#sure people can read it as romantic if they want

[fairyhaos]

◈ love of my life // yoon jeonghan

jeonghan x gn!reader, 2k+ words

tags: technically requested by lots of people bc everyone wants jeonghan fluff, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, crack, mutual pining, almost-confessions

warnings: light swearing

summary: in which your relationship with jeonghan isn't exactly platonic and isn't exactly romantic... but rather, it's a secret third thing.

It has to be at least two in the morning when Jeonghan's ringtone blares throughout his bedroom, and he rolls over with a groan, grappling blindly at his nightstand before finding his phone and pressing it against his cheek. 

“Who is this and what do you want?”

“Jeonghan, let's go on a date.”

He recognises your voice in an instant, even in his half-asleep state, and he huffs a laugh, flopping back against the pillows and rubbing his eyes. 

“Gee, at least ask me when it's not ass o'clock in the morning, won't you?”

“No, no, this only works if you get up right now,” you say. “Come on, Jeonghan, just go on a date with me. Right at this very moment.”

Jeonghan rubs his eyes, before taking his phone away from his cheek and peering at the screen so he can read the time. “See, you’re not presenting a very good argument,” he says, once he’s put the phone against his ear again. It’s almost three in the morning. What are you thinking? “I don’t wanna date you that much.”

You make a sad sound on the other end of the phone. “What will it take to get you out of the house?”

“Wire me an obscene amount of money right now and I’ll think about it.”

There’s a pause.

“No. Best I can offer is a pretty please.”

Jeonghan can’t help smiling at your dry tone, and he rubs his eyes once again with a yawn. “Fine. I guess I can’t expect anything better from you, anyway.” He can almost see you biting your lip in annoyance, wanting to quip something witty back at him but also wanting to keep quiet so he’ll actually come. 

“You know me so well.”

“Yes I do,” Jeonghan teases, and groggily hauls himself out of bed. “I’ll be ready in ten. Where do you want me to go?”

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ll pick you up,” you say, suddenly sounding excited. “Just wait for me and I’ll come over to take you out.”

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “Is that a threat?”

You laugh, bright and happy, like it’s not four in the morning and you’ve asked your best friend to go on a date with you. Jeonghan can’t help but smile again, even as he grapples blindly through his dark room to find some clothes.

“Don’t worry. It’s a promise.”

───────────── 🌘

Jeonghan is, admittedly, more than a little confused when you just take him to the nearest playground.

Sure, maybe this entire thing is weird—you calling him up during ridiculous hours of the morning to “go on a date” is definitely not something you’ve done before—but that’s just the kind of friendship he and you have. 

It’s like how, last year, he spent an entire month calling you increasingly ridiculous pet names, ranging from “beloved” to “honey butter snuggles bunny bear”, and purposefully took you out to public cafes and restaurants to test them out for everyone to see and hear, preventing you from punching him as hard as he probably deserved. 

So this is, like, nothing new. Just a funny and silly thing the two of you do, because you've known each other for the whole of your lives, and when it comes to the way your relationship works, the lines separating “platonic” and “romantic” have always been curiously nonexistent. 

It doesn’t mean anything. It’s never meant to mean anything.

But sometimes, sometimes, it feels like it should.

“I think I’m going to end up alone forever,” you say abruptly, and Jeonghan looks over at you in surprise. You’re sitting on the swings next to him, dragging yourself back and forth as you look up at the sky. There’s nothing to see up there, with the clouds obscuring any moonlight, so it's obvious that you're just looking away so he can't see your face. 

It's so quiet; Jeonghan didn't realise that the world could be this quiet at 2 in the morning, and it makes your words echo extra loud into the abyss, before they're swallowed by the darkness. 

Jeonghan shrugs. “Maybe you will.”

Instantly, you're leaning over to swat him on the arm, and he laughs. 

“Asshole,” you say, but there's no venom in your voice, even as you level him with a glare. “You're really no help. I'm trying to unload all my deepest fears for you, here, practically begging you to reassure me, and yet all you can do is be mean.”

“You said one thing,” Jeonghan points out. “I don't think that counts as unloading all your deepest fears.”

“Yeah, well, maybe it's my only deepest fear.”

“Why are you unloading your deepest fear on me?” Jeonghan asks, kicking his legs out in front of him. “We're on a date. Our first date, mind you, so this hardly seems appropriate.”

“Asshole,” you say again, but like before, the word has no bite. You glance over at him, before realising that he's looking at you, and then quickly raise your gaze to the sky. “I'm being serious about this, you know.”

Jeonghan says nothing for a long moment. Watches the way the pale light from a nearby lamppost gives you an unearthly, almost otherworldly glow. 

“I'm being serious too,” he decides to say, looking up at the cloudy sky with you. “You shouldn't be saying that stuff on a first date. Kinda makes it sound like you don't think things will work out between us, you know?”

You huff a confused laugh, looking over at him again. “Jeonghan, wha—?”

“And maybe you will end up alone,” he carries on, thoughtfully, as if he's talking to himself, forgetting that you're sitting there too. “But maybe you won't. I think you probably won't. And even if you do, it's fine, because I'll still be with you.”

It's a painfully vulnerable thing to say, made doubly so by the quietness of the night. Like a love confession, almost. Except it's not, because he's not in love with you. 

He isn't. 

“That's really sweet,” you say, almost begrudgingly, as if it pains you to admit that Jeonghan actually said something nice, and he laughs. “Though wrong. If you’re with me, then I'm not alone, am I?”

“Oh, I see. When you said alone, you meant in general. I thought you meant, like, romantically.”

“Well, maybe. But maybe I also meant overall,” you shrug. “I didn't think you'd want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Jeonghan swallows, tilts back on the swings, head still raised to look at the sky. “I want to spend every life with you.”

You look away from the sky at his words, turning to face him in surprise. The echoes of what he’d just said were already fading away, muffled and pressed into the velvet dark of the night, but the surprisingly soft air that followed in its wake still remained.

 Now, he's the one avoiding your gaze, keeping his eyes firmly locked on the shapeless, misty blur of clouds above him so he doesn’t have to look at you. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see you tilt your head, and smile. 

“Oh, look at you, you sap,” you say, bright and teasing. “Face it, you like being with me. Oh! I bet you're in love with me, seeing as how you agreed to date me and everything! Isn't that right, Jeonghan? You love me.”

Jeonghan pulls a face, and you burst into laughter, so ridiculously loud and happy even though it's two in the morning and the whole playground is silent, the sound of your happiness ringing against the cool air of the night. He can't help but look at you then, exasperated and fond, shaking his head as you grip the swing chains and sway back and forth, still giggling to yourself. 

He sniffs, feigning annoyance as he leans to the side, making a dramatic show of pulling his swing away from you. 

“This isn't a real date. I could never date you.” He scrunches his face in faux disgust for good measure, and you laugh again, rolling your eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. And yet you still came out when I called, didn't you?” you tease, smiling widely, and Jeonghan has to admit that you're right. He's here because you asked him to be here. He’s here for you.

Hm. This was getting weirdly soul-baringly truthful for what he’d thought would be a silly little hangout in the middle of the night.

“Next time you call me at 2am, I’m blocking you forever,” he says dryly, giving you an exaggerated look of disdain just so he can revel in the laugh that it pulls out of you.

“No you won’t,” you say cheerily. “Because you looove me.”

“Um, lies.”

“No lies. You literally love me so much.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You do. You do, you do, you do, you’re actually genuinely in love with me and there’s nothing you can do to deny it, because it’s so obvious that I’m literally the love of your l—”

Jeonghan makes a clicking sound with his tongue and leans over to shove your arm, causing you to swing to the side as you cackle with delight at his reaction. He glares at you, again, sighing with exasperation as you continue to laugh.

“Yes, yes, I love you, just as much as you love me. Now if we’re not actually doing anything of importance, then can I go home?”

“What?” you say indignantly. “Of course not! If I can’t sleep, then that means you’re not allowed to sleep either.”

“I knew it. You called me out here because you couldn’t fall asleep.”

“Duh. Now come and push my swing, will you?”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes and stands up from his swing, groaning and holding his knees like he’s some kind of grumpy grandpa. You laugh, mocking him for his bad joints as he walks around to stand behind you, and he snarks back something ridiculously funny and rippling with light, twisting through the cool air.

And then his hand presses against the small of your back, soft and yet sure, and suddenly all you can focus on is that gentle, feathery point of contact that connects you to him.

Your laughter subsides as he begins to gently push your swing, and you move up, and down, and up, and down, the fleeting warmth of his hand an intermittent pressure against your back. He doesn’t say a word. Everything is quiet, in your head. Like his touch alone could silence any worries that still floated around in your brain.

It’s one of the things you adore most about Jeonghan. He makes you feel safe.

“For the record, by the way,” you say, voice quiet, “I really do love you.”

There’s no noise but the metallic creak of the swing, sounding weirdly small in the yawning abyss of the dark. Jeonghan’s hand is still steady as he pushes you, again and again.

“As a friend?” he asks, eventually.

You can’t see him, and maybe that’s for the best. His voice is tinged with a colour, an emotion, that you can’t quite name, warm and cool and fleeting and present all at once.

Yet more silence greets his words. You continue swinging, and he continues helping.

It’s hard to know what he means by that. As a friend, in a hopeful way? As a friend, in a meaningful way? Or as a friend, in a way that could maybe, maybe, signal that he thinks, or wishes, that you mean... something else.

More.

These things are difficult to tell, when it comes to Jeonghan. Who wears his heart on his sleeve and yet also hides it away where no one can see.

“Yeah,” you say, after it has been far too long since he’d asked, but it’s clear that you were both waiting for your answer anyway. The word leaves you as a sigh, threadbare and thin. “As a friend.”

Jeonghan huffs a soft laugh. Maybe because he believes you, or maybe because he doesn’t. You’re not too sure.

“Okay,” he murmurs, pale as moonlight. “In which case, I love you too.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect @dokyeomkyeom @suraandsugar @haodore @tulsa24 @melodicrabbit

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hii i’m not sure if you’re taking requests or not but if you areeee

Can you write smth about Ford x reader where they obviously got a crush on each other (but they dont confess they’re shyly dumb) but the crush got bigger bc reader decides to peck Ford on the cheek as a “Thank you” bc he helped them with smth, yanno yanno :33

Ps: I really really love your writing waaa keep up the good work!!

The crush you harbour on Ford and him on you was the least subtle thing ever, everyone could see the way you looked at each other as though the other hung the stars in the sky; you were both smitten kittens but were too scared to admit it for one reason or another.

You didn’t know when exactly you started having a crush on Ford, you merely assumed that was always the case ever since you met the man with the beautiful brown eyes, and you were perfectly content with that but what you weren’t content with was how everyone wanted you to confess.

‘He doesn’t like me like that, I’m not sure he likes anyone within a romantic aspect.’ You’d use as your excuse whenever anyone brings up the fact that you had yet to bear your heart to Ford.

‘Then you haven’t seen the way he looks at you.’ They’d respond and you could only look at them as though they’ve grown a second head. However they spoke the truth as Ford was equally as infatuated with you and would find himself pushing back the work he didn’t think required all his attention, all in favour of spending time with you whether it be star gazing or anomaly hunting.

Ford couldn’t remember the last time he felt light on his feet, head in the clouds and as though he was thirty years younger then he actually was and it was all thanks to you. While he wants to confess he found himself unable to do so when he looked into your eyes and found everything he could ever wish for within them; only to end up speechless as your eyes flickered with multiple emotions at once as he remained stood still as a statue, staring at you with a fondness within his eyes as you spoke random things to fill the silence.

This half attempts to confess -or lack there of an attempt- was enough to annoy the people close to you both as Stanley wants to put his head through a wall, Dipper vowed to himself to never be this bad and Mabel was on the verge of screaming at you both to kiss and get it over with at this point; the slow burn was killing her with how hesitant or chocked up you both become in each others presence.

They just wanted you two to cut the bullshit and start being a couple, solely just to make up for the months they’ve all have to suffer from seeing you both obviously pine for one another.

So currently you and Ford were looking for a so called ‘flying pig that may or may not be waddles parent or ancestor’ as Mabel had said to you both that very morning. So when Ford asked dipper if this was true, you swore you’ve never seen a boy sweat as much as Dipper did when he tried his hardest to convince you both that such a creature exists within the woods; you and Ford shared a look that spoke your unwillingness to believe, before agreeing to go out and look for this flying pig that may or may not be waddles’s ancestor.

‘Even if this flying pig is waddles’s ancestor, wouldn’t waddles also have wings by that logic?’ You asked.

‘Not necessarily my dear as the wings could be a hereditary trait that can skip multiple generations and appear in someone later down the line.’ Ford replied as he pushed up his glasses that were slipping down his nose, ‘however even I have to admit that this flying pig phenomena being real is slim to none despite everything else we’ve encountered here.’ He adds and you couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Then the billboard should read as this: Gravity falls, we’ve got everything to satisfy a diehard supernatural fanatic, just no flying pigs.’ You said in a goofy voice as you playfully nudge Ford in the side as he smiled softly, looking at you and feeling his heart become full; but before he could say anything a demonic squeal echoed throughout the forest causing you both to stop just as the birds stopped chirping.

Ford instinctively stood in front of you protectively as you tried to deduct where the blood curdling squeal came from. ‘What was that?’ You whispered my resting your chin on Ford’s shoulder as he reached for the gun at his hip upon instinct.

‘No clue dearest but I believe we might’ve found our anomaly.’ Ford replied lowly for only you to hear, only for the sound of wings beating filled your ears as a plump silhouette of a winged creature could be seen from a distance. You couldn’t help stop yourself from commenting ‘that could be a thousand things before it could be a flying pig-‘ just before you could finish the sentence the plump silhouette must’ve spotted you as it started flying towards you both at high speed; it was downright frighting.

‘FLYING PIG!’ You screamed the moment the figure got close enough to identify as both yourself and Ford ran began to run away from it as fast as your legs could carry you. ‘And here I thought Mabel had eating too much of that edible glitter and hallucinated.’ You added as Ford quickly took your hand in his, intertwining your fingers as he pulled you with him to hide behind a random tree, pulling you in close to his chest where you could hear his heart against your ear.

The demonic flying pig flew past you and it was them did you notice how massive those wings were for a creature that was of the same size of an average adult pig, but still it was scary to see a pig with teeth as sharp as razors; what was even more scary was the fact that pigs would eat anything and everything. You cuddled up closer to Ford instinctively as he held you close in order to comfort you. ‘It’s okay my dear, it’s gone now.’ He whispered against your head, kissing it as his hands rubbed up and down your back. ‘It must’ve gotten mad that we were within its territory and felt the need to scare us off.’

‘Well consider this officially scared off.’ You muttered against his turtlenecks finding the honest comfort and protection within his scent as you allowed it to invade your senses.

‘We’ll go back home and forget that we were almost flying pig food and watch some movies while drinking hot chocolate. How does that sound my dear?’ Ford asked and before his brain could comprehend what had happened, you had kissed his cheek and Ford felt his cheeks blossom with heat and his eyes widened.

‘That sounds perfect as long as I’m with you to do all of that of course.’ You replied softly as you looked at Ford with a soft, almost pleading expression and Ford felt his resolve crumble to dust as he averts his gaze from you.

‘I would love nothing more my dear.’ He admits and you were quick to clutch his hand in yours and drag him from your hiding place and begin your walk back to the shack, all the while keeping your wits about you in regards to one flying demon pig. ‘Then it’s a date!’ You exclaimed as you could hear Ford choke on nothing behind you, which only made you smile.

You’ll tell Mabel that you didn’t see a flying pig, but got a date out of trying to make up for the disappointment.

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

CW: Rape, incest, CSA

This is actually not a strictly A Song of Ice and Fire post here, but it overlaps in some ways so I figured I'd write this.

Anyone who has not read the web serials Worm or Ward and wishes to avoid spoilers, don't read this post:

Disclaimer out of the way, I've found striking parallels between fandom reaction for both A Song of Ice and Fire and Parahumans regarding how characters who survived sexual abuse view their abusers, in a dangerously disturbing way.

For this I'm going to specifically be using the examples of Aeron and Theon Greyjoy from A Song of Ice and Fire to compare and contrast to Victoria Dallon in Ward. All three were psychologically and sexually tormented by their abusers during the course of the series. Theon is a young adult by the time Ramsay gets his hands on him, but Aeron and Victoria were both children when they were molested by family members so they will be the main two characters to compare.

In the case of Euron and Aeron, there are a (sadly very vocal) minority who are ready to dismiss Euron's danger to others by specifically using Aeron's abuse against him. Sure, Euron is evil and horrifically abused him and Urrigon when they were children, and it is understandable that Aeron would be mortified of Euron. After all, he tries to warn people about Euron repeatedly, only for his attempts to stop him to all fail.

The response by this section of the fandom to claims of Euron being built up as a major threat are essentially that Aeron's trauma is in the way of his ability to perceive Euron objectively. Is Euron actually as dangerous as Aeron claims? You can say the same for Theon and Ramsay. After all, Theon is half-mad warning Stannis about Ramsay, and Stannis is bringing some Rational Realness to the forefront by saying "what do I have to fear him for?"

Since GRRM is never releasing another A Song of Ice and Fire book it's hard to say what he intends but he could definitely intend for this to be the case. That said, there is a story featuring a similar character that is completed. Ward!

Victoria Dallon's sister, Amy, is a cape with healing abilities, though as the series progresses we know that healing is just the tip of the iceberg; she can change the biological makeup of living things. Amy is adopted, and has never felt any love from anyone other than Victoria. Amy develops deep romantic love for her sister, however, and then begins a series of bad decisions that just serve to deepen her already deep mental breakdown.

Amy proceeds to; alter Victoria's brain chemistry to give her compulsive romantic thoughts about her, then following healing Victoria after a battle, she spends several days alone with her, during which she repeatedly rapes her, erases her memories of said rapes, until her mental health deteriorates even further and she is unable to use her power properly and turns Victoria into the Wretch: a mass of flesh and limbs and heads, rather than anything actually human.

Then Victoria spends 2 years in a mental institution, stuck in a body she hates, all the while fighting the compulsions Amy left in place. When she finally returns Victoria to normal at the end of Worm, it is actually against her will and not because she had a change of heart or got more confident.

Then we get to Ward, where Victoria is the main POV. As is very obvious, Victoria is struggling with extremely intense PTSD, mentioning Amy is enough to trigger a dissociative flashback, and she wants absolutely nothing to do with her anymore: and fucking rightfully so.

Victoria also warns people about Amy. She warns her therapist to try to reach out to Amy before she hurts someone else, she warns literally anyone who will listen about Amy and what she might end up doing. We may not know what it is that Ramsay and Euron end up doing, but we do know what Amy does.

She refuses all help and doubles down on bad decisions, enslaves people with her powers, later imprisons and torments and touches Victoria again against her will, and becomes the dictatorial monster in charge of an entire planet. Victoria's warnings prove to be extremely prophetic and extremely real.

Now lets get into some discourse shall we?

Despite Amy being a rapist who rapes her sister, enslaves others via mind control, and literally never once improving as a person or acknowledging that her actions even caused harm, there are still those who think Amy isn't at fault. Some might find this post, but I don't really care. Amy is at fault for things Amy did. Victoria is not at fault for hugging her sister like a normal human being when Amy is upset, Amy didn't do her a favour healing her because then she just raped her and then really couldn't fix her back to a human body, and Amy isn't absolved of these sins because she healed a lot of people.

Essentially, Victoria is sometimes blamed for being raped by her sister, the rapist, despite Amy canonically being a manipulative lying liar rapist.

Okay so that doesn't seem to related to what the fandom says with Euron and Ramsay, right? After all, we don't really blame Aeron for being molested and Theon for also being sexually tortured and abused by Ramsay, do we? There are factors as to why that is (mostly that Aeron and Theon are men and Victoria is a woman; if you don't buy this argument look at people who say Cersei deserved to be sexually assaulted by Robert or try to use "the times" as an excuse to overlook Daenerys also being raped by Drogo) but there is an overlap here.

Amy being able to get away with that she did only to go on and hurt so many other people is a meta-commentary on the way survivors of sexual abuse are disbelieved or blamed for what happened to them. Naturally, those real like abusers end up going to abuse other people too. Fuck, even in the fandom, Victoria is still fucking blamed for things that she had absolutely no choice in the matter.

Which leads back to Theon and Aeron. Yes, trauma impacts the way you remember traumatic events, and that means objectivity can get lost at times. It can for Victoria and Theon and Aeron. But that trauma, the dissociation, memory problems, all of these together, are there for a reason. And that's because someone came along, ruined another persons life for their own pleasure and satisfaction, and then got away with it.

Victoria warned the world about what Amy would do, and she was unfortunately correct. Theon and Aeron warned others about Ramsay and Euron. Survivors should be believed, and not be dismissed. After all, it isn't our fault that we got abused. People may hear things about Euron or Amy or Ramsay, but the people who truly know who they are---what they are capable of, what they are actually like---are the people they abused.

So yeah, it's kinda fucking lame when I hear someone go "Stannis gonna prove Theon wrong with facts and logic" as if he doesn't, I don't know, have insight into Ramsay's psychology in ways Stannis doesn't. Same with Euron. Same with Amy.

Also fucking read Ward it hurts as intensely as it kicks ass.

[loves-77]

You Are My Honey

*TW* Yandere, obsessive tones, mates, Bear hybrid, NOT PROOFREAD (Tell me if you notice anymore)

THIS IS MY FIRST STORY I HAVE EVER WRITTEN SO IGNORE ANY MISTAKES, I AM STILL TRYING TO FIND MY PERFERED WRITING STYLE!

TELL ME IF YOU WANT A SMUT PART 2!!

*One part of my story is inspired by a scene in another story I read, don't remember the author*

*Not My Picture*

What had the world become? You sit alone on your couch in a small little apartment you could barely afford, for what? To get up in the morning go to your job at the floral shop and make a couple bucks a day?? All alone because you don't have time to invest in a romance that would probably end after a month, because who would want to be with a 'workaholic' who only has time to stay at their job. All your friends got some husband or boyfriend or...... mate.

The subject of 'mates' confused you, hybrids are just now being accepted into society and now are 'mating' on people. With how many hybrids are finding their mates the government is passing a law allowing them to be with said mates. The thought scared you, maybe because you didn't know enough about it. Imagine going about your normal day and some random person, with ears or a tail, starts talking about how you are destined to be together. Scary, or romantic??

Finally getting out of your daydreaming you look at the clock and realize you are gonna be late for work if you don't leave this second. Running out the door, almost forgetting your bag, you rush downstairs and run down the street. You lived pretty close to the floral shop so it was easy for you to get there fast. Barley making it on time your boss gives you a long list of orders you have to prepare. Your day has officially started..

*Time skip*

After work you make it back to the apartment, dropping your keys in your tray and making a bee line to the couch. Your phone rings and you realize your best friend was asking if you were free. Once you text them you are you start getting ready. They didn't give you a lot of details but told you to dress casual.

They text you to meet them outside your apartment in 30 min and they were gonna pick you up. Getting ready you finally make it down the stairs and wait outside for her. Seeing her car pull up and her getting out you both greet each other. "You are gonna love it" she said, "I got invited to some party on the nice side of town, supposedly there is going to be a lot of nice, respectable men there!!!" Winking at you she started the car and started driving. "You know I am not looking for anyone right now, no one is gonna wanna be with me when I can barely go out. I mean I got lucky today and my boss let me off early!" "You might find someone who doesn't mind.... Or someone who makes some money, so you don't have to work as much." Both of you start laughing.

Finally making it to the house you guys pull into the drive way and a bunch of people walking around, inside and outside. "Is the house made of just glass" you question. "I guess it is the new thing with rich people, let everyone see your business" You both get out of the car, after parking it, and walk toward the entrance. Suddenly the both of you tense, realizing there weren't just humans at this party. Now you both don't have a problem with hybrids going into public places or having the same rights you have, but never being near one before and seeing their sharp teeth or ears freaked you both out.

You were the first one to relax a little, realizing they were just there to have fun, like everyone else. "I didn't know they were gonna be here sorry" your friend apologized. "It's OK, they are here just like us, no problems." You both walk in together and browse around to see who and what exactly was here.

A loud booming voice can be heard across the room. Everyone's heads turn towards the owner of the voice. You freeze in fear, or maybe just shock, you aren't quite sure. But you know for sure that the owner of that voice is not someone you want to cross paths with ever again.

He was ginormous with arms that could pick you up and throw you a mile away.... maybe even more than that. His shaggy honey brown hair draped around his face almost majestically. He smiled and you noticed his canines are pointier that anyone you have ever seen before.... wait, wait, wait. You could hit yourself for not noticing the round brown ears on the top of his head. That is why he is so much bigger than everyone in the room.... he is a grizzly bear hybrid.

You look to your friend in panic and notice she had the same look on her face. Grizzly bear hybrids are rare and tend to be more aggressive than other predator hybrids. You have never seen one before in person, you considered yourself lucky until now.

Finally zoning back in from your panic you realize that some non-hybrids share the same look as you and your friend do. Looking back over to the owner of the voice you catch his stare. Freezing up once again you can't look away from those... black eyes? or maybe they are a dark brown, you can't tell from the distance. Snapping out of your shock you realize he stops to... sniff.... no he can't be sniffing the air... can he?

Then realization hits you when he starts heading your way. You heard that hybrids could smell who their mate is, but it couldn't be. You can't possibly be his mate. Panic sets in again and you couldn't tell if you were overreacting, it couldn't be you he was heading towards. But still, you grab your friend's arm and bolt away before he could get close enough to start a conversation.

"What- Where are we going??" Your friend asks "We need to leave right no-" "WAIT, YOU IN THE (F/C) SHIRT!!" You could have sworn the ground shook with how loud his voice was. You don't freeze, now that you know for sure he was looking for you. "Is that-" You cut your friend off "We need to leave." She doesn't hesitate to grab her car keys from her pocket and catch up with your fast steps.

Looking behind you see the hybrid trying to make his way through the crowd. "WAIT, WAIT!!" He sounded so desperate, you almost felt bad if you still didn't feel the pit in your stomach. Looking ahead of you again, you both make it to the front door, storming out of the house and to the car. While your friend was starting it you both hear the front door slam open, turning your head to the side you see the hybrid rushing out. Your friend gets the car started and hits the gas to go forward. Looking back, you see him chasing the car with.... were those tears in his eyes? No, it couldn't be, he didn't even know you. Finally relaxing in your chair, you lay back and look at your friend and say, "I don't think I am going to go to a party with you for a while." Making eye contact you both start giggling. "I understand completely" she says in between her giggling.

*Time Skip*

You wake up with a raging headache, barley remembering what happened yesterday you groan and sit up. Then you pause as you remember who you saw and ran away from yesterday. A chill goes down your spine and you remember his smile with those pointed teeth. But you snap yourself out of it and say, "He didn't do anything wrong; I shouldn't be scared for no reason." But you can't shake the feeling of fear you felt when you saw him.

Getting out of bed you get ready for work, which you are supposed to be there in an hour. Changing into a cute shirt and jeans you make yourself your (Favorite breakfast). Once you finish your food, you grab your keys and head for the door. Getting in your car you start heading over to the floral shop. Entering the store was a whole dream, all the beautiful flowers and the addicting smells you can't help but smile. Making it to the back your boss greets you and gives you the orders to start the day.

A couple hours later you hear the door open and close, looking up to greet the customer you freeze. "Welc-...." Standing before you was the (at least 6'3) huge hybrid from yesterday. "I have been looking all over for you! Since you left so abruptly yesterday, I tracked down your scent and found you here! I was going to go to your apartment, but I thought that might have been too far." The smile on his face not disappearing, even after you didn't respond and just stared at him.

"You found me by my..... scent??" The sheer surprise you had confused him, his eyebrows furrowing. "Well of course honey, how else would I find you?" ..... Honey?!?!? Why is he calling you that?? Shaking the shock off you respond "Excuse me? I don't know you sir and I don't appreciate being called honey." If it could even be possible his eyebrows furrowed even more, before it looked like he realized something. "Oh dear! I forgot to introduce myself!! My names is Caleb, and I realize this might seem weird for you but... how do I word this.... well you are my mate!" The smile on his face grew 10 times when he said 'mate'

Chills rushed down your spine, and not the good kind. "Did you just say mates? No that can't be, I am sorry, but you have the wrong person." You almost felt bad as his face dropped, but you reminded yourself he basically stalked you to work! "But -" You cut him off, "I am really sorry and I wish you the best of luck finding who you are looking for." Tears started welling in his eyes.

"(Y/N)!" Turning around you see your boss, "Yes, sir?" "Come here right now!" Looking back at Caleb you quickly turn and rush to the backroom. "Wha-" You were cut off, "You need to leave, and take the b-bear with you!" "What si-" "LEAVE! You are gonna make business go down, so take him with you!" "Bu-" You were being shoved out of the room towards a very hopeful looking bear.

"You kids have fun!" Turning around the store door was closed in your face. Turning around to look at Caleb, you turn and start walking towards your car, keeping silent. "Wait!" Your arm was yanked backwards. "LET GO!" "No." He growled with a snarl on his face. "You are going to come with me so we can talk. Don't argue because you aren't going anywhere." Shutting your mouth, you start to walk with him, not wanting to be on his bad side. But you can't stop the small tingle you feel in the spot he touched.

He led you to a black car, opened the door, and gently pushed you inside. Once he got in, he started the car and got on the road. "Where are we going?" you managed to get out in a calm voice. Smiling over at you he replied, "Home of course." You had the feeling that it wasn't your house he was talking about.

*Time Skip*

It seemed like you had been in his car for hours, but it was just 30 minutes. Glancing over at him he seemed very content with a light smile on his face. You realize this might be because he finally has what he has waited his whole life for, his mate. Thinking back, you feel bad you just ran away from him and didn't even give him a chance to talk. Looking at his face you think he is very handsome, and you are surprised you didn't notice before. His jawline sharp, light freckles dusting his face, his shapely nose, and he had longer lashes then you did. "I hope you are pleased with how I look." His deep voice scared you out of your daze. Quickly looking away from you stare at the road ahead of you. Out of the corner of your eye you see him look towards you and say "You are so beautiful. So much better than what I imagined my mate to look like." You felt your cheeks heat up as you take a quick glance at him, luckily, he was looking back at the road.

Now going through an internal debate, you realize you don't feel scared anymore. It was almost like your body was relaxing after being with him and not fighting it. Trying to fight off the feelings you can't help but look over at him and say "Why am I feeling like this?" He glanced at you before turning his eyes back on the road. Looking concerned he said "Feeling like what? Are you feeling ill?" Sighing you say "No I don't feel sick but why do I feel comfortable with you? You basically just kidnapped me." You see a small smile making its way on his face, "It is because we are mates, you don't feel it as intensely as I do, since I have better senses than a normal human. But we were destined to be together it's only natural your body is reacting to my pheromones while your brain might be denying it." He suddenly reached a hand over and grabbed your hand. Tingles exploded everywhere just from that touch. You didn't move your hand away, even though you probably should have. Staring at your intertwined hands you couldn't help it, it just felt.... right.

Not even paying attention to the time anymore it takes you a quick second to realize the car stopped. Looking up you make eye contact with Caled. The smile on his face was so sweet you practically felt yourself melting, those dang pheromones. He turned and got out of the car, gently dropping your hand. You can't help but want to hold his hand again, even after everything. He opened the door for you, gently taking your hand again as you got out. As he went to pull his hand back you held on, refusing to let you go. You could see a big smile formed on his face as he looked at your hands.

Looking up you realize how far you must be from the city; you look at the beautiful cabin house, the log details, and the wrap around porch. The forest surrounding you was just as beautiful. Looking to the side of the house there is a small gravel pathway leading into the forest.

"Welcome to my home, well I guess it's ours now."

Looking at him, the sentence and you lightly pull your hand away from his. There is no way you are going to move in with him after just meeting him.... mates or not. A big frown formed on his face when you pulled away and hurt flashed in his eyes.

"I am not moving in with you. We just met! I don't appreciate being pushed into things. I know nothing about you, and you don't know anything about me."

Stepping back from him just a little. You see a change in his eyes, anger, or frustration? You are not completely sure.

Completely ignoring what you said before he continues on.

"My grandparents built this cabin when hybrids were still outcasts. Then it passed to my parents and now me. My parents built their own house further into the forest and decided I could have this house for my mate when I found her. No one knows about it."

Something flashed in his eyes when he said the last sentence. A chill ran down your spine and not a good one. You didn't like the implication of that at all. Your instincts were screaming to run and you couldn't fight your instincts. Not even giving your brain a chance to think, you bolted.

Running straight into the forest you curse yourself for not wearing running shoes to work today. You heard Caleb behind you shouting something, he sounded desperate and wounded. He sounded far enough away you know you surprised him by running. But you knew he would catch up to you eventually and you could hit yourself for not thinking about it before just bolting. There was a pain that you felt in your chest, but your adrenaline stopped the pain. You jumped over rocks and logs not wanting to slow down or trip. You could hear behind you Caleb was gaining on you and fast. Your legs burning you suddenly change routes. You hear a loud curse behind you and knew you shook him off your tail for just a second. That small victory didn't last long as the back of your shirt was yanked. Your back hitting a soft but solid chest.

You were absolutely winded while it seemed like he didn't even break a sweat. Looking at his face you shrink into yourself seeing a furious look. He had a snarl on his face and his eyebrows were furrowed together. You can't help but whimper slightly and you see sadness flash in his eyes just for a second before going back to anger.

"Where do you think you are going." He growled and you couldn't help but flinch at his tone.

"I was being nice and showing you my home, the one you are going to live in with me. I was going be nice and give you a week to stay at your house before moving in but after that stunt you pulled aren't ever going back."

"I'm sorry!" you practically cry out, shaking with fear. Turning around and grappling onto him, crying into his chest.

You couldn't explain it but the moment you ran it felt like your heart got torn out. But now, next to Caleb, the pain stopped.

"Why do I feel like this?!?!" Tears streaming down your face.

"Why do I want to be next to you so bad? Why did it hurt when I ran away!?"

You feel his muscular arms wrap around you and start rubbing your back. He started cooing and telling you it was ok, and he would explain later. His anger completely dissolving as he realized you felt the same pain he felt when you ran. Like someone just stabbed his heart out. Feeling yourself get picked up, you wrap your legs around his waist, stuffing your face in his neck, and wrapping your arms around the back of his head. You felt yourself calm almost instantly after putting your head in his neck. But the tears didn't stop even if you felt better.

"Let's get you back home, then we can clean up and eat something." He spoke so softly you almost wouldn't believe the anger he held in his voice not even 10 minutes ago.

Relaxing into his body you think to yourself, maybe it wouldn't be to bad if you just stayed with him.

[sarahreesbrennan]

Avoiding my email as at this point I fear there are bears in there…

Received a very interesting question but it is also very spoilery, so. Beware Long Live Evil spoilers!

There are many versions of Time of Iron, for many people have entered the story, and you cannot exist in the story without changing it. Keeping the different versions in your head isn’t as complicated as you would think. It’s like having the different POVs for every character in your head, for any scene, so you know why characters act the way they do.

For instance in the scene where the Cobra and Key first meet we see what Marius is thinking. But it’s a very different scene from the other two POVs.

ERIC: Night in with the bestie. He’s sad and that is sad but not unusual, Rahela is narratively doomed so nothing to be done, so excited to have met Lia and so hoping to avoid the Emperor, uneasily aware the story is coming for us but mostly thinking about my writing…

ERIC: OH NO NO NO! OH MY GOD THE EMPEROR IS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW COVERED! IN! BLOOD! ERIC: And now Marius wants to fight him! I must prevent this. ERIC: suddenly this is the most stressful night of my life.

Many more stressful nights to come…

Whereas for Key it’s a pretty nice night.

KEY: Time to kill that guy from earlier, yay. KEY: Wait new handsome man wishes to give me money? Yay. Court is fun it turns out, aristocrats shower you in cash and other people clean up after your murders. Very luxurious. KEY: I guess I’ll kill that guy another time. 😌🔪

Sadly for Key, few such nice nights to follow.

… Except for different versions of the book, you have to think about what would have happened differently, as well as different thoughts. Who would you be, if that one thing hadn’t happened? Marius’ POV chapter titles are about the Cobra, because he’s what happened to change the course of the narrative.

In Eric’s version, Marius had survived up to where Eric had read, though that doesn’t necessarily mean he would survive until the end - the series is unfinished.

In Eric’s version, Marius had a different part, I wouldn’t necessarily say bigger. We would see more of him from Lia and Octavian’s POVs, and everyone is different through different eyes.

Without the Cobra, Octavian and Marius would have been much closer. This complicates Marius’s later relationship with Key. This also complicates the relationship with Lia which we know in that version is explicitly romantic, with a kiss.

Eric will tell Marius more about his version, but Eric’s now very aware of how much the story will and can change. He and Rae have different pieces of a puzzle, and they’re not even sure if it’s the same puzzle at this point.

And Eric doesn’t even know how his own murder happened. Only that it did.

[vevobly]

Being Natalie Scatorccio Girlfriend Headcanons (Pre-Crash) [Part 1]

A/N: This is technically my first headcanons post. But I ended up posting Jackie's first then Misty's, so yeah! Heads up for sensitive topics such as addiction, smoking, and implied/referenced terrible home.

Since Nat comes from a rough home life and doesn't exactly have the best reputation at school, your relationship is probably being kept on the down low. It's not because Nat might be ashamed of you or anything like that; she just doesn't want to drag you down with her. She already gets a lot of unwanted attention and judgment from others. She doesn't want more—especially if it affects you too.

She isn't big on public displays of affection. But you CAN catch her giving you these small, meaningful gestures! A light touch on the arm, a passing glance, or, if you smoke, she'll quietly give you a cigarette when no one's looking.

Nat doesn't open up easily. But with you? As cheesy as it might be, it's different. You're one of the very few people she can be vulnerable with when life decides to shit on her. She doesn't tell you everything, but it's fine. You understand, and you aren't going to push her to do so (unless something warrants it).

She'll call you up late at night just to talk about whatever. Sometimes she crashes at your place to avoid the bullshit she deals with at home, sleeping more soundly in your bed than anywhere else. When you bring that up, she'll either respond with something witty or sappy. And you? You'll like whatever she chooses to tell you instead of the other.

Dating Nat means late night drives in her beat up car with no clear destination! She loves going where the road takes you two, and you're always down to ride shotgun with her.

With this in mind, you two occasionally sneak off to places that are abandoned. Why? For privacy and peace, of course! Oh, and because those locations usually have great views. You can bet your ass that Nat has taken you to loads of romantic places (though she would argue that they're plain) already, talking about how shitty Wiskayok is and how you guys could escape it one day together. Neither of you are sure of anything, but it is nice to dream about, right?

Nat is VERY loyal to you. She might not say it, but she shows it by defending you in her own subtle (some of the yellowjackets would disagree with that—I think you already know who) way when people at school talk behind your back.

Of course, being Nat's girlfriend grants you the special privilege of seeing a side of her that others don't. Which is her being surprisingly sweet when it's just the two of you. She’ll let you pick the music when she's driving (even if she grumbles about your taste) and surprise you with small gifts like mixtapes or a pack of your favorite candy.

Nat's not the most affectionate, but when she is, she turns into this huge sap. Point that one out and she'll deny it vehemently. Either rolling her eyes or crossing her arms to her chest before insisting you're the one being a massive sap. Touché, you'll tell her, and then she'll start laughing; saying you're her sap.

Being together with Nat means you've got to deal with rumors about her at school from time to time. You hate it but what can you do? People will talk whatever about her whenever. While it certainly made you pissed that people do that to her, you've learned to just ignore what they say about her. You know her. You know Nat. And she is way different from how people see her. While she appreciates you defending her, she doesn't need you to. She's not a charit

When things get bad, she'll seek you out. Sometimes she'll show up at your door in the middle of the night, simply saying "I needed to see you." and you'll let her stay. Your place is always welcome for her.

Believe it or not, you're the first person Natalie tells about her frustations (usually the team or her dad). Annnnd, even though she might try to brush off her feelings; you know how to read her and help her without pushing too hard. Still, it makes her feel like a damn--

You know about her addiction. And while you always make sure she's okay, that just isn't enough. So you give her space, let her know that you will be there for her no matter what (but will you though? your relationship is just a faulty boat that's been leaking from the very start. No matter how many times you try to bail the water out, it will sink. It was just destined to). You'll always love her. You'll always love Natalie.

When she's spiraling, you'll be the one to bring her back. Nothing big has to be done, neither of you guys could care about those. Just a quiet word, a reassuring look, or being there is enough. She loves you, she really does. But how the fuck do you love her? She's a mess, and being with her brings you absolutely nothing. why. Why. WHy. WHY. WHY DO YOU LOVE HER OF AL--

If you smoke: Nat loves sharing cigarettes with you. It's almost like a ritual. You or Natalie light one up, pass it back and forth with each other while talking. You'll both sneak out sometimes during school breaks, find a secluded spot to talk and smoke freely there from everyone else.

If you don't smoke: it'll still happen. The difference is that Nat will just be the only one smoking while you'll just watch her take a drag maybe and talk with her. It's a bummer you don't smoke but Nat will take whatever company you can give her whenever.

[of-gods-and-lesbians]

That moment when you have the sudden epiphany to take the characters of your book, who represented the concept of romantic love and unconditional love and decide to put them into a QPR instead of a romantic relationship because you just realized the second of those characters is not only your self insert but also most definitely Aromantic.

And suddenly you like the story so much more. And you feel even deeper for the story. And the whole concept of it fits so much better.

[littlelightfish]

I will scream at every non-romantic post I see about these guys. Writers be not afraid. I will love their non-romance fics. I'll blow up your coment section all alone if I have to. I will find you. Artists be not afraid. I will reach tag limit on your artpiece. If I see it at least. And if I don't, I will eventually. Or I'll try. Or @me so I won't fail you.

[sunbloomdew]

slight to the moon & finding paradise spoilers AND impostor factory spoilers lolol

so i read a very old review of "to the moon" sometime ago and the author called eva a romantic at heart and neil the 'too cool, doesn't care about romance' guy, and like... what??

eva who suggested john and river's marriage was a mistake, who said "he can always find another 'river' but he will only have one brother", who declines neil's romantic advances, who is very clearly disinterested at taima's attempts to matchmake her, who in response to neil's attempts to bet on colin's problem says "it's not always about some girl, neil", who focuses on her career and family and hobbies and doesn't mind not having a romantic partner?

neil who on the other hand teared up during the memory of john and river's wedding (and tried to hide it, poorly), who disagreed with the idea of removing river because "we don't know what jhonny wants but we know what he doesn't want", who at eva's confusion with sofia's attitude towards them remarked that "well, if she is the patient's wife then she has a dying spouse", who insisted colin was romantically interested in faye, whose ideal reality has him and eva getting married????

my guy.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

trying to finish reading dungeon meshi now that it's done and just seeing everyone in the comments talking about ships. gun to my head

[paragonrobits]

Shut Out

(It was something Marceline yelled at herself a lot about, later. Something she'd remember for a long, long time, even after Finn passed on and didn't come back, when the world moved on and forgot him, and after Simon was gone, and after there was so little holding them together that she was gone from Bonnie's life, for a while, and it was this:

When Finn spiraled, he spiraled inward. From the outside, it looked fine. But from the outside, you didn't hear anything about it just like the time he almost ate the food of the Fruit Witches on purpose, or the tower he built into space and almost didn't come back, or all the other times he very quietly and serenely did... something extreme.

It would be nice, she thought, to say she never felt like she screwed it up and wasn't there for him when he needed it, like he always was for her. It would be nice to say so. It just wouldn't be true, inside her heart.)

-----

From the outside, people said later, Finn didn't abruptly stop talking to everyone. He just slowly started slipping away.

A gradual process. He talked less and less to people. He didn't ask around for interesting puzzles or dungeons to delve, or asked around for monsters to fight, he just went and did it.

Marceline and Bonnie both heard less and less from him. He was an increasingly rare presence, he wasn't on the phone as much, he didn't show up at the places he used to hang out with them, movie night didn't happen...

(Marceline didn't know the particulars then. She just knew something was wrong, but she dismissed it.)

Finn spent a long time, thinking about it, when the coughing fits started to get worse. Jake was gone, by then. It didn't feel the same anymore. He started thinking a lot about cessation, and inevitability.

(Marceline found out later.)

He thought: "Will Bonnie and Marceline be sad when I'm gone? Will they care?"

There's a follow-up thought. It's sharp and bitter and the sort of thing you think after too long spiraling inward, too much time spent blaming yourself, and too much time spent smiling around them while thinking a lot about how ugly you are compared to them; how unwholesome, how brutish and rough and just out of place.

You start thinking maybe they're just humoring you. The goofy kid that solved all their problems and was probably more invested in... whatever this relationship was, then they ever wore. You start thinking a lot about how horrible the word 'humoring' starts to look.

(Marceline spent a good, long while upset about it.)

You think: No.

You think: Why would they?

Sometimes you think loud and angry about it, in bitter and painful thoughts that you'll never say to them so it comes out twisted and bloody. Its stuff that's had years to percolate and bubble up, that you never said to them and just kept privately wondering why they bothered with something that didn't belong anywhere anymore.

(Later, Marceline wonders if it would have been enough to just SAY how important he was; how important he had always been. That just about everything good in her life was because she'd met him all those years ago, and decided to hang out with him. Simon coming back into her life, her and Bonnie talking again, her finding peace with her mother's memory thanks to BMO... all of it was, in some way, because of him.

It didn't make her feel better, though.)

And sometimes it just leaves you in a tired whisper, and when the coughing starts, and you see the blood on your hands, and you know what the cost of having fought the Lich is, and you decide: maybe its easier this way.

He lies to himself and says they'll forget him fast, if they even care that much.

He knew better, deep down. But it was harder to see that.

-----

And its later, honestly not that much later but feeling too long to her, when she comes floating down to the places where someone matching his description has been hanging out, and her hand bangs against the door, so hard the windows shake. She could just break her way in, but somehow she's scared to just do that, like it will break some kind of spell and make everything come falling apart.

She just bangs her fist on the door, almost hard enough to smash it right off the hinges.

"Come on! I know you're in there!"

Bang-bang-bang.

She's not exactly yelling yet, but her voice is taking that slightly hoarse quality that feels worse; like seeing the cracks in glass before it actually explodes all over your face, or feeling the fractures in your bones from too much stress for too long about to make your whole body cave in from that final tiny bit of Too Much-ness.

"Finn! Please! It's me! You know its me!"

Bang, bang-bang. It's almost thundering now.

"Open the glob-damned door and TALK to me already!"

It's almost a scream.

And now, the next time she speaks, its after a soft noise. It might be something like crying. It might also be the noise a door makes when someone places their head against it, past the point where desperation is winning so hard there's nothing to do but feel the cold hopelessness slide its way through you.

Marceline Abadeer has been through a lot. She has seen centuries come and go; she saw the last great civilization disappear overnight, and she's seen too many kingdoms grow and wither away so fast that it was hardly worth acknowledging them at all.

And she's seen friends come and go; ashes on the wind.

'This is your fault' is in the back of her mind, no matter how much she knows that's not really fair to herself.

Somehow, this feels so much worse.

When she talks next, her voice is ragged, and her hands shake. She has slain tyrants and monsters, she has survived the impossible without blinking, and she has been the fixed presence around which the world turns onward. And now she feels like a child again, alone and lost and hurting.

Again and again, she thinks of people that she thought could have been her family, only for her to drive them away somehow, on purpose or not. Everything stays.

"Dude. Don't shut me out. Don't do this." And then, she almost can't say anything at all, a horrible miserable croak making the word come out small. "Please."

There's no response.

Again, she gently puts her head against the doorway.

An unfamiliar voice from behind her says, "You know the weird human thing?"

Marceline turns; too quickly to make it casual. Hope and fear and a bit of outrage at whoever THIS was intruding on the moment all cling together. She stifles it all down, puts on a serious face.

She wonders who this person is; it looks like a small stone, with tiny arms and legs. It's not anyone familiar, but she's too scared to think straight and just says, "Yeah? Who're you?"

The stone person shrugs. "I'm just a rock. Came to life about seven years back during some thing with wizard and meteors. Think I saw the blonde guy then. You know him?"

She doesn't bother thinking about the time frame of if she knew anything Finn had been doing at the time; not important. "Yes. Where is he?"

The stone person blinks. It's a surprisingly emotive response. There's sadness and helplessness and even a small bit of 'good now someone ELSE can deal with it' that makes her want to bite. The stone person says, "It's a long story," they say. "I'll show you out back."

-----

Marceline had seen the grave when she'd flown in. She hadn't paid much attention to it, with other things on her mind, and perhaps she didn't want to think about it. She can't think about it now. As soon as she saw it, and the stone person leading her towards it, everything shut down.

Everything went gray. A cold and numbing incomprehension oozed in, and she moved like she was on automatic.

"You see that kind of sickness now and then," the stone person says. "The walking death, some people call it. You get it worse when you get near the places the, uh. the Lich King used to have," and they trail off. The Lich has been gone for a long time, and still people don't like talking about it, or the places it's been.

Marceline is not thinking about it right now. She is not thinking about anything. There's just awful dread all around.

The stone person continues. "I don't really know who he was. He just showed up here a few months back, before I came here, and I guess he was a roommate or something." Marceline silently does the math and works it out; after Finn had talked less and less to them, like he was... ashamed of something. And some part of her keeps looking at the times they did talk; she's asking herself 'Was there something I could have done?'

She doesn't know.

"You cough," the stone person says. "You get weaker and weaker, like... the sickness eats something in you. And you start-"

"Coughing blood," Marceline says tiredly. She remembers a phone conversation with Finn, before he had completely dropped off the map. She remembers the coughing.

'Could I have gotten him, if I'd tried?'

She doesn't know.

The stone person glances at her. Marceline remembers her mother, and thinks about Finn. The same sickness. Somehow, she's not surprised. Her life is a closed circle, and the people she drives away without meaning to go out of her life the same way. "Yeah," the stone person says.

They start talking more, and Marceline isn't really listening. She's reacting, yes; she is speaking and responding to the lines she feels she is supposed to, but inside, she isn't thinking anything at all.

Some part of her, the greater Marceline, is peering out and going through all the times she was around Finn before he went off the map, and studying it for signs. For moments she should have noticed, that she WOULD have noticed if she'd cared, or if she was worth a damn, or if she even really DID care about him as much as she thought and, and it is too much.

She wants to scream. She wants to dissolve her body in a stew of nightmares, she wants to rip off her skin and run to the farthest places of the world with her monstrosity exposed for all to see, and she just keeps thinking monster recited over and over, a magic spell announcing what she's done to the whole world.

Huntress Wizard didn't notice it; Bubblegum didn't, not Flame King or any of the other people who could have, and somehow Marceline feels that her not seeing it makes it worse.

Her fingers slip. The umbrella falls down.

She barely notices. The sight of the unmarked grave, forgotten by the world, hurts a lot worse than the sun.

------

She talks to the others about it. That makes it better, in some small way; the world doesn't notice or care, but she can carry the news to everyone and see if that makes a difference. It does. There are tears, and there is mostly a stunned disbelief.

Somehow, Huntress Wizard hurts a lot more than some of the others. Flame King is calm, and you would have to notice the flames around the court of the flame people erupting to see what she was really thinking; she's not sure Lumpy Space Princess entirely gets what's happened, since she just keeps insisting Finn was in hiding somewhere, pulling some kind of a plot. "You'll see, he'll be back any day with some grody thing on his belt." Marceline doesn't say anything, just leaves. But Huntress Wizard's face remains calm, and composed; its a mask, Marceline knows.

She sees a flicker of expression, and when Huntress Wizard gravely thanks her, it says much that Huntress Wizard, normally so composed and so completely in control of herself, has to sit down.

Simon looks lost. He politely says 'No,' as if he can just deny it. There is a lot more to it. She doesn't really remember much. She remembers a feeling like a dam inside herself started breaking more and more as they spoke, and then it all came smashing apart, and there's just words, and hurt, and it was her fault and she did this and-

And he is just there, he sits there, and only around him does she let it all out. Later, she remembers the terrified incomprehension on his face, the denial, and it reminds her so much of when he had started losing himself to the crown that it hurts in too many ways to fit inside her heart right now.

-------

Bubblegum is technically the first she tells.

She first tells her, before anyone else, over the phone. And she is struck by how Bubblegum takes a long, long time to reply, and it is a very quiet "Thank you for letting me know," and the call cutting off which such violence that it punches through the gray misery. She finds out later that they had to fix the official Candy Kingdom phone, and works out clues from there.

Bubblegum cares. She was the first one of them to meet Finn, to care about him, to tie him to the world. She was always first for him, one way or another, and some part of Marceline thinks that Bonnie should have been the one to bury him. Whether its true or not, she has an image of him as a young boy being carried into the threshold of Ooo by her; as a young man, it should have been her leading his body out of Ooo.

And Bubblegum calls her down, and Marceline knows something with her is... wrong.

Her eyes are twitching. Her glasses are askew. Her hair, usually a shiny mass of bright pink, is dulled and somehow twitching here and there; she doesn't look right, with filth and grease and the faintly acrid smell of substances unknown to human scientific knowledge. She twitches a little more whenever she moves, and when she directly looks at Marceline, there is a terrible feeling in her.

Marceline knows desperation, and grief, and something that might be called madness. Bubblegum's eyes suggest things Marceline doesn't want to think about, desperate and clinging to a horrible possibility.

"We don't have much time," Bubblegum says. "We need to do this now, before any more decay sets in."

Marceline knows what she means, somehow. Shock cuts through the apathy she falls into with grief, and she says, "Do what?"

Bubblegum tells her. And she indicates a shovel.

"Hurry up, if you want to help," she says.

-----

The following night, they go to the place Finn had been crashing at, and where he had wasted away, letting himself be forgotten. Simon is there with them, and from the glances he shares with Bubblegum, Marceline wonders: did they talk about this in private? Where they planning something?

Did they start this as soon as Bubblegum heard?

The three of them have shovels. The three of them have a willingness to do what must be done.

She doesn't think it'll work. But she has to hope.

They leave that night. The work goes quickly with three of them, and Marceline all but rips the ground apart for all of them.

They leave an emptied grave.

-------

Afterwards, they don't talk much about what they did. Either the grave robbing, or what happens later.

There are bargains to be made. There are acts of genius too horrible and frightening to consider, and yet it's so easy for Simon and Bubblegum, and Marceline has to wonder how long they were planning for something like this.

"I've done something like this before," Bubblegum says as the procedure happens, taking its time to... do its work. Simon is there, watching it happen with a morbid solemnity that is somehow worse than anything else. Some part of her sees a shadow of the Ice King in it; not the madness or forgetting himself, but the willingness to do something she'd rather not admit he could do. "It's different with candy people. The mind plays a process; it's really like just waking them up?"

"And a human mind?" Marceline says. She hasn't spoken much. She remembers moving around in a daze, as though she were the dead one instead.

Bubblegum is quiet. The only noise is her machines working, of strange fluids sluicing through pipes, chemicals being electrified, and a portal to somewhere else opening up.

"I don't know," Bubblegum says, carefully, like someone trying not to scream.

"The soul has to want to come back," Simon says. His voice is quiet and tired.

All three of them are quiet for a long time.

They stare at the revivification machine. Lights flash, fluid gushes into a central chamber large enough to hold a single human form (a very large one, admittedly), and arcane energies Marceline doesn't want to understand reach out to some other world.

Atop of this, like a lightning rod, is a capsule containing a badly woven, threadbare pink sweater.

Marceline wishes she had something more tangible to give Finn a road home besides feelings and wishes and the desperate longing to tell him how much he means to her.

-------

None of them really talk that much about what happens at the end.

"I had to fight to bring it the rest of the way," Marceline says, when she is asked. She does not tell who she fought, or where, or why it had to be done. Her eyes are distant and tired, and its too exhausting to explain the how's.

Simon had arcane knowledge. Bubblegum had scientific understanding, and the two of them built something impossible, beyond the scope of her original de-corpsinator serum. Marceline had something else: authority.

Whatever price there was to pay, or that she made some thing out in the world do, she would pay it without hesitation.

And in the depths of the aether, at the very boundary of life and death, so close to a point of no return she couldn't dare have hope it would work out-

Doing the one thing she had to offer, to fix this, to save him-

(Marceline reaches across, holding up love and memory and all the things she wanted to say shining like a spotlight into the Dead Worlds.

There is a long moment of silence; too long, and too late.

And then.

And then a single hand, shaped by memory and stubborn self-image into a human arm, clasps her hand as she pulls him back in.)

And so Finn the human took his second breath.

-------

There was a lot, after that. Too much for her to remember as much more than a distant blur.

Lumpy Space Princess bragged about to everyone; that she had seen it coming, that she knew it was all a big scheme by Finn to fool some bad guy or another and boom he'd GOT THEM. Probably.

There were words, between her and Finn and Bubblegum, and some just between him and Simon, and a lot between himself and Bubblegum.

She doesn't know exactly what, between them all. There is something intimate and close and raw between himself and Bonnibel Bubblegum. It's friendship, yes. It's love, too, but its hard to say if it is romantic or not, or if putting a term to it would cheapen something that's too hard for either of them to spell out. But it feels private, and Marceline does not intrude.

She is there, all the same, when he meets again with Flame King, and the other people close to his heart in one way or another. There is relief, and there's anger, too. Sometimes people get enraged when the finality of death winds up not being a factor; lashing out is a part of that. But they still have time to make amends afterwards, once the anger is gone.

Marceline is not there for the things Huntress Wizard says to him. She leads him to Huntress Wizard, and departs, but she remembers the look Huntress Wizard gives her; grateful, not quite believing this was happening.

It said 'Whatever you did; what cost you paid. Thank you."

(Afterwards, she is not so shy with her feelings, or so unwilling to be honest about them. It is sad, that it can take a lot to say so, but such is the nature of love.)

And then, there is what happens between Marceline and Finn.

She and him, yes.

(She hugs him, afterwards. "I'm sorry," she says, over and over. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

She isn't sure what for, exactly. Just a generalized wave of sorrow and grief and relief, all mashed together and spilling out. She remembers crying.

She remembers the look on his face. She remembers the sound of him crying, too, and for a moment she felt as if they were a pair of children, alone on the world, scared and hurt and alone and making their own ways to live.

Everything stays. Perhaps it's not so bad, every time.

"I'm sorry," he tells her, and he has many words for what exactly; for not saying anything, for thinking they didn't care, for letting himself get beat down by the Lich's curse, for all the things he wanted to say but didn't or couldn't because he didn't have the words for it.

It shouldn't be real, she tells herself. Monsters like her do not get a do-over.

He hugs her, and it is real. He is there, alive again, his arm still gone despite the regenerative process, and that somehow feels like it makes it all feel more real. One arm solidly built and warm, the other smaller and colder metal.)

------

And so, time moves on, and they can almost forget that this happened.

Finn died. And now he wasn't. It was easier to pretend he never had.

But they remembered. And the inevitability of the future weighed down on them.

They spoke often, after that. Finn about his feelings; about feeling that he was... too awkward to be around them. That they were just better than him, that for so long ever since he'd been a kid he'd felt like they were humoring him, or when he was really upset and thought he was just a joke to them, or a tool that wasn't fun anymore.

Bubblegum sits there. She stares silently at the ground, and at the sky, and the weight of years moves. Memories of pajama parties and being like the child she never had the chance to be and always feeling happiest and freest around him dance on her memory, and in his.

Softly, she says, "Do you still feel that way?"

He looks down, and again, he says it: "I'm sorry."

"If something happens to you, if you start hurting, or think that you're a bother or that I don't care, that we don't care-" Bubblegum stiffens up, the weight of the things she wanted to say too much for her, and her face freezes up in an awful cluster of grief and anger and shame for everything she wanted to say, but couldn't until it was too late.

It wasn't too late anymore. She had brought him back; they had brought him back. But even so, she still trembled in the shadow of that grief.

"Please," she says. "Please don't do that again."

Marceline softly says, once more, "Dude, don't shut me out. Please."

(Behind them, Simon watches, part of them but in his own sad way feeling not exactly part of things. He turns his face away, and only later does Marceline realize Simon didn't agree to not do any of that, at least not then.)

Marceline and Bonnie put an arm around a broad shoulder each, and they lean into him, and each other. This time, he does not shrink away.

His robotic arm goes around Marceline's waist, his human arm around Bubblegum's shoulder; prosthetic of genius around the one invincible by birth and deed, the beefy arm around the one who was so completely built differently. There was a poetry in it.

He hugs them both, and they give voice to the things they wanted to have said, that they should have said.

And just for a moment, it all feels okay.

It's not something they can repeat.

"We can't do it again, can we?" Finn says, tiredly.

Bubblegum understands what he means. "I tried to bring Jake back."

His expression doesn't flicker.

"I don't know if it was because Jake was... gone longer, or if, well. I think you have to WANT to come back, and Jake..."

Finn sighs again. "Jake was ready to move on anyway."

Bubblegum nods again.

Marceline quietly says, "If its old age that gets you... I don't think there's a lot we can do about that."

Finn lifts his head up and stares into the sky.

"I miss him so much," Finn says quietly. "It was easier to just... let myself go, hoping I'd find him right away. And you found me. I guess... I guess I have to hang on, as long as I can, for you."

Marceline wants to say 'glad to hear it', or something like that. It sounds insincere.

She knows, one day, he will be gone, and this time, he won't come back.

She wants to accept the inevitability, but she has gotten so much back when it should have been past a point of no return. Somehow, it doesn't seem fair.

She closes her eyes, and listens to the sound of his pulse.

Things don't feel gray anymore.

----

(Across the multiverse, upon the brow of the All that knows it is One, it does not pass unnoticed.

It makes an alarm go off. It's not an important alarm, in the broad scheme of things. It's simply an indication of an unusual event. Few powers would care.

The Scarab did, in his role as an auditor of the cosmic powers, and it was not a point in his favor.

He turned his attention to the world of Ooo, and the universe it resided in. His expression flickered balefully as he contemplated that Prismo the Wishmaster had taken an interest in that world for some time.

Well. Perhaps that was an opportunity.

He would have to pay attention to this world, then, and bide it's time. No doubt an opportunity would come up.

----

Time passes, as it does.

Goodbyes happen, as they must.

Finn breathes a last breath, and that is the end of Finn the Human, as he enters the Dead Worlds.

And as he leaves them, too.

A thousand years later.

Marceline Abadeer returns to Ooo, on business of her own, and she meets a small cat-like hero named Shermy.

And across the span of time, across a thousand years-

It is a reunion.

"I think I know you," he says.

Everything stays, she tells him later, and thinks that it does not need to be a gray thing, or a sad thing to say.

[littlest-bugz]

Does anyone else go thru phases where you don’t want to talk to anyone?

Like,,, I love you so much, but I just need to RECOUP. I need my alone time so I don’t have another breakdown.

[romantically-yours]

I wanna pick up a girl and pin her against a wall and give her lots of lil smooches while we giggle like the little gay goblin gremlins that we are

[vaugarde]

need to hit more of my characters with the aspec beam tbh. quinn i am looking in your direction specifically

[sarahreesbrennan]

Also also: is there any way, or will there be any way, for readers without whichever special edition (?) it’s in to read “Letters to My Lady from the Abyss…”? Reading your Reddit AMA in a desire to know more about this wonderful book and the idea of a tiny bit extra has me 👀

Thank you for wishing to know more! FairyLoot special edition is the special edition with bonus content. I will explain more. FairyLoot is a wonderful UK-based group who make fancy special editions for their monthly boxes. People sign up for FairyLoot and get books picked for them. You can get Young Adult, Adult Fantasy, or Romantasy, or a combination thereof - Long Live Evil was the August Adult Fantasy pick - and you can buy other special editions from their website. So the FairyLoot folks are Tastemakers as well as makers of beautiful objects. (ISN’T IT BEAUTIFUL? Pictures stolen. Interior art by Bon Orthwick who got Marius’s hair PERFECT.)

But you can’t buy the monthly boxes, unless they have extras! If they do have extra Evils to buy, I will put up a link.

There are many boxes now, but FairyLoot and Illumicrate are the two biggest and have made a lot more people embrace reading and see books as a special treat. Waterstones and Barnes & Noble have started making special editions of books because of them. A while back I knew none of this, because I was staying away from publishing, working with IP books (very different branch of publishing) and training for a different job. But then I did a catch-up call with my frien. She talked about FairyLoot. I did not understand her and thought maybe the deadlines had got on top of her and she believed fairies had looted her manuscript.

Holly: So these FairyLoot editions have (She holds up a copy of… I think… the Coldest Girl In Coldtown?) been amazing for UK sales.

Sarah: Sorry but why are these books so beautiful?

Holly: Because I just explained to you why, girl. Sarah: Can I have this.

Holly: No they’re limited!

So then I knew FairyLoot was a Giant Deal and they were offered Long Live Evil but I was sure they wouldn’t pick me.

My lovely editor Jenni: great news, the FairyLoot people picked you! Sarah: are you. are you quite sure.

Jenni: … yes? Could you write them some bonus content? Sarah: YES! A thing I can do for them? Oh yes! Here’s three things I can do. Tell them they can pick which one they would like!

I wrote a letter for them as well, to be bound in with the book. But the bonus content is an extra adventure or point of view you didn’t get to see in the main book. FairyLoot picks what they think their readers might like most.

I really like epistolary novels, where the action is told though letters, such as Jane Austen’s Lady Susan and Amal El Mohtar and Max Gladstone’s This Is How You Lose The Time War. So I thought it would be fun to do a story through letters!

Obviously I then had a moment of dark self-doubt.

Sarah: O my god why did they pick this nobody’s going to like him what shall I do! Holly: When I was writing Cardan’s letters you said ‘epistolary is so fun, you said, this is a piece of cake, you said, get in loser we’re writing romantically sinister letters, you said…’

Sarah: my Vision is a romantic The Screwtape Letters. Holly: … oh dear. Okay. Get in loser we’re writing romantically sinister letters.

And so with a lil help from my kind frien, I wrote Letters to My Lady From the Abyss, which is an epistolary short story with a POV we don’t get in book 1 and an adventure we don’t get to see. But I did write it, as you see, for FairyLoot so it belongs to them and it’s up to them. I think I might get it back in a year and then I’ll put it up on my website. I will let you know!

I am so sorry for this very long explanation, I just wanted to let you know what was up.

Should you read it, I hope you enjoy. And I will write more bonus content, I promise!

Also speaking of FairyLoot, they’re doing a readalong of Long Live Evil right now if anyone might like to chat about the book. Here’s a link to people talking about chapters 1-7 - they will do a different chunk every day! I like that people are choosing favourite characters, so far the Cobra, Key and Emer have the votes!

[callilouv]

its yearning hours oh myg od