#sure maybe 5 in 1000 people will actually listen to me

[deutoplasmic]

AVERAGE WORKDAY AS A VICTIM OF CAPITALISM

kawanishi takumi x gn! reader. 1.7k words. fluff, coffee shop au, meet-ugly.

Usually, people consider having a job to be a solidification of a status in society, a contributing member of the economy, the responsible taxpayer living their best life. People also usually consider that having a good job means that you feel more happier, more fulfilled, more societally adaptive, more content with how fate happens to play out.

You say usually, because you are 5 seconds away from just finding your manager Sho and outright resigning. It's only the promise of sweet, sweet money that keeps you together after you clock into work, take a couple of orders, and serve a table – only for some woman to sniff her drink, frenetically slam it down on the varnished wood, and screech something along the lines of this iced latte tastes like full cream milk, I know it's full cream, stop lying to me, and I ordered skim! Her furious spittle keeps flying all over the tabletop and the cute decorative succulent you watered earlier today. Someone’ll have to clean it up later and it sure as hell won't be you.

Just in case she’s actually right and you didn't just bungle her order, you glance across the room to confirm the bottle of milk just used for her drink. And. It's most definitely skim. When you look back at her frenzied state, there is definitely not a single chance on Earth that she'll listen to you – or anyone, really, except maybe Sho. He’s always had a penchant for calming down aggravated customers, which would be really useful if he was here right now. But he's not, so you just get to relish in a spray of saliva, loud shrieking, and your increasing urge to just blow up on her. You definitely have to ask for a pay rise soon or something.

The woman yells out one more thing about disgusting coffee beans – you decide not to mention that to Sho, considering he likes to pride himself on his nitpicked 1000-time-tested internationally-sourced coffee selection – and in all the joys of working in the food industry, cathartically throws her drink at you. Or launches, which is a better word for how fast it hurtles toward you.

Unfortunately, you are not very skilled in the art of catching high-speed coffee cup-shaped objects, so you have to make do with the power of determination and spite. Making do, however, ends up constituting of you trying to grab the drink from out of mid-air. It also happens to constitute your expertise ultimately failing you, as the ridged edges of the cup bounce off your fingers.

And into this back of this poor neighbouring guy’s white graphic T-shirt, which is at just the right angle for a considerable amount of latte to splash all over itstaining the fabric a milky brown that creeps outwards and clings to his skin like vine tendrils you keep trying to pull off but just end up sticking again.

Everyone else in the cafe is silently staring at you and the guy, catching every single movement as the guy slowly turns around. Having a job makes you more content with how fate plays out, you fatalistically think, happier and more fulfilled. To your immense dismay, you can't just stand there and consider quitting as a viable option just yet, so you struggle but manage to splutter out a “sorry for the inconvenience, sir, we can pay for the cleaning”. There is no way you're going to even glance at his probably very shellshocked face out of pure shame after this extreme loss of dignity.

He does not respond, leaving the cafe to just slowly and awkwardly start chattering to each other again. After the woman awkwardly realises nothing else is going to come out of this, she just hisses out something unintelligible – probably something like “never coming here again”, which, y’know, good riddance – and storms out the cafe to the cheery jingle of some windchimes.

The guy is still silent. Someone dings the bell on the counter. You decide to just risk it and go to sneak an apologetic look-

“Is everything alright?” Sho, the saving grace of your sanity, walks outside the kitchen curiously with his hands dusted with some pale white flour. “There are some customers waiting- Takumi?”

You swivel to fully face the Takumi guy. And he's staring right at you. And he is very, very cute. And you just spilled coffee on him.

However, there is no rest for mildly-above-minimum wage pay workers, so you snap to attention. “Sho, I accidentally spilled a drink on his” – you stiffly gesture in the direction of said man – “shirt. Is there any chance I can get it cleaned for him?”

Sho looks at you before laughing. You have definitely made a fatal error and you’ll be fired right now, right here, and you’ll have to dig up your resume from the depths of somewhere to go on the arduous task of job-hunting.

But then. He just goes ahead and waves you off kindly. “No, Takumi’s a friend of mine – I’ll just do it myself. In the meantime, do you mind getting the spare shirt in the storeroom for him to change into?”

There is absolutely no way he said that. As you hastily nod in acknowledgement and speed over to the storeroom, you catalogue whatever that... situation was that just unfolded.

First, you fumbled a drink horrendously. Second, you got this poor guy’s shirt ruined. Third, you probably-most-definitely jeopardised the Google rating of this cafe. And fourth, you somehow managed to not get fired after this crazy debacle, just to make up for your horrific luck today.

As soon as you get home, you are going to go to sleep and pretend nothing happened today. Absolutely nothing. Not at all. Right now, though, you grab the shirt neatly folded underneath some dish towels, and take some sweet, sweet time to close the door. Sho’s busy wiping up all the coffee on the floor, so you hand over the shirt to the Takumi guy whilst emphatically not making any eye contact, and shuffle-run back to the counter to get to serving the small gaggle of people waiting there. Hopefully, you’ll never see him again and you can forget all about doing latte DIY on his shirt. Hopefully.

Your shift thankfully ends without any more fiascos, and life is looking up for you. It’s so consolidating, in fact, that you have to remember that you have another shift tomorrow just to keep your hopes down. Goddamnit. Definitely no rest for mildly-above-minimum wage workers.

-

When you clock in the next morning, everything is as usual. The table of the incident is clean. There are no mysterious coffee stains on any fabric. Maybe, you desperately hope, everything will be fine today!

After making a slew of drinks for regulars and newcomers alike, you’ve almost shoved the events of yesterday out of your mind. That is, until you’ve just served a latte (you refuse to acknowledge the type of drink) and the assistance bell rings. You look up from the counter and towards the customer. It’s a guy in a shirt that looks very familiar, and when you take in his face, you realise just exactly who this is.

He grins awkwardly at you. “Uh, hi?”

Your head starts frantically sounding emergency sirens. It’s Takumi. The guy you just spilt coffee on yesterday. It is so over. You are so over. Autopilot, however, kicks in and saves you from making a fool of yourself. “Um. Welcome. What would you like today?”

He helplessly stares at you for a few seconds, before pulling out a kind of crinkled neon-pink sticky note from his pant pocket. “May I please have your number?”

Sorry. What. “Sorry, what?” you echo in shock, stress removing the formality of your speech. “Huh?”

“Oh. Um. I, uh” – he squints to read the words on the paper – “thought it was worth a shot?” There’s a sad and very pitiful expression on Takumi’s face, which is too much for you to bear, so you hastily clarify what you said.

“Uh, sorry. I assumed you wouldn’t want anything to do with me after I ruined your shirt?”

“Ruined?” His eyes are very wide in bafflement. “Don’t worry, Sho’s very good at cleaning out coffee stains. Actually, I was grateful you spilled it on me, because otherwise I wouldn't have-”

You stare at him. He stares back at you, before caving in and looking away. When he realises you’re not going to say anything else, he frantically apologises. “Sorry. Was that too much information? Uh, I shouldn’t have trusted Keigo-”

“You’re fine,” you assure him awkwardly, grateful for the few customers inside. “Don’t worry.” This Keigo character clearly didn’t brief Takumi well enough if whatever's going on here is any clue.

“Oh. Cool. Um. Can you- we- go- guh. Can I get a hot chocolate? Medium please,” he blurts out so fast that you almost struggle to figure out what he ordered, but you're luckily versed in the art of deciphering drinks from mumbles. It's a skill you've developed from this very job.

You scribble his order down on a cup, professional 'I am just a calm, composed, paid worker at this cafe' mode activated again. "Anything else?"

"Uh." He consults the sticky note again before looking at you with so much hope that his face could probably be used in one of those tests where you try to identify someone’s emotions. "Can I um. Can I say your number again?"

His optimism is so inspiring, it's so obvious he doesn't work in the food industry. Why not, you impulsively decide. Why not.

“Sure,” you tell him indulgently, and the way he looks at you almost makes being a mildly above minimum wage worker worth it. Almost. Because now you have to ask him to pay for the drink, but you also don't want to ruin the moment, nor do you really want to put it 'on the house' since it'll be deducted from your paycheck, so you're kind of just standing there at an impasse.

Such is the life of a victim of capitalism.

"I'll make that for you right now," you sigh in defeat, and try to ignore the way your heart thumps a little too hard and fast at his excited smile.

[the-final-sif]

I love morning lobby, dumbdog who is a long time streamer and been around the block (he's actually my favorite to watch) but he's had to acknowledge/apologize multiple times when he took things way too far. He's not the only one, though. Many people in that lobby have had to in the past and some will still get a little to into it sometimes but you know theyre friends and I love it coz it's nice they're still so passionate!!!

They've done a really good job of continuously working on balancing things and making sure everyone is having a good time. It's not always perfect but you can tell they really try and that makes such a difference!

I love them all 😭

Yeah exactly! Everyone gets tilted or toxic at some point in their life, it's normal, and it's to be expected on some level. But there's a difference between 'maybe got too heated or frustrated and then realized you fucked up later', vs "every goddamn second of every day is screaming and yelling and fighting".

You can get competitive and get too into it, but quite clearly that is not what Dasnerth got banned for. Like, the message is very clear that this is an ongoing issue with him, and he got banned well over 5 months ago. They even offered to unblacklist him if he behaved, and clearly he couldn't do that.

Like, 5up has also had moments where he gets toxic or frustrated. Hafu's got her moments, DK gets tilted and throws. It happens to everyone at some point. But they work past it, they move on, and it's mistakes, not how they are constantly. They're friends and care about each other (5up being asked how many people he'd let die for people he cared about and his questioning being about "would the person know" and if they wouldn't know he said pretty seriously he'd be okay letting 1000 people die to save Hafu sticks with me a lot when thinking about their friendship).

Also literally none of them would get banned from an event and then 5 months later still be trying to get back in after being banned and then bitch on twitter when it doesn't work. Like, they can take no for an answer, and listen when told basic boundaries, and that's a very basic ground floor for being competitive rather than toxic.

[headfullofdolls]

At this point, I'm reeally hoping the narrator in Sparks and Spells is Kiyomi Haunterly. Saw someone else point out the narrator mentioning their "nonexistent eyes", but in the last episode, I also realized the narrator makes ghost puns. Since they say they're planning to enroll in Monster High next semester, that at least confirms the narrator is in-world watching the musical, and the puns imply they're a ghost. There's no telling if it's something that'll translate into the actual show, buuut I wanted to go back through the episodes and look for key bits of characterization in some of the quotes.

Observations are long, so putting that under the read more. You've been warned 😅

Episode 1:

"Maybe this magical music spark is just the thing this talent show needs! I'm entertained! ...Don't tell Draculaura I said that by the way." – narrator cares about Draculaura's opinion; Drac is also the first character the narrator focuses on and mentions by name, which would make sense for Kiyomi

Episode 2:

"First up is Cleooo~ Because she demanded it..." [audible nonexistent eyes rolling] "Ooh, haha, sorry boo~" – narrator unimpressed and even disdainful of Cleo demanding to go first, reacts smugly about her getting interrupted; first use of calling people "boo"

"This isn't exactly a witchcraft-friendly environment... Especially not with Dracula in the audience." – seems to be in favor of witchcraft, sympathetic to Draculaura's plight

"Thankfully our ghoul Iris is on it!" – seems to have a soft spot for Iris, in contrast to Cleo

"That magical music spark might be an agent of chaos, but it sure knows how to put on a showw~! 10/10" – all about a good show despite the chaos, aka narrator is a theater kid

Episode 3:

[Heath accidentally lights his picture of earth on fire] "Ooh, symbolism! Dark! Listen, if this takes a magical musical turn? I will not be upset about it." – narrator is a theater kid +1

"Poor Iris. She's poured her eternal soul into the show and has no idea what in the Hades is going on." – very sympathetic to Iris; the specific mention of Iris having an eternal soul and using "what in the Hades" makes me think of River Styxx, which would also line-up better personality-wise...

"Iris, watch out! ...Oh. She can't hear me." – narrator is watching the musical in-world, but not in-person; maybe scrying, or looking through a portal like Kiyomi's powers?

Episode 4:

"Our stinky little spark is just getting started!" – fun fact: the narrator's VA calls herself a "stinky voice actor" on her instagram bio, so if she had input on that line that'd be super cute lol

"Our boos are relieved, and now they can focus on getting the show back up and running. Personally, I prefer the drama. ...And it looks like the drama loves me too! I see you~" – Boo counter +1, narrator is a theater kid count +1000

Episode 5:

"You know what this moment needs? A heartfelt song!" – narrator loves the tropes, more for the theater kid pile

[clapping enthusiastically after Draculaura's song specifically] "What a performance!!" – sus

Episode 6:

"Calling all boos! Calling all boos!" – Boo counter +1

"Iris clearly wants to join the fun, but right now she's putting the sigh in 'cyclops'. Thankfully, this night is full of surp-eye-ses!" [squeals in delight and self-satisfaction] "That was a good one." – focus on Iris again, and even by MH standards, this is some unabashed pun tomfoolery

Episode 7:

"It's happening! It's happening!!" – narrator is very excited by Iris finally getting a chance at the spotlight

"I'm not crying, there's just something in my nonexistent eyes." – aforementioned "nonexistent eyes"; seems especially moved by Iris's song, maybe finds it relatable?

Episode 8:

"This is my favorite part of the night! The grand finale! Draculaura, where are you going?? We need your vocal range!" – narrator is a theater kid +∞

"I know it seems like capturing the spark will fix your mistake, but, boo, sometimes, you just gotta go with it." – Boo counter +1

"One thing is for certain: I'm enrolling at Monster High next semester! See you scaaare! Booo~!" – two uses of boo this ep, and iirc, this use of ''see you scare'' is new, maybe a nod towards ghosts haunting?

So from this we can gather the narrator is an enthusiastic, bubbly ghost who loves a good show (but not people trying to hog the spotlight), is here for the chaos, and really likes Draculaura and Iris.

Despite her being a literal kid-of-the-theater, I don't get Operetta vibes from this narrator. And though she's bubbly like Sirena Von Boo, there isn't any sea-related wordplay that hints to being a mermaid. River Styxx is also pretty upbeat and cheery though, loves to entertain, and is connected to Greek mythology through her uncle Charon. But that mention of nonexistent eyes, the way some of the narrator's dialogue hints at a special interest in Draculaura, and the possibility they were watching the show through a portal, are all reminiscent of Kiyomi.

The narrator doesn't seem shy and soft-spoken like Kiyomi in g1, but g3's already established its characters aren't meant to be the same as those in g1. And in Kiyomi's case that'd probably be a good thing. The wiki mentions she's self-consciously lawful, cares a lot about honor, and can't stand when people complain, which, as the only explicitly Japanese character (and one of the only two explicitly east Asian characters) in g1, is...a little too much of a stereotype, for my taste. So change is good.

Kinda feel like the narrator could be a mix of Kiyomi Haunterly and River Styxx, both in personality and background. Maybe shy around other people, but more playful and spirited when she's by herself, hence she feels more comfortable watching from a distance and relates to Iris's insecurities. G1 Kiyomi was also brave and curious though, so it'd be interesting if g3 leaned into that a bit more, especially from an angle of her being passionate about performance—maybe stemming from Japanese theater. But then also having River's relation to Charon and connections to Greek myth.

I always thought their characters had very similar color palettes and aesthetics for being introduced in the same line, more so than the rest of the characters, though the line had a lot of pastels and flowy, sheer fabrics overall. And as much as I love River Styxx's design, we didn't see much of her character at all, because she wasn't a main player in Haunted and there were so many other characters that needed more focus as part of the story, like Kiyomi. Personally, I'd like to see g3 introduce new characters as well as bring back old ones, but that's a lot of characters. So combining the most interesting ideas from certain characters that were one-note or didn't get much chance to shine in g1 seems like a smart way to go. Better than leaving some really cool concepts behind entirely, I think.

As a final note, earlier I briefly mentioned the narrator's voice actor, who I found through IMDB. Her name is Merk Nguyen, an openly queer, Vietnamese American who seems very sweet! Not exactly sure what that'd say for the narrator's cultural background, since Kiyomi was specifically a noppera-bō from Japanese folklore, and g3 has been pretty good about their casting in regards to cultures so far. But if the narrator is meant to be Kiyomi and they go for another character with mixed backgrounds, I'd be very happy to see it!

[csmingy]

https://www.tumblr.com/csmingy/758594898166448128/what-about-chowlings-then-they-ask-for-over?source=share

Frfr. At least Symps has more then chows ever dreamed of. Saunt makes THOUSANDS of The Community. Yet the game hasnt even seemed to make much progress? Not to mention the fact that you need to offer 5 pop designers, 5 already existing chows, 5 HIGH QUALITY designs, and morw just for ONE chowling. Be it myo or premade.

Its shitty af how hard it is to get into this species. If something is THAT personal that you openly state "I dont want them to get to big" then why tf did you release ANY part of them yet???? They consistently shut down anything that'll open up the species even just by a tad.

Someone mentioned a currency conversion, but was shot down. Idk why??? That just seems stupid as nearly everyone there are sitting on 10000000+ copper, and barely ANY other currency. Foraging is now festival tickets... But like... The drop rates are TRASH. Tops i have ever seen is 5 tickets... -.-'

All the items in shop cost 100+ tickets if i remember from last time looking.

Myo/premade sales are....scarce to nonexistent.

There are several things that were started and not finished. Theres 3 discords!!!! THREE. species main, game hub, and for something else.

They're redoing the traits it seems too, but like.. People gunna lose out when it comes to their compensation. Which nothing on that has been revealed.

Theyve gone on breaks several times. Usually a month after the last break they had too. So its... Break for 2+ months, back for MAYBE one month, then another 2+ months of break.

Nothing to show for it either.

Dont get me wrong, i know some breaks were for personal reasons.

And its not even the mods fault. You can see how some of them get frustrated about these things themselves. They have an entire server to deal with while saunt does...nothing it seems.

They need more mods, saunt really should care more too for their community as well. Sure its a passion project. But you opened it up for others. Now you should listen to what your community wants too. Implementing some of the things they ask for would be a start. Instead of legit shutting it down because "its mine"

Thing is... Even as a game.. You HAVE to listen somewhat to what your community is saying. Otherwise it will FLOP AND DIE.

With how much they make of Chows... Youd think theyd be further Along too. The most recent openings the ab was like near 1000??? If chit chat inside server is anything to go by anyway.

The most lore ive seen is only for lineages, general lore is almost non-existent for chowlings. The items have been revamped and remade over 5+ times because Saunt cant make up her mind. She loves money and if you have it shell give you a hybrid for 1-3k+. She has an auction for all lineage hybrids right now and almost all of them have bids over 2k (there are around 8-9 hybrid combos so it has to be over 10k euro) It's actually insane. I know those customs will never be done. Oko has also been super strict lately and crazy about shooting down every suggestion that comes up and any submissions on the site if it isn't perfect. Myos and resales are also very expensive being 100 euro lowest and 1k highest. Im sorry, I just have a lot to complain about this to add-on. 🍈

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H Season 2….it’s top tier for me.

I couldn’t leave well enough alone, strayed off my list, and now come back to you with a new & improved Season 2 Viewguide: Deluxe Edition. I took away two, added four. One was a swap with the bonus eps—it’s going main! Then I added mmm another two more to the bonus list. LISTEN...

Probably it will all start to make sense if you see how long my notes are.

M*A*S*H Season 2 Notes At Last This Time We Took Them!

2x01 ‘Divided We Stand’

“Together, Pierce and McIntyre make a remarkable pair--” and it’s a reveal on them fully losing at strip poker

Radar just steering Klinger away muttering “You’ll get your dress dirty,” my moonbirds <3

A bit that never fails on me is someone being like oh none for me thanks, and then the remark that both glasses are for the other person. I think the earliest I’ve seen this is a Nick & Nora Charles movie in the ‘30s, maybe After The Thin Man? And it definitely happens on M*A*S*H multiple times, here and then I’m sure Margaret does it to Hawkeye in the Officer’s Club in a later season. EVERY TIME, I’m chuckling.

I have been in a state that I believe Hawkeye is in in this moment, where you’ve just been very tired for a long time and something in your emotional cortex is kinda dulled so you’re just sitting there watching someone, not warning them that something startling is about to happen to them, and then it does, and you laugh like the numbed gremlin you’ve become. For me it was tech rehearsal, for them it’s you know, a field hospital in a war. Anyway this is all why 1000% do I believe that this has happened to Hawkeye before, trying to wake Trapper and Trapper practically bruising his arm as he jolts awake with a shout.

I’ve decided to explain the fact that Alda bundles into a cap and scarf at the slightest provocation and Rogers does not with the Watsonian supposition that Trapper runs warm. Test it out, feels true right, feels good.

“I mean as screwy as this outfit is, better the devil you know, right?” and then this little wiggle shrug thing?? McLean???! I’m weeping, why is this whole showers scene hilarious. They keep catching the tail end of Wayne Rogers laughing when they cut to a different shot—that'd be me.

This half stammered exclamation “What the h-ell!?” as Radar runs up on him in the dark, god why is McLean Stevenson SO funny in this episode

“look normal”

They’re all WET in Henry's office right now, the shoulders of their jackets. Had it rained outside? Was there a cut outdoor scene?

“Frank showed up here cracked, with a Bible in one hand and a pair of shorts that said ‘Hold me’ in the other.” Wow orig booty shorts joke courtesy of B.F. Pierce

ACTUALLY. Another notch in the Timeloop Theory is Hawkeye constantly claiming Radar is his son with some member of the outfit (typically Trapper, here Margaret), and people like Henry hurriedly clarifying “He is not!”—yeah, Henry, how long do you think you’ve all been here

/

2x02 ‘5 O’Clock Charlie’

Have we addressed that Hawkeye’s name for Trapper when they’re being Brit-ish is ‘Reggie’? He says it twice.

Alda uses the same drawl of eagerness for “Oh do, Frank [give us a direct order]” that he does when Margaret threatens to kick him and he goes “Would you? With high heels?” Just for everyone's notes.

Hawk & Trap just sure know how to have fun, y’know! We all should have these kinds of relationships!

I like when Trapper goes all smart and take-charge. Very sexy of him.

TRULY this infantry drag routine added a year to my life when I first encountered it. Alan Alda is just so good at this. His extremely pantomime/vaudeville faces to Radar as they fail at all the commands, how very camp it all is, Trapper in MacArthur cosplay with his belt buckled over his untucked shirt and yet still hot, Frank…. an Iconic Scene.

Whomst is this random other guy just noodling on a guitar while Trapper and Hawkeye drink and muse on their problems

Ohhh okay he’s the current dentist. Hey, remember when there were dentists? That totally stops at the transition, huh!

I had definitely missed that they’ve got olives in their shower martini IV bottle. Also: what doesn’t this episode have.

Lololol Odessa Cleveland just hitting this “I’m ready to do the 4:30 feeding.” She really should have stayed around Kellye-style.

That every time Frank goes to pull out his gun it’s some new classic comedy prop they’ve swapped in is wonderful

Hawkeye & Trapper bundling Frank off to get a meal with them, “Why can’t I stay mad at you two lugs?” “We’ll work something out.” God…? <3

/

2x04 ‘For the Good of the Outfit’

Hmm maybe this episode fucks totally? I looooove them going off to take down the US Army, it's a crash to earth in the best way after 'Charlie'

“These fragments are as American as apple pie and Napalm.” Yell! Hell yeah, Trap.

“Radar, if you want me, I won’t be anywhere.” Lol Henry

Filing reports against the Army together, jumping off Lovers Leap together…

Radar translating to their nicknames to Henry under his breath WHAT is happening, I’m hootling

Love Hawkeye with his feet up on a desk, tired eyes and a phone to his ear, Trapper leaning with his collar up behind him, trying to make the American military take responsibility, for once

Writing to his dad in post-op while diegetic jazz plays! Atmosphere~

Whoa I do not remember a lot of this! Stopping Hawkeye’s mail out! Marking his movement “restricted”! This is getting really serious and scary!

Now he’s got his feet up yet his ankles crossed. Incredible advances in gay sitting.

Henry coming off entirely spineless this episode, c’monnn Blake

WOW General Clayton a) threatened to follow them forever, b) or threatened instead to just send them to an aid station to die on the line (implied)!!!!!!!!

“Go, Frank, go.” Trap I love you I love this. The 11th hour inadvertent save by Mssrs. Burns & Houlihan! Good ep good ep

“Take her, he’s mine :)” Hawkeye MY GOD.

/

2x05 ‘Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde’

What I like about my new S2 lineup is this run from

“They’re mad, quite mad all of them!” to

hahah ohh yeah no they are all mad, bless ‘em

to suddenly oh JESUS, but also spilling backwards to the two you’ve just watched because like, what else do you DO, you just pull out lawn chairs and a Trans-Atlantic accent and bet about whether Charlie will hit the ammunition dump, or you try to get the whole Army arraigned, it's basically toss a coin each day, heads I win tails you lose

then from there on to the secret third option we haven’t done yet: Maybe Hawkeye Goes Mad For Real

So here we gooooo! (This one is one of my favorite-favorites)

Trapper steering Hawkeye out of surgery is something that can be so—

Running tally: “20 hours of surgery,” “some day and before that it was some night”

Obsessed with all the mud business. The jeep coming by and spraying their legs, the guy tripping and falling in it as he runs. None of this is relevant to the plot or even commented on, it’s just texture.

“Morpheus, don’t just stand there, I’m yours.”

Trapper Watching Hawkeye In This Episode !

Hits on Henry, and that’s a sign. To Henry. I think. I think about a lot of things. Some of it is Henry picking up Hawkeye behaviors that worry him, for what else they are usually masking.

Running tally: Frank has been asleep three times while Hawkeye has gone on operating. Now that one I don’t know quite how to tabulate.

There is something oddly endearing about Hawkeye still trying to hit on the nurses when he’s nearly too tired to even lift his arms from where Radar is pushing him by in a wheelchair. I think it’s that there is so obviously no real intent behind it, no actual design to follow through with these offers. Just saying words recreationally, as the post goes.

Radar: “Now let me get you to bed here, make sure you’re comfortable.” Hawkeye: “That’s what they all say.” Hawk….you are so worrisome this episode though really!

Running tally: It’s now morning, so it’s been another night since our opening scene. He has definitely been awake for two nights, two days, 48 hours minimum.

Okay and now it’s night, so another 12 hours: 60

“You are turning into a 170 pound fruitcake.” Trapper…couple questions

Could Radar really not know the word Holocaust OR a popular Bing Crosby carol? This always distracts me for a moment.

Hawkeye haltingly singing ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ into the quiet while crying, the dark night of the camp stretched around them, is something that can fuck me up <3

‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas’ was released in 1943, previous episode it was stated to be 1951, so 8 years ago. Hawkeye is presumably supposed to be in his early 30s (slightly younger than Alda himself), so we’re talking like early-/mid-20s he was lying on a rug listening to this song. And now he’s out of the med school that kept him from being drafted into WWII, and swept into another war after all.

“Dear Harry. Who’s responsible?” It's like my heart holds.

Running tally: It’s the next day. 72 hours.

HIS. HAUNTED. EYES. LOOKING UP AT THE SOUND OF CHOPPERS.

Coming back to some of M*A*S*H again no longer on a good amount of hydromorphone (hi) is, far from a more sober experience, actually at times creating a sensation not unlike my mind is shattering like a bag of frozen peas smacked against the counter

GOD Alda! Eyes!

“I like that,” he says with a little smile, draping a couple pieces of toilet paper on the latrine. “It sells.” My fucking heart.

Physical acting award to GARY BURGHOFF, panicking in place next to Trapper for a solid few seconds before running off after them

Trapper and Henry playing solitaire together while watching over Hawkeye sleeping fitfully under presumably their fave phenobarbital kills me so softly. Whole vibe something so warm and domestic and bleak and fucked up, and the lines all So much. “McIntyre, what makes him do these things?”

/

2x09 ‘Dear Dad…Three’

Hawkeye just watching Trapper & Frank play gin, grinning. The way sometimes they’re roommates like this..

“Go ahead, Cuddles, take a card.” CUDDLES, TRAPPER?

Hawkeye reciting ‘Gunga Din’ ostensibly to praise Ginger’s nursing prowess is so 1973

Not to be such a laugh track supporter, again, but this is another episode I actually think plays better WITH it, as the contrast from the goofy cards scene with the communal laughs to the strained quiet as they try to remove this grenade from a soldier’s body is just so compelling to me.

Leaving in Alan Alda casually fighting through a yawn is so so so so so good. This show is so lived in, makes it feel oddly real for all its artificial 25-minute sitcom trappings.

Henry’s video from home scene reeeaally got to me, on the hydromorphone. The way they just gradually get more rapt and quiet even as nothing is really happening in the video, it’s just normal, and that’s what’s getting to them.

Man the Indiana suburbs are wild

“I could see that all over again.” This is kinda why I love Trapper, honestly. Part of it.

Ginger acting like he’s passing is just THE FUNNIEST PART OF THIS, I laugh every time. “Good job, baby!” GINGER!

The staff meeting is simply perfect. A perfect scene of television comedy. No notes, just want to show it to everyone I know.

I mean it’s just so funny when the racist soldier literally says "You've given me a lot to think about," and still just real nice when he salutes Ginger, whatever! Sure it’s cheesy! We all know! But it’s 1970/1950! They were trying to do something!

/

2x10 ‘The Sniper’

Oho had forgot this is the one where Trapper has a mild head cold, in his goldenrod robe

“Is your cold better?” “Does a cold ever get bettah?” Trap, Icon

Alda looks notably skinny here. It’s his so shaped body… Like a plank, breadth seems normal but then you turn him sideways and it’s like oh, that is a thin flat man.

Trapper’s mocking laugh back to Frank while shoving his gun away—SO BOYFRIEND THIS EPISODE

Trapper just hollered to Hawkeye to take notes on his date. God. It really is that kind of queered heterosexuality where all their nurse pursuits are ultimately just about bonding with each other. The heterosexual in service to the homosocial.

“Eight cans, eight shots. That should be about right.” Larry Linville, I’m laughing my butt off.

I miss the Japanese ‘Happy Days Are Here Again’ cover every day of my life

Henry: “Well hell's bells, we’re a hospital! That’s against the Geneva Convention!” Radar: “I’m not for it either, sir.”

Full male rear nudity on American broadcast television, M*A*S*H truly did it all

Trapper’s already on the phone with someone when Hawkeye crawls into the office, GOD the competence. So boyfriend this episode, reprise.

Oh haven’t mentioned yet how very very cute it is that Henry’s office is papered with his daughter’s drawings she sends him. I like to imagine that it’s actually a bit of a gallery, that other members of the unit tack up some of their kid’s drawings too.

“Radar—” “Get a white flag, yes sir. [little head shake]” Gary is incredible this episode

“You could roll over first” is definitely the assault joke too far. I actually can kinda forgive the first "violations" one weirdly because of the follow-up on it later, but this one is like, Hawk come ON.

Frank just happily head-empty drawing circles on Margaret’s kneeeee :)

Oh my god Radar’s bit where he says his metabolism makes his body turn to liquid…I'm dyin'

The rhythm of this episode, this transition now to creeping outside in the dark to find Frank and THIS MUSIC. This show should have had more score honestly, I always enjoy what it brings so much.

And then bringing Frank with him to go investigate the mess tent! Yes! This script is perfectly structured, truly.

GARY SO FUNNY THIS EP OH MY GOD

God yeah and the ending, going up to treat the man who was shooting at them…too good, gotta include it.

/

2x12 ‘The Incubator’

They are so so wretched and hungover and soft, moving and speaking with each other so gently and pained, god I love these messes

Something so endearingly funny to me about Radar casually explaining “I was too sleepy” for why they didn’t use him as their virgin sacrifice last night. Like, everyone’s got a role to play in society! Sometimes you’re the camp’s temple virgin! ….Oh wow actually Radar is a vestal virgin. Being a vestal virgin is all about having arcane knowledge, so many mysterious little jobs, and an attitude. Radar, lean into this.

They actually WANT Frank to chastise them for their night, god, their relationship sometimes!!! And then they’re genuinely like aw, geee, recognizing he’s right they aren’t the bright eyed bushy tailed young doctors he met. “We’re gonna get our tails bushed again, you’ll see!”

Hawkeye is still using 'bushy tail' as a shorthand a scene later

This episode? Good. Good choice, past me. I like how it starts with the aftermath of goofy debauchery, then starts showing itself to be a mission episode, with the two off them getting more driven as they get more sober, while still holding ice packs to their foreheads to illicit our chuckles at their hungover patheticness.

“Henry the war’s been running for two years, surely the government must be showing a profit by now.” Haha damn.

Hawkeeeeyyye, he’s now taken to calling their new era simply “B.T.”, and Trapper just nods knowing what he means while Henry’s like what the hell?

Henry’s advice is to show up looking handsome. I love Henry's approach to things.

And now it becomes a Great River of Commerce story. It’s a good script!!!

Riveted by how Hawkeye’s glinting sarcasm is scanning as genuine delight in avarice to this guy, while Trapper’s straightforwardness gets him labeled as the one with “a nasty streak of morality.” Hawkeye, glancing a quick amused look at him: haha babe he thinks I’m Evil. Trapper: sighhh. u are.

The other thing that crushes in this episode is that after rocking up in full Class A uniforms at the start of their odyssey, they start gradually shedding pieces, giving them new looks for each successive stage of their quest. A reverse of the wives in Mad Max: Fury Road.

Pierce & McIntyre operating as a duo can power me for a day. They just seamlessly play to each other’s strengths. Let Hawkeye get up and get mouthy but clever, draw attention, land a few points that aren’t gonna fade so quickly, and then when they turn to Trapper, thinking he’s gonna be someone reasonable they can fall back on, he just literally stands up to join him at his shoulder like, floor back to him I think. This general, it dawning on him: “Are you two together?” Hawkeye, literally, with a loose little smile: “In all kinds of weather.”

God and now they’re just a double act, picking up each other’s sentences, laying out a wall of fact on data point on incriminating detail.

They are just so sexy this episode

‘The Incubator’: kind of a perfect little episode to be honest! A secret fave, of the kind I have. I have my actual, more flashy faves, and then I have my other ones where it’s like, you know which episode I really love?

/

2x13 ‘Deal Me Out’

Hawk & Trap hollering at Radar as he takes their towels, little nose in the air: “I’m kidding!” “He was kidding!” “You’re beautiful!” #VestalVirginBehavior

I wish Captain Sam Pak had been in 15 more episodes. The M*A*S*H judge-of-character equivalent of whether or not a dog likes you is whether or not someone moves right past Klinger wearing dresses to getting engaged with his style choices, and Sam does immediately.

It’s entertaining to me that Hawkeye loves poker while consistently having mediocre to poor luck. He’s always just casually fucking up and folding. He's not good at this! And doesn't seem to care! He's just in it for the card game gossip.

“Hi, Frank. What’s new up on the Mount?” SID-NEY.

Aw forgot this is the one with baby John Ritter, winging an enameled cup at Frank’s head

KLINGER’S SUNGLASSES. At night.

What I love about this episode is that for a story that is predominately about sitting around a table, it has SUCH movement, literally and figuratively. Everything is continuously escalating over in the hospital, AND at the game in the Swamp, as various characters are getting up from and returning to the game. Another contributor is that they just keep adding new people into the mix: we get Sidney and Sam right up front, then the old Korean man, John Ritter, FLAGG... Just a real sense that this is a whole camp of numerous people all engaged in their little things, which I always love when a show can pull off.

Wild for whenever Henry is compelled to remember he’s the commanding officer and pulls rank on someone, particularly Flagg. Except hey, Flagg’s a colonel too… Well he’s wearing captain’s bars here though, they probably hadn’t decided that yet.

“Thanks for seeing me, Sidney :)” 15 EPISODES AND A MOVIE

Was staring and staring at Sam’s insignia trying to figure out what on earth was going on here, and finally realized: he’s Korean Army. Shaking my damn head.

/

2x11’Carry On, Hawkeye’

Phantom PA guy’s voice cracking with illness—he too is susceptible to disease

Is this breathing through my ears joke a thing, or just something very odd he is saying

Hawkeye instantly delegating Margaret to replace Frank working with Sheila, and having Father Mulcahy step in to assist him: you love to see management in action

“Father, as long as we’re working together, is it alright if I call you Dad?” Stopp

Radar bringing Hawkeye coffee in an orange mug that says “HANK” (?) while he sits on the phone at Henry’s desk whimsically yet urgently trying to explain to a general that yes he’s a capable young surgeon but he’s not looking for a husband, he’s looking for help. Sorry, once again I don’t have a comment, I just love it. The mug is so "workplace"!! Just inheriting random objects!!

Radar, happy that Hawkeye is semi-letting him make him take command: “Yes, sir!” Hawkeye, drawing up: “Don’t get fresh.”

Margaret all I’M IN CHARGE, and Hawkeye just like that would be terrific in so many ways, thank you

I actually think this episode is a great blueprint for what makes Hawkeye’s sexism such an odd grey area. His quips to the nurses are almost always around their sexual availability, but that doesn’t actually preclude him from also totally trusting them as fellow medical professionals, possibly more than any other doctor in this camp. He’s confident in them, praises their good work, and above all puts them in charge of things, that’s the part that really feels outré for the 1950s. And the Army, for that matter. And he does all this while also joking that he wishes he could put his arms around them. It’s all a muddle!

I DIE. Did CBS simply not know about pegging, is that how they got this scene through. I mean it's fucking perfect.

Henry, walking in still feverish: “Well, Mr. and Mrs. 4077th.” I still don’t even know how to unpack this, just that god, it needs to be. THEY’RE A NARRATIVE PAIR. The prom king & queen of the MASH unit. Mr. and Mrs. 4077th.

Trapper wants to help him so bad. Also wants him to kiss his forehead in the middle of post-op. Trapper honey you are so under the weather.

GODDD I love Hawkeye & Margaret, these two!!!! This is where it started babyyy. His little goofy forlorn face looking up at her as she sticks the thermometer in his mouth, her little warmed dancing quirk of a smile when he says he wants to get well to tease her all over again, this literal expression :)). Themmm!

Hawkeye: “Radar, you’ll be assisting Margaret Houlihan, nurse, friend, and all-around good egg.” Radar and Margaret: Margaret, gently: “He’s very sick.” [softly] help!

“Okay gang. Ours is not to question why…” Ohhh. “Ours is not to let ‘em die.” But he doesn’t finish it here. He’s too sick, he just trails off as he works, and we don’t get the end of it until the start of Season 4.

His little sweet squinted up grin, “That really hits me where I live, thanks!” Haha help!

Radar trying to take his pulse and realizing he doesn’t have a watch to count byyy

Listen if it wasn’t obvious I adore this one

/

2x24 ‘A Smattering of Intelligence’

This opening bit with Margaret is such peak Hawkeye. I can hardly explain. Quipping to a patient to get better before the movie that night, the horrible outfit, the flirting that is just all self-deprecating or offering her use of his hands.

Margaret: [rips Flagg’s sleeve off] “Oh.” Hawkeye: “You thought about going into burlesque, Colonel?”

Flagg is currently presenting as only a Lieutenant Colonel. FYI. Even rank with Henry.

“He’s a CPA.” I laughed way more than I should have at this.

I thought I was going to be able to handle Hawkeye in shorts, but now he’s sitting like a weirdo in the Swamp and I’m not, I’m not able to handle it.

“Captain Stone.” “That’s not my real name.” “Ohh boy.” Henry is already so tired.

Henry: “Why do we have to be in the middle? Can’t you let my people go?”

He’s lounging again. With his boots and his bare knees.

He also has an entire pocket of these Q-tips he’s been chewing on this episode. What’s up, baby.

A lot of screen-cap-worthy shots in this episode. You've probably already seen some of them. That's because people are making good choices.

Okay but spy Radar is so choice though. He's perfect.

“Fellas, it’s been both a privilege and a nightmare meeting you.” I gotta start saying this.

/

2x20 ‘As You Were’

What I like about the one where everyone’s going stir-crazy is the physicality with which they’re rendering this mental state. Hawkeye just crossed the mess tent to Frank predominantly on top of the benches, stretched out practically full length on his elbow next to him to ask what he’s doing, then clambered back to Trapper along the bench tops again. Just very good.

Ohhhhhh my god, I forgot this was the one where Trapper & Hawkeye put Frank in a box. Watching and waiting as Radar plays the morning ‘Reveille’, drinking coffee in their robes….

Klinger’s red outfit is fire lbr

They make Henry deliver just so many sex lectures

Gary’s perfect delivery of that VD line is what makes this whole scene worth it

The amount of Klinger outfits we get this episode! And they’re always complimenting him!

Margareeetttt like yes, yes of course Frank, they’re horrible, but also oh my god the thing you WANT them to do is operate on you

They’re soooo impossible <33 swooping into the operating room with their gloved sterile hands up, still doing this whole comedy routine <3 Frank is SUFFERING

“He’s an idiot, but he’s really stacked.” Trapper Why

I really do love this episode. It’s made in the transition to the second half being all surgery.

Henry: “Organize some donors, Father, get plenty of blood.” Trapper: “Yeah you’ve just been promoted to vampire.” Hawkeye: “Turn in your cross.”

Fourth Klinger outfit, and it’s fabulous. In case he gets dizzy giving blood he “brought a pair of low heels.” I love him.

Gary’s impression of “a major” on the phone is Quite good. Fun to be reminded that he’s a talented impressionist.

Oh okay, Radar canonically 19. Wait what was that Karl Urban Bones meme, like oh great Jim, he’s 19.

“Fred? Do you think the principal saw us?” Frank what

This episode has an incredible amount of gay quips. OH GOD is that what that was earlier about Fred??!

Aw wow, when the newborn baby cries and they all look up from the wounds they’re working on

Fifth Klinger outfit. Doozy of an ep.

/

2x22 ‘George’

Trapper singing most if not all of ‘I’ve Got You Under My Skin’ in surgery

Hawkeye, all worn out: “I hate sunrise. And those damn birds will start singing in a minute. Who are they to remind us of happiness?” Nurse: “We go back on again in an hour.” Hawkeye: “Amazing.” Nurse: “The sunrise?” Hawkeye: “The O.R. The amount of punishment the human body can take and still survive.” Trapper: “The doctors or the patients?” Hawkeye: “Which are we?” Wow okay Stoppard M*A*S*H (♥)

Someone’s gotta explain this “It only happens when I go tourist” line to me, as it’s ostensibly the reason why Private Weston knows he can come out to Hawkeye and what on EARTH does that mean!

JESUS CHRIST THE “I LIKE MINE THROUGH THE BOOT” JOKE WAS IN ‘GEORGE’??!!

Hawkeye: “What’s your rush, the war will still be there. Its options have been picked up for another year.” Lordy. M*A*S*H walked so Arrested Development could run honestly.

LOVE the way George comes out by the way. Little obvious logic puzzle, and Hawkeye perfectly playing along.

The entire pick-up football game tackling Father Mulcahy upstage makes me laugh so, so much

Oh god yeah—shots checkers

Wild that they are getting very very drunk playing shots checkers to try to talk about how this soldier has come out to Hawkeye and now what do they do

Wiiiild how many exhausted gay ass looks Hawley keeps giving to Trapper as Frank shares his ~information~

Love that Trapper is construing of homosexual behavior as just an expression of “individuality.” That so figures for him. God what a man.

Hawkeye: “How can you kick this little puppy of a person?” The puppy is Radar.

“Frank, why are you telling me this? Has the man made a pass at you? At me, at anyone?” I love Henry Blake. “Well you just never know, do you?” I am convinced sometimes he does. I am convinced Henry Blake knows far more about some of his officers in some regards than Potter ever did, and is just peaceably pretending he has no idea so that he’s got plausible deniability to keep not doing anything about it. Which is what makes it so annoying that Frank is talking to him about this right now.

It really is stunning that in the episode with the canon queer character & associated fall-out they are not remotely stopping doing things like Hawkeye stepping in for this nurse and stroking his hand until Henry asks if they can skip past the manicure

“a noncommittal goodbye leer”

Oho, Trapper canonically 6’3”. Damn Hawk your boyfriends are all so tall

Goddd bless Larry Linville for somehow making “Trap” sound like the most awkward terrible thing coming out of his mouth

“Trapper John McHypocrite” and asking him to look you in the eye could be a BIT much for the specifics of Weston’s situation, Hawkeye! Let’s reel around, let’s pivot!

The saucy no-hetero rewrite of this final button is too easy, and at least they gave us that.

/

2x21 ‘Crisis’

Father Mulcahy looks so cute in his jacket. He’s got his collar flipped up against the wind. Philadelphia <3

“Morning, Father. Take a pew.” Cute

Pierce, stop flirting with the priest

Very surprising that Alda is the least bundled up in this scene, how'd this happen

Trapper commenting that he’s gotta write this Frankism down and then actually doing it and sticking the note in his shirt pocket—my guy

Very foolish to put Hawkeye on maintenance & general services

Henry: “Now Radar will be the Housing Officer. Before this is over, we may have to double up or triple up to save heat. Radar will decide who sleeps with who.” Trapper: “Radar, I’d like to see you right after the meeting.” It’s such a funny line reading, and then he ends up cozy in adjoined cots with Hawkeye and it’s even better.

Oooo is this the debut of Klinger’s fur coat!

I love when the couples face off

Trapper, holding an unlit flashlight on Frank as he tries to move for the hot plate: “I’ve got you covered.”

Frank: “Ohh, you!” Together: “We are Not.” I’m gonna murder them

All them piling in shivering to the Swamp fills my heart with, incongruously, warmth. This is when the show really started to family them. The addition of Father Mulcahy and Corporal Klinger is key to this.

Klinger: “I’ve never slept in an officer’s tent before.” Hawkeye: “We’ll try to be kind.” Oh my god

Second appearance of Radar’s homemade surgical gauze & headphones earmuffs, BLESS

Love Klinger practicing skincare

“Power boss,” fun. Trapper really does take to being responsible for something so well. He likes a task.

I’ll never be over Trapper & Hawkeye essentially in a double bed under Frank sideways in a hammock. This was such wonderful blocking. “Frank, stop swinging.”

“Father, it’s cold out there—you want my stole?” “Oh, thank you my son!” Meanwhile, the boys are scrabbling around with Frank’s feet trying to steal his socks. Larry: “Noooo!” Obsessed with this episode

Haha it actually does kinda feel like a season finale the way it ends on the visual of Henry’s office now entirely empty. Thanks for validating my order choices, M*A*S*H!

*****

Viewguides (selected episodes for each season; M*A*S*H reduced like a gravy)

Misc. MASH (formless notes from my watches)

#M*A*S*H hours (all this & More)

[dutchwinter]

okay actual correct music ask game . 100 gecs and cobra starship for artists and uhhhghjkg. blue sky noise by circa survive for album

100 gecs YEAAAFGGHH i havent gotten around to listening to 10000 gecs in full but ive heard a bit of every song. and i loved 1000 gecs like two years ago i was OBSESSED with that album. ill say i know em even if im not all that familliar with their new album

Favourite Song: bloodstains or hand crushed by a mallet

Least Favourite Song: uhhh maybe ringtone? sorry i can only answer with 1000 gecs songs bc i dont remember their other music all that well. except bloodstains i listen to that everyday

Favourite Album: 1000 gecs

Least Favourite Album: i guess 10000 gecs but thats only because i dont know it well. i love it though

Song that got me into them: im not sure i dont have good memory..

Seen Live?: noo

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 

cobra starship... i love the music i have heard but havent heard much though so yeah i dont know em. i know you make me feel hot mess and snakes on a plane lol. when i found out you make me feel was a cobra starship song i almost exploded tbh.

First song youtube took me to: well its you make me feel but im gonna scroll until i find a song i dont know. literally the 3 i know came up. okay its guilty pleasure.

First Impression: this sounds kinda familliar lol maybe i have heard it but if i have i dont remember so whatev. he doesnt even read.

Do I like it?: i actually really liked this song. i love fun pop music from the 2000s early 2010s. its like the best music ever made

Would I listen to more from them?: yes of course

Rate (from what I heard): cobra starship is the best band on earth

blue sky noise.. im afraid to say this but i have not finished this album i know like. 3 songs. ill go listen right now i swear it. OH MY GOD GAY PEOPLE WIN. sorry im literally watching the you make me feel video right now. brb

okay its tomorrow ive listened to it. . um wel l that was the best album ever okay moving on

Opinion on cover design: i used to hate circa covers but like nevermind best things ive ever seen 10/10. i love this one though but there are some ones i like better

Favourite songS: ALL OF THEM?? i guess imaginary enemy frozen creek... i have to stop here bc ive named the entire album and deleted it pretty much.. spirit of the stairwell... etc..

Least favourite song: girl i guess compendium lol. but its good so whateverr.

Underrated track: idk

Overrated track: idkk man

Rate: i need to say here that all the songs i didnt mention are literally favorites. i cant stress this enoughh. what the fuck

BIG MUSIC ASK GAME

[olivelovesbeeeeeees]

"When We Were Young" Tour, Las Vegas, NV 10.2024.

i'm trying to think if i've ever been to an actual music festival that had more than 2 or 3 bands performing.

i don't think i have.

until just this past weekend.

it was fun. it was nostalgic. i loved people watching. i felt i was with "my previous people" from my past life of goths, emos, skaters, Hot Topic-y clientele. it was great! my favorite people were these characters that were holding up poster boards written in black Sharpie, "looking for an emo/goth girlfriend." hey, they were definitely in the right place to meet their potentials!

but. i don't think i could do it again, lol. as much as i loved being there, i honestly could not hang. for a general admission ticket, the cost for one was $400. after taxes and fees, it was about $1k just for our two tickets so you best bet your pies that i was going to make sure we got the most out of our experience at this music festival. doors opened at 1000. there were 4 stages with 60 bands staggered on a program up until the last performance at 2250. this festival was 14+ hours long!

and Juan and i started strong. we left our hotel room around 0915ish and got to the entrance of the music festival right before 1000. there was a merch stand right outside the entrance so we fell in line there 1st, purchased 4 shirts and a hat, went inside, ate a $22 entree of loaded french fries, and started stage hopping. the closest we got to the stage was for Coheed and Cambria (we maybe had about 6 rows of people in front of us) that we were right next to a mosh pit that Juan partook in and got a rib kicked in. i really got a big kick out of a dude near us that had a shirt that said "40 and older crowd surf coordinator," lol! and he did! people were going up to him and he would say, "yup! i'll make it happen!" lol! but he was just another one of us regular joes, which just made it all the better!

about halfway through the day, about 1600ish, Juan said that we if wanted to be as close to the stage for the headliners, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, we needed to start making our way toward the front row - so about 4-5 acts before the headliners. so we started with "Taking Back Sunday," then "The Used," and when "Pierce the Veil" started playing...i was feeling like a canned sardine. i had sweaty people rubbing up on me and it was so hot. then there was this taller white girl to the left of me that was fist pumping the air...hard...i really thought i was going to take her elbow in my face. that was when I sadly realized i couldn't hang. i was perfectly fine with listening to these bands from afar with them looking about a centimeter tall to me. the large 3 projector screens they had on stage were suffice enough to still make my music festival experience great. so i told Juan i was done and he started paving the way towards the back where there was space, fresher air and food.

but by 1900ish, i was shutting down. my feet were so sore and my legs were cramping up. i honestly didn't know if i was going to make it to the headliners, but then i kept reminding myself how expensive this festival was, how much i love this genre of music and the very high probability that i would willingly not do this again, lol.

and we did. :)

"Fall Out Boy" was great. Pete Wentz has long hair, half up with space buns. "My Chemical Romance" had a ton of good singles. Gerard Way is my inner emo girl's fairy tale prince.

P.S. and "Simple Plan!" my all time, #1, favorite pop-punk band!

[softxsuki]

Hello it's me again.. I made request for your 1000 followers event. I want to thank you for doing this!

I did it in order of your list! Hope this makes sense! :

----

1. she her

2. jujutsu kaisen or attack on titan or txt(if you even do this) TT TT

3. Gender preference doesn’t matter tbh

4. romantic (?)

5. infj

6. libra

7. honesty, responsiveness and trust

8. don’t have TT

9. fair probably.. I like to feel harmony in the world and I don’t like it when people don’t adhere to elementary things like etiquette/manners, etc.

10. drawing singing dancing maybe

11. I’m a school student, maybe I’m quiet but when someone is giving me attention I would definitely continue our conversation. I hate selfish people

12. idk maybe awkward conversations and talking about deep and serious things.. like we’re away from people in our own world, just us having deep conversations and how that'll be like

Thank you in advance! I hope this made sense, if you have question, you can ask on post, I can always check out your blog to see 🙈

-😶

1000 Follower Event Matchup #28

This event is CLOSED. You can view the event masterlist here.

Note: omg my 😶anon! long time no see :D I hope you're still lurking around :3. I say this under all these matchups now, but I'm sorry it's taken me this long to get to yours. I'm truly the worst 😳. Hopefully you like who I matched you with! Lemme know your thoughts if you see this! Miss you <3

also quick note for anyone new to my blog, yes I wrote this matchup for txt, no I do not accept requests for them! Just wanna make that clear. There was a time when I accepted kpop requests (I still like my kpop boys) but I don't feel comfortable writing actual fics about them anymore. thank youuu

I match you with: NANAMI, LEVI, YEONJUN

Runner-ups were: Yuuta, Armin, Soobin

Nanami:

A sensible man with a good head on his shoulders

He loves peaceful moments with you and is fully content with just watching you do what you love to do, whether it be drawing, singing, or dancing

Even if you sit in silence together, he finds it comforting just being in your presence

I see him doing some paperwork for jujutsu high while you do some work of your own

He’d steal a few glances at you, a small smile appearing on his face, before he shakes his head a tries to re-focus himself

Nanami puts you first in everything he does, it’s his priority to keep you safe and happy, he truly feels like that’s his responsibility as your partner and he’d put 10000% effort into making sure that happens

Deep conversations with Nanami?

Sometimes it’s hard to get him to open up, so I think you’ll be more successful getting him to open up later at night

It’s so awkward at first, he doesn’t like being vulnerable with you, especially if he opens up about his past pains and losses

He might get scared that he’d lose you in the same way (I hope I’m not spoiling anything omg) that he lost his old friend

But he trusts you, and having deep conversations like that with you does feel good, he’s also a great listener so he quietly listens to everything you have to say as well

Levi:

I hope you like them short o.o

But I think Levi just checks all your boxes

It does take a lot for him to trust someone, but if you’re his girlfriend, you’re one of the only people he fully trusts with his life

He was so scared to allow someone to enter his life romantically, he’s lost so much and losing you would be his breaking point

Hence, I think he’d be pretty protective over you, yet still listens if you tell him you need more space–so long as you’re safe then it’s cool

Your singing is so calming to him, especially at night

Don’t tell anyone, but he wouldn’t mind falling asleep to you singing to him (like a lullaby)

He’s tidy and drinks tea like a king :D he has all the etiquette 

Another one who wouldn’t be bothered by your quietness, he finds it relaxing and sometimes just shows up to sit and be in your presence

Deep conversations with Levi?

Good luck oh gosh, he definitely has a lot to share, but he feels like he’d be throwing too much on you by sharing it all

Perhaps sticking to deep conversations that aren’t so personal might be a better start

Like speaking in depth about music and songs, etc and getting lost into other conversations from there

It can get a little awkward, but Levi isn’t fazed by it at all

Yeonjun:

Forgive me since I haven’t been keeping up with TXT on a personal level recently ;-; I’ve just been listening to their new music, so big apologies if this is super inaccurate

As the oldest member and leader, I just felt Yeonjun has that responsibility to be good to you in a relationship

He has to manage four other members and make sure they communicate and get along, so he’s pretty good at being responsive

Trustworthy also falls under all that, along with having manners, he knows how to joke around, but he holds a higher level of maturity than the other members

You can sing and dance? He needs to hear it and see your dancing immediately

I imagine him wanting to sing a duet with you, perhaps a cover of a song (a little lovey dovey song perhaps)

He’s excited to teach you TXT’s new dance moves to their single that’s supposed to be released in a few months

You get all the behind the scenes and VIP info lol

He knows how to keep you engaged in a conversations and getting you interested in whatever you both talk about

Though quiet moments together aren’t horrible, especially when he needs a break from the hustle and bustle of the idol life

He warmly welcomes a quiet evening with you

You keep him sane lol

Deep conversations with Yeonjun?

Awkward as heck frl frl

He’s capable of thinking deeply and getting lost in those conversations, but he’s used to being around the members who would probably tease him for getting deep like that

Just give him a second to warm up to it

If you start it, he’d definitely join in and eventually get lost in those deep convos with you

EVENTS REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 8/28/2023

[soupbabe]

Heard you wanted to be spammed with requests-

So uh- Idk if you do platonic headcanons but- maybe platonic Stardust crusaders with a pillar crusader? Doesn't matter what,,, gender the bby pillar person is,,, just,,, sweet pillar babe who's tall af- and totally acts like a doofus at times---

You dont have to do this tho uvu

Stardust Crusaders + Pillarman! Reader HCs

It says Pillar*man* in title, but reader will be gender neutral, I think that's just the species (?) name! Also I like doing platonic requests so I don't mind doing this at all ! <3

Joseph Joestar

He met you around the time he met Santana

You were stuck in the same Pillar as the youngest pillarman, also playing the role of a guard dog before you were turned into stone

The main difference between you and your (uh forced adopted?) brother is that your face broke out in a huge smile and giggles filled the room when he booped your nose and told you to be happy

You were loyal to Kars, but throughout the time in Battle Tendency that decreased due to the realization that he never cared about you and did abandon you without thought

Joseph was there to comfort you through it and you helped in defeating Kars in return

After BT, you were sent to be studied at the Speedwagon Foundation and years later they were able to replicate the red stone of Aja for you

Ultimate Y/N ! Ultimate Y/N !

Sunburn no more

You became a nature deity, similar to Kars

First thing you did when the study was done was prank Joseph into thinking that the Ultimate Lifeform came back

Although it didn't work all too well, your forced down smile and stifled giggles definitely wasn't a sign of Kars, despite the mighty wings you sprouted

You lived with Suzi Q and Joseph for the majority of your new life and you adored being apart of their lives

Also they did make you babysit Holly numerous times even though you had no idea what a human baby looked like until now

Should've learned their lesson when one time you were caught making a rough sketch of what would have been a traditional pillarman tattoo on a 10 year old Holly, claiming that it's needed for her to grow up big and strong like you

Although you weren't a stand user, you had experience fighting ancient supernatural beings stronger than some stand users and you were a deity among men. Joseph didn't wait to take you with him when he found out that Dio was making a return

When Holly got sick and it was clear the crusaders had to go to Egypt, you didn't hesitate to sign up. It was a rare time that you were serious and your loyalty to your aged best friend shined through. You loved his family and you saw Holly grow up, of course you'd be there for him

Throughout SDC, you mostly just laughed at him (mostly during the fight with Mariah) and cracked jokes with him to ease tense situations

Also that bit at the end of the show where he pretended that Dio possessed his body?? He got that from you and you both laughed while Jotaro gave you both a glare

Iggy

Oh my god you barked back.

Y'all gossip with each other in dog, you're a nature deity, of course you can understand him perfectly

Added bonus of your powers is that he naturally relaxes with you

Sleepy gremlin

Jotaro Kujo

It took him a while to warm up to you

You were raised by Kars and Esidisi, dealing people who come off as cold and have occasional outbursts of anger come natural to you

He first doesn't think of you as anything when he first saw you

It wasn't until you sized him up, easily towering over the 6'5" teen, his eyes widened in astonishment a little

He has no problems with you, you're respectful to his mother and you respect his privacy for the most part

You're real bonding moment was when you made a lame, but fairfly obscure, fish pun when beating up the stand user of Dark Blue Moon

You both talked about marine life, he was genuinely interested in your experiences with ancient marine species and types of life before evolution made them what they were today

Although he doesn't like the happy go lucky types of people (they remind him of his annoying fangirls) you'll be the exception

A moment you both really became friends was in the Steely Dan fight

You shot your hand up in excitement, offering to aid in beating the hell out of the cocky bastard that mistreated Jotaro and Joseph

It was a good moment for you both to have light hearted banter and you ended the fight with a smile and a high five

Although persuading Joot to do the high five went more like: "Jotaro please" "No." "Pleassseeeeeee" "*sigh* Leave me alone after this."

I thank that you can't see stands. I can only imagine the endless lighthearted fights you and Star Platinum would have, you both giving each other proud smiles of how strong your friend has become

Noriaki Kakyoin

You gave a welcoming and cheerful aura when he woke up at the Kujo household

Out of all Crusaders, I do like to think that you would think of Kakyoin as more of a little brother

Probably because you miss Santana a bit tbh, red hair and a more reserved personality?? Easy for that to happen

Although you do make sure to keep that distinction between the two separate beings, gotta be healthy bby

You were one to always encourage him to get more out of his shell and be the friend he deserved

He would encourage you to speak about Pillarman society/culture when you both roomed together

One time you pranked him by giving him a handful cherries and giving him a tiny jumpscare when the cherries actually did turn back into your hand

Sometimes you both make fun of Polnareff together </3

Jean-Pierre Polnareff

,,,,big tall gentle giant? Oh my god he would've melted for you at first

He flirted with you first thing after the fight with Avdol, only to be immediately shut down with your laughter

It's not the first time someone hit on you, but his attempt was so cheesy and bad that it was funny

Don't worry he didn't keep on flirting with you though, it was clear that you weren't interested

That and you told him that you were over 1000 years old

You both were outgoing so it wasn't a big surprise that you two got along so well

He actually enjoys your tales of past fights and how it was like not being able to be in the sun for the longest time

That and he asked for hair care tips, your hair is very beautiful to him and to keep it as such even when you were turned to stone? Impressive

You both are dumbasses together, but you're the one to save his ass all the time

Especially during the first fight with Hol Horse, guns can't kill you and even then your skin can create a harsh shell to soften the blow

You just laughed it off, said that it tickled, and encouraged Polnareff to chase after the (now) frightened cowboy

You and Polnareff also have a lot in common too and you both are able to be for each other when it comes to Polnareff's grief over his sister and you technically being the only pillarman alive

Omg Y/N I can't believe you have yourself an emotional support himbo I'm jealous

You're also a wingman/wingwoman for him, years and years of experience (and using Joseph in his younger years as a "what not to do" reference) led you to being the perfect helper in getting whoever Polnareff wants

Muhammad Avdol

He's read about the Pillarmen, but he never thought that they were actually real

So when he met you he was flabbergasted

You and Avdol's friendship is like him unintentionally parenting a 7 foot 5 year old on one of those kid leashes

He knows that almost nothing can cause you great harm, but he still worries

Because of that his favorite form of hanging out with you involves chatting over tea or showing you foods you might not be aware of

In all honesty, it's greatly appreciated since your diet switched from vampires and humans to absorbing like 2-3 raw cows every other week. Your "palate" is not as expansive as you may think

While in India, you were able to buy some Henna and Avdol was very open to you giving him a mock Pillar tattoo

He wore it with pride and was very greatful

Sometimes when he gets homesick you make your arm into a chicken, and although it isn't the real thing, he appreciates it

You also show him ancient Pillar rituals too and it's his favorite thing to listen to

In return, you bother him to show you how to read tarot and tell him about (in your words) "occult business~"

You balance each other out and Avdol cherishes you greatly

When the mission to Egypt was over, he did name a chicken after you btw

[clementinesjourney]

Record Shop Funk - Pt. 1 Like real people do

A.N. : Hey guys, so i had this idea yesterday, and i really hope you'll like it. <3

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Words: 1,9k

Pairing: camboy!Steve x Reader, roommate!Bucky x reader, Stucky x reader (as the story goes)

Warnings: nothing yet :)

Summary: Who knew that having a secret crush, then a hearbreak will end in such a sweet thing..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Bucky shared an apartment above the recordshop you both worked in. Your aunt was the owner of both, so it was a fairly good payment, and a fairly good apartment for a cheap price. It was a bright and big apartment with two bedrooms, so your decided to rent it out, all while searching for a helper to the shop downstairs. When Bucky came in applying for the job, you asked out of joke if he needs a place to live since you had seen around 5 people already and none of them felt right. His eyes lit up as he said he is in fact looking for a place. Since he was fitting for a job, and looked like a decent guy, you congratulated him on his new job, and asked if he wants to see the place today. You still had one and a half hour to close, but after it you would gladly show him the apartment.

He had nothing better to do, so he agreed to it, feeling happy about having a job he might actually like and a coworker he might actually will get along with.

-Do you drink coffee? I was thinking of getting one in the meantime. My friend works close by, and they make the best coffee in town. - He asked.

-I could go for one thank you - you smiled at him - iced cold-brew, no sugar, i'm sweet enough.. - you said with a smile.

He couldn't help but smile back at the joke. When he arrived at the café, he saw his friend Steve flirting with a girl whom he could visibly see trembling just cause he talked to her. Steve always had his way with girls, ever since the serum of course. After he broke up with Peggy, it was mostly just hookups, never finding a girl worth keeping around. Not as if they werent kind, pretty or good to him, it just never felt right. Bucky smiled at his friend, Steve immediately shifted his gaze from the girl, to a very happy Bucky.

-Did you get the job?

-Better.. I got the job, and she has a room for rent which i'll see tonight.

-Wow Bucky, i didn't know you were even better then i am.. sooo how does she look? - asked Steve with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows. He wanted Bucky to get a girl since ages and hearing this, his mind immediately ventured there.

-5'7, ginger, green eyes, freckles, curvy just the right places. why?

-Nothing Buck.. nothing.. - Steve said smirking at his friend.. Bucky never realized when he liked a girl, so he never really acted on it. He last had a woman back in the 40's.

-Sooo i know you didn't come to have chat with me, one black coffee and.. ?

-ah, iced cold-brew, no sugar..

After paying for the coffee, he hurried back to the shop, hoping to get to know his coworker a little bit better.

You thanked him for the coffee, and when you tried to pay, he refused.

-Next round's mine then. - You smiled at him with your 1000 watt smile, which again he couldn't help but smile back at.

-So tell me about you Bucky, what do you do in your freetime?

-Nothing really, just reading, spending time with my friends, kind of thats it.. I have a boring life really. What about you?

-Well, i work here, then i go home and listen to music, cook, god i love to cook, thats a big pro for the apartment.. just saying. - you said with a playful wink. - besides that nothing much. Sometimes i go to a nearby bar with my friends maybe concerts and thats it.

-I like washing dishes if that helps with the application for the room. - he said with a shy laugh which made your heart skip a beat.

- It sure does.. Do you leave your stuff around?

-No i'm a tidy person.. thank you very much. - he said cockily (just for the sake of being funny really).

-Okay okay, if you like it you can have the room, just promise to tell if you bring up a girl so i can leave. The walls are kind of thin.

-It's okay, i don't really...

-Oh um i'm sorry, i didn't meant to intrude, it just something i would really like everyone to add to their rental contracts. - you chuckled embarassed.

-Noo no, it's okay, i'm not embarassed by it. I guess i don't want hook ups, if one day there's someone i'll tell in advance.

-yea me too, i promise. If you end up renting it anyway haha. on that note it's time to close so i can show the room in a min.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you opened the door to the apartment Buckyquietly took in it all. It was really bright, white walls with paintings all over the walls, plants in every corner or shelf you can put one on, a comfy looking mustard couch, aztec-y rug under the coffeetable, and a wall fully shelved, filled with books and little trinkets, it looked like a home he never had a chance to have. The livingroom had an american kitchen on the side, island in the middle of the kitchen area, it was white, and blue which reminded him of greece, down the hallway you showed him the bathroom which of course had a lot of plants that liked the atmosphere of a bathroom, a shower in the corner and a bathtub under the window. You then showed the empty room he could rent out. It only had a shelf and a wardrobe, and a queen sized bed. No decorations, no signs of anybody ever living there. You then pointed to the room the opposit of what could possibly be Bucky's in the future, saying that is yours. You didn't show your room, he wasn't gonna go in there anyway, and showing your most private space on the first day didn't seem like a good idea either. You then invited him out to the balcony, watching the setting sun, smoking a cigarette.

-So thats about it, what do you think?

-I really like it, and i mean.. my workplace is pretty close so thats a plus, also you said something about cooking all the time.. sooo if it's alright with you i would love to rent it out.

-It's settled then roomie. I'll give you the keys, you can move in whenever you want to. Tomorrow we are closed, so maybe that would be ideal.

-Yea, then tomorrow it is then. I'll ask my friend to help, then we can maybe hang a bit if you're free.

-Sure, i have nothing planned, and it's good to know who i'll be living with. - you said with a smile.

Before closing the door, you said your goodbyes, and you realized what did you just do, after he wished you good night with a killer halfsmile that almost had your knees buckle. You just agreed to living together with possibly the most handsome man you've ever seen who is also your new coworker, so you will basically spend most of your time with him.. Guess we'll see how this goes you thought to yourself.

Morning came soon enough, you were sitting out on the balcony when you saw Bucky arrive with a very tall, just as handsome man, carrying boxes of books, and bags of clothing. Bucky looked up at the balcony, waving towards you, you waved back, then moved to open the front door before going back out to the balcony, resuming your coffee and smoke.

When they finished bringing all Bucky's stuff in, it was already midday, so you decided you'd order pizza for all of you, as in like a welcome present.

-Hey guys, i'm thinking of ordering pizza, what kind would you like?

-Oh (y/n) you don't have to. - said Bucky, earning a smirk from Steve as he looked back and forth between you two.

- Noo i insist, today won't be the day i'll start to slowly kill you with my cooking. - you said giggling a bit.

- Whatever's fine peach. - said Steve with a wink, that you decided was just out of friendlyness. You didn't veen knew his name, and he seemed like a lady's man anyways. Not really your type no matter how handsome and muscular he is.

- Steve, by the way, nice to meet you.

-(Y/n), likewise. - you shook his hand.

When the pizzas arrived you called them to the kitchen, listening to all their shared stories from their early years. They seemed like really close friends, and genuinely good people. You had a really great time. It was nearly 9 pm when Steve left, for saving a dame from dying cause of boredom he said. You and Bucky chuckled, then he let him out, closing the door, locking it for the night.

-I guess i have some packing to do, so.. good night (y/n).

-Good night Bucky, if you need anything just knock. - you said with a smile, and he couldn't help but smile back. He felt at peace. He had Steve, now he had a job, and a room to make a home of, and you as a new addition. You were so kind, so eager to help if he needed anything, he loved how the scent of raspberries and flowers lingered in the apartment mixed with coffee and cigarette smoke. It seemed to have a calming effect on him.

You heard a soft knock half an hour later. WHen you opened the door you saw a smiling Bucky, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

- Hey, um.. sorry. I forgot i didn't bring a blanket, could i borrow one until i get my own?

-Yea sure, i'll get one in a min. - You said, leaving the door open, letting him see a bit of "you" while you were searching for your spare blanket in your wardrobe. The room really was you. White, with mustardy curtains on the window, plants everywhere, books piled up here and there, a really comfy looking bed, pictures of you and your friends on the walls. And damn, your room smelled even more like you. If he wouldn't pay attention your scent would lure him into your room and never let him leave he thought.

-There you go. - you handed him the blanket smiling.

-Thank you very much.

Then he stood there for a moment drinking in the sight of you in front of him. You were wearing an oversized tshirt, that ended just around the middle of your thighs, hair in a messy bun, no makeup. He could swear he thought you were pretty before, but seeing you as you were made him fancy you even more.

With a small smile you told him goodnight again, then closed the door in his face.

You could hear his little laugh on the other side of the door, then his door closing. For the first time in months he didn't wake up in the middle of the night, and he didn't had a nightmare either. He was afraid he would, and then he would wake you up with his screaming, but looks like the blanket which smelled just like you calmed him enough.

After waking up because the rays of sunshine on his face, he smiled to himself guess i'll wait with getting my own blanket then...

[adultswim2021]

Cowboy Bebop #23: “Brain Scratch” | April 3, 1999 | S01E23 Adult Swim premiere: November 12, 2001 - 12:30AM 

Okay, so way back when Adult Swim started I immediately turned my back on Cowboy Bebop for being anime and especially for not being 4 more repeats of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. So I didn’t really on-purpose watch it at all. But the closest I got after turning the first episode off after five minutes was when I watched the last stretch of this episode, context-free. I saw an old man’s face on a bunch of TV screens smugly saying things like (insulting, slightly gayer mimic) “do you know why man believes in god? (long pause) because he wants to.” or “god didn't create humans... it is humans that created god!” while ominous music played. “You see TV has become the new religion” SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU PRETENTIOUS FUCKING ANIME BULLSHIT. 

It’d liken it to the time when I was under the influence of a COOL ADULT I knew who said All in the Family was lame and preachy and completely overrated. I sampled a single episode on TVLand and it was exactly those things, with an overly simplistic MONEY CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS message that was constantly punctuated with Rob Reiner furrowing his brow thoughtfully at Archie being too STUPID and CONSERVATIVE to understand it all. I drew this comic about it:

Later I downloaded all of All in the Family in MP3 form and listened to them instead of podcasts and you wanna know what? I fucking LOVED IT and thought the show was brilliant and hilarious, all because I didn’t have to look at Rob Reiner scowling. My point is my impression of anime was that it would be exactly as pretentious as this episode is. I happened to catch the one single scene from the show that would reinforce those ideas THE MOST. 

Well, I appreciate this show more now. This episode is fine, I guess. I do still think it’s pretentious. I think there was an episode of Duckman that was more insightful than this that had the same message. TV controls people, they worship it like a religion. Sure. But it’s also cheap hedonistic fun, and what am I gonna do? NOT WATCH IT? Hell, I have TWO TVS going right now as I speak. One is a B&W dailies monitor I bought at a yard sale for 5 dollars. I had to buy an RCA adapter that was 6 dollars to hook up a VCR to it and now I play random tapes on it. I just think it’s cool looking. Sorry, I just realized I haven’t used my tumblr to brag about my B&W monitor yet. I could sell it on eBay for $50 bucks, easy, but I’m not gonna. What was I talking about 

This one is about a guy who is selling a religion where you can allegedly upload your soul into a computer or something, and live digitally. 1000s have seemingly committed suicide for this process. BUT COULD IT BE REAL? And why is the head of this religion unreachable? He appears on TV to hawk his cult on a daily basis. It turns out he’s using the brainwaves of a comatose guy, basically using him like a battery and he’s just a max headroom on a screen. I think. Then he says pretentious stuff to Spike while they kill him. Obvious reference I didn’t realize until this very moment: Heaven’s Gate. That guy. Remember that shit? I do, because I was just becoming an extremely online guy at the time and I remember that being maybe one of the most famous websites out there. I remember the official Monty Python website redesigned their site to parody it, and thinking it was so funny. I recall going to the actual site out of morbid curiosity and my mother freaked out and thought I was going to become a cult member, and I remember feeling like insanely insulted by that and getting into a big fight with her. I don’t even believe in Christian god, you idiot!!!

I like the first act, where they are flipping through TV channels and stuff. All this stuff is strong. But I still think this episode is a little lame and goofy, the same way I did when I stumbled on it in 2001 and s’d my damn h. At it. But, it didn’t piss me off, and that’s worth something. 

[phoomwhoosh]

ALRIGHT. So, I have some thoughts about season 5 of Cobra Kai. This will be under a cut because I am not a heathen.

So, I have watched season 5 twice: once all of the way through and then a second time just for Daniel’s arc. And not because I am only a fan of Daniel. I do love a lot of these guys. Daniel’s arc, though, man...

Anyway, I guess I’ll start with some of my favorite bits/characters:

LOVED Tory this season. Her scenes with Devon really were nice. Frankly, her whole arc and such was fantastic. I HATED that she was forced to break her damned hand, holy shit! I actually had to look away because it was so horrific. I do like how she caught onto Kreese’s bullshit and straight-up went, “Fuck this.” I also like how she mentioned Daniel getting hurt because of their antics and her genuine shock when Kreese was like, “That bitch got what he deserved.”

Sam’s sequence in the nightmarish pod. I like how well it showed her internal struggles and all of the labels she’s been forced to live with. I liked Sam a lot this season.

I actually liked Mike. I totally love that he turned his life around and we got to hear his story. Also, him apologizing to Daniel? Gold. I loved that. I also loved how he interacted with Chozen and Johnny. Him stealing the party limo was just...yeah, that was definitely great.

Daniel’s former rivals (the core three, at least) coming together to help him? Hell yes!!!!!

Chozen was KILLING it this season and I love him so much. I was so, so worried he had died and was gonna legit cry if he had. Also, I adored how he trained the kids and just…man, he was amazing! And his SHIRTS! Once more, I find myself wanting to steal his wardrobe.

Amanda being Jessica’s cousin? LOVED it more than anything. I saw somebody mention on a post that it makes so much sense that Daniel met Amanda through someone else and it really does. As kind as Daniel is, he very clearly doesn’t have a whole lot of friends.

Jessica telling Amanda more about Terry? That was fantastic. I saw someone else say that it was good for Amanda to hear that from someone that wasn’t Daniel and I agree 1000%. It would’ve been hard for Daniel to explain since it would’ve basically just been him heaping blame on himself for things that weren’t really his fault and it wouldn’t have helped matters at all. Whereas hearing it from Jessica, from the outside perspective of someone who was around while it was going on and who was actively involved at several points, yeah. That was better for Amanda. Really love how they handled Daniel and Amanda this season.

There were more things, I’m sure. XD

And now for what I didn’t like:

The teen drama. It is sooooo old to me. Maybe it’s because I’m 30 now and I’ve reached my limit with this stuff. But for real? At this point, it feels like the teens are dating for no reason other than they have to because the writers are holding them at gunpoint. Don’t get me wrong, SOME of them are cute but others are just…yeah.

I wish Sam hadn’t befriended Moon and Yasmine again. I miss Aisha. I honestly wish that those two had been written-off and Aisha’s potential as a character had been realized in full. (I know she left forever ago but listen...I will miss her every season.)

I wasn’t a fan of how Kenny continued to assault and bully Anthony. Yes, I understand why he hates Anthony. However, during that water park scene, they could’ve made Anthony crack his skull open on the edge of the pool and/or drown! THAT is when THEY should have been kicked-out! That shit is dangerous!

I don’t feel like getting into the Mexico plot line or Johnny only getting Miguel and Robby to make-up for the Redacted (not going into that one either) because I feel like enough people have already talked about all of that. Just know that I too am disappointed in some of the things that happened with Johnny this season.

I’m gonna talk about Terry and Daniel probably in a separate post because, honestly, my most favorite parts of the season were the ones involving them. I apologize in advance for when I find time in my life to go feral over that.

[honey-milk-depresso]

Stuck with Heartslabyul

I also procrastinated on this for so frickin’ long. I made two other series of being home dorm quarantined with other TWST characters like Octavinelle and Savanaclaw which you can go read if you want! I hope you enjoy this one! ^^

Riddle Rosehearts

He still somehow carry out his dorm leader duties-

Let us shed a tear for this young boy-

also there is from head to toe neatly

V e r y  neatly 

placed in order

organized files, books, documents-

What tf is this an office or a dorm room?????

well whatever-

He thinks that this is the perfect opportunity to bake things.

With you!

Well, truthfully he can’t really bake as well as Trey but he tries,

and if you are by his side baking,

he feels a little bit more confident, and a lot more happier!

Unbirthday parties can’t be carried out since

ya know,

no social contact :’)))

so, he’ll just have daily unbirthday parties with you!

And lemme just tell you,

after so many hours of baking,

he’s getting the hang of it-

And you realized he’s actually really good in setting a tea party atmosphere.

Like he knows how to arrange the teacups,

he prepared frickin’ napkins my lord this Ciel Phantomhive kid is extra-

But not going to lie, 

It’s really pretty the set up.

AND HE GOT THEM ROSE PETALS ON THE TABLE-

EVERYTHING IS ARRANGED SUPER PRETTY-

Buuuut, his baking still needs some work going-

D A N G THO-

“RIDDLE, THAT’S A LOT OF SUGAR-”

“Oh? R-really? Didn’t it say 5 tablespoons?”

“You poured 5 whole cups-”

“Ah-”

Trey Clover

Listen,

being stuck with Trey is the best option-

He bakes

A SHIT TON OF PASTRIES-

And I’m not saying he baked a lot of pastries equivalent to how much he bakes for unbirthday parties-

Oh no non no-

It’s frickin’ thrice the amount-

THE ENTIRE ROOM SMELLS LIKE EVERY SWEET PASTRIES OUT THERE-

He experimented a lot-

From baking macrons, chiffon cakes, frickin’ candy art-

You are blessed when you’re stuck with him, s/o-

seriously-

“Holy shit Trey, what is that??”

“Oh, I’m just carving the chocolate.”

“Honey, that looks like you just created Van Gogh shit, that looks fancy and really hard to do-”

“Sugar, I’ll make your food look and taste like ‘Van Gogh shit’ for you anytime.”

“OH MY SHIT YOUR SO SWEET, I CAN’T-”

Cough cheesy Trey cOuGH

And he’s like a housewife not gonna lie-

he wakes up earlier during quarantine surprisingly, 

maybe cuz he always finish schoolwork MUCH earlier now-

and he doesn’t have much to carry out as Vice dorm-

so he wakes up early,

and cooks frickin pancakes whatever delicious shit that comes to mind for you to eat for breakfast

cbdhidcchnff hnf

W H A T-

Also brush your teeth after you finish eating-

Cater Diamond

Man-

Cup noodle game is strong-

Unhealthy, yes-

but you do all sorts of things with it,

to which he’ll always post on Magicam.

Like you guys make curry instant noodles,

salad with the dry instant noodle bits for salad toppings--

list goes on my dude-

bruh-

and not only that, 

he posts all those like daily life at home (or in this case his dorm room-)

and he’s gonna be posting about E V E R Y T H I N G

From what you both had for breakfast, what you guys did at 3 pm,

Every. Second. Of. Being. Stuck. With. You.

B R U H

“CATER, I LIKE SOME PRIVACY-”

“I know, that’s why I’ll post it in my private account which is my diary btw~”

“First off, your private account has like at least 1000 people in it, secondly, buy yourself an actual book diary, and thirdly, I’m liTERALLY IN THE TOILET WITH UGLY ASS BAGGY PANTS TRYING TO FIX THE LIGHTS-”

“BUT BABE-”

Because of this incident, you bought him a plain writing book online.

You know he wouldn’t like writing with a lot of words,

soooo

Scrapbooking! *Cue the glitter filter*

he has so much fun!

Decorating, pasting all the photos he took with you and printed them out.

He loves it so much! Being stuck with Cater is productive and maybe a little tiring, but hey! Works for the both of you!

Deuce Spade

This boy-

Oh my god-

He’s absolutely so sweet and adorable-

I can’t-

He’s not the best, he knows,

sometimes he wonders why you would ever want to be stuck with him-

but this man puts in more effort than he can to make sure you are comfortable during the pandemic time-

like his cooking went from a C to S class dear-

Although they are egg based dishes, there is

A  w i d e variety in each dish-

And it really tastes good-

But you can tell he’s really tired trying to perfect his dish,

he wished he was Trey my lord-

DONT EVER THINK THAT BBY

YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE VSJVSWEADFGFHFTYKV-

Cuddle him please,

every day at every hour at every second just pleaseeeee

he needs it-

and he wants it-

but is just shy about it-

GIVE HIM THE CUDDLES-

ahem sorry-

continuing,

he surprisingly took up knitting and wanted you to join in after browsing online for more recipes to which randomly stumbled upon knitting basics videos

So arts and crafts time!!! ahh children-

He knits a very simple cloth at first-

which escalated to become scarves, blankets , mittens, sweaters like-

w o a h

Grandma Deuce-

and he also found these charity organizations who sold homemade products online to collect money to raise funds to give to people in need.

Let us put it as it’s not a scam website.

Soooo he published some of his hand made scarves, blankets and sweaters online-

And I swear this man is so sweet I can’t-

“Well, we have to do something to help these people! And they’re giving us a chance to give them our support!”

YES DEAR U ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT

YOU ARE GONNA BE MODEL STUDENT EACH YEAR-

He also used the first handmade blanket he knitted with you as your official sleeping blanket.

With shit tons of cuddles.

Being stuck with Deuce is honestly just so sweet and wholesome.

Ace Trappola

This idiot-

This absolute h e a t h e n-

I just wish you good luck man-

He just absolutely LOVES to prank you.

“ACE WHAT THE FUC-”

“What the fck what?”

“YOU PUT THIS WATER BALLOON ABOVE MY DOOR DIDN’T YOU?!”

“Huh? What makes you think that?”

“WE’RE LITERALLY THE ONLY ONES IN THIS ROOM WHAT YOU MEAN HOW WOULD I FCKING KNOW-”

You just gotta survive by pranking him too.

Also this man-

LOVES

G A M E S

And not just video games,

Oh non no no-

Hide and seek, chase-

ya name it.

At every hour-

You also play virtual UNO with the whole Heartslaybyul gang sometimes-

“WTF GIVE ME A GREEN-”

“AHAHAHAHHAHA-”

“Riddle, lower your microphone level-”

“TREY SHUSH, I’M NOT LETTING THAT ACE BASTARD WIN, SO I WNT THIS STUPID CARD DECK TO GIVE ME GREEN-”

*Pulls a green card*

“FINALLY!”

*You put in the green reverse card*

*Switch back to poor Riddle lmao*

“NOOOOOOOOO, WTF GIVE ME A GREENNNNN-”

“AHAHAHA NICE ONE S/O-”

Cuddles

every night-

moving on,

He’s also the type who will make memes of the two of you when being stuck together lmao-

As for food-

either take out or you cook-

He cannot be trusted with the kitchen-

he can’t take one step in it no joke-

All in all, being stuck with Ace is really just crack level head energy soraing through the sky with his love dovey antics.

[officialgritty]

How I Would Humble NHL Players

An essay written by bigboigritty. 

I would humble hockey players the only way I know how to, by sending them to Australia. Let’s suppose that they have decided to hold the All Star game over here (forget about it’s usual date) (forget that some players I have listed below might not be invited) (and while you're at it, please forget that Australia’s rinks are Not Good).

I think that they would suffer but in an entertaining way so it’s fine. 

First of all, their biggest concern is getting sunburnt. It would effect all of their dumb asses but I’m particularly worried about Pierre-Luc Dubois and Mitch Marner. Boys are practically translucent. Vince Dunn would be fine, he’d probably wear a shirt most of the time which is a very smart decision. 

You may wonder why I didn’t mention Nolan Patrick because I am a certified slut for him, well I don't think he would have a problem. He would spend most of the time inside and when he joins the others, I think his Virgo ass would reapply sunscreen. Maybe he would burn slightly but I don't think it'd be enough to make him uncomfortable. 

Another thing that I think they will gain from this experience is a higher pain tolerance. Now you’re probably thinking, “Zoe they are NHL players so they can handle pain.” Wrong.

Real pain is running barefoot on cement at theme parks while you race to get to the next ride. Also getting into the car and having to avoid touching every piece of metal to not get branded like a cow. Or better yet, when the heat gets so bad that there’s a black out because everyone has their air conditioning turned on.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that other countries have scary animals but I would pay to see them panic over ours. Crocodiles here can grow up to 5.2 metres / 17 feet. We have a box jellyfish season where it’s advised to avoid swimming or wear wetsuits for coverage. Funnel web spiders can survive underwater for hours by trapping air bubbles around their skin. We have several of the worlds deadliest snakes present across the country. 

Listen, I don't want anyone to get injured but the constant fear that they would have when doing anything would be enough to make me happy.

My biggest question is who would survive in the shady areas, who would survive the eshays?

Under no circumstances can you look them in the eyes or cross their path. They are not to be feared individually but in groups caution is advised. I think the players would attempt to assert dominance and that is simply not an option. You are better off to ignore the eshay.

Nolan would have no issues here if im being honest. He is big and I don't think they’d find it worth it to fuck with him. But you know who they would target? Matthew Tkachuk. “Where are you going pretty boy?” “Oi braa did we hurt your feelings ya pussy cunt?” They would make fun of his hair in particular. 

Travis Konecny would be an eshay. I don't think I need to make further comment. (So would Louis Tomlinson but I am not a 1D account and I will continue to repeat that until it’s true.)

I would also give them a few iconic tasks to get the true Australian experience. Activities for the ‘vacation’ include triathlon events, beach flags, bush walking and climbing the harbour bridge. They could attend a cricket match but they tend to like golf so unfortunately they would probably enjoy this :(

AFL is an extremely popular sport here and I think they would loose their shit when they learn the rules of this game. No protective equipment is used other than mouthguards, that's it. That’s all you get. And jumping onto other players for leverage is encouraged. I would thoroughly enjoy the fights that would break out because of this.

Another task would be to use a map to make their way to a servo for a slurpee. The catch is that they will be required to pass through multiple alleyways. Also, the season is Spring, it’s swooping season mother fuckers. Let’s see how brave you are when birds chase you down the block. Personally I don’t think any of them would pass this test, maybe McDavid because the birds may not be able to detect a heartbeat.

Australian food would disgust them, I just know it. Things that they would need to try are a Bunnings sausage sanga, fairy bread, lamingtons, baked beans on toast, Milo and Vegemite. Because I’m me I would give them no butter with their Vegemite. 

An after thought I had was money so I’m editing this to include it. Everything here is EXPENSIVE so they would need to learn how to budget. Upon doing research, Canadians would be fine but the Americans will be mad.

1000 CAD = 1019 AUD

1000 USD = 1297 AUD

Another after thought was the fact that they won’t be able to drive (or at least drive well) here. We drive on the left and not the right, same goes for walking paths too. I can sense a lot of them bumping into people.

Where I think players would live based on vibes alone:

Carter Hart and Vince Dunn: North Shore Beaches, NSW. Daddy’s money. Carter probably did Nippers whereas Vince was a skater boy. 

Travis Konecny: Darwin, NT. Would 100% live there and enjoy it. He would try to conduct crocodile tours but gets assigned to feeding the baby crocs and doing shows for little kids. 

Tyson Barrie: Perisher, NSW. One of the only ski resorts we have to offer, major friendly mountain man energy.

Nolan Patrick: Byron Bay, NSW. @antoineroussel enlightened me, steering away from my original thought of Katoomba, NSW. Byron Bay is a magnet for hippies and links rainforest to the ocean. Chris Hemsworth and his family also live there.

William Nylander: Perth, WA. I don’t know much about Perth other than they wouldn’t shut up about partying while the other states had to quarantine. For some reason, I also associate Perth with Tik Tok. 

Sidney Crosby and Connor McDavid: Melbourne CBD, VIC. These two would live in the same apartment building in the city, Connor one level above Sidney. It’s the most boring looking block of them all and Crosby would send in complaints to the landlord about McDavid pacing during the night.

Tyler Seguin: Surfers Paradise, QLD. Party central, not many people are actually from this area and he would be sure to tell absolutely everyone that he was. I also think he would get a Meter Maid tattoo, specifically on his leg. Has definitely slept on the beach before because he couldn’t find his way home.

Jamie Benn: Hobart, TAS. Tasmania is usually forgotten about. Another one with mountain man energy except he is more creepy than friendly.

Mitch Marner: Fitzroy, VIC. @antoineroussel is responsible for this one too. Hipster central, makes you question how the hell someone so young can have so much money. Would chug $45 wine and not blink an eye.

(honourable mentions include = Sammy Blais: Hobart, Tas. Once again no comment on Tasmania. TJ Oshie: Cairns, QLD. Would do reef tours. Haydn Fleury: Western Sydney, NSW. Haydn would 100% own a ute or a white holden commodore and you can’t tell me otherwise. Roman Josi: Adelaide, SA. Small town history teacher vibes.)

I have attached a handy map for those who may need it.

In conclusion, the NHL should send their players over here to teach them some manners and while they’re at it, management should bring themselves too. Nolan Patrick could pass as an Australian if he built up a tan. (So does Nylander in this picture but we won’t talk about that.) Come over anytime baby, I’m free. 

Glossary

Servo - A service station, also known as a petrol or gas station. Example: 7/11

Theme park - An amusement park. Can be said in reference to both normal parks and water parks and usually means those in QLD. Example: Six Flags

Swooping season - August to October in Australia. When birds attack and chase humans and / or pets for getting close to their babies. Magpies are notoriously bad for this. 

Bunnings sausage sanga - A cheap feed / meal found at the front of a hardware and gardening store called Bunnings. Made up of white bread, sausage, onion and your choice of sauce.

Fairy bread - White bread with margarine and topped with 100s and 1000s / sprinkles. 

Meter Maids - Women who work along the beach dressed in gold bikinis. They top up parking meters to save tourists from getting fined and will often stop for photos. 

Nippers - Surf lifesaving programs carried out for children between 5 and 14. 

Ute - A pick up truck.

Eshay - A person who partakes in drug use, graffiti, listens to EDM and targets victims in groups. Below is the typical style of an eshay. 

Tagging a few friends so this doesn’t completely flop but feel free to ignore if it isn't your thing. I won’t be offended lmao

@scheifefe @ifiwasshawnmendesidslapmyself @d00dlebob @bowenbyram @kempe @prettyboyroope @quintonsbyfield @travisgermy @pitoftrash @kspitehockey @ballsakic @canadianheaters @bricksatlandyswindow @powerblais @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @jamiedrysdales

[evarcana]

Courtiers + Christmas

Sorry, dear anon, it took me ages 😓 well at least I did it before xmas, right?

To avoid the whole discourse about why the bunch of demons and one morally corrupted human are celebrating Christmas, I should say that this is based on the MC inviting the courtiers to celebrate together.

Valdemar🎄😈

Not like they usually pay attention to silly human holidays. But if it is you inviting... “how delightful” - of course Valdemar is coming. The problem is that in their millennia of existence being busy with their research they sort of missed out on what Christmas was about. “MC, don’t give me that look, this is all fairly new”, you don’t even want to what is old for them. But it’s Valdemar so they lock themselves in dungeons and put all their inhuman determination into researching Christmas.

Valdemar’s research is ...advanced. After they excitingly start telling you whether you knew that red in decorations symbolises blood, you decide it’s time to intervene, hand Valdemar list of gifts to buy and encourage them to return to their usual work (who would believe you would ever say it).

They turn to the party/dinner dressed as Santa (or whatever equivalent). Are you shocked? Erm yes... But why are other guests loving it ?! Well they did become sort of xmas expert in less than a week so you guess it’s okay. Expects lots of stories on how Christmas celebrations developed over the last centuries.

Charms your grandma or elderly auntie by being the only person capable of listening about their chronical conditions and actually engaging on the topic. Your little niece/neighbour’s kid loves them too - they expertly removed all those bits of turkey leg they don’t like to eat in less than 5 seconds. Everybody loves them. But Valdemar still spends most of the time telling what a fascinating specimen you are.

When it comes to gift exchange part, you are glad that they only added a few medical books, plague masks and antiseptics to the list, could be worse.., but where is yours present? “You, my little silly duckling, are on the naughty list this year” with this Valdemar gently throws you in their sack grabs you and excuses you both from the party. You try to protest but they only say that they played along for long enough and now it’s their turn to play little game with you. Oh well you can leave early one year, it promises to be worth it.

Valerius 🎁🍷

Every year Valerius receives plenty of invitations to winter holidays parties arranged by the nobles but this is the first time he got invitation to something that personal. Tells you that he needs to check his diary and finally reluctantly agrees only because “there was a rather unfortunate cancellation”. But really in his head he is like “Omg does it mean that I am part of the family now? Cancel all plans NOW.”

Then he learns that you plan to have Christmas dinner/party at your place. The consul of Vesuvia to go to that ...shack?? That’s unthinkable: The party will be in his estate, yes he knows that it’s incredibly generous of him to offer and no you cannot refuse.

And this is when things are getting extra. You know that crazy neighbours competitions whose Christmas lights are brighter and decorations are better? That’s Valerius, although he has nobody to compete with really. The massive xmas tree got delivered from who-knows-where and who-knows-how in 2 days, and there is no red, golden or green decoration item left in stock in entire Vesuvia, oh and some the palace’s best cooks suddenly took a sick leave for a week (no it was Valerius promising them triple wages).

You ask Valerius not to get any expensive presents, otherwise you will feel bad, he did indeed agree that it was reasonable suugestion. Everybody gets presents more expensive than life. The guests surpringly find Valerius a very good host, this might have something to do with those gifts which were definitely extra or with the fact that everybody got merry in like 20 min thanks to all the fancy wine. Valerius is gossip central, argues about politics with your annoying uncle and plays board games with children.

Insists that it would be better if you stay overnight and not travel home late. Falls asleep in chair with drink in hand like an old man. Later that chair somehow migrates to the hallway by the guest bedroom, under the strategically placed mistletoe. Wait, where did red silky robes come from? All planned. Let’s hope that the unfortunate relative of yours is not staying in the same guestwing.

Vlastomil 🎅🏻 🪱

It’s lovely of you to invite him but he is a busy worm man and cannot really leave his children alone. Maybe he can just stop by? “No, MC! Don’t get offended!!”

Then he learns that Christmas is usually about family, does it mean that his children can come as well?? Ugh while you are mumbling something about that worms may not be very comfortable at your place, Vlastomil decides that the Christmas party will be held in his garden so the worms everybody can enjoy it.

Prepare to have a ...thematic Christmas. There is white xmas tree decorated with the shimmery worms and candy canes which have worms wrapped around them. Okay, even you are not the biggest fan of worms you have to admit that the ice sculptures of worms are quite impressive. He even has little nativity scene but with the worms.

Everybody receives crystal tree decoration baubles with live worms inside. Everybody is shocked. Vlastomil explains that it’s only stocking fillers and there are more gifts. (Also crystal baublesare only for transportation, the worms need to be free range, how dare you). The actual gifts are... amazing. Somebody got a scarf that they liked but didn’t have enough money to buy on that day, another person got a album of pin up pictures of snake women even if it was supposed to be a secret interest of theirs and you got that sparkly princess teara you cried for your parents to buy at age 5 but they never did (cmon, x years later, you still like it).

Some little child says that Vlastomil is like Santa with how you he magically read people’s wishes (there there, little one, it’s just the power of gossip), but Vlastomil is vibing: wiggler gets elf outfit from somewhere and you get lots of invitations to “come to sit on Santa’s lap”. Yes you can stay there after all the guests leave (and yes you can keep your sparkly teara on).

Volta 🍪🥛

Was secretly dreaming to be invited since at least October. But is still genuinely surprised when you ask her to come. She asks tonnes of questions: who else is coming, are you sure they would like Volta, what are you going to do, will there be food?

Volta wants to help you with all the preparations. Not like she is super useful but she did dig out from the piles of stuff in her estate and bring you lots of old tree decorations and some nice tableware. She basically spends all your time with you in the build up to Christmas: you decorate the house together, make gingerbread houses (well more like you made one house from the 1000s attempt, they all got eaten before they were actually completed) and pack gifts for everybody.

You warned all the guests that there going to be lots of food this year, and no you finally don’t need to worry about what to do with the leftovers and crying “end me, I am sick of having xmas food for 10 days in a row” because they are not going to be any leftovers. But you didn’t expect Volta to turn up with even more food. “Volta does not want anybody to starve on Christmas!”. She surely eats lots but she is also looking after other people lots, passing them plates with food (just imagine her holding it with both of her tiny hands) and topping up their drinks, she wants everybody to enjoy the dinner.

Everybody at the table is talking of how adorable Volta is, and nobody can even hide tears when Volta presents little hand made gifts that she prepared herself. But Volta humming Christmas carols? How does she even know Christmas carols? This is illegal level of cuteness.

Volta wants to stay to help you to clean up when the dinner is over. It’s quite and it’s only two of you. Oh you might still have some sweet things in the cupboard.

Vulgora🔥🌟

At first super excited to be invited but the next second they ask what is Christmas about and what does it involve. You decorate, eat, chat to people and exchange gifts? That sounds awfully boring to Vulgora. Can they at least smash the tree in the end? What do you mean - NO?!?!

Eager to help too. They need to use their energy somewhere. You are not sure whether it’s the type of help you wanted. You asked them to carry the xmas tree from the market? There are 5 trees in front of the house, one of which is like is almost 10’ tall. You asked them to chop some wood for the fire? Well, there is enough to have a bonfire in the towncentre. But on the positive side, your house is lavishly decorated this year, Vulgora likes the red and golden theme.

Lots of battle stories at the dinner, some of which ...lack xmas spirit a bit. All the gifts are...war themed. Then Vulgora gets bored and wants to fight for the right to cut the turkey/ vegan nut roast, whatever you are having. Oh no. But they can smash nuts with their gauntlets - the guests are impressed and suddenly want more battle stories. On the positive side, it’s definitely not boring this year, Vulgora is load and energetic.

But then suddenly Vulgora suggests you all go outside, when you question them, they say it’s a surprise. It’s hard to believe what you see: they prepared fireworks and sparkle fountains !!! You cannot help but smile watching vulgora excitingly running around setting them all off (but hopefully not setting your house on fire).

You watch firework lighting up the sky with Vulgora hugging you from behind and then..they rugby tackle you to the ground?! Well whether there is snow or not, they want to have a fight. Luckily the fireworks are over and the guests can just...leave you two to it.

[lisbonsteresa]

let me be very obvious and send you nace for the ship ask!

Do it for our besties, Nancy and Ace

absolutely i will besties!!

-

1. Who buys flowers for the other

I mean, Nancy does still owe Ace flowers from his welcome back party... (but also i love the idea of Nancy opening her locker at the end of a hard shift to find flowers Ace snuck in for her. maybe a little note too because ofc he would leave notes)

2. Who makes the other coffee/tea

Ace 1000% - he also makes Nancy lunches and will sit with her to make sure she eats whenever she gets worked up over a case

3. Who eats the most candy on Halloween

Ace (although Nancy will fight him for the fun size snickers) (between him and Ryan the Drew household goes through 4 bags of candy before they get halfway through October)

4. Who tries new recipes all the time

This is kind of a split - Ace sometimes plays around with weird food combos when the Claw's slow (Birdie's grilled cheese and peanut butter actually turned out to be one of his favorites) But Nancy got really into baking after she and Rebecca bonded while Ace was on his road trip, and they still trade recipes whenever she comes over for dinner

5. Who genuinely likes pineapple on pizza

ACE i'm laughing bc i really just tossed that idea into a fic and here it is again...if it comes up again i'm claiming it's canon Nancy absolutely hates it and refuses to kiss him after he has a slice (at least at first....her resistance usually doesn't last too long)

6. Who wears hats on special occasions

Follow-up question: does breaking and entering count as a special occasion? Because Nancy may or may not have knitted Ace his own b&e beanie (Ryan also bought them both Red Sox hats that time he and Carson took them to Boston for a game...it gave Ace major hat hair and Nancy teased him the whole ride home)

7. Who likes ‘90s R&B

Nancy - Ace doesn't have much of a taste in music other than the 70's rock cassettes that came with Florence (but he will listen to anything Nancy puts on)

8. Who likes long walks on the beach

Both - especially at night. Sometimes it's nice to just take a moment away from everything - without any familial conspiracies or spooky shit to deal with - and enjoy the silence together (they also spend a good deal of time on the bluffs. maybe they have their first kiss there. who's to say.)

9. Who buys wacky picture frames

Ace - he particularly likes the ones with big, obviously fake seashells glued onto them (Nancy's bedroom is starting to look like a boardwalk tchotchke shop but she can't bear to get rid of any of them)

10. Who compares themselves to fictional/celebrity couples

Oh, neither. For two people who toss out movie references with ease, they really have almost 0 pop culture awareness. (that being said, if George hears Bess call them the 'Jim and Pam' of the Claw one more time...)

11. Who can solve a rubix cube

Both. Ace can do it in just over a minute (and he's coming for that world record) Nancy can do it in 3 (but only after she peels off the stickers and cheats when no one's looking)

12. Who would wear Hawaiian shirts on vacation/during the summer

I mean.... (Nancy did borrow one of his after a beach day and he had to turn away and walk down to the water to keep his composure)

13. Who wears mismatched socks because they can’t keep up with the pairs

Nancy (unintentionally - she has too many other things to worry about) Ace (deliberately - it works with his style, so he stopped trying to keep the matches a while ago)