By the way, I have other thoughts to share now that the story is over, but there's one more thing first. Do you remember the last panels of the comic? Middle-aged Jim and Laura kiss; END.

Okay. After that, the comic has a picture of the cover, with Jim and Laura kissing when they're younger.

And then it has this:

dklsfjlskjflskjlksjlkdlkgjdlfgsnfjekniuwanf LISTEN, HOW--

Just how am I even supposed to say anything that makes sense about this…??? I'm just… I can't…

Okay. So. We're talking about a Valentine's Day comic. It makes sense for it to include a cute Valentine card. I also get that Spock's iconic line has become so mainstream that it can be quoted out of context. And you can make parodies.

But… But… A Star Trek TOS fan can't really forget the original context of "I have been and always shall be your friend"? Someone could just not think about it, I guess… But, well, I know that at least I can't forget that this is literally Spock's line to Jim rewritten in a romantic Valentine's Day version. I can't possibly NOT think about it!

And I know it's very possible that the people who worked on the comic story weren't even aware of this extra, but the fact that I'm seeing this after reading about Jim Kirk's romance without happily ever after… Jim kisses a woman he can't stay with forever, and then there's Spock's "I have been and always shall be your Valentine". It's just so fucking funny. I can't. If I was feeling a little down after seeing middle-aged Jim wanting to marry Laura, now I'm laughing again. Thanks, Spock's silly Valentine card. I needed it! :D

Anyway, what did I say about this comic taking things originally created for Kirk and Spock's relationship and making them romantic when they're not about them? I can believe that sometimes it's a coincidence, but this card? Please… In a sense, this is the perfect ending.

---

Conclusions.

I started this comic with a question: in 2020, how do you write a story about TOS Kirk falling in love? I wanted to see this attempt. Overall, I think the creators did what they could. Laura is different from every other woman in Jim's life; they didn't kill her off, and they also didn't force a happy ending. I think they did a good job with the canon limitations they had, especially in 32 pages.

Do I believe that Laura could have been a good match for Jim in different circumstances?

As a temporary girlfriend? Yes.

As a lifelong partner? No.

Of course, I'm aware my answer is biased, but I can try to be a little more "logical" about it.

First of all, I think that the comic itself supports my interpretation: of course, like in every story, different people are going to see different things; however, as I already pointed out, Jim and Laura never say that they love each other, and before the marriage proposal their relationship is pretty casual.

In The Original Series, Jim isn't lucky when it comes to romance because the women he falls in love with can't really understand his nature as a space explorer. Sometimes they can, like in Carol's case, and that's why they break up with him. Laura is the opposite, because she's just like Jim. But here is the thing: I think Laura is too much like him.

What would have happened if Jim had accepted to marry her at the end of the five-year mission? They would have been both captains. On different ships, though. Sure, they could have been part of the same colonization fleet, as Jim says in the comic, and maybe it would have worked for a while. However, would they really have seen each other as much as Jim needs?

I don't know about Laura, but we see multiple times in canon that behind his mask as a starship captain, Jim is definitely more lonely than what someone may think.

First of all, don't get me wrong: in these screenshots from The Naked Time, Jim is single, so of course his attraction to Janice Rand is related to that. It's not the same situation he'd be in if he were married to Laura. Early in the series, he has thoughts about his yeoman exactly because he doesn't have anyone else. Contrary to his fame as a womanizer, TOS Jim in canon always has one woman at a time in his mind, never more.

So, why am I sharing those lines? To show that when Jim is always inside the Enterprise, he does feel lonely. He needs a romantic partner's physical touch. However, we also know that Jim does not want a relationship with one of his subordinates, so Janice Rand and the rest of his crew are off limits.

Laura is good for him because she's part of Starfleet, and not a subordinate. But is that really enough? From what I've seen in the comic, no. At the end of the day, it looks to me that Jim and Laura don't really know how to plan a future together. Perhaps it's because they're so similar, but they don't really think of themselves as a couple, especially Laura. There's Captain James T. Kirk and Captain Laura Rhone; they both love their ships, so they should get married? That's not how it works.

Their relationship is casual. Jim doesn't want to define it. Are they friends with benefits? Are they in an open relationship? Either way, when Laura decides to marry him, she asks around if Jim has someone else, and only after that she asks him. Jim, on the other hand, doesn't talk to her for six weeks after her proposal. He talks to Spock and Bones immediately, but not to her. He even talks to Carol first.

Then, when Jim finally tries to talk to her about his problems, she doesn't listen. Their lack of communication is the cause of their break up.

16 years later, what we see is even worse. It's obvious that Laura has just different priorities. Maybe it's because of what happened to her lost in space, but I'm not sure. If they had married at the end of the five-year mission, would have Laura always refused a promotion to admiral? Would she have tried to get a promotion with Jim? Based on what we see in this comic, it doesn't look likely to me.

Now, as I said, different people are going to see different things, so I'm sure that someone really invested in this romance can imagine that Jim and Laura are really meant to be, and they can get their happy ending after their retirement, or in other ways. However, I admit that Jim and Laura's huge communication issues make hard to me to picture a long happy relationship between them. They should both try to get better, but in those 32 pages there was no hint towards that direction.

There's another thing that makes really hard to find any love interest for Jim as a plausible "happily ever after" option: the stakes. I know that it's just a single comic, so the creators had to focus on a few things; however, I couldn't help but notice that Jim and Laura never really save each other from dangerous situations. They work together as a team, and Jim watches Laura disappearing into the void, but does he do anything about it? Does he try to reach her inside her ship before she disappears into the black hole? Does he try to bring her back from the void? No, he doesn't.

In TOS show and movies, Jim Kirk risks so much for his crew and his ship that a Star Trek fan can't believe that a new woman is the love of his life, unless Jim is willing to do for her everything he does for his friends. And honestly, after The Search for Spock… how can he even come close to do that?

And it's not just about Jim's actions. There's his language too. At the start of the third movie, Jim refers to Spock as "the noblest part of myself". What could he say about a love interest that is as deep as this?

Let's be honest here: the reason it's so hard to write a story about Jim Kirk's true love is that the real love story for him has already been written. You may not see it romantically, but Kirk and Spock's story is absolutely a love story. And when a character has someone he loves so deeply, it's not easy to convince the audience that he could have someone new to love as deeply. In Jim's case, the combination of his personality and his canon life makes it almost impossible.

Anyway, before I end up not so accidentally turning this analysis into a complete Kirk/Spock ship manifesto, I'm just going to mention one silly thing about the Valentine's Day comic. Please, don't take it too seriously, I'm half-joking :)

So, there are two kiss scenes in the story: one when Jim and Laura start to spend a lot of free time together, and one in the last panel. Well, I can't believe Jim isn't holding Laura's shoulders when he kisses her! That's just the basis of the way Jim kisses women! D:

Different Star Trek characters kiss in different ways; it fits their personalities. And because the rest of my TOS posts are probably too gay for these gifs, I'm dropping them as references here:

Sorry, but if Jim Kirk doesn't grab someone's shoulders before a kiss, it just kills my immersion! :P

Okay, a little more seriously: Jim doesn't always kiss women the same way; however, his "shoulder grab" is common enough that you definitely notice it if you pay attention. Because of that, I think it would have been nice to include it in the Valentine's Day comic.

After reading this comic, what kind of person would I consider perfect for Jim?

Well, my answer is obvious. However, I'll try to elaborate.

First of all, this story definitely convinced me even more that Jim can only be really happy with another Starfleet officer (or at least someone who's been deeply involved with Starfleet). He also needs someone who understands him as a space explorer, without trying to keep him grounded. And someone very smart, of course. These are all traits Laura has. But they're just the basis.

I don't think Jim needs someone in command of their own ship as a lifelong partner. As I said before, I can't really imagine it working out. Another starship captain would have their own goals and their own ambitions; that doesn't mean Jim shouldn't marry someone with specific plans for their own career, but I think these plans should keep the two of them close, not on different ships. Jim needs his partner physically at his side; if he could be happy in a long-distance relationship, I believe we would have seen at least one working out in canon. But it's never the case. Working on different starships from the same fleet would be a little better, but in my opinion not enough, unless it's for a short period of time.

And there's also the matter of his partner's personality. Jim is a natural leader; that's why he's so good at his job. I don't think he needs a similar kind of leader as romantic partner. This is just my personal opinion, but I believe they would just fight about everything they disagree about. I think he needs someone calmer in his life, not someone who'd encourage emotional outbursts.

More importantly, he absolutely needs someone he can communicate with. If he can't talk to his partner about everything important, they're not the right person for him. That doesn't mean they can't have disagreements or miscommunication issues, of course, but they shouldn't happen all the time, and Jim and his partner should be able to talk about them and make up.

In conclusion: someone at his side on his ship, smart, calm, trustworthy :)

Now, I know what some of you are thinking about: what about the "no relationships with subordinates" personal rule Jim has? How can Jim be in a relationship with Spock (or anyone else on the Enterprise) if he's everyone's superior officer? Well, first of all, I already said that after The Voyage Home, Jim and Spock are both captains. And before that… I think that Spock in the comic phrased it the right way. Jim can find his happiness with someone of "equal status". I think it's pretty clear, in my opinion, that Janice Rand and Spock aren't the same kind of subordinates to Jim. Just think about it: which members of the Enterprise call their captain "Jim"? Bones, Spock and (occasionally) Scotty. These are the three people I believe are "equals" in private to Jim, no matter their ranks when they're on duty. Because of that, a relationship between Jim and Spock could work pretty well.

By the way, another thing the Valentine's Day comic made me think about is that in TOS movies, Jim sort of does with Spock pretty much everything he does with Laura in this story. Not the same way, of course, but does it matter? Spock is his own person, he's not Jim's copy. That doesn't mean he can't indulge Jim, have fun himself… and try to stop Jim from doing dangerous things "for fun", as an old spouse would :)

Okay, perhaps throwing each other into the water doesn't count as dancing, but it's so much better :D

In conclusion, this is the way I can read the Valentine's Day comic as a Kirk/Spock shipper:

Jim mentions Spock on his first date with a woman.

Jim questions his life choices as he thinks about Spock and IDIC philosophy.

Jim does with Laura everything we see him doing in TOS show, except for playing chess (just the thing he does with Spock).

Jim says Laura and him are a good team in Starfleet because they had a lot of sex (is that true about other people he works well with??)

There haven't been many ladies or gentlemen in Jim's life because he's busy (not because he's not into men, apparently).

"Starfleet is getting a lot better at partners of equal rank working together." Good for your future with Spock, Jim!

If Jim and Laura got married, they could both teach at Starfleet Academy, something Jim is totally going to do with Spock someday.

Mister "I am something of an expert on the subject of James T. Kirk" Spock.

Also, Mister "I believe someone of equal status would offer you the best possible chance of happiness" Spock, which is actual foreshadowing of his own future status with Jim.

Hey, look at Jim reading a book that reminds him of his lost love! I wonder where I've seen LITERALLY THE SAME PICTURE???

"Don't 'Admiral' me". This is totally not similar to what Jim tells Spock in The Voyage Home, of course.

Hey, we're both captains now! Just for a few days, but isn't that great? I wonder if anyone else is a captain now, and forever? :D

"I have been and always shall be your Valentine". Totally not a Kirk/Spock line, I don't know what you're talking about! :)

Okay, okay, that's all.

As a Kirk/Spock shipper, I won't deny that I'm a little jealous of this Valentine's Day special comic, because I wish we could get something with amazing art like this where Jim is in love with Spock. On the other hand, Star Trek: Year Five comic series has a few scenes about Jim & Spock's friendship that I really liked. Platonic, sure, but good enough for my K/S goggles!

Thank you so much for reading this post until the end! I hope you enjoyed my analysis! Live long and prosper!

[chaotic-super]

A Different Kind of Alien

Here's my piece for this year's SCBB! Read it on AO3 here!

You can see the incredible associated art by CorpseCollector here!

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Summary - A series of events leading up to Lena’s realization that Kara’s alien side is a different person from the one everyone, including herself, has been allowed to see. 

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Lena’s heels click against the polished floor of the DEO in a stern rhythm that sets every agent’s teeth on edge. Nobody is more on edge than Lena though because she has a worry that’s been keeping her up at night and making her paranoid. One that she is here to get rid of as soon as she finds the subject of said worry.

“What can we do for you, Ms Luthor?” Alex greets her, not at all happy that Lena is using her recent save of Supergirl as an opportunity to get access to the DEO headquarters whenever she sees fit.

Lena thinks it’s great, honestly. She’s never been able to get in here without a million passes through security and only ever when they want to bring her in as their last option because they still, even after all this time, doubt that she’s doing anything without ulterior motives.

“There’s someone I want to speak with. I think you know who.” Lena states, her voice cool and sharp.

Alex’s hands find her hips and her spine straightens even more, if that’s even possible. “Supergirl isn’t here right now.”

“Really?” Lena’s eyebrow raises dangerously.

“Really.”

“I don’t believe that you’re being completely truthful, Director. What exactly do you think I’m going to do to her? I didn’t build her a suit to protect her from kryptonite radiation just to make sure I’m the one that gets to kill her.” Lena’s arms fold over her chest, her voice getting more and more hostile as she speaks.

This is getting out of hand already. Alex can see that simply by looking around her at all of the agents that are pretending that they aren’t trying to listen in and watch the show as it unfolds.

Alex steps closer to Lena and lowers her voice. “I’m not accusing you of anything, she really isn’t here.”

Lena doesn’t look like she believes her, not one bit. “I have already checked everywhere else so where is she?”

Now Alex is just confused. “What do you mean? She should be at work or if not, her loft. If she’s not there then I have no idea. Supergirl hasn’t been needed today, and I’ve been busy so I haven’t spoken to her. Why can’t you just text like a normal person instead of storming into government buildings like you own the place?”

Lena ignores the last jab at her. “I’ve tried CatCo and her loft. She hasn’t answered any of my messages or calls either. I asked James if he knew where she could be when she wasn’t at CatCo and he said it’s her day off so she should be at home. When she wasn’t there, I figured she would be here.”

A frown sits squarely on Alex’s face. “That’s really strange. She never told me she had the day off; she’s usually working on Thursdays. Let me try to call her, she might just be avoiding you.”

“Hey!” Lena scolds her but she’s already been tuned out so Alex can attempt to make her call.

Alex half-turns away from her so she doesn’t get distracted by Lena whilst on the phone and the action leaves Lena huffing and trying to inch closer discreetly in the hope that she will be able to hear what Kara says on the phone if she actually picks up.

When Alex sees her moving out of the corner of her eye, she just takes a step further away from her, a half-hearted glare shooting out of her eyes at Lena all the while that prevents Lena from trying to get closer again.

It takes a long time for the call to go through and by the time it does get answered, Alex is tapping her foot impatiently and her voice is sharp with Kara despite her not being the one to put her in a mood. It makes Lena feel a little bit guilty but overall, she thinks it’s Alex’s problem if she can’t compartmentalise and be nice to innocent people.

Alex’s tone is hushed and since she can’t hear Kara’s side of the conversation, Lena doesn’t bother trying to decipher what’s being said, more inclined to just wait until the call is over so she can annoy Alex further by asking a million questions about what was said.

Lena’s gaze lazily roams around the large open space within the DEO. She watches the agents rushing back and forth doing things she can’t comprehend and the computer screens over on one side of the room holding statistics, maps, and personnel files. She doesn’t linger on those for too long, the last thing she wants is to be tackled because they think she’s stealing intellectual property from the government or some bullcrap like that.

Alex clears her throat once the call ends and she looks less annoyed and more smug. “She’s at the Fortress of Solitude so unless you can magically appear in the Arctic, I’d say you’ll have to wait another day to do whatever it is you’re apparently thinking of doing. Sucks to suck.”

“That’s perfectly ok, Director Danvers. I have a lovely little piece of technology that can take me right there.” Lena smirks whilst holding up her wrist to show off her watch, which has been purposefully modified to create a portal to wherever she wants to go as long as she has the coordinates, which she does in this instance. She’s very glad she noted them down when she was last in the Fortress of Solitude, right after the Daxamites kidnapped her.

“Oh really? Let’s see it then.” Alex folds her arms, disbelief radiating out of her pores.

Lena just shrugs and presses a few buttons on her watch. A portal opens to the sound of dozens of agents gasping because a literal purple swirling portal just opened up in the middle of their workplace.

“That’s really going to take you to the Fortress of Solitude?” Alex asks, doubt still lingering, but overall, she’s a lot more convinced now and also clamouring to know how the watch works so she can build her own because she could seriously cut down her commute to work with one of those bad boys. She could sleep for an extra twenty minutes.

Lena shakes her head with a wry smile. “No, this is going to take me home. I believe that it would be in my best interests to collect my winter coat from my closet before heading to the Arctic. I’ll see you later, Director. I have business to discuss with Supergirl that cannot wait any longer.”

“Wait, what’s so important that you can’t wait for her to return? She only ever stays there for maybe two or three hours at a time.”

“I don’t believe that’s any of your business. Have a great day, Director, and please, don’t hesitate to pick your jaw up off the floor once I’ve left.” Lena makes an about-turn and promptly struts into the portal, which disappears right after she steps through it.

Alex stares at the spot where the portal was just a few seconds ago, her jaw hanging loosely for a moment before snapping shut with a click.

-

Despite the massive coat secured around her, Lena has to wrap her arms around her waist to try and fend off the cold as she steps out of the portal and into the Fortress of Solitude.

Vast walls of ice surround her, and statues of people that are long gone glare down at her, their heads the size of cars because they are so large. “Hello to you too.” She whispers up at them, half impressed, half intimidated.

Taking a look around, she can’t see any signs of life. There’s just ice, random control panels and random shelves made of yet more ice with weapons and different types of technology stacked on them. As much as she’d like to take a good look at all of that, it’s not what she’s here for. She’s here to look for one specific person. One yet to be located.

She starts walking. This isn’t exactly the kind of place to have signs up to point anyone in any particular direction, and if there is, they are all in a language that Lena doesn’t speak. Not that she wouldn’t mind learning. She just has to wander and hope she’ll find her way at some point.

Hallway after hallway of the same freezing design takes her nowhere except in circles. She’s got her ear out for any sign of movement but all she can hear is her own thundering heartbeat, staggered breaths, clicking heels and the odd crackle from the ice—nothing to give away anything helpful. Something helpful that does give Lena a clue is the lighting.

Everywhere is lit by a faint bluish tinge except for one place. From beneath a door that she doesn’t know how to open, she can see red. Not harsh, nor foreboding. A pleasant red, a dulled crimson, one that reads as comforting.

There’s no apparent door handle or button to push to get the door open, but she can see the light around the edge of the door, which she isn’t entirely sure is actually a door. The doorway is arched at the top, creating a beautiful outline that she wants to commit to memory for no reason other than to admire it when she’s not so cold her toes feel like they might snap off. She should have changed out of her heels into boots before coming here. The coat isn’t enough.

Her bare hands press against the ice in search of a way to open it, but nothing happens apart from her fingers getting cold. Next, she tries the ice around the outside of the door. No dice. The final option is something a little more hands-on. She tries pressing her hands into the door and then pushing it to one side to see if it will shift any.

It does shift but she was pushing in the wrong direction because she closes up the gap on one side of the door, blocking the light. She pushes the other way and with a little heaving, the door cracks open enough to peek through the gap and wrestle her fingers into it to move it easier.

Lena takes a look through the steadily widening gap, her green eyes hungrily drinking in the sight that greets her.

The door is shuffled open just enough that when she turns on her side, she can just about force her way through it and stumble into the room, her eyes never once leaving the form of the woman inside, the woman she came here to see.

So desperately, Lena wants to call out to her, a little worried that she hasn’t reacted to her presence because while she hasn’t been particularly loud, she’s made enough noise that a superpowered alien should be able to hear her, especially her loud footsteps, the heels of her shoes taking no prisoners with the harsh clip-clop that accompanies each movement of her feet.

Kara is sitting on the ground, her legs crossed and her hands reaching out behind her to keep her propped up as she leans back, her head tilted towards the light in the ceiling, the one emitting the red glow. Her eyes are closed and a tiny, relaxed smile graces her face. Lena’s not so sure as though she’s ever seen someone look so comfortable and beautiful. The grace she’s exuding is powerful and it almost knocks Lena back off her feet.

“Kara?” The name falls from her lips in the most hushed of voices but somehow, it’s mightier than any other noise she’s made, more compelling.

Kara’s head whips up and she wrestles to her knees in a flurry of frantic limbs and wild panic. There’s no grace or regal stature to her now. It’s all gone with that one whispered word and now Lena is staring into the frightened gaze of a woman that wasn’t here when she arrived. This isn’t the person she was just looking at; this is someone else and Lena isn’t sure why.

She’s not sure why Kara is acting so panicked. She’s not sure why she was sitting on the floor and looking the way she was. She isn’t sure why Kara is now looking guilty and she isn’t sure why she’s now feeling guilty for making Kara feel guilty.

“Kara, are you ok?”

“What are you doing here?” Kara ignores Lena’s question, her arms folding over her chest protectively, her shoulders hunching forward and her voice small in a way Lena has never heard from her. At least, not whilst she’s wearing her suit.

Lena moves closer and sees the muscles across Kara’s body ripple as she resists the urge to move back away from her so she stops a couple of paces away. “I couldn’t get hold of you and I was worried. You never showed up for lunch so I went to CatCo and your loft. When you weren’t there and still weren’t answering your phone, I went to the DEO. I was worried you’d been hurt, but then Alex called and you answered. She told me where to find you and I came.”

A hand slides across Kara’s forehead, the stress behind the action abundantly clear. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that was tomorrow. My phone was set to do-not-disturb, but Alex’s number is set so she can still call me in emergencies. I thought I had the day to myself so I came up here. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Lena nods, the action slow and precise enough that it only serves to increase the anxiety building in Kara.

“Ok,” Lena says. “So, what were you doing?”

Kara shakes her head. “Nothing much, just going through a few things.”

“You were on the floor though, Kara. Why?”

“Just…” Kara’s eyes flicker around the room for an explanation to draw from, “…resting.” She winces after she says it. That was the worst thing she could have said. No other word is more transparent than that.

The sound of Kara’s increased breaths fills the air and the rise and fall of her chest is the most prominent movement in the room, letting Lena in on the secret that whatever it is that Kara was doing, it was important to her but shouldn’t be spoken about. Not if she would like Kara to continue her streak of never having a heart attack.

“Ok then. Well, do you want me to leave you to it or do you want to come to lunch? I haven’t eaten yet so I’m thinking of either heading to Noonan’s or picking up Big Belly Burger and heading back to my place. Either option is good if you’re feeling up to it. I don’t want to mess up your plans for a relaxing day away from everyone if you don’t want to come.”

Kara shrugs. “I guess I am hungry. Want to head back and I’ll clean up and meet you there?”

“I don’t mind waiting,” Lena replies, noting that was the wrong thing to say when Kara’s unease grew. “How about I find my way back to the main room, the one with all the statues, and wait there?”

Kara’s shoulders slacken. “Sounds good. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

Lena forces a smile, her own curiosity and bafflement taking a backseat to Kara’s overwhelming rollercoaster of emotions. With one last look around the room, the red light of particular interest to her, she turns around and heads out of the room, taking the next right.

“Wrong way! Take a left and then the fourth right. You can’t miss it!” Kara yells behind her. As casually as she can, Lena turns back and follows her instructions.

-

Lena never pushes the topic of finding Kara on the floor of The Fortress of Solitude. She doesn’t push it at lunch or the many other lunches that follow. She doesn’t discuss it with anyone but doesn’t forget it. Instead, she logs it in the back of her mind and keeps it hidden away for moments when she can only think about Kara. It’s a mystery she wants to solve but one she doesn’t know how to approach.

It’s something still sitting in the back of her head though, even as she’s heading up the stairs to Kara’s apartment, the elevator sitting dead in the water with caution tape across the doors. It’ll probably be like that for a while, it took over four months when it broke down last year.

There’s a sense of calm for Lena though. A little bit of the anxiety she’s felt surrounding the situation with Kara has gone because tonight, she’s not spending time with her alone. It’s game night so she couldn’t bring it up with her if she wanted to because it wouldn’t be fair to Kara and she gets to enjoy her time without spending every second trying to figure out if it’s a good idea for her to ask about what happened at the fortress.

She’s slowly stomping up the stairs, her bag weighted down with half a dozen bottles of wine. Not all for tonight but because she’s recently learned that Kara with her stupid, big heart has been stocking up on her favourite wine so she can offer it to her when she’s over and spending much more money than she should be for someone on her salary just because her best friend has expensive taste. She’s brought a couple of bottles to be shared tonight and then a few to stay here for the nights she visits. Also a bottle of nice champagne she knows Kara likes but rarely indulges in because she thinks it’s weird to drink it when it’s not in celebration of something so refuses to buy it for herself. That certainly doesn’t stop her when Lena pours her a glass as a treat though.

The clunky pattering of flurried footsteps fills the echoing space of the stairwell. Lena turns her head to look behind her and see who it is.

Alex appears at her side, eyeing up the bag in her hands. “Oh, that’s a decent bag of drinks, please tell me there’s something in there for me.”

“Nope. It’s your turn to get the good scotch, this is just me restocking my wine in the loft.”

“You keep wine in Kara’s loft?”

“Yeah, your idiot sister buys it for me if I don’t.”

Alex’s head tilts to one side. “She is kind of dumb at times when it comes to hospitality.” She sniffs. “And quite a lot of other things too.”

Lena uses her free hand to swat at Alex’s arm. “Be nice, that was an unnecessary jab. Kara is plenty smart most of the time.”

That garners a snort. “Most of the time,” Alex repeats.

Lena shakes her head and carries on upstairs, more bothered about getting to Kara’s loft so she can put this heavy bag down.

The door opens before they could knock, Kara grinning at them. “Hey!” She wrangles the bag from Lena’s hand and wraps her up in a hug, her eyes falling closed momentarily. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“And I’m here too.” Alex huffs, pushing the pair to get by because they’re blocking the doorway. It makes Lena lose her balance slightly but Kara stands firm, a steadying hand wrapped around her waist and another around her back.

“Ignore her, she’s being insufferable today.” Lena quips when Kara pulls away and looks over at Alex, who has already splatted on her couch, limbs spread in every direction and her eyes closed. “I think she must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”

“No, I just didn’t get much sleep because I worked late last night getting paperwork done because a certain someone demanded access to files on a certain caped Kryptonian.”

Kara closes the door softly, taking a quick peek down the hallway and using her super hearing once more to see if any of the others are here yet. She can hear Nia and Brainy just outside but there’s no point in her keeping the door open when it’ll take them a couple of minutes to get up here anyway. Then she clues into what Alex just said. “You wanted files on me?” She turns to Lena with a questioning eyebrow lifted in her direction.

Lena shrugs it off like it’s completely normal. “Of course, I did. How else am I going to keep up to date on you and build you a better suit? I think Winn is great and all but I think it’s time to ditch the skirt. It does make your legs look incredible but that’s yet to help you in a fight.”

“You’re going to build me a suit?” Kara’s eyes light up and she bounces on her toes a little in excitement, her hands balling up beneath her chin and twitching as she fights to keep in control of herself. “I’m so excited! Can I help?”

“Of course, you can, anything for my favourite person.” Lena grins, her sparkling eyes tracking each barely contained movement from Kara and it’s when she watches her like this she sees it – the way Kara has to fight to stay in control of her own body, the way her muscles ache to be freed from the cage she forces them into so she doesn’t destroy anything around her or cause harm to anyone. It’s so easy to forget the power she holds and Lena forgets just how lucky she is.

She’s followed this line of thinking many a time and each time it does nothing but bum her out and make her chest feel tight, an empathetic response to the claustrophobia Kara must experience within her own body. The difference between her and Kara though, is that she forgets. She forgets how strong Kara is and the effort she puts into keeping everyone safe. That’s a luxury Kara can never afford.

“You’re the best, Lena!” Kara, now finished with her physical display of pure pleasure, pulls her into another hug. They sway with the force of it and Lena’s hands splay across the muscles of Kara’s back, the tension there still palpable.

“I know,” Lena responds, smirking when she pulls back because Alex is here and she’s not willing to look like a complete sap in front of her, that’s a surefire way to make sure she gets teased for the rest of her life and that’s not something she’s signing up for right now.

Alex swipes the bag out of Lena’s hand, pulling out one of the bottles and turning it in her hand so she can take a good look at the label. She whistles as she reads it. “Oh yeah, we are totally drinking this tonight.”

Kara frowns. “Why did you bring wine? I’ve got a bottle in the cupboard already.”

Lena pats her on her arm tenderly. “Because I’m a billionaire, darling, and you’ve got a massive food bill to contend with without me adding an extra expense to your monthly outgoings. I’ve got the wine, there’s no need for you to put yourself out to get it for me.”

“But—”

“No buts.” Lena holds up a finger and snatches the bag with the rest of the bottles out of Alex’s loose grip before opening the cupboard and beginning to put the bottles away next to the one already sitting there. It wasn’t there the last time she was here because they finished the bottle so Kara must have already restocked. She was hoping to have gotten there before her but since she bought so many bottles, that won’t be an issue again, that’s the last bottle Kara will buy for her.

Behind her, Kara frowns at her back, discomfort bubbling in her chest. It goes against the conduct she was raised with. A good host should always provide for their guests and to not do so is deemed disrespectful. Lena doesn’t know that, Kara’s fully aware that she doesn’t, but there’s still a discomfort there. She’s going to have to find a way around that, maybe she’ll have to start stocking up on Lena’s healthy snacks and disgusting green smoothies she likes even though she swore to never let any of it into her apartment.

It doesn’t solve the issue but it does calm her internal discomfort by a small margin. There’s only so much she can argue without her insistence looking strange, especially since Lena has the advantage of having a logical argument for why she should pay for her drink of choice.

The door flies open just a millisecond after a rush of rapid knocks fill the air, Nia walking in with Brainy right on her heels. “The party is here so change out of your granny panties and get your party thongs on!”

“What is wrong with you?” Alex questions, her face blank.

“So many things.” Nia shrugs and slings herself onto the couch, Brainy following her and taking a more civilized approach to sitting down.

“Hello, everyone.”

“Hey, Brainy. Hey, Nia.” Kara greets them both before turning to Alex. “Is this everyone for tonight or is Kelly showing up too?”

Alex’s lips turn up into a hint of a smile at the mention of her girlfriend. “She’s working late so she’s going back to her place to shower and will show up in a little while. She said to go ahead and order food, just save her a couple of slices of pizza.”

“What makes her think we’re ordering pizza?” Lena’s head tilts.

Kara shrugs. “Well, we always order pizza.”

“Not always,” Lena argues.

Alex snorts. “Can you remember the last time we didn’t order pizza for game night?”

Lena’s mouth opens and she goes to reply but she very quickly realizes she can’t actually remember the last time they didn’t have pizza. Even when they order from different places or have different cuisines, they always order pizza too just so they are certain they won’t run out of food. “Touché.”

“So, pepperoni?” Kara inquires, her phone in hand ready to place their order.

“Get a veggie one too. I’ll order Chinese as well.” Alex starts barking her orders. “Lena, find a game for us all to play while we wait for food.”

“Aye aye, captain. Whatever you say, captain.” Lena rolls her eyes but moves anyway, pleased when she sees Kara giggle at her little quip.

Lena purposefully chooses a couple of games that won’t take too long to get through so Kelly will be able to join right in when she gets here, that way she won’t have to just awkwardly watch while the rest of them play. Besides, if she had chosen something like Monopoly, there’s a strong likelihood that fewer people would be leaving the apartment alive than how many came in.

Food ordered and games underway, they find themselves all gathered around Kara’s coffee table. Brainy and Nia have taken the couch, Alex has taken a chair and Lena has taken the other. Since the last thing Kara wants is to be squeezing herself into the gap left next to the young lovebirds, she’s taken a cushion and is sitting on the floor and leaning back against Lena’s legs.

Since Lena felt how tense Kara was before, she’s taken it upon herself to gently massage Kara’s shoulders and try to ease out the tension one heavy pet at a time. The more her hands work, the more Kara ends up leaning against her and rolling her head forward between turns to give her more space to work.

The pair are in their own little bubble right up until Alex decides she’s done listening to the rather disgusting sound of Kara’s sighs. “Can you two not? I’m sure this could be classified as lesbian porn.”

“You would know.” Kara mumbles, not lifting her head and bringing her hands up to cover Lena’s to make sure she doesn’t stop.

“You’re gross.” Alex’s nose wrinkles.

Lena shrugs the whole thing off. Kara holds a lot of weight on her shoulders, that cape is filled with the sorrows and pain of not one but two planets so if she has to do a little maintenance every once in a while, she’s not going to complain. Even steel corrodes.

With the position they’re in, she can only reach her shoulders without it being uncomfortable for the pair of them having to move so eventually the shoulder massage just turns into head scratches and Kara is flush against her legs by that point and has given up on even pretending she’s interested in the game.

Kara whines when there’s a knock at the door because she knows she’s got to get up and lose the soothing sensation of nails dragging across her scalp but gets up anyway because if she’s not quick enough then Lena’s likely to rush over and pay for the food when it’s not her turn.

The pizzas are here first but only just, the Chinese arriving only moments after they get it all set up on the counter for everyone to take their fill so it’s easy enough to dish out everyone’s meals.

As always though, they ordered way too much food, even with the extra orders of pizza so what starts as a civilized meal as a group very quickly descends into a free for all, everyone piling their plates high with so much food there’s no way they will be able to finish it all. Well, there is one woman that will definitely finish all of her food and even then she’s probably going to go for seconds.

Kara’s food is piled so high that Lena holds her breath as she carries it across the room to set it on the coffee table because it’s teetering and could very well end up all over the floor but alas, Kara makes it and begins to demolish the food in record time, a hint of superspeed definitely doing the trick in getting it down her before anyone else has managed to so much as make a sizable dent in their plates.

She’s up again and heading back to the leftovers ready to grab another plate when she’s stopped in her tracks by Alex. “Hey, make sure to leave enough for Kelly, she might not have an appetite the size of yours but she still deserves to have a good meal.”

“I know, I’ll be sure to leave her plenty of pizza but there are potstickers with my name on them.”

Nia sighs from the couch. “I wish I could eat like that but apparently my alien genes don’t give me the power of an epic metabolism. It’s so unfair, I want some of Kara’s alienness.”

Kara has zoned out, too busy piling her plate up again but turns back to the group when she hears her name being mentioned. “What was that?”

“We weren’t bullying you, don’t worry,” Alex answers. “We were just saying that you’re a lucky alien for your metabolism. I wish being a human would give us the power to eat whatever we want but the Kryptonians have to hog that power to themselves. Selfish.”

Lena starts chuckling along but stops abruptly when she takes in the look on Kara’s face. She’s smiling but there’s an emptiness to it she doesn’t think she’s ever seen so prevalent in Kara’s eyes before. She’s laughing but there’s no joy to the sound, just an undertone of something sad.

Then though, Kara is sitting back down and the conversation changes and with it, so does Kara’s mood. She’s smiling again, this time more genuinely but it’s not the same. Lena saw something, something she’s got to file away with what she saw in the fortress because once again she has no idea what to do with it except spend a few sleepless nights taking the scene apart and replaying it until she finds some sense in it.

-

Lena’s fingers dig into her scalp as her face scrunches up in a healthy mixture of annoyance and exhaustion. The piles of paperwork surrounding her feel very much like they are increasing in size by the second and every time she tries to look at a new bit of paperwork or another email, her eyes blur.

Her scalp stings from the sharp stabbing coming from her nails and she pulls her hands away. That’s a habit she’s been meaning to break but just never got around to. It only happens late at night when her work is too overwhelming for how truly tired and rundown she feels. By morning, once she’s had a good rest and is refreshed, she can barely remember the night before and the bad habit is forgotten.

She tries to look at her laptop to see the screen but her eyes blur so she rolls up her shirt sleeve to look at her watch instead. It’s well past midnight. Definitely time to call it a day and pray that sleep finds her easily.

There’s no way she can leave her desk as it is, that’s a surefire way to ensure that she’s overwhelmed from the second she arrives tomorrow. She needs to pack up a little, maybe organize the files so they make more sense as it could make or break her day tomorrow.

She lets out a sigh of complaint and stretches her arms out in front of her, pushing out as much tension as she can before she rolls her neck, wincing when it cracks in two separate points. Her tired eyes fall over the mess on the desk from this new angle and it doesn’t look any better than it did before.

Lena jumps right into it, moving the files into categories and shifting some of them off her desk, mostly the less important ones, so it isn’t so cluttered. In her process of organization, she has to open up some of the files to see exactly where she should stack them. A lot of them are making her wish that she hadn’t, she’s got so much work to do because of a lot of incompetent people.

One of the piles she’s created is just all the stuff she’s got to fix tomorrow because of screw-ups, specifically one guy with connections to a major board member who feels it’s appropriate to block new technologies being created in the research and development department. How does this idiot think this company is going to run if they never create anything new? She’s going to have an uphill battle reprimanding him too because the board member he’s the grandson of holds a lot of power. In fact, there’s a good chance she’s going to have to find a way to get that board member out of the company altogether because of this.

She’s not going to be sad to see him go but it’s going to be a lot of stress and arguing. She’s going to have to hold a meeting with the board that is going to last far too long and she’s going to have to endure a bunch of stupid, rich people that don’t actually have a clue about how to run the company talking down at her like she’s only got half a brain cell.

That’s going to be fun and it’s totally not going to drain her very will to live.

Her head falls into her hands when she finishes up and sees the pile she’s got to tackle in the morning. There’s a lot more to fix than she thought and it could have all been avoided if this guy actually did his job properly instead of trying to sabotage the company. Actually, that’s a good point, why is he trying to sabotage the company?

“What are you trying to do?” Lena murmurs, sitting back down and going through the employee files in search of him to figure out why he, and probably his grandfather, are trying to stop the company from focusing on new projects.

She comes up empty from the initial searches but when she decides to look into the projects he’s been approving or pushing to be approved, she gets her answer. He wants to make weapons again, specifically, the weapons Lex was pushing when he was running the company.

Lex’s fucking cronies are at it again.

Her nails travel back up to her scalp and she puts enough pressure into the clawing that she makes herself wince but that’s not what her focus is on. Her focus is on the fact that no matter how much good she does and no matter how hard she tries, she’s never going to be able to be free of her psychopathic brother. God, she has to get out of here.  

She grabs her purse and shoves her phone into it before making a beeline for the door. This is a problem for tomorrow for sure, she can’t cope with it any more today. She needs to leave because while organizing is great for her workday tomorrow, it’s ruining her mental health today.

As Lena waits for the elevator to take her down, she pulls her phone back out of her purse and debates whether or not it would be too inconsiderate to call Kara at this hour. It’s pretty likely that she’s already asleep, she does have work tomorrow after all, and everyone is stupid enough to deprive themselves of their full eight hours the way she does most days.

Ultimately, she decides it’s not a good idea. As much as she would love to hear her voice and let herself be distracted by her soothing tones, it would be selfish to do that and it would make her want to go over there purely to be on the receiving end of one of Kara’s hugs. They’re magical, both soft and firm at the same time, like hugging a teddy bear that is as protective as a guard dog. She never feels safer than the moments when Kara hugs her.

The parking garage is almost empty, just a few cars over on the far side that belong to the late-night security guards and her fancy Mercedes off on the other side. Usually, she would just call her driver but she always feels guilty having him on call when she knows she’s going to be in the office late.

She clambers into the driver’s seat and sets off toward home, her eyes heavy and her movements sluggish. It reminds her of the time she saw an article detailing how it’s more dangerous to drive when you’re tired than when you’re drunk and feels a little guilty but there’s not a chance in hell she’s going to wake up Frank, her driver, just because she’s feeling a little dozy. She’ll drive as carefully as possible and keep her fingers crossed. There aren’t many cars out at this time of night anyway and it’s a pretty simple drive.

She gets to the exit of the parking garage and looks both ways but stops despite the lack of traffic. She should turn right to go to her penthouse. If she turns left though, she can go to Kara’s loft.

A while ago, back when she found out about Kara’s alter ego, Kara gave her a key to her apartment. She told her she can go there whenever she wants, she’s always welcome, even if she’s just stopping by for the sake of it. She would have given her a key long before she did if she had been brave enough to reveal her secret, but she was too afraid that Lena would have figured it out on her own otherwise.

She’s only used the key a couple of times and always with a purpose. Usually dropping something off, picking something up, or waiting for Kara to come home so they could go out somewhere. She’s never just dropped by for the sake of it, yet tonight she’s considering it. Even just being in Kara’s space tonight sounds exactly like what she needs to calm her nerves from the shitstorm brewing tomorrow at work. Even if she gets there and Kara is asleep, she’s fallen asleep on Kara’s couch before and it was pretty comfortable, she can sleep there and leave in the morning before Kara even wakes up. Plus, she can get Kara some coffee brewing as a thanks, even if she won’t know that she’s helped her out.

No, she can’t just let herself into Kara’s apartment like that. That would be creepy.

But Kara did offer.

Screw it, she needs this tonight. She’ll feel guilty about it tomorrow but just for one night, she’s going to do this and allow herself the opportunity to have a good night’s rest feeling safe and secure.

She turns left.

It only takes her half the time to get to Kara’s place from L-Corp than usual because the roads are practically empty. Lena’s glad because with every turn she makes, she’s already losing the stress of the day on the road behind her, Kara’s pull bringing her in.

With shaky fingers, she rifles through her keys and picks out the one to Kara’s apartment, smiling at the little heart keychain that has a little smiley face on it. It’s all very Kara. As quietly as she can, she slides it into the lock and opens the door, doing her best to keep the noise levels down so she doesn’t alert Kara to her presence and wake her up.

The door clicks shut behind her and she winces, afraid that she’s going to wake up Kara. However, when she turns around to make her way to the couch to set up camp for the night, she realizes that she wouldn’t have woken her because she’s already awake.

Kara is sitting on the floor, legs crossed and a flickering candle in front of her. Her eyes are closed and her head is ducked but Lena knows she’s not sleeping because her lips are moving. She’s murmuring to herself, the words foreign and indistinguishable.

It brings her back to the memory of her walking in on Kara at the fortress, except this time she can see what Kara is doing clear as day. She’s doing some kind of meditation, Kryptonian meditation.

Lena carefully pulls her heels off, sets them beside the overflowing shoe rack, and leaves her purse on one of the chairs beside the kitchen table. She wanders slowly towards Kara, her face lit up by the candle, the only light in the room. She looks beautiful but there’s something bothering her, a crinkle between her eyebrows that gives away as much and her lips are turned down as she talks as if she’s trying not to cry.

The light shows off the sharp curve of her jaw and the line of her nose. All Lena wants to do is stare. Her eyes flit over every part of Kara that is illuminated and the light golden shine of Kara’s hair might just beat out the blue of Kara’s eyes as her new favourite. Though she’s sure it wouldn’t come close if Kara had her eyes open so she could see them in this light.

She keeps moving closer, her eyes never leaving Kara’s form, her brain struggling to comprehend anything other than how beautiful she is. It’s times like this when she isn’t even mad about her ongoing feelings for Kara. She truly never stood a chance. Her heart hopped right out of her chest and into Kara’s hand from the first time they met. And honestly, Lena’s not mad about it at this point because having Kara in her life, even if she’s doomed to stay single and pine for the rest of eternity, is worth it.

A floorboard creaks beneath her foot on one step and Kara’s head whips up so quickly that it makes Lena jump and stumble back. Kara just barely catches her as she trips and starts tumbling to the floor.

“You scared me,” Kara whispers, setting Lena back on her feet but keeping her close so she can pull her into the hug Lena’s desperate for.

“Sorry. I just…” Lena ponders lying but when Kara is looking at her with imploring blue eyes, she can’t. “I just wanted to be here.”

Her honesty is rewarded with a tiny smile and a faint pink glow to her cheeks, one Lena can only just make out in the dim light. “I’m glad you came then.”

“Me too.” Lena breathes, holding onto Kara tightly and taking everything she needs from the hug. She prays that she’s giving Kara just as much comfort because from what she saw, she’s not the only one with struggles. She just wishes Kara would open up to her about them. “Can we turn on a light?”

Kara squeezes her tighter. “In a minute. You’re warm.”

Lena sinks into the embrace even deeper, leaning completely into Kara and not caring that she’s setting so much of her weight into her. If anyone is going to catch her, it’s her Kryptonian best friend and she wouldn’t have it any other way, not when it feels like this.

“Bad day at work?” Kara mumbles into her hair after a minute.

“Terrible,” Lena replies. “What about you? Bad day at the office or at the DEO?”

“Both.” Kara mumbles. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

Lena almost had her there, almost got her to open up. The floodgates are always so firmly sealed that Lena’s kind of shocked she even got Kara to admit to being upset but she’ll take it. “Me neither. I just want to sleep, can I stay?”

Kara nods. “Always.”

When they finally part, Kara vanishes from in front of her with a burst of super speed. By the time Lena blinks away her confusion the candle is nowhere in sight, a lamp has been turned on and Kara is standing beside her with a spare set of pyjamas in hand, held out in offering.

-

“Why not?”

Lena folds her arms across her chest. “If you think I’m going to let you fly me into the children’s hospital and make a spectacle of both of us because you’re too impatient to travel by car like every other person on this planet, you’re sadly incorrect.”

Kara deploys a pout she thinks will have enough power to crumble Lena’s resolve. “But we will be able to spend more time with the kids if I fly us there. Don’t you want to make the kids' day?”

“It’s because you know there’s going to be cake there since you heard me on the phone with the caterer the other day. Don’t pretend this is for the children. Sit down, we’re waiting for Frank and he’s driving us there whether you like it or not.” Lena puts on her CEO voice, the one she usually reserves for the boardroom, and raises a single commanding eyebrow at Kara.

It’s a relatively new thing, her using that persona with Kara, but it’s immensely effective at getting Kara to do what she’s told, a fact that Lena is being especially careful not to take advantage of. It’s really cute though, the fact that all she has to do is be a little commanding and Kara gives in. The mighty Girl of Steel gives in just because she’s being bossy.

Kara makes her way over to the couch following Lena’s demand and pulls her cape to one side before lowering herself down. She sets the material across her lap so her fingers have something to fiddle with while she waits.

Lena holds back a smile and joins her after double-checking that she has everything she needs to take to the hospital. Kara tilts her body towards Lena when she sits beside her and Lena finds her fingers reaching out for the cape to pinch the edge of it, running the pads of her fingers over the stitching. “I don’t think he’ll be long.”

“Ok,” Kara simply answers, still gazing at her softly. “I can’t wait to see all of the kids, they’re always super sweet.”

“I know, I’ve heard they’re already clamouring to see their favourite superhero in action but I have to admit something.” Lena takes a deep breath. She hadn’t wanted to bring Kara along under false pretences but she really needs her help. That being said, she doesn’t want Kara to get there and be blindsided.

Kara’s eyebrows scrunch together. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t just ask you to come along because the kids want to meet Supergirl, although that is also true, they can’t wait to meet you. I asked you to come along because we’ve just had our first round of aliens come into the hospital as staff and some of the kids are struggling to adapt to it, they are scared or nervous. I don’t know, just not comfortable. I was hoping that maybe by making the comparison between the staff and Supergirl, they could overcome it slightly. I don’t want it to get bad enough that I’m forced to only have human staff because the aliens are great at their jobs. Trust just needs to be built.”

Kara’s expression doesn’t change throughout her explanation and it takes her a moment to speak. It makes Lena nervous, watching Kara as she watches her. Letting Kara think everything through is her best chance at Kara still coming to the hospital willingly rather than just to keep the kids happy. Kara won’t back out now because she doesn’t want to disappoint them.

“I get that. I would have appreciated more of a heads up but I get it. Why didn’t you just ask me though?” Kara is more confused than mad.

Lena’s fingers continue scraping their way along the seam of the cape, her gaze dropping down to watch them travel along the material. “You’ve always stayed away from anything too political if possible, I wasn’t sure if you would put this in that category and want to sit it out.”

She winces when Kara makes a squeaky sound with her lips as she sucks on her teeth. “That’s dumb. I do try to stay out of politics but this is different. This means the jobs of a lot of well-deserving aliens and the care of kids. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You didn’t have to try and trick me into it.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lena chances a glance up towards her face, darting her eyes away sharply when she locks eyes with Kara for the briefest of moments. 

Kara’s fingers play with the edge of her cape as well, but seeing the way Lena looks away so quickly and the shame spreading across her face instantly, she drops it to cover Lena’s hand with hers. “I forgive you, just please don’t do it again.” 

Lena’s teeth find her bottom lip. “Do you really or are you just saying that to be nice?” 

“We’ve gotten past the part of our relationship where I forgive you just to be nice. I have no issues telling you when you’re being mean or when you’re crossing a line. This is something forgivable. Next time, it won’t be. We live and we learn. Are you planning on doing it again?” 

“Well…no,” Lena responds sheepishly.

“Cool, then stop pouting, that’s my forte.” Kara nudges her with a shoulder, sending her off balance. The movement tears her hands away from Kara and her cape, making it impossible to catch herself on the couch.

“Are you sure?”

“Are you dramatic?” Kara counters.

Lena folds her arms, her eyes shifting to one side out of annoyance. “I resent that.”

“I’m sure you do.” Kara nudges her knee against Lena’s and splays her cape across them both more evenly.

Now accepting that she’s been forgiven and has gotten a pass she hadn’t been expecting, Lena takes advantage of the cleared air to rest her head against Kara’s shoulder. “I can’t wait to see you with those kids, they’re always so happy to see you.”

“That’s because every kid wants to be a hero. Every kid wants to grow up to save the world, the cape proves to them they can.” Kara explains, ridding herself of the pressure of being the guest of honour at the hospital. She flaps the edge of the cape up at Lena. “You could just take this with you and they’d be happy.”

Lena shakes her head against Kara’s shoulder, the material of her suit a little scratchy against her skin. “I don’t think you realize how truly loved you are.”

Kara scoffs. “I think you need to see the hypocrisy in that statement.”

“Hey, I’m working on my issues, just ask my therapist. I don’t see you going to therapy.” Lena digs a sharp finger into Kara’s side, making her squirm in response.

“Yeah because that would work.” Kara sarcastically replies. “Hi, I’m here to fix my mental health, please help me forget the image of my entire planet exploding. Please and thank you. Oh, and I also fight bad guys as a side gig which often leads to me getting my ass kicked or almost dying. Do you think that’s healthy? What do you mean it isn’t?”

The entire time Kara runs through her imaginary conversation with a hypothetical therapist Lena gets a sinking feeling in her chest. “Kara, a therapist isn’t just someone to help you forget the bad shit in your life. It’s someone to help you work through it.”

“I don’t think it’s possible to work through the death of an entire species, Lena.” Kara answers back sharply.

Before Lena can answer back and try to reassure Kara that she didn’t mean it in that way, Kara is standing up, jolting Lena in the process and stalking away with an excuse of using the bathroom before they go.

Now that Kara has gone, her lap is cold from the lack of a warm cape and her chest is tight. Kara advocated for her to see a therapist when she was first deciding but when it comes to looking after herself she’s completely unwilling to tolerate the conversation. It’s not the first or last time Kara will put her own well-being on the back burner but this feels like more than that. Kara has some serious trauma and she’s not willing to touch on it more than vague comments here and there. Lena doesn’t know how to help her when Kara doesn’t want help.

Not knowing what else to do, she checks her phone and figures that Frank will be there to pick them up very soon. They might as well head downstairs to wait for him. Lena leaves her office, closing the door softly behind her and giving a tight-lipped smile to Jess. “Is she in the bathroom down the hall?”

“Ms Danvers headed toward the one on the other side of the floor. She looked upset.”

“She is. I’m going to go check on her and then we’re heading out. You’re free to leave and take the rest of the day to yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jess shakes her head. “That’s not necessary, Ms Luthor. I can keep working without you here.”

“You work just as hard as I do, have a rest and come back tomorrow with those stress lines on your forehead gone.”

Jess’ hand shoots up to her head. “I don’t have—” She sees Lena’s smirk. “I’ll go.”

“Good, enjoy the rest of your day,” Lena says, already walking away down the hall to the other bathroom to check on Kara. Talking with Jess helped ease her worry about Kara but it hasn’t dissipated completely.

Coming up to the bathroom door, Lena slows and takes a deep breath before pushing her way inside. “Kara? Are you in here?”

“I’ll be just a minute,” Kara calls out from inside one of the cubicles.

“Are you ok?”

A second of silence follows the question before a sniffle can be heard. “Fine. I’ll be out in a second.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Kara answers, her voice wobbly.

Lena leans back against the sink and waits for Kara to come out. When Kara does, she aims right for the sink to wash her hands whilst refusing to make eye contact with Lena. However, Lena won’t let it go unaddressed. “Kara, what happened back in my office?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just go and see those kids, ok?”

“Kara—”

“I’m fine, I promise.”

She doesn’t believe her and Kara knows it but now isn’t the time. Frank will be here any second and they have a pretty important day ahead of them. “Ok. Are you ready to go? I was thinking that we could move downstairs to wait.”

“Sounds good.” Kara meets her eyes in the mirror and offers a strained smile.

-

Lena watches from across the ward as Kara is swarmed by kids, all of them scrambling to get to her as fast as they can and tugging at her cape when she’s in arm’s reach. She has to give it to the woman, if she were the one being used as a jungle gym, she wouldn’t be grinning like a madwoman the way Kara is.

She didn’t dare bring up what happened in the office while they were on their way. Instead, she opted for small talk and generally observed how Kara mentally pumped herself up. It was a sight Lena had never been privy to before; one where Kara sits with her eyes clamped shut for a solemn moment, her lips pressed tightly together in a stiff line, and her eyebrows furrowed before slowly, as they got closer to their destination, her entire face eased. Her lips parted into a gentle smile, her eyebrows lifted and her eyes opened to reveal glistening blue irises hiding all the pain Kara has endured throughout her life. 

A part of her is jealous that she doesn’t get as much attention as Kara does. It’s a short-lived feeling when Kara occasionally turns her head towards her to show off a dopey grin usually followed by a jaunty wave. She has the attention she craves from those interactions; she doesn’t need it from anyone else. 

For the most part, Lena ends up talking with the hospital staff and management to get feedback on the facility and to see how she can improve the place going forward. However, the issue of treatment resistance keeps popping up when the alien doctors are the ones working. The kids just don’t trust them. 

Lena looks up when she hears Kara gently ushering the kids back to their rooms. It’s clear she’s getting worried about them worsening their conditions because they’re pushing themselves too much for a chance to be close to her. She’s especially worried about the kids who keep trying to climb onto her since most of them have IVs. She certainly doesn’t want them to get snagged or caught on anything. 

“Go back to your cubicles and rooms, I’ll make sure to come and speak to all of you before I have to go.” Supergirl’s powerful yet calming tone gets them all moving, their jaws still dropped in awe at seeing their city’s official hero and unofficial mascot in person. 

Kara strides her way over after the last child has returned to the safety of their hospital bed. Lena greets her with a smile. “Hey, you looked busy over there.” 

“I was five seconds away from being a permanent climbing frame for those little guys.” Kara jokes. “I think I got them to trust me enough that we can talk to them about the alien doctors now. I thought about speaking to them privately or in small groups.”

“I think they already trust you, Supergirl.” 

“Well…yeah, but I want to just reaffirm that I’m a person, not just a flying, world-saving superhero. I think getting them to see that each alien is a person too will help us immensely in our plight.” Kara’s hands naturally fall to her hips as they always do when she’s in her Supergirl outfit, the cape bringing her confidence she hardly manages to find when she’s dressed as just Kara. 

Lena’s hand reaches out to rest on her arm but she catches herself. She can’t do that in public, rumours form way too easily. Her hand taps Kara’s arm lightly before dropping back down to her side awkwardly. The embarrassment lights up Lena’s cheeks in a pale pink that Kara has complimented when she’s seen it in the past. 

She feels awkward and doesn’t know what to do with her hands now. With an ungraceful motion, she brushes back a non-existent hair that doesn’t exist since she has it slicked back into her signature CEO ponytail. 

“Ok, yeah, sure, that makes sense.” She rattles off. “Um... shall we start talking with them?” 

Kara nods. “Yeah, are you ok though? You seem nervous.” 

Lena shrugs noncommittally. “This is an important message to get across. I’m a little apprehensive, to be honest.” 

“Understandably.” Kara soothes her worries, taking her words at face value. In reality, Lena is more concerned about what happened in her office earlier. With that outburst to add to her list, Lena is finally getting a general idea about why Kara has been acting strangely. She can see that it all relates back to her life on Krypton. She fears she will never get enough detail on it to be able to help in any lasting way because of how closed off Kara is about her previous life. Understandably, she has some very large, very raw wounds about Krypton but Lena’s sure something has happened recently to trigger this. Surely she would have noticed something before now, right? 

Lena clears her throat. “Let’s go.” 

They go to a ward first, one that holds four patients. A nurse, a human one, opens all of the curtains so they can speak to all four kids at once. They all look to be between ten and fourteen so they have to try and cater their speech to them.

The nurse stays inside the ward. An alien doctor joins him and stands at his side, her purple splodged skin and six-fingered hands on full display.  Kara nods to the pair and starts speaking. “Hey, guys.”

She receives a bunch of greetings in response, all of them managing to at least squeak out an excited ‘hi’ to their favourite superhero.

“I came here to see you for a couple of reasons today. One is just because I like hanging out with you guys, you’re all kind of awesome.” She says with a dorky smile. “The second reason is to see how you’re all feeling about some of the new additions here at Luthor Family Children’s Hospital.” She gestures to the nurses at the edge of the room, not picking either out.  

None of the kids offer up an answer to her gentle inquiry, their gazes fixed on their hands and blankets.

“Come on guys, nobody is going to get mad at you for telling us how you feel. I already have an idea of what you’ve been feeling anyway. Nobody in this place is very good at hiding it.” She keeps a smile on her face even though her heart is aching for the new doctors and nurses that are just trying to help and fit in after moving to a planet that isn’t ready to accept them.

The oldest kid takes it upon himself to speak for the four of them. “It’s weird.”

“Thanks for being honest.” Kara jumps on the opportunity to have an actual conversation. “Can you elaborate?”

He shrugs a little. “I don’t know. It’s just…” His eyes dart to the alien nurse before returning back to his fidgeting hands. “It’s weird.”

“Is it their looks that are making you feel nervous or is it because they are aliens?”

The kid looks terrified, obviously afraid he’s going to give Supergirl an answer she doesn’t want to hear. “I don’t know much about aliens.”

“So it’s the uncertainty that is making you nervous? You don’t know anything about them so you’re not sure what to expect?” Kara reads between the lines.

“I guess so.” He shrugs again.

Lena steps forward. “Perhaps some educational programs would be helpful. We could set up a system or a book perhaps that everyone could read to get to know a little about their doctors. I personally love learning about all of the cultures of each planet and the different ways species adapt to their planet’s natural environments.”

“It’s true, she questioned me for weeks about my planet and the differences in our bodies because I’m an alien.” Kara jumps in.

“That’s different.” He responds quickly before ducking his head again, well aware he just put his foot in his mouth.

Kara and Lena share a confused look before Lena turns to the boy. “How so?” She keeps her tone light in an attempt to genuinely understand.

All the other kids stay quiet, content to let the boy talk for them. “We know you. You protect the city.”

Kara tilts her head dramatically, her eyes finding the ceiling as her eyebrows furrow. It’s clear she’s thinking and the room is dead silent as everyone awaits her response.

“Do you think firefighters protect this city?”

“Of course.” The boy answers.

“And the police?”

“Yes.” He’s getting nervous, seeing where this is going.

“And doctors?”

“I guess so.”

Kara has made her point.  “So, if we’ve established that doctors protect this city, why don’t you believe that an alien doctor is protecting this city?”

“I guess they are.”

Kara’s fingers dig into her own hips as she sways to a beat nobody else in the room is privy to. “I think that there’s a lot of apprehension towards the new doctors and that’s ok. You’re allowed to take some time to get used to it. It is a big change for a lot of people and we want to make that change easier on everyone. Aliens are becoming a larger part of our society. There is an influx of new immigrants every day. Fortunately, Earth is kind enough to allow them to seek refuge. This planet gave me a safe place to live when my planet couldn’t and the way I pay back the kindness is by helping. The new doctors are paying you back by helping too, they just do it in a different way. We’re all aliens working to make society a little better the only way we can.

“I know a lot of the times when you see aliens, it’s on the news doing bad stuff. Then you see me stopping them but what you don’t see is the vast number of aliens aren’t bad. We all come from different planets and backgrounds and cultures but we all have the same goal in mind; we want to make this planet as great as it can be.”

“Well said.” Lena places a hand on her shoulder.

“But you’re not an alien really.” The boy doesn’t hold his tongue. “You’re one of us. You look like us and you think like us. You’re only an alien because you can fly and shoot lasers out of your eyes, you’re basically a human otherwise though. You’re not like them.”

“Thomas.” The girl in the bed next to him hisses. She looks to be around 12 and is much more open to what Kara was trying to say.

Lena, seeing Kara reeling from the words spoken to her, words that hit her harder than any alien ever could, steps up to take over. “I think a bit more explaining is in order. “

Kara nods passively at her side as she steps forward, therefore, shielding Kara.

All eyes are on Lena now. “An alien is anyone that wasn’t born on Earth. Each species has its own culture and way of life. We have to find a balance between their cultures and ours. Sometimes, they overlap. One of the ways they overlap here is that they have doctors and so do we. They bring so much more knowledge than humans could ever have alone and they can heal people in ways we can’t. They are here to do that and we must show them the same love we give to human doctors because they are just here to help.”

Thomas looks a little chastised but not overly convinced. The other three kids are now curiously glancing over at the alien nurse, a little less apprehensive with the reassurance that she is here to help.

The girl in the bed closest to her holds out her hand and the nurse cautiously steps towards her and takes it. “I like your purpleness.”

“I like your pinkness.” The alien responds, making the girl giggle.

Lena watches the interaction closely. They aren’t about to win all of the kids over but some kids, they can and this is proof. Her lips quirk up into a smile and she turns to share the moment with Kara but finds her blankly staring at the wall.

“Supergirl?” Thomas calls out nervously.

Kara snaps out of it, her face returning to its regular happiness. “Yes?”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You’re ok. Sometimes all we need is a little hand in learning new things. Part of learning new things is making conclusions and testing them. You didn’t do anything wrong; you just need more research. I bet Ms Luthor can help you with that.”

Thomas looks between them, bobbing his head up and down in acceptance.

-

Lena feels guilty about leaving Kara out on her balcony but she previously cancelled the meeting with this shareholder three times and couldn’t make it four. It would set off alarm bells in the company that would take far too much work for her to make it worth blowing it off again.

Kara showed up right as she was about to head into the conference room and she can still envision the little sad puppy-dog pout she got on when Lena told her she couldn’t stay in the office.

To be fair, Kara took it like a champ and didn’t try to persuade her to stay. She just accepted it with a face of dissatisfaction and acceptance. It’s just a shame her dissatisfied face involves a pout that makes Lena want to rearrange her entire schedule just to make it go away.

She’s just finished the meeting, spending the entirety of it watching the ever-ticking clock out of the corner of her eye, and hurriedly rushes to her office, all too eager to get to Kara to enjoy a nice lunch together.

After what happened at the hospital, she hasn’t been able to reach Kara on a deeper level. The blonde keeps her guard way up at all times and changes the subject when the topic comes up. 

Following their first attempt at explaining to the kids how the alien doctors are just there to help in the same way the human ones are, Kara let Lena do most of the speaking, clearly affected by the young boy’s words that were spoken out of ignorance.

The interaction keeps replaying over and over in her head. Now that she’s a few days out from the conversation, she’s thought of literally thousands of things she could have said that would have been better and perhaps more impactful in the moment but there’s nothing she can do now.

They made a huge difference though, that much they can’t deny. A lot of the kids have made attempts to connect with the alien staff since their visit. They are getting daily progress reports of the improvements so at the very least, they have made some of the changes they set out to make.

Lena opens her office door distractedly. She’s clearly not paying attention to what she’s doing, too caught up in her thoughts about what happened at the hospital and Kara’s strange reactions to different scenarios in the past few weeks.

She snaps out of it when she gets to her desk and drops the files she was carrying on top of it. It takes her a second to get her bearings, a little confused about what she’s doing due to her lack of paying attention.

A frown makes its home on her face as she takes a look around the room, Kara nowhere in sight. She was certain that Kara said she’d wait here but maybe she got called away on Supergirl business. That’s certainly not something Lena can complain about. Kara wouldn’t be Kara if she didn’t help those in need after all.

With a heavy sigh, Lena falls back into her office chair and lets it rock from the momentum for a few seconds before doing a dramatic spin. As she spins, something blue and red catches her eye for a millisecond before it’s gone. She pushes off so hard she has to do a double take and half-spin to look back out at the balcony. Sitting there in all of her primary-coloured glory is Kara.

She’s sitting in a position Lena has seen her in before and her lips are forming words that are not known to the English language. They aren’t known to any language from Earth.

Lena watches in wonder as Kara allows her blonde hair to curtain her face as her head tilts forward. A soft breeze caresses through it periodically, a whisper in return to the words Kara is barely murmuring.

It truly feels like she’s watching something magical. It’s enchanting in a way she can’t describe. The pinch of Kara’s closed eyes is a locked door to the wonders and pain within that Lena longs to see but has been barred from ever encountering. The fingertips that rest atop the blue material stretched over Kara’s knees have turned white from the strength of their grasp, the only hint Lena feels she may ever get of the power of the feelings Kara endures day by day.

Lena just can’t stop looking. It feels like if she looks away, even for a moment, the moment will be broken and she’ll never get an opportunity like this again.

She blinks and the moment is gone, a breath in the wind.

Kara’s eyes open, her hands move from her knees and she floats her way onto her feet. She moves from the balcony, letting herself into the office and awkwardly scratching at the back of her head. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Lena croaks back, her throat dry, probably from having her mouth hanging open in her frozen, enamoured state.

Kara trills her lips together, creating a little vibrating buzzing sound. “Uh… how was your meeting?”

“It was ok. I tried to hurry so you wouldn’t be out here alone for too long. I actually thought that you might have shot off to rescue a cat out of a tree or something.”

“Not this time,” Kara answers, pulling out one of the chairs on the opposite side of Lena’s desk and taking a seat. “I was just…”

“Meditating?”

Kara hesitates, clearly not wanting to confirm what she was doing despite being fully aware that Lena saw her. “Yeah.” Her voice is small and Lena can’t help but imagine that’s how Kara sounded when she first arrived on Earth as a traumatized, orphaned twelve-year-old.

Lena’s tired of this though. She still has no idea what’s going on with Kara and at this point, it’s crystal clear that she’s not going to get any answers by just sitting around and watching from a distance. She only has one choice if she’s ever going to find out what’s going on in Kara’s mind and it’s a really risky option. It’s either going to reward her with all of the answers she’s been clamouring for or she’s going to continue to receive The Great Kryptonian Avoidance Technique, also known as Kara telling her there’s an emergency seconds before flying out of the window.

“Kara?”

“Yeah?” Kara asks, her voice quiet, seemingly foreseeing what’s coming.

“We need to talk about it.”

Kara looks down at the white desk and the thin layer of dust gathering across the surface. She focuses on that, distracting herself with the thought that Lena really needs to allow janitors in her office because she always forgets to dust and then complains when she gets allergies. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lena shakes her head tiredly. “We both know that’s not true. I’ve been seeing hints of it for weeks, Kara. I don’t pretend to know what’s going on inside of your head and I know that I will likely never be able to understand the pain you feel every day but keeping that pain held so tightly it burns you from the inside isn’t healthy.”

“Lena, drop it.” It’s a demand. One filled with undertones of desperation and agony. It’s followed by a strained, “Please.”

“You know I’m not going to do that. I can’t.” Lena reaches across the desk to offer her upturned palm to Kara, something stable to hold onto if she decides to take down her walls brick by brick.

Kara’s head shakes and she pushes her chair back, the legs scraping against the carpeted floor harshly. “I’m sorry, I… there’s…I can’t.” Kara stands up and starts marching towards the balcony.

“Kara Zor-El Danvers, don’t you dare take another step.” Lena jumps to her feet and shouts her order at Kara’s back. “Don’t leave.”

Kara looks back over her shoulder, her face scrunched and her lips trembling. “Someone needs help.”

She leaves.

The Great Kryptonian Avoidance Technique won out. She’s gone. 

-

Lena’s phone vibrates beneath her thigh where it’s trapped under her leg as she sits on the couch. Her reaction is instantaneous. She snatches it up and checks it to see who the message is from and her shoulders droop in disappointment, it’s from the wrong Danvers sister.

Two more days of silence from Kara will mark three weeks with them not speaking and that’s the longest they’ve gone since they’ve been friends. Kara’s been completely avoiding her since she attempted to confront her in her office and now Lena’s left regretting that decision immensely, perhaps more than she’s ever regretted anything before. 

The worrying thing is that Alex hasn’t been able to get in touch with her either and neither have any of their other friends. Lena skipped out on the past two game nights when she found out Kara had already cancelled, so the loneliness is kicking in.

Alex has been a godsend though. She doesn’t have much detail about why Kara has started avoiding everyone, all she knows is that something went down between Kara and Lena. She hasn’t turned her back on Lena though and for that, Lena is grateful. She was expecting her to show up at her door with her gun raised for hurting her sister but instead, she’s sending her texts every morning telling her to have a good day and keeping her updated on her communication status with Kara.

Every update is the same though. Radio silence. Upon checking her most recent message from Alex, Lena learns that hasn’t changed. They know she’s physically fine, she’s still been showing up to work and helping people as Supergirl. However, she hasn’t been to the DEO and if anyone tries to approach her at her desk, she makes a swift exit and doesn’t go back until the coast is clear.

Lena’s been to Kara’s apartment four times already and every time she’s been, Kara either hasn’t been there or she’s pretended not to be. It’s frustrating and Lena’s getting tired of it but almost all of her frustration is drowned out by worry.

If their brush with the big conversation has told her anything, it’s that Kara is struggling in a major way and she needs help. How is she supposed to help when she hasn’t been able to get anywhere near Kara? Even if she does manage to get close to her, it’s not like she’s had much luck getting the truth out of her, so what is she meant to do?

Lena is a nervous wreck over the whole situation and she can’t let it go on much longer. Jess keeps sending her home early and when she tries to protest she makes a show of pointing out the stress lines across her forehead, which is both unprofessional and effective. She can barely focus on work when she is there and since she’s working on some very important new medical technology, she needs her head in the game. 

This technology could save lives and it can’t be put off because she’s too busy fending off a panic attack thinking about the chance of her best friend doing something stupid because she’s struggling. Kara has never been the best at handling her emotions and it wouldn’t be the first time she’s made silly mistakes in fights because she’s working through her feelings. She needs to fix this today.

That’s it. Lena pushes herself out of the comforting hold of her stupidly expensive couch. It usually makes her feel better when she’s sad, in no small part due to Kara’s constant insistence that she’s going to steal it one day because it’s so comfortable. Right now though, it doesn’t feel as comfy anymore, it feels suffocating and she needs to get out of its restricting grip.

Before she forgets, Lena responds to Alex with a simple thumbs-up emoji and moves on with her next task in mind.

Lena snatches her keys off the hook.

-

Lena hoped that she would come up with some idea of what to do by the time she got here but no dice. Now she’s just standing outside Kara’s apartment door in the same way she has done several times before, still no new plan on how to get Kara to answer the door.

She knocks softly at first but when it goes unanswered, her knocks get firmer. She knocks so hard that her knuckles begin to ache from the force of her hand against the wood and turn an alarming shade of red. 

No answer.

Ok, so Kara doesn’t want to open the door, Lena will do it herself. She has never used Kara’s key when she specifically knows Kara doesn’t want her there. She barely even uses it when she knows she does. Lena carefully picks Kara’s front door key out from her keyring and hesitates for only the briefest of moments before slotting it into the keyhole with a definitive push. This is for Kara’s own good and besides, it's not like Kara ever asks before showing up on her balcony.

Following a deep breath, she turns the key. It doesn’t unlock. Kara has the door deadbolted. Awesome, another problem for her to try and find a way around. Just what she needs. 

Lena’s never been one to describe herself as desperate but she’s willing to be anything to help Kara. After all the ways Kara has brought love into her life and the evenings spent reassuring her that she’s not only a good person but someone she should be proud to be, she owes it to her to stand up and drag her out of the darkness. To fight away all of the demons that haunt her dreams and nightmares alike.

She slams the side of her fist into the door thrice.

“Kara? I know you’re in there. Let me in!” Lena yells through the door.

The silence that follows doesn’t increase her worry, nor does it increase her annoyance. It only serves to exacerbate her panic. Her best friend is in more pain than she can comprehend and she has seen what happens to people when they can’t handle their pain. She will exhaust every option she can before she allows Kara to do anything that could take her away from her. Lena will never let her go, especially when she knows there’s something she can do to help, even if she’s not sure what that is just yet.

“Kara, I’m not leaving!” She whacks the door again, only stopping when a neighbour pokes his nosy head out into the hallway with a frown. He ducks back into his apartment when he finds himself on the receiving end of the classic Lena Luthor glare, the one that has been proven many a time to bring arrogant assholes to their knees.

“If you don’t answer then I’ll go and get some tools and take your door down! I promise I’m not bluffing.” She finishes her threat by pressing her ear to the door in an attempt to hear if there is any movement inside.

A tiny squeak from one of the floorboards gives Kara away and now that Lena has managed to confirm that Kara is inside, there’s no way she’s giving up now.

“Ok, I guess I better go get those tools then. If I find out you’ve left by the time I get inside then I’ll camp out in there for as long as I need to. You’ll have to come back at some point.”

Lena is much calmer now that she's confident Kara is inside. She never managed to get that confirmation the other times she showed up and from what Alex has told her, she never did either.

She steps away from the door, fully intending on heading back to her car. Her tools are all back at her apartment and L-Corp. Alternatively, there’s a hardware store five minutes up the road. Is she about to buy a bunch of tools she already owns so she can see Kara sooner? Yes, she is.

It doesn’t come to that though because a solid click reaches her ears just as she turns away. It’s followed by the rattling of the door as it’s just barely pulled open.

Lena has never turned her head so fast and for a moment she wonders if she might have just given herself whiplash. She didn’t think that the threat would work.

“Kara?”

Kara stares at her silently, her head held low and her lips turned down. She looks a far cry from her usual happy self and there’s only one thing Lena wants to do.

Kara doesn’t resist as Lena pushes the door further open, taking a step back so it has space and won’t get caught against her legs. Then, she’s pulled forward again, this time into Lena’s waiting arms.

She’s held so tightly that Kara is certain that even with her strength, there is no way she could break out of Lena’s hold, not even if the planet were at stake. 

“I’ve got you,” Lena whispers into her ear and Kara nuzzles her nose into Lena’s neck, the comforting scent of her perfume helping her muscles relax so she can sink further into the embrace. “Thank you for opening the door.”

Lena is grateful to have gotten this far but she is under no illusion that anything that follows this hug will be easy.

Lena pulls back slowly and finds that she almost has to peel Kara off her. It’s a fast transition, Kara not even opening the door to start with, to her being pressed so tightly to her front that it feels as though they are sharing every hollow breath they take.

First things first, she pushes the door shut with finality. She’s staying.

Lena takes in Kara’s appearance and the hardened line of her brows softens, her resolve to force Kara to talk weakening upon seeing the state Kara is in. She wouldn’t say that Kara looks a mess because she always looks beautiful but she doesn’t look great.

Honestly, Lena had no idea that Kara was capable of getting dark bags beneath her eyes and her skin is so pale that it makes her worry that she’s come down with something. She hasn’t seen anything on the news that would suggest a big enough fight that Kara would have blown out her powers but since she’s been so out of the loop for the last few days, she can’t know for sure.

“You look like crap.” She says, her mouth working before her brain can tell her that saying something like that to someone struggling might not be her brightest idea.

“Thanks.” Kara murmurs, her voice raspy, a clear sign she’s been crying. 

Lena reaches out and takes one of Kara’s hands between both of hers. “Have you solar flared?”

“No, not this time. I’m just…” Kara’s eyes drift down to her feet as she finds the right word. “I’m just drained.”

Accepting that answer, Lena guides her over to the couch. Drained is exactly how Kara looks and she’s pretty worried that she doesn’t have enough in the tank to talk about what’s going on. Her worry is that Kara is going to let whatever is eating at her consume her whole. 

“You do realize that we have to talk, don’t you?” Lena latches her gaze onto Kara’s, moving her head when Kara tries to look away to keep the eye contact, rebuilding her connection to Kara one step at a time. 

Kara just barely nods, her chin wobbling and her teeth gritted. She knows she can’t avoid this forever, she just wishes she could avoid it for a little longer. “Can I get water first?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Lena allows Kara to pull her hand free. It’s obvious that Kara’s thoughts aren’t actually on water, she’s just trying to buy herself some time. It’s less clear whether that’s because she’s trying to compose herself or she’s trying to buy more time, even if it’s just a few measly seconds. 

Kara’s hands shake as she reaches up into the cabinet to grab a glass. Attempting to quell her impatience, Lena tries to guess which glass she thinks Kara will pick since none of them match. She guesses wrong. Rather than a large, blue-tinted, bowl-shaped one she often chooses because it’s always at the front, she chooses a clear one, plain and regimented. A glass with no personality. 

Each movement Kara makes is tracked dutifully by Lena but the blonde doesn’t notice. She’s too caught up in her own thoughts, having already filled the glass and started mindlessly sipping, her expression completely vacant. 

Lena takes this as her moment. This is as calm as Kara is going to be and she thinks gentle reassurance is the answer to getting her to open up with less resistance. She pushes herself off the couch and moves slowly towards the kitchen, keeping her movements obvious. The last thing she wants to do is startle Kara.

“Kara, before I say anything else, I want to tell you that whatever it is you’re going through and whatever feelings you’re dealing with, it’s alright to feel weak. You are allowed to feel weak and feel whatever comes your way. It doesn’t mean you aren’t strong and capable. Talking about what’s bothering you doesn’t make you weak. You are one of the strongest people I know.

“Earlier, I was thinking about something you told me once. You told me that on Krypton it was considered brave to express your fears, that hiding them serves no purpose. I think that’s something us humans could learn from your people and I’d like to start practising that myself. I feel that if anyone could show me how it’s done, my alien best friend who is the strongest person I know could provide a good example.” 

Kara scoffs. She gets why Lena is trying to come from that angle, an attempt to entice her into talking by incorporating Krypton into her speech. Lena’s smart enough to realize the feelings she’s hiding stem from her home planet. “Feeling weak isn’t the issue.” 

“No? Then why are you hiding? I can see that you’re protecting yourself from something but that protection isn’t doing its job, it’s suffocating you. I just want to help, Kara. You might be a mighty Kryptonian and have a whole bunch of powers that us delicate humans don’t, but I can still help. I can’t hear a raindrop from miles away or lift a car but I can listen and lift some of the weight from your chest.” 

Kara shakes her head, her lips tightening and her jaw clenching so tight it’s painful. “You really don’t get it.” 

“Get what? Tell me so I can understand.” Lena presses and goes to take a step closer to Kara but she’s out of reach and pacing through her kitchen before she can make any significant progress. 

“You don’t get it. I’m not an alien because of that.” The words are harsh, almost spat at Lena and coated in a thick layer of hatred. 

To her credit, Lena does try to make sense of the sentence, mentally dissecting it, flipping it, and studying it in as much detail as she can in the short space of time before Kara gives up on expressing herself. Unfortunately for her, her brain just can’t figure this one out. “What do you mean?” 

Kara’s lips wobble, a wet anger overtaking her as her eyes fill with unshed tears she stubbornly refuses to let slip. “You think I’m an alien because of what I can do. Everyone does. None of you understand.” 

Lena frowns so deeply her face aches, her mind buzzing away trying to fully understand the half-explanations she’s getting. “Kara, I–”

“You know what? It’s fine. You’ll never get it.” Kara throws her hands up, her pacing stopping so she can pick up her glass and take another sip. It’s the angriest sip Lena has ever seen and she’s seen herself in a mirror taking a drink after an eight-hour board meeting. 

“You’re right, I’ll never get it if you don’t explain it to me. Come on, I know you’re smarter than I am. In fact, you’re smarter than pretty much everyone on this planet, right? You were the youngest member to ever be accepted into the science guild. You told me that. You have to give me a minute to catch up.” 

For a fraction of a moment, it looks like Lena has slightly won Kara over. The glass isn’t released but it’s resting on top of the counter, Kara’s hand still surrounding it. It’s short-lived because Lena makes the misguided mistake of continuing. 

“You’re our smart, strong Kryptonian and you always know how to help us humans out when we need a hand. You use your strength to help when we need it, or your speed, or in cases like this, your intellect.” 

The glass flies across the room and lands in a shattered heap in the sink. “For fuck’s sake! You still don’t fucking get it!” Kara’s never raised her voice to her like this before. She’s practically screaming, her eyes held wide as though she’s prepared to turn her to dust at any moment. On top of that, she can’t remember the last time she’s ever heard Kara swear at someone. She’s sworn before, of course, but it’s always because she’s dropped something or knocked something over, not screaming at someone she loves in pure unadulterated rage. 

“Kara…” Lena trails off, frozen in place. She knows Kara would never hurt her but there’s something about the look of pure, barely restrained anger and having the knowledge that she would be dead in seconds if Kara lost control even for an instant. 

Kara sucks in a sharp breath, her eyes slamming closed and her palms covering them. Lena spots a faint glow lighting up the flesh and her breath stutters when it clicks in her head that Kara is firing her heat vision off on her own hands. That or it’s happening on its own and she’s attempting to protect Lena from it. She’d much prefer to believe the latter. 

The glow fades and Kara’s hands fall from her eyes, the palms singed black. “This is why you should have stayed away.” She snaps.

“I’m not leaving.” Lena states, clenching her hands into fists to stop the unwanted shake from being visible. 

“I’m not safe to be around.” 

“Perhaps, perhaps not. Either way, I’ve been in more dangerous situations and I’m going to stay until I understand, Kara. One way or another, I will understand and I will help you.”

Kara’s head shakes and tears finally fall. “You can’t help me, Lena.”

“Try me. Tell me what you meant when you said that you’re not an alien because of what you do.” 

Kara’s head drops forward, a violent sob wracking her body. “I can’t.” 

“Yes, you can.” Lena hurries forward, taking Kara’s burnt hands carefully into her own. She avoids touching the centre of each, afraid of hurting her. 

“I…Supergirl is…I don’t.” Kara attempts the start of her explanation a few times, her face scrunching up and her head shaking each time she rejects the explanations. 

Lena stays close, refusing to let her go, her thumbs caress Kara’s wrists carefully. “Take your time, I’m not going anywhere.” 

Kara sniffs loudly. “I’m not an alien because I’m Supergirl.” 

“I know that, silly.” Lena tries to joke but Kara’s not laughing. 

“You don’t.” 

“Of course I do. You’re an alien because you’re a Kryptonian.”

Kara bites her lip hard enough that Lena winces at the sight. “I don’t get to be myself as an alien because of Supergirl. She’s not an alien. Not really.”

“I’m kind of following but I’ll need more of an explanation.” Lena admits. “Can we sit down and talk more?” 

Kara pulls her hands loose and cradles them to her chest. She starts pacing again. “I can’t sit. I have too much in my head. I can’t–” She loses her words and loses her temper again. She roughly combs her fingers through her messy golden locks and brutally digs them into her scalp.

“Hey, hey. You’re ok.” Lena holds her hands out in front of Kara, not touching her but making sure she’s close. “You have too much energy and too much to work through to calm down enough to sit, it’s ok. I’m not in a hurry, just think about what you want to say and speak when you have found the right words.”

She doesn’t get a verbal response but Kara’s hands stop clawing at her head and her pacing is less agitated. Lena assumes she’s getting through to her little by little. There is one thing that is abundantly clear though, Kara has been struggling with this for a lot longer than she realized and something tipped her over the edge.

Kara swallows down the lump in her throat. “When people think of me as an alien, they think of Supergirl. They think Supergirl is the alien in this scenario, but I disagree. I think Supergirl is as human as they come.” 

Lena’s face scrunches in confusion. “How so?” 

Kara shrugs, her anger starting to dissipate the more she shares. “She was born on Earth. Her powers are made from the Earth’s yellow sun. Supergirl can fly because of your sun and the optimal gravitational pull of this planet. Sure, physiology comes into play but Supergirl has never and would never have existed on Krypton.” 

A sudden dawning recognition hits Lena with the force of a freight train, her eyes widen and she lets out a soft gasp. “Right, because Krypton had the red sun, Rao. You didn’t experience any of that. You’re an alien because of your memories and experiences of Krypton, not the ones forced on you living beneath a yellow sun.” 

“My culture makes me an alien. My life on Krypton makes me an alien. The life I lost makes me an alien. Anything that’s happened on Earth? That makes me human and I’m not a human. I don’t feel human, but I have all of this humanity in me that just feels…wrong. I feel like a fraud, Lena. I’m living a lie and I don’t know how to cope with that.”

Lena wants to reach out so badly, to take Kara into her arms again and never let her go. “Do you feel like a fraud as Supergirl or Kara?” She’s almost afraid of the answer, one being significantly worse than the other.

“Both.” Kara’s lips wobble, her eyes close, and her chest heaves with a sob she won’t let escape.

“How can I help?”

Kara’s head shakes from side to side, the movement starts off slow but gets quicker until Lena can’t take it anymore. She walks right up to her and stops the motion with a hand on either side of her face. In response, Kara’s hands fly up to her wrists, but they don’t try to push her away. Her trembling fingertips rest gently against her skin, the shake of them vibrates the flesh because, in her attempt to keep her strength contained, her superspeed activates against her will.

It tickles and Lena has to suppress a smile despite herself. “I’ve got you.”

“I don’t think I can live like this, Lena. How can I live this way when I hate who I am?”

If Lena’s heart wasn’t broken before, it is now. In fact, it shatters into so many fractals that even a world-class jigsaw master couldn’t piece it back together again. “You—” Lena isn’t sure how to build off that. How is she meant to provide any level of meaningful comfort in the face of such a bold, gut-wrenching admission? “Kara…”

Kara sniffs loudly and turns away from her, leaving her standing with her arms held up in the place Kara���s face was. Lena takes a second to reanimate herself, her body slowed by the empathetic agony ravaging her brain.

Kara stalks around the loft before settling in the living room. She stands there for a second, her hands clenching and unclenching as she tries to make a decision that should be simple.  However, in her current state, it is the hardest she’s ever been faced with. Her eyes dart between the couch and the chairs several times. Lena notices. Of course she does, her eyes haven’t left Kara since she moved. She takes the decision out of Kara’s hands by meeting her in the living room and guiding her onto the couch with a gentle hand on her waist.

“There’s nothing I can say to take the pain away, Kara. I wish there was.” Lena says, her voice barely more than a whisper as she piles herself onto the couch beside Kara. She pulls her legs up beside her as she sits at an angle.

“I’ve spent so much time hiding who I am that I can’t remember which parts of me are real anymore. I do know that I’m not what everyone thinks I am, and that makes me so…mad.” Her teeth grit and her hands clench once more. She turns her head away from Lena, terrified that she’s going to scare her off and then she’ll truly be alone. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore.

Lena closes a hand over the clenched fist that is closest to her. “It’s ok to be angry.”

“I just…” Kara’s head drops down, her gaze settling on their joined hands. “I’ve been trying to figure out who I was and who I am, but I didn’t expect to feel so ashamed.”

“Ashamed of who you are or who you’ve become?”

“All of it,” Kara admits, finally looking up into the comforting green of Lena’s eyes. “I’ve been pushing my true, Kryptonian self aside for so long that it feels wrong to try and live authentically. It feels like I’m doing something dirty. I can’t just be Supergirl because she’s a whole other mess that I loathe. I love being able to help people, and the powers can be cool, but I want to feel normal again. I want to feel the same way I did as a kid when I got to wake up in the morning and my first thought wasn’t about being careful so my feet didn’t go through the floorboards. I want to feel that again.”

Lena goes to speak but Kara’s not done. Now that she’s started, she can’t stop.

“Supergirl is everything I thought I needed to be because of what happened to Krypton and what happened to me when I came to Earth. My parents sent me here to protect my cousin, but that wasn’t possible. Instead, I protect everyone. My powers, the ones I never asked for, make sure I can do that. It just fuels this need inside me to prove that my existence outside of Krypton isn’t worthless. That my carefully scripted future, the one torn away from me, means something. I was supposed to be one of the greatest scientists in the Andromeda galaxy. I wanted to be.”

“And what about Kara Danvers?” Lena asks, terrified to hear Kara shred that part of herself to pieces too.

“She’s a lie,” Kara matter-of-factly states.

“How so?”

Kara sighs, “She’s the person I created so I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life alone.”

“Why would you be alone?”

Kara looks at her like she’s just asked the dumbest question on Earth. “This planet doesn’t accept different.”

Lena can’t deny that. “Ok, carry on with your Kara Danvers explanation.”

Kara’s eyes roll as she remembers the point she was making and continues her explanation. “She is a big part of me, I can admit that, but fundamentally, we couldn’t be more different. The hard part is that I’ve spent so long pretending to be her that the mask is a reflex. I respond to situations and questions as her, but I can’t tell where she ends and the real me begins anymore.”

“You don’t think there’s an overlap? That you’re both part of Kara Zor-El?”

“I don’t know who I am. How am I meant to figure that out? What kind of pathetic person doesn’t even know who they are?”

“Hey.” Lena scolds. “I don’t care how upset you are or how much you’re struggling, nobody calls my best friend pathetic. You hear me?”

Kara nods dumbly, more to humour Lena than anything else. “Ok.”

“Good. Since you want to figure out who you are, we’ll do it together.”

“How?”

Lena shrugs. “I’m not exactly sure, but that’s ok. We can figure it out together. Maybe we can start by talking about the person you remember being back when you were on Krypton. If we figure out who you were then maybe we can figure out who you want to be now.”

Kara nods, but it’s apparent that she’s entirely uncertain. Not just about the method but also talking about Krypton. She lets little droplets of information out during conversations when she’s exceptionally relaxed or at ease, but usually only with Alex or Lena. Still, she never has a full-blown conversation with anyone about her past life. The thought alone brings the pain bubbling back to the surface, the fire that took Krypton melting her skin from the inside out.

Lena can sense her trepidation; it’s written all over her face. “We can take it as slow as you need. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

As though she doesn’t really believe her, the hand closest to Lena starts moving and searching until she finds the edge of Lena’s sweater. Her fingers hook into it and close tightly around the fabric. Lena looks down at the knuckles that have whitened with the pressure and briefly thinks that Kara might rip her sweater. Internally, she quickly reminds herself that her sweater is the last thing that matters right now.

Lena scoots closer to Kara so their legs touch and she wraps her arm around the back of the couch, her fingertips almost brushing Kara’s opposite shoulder. Within a few seconds, she subconsciously starts playing with strands of blonde hair and Kara fully leans into her, soaking in the pure comfort of Lena’s embrace.

“Tell me about Krypton, Kara.”

Those words are everything Kara has wanted to hear for years and also everything she doesn’t right now. The duality of it confuses her more than anything, she’s at war with herself and it’s one she can’t predict the outcome of.

“Please.” Lena rests her head against Kara’s.

A stuttering breath.

“Ok.”

“Were you a happy kid?” Lena asks.

It’s definitely not the question she is anticipating. She expected Lena to ask about science or technology, maybe a question or two about the school system or healthcare on Krypton, but this one? A question solely focused on her, not Krypton? It catches her off guard. This isn’t a selfish question, not at all. The fact that she thought so little of Lena, to think she would use this opportunity to quell her curious mind, makes her feel guilty.

“I was.” Kara nudges her head closer to Lena’s, readjusting to find the comfiest spot. “The happiest. I barely remember any time when I was really sad, more than just dumb kid stuff.”

“Like what?”

“When I was eight, I was playing with my Aunt Astra. I was chasing her and I tripped. My forehead smashed against a table in the living room and I knocked off some fancy decorative vase my mom had just bought. I felt so bad because my mom had been raving about that vase all week.”

Lena winces at the thought of a tiny eight-year-old Kara flying into a table face first, her little face quickly dampening with her tears. “Were you alright?”

“I was mostly ok. That’s how I got this scar on my forehead.” Kara places a finger atop her scar and turns her face to show Lena. “I guess the yellow sun doesn’t heal old wounds.”

“I guess not.” Lena frowns, trying to figure out the science of how that works.

“Anyway, my mom was more concerned with the blood pouring down my face, as any mother would, but even at that age, I could see how sad she was about the vase. I tried to pick up the pieces so I could fix it.”

Lena’s lips quirk up. “Let me guess, you cut yourself?”

“Oh, big time. Aunt Astra practically ripped my hand off pulling me away from the shards but it was too late, I cut the palm of my hand. It didn’t really scar since it was a shallow cut. It hurt like a bitch though. It was the first time I ever swore. It was also the first time my mom spanked me so hard I couldn’t sit down for at least an hour after.”

It’s unavoidable at that point, Lena can’t hold back her laughter. Her chest shakes and her free hand comes up to cover her mouth in a solid attempt to stifle her laughter. It doesn’t work well, and Kara ends up side-eyeing her for laughing. It only lasts for five seconds before she admits that it’s funny and starts smiling along to the melody of Lena’s giggles.

“Sorry.” Lena reduces her laughter down to nothing more than a smile. “It’s just funny to think of a baby you swearing and your mom setting you over her knee.”

Kara rolls her eyes at her. “Well, I never went over her knee. She just lifted me off the ground by my elbow with one hand and then took aim. One spank and it was over, but it was a good one.”

Lena just barely managed to hold in her laugh this time. “And what happened after that?”

“She hugged me and told me not to worry about the vase. My aunt and mom cleaned me up, got a bandage on my head and hand, then we carried on about the day like nothing happened. The next day though, my aunt came to pick me up and took me to this sculpting class held by the Art Guild. She helped me create a sculpture of a H’Raka. It’s sort of like a dragon with four wings, an animal native to Krypton. My uncle Jor-El actually had one that I rode once. It was incredible and I remember wishing that one day, I’d be able to fly every day. I guess my wish came true in a way. Now, I wish it hadn’t.”

“I’m sorry.” Lena snuggles closer, her fingers still gently twisting Kara’s hair in loops.

“Don’t be. It’s not something anyone can control.” She clears her throat before getting back to the story. “So, we made the H’Raka sculpture and I gave it to my father. I remember being really frustrated because I couldn’t get the wings right, but he told me it was perfect, and I felt so proud. My mom told me it was the perfect thing to replace the vase and it was much better because it was made with love for my father. She never moved it. She used to rearrange that room every few months when she got bored but the sculpture? She never moved it.”

“They really loved you.” Lena brushes Kara’s hair back out of her face, revealing red blotchy skin from crying.

“I loved them.”

“So, you were a creative little perfectionist and obviously a daddy’s girl.” Lena deduces. “That’s something to build from.”

Kara smiles sadly. “I guess so.”

Lena nuzzles closer. “You’ve always been creative and I know that you still paint so that’s all you. That’s not something that you’ve done to fit in, that’s Kara Zor-El.”

Kara nods, her smile brightening. “I suppose it is.”

“There’s more of you still lingering than you think, Kara. You think you suppressed yourself when you came here and while that’s true to some extent, nobody can bury their true self indefinitely. The real you will always shine through. It’s time for you to find those pieces and reconnect with them, fully and truly.”

Kara bites the inside of her cheek. Self-doubt is already gnawing at her again. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Live as your true self? Why not? Because you’re unsure you can find her again or because you can’t imagine allowing yourself to live authentically?” 

“I think it’s because it would be difficult to dredge up the parts of myself that I buried long ago. Plus the added pressure of fighting with everyone in my life telling me I’m being selfish and putting others in danger simply by being Kryptonian. By being who I really am, an actual alien and not a superpowered human.

Lena’s eyebrows scrunch up in confusion, causing lines to form across her forehead. “Who would say that? Our friends only want the best for you and Alex is the most protective older sister on the planet. She’d never let anyone talk badly about you.”

“Alex is protective. That’s the point. She’s so overprotective that whenever I’ve tried to introduce a part of my culture into my life, she’s told me I’m being reckless. She’s constantly telling me that I need to ensure I’m not displaying any signs of my alien heritage because it might get someone hurt. I understand where she’s coming from, I do, but I need to have a connection to Krypton. I need to feel that tether back to my true self. I’m afraid if I don’t, if I continue to listen to others, I’ll lose myself forever. And that scares me the most.”

Lena knows Alex has always been a big advocate for Kara keeping her identity a secret, but she never realized that her protective nature is a large part of why Kara feels disconnected, lost. Thinking about it now though, she can see why it has affected her so deeply. Kara looks up to her big sister. She’s always relied on her for advice, so in Kara’s life, Alex’s word might as well be law.

“What are some of the ways you’ve tried to introduce your culture into your life? I think focusing on your culture and adding it back into your life is a great way to reconnect with yourself, to remember who you are.”

“You saw some of it.”

“The meditation?” Lena asks, her mind suddenly replaying all of the moments in the past few weeks. She thinks back to all of the times when Kara behaved strangely before darting off or suddenly changing the subject.

Kara nods. “Yeah. There’s that, and I am trying to do it regularly. I recite ancient Kryptonian meditation rituals meant to help strengthen the mind. I’ve also been making frequent trips to the Fortress of Solitude. I use a red sun emitter to recreate my physiology on Krypton so I can relax without my powers getting in the way.”

“If you’re only practicing the meditation and rituals at the Fortress, you’re not truly bridging your life and your culture. Do you think, even subconsciously, you’re restricting the meditation to that place in an attempt to hide what you’re doing?”

“Yeah. I think there’s a part of me that’s ashamed and that’s why I hide it. Maybe?” Kara’s voice is small as she admits it. She nervously bites her lip before finding Lena’s eyes. “It obviously didn’t work with you, huh? You found me anyway.”

Lena shifts so the hand hanging over the back of the couch rests directly over Kara’s shoulders. She pulls her in closer. “You know I’ll always find you. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’re hiding from or what you’re struggling with. You can’t keep me away for long.”

“Clearly.” Kara teases half-heartedly. “You threatened to take my door off like I’m a stroppy teenager grounded by an overly strict parent.”

Lena snickers, pressing her lips to Kara’s cheek without thinking too much of it. “Sorry, it was the only thing I could think of to get you to open it and I was getting worried. I am worried.”

“I didn’t mean to worry you.” Kara looks genuinely remorseful and presses herself ever closer to Lena, taking the comfort she craves as Lena willingly hands it over. “I didn’t want you seeing me like this. I was hoping to get my head straight before showing my face again.”

Lena sighs softly. “I think it’s high time you stop trying to handle everything on your own and let me share some of the weight you carry on your shoulders. I want to help, Kara. Please let me.”

“But—”

“No buts, I’m here and so are our friends. I’ll talk to Alex and get her to back off. She probably doesn’t realize the pain she’s caused you.” She pauses. “Besides, you deserve to explore your culture, to rediscover it again. And, if it’s ok with you, I want to explore it with you.”

“Really? You would really want to do that?”

“I would absolutely love to.” Lena confirms.

Kara ducks her head, her lips just barely curl into a smile and her cheeks flush red. “Thank you.”

“Always.”

Kara’s tongue darts out to wet her dry lips. “So, do you want to hear more about Krypton?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Lena nudges her with an affectionate smile on her face. The arm wrapped around Kara’s shoulders stops her from moving away. “I want to hear more about you, silly.”

“What do you want to know?”

The answer comes easily to Lena. “Anything you’re willing to share. Everything you’re willing to share. I want to know everything, and I want to help you piece together every part of yourself until you feel whole again.”

All at once, Kara realizes that the chaotic energy that is running amuck through her body has dissipated. Her overwhelming need to keep moving is gone, and the stiffness in her neck from the stress has loosened somewhat. All of this is from one conversation with Lena. It’s just the start, that much is evident, but a start she so desperately needs.

“Do you think I’ll ever just wake up and feel like I’m living my truth instead of a lie?” Kara asks, a crinkle forming between her eyebrows as she awaits Lena’s answer.

“I don’t think that’s something anyone can promise, but I can promise that whatever you feel or whoever you are, I am with you. You’re a mixture of three people right now, and you might not know how to navigate your way through it, but I know who you are, Kara. I think I’ve always loved the person you are, even when you didn’t. I see you clear as day, and I love who I see.”

“You do?” Kara’s heart pounds and her breath catches in her throat. She thinks those words might be the most unexpected thing Lena has said all day.

It’s not something Lena set out to admit today, or ever for that matter, but taking it back would only cause Kara more pain. If putting her own heart on the line spares Kara some pain, she’s willing to do it. “I do.”

Kara looks nervous. It’s something Lena picks up on with no difficulty. The fingers still entwined with her sweater push through the material. Kara still maintains her grip beneath the gentle, blanketing weight of Lena’s hand. A thin layer of sweat forms between them but neither wants to move nor pay it any mind.

“You don’t have to say it back or feel any obligation to return my feelings. I need you to know you are still as loved and accepted as you were before you came to Earth. You have at least one person that looks at you like you’re the brightest star in the sky, someone that sees you for exactly who you are, Kara. Even when you don’t see it yourself.”

“Why?” The word comes out in a broken crack. The disbelief in Kara’s voice is a vice crushing Lena’s ribs, making it hard for her to breathe.

Lena adjusts, her arm unwraps from Kara’s shoulders, the hand covering Kara’s moves so she can shift, and she looks directly into Kara’s eyes. Her hands cup Kara’s face with a delicacy that Kara hasn’t experienced since she felt those first beating rays of the warm yellow sun that makes her practically invincible. Now, it makes her feel like that tender touch is all that is keeping her from shattering into a million pieces.

“How could I not?” Lena whispers. “You’re my everything.”

“I’m not. I don’t even know—”

Lena’s thumb cuts her off as it rests across her lips. “No. You don’t have everything worked out, and you’re only beginning your journey of figuring yourself out, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see your beauty. It doesn’t mean I can’t look at you and see you for exactly who you are. My Kara. My alien from Krypton. A woman who is a little bruised but not as broken as she thinks. My best friend, someone that I will never leave to face the journey alone, I promise.”

Kara’s lips wobble beneath Lena’s thumb, the warm skin has moved from pressing to stroking over her bottom lip in precise strokes, only exacerbating the desire to do one thing.

She leans in and presses her lips to Lena’s. It’s needy and desperate. Lena is her life raft in the middle of a raging ocean. The waves tower twenty feet overhead and crash down on her but Lena braves the storm and keeps her afloat.

Lena pushes her back slightly as they break away from the lingering kiss to breathe. “I need you to be sure, Kara. I love you and I will be by your side no matter what, but don’t do this if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it.”

Kara presses back in and this time, there’s no resistance. Her hands, still cupping Kara’s face, start to stray. One entangles in messy blonde hair and the other stokes at a damp cheek, wiping away tears as they come and making a promise to do so forevermore if that’s what it takes.

Kara separates their lips just enough to murmur words that make Lena feel like the luckiest woman walking the Earth. “I love you too. I may not know much right now, but I know that and I’ve known it for a while.”

There’s a brief attempt for another kiss but it’s impossible around the smiles they’re now sporting. Smiles more genuine than any that have ever graced their faces before. Lena leans back to take in the moment, to fully commit Kara to her memory. The tears do nothing to dampen the happiness of the moment. Tears Lena is well aware will make their way down her face.

Kara sucks in a deep breath, attempting to calm the hummingbird flutter of her heart. “So, where do we go from here?”

“We do exactly what we already said we would.” Lena answers in a low murmur. “We will explore the things you need to do so you can live your life as your most authentic self, and we keep doing it until you look in the mirror and see what I see. We keep going until you can’t take your eyes off yourself because you truly love what you see. Every time you look, I want you to find something about yourself that you thought was lost forever. I want you to stare and search for that certain something that will catch your eye and make you realize something even more profoundly and perfectly, Kara.”

“And what about you?”

“I’ll be here every step of the way.” Lena leans up to press a chaste kiss to Kara’s forehead, avoiding the dampened cheeks, tears glistening against tan skin. “I’ll be here on the days when the first thing you think about is being careful not to put your feet through the floor, and I’ll be here on the days when you rediscover something new to love about yourself. It’s going to be a slow process. You won’t find yourself overnight and you won’t find the peace you seek without a long slog through your trauma, but I’ll still be here. Every step, every fall, every triumph, Kara. I’ll be here.”

Kara’s sobs break the intensity in the air from Lena’s speech. She topples forward and buries herself into Lena’s chest, her head falls beneath Lena’s chin and her hands scramble for fresh purchase in the back of her sweater, balancing the holes she already created in the front. “You’ll really wait for me to do all of that?”

“I’m not waiting for anything, darling. Whether you’re struggling or thriving, happy or sad, angry or loving, I’m here and I’m ecstatic you’re letting me be. You give me so much more than you realize, not just as Kara Danvers or Supergirl. Hell, not even as Kara Zor-El. You give me so much as the woman who shows up at my office to bring me food because you know I’ll work through lunch otherwise. You’re the woman that happily sat through hours of board game practice with me because I was nervous to meet your friends. You let me put all my anxiety into the actual games of game night because you knew that wasn’t what I was actually scared about. You’re the woman that shows up at my place with a bottle of wine and open arms when you know I’ve had a bad day. And you do it all just because you care.”

“That’s how I know I’m not waiting. I get to be with the kindest, most loving, nurturing woman, no matter what else is going on. Some parts of you show through no matter what mask you wear, and those are the parts I love the most. The parts that made me fall in love with you in the first place.”

Kara weeps into Lena’s chest and allows Lena to hold her so tightly that it feels like her handprints will be tattooed over her spine tomorrow. Lena does her best to hold back her own tears, but today’s emotional drain takes its toll. The pain she feels for Kara heavily outweighs the joy of knowing that Kara loves her back in ways she’s never spoken aloud.

Above all, the hope outweighs the pain.

Lena always sees Kara, but now she can see her more clearly. She’s been granted a peek into Kara’s soul. Her alien, Kryptonian soul.

A lesson has been learned today, an important one. Supergirl is not an alien. Supergirl is merely a vessel for humans to selfishly take the help Kara offers without acknowledging who she is, or rather, what she is.

Kara is a Kryptonian and Lena will help her rediscover what that means. Every part of it if that’s what Kara’s heart desires. She’s barely gotten Kara to scratch the surface of her life on Krypton, and tomorrow they will make another scratch. Every scratch will bring them closer to the answers they seek. It’s a shame that the deeper they scratch, the more Kara will bleed. Her pain is inevitable in the search for who she is, but Lena is here to hold her through it, to kiss it better when all is said and done. That’s her promise and she has no intention of ever breaking it. 

-

“It kind of feels full circle, doesn’t it?” Lena asks, smiling at the sparkling beauty around them.

“What do you mean?” Kara questions, the back of her hand brushing against Lena’s as they walk through the cold air swirling through The Fortress of Solitude.

Lena vaguely gestures around her. “Being here. This is the first glimpse I got into the actual alien you are, where I got to see a tiny snippet of your culture, and now here we are again. I see you so clearly. You’re sharing a part of yourself with me in the same place I first realized there is more of you to see.”

The words carve themselves deep into Kara’s soul. It’s everything she spent years longing to hear whilst simultaneously being everything she was once afraid of. Now though, it’s not something she’s fearful of but something she cherishes and embraces.  

“I’m glad you see me.” Kara’s smile is wide and bright, something that she hasn’t felt in a long time. 

“I’m glad you let me see you, and I’m honoured you feel safe enough to be so open with me.” Lena fully entwines her hands with Kara’s, annoyed by having her hand so close and yet so far. 

Kara’s fingers press lightly into the back of Lena’s hand in response, the gentle squeeze saying everything she can’t find the words to say aloud.

“Well, if you’re ready to see a little bit more of me, come right this way.” Kara smiles, pulling Lena with her as she veers off to the entrance of one of the many hallways of the fortress.

Lena’s eyes darken and her lips quirk up into a smirk. She has no issues following Kara’s lead through the unfamiliar space. After all, there’s probably a bedroom through here, right? Her eyes trace the soft curve of Kara’s backside, exposed thanks to Lena’s spare hand purposely holding the cape out of the way so it doesn’t obscure her view.

Kara feels the tugging on her cape as she rounds the corner and looks back, ready to unhook it from wherever it’s gotten stuck. She sighs dramatically when she sees it’s just Lena, but a twinkle in her eyes lets Lena know she secretly loves the attention.

Lena giggles to herself all the way down the hall. Her smile drops when she sees where Kara has taken her because there is no bed in sight, and that’s a real problem. “Wait, we’re not finding somewhere to…” Lena trails off and wiggles her eyebrows at Kara, who can only suppress a smile in return. The silly motion makes her want to bundle Lena up in her arms and head somewhere to fulfil her request.

“Maybe we can revisit that idea later if you’re good.” Kara teases, closing the door to give Lena a chance to properly take in her surroundings and let the disappointment from the lack of a bed settle.

“I’ll have you know that I’m always good.” Lena mumbles, her eyes tracing over several large closets. She touches the edge of one and it activates. A panel slides across and out of the way to reveal what’s inside. “I knew it would do that.” She claims, earning herself a laugh.

“Wow, two lies back-to-back. How did I get so lucky to end up with you?”

Lena’s head turns to her so fast that Kara wonders if she’s somehow absorbed some of her powers as she stumbles back from the force of the glare. “Hey! That’s mean.”

“Woah.” Kara’s eyes widen as she takes in the sharp look Lena’s sending her way. “Ok, so that’s how I will end up on the couch. Got it.”

Lena can’t hold the look for long, Kara’s shocked expression breaking her out of her charade. Her face softens, and a triumphant grin replaces the harsh lines of the patented glare. She raises a finger to Kara’s face. “Be nice to me.”

“Wait, weren’t you the one lying?”

“That holds no bearing on this conversation.” Lena dismisses with a wave of her hand, refocusing on the closet.

Kara is left standing behind her with a lasting case of whiplash, wondering what just happened. She’s sure that argument was hers to win, but somehow Lena came out on top. Something tells her that’s going to be a staple in their relationship. Something else tells her that she doesn’t mind at all and she’s grateful she’s the one in a relationship with her.

Moving closer to Lena, Kara wraps her arms around her waist from behind and rests her chin on her shoulder. “These are all Kryptonian clothes. I had Kelex recreate them a few weeks ago when I first started meditating again. I figured they might make me feel closer to home but I struggled with the thought of wearing them. I think that there’s a better chance of me finding the courage to do so if you wear them with me.”

Lena turns in Kara’s arms, meeting her eyes. “You want me to wear Kryptonian clothes with you?”

There’s a vulnerability lurking just behind Kara’s eyes. She’s trying to hide it, Lena can see as much in the tension of her jaw, but she can’t hide it from her.

“Please.”

“As if you even have to ask.”

“I don’t just mean here, Lena.” Kara clarifies. Lena’s face scrunches in confusion so Kara explains further. “I booked a slot at the local museum; they’re allowing me to give a talk…about Krypton.”

Lena looks up at Kara, her lips curl into a proud smile and her eyes glisten with adoration. “Are you sure you’re ready? That’s a really big step. A public one at that.”

Kara shrugs. “I don’t know, but how will I know if I don’t try? I booked the time slot for their quiet period thinking that not many people will show up. I booked it under ‘Supergirl’ though, so I can’t say for sure. I don’t want my culture to die with me, Lena. If I don’t talk about it and educate people, even if those people are human, not Kryptonian, then all my knowledge will be lost, it’ll be worthless. I want to share my planet's celebrations, festivals and history. I want to show off the incredible scientific feats and technological advancements. I want everyone to see Krypton's art and beauty, and I have the power to do that. I have to do that.”

“Then I’ll be beside you while you do.” Lena presses a reassuring kiss to her lips. “When is your talk?”

Kara manoeuvres Lena’s wrist and peels back the sleeve of her shirt to look at the time. “In about…two hours.”

“Two hours? Kara, that’s barely any time. We need to hurry up and get ready.” Lena scrambles out of Kara’s embrace and starts rummaging through the closet to assess her options, only to be immediately confronted with the fact that she has no idea what kind of Kryptonian garb is appropriate for such an event. She turns back to Kara to whine, “Help me.”

“Ok, ok. I’m coming.” Kara saunters up to her side, but not before she melts a little at how cute Lena’s being.

-

Lena is proud. Extremely proud. The proudest. 

Looking up at the tiny stage Kara stands with a proud smile that could outshine the sun, she’s never been prouder.

It’s only a small step above the rest of the floor, but between Kara’s squared shoulders and everyone being seated as they watch her talk, Kara looks fifty feet tall. Lena can’t take her eyes off her, not for even a second. She’s completely mesmerized and has no intention of moving from her spot, front and centre.

Lena runs her fingertips over the felt-like texture of her dress. She originally wanted to go for the most alien design in the closet, partially to prove to Kara that she is accepting of every aspect of her culture. However, Kara swayed her from that idea, probably seeing through her intentions and wanting her to be comfortable.

Kara pushed her towards a dress, one that isn’t really Lena’s style but she admits it makes her look phenomenal. It’s also an incredibly beautiful, artistically designed article of clothing, one of the most stunning she’s ever seen. Kara made a good choice, even if it’s not something Lena would choose for herself.

It’s an asymmetrical design where the material sweeps up over her left shoulder and tumbles into a cape down that side. It has soft pleats with three of the tiniest, most delicate chains intermingling with the fabric. The tiny links attach to the belt, which is beautiful in and of itself. Gold chains bracket the edges. The centre is obsidian, carved into refined hoops lined with microscopic leaves, looking almost like wreaths. The belt is made up of the finest details and sits steadfast against her waist, a marvel that perfectly contradicts the dress's colour and pattern.

The dress is pale gold, dulled but still striking. The pattern is what really catches Lena’s eye. It’s a symphony of shapes and lines. She can’t decipher exactly what it’s meant to be, a mixture of vague floral swirls and shapes that depict a language she’ll never understand, not Kryptonese but something more profound—a language that enfolds everything about Krypton and nothing all at once.

It hugs her body tightly down to just below her knees, a hug from the softest material she’s ever had the pleasure of wearing and based on Kara’s roving eyes since she put it on, she looks sexy as hell in it.

Despite the beauty of Lena’s outfit, Kara firmly believes that the most beautiful part of Lena is the smile she’s worn since the moment she took her place on the stage to share her culture.

There’s a much bigger crowd than she expected but none of that matters. She can look into Lena’s eyes and tell her all about the parts of Krypton she’s always wanted to share, the parts that aren’t overshadowed by death and destruction. The happier times.

She teaches the group everything she remembers about the festivals from her childhood and the education system she learned from. Afterwards, she takes questions. The first is from a little girl, barely nine, curious about her clothes. A question she’s more than happy to answer.

“Usually, for an event like this, Kryptonians wear robes, but I thought that since my best robes are red and blue, I’d give your eyes a rest and go for something a little different.” Kara smiles at the wide-eyed enamoured expression on the little girl’s face. It’s clear she’s drinking up every word. “It’s also common for Kryptonian speakers to wear a single colour so they don’t draw attention away from the topic they’re discussing. I decided to follow that tradition today.”

Kara gestures down to her dress, a bronzed orange number, relatively simple but no less spellbinding. It’s loose, but not baggy. Just snug enough to show off her curves without hiding them. It flows with each subtle contour of her body, and the fabric trickles down in a waterfall of woven splendour.  The fabric is knotted over her shoulders, giving the impression that it’s one single sheet carefully curated to embrace her.

“As you can see, my dress is aligned with my culture but also shares many similarities with clothes found here on Earth. Given that humans and Kryptonians are similar in shape and stature, the similarities are expected.” She smoothes her hands over her midsection until her fingers reach the metal adorning her waist. “This would be considered a belt on Earth, but for me it’s a declaration. It’s a family heirloom bestowed upon my family many generations ago. A waist chain given to my grandmother’s grandmother after she won a great battle against the Daxamites a very long time ago. It has been passed down through my family and is commonly worn in moments of personal triumph. Today is a triumph for me because I get to share this information with you.”

Everyone’s eyes fall to the metal around Kara’s waist. It clutches to the fabric, bunching and trapping it in place without inhibiting the stylistic flow of the dress. It’s a shimmering, shining gold, recently polished and well-kept. The thin chain is made of fine links that aren’t visible to those sitting away from the stage. Gently hanging from the chain are intriguing symbols. Lena tries to decipher them but the characters aren’t of the Kryptonese she knows. Like Earth, Krypton had many languages. Her knowledge of one doesn’t give her an understanding of them all. She makes a mental note to ask Kara to translate it later, her intrigue growing as the symbols sway with Kara’s movements.

“I have a scarf here too.” Kara holds her arm up to display the garment bound around her bicep and the way it twists down her forearm. The fabric almost resembles a shawl. “It’s a shade darker than my dress if you look closely. That’s purposeful too. We Kryptonians don’t often do things without reason. Back in the old days of Krypton, long before I was born, scarves were worn as a symbol of peace. As long as you wear a scarf, it means you seek peace. It’s a shade darker than my dress so it’s easy to see without standing out too much. If someone doesn’t wear one, it means they are openly opposing someone, usually another Kryptonian household. If it escalates to that point, they will be escorted to the council to work out their differences.”

Kara purposely leaves out the extra information about sword fights and only one person leaving the council meeting. There are a lot of kids in the audience.

“Finally, my shoes.” Kara lifts one foot and rejoices in the strange looks she gets; her feet are not adorned by any shoes Kara’s ever come across on Earth. She’s unsure whether it counts as a shoe since half of her feet are hanging out. “They are designed to be worn outside, despite what you might think.”

Kara continues holding her foot up so everyone can see the shoe. It’s made of a thick fabric, not leather because it’s too soft to be anything of that kind, but still sturdy. They’re a dull orange-red to match her outfit and only cover the top of her feet except for a thin strap that circles around to keep them on.

Thin lace-like straps are wound from the sides of the shoes up around her ankles and tied in the same bow used for tying shoelaces on Earth. “Now, I can understand why you all look so confused. You’re probably wondering why Kryptonians would wear shoes that don’t protect the bottom of the foot, right?”

She receives a collective nod from her audience, causing her smile to widen. She’s loving the experience of teaching everyone about Krypton’s culture and heritage. It’s bringing her much more peace than she ever dreamed.

“That’s because they were used for walking on sand. A large portion of crops on Krypton were grown in sand, so these were worn to prevent the sand from getting inside our shoes and the tops of our feet from getting sunburnt. Because so many crops were grown in sand, it was everywhere and well, much like here on Earth, trends catch on. We wore them for stylistic reasons too.”

A couple of people laugh at her quip, making her chuckle along with them. “Any more questions?” Several hands shoot up into the air and Kara’s heart thuds excitedly. She’s having a field day with this.

Lena watches Kara with pure amazement. The way she’s so beautifully opening up and finding joy in the knowledge that only she, as an alien from Krypton, holds is incredible. Every time Kara’s smile widens, Lena finds her own smile broadening and she has to fight to keep her hand steady while livestreaming the exhibit to L-Corp’s social media.

She got Kara’s permission beforehand, albeit a little reluctantly, but she’s glad Kara agreed to it because there are over two thousand people watching. That’s two thousand more people learning about the wonders Kara is sharing.

Careful to keep her phone in focus, Lena gives Kara a thumbs up as she answers another question, this one about Kryptonian crops following her explanation about her shoes. She’s glad Kara decided to take the leap. This is good for her and now a growing number of people will look at her as not just an alien but an actual person. Her true self.

-

Lena wobbles as she peels her heels off her feet but she’s not afraid of falling. Kara’s arm is wrapped around her waist tightly, keeping her steady even as she tosses her shoes away.

Their lips don’t separate, not even for a second, as they move through Lena’s penthouse apartment towards the bedroom. Each of their movements is a push and pull of equal force, all give and take that only serves to prove why they work so well together.

Lena gasps against the blonde’s mouth as Kara’s teeth sink softly into her bottom lip. A precise movement with far too much certainty to be accidental. A mischievous little trick that never fails to weaken Lena’s knees, something that’s always in Kara’s favour.

“You play dirty.” Lena mutters, her lips barely parting from Kara’s.

“Mmhmm.” Kara hums, unwilling to break the kiss, especially to state the obvious.

Lena reluctantly moves her hands away from Kara’s biceps. Her desperate need to get out of this damn dress and into bed is far stronger than the desire for a simple groping session. Awkwardly throwing her arm over her shoulder in an attempt to find the clasp, she continues to struggle through her refusal to relinquish her hold on Kara’s lips.

“Hold on.” Kara mumbles as they stumble into the bedroom. Her strong arms untangle from Lena’s waist as her hands entrap full hips instead. “Can I take it off?”

“My dress?” Lena pants.

Kara nods, breathless and wanting. “Please.”

“Whatever you want.” Lena rasps breathily, allowing strong hands to turn her body away, exposing her back. Broad, warm palms carefully scoop Lena’s hair up and place it over her right shoulder exposing the bunching of fabric over her left. As her fingers bury themselves into the fabric searching for the clasp, her seeking lips descend on the pale expanse of Lena’s neck.

She places a series of chaste pecks just shy of the nape of her neck, slowly tracing her skin as far as she can reach before tilting Lena’s head back to pull her into yet another smouldering kiss. The dress is unfortunately no closer to being discarded than when she started.

Lena leans back into Kara’s chest, enjoying the closeness and comfort. She’s grateful she took off her heels. With Kara wearing the Kryptonian half-shoes, the height difference would have made kissing like this awkward.

“Aren’t you meant to be undressing me?” Lena smiles against insistent lips.

“Oh yeah.” Kara breathes, still in disbelief that she gets to do this. “Stop being so distracting. You’re making me forget things.”

Lena smirks as Kara buries her face into her neck. The feeling of Kara panting against her skin in an attempt to calm herself simply from kissing makes Lena feel like a god among men. She relishes the feeling and if this is how Kara feels on a good day, she’s jealous. More than anything though, she wishes Kara only ever good days. She’s seen how the bad ones can make her crumble, if she can help prevent them, she’ll do this every day.

After a few centring breaths, Kara is back on task. She unhooks the dress and belt, sliding it off with a level of grace and tenderness that makes Lena swoon. Kara gently collects the fabric and places it on the small couch next to the window. As she places it there, she turns her back to Lena to return the favour. 

Lena earnestly tries to make things sexy, unclipping the waist chain to gently sit it atop the dress. However, it only serves to make them both laugh. Kara’s sweet giggles only make the moment more real, more tangible.  

This is their first time sleeping together and with a bit of luck and all of the effort Lena has to give, this will be her last first time with anyone. She has no doubts that Kara is going to be her last person. It’s something she knows with every fibre of her being. She can feel it in her bones.

As she slowly, carefully unclasps the dress one hook at a time, Lena presses soft kisses to the centre of Kara’s back. And as an aside, she knows she will absolutely get Kara to admit that humans one-upped Kryptonians because they invented zippers.

After a childhood of such attire, Kara steps out of the dress with ease as it loosens. Her muscle memory is a stark reminder that she will never truly forget her life before Earth. It will always be part of her. 

Lena sweetly pulls Kara’s hand and twirls her around so they’re facing each other They share a tender smile as their nearly naked fronts softly press against each other for the first time. “You’re so beautiful.” She whispers, enamoured.

“You’ve barely seen me.” Kara laughs shyly as a pink blush spreads across her cheeks.

“I don’t need to look to know.” Lena’s eyes are half-lidded as she pushes Kara backwards until her knees hit the side of the bed. Green eyes never straying from blue, Lena slowly guides her down as she kneels in front of her. Kara’s legs instinctively part, desire engulfing her body.  Witnessing the shift in Kara’s body makes it hard for her to stay on track, but she’s damn sure not letting her first time with Kara consist of cumming with soleless shoes on. She loves Kara’s culture. Truly. However, she is drawing the line at that.

Lena’s movements are both frantic and particular as she unlaces Kara’s shoes and slides them off her feet. She tosses them over to the couch with less attentiveness than the dresses. She’s impatient and there’s no time for that.

Taking full advantage of her position, she lovingly kisses her way up Kara’s muscular legs to her soft inner thighs. Each press of warm lips against even warmer skin makes Kara’s skin tingle with ever-growing desire. As soon as raven locks are within reach, Kara’s hands bury themselves, not to guide her, simply to hold. She readily relinquishes complete control to the goddess between her thighs. Willingly allowing her to explore every inch of flushed tan skin, taking her time with each caress as their combined contented sighs fill the air, the perfect background music.

Between each burning kiss, green eyes gaze up, watching as Kara’s head tilts back exposing the majestic, long neck she wants to mark as her own. She shakes those thoughts aside, her main focus on truly giving Kara the tender and loving touches she’s dreamed of for so long. Her hero deserves to be savoured rather than treated as a rushed and fumbled tryst. 

Pouty pink lips don’t linger as they finally reach the edge of delicate blue lace panties. A single, deep kiss is pressed to the damp material as Lena takes a deep breath to breathe her in and continues her exploration. She has an internal battle to continue now that she tastes the blonde’s desire on her lips. 

The blunt edges of white teeth playfully nip at a pronounced hipbone as Kara’s back arches. Sensitive, she thinks.Lena repeats the move, this time on the opposite side, and slides a trembling hand under her arched back to unclasp Kara’s bra, tossing it carelessly to the floor. 

Having Kara laid out for her, nearly naked, gasping and moaning, Lena’s sure she’s entered her greatest fantasy or an afterlife she doesn’t believe in. There’s no other explanation, no other fathomable way she’s this lucky. 

The wide palms buried in dark hair urge her to move up and away from where she’s thoroughly bathing those glorious abs with her curious tongue. Lena’s more than eager to deliver everything Kara craves. After the bravery she’s shown today, Kara can have anything she yearns for, whatever she desires.

“Move up for me, darling.” Lena urges softly, her voice raspy and throat dry from her slack-jawed awe at the sight of the ethereal goddess in her bed. Her ethereal goddess. 

Lena’s insistent hands smoothly shift underneath athletic thighs, guiding her further up the bed and shifting her weight to make it easier. Kara smiles when her head hits the pillow, instantly pulling Lena down on top of her. Her legs bracket the ravenette’s hips as her restless hands trace their way along the ridges of Lena’s spine. When shaking fingers reach the delicate material of the tasteful strapless bra, she unclips it and carelessly tosses it aside, discarded and forgotten. 

Lena makes good on her earlier desires, attaching her wanting mouth to Kara’s neck as she attempts to leave marks she knows will instantly fade. “Mmm, what I wouldn’t give to mark you up so everyone can see you’re mine while you fly around in that cape of yours. My mighty Kryptonian with hickeys for days.”

“Rao, Lena.” Kara husks out a moan, desperately attempting to turn her head and recapture those alluring lips for the thousandth time.

Lena roughly twists her fingers into silky blonde locks, snatching her head back to continue her fruitless endeavour. “Stay still.” She sternly commands.

“Wait.” Kara moans out in response, enjoying the particularly hard bite on her neck. She can’t really feel pain but the sensation of teeth pressing deliciously into her skin? That is a feeling that makes her infinitely wetter and ensures her panties will be sufficiently ruined by the time they come off, if they aren’t already.

The single word stops Lena’s movements instantly. She quickly sits up and starts moving away, but Kara’s legs tighten around her waist and prevent her retreat. “What’s wrong, my Darling?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just…there’s…I have something. Something, I, um, want?” She says, slightly bashful.

“What do you mean?” Lena asks, confused and a little out of it now that she is pulled away from her heavenly task. “Like a sex thing? A fantasy?”

“Kind of.” Kara tilts her head down, a delicate pink spreading across her cheeks as she releases Lena and climbs off the bed. She scrambles back to her dress, searching for something. “But also kind of…not.”

Lena falls onto her back onto the still-warm spot Kara’s body recently vacated, a curious and perplexed smile on her face. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

Kara shakes her head, ignoring her as her fingers dig into the discarded dress in search of a hidden pocket between the folds of the flowy material. Her face lights up as she pulls something barely bigger than her palm from its hiding place and holds it up in celebration.

“What is that?” Inquisitive green eyes implore.

“It’s a red sun emitter. I took it from the fortress when I saw how upset you were after I took you to a closet instead of a bedroom.”

Lena shrugs, her eyes shining with mirth. “You should know better than to take a lesbian to a closet.”

“That was bad.” Kara shakes her head, her amusement evident.

“Sorry.” Lena responds, still grinning at her joke. “Well, are you going to turn that thing on so I can make you mine, Kara Zor-El?”

Kara’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the eagerness in Lena’s sultry voice. “You really want to?”

“What? Make you mine? Why wouldn’t I want to?” Lena frowns, sensing Kara’s internal battle with self-doubt in a moment when Lena only wants her to feel loved, cherished, truly coveted. 

Kara sits the device on the nightstand beside Lena's unopened water bottle. She grabs it, taking a quick drink since it’s there and they will undoubtedly be here for a while. “You felt my superspeed on your wrist before. I thought that might have intrigued you to see where else you could feel those vibrations.”

Lena holds her hand out for the bottle once Kara’s finished with it and takes a generous gulp before responding. “While that is a very intriguing thought, I just want you. I’m not here for Supergirl. I’m here for Kara.”

“Do you really mean that?” Kara ducks her head as she blushes at the bold statement. It’s really cute. If there’s any reason to blush, it’s because she’s sitting in front of the woman she loves in nothing but a pair of sodden panties.

“Always.” Lena replies, pushing the device closer to Kara. “Turn it on.”

Kara presses a few buttons and in an instant, the room is coated in a soft red light, bringing Kara a sense of physical and mental peace. Lena watches how the weight gradually drops off her shoulders as the red sun radiation affects her.

“You’re so pretty.” Lena says, enamoured with everything that Kara is.

She pulls her closer, slowly nudging her ruined panties down long legs, leaving Kara bare before her. In turn, Kara grabs the waistband of her underwear, pulling them down swiftly and tossing them away, long forgotten before they even hit the floor.

“Let me prove how much I love you.” Lena pulls her fully onto the bed until Kara is kneeling over her. In a skilled move, she topples them over, positioning herself on top of the blonde. Once again, Kara finds herself flat on her back, her head nestled into the pillows. “Can I love you? Let me love you, Kara.” 

Lena leans in so close their noses brush, waiting for one single word giving her permission. “Yes.” Kara breathes, then lifts her head to get a taste of those delectable lips.

Taking the answer for all its worth, Lena devours her.

For the first time in her life, Kara is entirely free to experience not only pleasure but an unbridled love without fear. She can barely control herself, her need for more is overpowering, yet she’s not afraid to lose control, she doesn’t have to be. She gives it all up and knows in the end, everything will be as it should. She can finally let go.

Lena’s hands explore every part of her, taking extra time to palm at her breasts. Her fingers find pretty pink nipples and give them the extra attention they deserve. The kind of attention Kara’s never felt there before, given her usually high pain tolerance. There’s none of that now. It’s barely painful, more pleasurable than her time with any of the men she’s been with.

“Dear Rao, Lena…” Kara gasps into her mouth, making Lena grin so wide it’s impossible to go in for another kiss. “Lena, fuck.”

“Shh, just feel. I’ve got you, my Kara.” Lena traces her lips down her neck and back to what is becoming her favourite spot as her fingers make their way down the expanse of tan skin.

Her nails rake their way down defined abs before she turns to a softer touch, pausing just before she reaches the place she knows Kara wants her most.

“Look at me, Kara.” Lena demands, pulling away from her neck. Kara’s eyes remain closed, even as Lena’s fingers make their way between sodden folds, seeking out her clit like they’ve been there a thousand times before. Kara gasps but won’t meet her gaze. “Look at me. Please”

Upon the second round of urging and the feeling of Lena’s fingers circling her clit in and driving her insane, sparkling blue eyes finally open. Lena notes that her eyes look several shades darker, now an enchanting midnight blue, and it has taken the lead for the sexiest thing she’s ever seen. 

“Lena…fuck.” Kara gasps, her eyes locked on Lena’s now, unable to do anything other than clutch at her shoulders and let herself enjoy the ride.

Lena pushes her forehead against Kara’s, her hand diligently working away. “I love you, Kara.”

“I love you.” Kara moans out. “But for the love of Rao, get inside me before I do it myself.”

Lena’s eyes twinkle, happily doing as requested. Two fingers push inside as they maintain eye contact until Kara can’t take it anymore. Her head flies back and her eyes slam closed as Lena uses her other hand to rub her clit, still pumping her fingers at a relentless pace.

Lena reattaches her mouth to Kara’s neck, continuing her quest to leave marks she hopes will last long after the red sun emitter has been turned off. “I’ve got you, darling. My Kara.” Lena whispers against her ear.

Kara shudders beneath her, nails digging into pale shoulders as she clings to the only solid thing she can find. “Lena…”

“I love you.” She repeats once again, nailing it home with one last kiss to the latest mark before shifting down Kara’s body to do what she’s been longing to do for years. She takes Kara’s clit into her mouth. All the while, her fingers are still working away, driving her higher with every passing second. 

Kara bucks up into her mouth, her hips shifting of their own accord. Lena pins them down with an arm slung over her waist and keeps going, one goal in mind.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you,” Lena says directly into her pussy. The vibrations from her words are the final push Kara needs to let go. Her body relaxes as she comes, her bucking hips ceasing their fight against the arm holding them down as if she’s not the strongest being on the planet.

Lena guides her through it, her fingers slowing to a stop and easing out of her when aftershocks wane, when she’s truly done. She’s drenched and tired but so damn proud.

She pecks Kara’s clit one more time as she runs her hands over twitching legs, her fingers leaving a trail of wetness behind. Climbing back up to Kara’s face, she waits until her favourite blue eyes open and teasingly licks her fingers clean. 

Kara’s pretty sure Lena just fucked her into a dream state because the image she has just accosted with is so fucking sexy that there’s no way it’s real. 

“Hey, darling.” Lena cups her cheeks, kissing her delicately, her tongue parting Kara’s lips and pushing inside to giddily share the sweet taste of her desire.

“You just killed me.” Kara mumbles.

Lena giggles and shifts to cuddle into her side. She tucks her head beneath Kara’s chin, content to lie there for a moment until Kara recovers from what is undoubtedly the best orgasm of her life. “Well, that wasn’t the goal but I’ll take it.”

“What was the goal?” Kara pecks the top of her head, the feeling in her arms coming back enough that she can wrap Lena up into a well-needed cuddle.

Lena snuggles deeper into her chest. “To make love to you, Kara. I wanted to love my Kara, and I did.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“My Kara?” Lena husks, well aware of what she’s doing. 

Kara nuzzles her nose into the top of Lena’s head, breathing in the comforting scent of her coconut shampoo. “Yes.”

Lena pecks the nearest bit of skin available to her, Kara’s collarbone. She knows the answer but she’s not opposed to hearing Kara explain anyway. “Why is that?”

“Because you see me for who I am. I love how you make me feel when you look at me with so much certainty in your eyes. It’s almost like you can see into my soul and when tell me you love me and I can see how much you mean it.”

Lena grins, pushing herself back up to look into Kara’s eyes. “I love you.”

Kara’s never felt more at peace, as she replies. “I love you too.”

“That’s good.” Lena chuckles before a sly smirk finds its way onto her face. “Now, I think you’re meant to return the favour.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kara teases, her hands finding Lena’s ass and squeezing.

“Fucking positive.” Lena growls against her lips. 

[aritsukemo]

Behind Closed Curtains | Freminét

Freminét x Hydro Archon GN!reader

Warnings: None

A/N: Happy New Year's Eve! I got inspired to write this a few weeks ago when I read @freminet-writings's hcs about Freminét dating male Hydro Archon!reader but lost motivation and picked this back up so I apologize if this fic seems kinda all over the place or a little awkward! 😓

Also here's the link to that hc. I really liked it and if you like Freminet, I definitely think you should check out @freminet-writings's blog! She makes some really nice fluffy hcs/drabbles in my opinion! :D

Crystal rain pours from the sky, dripping it's gems upon anything it could touch and drenching it. It's steady flow produces a serene melody, one that never gets old no matter how many times it's replayed.

As nice as this may be to some, the diver wishes it would stop. If the fairytales hold any weight to them it means somewhere out there, amidst this clear, crystal rain, the hydro dragon weeps, most likely submerged in or surrounded by water, alone and upset. It makes him tempted to chant, to plead with the dragon not to cry and to allow the rain to pass. However, deeming his situation, that wouldn't be appropriate..

"Ah! My most devoted follower! Do tell me, what brings you here at such an hour? I know you yearned to feel the greatness and power that my presence exudes, but you do know that even the most divine must rest, yes?"

Piercing mismatched ocean gaze dressed in gaudy, expensive fabrics and topped off with a matching hat, Y/n de Fontaine sits before Freminét. Their aura of godliness surrounding them like a king's cloak along with a crown of intimidation to go with it that makes them untouchable and unapproachable to some people in the water nation.

However, despite their loud words and even louder demeanor, they sit back and wait. Silently and patiently waiting for him to speak his mind about whatever reason he has to visit them so late at night, hoping and praying that it's something small and not some unexpected disaster.

After all, playing this role has posed to be a problem when it comes to comforting others. Having to constantly talk about being above everyone else.. Most people would take your genuine attempts as you pitying them..

"..I'm sorry for bothering you. I know you're probably tired.." He begins, snapping you away from your thoughts immediately, "I just wanted to check on you."

"Hm?"

"I.. I wanted to make sure you were alright," He clarifies. His voice, although a bit shaky, a little louder and more clear to hear than before.

"Lyney mentioned that you seemed upset about something earlier. I was planning on visiting then, but I didn't want him getting suspicious.. Uhm, a- anyways, are you alright? If there's something bothering you, Y/n, you can tell me. I..don't have the strength or power to promise you that I'll do something about whatever upsets you but I can, at the very least, listen to you talk about what's troubling you.."

Now that's not what you were expecting. Or rather, something you didn't want to expect. It was a small, quick slip from character, that's all. Everyone else in the Opera House brushed it off, why couldn't that magician do the same? Now your boyfriend sits here, concerned and asking questions you can't answer truthfully.

"Hehehehe~! Well aren't you the most adorable little devotee! For you to think that something could bother me, the Hydro Archon and ruler of Fontaine, is both cute and foolishly naïve of you!" You boast before another fit of giggles take over, "Worry not, for I am just fine! Nothing in this world could possibly bother me! Not a human nor a god from another nation.. Hah! Not even Celestia!"

"I understand your concern for me. After all, I'm constantly juggling tasks no ordinary human like yourself could ever imagine dealing with. It must be challenging for me, right? Well you're dead wrong! I am the embodiment of the all powerful! Nothing is hard for me! Hahaha~!"

"..Is that really true?" Freminét asks.

"You dare doubt me?" Y/n retorts, crossing their arms and holding them against their chest.

"No," He answers immediately only to pause, eventually following up with a small, "Well, maybe a little.. But if you're really fine, I'll believe you. Have a good night, Y/n."

And with that he gets up, but to his surprise, the archon before him, the same one who just told him that literally nothing in this world could trouble them, seemed rather distressed. Even going as far as to stand up from their comfortable seat to call out to him.

"Wait, where are you going?" You force out quickly. Freminét halts and looks back. A look of genuine confusion etched on his freckled face.

"I'm going back to the House of the Hearth. I had to sneak out in order to avoid anyone catching me.. I should head back before they find out I'm not in bed. I wouldn't want them to get worried and waste their time looking for me.."

"No!" You shriek. Freminét jumps. You notice and quickly clear your throat, "I- I mean, no..~" You drawl, "You can't, I uh.. I haven't.. Our time here isn't up yet! Yeah.. You can't leave because you haven't spent your full time here yet!"

"What do you mean?"

"W- Well you came here to talk to me and might I remind you that I am a god! When you converse with me, it's tradition to stay for at least a full hour before leaving so that I may properly bless you with good faith and fortune and all of that.."

A stretch, but not entirely false. For centuries, religious families from all over the nation have scheduled meetings just to worship you and hear your words of good faith for them and their families, most of which staying for hours on end until they're forced to leave by the Gardes so technically you aren't lying to him. Twisting the truth, maybe. But definitely not lying!

An expression of skepticism crosses the driver's face for a long moment as he mulls over your words in silence. A couple seconds pass, each one making you more and more nervous. After all, there's no official rule or anything that states that he has to stay here so if he really wanted to, he could leave and you'd let him.

Despite what you may say, you can't exactly force him. Anyone else? Sure, you'd have no problem making them do as you please. But Freminét? No, no, no. You see, he's what one would call special. He has leverage over you. Leverage that no one else has. And that leverage is being your beloved partner in secret. If he were to tell or make any indication that he's uncomfortable or upset, you'd do just about anything you could to make him feel better which of course includes letting him leave this Opera House if that's what he'd truly want.

"..Hm, I guess I have no choice but to stay here until time is up.. I've been here for some time so I probably don't have much time left here anyway."

"On the contrary! It's been not but a few minutes since you've sat down so you have a lot more time here than you think." You say.

"But I've been here for almost a half an hour.."

"Archons see time differently than humans, my dear," You explain, "While as time may seem faster to you, it's much different for me. So by my calculations, you still have at least fifty minutes left with me before you can go. Leaving any sooner will count as great disrespect!"

Did that come off too strong? Were you too loud? Ooh.. You hope Freminet didn't feel too pressured by what you said. You just want—no, you need him to stay a little longer. You need to relish in the comfort that his presence brings you just a little longer.

..You want to be selfish just a little longer..please..

Freminet's lips part to speak only to immediately shut. Avoiding eye contact, he walks back over to the couch across from yours and sits down, his eyes remaining glued to the floor. Holding back a sigh, you plop back down on the cushion, staring down at your gloved hands which are clasped together in your lap.

Now you've done it. You should've just stayed quiet and let him leave! Now he's uncomfortable and you two are sitting in this awkward silence that's absolutely killing you!

How can you fix this? Should you resort to flattery? Agh, no. Freminet wouldn't like that. Should you just carry on conversation? What would you talk about.. The sea, maybe?

"Tell me, how has your little companion been faring? I noticed that you didn't bring him with you," You inquire, not ready to look up and see his face just yet and deciding to keep your gaze fixed on your hands.

Freminét looks up, a little surprised. You were interested in Pers? And here he thought you were silently judging him for carrying him around all of the time..

"He's doing fine. I left him back at the House of the Hearth to keep Thelxie company. Although..I was reluctant in doing so.."

"Thelxie? Are you referring to the Water Imp in that children's fairytale? How and why would Pers be keeping him company?"

"It's a little complicated.. I've accepted a commission to make a toy and per my commissioner's request, I've named the toy Thelxie," He explains.

"Hm, I'll admit that you've peaked my interest," You gain the courage to look back up at Freminét. Deciding not to comment on the way he immediately looks away from you upon locking eyes with you, "You've mentioned before that you don't take commissions and prefer to work at your own pace without feeling pressured. What about this commission is so different from the rest? Well, besides the fact that you're basing the toy off a children-eating water imp from a children's tale."

It takes a moment for Freminét to respond and when he finally does, he speaks in a lower tone, "I.. hm.."

"What is it?" You ask, "I know me being interested in things other than an excellent performance is hard to come by and I've been told of the pressure one feels with faced against my expectations, but you should at least try to answer my questions."

"I'm sorry," Freminét mumbles quickly, beginning to fiddle with the skin of his fingers, "But.. For the sake of her privacy, I can't really go into any further detail about this.."

And the silence returns and oh, how you've come to absolutely despise it since your relationship with the diver began. You want to say something. You even fix your lips, waiting for the words to come to you, but they don't. Leaving you looking rather dumbstruck as a result.

What is wrong with you? He's just a person. Someone without any kind of intimidating aura or power to him so why are you hesitating? Since you can't talk about the commission, change the subject. Simple and easy, right?

Don't be so scared. It's just Freminét. Yes, no reason to be nervous. It's just Freminét. It's just Freminét—

"Can you..hold me?" Wait, what are you saying? That wasn't apart of the script! What are you doing? "Please.. It doesn't have to be for too long and you may leave immediately afterwards if you'd like..I just.. I really would like it if..uhm.."

Face warmed, avoiding eye contact, the light sweating.. What? Have you really reduced yourself to some shy background character who's only purpose in the film is to stammer out stupid sentences occasionally? That's no fit for someone who's been acting for as long as you have. You need to fix this. You need to save this performance!

But what do you say? Nothing's coming to mind. All you have to say is a few simple words with your usual confident tone and then divert the conversation to something else until you can recover completely. That's it. That all you have to do so why are freezing up? Don't tell me you suddenly have stage fright or something. That would be unacceptable.

You've been silent for too long. Any longer and you won't be able to salvage this no matter what you say! So, speak. Say something! Anything—!

Cool hands finally snap you from your thoughts. One snakes around your waist and the other rest on the side of your head. You fall to the side and your stiff body collides with smooth clothing before you can react.

"Is this.. Are you..okay with this position?" His voice comes out as a small whisper, just a bit quieter than normal, "My mother.. She could always tell when I was upset. She would hold me just like this and sing in my ears until I felt better.. I- I'm not a good singer like she was, but I can tell you about some of the clockworks I've been working on lately. I'd probably bore you though.."

This definitely wasn't apart of the script. What should you do? Pull away? Chastise him for touching you so freely? You really don't want to do that. His cool embrace, the smell of the ocean on his clothing that for some reason makes you feel the opposite of the uneasy feeling you'd usually get from smelling seawater.. This feels so nice..safe almost.. Can't you just add this in or something? Surely it wouldn't be too out of character for you to indulge in this, right? Right?

At the dejecting sound of your silence, Freminét's already loose grip loosens even more to the point you barely feel his hands on you, "I'm sorry.. I've never done this so I.." He trails off as he watches you pull his arm so that it wraps around you again. The previous statement he was planning to finish having long been forgotten as he seems more focused on you and how embarrassingly warm his face has gotten than whatever he was planning to say.

You arms hesitantly cage his waist, keeping his body flush against you as you begin mumbling something incoherent under your breath. You bury your face—which is beginning to become unbearably warm itself—into his shoulder and with your mouth closer to his ear, he was finally able to hear you..

"Even archons need to be pampered occasionally, divinity or not. You should be honored to share such close proximity with me and bask in the elegance that is me so, uhm..please stay for as long as you're able.."

With a brief wave of confidence that washes over him, Freminét brings his other hand back up to your head, this time slowly running his fingers through your hair, "Oh..alright," He mumbles against your hair after a while.

Another silence comes creeping in yet it no longer carries that thick, unpleasant air of awkwardness with it. Instead, it's light, almost soothing, just like his touch. It was as if the lights behind the closed curtains had dimmed a little and although it didn't stop your performance, it made it a little more bearable.

He makes things just a little more bearable for you, even though he isn't aware of it.

Dividers were made by me, pictures used are from Pinterest, post formatting is inspired by @xxsabitoxx

[sparklecareforrealjustice]

what are some problematic elements of v4 again?

here's a list of not great things in no particular order. not adding pictures because this post is already long enough as is, but go and reread the volume and you'll see what i mean.

v4 ended on march 30 2024, and the new v5 sparklecare ref sheets started to drop march 12 2024. kittycorn is suddenly able to draw barry fat again out of nowhere after not doing so since around the start of v3. it would've been nice if squeak drew him fat in the actual volume that was releasing at the time. here's a link to an ask i got that clarifies the dates/posting schedule of the comic.

uni being annoyed by barry and making fun of him, but only three pages later she gets frustrated at cyn for making fun of barry. sure, there's a timeskip, but... consistency, much?

the scene after cuddles berating uni could have been impactful if we weren't told constantly by kittycorn that this volume doesn't have any gore or violence in it (and if you didn't hear about it from squeak, the volume's cover says it as well). i understand needing warnings for things, but it's a warning for something that... doesn't happen? all of the tension from that scene - the question of whether uni did something or not, considering the large amount blood on the floor - is made completely pointless. the comic wants to act like there's an important moment happening, but at the same time, the comic itself made the moment boring because it told you there was nothing to worry about beforehand.

on the same note of cuddles berating uni - it's not executed well. his point about it not being the same type of puppet is... correct. sure, he's being a dick to uni and uni only, but his design mirrors uni. there's clearly something going on there. it's so obviously being written as a mouthpiece for kittycorn to state squeaks feelings. which is fine, it's squeaks comic, but it isn't written well. "people don't like my art, why are they attacking me :(" because people are allowed to have opinions about the main writer and artist of the comic they like, maybe? having the comic people are reading change all of a sudden to only comfort versus the commentary on the medical system and trauma that it was originally stated to be is going to make some people upset!

carrie is a dick to mood for basically no reason. uni locks herself in her room, carrie and barry can't get it open, so mood uses her keys to open it. cool! and then mood offers to clean kneevil instead of just throwing him away (as we're shown they have to do to comfort objects in v2). so then why does carrie make a slight at mood about her job to her? mood is a nurse, isn't she? so she's not even harming the patients! even if it's carrie taking out her anger about doom to his sister instead, it's still a weird moment to do it -- right after mood did nothing but help them.

"Why don't you go back and do something with your magic, dude? That's a talent you have, you're good at it."

"...I don't wanna freak out Barry any more though, bro... my magic stresses him out..."

"...you can do something with your magic, even if it confuses me, I'll be fine. If it would make you happy, do anything you want."

barry shouldn't have to sacrifice his own comfort and put aside his own feelings in order to make uni happy. also, when being yelled at by carrie, barry just says and accepts he's a jerk instead of defending himself? because the only reason he's being a dick to uni in the first place is because uni was a dick to him first (making fun of barry after he tried apologizing for something, which has been stated in the past to be hard for him). he was made fun of after being vulnerable, of course he's going to be a jerk to uni! but no, now he's completely in the wrong and uni is perfect and good in every way and did nothing wrong just because she's sad? that's not how that works! if uni (and carrie to a lesser extent) keep riling barry up, of course he's going to snap and act like a dick! why are they surprised that annoying somebody makes them act shitty to you due to them finding you annoying? you can't be intentionally annoying someone and expect there to be no consequences, or be mad/weirded out when there are consequences!

mood is scared by kneevil with the giant butterfly despite kittycorn stating that bugs are the only thing that mood and doom eat, and that them only eating bugs is supposed to be an attempt at writing an eating disorder. it's brushed off later with mood saying "nah. it didn't scare me that bad.", despite her being visibly uncomfortable a few pages earlier.

uni using her stupid perfect vision goggles to sew the puppets in this volume instead of kittycorn having to write squeaks blind character as actually blind. uni isn't supposed to have scissors or needles in the first place due to her being a self harm risk, so sure, the staff probably wouldn't help her with making puppets. but she could ask barry or carrie! maybe even jay! or any other friends she might have, considering she's spent nine years at the hospital!

barry should not be cool with barrific existing. it's been made a point throughout the comic that he hates and is distressed by magic due to it triggering his schizophrenia -- why would he be cool with seeing a puppet based on himself that's made alive due to magic? yes, i get that it's the famous barry puppet comic joke, but barry should be upset about this, not just shocked for a single panel and then completely fine with seeing magical sentient/sapient puppets the rest of the volume. barry should be panicking and hiding from all these shenanigans, or be mad, or something other than completely fine with it.

kneevil is able to trap barrific and barry in a cage... so why hasn't uni used her magic to stop cuddles in literally any way? i talk about this in more detail here.

the entire ending. or, more specifically, right before the ending, with kneevil crying and barrific apologizing. uni/kneevil is able to treat her/his friends like shit and don't get any sort of consequences for it. i go into more depth here about it (because trust me, it is written bad).

why are the sex jokes so constant? everyone has already said there's too many sex jokes already but sometimes less really is more. there should've been less.

-mod polly 🧊

[tobythewise]

happy friday and welcome to dadwc!! how about some handers (or justhanders?) this week with the prompt: “You said you loved me last night.” “Drunk words don’t mean shit.”

happy writing!

Thank you so much for the prompt!! :D written for @dadrunkwriting I hope you enjoy!

Content: Handers, Mentions of drinking/being drunk, Mentions of Fenris and Merrill smooching, Getting Together, Sexual Content alluded to

Anders wakes slowly, cursing the pounding of his head. What the hell happened last night? 

He remembers being in Varric’s suite. He remembers cards. He vaguely remembers sitting in Varric’s lap? Wait no, that was Merrill’s lap. Or was it Hawke’s? 

Everything is fuzzy as he tries to think about the night before. Did he kiss someone? Anders is pretty sure he remembers watching two people kiss, but it doesn’t make much sense. There’s no way Merrill and Fenris locked lips. It’s more likely that Fenris would pull out Merrill’s heart than smooch her. But still, why can Anders picture it perfectly? 

How did he get so drunk? Usually between Justice and the taint he can’t get drunk so why does it feel like he’s been hit by a templar’s smite? And why does his mouth taste like cottony ass?

Anders blinks an eye open, finding himself shoved against the wall on his mattress. He groans before freezing, realizing with stark clarity that there’s a body pressing against his back.

What. The. Fuck.

If he turns around and finds Sebastian spooning him, he’s going to scream.

He searches his memories for anything that’ll tell him who the hell ended up in his bed last night but everything comes back blurry or blank. He’ll have to turn around and face whoever it is eventually but for just a moment, he revels in being close to someone again. 

It’s been so long since he’s allowed himself this type of closeness. 

Anders wants to stay here all morning, snuggled up to someone. He wants to allow himself to relax, but he can’t. He has far too much to do and he’s already starting to feel guilty for not being at the clinic already. He already had the night off yesterday, he can’t also take off all day today. 

There’s too much to do. There’s too much to plan. 

Just as Anders is working up the courage to turn around or scoot out of bed, a strong arm wraps around his waist, tugging him back against a broad chest. By Andraste, this feels so nice. It wouldn’t hurt anyone to stay just a little longer, right?

Anders looks ahead, trying to get some sort of bearings. He realizes with a start that he’s not in Varric’s suit any longer. Instead, he’s somehow found himself in Hawke’s bed. He might not be a detective but it’s not hard to figure out that the person spooning him is Hawke. 

How the fuck did he get here? 

Anders gets a vague impression of himself riding on Hawke’s back all the way up to Hightown. He didn’t really do that, did he? Oh fuck, he just barely keeps himself from groaning in embarrassment. 

This is why Justice doesn’t usually let him drink. 

Hawke’s hand finds a spot under his shirt, touching the bare skin of his belly and Anders shivers. Soft lips press against the back of his neck and Anders bites his bottom lip. Oh. That’s lovely. That’s everything he’s ever wanted. But he can’t actually have this, can he?

“Umm,” he says, clearing his throat. “Good morning?”

“A very good morning indeed,” Hawke says back, his voice somehow even deeper and gravely than usual. Oh no, he’s so hot, how the fuck is Anders supposed to push him away and get to the clinic now? “I could get used to this.”

Anders hums because he’s not sure what the hell he’s supposed to say. He’s starting to panic. He’s starting to think about how as much as he loves this, it’s going to end in disaster. 

Anders carefully flips over to his back and Hawke shifts along with him. He leans on his elbow, hovering over Anders. His face is usually so serious, but right now, the scowl is gone, replaced by a soft smile. Anders’ stomach flutters with butterflies. He feels like a young boy, before the templars tried to stomp down his spark. He feels full of possibilities, full of life. He feels free. 

“What happened last night?” Anders asks softly. “I don’t really remember a lot and the things I do are super blurry and confusing.” He stares up at Hawke for a long moment before asking, “did Merrill and Fenris kiss last night?”

Hawke chuckles. “They did but only because Varric dared them to.”

“Oh. Right. Of course. That makes perfect sense.”

Leaning down, Hawke kisses Anders cheek. Anders holds completely still, not wanting to break the moment. “Do you remember coming home with me last night?”

Anders lets out a long breath. “No.”

“Last night you kissed me.” 

“Was it a dare?” Anders asks slowly and Hawke shakes his head. His eyes are achingly fond. It makes Anders want to twist and twitch, feeling so unsure, so out of place. “Oh,” he says, not knowing what else to say. 

“You also told me you loved me.”

Fuck. There it is. It’s out in the open and sober Anders can’t take back his drunk words. Mostly because they’re true. 

“And how did you react?”

Hawke tilts his head. “Isn’t it obvious?” Instead of saying more, he leans down once more but instead of kissing his cheek, this time he kisses Anders’ lips. 

Anders freezes for a moment in complete shock but he quickly changes that. He wraps his arms around Hawke’s back and kisses him back with the same intensity that Hawke is kissing him. Hawke might not have said how he feels with words, but this kiss makes it hard for Anders to get it twisted. He feels the same. 

“Drunk words don’t mean shit,” Anders says, breathing heavily. “So let me make things clear now. I love you, Hawke.”

“That’s good to hear, Anders, because I feel the same. Now, do you want to keep talking about it, or can I find something more interesting for your mouth to be doing?”

Anders smirks and starts scooting down the bed in response.

[awkward-fink]

Do you see any capricorn in any of the two though? Does it seem too brooding for those guys?

Btw what's your sign?

Hey again, I think if you look hard enough you can find a facet of every sign in a person. People are so muhc more complicated than just a small number of traits. And yes, some of them may fit to a T, but then there are also other traits and facets and simple little things that fit a person as well. We have so many parts making us up. Most people only see snapshots of me,you,us, but never really the whole picture. With every person you ask to describe yourself, you will find other perceptions. And that is the interesting and nice thing. We are more than signs, we are ever changing, personalities, finding out more about ourselves the more we challenge ourselves, the more we walk a path we chose. But, that was not your question, sorry for the slight tangent.

Back to your question. The Capricorn is oftentimes described as liking things to go their way or no way. Loving to work alone instead of working in a group. They are uncomfortable when they have to let others take the lead, and oftentimes want to control and lead on their own. But the capricorn could be a good friend to a sad friend. Because in that instant they will put the other first and push their own desires back. But dont think that a Capricorn will share their own troubles, Nay good Sir. The solve all their issues alone. Come hell or high water.

So yeah, sure Graves and Keegan have some of those facets. Graves: - his way or no way - Will solve his issues alone - fuck it, he doesnt need any help, he can climb that ladder of success on his own, even if it kills him - accept him as you are and follow along, keep him entertained and happy, loved and you are the best partner he could hope for.

Keegan: - focused - goal oriented and focused on solving the problems along the way on his own - Scout Snipers mostly work alone, or at most in small teams, where he would not be bothered by much of others incompetence and problems - like the Capricorn, Keegan doesnt really love himself, he finds way too many faults with himself, so he needs someone that LOVES him, only him and everythign of him

Question answered?

Oh! Also, my sign is Cancer.

[walkingintheheartbreaksatellite]

(They Long To Be) Close To You {1}

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Part 1- Sunflower Vol. 6

(No mention of pandemic.This starts as Harry writes Harry's house)Y/N lived a simple life. She worked and she loved what she did. She loved her family and she was happy. She didn't think she needed anything else. But one day, on a flight to a new adventure, she meets the one person she never expected to meet.

Fic warnings: mentions of past trauma, smut later, age gap (8 years), will leave warnings every chapter.

June 2020

It started in the early morning. 6:45 am to be precise. It was a chilly Gallup morning, and the balloons were going up, as they always did that early.

Leaving the house as soon as she could, starting the 20 minute drive to work like she did every day. Arriving at work with no problem, she was immediately called into her boss, Sofia's office.

"Y/N/N, could you come in here for a sec? And close the door?"

Y/N's pov

I slowly walked into Sofia's office, closing the door behind me and sitting down.

"Did I do something again?"

The older woman chuckles and shakes her head.

"No. But I wanted to talk to you. Do you remember when Alexander said we were expanding into Europe?"

I nod my head, briefly remembering the conversation.

"Well, they want you to go with a few drivers and go to London for a couple months to start up the first branch.Your position would be my current one. The company is paying for your living space and travel, you are responsible for anything else. Interested?"

Wow. That's... not what I thought she was gonna talk to me about.

"U-um yeah I'd love to! When do I leave?"

She smiles.

"At the end of the month. You'll be in charge of everything and everyone there. I know you'll do great."

I smile and thank her.

After that, the month flies fast. I pack what I need and it's shipped to my new flat and anything else goes into my mom's garage. On the day I leave, I meet the 2 drivers coming with me, Jackson and Adam, at the airport. At 4:30am.

It's already too early and I need coffee.

"You guys ready for this?"

The two men tiredly nod and we trek to our gate after checking our bags. After about 30 minutes we begin boarding our flight. The attendant scans my boarding pass and gives me a bright smile, definitely too bright for how early it is.m

"Miss, it seems you've been upgraded to first class due to availability. Enjoy your flight!"

Adam, Jackson and myself just share a look and proceed ahead. I find my seat and holy crap it's nice. They find theirs in economy and we part ways. I take my seat and pull out my iPad, briefly starting to get some work done. The plane takes off and soon we land in LAX.

The flight is a straight trip but I guess they had to pick up more people. I decide to put my work away and watch Demon Slayer instead. I pay no mind when I see from the corner of my eye, someone take the seat next to me. Jackson comes over to me to chat for a minute at that moment as well.

"Hey Y/N/N, do you have all the addresses for where we are staying? Ryan forgot to send it to us."

"Yeah. We're all in the same place, just separate units. We'll be fine."

He nods and then briefly looks at my screen.

"Really? Demon Slayer again?"

I flip him off and he laughs before he returns to his seat. After a couple minutes, the person next to me finally speaks up.

"Is it good? What you're watching?"

I take out my headphones and turn to the stranger, about to reply, when I see his face and my mouth drops.

"I-I um yeah, it is. I like it."

He smiles and holds out his hand to me.

" I'm Harry."

I smile and shake his hand.

I'm pretty sure he could tell I was shaking.

"I-I'm Y/N. I-It's nice to meet you!"

He laughs and I swear I could just die after hearing that sound.

"Y' must know who I am."

I nod and blush.

"I love your music. Always makes me feel better and brings a smile to my face."

He smiles.

" 'M glad to hear that. I love makin' music and gettin to share it. 'T means a lot t' me that it helps so many."

I nod and we talk for a bit.

I don't think I've ever actually had this meaningful of a conversation with anyone before.

"S'what are you watchin? Looks interesting."

"Oh, that? Oh it's just an anime that I like. I've seen it multiple times. I guess I just like watching it."

I giggle and he smiles, filling my stomach with butterflies.

"Would y'mind if I watched with you?"

I nod my head and hand off an AirPod to him, moving my iPad in the middle so we could both see and I hit play.

Somehow, through the flight, we finished season one and part of Mugen Train before we finally land. And I don't think I have ever been more disappointed. We both got up but before he walked away, Harry turned to me.

"I don't usually do this, but I want to see you again. Would y'want to maybe... exchange numbers? J-just as long as you promise not t'give it out...?"

Holy shit holy shit ho-ly shit.

"Y-yeah I'd love to! And I'd never do that! That's a betray of trust and that's one thing I refuse to do to anyone!"

He smiles and takes my phone, putting his number in it.

"Text me love. I would love t' get coffee with you sometime."

I smile and nod, waving him goodbye as I wait for Jackson and Adam to meet me up front. I see them come up and Jackson is grinning and wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Shut it Miles. I don't want to hear it."

The two men laugh as we make our way out of the plane to baggage claim. I look around briefly for Harry and obviously I don't see him, causing disappointment to show on my face. I decide to pull out my phone and text him.

Y/N- Hi Harry! It's Y/N!😊

H-Couldn't wait, could you love?

Y/N-I could've! I'm just waiting at baggage claim and the two idiots I'm traveling with are teasing me!😒

H-Yeah? That's not nice. Should I come steal you away?

Y/N-Ha! As much as I would love that, I have to get the three of us settled in and dispatch them. Maybe coffee tomorrow?

H-Sounds great! I know a great place! I'll text you the address! See you tomorrow,love!

Y/N-See you tomorrow❤️

>>>————————————->

Waking up early the next morning sucked.

My alarm wakes me up at 6:30 as-per usual, but my jet lagged body did not agree with the new time zone. I had worked late, only getting to bed at about 2am, which would've been 9am my time.

I get up and take a shower, the hot water only soothing my aching bones for a short time. I dry myself off and make my way into the bedroom where my unpacked suitcases remain. I start to open them, only grabbing what I need.

I pull out a bright floral sundress, a pair of strapped sandals and the only other purse I packed.

I quickly get dressed before doing my hair and putting on just a little bit of makeup when I hear my phone ping. I look down at it to see a text from Harry and I smile.

H- Good morning, Y/N! I can't wait to see you!Meet me at the Abbey Road Cafe. I'll be there waiting! x

I blush and finish up before grabbing my bag and leaving. It's only about a 10 minute walk to the cafe and I manage to get there without getting lost. I head inside and find Harry in the back at a table. He smiles at me and stands up and he gives me a hug.

"You look beautiful! I'm feelin' a bit underdressed!"

Panic flashes in my eyes and he shakes his head with a small laugh.

"I'm only teasing! Really, you look amazing. Shall we get some coffee? Thought we might get some brekkie too before heading off."

I smile and follow him to the register.

"Order what you'd like. My treat!"

I frown and start to argue.

"Oh Harry, I couldn't ask you-."

He laughs and shakes his head once more.

"You didn't ask, I offered. Please?"

I sigh and nod and turn to the barista.

"May I please get a hazelnut espresso with oat milk? And.. a breakfast croissant?"

She nods and typed it in to her POS before turning to Harry, who smiles.

"A black coffee please. And a breakfast croissant as well."

She nods and he quickly pays and we stand off to the side to wait for our order.

"So, how was your first day in your office yesterday? Get settled in already?"

I sigh and only shrug.

"I suppose so. It's so nerve wracking. I was kind of thrown into this and while I'm grateful for the opportunity, it's a lot more responsibility than I had before."

He nods and gives me a small pat on the back.

"I'm sure you'll get the hang of it quick, yeah? Y' seem pretty resourceful, like you catch on quick."

I plush and grip my bag in embarrassment. We get our order and sit down at the back table, talking as we eat. We finish quickly and dispose of our trash before heading out.

"So you haven't gotten a chance to see any of the sights yet, right?"

I shake my head with a frown.

"I'll be here for a couple months so I'll have time but I would definitely like to see them."

He smiles and nods.

"I had a thought- I know the big sites and exciting.. But would you like to see some of the hidden gems of London?"

My face lights up and I nod enthusiastically.

"Please! I'd love to!"

He smiles and holds a hand out to me. I blush and hesitantly take it, butterflies filling my stomach as he laces out fingers together. We take the tube down to Little Venice and my mouth drops at the view.

"I-I've never seen anything so beautiful before..."

Harry smiles and leads me down a pathway.

"I thought we could take a kayak ride. Is that something you'd want to do?"

I nod and smile. We head over to the dock and board one of the kayaks, sitting close together.

He holds tight onto my hand as we travel down the river, making small talk.

>>>———————————>

1 Month

The next time I'm able to see Harry in person, he's walking through the doors of my office building with a plastic bag in hand and a smile on his face. My eyes widen as he walks through the dark doors and into my small office, shooting up from my chair in surprise.

"Harry! What are you doing here? Did you not see my text about lunch?"

He smiles and nods as he sits down in the chair in front of my desk, dropping my bag on the mahogany surface.

"I did. You said you had too much to do. So, I brought it to you."

He opens the bag and begins to place containers on my desk before pulling out a few bottles of water, and to my surprise, a bottle of Dr. Pepper.

"Harry... Where did you go? This looks incredible!"

He laughs and shakes his head. He walks away for a moment, to the break room I imagine, before coming back with some napkins.

"I didn't actually. Went to Whole Foods and Sainsbury's and bought the ingredients. Took maybe 2 hours? Hope it tastes good, haven't made sushi in quite a while."

He hands me a pair of chopsticks and opens the containers, my mouth watering at the sight.

"California Rolls? How did you know?"

He chuckles and he takes a roll and dips it into the cup of soy sauce he brought.

"You mentioned it the other day that you were craving some. Thought I might make some. There's also some fresh fruit and veg. Some veggie pot stickers too. Oh, and how could I forget-."

He reaches into the bag and pulls out a small blue package. Oreos.

"Thought you could use these too."

He smiles and hands them to me with a smile and I blush.

"Are you a mind reader? I was just thinking last night how much I wanted some to go with my glass of milk! You are seriously amazing."

I'm not sure if I see correctly or not, but his cheeks tint as if he was blushing, and he lets out a small laugh. We continue to eat and chat until we finish. With a light kiss to my cheek, he leaves with plans to go to dinner later in the week.

4 Months

"Harry, really. Where are we going? It's 11:30! It's almost midnight!"

He laughs as he pulls me along the dark streets of London until he stops in front of a building.

"What is-."

I raise an eyebrow at him and he just shakes his head before opening the door and pulling me inside. He heads down a hallway and reaches a door, pushing it open before pulling me inside.

"A studio? Why are we here?"

He pulls me over to the grand piano in the corner and sits me down on the bench, before sitting down next to me.

"I just finished a song for the new album. I haven't played it for anyone outside of the band.. I wanted to play you some of it."

He turns to look at me and tears swell in my eyes.

"Really? You want to play it for me. I'd love to hear it."

He smiles and scooches up close to me before turning back to the piano. He positions his hands and begins to softly play and sing.

Holdin' me back

Gravity's holdin' me back

I want you to hold out the palm of your hand

Why don't we leave it at that?

Nothin' to say

When everything gets in the way

Seems you cannot be replaced

And I'm the one who will stay, oh

In this world, it's just us

You know it's not the same as it was

In this world, it's just us

You know it's not the same as it was

As it was, as it was

You know it's not the same

He removes his fingers from the keyboard and turns his head back to me, only for a look of fear to appear on his face.

"Why are you crying? Are you okay? Do you-."

I sniffle and shake my head before wiping away my tears with the sleeves of my cardigan.

"I-I'm fine. That was just-. That was amazing Harry. You really are so talented. That wasn't even the whole song and you already have me pulled in. It's gonna be an amazing album. Album of the year, I bet!"

He blushes and wraps an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side.

"That's definitely too soon to think about. But thank you love, I appreciate you saying so. Now, how about a late night snack? Then I'll take you home?"

I giggle and nod before standing up. I hold my hand out to Harry and he takes it with a smile. We walk out of the studio hand in hand in the dead of night, only our laughs echoing the streets.

7 Months

"A movie? You want to go to the cinema?"

I nod with a big smile.

"I haven't been since I left home! I thought it would be fun! Please!"

I pout and he sighs before giving me a small smile and nods. I squeal and jump into his arms, laughing as he catches me.

"What movie did you have in mind?"

I loop my arm through his as we begin to walk towards the nearest theater and I think for a minute.

"I was thinking like an action movie. Marvel if possible. Ooo! Black Widow! Black Widow is in theaters!"

Harry laughs and wraps and arm around my waist as we continue to walk.

"I guess that's the one. You really that into Marvel?"

I give him a look of shock and almost disgust.

"Sir! How many tattoos do I have?"

"16..."

"And how many of them are Marvel tattoos?"

"4..."

I give him a nod and he bursts out laughing, squeezing my waist as he pulls me along.

"You're too much Y/N M/N, you know that?"

I laugh and nod as we walk into the theater.

"Ohhh I'm so excited! I'm still sad over Natasha so if this doesn't save my fragile heart, I don't know what will."

He laughs and we walk in, taking our seats.

>>>——————————>

"Okay, I'll be honest, that was an amazing movie."

I leap in excitement, struggling to contain all my energy as Harry laughs at my child-like nature.

"Amazing?! More like the best movie of the year! Kick ass cast! Florence was 100% the comedic relief I needed! But ooo that scene at the end! She's going after Clint! That's crazy!"

He laughs and pulls me to his side as we walk through the night, laughing and enjoying our time together.

9 Months

It's been a couple months since I met Harry. And everyday with him is amazing. We both work quite a bit but still manage to see each other a couple times a week. Earlier in the week, I received a phone call from one of the corporate bosses.

I've been instructed to go home soon. With the hiring of more staff, I'm not needed and they want me back in my old position... And now I have to tell Harry.

I'm waiting for him at our usual spot and I see him come up to me. I stand up and meet him halfway, walking into his warm embrace.

"Missed you love."

"Missed you too."

He caresses my cheek and kisses my forehead. I can only force a small smile.

"You okay, love? You look a bit down."

"Y-yeah I'm fine. But we do need to talk."

He looks at me with concern as I lead him to our table to sit down.

"So you know how I've been telling you how well things have been going with setting up the new branch?"

He nods his head in acknowledgment.

"Well... it's done. There's new staffing and multiple drivers... so they want me back home."

We sit in silence for just a minute.

"When... When do you have to leave?"

"In 3 days...Look Harry... I don't want this to be the end of whatever this is between us. I like you. And these past couple months? You've made me feel so alive. I've never felt this way before...I know this sounds corny but I don't want this to be the end if you don't..."

He pauses for a minute before he bursts out laughing, leaving me in shock and confusion.

"How do you always seem to take the words out of my mouth?"

He pauses for another minute before continuing.

" Of course I still want to see you. I love spending time with you, Y/N. We'll work it out somehow."

He takes me out of my chair and hugs me tight. He pets my head and I start crying.

"Shhh. It's okay love. M'not letting you go that easily. You're stuck with me."

I begin to argue with him, tears falling down my cheeks as my vision blurs.

"But I'm gonna be in New Mexico! And you're still trying to write your album!"

He gives me a soft smile and shakes his head.

"You're forgetting about something though."

I just look at him in complete and utter confusion.

Those are the facts though... how could I be forgetting something?

"How often have you FaceTimed your mum just this week?"

"I don't know- probably like a good couple dozen- ohhhh! Duh!"

He laughs and hugs me tighter, resting his head against mine.

"I know it's not ideal, but we'll make it work. And I'll come visit you of course. Can't go long without my muse, now can I? I'll never get the album finished without you."

I blush and bury my head in his chest, causing him to chuckle.

"I'm know you would do an amazing job finishing it. You don't need me for inspiration Mr. 'I like to write songs about sex'."

He chuckles and lifts my head up, forcing me to look him in the eyes.

"Of course I do. I've written 2 songs already. Because of you. So I definitely need you. Stop thinking so little of yourself."

I nod, tearing up a little.

"Will you come see me off?"

He smiles and lifts me up.

"You really think I wouldn't? I'd never give up the chance to see you, even if it is goodbye."

He kisses my nose, making me smile.

"Let's go get you packed up, yeah?"

He grabs my bag and leaves a tip for the waiter.

"Wait, you're gonna help me pack?"

"Course I am. Gotta get my time with you while I have you. And besides, we need to finish Edens Zero, don't we?"

I chuckle and nod my head.

As excited as I am to go home to my family and my regular day to day life, I hate that I have to do it without Harry there with me. These past couple months have been amazing and he makes everything more fulfilling.

Heathrow Airport

I woke up early this morning and I'm not ready to leave. Harry came to see me off though. I take his hand and pull him off to the side.

"Something wrong love?"

I take a long deep breath.

"No... I just. I want to tell you something. I want to get it off my plate before I leave... Harry... I love you. And I know this is probably way too soon to say but- I just wanted to tell you. And I totally understand if you-."

Before I can finish, he grabs my face and kisses me. I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of his lips against mine. After a minute or so, he slowly lets go and he lets out a light chuckle.

"Sometimes... I swear... you talk so much that no one can get a word in."

I blush and bury my face in his chest until he pulls me out and places his finger under my chin, lifting my head up.

"I love you, Y/N. I mean it."

I start to tear up a little.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Dunno, because I am an angel."

He batts his eyes at me and flashes that smile that I love so much.

"Oh hush. I try to be cheesy and you decide to be cheeky."

He chuckles and hugs me, not letting don't let go until they call for boarding for my flight home. He kisses me once more and I let the tears fall down my face.

As soon as we let go, he wipes my tears with his thumb and smiles at me.

"Promise to text me when you're home?"

I nod my head and give him one last hug before I let go, letting the tears fall.

2 Weeks Later

Things have gone back to normal for the most part. I'm back to doing my old job. It hasn't been too bad. But I miss Harry like crazy. We FaceTime at least 3 times a day and talk on the phone almost every second.

He's been singing me to sleep recently and honestly I always wake up refreshed in the morning because of it.

Right now, I'm sitting at my desk, entering orders, when I see a name flash across my phone screen. I smile and answer.

Y/N- Well hello there, handsome!

H-Hi love! What are you doing later this week?

Y/N -Oh, you know, the usual. Working and going to my sisters this weekend, at least I think so. What are you up to?

H-Oh, you know, just planning a trip to go see my favorite girl this weekend.

My eyes go wide.

Y/N-REALLY?!

He laughs.

H-Really... Mum and Gemma wanna meet you. So... they were going to come with... if that's okay...

Y/N-I'd love to meet them! But isn't it too soon? I mean we haven't even made anything official...

H- That's what I said! But according to Gem, I refuse to shut up about you so they are insisting on meeting you.

I let out a little chuckle.

Y/N- I guess if I'm meeting them, you should meet my mom and my sisters..

H-We'll be in Thursday. I'm booking hotels for mum, Gem and Jeff.

Y/N-I'm sorry... are you expecting to stay with me?

H- I mean-

I let out a loud snort.

Y/N- I'm kidding. Of course you can stay with me. But it's only one bed so you can sleep with me or on the couch. I'll ask for Friday off and see if Sofia will approve it.

H-Don't worry bout that. We'll probably sleep Friday and explore later.

Y/N-Text me your flight details and I'll come get you Thursday after I get off. I can't wait to see you!

H- Me too love. I love you

Y/N-Love you too Harry.

We hang up and I get back to work, never letting the smile leave my face for the rest of the day.

>>>——————————->

What did you guys think? Let me know!

WC 4290

Tag List

@be-with-me-so-happily @swiftmendeshoran

@babyiamperfectforyou @freedomfireflies

@kaminokatiee @harrysmimi

@violetsandfluff @fruitmans @fruitmansrecs @strwbrrydaydreams

@rafaaoli @novalunosising

[the-fiction-witch]

Hot Chocolate

Media TMR AU

Character Newt

Couple Newt X Reader

Rating Sweet

Fictional Advent Day Eight

so maybe for Newt, you can make an AU story where y/n is a waitress at a restaurant and Newt comes with another girl who’s a mean girl on a date and y/n serves them but the girl that Newt is on the date with is really rude to y/n and is calling her rude names, and it gets to the point where newt gets so upset with the mean girl and yells at her and newt hangs with y/n instead. It’s just a little idea I thought was good! Take your time and happy holidays!

I rushed around like a bumble bee busy with the bustle of the malt shop, listening to the Christmas music playing gently mixed with people cluttering cutlery and crockery as well as the bell often tolling on the door as people came and went, the snow fluttering sweetly down the sky. 

“Thank you so much happy holidays” a lady smiled as she and her family left the table

“Happy holidays” I smiled going to clear their little booth by the window tidying up and adding the five-dollar tip to my little Christmas-themed gingerbread house moneybox, as I started on some more coffee for those at the counter

“Hey uhh, I had a little favour to ask?’ a voice spoke up and I looked and saw a guy who had just come in, in some nice shoes that had a dusting of snow on them, some brown suit pants, a little orange t-shirt and a white button-down slipping off his large coat with a fluffy inside as well as a dark red scarf

“You can ask, I don't know what the answer will be but you can ask”

He chuckled a little “I know it's a big ask but could I take a booth?”

“Booths are normally reserved for parties of four or more you have three friends coming?”

“No, I uhh I have a first date. I know it goes against the rules but you think you could let it slide?”

“No problem, take number seven it has a lovely view over the bridge”

“Thank you”

“Your welcome, and hey if they don't look like their picture just order a blue raspberry pancake and I'll get you out of there”

“Thanks, hopefully, I won't need to” he laughed heading over to the booth setting his stuff down and fixing himself up in the reflective side of the napkin dispenser, I made a note about him and went on with my shift luckily the rush was over and things were dying down, I often passed the guy and offered him coffee or tea but he always politely declined and only got more and more nervous as time went on.

Until she arrived.

I saw her walking down the street before she even got into the shop as she pointed her nose high making it the peak of her face, sunglasses that took up almost all of her face, and nails long enough to pick a lock within some little ugg style boots, a pair of tight leggings, a long sleeve white turtle neck with a beige fluffy vest she came in and put her glasses on her head.

“Hi,” She sighed offering her hand to him, “Newt?”

“Hi, you must be Olivia.” he smiled giving her hand a kiss,

“Yeah.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, You’re just as beautiful as Minho said.” he smiled as they sat together, I gave them a while dealing with some other things before I finally went over

“Hi, how are you two doing today?”

“Uhh excuse me, can we get a male waiter.” She snapped at me

“Uhh we don’t have any male waiters”

“Fine. Whatever” She sighed

“Okay… What can I get started for you, Coffee? Tea? Hot Chocolate?”

“Eehhh just water. In a clean glass.” She snapped

“Sure” I nodded

“I’ll have a hot chocolate,” He smiled

“No problem, whipped cream?”

“Absolutely,”

“Candy cane?”

“Yeah that sounds nice”

“Excellent, I’ll be back with those feel to look at the menu for food” I smiled

“Okay we get it bye,” she said angrily

So I just headed off and got her water and his hot chocolate and I took them over “Here we are” I smiled setting them down “You ready to order?”

“Uhh ohh my god! Will you stop jumping down our throats? How on earth would anyone be ready to order already it’s been two seconds”

“It’s been five minutes miss.”

“Are you talking back to me you chubby slop girl?”

“That is incredibly rude. She was just asking” He spoke up

“I’m not taking advice from someone who still eats sugar. That thing is like six suggested servings yeah no thank you.” She snapped

“I’ll give you another minute” I nodded heading away for a moment but before I even got to the counter she clicked her fingers at me

“Hey! Hey! Slop girl! Aren’t you going to take my order?”

“Yes Miss” I nodded as I headed back over

“Do you have anything that actually observes serving sizes?”

“Our plates are all designed for one person, unless they are specifically in the sharing or extra large section of the menu”

“So no. Fine. I will take a lobster and a salad”

“Miss… we don’t have that on the menu”

“I know I’m not stupid. But I want lobster.”

“We don’t have lobster here miss… we mostly just make pancakes, fries, burgers that sort of thing”

“Uhhhh clean my table again slop girl there must be carbs all over the table” she complained

“That is really rude, your are being insanely disrespectful. You choose for us to come here ” he said

“Maybe I’d be nicer if this slop girl could actually use her brain!” she yelled “Give me a side salad”

“One side salad” I sighed “You sir?”

“I won’t be ordering anything I’m sorry,” he said “I cannot go through with this I’m sorry”

“Aren't you gonna pay for my food?”

“No.”

“Ughhh!” She whined grabbing her stuff and marching out in a huff

“I am so so sorry”

“It’s okay, trust me you hear worse in this job” I answered “Could I get you a slice of cranberry pie? Ice cream on the side?”

“Yeah that would be really nice” he smiled

After a while, he came and moved to the counter and we chatted as I worked for a good while doing my best to cheer him up even giving him a free hot chocolate, and after a while he happily paid

“Thanks so much for everything”

“It's no trouble, Happy holidays”

“Happy holidays” he smiled before he headed out, I gathered up his stuff, and found out he had left a hundred-dollar tip and a note ‘I’m so sorry about her, and thank you so much for cheering me up. If you like I’d love to take you out for dinner one day your not working X Newt’ and then his number I chuckled a little and put it in my pocket so I could text him when I get off my shift. 

[noodyl-blasstal]

Hide and go Splat

It's @taznovembercelebration day 10 and the card I drew was "hide". Welcome to the world of hide and seek paintball!

Read below or on Ao3, you can find yesterday's prompt here.

-

"One, two, three, four..."

Taako runs, sprints even, hurdles some of the bales of hay and swings himself up into the tree he scoped out on the way here. Flip wizard! Unstoppable! Apart from...

"Ow!" Someone very solid and very in Taako's tree says as he slams into them.

An arm reaches out and snakes round his waist, pulling them tight together at the hip.

"You're in Taako's tree!" Taako says, not making any effort at all to move - he's absolutely not planning to get any paint on him today and the branch is big, but not large enough for them to leave any space between them. Also Taako can't lie, the sensation of a strong arm wrapped around his waist, a yielding hip pressed to his, not bad. Definitely not bad. If this guy would just take off his visor Taako could assess whether this was a first date or not. Chances look good based on the bottom of his face. Lup did say Taako should try being more creative about how he met guys, she’ll be so pleased.

"I'd say, arguably, you're in my tree, considering I was here first." Interesting, the tree thief has an accent.

It doesn't necessarily sound like an on purpose accent, Taako's fairly sure that it's a bad impression of Cockney, but it's interesting nonetheless. He's from the green team, although all his gear is definitely the darkest shade he could find. A few brighter stripes on his forearms and the green t-shirt are the only indicators that he's not just some tree stealing renegade and is actually meant to be here. Taako searches the memory banks, honestly, he was paying more attention to finding the best hiding spot than who else was playing, but he definitely remembered giving one member of the green team a lingering once over instead of paying complete attention to the safety talk. This seemed like the same dude.

"So, what's a guy like you doing in a nice place like this?"

The man snorts. "I thought that was supposed to be a complimentary line?"

"You laughed, didn't you?"

"I thought maybe you were trying to charm me into letting my guard down so you could get me?"

"The only thing Taako wants to hit is the target. Then he can go home and get comfy."

The man inclines his head like he's thinking about the prospect of getting comfy, hopefully with Taako. Lup's gonna be so proud if he manages to pick up a guy in a tree.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." He does sound regretful.

"Why not?" Taako's happy to chat, honestly, if he keeps a member of another team distracted it's still playing the game.

"The rules, Taako? The point of us being here today?"

Oh, he was a rules guy. Bad, terrible actually. Taako couldn't date a rules guy.

Taako sighs, loud and obnoxious (no one's nearby, he checked first). "What if you just didn't stop me though?"

"Why?"

"Cha'boy would really like to hit the target. Think of how nice the cheers would be. Ta-ko! Ta-ko! Ta-ko!" He chant whispers, throwing his arms up in imaginary triumph.

"And why would I want them chanting your name instead of mine?" Taako can't see the top of his face through his visor, but he can feel the questioning eyebrow that's definitely raised.

"You'd have to tell me what it is so I know how it'd sound chanted. Ta-ko is hard to beat."

"It's Kravitz."

"Kra-vitz! Kra-vitz! Kra-vitz!" Taako does a test whisper cheer. "Fine, yours is pretty good too."

"Thank you!" Kravitz sounds pleased that Taako's acknowledged the chant-ability of his name. "So you can see why I can't let you do it?" Kravitz asks. He even sounds a little sorry.

"Counterpoint..." Taako is nothing if not great at making airtight, logically sound arguments. "... Blue team sucks."

Taako's got him here, he can tell.

"Mmhm." Kravitz says, keeping his cards close to his chest.

"Greens can't beat blues, but the mighty reds can." He's never above using people's hatred of the blues for his own personal gain.

"You can?" There's the hopeful note. Taako wills Kravitz to let the hatred flow through him.

"Uh huh. If you let cha'boy tag the target we're sitting pretty. I can guarantee my teammates are out there taking people down as we speak and they always go blue first." He wasn’t lying, Lup and Barry worked together and rarely missed; Magnus was terrifyingly quiet for someone of his stature; and Davenport was a master of drawing enemy fire to the space they could have sworn he'd been a few seconds before - he’d find their position based on the trajectory of their shots. Edward and Lydia and whatever 'friends' they'd hired that week could only get so far with their money. Well... there was all the umpires they'd bribed, but Taako could barely think about that without acidy injustice rage boiling in his stomach and he was all out of Tums.

"I should just hit you." Kravitz sounds like he's trying to convince himself.

"Mutually assured destruction, handsome, Taako's dexterous, cha’boy is speedy." Taako's pretty sure Kravitz was the one whose ass he was more concerned with than safety earlier, It seems prudent to alert him to Taako's relevant skillset.

"Oh does he now?" There's a playful challenge in Kravitz's tone, Taako can work with this.

"You can find out exactly how flexible Taako is if you want."

Judging by the way Kravitz's hand tightens on Taako's waist, he might just want.

“What if we both hit the target?”

“If you think you’ve got the skills to get it from here, stud.” Taako winks, even though Kravitz probably can’t see it through his visor.

“From here? You can’t.”

“Watch me.” Taako grabs his slingshot and a paintball in a smooth motion.

“You weren’t lying about being quick.”

“I’d take my time with you.”

“What?” Kravitz sounds like he’s worried he misunderstood, but his arm hasn’t moved, so Taako assumes it’s not revulsion.

“Nothing!” Maybe that was too much, he needs to reign it back in, Kravitz might not realise this definitely is a date yet. “So, about my superb target powers?”

“How about we make a deal?” Kravitz seems to be wiggling slightly, like when Taako gets to talk about why all caramel is salted. Taako doesn’t know if he’s supposed to be able to tell or not, but the excitement is infectious.

“Tell me more, tell me more.”

“If you hit the target from here, I won’t tag you.”

“If I don’t?”

“I’ll tag you… and get your number?”

“You can have that either way, handsome.” Taako says,hopes it’s smooth enough to counteract the way he lurches across Kravitz, winds up, and sends the paintball spinning. He’s out of Kravitz’s lap by the time the cheer goes up a few moments later.

“Green takes the target!” The announcer’s voice is projected across the pitch. “The blue spotter is searching, but to no avail. He has 5 seconds of danger time left, 4, 3, 2, 1. The green player is clear!”

“Fuck.” Mutters Kravitz.

“Have you got a pen?”

“What?”

“I thought you wanted Taako’s digits?” Maybe Taako misunderstood. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Can’t you just put it in my phone?” Kravitz wiggles for a second and grabs his phone from his pocket.

“Krav! What if someone’s tracking you?” Taako’s aghast.

“What if I see some cool birds I need to take a photo of? Or want to get a video of Lydia and Edward yelling at each other when they both get hit?”

“All good points.” Taako taps dutifully, grabs a terrifying mask-heavy selfie, and saves his contact to Kravitz’s phone before handing it back and grabbing his own phone.

“Hey! What if someone’s tracking you? You’ve got yours as well!”

“What if there’s a handsome guy whose number I need to get?”

Kravitz makes a pleased sound. “You make a great point, here.” Kravitz taps in his details then hands the phone back.

“So we’ve got at least another 10 minutes before the run back starts.”

“Seems prudent to stay here, wouldn’t you say?” Kravitz keeps his voice light, casual.

“However shall we pass the time?” Taako places his hand lightly on Kravitz’s thigh.

“I’m sure you have some wonderful ideas.” Kravitz’s voice is warm and rumbly and…

“You forgot your accent.”

“What?”

“You were Cockney like 10 minutes ago.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” Oooh he’s fun to tease.

Taako takes his hand back. “Okay, well then, I guess…”

“That’s my hide and seek paintball accent.” Interrupts him.

“Run that by me one more time?” Taako’s going to marry this idiot. Right here in this tree.

“You know. An accent, a persona, to help with the…” Kravitz waves his hand in the general direction of the field and the occasional screams reaching them.

“Nope, cha’boy hasn’t got a clue what you’re on about. You’re perfect.”

“Fuck.” Kravitz hisses.

Taako’s about to ask what’s going on, but before he can he’s in Kravitz’s lap. This was moving slightly faster than the trajectory he’d assumed for them because of the tree and the need to hide and the witnesses and all, but he was absolutely on board with it. Toot toot, Taako and Kravitz are pulling out of the station. He places his arms round Kravitz’s neck. “Hey.”

Kravitz presses a finger to Taako’s lips. “Sssh.”

Less talking, more action, Taako can get behind that.

But now Kravitz is pointing, and, yes, there’s Lydia prowling around below them. Fucking Lydia. Of course she ruins this for him. A shot will give away their position, but if they’re careful… They exchange a look, Kravitz clearly doing the same maths in his head. Where Lydia is Edward isn’t usually far behind and that means two targets to take down. Good job there’s two of them.

“Oh Taako darling.” Lydia coos below them, focusing mistakenly on the pile of hay bales to their right. “I know it has to be you that tagged the target. Come out, come out wherever you are!”

Kravitz grimaces, matching Taako’s own. She inspires it in people. Taako wants to get her. Badly. But they have to get eyes on Edward first.

Taako shifts onto his feet and stands as quietly as possible. Kravitz looks up at him, clearly alarmed, and offers a hand for balance. It isn’t necessary really, Taako can do a tightrope blindfolded, a slack line backwards in the dark, run up a tree branch any day any time, but it’s nice. There’s a strong, welcoming hand, someone watching out for him, a handsome face looking up at him, someone that wants to help him do a paintball murder. That’s romance probably.

It takes them what feels like an age to get sights on Edward. It’s probably more like seconds of frantic scanning. He’s slotted between some hay bales further back than Taako would have expected, Lydia must be bait. Edward’s staring intently, poised and ready to fire. What he’s not ready for, is Taako giving Kravitz a nod, a mime, and them both dropping into place. Kravitz is fast loading, not as fast as Taako, natch, but he can appreciate talent.

Taako does the count down silently, uses his fingers to mark time.

Lydia screams when the paintball smashes across her chest plate, smearing her face too. Kravitz must have put spin on it somehow, beautiful clever man. Edward just looks disappointed when the red paint blooms across his front.

“Now that that’s taken care of?” Taako shifts back to the broadest section of the bough. “We should probably get back to, the, you know... ” He indicates the spot they’d settled in earlier.

Kravitz sits back down. “It’s important no one sees us.” Kravitz pulls Taako closer until he’s straddling his legs. “Better go back to the most streamlined position. We wouldn’t want to get spotted.”

Taako eases himself into Kravitz’s lap. “Safety first.”

Kravitz smiles, truly smiles, wide and goofy and toothy.

“I believe you were holding on, you know, to be extra safe.” Kravitz guides Taako’s arms back round his neck, drawing Taako in closer. “I’d better hold on too.” Kravitz grabs Taako’s thighs, pulls him forward firmly. He could get used to this, the man handling. Kravitz is strong, sure, but soft in the best places too, Taako can’t wait to explore every inch of him.

Taako leans in slowly, giving Kravitz time to move away if he’s misread the situation. Kravitz moves forward instead, eager and handsome and…

"MAGNUS!" Screams Magnus, as he drops down from a higher branch, hanging by his knees.

"No! Wait!" Taako puts his hand out too late. Magnus has already loosed his paintball, it flies straight for Kravitz's head.

"Fuck." Says Kravitz as it thwacks him square on the helmet. "Great shot." There’s a moment’s pause then he eyes Taako. "Now... Where were we?"

"Absolutely not, no, you're on your way to a date with a shower. You can meet Taako in the winner’s circle after."

Kravitz pouts. “But I'll miss you.”

"Well maybe you should have thought of that before you got paint all over you."

"I was a little distracted, if you remember." Kravitz has an edge in his voice, a hint of petulance, ooooh he cannot fail at anything.

"Not really, you'll have to remind me."

"Well I was somewhere around here." Kravitz catches on quickly, lifts a hand to cup Taako's face, stroke a thumb across his cheek bone. It's disgustingly tender. He hates how much he loves it.

Magnus rocks gently in the breeze. "Er, Taako? Sorry to interrupt, but I think I'm stuck."

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - twenty-two | he got an audition or something

“Hey, Jongho,” Maddox said as Jongho walked into the studio.

You kept your head down, looking at what you were doing, not wanting to make eye contact with Yunho as he walked in.

“No Yunho today?”

You looked up. Helping Jongho into the room was a new person. A woman, and taller than he was.

“No, he got an audition or something so it’s just me and my manager.”

“Hello everyone,” she said.

“T/n this is my manager since I signed with Wonderland Entertainment when I was eighteen: Yu June.”

You stood and bowed, shaking her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Yu.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. Jongho has told me good things about your involvement in the album.”

“Oh-- really?” You looked between her and Jongho.

“I’d been updating her on what was happening in the studio.” He smiled.

June nodded. “I was glad to hear of the ideas you have for the album. I’m glad Hongjoong hired a producer who can take care of our boy.”

“Oh-- I’m not a producer.”

“Yet.” Hongjoong said as he set up the computer for recording.

You couldn’t help but let your eyebrows tick up in surprise. Jongho turned to you with something between surprise and a matter-of-fact ‘I told you so’ expression. Maddox was smiling wildly at you.

“Oh-- uh--” You couldn’t help it. This was the first you heard of this.

“We can talk about it at a later date, t/n.”

“Oh, sure. Yeah.” You sat down.

You felt like you could break out into laughter, tears, and wild screaming at any moment. You tightened your fingers into fists as you looked down at the floor, trying to stay calm. You couldn’t believe it, he really wanted you to become a producer? But why? And how? And where? And who? And what? What? What? 

‘For real?’ You wanted to ask, but you had to record now. 

You wished he hadn’t dropped it on you like that. You didn’t know him very well, but it seemed sort of out of character for him? Though… it did make sense in a way: he was letting you be much more involved in Jongho’s album than a bassist who also transcribed music probably had any right to be. You had thought it was maybe a little odd, but you were having so much fun learning about the production process that you didn’t think about it. He did have you learn all those terms, and he did say ‘this is your first lesson’ about making the music go with the choreo better… but you didn’t think he was really serious.

Turns out, he was doing way more thinking about it than you had.

So you were really going to become a producer, huh? Wow. That was so fucking cool. A really real producer. You could imagine it all; working with singers and musicians late into the night as you all worked hard to produce an incredible album. Helping people find their sound, helping them find the direction they want to take their music and helping them get there. The excitement of an album dropping. Seeing the artists on music shows.

You remembered that you were meant to be working on Jongho’s album and looked up.

Maddox was smiling wildly at you and you waved him away. 

Jongho walked into the booth to begin recording and June helped him with his crutches.

It was a little weird seeing her there instead of Yunho. Were you less tense without Yunho around? Perhaps not. You certainly weren’t happy that he had been appearing at your job for the past couple weeks, but it hadn’t been disruptive to your work. He was very well-behaved, up until the moment he approached you in the hall. Though, you were sure that his reaction to your telling him you still hated him probably meant he would have gone back to being well-behaved if June hadn’t come back.

You were glad the situation seemed to have resolved itself. At least you didn’t have to see him anymore.

Instead you could worry about other things, like Hongjoong asking you to be a producer? Why hadn’t he brought it up before? And did he make you learn all those terms because they were really looking for a producer but didn’t want to show their hand so soon? Maybe this announcement was another test. You stared at the back of Hongjoong’s head, trying to figure out what was happening inside it.

“Do you like Korean barbecue?” Maddox asked.

“Huh?”

“We were thinking of maybe celebrating the completion of the album with barbecue. You in?”

“Oh, uh, when are we going?”

“We’re not sure yet.”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’d be up to go.”

Maddox nodded.

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luvvvx • iamthehotdemon • 

[what-the-hell-is-going-on-here]

use this to talk about soft vore?

i wanna know how it can be soft or comforting pls tell me

oh my god my first anon

yes! yes i will! im actually kinda in the mood for soft comforting stuff rn so this is perfect

btw warning you now this is gonna be incredibly self indulgent (hope its not too much lol)

also i wrote this w/ g/t in mind

AAAHHH i love soft preds… maybe the prey’s having a rough day and just wants to chill, so the pred picks them up in a hand, peppering their small body with kisses, humming at their taste.. they just wanna make their prey happy! they get all squirmy, asking to be eaten so they can rest, so the pred slips them into their mouth, softly biting and tasting them, pushing them oh so softly around with their tongue, just savoring them and hoping the soft pressure calms the prey down. maybe they sit there for a bit, soaking up the nice feelings and the warmth of their pred’s mouth, comforting in ways they can't express. they lay on the pred’s soft tongue, feeling drool pile up around them, signaling the need to swallow.

hesitantly but sure the pred carefully presses the prey up to the top of their mouth, swallowing their drool that tastes like their friend, then the prey themselves.. the prey just melts at the touch, slowly making it down the pred’s throat, pressing into their body like a reassuring, full-body hug.. they savor every feeling, trying not to squirm and risk it being too much for their partner, finally slipping into the stomach. there they stretch out(hearing the pred hum in delight at the feeling), getting comfy and curling up against the so, so soft stomach walls like a cat. the prey feels saliva sticking to their clothes and hair, something that would usually be gross if it wasn't a reminder of how much they are cared for, how much they are loved, to be as close to someone as they ever could be. the prey lets a smile creep onto their features, hearing the pred mumble something about how perfect they taste, how wonderful they feel inside, how ethereal their movements feel, how fucking amazing and loved they are.. the prey digs a hand into the folds of the pred’s stomach, rubbing back in a non-verbal way of saying yes, of thank you, of i love you. maybe the pred purrs- they really needed this too, didn't they? the pred’s stomach churns around them softly, another feeling reminiscent of a hug that just makes the prey’s face go all warm. they hear their friend’s heart beat softly in time with their own, the comforting sound of their breaths luring them to a drowsy, half asleep state, the temperature reminding them of fresh blankets just out of the dryer or a nice warm bath. the soft gurgles around them only comfort them instead of worry them, knowing that their pred would never ever dream of hurting them, knowing they only want them to feel better- which has definitely been accomplished by now. the prey drifts off to the sound of quiet praise and the feeling of belly rubs from the inside, too tired to keep doing it themself, feeling so goddamn loved.

maybe later the prey gets a mini bath in the sink once they're out, pred washing them off with soap, making sure everything’s out of their hair and clothes, wrapping them up in a warm washcloth and holding them in their hand or on the pred’s chest, staring down at the prey with adoration obvious in their features. they can tell everything they did helped both parties, already planning when they could both do it again some time.

AAAHHH SORRY I GOT REALLY SAPPY THERE… platonic and romantic vore just gets me… im a sucker for soft shit like this, its what got me into vore in the first place lol- the soft touches and nonverbal reassurance is just so sweet to me, its such a show of how much ppl care abt one another, to keep someone safe INSIDE OF THEM, WHERE THEY’RE AS CLOSE AS THEY CAN BE TO EACH OTHER??? HOW IS THAT NOT ADORABLE.

PEOPLE PLS FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR MORE I LOVE WRITING/TALKING ABOUT VORE!!!!

[charlesandmartine]

Sunday 20th October 2024

Sunday, a day of rest, we had the usual exercise, then after breakfast it was to assume a prone position by the hotel swimming pool. The sensible Australians arranged themselves under whatever cover or shade that could easily be acquired, merely the glint of their Ray Bans giving their location away. Meanwhile, anyone with a Made in England tag is 6 foot out on a sunbed benefitting from the mid morning sun head to foot, smothered in factor 50 whilst remarking how hot it is today. Martine pursued aqua cooling by way of breaststroke and front crawl, whilst I looked on amazed that she didn't actually sink as I know I would. Had I joined her, an international rescue operation of epic proportions would have been invoked with all manner of lifesaving equipment deployed. Better off remaining on the sunbed I felt. Swimming never was something I found coming naturally to me. Mind you, I don't think I have ever come across a more uncomfortable sunbed. It was the sort of device maybe designed in the middle ages as respite between turns on the rack.

Now, even whilst in a dazed state being conveyed here from the airport in our Uber, the driver found it necessary to express condolences that we had pretty much missed the opportunity of a lifetime to visit their local market. He brightened when he found out we would be here on Sunday and confidentially informed us that we were in luck because they repeated the whole thing today! Our cup clearly ranneth over and after researching the whole thing in a professional way discovered a number 4 bus would take us there in time for a 4 o'clock kick off. After all, this is billed as an event in the Darwinian calendar that really should not be missed!

The bus turned up on time at the terminus and a smaller than expected crowd got on considering this was such a big event in the calendar. Alighting at the field the market is held in, the waft of food was all pervasive and from all cultures, Chinese, Thai, Shri-lanka, Greek, Indian, Italian and the list goes on. We were not hungry when we arrived, but pretty soon the olfactory senses persuaded us that maybe there was room for a little morsel of something, and we had been strongly advised to try Darwin Laksa; a soup and noodle concoction with different meats and seafood with a SE Asia origin. We opted for the option, 'the lot'. Something there for everyone. We took our little bowl over to a table area where a local band called Dad's Band was setting up. Repertoire, Blues. They kicked off at 5pm and were quite OK. Various acts were set to follow such as the Darwin kids dance groups followed by more music. It was a very jolly evening but we needed to leave early because the last bus was to go by 7.30pm. It was quite nice to see indigenous folk there, either taking part in some way, or participating with their little sticks that they kind of drum with. I'm not sure I like it especially when they point their little stick at you. The area the market is held is a rather sensitive site for the Larrakia peoples, the Mindil Beach, since inadvertently during some building work, they managed to JCB up a pile of Aborigine type bones! Ancestor warning bells, down tools and build a nice new memorial instead! Phew I think we got away with that one.

Number 4 turned up on queue and off we went back to Darwin sharing the experience with a large group of Aborigines who were quite loud, very tribal and speaking their own language. (no spears) Before being made an honorary member of the tribe we alighted and checked into the 4 Pines Pub again for the end of Happy Hour, and a Croc Pale Ale.

Now Darwin is definitely not representative of Australia as a whole. It is something of a microcosm with a very strange cocktail of people. For instance a fairly normal looking pub across the road from 4 Pines had a music night on the go. Little folk singer with acoustic guitar playing nice little folky type songs. Then 3 metres away from him is the town nutter desperately trying to dance to a folk set which was extremely distracting and if the guitarist hadn't kept his dignity, the dancer could quite easily have found the lost chord over his hippy type head. It has to be said, charmingly, there are some odd people here and I wouldn't rule out there being some with 6 fingers but we still very much like the place and we feel very privileged to have spent some time in this very diverse but young place.

[fallenup]

[Long post!]

...Willow felt like he was going to explode. He had too many thoughts being kept at the back of his head. He needed to go back to the library now. Maybe that boy would be there early? ... He had to. Willow couldn't take it all anymore. He needed a distraction. It would be too much of a hassle to go through the front door. His parents would surely question where he was going, and when he said the library, they would ask why he was suddenly interested in the library so much and not bringing back any books and then he'll have to say that he's seeing the boy and then they'll ask what he's like and then they might think he's bad and then all I'll have are fake friends and- ... Window. Go out the window. They won't notice. He opened the window and climbed out, sprinting towards the library that's about a minute away. He got some stares, but he didn't mind. The thoughts threatened to enter into his headspace, but he managed to keep them locked away, going into the library with a now familiar ring. The worker was still on their phone. ... I guess they always do that. Where's the boy. Willow sees him at the same table he sat at when he first came here, with a Rubik's Cube of some sorts? ... What's "GAN"??? That doesn't matter. He needed interaction. Talk to him. Talk to him talk to him TALK TO HIM- "... Hello." Willow said weirdly. Oh my arc, you fucked it up from the first word. Nice going, dumbass. "Hi. You're early." The boy said, not caring that much. "Oh. Yeah. I just... Was too excited." Willow says in reply, his distress slowly leaking through. He decides to sit next to him. "... Can you solve that...?" "Yeah. My PB is 18 seconds. Not that fast." he says casually. "I could do lots of things better. F2L Isn't that good, and I'm not very efficient on some PLL cases..." He pauses. "... You don't know that stuff. Sorry." "It's fine, It's fine, don't worry. Please. Please don't." Willow said, with more distress. "What happened?" The boy asked Willow. "W-What do you mean??" Willow says, surprised. "Your voice is lower than last time. You're more antsy. More paranoid. You can talk to me. I'm a good listener." The boy expected Willow to spill all of his problems out of his mouth, but... He ended up breaking down and bursting into tears instead. Oh no. What does he do. He hasn't encountered anything like this. Fuck. "M-My life is a f-fucking mess.... I-I don't k-know what to do a-anymore... F-Fuck, I... I-I just..." Willow shakily let out, instinctually holding on to the strange boy. His smooth skin feels... Nice... "Nothing you can't fix. Just... Do what makes you happy. Unless it's illegal. Then don't do it. You'll get arrested." The boy says, being oddly defensive of his chest... "I-I know... I k-know... It's just I-I'm not a-allowed to be even a bit f-feminine anymore and i-it it felt like I-I was taking a step i-in the right direction but n-now I-I'm back to being a-a stupid regular b-boy with a deep v-voice and hairy legs and a-arms and a-a-and..." Willow stops, trying to breathe for a second. "... Do you want to watch me do solves? Better than worrying about things. Easier too." The boy proposes. Willow thinks, still holding on to him with tears in his eyes. "Y-yeah... Yeah, y-yeah, that's, t-that sounds good..." "Alright." He says, pulling his laptop out of his backpack. He opens it and pulls up 'cstimer.net' in his browser. "... My name is Leo by the way. I forgot to tell you that." "I f-forgot to ask..." Willow says. "People forget lots of things. It's fine." Leo assures. Willow didn't like admitting to himself his life isn't good. He wanted to just forget everything and think things were ok. But they weren't, and he found that hard to swallow... But... Maybe with Leo, her life would be ok. Leo starts to scramble.