#supernatural character analysis

[nightwingsfleas]

I’m making a Dean Winchester character analyst because I saw a tiktok comment talking about how Dean has been given the more “female” in media by being Sam’s parental figure and also how sexualized he is in both the series and also fandom so I’m wondering if anyone has heard of it because I would very much appreciate a link to it because it interest me and I wanna watch it.



[foolondahill17]

The flashback episodes make a lot more sense when you read them as altered through the lense of whoever's memory we're in.

1.18 Something Wicked is obviously from Dean's pov. It's shrouded in shame and guilt, which is why we see Dean doing things that don't make sense. I.e. throwing out the spaghettios. I just don't buy that Dean, even that young, even in the heat of anger, would throw out perfectly good food when the only alternative is to go hungry. But I think his memory of the entire night has been altered by his guilt for "allowing" Sammy to be put into danger because of his own distraction. It's all be rewritten into one big glaring "You messed up. You did x, y, z wrong. Dad was right to disdain you."

3.8 Very Supernatural Christmas, is from Sam's memory. It's been distorted by his feelings of alienation and being completely blindsided and learning the truth about his dad. Do I think Dean actually yelled in Sam's face to "never talk about mom"? Not really. I think Dean probably got irritated and snapped, but I don't think it was a big explosion. But Sam's memory is blanketed in the overall feeling of always being in the dark, of being constantly lied to and berated for his questions, so he reads Dean's reactions as harsher than they might have been in reality.

4.13 After School Special, another one from Sam's pov. It's pretty clear that Sam views Dean's teenage years as rife with delinquency and womanizing, which is why I think this episode is so discordant when it comes to Dean's characterization. Would Dean be a total asshole to a teacher on his first day when it's been hammered into his head by John not to draw attention to himself? I don't think so. Would he threaten to pull a kid's lungs out because they're tormenting Sammy? Oh...um, yeah. I think he probably would do that actually. Would he cheat on his girlfriend to self-sabatoge when they were becoming too emotionally intimate and he knew they'd eventually have to separate, anyway, and he'd rather be a jerk than face the hurt of perceived abandonment? Um...actually that one rings true, too. But I don't think he would be so brash about it, if that makes sense? Like I don't think he would have risked a big blowup confrontation in the middle of school. Mostly, however, the one that doesn't sit right with me is being pointedly and intentionally abrasive to authority when he knows he and Sam are a 17 and 14 year old living alone, and any misstep could have serious consequences for his family. Yeah, he's keeping his head down in the classroom.

7.03 the Girl Next Door, also from Sam's pov. I don't have much to say about this one, except for the fact that, seen through Sam's rosy lenses of bygone Romeo-and-Juliet-esque innocence, is makes Dean's eventual actions toward Amy that much more horrifying. I'm definitely not saying Dean was justified for killing Amy, but I am saying that if the episode wasn't colored by Sam's rose-colored glasses, then Dean's perspective would be clearer: Amy was a girl Sam had seen two or three times at the library, flirted with once, shared a single kiss with when he was 15, and hadn't seen for over a decade. I wouldn't have trusted her, either.

9.07 Bad Boys, even though this one is pointedly from Dean's pov, I do think it is the more accurate of all the flashback episodes. This is half because Dylan is the most convincing young!Dean actor, who brings the same nuance to the character as Jensen does, but also because it doesn't shy away from the cringiness of Dean's teenagehood like in After School Special. In After School Speciel, Dean is way too suave and sure of himself. Yeah, we know from context clues, it's mostly bravado, but I think Sam's memory inlays another layer of "coolness" to his older brother that we don't see in Dean's more stripped, honest memory of himself as a teenager in Bad Boys. His first kiss is downright embarrassing (as all first kisses are). The dorky awkwardness of that interaction is the kind of thing most people gloss over in their memories, but the fact that the episode doesn't hints to its authenticity.

15.16 Drag Me Away sucks ass honestly. It seems to skew marginally toward Dean's pov, but the only meaningful moment is Dean finding the pile of dead children and admitting to having nightmares about it for years afterward. Other than that, it's pretty hard to reconcile the caretaker Dean we know with Dean telling his 11-year-old brother he's too stupid for college. Idk, maybe I could read harder into it, but season 15 was super bland and uneven when it comes to characterization for everyone, and I just kinda ignore it.

2 disclaimers: I don't think any of the writers of these episodes intentionally distorted characterization according to whose memory we were in. I just like to fill the plot holes bad writing leaves behind with tiny pebbles and shiny things because I'm a crow.

Also, yeah, this is Dean!centric because almost everything in my life is Dean!centric.

[bitchface24-7]

I love the dichotomy between Sam and Dean where they see each other in opposite lights. (lowkey a character analysis below)

We’ve seen how Dean views himself. He thinks he’s worthless, weak, stupid, and unloveable. He “hates what he sees in the mirror.”

Sam thinks Dean is amazing. He’s a phenomenal hunter and an even better brother. He stepped up to take care of him when dad fucked off. Dean took care of Sammy in ways most people would never understand. Dean is strong, kind, funny, witty, and undeniably gorgeous. Sam loves Dean with all his heart. No one will ever replace him. No one. Sam cannot live without Dean. If Dean leaves him, he’ll just be surviving.

Sam on the other hand thinks he’s a weirdo, a freak, an abomination. Something to put out of its misery since how could something so disgusting be alive in this world?

Dean thinks Sammy is brilliant. A keen eye and a knack for researching into unknown lore the brothers didn’t even know existed. He’s snarky, snooty, sarcastic, and sweet. Sammy knows the power of both his bitch stare and puppy-dog eyes. Sammy must know he has Dean wrapped around his pinky finger? There isn’t a goddamn thing in this world that tops Sam in Dean’s eyes. Sam is perfect. He’s both beautiful on the inside and out. Sammy is Dean’s priority, his main focus, his baby brother. Eventually it just switches to “mine. mine. mine.” in Deans head. Dean cannot live without Sammy, he’ll k*ll himself before he lives in a world without his baby brother.

Like??? HELLO?!?! I love them so much it isn’t even funny

[destiel-wings]

just thinking about how in early seasons dean knew he was good looking and bragged about it but in later seasons he probably wouldn't believe it if someone told him he was handsome and how that may be because it's post hell and he didn't see beauty in himself anymore

[soullessjack]

i know ive vaguely mentioned that jack is putting on his own kind of personality-performance in the same way Dean is but something else I microwave in my head a lot is how he specifically plays it up with cas and performs in a similar way. they’re like two bodysnatchers pretending they’re humans and performing traditions that they think will help them blend in (like Cas calling Jack ‘slugger’ in the tombstone script draft)

I think another aspect of Jacks character that is often forgotten is that he also isn’t entirely human, and that coupled with the general infantilization he gets from the fandom means nobody is really looking very deeply into his behavior or recognizing it as a performance—specifically one that’s rooted in his need to be seen as acceptable and “Good,” and contributes so much to the sensitivity and defensiveness he’s shown to have towards his perceived place in TFW and the Winchester family.

everyone thinks it’s cute and charming that he wanted to match ties with Cas and supposedly has a talking teddy bear toy in 15x11 (the both of which can be seen as part of traditional nuclear family roles just like Cas calling him ‘slugger,’) but when that same episode ends with jack ruefully admitting to cas that he’s going to kill himself as part of Billie’s plan and as a way to atone for the damage he caused, you really have to question the sincerity of his behavior—especially since it’s not even the first time he’s used cutesy charming behavior to essentially manage everyone’s mood and emotions to keep being perceived the way he wants to be perceived at the face value he’s created for himself (unabashedly lying to Sam and Dean about anything happening while he was out with a big smile and an “I promise,” in 14x16, and doing the same thing to Mary in the beginning of 14x17).

another thing is that if jack does feel like he can be himself and also be accepted or even praised for it, like he was in apocalypse world with Mary and the refugees that saw him as a hero, he gets immediately defensive whenever something about his [genuine] self or his capability is questioned; he gets upset at Mary for not thinking that he can beat Michael alone and blows up at Cas for thinking he’s too weak to do anything by himself as a human being, and in both of these instances he switches tones a lot between a very deadpan and blunt when he’s essentially unmasking, vs a soft one when he’s trying to be reassuring and acceptable.

it adds a lot to his identity crisis in the beginning of s14 and especially to his soulless arc, when he’s basically desperate to get back into the traditional Good Son role he’s gotten even though his own subconscious outright mocks him for it and calls him pathetic for even wanting to be that person again

*which jack also becomes increasingly defensive and blatantly aggressive about.

im losing the plot because of my stomach hurting so TLDR jack is basically a bodysnatchers playing house the same way Castiel is amen godbless peace be with you all

[athena-xiii]

So I’m rewatching supernatural and the way Dean just shuts down around his dad will never fail to fuck me up.

Dean is the kinda guy who you’d assume has the fight drama response. He’s loud, impulsive, cocky, and brash. He is not any of those things around John. His trauma response is fawn. I know because it’s mine too. Conforming to what someone wants to keep them happy.

You bend yourself any way they ask until you break. Sometimes you’re never able to find your way back to your original shape. Sometimes you’ve been doing since such a young age that there wasn’t time for you to be your own shape before you were moulded.

Dean Winchester was parentified in a way that is usually seen most in eldest daughters. Which is why he resonates with me so much.

God I hate this show it makes me feel so many things

[deanscutiepiesam]

I can't stop thinking about that one post about how Lucifer should've been played by Jared when projecting the image of himself [this post, go read it. It's so good]. And I completely agree with them across the board. Sam, being his true vessel and the horrific impact it would have on him, would've been amazing to see explored. But I also think Lucifer should've been played by Jared because he was better for the character.

And I don't just mean this in an acting way, (though, I am biased. Jared has skills), but for the sake of the story and his likability. Obviously, we aren't supposed to like Lucifer, I don't, but I did like how he was written when Jared played him. Think of Endverse!Lucifer in his white suit. Telling Dean how no matter what, he'll always end up here. Think of Swan Song, where he was pleading with Michael. How Lucifer didn't want to hurt his brother, but he "left him no choice." He's almost oddly sympathetic, but then you have to remember he's literally trying to start the Apocalypse. He's manipulative. He's the devil. We've gotten accustomed to Jared's face being Sam, all soft and sweet, so that image being juxtaposed with evil incarnate is so powerful. Wolf in sheep's clothing and all that. Gives you chills.

Now compare that with Nick's Lucifer or even Casifer. Not even close (in my opinion, at least). I was talking to a friend of mine about this a while ago, but those versions of Lucifer don't even feel like the same guy. He went from an intimidating, genuinely scary, and interesting character to a "I'm so silly" comedian - and a weak one at that. And I know this was unfortunately because the show went the route of making Sam's cage trauma a joke, but why, though?? There was so much potential for Jared to play him, and even going the Nick vessel route, they could've written him not... like that.

And this isn't to say Lucifer can't crack jokes. I think, executed well, it could be funny and add to the horror. Supernatural has done funny bad guys before (like I personally enjoy Azazel's and Crowley's quips), and it works for them. But Lucifer just feels like a failed version of that. It doesn't fit his character, personally. And I know some people enjoy Nick's Lucifer and Casifer, and that's valid, but it just doesn't sit right with me. He loses aura points, and I don't enjoy watching him.

And once again, I know we aren't supposed to like him, but it's not even a dislike because he's a good villain; he's just annoying. He comes on screen, and I'm not scared or anxious, I'm annoyed. And it's frustrating because they did so well with him in my Jared examples. And not only that, it could've been a foundation for later seasons. (Imagine Sam!Lucifer doing the misunderstood guy facade to get Jack on his side. Like come on, we were robbed.)

Anyways, I don't know... I just had to get that out. Not sure if I made any sense, but I'm gonna trust I'm coherent enough for you to get the gist of it. Shout out to well written Lucifer. You will always be famous. I hope you die — oh, wait...

[calibrationneeded]

"I want to be good. I can't bear the thought of my soul being hideous."

Oscar Wilde

[lupinescribbler]

Been thinking recently about this oddly specific trope of a character being emotionally vulnerable or honest in order to be able to connect with a kid they empathize with. I have slightly mixed feelings about it. On one hand it can be overdone, to where the child feels like a cardboard cutout just to elaborate on the protagonist’s traumatic backstory, but there are also a lot of cases that I liked it or thought it was done in an impactful way.

so I figured I’d walk through a handful of examples of this trope (does it have a name???) and give my personal thoughts on each. Spoilers for the episodes referenced of course. Because of image limit this will be part 1 of 2 and I’ll link the second when I get it up.

Supernatural S01E03.

This is one of my favorite iterations of this. Lucas's turmoil, fear, and mutism were portrayed with enough effort and thoughtfulness for him not to just feel like a cardboard cutout, and the way Dean interacted with him felt in-character while still showing a softer side to him. There's also a strong plot reason (Lucas being the only eye-witness) to drive their interactions, making each scene feel like it was striving for an important purpose instead of just ham-fisting 'traumatic backstory' angst.

The scene in the park is what really starts it off. The guy who couldn't name three children he knew a couple scenes earlier, has to try to coax answers out of a traumatized mute kid about said trauma. We see Dean meeting Lucas where he is (draws with him), tries to identify what Lucas might be feeling, ("Well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you.") reassures ("I want you to know that I will.") and doesn't push it when Lucas seems unforthcoming.

While this scene overall is very soft and endearing, we get very little of Dean talking explicitly about his own trauma, just one vague line "When I was your age, I saw something." The whole scene is about what Lucas is feeling. Dean's feelings are there too, the audience is already supposed to be drawing parallels, but they are kept on the peripheral.

Then later in the episode we get the next Lucas and Dean scene. We've watched someone else die, upping the stakes. Here is where we really get the emotional vulnerability from Dean in a few blunt, heartbreaking, lines. Even more than that, we get a glimpse at Dean's why. Why the bravado, why he is the way he is. We also have this whole confession observed by Dean's younger brother, which -- trust me as an older sibling -- is excruciating.

Overall I think this works because a) Dean has a strong reason to be this emotionally vulnerable, there are literally lives resting on his ability to get through to Lucas. b) it had the space to be built up in multiple scenes throughout an entire episode and c) Dean is the exact type of character that needs some sort of push to be this emotionally vulnerable and earnest, so the trope just fits.

Magnum PI S01E01

This one is what I'd consider a slightly meh version of the trope. Not trying to offend anyone who found this scene specifically meaningful, but it fell flat to me. The intro joking about the dogs was good, Magnum trying to comfort his dead friend’s son was a good idea, but the “when I was your age, I lost my dad too” kinda lost me. I get he was trying to empathize with the kid, but it ended up feeling like the show was just trying to be like “look! He has a dead dad!”. Additionally the character of this kid felt flat and I don’t remember if he ever even cropped back up in the story outside of this episode or ever had a shred of personality.

In my opinion it might have worked better if they’d had Magnum talk about Nuzo instead of his father. Nuzo is the person both he and the kid cared about and lost, and while it still might have felt cheesy I think it would have felt more anchored to what the rest of the episode is about and helped to get the audience to empathize even more with the grief over a dead friend that drove the whole narrative for the pilot.

I really enjoyed the show overall, don’t get me wrong, and I’ll have another example of this trope in part two of this which — spoilers — I enjoyed a lot.

Would love to hear other people’s opinions of this if anyone sees it, and I invite disagreement.

[hexedwinchester]

The Pain is Different

Y'all know me, at this point, I should probably be running for the President of the "Club Hurt Sam Winchester" (does this exist?).. Other Jared Characters' hurt is just seem like an extension of that club.

It occurred to me Jared's portrayal of physical pain is quite different across different characters played by him. Of course, it wouldn't be right to compare one character's pain to the other because the methods of inflicting pain and the suffering that follows will be like comparing apples to oranges. So for the sake of this post, I have only used gifs that show humans as the torturer and with mostly similar methods or methods that are likely to cause similar level of pain on a pain scale (is there a scale?):

Sam Winchester, Supernatural: Out of all the characters played by Jared, Sam is the one who suffered the most and should have the highest tolerance/threshold against pain. He was tortured by the Devil in the cage, in Hell so it doesn't take a genius to guess all the creative ways he must have suffered. Sam's pain is raw and goes deeper than the physical plane of pain itself. When you look at Sam during these moments, his pain comes from within because there is always a display of emotional turmoil along with physical torment. I guess, this is why seeing Sam in pain feels like a knife twisting in your heart. To keep the comparison fair with the other characters, the GIF used is the one where Cole Trenton tortures him to get intel on Dean. The method is what one might use in an advanced interrogation technique but you can clearly see that emotional hurt and anger flashing through his face despite all of John's training. Sam suffers with his heart on his sleeve.

Cordell Walker, Walker: Cordell's pain outlet is purely physical. I guess, this mostly comes from him being professionally trained to handle such situations. He is trained to turn off the emotional unrest which is why there is a stark difference in the way Cordell responds to the torture versus how his brother Liam does at the start of season 3. Cordell has a game face on and there is no room for emotions to give in to his enemies' demands. He goes as far as to mention that they will not succeed in breaking him through physical pain which is why Liam was brought in in the first place. Despite that, we don't see Cordell falling apart because he does not suffer through pain with his emotions on his sleeves like Sam does.

Wade Felton, House of Wax: Again for this one, I had to take the shot where Vincent cuts through his Achilles heel because after that Wade is heavily sedated to be pliant and his response to pain is subdued as a result of the same. Now, Wade's pain is unfiltered because he is simply a kid who unfortunately got caught in the wrong place, at the wrong time and among the wrong people. There is no heroism in his suffering. He is squealing, crying and hurting, crawling away, terrified, scared and begging for mercy. There are no hero shots. He is just another victim and probably gives his tormentor the same satisfaction of being a whimpering mess as others have.

I skipped Friday the 13th because there is not enough opportunity to demonstrate Clay's suffering and none of the other characters played by Jared have suffered so much physical pain. But, among the above three characters, it was fascinating to see how vividly different the response to pain was.

[sky-of-dusk]

The moment Kyouya is shown as not any blader:

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

There's just something so raw and real about the way Jensen plays Dean ESPECIALLY when he's sad like this man can channel years worth of trauma and desperation and eldest daughter syndrome and it hits HARD

[feelingthedisaster]

saw someone say some fans give dean sam's arcs and thinking about it, it does happen and kinda sucks bc 1. just like sam instead and 2. as someone who loves dean, you're removing what makes him dean

i dont want a rebellius dean. i want the dean who no matter if he dislikes an order, he will follow it, bc and order is an order and he is a soldier. he likes to act like a he is some cool rebel but at the end of the day, he'll keep his head down and do as he has been told (and the intro personal conflict "i have to do this even if i dont like it" is top tier)

i dont a want a dean who fights john. i want the dean who shouldnt forgive him but does it anyways bc that's his dad. i want the dean who tries so hard to be a mediator when john and sam fight again and again cause someone has to keep the family together.

i dont want the dean who wants to stop hunting. i want the dean who doesnt have a life outside the life, the man you take away hunting and doesnt know who he is because that's what his life has always been and will be, there was never another option so he doesnt exist without it. he cant stop bc he si nothing outside of hunting (edit: early seasons dean, he gets some character develepment)

i dont want a dean who emphatizes with monster bc he feels like one (thats's literally sam character). yeah, he can feel like a monster in the way "i killed so much people, im a monster" but not in the supernatural monster way. he thinks mostly in black and white about supernatural monster-ish stuff, and yeah, with time and all that sam, benny, etc he learns to tolerate supernaturals but emphatizing on how a supernatural-related freak way? hell no. i want the dean who has to deconstructe himself on monsters for the sake of the people he loves and will fuck up (but try)

want those arcs? sam winchester is right there but dont change dean's. he is already an extremely interesting character on his own

[spn-rewatch-ventzone]

I think something that is lost with Dean over the years is how explicitly he would acknowledge his guilt. It’s been a little jarring to watch how the Dean has changed from being a character that, when pushed to do so, would eventually open up and tell others about his feelings, especially his guilt.

But so far in my rewatch, the Dean of later season is much more emotionally stunted when it comes to expressing emotions and feelings. He is more likely to say he did things because “I had to, there was no other choice” rather than express feeling remorse for doing it. It’s a thin difference, but it completely changes how we see him process his emotions.

Dean has always been a character that holds everything in and carries it against himself. In earlier seasons, we really see him linger and struggle with the emotional weight of singular decisions. But he shares that pain with Sam, albeit after some pushing from Sam’s side. That communication, though, lets Dean grow back stronger and more assured in who he is.

In later seasons, though, he has less moments of open introspection and admissions of pain. When Dean makes mistakes, the narrative has him dig his heels in and not apologize. It was necessary and so there was no other option, so Dean shouldn’t feel remorse for what he does.

Idk if this makes any sense, but I’ve just got big feeling and thoughts about how Dean, as the show progressed, shifted from a character that struggles to open up into a character that is almost incapable of opening up.

[were-wolverine]

okay lemme just-

dick grayson:

- eldest brother

- watched parents die, swore revenge on murderer

- raised as a child soldier from a young age (9 y/o)

- complicated relationship with (adoptive) father, lots of unresolved anger but still defends him

- believes he has a better understanding of his father than his younger brother does (has spent more time around him)

- copes with humor, bottles up emotions, feels he has to ‘be strong’ for his family, doesn’t talk about his own issues

- extremely loyal to those deemed ‘family’

- bi coded

- spent his childhood moving around constantly (traveling circus)

- seen as a playboy/flirty, uses it to get information

- had to raise his little brother / was basically a parent to him

- self-sacrificing as FUCK, total martyr complex

- constantly wears a fake persona and rarely shows his true self to others

dean winchester:

- eldest brother

- watched his mom die, swore revenge on the demon that killed her

- raised as a child soldier from a young age (4 y/o)

- complicated relationship with father, they have unresolved issues but he still defends him

- believes he understands his father better than his younger brother does (has spent more time around him)

- copes with humor, bottles up emotions, feels he has to ‘be strong’ for his family, doesn’t like talking about his own issues

- extremely loyal, values family above all else

- bi coded

- moved around his whole childhood

- seen as a playboy/flirty, uses it to get information

- had to raise his little brother, was more of a parent to him than their dad ever was

- self-sacrificing to a worrying degree, definite martyr complex

- constantly wears a fake persona and rarely shows his true self to others

[soullessjack]

something i was thinking about at work is jacks insecurity about being a burden to the Winchesters + Cas and how much that fits into the autistic lens of his character. obviously it starts with the fact that Sam and Dean were essentially forced into taking care of him at first because of the circumstances surrounding. Literally everything. but it goes beyond that all the way to jack just being what he is and that being inherently dangerous.

for one thing, the bunker (Jack’s only beloved home ever)

initially, the only reason sam and dean agreed to take Jack back to the bunker at all was to safeguard the public from his then-uncontrolled powers, and in last holiday mrs butters also suggests that they’re only keeping him there so he can’t destroy anyone else like he did mary (which jack doesn’t even fight against so.. maybe he’s fine with it being that way?)

then when you come to jacks powers themselves:

they are fundamentally [part of] what makes him different. they’re part of what makes jack dangerous. he can’t have public meltdowns or show extreme anger (or even any frustration, really) without there being consequences — the consequences of someone else getting hurt-or-worse by him, and him being perceived more negatively & fearfully each time it happens. those consequences are just added to the burden jack feels he brings to his family, which breeds guilt and frustration in jack for how he feels he’s affecting them and disappointing their expectations.

this in turn is why jack is so abrasive whenever the guys try to comfort or reassure him. it’s rejection sensitive dysphoria with a little more C4 to it, basically. and speaking from my own experiences, when you’re constantly in a state of low self image or rejection sensitivity, it creates a cycle of eggshell walking and people pleasing—putting all of your focus and energy into managing the feelings of others because you assume the slightest slip-up will make them upset or disappointed or even hate you.

you react to the idea of being rejected before it even happens, and even if it doesn’t happen, because at the core of it all you already perceive yourself in a rejective way.

and that’s exactly what happened between jack and mary after he tortured Nick.

after he’s done, jack turns to mary, ‘flushed with pride’ and grinning about what he did. it was cathartic and sickeningly enjoyable to do. but when he sees the horror on her face as she just says “what did you do?” his pride ‘curdles to shame.’ he’s already sensing rejection for what he’s done, and tries to justify it to mary, and somewhat console her; Nick was a killer who deserved it, and Sam and Dean would’ve been grateful for his death. if Mary thinks something is wrong with him for what he did then she’s the one who’s wrong, actually.

mary (honestly god bless her for still being sympathetic & patient with jack after that) just gently tries to tell him: “something’s wrong. it’s not your fault. you just need help and we’ll help you because you’re family and we love you,” but all jack hears is “something is wrong with you and it scares me. YOU scare me. I’m going to tell the others that something is wrong with you and they’ll be scared of you, too.” **

I don’t think i need to explain in-depth how jack loves his family a very normal and healthy amount, but suffice it to say that he’s established to have a deep fear of, and inability/unwillingness to accept, losing them. he can’t think about it because he hates thinking about it. he’d do anything for them (like self sacrifice or slowly burning a man alive) and to be with them again (like necromancy and unleashing biblical plagues upon nonbelievers).

so when jack perceives that the Winchesters would reject/hate/fear him because of what he did to nick—because there’s something wrong with him—he starts spiraling right there, and he can’t accept that Mary still loves him and wants to help him; he doesn’t even think he can be helped. he can’t deal with any of the rejections he’s perceiving and just wants to be left alone…..

I was going to try and reroute this post back to the whole burden thing, but it’s 3am and I’m losing my train of thought. TLDR i just think it’s very autistic for jacks nature to be narratively framed as both a burden and a threat and also something that just wants to be loved for what it is even though it knows it’s difficult ……. yeagj

**additionally i think he does the same when Rowena refuses to help but I’m getting too sleepy to write that in

Goodnight everypony (<__>)