#sure i love uhhh Real Estate

[souptomatobasil]

Taraxacum - Part 1

[teethkid67]

hi hi i Also have gone through the block party tag today and. oh my god it is so fascinating. i would love to hear more about techno and his big fuck off jeep if you'd like to discuss it but honestly it's all so interesting in general

need to draw a bptechno....

similar to how he was used in canon when he first joins, bptechno operates as a protector of sorts for pogtopia tommy and wil... its how he became an eaglescout boyscout survivalist nerd type idk how to explain it.

he moves in (courtesy of our awesome real estate agent sam) and. idk. offers his arsenal. hes some sort of combined history/military/survival buff who thinks this whole situation is, frankly, stupid but is enjoying watching and awkwardly offering consolation to tommy (mentally unwell) and wilbur (mentally unwell-er) . he brings them rations and tends their stupid cave campfire and wakes tommy up for school on mondays.

technos big fuck-off jeep (which i have not been able to stop saying) was as previously stated a sort of silly idea that evolved into a serious take .. i like to think block party is a modern au on acid with so much blood .... but yes hes one of those vigilant paranoid types i think. and as a result he has many things to protect himself and shit . this includes his huge armored car because he believes it is necessary living in the suburban midwest. hes got guns and knives and shit, hatchets and is generally prepared for almost anything that could come at him. bro wears combat boots everywhere . i think he still dyes his hair. hes a little bit of a weirdo

so yes he offers his weapons and shit to the lmanburgians and then they win and im not sure what his motivation is but eventually he runs his huge armored car through the front of the (l)manburg house :3 weird man swag

butcher army is really fun. they attempt to murder techno (i think they shoot at him or try to like Stone him to death medieval style? its silly and also its been a second) and uhhh he runs to erets house after that (bc thats the bp final control room) and uhhh slashes through quackity's face with a garden rake. exter exter read all about it here

hes painfully socially awkward hes resourceful hes a little bit unhinged. he has a street-illegal armored car with attached machine gun and everybody is dead silent about it. hes worn the same brand of boots since he was 16 and he can only cook boxed&canned meals. hes a little freak and i like him a lot

[lultimagoccia]

A small, folded "form" was left in-between the pages of the most recent manga that Pizzano liberated from Dandie's apartment.

Your name: Dandelion Micia I guess??

Romantic or platonic?: UHHH--

A night in or dinner out or an activity?: I'm all for nights in but we could also maybe go to the arcade for gaming and karaoke or something?

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: Ice cream. Chocolate strawberries are a lot of work. :'3

What's your perfect date?: I guess I never really think about it, but I'm easy to please. I like listening to music and staying in, cooking or getting takeout and just spending time together. (Weed is optional.)

Would you cook for me?: I can cook for you sure! :) If you like comfort food I make a chicken risotto that fucks severely.

Would you let me cook for you?: Can you cook? I wouldn't mind if you wanted to.

Can we make-out?: LMAO I meannn....>///> Ye.

Make out in private or in public?: Private please. Public is too public.

Do you like to cuddle?: Yeah. ;u;

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?: Blankets are good but optional!

Couch or bed?: Bed has better cuddling real estate and like I can set up my laptop and we can watch movies!

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?: My music! My drawing! And taking care of little plants!

Tell me something about you no else knows: I've been on a motorcycle once in my life! But it was when I was little and my dad said "Dani don't you get on that bike because the muffler is HOT" and I didn't listen and did it anyway because I am DISRESPECTFUL. (My fur never totally grew back along the inside of my leg cuz I got second degree burns and I hid it from my parents for a week hahaaaa-- ಥ‿ಥ)

Why do you want to be my valentine?: Idk man you're probably gonna be out partying but. If you get bored, we could hang out.

What makes you a good Valentine?: I don't really know. I guess because I like to make people feel valued? Doesn't have to be a romantic thing. I just think everyone should feel a little loved on Valentine's day.

rp muse valentine’s application. [ x ]

dandie do you want him to show up at your apartment at 3 in the morning again because this is how you get him to show up at your apartment at 3 in the morning again. except like he'll bring some chocolate edibles or somethin' romantic like that.

[wolfythewitch]

Have you or anyone else written anything for the lightning in a bottle AU? I’ve already fallen in love with the concept

Uhhh I'm not sure if I'll ever write for it tbh, I know bun is planning to write a few drabbles or something but that's up to them haha

For now I'm just gonna post some doodles here and there, and it's pretty much free real estate if anyone wants to try and write it kekw

[yardsards]

time for more “projecting my aroace identity onto infinity train because this show makes it so easy to do so” posting

so i already like to headcanon tulip as aroace cuz i see a character i enjoy who has no canonical romantic feelings and say “it’s free real estate”

but i recently rewatched the crystal car episode and i saw a lot of what i personally interpret as aro coding (heh. coding.)

so when we see tulip sing songs that she sees as emotional and enjoys but doesn’t really connect to in a way that’ll open the door, they’re all love songs or breakup songs

when we see her trying to figure out emotional song topics, all of them connect back to love

(there is also familial love and social issues and following dreams mentioned, but none of those ones are ones that the writers chose to show her singing onscreen)

when she realizes the song has to be something *she* connects to, she starts listing things she cares about and none of them are at all romance adjacent

(not bothering with screenshots here bc the lines are all separated) she lists:

“Uhhh Programming is cool and... I like my friends, and, um... onions, and... the first three bites of pancakes, and... I like getting new textbooks at the beginning of the year before I'm sick of school again, and road trips, and... [smiles] Huh. Road trips. Heh.”

The song that makes her emotional and makes the crystal react is about a non-romantic subject and reminds her of fond memories with family

the song she sings then is a real-life song called "word up" by cameo (though she only sings the first verse)

...i was gonna say "the full song has no mention of romance" but i just looked up the lyrics to be sure (cuz it's been A While since i'd heard the song and i never really payed that much attention to the lyrics) and what i found was EVEN BETTER. a verse that appears later in the song says

"We don't have that time

For psychological romance

No romance

No romance

No romance for me mama"

like. come on.

in conclusion: she is aromantic, your honour

[charlotte-headcanons]

The secrets of Charlotte siblings: Part 2 (Flampe, Daifuku, Pudding, Zuccotto, Newsan, Custard)

Headcanon-heavy! If you’d like to see any specific siblings in Part 3, feel free to request. Askbox always open for requests and chatting, enjoy!

Part 1 

Probably the biggest secret that Flampe hides is her regularly botching the vote count in her King of Big/Little Brothers/Sisters award competition. As a matter of fact...she doesn't get all that many votes, and many little sisters are way more liked than her. Sure, she is a noticeable persona, but most sibling (with few exceptions including Perospero) don't enjoy her presence. She lies even to herself that everyone loves her, though; because that's what she wants and it allows her to keep her self-esteem intact.

Related to that, Flampe keeps secret some of her motivations for hanging out only with the popular siblings and being outright rude to the unpopular ones. See, it's a kind of popularity-by-association thing; she kind of hopes that being, for example, Katakuri's favorite will make her more popular too. Meanwhile, she also doesn't want to be judged for associating herself with the less-liked siblings in the slightest. She can't risk it. Not with her ambitions.

As we discussed somewhere before, Daifuku isn't too likely to ever admit his fears and weaknesses. One of the greatest fears he has but can't ever admit... Has to do with his position in Totto Land. As a father, the treatment of their fathers he observed makes him seriously afraid. He doesn't know if he's useful enough, he doesn't know if one day his own children won't learn the truth and decide to get rid of him... He doesn't even know if he'll survive Mama's next hunger pang. Survival and self-preservation are very important to him and neither is a certainty in Totto. So, he's afraid...but HELL NO he'll never admit it.

Despite his overall mini-personal-rebellion against Totto Land's matriarchy, Daifuku hides one more embarrassing secret: that is, that he finds strong women capable of overpowering him so hot. This doesn't fit together with anything else he says publically, though, so he never admitted this even to his own wife. Yet.

Pudding holds a secret on top of a secret that's on top of another secret. First, there's her 'evil' side persona. Then, there's her trauma, actually despising how Mama treats her (and hating Mama, let's be real), plus having actual positive feelings towards others, when they happen (like towards Sanji).

Besides all these canon secrets, though, we'd headcanon one more small thing Pudding hides. To gain the trust and admiration of the Cacao Island population, she might sometimes allow for some destruction of the buildings on the island to later rebuild them and be credited as a savior. This, along with covering her eye and acting all sweet, allows her to not face any opposition for stepping in to lowkey manage the island in Lola's place.

Zuccotto doesn't like to admit that the black on his arms isn't sleeves - it's his body hair. For all the tolerance of different species Totto has, he has heard comments about it pretty often, and he'd rather not deal with them; so, he wears the cape to make it seem like a part of his clothing from afar.

For a tough guy like he is, Zuccotto also really likes to bake. While he takes pride in his self-sufficiency and cooking, he finds baking to be a bit embarrassing, especially since his favorite part of the process is decorating the cakes - something that doesn't match his rough-around-the-edges image all that much!

Newsan's secret is pretty much known by anyone who knows him more closely, though strangers may still be fooled. That boy has a problem and his problem is picking up every single stray animal he sees off the street and adopting it. He keeps them in a special house with a large garden he bought just for that purpose, making sure that the pets get enough space; the house is far enough from any other estates that he can walk the animals when necessary without many people noticing that they belong to him. The decuplets all find it pretty funny, and many let him lie to their faces about it without calling him out. It goes like: "Sorry I'm late I was feeding my...UHHH myself"; "Sure Newsan-nii. Sure you were."

Custard was always a delicate girl. Sure, the ideal of a woman in Totto Land is the closest to Smoothie or Mama herself: strong, badass, independent, and imposing; but Custard never quite felt like it was her thing to be like them. Still, she has a great desire for being accepted; and so, she played along, fooling many that she's badass and actually not gentle at all.

Deep down, though, she really wishes she could lead a normal, calm life with her husband by her side; without having to fight or deal with the whole madness of a pirate lifestyle. She wouldn't even mind being a housewife, and she'd also really like to adopt a bunch of children; but as Mama prefers biological kids and she doesn't have an excuse of not being able to deliver those, she can't really argue for an adoption so far.

[sinnabee]

What would your dream house look like?

LIKE A TODDLER DESIGNED IT

fr fr anon i want my house to look like a real estate agents WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE

EVERY room will be a different, BRIGHT OR PASTEL color. NO fucking neutral tones, anywhere!!!!! NONE, IM TIRED OF GRAY AND BEIGE

i’ll finally be able to add wall-mounted SHELVING, and CAT FURNITURE!!! like, wall-mounted platforms and rests for the cats!!!!!!!

there will be GAY SHIT EVERYWHERE. MY MOTHER WILL NEVER ENTER THE HOUSE

and i especially especially especially want to let all my fandom and nerd shit spread beyond my bedroom!! i want mikus on the fucking mantle, i want anime posters and art prints from cons everywhere, i want my silly knick-knacks and tarot cards and witchy-aesthetic stuff and space things ALL OVER THE PLACE. i want bookshelves filled to the brim with books but also with figures, and transformers, and cool rocks i collected!!! CANDLES all around!!! i want to paint murals on the walls, put glow in the dark stars on the ceilings!!!! have what might almost seem like too many blankets but is ACTUALLY not quite enough!!!

and i want it to be a place where everywhere i look i am just happy. because it’s finally all the silly things and choices i never got to have or make for YEARS and i don’t have to feel embarrassed or ashamed about it or be grown up about it or anything except enjoy it. a place for me and my friends and my silly little hobbies and my quirky little loves.

sorry to go off on you anon i uhm uhhh. i just. i think about having my own house a lot. i’m saving up for it, now that i’ve got my big kid job, but it’s definitely gonna be SEVERAL years off, hopefully when the housing market chills out a bit. but;;;; yeah.

it’s not just gonna be my dream house, it’s gonna be my house. i’m gonna make sure it happens, one day. :)

[neerasrealm]

lj request here give us the soft fluff s/o hcs we need in life

OH ABSOLUTELY

He is extremely loyal. Not like "I'd never cheat on you" loyal but more "I'd go to the ends of the earth for you" loyal.

He's very, VERY big on PDA and affection in general. He'll always use pet names and pester his s/o for hugs and hand holding.

His pet names include stuff like "love", "darling", "sugar", "sweetheart" and "dear"

He has his own room but he only sleeps there a few days of the week. He likes cuddling his s/o while sleeping

If you nap on the couch you're free real estate just saying

If his s/o is smaller than him then he'll prefer being big spoon, but if they're bigger he'll practically beg them to hold him

Speaking of bigger and smaller s/os

If they're bigger their lap is free real estate. Sure there's a couch right there but. Lap.

Smaller s/os will get yanked onto his lap and cuddled. This is not optional.

He's a big tease sometimes. If he feels like it, his s/o will have to earn that kiss

Compliments GALORE he's absolutely smitten with his s/o no matter what

He is extremely soft. Good for hugging.

Yes he will carry his s/o if they ask or allow him to.

Or if he just decides to throw them over his shoulder, that too.

Despite how goofy he can be he'll always secretly keep a close eye on his s/o to make sure they're doing okay

If you're not doing okay you're getting cuddled and kissed until he can make you laugh again

He absolutely loves listening to his s/o speak. He'll listen for hours.

Yes he will show you off. He's loud and proud about the person he loves.

Always giving you heart shaped candy. He thinks it's romantic ok.

He loves giving his s/o gifts. He'll learn everything they like to find or make the perfect gifts

He loves to sing for his s/o. Hope you like accordion music.

He loves kisses. Both giving them and receiving them

Speaking of singing, he also loves dancing. Especially with his s/o.

He'll make fun of his s/o for getting flustered and then get flustered and defensive himself like 2 seconds later. Dumbass man. Absolute himbo.

Uhhh I can't think of anymore but now I'm 🥺 I love one (1) dumbass clown ty for the request

[koushisun]

-fighting over the blankets hc’s-

request: “UHHh hi again luv ❤ I thought about this in my head for like EVER 😌rent free in my head🙈🙈mK haikyuu boys ahem. OIKAWA, KUROO, KENMA, SUGAWARA, AND SAKUSA. (aged up cough cough) fight over blankets in the bed 🤧 love your WORKRKTVFJSBRHSNBFYJIGD.”

a/n: ahhh!!!! thank you for requesting! this is so cute!!! and thank you!!! i’m glad you like it!! :)💖

warnings: none

OIKAWA

he 100% hogs the blankets in bed

it’s just a fact

the night starts with the comforter in a normal position

but as soon as he starts to get comfortable

he will pull the sheets so much

and it’s like one solid yank too

he will not give them back of his own free will

you have to hog them back

just really put him in his place lmao

cause he definitely knows what he’s doing

if you pester him enough, it might get better

but no guarantees❤️

KUROO

i think he’s normally pretty good at sharing

but if he’s had a particularly rough or long day

he becomes a lowkey blanket hog

but i think it would be pretty easy to just tug them back over

he might try to resist a bit

but a couple of tugs will do the trick!

he’s probably cuddling you anyway so there’s not too much to worry about blankets-wise

he’s a real sweetheart about sharing blankets, surprisingly!

KENMA

he’s a sneaky blanket stealer!!!

you won’t even realize what happened

you’ll just suddenly be cold

and then you look over and see where all the blankets disappeared to

and it’s lowkey hard to steal them back

not because he won’t let go of them

but just because he looks so comfy and content that you want to let him stay like that

i mean how can you say no to him!!🥺

i don’t think he entirely realizes what he’s doing

he just likes being cozy :)

SUGAWARA

will not let you get away with blanket stealing!!

he demands an “equitable division of blanket real estate”

he actually said that to you

and he was 100% serious

so if you ever hog the blankets, he will not be afraid to steal them back

if it becomes a problem, he will literally buy an oversized comforter to compensate lmao

will try anything he can think of to keep his share of blankets

SAKUSA

impossible to steal blankets from him

he wants his fair share and he will have it

no blanket hogs here, sorry

but he probably has the nicest sheets out of everyone

high thread count, hypoallergenic, freshly washed, you get me

so it’s probably hard at first to not steal the blankets

but he makes sure you learn quickly sksjsks

[killyourrdarlingss]

I asked chat who out of the far cry villains they'd have dinner with and I went so into detail and now I'm gonna post it here cause aahwjsks I PUT TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO IT....

Anyway more under the cut of me rambling

Fc3:

I wanna be that bitch and say Vaas. I wanna fucking say "yeah Vaas maybe" and be blind to the fact he would see me and sell me on the spot, so like, no, maybe not Vaas

Vaas I feel I could distract w a movie, Saw or some shit and be like "Look how fucked up this is" and he'd love it? Because fuck it now it's dinner and we hit it off so we'll (in the universe where I don't get sold) were gonna watch horror movies and laugh at them (also I feel this is every Vaas/Jason fic ever lmfao.) but yeah I feel I could get along w him.

Buck....... I would get along w cause he's a sly bitch, I'm I'm sly bitch and like if I didn't know? He was YKNOW fucked. I would just get along with him since I straight up get along w Australian people, they're just cool lmao. So yeah I'd probably get Kidnapped but Buck would be fun.

Hoyt? Uh. Uhh. Yeah no. I think I'd take one look at him and make up such a bad excuse and run. He's scary but not as bad as Joseph? Joseph is like... so annoying and whispers and it'd piss me off but Hoyt would YELL and it's like. A nightmare. I feel if I didn't know about him tho, I be slightly weary but he's got money so. Yknow.

Fc4:

Pagan is a yes but also I feel he's so intense and his food taste would gross me out so bad and he'd probably kill me because I rolled my eyes and that pissed him off or smth like. ... there's no winning, I could just drink. A lot. He knows how to party for sure and is a dramatic bitch ? Out of all the main bads he's like a 50/50 chance or not dying and I can take that chance, I don't think he'd scare me tbh but I would be so intimidated.

Yuma is def a no, I love her so much but she's so intense I think I'd just cry. She'd also probably offer me a drug and I'd just have to refuse and the thought of it all is just too much to bare tbh. Chance of dying is lower since she seems super chill... just super intense.

DuPleur ... is just? A dude? And I'd stay away from him cause like, he's for sure like okay looking but uhhh fam idk... he's just... eh. I would decline any invite to go out w him.

Fc5;

Joseph scares the fuck out of me, to be honest, and if he tried to get philosophical I would simply LEAVE cause I don't go here sir, bye

Jacob is super charming and I'd get way too interested in military stuff since I was also a military brat, so maybe. I feel we could bond over that

John? I don't wanna think about him, like he probably knows how to party and stuff but the thought of talking real estate w him makes me wanna die. So like. Eh. He doesn't scare me as much as Jacob or Joseph.

Faith??? Is sweet, but she'd probably poison me and give me to Joseph and like I can't have that. Also she's SO valid for like being so pretty and stuff, but girl, I can't deal with your family I'd rather not. Also, her struggles are so different than mine?? We can't even connect so like. Next

Bonus FCND;

Mickey and Lou MAJOR YES LIKE LETS GO TEAR SHIT UPP GIRLSS. They would be the most fun to hang out w... let's go clubbing I've never done it but I know they could convince me

Ethan........ gonna be real I would probably accept a date w Ethan cause he's attractive and like lol daddy issues ? Hi. Literally he could tell me his life story and bitch and I'd be like "that's cool I'm gonna eat but you can keep venting this is a chill space no judgement here." I know I'd survive it cause lmao it's Ethan. But also, he looks just like Adam driver so I'd just fall for that super easy.

New Dawn Joseph is a major no since he's like old asf and I wouldn't even give him a second look. I would wanna hear about how he used to be a cult leader and stuff, that's funny asf, tell me more old man :^) but like honestly ?? If I had to. I would LMAO.

Dennis in any game is an awkward mess who wouldn't show up on time, piss me off and end up crying after 1 drink. 0/10

[jaysdimples]

🎮 30 Questions Tag Game 🎮

i was tagged by my babes @casnextdoor & @deepseavibez ❤

name/nickname: jada, jay, sunshine(reserved for my close friends)

star sign: pisces

height: 5'4 or 5'5 lol im never sure

birthday: march 4th

favorite band: bts, ateez, txt, everglow, dreamcatcher, twice, chloe x halle, little mix, boys world, citizen queen. i wanna say paramore, sleeping with sirens & pierce the veil as well but i haven't kept up with them for a few years 😔

time: 4:01pm

favorite solo artist: doja cat, cardi b, normani, beyonce, megan thee stallion, kehlani, giveon, bruno mars, becky g, victoria monet, chung ha, cl, j cole, jackson wang, hyolyn, kendrick lamar, rihanna, miguel, jhene aiko, tinashe h.e.r. & literally so much more lmaooo

song stuck in your head: you broke me first by tate mcrae (im a sad bish lol) & wild side by normani and cardi (im a wannabe dance bish 🤣)

last movie you watched: honey (the fuel to my love for dance)

free space!: uh hi lol umm im that person that's like very creative but has trouble actually creating lol i have a real deep love for literally anything artistic: singing, dancing, drawing, writing, etc. it just makes my heart and soul feel so warm whether i have the skill or not.

last show: the vampire diaries

when i created this blog: whew chile i wish i could tell you lmao i have no clue

what i post: i reblog art, aesthetics, quotes, bts-related things and my friends' works as well as posting my own work. i also act very chaotic on main lol

last thing i googled: burger king lmaoooooo

other blogs: nope this is my one and only 😊

do i get asks?: yes ive gotten asks, mostly from dee uwu 💓

why i chose my url?: i triple bias joon, hobi & kook and they can all be referred to as "jay" and they all have dimples lol it also turns out that i have some not so noticeable dimples so there's that 😅

following: i follow a lot of people and blogs lol but i hold my babes close to my heart (they know who they are.. i hope lolololololololol)

followers: 160 (idk when tf that happened but i also feel like a lot of those are p0rn bots that i never blocked lmao)

average hours of sleep: lol no more than 5

lucky number: 7. it seems cliche but it's always been my favorite number growing up & then i found out that it's my angel number so it just seems meant to be 👉🏾👈🏾

instruments: i own a keyboard and an acoustic guitar. do i know how to play either of them? no lmaooo

what am i wearing?: white bodysuit/top, salmon pink pants, white adidas high tops & a rose quartz charm pendant

dream job: uhhh im not really sure lol i mean im studying to go into real estate & im working in customer service right now but that's not the dream

favorite food: chicken nuggets/tenders (im babie lmao)

tea or coffee: coffeeeee lol it tastes better than tea, i drink both though

nationality: american unfortunately

favorite song: halo by beyonce, it's a bitch for me to sing cause that woman's vocal range is insane but i still love the production and arrangement of it. absolutely beautiful.

last book i read: boyfriend from hell by jaime quaid.i know they say don't judge a book by its cover but it was the best decision i made when i bought the book lol they revamped the cover tho (i hate it lmaooo)**

top three fictional universes i would like to live in: the vampire diaries/the originals/legacies (such a fckin badass universe), teen wolf (the amount of stiles fanfics i used to read on wattpad is insanity) & the house of night book series

**here's a side by side of the book cover i saw vs the revamped version that i hate lol

tagging @dreamcatcherjiah and @myghobi ❤

[knylinphd]

inosuke x fem!reader | proper outfit [sequel]

inosuke hashibira x reader

female reader

The boys come back from their meeting with the pillars, and they encourage Inosuke to confess to (Y/N).

no warning

I said I didn't have any idea to write a sequel when I published the first part, but I got one so here it is I love my baby boar boi inosuke...

that ended up longer than my usual stories but it's inosuke idc he deserves it

        ''She's gonna kill me, she's gonna kill me...'' Inosuke kept muttering on his way to the future pillar's house. Of course, her haori was going to get dirty, that wasn't a problem. But he had torn it open, trying to fight Zenitsu yet again, and that was something she would be mad at. ''You're the one who started it, I didn't mean to-'' Zenitsu started, but Inosuke cut him off by groaning. The boar boy knocked on the door, and a little boy opened it. ''Grandma ! Oh, no.'' He was surprised -why was she gone again ?

''(Y/N) ! It's Inosuke !'' The boy said ; not that he had seen the said teen often, he was rather young -which meant he was new in the household. He had seen him maybe 2 times ? The 3 boys entered in the house, and (Y/N) walked to them, greeting them. Immediately, Inosuke tensed up. ''Do I look that sick you're scared ?'' She asked, arching an eyebrow.

''You're sick ? N-no, I can't tell, I-I-I... tear it off.'' He said, showing the hole in the haori. The girl simply stared at it, taking it back. ''Hm, I knew giving it to you would end up in a mess. There's a reason you don't wear fucking clothes, hm ?'' She wasn't really asking him, but she just put the haori somewhere else, giving the boy his boar head back. Meanwhile, Suni hugged Zenitsu and greeted the other boys, giving them some fresh and clean clothes.

''We prepared your beds already, you just have to take a bath and eat !'' Suni said, proud of herself. ''Why are you so proud ?'' Tanjiro asked, a smile on his face -he really liked this house. ''Because (Y/N) is sick, so we did it ourselves ! Grandma isn't often home nowadays, so (Y/N) was supposed to be taking care of house.'' She explained.

When it was time for dinner, Inosuke had forgotten about the chapsticks already. ''I hope you didn't eat like that in front of the pillars.'' The girl said. ''Of course not.'' He replied. However, seeing the look on his friends' faces, she understood that he lied. But she was too sick to deal with it.

The next morning, however, she felt much better. Not enough to yell at Inosuke nor train, but enough to take care of the kids and to wake the boys up. Once she was gone, Zenitsu grinned at Inosuke. ''Are you going to kiss her today ?'' He asked. The boar boy groaned. ''I don't even see the point of it. You spent 3 whole days explaining what that was and I still don't understand why you want me to do it.'' Tanjiro giggled. ''Didn't you say you would've preferred to sleep in a room with her than with us last night ?'' And that single sentence made Inosuke groan and hide his face. Then, they got ready and put on their usual clothes.

While Tanjiro and Zenitsu spent their morning playing with the kids, Inosuke went outside ; (Y/N) was laying against a tree, reading. He put his mask on top of his head, without hiding his face ; she had some biscuits with her and he was sure going to eat some. He slipped under her arms that were holding the book, his head against her chest. ''What are you doing ?'' He said, and how he slipped made the girl giggle. ''I'm reading.'' She said, not taking her eyes off the book.

''Can I take some biscuits ?'' He asked her, trying to meet her gaze even though his back was facing her. ''Wow, you asked ! Sure, go ahead then.'' She said, laughing. She didn't have to tell him twice. Inosuke was looking at the pages of the book as well ; there were some illustrations with it. ''What's written there ?'' He asked, pointing a line. ''I'm not there yet, but 'she loved him, because she knew she was sad whenever he was gone'.'' Oh oh, maybe that line was too real.

''Did you write that ?'' Inosuke asked, which made the girl burst into laughter. ''No ! I don't write books !'' She said. But he was genuinely confused. ''But you're sad when I'm not here, so you love me, right ?'' (Y/N) coughed. ''It's not the same ! I'm sad whenever someone's gone for a long time.'' Now, she looked serious ; Inosuke had turned so he was now facing her -even though he was laying on her- and could see her expression had changed.

''You know I didn't mean not to see you and the kids. I just got hurt badly and we had to stay at the Butterfly Estate for some months.'' She nodded. ''Oh come on, you weren't that mad when you sent me to the hunter exam ! I could've died.'' He said, his usual angry tone back. ''As if.'' She simply replied, not taking her eyes off her book.

But as Inosuke kept yelling that close to her face -and was now moving too much his head so she had to move the book to be able to read- she stuffed a biscuit in his mouth. That managed to actually shut him up, and he started to eat more biscuits, leaving her alone. Finally, he slowly drifted to sleep, hugging her. They had always been close, maybe not as much as one sleeping directly on the other, but maybe the barrier between them had changed enough to allow it.

''What ?'' Tanjiro asked Zenitsu, who was frozen in place, his eyes widened. ''L-l-look !'' The blonde gasped, pointing to Inosuke sleeping directly on the girl. She had fallen asleep as well, after some minutes. ''Inosuke's sleeping on her boobs ! It's the best pillow that has ever existed !'' He said, jealous. ''How do you know ? You never tested it.'' Tanjiro said. Zenitsu groaned, but quickly ran back inside when he saw a little girl walking to their friend and the girl.

''(Y/N) ! We've prepared the food ! I don't want to wake up the scary boy...'' she whispered. But she managed to wake up (Y/N). She thanked her, and shook Inosuke a bit to wake him up -his boar mask had fallen, so she started to scratch his scalp. ''We have to eat. We slept for a long time, I'm sure we're not going to sleep tonight.'' She said. He woke up like nothing had happened, and went to eat.

''Zenitsu wants to marry every girl he sees. But he knows you're friends with Inosuke and he doesn't want him to hurt him.'' Tanjiro said, eating. The children were eating in another room, mostly because they didn't want to bother the 'big ones'. (Y/N) laughed. ''Do you even know their name when you ask that ?'' Zenitsu frowned. ''No... I don't even kiss them.'' The girl laughed again. ''Kissing is not important if you don't even know their name !''

''Have you ever kissed anyone in your whole life ?'' She asked, right after. ''... No. But Tanjiro hasn't kissed any girl neither !'' Zenitsu said. ''Maybe, but he's not trying to marry them.'' She replied. ''Have you ever kissed someone ?'' The blonde asked, grumpy. ''Yeaaaah, once ! It was weird, I didn't try to do it again.'' She replied. Inosuke threw whatever he was about to put in his mouth. ''UHHH ?! AND IT WASN'T ME ?!'' He asked. He was sat right next to her. She snorted. ''Well, obviously not ?'' He gasped. ''Who it was ?!''

''Katsuki.'' He growled. ''KATSUKI ?! ARE YOU KIDDING ?!'' Oh. The blonde was enjoying the show. ''Yeah like, we were childhood friends and when we were like 15, we wanted to know how it felt like. But it was weird.'' She said, as if it was normal. Tanjiro hummed. ''It's because you didn't like each other.'' The girl nodded. ''Yeah, I think so.''

         ''BUT I'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE ! IT'S NOT FAIR !'' Inosuke kept yelling. ''Well I had my first kiss at 15, you're 15 too now, go kiss someone.'' The girl replied. However, the boar boy let some words slip : ''No ! Cause if I have to kiss someone it has to be you !'' (Y/N) arched an eyebrow. ''Why ?'' Inosuke simply froze, his face turning red, and started to stuff as much food as he could in his mouth to avoid answering.

        (Y/N) had to go to the other room to help the kids, and it was the moment for Zenitsu to laugh at Inosuke's blushing face from some minutes ago. ''You want to kiss her ! You love her ! That's why you don't want me to marry her !'' He said. Inosuke frowned. ''I thought you had understood that last time we were here.'' He replied. ''But she loves you back, doesn't she ?'' Tanjiro asked. ''I don't know, she let me be close to her.'' Inosuke was thinking.

          However, Zenitsu, even though he could be very annoying sometimes, was still his friend. ''She had an arm wrapped around your shoulders while you were sleeping. She must love you back.'' Tanjiro smiled at his friend's statement. Inosuke blinked a few times. ''Really ?!'', ''Yeah, you should ask her to kiss you.'' Tanjiro replied.

          The brunette knew she would be confused or even laugh if he was asking her. But he knew her, and he knew how to make her kiss him. That's why when she went to the boys' room to wish them a goodnight, he threw a pillow at her. ''Old woman ! You have to teach me how to kiss !'' She arched an eyebrow. ''17 isn't that old.'' She simply replied. ''Whatever, we're not old like you, we don't know how to do that !''

         She giggled. ''Why ? You wanna kiss each other but you need help ?'' Inosuke growled and ran to her. She had noticed he was going to run after her, so she had started to run around the house as well. At some point, she stopped, stopping him too by pushing his chest when he had caught her. ''The kids are sleeping ! The kids are sleeping !'' She whispered.

         ''I need to know how to kiss !'' Inosuke explained. ''With me ?'' He nodded. ''Why don't you kiss me then ?'' (Y/N) asked. ''Well, I've never kissed anyone before, you're the experienced one !'' She snorted at the word he used. She wasn't really experienced like he claimed. ''Okay, then !'' The girl said. Inosuke blinked. ''Really ? Like that ?'' She nodded.

        ''I've taught you a lot of things, I can try to teach you that. I don't know much myself neither.'' She explained to him how to do it. ''... Like I have to chew on your lips ?'' She laughed. ''God, no ! Please, don't do that !'' After trying to explain better, he nodded, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

          She put an hand on his chest to support herself, and grabbed his cheek with her other. Then, she kissed him -at least she tried to be better than the first time she had tried. When she pulled away, Inosuke's eyes were widened. ''Can you do it again ? I'll be better, I'll do it like you !'' He said, as if he wanted to beat her.

         Thus, she did, and this time, Inosuke kissed back, putting his hands on top of hers. He even closed his eyes ! When she pulled away, she had a huge blush on her face, because he had gotten into it, much more than she had. He grinned at her reaction. ''So what ? I was better than you ?!'' The girl nodded, slowly, staring at him. Inosuke laughed. ''AHAH ! SEE ?!'' But suddenly, (Y/N) found her composure again. ''You're going to be sick too.'' She said. ''I never get sick.'' He replied, making her chuckle.

         After a moment of silence, he spoke up. ''It wasn't weird, right ? It felt... nice.'' He said. The girl nodded. ''Yeah.'' He grinned. ''Monchiro said that if it wasn't weird it was because of love ! So I was right ! You love me !'' He said, triumphant. ''But you love me too.'' She replied. ''UH ?!'' Inosuke groaned, that usual shocked face he does. ''Maybe I do ! So what ?!'' His eyebrows were furrowed, and his head was turned to the side. Still, it was obvious he was blushing.

          ''When you'll be a pillar I'll see you more often, right ?'' He muttered, quite fast. She nodded. ''Yeah, but I hope it won't be because I have to save your ass.'' She said, which made him bite his lower lip, pouting. ''If you're stronger in fights, I'm stronger in kisses anyway...'' He said, which made the girl laugh. ''Yeah. And it's late, Inosuke. Go to sleep.'' She was about to walk away, until he gripped her hand, tightly. ''Only if we kiss again ! I'm so strong at that game !'' She giggled. ''Sure !''

         That said, he pulled her close to him, cupping both her cheeks before kissing her. ''I promise I'll see you more often, just like before I became a hunter !'' The brunette said, quite calm. He was rubbing his thumbs against the girl's cheeks, which was pretty calming, even for him. She nodded, putting a hand on top of one of his and resting her cheek against it.

          ''I can't believe he got a girl first !'' Zenitsu whispered, crossing his arms. ''Well, he has been knowing her for a long time. Maybe you have to meet a girl and in some years you'll be able to kiss her.'' Tanjiro said, trying to comfort his friend between some giggles. Suddenly, Zenitsu gasped. ''Oh, Nezuko-chan ! In some years I'll kiss her !'' The boy frowned. ''No. Not her.''

[dyketectivecomics]

With Cry of the Huntress wrapped up, I’m gonna be taking a good long break from this read to switch over to the Brubaker/Cooke Catwoman run. But before I do... Let’s do another round of Thoughts™

(usual tw for canon typical violence mentioned)

Renee

a Return of Scarface features her Debut, and!! Underwhelming start for her character tbh, but these things tend to be that way. First intros for minor characters are usually underwhelming when they don’t know if the character will catch on

altho while i was Supposed to be reading for Renee for those early issues and I got SWEPT UP on the melodrama of Bruce/Vicki I CANT BELIEVE IT

on first glance, Renee is clearly meant to be another voice for Jim & Bullock to bounce off of. No-nonsense, one of the few “honest” cops etc etc. Too early in these issues to get a feel for her character, given that there isn’t much of one. Rucka really did see her and say “its free real estate” didn’t he fjdlaks;

Steph

So far only got to her First Time Spoiling! and i love her already fdjakls;

i mean sure i ALREADY loved her, but omigod she was so READY to kick her dad’s ass. AND BATMAN SHOULD’VE LET HER FJDKALS;F

a little sad that i’m not gonna see her again until Tim’s robin run, but that’s just the nature of the beast *sigh*

Lonnie

he showed up again!!! for the Annual!!!!

on one hand LONNIE YES bc he had SUCH good intentions, even while he was blackmailing the mayor but like can we Blame him? i think not

and on the other LONNIE NO bc he was using the eclipso diamonds to blackmail the city with which :/ lonnie honey noooooooo

anyways, i love him ur honor lmao

Helena

when we left helena, she was making it clear that she was heading to gotham with uhhh the kid from her solo... which.... okay yeah they just dropped him entirely so i guess i have to assume that he was put in the foster system like they originally planned but???? *note for future randy, actually DO something with that instead*

she puts on her costume again and starts patrolling Gotham streets and Bruce is NOT havin it (which lol)

they team up to stop a gang or w/e, thats not as important as by the end one of them has a suicide vest (usual Yikes™ here) and helena makes the split-second decision to drive him away from the crowd and barely escapes the blast herself.

batman berates her, saying he should’ve had the chance to disable it to save everyone, including the bomber, but helena stands her ground, saying that he doesn’t know FOR SURE if he WOULD have disabled it in time.

which like. CAN WE BLAME HER. as always i admire bruce and cass’ commitment to Preserving Life, but like.... sometimes a Call has to be Made, and they’ll never Make that call so fjkdlsaf.

before we get to the Overlapping story, let’s talk Tim

Tim

electric city was a good 3 parter, major thing of note was Bruce had his heart stopped and was clinically dead for a minute. Tim seemed to take that to heart

To the Father I Never Knew, tims dad has recovered and it might be the End of Tim Robin (but we know that’s not true)

To circle back to the Robin Annual, Tim and Lonnie seem to have a BIT of a rapport that could be built but well.... there’s no telling how well that goes obvsly. gonna have to wait to read more and see how things go.

lmao @ my note here for Steph’s intro “tim got absolutely DECKED by that brick... nice” fjdkasl;f

oh also “steph’s making POINTS. tim’s only got a few months more training on her at this point.... you can have TWO robins bruce...... its Okay” fjkdasflk; GALAXY BRAIN PAST RANDY. UR RIGHT.

Something thats a common theme that I made note of too, is Bruce takes a LOT of opportunities to sideline Tim. Having him hang back and do computer research and recon... I can’t tell if the writers for this era are trying to be More Aware of the Child Endangerment aspect of crimefighting now that Jason’s died, or if its just kind of a coincidence now that they’re on the precipice of the Digital Age.... its something to Make Note of though....

Now.... Cry of the Huntress:

Overall, I think Tim and Helena worked well together tbh! at least in this!

Tim’s trying so VERY hard to be Serious and Professional™, and to be fair, he’s also dealing with having to make up excuses in his personal/school life too, now that he’s coming home with more noticable bruises and scrapes.

Helena on the other hand, is still finding a lot to love abt the Thrill of being a vigilante. she’s the one cracking more jokes around tim (altho he had a few cracks here n there earlier on), also calling into question why Batman’s so against her and yet allows a Child™ to patrol on fuckin SCHOOL nights (altho to be fair for this story, bruce didn’t know tim was Out so)

there’s a lot to work with this mini, there’s a lot that’s brought up from previous ones too, but overall, following it up from the Huntress solo, i could Kinda be okay with recommending this for ppl who are doing backreading for either tim or helena.

its not like, an absolutely necessary read for their characters, but it is a fun quick romp at least... all things considered.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.

[sleepnginstardust]

Orc Boyfriend (Torug Part 1/??)

Yep. It’s Orctober, and I love orcs. 

Diana scowled looking at the gym across the street, she hadn’t been thrilled when it had first moved into what used to be her favorite art gallery. But times have changed and the owners decided to move somewhere more tropical. It had sat empty for months and the artists that use to sell their art in the gallery had asked her if she had any room for their works. Diana had hesitated at first, she was a tea store, not an art gallery and she had a certain aesthetic to maintain. After debating for a few weeks she relented and decided that her niche maybe had a little room to expand. The best part about the change to her store was that patrons of the old art gallery started coming in and purchasing tea from her, which was a blessing in disguise.

Diana hadn’t even heard about a gym being brought into the old art gallery building until one of her friends from the bakery down the street (a lovely old dwarf woman who had been baking since before Diana’s father had been born). Had mentioned in passing that someone had purchased the building.

~

“Oh and the old art gallery has been purchased finally. I think the McClint’s are very happy with the offer too!” Diana blinked a few times before taking a sip of the Tian Jian she was trying out. The almost rosey sweet flavour of the tea hit her tongue and as she swallowed she tasted a dark flavour that made her smile. She took a bite of the lavender shortbread Elora had made.

“I’m sorry did you actually say that someone has purchased the old art building? Did Mr & Mr McClint settle for less? Because they were asking a decent amount for this area.” Elora smiled and took a sip of tea. She pursed her lips as she swallowed.

“Maybe not my favorite dear, and maybe the lavender shortbread was wrong for this tea. Perhaps something with a berry flavour to offset the floral undertones of this one. No they didn’t settle for less, in fact the person who bought it paid a little bit more. Jake McClint said the person said something about this being in a good “family place”. Who knows maybe the person wants to start a new family business! Oh I hope it’s grocery store! I need a new place to get my vegetables after that fart Gindira took over the one on tenth!” 

“But Elora we already have one? You know the one about three blocks over. It’s run by that sweet Centaur boy. He brings in produce from his family farm even!” Elora blinked a few times and barked out a laugh.

“I had completely forgotten about that poor boy. When you get to be around 230 Diana 

you’ll understand why my memory is so horrible.” Elora huffed. She nibbled the shortbread and gave a small huff.

“Elora go back to the person buying the McClints building, who is it? I wanna know!” Elora looked at Diana with a shrewd look.

“Why, are you going to throw them a welcoming party? Or are you more interested in looks?” Diana blushed scarlet and looked at her teacup.

“No, no welcome party, and I’m honestly not looking too hard for anything in particular. Not after what happened last time.”

“He was a cad who only wanted your building. Pfft freaking real estate people. You’ll find someone, maybe not now but one day.”

~

Now two weeks later she was regretting her curiosity. The big burly mix of men, orcs, and others brought a workout machine after workout Machine into the building across the street. There had already been a casualty when one of her delivery people got knocked over by an Onikuma crushing the box of expensive first flush Darjeeling he had been carrying.

The delivery person apologized profusely to Diana having never done something like this before. Diana accepted telling him it wasn’t his fault, as the delivery van drove away from the onikuma that knocked the poor kid over yelled sorry as Diana stood in her doorway wondering if there was anything worth salvaging in the crushed box.

More and more of the workout machines went into the building and Diana noted that whoever bought the place was also installing a new air filtration system. She wondered what was the point because the McClints had replaced the filtration unit only five years ago.

She sipped a cup of lapsang souchong as the group of movers gathered around a tall orc who had just pulled up in a truck with boxes of items. As the group talked with the orc the onikuma who knocked over her delivery person yesterday motioned towards Diana’s store. The Orc nodded and started walking across the street. 

Diana ducked behind the counter and started cleaning her mess she had made. As the bell chimed she turned around and gave a bright hello. And stopped. The orc was almost two feet taller than her 5 foot 2 inches and his arms were roped with muscles. Diana swallowed another mouthful of tea, her throat suddenly dry.

“Welcome in! What can I do for you?” The orc looked down at her with a small confused smile.

“I think it’s more about what I can do you Ma’am” his southern accent made Diana’s heart skip a beat. “I’m Torug & I heard from my friend that he accidentally ran over a delivery person of yours. I’m here to make amends.” 

“I uhhh, what?” She had been staring at his arms that looked like they could squash her. She blinked and looked up at his face, her blush spreading rapidly across her face.

“There was an accident with one of my friends? He knocked over a delivery boy and crushed a package of yours?” Diana shook her head and realized he was talking about the Onikuma yesterday.

“Oh! Oh, yeah. That destroyed almost $1000 dollars worth of first flush Darjeeling.” The Orc looked at her with raised eyebrows. He looked at her like he was concerned for her sanity. “I mean it’s not as expensive as Da-Hong Pao Tea, I mean nothing is. But it was almost 1,800 grams of Selimbong First flush. That stuff is expensive and I already had buyers lined up for it. I’m going to need vodka after having to call some of these people and tell them their tea was crushed by an onikuma.”

“What if I pay for the tea, and maybe take you out for that vodka? I mean it is partially my fault you’re in this situation in the first place. It’s only natural that I help care for you after those horrible phone calls you’re going to have to deal with.” Diana waved her hand.

“Ehh most of the people who bought the tea are decent people and when I explain what happened they’ll understand. Except maybe Franklin, but he’s a cave troll and kind of grumpy in general.” Torug laughed, and his rough voice made butterflies in Diana’s stomach. 

“Oooo, a cave troll? Now I have to at least take you out for dinner.” Diana gave a small laughed and looked up at Torug and smiled. 

“You really don’t have too, especially since I will take you up on the payment for the destroyed tea. It’ll go towards hopefully more tea, to help soften the blow for those who are going to have to wait longer.” Torug was pulling out his wallet and shook his head.

“I don’t mean to seem obstinate ma’am, but I really do think I should at least pay for your dinner. It seems like it’s a bit of a hassle on your part for something that was my fault.” Diana looked at Torug and gave a slanted smile.

“If that’s the case then shouldn’t the Onikuma be the one to take me out. I mean he didn’t even give me his name!” Torug straightened up and gave Diana a worried look. Then moved closer to the counter. Diana could smell some sort of cologne. Torug set his hands on the counter.

“I mean he could, his wife makes some damn good honeyed salmon.” Diana smiled “But I’d rather be the one to take a beautiful woman out to a delicious meal.” 

“Okay now I want to know, are you asking because you’re interested in me because we’re soon to be work neighbors, or because I wowed you with my wide array of tea?” Diana shifted and leaned just a little bit back to look at Torugs massive frame. His seven-foot frame made Diana feel absolutely tiny. His smile dazzled Diana.

“Maybe a little bit of both, can’t a male be interested in his soon to be work neighbor and their extensive tea collection?” Diana was beginning to think her soon to be neighbor was more interested in her rather than her tea collection. Not that she had expected him to hide it. Orcs were rather straightforward when it came to these sorts of situations. 

It would do her good to get to know the person who was opening up across from her. So she made up her mind.

“Sure I’ll take you up on that. I am never one to turn down an invitation for free food. Do you know where you’d like to go? There are a few places that could be fun.” Torug’s smile became even bigger. Torug leaned over the counter, Diane got a better smell of his cologne. It almost made her swoon.

“Well if you know of a place that’d be swell. Otherwise I was just going to cook for you myself.” Diana nearly swooned on the spot. He could cook as well as run a business? God Diana was beginning to second think her stance on staying single. 

“If you’re willing to cook, I’d be happy with that. We can try other places another time.” It was only after she had said it that she realized what she said. With a look of shock she looked up at Torug’s face. His smile was breathtaking, his tusks were pointing out and there was a sparkle in his eyes.

“I’ll have to hold you to that Ma’am.” Diana smiled.

“Please stop calling me ma’am it’s making me feel old.”

“I would but you never told me your name ma’am.” Diana's mouth fell open and her face flushed. “I can’t believe you’re real.”

“I-uh, what did you say? I’m Diana, by the way.” Torug hadn’t stopped smiling and he stood up straight. 

“Well Miss Diana, I should be unpacked and able to cook for you by this Friday at the latest. Maybe tomorrow if I have a reason too.” Diana gave a little sigh. For someone so tuff looking he was certainly soft. Diana thought for a moment. Then looked down.

“Can’t do tomorrow, tomorrow is a ‘girls’ night with my friends.” Torug sighed but smiled. He moved back .

“Well, that gives me more time to make sure my new place is pristine.” Diana smiled, she put her teacup down. 

“I’m going to look forward to it. I don’t know where you live but my apartment is right upstairs so you won’t have to go far to find me!” Torug licked bit his lower lip holding back a smile.

“Good, I’m moving into the apartment above the soon to be Iron Works Gym.” He looked so happy about saying that, it was infectious. Diana’s smile only grew wider. 

“Perfect then we won’t have to go far to see each other.” After that Torug very apologetically paid for the ruined tea and left to go get more things unpacked. 

Diana watched as he walked over to his friends who looked at him. Torug gave them a thumbs up and she saw the lot of them slap him on the back. Diana smiled and shook her head.she cleaned up shop and waited for the time to pass. She went to the back for her laptop so she email call the customers about the ruined tea.

The bell above her door rang out, looking up she smiled at one of her regulars. An Incubus by the named Jhorrel walked in. His outfit was unusually flashy today, the Maroon three-piece suit with gold accents looked almost out of place in the homey tea store. 

“Jhorrel, what can I do for you?” He sauntered up and leaned onto the counter.

“Diana! Who are those strong people out front?” He pulled up the cup Diana had been using and gave it a sniff and winced. “Lapsang? Diana you know I hate that one. If I wanted to drink burnt tea I would have a barista make it.”

“Mhmmm, I like lapsang instead of coffee. Those strong gentlemen are the new gym that’s going in across the street. One of them already crushed a box of tea and the owner has already asked me out to dinner.”Jhorrel whipped around and stared at me, his mouth hanging open.

“Why didn’t you start with that! Which one crushed the tea and which one asked you out. Gods I hope it wasn’t that orc that looks like he could bench press me.” He licked his lips. Diana looked over his shoulder and saw he was looking straight at Torug. Who was looking at Jhorrel. Diana smiled and waved at him. Torugs face softened and he waved backed. Jhorrel’s face whipped around and he gaped at Diana who’s face turned an interesting shade of red.

“OH MY GODS!! DIANA! HE IS THE OWNER ISN’T HE?” Diana stepped back and covered her ears. She smiled a little bit.

“Well maybe if you had waited for my answer, I would have told you all about it. Now though you have to wait until tomorrow night.” Diana gave him a reusable mug of tea and a small bag of loose leaf tea.

“Diana! Please throw a sex-starved incubus a bone here!” Diana shook her head and moved from behind the counter. She grabbed his maroon suit and started moving him out of the store.

“Again, I’ll tell you everything. Tomorrow night!” she opened the door and gently pushed Jhorrel out of her store. She heard the men and women stop talking. Jhorrel took a sip of tea. He nodded.

“Fine! But you aren’t getting out of this! Tomorrow you are telling me and Marissa everything!” Diana nodded and shooed him away. He waved to the group of people across the street and slowly walked down the street.

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Rhymes With “ATE”?

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ramen.

2. Do you have a gate to your backyard? Yeah.

3. Who’s your best mate? My mom.

4. How often do you mate? Have sex? Never have.

5. What would you use as bait on a fishing hook? I wouldn’t even go fishing let’s be real, but fine if I did I’d use worms or whatever I guess alkjfklfjklf. I wouldn’t be the one to put it on, though!

6. What do you bate your breath with? Any anxious situation. 

7. What’s the last thing you got in a crate? I don’t get things in crates.

8. When’s the last time you went on a date? Where did you go? Almost 5 years ago. It was a cute coffee and bookstore date with Ty. That was our favorite thing to do.

9. Do you believe in fate? No.

10. Have you ever seen a freight train in person before? Yeah.

11. Do you like grated cheese? Yesss.

12. Do you have an awkward gait? As a paraplegic, no I do not. Everything else about me is awkward, though.

13. When’s the last time you truly felt great? When I was a kid.

14. Who do you hate? Besides myself, no one.

15. Do you know of anyone named Kate or Nate? No.

16. When’s the last time you were late for something? I don’t recall. I’m big on being punctual.

17. Do you know how to plait hair? I haven’t heard it called that, but yes.

18. Do you have a favorite plate? Paper plates, ha.

19. Would rather ice skate or roller skate? I can’t do either one.

20. How would you rate this survey so far? I’ve enjoyed all your surveys!

21. Do you ever just wish for a clean slate? Yesssss.

22. What state do you live in? (if you’re American) California.

23. What is your current state of mind? Blah.

24. Are you straight? Yes.

25. Are you straight-laced? Straight-edged? No, because apparently you can’t have caffeine or narcotics to be considered straightedge, both of which I have.

26. Have you ever visited a strait? No.

27. What’s your best personality trait? Sense of humor.

28. How long will you wait for someone/something? I don’t know? 

29. What is your weight? I’m not exactly sure, but I think mid to low 70lbs. 

30. Are you awaiting anything special? No.

31. Do you berate anyone? Nooo.

32. Is there anyone you’d like to castrate? Uh, no!

33. Are you a cheapskate? Lol I have my moments, but I also can overspend. Just depends, really.

34. When was the last time you collated papers? I don’t recall.

35. Last thing you created? Uhhh.

36. What was your last debate about? I really try and avoid those.

37. Last time you inflated something? Or deflated? I don’t recall.

38. Do you dictate what other people can do? No.

39. Have your pupils ever dilated before? When I go to the eye doctor. 

40. When’s the last time you donated something? A few months ago when I got rid of some clothes.

41. The last time you felt elated? My Disneyland trip earlier this year.

42. Have you ever been to an estate sale? No.

43. What are you fixated on? Health related stuff.

44. How often do your floodgates open? I cry often.

45. Last thing you equated? Hmm.

46. Last time you felt frustrated? The last few days. I feel that way quite often.

47. Do you remember to stay hydrated? Yeah.

48. Do you live upstate? No.

49. How often do you post status updates? I very rarely post status updates on Facebook anymore, I just share things now and then. I tweet a lot, though.

50. How often do you use Google Translate? Not often, but sometimes. I actually did a couple days ago.

51. Who is a classmate that you are still friends with?

52. Have you ever had a teammate before? No.

53. Have you ever tailgated? No.

54. Have you ever reached a stalemate? That’s how I’ve felt the past few years.

55. Have you ever been sedated? Yeah, several times.

56. Do you rotate your mattress? No.

57. Last time you got a rebate? It’s been awhile, but I used to use Ebates (called Rakuten now). I keep forgetting to use it for some reason, which is dumb.

58. Have you ever felt like you could relate to someone? Yeah, many times.

59. Favorite primate? I don’t have one.

60. Do you have something ornate? Uhh. I don’t really have anything fancy.

61. Has an action ever negated the effect of your efforts? Yes.

62. Could you be described as a lightweight? Ha, yeah. For sure.

63. Would you like to visit Kuwait? I haven’t thought about it.

64. Last person that gyrated near you? No one.

65. Do you know someone who is irate or innate? Hmm.

66. Do you know of any inmates? Yes.

67. How long does it take you to acclimate? I struggle with change.

68. Last time you activated something? Not too long ago.

69. What do you advocate for? Stuff.

70. Last time you felt agitated or aggravated? Recently.

71. Last time you had to annotate something? Recently during my Bible study.

72. Have you ever felt alienated before? Yes.

73. What was the last caffeinated beverage you consumed? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

74. Do you like carbonated drinks? Yeah.

75. What captivates you? Staring out at the ocean and listening to the waves crash in and out.

76. What do you allocate a lot of your hours towards? Watching YouTube videos and checking my social medias.

77. Last event you celebrated? 4th of July. Well, we just went out and watched fireworks from the driveway.

78. Last time you were compensated for something? I don’t recall.

79. Do you tend to make things complicated? Yepppp. :/  “Why you gotta go and make things so complicated?”

80. Do you find it hard to concentrate at times? Yes.

81. Have you ever had anything confiscated? No.

82. Last place you congregated at? I haven’t been around a large crowd of people since my Disneyland trip earlier this year. I won’t be again for a very long time given the current state of things.

83. How long are you with someone before you consummate the relationship? I’m a virgin.

84. Last time you had to conjugate a verb? I did that recently when I was helping my mom with her Duolingo Spanish lesson. It amazes me how much I still remember considering I haven’t taken a Spanish class or even really practiced it in almost 10 years. :O I mean, I’ll occasionally try and speak it or if I hear or see it somewhere I’ll try to translate it, but it’s not very often, so I’m surprised I’m still able to at all.

85. Last time you were constipated? I don’t recall.

86. How often do you contemplate life? Often.

87. Are you hard to cooperate with? No, I don’t think so.

88. Do you know anyone who cultivates land? No.

89. Would you want to be cremated? Yes.

90. Do you have any issues with your prostate? I don’t have a prostate. 

91. Have you ever decimated someone’s character before? No.

92. Do you decorate your home for the holidays? Yesss. Well, for Christmas. I used to for Halloween, but I haven’t the past few years. I should do that this year.

93. Who would you dedicate a book you wrote to? My mom.

94. Are you good at delegating group projects? I felt like I always had to take lead in group projects and make sure everything was getting done. I hated doing them, they stressed me out even more.

95. Do you know how to demonstrate things in order to show someone how to do something? I do feel like I suck at trying to explain things to others for the most part, but I guess it depends on the thing. 

96. In what ways do you deviate from “the norm”? I’m soon to be 31 years old and I still live at home with my parents, with no plans to move out anytime soon. I don’t have a job. I don’t have much, basically none, relationship experience. I’m a virgin. I’m just not a functioning adult.

97. How long after you take a painkiller does the pain start to dissipate? It typically takes about 30 minutes, but on really bad pain/flare up days it can take an hour or so and sometimes not until I have the next dose.

98. Do you feel the need to dominate in conversations? Nooo. I’m much more of a listener and I’ll throw the convo back to the other person.

99. Would you ever domesticate a wild animal? Why or why not? No.

100. Who is the last person you congratulated? For what? I don’t remember.

101. Would you like to decapitate anyone? Who, and why? Uh, no!

102. Do you ever think that you could duplicate something you’ve tried before?   Uhh, like what?

103. What do you feel you could educate others about? I don’t know. Remember before how I said I suck at explaining things to others?

104. What elevates your stress level? My heath, my life (including things related to my loved ones in my life, such as their health issues and things they’re dealing with/going through), and just...life in general, man. There’s a lot going on this year alone.

105. Do you have a tendency to make situations escalate? In my mind cause I jump to the worst conclusions. My natural reaction is to freak out.

106.  How good are you at estimating? Uhh, depends what I’m estimating.

107. Do you fabricate your stories? No. 

108. What is something that fascinates you? Psychology.

109. How long does it take you to formulate a game plan? Hmm. Depends.

110. What tends to make your blood pressure fluctuate? Stress and anxiety.

111. How do you generate enough energy to get through your day? What energy? I’m seriously lacking.

112. When did you graduate? I graduated UC back in 2015.

113. When you’re in a department store, which section do you gravitate towards most often? The clothes.

114. How often do you hesitate before doing or saying something? Often.

115. Do you ever wish that you could just hibernate? Yes.

116. Does anyone try to imitate you? Does it get on your nerves? No, but that would most definitely get on my nerves.

117. Do you like to instigate others? Nooo. I’m not an instigator.

118. Could you illustrate a children’s book? I couldn’t illustrate anything, I’m an artist at all.

119. Do you marinate your meats? I don’t cook.

120. Do you masturbate? No. What a way to end, ha.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]