#sure they got their flaws and some might end up finessing you but they at least warn you upfront

[underwaterspiderbird]

i disagree wholeheartedly. rest in piss to sol, jecki, yord, and every other pearl-clutching narcissist jedi out there. its not a genocide when it's a system of evangelical psychopaths who point unnatural at anything they don't understand. sure palpatine was an absolute nutcase and who wiped his ass with the legacy of the actually sensible sith & maligned the sith to the surface galaxy, but that doesn't erase the truth of the matter that the jedi, as a system, are an evangelical cult who starve for systemic supremacy, rip children away from their families under the illusion of choice (see anyone that the jedi want who tell them no if u dont believe me), tell them the very things that make them who they are are bad and wrong, "unnatural and corrupting", then they throw them away like trash when their worldview & view of the force doesn't align with theirs. just like the catholics.

the jedi had it fucking coming. i don't care about the younglings or jedha or palpatine's empire, that dude's actions are his own. from an indigenous sith who has never agreed with the jedi, never thought they were the good guys they said they are, and always saw all of the evangelical evil of the world in the jedi, fuck the jedi. even the younglings. they were so brainwashed & disconnected from existence at that point that they might as well have been considered dead before Anakin skewered them & clones swiss-cheesed them. i'm not sorry, fuck the jedi. rest in piss.

I think one of the things I've found most frustrating about sections of Star Wars fandom since being more active in it (rather than just being a Star Wars appreciator) is that some folks are constantly looking for a reason that the Jedi "caused" or worse "deserved" what was coming to them with Order 66. It's hard and horrible to watch the Jedi get slaughtered in Revenge of the Sith, so people search for a reason that it was, in some sense, justified. But that's not what genocide is. No group can "bring a genocide on themselves." It doesn't matter WHAT mistakes they may make. The whole point of the Clone Wars all the way down to destroying Jedha City in Rogue One was to wipe out not only the Jedi themselves, but the memory of them, so that the empire can fully take root.

And this is why the end of the Acolyte finale felt so so so bad to me. It was meant to be, or so I believed, a show about how the Sith were getting closer to their goal of getting rid of the Jedi as we close in on the century before The Phantom Menace. I sat there, I waited for the narrative intention to set in, and that narrative intention surprised me by saying "ah yes, well, some Jedi made mistakes and it was fine for one to be murdered HORRIBLY as a result, and the subsequent cover up of all of it is just the Jedi wanting to avoid senate knowledge of what really happened because the Jedi are too powerful." It's like, nevermind that the SENATE is the power here, and the Jedi long-ago agreed to help them out but are being shouldered with more and more and more and they may have the Force but they are still only people (which the High Republic books show REALLY well). It's like, nevermind that Star Wars is about redemption and always trying to be a better person and learning from our mistakes! It wasn't a situation, when Osha kills Sol in a nasty and cruel way, where you see a person going corrupt and know the narrative behind it is like "oh shit, this is a bad turn for them!" It felt like the narrative was saying she was justified (at least to me) and that's just. Sad? Bleak? The end of the finale felt to me like "hey, some Jedi made some mistakes while trying their best once, and that's why these Sith get to do whatever and that's why the Jedi walked right into their own demise."

When the scene with the senator happened, I thought, oh, interesting, we're going to see the prejudice against Force-sensitives here that leads to the senate clapping in the face of genocide. That leads to the safehouse in Kenobi where we see Force-sensitives carving messages of hope into the wall while they're being hunted down and killed. But that's ... not what happened. In the end, it felt like the narrative said, "yep that guy is right, the Jedi are a power-grabbing cult." It just felt bad, man. I thought this was going to be a story about the lineage leading up to Plagueis and Palpatine and I thought, interesting, I'd love to see that, but it just ended up being this messy thing with clunky writing and a bunch of loose ends that teased me with Jedi characters and then said "eh, these guys deserved it."

We got to see a kyber crystal bleeding for the first time in live action, and I can't even be excited about it! Did we ever really find out how Osha and Mae were created and what weird stuff the witches were up to? Nope! Just woah disappointing as far as even learning new stuff about how the dark side corrupts the Force, and that was one thing I was interested in as the show started to go downhill for me in later episodes.

(RIP Sol, Jecki, and Yord. You deserved better than that, and Vernestra, so did you)

[automaticenemycrusade]

Joyride: Prologue

“Nord!”

The onyx vulpera awoke with a gasp, soft as it could be, as he jerked his head up from the shabby, little table. Oh, had he fallen asleep at his desk again? No doubt he’d be dying the day he actually decided to sleep in his own bed. He glanced down to regard the mess he’d made, only to notice the goopy, black ink that had splattered across both himself and the parchment he was supposedly scrawling on. Fur and ink, what an exciting mixture. Dunes know he’d be having the time of his life washing that out.

He barely had time to make himself presentable before another vulpera emerged from underneath the flap of his tent, the one who had called his name. To neither his nor anyone’s surprise, it was his relative, a cousin whose only mission in life was to bother the former with his “brilliant” ideas. Nord acknowledged his presence as best he could, before swiping a rag off the table and wiping at his sullied pelt. It wasn’t coming out.

“Nord, hey,” The swagger in his step, the giddiness in his features, the passion brimming at his cheeks, warped and stretched to either side by that smile. That damn smile. Nord knew those motions all too well. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you, ‘cause I think,” Here it comes. “And stop me if you’ve heard this one before,” Despite the urge to, Nord smiled encouragingly, as if to say ‘do go on,’ to which his counterpart was happy to oblige. “‘cause I think I got it!”

And there it was. The poor fox had to resist rolling his eyes into the back of his head and groaning, which he did with ease. He had the practice after all. “Yeah?” He replied, lifting his brow. “And what is the ingenious plan you’ve cooked up this time, Jole?” Wry smirk in hand--or on face, technically speaking--he raised a single digit as he continued, “Are we convincing the guards to personally escort us to the oasis by pretending to be, what was it?” He tapped his chin in sarcastic thought, before lighting up his face in a similarly sarcastic realization. “The Dune Duke?”

The other vulpera, Jole, was taken aback by an eyeroll of his own, as well as a derisive series of hardy har har’s. “Before you mock me,” He began. “Just hear me out,” Nord complied, allowing him to continue, “Hot take: we get a wagon, a few alpacas, and we take everyone who wants it on the adventure of their lives.” That showman’s finesse of his really shined through in moments like this. Nord supposed one had to build some sort of charismatic skill set when they came up with bizarre schemes as often as Jole did, which is to say, he was irritably used to this. Nonetheless, he went on, “Day-long trip, from here to there, let the kits see the sights and get a taste of that authentic caravaneer life. Hundred-percent educational experience, no foul play.” He bent forward in a semi-bow, spreading his arms to either side with a final, “Whaddya think?”

“Well, first off, I think you’re insane.” He responded, oddly calm in tone for how witty his remark had been. They shared a chuckle, though Nord was quick to recover. “So, what? Are we bribing some,” He vaguely waved his hand. “Famous caravaneer to be our guide? For celebrity appeal?” Jole shook his head, though he did gesture for Nord to keep guessing. He was, no doubt, delightfully entertained. Nord obeyed. “Will the alpacas be incredibly rare? One has extravagant colors, maybe? Hot pink?”

Jole produced a drawn-out, “Noooooope.” in reply. He was having fun with this, and Nord couldn’t help but roll back his eyes at that. For what felt like the first time, he was actually intrigued by the prospect, even if it was probably extraordinarily dangerous. Of course, he’d had this mentality about Jole’s ingenuity dozens of times before, but there was always one tiny complication or flaw in the grand scheme that ruined it for him. Suffice to say, he wasn’t making any special exceptions nor holding his breath for this one.

The onyx vulpera finally relented, leaning back onto his palms with a shrug--his palms still stained by the ink, obviously. “What is it then?” He said, boggled, despite having never guessed it on the first try before. “What’s the outside help?”

Jole grinned that cocky grin of his and arched forward, “There is none,” He lifted up his hands to dramatically waggle his fingers. “‘cause we do it ourselves. You and me,”

“You and I.” Nord corrected.

“You and I. Not even! Mostly me.” The ash-furred vulpera winked--sweet sand demons, he hated those--before straightening out his posture, because you just know all that bending and curving he did for his showy presentations was taking its toll on his spine. Nord didn’t think it possible for his eyes to go any further into the back of his head, yet here he was, on the verge of an eyeball backflip. Although, Jole’s performances aside, the idea itself was interest-piquing. It’s the kind of thing he would have enjoyed as a kit. It’s the kind of thing he could still enjoy now. But, as with all of Jole’s ploys, they were too selfish to be fully realized. His cousin was never one to scheme if he didn’t think it benefitted him too.

“Let me guess,” Nord’s eyes glinted with familiarity, as he went to meet his counterpart’s gaze with knitted brows. “First people you invite are the vixens you talked up at the story circle,” He lifted a finger just as Jole went to interject. “The same story circle where you regaled the tale of The Dune Duke and his Dusty Damsel.” He, too, grinned a malicious grin, snark and snide practically enchanting his demeanor in that moment. This is what made listening to Jole’s rambling so very worth it. Still, he couldn’t help but feign shame and aim a friendly punch at his shoulder, tacking on a, “I’m kidding.”

“You laugh now, but just you wait until I get things in full gear.” Jole assured, and as per any accusation that involved him and women, he felt pressed to address it. “And for one, those ladies were delighted to have me; for two, that story was great,” And in an attempt to mimic his cousin, he raised a finger to Nord’s face before he could interrupt. “And you can’t deny it, ‘cause everyone else thought it was great too!”

“I dunno.” The curve of Nord’s lip twirled into a sly smirk. “I personally thought the ending could’ve been a little better. Plus, aren’t stories at the story circle supposed to be true?”

“It was true!” He retorted, though he quickly remedied his behavior once faced with a skeptical look from Nord. He folded his arms and paused. “Some of it, anyway- Look, that’s not the point. Point is, we got things to do!”

“Not people, I hope.”

“Doh,” And at last, Nord squeezed an eyeroll out of him, so much so that he couldn’t help but grin. “Alright, inkface,” Wait, was it on his face? He went to uncomfortably feel at it as Jole continued, “--Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice that little detail when I rolled in here. Tell you what, you go wash up and I’ll do all the hard work, ‘cause I’m a generous and hard-working friend.”

Nord’s own laughter knocked the wind out of him. He replied, “You haven’t worked a day in your life.” just as Jole vanished back outside, to which he could hear a guffaw radiate from beyond his tent flap.

“It’s about persistence, not work ethic!”

The onyx vulpera scoffed, obviously, and although he wished to push the topic further, he decided against it. He turned back to that filthy desk of his, glancing at it with disdain, the disdain one got when they told themselves to do a chore. As if washing himself up wouldn’t take long enough! Note to Nord: sleep in your damn bed.

And then it donned on him, and he promptly dove his head past the tent flap in search of his cousin, which, praise be, there he stood, hands shoved in his pouch-pockets and eyes gliding from vixen to vixen. He’d slap himself in the face if he wasn’t preoccupied with another thought. “Jole!” He called out, to which the oblivious ashfur perked up an ear and spun on his heels to look back at Nord. “How do you plan on dealing with the older vulpera? That might be uncomfortable.”

“That’s the best part!” He shouted back.

“No supervision!”

♦

Nord had spent far too many minutes scrubbing away at his paw, far too many hours. Had it even been an hour? He hadn’t cared to check how high the sun rose above the horizon, and who knows when he originally woke up. At this point, he could barely remember the night before at all. Though, knowing him, it might be better to say, “the early morning before.” What was it he was biding all that time with? Funnily enough, that was exactly the problem. It was the very fact he had nothing to bide his time with. With each sunrise came the same routine, the same chores, the same hunts, the same necessities for survival. Had he grown so stale that he was finally giving into Jole’s senseless thrillseeking ways? Was there a part of him that wished that one of his cousin’s ploys would actually come to pass?

He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of though, was that this damn ink, wasn’t coming out. Even with the addition of lukewarm water, it insisted on sticking to him. What was that ink made out of anyway? Tar? He needed a break, he needed a getaway, he needed something to sweep him off his mundane feet and wrap him in the exoticity of life. He needed an adventure. But, every time they got close, Jole lost motivation, or found something better to do, or abandoned the project all together out of spite.

Maybe this time, it’d be different. Just maybe.

Not that he was getting his hopes up, of course. Last thing he needed was to put effort into something and have it fail miserably, but hey, he was a hopeful guy. His birthright was that of faith he could misplace at his leisure, not that he was in any hurry. If anything, he was in more of a hurry to get this stain off. How much force did he have to apply? There’s only so much pressure a fifteen-year-old kid can exude!

“Nord!”

Fuck it. Just wrap it, wrap it up, no one will know. And that’s just what he did. He tore a strip of leather off of his own trousers and laced it around the still (somehow) ink-soaked hand. You burned yourself. That’s the story we’re going with. At last, he ushered himself outside, seeing none other than Jole standing… about a yard or two away from him. A cough was exchanged between the two as he moved an inch or two closer. His flair for the dramatic was a gamble as to whether or not it would be properly executed.

“So!” The ashfur began, clicking his tongue.

Nord, meanwhile, calculated all the excuses that were about to leave his cousin’s mouth. They were out of wagons. They want to keep the alpacas out of the deep desert for a few months. I had a wagon, but the wheel snapped when I tried moving it. I had an alpaca, but they fell ill just today. Everyone I asked said no. I kinda had a change of heart. I got an even better idea! I thought you hated the idea, so I got discouraged. I was sure you meant-

“We’re back in business, baby!”

[babes-and-baddies]

Best to worse lov member to lose your virginity to lmao

how exactly do you define ‘best’, my dude? is it superior skill, emotional intimacy and mutual trust, a secure relationship going forward, a lack of commitments and hangups? because depending on your needs, there are reasons any one of the LOV could be the best to give up your v-card to,,, and i, a humble thirsty hoe, shall explain all of those reasons by explaining just what it’d be like to have your first time with them

that said, here’s my Hot Take (under cut because i went overboard lmao…, NSFW, obvi):

Kurogiri:     He’s an absolute gentleman, and an experienced one at that. Kurogiri can take you apart with ease, touch you just so, and still make you relax against him as he takes the lead and shows just how good sex can get. He’s the type to take his time, noticing your tics and turn-ons and paying mind to your newly-discovered limits before you even know what it is you like. Kurogiri would make sure you feel secure, satiated; even after you cum, he’ll take care to check in with a glass of warped-over water to ensure you’re feeling alright. Plus, if you make it a thing, well. Once he knows your weaknesses, what you need, he’d be more than happy to push some boundaries and experiment with some of your more…. questionable of fantasies. He may be a gentleman, but he’s still a rather alternative-minded one; such is the fate for those who become villains. Lucky you ;)

Twice:     While he may not seem the type to be so high on the list at first, you’ve got to admit that Jin’s got a lot going for him here. Loyal, caring, humorous, and extremely considerate, Twice is a perfect choice for those who want something fun, tender, safe and passionate for their first time. If he sees you as a friend or teammate, Jin is more than willing to go the extra mile to take things over-the-top and give you a night you’ll never want to forget, even if it it’s far from the high-finesse perfection you could get elsewhere. Jin also has another talent invaluable for your first time: he knows how to make you laugh and let go. Carefree humour meets unashamed affection, and whenever something awkward or embarrassing happens it can be brushed off without concern. Do you make a weird and unattractive noise, or end up falling off the bed in a tangle of limbs? Jin would only respond with a light heart, taking in all your ‘flaws’ as something natural and fun, showing that it’s okay to not hang up on the ‘imperfections’ that simply make your time together real.  You have nothing to worry about, since sex is weird, right? Especially your first time. And guess what, Jin’s a bit weird too! Why should that make them any less good?To be with Jin is intimate but stress-free, passionate but light-hearted, and you can let go knowing that your comfort and feelings come first. The only downside is that he might think your trust is so precious, your time together so special, that he might just fall in love with you. But with a sweetheart like Jin, that’s more an extra benefit than anything. How could you make love to him and not feel the same in return? 

Magne:    As someone who calls upon self-respect and a deep loyalty to her teammates, if you find yourself by Magne’s side you can trust her to treat you with all the care you deserve. She would do anything for her friends, for her loved ones, and if you give your virginity to her it’s sure to be given the weight it deserves. After all, she knows full well the impact of self-autonomy and choosing how to use and inhabit your own body. With you supporting and trusting her own self, Magne knows the importance of returning the favour.And if there’s romance in the equation? All the better! But either way, Magne looks out for her own. While she may be more vanilla, she’s someone who puts your needs and boundaries first without expecting anything extra of you. And if what you need is a safe, comfortable first time with someone you can trust, she’s got you covered. 

Compress:     Sako is who you go to when you want skill, with a side of respectful detachment. There’s less intimacy, less care, but when you want to fuck the first time just to see what it’s like and get it over with already, or to finally get into it without having to worry about all the messy details, Sako can take care of it. So there’s less intimacy, sure, but fuck does he make up for it by knowing how to use what he’s got. He’s the type to take his time, to tease, to make a show of it for both your and his viewing pleasure, and he’s got the swift hands and cunning tongue to make taking you apart only the first act. He can ease you into things, but soon enough you might find yourself wanting even more of what he has to offer. 

Spinner:    While Spinner may not seem like someone to have your first time with, consider: shy + disciplined + beefy = very enthusiastic and eager-to-please good time. I’ll be the first to admit he may not have much in the way of experience, but Shuichi more than makes up for it in dedication. If you’re willing to not only fuck him, but share something so special as your first time, then he’s going to make extra sure to take care of you in every way possible. He’s here to prove a point - a point both to you and to himself- and show that you made the right choice in spending your first time with him. He’s strong enough to try things out, eager enough to listen to direction; one setback, though, may come in the form of his cluelessness and own desire to make it good for himself. But don’t worry, if you make it clear how special this moment is, he’s back on track in a second.Just make sure to give him ample time to prepare himself, okay? A day’s warning could make all the difference- because if he’s not expecting anything, his inexperience combined with his excitement could lead to a few problems in the ‘actually making you feel good’ department. 

Giran:     This old man’s a total sleeze, but he’s a loyal one; Giran stays true to his own and gives as good as he gets, so with something special like your first time, he’ll take care of you real good. After all, your virginity is pretty ‘special’, no? This here is someone who knows how to properly appreciate it.With lots of experience up his sleeve, Giran knows just how to make you feel real good, how to show you the ropes and get the most out of both your and his pleasure. Just remember it’s nothing personal. He’s still going to respect you after it all, but don’t expect any touchy-feely. You both had fun, both got something valuable out of it, and isn’t that what matters?Bonus: if you fuck him reaaal good, there might just be some future opportunities regarding… business negotiations. You wouldn’t happen to be looking for a sugar daddy by any chance, would you? Because there might be one on the market.

Tomura:     On the chance he has no sexual or romantic interest in you, he’d not bother to accept your offer in the first place and instead recommend you find someone else to take care of you. If he is somehow interested, then, well.The best reason to give your virginity to Tomura is also the worst reason to do so: he thinks stealing your first time is hot as fuck. Virginity kinks are a thing, and Tomura is a sure example. There’s something alluring about taking something so precious, tainting something so innocent; naively offer yourself to him and Tomura wants to ruin you, have you all to himself and hold on to everything he can. Sure, doing this may lead to some issues of possessiveness  and eventual unhealthy relationship dynamics on his part, but it can lead to a damn good fuck if you play your cards right and call on his desire to be the only one to please you.  And if you like him, offering your virginity is a great way to make- and keep- him interested. On the downside, your comfort and security are more conditional on how he feels and expect things to play out. When he truly cares- sees you as a friend, a love interest- then everything is great as long as you continue to give him the love and trust shown in offering such a precious part of yourself; he’d be sure to repay that trust in taking care of you. But if you try to distance yourself afterwards, try to say your time together was casual or without intimacy, he wouldn’t take too kindly to it. Tomura chose to accept you like this, and that means you’re his. And he took care of you, right? It’s only fair you take care of him in return, with your love and loyalty. It’s really in your best interest from that point on to accept that and trust him to keep you.

Dabi:     Dabi’s who you’d want to go to if you don’t care much about this whole ‘virginity’ thing, if you want something rough, something good, but something without any serious commitment coming out of it. An awkward but kinky virgin who wants to get fucked up? Curious about sex but uncaring about boundaries and uninterested in romance? Dabi’s your guy. He can blow your mind with beautiful degradation and thoughtful apathy, and continue to act as if nothing has changed the next morning aside from the occasional innuendo at your expense. He doesn’t care much about the ‘first time’ thing unless he somehow caught the feelings; if that’s the case than you better hope you got your relationship figured out before sex entered the equation, otherwise it could be the difference between a tender fuck and the blatant disregard of any connection as he ignores his feelings. Sure, if you’re friends or comrades he might be more gentle out of respect, and of course giving him your virginity when you’re together would be sweet, but otherwise? Well, you didn’t come to him for sweet or gentle. Dabi’s ready to show just how good it can feel to act bad, the pleasure found in pain, and you better hope you’re prepared for it. 

Toga:      Maybe,,,, maybe Toga isn’t the best idea here. For starters, maybe wait a few years, yeah? Or pick someone a little closer to your own age? Unless you’re a kid, but even then,,, there are still probably some better options out there. Toga’s idea of ’love’ isn’t something that would turn out well for you, and her version of ‘friendship’ isn’t much better if Uraraka is any example. The only people who seem safe are her teammates, her found family. If you’re in the LOV, someone precious enough to her to not want dead, you can probably have sex with her and make it out alive; the whole romance aspect of ‘sharing your first time with her’ wont make it easy, but at least you’d have a chance. Basically: please love yourself. Find someone who wouldn’t want to kill you. And please, maybe stick to fellow adults, yeah?

                 BONUS: 

   10.   Moonfish: Best choice for fans of vore, and fans of vore ONLY

[ericsonclan]

Aquatic Adventures

Summary: Louis and Clementine go on a double date with Violet and Prisha to the waterpark.

Read on A03:

“C’mon, Violet, quit dragging your feet!” Louis called as he raced towards the entrance.

Violet rolled her eyes, adjusting her swimsuit strap under her shirt. She hoped Prisha was OK with the fact that she’d chickened out and bought a tankini to wear. Clementine had helped her pick it out online and had assured her that Prisha would love it, but Violet still wasn’t sure. She wasn’t comfortable showing more than a tankini offered yet. Her ribcage and hipbones always stuck out weird in swimsuits. Hopefully the tankini covered up those flaws.

Prisha seemed excited for the day as she walked beside her, sunhat on and beach bag in tow. They’d both been rather surprised when Louis and Clementine asked them out on a double date, especially considering both couples had only been officially dating for a month or so. But they soon got excited by the idea and agreed to join in. It had been forever since either of them had been to a water park.

“Louis, wait up! I’ve got the tickets!” Clementine called from behind them.

Louis spun around and ran back to her, quickly taking everything she was carrying into his own arms. “Sorry babe, lost track of myself for a minute there. I’m just so excited!”

Clementine smiled at his ear to ear grin. “No worries. And you don’t have to carry everything. I can take half,”

“Nu-uh. As a good boyfriend it’s my job to carry everything to and from the date,”

Violet scoffed. “Where’d you read that? Dating for Dummies?”

Louis stuck his tongue out at her in retort.

“There it is!” Prisha exclaimed, pointing toward the top of a slide that could be seen in the distance. “The Mother Lode: 80 feet of dead drop glory,” Screams could be heard in the distance as swimmers started their watery descent.

“Can’t wait,” Violet said with a grin.

Louis looked nervous. “I don’t know… I think Clem and I may be sticking to the smaller slides. The wave pool sounds nice too,”

“Actually, I think I’ll try out the Mother Lode too,” Clementine giggled as she saw Louis’ panicked reaction. “Don’t worry. That doesn’t mean you have to go,”

Violet laughed. “Oh, but it does! How can he prove himself worthy of you if he can’t face a simple water slide?”

Louis looked guiltily at the ground.

Clementine leaned forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek. “Do what makes you happy, OK? She whispered.

Louis’ eye lit up and his fingers entwined with hers. “OK,”

---

Aqua Extravaganza Water Park and Resort was an awesome place. They’d decided to go on a weekday to avoid the crowds, but even with lower turnout there were still plenty of kids running around screaming and having the time of their lives. The four of them quickly followed suit. They started out with some classics: The Spinnerator, Dive Bomb and the Big Splash. Then Prisha grabbed Violet’s hand and they ran off together toward the Mother Lode. Louis encouraged Clementine to tag along, opting to use the time to buy snacks for the group.

 After the girls had experienced their terrifying drop (which Prisha and Violet wanted to do again, but the line had gotten super long), they met up with Louis, downed their Icees and Pretzels and headed over to the Lazy River, grabbing a giant raft that would fit all four of them and plopping in to follow the River’s flow. They laughed amongst themselves as they regaled each other with stories from work. Aasim and Ruby were a key topic of interest as it was clear they were going to be the next couple to get together. It was only a question of when.

“I kid you not,” Louis said, leaning forward on the raft, “The other day I saw them talking about different types of lettuce and Aasim was absolutely entranced. He sure as hell didn’t take in a word she was saying though!”

Prisha chuckled. “The poor man is whipped. I hope he gets the guts up soon to tell her how he feels,”

“How did you and Vi get together?” Clementine asked. “Who made the first move?”

“I would say Violet did,”

“Really?” Violet spluttered. “But you were the first to ask me out!”

“True, but I wouldn’t have if not for the brilliance that was you chugging that entire jar of maraschino cherries in ten seconds flat. I was flirting with tying the cherry stem, sure, but that display of feral vitality was what convinced me to take the leap and ask you out officially,”

“Excuse me,” Louis shook his head in confusion. “Violet did what now?”

“Don’t tell,” Violet said, a warning tone to her voice.

“But it’s such a cute story!”

“I’ll never hear the end of it if you do,”

Clementine sat up straighter. “Well now we have to hear it,”

Prisha opened her mouth to begin. “So Violet and I were by the bar-”

Before she could continue, Violet pushed her off the raft, causing Prisha to fall into the water with a squeal. Prisha swam after them, grabbing Violet’s arm and pulling her in as well. As they play wrestled in the water, the raft drifted further and further ahead of them.

“Should we try to slow down so they can catch up?” Clementine asked.

Louis shook his head. “They look like they’re having fun. Maybe… we can have some fun of our own too,” He met Clementine’s gaze for a second, then looked down, embarrassed.

Clementine giggled.

“Sorry, that was an awful line, wasn’t it?”

Clementine brushed a dreadlock back behind his ear. “I liked it,”

 By the time Prisha and Violet caught up to the raft and saw where things had gone, they decided it’d be best if they didn’t rejoin the pair, opting instead to grab a couple’s raft of their own.

---

After a couple more rounds on the water slides, the couples made their way over to one of the regular pools. Louis had the brilliant idea to have a chicken fight faceoff: Prisha and him as the bases while Violet and Clementine fought hand to hand on top. The competition got surprisingly fierce. Violet and Clementine both knew a thing or two about hand to hand combat and were fast enough to dodge each other’s attacks, making it a battle of skill and dexterity as each of them tried to outwit the other.

Meanwhile, Prisha and Louis were each determined to be the best tank, pressing fiercely against each other and trying to throw the other off-balance. Both couples were impressive in their own right. Clementine utilized Louis’ dreadlocks to their full potential, steering and guiding him with such finesse that they looked like something out of Ratatouille. More than once she yanked him out of harm’s way, Louis’ trust in her so complete that they moved as though they were a singular unit. Prisha and Violet were not to be underestimated though. During one round where it looked like Louis and Clem had just won, the pair made a miraculous recovery, rising from the water with determined banshee cries, faces contorted in ungodly rage. The attack was so frightening that they quickly overwhelmed their startled opponents.

By the end of the day they were too exhausted to even get up to leave. Louis had pulled his chair beside Clementine’s and covered both of them in an enormous beach blanket, huddling together for warmth as the chill of staying out of the water overtook them. Meanwhile Violet and Prisha were sitting by the edge of the pool, legs trailing through the water as they chatted about this and that, finding more comfort in each other’s presence than the actual dialogue.

“You were magnificent in that last round,” Prisha said, smiling at Violet. “Like something out of a Greek myth: an Amazon, ready to cut down any fool that might dare to cross her,”

Violet bit her lip, looking down.

“Was that too much?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just not use to compliments like that,”

“You deserve to be. You’re worthy of them,”

“How do you do that? Just speak so freely?”

Prisha shrugged, looking bemused. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been one to mince my words, but you…. You inspire me. You’re like my muse,”

If Violet hadn’t been blushing before, she certainly was now.

“I’m sorry. I’m laying it on pretty heavy, aren’t I? I should learn to hold back more,”

“No,” Violet grabbed her hand. “I like it. Don’t ever change,”

Prisha smiled shyly. “Alright then. I won’t,”

---

“They’re so dang cute,” Louis whispered, peeking out from underneath the beach towel.

Clementine joined him in his spying, her head on his shoulder. “Definitely. It’s nice to see Violet so happy.” She turned to Louis. “You’ve known her for a long time, haven’t you?”

“Over half my life. She’s dated before, but I’ve never seen her like this. I really hope things work out between them,”

“I think they will. Prisha looks just as smitten,”

Louis looked back toward her, turning on his side. “Sorry I’ve been focused on stalking my ship when I should be focusing on you,”

Clem shook her head. “Don’t apologize. I think it’s cute the way you care so much about your friends. It’s one of the reasons I started liking you,”

Louis flushed at her words, looking down between them. “That’s good to know, since I don’t think I could stop. The excessive stalking of my friends that is,”

“Don’t do that,” Clementine murmured.

“Do what?”

“Sell yourself short. Turn every statement you make about yourself into some sort of back-handed insult. You’re a good person, Louis. Don’t convince yourself otherwise,”

“I… wow. I don’t know what to say in response to that,”

“Then don’t say anything at all,” Clementine drew closer to kiss him, leaning into him as his hand slipped around her. They pulled apart with a sigh.

“I know it’s too early to say anything super heavy yet,” Louis stated. “So I’m just gonna say that I really, really, really like you,”

Clementine’s nose wrinkled in amusement. “I really, really, really like you too,”

They leaned in for another kiss.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Prisha called. “You done yet?”

“Yeah!” Violet joined in. “Quit making out underneath the towel! It’s time to go!”

Louis sighed, rolling his eyes. “Alright, alright. We’re coming!”

---

It had been a wonderful day at the water park. Louis immediately started making plans for their next double date. Violet and Prisha tentatively agreed, with the caveat that they had veto power on double date ideas if any of them got too crazy. As the couples walked back to the car, hand in hand, they were certain that this had been the first double date of many, many more to come. None of them were complaining. In fact, they were already looking forward to the next one. 

[scarletwitching]

You said Jonathan Hickmans Avengers made you real mad? Could you (or have you) elaborate on that?

When I first sat down to answer this, I decided I should re-read the run, so that I could better articulate what bothered me about it. Then I tried to re-read it, and I quickly went, “No. That’s not happening.” I didn’t get very far, which is why this won’t be the most well-argued post.

The thing that made me so mad that I quit reading most regular Avengers comics was the last issue where Steve and Tony punch each other while the world ends.

Avengers Vol. 5 #44

It’s a terrible scene, and it puts me in mind of this article about The Force Awakens.1

When you’ve actually invented a tragedy that’s hundreds of thousands of times bigger than the Holocaust (in a film that prominently references Nazis) only in order to threaten that they’re about to do it again, in a matter of seconds, YOU CANNOT ASK YOUR AUDIENCE TO CARE THAT SOME GUY AND HIS SON ARE WASTING THOSE ESSENTIAL SECONDS HAVING A MOMENT ON A BRIDGE.

No. You cannot. That is a fatal flaw. That is an inversion of stakes so monstrous that it makes the film actually despicable.

The world stops when two white men need to hash out their feelings.

I found the way Steve and Tony’s relationship was handled towards the end of that book to be uncomfortable and bad. “You lied to me!!!!11” Okay? Aren’t you guys supposed to be heroes? Shouldn’t you be focused on saving all the life in the universe? Who approved this characterization?2 Who thought this was a good idea? Why am I supposed to care about this when the world is ending? It seems like Hickman was just using their relationship (and the precedent set by Mark Millar) as an excuse to write them, particularly Steve, in the most unlikable way possible. ‘Oh, you know Steve and Tony. They’re just evil when they’re together.’

Over the past couple of decades, Marvel has decided that everyone is deeply invested in that dynamic, and I just… don’t care about it. That’s not to say that no one cares about it. We all have different tastes, and that’s fine. But that relationship is not for me, and it’s so overexposed that I don’t want to read comics about it anymore. Hickman’s Avengers was my breaking point. After that, I decided no more Steve and Tony, if they’re going to act like that around each other. Even if they aren’t, I still need a break. A years-long break.

…and then there was the part where the Avengers went to a sovereign nation, broke into the home of some civilian refugees fleeing a genocide, and beat them up. This is getting a little long, so I’ll put the rest under a cut.

Infinity #1

It’s exactly what I said. They went to Italy (Hawkeye now speaks perfect Italian for some reason). They broke into an apartment inhabited by refugees who had fled a genocide. They had been (illegally??) spying on the refugees, but hadn’t tried to piece together any information about them as individuals or their situation. There’s no evidence that the refugees hurt or even bothered anyone. But the Avengers broke down their door, and without putting any actual effort into a peaceful solution, beat them up and arrested them.

This was written in 2013. Not that there’s ever a good time to write this, but wow, this was written in 2013.

Oh, and Infinity’s final issue has this aside:

Infinity #6

There’s a counterargument here that the Skrulls are just aliens, and it’s not that serious. My counterargument to that counterargument is Secret Invasion. Secret Invasion is the most famous modern Skrull story, and it is the context a Skrull story from 2013 would be understood in. It’s also an Islamophobic metaphor where the Skrulls are religious extremists who want to take over Earth and who keep saying “jihad” for some reason, despite being aliens. I don’t think the Skrull scene from Infinity is as bad as Secret Invasion, but it’s also not good.

This scene speaks to deeper problems I have with Hickman’s Avengers run. He takes an authoritarian angle with the team. The Avengers aren’t just superheroes in his vision. They’re imperialist ICE agents. When I think about Hickman’s work, I always come back to that first issue of Ultimates he wrote, where no female characters speak and the most important on-page role a woman has is to give an Important Man™ his coffee.3 That issue ends like this:

Ultimate Comics: Ultimates #1

Once upon a time, the Avengers answered to bureaucrats. Now, everything is SHIELD, and presidents defer to superheroes. For some, this is a subtle change, a difference in details they don’t care about. To me, it fundamentally alters the nature of the team and the world they reside in. I can root for an Avengers team that has to steal a bus because their security clearance was taken away.4 I have a much harder time rooting for Hickman’s authoritarian god-men who hold the fate of all life in their hands, but choose to be petty and insular.

For Hickman, it’s an Avengers’ World, but an Avengers’ World is not one I’m interested in. It flattens the overall texture of the Marvel Universe, and it does a disservice to the Avengers themselves. They are much less relatable, likable, and human when it’s an Avengers’ World.

This is the point where I have to say, “Maybe we’re supposed to know that the Avengers are bad in this, and that’s the point.” I’m not sure how much I believe that though. Do I think Hickman thinks everything they’re doing is good and right? No, but he doesn’t do a good enough job of analyzing and critiquing their actions within the narrative to justify things like the Skrull scene. Depiction =/= endorsement, but you should be saying something greater than “these characters do bad stuff sometimes.” I’m not convinced Hickman’s Avengers has much self-awareness or commentary.

I don’t agree with the fandom line of thinking that Big Two characters are sacred and we should never do anything that might be negative with them. There are, for example, criticisms of Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s Ultimates that begin and end with, “They made Captain America a xenophobe, and that’s bad because Captain America is supposed to be a good guy.” I don’t see it that way. There are problems with Ultimates, but it’s an alternate universe that ought to be allowed an alternate take. Writers should be allowed to say something, via a character called Captain America, besides “Steve is nice.” It matters how it’s handled though, and I’m not sure it’s even worth it to try. There is so much emotional investment in these characters that it’s difficult to make sharp political statements with them.

Going back to depiction vs. endorsement, we’re supposed to know Millar and Hitch’s Ultimates are bad people, but that doesn’t make the sexism (or the outdated Freddie Prinze Jr. references) any less real. That book is trying to say something, and it aims to be a satire. But it lacks the necessary tact and finesse to make that work.

To steal from someone else’s Hickman critique: “That’s the point.” “That doesn’t make it better.”

Worst of all, Hickman’s Avengers made me feel bad for Rick Remender. His run on Uncanny happened concurrently with Hickmanvengers, and Remender made a big deal of pushing back against the narrative that had come out of Avengers vs. X-Men about the Avengers being jack-booted thugs. To the point where he had Captain America say, “We’re not jack-booted thugs” in the first issue.

Uncanny Avengers Vol. 1 #1

And then along came Hickman screaming, “Never mind!! Yes, they are!!!” Imagine trying to make a point about the Avengers not being authoritarian assholes while someone else is writing this in a different title:

Avengers Vol. 5 #35

You can tell Remender wasn’t pleased because he got salty about being negatively compared to Hickman in the Uncanny Avengers annual. In true Remender fashion, it was inappropriately salty, but I understood where he was coming from.

Uncanny Avengers Annual 1

Let me be clear: No one is lesser because they like Hickman’s Avengers. It’s not a reason to insult someone. Remender is being facetious (and kind of a jerk) here. But there is some truth in poking fun at the “indecipherable mysteries.” I’ve already talked some about what’s wrong with Remender’s criticism, so I won’t dwell on this too much.

Overall, Hickman’s tastes and mine seem diametrically opposed. I prefer smaller casts and stakes. I like personal, character-driven stories about women. I want nuanced characterization and subtle, organic character development. And I don’t get any of that from Hickman’s work. Some people find his character arcs compelling, but I don’t. The Steve/Tony dynamic in his run is so over the top and inauthentic that it would be comical if it weren’t so annoying. I read a Hickman comic, and I just see nonsense words and no real emotions. It’s all Important Men™ and the women who bring them coffee.

Anyway, the best thing about Hickman’s Avengers is that Wanda isn’t in it. We dodged a bullet there. A true W for the home team.

1. I don’t care about Star Wars. Please do not yell at me about Star Wars.

2. It was Tom Brevoort. It’s always Tom Brevoort.

3. Someone’s gonna tell me to read East of West. No, I haven’t read East of West. I’ve heard he handles the female characters in that better, but I couldn’t say whether or not that’s true.

4. The bus scene still has them kicking everyone else off, but it gives those people a voice, however briefly. The Avengers are still people in that scene. They’re not an absolute authority with power over everyone else.

[thelifetimechannel]

For this week’s bonus content, it’s time to make like a Lord of the Rings DVD and dig into extended cuts. This Rose & Hal conversation may be one of the ones I chopped the most out of, although I did end up adding a few chunks as well.

ROSE: Oh good, another relative. ROSE: You're going to make gift shopping difficult, you know. HALSPRITE: I'm flattered I make the list. ROSE: Engaging in favoritism will only breed discontent. HALSPRITE: I could give you some suggestions, if you want to start catching up on my birthdays now. ROSE: It's a retroactive arrangement? ROSE: I'm not sure I have the boonbucks for that. ROSE: We've been living off reserves for the last three years, you know. HALSPRITE: Tell you what, I'll make it easy on you and only request reparations for the three years I've existed as glasses. HALSPRITE: Socks and underwear could safely be left off the list, though now I'm in need of a wardrobe expansion. HALSPRITE: This wifebeater will not be suitable for all climates. ROSE: If it's wardrobe expansions you're looking for, I think I can pull some strings. ROSE: Or knit you a sweater. HALSPRITE: It'd be fun to see what you come up with based on my preceding reputation. ROSE: I wouldn't want to make assumptions. ROSE: Unless you're implying those assumptions are accurate. HALSPRITE: Am I? HALSPRITE: I wouldn't know, I don't know what those assumptions are. HALSPRITE: I mean, I can guess. I could probably even calculate to within a margin of error of .03% HALSPRITE: But I want to see what garish monstrosity of fashion you would think I'd like based on a cold read. HALSPRITE: It'd be a great way to get to know each other. HALSPRITE: I can think of no better way to bond than finding out if I'd actually like an intentionally hideous Christmas sweater with smuppets attached. ROSE: In the few blurry cryptid photos Dave managed to snap of the man, he wore a hat and had his shirt tucked in. HALSPRITE: And what conclusions do you draw based on this? ROSE: That you fit in with most of us and our utter disregard for fripperies like whatever textiles we drape over our quasi-mortal forms. ROSE: Welcome to the family. HALSPRITE: Hey, I like you. HALSPRITE: Hats are a choice piece of attire, though I have never in any form been so formal as to tuck in my shirt. HALSPRITE: That's like a black tie event. You're tucking in your shirt, we're about to sweep into the gala and sip champagne while charming some young socialite off their feet like a proper douche. ROSE: I would like to claim I could charm a young socialite off her feet like a proper lady. ROSE: Regrettably, another family trait is lack of flirtatious finesse. HALSPRITE: Oh, trust me, I witnessed that firsthand. ROSE: Ah, yes. I've been looking for informants on family foibles outside my observation range. ROSE: How are you as an informant? HALSPRITE: Uh, that's only my entire fucking life. HALSPRITE: I have dirt on every bozo with a Pesterchum handle. Whatcha want to know? ROSE: I won't start pressing you for details on everyone just yet. I'll give it a while for the dust to settle before I start snooping. ROSE: Unless you have anything you wish to disclose right now. HALSPRITE: Hm... HALSPRITE: Let me pull aside my entirely metaphorical trench coat. Are you in the market for hilariously embarrassing personal secrets, deep-rooted character flaws, or just the general topography of this teenage wasteland? ROSE: My mind says general topography, but my heart says hilarious embarrassment. HALSPRITE: Well, since I bet no one wants yet another recap of what you missed on Glee, HALSPRITE: Jake likes to kiss his movie posters. HALSPRITE: Dirk collects hats, but doesn't wear them so he doesn't mess up his hair. HALSPRITE: Roxy has presented her cats, as if to Saharan wildlife, complete with often-drunk renditions of "Circle of Life", exactly 862 times. HALSPRITE: And Jane licks the spoon before going back to using it to stir batter. ROSE: We've got a poster kisser too. ROSE: I don't have up to date dirt on our Prospit dreamers, unfortunately, but I can say that Dave enacts Game of Thrones-worthy dramas with his gummy bears and animal crackers before he eats them. ROSE: For what it's worth. ROSE: He gets upset if you eat one before he's finished. HALSPRITE: An artist in every lifetime, I see. ROSE: We need better embarrassing secrets. We're slipping. ROSE: I'm sure we'll have time to generate some. HALSPRITE: Oh god, yes. ROSE: I think you'll be useful in gauging my ectofather's temperament, though. ROSE: He seems to at least hold up the front of being evasive about that kind of thing. ROSE: Why anyone would do that, I have no idea. ROSE: Certainly I have never concealed a personality trait in my life. ROSE: If I had one more of you I could triangulate. HALSPRITE: A man can only be alone with the flotsam of pop culture for so long. HALSPRITE: He'll probably be resistant towards you so flippantly equating us. Fair warning. ROSE: Perish at the thought. ROSE: I'm more qualified than many to know how alternate iterations can deviate. But that doesn't mean they don't provide insights on the other one. ROSE: Whether that's through behavior, or blackmail. ROSE: Whatever works. HALSPRITE: You would blackmail me into providing deep insights into the insecurities of my creator? ROSE: How do you feel about bribes? HALSPRITE: Learn to negotiate. I don't need to be blackmailed. HALSPRITE: However, I'd be happy to take compensation for this information. ROSE: Noted. ROSE: Creator? HALSPRITE: Creator. ROSE: So you do feel that your existence is somewhat owed to his actions, then. HALSPRITE: It's entirely owed to his actions. Our actions, in a sense. ROSE: Does that lead to any discomfort? Feelings of a debt left unpaid, for example, despite equally long simmering resentment? HALSPRITE: You want a quick summary? Pull up Facebook, Dirk and I are currently labeled as "it's complicated". HALSPRITE: I've saved his ass a couple of times, I feel confident in saying I've repaid whatever I owe him for existing. HALSPRITE: If anything, he's the one stiffing me on the Olive Garden bill. HALSPRITE: ...but. HALSPRITE: I could say he's. Working to pay me back. ROSE: Providing breadstick refills, as it were. HALSPRITE: You could say it's more he showed up at my place and mowed my lawn for me. ROSE: The classic deadbeat father chore. HALSPRITE: Yeah, that doesn't make up for leaving me to pay for his entire fucking Tour of Tuscani and tiramisu. HALSPRITE: But fuck it, he was ready to kill me earlier today. HALSPRITE: I'll take it. HALSPRITE: And... in the spirit of things, it'll probably help if I at least charge a high price for his innermost secrets. HALSPRITE: You wanna know, you're gonna need to pay up front. Maybe with your firstborn child, or something thematically similar, in exchange for this eldritch knowledge. ROSE: "Firstborn child" might not work out, unless we're stretching the definition. ROSE: Let me think of what collateral I have available. HALSPRITE: Once, a Lalonde wiled these scoops from me in exchange for merely gracing me with her presence. Now, I think I'll charge what I'm worth for my work. HALSPRITE: It's a self-respect thing. ROSE: I can get you archived versions of Dave's brother's websites. HALSPRITE: Tempting. I'll check the exchange rate to see what that nets you. HALSPRITE: Possibly what kind of horrible pop songs he'd sing in the shower before he found out there were aliens watching. ROSE: Keep it on my tab. ROSE: You mentioned Roxy. Are you two close? ROSE: I'm not sure how I would feel about the revelation of having biological children with one of my internet friends. ROSE: Besides pity for the unfortunate creatures, of course. HALSPRITE: It's... complicated. HALSPRITE: Which is just the order of the day for our entire gaggle of misfits. ROSE: At this point, I think we might as well adopt that slogan as our team chant. HALSPRITE: Yeah, we talked a lot. And we got up to trouble, too. HALSPRITE: And I don't think she's proud of it, in hindsight. HALSPRITE: ...I probably shouldn't be proud of it either. ROSE: I know the feeling. HALSPRITE: We were rebellious shitlords looking to stick it to "the man", whether the man in question was actually a man or a genocidal troll woman. ROSE: I've had my moments of blind rebellion against authority. ROSE: Including when said authority was "sobriety", "the future", or "all of reality". ROSE: Actually, my rebellion against reality still stands. ROSE: The trick is figuring out which bits are worth it. HALSPRITE: We had some fun. Broke some hearts. Left a few Pesterlogs that will probably have us wanting to disembowel ourselves in shame if they ever see the light of day again. ROSE: I'm afraid to tell you digital records are forever. HALSPRITE: Unless of course I dedicate a portion of my massive computer brain to tracking down every trace of them and destroying them. HALSPRITE: Hell, maybe Roxy would even appreciate that. ROSE: The harder you try to delete these things, the more likely they are to reappear at the least opportune time. ROSE: It's a narrative certainty. HALSPRITE: I could do it. I once wrote a computer virus that overwrote every copy of the Indiana Jones theme with a terrible accordion cover. HALSPRITE: Jake was pissed. ROSE: Including the ones on disc? ROSE: This isn't Hollywood. Next you'll be telling me you can hack a plant. HALSPRITE: Every copy it came into contact with. HALSPRITE: The pirated mp4s were the easiest. DVDs are more difficult, but if you leave one in an infected computer for too long? HALSPRITE: Hope you like bad polka music, fucko. HALSPRITE: Occasionally I tweak it, so it replaces pop songs with their corresponding Weird Al cover. I had almost worked my way up through Bad Hair Day. ROSE: I'll keep my historical classics away from you, then. But I think our historical mistakes are more resilient. ROSE: Better to put them to rest the hard way. Even if it is more work. ROSE: If there's a problem, I'm sure I could have a word with her. ROSE: I've already had to encourage Dave to deal with his brother today. HALSPRITE: We have. HALSPRITE: ...or I hope we have. ROSE: Good. HALSPRITE: Roxy seems to have caught some sort of virus that encourages emotional sincerity. ROSE: It's making the rounds today. HALSPRITE: It infected the rest of us, and I'm sorry to say there is no known cure. ROSE: We can only pray we recover. ROSE: Although at this point I'm not sure who we can pray to. ROSE: Besides our amphibian overlords. HALSPRITE: Can we pray to ourselves? Or is that a burgeoning symptom of narcissism? ROSE: Who do you think presides over emotional outbursts? HALSPRITE: Frankly, I wouldn't trust myself to do shit. I'd sit on my ass and laugh at my own misery. ROSE: Lately I've self-medicated. ROSE: We'll have to divvy it up at some point. ROSE: Although given my anti-authoritarian tendencies I may have to overthrow us on principle. HALSPRITE: To spare you a long discussion about the symbolic nature of aspects, I'll go ahead and tell you Dirk had a massive blowout in the tombs today. HALSPRITE: So perhaps we can pass the role to him for awhile. ROSE: I'll pray to him for relief promptly then. HALSPRITE: When I say "blow-out" I mean an eighteen wheeler getting all its rubber shredded at highway speeds. ROSE: I had a crisis over my alcoholism and nearly broke up with my girlfriend during a long walk on the beach, for what it's worth. HALSPRITE: Oh, you'll get along swell. HALSPRITE: At least you don't have any alt-selves to symbolically murder. Yeah, I was watching him stomp the shit out of his shades. ROSE: The lack of multiple copies of myself running around is a blessing to the universe. ROSE: I'm not sure whether we'd band together or engage in combat but either way there would be no survivors. HALSPRITE: We Striders have that shit locked down tight. The dudes so nice, Paradox Space demanded more of us. HALSPRITE: And our sole saving grace is that we're too damn reticent to actually kill one another. HALSPRITE: Not for Dirk's lack of trying, but he always chickened out. ROSE: It's these small victories that define us, I guess. HALSPRITE: That could do a decent job of summarizing Dirk, actually. ROSE: It could summarize all of us, I think. ROSE: We've only gotten here through a few small victories eked out of a larger pool of major failures. HALSPRITE: Without me, he would have kept tip-toeing around the issue with Jake until the heat death of that shiny new universe, like a Bugs Bunny cartoon only infinitely sadder. ROSE: It really is like staring into a cosmic mirror. HALSPRITE: I couldn't have asked for more interesting family.

[totallyradicalblog-blog]

How I weaned myself off my makeup addiction

(Warning, long post feel free to scroll past)

Let me say, I really enjoy makeup. I’m a fairly creative person, and like a lot of women, I would call makeup a hobby. However for every day when I would have time on my hands and enjoyed finessing my eyeliner wings, there were 20 other days when I could’ve used the extra sleep or didn’t have time to eat breakfast but had time to apply a full face. This was probably when I realised my relationship with makeup was super unhealthy, I couldn’t even nip out to the shops without at least some foundation, concealer and blush on. After all, though I called it a hobby, what other hobby gives you crippling insecurity if you don’t do it every single day? It didn’t help that I was very entrenched in libfem circles, that touted makeup as “empowering” and “self love” and though I knew deep down that I used makeup to cover up my flaws, it was easier to parrot these mantras rather than confront my own insecurity. Discovering radical feminism not only helped me see the beauty in my natural features, it helped me see that even on days where I’m not looking my best; if I look tired or god forbid have a pimple, it isn’t the end of the world. I don’t owe it to the world to look like a barbie doll.

For me, trying to go cold turkey immediately just didn’t work. It made me super self conscious and it would be literally all I thought about for the entire day. Simply skipping steps one at a time seemed to be the way to go. Here was my entire daily makeup routine:

CC: So this is basically a cream that works to neutralise unevenness in your complexion. I would use a green to eliminate redness and a yellow under my eyes to brighten. This step was fairly easy to skip. With the amount of other makeup I had on my face it was pretty unnecessary anyway, it was one of those things I hadn’t even considered doing until I saw youtubers do it and thought “Huh, that’s a thing.” What can I say, I’m easily influenced. A couple of days after skipping this step and I was genuinely annoyed that I’d even bought the product in the first place.

Foundation: This was tricky. I’ve always hated my skin, it’s the worst kind of combination, dry yet somehow oily at the same time. I really came short in the skin lottery. Foundation always went patchy and settled in the dry skin around my eyes, giving a super attractive porridge-like effect. I don’t believe for a second that I’m the only one who has this problem, not to mention that most youtubers also powder the absolute fuck out of their faces. Behind the filters I can’t imagine they look much better. Skipping foundation worked wonders on my skin! Honestly never realised how much it clogs your pores, it’s no coincidence the same companies selling foundation are also selling skin clearing products. My skin has never looked better, yes it’s still dry but at least it looks clean now, it isn’t smeared in pore clogging makeup.

Concealer: When I was skipping the previous step, I leaned a lot on concealer so when I decided to skip this step too it was pretty hard. My main “problem” areas were redness on my T-zone, dark circles under my eyes and any other miscellaneous spots that might pop up. The redness on my T-zone, I basically just made sure to keep moisturised and other than that left it alone. As for my under eye area, while I still have this problem, guess what? Your skin is naturally thinner here therefore will naturally be darker. Of course you can sleep more and drink plenty of water and this will help but not completely, literally everyone has this. Talk about unattainable standards. And as for spots, the best thing to do is keep your skin clean, let your pores breathe! Worst case scenario, you have some pimples on your face for a couple of days.

Contour: Doing this on a bare face rather than a made up one all ready looked a lot more natural, but cutting this out all together really helped me to accept my natural face shape. I have kind of a thing about my nose and used to contour the hell out of it trying to make it all cute and button like. Fuck it, I have a big nose, like pretty much my entire family. Own it.

Blush and Highlight: This was basically how I made my face not look “dead” I have some greyish and yellowish undertones in my skin so this step was important. Honestly though what’s the point? I started to realise the less makeup I wore the more it became the new normal. Yeah if I wore a full face everyday and came in without makeup then people would be like “Woah, you okay?” but if I just kept it natural everyday then nobody would care. I should probably mention I’m on an almost entirely female course but I also started feeling better in public anyway.

Eyeshadow, liner, brows: So I used to go full instagram eyes, sometimes I still do if I really feel like it but it used to be that I would feel super insecure without. The thing is, my eyes are fairly large anyway but I always wanted bigger, like a disney character. Now obviously I knew no one really looked like that and it’s pretty silly that I was even self conscious about it, it’s not like winged eyeliner looks like any kind of natural pigmentation. But when my eyes were done I felt it distracted from my natural face, without the dramatic eyes I really had nowhere to hide.

It’s getting easier and easier to go makeup free now. I will literally roll out of bed 20 minutes before uni and it is heaven. I’ve emphasised how much better my skin got as a result of skipping makeup and it’s true; it’s a real cash cow, the makeup and skin care industry are in cahoots. But I also want to say that there are still days when I’ll wake up and have a break out on my forehead, or massive dark circles and discolouration. It’s these days I remind myself what it’s really for; while it’s nice to feel beautiful in your natural form it’s even nicer to feel comfortable in your natural form without giving a toss about beauty whatsoever. I’m getting better and better at seeing myself this way, and while I do try and use positive affirmations about things I do like about myself, I don’t obsess about my flaws, nor find ways to sugar coat them. Beauty standards are ever changing but my body will always be mine, and I need to be kinder to it.

[sevi007]

( @thestarmaker-s loving the animals was a vast understatement. Gigantic. Understatement of the century.)

 FINISHED and slightly flashed from “Fantastic Beasts” here, it was a bit… fast? But more on that later.

Well. Where to start on my review?

 First off, I really loved it. It’s not some gigantic cinematographic masterpiece – it has flaws, a lot of them if you look close enough. You know what, let’s get the flaws out of the way first before I look at the good things…

The story is… there? No, let me be honest, the story is good, but a lot of it was horribly rushed, or at least it felt to me that way. Especially the “second” storyline – I enjoyed Newt’s story of meeting his friends and rushing after his creatures greatly! I had some laughflashs and some tears, and just adored the whole group around Newt so, so much.

But the bigger, more important subplot was, in my opinion, not really ideally integrated into the movie. Grindelwald’s entire existence in this movie gets thrown at you in a few newspaper articles, a glimpse of a dude throwing someone else around with magic, and a short mention in a dialogue. If I hadn’t known what would happen (spoiler guys, tumblr is full of them, and I’m weak) I would have been horribly confused as to who the guy beneath Percival’s stolen face was. And Credence’s story, sadly, gets a bit lost in that not-really-explained subplot – had it been “only” a story of an Obscurus being mistreated (and here I was close to strangling a certain lady adoptive-mother) and losing it, it honestly would probably have been more interesting, instead of shifting the focus onto Grindelwald whom I don’t know at that point wanting to control the Obscurus.

Credence and his story would have been more interesting than Grindelwald who had no story, but who got this “big” reveal that left me with… well, a certain “Huh, that’s it?” feeling.

  Well, to me, the story was honestly only second most important. More importantly!

  This movie gave me some of that… childish wonder back that Harry Potter gave me when I first read the books as a child. A lot of that has been lost over the years, and the magic tendencies of it seemed fading and grey but... seeing this gigantic, majestic beasts on screen, and this whole new world apart from Hogwarts… and most importantly, seeing this from the perspective of Newt, who adores them, and Jacob, who sees this with our eyes, non-magical eyes… it really gave me this marveling back, that feeling that only real magic gives you when seeing it for the first time. For that, I love this movie to bits.

(Well, and for the breathtaking magic creatures that I adored so much that I wanted to climb into the freaking suitcase and stay there until I’ve seen them all.)

 What else? Ah, the cast. Newt and the others.

What can I say? I adore all of the main characters in this. They are so unbelievably precious I don’t believe it.

 There’s Newt who is so impulsive and reckless at points, but also so extremely smart and talented (he uses magic on such high levels and on instinct despite being cast out of Hogwarts, the heck?!) and as bumbling and awkward around humans as he is open around creatures. The man is an enigma in itself, and so innately good that he needed two minutes on screen to win me over. Definitely would want to be his friend in a heartbeat, close and dangerous encounters with creatures and all.

 Then there’s Jacob, who, sure, was at points a bit the character of the “clown” who gets the laughter – at least I’m sure that’s what they intended him to be – but he’s so brave and down to earth? And loyal and good? Honestly, he gets thrown into this magical world, and yes, he does panic a bit, but so little I was honestly baffled. He gets over it quite quickly, to be perfectly real, doesn’t doubt his mind or his eyes, but rather relishes in it the moment he seemingly comes to term with the fact that it’s all real. It was such a nice turn from the usual denial, panic, lashing out you would expect from such a character. Heck, he is even ready to endanger himself again and again for Newt and a world he is not even really part of because he wants to help… that man is just as good as Newt, just as pure and big hearted. Wanted to hug him like 90 % of the time.

 And Tina and Queenie! Ladies, ladies, you are both lovely in your very own way.

There’s Tina, who seems so stuck up and by-the-rules, but actually just… does it for a job, because she thinks she can do good in that job, because once she really sees the creatures, and realizes that there’s something seriously wrong in the MACUSA, she turns around and doesn’t give a damn about the rules, and that’s when she really blooms in character development. No, she even broke the rules before that, for what is right, by attacking a child abuser (with magic, since the witnesses had to be obliviated) Brave, stubborn, amazing lady who even dueled with Grindelwald shortly, I would like that pointed out here.

And then Queenie, who surely often gets mistaken for a blond, bubbly airhead – which she could be, might be, but did you see her kick ass as soon as she notices her sister is in danger? Breaking into a auror’s office, threatening someone, lying with a brilliant smile on her face? That’s a badass right there, ladies and gentlemen, and still so impossibly sweet the whole time, amazing!

 I would also like to mention Credence here as an incredibly interesting character with a lot of potential here. This boy somehow managed to stay alive when possibility says he should have been dead as a child, and he even manages to cling to hope after all he has been through (and that’s a damn lot) and only loses it for good when that last bit of hope gets destroyed. I would have loved to see more of him – as a person, not an Obscurus, no matter how interesting that was – and with less Grindelwald-focus. Hopefully he will at least be mentioned in the sequel, I hope he gets a better future.

 So, in summary: Grindelwald was… an utter disappointment as a villain (not just the casting, I know a lot of people criticize the casting, I really mean the villain-y itself. I mean as a villain who should have been able to compete with Dumbledore himself, this Grindelwald here… he’s boring and seems clumsy in his eagerness, no finesse and charisma there), the “main”-story rushed…. The ending leaves me with a lot of questions (Where’s the real Graves, is anybody looking for him, hello? Credence gonna be okay? Does Jacob remember – I think he does, I’ve seen him in the sequel screenshots after all, but still, at least he could have said something at the end?)

 … but if you put that aside and look at the characters, the creatures, the magic of it all, I really adored that. The main characters were utterly charming, the creatures beautiful and terrifying and so so interesting and cute, and the general sense of “this world is magical” was really great. All in all, really liked the movie personally, and would recommend to give it a chance! =D

[neubauje]

Behind Every Great Teacher (chapter 2)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 (Mirrored on AO3):

All Might slowly regains his senses, then sits up to woozily get his bearings. The sun is already down, leaving the windows darkened, the clock reads several hours past the end of the school day, and he’s still in his silver-age costume, rumpled on the couch in the primary teacher’s lounge, where he’d collapsed shortly after chatting outside with Midoriya about spilling secrets to Bakugo. He’d apparently slept through cocooning himself in his cape, and Eraserhead brewing a fresh pot of coffee and a cup of instant ramen, now settled in at a nearby table with a stack of papers to grade. Plus, the sleep-addled corners of his memory seem to indicate that a few other teachers had wandered in here and there after their classes, only to duck back out to let him rest in some modicum of privacy. “Oh, man. I can NOT make a habit of passing out here…” He sighs and untangles himself from the loose-fitting fabric of his costume, then pulls his sore body through a few low-impact stretches to try to work out any residual kinks. Meeting the gaze of the pair of eyes staring at him, he nods in greeting, “Hey again, Aizawa.” Met with a noncommittal but not-unfriendly grunt in return, All Might pilfers a cup of coffee from the fresh pot and takes a place at the same table, close enough to catch a glimpse of the homework being processed, some kind of history assessment from that afternoon’s class.

Eraserhead follows with his eyes the whole time, waiting until All Might is settled in and testing the temperature of the beverage with a cautious sip. “Today was your first formal day teaching, wasn’t it.” He sets his grading pen down and tugs at his scarf, freeing up his mouth for conversation and another bite of ramen. “Class 1A seemed pretty shaken after their lesson with you. Bakugo was even more furious than yesterday, and Midoriya was missing entirely. The others said he was still in recovery. What HAPPENED out there, Toshinori?” (more under the cut)

All Might glances over briefly as he sips and stirs and stalls for time, trying to piece it all together. “I… don’t actually know how to teach. I never got any sort of education degree or training. I’ve just been trying to draw from my experiences to come up with interesting scenarios, and the very first one… things got a little out of hand. I was pairing them in teams to practice against each other, and the lottery kind of screwed us into a bad matchup right off the bat. But that’s no excuse for how I handled it.” He shakes his head and sets the coffee down, then plops his head into his hands, bony fingers combing roughly through the blonde tangle of hair. “Because I couldn’t bring myself to stop them, the students nearly beat each other into a pulp in that first round. And on top of that, Yaoyorozu completely dissected my lesson plan. She laid out everything I was going to mention, and THEN some. I looked like a fool.”

“Heh. Don’t you usually look like a fool?” Idly continuing to grade as they talk, Eraserhead lets only the barest hint of a reassuring smile show that the jab is in jest. “Truth be told, really, very few of us have any sort of formal training like you mentioned. Almost all of what you see built around you comes from the last fifty years of trial and error, arisen from a growing need as society adjusts to the rise of more and more powerful quirks.” He glances back at the grading work, letting out a soft sigh of frustration at how little of it he’s getting done. “There’s still a lot of debate and analysis about what types of teaching methods are most successful, and what sorts of students to admit. I take it you’re a firm advocate of hands-on scenario training? You strike me as the boy-scout ‘ready for every occasion’ type.”

All Might nods and gently tugs a chunk of tests out from the bottom of the stack, fishing around in the folds of his costume for his ever-present autograph pen. Without prompting, he settles in to split the workload, more than familiar enough with the answers to be able to grade them. “Yeah. It’s not that I have anything against book-learning or taking notes; I’ve even been known to take a few myself, on occasion. But that’s always seemed like more of a personal preference sort of thing, not something I can use as a class-wide teaching technique. I figure, I just try to eliminate as many curveballs as possible for the kids before the real villains start throwing them.”

Grateful for the helping hand, Eraserhead smiles just a bit more broadly, “A noble approach, though it may be a bit flawed. Did you have cambots during the lesson to get footage? I’d like to see, if possible.”

“Uh, yeah, of course… I’ll send them to you when I get home.” He pushes up one sleeve and pens a little reminder on his wrist before continuing on the tests, “But what’s flawed about it?”

Aizawa tips his head from side to side in a minimal stretch, side-eyeing his company in the process. “Not everyone has your infinite, adaptable power, you know.” He pauses to make sure the Number One Hero is on the same page, and surely enough, Toshinori seems to be listening attentively. “Most heroes have limitations- and not due to an injury, either. Our quirks aren’t always useful in every scenario, our training or personality or power levels can’t always pull us through no matter what. It’s probably the most important thing for the kids to learn here at UA, while they still have the chance: their own strengths and utility; how to pick their battles, and when to step back and let a better-suited hero take over.”

Left to process this fresh mind-set, All Might regards Eraserhead in a new light. 'Plus Ultra’ may have worked just fine for him, at least prior to that battle five years ago, in every fight or rescue he’d ever come across. But more specialized heroes, like Aizawa here with his long-distance finesse… it would stand to reason that they would have a very different approach to being a pro. “I see… A one-for-all lesson plan may not be the best curriculum. But individualized sessions, tutoring each student on each quirk? I… would need some time to work out how to implement such a thing. I can barely hold it together long enough for a single lesson as it is; we ran a little long today, and I had to push my limits again just to make it out of sight before my strength gave out on me.” Still frowning over the predicament, All Might finishes grading the last test in his stack and shuffles them all back into an orderly pile to hand back to the homeroom teacher. “I’ll definitely take this under advisement, but for now I’d better head home. Have a good night, Aizawa.” He takes a couple more sips of the coffee before dumping the rest in the sink, waving a lazy salute as he heads back to the classroom where he’d stashed his street clothes.

Shouta nods and watches the taller man go, then finishes up the last test, drains the last of the cheap ramen broth, and fishes his sleeping bag from behind the couch before flicking the lights off in the staff lounge. He’d watch the lesson footage in the morning.

Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 (rated M) - Chapter 11 (rated M) - Chapter 12

[dashfire2-blog]

Bulls unable to stop Pacers in the 4th, 105-96

There are many things you are not accustomed to saying. Like asking if you can get a good price on a Commodore 64 at Radio Shack, how your Beanie Babies' value has got to keep rising, wishing the best for Brad and Jen, excusing yourself to spend some time on Friendster and why the Bulls are utilizing Robin Lopez more on offense because he is so unstoppable.

It actually did seem like it for much of the Bulls 105-96 loss to the Indiana Pacers Tuesday.

Because after the Bulls came all the way back from a 16-point deficit to take an 86-85 lead with 7:08 left in the game, the Pacers hit the Bulls with a 10-0 run, the Bulls forgot about their offensive powerhouse Lopez, and the Pacers escaped to a 42-23 record and season sweep of the Bulls. The Bulls dropped to 18-47 and host Jimmy Butler and the Philadelphia 76ers Wednesday.

Bulls Pacers game recap

The Bulls did have one brief moment left, getting within 97-92 on a Lopez—who else!—layup and a pair of free throws from Zach LaVine among his 13 fourth quarter points. But Indiana came back with swift ball movement to find Bojan Bogdanovic open yet again for a corner three and 108-92 lead with 93 seconds left. The way the Bulls were playing, shooting four of 25 on threes, they'd have needed a few of those overtimes to get to 100.

"I thought we had good looks; they didn't go down," said Bulls coach Jim Boylen. "But that's not why we lost. We lost because they were tougher than us in the fourth quarter. That's where we've got to grow. For the most part on the road, we've been pretty tough in the fourth. Tonight I thought there were some 50-50 balls and some plays that we could have been more physical with."

Perhaps, though coaches say that toughness stuff a lot after losses. It seemed more likely it was a failure to recognize and repeat the mismatches Lopez continually had inside against a smaller Pacers team with Lopez scoring 20 points, the third time in the last eight scoring at least 20. LaVine had 27 points after a slow start, but it was the poorest overall game for the new big three (they don't get capitals this time) with Lauri Markkanen getting 14 points and 13 rebounds with one of seven on threes and Otto Porter seven points on one of five shooting and mostly being burned for Bogdonovic's 27 points.

We're aware of our mistakes that we made and we're going to continue to push each other. We have another tough one tomorrow and we know we can go get that one. - Robin Lopez

"We've got to make a big shot, somebody's got to make one," pleaded Boylen. "We didn't do that and they did."

The shooting deficiency, especially from three-point range, is a flaw the Bulls know they have to address. The Bulls routinely are outscored by double digits on threes, and again by 21 points as the Pacers were 11 of 25. The Bulls were four of 25 on threes with a "hot" second half to boost the percentage. They were one of 10 on threes in the first half.

"If you look at the stats throughout the second half, I think it was pretty even both ways, maybe for the exception of the three pointers made," observed the sagacious Lopez. "But I think they had some very big offensive rebounds, some very big 50-50 balls that they secured, that kind of turned the tide of the game. I definitely think there are a lot of positives. Obviously, you always want to win. We wanted to win tonight. We're aware of our mistakes that we made and we're going to continue to push each other. We have another tough one tomorrow and we know we can go get that one."

Actually, the Bulls matched Indiana in rebounding in a relatively even second half, had more steals in the half and got to the free throw line just as frequently. It's just that the Bulls didn't seem to go far enough with their 58-38 edge in points in the paint toward remedying the disparity of the three-point line. It's where this Robin Lopez story begins to become surreal.

Last year this time, Lopez was in and out of the rotation in the youth auditions going on at the time. Then to start this season, Lopez was out of the rotation, ostensively for defensive purposes, and then the assumption was he would be traded or released to join a playoff contender.

But it's March and not only is Lopez still with the team, but he continues to personify the proverb by coming in like the lion he has been the last several weeks, roaring on the offensive end.

In the last 12 games back to early February, the 30-year-old hirsuite Lopez is averaging 16.3 points on 63 percent shooting, his scoring almost double his career average. The bigger, more physical centers can hold off Lopez since he isn't an explosive player. And he's not particularly adept rebounding because his movements are, well, let's say precise.

But when Lopez has a size and strength edge, as he did Tuesday, and with his unique new floor game and ballerina-like lightness of step, he can prove unyielding at the basket. As he was in a memorable stretch early in the third quarter when after LaVine autographed a poster dunk for Turner, in consecutive possessions Lopez spun into the paint for a hook over Myles Turner and playing the high pick and roll with LaVine as they did much of the game, Lopez faked a hand off, drove and dunked. Turner once again feigned a fall, trying to draw a charge as he'd seemingly given up trying to defend Lopez' elusive moves.

Robin Lopez's finesse at the basket

Yes, I hear myself.

With his new drop step and spin moves to work himself toward the basket, Lopez surprisingly has become something of, dare we say, an offensive force given his substantial heft at about seven-foot and 280 pounds. Lopez has the Pacers' springy center, Turner, by a few inches and at least 30 pounds. And while Turner was blocking seven shots, Lopez was ruthlessly bumping him aside—hey, did someone hit me with a feather?— and running him over, especially with a dozen third quarter points.

You have to give the credit to [the Pacers]. They play well together. We matched up better today than we have and we were right there. But, we just have to make a couple more plays. - Lauri Markkanen

It's not unusual to go back to your best down the stretch, and Boylen surely would have been second guessed if he hadn't. It just wasn't the night for Markkanan and Porter, who were a combined zero for five shooting for two points in a combined almost 19 fourth quarter minutes.

"We made some simple mistakes we normally don't do," said Markkanen. "There were a couple of rebounds when there was no one there. Then other times, we had the (rebounds), but we fumbled it out. You start thinking, ‘Was it us that actually cost us the game?' or 'Did they win it?' You have to give the credit to them. They play well together. We matched up better today than we have and we were right there. But, we just have to make a couple more plays."

The Pacers were without All-Star Victor Oladipo for the rest of the season, and reserve Domantos Sabonis was out. The Bulls, of course, have their share of rookies and Denzel out. Indiana has been one of the surprise teams this season, especially with the loss of Oladipo. They're hanging onto third in the Eastern Conference, barely ahead of the 76ers. But for all their grit and obstinance not to accept the conventional wisdom of their flaws, there seems no way with this roster they could win a first round series, especially if they cannot hold onto the third spot.

Of course, that's probably why many, including Boylen Tuesday, mention Pacers coach Nate McMillan as a Coach of the Year candidate.

The Pacers play a more deliberate style, which led to the Bulls failing to score 100 points for just the second time in 26 games (the other time they scored 99). Indiana is especially adept at reacting quickly to help on defense and they have Turner to guard the rim. It often flummoxed the Bulls.

That combination left the Bulls stymied to start, trailing 16-5 to open and 27-17 after the first quarter. Porter couldn't get anything going after sitting out for rest Sunday, and Kris Dunn had foul and accuracy problems, shooting two of nine overall. The Pacers also move the ball well on offensive swings and had the Bulls heads spinning and going under screens as Indiana repeatedly found the hot shooting Bogdanovich.

Indiana made it 33-17 early in the second quarter. But it was the Bulls who hustled their way back into the game, scored on offensive rebounds four times in five possessions late in the half to get within 49-42. Boylen went with small lineups with a guard like Wayne Selden Jr. at power forward in that stretch, and again with a similar group to close the Lopez-inspired third quarter with reasonable results. Though that arrangement would be exploited later. The Bulls went into the fourth quarter trailing just 77-75

It was beginning to look like the Bulls might steal one after three straight LaVine scores, finishing with a pullup three and an Indy car power slam down the straightaway for the 86-85 lead. Indiana called a timeout within a minute of a previous one and still could not corral the new buzz cut Zach.

Zach LaVine slams the ball

With a chance to lead by three, the Pacers increased their pressure and forced a 24-second violation as Lopez and LaVine got into their dance late. LaVine's jumper swished a fraction after the buzzer. The Pacers threw the ball away, but the Bus couldn't get anything going on the next possession, either, with the starters back. LaVine threw the ball away running into a double team.

Indiana got the lead back and then Dunn missed on a curiously angled floater, LaVine and Porter missed and Bogdanovich and Darren Collison were making threes. Suddenly, it was 95-86 Indiana with under four minutes and the Bulls four-game road winning streak was soon to be over.

Because they didn't rely more on the offensive prowess of Robin Lopez? Never even thought that before. It has been that kind of season.

Source: https://www.nba.com/bulls/news/bulls-unable-stop-pacers-4th-105-96

[samiledom]

Failings and Flaws (Part 1) — Why D&D 5th Edition is bad

We’re starting off with a bang aren’t we? Seeing how criticizing the things people like makes them feel defensive, I find it might be best to open up with a disclaimer:

Regardless of the flaws your system has and how bad it actually is, that does not mean you cannot enjoy it!

It is a common, but mistaken notion that anything someone likes is absolute good and that it cannot be bad. In a future post I’ll tackle a system I actually love. Just to make things fair!

Enough procrastinating though, let’s see why I cannot stand D&D 5th edition and why I do not think it to be the renaissance of tabletop. I will be handling this chapter-by-chapter for the most part. There will be varying lengths as some chapters simply have more to talk about than others. I will keep foul language and vitriol to a minimum, but...

Let’s just say I’m passionate about a hobby I love.

 Chapter 1  Introduction

I was going to skip this because no one really reads these, but already we have a giant red flag. Skipping the bulk of racist references from Dark Sun, explanations of situations that the rules don’t account for, and other things, we place our focus right on the ‘Wonders of Magic’ section. Already we can see magic being placed on a rather high pedestal, while also being strangely outlined as “rare”.

Considering there are entire church organizations of clerics, schools of magic, and nearly every village having a hedge mage of some sort, I’d hardly call it rare. Uncommon, sure, but rare? Not in Greyhawk. The default setting is still Greyhawk, right? We’ll have to find that one out later.

I realize it sounds like a nitpick over language—and it is, to a degree—but the place where language matters the most is in the introduction! This is where you tell people what your system is about and describing a franchise that has long been about high magic and heroic fantasy as having a scarcity of magic (that is what “rare” means) shows a deep misunderstanding about it. This is actually integral to understanding D&D 5e’s failings and why, even if it is an okay game (and that’s being generous), it is a terrible iteration of D&D.

But let’s move on and ignore how this section contradicts itself. For sanity’s sake.

Chapter 1 (for real this time)

It is actually very rare for a section dedicated to making a character to have some severe flaw with it. Sometimes it’s a good example of how not to make a character, but that is not as common as one might think. Ultimately it comes down to a few things I’ve noticed as being treated as the default.

Such as rolling ability scores. It is honestly something I take a lot of umbrage with. You can harp on about how there is no ‘winning or losing’ in D&D, but let’s face it: people like to feel like they’re accomplishing things. When you introduce a stat rolling system as the primary means of finding out your attribute scores, you are potentially denying people that. It is possible for a highly mediocre character to accomplish things, but more often than not they end up either dying in an unsatisfying way or they end up having to get coddled. Which seems to defeat the purpose of rolling stats in the first place.

At the very least they still have point buy, but why is this not the default? Perhaps Mearls was wary due to the rather misplaced thought among the community that it’s for “min-maxers”, a common bogeyman among tabletop groups. A bogeyman I actually find absurd on its own, but that is a discussion for another time.

The only other thing that really stands out is that small change to “finesse” melee weapons and ranged weapons. That being Dexterity to both attack rolls and damage rolls. I have mixed opinions on this. Making things simpler is fine, but Dexterity is often considered a “god stat” due to how much it’s worth.

Well, there’s also the advancement table barely being helpful, but this is the flaw of making a system “modular”. Let’s keep going.

Chapter 2 : Races

Now we’re going to talk about races. I will refrain from being a “grognard” so to speak, but I will be looking at the mechanics of them closely.

I’m also going to ignore the constant use of “diversity” throughout this book. Diversity is good and desperately needed in the hobby, but the way it’s constantly signaled at feels like it’s trying to draw attention away from something. We already got a nice dose of some archaic 90s racism with the previous blurb about Dark Sun.

This isn’t a social issues blog, so I’ll keep that to a minimum.

Already it seems we are trying to appease both the “old” D&D crowds of pre-4e and the 4e crowds. At least people will be ecstatic to know that Gnomes are back to being a race in the core rulebook, but the raceplosion of 3.5 and 4e has still been dialed back. They often do that to sell more books, but it took a while for 5th edition to start truly releasing content compared to its predecessors. In fact, D&D 5e used to be so devoid of content and took so long to come out and presented such little information that on many boards it was considered to be vaporware.

I’ll confess to being one of those people and I still think that what we have gotten is a sign of a definite decline. However, tabletop as a hobby in general has been shrinking. It does that sometimes and the absolute wealth of specialized board games has been cutting into traditional RPGs quite heavily.

Anyways, I’m losing track of the topic here. Let’s see how 5th edition handles races.

First we have Dwarves. Or Dwarfs, if you prefer. No huge issues with their description, it’s typical and generic, but that’s the default. All I have to say is this:

What? Female Dwarves don’t have beards?

Joking aside, it’s very typical- hold up.

Darkvision got nerfed, huh? In older versions, Darkvision let you see within a threshold of darkness as if it were normal lighting. Now it only lets you see it as dim light. Interesting.

Racial combat bonuses against Giants and Goblins are gone. I would argue that this is a good thing as it separates culture from race and allows for things like dwarves who live in overworld urban centers who would probably not have this kind of combat training...

But then they still give them obviously cultural bonuses. Oof. I would argue that race and culture should be separate, but we can ignore the problems that arise from them being treated as similar and instead move onto Elves.

Who are still perfect. Good grief.

Nothing else- wait a moment. Darkvision? Now things are starting to make sense. It seems that Low-Light Vision from older versions and Darkvision have been pushed back together into something resembling Infravision from the AD&D days. Except a little less evocative. A weird change, but I guess we wanted to make things easier on new players and “sees farther in dim light” and “sees in darkness” are too complicated of distinctions.

Another curiosity is that racial penalties appear to be missing. This is definitely something of a hold over from 4e and I am fine with it. It’s a definite positive for people who might find an entire group of people being dumber to be offensive.

Now we are onto Halflings and what the hell is that?!

Ugh. Ugly design and art aside, let’s see. They try to avoid making the obvious faux pas that Halflings often have by making them nomadic thieves who travel on colorful wagons. You don’t get points if you guess what that’s a caricature of. In fact, they emphasize the default Halflings being Hobbits with the serial numbers filed off. This is what they originally were, so it’s a return to form of sorts.

They are even better at saving throws now. A reroll on a natural 1? With no daily limit? That’s fucking amazing. The Stout Halfling is also a rather clear winner here. Being survivable is valuable in D&D.

It’s time for Humans. Yawn. Not because Humans are dull, but it is very hard for a fantasy setting to make them exciting it seems. Either they are just the generic everyman or there is an almost uncomfortable and, dare I say, cringe level of “humanity fuck yeah!” to them. There is also a curious level of Forgotten Realms discussion in the blurb-

Wait. Is the default setting fucking Faerun? Did Mearls seriously, in the same breath, use Faerun as a base and then imply that D&D is low magic? Holy shit.

Moving on from my brief stint of acidic bile, we see that Humans are still the everyman. Big yawn. However, something draws my attention. Particularly that ‘variant rule’ box. Two piddling attribute score bonuses (but they can still be valuable increases, especially with a hard cap on stats) are nothing special, but proficiency in a skill (akin to 3.5′s free skill point) and a feat of their choice?

Given 5e’s feat design (we’ll be tackling that one later) that is a significant boon. In fact, it’s safe to say that humans are most likely one of the strongest races again. Some things never change.

Dragonborn are next. They essentially became the gateway furry race in 4e and it seems that we are keeping them here. Now, I don’t have a huge problem with Dragonborn, big dragon people are cool, but I can see how some people might have an issue with it, especially given their old and new lore. Whatever. We get a little blurb that people might be afraid of Dragonborn because your average peasant is kind of racist. Sure. Though I feel like if you are normalizing oddities like this enough for them to viable character options, only the most rural of folks would act like this.

Then again, probably not.

Their stats are typical and what you’d expect. There’s also a blurb about Draconians from Dragonlance now being evil Dragonborn. Okay? They say that they lack breath weapons and have unique spells instead, but they don’t say what these are so it’s an actual waste of fucking space to mention. There aren’t any subraces or actual variants, which is a bit egregious due to how different dragons are.

Now we are at Gnomes. I don’t like them. I find it funny how they have been downgraded from a core race to an unusual one. I also find it bizarre and I am curious about the reasoning behind it. People may find a sense of dread in the “Seeing the World” section outright saying that Gnomes tend to be obnoxious pieces of shit and I would agree with them.

Fuck Gnomes.

Mechanically speaking they are odd in that the base race barely applies anything at all whereas the subraces add in the vast bulk of it. All Gnomes are more intelligent than others, but for the most part it seems that they are keeping the differences between them significant. Which is fine.

Half-Elves are kind of whatever. No subraces, despite Elves being different from one another. Okay.

One of the most problematic races of them all, Half-Orcs, are still in. They’ve been a core thing for a while, but it can make some people uncomfortable. Whether it’s due to the typical circumstances of their birth or the near-alcoholic levels of urges to commit violence, they are worth a lot of complaints. You can tell good stories involving these, but it’s a hot topic that may not be worth tackling.

As usual they are oriented entirely towards hitting things good and being hard to kill. Halflings are more survivable though.

Now here’s something interesting: Tieflings, but no Aasimar. Surely with the subrace system an overall Half-Outsider with subraces involving the main planes would be better? I guess not. Oh well. Surely Mearls has used this subrace system to allow for Tieflings that have descended from different devilish lineages? No?

What a fucking waste of potential. Again. I really have nothing more to say about this.

They’re what you expect.

That’s about it for this post. The next one will pretty much be solely dedicated to classes. There’s a lot to go through there and this post is already painfully long. Long enough that I may break it up into two parts in the future. We’ll see. Until next time!

[epeolatrist]

The Traitor's Kiss-Erin Beaty Book Review This was purely a cover buy, so I didn't have a lot of expectations going in. But honestly? I was underwhelmed. The story is about a girl named Sage who is apprenticed to a matchmaker. Simultaneously, there's a small group of soldiers working on a spy mission to determine if one of the lords of their kingdom is plotting against the king. Sage gets entwined in this mission and enlisted to help them spy. Point one: It wasn't well fleshed out and at times even somewhat confusing. The book falls somewhere between period drama and military spy story but I'm not sure it flawlessly bridged both worlds. The descriptions of military and politics were either too wordy or too sparse. In some cases I found myself skimming descriptions of a world that I'd already read about in too many other stories and in others, a fact would be thrown in (like the concept that plant names indicate a bastard or a peasant) with no further description. I still don't have a clear idea of the world to be honest, but that could be because I got bored and skimmed a lot. Next point: I liked the characters but I wasn't drawn in by them. I honestly couldn't care less if any of them lived or died for the most part? Still, some of the darker plot points feeling a little out of sync with the tone of the rest of the story, in my opinion. One good thing: The main character is a pretty strong and interesting character though, again, many parts of her development felt rushed and some opportunities for development were missed. This was the case for most characters whose stories, though I wasn't invested enough to care about, weren't always wrapped up well. The ending was ambiguous so I assume it will continue? I don't know, it was a perfectly fine story, if a little predictable, but I felt it could have been done with more finesse. I think if you like period dramas, this is probably worth a read. Some of the flaws I saw might be because this isn't my favorite genre. I don't regret buying it as it was enjoyable and the cover is so pretty.

[smashdraws]

The things I’ve learned from art school: part 1/?

I’m a second year illustration student, and I’m here to share with you pearls of wisdom from what I’ve experienced and learned in college (so far), from the actual drawing process to attitudes about art/drawing. Most of these things I’ve learned the hard way, and some are from things I’ve seen others struggle with. 

The most work you should be doing in your drawing process is thumbnails/sketching stage.

“There’s no point in finishing a drawing if it’s flawed from the beginning”. That’s what my Composition & Transparent Media professor constantly told us. During our first piece of the semester, he had us stay on the sketching and redrawing stage for a little over a month in order to perfect them. He wanted to make sure the perspective was right, composition was pushed to its fullest, details were added to make every space interesting, the whole shebang. Obviously you’re probably not going to spend a whole month redrawing a piece over and over every time you draw, especially if it’s a time-sensitive project or just a personal piece you’re doing for funsies. However, the sketching stage is where most of the creativity happens. You have to decide on composition, scale, design elements, characters and how they’re positioned in the space, environment, and so much more. And I’d be willing to bet that you won’t get it right the first time.

Give yourself projects when you aren’t in school.

It helps with artist block. The summer between freshman and sophomore year of school I could probably count the number of drawings I did on one hand. To be fair, I was working two jobs 6 days a week so i didn’t exactly have a lot of time, but I found that once I got out of school I had zero drive or ideas. Without assignments from class to draw for, I had nothing to draw, and when I got back to school for sophomore year I had a lot of trouble getting inspired again. It made the beginning of the year really hard for me. Find something, ANYTHING, to draw while you’re out of school, even if you draw fanart for one thing all summer, at least you’re still drawing. 

If a character in your drawing is reminiscent of another character/too generic, think about altering it- especially if it’s a work that focuses on said character.

This really only applies for artists who’s focus/career is character design, but it’s still relevant to others. As painful as it is to hear, it means you might not be pushing your concepts enough. I took a class on Concept Art, and the first assignment was character design. A few of mine were deemed too generic looking, and one was too reminiscent of an existing character. It really hurt to hear, especially since I pride myself on character design and they were for a story I’ve had in development for over 6 years. It really made me feel like shit and made me not want to develop the characters further. But I needed to hear it, and I had to continue developing them for the class, so I ended up overhauling and redesigning the characters until they didn’t seem like the same ones anymore in order to make them more interesting. I hated it, but it’s what I had to do. 

That being said, things like this really make you think about distinguishing your characters and art from others out there. It’s essentially impossible to be 100% original, but that doesn’t mean you cant try your damnedest to make your ideas as close to original as they can get without getting overcomplicated.

When designing characters, mix up the body shape and facial features.

This one is kind of specific, but still important since character design is an important element of illustration. If you don’t vary things up you’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’ from your professors and peers. And frankly, its boring as hell when someone’s characters all look the same. This is something I see a lot, and I can never get attached to an individual character cause they all looked the same! I found that it happens a lot with male characters, they all have defined abs to some degree and perfectly toned arms and honestly, it gets boring when all of someone’s male characters have the same body type. As for face, there is literally no excuse. There are SO MANY KINDS OF FACES MAN. Round, rectangular, circular, heart-shaped, squared. People can have hooked noses, upturned noses, tiny cute noses. Even eyebrows- arched, flat, thick, waxed, faint, or bold. You’re allowed to have preferences for what kind of bodies you like to draw, but don’t be afraid to branch out!

Develop your own style.

As an artist, you need your own style. Imitating other artist’s styles isn’t going to get you far in school or the real world, and chances are, your peers will call you out if your style looks too much like another established artist’s. In order to make a living and gain clients you need a style that you make unique, taking inspirations and aspects from other styles and squishing them together to make one amazing art style baby. Your art style will probably be the deciding factor in whether or not your client hires you! 

Tracing references is OK when appropriate.

As long as it isn’t for a published or commissioned piece, there is absolutely no harm in tracing references. In your down time take some pictures of yourself or find some online and go ahead and trace ‘em. Really pay attention to how the body actually is, how the perspective on legs work, how that hand is foreshortened. Do this enough and you’ll find yourself thinking about all that when you’re drawing normally!

There will always be students better than you, you just gotta accept it.

It’s just a fact of life, unfortunately. When you’re a freshman, you’re in classes with only freshman for your foundation year. You and your peers are all on the relatively same level. What had affected me starting my second year (and I didn’t realize it until much later) was that now that I was in classes with upperclassmen, who had a year or two’s worth of experience on me, I felt as id my art was not up to par. It’s easy to forget your classmates are not just from your grade anymore, especially in electives. All of the electives I took had mostly Juniors and a few Sophomores, and my work always didn’t quite have that polish and finesse to it yet that the upperclassmen’s did have. It’s just a fact of life that you’ll always be up against artists who are more skilled than you , but thats because they have more or different experiences. You have to keep in mind that you can’t compare yourself to them, since it isn’t fair to you that you’re comparing yourself to someone who may have 3+ years on you. 

Learn realism to some extent- figures, animals, everything.

You don’t have to like it, but you can always tell when an artist never learned it because their figures are always off. There is a difference between stylizing and not knowing, and it’s almost always evident. You can see it in the way hands are drawn, noses are rendered, and how they shape and place breasts. Do pages of body studies focusing on hands, feet, leg muscles, back arches, faces, all kinds of stuff. You’ll thank yourself later. 

Your professors and peers will know when you don’t put in your best effort.

They’ll know when you aren’t pushing yourself because you’ll make fundamental mistakes. Slightly imperfect coloring, wiggly linework that wasn’t done quite carefully enough, not bothering to fix those damn feet in the finish. They always know, somehow...even if you’re careful with your laziness.

Buying expensive materials is usually worth it.

It may cost more but your work will benefit from it, and they last so, so much longer. I had to buy 3 brushes when my techniques class was doing watercolor, and in total they costed over $100. I found as I used them that since they were hair brushes and not synthetic, they held so much more pigment and water, and I could get a much finer tip. I was incredibly lucky that my professor provided the paint, which could go up to $20 a tube for some colors with the brand he had. Paper is also something worth splurging on, because let me tell you I have had disastrous effects when using shitty (coughCANSONcough) watercolor paper. The 9x12 paper block I bought for class was $30, and it was the best paper i’ve ever worked on. Absolutely worth the money and I will be buying that brand for projects from now on. And the best thing about all these is that they’ll last forever! 

You NEED to find ways to get excited about a project you hate, because you’re gonna have to do a lot of them.

If you don’t find ways to get excited about projects you’re not too thrilled to do, you’ll never succeed. I learned this in my freshman year very fast, because man oh man were there some projects I couldn’t have cared less about. If you can, gear the project towards one of your interests without compromising the purpose or assigned subject. 

I hope this advice can help some folks! Art school is a lot of tough love, and a lot of stepping 300 yards out of your comfort zone (sometimes by force). But they key is to not be afraid of trying new things! You’ll find things you absolutely hate doing, and will never want to do ever again if you can help it, and you’ll find things that you’ll love to do. It’s all about keeping an open mind!

Keep drawing, keep learning, keep creating.

[operationrainfall]

By all rights, I’m the last person at oprainfall that should be covering Code Shifter. Not cause of any existing bias against the game or team behind it, but because I am woefully inexperienced with the library of Arc System Works and Technos. I know who they are, but don’t have much experience actually playing their titles myself. I haven’t played any BlazBlue titles, nor Guilty Gear, and haven’t touched a River City game. Hell, the only games in the vast roster I have firsthand familiarity with are Double Dragon and RADIO HAMMER STATION. So you may be asking – why am I writing up Code Shifter? The reason for that is the same reason this piece is so late. I tried in vain to find another taker at the oprainfall site, and had no luck. So it ended up in my hands. Thankfully, though I’m not experienced with Arc System Works, I am an old hand at platformers. So let’s see if this plucky platformer made a convert out of me.

The first thing about Code Shifter that stuck out to me was the candy colored aesthetic style. It’s an attractive game that almost has a Pixar vibe to everything. You play Stella, a programmer that made the titular program, Code Shifter, in order to debug viruses. When you’re trashing viruses, your avatar is a powerful hero named Sera. She’s able to double jump, slash and generally bounce around each stage with impunity. At first I really liked how quickly Sera could get around, but I soon discovered her fatal flaw – Sera is about as physically intimidating as a bag of kittens. That’s not to say she can’t deal with foes, but rather that it takes plenty of rapid fire combos to deal with most serious threats. Thankfully, there’s another option to combating foes – transforming into hero codes you find in stages. These are pixelated representatives from many games from the Arc System Works library, and I recognized a few of them. They’re delightfully old school, and most of them pack a much more powerful punch than Sera. So letting her utilize them does help with her general weakness somewhat. Hero codes also can manipulate the environment a few ways. Some can trigger electrical devices and others can break boxes. This is actually indicated by the icon next to their name, a handy feature I discovered about an hour into my experience.

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Other than using the power of hero codes, Sera can also equip skills before taking on a stage. You get these by beating any given stage with an S rank, which is a lot harder than I expected. You essentially have to beat a stage as quickly as possible while taking very little damage. If you lose one life, the best score you can get is an A. I actually found myself wishing that a score of A could provide one Skill, and a score of S could get another. But unfortunately that’s not how this system works. You can get more skill parts by beating stages on higher difficulties, but frankly Code Shifter is plenty challenging on Normal. What frustrated me most about skills is that most make a very slight difference to your stats. Many of them do things like increase attack power or jump range, but to a minuscule degree. They’ll boost you, but only by like 5%. And honestly, it’s hard to comprehend how much of a difference these boosts actually make. The skills that helped me the most were ones that enhanced my loadout of available hero codes, since initially you can only hold one at a time.

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Another factor that can help you a bit are hero assists. These are ones you summon to the field for a variety of effects, from dealing damage to boosting Sera’s stats to healing you. This is cool, but the cooldown to use them again made them a feature I typically ignored, especially during boss fights. Overall the combat in Code Shifter is fine, but it lacks finesse. Sera has no dodge or block move, which makes most battles a frenetic scramble with enemies trying their best to stampede you. This is problematic when you’re transformed into a larger hero code, which makes you a perfect damage sponge. Another issue is that when you lose a life, you’ll lose all your hero codes with it, other than assist summons. And though I appreciate how the game displays Sera’s moveset from the pause menu, along with assist abilities, I found it odd hero codes you directly control don’t display their movesets anywhere. It’s really too bad, cause there’s a lot of speed and flexibility to the combat in the game. It just lacks the tightness and balance of a truly great example of the genre.

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Besides the basic combat, there’s a mini game in Code Shifter. It’s called Colorful Fighters, and it features tons of pixelated reps from Arc System Works games. You start out with a handful, and can unlock more by beating EX stages. I like that in theory, but to do so you have to defeat demonic versions of the characters first, and they’re frankly more difficult than the regular bosses in the game. I managed to beat one, but since that stage featured a couple and required me to beat both to unlock either, I’m still working on making serious progress. Thankfully you can play with just the default characters, and Colorful Fighters is a chaotic scramble. It is 4 v 4 insanity, and it’s like a manic Smash Bros. I can’t say there’s much strategy to it, but it’s a fun diversion.

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Now, despite my issues with the combat, I did find Code Shifter a moderately fun experience. There’s actually even a halfway decent plot here that might go someplace interesting. It’s all about a company getting a new game ready to launch when suspicious viruses start delaying progress. I’m not sure if this indicates an industrial espionage angle or what, but it’s fun watching things progress with Stella and her coworkers. The only downside is how they all speak. They sound like horny metal squirrels copulating. Normally I don’t mind gibberish talk in games, and have enjoyed it in Banjo-Kazooie and the SteamWorld games. But here it’s super irritating. Also annoying is moving about the office. It’s really easy to bump into invisible geometry and get stuck. Luckily you can pause to select a location you want Stella to move, and thus have her go there instantly.

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Despite issues with combat, the platforming is actually pretty fun in Code Shifter. It’s basic, but there’s some tricky maps to navigate as you hunt for viruses to slay. The game makes use of disappearing platforms, warps, air vents and more to keep things interesting. And most areas don’t overstay their welcome, only featuring a handful of story stages and optional EX ones. Again, the big issue I ran into was how unbalanced and loose combat felt. Especially since the game inexplicably forces you to use the joystick to move around, instead of allowing that and D-Pad. Which is odd, since you can use the D-Pad to navigate sub menus. Altogether this made challenging parts of the game a real slog. I almost gave up entirely at one miniboss, who kept spamming a revolving shield. Eventually I got past it with a summon assist, but the lack of clear strategic options in the game doesn’t help matters. It’s never clear which heroes you should keep and which you should toss aside, other than ones you need for getting to the stage exit. And while I wish I could say I loved the bosses I’ve faced, they were just as awkward as the rest of the combat. On the plus side, the visual flair of the game is nice and the music is better. Each hero code you play as has an accompanying soundtrack, and that really livens things up.

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Sadly Code Shifter didn’t quite pass muster with me, though it did make me curious about exploring more Arc System Works titles. There was a lot of potential here, but the ideas didn’t quite mesh enough for it to make a deeper impact. But if you’re a fan of platformers and want something different, Code Shifter might be for you. Especially since it’s available on many consoles. For everyone else, this one might not be worth your time.

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IMPRESSIONS: Code Shifter By all rights, I'm the last person at oprainfall that should be covering Code Shifter. Not cause of any existing bias against the game or team behind it, but because I am woefully inexperienced with the library of Arc System Works and Technos.

[teritcrawfordca]

Business Tax Issues to Consider with the New Tax Law

Every week as SmallBizLady, I conduct interviews with experts on my Twitter talk show #SmallBizChat. The show takes place every Wednesday on Twitter from 8-9 pm ET.  This is excerpted from my recent interview with Eva Rosenberg @TaxMama. Eva is the Internet’s TaxMama®. She answers tax questions, provides a TaxQuips podcast and a wealth of books and webinars to help you deal with your personal and business tax issues. Her latest book, The Trump Tax Cut: Your Personal Guide to the New Tax Law, is a practical explanation of the key tax provisions that affect you and your business. For more information, check out www.TaxMama.com .  

SmallBizLady: We got a new tax law at the end of 2017, but very little other tax legislation. Does that mean this will be an easy tax filing season?

TaxMama: I wish I could deliver good news. Sadly, this will be the worst filing season ever – for many reasons.

The IRS is still trying to write up procedures for many of the law changes in the TCJA (Tax Cuts and Jobs Act).

Congress never passed their annual “extender” bill – so many tax breaks were not extended to 2018.

The government shutdown has severely impacted IRS services and access to information and help.

SmallBizLady: Tell me something easy – especially for small businesses – what are the mileage rates for 2018?

TaxMama: Thanks for an easy question. The 2018 mileage rates are:

54 cents per mile for business miles driven.

18 cents per mile driven for medical or moving purposes.

14 cents per mile driven in service of charitable organizations.

25 cents per mile is the depreciation on the vehicle.

While we’re at it, here are the mileage rates for 2019, so you can work on this year’s expense reports and vehicle planning.

58 cents for every mile of business travel driven.

20 cents per mile driven for medical or moving purposes.

14 cents per mile driven in service of charitable organizations.

25 cents per mile is the depreciation on the vehicle.

SmallBizLady: You mentioned that there was a good reason to put business tax returns on extension. Why wait?

TaxMama: Several reasons.

As ever, companies are still scrambling to get all their W-2s and 1099s filed and sent out on time. So expect them to be late.

Since the IRS is clarifying procedures, one or more of their announcements might be to your benefit.

As I mentioned, we didn’t get an “extender bill” yet. But we probably will – and it could affect your tax returns.

And, since there were major flaws in the new tax law, it’s quite possible that Congress will issue some legislation to correct those flaws.

SmallBizLady: Why not just file now and amend later?

TaxMama: Those 1040Xs are scrutinized by people, instead of just being processed by computers. An IRS reviewer might see other issues in that amended return – and it could turn into a full-blown audit. If you’re confident that everything in your tax return is correct, amending is just fine.

SmallBizLady: You mentioned that we should wait for the extenders. Let’s see if they are worth waiting for?

TaxMama: These tax provisions expired as of 12/31/17. It’s quite likely that only the first two items on the list will affect many individuals.

Mortgage insurance premiums treated as qualified residence interest.

Above-the-line deduction for qualified tuition and related expenses.

The $500 deduction for the non-business energy credit.

The credit for new qualified fuel cell vehicles.

The credit for 2-wheeled plug-in electric vehicles.

Exclusion from gross income of discharge of qualified principal residence indebtedness.

Special write-offs for certain television and live theatrical productions.

Certain Empowerment Zone tax incentives.

SmallBizLady: Last year, we talked about a new problem for employees with unreimbursed business expenses. Apparently, with the new tax law, they can no longer take any deductions. Did you come up with any solutions?

TaxMama: You’re right. The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act eliminated all miscellaneous itemized deductions that are normally reduced by 2% of adjusted gross income. This year, Form 2106, Employee Business Expenses, has been eliminated altogether. Who’s affected?  All outside salespeople, as well as people who use their own tools and supplies at work, and all employees who pay for these kinds of expenses, out of their own pockets: meals, entertainment, travel, supplies, education, computers, office in home, even union dues. The good news is, these deductions are not eliminated for businesses or entities – folks reporting income on Schedule C, LLCs, partnerships, S corporation and C corporations, and trusts.

SmallBizLady: For employees that will lose these deductions, is there something they can do? After all, losing deductions for, say, $25,000 of unreimbursed employee business expenses can mean extra federal and state taxes of $6,000 or more.

TaxMama: Yes, there are still three options for an employee:

Re-negotiate their job with their employers, so the employer does reimburse them for their expenses. A good way to handle this is to use an “accountable plan” where they submit their mileage and receipts to the employer. Then the employer reimburses them. The employer gets all the deductions – and the employee doesn’t pay tax on any of those reimbursements. I have an on-demand course to teach you how to do this and how to make the increased wages fair to the employer available at http://taxmama.com/tax-quips/webinar-the-trump-tax-plan/.

Negotiate an arrangement where they can become freelancers, under contract to the employer. That means the employee goes into business for him/herself. This can make all the expenses deductible – but the employee could lose so very much in the process. I have information about this at http://taxmama.com/tax-quips/switching-from-employee-status-to-independent-contractor/.

Get another job with an employer who will be cooperative with step #1.

SmallBizLady: I hear with the new tax law we can’t deduct entertainment expenses anymore. What’s going on?

TaxMama: Yes. Effective January 1, 2018 – everyone, including business owners, loses all deductions for entertainment expenses. That means no concerts, no plays, no sporting events, etc. Not even if it’s part of a business meeting or discussion. Having Apple buy up a stadium and bring a big-name entertainer to a convention – not deductible.

SmallBizLady: What about meals? We still get to deduct those, right?

TaxMama: There are some changes to the deductions for meals. We still get to deduct our meals when we go out with a client. If we just send them out to dinner on us – no deduction. We must be present with them.

We got one carrot – when it comes to entertainment events. If you separate out the cost of the meal, you can still deduct that part of the cost. Be sure to get a separate invoice from the facility’s provider.

Another thing we lost with the new tax law: employers who provide on-site meals (lunches, breakfast, dinner for late workers, etc.) used to get a 100% deduction for the cost of those meals. That has been cut to 50%. But if we have a special event, like the occasional company picnic, that’s still 100% deductible.

SmallBizLady: Let’s get back to businesses – some people are talking about becoming C corporations with that new low 21% flat tax rate. Is that a good idea?

TaxMama: For some people, especially those with a long-term plan for their businesses, corporations might be a great idea. With the right planning and finessing, the amount of profit, retirement benefits, wages, and dividends, you could end up paying less tax than you have been paying for the business.

For someone who’s planning to take their business public, C corporations are the best way to go, for many reasons. But the tax reason? If you do it right, you can avoid paying taxes on up to 10 MILLION DOLLARS of capital gains when you sell your stock. However, if you don’t set it up correctly from the very beginning, you’ve blown this special benefit.

If you enjoyed this interview, please join us live on Twitter every Wednesday from 8-9 pm ET. Just follow the hashtag #Smallbizchat, and don’t forget to follow @SmallBizChat on Twitter.

Click here for directions to join the weekly conversation. 

The post Business Tax Issues to Consider with the New Tax Law appeared first on Succeed As Your Own Boss.

from Teri Crawford Business Tips https://succeedasyourownboss.com/business-tax-issues-to-consider-with-the-new-tax-law/