#supportive Kensi

[ejzah]

A/N: Once again, a tiny idea morphed into a much longer than intended fic. Enjoy the angst!

***

Relapse

Kensi had learned after Deeks was tortured by Sidorov that in addition to withdrawing from everyone around him when he was in a state of distress, he forgot to take care of himself as well. It had taken her a while to pick up on the pattern, but now, especially after living together for three years, she knew all the signs. He tended not to eat often enough, his meticulous cleaning schedule became disrupted, and he either barely moved at all, or spent hours exhausting his body in an attempt to quiet his mind.

So one week in the middle of summer when Kensi noticed the counters hadn’t been wiped down in a few days, and the laundry hamper was nearing capacity—something that never occurred since they moved in together—she took note. It wasn’t a cause for massive alarm, but enough that she decided to keep a close eye on Deeks. They’d just come off a horrific case that lasted over three weeks and had them all running on fumes.

Maybe he just needed the time to recuperate, she reasoned. She’d certainly been on edge and snapped at everyone more than usual, including Deeks, who had the misfortune of spending their few hours away from work with her.

On Tuesday, they had a fairly slow day, the latter part of which they spent cleaning out in-boxes and catching up on the procedures that got overlooked during intense cases. It gave them a much needed opportunity to bond and unwind.

Inevitably, Sam and Callen ended up in argument over who had actually taken down their most recent criminal.

“Nope, I definitely reached him before you did,” Callen insisted in that tone that meant he was just arguing for the joy of watching Sam grow more irritated. Kensi dipped her head to conceal a smile.

“Are you kidding me? You weren’t even close. He’d still be on the run if we left it to you,” Sam objected, shaking his head in exasperation.

“I don’t know, Sam, Deeks is the one who distracted him,” Kensi pointed out. She waited expectantly for Deeks to jump in with his own comment, but none came.

Kensi realized he’d been quiet through most of the teasing and banter, when normally he’d be egging Sam right alongside Callen. His body was turned slightly away, gaze focused in the direction of the back wall. She wondered if he saw anything at all.

The silence grew long enough for it grow slightly awkward, and Kensi hastily added, “I’m just saying it’s a group effort.”

“Yeah, you can keep your “group effort”, Sam made air quotes around the last two words. “I’m the one who tackled him, and that’s all that matters.” He jabbed a button on his laptop keyboard. “And I’m outta here. Don’t even think of calling me before 6 tomorrow morning.”

Callen left shortly after Sam, followed by Eric and Nell, who seemed in a hurry.

“You want to grab tacos on the way home?” she asked once she finished her own paperwork, leaning across the front of Deeks’ desk. “I’ll buy.” She let her tone drop flirtatiously, shimmying her shoulders.

“Uh, I’m really behind on my LAPD paperwork,” Deeks answered without looking up. “I think I’m going to stay a little bit later.”

“This is the first night we’ve gotten out before 7 in weeks.”

Finally looking up, Deeks sighed heavily, swiping his hair out of his eyes with a careless hand. Even in the dim light, she could tell his eyes were bloodshot.

“I know. LAPD will get on my case if I wait any longer though. I’ll just be a couple hours, ok?” He gave her a pleading, regretful look, that Kensi was powerless to ignore.

“Ok.” She leaned closer, tipping his chin a little higher to kiss him. “Don’t be too long,” she said.

“I won’t,” Deeks promised, returning her kiss with a brush of his lips. “Love you.”

***

It was a full four hours later when Kensi heard the front quietly open and shut. She’d tried not to wait up, even going to bed, but too many thoughts and worries circled through her brain to get anywhere close to sleep. She tracked Deeks’ movement through the house; he stopped in the kitchen, got a glass of water, checked on Monty in the living room, then finally headed to their room.

Kensi rolled over onto her side when he walked in, knowing there wasn’t any point in pretending to sleep. Deeks stood by the closet, taking off his shoes.

“Hey,” she murmured. He stilled at the sound of her voice, shoulders caving for a second before he turned around.

“Hey. Sorry.”

She didn’t know if he was apologizing for possibly waking her. Or coming home late.

“It’s ok.” Holding out her hand, she waited until he was within reaching distance, and pushed herself up enough to slide her hand around his neck. He let her pull him down, releasing a slightly pained noise. Kensi slid her fingers up into his hair, finding the strands damp.

She didn’t call him on it, just holding him tighter when their lips parted. She felt the tension in his shoulders and back, so tight it seemed he might snap at any moment.

“Come to bed,” she told him, pulling back the covers. When Deeks slid in beside her, she curled around him, hoping took some comfort in her touch.

***

Kensi’s worry skyrocketed as she watched Deeks withdraw more every day. This time around, he tended towards movement, which meant he either woke up early (assuming he’d slept at all) or stayed after work to work out. At the same time, his appetite seemed to have disappeared.

She tried to combat it all by bringing him a donut in the morning or cajoling him into bed and doing her best to soothe him to sleep. It wasn’t enough, but she was hesitant to push too hard.

“Hey, I brought you some soup,” she said one evening as she came back from a food run. Deeks had very noticeably not requested anything.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, not even pausing considering the bucket she plunked down in front of him.

“Baby, you didn’t eat breakfast this morning. It’s after six. You need to have something.”

“Kens—”

“No,” Kensi interrupted sharply, forgetting her decision to remain quietly supportive, to say nothing. “You are tired, you’re not eating, you’re not talking, and I am done letting you fade right in front of me.”

His head sank forward for a moment, and he rubbed his hands over his face, emitting the deepest of sighs. When he looked up again, the shadows in his eyes were even darker, and Kensi’s heart clenched painfully for him.

“I’m just struggling a little right now. I’ll get over it,” he insisted dully. “I always do.”

“You don’t have to do it alone though. You have me,” Kensi reminded him, moving around his desk to crouch in front of him. She grabbed his hands, clasping them between hers. “Let me help you.”

“I want to…” he shook his head, tilting his head back with a sorrowful expression. “It just feels like everything terrible feeling is amplified by a hundred and anything good is dampened.” He smiled sadly. “Only thing that helps sometimes is when you’re holding me at night.”

“I’ll do anything you need, anything. But please don’t push me away. I can’t bear that.”

“I’ll try.” He nodded, eyes damp. Kensi drew his forehead to her shoulder, weaving her fingers into his hair.

“And eat your soup.”

That got a weak out laugh out of him. Drawing back, he grabbed the tub across his desk, popping the lid off.

Kensi knew that one meal wouldn’t magically fix everything, but as he slowly worked his way through the soup, it was a step the right direction.

Under the table, Deeks reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly.

[oneforthemunny]

heartbroken about dave grohl, taking comfort in my rockstar eddie never wavering…right? vega alone would fuck him up.

never. genuinely could never because he loves, supports, respects women, but like… nb is on another level. like yeah they’re women, and she’s his fucking god.

like he’s not attracted to other women in a way that he’s so fucking annoyed and uncomfortable if one tries to flirt with him. you would not believe this was the sex god of the 90s bc he’ll just stand there like 🧍‍♂️ eyeing nb with the wildest look like “come save me plz”

even if he wanted to (which he wouldn’t) he’s got too many kids to cheat, too damn busy lol. like he’s mr. mom bc his career slows down as hers picks up. he’s got the fucking drop off line at three, ok? and then sephy has piano and kensington has soccer and the twins have karate and sephy has a science project due and kensie wants to play dress up - like he’s fucking booked and busy.

[gunpowderxsunshine]

Chenford and Densi | parallel

Tim and Deeks being supportive of Lucy and Kensi

[densi-mber]

A/N: This one takes places during season 8, once Kensi’s in rehab and we’re introduced to Sullivan. Borne from the moment when Deeks says Kensi doesn’t want to do things with him.

***

I’ll Try Not to Take it Personally

They’re driving back from Kensi’s outpatient therapy, a John Denver song in the background, Kensi in the passenger seat, using two fingers to tap out texts on her phone. It’s on the laborious side, but better than when she had minimal function. She chuckles at something. It’s just a little huff of laughter.

It catches his attention though and makes him wonder who or what elicited such a response. Although he in no way blames her, the laughs are few and far between. Sometimes Kensi seems to appreciate his attempts to at humor, while other times she seemed irritated by it all.

His thoughts drift back to earlier in the morning when he’d walked in on her and Sullivan nearly wrestling. The way the guy had talked about him knowingly, almost mocking.

“So, what Sullivan’s story?” he asks, going for casual. Kensi looks up, and when he looks her way for a second, her nose is scrunched in apparent confusion.

“Sullivan? Why do you want to know about him?”

“I don’t know, you just seem to spend a lot of time with him in rehab. Yet you never really talk about him.”

“What’s there to talk about? We do therapy, he says stupid things, I shove carrots in his ears,” Kensi rattled off and he grins. It doesn’t surprise him she’s found a way to turn PT and OT into a competitive activity.

“I’m sure that’s an approved and well-tested therapy strategy,” he jokes.

“Hey, maybe it’s not conventional, but it helps pass the time.” She pauses, then adds, “Even though he annoys me 90% of the time, he makes it easier somehow. I don’t feel like he’s pitying me or whatever. He’s just Sullivan.”

Deeks knows there’s nothing to worry about; he trusts Kensi’s fidelity to him completely. It doesn’t do anything to quell the slight jealousy that rises every time he walks into the rehab unit to find them taunting one another or laughing.

Maybe it remind him a little too much of how he and Kensi started out. Or maybe he’s just that desperate for more time with her.

“Maybe I can come to one of your nest sessions,” he suggests. “I always feel like I’m a step behind when you’re working on something new. I can be your exercise partner.”

“Oh, baby, you don’t need to do that,” Kensi says quickly. He tells himself the slight panic in her voice is his imagination.

“Yeah, but I want to.”

“Deeks…” she sighs. “I don’t want you to see me like that. Sometimes I get frustrated and it’s really not pretty.”

He doesn’t tell her he’s seen a lot of not pretty things in the last few months. Like her in bleeding out under a helicopter or stuck in a coma. Apparently Sullivan can see her at her most vulnerable though.

This isn’t about him, he reminds himself. She’ll look for support when shes ready.

“Do you wanna grab sushi when I get done at OPS?” he asks after a long silence. “The new place has a special on Wednesdays. We haven’t had a real date night since you got released from the hospital.”

“Deeks, I’d love to, but I already made plans with Nell,” Kensi explains apologetically. “It’s this artsy thing that’s only out for a few weeks. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s ok,” he lies, forcing a smile. “Have a great time with Nellosaurus.”

[writeandsurvive]

Author's note: I liked this idea at first and I still do, but I'm not I did a good job at writing it. Sorry if it's not great.

Summary: You always respected rule 12, until you couldn't anymore

Warnings: angst and comfort, 'normal' ncis stuff, mostly based on ep 20x14 'old wounds', ex/booty call, jealousy, Alden being a dick to the team, happy!Gibbs in Alaska

Damaged Goods ~ Alden Parker

You've always respected Gibbs' rules, they actually became a code for you to live by. And Rule 12 - never date a coworker - was in your top 3, because you saw how bad it could turn. You saw Gibbs and Jenny having this strange connection, Tony and Ziva invading each other's lives but never being able to be together until very recently (let's be honest, it can only work because they left the agency), and lately Nick and Ellie. Lots of struggles and heartbreak. The only exception being your friends from LA, Kensi and Deeks. Every rule needs its exception, and since they had this spot, you knew it wouldn't work for you.

And surprisingly, you did pretty well all those years. Never dated someone from the office, nor even a federal agent. You never even had a crush on someone from NCIS.

But that was before.

Before him.

Alden Parker.

At first, you told yourself it was just some kind of attraction because let's be honest, this man is incredibly gorgeous. Knowing you'd never act on it - and Alden didn't seem to feel the same anyways - you decided to call your booty call a little more often; someone you actually dated a while back, with whom it didn't really work but the sex was amazing. You're a human with needs after all.

The team knew Joel, except for the two new additions, Alden and Jess. So when J dropped you off at work after a night at his place and kissed you goodbye under Alden's eyes, he immediately assumed it was your boyfriend, which you didn't see the point of denying.

Seeing Joel more regularly worked for a while, until it didn't. Spending more and more time with Alden, discovering about him and all those things he loves, seeing him take care of his plants like a dad, bringing pastries almost everyday, showing love and support to the team,... You weren't just attracted to him, you were developing feelings for him.

When a case involved his ex-wife Vivian, you realized how bad you had it. You felt jealous about how he still cared for her, thinking he may still be in love with this woman. And you were just envious of Vivian for being married to this man for ten years. How could she let him go, you'll never understand.

Despite the way you felt towards her, you offered support to Alden when she got shot. Showing up at the hospital with food as she was still in surgery, you told him he could count on you if he needed anything. It took you by surprise when he reached for a hug as a thank you, you didn't have time to appreciate it, his body against yours, his arms around you, his smell right up in your nose. It was all over too soon.

For weeks after this event, he never talked about Vivian again, so you convinced yourself she got back to her life and nothing was going on between them. You were relieved and happy.

Meanwhile, you kept seeing Joel, and he asked you to be his date at a family wedding. You had no reasons to refuse. But working for NCIS being what it is, you had to change and prepare yourself at the office. Jess and Kasie helped you with hair and make up, and allowed you to leave only when they were satisfied with their work. Walking back to the bullpen, you immediately spotted Joel talking with the boys. He looked very handsome in his fancy suit, but your eyes quickly fell on Alden who was already staring at you. You shyly smiled but he turned his face. When you finally reached them, Nick whistled at you. "Looking hot, mama!" You giggled and thanked him.

"Wouldn't say it that way, but Torres is right!" Tim agreed.

"Why thank you very much, Timmy."

You looked back at Alden's desk but it was empty. He had disappeared. Shaking off the deception - you'd have loved to know what he thought - you focused on Joel, who grabbed your hand and made you spin. "You're gonna outstage the bride." He then gently kissed your lips and that was when you saw Alden again from the corner of your eyes, upstairs, near the MTAC entrance. Fucking Houdini. His face was unreadable.

When you came back to the office on Monday, things with Alden had changed. He got distant with you, teaming you up with everyone but him, not getting interested in your free time anymore, and barely answering when you got interested in him and his life.

You couldn't help but get hurt at his behavior. And your defense mechanism was to hurt back, so you ignored him even more. If you told him three sentences a day, it was a miracle and it was strictly about work. Moreover, you were back to calling him 'Parker' or 'Sir', after switching to 'Alden' months prior. Maybe you were being petty, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

What hurt the most was when Parker invited the team for game night at his place, and you only heard about it by Kasie. "What do you mean you're not invited?"

"I mean I didn't get an invite, a question, a text, a call, or a damn pigeon."

"I'm sure he counted you in anyways. We're a small group, he knew it'd reach you."

"Doesn't matter, I'm not going."

Somehow, by the end of that day, Alden stopped you in the hallways. "Hey, are you coming tonight or not?"

You stared at him for a second before laughing sarcastically, "Kasie scares you that much?"

"Look, I just assumed you'd spend the night with Jonas--"

"Joel." You corrected, arms crossed over your chest.

"Joel, right. But anyways, I didn't think you'd want to come, so--"

"You assumed wrong, Parker. Very wrong. But I don't want your pity invite, so I'll not be there." You started to walk away from him but he was quick to grab your arm and make you face him again.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me. I let my --" he sighed. "I shouldn't have assumed. And I'd really like it if you would come to game night at my place."

Alden really looked apologetic and sincere. All you wanted to do was say yes after asking him why he had been acting like this with you. No, the complete truth was that all you wanted was to close the gap and kiss the life out of his man. You wanted his hands and mouth on you, his cock inside you, his noises in your ear.

You never felt this way before, and it scared the shit out of you.

"Too late, I made plans with Jonas." This time he let you leave.

It was a big fat lie though. You spent the night alone in your apartment, drinking, and feeling sorry for yourself. And before you knew it, you were booking a plane ticket to Alaska for the following weekend. You didn't tell anyone you were going to visit Gibbs. All they knew was that you requested your Friday and Monday off to leave town. Of course, everybody assumed it meant a little getaway with Joel.

It felt amazing to see Gibbs after months, and you were so glad to see how well and peaceful he looked. He showed you his new place, took you around this little town he called home - it didn't take long -, he took you on a boat ride, and fishing. Photography being one of your hobbies, you spent lots of time snapping anything that caught your eye. At night, you'd eat his infamous steak, and have a drink on his porch, facing the lake and mountains. "So, you gonna tell me why you're here?"

"I told you, I wanted to see you. I miss you."

"I miss you too, sweetheart, but I'm no idiot. Talk."

You told him everything and much to your surprise, Gibbs laughed once you were done. "Laughing at my misery? Alaska makes you mean, Leroy."

"I'm laughing because you're the idiot."

"Wow, thanks?"

"Parker has a thing for you. It's obvious. He's ignoring you cause he's jealous of Joel. Who, by the way, is still desperately in love with you." Gibbs laughed more at the face you made. Pure confusion, you looked like you were trying to figure out string theory. "Here, have one more." He poured you another glass of bourbon, and watched you drink it in one swallow.

"Okay first things between me and Joel are pretty clear --"

"Maybe for you. Honey, all you have to do is snap your fingers and he's there, despite breaking up with you, because--and I quote 'this job doesn't leave you much time for us'"

You sighed and went for the bottle but Gibbs grabbed it first. "Not yet." He said, putting it by his feet.

"Now, about Parker. He's friends with Tobias you know, and Tobias calls me often."

"Okay?"

"Parker asked Tobias about you, soon after he joined the team."

"What kind of things did he ask?"

"Things you like outside the office, your backstory, if you were in a relationship..."

"I don't believe you."

"Call Fornell, and you'll see."

"I check on Toby every week, we try to see each other whenever I can and he never said anything about that."

"Because he knows."

"Knows what?"

"Alden could be your Shannon, your Diane, sweetheart."

You tried to enjoy the rest of your trip, but you couldn't. Everything Gibbs told you was replaying in your mind and you tried to remember whatever you could, any interaction with Alden that wasn't work related. Were Gibbs and Fornell reading too much into this or were you completely blind? As an investigator, this made you question your abilities. If he really had a thing for you, how could you not notice? Or was he a really good actor?

You thought about Joel too, and maybe a part of you knew that but selfishly, you never questioned it too much. It was nice to have someone to call whenever you needed, whether it was for sexual relief or just have someone there to hold your hand, which he always did.

On the plane back home, you decided to have a very thorough and honest conversation with Joel. You didn't want to lose him as you really care about the man, but it was for the best.

But you came back to a weird vibe at work. As you got into the office on Tuesday morning, everyone was already here except Alden - admittedly you felt relieved as it gave you more time to prepare yourself to see again - and the team got you up to speed. "We had a case yesterday, a murder that looks like drugs related and Parker stormed off. He's been MIA since." Jess informed you.

"I went to his house last night but he wasn't there. Called, texted and nothing."

"That's not very Parker like," you conceded, puzzled by what they were telling you.

They gave you more details about the case, and theories they had thus far - wasn't much - and Alden finally walked in. "That's a W. For Wills, Clayton Wills." He quickly took his coat off and threw it in his chair. You sat back at your desk, and started to do research on this Clayton guy. Nick asked about pastries and Alden immediately lost it on him.

"Do I have to do everything around here while you just beg for pastries and sit on your ass at your damn desk?!" He angrily shouted, standing face to face with Nick. Who was this guy?

"Agent Parker!" You all heard from upstairs, where Leon Vance was standing. Alden sighed and walked to the director.

Everyone agreed that something was very wrong.

During the day, the team made progress on the case, but Alden wasn't calming down. He kept snapping about everyone, making it sound like the team was just a bunch of useless investigators. He wasn't with you though, as he was utterly ignoring you. You honestly felt invisible. If you said something, Alden would answer to someone else, like it wasn't you who talked.

This was a side of him you never saw before and you didn't like it very much. By the end of the day, you were all in the evidence garage, when a man in a wheelchair arrived, asking for Alden. "You're Jeremy Brighton?" Tim asked him with a smile. "My wife and I love your book and your podcast! - Tim McGee," he extended his hand.

You all proceeded to introduce yourselves, but when it got to you, Jeremy already knew your name. No time to ask for some explanation as Alden walked out of the elevator and a moment later, you knew why this case was personal to him; Wills' case was the one that got Jeremy in a wheelchair. It explained a lot, but it didn't minimize Alden's behavior with the team. Especially since he kept snapping, until Vance actually benched him on Wednesday.

You never meant to eavesdrop on Alden and Jeremy's conversation in Autopsy, but they arrived, not knowing you were the supply closet. The door was slightly opened, you could hear everything they were saying and it was obviously too late to let them know you were there.

"It was my bullet that hit your spin, Jer! And that guilt is eating me alive." His voice broke and you felt shivers in your entire body. You wanted to get out and hugged him forever.

They kept arguing back and forth. Jeremy telling his best friend it's not easy to live with Alden's guilt on top of everything, and Alden saying that his hobbies are just a way to fill the void. That man was broken, the guilt had been slowly killing him for years.

"Since we're spilling the beans, are we going to talk about her?" Your ears tickled.

"Not a chance." Alden was stern.

"She's as pretty as you told me, more even." You could hear Jeremy's smile. "Don't tell Josie I said that though."

Alden's small laugh was a bit covered by the body drawer being closed. "I will if you don't shut up."

"I may have made a mistake -- I guessed her name before she told me." Oh yeah, they were clearly talking about you. You smiled despite yourself.

"What the fuck? Jer! She's not stupid, she's gonna question that!"

"Well you could tell her you've been pining over her since you joined."

"I haven't --"

Jeremy laughed. "'Jer, she was so pretty today.' 'Jer, she figured out the case all of her own, she's so smart.' 'Jer, she has a boyfriend. Of course she has one, how could a woman like her stay single?' 'Jer, I can't stop thinking about her, I need a lobotomy.' Should I go on?"

"I think I need a new best friend." You heard the automatic doors opening and closing and then silence.

So... It was all true? Alden has had a thing for you for over a year? He's been pining over you? While you had a thing for him too? You wanted to smile and cry at the same time. Cry for the lost time and the pain of the past months, and also for Alden's pain and guilt. Smile because the man you loved had feelings for you. Your stomach was jumping inside of you. You had to sit for a moment to process and figure out what you were going to do.

Obviously, having the conversation during this case wasn't an option, so the goal was to get it closed as fast as possible. Which the team did once you found out evidence against Wills. But of course, Alden was sent home by Vance instead of joining on the op to catch him.

However, Alden refused to let it go. After calling Tim to 'check', he went rogue; left Jeremy in his apartment, grabbed his gun and went to get Wills himself.

~

Seeing Alden holding Wills at gun point, his pretty face bleeding, and the pain and the guilt written all over his face, was your breaking point. You put your gun away, and slowly walked over to him, not caring about the team being there. You stared at his face, saw the tears in his eyes. But he wouldn't look at you, he kept staring at Wills who was on his knees. You let your hand run over his arm, until it reached his hands. "Let it go, Alden." You whispered, pressing on his hands so he would stop aiming at the scumbag. "Look at me." He shook his head no, but dropped his aim. The team proceeded on handcuffing Wills, but you didn't pay any attention to that. You grabbed the gun from his hands and handed it to Nick, slightly nodded at him. A silent understanding that they could go.

It was just you and Alden, in that dark forest. Thanks to some spotlights several feet away, you could see his face clearly as you stood in front of him. He looked down, still avoiding your eyes. You put your hands on each side of his face, softly stroked his beard for a moment before forcing him to look up. "We got him. You are okay and most importantly, Jeremy is okay. He seems to be a very happy man." At this moment, he locked eyes with him, slowly figuring out that you knew the entire truth. "It wasn't your fault."

How, he wanted to ask. It got caught up in his throat when you wrapped his arms around his neck, and held him tight. His shaky arms wrapped around your middle, and his face buried itself in your neck. "Not your fault." You repeated, playing with the small hair in the back of his head. He cried in your arms.

You drive him home with his car, holding his hand the entire ride. The music filled the silence, you didn't want to pressure him to talk. Once at his house, Jeremy was still there and immediately asked what happened. Alden just apologized, grabbed a beer and disappeared into his greenhouse. "Do you know a ride home?" You offered to his friend. "I'll come back here and stay if he lets me."

"He will, he needs you. He's--"

"I'm in love with him, Jeremy." You spurred out, not realizing the words leaving your mouth before it was too late.

Jeremy smiled. "I figured, but I'm glad to hear it. He's been self sabotaging his life and relationships since the accident, and he probably won't be easy 24/7, but please, stick with him. He's worth it."

"I've been told I'm pretty stubborn ever since I was born."

"Hopefully, you're more stubborn than he is."

"Are you done talking about me?" You heard from the greenhouse. You should've been embarrassed by the fact Alden probably heard your confession to Jeremy, but you were planning on telling him at some point, so you didn't. Plus, you were confident by the fact that he had feelings for you too.

"I'm leaving, pal. Looks like you're in good hands. I better see you at Eli's game this weekend."

With Jeremy gone, you joined Alden. He was drinking his beer while checking on his plants and flowers. "How do you know?" He asked, without looking at you.

"I heard you and Jeremy talking. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy or anything, I was there and you didn't see me--"

"I ruin everything I touch. Don't listen to Jer, you should leave before it's too late."

You knew that no words would convince him at this moment, so instead of talking, you grabbed his face and crashed your lips on his. It was the most meaningful first kiss you ever had. You tried to tell him how much you loved him with that kiss, and Alden returned with the same intensity. He held you by the back of your neck, trying to get you as close as possible to him.

You only separated when the need to breathe was too important. "Let's get this wound clean up."

As well as all of his other wounds.

[bullet-prooflove]

A Sight For Sore Eyes: Vostanik Sabatino x Reader

Tagging: @thiashazzywriting @words-and-seeds @novamariestark @whateversomethingbruh @trublu2u @stelacole

It’s on a lonely, dusty road in Iraq that you see Nik for the first time in four months. Your investigation has lead you from the naval aircraft carrier USS Allegiance to a covert mobile operations centre in the Middle East. You’ve both been working the same case, just from the opposite sides of the globe.

When you’d identified civilian contractor David Williamson as CIA Officer Vostanik Sabatino, it had become abundantly clear that the investigation had much larger international ramifications than you’d originally summarised. You, Kensi, Deeks and SEAL Team Leader Wallace had tracked him down to a mobile CIA command centre in the wilds of Northern Iraq so he could disclose the missing pieces of your puzzle.

It’s on the approach to the Command Centre that you’re set upon by three men with face coverings and US issued automatic weapons. You’d know Nik’s eyes anywhere, you’ve spent countless hours getting lost in them over the years so when the leader lowers their weapon you step forward despite the others hesitancy.

It’s that smile you’ve missed more than anything. When his fingers hook on the fabric over his mouth, drawing it down under his chin, it feels like your entire world just lights up. Everything else just falls away and it’s just you and him locked in a moment in time.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” He says as he steps forward and embraces you.

His arms wrap around your body as he gathers you up against him. He buries his face into the curve of your neck, clasping you close and you know he doesn’t want to let you go, you don’t either. It’s been too long since you’ve last laid eyes on him, since you’ve held him, since you’ve loved him.

“I’ve missed you baby.” He whispers against your skin and it touches some place deep inside of you. There have been so many lonely nights without him, so many times you’ve wanted to pick up the phone and call.

“I missed you too Nik.” You whisper as your lips brush over his cheek. “I missed you too.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[chicgeekgirl89]

Well, it’s been a week since the end of our beloved NCIS LA, and Sunday nights will never be the same. I’ve been meaning to post something that feels like a farewell and the first Sunday night after seems to be the right timing for it.

I found NCIS LA when I was in grad school. My first time out on my own, living in a crappy apartment with a roommate named Karen who was exactly as whacky as you’d imagine a person getting a master’s degree in opera could be. I don’t even know how I found the show, it must have been a rerun. But there was Deeks and there was Kensi my brain immediately said, “Wait, okay, one of them must have been injured at some point, right?” And I found Personal and the rest is history.

I had written and posted fanfic before, but nothing to the scale at which I posted Densi fic. I don’t even know how I had time to watch the show and write in between classes and working basically forty hours a week, but I made it happen because I had to. These beautiful characters had a grip on me that wouldn’t let go and the ideas just refused to quit.

Halfway through my first year I found Tumblr and was very excited to have a place to chat about Supernatural. Instead I found a happy little corner of the internet and friends I didn’t even know I needed.

@raccoonsmate4life, @aprylynn, @ejzah, @glenncoco4, and @wanna-be-bold you all have become such an incredible encouragement to me. I don’t know where my writing would be without your constant support and validation and endless kind words. 

@mashmaiden, the keeper of the fandom, the person to whom no question was too small or too obscure, thank you for your service and kindness. I have often said you are the kindest person in the world, and I do truly mean that!

@chrisodonline, my saltiest of friends, I have enjoyed our chats so much. You made the highs feel higher and the lows feel bearable. I am lucky to know you!

And @bluenet13...well, I don’t even know what to say about our friendship. LA started it, SEAL Team cemented it, and now you’re stuck with me forever. Thank you for listening to my ranting and raving and sobbing and being the first person I ever trusted to read a fic before posting it.

And to everyone else who has interacted with my posts or read my fic, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I didn’t know fandom could be like this, and it has truly been such an incredible experience because of all of you!

It seems only fitting that a show that had such a beautifully tightly knit cast has handed me the best online friendships I could ask for. The show might be over, but this definitely isn’t goodbye! 

In retrospect, maybe the real NCIS LA was the friendships we made along the way...

[bluenet13]

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

Fandom: NCIS Los Angeles.

Characters: Marty Deeks, Kensi Blye.

Summary: After hearing disturbing noises, Deeks and Kensi confront their neighbors suspecting the husband is abusing his wife. But when things escalate, they find themselves in a dangerous situation.

For the @badthingshappenbingo​ prompt: domestic abuse.

AO3 - ff.net

Hey all, long time no see. It's been a while. I wrote this fic the week they announced the show's cancellation, and, after that, it just didn't seem right to post it right away. I never like to close doors, but I'm not sure if I'll ever write another fic for NCISLA. So, if this is my last, thank you. Thank you to the show, to Deeks and ECO, and the rest of characters and cast, for changing my life. And thank you to everyone that read and commented on my stories in the past. If it weren't for all your support, I wouldn't still be writing fanfiction 5 years after that one time I took a chance and decided to post 'Gray'.

Kensi walks into their house and immediately knows something is off. Deeks is kneeling on the floor, ear pressed against the wall, eyes closed in concentration.

"Deeks? What are you doing?" she asks, setting her bag down on the kitchen table. "What's going on?"

He jumps at the sound of her voice, turning to face her with a look of concern on his face. His worry briefly flashes away, his eyes darkening when he traces her long legs, but it comes back tenfold when a crash sounds next door. "Shhh, it's happening again."

Kensi lets out a sigh of long-suffering, knowing exactly what he's talking about, but asking anyway. "What's happening again, baby?"

"He's hitting her again," Deeks says simply, blue eyes still darkened but for a completely different reason.

"We don't know that's what's happening here, we have talked about this," Kensi states, not wanting to dismiss Deeks' concerns but also not wanting to jump the gun. "For all we know they could be doing renovations."

Deeks shakes his head and gestures for her to come over and listen.

Kensi reluctantly nods and kneels down beside him, pressing her ear to the wall. She can hear the muffled sounds of a woman crying, and a man shouting in the background. "Maybe they're watching a very emotional movie?" She suggests.

"I know what house renovations sound like, and this isn't it," Deeks argues, abandoning his post by the wall and moving to the window. "I've also seen you watch Titanic a million times, and this is a different type of crying."

Kensi chuckles but shakes her head. "Maybe, but it's not something for us to deal with. We're supposed to be keeping our heads down," she pleads, joining Deeks by the window. She wraps her arms around him and rests her head on his shoulder, raising on her toes to kiss his cheek. Eventually she turns him away from the window and presses a kiss to his lips, trying to distract him.

Deeks deepens the kiss but just as quickly pushes away and looks at her, a pleading look in his eyes. "Kens, please. You know I've been hearing it for a few days now, and it's getting worse. I can't just sit here and do nothing."

Kensi presses their foreheads together and whispers, "Since we got married, we've already moved four times. I know a couple were due to the job, but there's also that one time you thought our neighbors were smugglers, and then you were convinced the old lady next door was working for Kessler. And I really don't want to have to move again. I so happen to love this house, and Rosa is settling down. She's in a good school and is making friends."

Deeks sighs and smiles sheepishly at her. "Okay, I was way off about the smugglers, but I still think there was something off about Edith, we just moved before I could prove it." He drops his head on Kensi's shoulder and holds her close, some of the tension ebbing from his back.

She hugs him back and they stay like that for a few minutes, but then another crash sounds from the house, followed by a shriek and what appears to be glass breaking. Deeks tenses again and dislodges himself from her arms, turning back to look out the window.

Kensi sighs and runs a hand over her face, dropping on the couch with a grunt. "Deeks, it could be a dog playing and hitting some furniture, or kids running around the house. Or they could be having issues with their plumbing or replacing the carpet. I'm not saying it's not what you think, but we can't be sure."

Deeks shakes his head, and turns around, running a hand through his hair, pushing back the wayward curls that fall on his eyes. "Kens, I know what domestic abuse sounds like," he murmurs, holding her gaze. "I wish a neighbor had cared enough when I was a kid to try to interfere. Now I can do that for someone else and I need to do it. I need to stop another 11-year-old from having to shoot their father."

"We don't even know if they have kids," Kensi tries, but stops as she takes in his broken expression. His eyes are on her, but he looks haunted, and his mind's eye is clearly lost in memories of a long-lost past. "Okay, let's call the cops then. Let them handle it."

"Cops won't do anything. She will say it was an accident and they will go and turn a blind eye to what's in front of their eyes." Deeks keeps talking as he walks to the bedroom, coming back wearing boots, and a jacket, the outline of his off-duty weapon hidden enough for a civilian but not well enough for his partner to miss. "Besides, there's nothing an abuser hates more than cops showing up unexpectedly at their door."

"Yes, and I'm sure they will love a couple of federal agents instead," Kensi deadpans.

"I'm not an agent. I'm an investigator," Deeks says matter-of-factly.

"You say that like any of us even knows what the difference is," Kensi says, standing up from the couch and catching Deeks' wrist.

A fleeting grin crosses Deeks' lips but he quickly pushes it away. "I don't have to go like an agent or investigator, I can be a concerned neighbor wanting to know if everything is okay, or just a clueless neighbor asking for some salt." Deeks softly pulls his arm away and continues to the front door. He sets his hand on the handle and turns around, his expression still serious but a twinkle in his eye. "Or I can just say my wifey is baking a cake and ran out of sugar." He grins and her eye roll is so automatic, so quick and familiar, that he almost misses it.

Kensi tries to pin him with a serious look, but a soft smile breaks over her face anyway. "Yeah, right. Like I ever bake anything."

"Yeah, you just buy a cake and try to make everyone believe you bake it." Deeks's lips curve upward into a smile at the memory from so long ago. "But they don't know that."

Kensi's eyes crinkle in silent response. She worries at her bottom lip, like Deeks has seen her do a thousand times when he's trying to make her laugh and she's trying to resist. It's as distractingly sexy as it's telling, and his resolve almost crumbles, forgetting about the neighbors and taking her to the bedroom instead.

Kensi sees her husband run his tongue over his lips and feels her body respond. Her feet automatically carry her a few steps forward and her hands are suddenly on him. One hand tangles on his hair and the other braces against his chest as though to get her point across. "Are you sure you don't want to call the cops to deal with that and go have some fun in the bedroom? Rosa won't be home for a few hours," she whispers next to his ear, tickling the soft skin there, before she inches down and presses a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I, uh, I-" Deeks is uncharacteristically at a loss for words, his mouth chasing after hers when she pulls back. He scrapes his teeth against her bottom lip and his eyes linger on them.

She laughs and tiptoes back towards their bedroom, her hands beckoning Deeks forward.

Deeks' first instinct is to follow, to not let her go so easily, but he has a duty that goes far beyond the LAPD oath he once swore and the NCIS manual he now follows. "Let's put a pause to this and we will continue later," he says, opening the door. "I'll be right back. You don't have to come."

Kensi groans and stops in her tracks, knowing she'd follow him anywhere he goes. "You're not going alone, Deeks. Give me a minute." She leans down and puts her shoes back on, then goes to grab her gun and badge and follows him out the door.

"Thank you," he says softly, his all-too-familiar grin finding its natural place on his face.

Kensi grins and squeezes his hand. "Anytime, partner. Now let's go bust down some doors."

"Wait, no, no. No busting down doors. We're just trying to help not cause more trouble," Deeks calls when he's left alone to chase after her, silently wondering why he thought it was a good idea to get his kickass wife to go confront their neighbors.

-x-x-x-

Together they make their way to their neighbor's house and softly knock on the door. As they wait, they take stock of the decaying plants on the sad looking pots on the porch and how all the curtains in the house are drawn. Eventually, a woman answers and they introduce themselves as neighbors, recalling how they met once why taking out the trash.

She reminds them her name is Cindy and tries to make some small talk but hesitates when her husband calls from inside the house demanding she turn the solicitors away. "I'm sorry, I was right in the middle of making dinner," she explains, blushing, but it's barely visible over the bruise already forming on her cheek.

"Is everything okay?" Deeks asks quickly as she begins to push the door shut. "We've noticed some noise coming from your house and wanted to make sure everything is alright," he says, trying to keep his tone light and not acussing.

Cindy's eyes flash and she inadvertently turns around back to the house. She opens her mouth but before she can say anything her husband, Johnny, steps up beside her. He instantly sets a hand on her hip and keeps the other behind the door, as if to limit their view of the inside.

"We don't want whatever you're offering, you can go now," Johnny says, trying to sound polite but coming across as demanding.

"We're not trying to sell you anything, we're your neighbors," Kensi interjects, signaling to their house. "We came to see if everything was alright after hearing some concerning noises."

Johnny seems taken aback by her directness but quickly composes himself. "Oh, sorry. Everything's fine. Just a minor disagreement while organizing the kitchen." He waves his hand dismissively and begins to pull his wife back inside.

Kensi can tell that he's not being entirely truthful and doubts the wife would risk saying anything incriminating in front of him. She glances over at Deeks, silently asking how far away he wants to take this.

Deeks subtly shakes his head, and says, "All good then. We also wanted to know if you've been having problems with your plumping or if it's just us."

Both Johnny and Kensi turn to him dumbfounded but he just smiles in return. "We got a leak, and the guy said it was due to old pipes. We're still new in the neighborhood so we were wondering if you have had any issues like that."

Johnny narrows his eyes, his defenses up after the abrupt subject change, but he answers anyway, "I can't say we have. But anything like that should have come up in your inspection so why don't you contact your realtor and let us move on with our night."

"We did," Deeks explains, "he said we should ask some of the neighbors to see if it's a community-wide issue. If you come with Kensi, she can show you."

Johnny reluctantly nods and follows Kensi across their yards, calling behind his back. "Go back inside, honey. I'll be right behind you. And remember I don't like my steak burned."

As they near the house, Kensi turns to look at Deeks and lifts her brow in a way that would be entirely threatening if she didn't look so hot, silently asking what the hell she's supposed to show him.

Deeks shrugs and throws her a wink as if to say you're a federal agent specializing in undercover work, figure it out.

Once Johnny is out of sight, Cindy tries to retreat back into the house, but Deeks asks her to listen to him for a second. He makes sure to take a step back as he speaks, his tone as soft and non-threatening as he can muster. "I think I know what's going on here and I know it's hard. I've been there before." At Cindy's disbelieving look, he raises his shirt slightly and points to a faint scar over his ribs. "It was a beer bottle when I was seven."

"I'm sorry," Cindy murmurs, and blinks her eyes rapidly but they fill even quicker.

"Thank you," Deeks says honestly. He knows the husband won't stay away for long, so he steers the conversation back towards her. "We can help you, if you want. You just say the word."

"He's not- He's not really." Cindy stops and wipes her tears away, winces when she bumps her blackening eye. It seems to spur her on and she nods. "How?"

"First we start by getting you away from here. I have some friends who can take you in for the night, or we can pick a shelter. I've volunteered at a few around LA, I can get you a bed. Then I'll call some friends at the LAPD." Cindy nods again and Deeks smiles, daring to hope this story will have a happy ending. "He won't hurt you again, I promise."

But Johnny is not as easily distracted as Deeks hoped and he quickly realizes what they are trying to do. Before Deeks knows what's happening, Johnny is on his face, clearly having heard at least the end of what he said. He's past being defensive and full on aggressive as he shouts, "What're you getting at?" He pulls Deeks back so roughly that he trips and would have fallen down if not for Kensi steading him. "Are you trying to accuse me of something?"

Deeks stands up straighter and doesn't back down. "We've heard some noises that sound like domestic disputes and we're concerned for your wife's safety," he says, no longer concerned with keeping the conversation civil.

Johnny's expression turns murderous and for a moment it's not his neighbor looking back at Deeks but one Gordon Brandel. "You have no right to come into my home and accuse me of something like that."

As Johnny becomes more agitated, voice raising and arms flailing about, Deeks turns back to Cindy. She's no longer inside the threshold of the house, but fully standing in the yard and cowering behind Kensi. Tears stream freely down her face and she's hugging herself as her small frame shakes. Deeks takes that as his sign and pulls out his phone.

He tries calling 9-1-1 but the husband suddenly punches him in the face, making him stumble and fall to the floor. Kensi quickly steps away from Cindy and pulls out her gun, pointing it at Johnny and telling him to back off.

Kensi helps Deeks get up and he wipes the blood from his lip. He cleans his hand on his pants and reaches back, grabbing his handcuffs off the waistband of his jeans and taking a step towards the husband. "You're under arrest, dumbass."

"It was self-defense," Johnny tries to claim as Deeks pulls his arms behind his back.

"I never laid a hand on you. And we have two witnesses to prove it." Deeks pushes him down to sit on the steps leading up to the porch and proceeds to dial 9-1-1, addressing Johnny again once he's done with the call. "And you're not only going down for domestic abuse, but also for assaulting a federal agent." He pulls out his badge and smiles as he shows it to Johnny.

"Good luck getting out of that one," Kensi says gladly. With the husband taken care of, she goes back to Cindy and hugs her softly. The distraught woman sinks into her arms and finally lets all her anguish out. Kensi runs her hand over her back and lets her sob.

The next hour is a flurry of activity as LAPD shows up to arrest the husband and take Deeks, Kensi and Cindy's statements. A few cops who know Deeks joke about him missing them so much he had to get involved in their call, others snicker about NCIS clearly having no grooming policy if he still looks like that, and the lucky few who actually know him and his past walk quietly to him and squeeze his shoulder in understanding before texting him later that night offering their support.

Then Johnny is taken into custody, and they try to help Cindy clean out the mess in her house. She refuses for the night but accepts their help the following day and takes the business cards they offer.

It's past dinnertime when Kensi drapes one arm across Deeks' shoulder and they make their way back. They stay silent as they walk across their front yard, eyes locked down as they try to ignore the abundance of neighbors that came out of their homes to check out what was happening outside.

Once inside, Deeks sits down on the couch and leans forward, resting his head in his hands. While Kensi goes to the freezer, coming back a moment later with a frozen bag of carrots. "Thank you," Deeks whispers when she carefully pushes him back against the cushions and sets the bag over the bruised side of his mouth.

They sit like that for a bit, the icy cold soothing but not as much as the featherlike touch of her fingers running through his hair. "I'm sorry we have to move again. I really didn't mean for this to happen." Deeks lets out a sigh and tips his head back to look at her face.

"I know," Kensi says in an exhale, tugging his hair away from his forehead so she can press a kiss there. "This wasn't your fault, Deeks."

"It kinda was." He smiles sheepishly and tucks himself closer against her side.

"Maybe. But we did the right thing. You know I don't like to see you hurting, physically or otherwise, but I'll never fault you for putting yourself in harm's way to help others. It's one of the things I love the most about you." Kensi says genuinely, before adding with a smirk, "Besides, you will make it up to me."

"Is that so?" Deeks raises an eyebrow in question and teasingly pokes her side.

Kensi nods and grabs her laptop from the coffee table, pulling up Zillow before she sets it over Deeks' outstretched legs.

Deeks groans but starts searching anyway. "I promise, from now on, I'll be more careful so we can stay put for a while. And who knows, maybe our new neighbors will be a little more peaceful."

"Ha! The only chance of that happening is us moving into the countryside where we wouldn't have neighbors for a few miles," Kensi mutters, rolling her eyes, knowing that trouble seems to find them no matter where they go.

"Who's moving into the countryside?" Rosa asks, alarmed, as she pushes open the door, followed by a nonchalant Roberta, who's sipping what looks suspiciously like a Margarita.

Deeks can only groan again at the sight, realizing Kensi is not the only woman in his life he will have to make it up to. But as she grabs his hand and squeezes once, he remembers they're a team and he doesn't have to face any challenge alone, be it arresting one's neighbor for domestic violence or having to move to a new place because of it.

[ncisfranchise-source]

Members of NCIS’ D.C., Hawai’i, Los Angeles and New Orleans bureaus have joined forces for a good cause (and the crossover photo of your dreams).

Past and present stars of the popular CBS franchise united Wednesday on the SAG-AFTRA picket line. The group selfie, snapped and shared by NCIS: Los Angeles’ Daniela Ruah (aka Special Agent Kensi Blye), also features NCIS’ Brian Dietzen (Dr. Jimmy Palmer), NCIS: Hawai’i’s Vanessa Lachey (Special Agent-in-Charge Jane Tennant) and Kian Talan (Alex Tennant), and NCIS: New Orleans’ Scott Bakula (Supervisory Special Agent Dwayne Cassius Pride) and CCH Pounder (medical examiner Loretta Wade).

“Today was strong and necessary,” Ruah wrote on Instagram. “To all the @iatse & @dga members and supporters of @wgastrikeunite & @sagaftra I am so grateful to have walked alongside all of you today. Saw so many people I have loved for over 14 years coming together again in strength.”

NCIS: Los Angeles wrapped its 14-season run in May, while New Orleans went off the air in 2021, after seven seasons. Of note: L.A. vet LL Cool J is set to guest-star during NCIS: Hawai’i Season 3 as Special Agent Sam Hanna, and former castmate Ruah told TVLine’s Inside Line that she is open to similarly reprising her role as Kensi someday, somewhere.

CBS in January staged the first three-way crossover between NCIS, NCIS: Hawai’i and NCIS: Los Angeles. Prior to that, there had been assorted two-show crossovers between the mothership and its myriad spinoffs.

[veneredirose]

HEY EVERYONE

i’m finally doing the review of NCIS: Los Angeles

this is one of the comfort series that I watch and that feels like i’m a part of the family. the first time i watched it I was a little girl, recently I wanted to watch it again because I wanted to understand better the events and connect the dots. so here’s the review!

possible spoilers of NCIS: Los Angeles

the plot is one of my favorite, all the investigations are solved by a two persons-team formed by Special Agent G. Callen and Special Agent Sam Hanna, an ex navy-seal. The other team is formed, for the first season, by Special Agent Kensi Blye and Dominic Vail, a young operative agent who is killed in action during the first season, leaving Kensi Blye without a teammate and full of feelings of guilt. the spot is taken, in season 2, by Detective Marty Deeks, who make a liaison between LAPD and NCIS. He holds this position until departmental reforms in season 12 end up terminating it, after which he completes FLETC training and officially joins NCIS as an Investigator. Henrietta Lange is the leader of this office. In OSP, the team is completed by Operational Psychologist Nate Getz, and Technical Operator Eric Beale. Nate is assigned, after season 1, to different operations by Hetty, and returns only for occasional guest appearances. During the second season, Intelligent Analyst Nelly Jones joins the team, and forms an amazing team with Eric, until eventually the two of them become closer. during the remaining seasons a lot of people appears in the series, like Assistant Director Owen Granger, assigned to the team as oversight whit Hetty, who dies in season 8 after discovering he was ill with cancer (it coincide with real-life battle of the actor, Miguel Ferrer, who was ill with cancer and died). In season 9 Hetty goes to Vietnam on a personal mission, and her place is taken by Executive Assistant Director Pacific Shay Mosley, who is basically in search for revenge and almost get the entire team killed during a non-authorized operation. Later she sends the team and her trusted assistant, Special Agent Harley Hidoko, to Mexico, to rescue her son from her criminal ex-husband. the operation ends well, but her assistant remains killed during the op. The OSP is put under investigation and, at the beginning of the tenth season, Shay Mosley resigns. During season 11/12 Nell and Eric depart for the private sector, so the OSP recruited two rookies: Agents Fatima Namazi and Agent Devin Roundtree. Hetty leaves again so Admiral Hollace Killbride is assigned as Director of Special Operations in season 13. The series ends with Callen married to Anna, Kensi married to Deeks and finally pregnant, and Callen and Sam taking a side project mission to find and rescue Hetty, supported by a new team, including old teammates Nelly and Nate.

During the series:

Callen wants to figure out who his family was, because he grew up in foster homes. At some point he finds his father and his half sister, but their relationship is difficult.

Sam has to deal with the death of his wife, killed during a joined operation with CIA, leaving him with two children and a sense of guilt that never goes away.

Kensi and Deeks decide to adopt a girl from Mexico, and later they find out that Kensi is pregnant.

Hetty faces the difficulties of a life spent undercover.

In my opinion this series is one of the most tricky and challenging series i’ve ever watched. you want to watch episode after episode to discover what is going on. i literally devoured it, i liked it a lot. it’s worth the time you spend to watch it.

thank you so much for reading this review, i hope you like it and i hope you liked this series as i did!

SEE YA :)

[oneforthemunny]

An emotional thought, but what about Nepo Baby and Eddie accidentally missing an important event. Usually they’re on top of it, making sure they get to everything they can for the girls. But today was falling apart, from Seph ripping her jeans, Kensie getting in a fight with Sienna, Sicily accidentally running out of gas on the side of the road and Vega coloring on her walls, Eddie and Nepo are on their last straw. When they sit down to eat, Seph comes in and asks why they’re at dinner and they’re confused. With her chronic older sister syndrome, she tells them they forgot about Zarah’s science fair.

They run as fast as they can to the school, but a teacher cleaning up says she did excellent and she won first place. The teacher has to also has to give her the printed photos of her acceptance and, sadly, gives her the parent-student copy that has her with her best friend and their parents in it. The teacher says she was very nonchalant and said it’s okay and that her sisters probably had something, that it’s not a surprise and is getting dinner with their family.

They go to the car, feeling so bad that the one time Zarah wanted them there, they weren’t. Not only did she win and they didn’t get to see or support her, she said she wasn’t surprised. It’s hurts even more knowing that she didn’t mean it maliciously, she is just so easy going.

Zarah gets home and they’re immediately apologizing, but she’s so understanding, saying it’s okay. As much as the other girls lashing outs drive them crazy, this is one time they wish Zarah would just scream in their face. They make sure to take her on a special trip with just her, doing whatever she’d like to do and also have her redo her award winning project for the family.

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

fine. you started this non, but I'm going to make it worse. hope you guys like SOBBING!

so it wasn't a science fair, it's a recital. a musical, talent show type recital. she'd been practicing with eddie for weeks, he'd been showing her how to play the guitar, then she'd go practice in private. she wanted the song she performed to be a secret, a surprise.

you had it marked on your calendar for weeks. made sure your assistant knew, your parents, everyone. you were so proud of zarah and so excited.

then came the week from hell.

your assistant got the flu. you and eddie had to balance swapping off the kids, and it was a fucking nightmare.

sienna and kensie decided this would be the week that they went to war with each other about a fucking pair of shoes, and who was the rightful owner.

persephone was in nyc for business for her new brand, sicily ran out of gas on the side of the road and got hounded by paparazzi. you told kensie to drop zarah off, kissing her head and telling her you'd see her later, looking over the fact that she was dressed up and bouncing on her toes. it slipped your mind today was the recital.

eddie didn't come back with sicily until hours later, on edge and fuming. the paps, the tow truck, the type that he told sicily to fucking get gas before she left. you weren't much better. you'd had to break up the fight between kensington and sienna, taking the shoes and throwing them in the trash. while you were dealing with that, vega decided that she needed to unleash her artistic talents on the world... in the form of scribbling all over the walls.

you were near tears, beyond frustrated, tension so high by the time eddie got home. vega wailing loudly in the corner, sicily stomping up stairs, and eddie already reaching for another cigarette at the piercing sound of vega's loud, exaggerated cries.

the phone rang, shrill and cutting through the house. you huffed, halting your scrubbing to glare at eddie. "can you get that?" you grit, glaring at him.

he huffed, looking at the phone on the receiver. "it's your mother." he snapped with an eye roll.

you scrubbed the wall again with the magic eraser sponge, sure your manicure was ruined- you could add that to the list of things you would need to get done. "just ignore it. I'll call her later."

then it rang again. this time, she left a message.

"button, where are you at?" her hushed, nasally tone cut through the machine, background music loud even over the phone. "zarah is about to go on. daddy is with her back stage but she's asking for eddie. please tell me you're almost here. honestly, this is so mortifying."

you gasped, the sound tearing from your lungs. "oh my god." you held your hands over your mouth, heart plummeting while you looked at eddie.

"shit, shit, shit. let's go! now! everybody! down here right now! let's go!" eddie boomed up the stairs, snatching his keys then scrambling to scoop vega up from the chair in the corner. she fought against him, still upset at being put into the dreaded corner, but he ignored her, putting her in her carseat as quickly as he could.

you wrangled the other girls out to the car. "we forgot zarah's recital." you snapped when kensie started to whine about not being dressed. "get in the car now."

they filed in, all equally as quiet- guilty. the car was silent, except for the occasional barking yell from eddie to other cars and vega's whiney sniffles.

you tore into the school like a bat out of hell, eddie's tires screeching when he pulled up to the front of the school, turning on his hazards, before you all bounded up the stairs towards the school's auditorium.

you heard applause as you opened the door, hopeful that zarah was about to go on, that you made it- until you saw your daughter, bowing with the guitar that was all too big for her, scanning the crowd- for you.

your dad stood off the side of the stage, and you could see him hug her in the wings. your heart shattered, a gut punch sickening feeling. he had never been there for anything of yours, late to your graduation, your wedding. yet, they were here when you weren't for your baby- when you forgot. the one thing on earth you swore you'd never do.

eddie looked at you hesitantly, seeing the wobble in your lip before you could even register it. vega was still fussing in kensie's arms, sicily and sienna uncomfortable with the tension.

"take your sister out to the car, alright? just park it and we'll be right there, kens." eddie muttered, pulling you gently down the hall towards backstage.

you pushed yourself through the makeshift dressing room until you saw your father and zarah. "zarah, baby," you called, pushing through the crowds to get to her.

your father's eyes cut to you, cold and unimpressed, but that was nothing compared to the sorrowful, rounded brown eyes of your eleven year old shining at you in defeat. you were sure you were going to be sick now.

"zarah, I am so sorry. we tried to get here and-and it-"

"it's alright." zarah nodded gently, sweetly, like she wanted to comfort you. your heart tore.

"no, it's not. it's not alright, and I am so sorry, baby." you sucked in a deep breath to keep yourself from crying. "did mom record it?" you asked, looking up at your father hopefully.

"no," he seethed coldly, stern and stone glare like he couldn't believe you'd done this, hypocritical at best, but it didn't make you feel any worse. "she though you both would be here."

eddie's fist balled, turning away to compose himself. he hated victor, wanted to scream at him that he had no fucking room to talk, break his jaw for making you feel bad. he was angry, angry at himself for missing this. they'd practiced for weeks, talked about it for weeks. she'd been so excited to surprise the two of you and now... you missed it.

"but-but the school records it, right?" you asked hopefully. "ed, go see if you can ask one of the teacher's if we could get a copy, please. we'll watch it all together, and-and you can perform it for all of us, and-"

"it's ok." zarah mumbled sadly. "there's another one in a few weeks and...maybe you could be at that one and see me?"

you felt your face crumble at the question, the final straw after this entire shit show of a day. your sweet baby, zarah, was already so quiet so calm, shadowed by the loud personalities of her sisters. you and eddie held a fair amount of fear that she would feel overlooked, that any of your girls would feel like you didn't have time for them- like your parents made you feel. you'd been so tedious about making sure you attended everything, spent time with them, equally. all that work was gone now, blown up in your face after one bad day.

eddie placed a hand on your shoulder, soothing and calming, while he crouched in front of zarah. "zar, we'll be there, baby. I'll camp out int he auditorium the night before to get front row seats for you." his chest loosened a little at her lips pulling in the corners, the faintest smile. "we're sorry, zarah. we didn't mean to miss it."

"I know." zarah nodded calmly, understandingly. somehow this wss worse.

you'd kill for her to screech and cry like kensie or vega, to call you the worst mother like sephy, or be furious enough to give the silent treatment like the twins. this was worse somehow, made you feel guiltier and guiltier.

you hugged her close to your chest, muttering apologies into her soft hair, more of a comfort to yourself than anyone else.

your parents glared at you, judging glares at the dinner, while they raved about how great zarah was- how they were there to see it.

eddie watched how you shrunk down, so consumed by guilt, by your own shortcomings and trauma. the girls saw it too, guilty that they'd caused it, that they took away from their sister with their own stupid things. zarah's sad little eyes, even though she tried to brush it off. like she was used to it.

it made eddie's stomach churn.

"excuse me," eddie grumbled, pushing back from the table. "I'll be right back."

you didn't acknowledge it, listening to the praises your parents poured out to zarah, trying not to flinch at every hurled backhanded insult towards you.

eddie stood outside, phone pressed to his ear, finsihing a cigarette. "you name your price, I'll pay it alright." he said easily into the phone. "I don't care. whatever they want. I'll call my manager as soon as I get off with you and I'll have it sent, cashed, a check, whatever."

he came back, seeing your parents still chatting and bragging. "oh, we should take you out for something special, zar. a real treat. you deserve it." the sneer on your mother's face made you feel sick.

"actually. I have a surprise for us." eddie snapped. "if you're up for it, zar."

she nodded softly, eddie's dimpled grin spreading over his cheeks. "great. let's go." he grabbed vega out of her highchair.

"where are we going, ed?" you whispered, eyes cutting to the girls behind you.

"I got it handled." eddie nodded.

"what? got what handled-"

"I've got it handled." eddie nodded, pulling the door open to let the girls file in.

"edward," your mother chirped. "what on earth are you doing?"

"tana, victor, I can't thank you enough for everything today. it means so much. the girls are lucky to have you." eddie said smoothly. "I mean, I'm sure you know how busy things can get as parents. how hard it is to keep up with everything all the time."

tana scoffed. your eyes narrowed. "I hardly think-"

"mom, you didn't even show up to my graduation." you snapped, in a low voice that made her eyes bulge. "and while I do appreciate you being here for zarah, you have no room to judge anyone."

tana blubbered while victor gave you a disapproving look. eddie smirked at you lightly, shutting the car door. "thanks again!" he waved, tearing out of the parking lot.

you were shocked when eddie pulled back into the school, turning to look at your girls. "did you forget something?" you mumbled to him.

"nope." eddie said cooly. "get your stuff. sicily help zarah get her guitar."

"dad, what are we doing?" kensie asked, brows furrowed in confusion at eddie.

the headmaster opened the door, waving at eddie politely. "baby, can you get the girls?" eddie turned to you. "'m gonna help zar tune up."

your face flashed in confusion before softening. "eddie, are you serious?" you muttered. "how did you-"

"martin's got it." eddie nodded cooly. "they don't mind. I promise, but they were nice enough to come back, so ya know. don't take forever." he grinned, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"c'mon, zar-zar," eddie held the small guitar case, hand extending for her to take, walking up the stairs.

you weren't sure how eddie managed to do this. how he got the number of the headmaster and convinced him to let you back into the school, set up again so you could see the show. you assumed the addition built on to the library months later was probably a result of it, but it didn't matter.

spotlight on, sound and lighting, and even the headmaster introducing zarah like before- as if she wasn't the only one there.

you sat on the third row, wanting to see her as best you could.

"next, we have zarah munson performing 'slipping through my fingers' a rendition done on the acoustic guitar." the headmaster bowed out, and you all clapped loudly from your seats when she walked across the stage.

she blushed, giving that sweet, shy smile you always cooed at when she sat at her bench. the piano started and she started strumming the guitar, the harmony to the song.

you felt the tears fall, too overwhelmed to wipe them. zarah chose to sing abba's slipping through my fingers, a good song, yes; but it was the song you always sang to her. when she was a baby, a toddler, when she had nightmares, or just when you felt like humming it. especially after her mama mia! obsession, you switched from abba to meryl streep's version, but it was your song for zarah.

she bowed, and the clapping and screaming from the seven of you in the theater rivaled the full audience from before. loud and cheering, whooping while zarah beamed, a warm light coming back to her.

you still felt horrible, guilty, even after the entire thing. the next recital, eddie was true to his fucking word. he was there at eight am. dropped the girls off and sat front row with the crew while they set up.

[densi-mber]

Shall We Dance?

***

“Our suspect has a ballroom dance class tonight. I think that would be a fine time to plan a little encounter,” Hetty said, pausing a beat before turning to face the entire team spread around OPS. “Any takers?”

“I volunteer Kensi and Deeks,” Callen said before anyone else could speak up.

“What kind of ballroom dance?” Deeks asked.

“Uh, they’re currently focusing on the Tango,” Nell answered after consulting her tablet.

Deeks considered the information; it was far from the worst cover ever, even if he’d never danced the Paso Doble in his life. If Eric and Nell could get them into the class, he’d manage.

“I think it’s an excellent idea,” Hetty disagreed. “Miss Blye, Mr. Deeks, please prepare appropriately and plan to be at that class tonight.” With a definitive nod, she walked out.

“Well, this should be good,” Sam commented with a half grin.

“She can’t be serious,” Kensi said. “I am not dancing the Tango with Deeks.”

“Wow, that’s not hurtful, or anything.”

“Who else is going to do it?”

“What about Eric and Nell?”

“I would, but tap dance is more my style.” Eric shrugged apologetically.

As they headed downstairs, Deeks nudged Kensi’s shoulder. “Hey, are you telling me the great Special Agent Blye can’t fake her way through a dance class?”

“Oh.” Kensi huffed, clearly offended. “I can fake it, I’m worried about you. Do you even know Tango steps?”

“I’ve seen “Shall We Dance?”,” Deeks answered glibly.

“Oh my god,” she groaned.

“Come on, you guys had dancing lessons from Hetty a while ago,” Sam reminded them.

“Yes, one lesson. And it was interrupted.”

Deeks tilted his head, confused why Kensi was putting up such a huge fight. He’d understand it if she was outright mocking him, but this seemed different. He noted her crossed arms, her tense spine, and suddenly it struck him: she was nervous.

Hiding this new revelation, Deeks walked to the center of the bullpen, conscious of the others watching with varying levels of interest. He held out his hand invitingly.

“Ok, if you’re so worried about it, let’s practice right now,” he offered.

Kensi tried to laugh it off, looking to Nell, and then Sam for support. Nell just regarded her with an intrigued smile and Sam sighed,

“Just do it and get it over with.”

Reluctantly, Kensi joined him in the middle of room, hesitantly taking his left hand. Her hand slightly clammy in his, and she drew in a couple shallow breaths before settling her other hand on his shoulder in the proper dance hold.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he whispered. If it made her this uncomfortable, he wouldn’t force it.

Kensi tensed, but this time with indignation. “I’m fine,” she hissed back, settling her hand more firmly on his shoulder and leaning into him. Following her cue, he placed his hand on her back, suddenly feeling a little nervous himself.

He’d had exactly three Latin dance lessons in college, but he remembered enough of the basics to get by. Their first few steps were stilted and uncoordinated. After a few more cycles, they found a rhythm.

Leaning into her natural dancing abilities, Kensi followed his lead perfectly, playing into the push and pull, sliding her leg between his feet. He caught her eye and she grinned at him, her earlier anxiousness completely gone.

On the next revolution, he dipped Kensi back, one hand finding a place just below her hip as he supported her in mid-air. Her eyes met his again, the air charged around them, bodies pressed together.

Clearing his throat, Deeks abruptly lifted her back up, suddenly overheated and painfully aware of the silence.

“Ok,” Nell said. “That was…interesting.”

“Would you two like a minute?” Sam asked, a hint of warning and question under the joke.

Kensi hastily stepped away, brushing her hair back from her face. “No, we’re good.”

“Fantastic,” Deeks agreed.

“But we should probably practice a little more. You know, just so we’re ready for tonight.”

More practice might kill, but he nodded along, following Kensi as she made awkward gestures in the general direction of the gym.

It was perfectly normal to feel this way about your partner. Completely normal.

[khorren]

The Elder Dragon Saga was very much a Fae family - human - story, with supporting characters here and there. It took me the whole development of the saga (pretty much) to shape the story. Kensi and Ruby keeping the bloodline going in preparation for some major cataclysmic event, and the lines of all the Faes from the days of the Flameseeker Prophecies played their parts. I've been writing my own little version of GW2 Tyria since the game was announced, so it's been festering in my head for a long-ass time :)

In hindsight I should maybe not confused things with Cosima, and just let OG commander ride off into the sunset (whether season 4 or end of EoD), but oh well. Love my little Cos <3. Still, she's still "The Commander" and pushing whatever main storylines along. Despite ANet not pulling in Dragon's Watch, I'm still pulling in my guild of characters into the story.

Cosima reaches out to Aoife after the initial SotO adventures and wants to bring some of the guild into the mix. The Ulvstrom family have been a mix of doing their own thing and popping into the main story, or just off doing their own thing, and it's time to bring them in for a bigger cause. They're all chasing their own legends of course, but will come back to family stuff as needed. Between the Wizard's Tower and Amnytas there's just so much there that could be useful to them about, well, everything. An Ulvstrom is sent to each Bastion with some supporting cast helping out in other places.

[janicefinnerin]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Kensie Women's Size 7 Jipsy Black Adjustable FIt Sandals NWB.

[mixellr]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: KENSIE leggings bra set.