#sure as fuck don't need this in my life though

[bi-writes]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an older!boyfriend simon x reader BUT reader is john price's daughter so is kinda of a forbidden and secret relationship !!!! they've been dating for a long time now until john finds out !!!!!

18+

"how is she?"

"doing well, john. but you don't have to worry about her anymore, you know that right? she's not yours to worry about."

"she is mine. i know she's not..." john huffs. "she may not be blood, but she's mine, yeah? so when i ask 'ow she is, you tell me, kate. can we agree on that?"

"sure, john. she's in georgia. her russian got very good. if you want to know my honest opinion, i think she'll be one of my best."

"well...i wouldn't stand for anythin' less."

"john?"

that voice is music to him. he turns, taking his hat off, and he laughs, genuinely, when he sees you. his whole face lights up, and you make your way to him. it's been months since you've seen him in person--even though he makes you send him constant updates about what you're doing and where you are, you find yourself missing this man and the warmth he gives off whenever you are in his proximity.

he's always looked at you so kindly. he's always taken care of you. whenever you pick up the phone, he's always answered.

"'ello, bug."

he crushes you in a warm hug. he puts a hand on the back of your neck and holds you to his chest, and the tension in his shoulders deflates now that he has you with him.

"hi, john. miss me?"

"well...you were the only one with sense in my house."

"you live alone, john."

"aye."

he pours you a hot cup of tea before he makes you tell him all about your new posting. most of it is classified, and you tell him that, but his face lights up when you talk about the new skills you're learning and all the opportunities that kate is giving you. his face scrunches a little when you talk about the more dangerous ops, but john never has the same regard for his own life.

the mess hall gets busy once dinner time rolls around. his men were not expecting you, and that much is clear when they see their captain even enjoying a meal in public and not secluded in his office. you smile at his sergeants, but when your gaze lingers a little longer on the doors, johnny just nudges you with his elbow.

"miss the big guy?"

"what? no."

"he had a long night last night," he wiggles his eyebrows at gaz, who just laughs a little. "i might need to try the whole brooding, scary look LT has got on. attracts the most bonnie things, fuckin' christ."

your plate flies when you stab at your food too hard. the cutlery clatters as it hits the floor, and you jump a little, swallowing.

"are you alright, bug?"

"huh? yeah, oh...yeah, just...fucking clumsy. i...i'm gonna...find the toilet."

the blood is rushing in your ears as you make your way out. you're vibrating, hot inside, and you feel him before you see him, even in your anger.

when he pulls you into the shadow of a nearby supply closet, you swipe the blade out of your boot and hold it up against his throat. even through the mask, the blade bites, and he hisses as you hold him up against the wall there.

"don't fucking touch me," you snarl, and ghost's eyes are bright and alive as he holds his hands up defensively.

"wot--"

"and don't what me," you snap. "actually, don't fucking talk at all, you cheating, manipulative, british piece of shit--"

"look so pretty," he murmurs, tilting his head to the side. "did you do y'r hair, baby?"

"i will kill you."

"'s olright. last thing i see'll be you."

"i'm not fucking kidding, simon!"

he bends a little, tilting his head, and you breathe out through your nose as he leans his forehead against yours.

"reckon ya spoke t'johnny."

you scoff. "told me all about your winnings last night, lieutenant."

"was no winnings, love, don't be so fuckin' naïve." simon swipes at the handle of the blade, curling his gloved fingers around your wrist and forcing it away from him. "y'r just mad cause y'r cunt missed me."

"don't flatter yourself, asshole."

"so if i pull your knickers down right now, y'won't be drippin', swee'eart?"

"that's irrelevant."

"'s not. turn around and bend over."

simon's sorry, so he eats your pussy from behind. he gets down on his knees, and the crack of them satisfies you immensely, up until you feel his mouth between your cheeks, tongue slicking up your folds. you brace yourself against the wall, palms flat against the concrete as he puts two gloved hands against your ass and spreads you wide to fit himself nicely there. he hums, groans, makes you whine as he slurps obscenely into your cunt, laving at the drip of you until the taste of you floods his mouth.

"simon..." you whimper. "tell me i-it's not true."

he presses a wet kiss to your ass, biting it firm.

"'s not true, love. promise."

"fuck your promises," you sniffle. "you're a professional liar."

"tha' 'ow it's gonna be, innit? not gonna trust me? believe me?"

you rest your forehead against the cool wall, and the shadow of him envelopes you when he stands. he grunts a little as he gets to his feet. his big hands squeeze at the curve of your waist, and you close your eyes when you feel his breath against your neck.

"i'm sorry, simon."

"for wot?"

"i just...i like you so much. so much."

"come 'ere," he murmurs in your ear. he pulls your hips back, pressing your ass against his pelvis, and you dig your nails into the wall when you hear his belt buckle and zipper. "my pretty girl. my pretty, pretty girl."

"i missed you s-so much, simon."

"i know, love. quiet now. someone'll hear."

it's not the worst place you've fucked. you've snuck quickies in the rec room. behind the mess hall. met up in filthy gas station toilets, fallen into the backseat of a car in the parking lot of numerous military bases. even once, you deigned to suck his dick in his office, and you had to hide behind his couch when john came in to ask about an op.

john had a rule. his men were off-limits. he should've thought about that before he hired a man straight out of your wet dreams for his stupid fucking task force.

you're weak. and simon is a man.

inevitable.

you're a mile into pound-town when someone interrupts. simon is cock-deep inside of you, pelvis up against your ass, one hand braced around your throat and the other squeezing your ass. your eyes are rolled back into your head, and there's drooling coming out of your mouth. it's hot, disgusting, filthy to let him have you like this, but it's been weeks since you've seen him, and the phone calls aren't enough.

you love talking to him. you love when he talks to you. he'll never be annoying to you, you'll never get tired of him, but the distances hurts. you want simon to be all around you--inside of you, against you, his voice in your ear and his mouth against yours and his warmth your only sheet, but you can't bring yourself to do more than this.

you're too afraid of disappointing people. you're too scared of simon's rejection. if your relationship is nothing but fun, nothing but sex, you can pretend it isn't real, but you're just lying to yourself now.

you babble, and it sounds like love, but then the hallway light blinds you, and familiar blue eyes nearly kill you.

"jesus christ!"

simon puts his body in front of yours to cover you, using a harsh boot to kick the door closed. you squeak, covering your face with your hands, and you groan audibly as simon pants against your back.

"fuck--" you gasp. "oh...fuck, fuck, fuck!"

simon buries his face into the crook of your neck, laughing a little.

"bloody hell," he breathes. "reckon we're fucked, huh, love?"

"it's not funny, simon! we're in so much trouble!"

"well..." he squeezes your throat gently, tilting your head back. "could still finish. no sense in pretendin' now."

"you are not going to come when he's probably waiting for us outside."

"i'm balls deep in my favorite girl," simon mutters. "could come just fine. just say the word."

"you're disgusting."

"mmm..." simon squeezes your hips. "keep talkin'. i like when y'talk t'me like tha'."

"fucking asshole."

"yeah...yeah."

"you stupid, immature, unhinged pain in my ass--"

"fuck."

well.

you're definitely never leaving this room.

[dante-mightdie]

long awaited part three of lowselfesteem!reader and simon

part two

invisible clothes

that’s what you called them, the rags you don when you have to integrate with the general population but you would much rather not be noticed. clothing that is so bland that it isn’t nice enough catch an eye but not hideous enough to catch any negative attention

you had told simon about them once, when he called you out on wearing them every time you stepped out in public, including your dates with him. especially since he knew you had a very elaborate wardrobe with a tailored sense of style

clearly they aren’t invisible enough to hide you from johnny’s guilty eyes from across the store aisle. you sigh when he comes up to you, tapping your shoulder to get your attention. he shifts uncomfortably on his feet

“I know ye probably hate ma guts, lass but ye should ken that simon shut down all of that bet talk after your first date. Ah just bring et up to annoy ‘im.” johnny says, with a nervous chuckles at the end. you don’t laugh alongside him

“okay, fair enough. look, he’s miserable without ye! he comes to the pub just to get pished and mope about how he fucked it all up with ye.” johnny continues, a pleading look in his eyes, “he’s supposed to he coming by to drop off some things of yours tomorrow. just hear him out, please, lass.”

you roll your eyes at him, continuing to grab what you need from the shelves in front of you. not even bothering to look him in the eyes when you finally begin to speak

"why should I? why am I always expected to think of other people even when they hurt me? you and simon didn't think about me or my feelings when you made your stupid bet. neither of you stopped to consider that I was just a person who simply wanted to be left alone." you say with a scoff, "he'll be lucky if I don't slam the door in his face."

johnny shifts on his feet, looking down at the floor since he feels too uncomfortable to look directly at you, "fair enough. take care've yerself, hen."

you bite back tears as you watch him skulk off in the corner of your eye. you stand there for a few more minutes, staring at the stacked shelves in front of you to distract you from the war raging inside of your head

-

it's late at night, nearly midnight, when there's a knock at your door. you let out a sigh, already knowing who was disturbing your doomscrolling at this hour. and when you open the door, you see him. you’re brooding prick of an ex-boyfriend. he at least has the decency to look guilty, like a dog caught ripping up the couch cushions

except he wasn’t a dog, he was the love of your life. and your heart isn’t so easily replaced like a cushion. though he definitely treated it like somewhere to rest his head

“hey.”

you scoff, you’re not sure why. there isn’t anything inherently wrong with what he said but it still annoyed you. he annoyed you. with his stupid stormy eyes and his stupid jokes and freckled shoulders that you used to connect like dots late at night

“just give me my stuff and go, simon. don’t have time for this bullshit.”

he doesn’t flinch. he saw that hit coming, and sometimes you gotta let them swing at you especially when you know that you deserve much worse

the exchange is quick, a box with small memories passed over to you. a couple items of clothing, a book and some toiletries. before you can slam the door in his face, he jams his heavy boot into it

“wait… love, I… there’s somethin’ else. I never gave it to you but it’s yours. got it for you and I’ll never give it to anyone else.”

the glare you give him only falters when he places a small velvet box in your hand, he pauses the speech you can definitely feel coming on. looking at you expectantly to open it. you do, waiting for him to laugh at you when you find nothing in there. ridicule you for even thinking he would consider making you his wife

but all he does it look on solemn, the beautiful ring twinkling as a devastating reminder of what could have been

“I kno’ I ‘ave no right to ask. I wouldn’t insult you like tha’ lovie. you can hate me, I deserve it. but you don’t deserve it. I won’t let you hurt yourself over what I did. you deserve to know the real extent of how bad I fucked up. maybe it’ll help to look at tha’ ring and know that I’ll spend the rest of my life having to know I lost the woman who should be my wife.”

there’s no chance to respond, not like you’d know what to say anyway,

“I’m sorry.”

and then he’s gone.

[gothamhappiness]

I love you, my crime lord! (Red Hood x f!reader)

Hi everyone, this the last part of a little series that I ended writing for Red Hood! (If you've got some ideas for this, you can still request them though)

You can read the other parts here:

Don't touch Red Hood, Batman!

I like to flirt with you, Red Hood!

You're my guardian angel, Red Hood!

Hope you'll enjoy: <3

Warnings: no proof reading, overprotective and dark!Red Hood, strong language, reader is taken hostage

The more time you spent with Red Hood and the more you enjoyed him. 

The more time the man spent with you and the more obvious he was falling in love with you, and pretty hard. You were the kind of person he needed in his life: you loved him no matter what and yet you didn’t have time for his bullshit. You were perfect.

But at some point, your relationship couldn’t really progress into something more intimate if he kept his identity a secret. Red Hood needed you to love him even when he wasn’t Red Hood. And you didn’t want to be his girlfriend only when he was a crime lord.

Jason had been a little bit worried; he wasn't too certain you were going to love him even in daily life, but he quickly got reassured by the way you greeted him home and the way you acted around him. You became a true anchor in his existence and you quickly became the most protected woman of Gotham. His most trusted spy always had a look on you, just to make sure you were safe and sound.

He also warned the Batfamily and every villains of Gotham to stay the fuck away from you. 

You had no idea about it until you got caught up during a hostage at the bank of Gotham. You were terrified, especially because you knew that your boyfriend wasn’t in town that very day. And even if he probably instructed his men to protect you, you weren’t too sure what they could do when a man was pressing a gun against your temple so the police wouldn’t shoot him and his team.

“Look pretty girl, you might not survive today. Hope you told your boyfriend you loved him one last time” the man cruelly whispered to you

“You’re a dead man if you kill me, you know” you said, not really certain it would make a difference, but in your position it couldn’t hurt to try to convince the man to let you go

“Ah yes and why that, your boyfriend is a hitman?” the man chuckled, not believing you

“He’s Red Hood”

At the instant you said that name, the man removed the gun from your head and turned you around to look into your eyes, making sure you weren’t lying to him. He was deeply frowning out of fear.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” he whispered before looking around for his teammates “We need to let this one go very quickly, she’s Red Hood’s girlfriend” he cried out and all them instantly panicked and hushered you out of the bank, leaving you wondering what the fuck just happened.

Cops quickly rushed to you to know what was going on but before you could answer, a black SUV arrived and you were pulled inside. Jason’s goons were fretting around you to make sure you didn’t get hurt. And they all were really relieved you just seemed stunned.

When you asked where you were going, they answered you were joining Red Hood as if it was the most logical thing in the world. Their boss was already aware of the situation and he wanted you by his side, where you were the safest.

When you arrived in what seemed to be an abandoned nightclub, Red Hood was addressing his troops and giving orders. He asked everyone out when he saw you. Your were his top priority, no matter what the situation was.

“All good?” he asked, his hands wandering your body, and you nodded

“They got scared when I said I was your girlfriend” you finally said

“They better be scared. They should even thank you for telling them who you were to me” Jason said as he guided you to a couch nearby so you could relax. “Gotham is a dangerous place, but it’ll always be a safe haven for you or I’ll burn everything to the ground”

“Come on Jay” you nervously giggled

“No one touch my Queen and they all know it. Isn’t it a simple rule to follow?” Red Hood wondered before sitting down on the couch with you.

He removed his mask so his lips could find yours. You straddled him before leaning against his chest. His arms settled around you. You broke the kiss before looking up at him.

“I love you, my crime lord.” you whispered

“I love you too, my lady” he fondly smiled at you

“But please don’t burn Gotham to the ground?” you hummed

“We’ll see about it” he darkly promised and you didn't know if you should be worried or very horny about it.

Probably both.

--

Taglist for all my work <3

@blublock404

@wind-canoe

@silverklaus

@couldeatthatgirlforlunch

@tatsuri-zomushiki

@navs-bhat

@randomnamedmira

@winterhi09

@murkyponds

@qardasngan

Taglist for this series <3

@stormz369

[shootingstars-or-airplanes]

Alright folks buckle up because I'm about to break down my entire theory for the TMAGP classification system before season 2 drops.

1. CAT - Category Many of you have probably seen my original post about the TMAGP categories being literally the most basic thing in the world and we all missed it, but in case you haven't, here's the gist! It's nouns. Is the source of the supernatural activity a person, place, or thing?

1 - Person

Zombie [Ep 1]

Needles [Ep 6]

Bonzo (x2) [Eps 10 & 12]

Snake Guy [Ep 14]

Hunt Aristocrats [Ep 15]

Ink5oul (x2) [Eps 16 & 20]

Talking Corpse [Ep 18]

Isaac Newton [Ep 19]

Not sure if this one is the scientist or the test subject but either way it's a person [Ep 22]

Coral Doppelganger [Ep 23]

Demon Baby [Ep 24]

Compelled Runner [Ep 26]

2 - Place

Garden [Ep 3]

Theater [Ep 5]

Hilltop (x3) [Eps 7, 17* & 30]

Liminal Building [Ep 8]

Cemetery [Ep 11]

Construction Site [Ep 21]

Restaurant [Ep 25]

Magnus Institute [Ep 28]

Tunnels [Ep 29]

*Episode 17 isn't confirmed to be at hilltop I don't think, but it is heavily hinted at so I'm going with it.

3 - Thing

Tattoo (x2) [Eps 2 & 11]

Murder Violin [Ep 4]

Dice [Ep 9]

Phone App [Ep 13]

"Fruit" [Ep 19]

Telegraph [Ep 22]

Coral [Ep 23]

Carriage [Ep 27]

I may be slightly off on some of these, but many of them are glaringly obvious. And each episode seems to fit, though some more cleanly than others. I'm open to suggestions on this, though.

2. R - Rank I posted about this just a day or two ago but I noticed when I was going back through that episode 30 had a rank of S instead of A, B, or C which seems a lot like it's a tier system, likely for danger levels. My best guess would be the ranks mean the following:

C - Low-Level Threat B - Mid-Level Threat A - High-Level Threat S - Extremely High-Level Threat [DNI]

If this is the case, any ranks that contain two letters are likely to mean that it's between those two levels. BC is Low-To-Mid-Level Threat, AB is Mid-To-High-Level Threat. This could also mean that in the cases where there are multiple supernatural elements, one of them is low and the other is mid, etc., but based on the way double numbers and double letters line up, I'm inclined to believe it's the first theory. Here is a list of all supernatural elements along with their rankings.

C - Low-Level Threat

Garden that turns people into trees [Ep 3]

Violin that needs blood to play well [Ep 4] *

Hilltop Charity Center [Ep 7]

Spooky tattoo in a cemetery that makes people drown themselves [Ep 11]

Portal from another dimension [Ep 17]

Talking corpse [Ep 18]

BC - Low-To-Mid-Level Threat

Zombie/reanimated corpse [Ep 1]

Tatoo that makes reality reflect a self-portrait [Ep 2]

Liminal building with uncanny cannibals [Ep 8]

Isaac Newton's fucked up crystal tree [Ep 19]

The Dome construction site [Ep 21]

Something about an experiment splitting a brain in two [Ep 22]

Coral that grows into a doppelganger if you shove it in your leg [Ep 23]

Demon baby [Ep 24]

Compelled runner guy [Ep 26]

B - Mid-Level Threat

Movie theater that Knows you [Ep 5]

Needles [Ep 6]

Dice that control fate [Ep 9]

Bonzo [Eps 10 & 12]

Gambling app where you can bet against your own life [Ep 13]

Snake guy [Ep 14]

Hunt aristocrats [Ep 15]

Ink5oul [Ep 16]

Restaurant where you can't stop eating disgusting food [Ep 25]

Carriage that eats people [Ep 27] *

Magnus Institute ritual [Ep 28]

Tunnels that drown you [Ep 29]

AB - Mid-To-High-Level Threat

Ink5oul [Ep 20]

A - High-Level Threat

[None in Season 1]

S - Extremely High-Level Threat [DNI]

Hilltop/Portal to another dimension [Ep 30]

*Some of these seem to be ranked lower than I think they should be, but they are much older cases so maybe time plays a factor in how dangerous they are considered to be.

While not everything is where I would put them, personally, I do think that overall they do seem to increase in threat level. I'm still not 100% sold on this, but it's what I'm running with for now until season two either confirms it or proves me wrong.

3. DPHW I'll admit it. I'm stumped on this one. I feel like this has to be a lot more arbitrary than the other two so it would be hard to reverse-engineer a filing system from it.

The only tiny morsel of a theory I could come up with is that each letter in DPHW stands for a word (duh) and that corresponds to the same number in the four-digit code. So for example, if a DPHW was 1947 it would be D=1, P=9, H=4, and W=7. Now what those letters stand for or what the numbers actually mean are completely lost on me.

If anyone has any good resources for how we could potentially figure this out, please let me know. But as of right now I think my theory is "It's a rather arbitrary sorting system that Alex and Jonny made up and we have little to no chance of decoding it without much more data."

That's it. That's the whole theory. It's not as wild and fantastical as we all hoped I don't think, but I think everything seems to check out. Let me know if you have any other theories, especially about the DPHW.

[carlarosenakilah]

I'm taking a break from The Osix Family and Wilted Ivory

Hi, you've read that right. I'll proceed to go into detail undercut

Warning that the following will be containing very sensitive topics such as su***idal thoughts, mental health issues, and whatever the fuck I went through to get me here and I don't know how to describe nor name them but overall its not pretty.

Getting straight to the point- im drained. I'm in a horrible place right now and I need to take a step back before it might escalate into something worse.

The Osix Family is always something that I will forever dedicate to. It has comforted me, carried me, and saved me from killing myself three years ago.

I asked myself, "If I'm not here, who will tell the story of The Osix Family?"

That made me stay alive, and im greatful for that because if not, I wouldn't have been where I am today standing with the coolest people I have ever met and my amazing partner in crime @alexusespido-dod.

I love Wilted Ivory too, and that's where it gets tricky.

My only plan for Wilted Ivory is to simply tell a story about growth expressed as a musical au. Hence why the art is so simple– not just to match the original Casino Cups style, but just to tell a story that I hope would inspire and comfort others. Of course, I'm happy it gained lota of love.

The Osix Family though is a different story.

Like I said, it means a lot to me, so I put so much time and energy into this series. I sacrifice time that could've been used to study for the next exam, but instead im working on the next few panels or planning the music and etc. Blood sweat and tears (literally) into making sure the art looks good, story is properly conveyed, scenes carefully picked. Even if it gained me bad scores in my exams that made me stress over about, in the end it was worth it to me. I didn't care if I'd be sick an unable to move, as long as I could at least think about it, then I would be happy.

Episode 3 was my worst.

I overworked myself for that episode. I was always in front of my tablet, I never moved out of my seat, I was just there, working on it even if it was 1 in the morning and that I should be sleeping. I told myself: "Everything will pay off! Sure you're in so much pain right now, but eventually it will all pay off! Episode 3 is looking good and interesting! This will FINALLY gain the audience and love the story deserves!"

I was proud.

Until I wasn't.

Reality hit me like a saw. The moment the episode was released I was hopeful. But nothing happened. It was all the same.

And it just hurt how something as simple as Wilted Ivory can easily gain attention and love because it was Cuphead related something well known. Meanwhile, The Osix Family–despite everything–is just barely seen.

I started to doubt myself. To question myself. Was I not doing enough. What more can I do. What should I do. Am I not good enough?

Is the story just not good enough?

That broke me. I began to have thoughts I shouldn't have. I wanted to end it all. I wanted to quit and disappear from the world. Because what was the point in pouring so much love into something only for it to dismissed.

Its not like I simply began having these thoughts.

I've had them over and over again.

As much as I hated involving him, my partner, Alex, had to deal with the many times I nearly ended it. To the point where even if he was in school, he'd go out of his way to stop me, I still feel guilty, even if he said it was fine.

I don't understand myself anymore.

Why do I even have such an attachment to this series? Its just a stupid silly series for funsies isn't it? Why does my life to depend on it?

Unfortunately, it just does.

It sucks. Pushing away my needs for the sake of this passion, only for it to just not go as I hoped it would go. Did I mention I'm also losing followers on the osix family blog? Thats so silly and coquette.

I'm so sorry if im coming off as guilt-trippy, please I don't want it to sound that way, I just want to express how deeply troubled I am because to me it actually DOES HURT.

I envy people who couldn't give a flying fuck about whether or not their stuff goes famous or gets love, I don't even understand why I am so dependent or hungry on whatever attention it gets. I hate that im like this. I want to be free from it but I just crave it.

So, for the sake of my mental health and whatever is left of my sanity, im taking a break, for good.

I will not be updating The Osix Family or Wilted Ivory at this very moment. For how long? It depends on how fucked up I have actually turned out to be today.

I might still post, keyword: MIGHT, its not any update but to just simply draw for myself, but the chances of me posting anything is horribly low.

I'm going to focus on myself, my needs, and whatever makes me happy or have fun with.

To those who supported The Osix Family or even bothered to check it out: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

It means a lot to me, you have NO idea. Every single like, reblog, comment, hype or even the silliest amounts of theories or thoughts, they make me so happy, it actually heals me.

I can't remember names im sorry, but there was a time someone expressed how they were invested in the lore and loved the world building, it really made my day. Or when someone pointed out some small details on my waiting in a miracle animatic, it warmed my heart.

I have troubles expressing it, but im so, SO greatful.

Especially when some of my mutuals started making OCS FOR THE SERIES?? Like– it felt like a HUGE compliment.

I cant believe im tearing up as im typing this haha im so stupid lmao, but

Thank you. A lot.

And to those who weren't really into The Osix Family, its okay, don't feel bad, sometimes things are just not our cup of tea, I just needed to express my grief, cause honestly bottling it up isn't going to end well for me (and it really didn't multiple times).

I apologize for any false hope or let down your hype as Wilted Ivory was just starting and The Osix Family was finally coming back– but this treatment is overwhelming me that I need to take a step back.

That's all for now.

Thank you for... actually reading, you listening means a lot to me too.

Goodbye.

[gabessquishytum]

Okay I literally haven't interacted on tumblr for years but I scroll through dreamling stuff a lot and I see your posts all the time and I know I won't ever write this myself cause I'm an ADHD mess but I have this idea I can't stop thinking about: So you know all those fics where Hob gets amnesia for some reason or another and Dream has to take care of him cause he can't remember anything about who he his or that he's immortal. I keep thinking, what if he only lost like 30 years of memories due to a specific curse or something (idk maybe he pisses off a witch and they're like "have fun being a literal baby in an adult man's body muahahaha!") so the last thing he remembers it was 1992 and he was in the process of establishing the New Inn since he was stood up three years ago. Cut to current and he and Dream have been dating for months after reuniting and being friends for a while and falling in love (naturally) and Dream visits regularly and sporadically so while Hob is trying to figure out what fucking year it is and how he's suddenly a professor when just the other day he was applying for classes and how does he now live in the inn that he literally just started building a month ago WTF IS GOING ON!!?!?!

Cut to Dream to showing up out of the blue and Hob freaking out because his stranger is back and acting super sweet and friendly and what the actual fuck is going on!!

Dream of course figures out something is wrong and gets Hob to come clean and he is murderous, How DARE someone put a curse on HIS HOB!!! I don't really have an exact idea of how this is all rectified, maybe Dream tracks down the witch and tortures them until they take the spell back, maybe he removes the curse himself since he's just that powerful, maybe it's broken with true love's kiss?? (lmao idk, I'm not super into that trope but if that's what you wanna go for be my guest)

Omg I feel so blessed that you went to the trouble of writing this out for me, friend! Yay!!

I feel like it would be incredible to see Hob going back to post-1989 abandonment trauma. In his mind he's still desperately trying to get over the fact that Dream didn't show up. Realistically he's not coping all that well, although he's setting himself up in his new life, he's still crying a lot and making questionable decisions and getting blackout drunk at 2pm. This trauma added together with the utter confusion of being thrust into a place and time that he doesn't know, REALLY freaks him out.

So Dream has to go into caretaking mode and make sure that Hob doesn't have a total breakdown. He's a little better when Dream is around, but he's still so confused and tearful a lot of the time. He needs a lot of reassurance from Dream, lots of explanation about 21st century life, and Dream is happy to provide.

I have this idea of the curse slowly wearing off over time, because Dream has taken care of Hob so well. Maybe one of the rules of the curse was that it would last until someone truly cared for Hob, body and soul. Dream still threatens the witch though of course. He's determined that no one will ever hurt Hob again (himself included, because now he knows exactly how upset Hob was by his abandonment).

When Hob fully regains his memories he drags Dream straight to bed and profusely thanks him for his sweet and tender care. Dream would gladly do it all again for nothing... but the sex IS a nice reward.

[love-and-monsters]

intrigued by the concept of "harem manager", please tell me more!

Okay, so the idea comes about from looking at species that have harems in real life- specifically ones that have female mimics. The idea is that while an alpha male looks significantly different from females and will drive off other males from mating with them, a beta male looks much more similar to the females. They just kind of insert themselves into the harem and mate with the females (and sometimes the alpha males!) surreptitiously.

My thought was, as the species evolved and moved toward intelligence, it would be harder and harder for the beta males to actually trick the alpha males. As language and communication evolved, there would be a lot more social knowledge about who's in what group, and I just don't think it would be feasible for beta males to fly under the radar forever. Instead, these beta males would make themselves useful to the alpha to avoid getting kicked out.

In the way distant past, beta males would sort of appoint themselves as harem keepers. They would be the ones to make sure the ladies in the harem were taken care of, groomed, fed, and made comfortable. They would also sometimes act as spokesmen for their alpha, talking him up to entice other ladies into the harem. In return, they would be allowed to have children of their own, though typically less often than the alpha. This reproductive strategy ended up allowing alphas to have larger harems, maintain larger swathes of territory, and successfully raise more children, and allowed the beta males to live relatively protected lives with guaranteed children in the future.

In more modern society, beta males (known typically as gynomorphs) are appointed to larger harems as harem managers. Their role is pretty much the same as it was in the past- ensure the happiness and harmony of the harem. Sort out fights, ensure everyone is treated fairly, and make sure the ladies of the harem are kept comfortable. A harem manager often acts as something of a combo between a head servant (in wealthy families, it's his job to manage the servants who interact with the harem, in less wealthy families he might take on the role of a servant himself) and counselor. If any of the ladies in the harem have an issue, they're encouraged to go to him first, so see if he can sort it out.

The gender breakdown is about 60% female, 30% male, and 10% gynomorph, so not every harem has a manager. Gynomorphs as individuals tend to have a lot of individual social mobility (even someone born to a poor family will often live a generally good life, since wealthier people have larger harems and more often need a manager, so any halfway competent gynomorph will often get snapped up into one of these families) but they had no ability to socially move their families. In the specific society I've created, gynomorphs don't take on family names and just take the family name of whatever harem they manage, so they can't elevate family statuses.

Gynomorphs who don't have harems often struggle. They tend toward hospitality positions, since it's considered 'appropriate,' but most of those who take those positions tend to have harems and work on the side to make extra money for their families. The issue is that gynomorphs who don't have harems are seen as either incompetent (they screwed up their job bad enough to get fired, something that's hard to do unless you REALLY fucked up due to the relative rarity of gynomorphs) or deviant (they aren't in a harem so they don't want a harem position, which is typically seen as selfish at best or perverted at worst, if they're engaging in romantic relationships).

Whether or not gynomorphs and males of the same harem are related varies society by society. They often aren't, though it's not uncommon for cousins to be paired up as teenagers in wealthier families. Some societies consider it unusual but not worth remarking on if the gynomorph and male of a harem are siblings. Other societies consider it basically the same as incest.

I could talk more on the physical differences between gynomorphs and males, but I think this is long enough. People can ask if they want more details in that realm! Anyway, I'm just into the dynamics at play here. I think it's cool.

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

Hey!!

Got word that apparently someone might be impersonating me on discord?? What the fuck.

Anyways this is my actual discord info. I have ONE DISCORD ACCOUNT and anyone else is not me

Discord still has the "originally known as" feature, so please use that if you get any messages from "me" that are saying fucked up shit or trying to scam you :/

[themintman]

that one "do you think we're friends in every universe" Dan and Tray post I made AGES ago but space dogified.. rubs my hands together like a cartoon villain

The drawing 👇👇 based on this one painting my friend sent me AGES ago to draw for a different au (mermal 🎉🐟) but uh. IT GOT TURNED INTO A TDM THING-

also the original post I made

[tchutomu]

reading a book named "the sunshine court" shouldn't have made me cry so hard and loud and ugly that I couldn't even read the screen of my stupid e-reader anymore yet here we are

[forcebookish]

had to stop taking the new adhd medication but the good news is i can drink coffee and iced tea again

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

[thedreadvampy]

it's been a strange arc so far

when I was 19-21 and having an extremely imbalanced relationship with someone in their mid 30s I was like 'we are both adults so the fact that this is fucking me up is my fault'

when I hit my late 20s and saw how young people in their late teens and early 20s seem now I was like 'oh wait I was so fucking young I didn't know shit about my own limits or about managing relationships and I don't know why someone in their mid to late 30s would be into that except for nefarious purposes'

the weird bit is now I'm into my 30s - not even that far into my 30s - and while I still wholeheartedly believe that last thing about how young (and self destructive) 20 year olds are, I'm also kind of like 'huh, actually nobody I know that age has their shit remotely together and frankly the reason this fucked me up is because NEITHER of us knew what the fuck we were doing it how to cope, for different reasons and at different life stages, and there probably wasn't any malice or intent to control as much as there was Blind Flailing.'

[soap-is-an-artist]

Hooray... it's 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night listening to the imperium... I feel so happy and satisfied with my life choices...

I am feeling very much not cowabunga, dude

[SEVERE rambling in tags]

[loverboybrightsideghost]

"reblog for something lgbt to happen to you" at this point i'd be grateful if something straight happened to me

[altruistic-meme]

me: *existing*

my brain: hey heres another fic idea!!! and another!!!! oh wouldn't it be so cool if you wrote this??? wouldn't you LOVE to plan this fic out??? you should definitely plan this one, i promise you don't even have to write it ;) [<- is lying, knows that i'll want to write it even more if i plan it]