#sure i'm a girl but i don't identify with femininity

[let-them-sing-of-others]

eyeing cassgender very heavily. hmmm. i like that label

[ocelotlesbian]

i've been thinking over this aspect of his character for a while now and i think i have enough material to make a post about it, so...

> genderqueer mitsuba!!

an analysis on mitsuba's peculiar gender expression and queercoding! ( ´∀ ` )

full post under the cut!!

before i begin, a disclaimer: mitsuba is canonically a boy, and i'm not trying to say he isn't!! he can be a boy and also genderqueer. genderqueer folks can still identify with the "binary" labels of girl or boy, since being genderqueer doesn't require anything aside from having a queer experience with gender. and as i'll explain in this post, his gender is pretty damn queer!!!

also for the record i myself am genderqueer. lesbian flavor

now, to start off: the immediately obvious.

it's pretty obvious that mitsuba is the most gender non-conforming character in the entire manga. from his medium length pink hair neatly tied up in a little ponytail, to more subtle details like his hands being drawn similarly to that of the female characters & his occasionally drawn bottom lashes, which no other male characters seem to have.

along with his general "you should not ask me to lift heavy objects" demeanor, all these more feminine details serve to make him distinct from all the other male characters in the manga, putting him in a kind of seperate category consisting solely of him.

and this idea of him being in his own seperate category ties in with other important aspects of his character as well!

for sousuke, it ties into how he was ostracized from his peers for standing out too much, and for no.3tsuba, it ties into how he feels alienated from humans & other supernaturals and feels as though he doesn't belong anywhere. if you think about it, it's all pretty analogous with the queer experience!

and going further with sousuke specifically, the turning point of his character arc was his conversation with kou on the stairs, where kou essentially tells him that he didn't have to try and fit into a polite box to make himself more likeable, and he can just express himself the way he wants to. ...i don't think i need to explain how this sentiment could easily be tied in with his queerness and gender expression lol

now i could go even deeper into how queercoded mitsuba's character arc is, but i think i'll leave it here for now.

another thing i wanna go over is the genderswap episode of the after school hanako-kun anime. now, the events of this episode including him didn't actually happen in the manga, so the canonicity is rather dubious. but i still think it's worth going over!!

this episode deviates from the manga by having mitsuba join hanako & sakura in the genderswap shenanigans. in the episode, mitsuba gets hit with the gender reassignment surgery beam and... well, basically nothing happens.

the joke here is obviously the fact he already looks like a girl, so you wouldn't really have to change anything in a genderswap, but the part i find the most interesting is how he himself didn't notice a change whatsoever.

i'm not sure how the specifics of the genderswap robot work, but i'd imagine he'd notice something was up, right? so to me, this scene just hammers in the fact that he's just kind of unnaffected by / outside of most things relating to gender. he's in his own gay little corner, he's immune to this shit!!

so in conclusion, mitsuba's gender is in fact very queered!! his queerness & gender expression is extremely interlinked with his character arc and motivations of feeling othered from the rest of the world, and i just felt like this needed to be discussed. and also i love him lots. <3

end of post!!! thank you for reading my autistic ramblings ^_^

[genderqueerdykes]

Idk if this is the right place to go but I'm not quite sure where else to put this. I'm very sorry if it's not the right place!

As a trans guy, I just have to wonder just how bad my luck is with trans women blogs and my general interaction with trans women IRL???

I'm stating it now that every single person can be an asshole. No matter their gender. I know I'm just having severely bad luck. Trans girls are forever my sisters and I'll back them up if I need to.

But also, why am I only encountering trans women who unironically want to put trans men and trans masculine people's heads on a spike.

I've close genderqueer friends but never managed to become friends with a trans girl yet (I know a few I'm acquainted with, as an art student in college - trans people of all shapes and sizes are a dime a dozen here) because at some point the fact they fundementally hate trans men comes out into the open. It's scary. Why are we in-fighting? Why does my sheer existence hurt you? The cousin of my crush is a trans girl, and she threw such a fit when she heard her cousin was going to go on a date with me. Not that it matters, relationship didn't work out (we're great friends) but I had never talked to this woman!! Ever!!!! My crush just relayed to me at the time that she did not like me because they told her I was a trans guy!!!!!!!

Trans men who hurt them obviously should be held accountable. They're pieces of shit. Again: every gender can be a fucking asshole. But why generalize? Why would you suddenly ostracize me if I revealed myself as a trans guy to you instead of a butch woman when we've had nothing but pleasant conversations up until now?

I feel like I'm being oversensitive, or that I'm making a big issue out of something so minimal. But why are we in-fighting? Why? Why, why why???

you're not being over sensitive, this is a genuine problem right now and it's affecting people in real time. what people don't seem to care about is that this deeply hurts and affects the people who are being ostrasized. which is something people should care about

you're not imagining things or anything like that and your experiences are very important to be discussed. it is quite literally "the right thing to do" or "cool" or whatever to shit on trans men right now. like currently, in 2024, almost 2025, we are seeing now more than ever, people who proudly hate trans men. this is transphobia. people NEED to care. you're not alone in feeling this way. even i feel this way, and i'm an intersex trans wo/man. i shouldn't have to feel this way, i'm literally a trans woman and i'm made to feel weary about other trans girls suddenly hating me when they find out i'm also a trans man because gender is complicated and being intersex is a complex experience

people will gladly openly hate on trans men. we are now the sacrificial lamb. we are now the punching bag. for a while people really hated cis gay men. like really hated them. the "im twinkphobic" shit was literal overt homophobia and nobody cared. everyone was on board with hating cis gay men for one reason or another. a lot of people were calling feminine cis gay men transmisogynistic, or transfem eggs. now things have shifted and its trans men who are the big problem.

rad feminism is taking over large parts of our community and people refuse to talk about it. people are happily rad fems, and a lot of trans girls identify as transradfems, which is just about as transphobic as you can get. it's never progressive to hate someone for their gender. ever. it's always transphobia. i don't know how so many trans girls got it in their heads that rad feminism just needed to accept trans women and trans women only for it to be a good ideology. i've said it before, but the unfortunate truth is a lot of trans women are desperate to feel validated in their womanhood, and some see man-hating "lesbian" women as the most "woman" thing you can be, as it's the "direct opposite" to being a man. trans women will gladly walk down this path for the sake of gender euphoria and attacking trans men because they're taking someone else's gender personally.

it doesn't matter if you don't see trans men as trans- we are. trans men are trans. transgender, transsexual, transvestites- doesn't matter. trans men get called trannies, too. trans men get misgendered. trans men face corrective rape. it's seriously not cool to see trans men as "copying" trans women, or whatever. i've seen people claim that trans men are really just masculine girls, and that it's okay for women to dress masculine so we should just do that instead. i've seen people say that trans men literally aren't trans because who would want to transition into manhood? i've heard people say that trans men just transition to hurt people. i've heard that trans men aren't "real" trans people and "Aren't trustworthy" sources of information on trans experiences

it's ridiculous. people are completely blinded to what the real problem is. the real problem is the queerphobes above us. i'm with you: why are we infighting like this again? what's the point? the entire point of the queer community is to accept people who step outside of the cisheternormative panopticon we've invented and enforced. it's such a broad array of people. not all experiences will be the same. manhood is desireable, just like womanhood. manhood is not inherently toxic. it's not something everyone wants to escape.

i sincerely hope people wake up and start realizing this is doing nothing but helping conservatives, terfs and transphobes. it's not helping other trans girls. some trans women are also trans men. intersex trans women exist. multigender trans women exist. genderfluid trans women exist. some trans women are also men and we're shooting everyone in the foot by behaving this way.

like do people not realize there are trans women who are also men? you're alienating all of these women with all this man hating. you're not just hurting cishet and trans men here: you're hurting every possible group of person. not every trans woman despises the concept of manhood. wanting to transition out of manhood doesn't mean you have to hate or condemn it. manhood being bad for you doesn't mean it's bad for everyone else

i hope you start to feel better soon. you are more than welcome to come back any time, it's really pervasive right now, but we have to stick together and challenge it when we see it. we have to remind ourselves that this is absolutely unhinged entitled behavior that doesn't reflect how trans men are treated in the real world and how we operate and function. it's shitty but fortunately there are lots of trans women who are allies to trans men. it's a very vocal minority that hate trans men that badly

[m-for-now]

As someone who is genderfae (microlabel under genderfluid), I have a lot of different experiences with gender.

I just wish someone told me sooner that it won't go like "today I'm a girl" "today I'm an enby" but more like ,,, "today I am a swamp witch" "today I am a feminine victorian vampire boy" "today I am a forest goblin collecting people's stares about my gender expression like shiny rocks on the ground" "today I'm an androgynous pirate lady"

Like,,, sure, are those real genders? I don't fucking now. If a cisgender person asked me what I identify as that day, would I answer like that? No, definitely not.

But to my genderqueer, trans and genderfluid friends; do you get me? I can't be alone with this, right?

[jyeshindra]

Astrolovations (I)

Hey there! Just noting down some things I observe and connections I make regarding astrology. And yes, I made up a new word. Deal with it.

You can always spot an Aquarius by that look in their eye and a half smile. Like they're judging you, studying you, and experiencing you all at the same time.

More feminine Aquarians give me cool-girl vibes. They're detached and kind of removed from things, but super chill at the same time. Friendly and open but they have and will express their boundaries.

The more masculine Aquarians can fit that stubborn, know-it-all Aquarian stereotype a bit better. These more unhealed Aquarians are so difficult. Fixed air? Saturn and Uranus dominance? This is not a person who will follow other people's rules. A frustrating energy for sure. I dare say it's giving asshole. LOL

Sagittarius and Gemini make a good duo, but these signs are likely to solely be intellectual. Neither sign is very good at feeling. They aren't emotional! And they may talk about emotions...sure! But don't be fooled!

The most important thing to a Sagittarius Moon? Their freedom! They won't do well in relationships where the other is constantly telling them how to live their life and making critical analyses. Remember this sign is half-man and half-beast. That lower half wants to frolick and go wherever it wishes! If it feels pinned down or caged, it'll fight back or just disappear.

Taureans are always listening. These people are super wise and super knowledgeable but they won't be obvious about it like a Sagittarius or Gemini. It reminds me of how earth has this ability to hold things and fossilize things over time. Taurus kind of has this energy. I think it's the receptivity of Venus in Fixed Earth. AND that Scorpio opposition. Both of these signs are super observant and notice the little details. Their intuitive knowledge is gained from absorbing so much over time and letting that information marinate. It's how they both are able to create such amazing foundations for themselves.

I do believe in cuspy energy. But only cause Sidereal exists. A lottt of people are two different signs in two different systems. Cusps feel like the same sort of situation to me. But also...if you have your birth time you know which sign you fall under, which destroys the whole cusp argument.

I actually do kinda identify more with my Vedic chart than my Tropical chart. I see both energies, but my Pisces Sun/Scorpio Moon makes so much sense to me. Especially once I learned I'm Jyeshtha!

Speaking of Jyeshtha...the voices of these natives are usually distinguishable in some way. I think this may be Mercury-ruled nakshatras in particular (Ashlesha, Jyeshtha, Revati) but I can only feel strongly about Jyeshtha with this one. I mean Charlie Sheen...Donald Trump...even Nicki Minaj. The voices are so distinct. Even my Jyeshtha professor has a pretty distinct, raspy voice.

The way trauma has made certain aspects of my chart invisible to me. Part of what makes this practice so interesting to me is how much of my chart is waiting to be lit up by my own future. There's mysteries inside of me I haven't even met yet.

I think the last four zodiac moon signs (Cap, Pisces, Sag, and Aqua) can deal with their emotions in a very existential way. It's almost like they're thinking about their emotions in relationship to bigger/large concepts or constructs. Their perspective is already geared towards a "bigger picture" so to speak. They'll often handle their emotions in an impersonal way too. Aquarius will rationalize it, Capricorn will likely fall into pessimism or suppress it, Pisces may wallow and succumb to existential dread, Sagittarius will also intellectualize or avoid it altogether!

That's all for this round of observations! Stay tuned for the next edition.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi!!

I just wanted to ask some advice from one butch to another.

I recently got my dream job of being a warden on a nature reserve (and i love it!), while interacting with people there I get called a young man very often (i am 18 lol) and it gives me euphoria to know im masculine enough to even pass as a man. I've also had some volunteers ask if I was a man or not (despite my feminine name).

But recently I got called a "lady" outside while out with my mother. It drove me INSANE I cried alot.

Don't get me wrong I do identify as a woman but I hate being seen as a lady.

I've even thought about using he/him pronouns recently and changing my name but i'm too scared to as most people won't understand bc im still a lesbian.

Is this strange?

ps love u and ur blog lots xx

This is an easy answer because I was 18 once and looked enough like a teenage boy that I got "hey sport" and "hey young man" all the time, especially when in my work clothes. I worked for The Mayor's Youth Corp in Iowa City in the summers of my 15th and 16th year. Mom and Dad let me get a work permit AND bought me a used Datsun Pickup so I could drive myself the 20 miles there and back each day.

I was a volunteer with the Corp of Engineers youth from 14 to 16 and Dad knew I was super excited about this job. Mom was not thrilled that I wanted to cut my hair but my "grand mullet" was really hot under the hard hat in the summer heat of Iowa. (in the 1980's boys and girls had the short in front long and permed in back look) We compromised and I cut the sides really short. (photo of my me at 16 in my uniform for reference)

Using "he" would never have occurred to me because "EWWW Boys". This is not to say, however, that I hated being mistaken for a boy, on the contrary, it felt good. When someone thought I was a young man it meant they treated me as such. They didn't talk down to me, I knew they assumed I was capable and willing to get dirty. I knew unconsiously that along with the mistaken identity came many perks. This was nothing I analyzed but little girls see very early on the difference in treatment they recieve from their brothers, male cousins and neighborhood boys. This difference leads us to become negotiators to control our circumstances and not entittled to treatment based on our skills and actual personalies.

When an adult recognized me as a boy, even for a second at first glance, I knew I didn't have to prove myself. They, for an instant, assigned to me words like "strong, capable, demanding etc". No negotations required.

When someone realized I was a girl they literally had a change in their face. They smiled at me, softened their voice. When I was called "young lady" or "Miss" it always seemed to be backed my the worst assumptions (in my mind anyway). Lady is steeped in all kinds of traits I didnt want assigned to me. "quiet, weak, likes to dress pretty"OR "motherly, submissive, meek" Nothing good in my teen brain, that is for sure. Lady felt so OLD, so married to a man and reliant on him for survival, so polyster pants and ugly flats and scratchy blouses with a flower imprint. NONE of these things are inherent to being a woman or even socially forced on us but that is not how things work sometimes. Words that describe people get stereotypes and myths and traits attached to them all the time. Woman and girl are no different.

I can tell you, the best feeling in the world when I was in that job was when my supervisor, who damn well knew I was a young woman, trusted me with all the same tasks as the boys. Who valued my opinions and abilities equally to the young men. He took time to teach me what I didn't know, just like with them and didn't assume I couldn't or didn't want to learn things on the job. He didn't shame ANYONE for not being strong enough or for getting tired or needing a break.

Don't let the assumptions of others force you into another box of conformity. You don't need a boys name or to use any pronouns you don't feel connected to just to please others. In fact, none of that effort will change perceptions of those around you. I can promise that one day being called Lady will just be another word that you can hear and know it does not change your personality or your interests or control the hope you have for your future. What does waste a lot of time and energy is trying to adjust things in your life to fit incorrect or snap assumptions about you as a person. You can never control the thoughts of those around you but what you can do is stop worrying about it and enjoy YOU.

You have a job you love and are sure to thrive in. You are solid in your sexuality and love of women, you are in a unique position to possibly change the perceptions of others when they think of "young women". Your interactions with the public are sure to effect the assumpions of at least some people when they think of young women and their roles in our society.

Congratulations on your new career and I bet you rock that uniform.

[gryphis-eyes]

⊙ ἀγάπη, for you my true love

× who's your next girlfriend~

♤ Welcome to this pick a card~ im kinda doing this pac to celebrate the fact that im finally at peace with my sexuality (and I think that's exactly why I always feel conflicted about the love pac Ive done in the past lol) but I think we deserve more wlw in pick a cards. The person that will be represented in those piles can either be a cis woman or identify as a woman, Ive included the whole ’female spectrum”. In this pac I'll use the myths surrounding the dragon I'll pick to represent your next girlfriend to channel her personality and life story, hope you'll enjoy

Also it wasn't the intention but i did rant sometimes about myths don't worry i'm angry when it comes to dragon slaying lol

♤ Deck used : "oracle des dragons" by secret d'étoile & Illuminated Tarot (dedicated to Apollon, thanks for the gift of divination ⊙)

little note ; i only used court cards and major arcana, it is better to identify someone.

○ Masterlist

Choose a picture of my wife, Marie ;

♀ Pile 1

【Cards】 Tarasque & Dreki + The Sun

The first thing that came to my mind are those people who are really fond of the image of the divine feminine maybe it's something that trully changed their life and view of themselves for the better. She totaly got the vibe of a fertility goddess maybe she is even worshipping one, this woman truly feels like Hathor or Brigid because i've eard "she is like Hathor but in a forest". Please do take care of this sun goddess, this isn't a sun that burn but a sun who nurture and deliver a comforting warmth. Being blessed by their love is like being a cat laying on its back bathing in a warm sun ray (lucky you).

It's funny because the two dragons that represent your next girlfriend aren't your typical dragons, they both don't have wings, they're peaceful unless disturbed and don't seek conflict (yes im on the side of the Tarasque fuck those peasants) in this oracle they're called Dreki and the author went on their interpretation of them but it's actually referencing to Lindworm who are dragons that are closer to snakes and who aren't dangerous at all as they feed on dead bodies or random animals. But for those two dragons, once they've encountered men Humans they're instantly considered a menace due to their appearance. The Dreki, as described in this oracle is a dragon that is almost invisible due to their closeness with nature and wilderness by that i can imagine that your next girlfirend is probably shy but i do think it's more about reservation wether they started doing it because of how the world treated them or just because it's their nature. Honestly i'm pretty sure that for most of you, your futur girl is so close to nature some are probably witches or at least worship nature or a deity/spirit who represent the element of earth, the forest and fertility (it can go from Artemis to Demeter or just the fairies). She is very patient and nurturing, probably have the cosiest home you'll ever go to or she has the power to make anyone feel cosy, i know she gives wonderful hugs but you have to deserve them because~

Let's get to the Tarasque side, you can consider it a dark side but i honestly think it's something she's grown into, the Dreki feels like their true self while the Tarasque is probably their "outside appearance". In its legend, the Tarasque attacked annyone who came to close to its territory, it was a furious and scary creature many talks about how terrifying she looked. Just with this part of the story i can see how the world have treated this woman, probably pointing fingers at her pointing out anything that made her different or maybe she's just not conventionaly attractive. Of cours the villagers (her whole surrounding) just wanted the dragon to be slain but one day Marthe (it can be you or someone who's a true friend to her) came in the town, she saw the potential of the Tarasque and not just a furious monster of devastation, lady Marthe appeased the Tarasque and treated it gently. Sadly once Marthe bought the Tarasque to the village those stupid monkey brained peasant decided to kill it in vengeance despite the dragon being now tamed and calm (i'll be salty forever by the way apparently this town sucks now SO GOOD FOR THEM)

With this part of the story i can have two scenarios , this is either the story of your meeting so you'll meet her when she will be in a really lonely place, probably stuck in the place that hurted them (because hey it's not that easy to leave). Or they've already been through all of this and now she is far from those people who harmed her but of course it has consequence on her and her personality so she might come off as rude people might even say 'rude' but don't be stopped by their tough exterior, it's not a mask but an actual outside image of them. Kind of like a bear i've heard, some will think about the fact that they're aggressive and dangerous but actually they're quite cuddly and protective, look at interpretation of the Bear card from Lenormand i feel like it does represent your person quite well or simply what bears represent in your belief system.

Be gentle, be patient because it's not a woman whom you can approach just out of curiosity you'll actually have to seek out in the forest to find her in their most natural habitat and who know maybe she'll charm you. la petite fille de la mer just started playing when i got to this part like wow she is so dreamy i feel like she could hypnotise you like the fairy she is~

my best wishes for you and the fairy princess

♀ Pile 1

【Cards】 Ladon & gargouille + The Sun

It's quite funny that you also got the sun to describe your woman but i sense her to be quite far from Pile 1's girlfriend. She strike me as the sun but in the way of Apollon who represent it, she got a bright side that is bold but warm, she inspire a lot of people as much as she intimidate them because Ladon is the dragon (a kind of hydra) who ended up being turned into the dragon constellation (what a star). And just like Apollon she also has a really dark side, a side of the sun that we often forget about, she is a furious & burning star alone but shining on the world both nurturing and devastating. Your girlfriend is kind of a punk i must say, probably very active when it comes to injustice that just make her blood boil. She probably made herself a lot of enemies but she doesn't care, yes she is alone but she is confident in it (tho i can guess that the loneliness can be heavy sometimes) i can also say that a lot of people probably hate her out of jealousy because she is free and independant while other people are probably too insecure to do anything she does. An other thing i got is that she doesn't care about dressing how she want or being provocative in general "just because she can" i've heard, after all gargoyls are made either scary or provocative in order to scare off evil (like the gorgon images) she assume all of her choices and so she doesn't mind any asshole who come up to try to put her down because if she ever falls on the ground she'll get up to go as high as the stars.

In the myth, Ladon has been slayed by heracles (it's an heracles hater account by the way) during his labours but thing is, Ladon's death has been quite the scandal and made the nymph really sad above of that the dragon was protecting the golden apple tree (thank you for being useless heracles). I can interpret this for your futur girlfriend as her being just protective and supportive of other women (the nymph) but probably about minority in general (the apple tree represent multiple things to protect that are all linked togheter), since the nymph adore Ladon to the point of crying its death she is probably quite popular amongs the girls. Now for the heracles part i think we can all imagine what he represent when you think about the image of your futur girlfriend, (cis)men 100% hate her for sure and some might have been pretty violent about it (what can you expect from such primitive creatures after all).

After being slayed, Hera took Ladon's dead body and made it into the now known as the dragon constellation and the nymph all cried the death of the beast. Your girl is alive don't worry i'm not predicting any death ! I can interpret this part of the myth as despite her being put down by abusive figure she has found the right people for her and who helped her being her true self or just going back to her true self after a big trauma (i mostly get woman figure or a group of woman at least). I can also imagine that as her having a big presence only and so a big supportive audience with some haters.

Your girlfriend actually remind me of Marie, the girl i picked for the 3 piles image so maybe you'd find her interesting maybe read her wiki page or read Innocent (her full name is Marie Joseph Sanson) tho be aware it's a quite violent and dark manga it's not for everyone/every age.

♀ Pile 3

【Cards】 Ouroboros & Quetzalcoatl + Judgement

What the hell ? What have you done to pull out some goddess like that i think you'll date a litteral dragon. This woman has experienced high highs and terrible "death moments" i'm definitly getting someone who's into witchcraft/spirituality but not your little crystal collecting girly oh no, here it's someone who's actively practicing it. Think of the women who worship santa muerte or who are following any chtonian or chaotic god or spirits (like dragons why not). This person kind of remind me of a female version of Griffith but before he became the most problematic character on earth. She looks angelic, like a savior she probably gives wonderful advice and help people get out of wild situation she if harsh in her messages if needed but everything she does serves the ouroboros (the cycle of life and death) most people have met her when being in very bad state as she came by to remind them about the cycle of things or just to shake their world a bit so they start moving again. Tho this angel might be a bit lonely since it's probably really hard for her to find people who match her energy, she isn't afraid of her solitude and darkness because she choosed it, she just fly high knowing that one day she'll meet people or at least someone who match her vibe or who is at least not coming to her while beging for help.

This person is a leader and a messenger she is probably really good with divination it might be her go to thing for everyday trial. Quetzalcoalt was against human sacrifice and with the ouroboros i can imagine that your next girlfriend probably have been through a long and painful cycle of self sacrifice, her surrounding has probably preached how wonderful and how you have no choice but sacrifice yourself for the sake of others and that you should just suffer in silence. Your futur girlfriend said no and stood up against this victim mentality because true freedom cannot be attained when being pushed down to the ground by people, her place was amongs the clouds in harmony with the element of air. She come and goes like the wind, i sense that she isn't particulary extraverted but she doesn't have problem when it comes to interacting with people so she probably speak to random people everytime she goes out however she is quite the loner or at least she is really distant from her friend group, maybe she is very different from them so despite getting along she can't fully give herself to her friendship like she wish she could.

Quetzalcoalt has been betrayed in his myth, again i always sense that your girlfriend's life trial has been made into whole cycle so she could observe and live the problem in all its angles. Has amazing as it sound, this person has suffered a lot through those cycles, yes they come out strong and still standing but don't understimate the pain she went or is still going through, after all Quetzalcoalt killed himself with fire and only his heart was left and became the morning star. I can interpret this has your person using their past experience to teach others about life's pain and how to overcome them but sadly no ones does it for her, it's like she is the first one who always step in dangerous zone to be faced with danger so the others don't despite her fighting to stop this "sacrifice cycle".

Despite being strong they probably needs some company to light up their day (wink wink)

⊙

[masochist-marmot]

I hate the Naoto gender discourse

TW: transphobia, gender dysphoria, Naoto Shirogane

First of all, I think it's entirely valid to read whatever you want into fictional characters. Art is meant to be interpreted and to evoke something in the audience, and while it's useful to consider the author's intent, it's just as valid to interpret the text on its own.

In Persona 4, the intended reading is this: Naoto is and has always been a girl who wishes to be taken seriously in her male-dominated field. She confuses these feelings for identifying as a boy, and it's up to our party to set her back on the straight path and accept her role as young woman. Rise is incredibly eager to chastise this "young lady" immediately after learning about the reality, and throughout the game we are helping her to be more comfortable with being a girl. This is quite straightforwardly what the text is saying.

How many fans (me included) see the text is this: Naoto displays signs of gender dysphoria and struggles with their gender identity. Even after you have talked them out of a literal gender-affirming surgery (performed by a mad scientist, because why not make it extra scary to boot), they continue to present as a boy. During the rest of the game as well as Naoto's social link, you and your party can continue to push femininity on them. They're forced into a swimsuit contest, where they refuse to show up on the stage, and Yosuke says he knew it would happen. If you want to date Naoto, you have to pick the options where you tell them you like them as a girl, even though you get more social link points if you say their gender doesn't matter. This implies that Naoto is more comfortable with the way they present now, but feels that they have to present more feminine if they want to date you (which sounds like heteronormative bullshit to me). It's probably not difficult to see why this would make some players uncomfortable.

Now to the point of this post: There's a big (or just vocal?) portion of the fanbase that will call you media illiterate or delusional if you bring up your discomfort with how Naoto's gender was handled. And I can't stand it. As I demonstrated above, I know what the text is saying and have a problem with it. Media literacy isn't just about recognising what is being said, but also why it's being said. And Naoto's character arc displays well intentioned ignorance and heteronormative values at best, and malicious TERF-like ideology at worst. I'm inclined to believe it's the former, as the game and the series more widely don't seem to have a malicious intent behind them, although they certainly have other uncomfortable parts (I could make a very similar post about Kanji).

So why do so many people have an issue with the trans Naoto reading? Well, in games like these, players tend to form strong emotional connections to the characters. I'm guessing that for a lot of people it's important that their waifu is, well, a waifu. (I'm personally too pan to understand this and will advocate using "waifu" as a gender neutral word.) I'm sure some of it is annoyance with the notion of the interpretation contradicting with canon, which is apparently law. People feel like you're projecting something onto the text and not getting the intended meaning. Which feels like a weird point, since everyone is projecting some of their own feelings onto any text. And then there's your good old transphobia that manifests as a myriad of rationalisations (including the one about canon being law). I usually try to understand where people are coming from, but some people can't be reasoned with.

I don't have a conclusion, I just had to get this out.

TLDR; Stop bullying people who choose to view a character through a different lens than you do, and please practice your empathy and critical thinking skills.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA if I break up with my partner because I think I'm lesbian?

(🪿🫧 To recognize this) this is long, I'm sorry

I (23they/she) have been with my partner C (24they/he) for a little over a year. Some background, I grew up strict Mormon and am still struggling with the internalized homophobia from the teachings of the church. I currently identify as biromantic asexual because I have a hard time with sexual experiences. I have only ever been with people assigned male at birth, all previously cis/het men until my current partner. C identies as Bisexual and has stated previously that they don't mind never being physically intimate sexually.

Recently ive been thinking about afab or feminine adjacent people, no one specific just like day dreaming about a girls and it made me feel a way I never have before, including with previous partners. This is leading me to suspect the only reason I have a hard time with being intimate with previous partners is they were all amab or at the very least just very masculine including C.

This is where I could potentially be the asshole. C has some previous experiences with previous potential partners saying they didn't want to continue citing they're actually lesbian. This has left him super jaded. Especially after they later found out one of them ended up in a cis/het relationship the next month.

He and I have had a rocky last few months due to his housing situation and sometimes lack thereof, job hoping, and not being medicated for bipolar, and me being off my anxiety meds due to new prescription.

He has stable housing and a job now, and I have stabled for the most part myself. I did in the midst of all this bring up the possibility of just being friends due to previous issues and I tried to bring up me struggling with my sexuality. He promised to fix his issues and kind of ignored the issue about my sexuality because he didn't know how to respond to it. He kind of just explained it away.

The problem is, a lot of his friends are my friends too, we work at the same place, and he relies on me a lot for transportation and sometimes monetary help. We don't live together because I'm living with my parents until I go to school. I'm worried about losing our friends or making working together bad.

To be clear I do care about them a lot, he's one of my closest loved ones but I'm not sure it's in the way he wants it to be, and I don't like hurting them, I hate the idea of him not being in my life. He and I are both autistic as well so its kinda hard to really understand what this whole thing means or how to handle it

Any advice is also welcome

What are these acronyms?

[lylahammar]

(Feel the need to state this up front: I'm bisexual, afab, kinda cis but also kinda trans, nonbinary isn't the word I'd use for myself but... alas, it's the only one people recognize as a general consensus)

I've started to understand why the term sapphic is more appealing to some people, but it still really bothers me as a descriptor/category. When talking to a friend about it (she strongly prefers Sapphic as a term), I started to sus out why:

The vast majority of my initial exposure to the term was always attached to something... aesthetic? Stories or art or music, but of a specific *type*. To the point where it gained a hyperspecific meaning of a period or historical setting, "gay woman trapped in comphet marriage and needs to be saved by bold lesbian", young girls fooling around with girls with no need for commitment because everything is fleeting and nothing is permanent and choices dont matter... on their own, these are perfectly fine narrative choices and are fun to play in sometimes, but they sure start to just seem... repetitive and restrictive and borderline fetishizing. To me, it reads as a term specifying that the love women feel for other women is the only kind allowed, that it's true and pure in a way the love a woman feels for a man isnt, and that her true self can never be realized without admitting she was in love with women since the beginning and was always supposed to be. Achillean gives me the exact same vibe.

On the other hand, my friend feels the term is *less* specific, and to her it allows *more* room for people who don't identify strictly as feminine or as a lesbian, for her it just is a broad umbrella term that allows for any variation of girl-identifying-person who likes girl-identifying-people.

Ultimately, I don't think she's wrong, and I don't know that my interpretation is right. But I think I've been exposed to a.... imma call it a "hyper-aggressive romanticization" of a particular way of existing that just puts me on edge in a way that's hard to explain to people who don't feel the same way about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with romanticizing something like that it's just that... for me, who still identifies as a woman despite being om T, who is married to a cis woman, etc... it feels ironically exclusionary and fetishizing, and mostly feels fantastical and escapist, rather than grounded in anything real.

TL:DR, it feels like a book genre, not a usable term/identifier

Ohhhhh okay I see I wasn't sure if there was something actually problematic about the term that I wasn't aware of, that sounds like it's just a preference based off of the vibes of the way some people use it

honestly I prefer sapphic and achillean because the terms "wlw" and "mlm" are so clunky and hard to say and sound goofy in my brain lmao not to mention the fact that mlm has a separate negative meaning that gets mixed up a lot

and the term "lesbian" is very specific and doesn't apply to all women who are attracted to women

so like....... idk I guess it sucks that some people have given the term sapphic a bad association for some but I'm gonna keep usin it if that's the only reason why bc I don't really care about all that and if ppl know me then they'll be able to tell that I'm not being a weirdo about it lol

[velvetvexations]

And I can absolutely guarantee you no one would give a single flying fuck if a trans woman replaced a trans guy in a meme comic with herself. Because it's no big deal, and it's simply about finding something to be mad at the evil "TMEs" about or whatever. Truly, we must fight transphobia at the front lines! (Other trans people parodying meme comics)

Absolutely not lmao. But then it's fine, because, like, trans men are privlaged, so stealing their memes is like pirating a Disney movie, whereas stealing a transfem meme is practically snatching the food right out of a Victorian orphan's hands.

Are you not excited for the future where art styles are trademarked?

I'm still not entirely sure if I identify as a kinna non-binary or if I just feel myself to be a very butch transfem who likes using certain terms for myself to emphasize the unique nature of my femininity.

But I don't know what else to call it except for exorsexism when I get the five millionth side-eye for "AMAB trans woman," especially since I know people would go off the edge accusing me of being a TERF twenty times more if I said "male" like I actually want to.* Like, dadgum, can people not handle a girl choosing to identify in some way with a term traditionally associated with her body-type because she likes it without assuming she's another Blaire White?

Like this is that soul-gender shit I get riled up about, the word "male" isn't real! The ♂ is not a magic rune that wards against femininity! I can choose to identify with that and still be a woman, and when I enter a women's space while identifying openly as a male woman, that's going to piss TERFs off more than any of them ever could.

*I also identify myself as an AMAB trans woman to support AFAB trans women and other transfem folk, but I think using 'male' would do that just as well too

I DIDN'T KNOW IT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH TRANS PEOPLE EITHER

Eyyup. The safest queers always pretend the world outside the community is completely hypothetical so they can get down to the crucial business of praising them for breathing.

The comparisons to acephobia at least gives me hope things will get better, but I hope it's fucking soon.

It's the closest people who're privileged enough to care about meme theft get to dealing with things like that, of course it's basically the same to them, if they stepped outside their gated community for a second they'd have a religious experience like the Great Renunciation of Siddhartha Gautama.

Some day we'll find out what number comes after one.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Why can't haired people make their own memes? Why must they consistently debald the memes of bald people?

It's different when it's transfems because, uh, well, radfems say so.

They really can't help themselves.

Apparently it's hypocritical of me to call that racist, though, because I once told a tankie to bark like a dog without even looking at their* profile. Like, I'm sorry I very generically insulted someone who turned out to be Black, I guess.

Also, I apparently harass Palestinian blogs, which is truly wild and I can only guess must come from me occasionally bringing up hypocrisy when I yell at tankies for being enthusiastically pro-genocide when they feel like it.

*I do not recall the pronouns this loser used

The issue you're noticing is that transfems don't get socially murdered nearly often enough for transradfems to sustain themselves, and they can't influence any real issues, so they have to make up problems to fuel the martrydom that places them above all other trans people.

Oh, that sounds spectacular! Kinna gross, but like, in a spectacular way!

They don't think it's possible for AFAB trans people to detransition, to them it's all just cis women pretending to be trans to rip them off and hurt them.

It's real fucking bad.

I'm very sorry anon, and I completely agree.

You'd be surprised by me not liking most modern art.

I'm really happy you have that, and that we can relate to each other. <3

Are Black people saying the "why this _ mad" meme is exclusive to Black people? Is that discourse that's happening?

[princesssarisa]

Some thoughts on "Little Women" and the "Little House" books

In the endless discussions by Little Women fans of the issue of "Jo vs. Amy," I've noticed a slight recurring theme, both when Amy's defenders discuss Jo and when certain Jo fans put Amy down. It's the idea that the books' narrative inherently favors Jo and is biased against Amy. That Jo is the character whom readers are clearly "supposed to identify with," as if Louisa May Alcott expected most of her young girl readers to be free-spirited, ambitious tomboys who struggle with gender expectations. And that Amy's portrayal is "negative," or at least that we're supposed to view her femininity and love of refinement as slightly silly and annoying.

Not too long ago, I found similar sentiments in an essay by a woman writing about her childhood experience of Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books. She wrote that she never identified with spunky, tomboyish Laura, but as a girly girl and as an eldest daughter who felt pressured to be "the responsible one," she related more to Mary. Then she complained that the books seem to expect readers to identify with Laura, and that we're "not supposed to like Mary."

I'm not sure those claims ring true for either of these literary works.

Both Little Women and the Little House books are autobiographical. Louisa May Alcott based the March family on her own family and Jo on herself, while Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote explicitly about herself and her family without changing the names.

In Little Women, I don't feel as if Alcott expected readers to identify more with Jo than with the other three sisters. Yes, Jo gets the most emphasis of them all, but that's because Alcott personally identified with her. Likewise, in the Little House books, Laura is the protagonist because she was the author. It's only natural that she wrote about her childhood from her own viewpoint, not because she thought readers would relate more to her than to her sisters.

Nor do I think Little Women is overly biased against Amy. Is her portrayal complex, and does it reflect Alcott's complex relationship with her sister May? Yes. Does Alcott use Amy to make fun of May's childhood foibles? Yes. Does she make it clear that May often drove her crazy when they were young, and does her envy of May's charms and social life sometimes bleed through the text? Of course! But none of it seems really mean-spirited; her affection and respect for May also come through clearly. Besides, she's just as willing to use Jo's foibles to make fun of herself.

And in the Little House series, do we really think Wilder set out to insult the memory of her beloved and by then deceased sister Mary? Just because she was honest about their childhood sibling rivalry and made readers feel for her envy of her "perfect" sister doesn't mean she wanted the readers to dislike her.

Maybe I'm giving these authors too much benefit of the doubt. But "An author writes about her own family, makes herself the protagonist, and honestly portrays both her closeness and her sibling rivalry with a sister who was very different from herself" doesn't inherently mean "The author expects all readers to identify with her self-insert and dislike her sister."

[xxskyethetiredemoxx]

I used to identify just as trans, no specific identity, and went by they/them pronouns. And everyone just assumed I was non binary, even though I never said that. And I hated that, cause I'd specified to people that for me it was a questioning stage, but I didn't want to be referred to as she/her or perceived as a girl, so I made sure people knew I'm trans. But they still assumed.

I haven't come out to most people yet, cause I'm still choosing a name (I'm not gonna be using the one I use here, that's just a name I was considering a while ago), and I don't wanna come out but still go by the same name (which is also a REALLY feminine name)

[genderqueerdykes]

I've been thinking about this for a bit, and sorry to bring up a more recent queer discourse, but like. I swear that I saw Plenty of people talking about being both transfem and transmasc (I think I even saw a word like transfemmasc thrown around a couple times?) long before the AFAB transfem discourse happened. And I suppose that could be me having a biased view or even that the identities were more popular and thus garnered a backlash from exclusionists because of that, but it makes me sad. Like, I know it's a much more obvious and glaring issue with the discourse that it's a clear symptom of the queer community's intersexism, but it also feels sad that in all the discourse, I feel like I never saw people bring up that like. Some people are just multigender like that, man. Or have unconventional perceptions of their own genders. And that's not evil?

Like, I think I remember one of the things that kicked up the discourse was somebody who had formerly identified as a trans man calling themself transfem after figuring out they weren't a trans man, and I mean. Sorry for not doing gender essentialism, guys, but I understand that completely. If biology doesn't define gender, then we've gotta allow for people who investigate their gender and come to the conclusion that they are their gender because they say so, not because their sex says so.

And I'm sure you're aware of this, but sometimes multigender people (example: me and one of my closest friends!) are trans for all of their genders. I only got comfortable with being feminine and occasionally being a girl once I figured out how to do that in a way that feels comfortable for me, so it definitely took some exploration to get there.

Sorry if this is nothing, I just have a lot of thoughts and you seem like somebody who'd understand them. I think it's really sad that even the trans community is so heavily binaristic.

this is something, you're okay, no need to apologize

ive been trying to formulate my thoughts on this for years honestly, so thank you for this message. sometimes i need to bounce my thoughts off someone else to create a dialogue in order to express how i feel about something. it's important to consider both peoples input.

the reality of the situation is a lot of people just refuse to admit that multigender people exist. at all. and that their transness shouldn't be looked at through a different lens. no one has ever said that non amab trans women are experiencing the exact same trans womanhood, that's not what multigender people are trying to say. multigender people aren't trying to replace amab trans women or talk for them. people jump to that conclusion because they are conditioned to take things in bad faith and catastrophize

people also fail to consider how race affects gender in the united states, and other countries with highly mixed populations. in areas with highly white populations with certain minority groups, it is so common to get misgendered by white people constantly. a lot of white people view racial traits as gendered and screw with how they perceive their genders. so many people get masculinized or emasculated or misgendered because of how white society views physical sex and racial traits

people also pretend intersex people just don't exist when this conversation comes up. some intersex people were assigned female at birth. intersex people can identify as afab if they were in fact assigned female at birth either via invasive procedures, or putting that gender marker on their record, doesn't matter. it's really shitty to ignore any and all intersex people. people who participate in these arguments just fail to bring up intersex people when it comes to transfemasc and transmascfem individuals, not that it's intersex exclusive

and people completely forget that amab trans men and transmascs exist, like its painful. its real. we're out here. i was assigned male at birth then had an invasive procedure and was switched to afab, including forced estrogen hrt in my teens. still was literally assigned male at birth. and many other people are, perisex, intersex and otherwise.

it boils down to misogyny no matter what because it's about shitting on afab people, yet again. like doesn't this get old? it's old. it's like, ancient, at this point. why are people finding hundreds and thousands of reasons to hate afab people in specific? can we have this conversation like this is genuinely scary, why are people doing this? like this is because of rad fems hating people who do not align with what their idea of what an afab person "should" be, like, they think it's okay to shit on other afab people who aren't "women correctly," that's where this comes from. it also comes from how patriarchal society views afab people, and binarist people, and gender essentialists, and bioessentialists, and gender critic als and like... fucking everyone else at this point

people are just picking each other apart for the dumbest reasons at this point and it's time to stop. stop engaging with it, stop listening. delete the messages. move on. make yourself something to eat. lie down. drink something. stretch your legs. check on your pets. talk to your neighbors. like please. anything but picking on people who already have a hard time in life as is. most afab people get paid less, get treated very poorly in medical instutitions, get treated like they're dumb, get treated like they're incapable at their jobs,

like... you can't sit here and then tell them that they're not trans or trans "wrong" or unreliable. people still parrot the "trans men aren't men trans men don't exist nobody wants to be a man you're being trans wrong" people still say that trans women are the only "Right" way to be trans. can we stop this?

it's all a waste of time. leave transfemasc and transmascfem people alone. as long as someone isn't trying to speak for another group they don't occupy, or over them, let them exist. leave them alone. if you don't focus on your circles, you will forget about how much it bothers you in time. people need to understand that something that irritates you vs. something that violates your rights is a pretty significant margin. if it literally just pisses you off, feel that anger, and walk away. you can be pissed off. just the best thing to do for your mental health is to just. walk away

thanks for this message, i really appreciate it. take care for now, feel free to stop by again any time!

[barbthebuilder]

Hello hope you're having a good day!

I just wanted some advice on understanding if I'm nonbinary or genderfluid. I like wearing short shorts and looking feminine from time to time. I like wearing makeup and I like my reflection but it doesn't really seem like me. I don't know if I'm making sense right now so I'm gonna try to explain it better.

I like girls and when I look in the mirror I see someone that I'd be attracted to but I'm just not sure that it's me. I like looking pretty but I don't like being pretty. I'm also really confused about it.

I don't like identifying as a girl but I like being “girly”. I love getting my nails done, I love putting on mascara before going out, I love being someone's girlfriend but I don't like being seen as a girl.

I hate it when someone addresses me as a girl but sometimes I don't really mind and I'm not sure if its because I've been in the closet for so long or its because I'm actually genderfluid.

If you have any advice on how I can figure it out and what you think it could be I’d be really happy to hear your thoughts.

Also, I want to thank you for your blog it really makes me feel better about my identity.

Love ❤️❤️

First of all, sorry for taking this long to respond!! I had so much going on lately and I wanted to give the best advice I could.

I think we will start with identifying that is gender expression and what's gender identity.

Gender expression is someting external. It's how you choose to display yourself, express how you feel. Things that can be considered part of gender expression: painting your nails, having specific hairdo, your name, your body language, pronouns you go by, the way you speak, your voice, your clothes, jewelry etc.

Gender identity is how you want to be preceived by yourself and others. It is who you are. It's more internal.

You described you like being girly (gender expression) but you don't like being called a girl (gender identity). It's important to understand that those two things can exist and don't contradict each other. You can be a feminine man or a masucilne woman. Nothing weird about that.

You said you don't know whether you're genderfluid or you're just used to being called a girl. I would recommend trying to get in touch with your internal self. What do you feel when people call you a girl? Would you rather be called differently? How would you like to be preceived? You can check that every day and see if it changes. I recommend writing it down somewhere. If you want to get specific with your emotions I recommend emotion wheel - it's a really good tool for naming and specifying what you experience.

If you're afraid your parents are going to find yozur graph and question it you can make it a code. Be clever.

Rememer, that labels are for you. They serve to make your life easier so don't let the concept of labels make it harder. If something feels right, go for it. You don't have to perfectly allign with other people's experiences and you probably won't. Ask yourself - what label makes me happy? What presentation feels right?

Also, if you want to go deeper with the "like looking pretty, hate being pretty" bit you can do this trick: write down what are the differences between those two concepts. Which of them is internal? Which of them has to do with how others preceive you? Which of them has to do with your identity?

That's all I can think of to say for now. If you have any doubts, feel free to dm me or send another ask :) good luck on your journey. May the gender euphoria be upon ya <33

[humbuginmybones]

When Reverend Jen of Fundie Fridays said "I love the girly aesthetic, but I'm not sure about my gander." I was like, holy shit, that explains my gender identity.

(I don't know if anyone who follows my blog watches the YouTube channel Fundie Fridays, but go do that!)

As someone who was born with the sex female, accepts she/her pronouns, enjoys makeup and feminine clothes, and loves to use tags like 'tumblr girl' or 'girlblogging', 'girlrotting', etc. Yet, identifies as Genderqueer... And tries to feel the freedom, that's really emblematic of my own journey. It's hard, and gender is such a spectrum, with so many words to describe it - God, I know this is only the beginning of the language to describe my identity.

Thanks for reading!