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hashtagartistlife · 5 years ago

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To take a break from the wdkaly bs (but not from the bl**ch ending salt), I’ve been mulling around-- I wouldn’t even call it a meta, it’s nothing so grand as that-- an idea in my head for a while now, regarding ichigo-masaki, rukia-kaien, and loosely, isshin-masaki, and the point of all three of those relationships with regard to the ichiruki relationship.

I’ve always thought the ichiruki relationship is a miracle of a balancing act, for the simple fact that it’s clearly mirroring ichigo-masaki and rukia-kaien, and yet it managed to never be dictated by those associations. How many ih’ers have made the claim that ichigo-rukia is a mother-son or a mentor-student relationship? With a literal mother-son and mentor-student relationship being their parallels, you might think this claim has some grounds-- and yet, ichiruki are anything BUT mother-son or mentor-student in their dynamic. Kubo has managed to avoid them falling into this trap so beautifully by virtue of two things: one, Ichigo and Rukia don’t consciously, directly associate Masaki and Kaien with one another, and two: yes, ichigo-masaki and rukia-kaien are parallels to the ichiruki relationship, but the whole point of them coming up as a parallel was that this time, things are different, and therefore better.

Bear in mind that the ichigo-rukia similarity to ichigo-masaki and rukia-kaien was obvious to us as third-person omniscient readers, but Ichigo and Rukia themselves don’t consciously look at the other person and think ‘ah, mom’ or ‘ah, Kaien-dono’. Let’s start with the Ichigo-Masaki parallel, which is pretty damn clear cut: it’s directly paralleled with Ichiruki in the chapter Broken Coda. HOWEVER, there is not a single instance in which Ichigo puts Rukia up next to his mom and thinks that they are similar. In fact, in-narrative, their symbols are different: Ichigo describes his mom as the sun, and while we’ve never had in-canon material regarding which celestial body Ichigo thinks Rukia is, word-of-god tells us Rukia is his ray of light, which is much more moon connotations (a ray of light offering hope in the darkness) than it is a sun thing. Sure, he does have his mom flashback moment with regard to Rukia in Broken Coda, where he narrates that he wasn’t able to protect... again, indicating he’s equating this failure to his failure to protect his mom. But note, what he’s equating here is the failure; he’s not equating rukia to his mom directly. It’s made abundantly clear throughout the rest of the manga that Rukia’s significance to him is unique and not due to some random similarity with Masaki. When Orihime is asked, what makes this girl so special? she answers not with ‘she’s like the sun; she draws everyone in; she reminds him of his mother’ but with ‘she changed his world’, an answer that clearly sets her apart from anyone else mentioned in the manga for Ichigo.

Now, Rukia-Kaien. The Rukia-Kaien parallel is a little looser, and a little more extended than the Ichigo-Masaki one. The obvious episodic parallel here is Memories in the Rain (and just to reinforce it, Rukia’s flashback chapters involving Kaien are called… you guessed it, Memories in the Rain 2). But here, if Rukia is reminded of anything by Ichigo’s recklessness, it’s not Kaien himself; it’s Kaien’s recklessness, Kaien’s desire for revenge, and her inability to stop him from going to his destruction that she recalls. Just like with Ichigo, she’s not equating Ichigo to Kaien – she’s equating her helplessness in the first situation to her helplessness in the second.

But MITR alone isn’t the full Rukia-Kaien story parallel; it’s only a parallel to the first part of it, the part where Rukia struggles with her helplessness and indecision. It’s worth noting that Rukia actually does not recall Kaien at all during the first MITR mini-arc; all she flashes back to is Ukitake, giving the speech about fights to protect life and fights to protect pride. The second part of the Kairuki – Ichiruki parallel is the Soul Society arc, where Rukia is fully convinced that Ichigo (Kaien) is about to die (actually died) because of her (because she stabbed him). And yet, note again it’s not Ichigo’s similarity to Kaien that she dwells on, it’s the guilt that she feels for both situations that’s most prominent. And so, Ichigo’s similarity to Kaien, physical or otherwise, is never brought up by her, never even thought of by her, even thought she has obvious reasons to do so. In this way, Kubo cleverly overlays the Kairuki storyline over the Ichiruki storyline but also manages to avoid the major pitfall of Rukia directly equating Ichigo to Kaien: ‘DOES THAT MEAN SHE’S ONLY SEEING ICHIGO AS A REPLACEMENT KAIEN???’ The answer to that is a HELL NO. Rukia has never approached and bonded with Ichigo as anyone BUT pure Ichigo.

The only times Ichigo’s physical resemblance to Kaien has been brought up was through the mouth of other people; Byakuya, Ukitake. And this is yet another clever way Kubo overlaid these parallels; Kairuki doesn’t factor into the purity of the Ichiruki bond, because Rukia hasn’t ever dwelled on it directly, but this is a nudge-nudge wink-wink to the readers. Rukia doesn’t think about the fact that Ichigo looks almost identical to her first love, but we sure as hell do. ‘This is the same situation!’ Kubo says, ‘only this time, he’s not married! How do you think this will pan out, hmm?’ Additionally—this part is a bit of a reach, but whatever, I’m throwing it in—canonically, Ichigo’s never once thought anything about Rukia that seemed even VAGUELY similar to how he thought about his mom. But Rukia has described Kaien as warm—like putting your hand into a sunbeam without realizing it. Oh wow, I wonder who else Kubo has called sun in direct relation to Rukia????

I know this might be a bit confusing, because I just spent two paragraphs explaining how Rukia doesn’t equate Kaien to Ichigo, but now it seems like I’m saying Kubo’s equating Kaien to Ichigo. He’s not. What Kubo IS doing is he’s established a situational parallel in-narrative, in that the characters themselves only ever equate the situations and not the corresponding characters directly—but by fully utilizing his and our awareness as third-person omniscient readers, he’s pointing out additional factors that might be interesting but not necessarily critical for the overall plot. ‘Hey, that Kairuki tragedy sure was a shame. Luckily, we’ve got a similar story setup in which it was resolved happily! Also, Kaien ver 2 happens to be super not married. Super, super not married. Lol not that it means anything. I know everyone keeps pointing out how similar they look but pfft I’m sure nothing’s ever going to happen there.’ Yeah, fucking right. This asshole.

….Anyway, that leads me to the actual point of my post: THE MAIN PURPOSE OF THE KAIRUKI AND ICHIGO-MASAKI PARALLELS WAS NOT ‘OMG LOOK AT HOW SIMILAR THE SITUATION HERE IS, CLEARLY THIS IS THE SAME DYNAMIC IN THE PRESENT DAY’, IT WAS ‘YEAH, OK, THESE SIMILAR THINGS HAPPENED IN THE PAST AND IT SUCKED SHIT FOR BOTH OUR PROTAGONISTS, BUT THIS TIME THINGS ARE DIFFERENT.’

That’s the whole point. The parallels in the past sucked SHIT. They were, respectively, each of our protagonists’ worst trauma and memory. But THIS time, by virtue of the fact that things are DIFFERENT, by virtue of the strong bond they forged between the two of them (WITHOUT ANY SORT OF TAINT OR SHADOW FROM THEIR PREVIOUS COUNTERPARTS), they rewrote that story. They overcame their traumas. This dynamic in the current day is healthier and stronger than their parallels in the past, because DESPITE the parallels it is a different dynamic altogether.

Now, here comes the Isshin-Masaki parallel. Once again, this isn’t a direct character parallel; this is a situational parallel. But unlike the previous two parallels, this has BLATANTLY romantic overtones-- AND IT’S ALSO THE MOST CLOSELY FITTING, MOST DIRECTLY OBVIOUS PARALLEL IN THE ENTIRE MANGA. It’s almost a rehash, not a parallel. IDENTICAL SITUATIONS, IDENTICAL STORIES, GENDERS REVERSED, AND THIS ONE IS A LOVE STORY. Once again, this isn’t dwelled on by the characters in the manga themselves, but to us readers, it’s a HUGE wink-wink nudge-nudge. ‘Look, here’s a love story that looks identical to their initial story. Only, oh, wait, it kinda ended in tragedy. We know these two have a tendency of rewriting their old parallels for the better - don’t you wonder what they’ll do with THIS parallel?’

(the answer is, rewrite it better together. because that’s what they did with their other parallels. but that’s the furthest thing from we got in the end.)

And now, given all this so far: consider the endgame ships(ok, ONE endgame ship, only because Renji was so irrelevant to the overarching plot that he never got any meaningful parallel anywhere), which seem determined to mirror all these parallels DIRECTLY, and copy them as much as possible, rather than rewriting them or creating any difference from them. The biggest attempt I noticed to try and ‘justify’ ichigo -> orihime after the ending, by both the fandom and the official franchise, was by playing up orihime=masaki as much as possible. Her appearance, for one; the way yuzu comments that she reminds her of mom and wants to be closer to her for that reason. As the fans like to bring up, their appearance. Their bubbly personality? Her hairstyle in the final chapter, etc, etc. But the whole POINT of ichigo-masaki in relation to ichiruki was RUKIA WAS NOT MASAKI AND THIS WAS GOOD FOR ICHIGO. By trying to play up orihime = masaki, they’re effectively telling ichigo, marry your biggest trauma. stay tied down to it forever. There is nothing different in store for you. You don’t get to override it, to rewrite it. Not a parallel, but a rehash. In a similar vein, Ichigo was given the Isshin haircut, maybe in a weak attempt to justify IH by attaching it to the Isshin-Masaki parallel. Once again: rehash, not parallel. And finally, Rukia is back in the same position as Kairuki regarding Ichigo: married to someone else. Rehash, not parallel.

The absolute IRONY and TRAGEDY that the whole POINT of all of these intricately built parallels had always been that ichigo and rukia are different to all of these failed parallels in the past, and yet, in the endgame, all they are doing is desperately trying to copy the parallels to a T and attempting to convince everyone that it makes sense because, look, parallel!..... is an insult not only to our intelligence and comprehension as readers but to the narrative itself, since the parallels depended on BOTH to work. There’s several things I’ve mentioned already in Bleach that have, in the endgame, regressed back to or even past their starting point-- the Sokyouku, the Kuchiki Clan, etc. And now, I guess, we’re adding Ichigo and Rukia to that list - tied down to all their old, doomed parallels, with the emphasis now on how SIMILAR they are to it rather than how DIFFERENT they are to it; and thus with nothing to break them out of the looming tragedy this time. Fuck this ending.

**AN/Disclaimer: fdjskdjfh i said this wasn’t a meta and i honestly thought this was gonna be like... 500 words at most. but oops. this is meta. also, this probably isn’t as watertight as i USUALLY like to make my meta, because this whole concept of parallels is something I’m still poking at and refining. So I reserve the right to change my mind about any of my interpretation here. Goodnight.

#super super long text heavy post fair warning #bleach #bleach meta #fangirl life #ichiruki #kurosaki ichigo #kuchiki rukia #and masaki! and kaien! and parallels!#god it's been a WHILE since ive written any lengthy meta and the quality of this is TERRIBLE but it is what it is #im not gonna agonize about university essay quality for FANDOM META lmfao

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noteguk · 3 years ago

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white lies | teaser 1: you | jjk | m

[ ! ] this is one of two teasers for my upcoming fic (White Lies) which will be posted on July 5th. The second teaser, following Jungkook’s pov, will come out next Monday!

— contents and warnings (for the teaser); no major warnings for the teaser, kinda angsty but not really, athlete!jungkook x reader, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, heavy simping content, actually a good warning would be jk being all sweaty and shirtless

— words; 1,3k

The sun was a merciless god above you, sending its scorching waves down onto the open field, burning on your scalp and inducing the sweat that dripped down your neck. Even with your palm shielding your vision, you were still having a hard time following the movement of the ball amongst the players, a low buzzing sound in your ears muffling their excited exclamations. It wasn’t even summer, but it surely felt like it.

Maybe you were having a heat stroke, you thought, but quickly disregarded the idea. It wasn’t impossible, but you had just come out of a long hibernation period near the lockers, where a large shadow mingled with a cool breeze, relieving you of that free trial of Death Valley. Still, it wasn’t all good, and you certainly would’ve rather been inside an acclimatized environment with a bucket of ice cream than to be treated like a piece of meat in a barbecue. You would’ve left a long time ago if it wasn’t for him.

There was no excuse inside your head that didn’t sound like you were simping hard — because, even though it was a difficult pill to swallow, it was the truth. Yeah, maybe it was a nice gesture for you to stick around until Jungkook got his much-deserved break, maybe it was super nice of you to make sure his water bottle was freezing cold for when the time came. There was no reason he couldn’t do that by himself, though, and he had the rest of his teammates to spend his break with. You were just simping. And acting like a complete clown because of it.

Two sharp whistles interrupted their practice, their coach signaling that it was time for a break. You breathed out in alleviation for exactly two seconds before you saw Jungkook jogging in your direction, and then your nervousness picked right back up.

It was so unfair how dazzlingly handsome he looked that you wanted to go up to heaven and have a very heated argument with whoever thought it was a good idea to send that level of perfection down to Earth. He even looked like those scenes in Shrek in which Prince Charming is moving in slow motion, his luscious hair to the wind and a striking smile on his face — okay, maybe you were having a heat stroke.

“What’s up?” He asked, a little out of breath, as he reached you. At some point amongst your catastrophe of horny thoughts, you had reached for his bottle, and were now handing it to him. “Thanks. You look sweaty.”

You scoffed. “If I'm sweaty, I don’t know what makes you.”

Jungkook squeezed the bottle, sending a squirt of water directly into his open mouth. Did you stare at his jawline and the muscles on his neck for a little too long? Absolutely. But he didn’t have to know that. “Yeah, fair enough.” He brushed the back of his hand against his mouth. “Coach went insane today— Did you bring something to eat?”

You nodded, reaching for your backpack. The bench next to you was covered with your scattered notes, most of which you didn’t even have the attention span to go through. Midterms suck hard enough as it is, but you just had to make it worse by accompanying Jungkook during his practice. “Yeah, I noticed that,” you mumbled, miraculously finding a couple protein bars in your backpack — who were you kidding? You had put them there because of him. “Any reason for it?”

Jungkook shrugged, taking one of the bars. He looked out to the field as his hands worked on unwrapping it, a deep frown covering his face. He looked so gorgeous with his dark, sweaty hair pushed back that you almost didn’t compute his following words. “My fault, probably. Left early last time.” He shoved the bar inside his mouth before he could speak any further, his sparkling eyes growing wide at the taste. “Hm! This is great, by the way.”

Uneasy, you shifted around on your seat. From the corners of your eyes, you could see the silhouettes of his teammates walking around the field, looking like ghosts. You wondered if Jungkook didn’t prefer talking to them instead. “Wait, you said that you all got sent home early,” you said.

Jungkook chuckled like a nervous kid. “Hm, yeah. Kind of,” he admitted, unable to meet your gaze. “Didn’t want to make you mad. Besides, it was much more fun hanging out with you.”

Through the years, you had become a pro at pretending that his random praises didn’t get to you — mostly through minor bursts of frustration. “You’re such an idiot, you could’ve just waited another hour.” You slapped his shoulder lightly, which only made him laugh harder. “Do you know if it’s going to take long today? I kinda have a test on Friday and it’s hard to review out here. You know, for that class I’m basically failing already.”

He shrugged. “No idea. You can leave if you want.” Jungkook returned the water bottle to you, along with the bar he didn’t eat. “I have a date later so I’ll have to rush home, anyways. You can take a break at being my personal cheerleader for the day.”

That was the moment that you wished that he had stabbed you in the chest instead, considering he had caused much more damage with his casual words alone. It wasn’t the first (nor the last) date that Jungkook had, but they all felt like it; they all surprised and hurt you all the same. Maybe it was your own fault for building up some hopeful expectations that, deep down, your feelings were mutual. Maybe it was time to snap out of that alternate reality you had created in the name of your own comfort, and search for someone else.

“Who are you going out with?” Your voice was normal, controlled, not at all equivalent to the shattering of your heart.

Problem was: there wasn't someone else.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his head, oscillating his stare away from yours. “You don’t know her, and I—”

Two sharp whistles (which now sounded so merciful) interrupted his excuses. Jungkook took a dumbfounded glimpse at his teammates, soon meeting the pissed off look in his coach’s face.

“Already? Fuck,” he complained, hand grabbing his shirt and using it to dry the sweat on his forehead. If your heart weren’t in shambles, you probably would’ve enjoyed the view of his abs in full display for three glorious seconds, before his team shirt fell back into place. “I think you should go home and rest, ___.” Jungkook started to jog away, raising his voice so you could hear it. “I’ll text you about how it went later, alright? And don’t get a heat stroke!”

“Okay,” your voice was a soft little thing, and you knew he hadn’t heard it. Jungkook was already halfway across the field, his back turned to you and the large number ten bouncing on his back. “Have fun.”

You took a deep breath, hands working to put your notes on a neat pile. The smell of fresh grass was intoxicating, making you a bit dizzy as you got up to your feet. You let his water bottle in the corner of the bleachers, where there was a small shadow, and went home.

#bts fic #jungkook fic #bts x you #bts x reader #reader insert #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #smut #fluff #angst #bts smut #Jungkook smut

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heavenaintaniceplace · 3 years ago

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so i found my mother’s copy of the jw (new world translation) bible and i decided to yoink that shit for disposal but not before i realized there is a lot of lines highlighted in the book from when she was being manipulated by the jw lady that convinced her to do “bible study” for years. and what do you know if the lines the lady had my mother highlight weren’t the same lines that jws use to justify their cult beliefs! all the lines are cherry picked, no actual study, just the lady manipulating and priming her to accept their beliefs by presenting so called “biblical proof.” so here is some of the things that stand out before i finally rip this thing to shreds and through it away.

literally the whole book replaces every instance of the tetagrammaton with “jehovah” because they want people to believe its been “removed from the bible thousands of times because they don’t want you to know the true name of god”. the whole thing is translated with an agenda to make them look right and everyone else wrong and to make people believe they have some secret hidden knowledge (they don’t they’re liars). putting this under a read more because its very long.

heavy TW for everything related ro religious trauma, the jehovah’s witnesses, bible passages and christianity. incredibly long post. i plan on burning the jehovah’s witness copy of the bible, no joke.

the imago dei part of genesis to try and convince her that humans were super special to god

genesis chapter 3, the serpent convincing eve to eat the fruit of knowledge so that she would accept their version of the original sin doctrine and that women are cursed

chapter where cain kills abel to convince her that this was the first murder in human history (obviously incorrect)

highlighted the part where god kills everything on earth with a flood to groom her into expecting god to do it again later and seen as fair and just and part where god “gives” noah every living creature (because fuck other organisms apparently)

part of leviticus where (in their version) theyre like “no soul must eat blood” (what the fuck) to justify not allowing life saving blood transfusions

deuteronomy part about “jehovah being one” to justify being non trinitarian (they don’t believe jesus is god or that the holy spirit is god, this is meant to lure people who are already christians away from their denoms and into theirs)

“thou shall not kill” is highlighted for some reason and i don’t know why

highlighted job 1:12 to emphasize that they believe satan is in control of the world because god allows it and job 26:7 that has a note saying “the earth hangs there” when talking about sheol to convince her of where earth is relative to “heaven” and using a bunch of “face of the waters” creationist language to make it vague as possible. job 27:5 to make her believe that “no one is righteous” and that saying so is sinful

part in psalms that assures that “wicked people will be no more if you just wait a little while longer” (this is the apocalypse imminent narrative they use to groom people with fear of dying or leaving but also to get them warmed up to the idea of mass death). “the righteous will inherit the earth and live forever” narrative so they believe that jws will live on earth forever after being resurrected while everyone else (whos not a jw) is killed by god

psalms 91 to drive home the fact that these people think theyre invincible in every meaning of the word, to natural disasters and disease etc

proverbs 6 part about “false witnesses”. jws believe that three jehovah’s witnesses have to be present to verify that a crime (like domestic or sexual abuse) actually happened or the governing body and elders don’t care. literally. the “false witness” narrative is used against survivors and people they want to silence in their organization and emphasizes how much jehovah hates “false witnesses” aka people brave enough to talk and victims

proverbs 12:18 about “wise and unwise tongues”, basically anyone that speaks out against the jws are “unwise” and harmful

proverbs 22 about raising children (”train up a child”, if you don’t know it already this is a child abuser dog whistle) that implies that indoctrination will last until adulthood if done right. this is especially bad because this copy is from the early 2000s when i was in kindergarten. this woman had been lurking on us since i was an infant.

proverbs 27 about how neighbors near is better than brothers far away. the implication here is that fundamentally family who aren’t jws don’t matter

ecclesiates 5. i genuinely think its warning people to not ask too much of god or risk his anger, thats the vibe im getting here because the wording is confusing as fuck

isiah 40:22 trying to hammer in the notion that god is greater than anything especially “worldly” governments (except the governing body ofc /s). isiah 43:10 the “you are my witnesses” to justify the name “jehovah’s witnesses” and shoehorn the idea in

daniel 2:40, the idea of an indescribable kingdom, the whole kingdoms in the “last days” conspiracy they use to convince people the “last days” are coming

matthew 4:8 where jesus is persuaded by satan by offering every kingdom on earth. the point in text is “don’t worship anyone except god” but the point of the jws is that nothing on earth actually matters

matthew 6:9 (nice), the our father, meant to make the reader to ask god to hasten the kingdom of god or as we ex-jws know hasten the apocalypse and the death of people they dont like

matthew 16:24, meant to convince people to leave everything behind and join the jws, “disown yourself” aka “die to yourself” toxic bullshit repackaged

matthew 19:9, to convince people that divorce even in instances of domestic abuse is wrong because the governing body won’t allow it and loves to control women

matthew 24:4-14, “anyone who doesnt speak for the jws is a false prophet” and warms people up to the notion that war is necessary; also that evidence of war is a sign of the “last days” and that this is supposed to be good news. ongoing war and the hope for global genocide is “good news” to them.

matthew 24:21. this one is meant to make people feel the apocalypse could happen at any time and to be afraid of it, a great war is coming and only the “chosen ones” (jehovah’s witnesses) will survive when everyone else dies. there’s a paper bookmark on this page. makes me wonder.

mark 8:34. the “die to yourself” bullshit, the idea that the cross was a “torture stake” because jws believe that wearing crosses is idolatry and they want other people to believe their quirky beliefs so they accept heavier things

matthew 10:28, “anyone who follows jehovah and jesus will literally live forever!” but also that “no one is prepared to leave their family for jesus and thats shameful because you should want to sacrifice your entire family!”

mark 11:24 “anything you pray for earnestly you get”. this is spiritual bypassing btw. and :25 “ask for forgiveness and be automatically forgiven no matter what you did” is also fucked

matthew 15-23: jesus (almost) gets wasted while being crucified etc, not sure why this one is highlighted unless im missing some jw bullshit here

luke 20:27. don’t understand this one but they’re threatening “heavier judgement” on people

john 5:28, promising resurrection through jesus after people die but only for the Good tm people (the jws)

john 6:15. how jesus is about to be arrested but goes to a mountain. dunno why this on is underlined

john 11:24. bringing home the same “jesus will save you from dying if youre a jw” bullshit. john 14:6 “jesus is the ONLY way ever! there can’t be anything else except jesus” indoctrination tailored to make you co-dependent. john 17:3, hook line and sinker of promising resurrection and “eternal life” again

john 17:15. here is the “we aren’t of the World tm” shit meant to make you feel outcast from everyone else who isnt a jw, setting up “the world” (everyone else) as other

acts 15:25. “follow the jw rules because the holy spirit you to”

romans 10:10, spread jw beliefs and witness as much as possible. romans 12:9 “hate everything jehovah hates so you’re not a hypocrite” basically means hate other people the jws don’t approve of

corinthians 6:9 (nice but not so nice this time) “anyone we don’t like won’t inherit the earth” translation: anyone we don’t like won’t survive the apocalypse thats definitely happening soon so always be afraid. “homosexuals” are changed to “men kept for unnatural purposes for this one.” still homophobic.

corinthians 7:6, the idea that everyone has a gift that needs to be exploited and used by the jws

corinthians 15:33. “don’t participate in any activities with any outsiders because it will lead you away from jehovah!! fun is ‘drunkenness’, you’ll loose your resurrection if you do!! non jw people are bad influences!!”

2 corinthians 7:1. your body and flesh is defiled, you need to be cleansed in order to be good

galatians 5:20. “having human emotions is sinful! struggling is sinful! being angry is sinful! having a bad day is sinful!” basically that being human is inherently wrong or something

ephesians 3:14. tries to make people believe everything is owed to god only and that obedience is good so they fall for cult power structures later. 4:28 here is just the top of the page being labeled “new personality” and thats all we need to know about indoctrination and cult personality vs actual personality. also “let not the sun set with you in a provoked state” being used against people still angry about being wronged and hurt by others and its been used against me a lot of times

ephesians 6:4. make sure the jw fathers provide the most discipline to children, literally uses the phrase “mental regulating of jehovah”. it couldn’t be more cult like at this point.

timothy 5:8 makes people believe that men alone are expected to provide and if they don’t they’re worse than “those without faith”. no pressure though!

timothy 6:19. wants people to neglect everything actually happening in favor of the “real life” (”eternal life”) instead and to constantly prepare for that instead of actually living life. dedicate your whole life to jw activities

titus 2. women need to be subjects to their husbands but also homemakers, live to glorify their husband, chaste and definitely not mentally ill or showing any symptoms. what the fuck is titus i never heard of this shit until today.

hebrews 1:7-14, trying to convince people that angels live to serve god but also has some superseccsionist/replacement theology (antisemitism) vibes going on

james 2:23, wants people to believe that god “putting people to the test” is actually a way to become “jehovah’s friend” and that being put to the test (read: suffering) is actually a good thing because it primes them to accept suffering as their fault later on. james 4:7 “everything evil will vanish if you rebuke it long enough!!”

peter 3:9 the “god’s timing is always right” gospel bs and encourages people not to do things themselves but to wait and also that jehovah will be on time when its time to start another global genocide. how encouraging! peter 3:13, the same “end of world near” scare tactic, “new heavens new earth” promise to eradicate everyone the jws dont like as that is jehvoah’s “promise” to the witnesses

1 john 3:8, their version of the original sin doctrine, the devil is the source of all evil scare tactic etc

short detour: every instance of “servant” is replaced with “slave” in this version. it makes me feel ill.

revelations 7:16, wants people to believe that god will take away all their pain and that they won’t need food or water to survive anymore (bullshit). also the jehovah’s witness 144,000 chosen people bullshit is here too but not highlighted

revelations 12:7-13, a depiction fo michael drop kicking satan and the implication that satan has always been in charge and not god because they want people to believe that. also that the devil will fall to earth and try to eat jws

revalations 14-4: virgins get dibs on heaven and god i guess. i dont know what the fuck is going on. 14:6 an angel yelling fear god from above, probably where the jws get most of their apocalyptic imagery from that they use to scare children into believing they could die at any minute

so now that we finally got to the end of that mess, their version of revalations ends with jesus saying “yes, i am coming quickly” and “may the undeserved kindness of jesus christ be with the holy ones.”

joking aside, everything highlighted in this copy of this book has been used against me and my mother for years and is a huge part of the reason i have religious trauma now. everything she was told or encouraged to highlight aided jehovah’s witness indoctrination and propaganda, her own indoctrination and eventually mine which apparently started even earlier than i thought.

#ex christian #haanp.txt #ex jehovah's witness #ex jw #exvangelical #religious trauma

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bluntforcefem · 3 years ago

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bug fables roleswap au!

hi thank you @cyanopicacyanus most beloved i would LOVE to! fair warning to anyone reading the text under the cut that this au explanation will have spoilers for the entirety of bug fables! so if you’re someone who wants to go in entirely blind and hasn’t watched/played bug fables yet- don’t click!

similarly, this covers similar things to the original bug fables stories, including the themes and plots of the requests. so watch out if any of those bug you! (Bug You haha)

the central focus of the au is the swap between the three main characters: leif takes vi’s place, vi takes kabbu’s place, and kabbu takes leif’s place. however, it gets a little more funky from there, in the nature of telling a fun and fresh story AND preserving major & important parts of their original personalities and backstories!

this explanation will go over the characters, and then specific moments & such that i think would change as well! ft. vi & leif getting to do crime, as they deserve

VI AS KABBU

vi, her sister jaune, and a currently unnamed friend of theirs are from a hive outside of bugaria, beyond the wild swamplands. they all decide to go to bugaria to explore - vi for money and exploration, jaune to see the art there. on the way there, in the same fashion as kabbu’s master and bit, vi and jaune’s friend dies to the beast to protect them while they run away.

vi and jaune, fueled by grief and anger at the loss, have a VERY LARGE blowout fight that ends in jaune leaving the swamplands for their home hive, and vi continuing on to go to bugaria! wooooo

what you get here is. vi largely keeps her desire to prove herself and get rewards from exploring, but there’s an added layer of: “if i can just prove myself as an explorer, i can kill the beast, and show jaune that she was wrong and trying to go to bugaria was worth it all along.” (even if vi doesn’t fully believe herself that the loss was worth it! character nuance my beloved)

KABBU AS LEIF

HERE’S WHERE THINGS START TO GET FUNKY! stick with me here folks, because ghosts are going to be real and in your home (and in bugaria.)

it all starts with a change with what the roaches in snakemouth labs are researching - instead of trying to achieve immortality with cordyceps (which is relegated to another lab, which is a special tool that’ll help us later), the roaches in snakemouth were attempting to achieve immortality by finding a way to bind spirits to exist after death, subsequently to re-enter their bodies. snakemouth was chosen for this for the high concentration of magic that allowed this to be possible - magic that permeated beyond just where the labs were. however, no corpse fit the conditions for spirits to re-enter them, leaving tens of spirits lonely and wandering. eventually, they all ganged up on the roaches who left them this way and killed them!

enter: kabbu, his master, and bit, who entered snakemouth den during the reign of elizant the first to find the artifact! the same beat as leif and his exploration team in canon. they get ambushed by a spider while investigating, and kabbu wakes up decades later when leif & vi rescue him!

what happened in snakemouth den was this: all three of the exploration team that entered perished, including kabbu. due to the experiments going on in snakemouth, and the roaches’ adjustment to the area and its energy, all three of their spirits sustained after death, and All Three Of Them Went Into Kabbu’s Body! kabbu is fully unaware of this until his request is done, in which the final battle of snakemouth labs is not a zommoth, but an amalgamation of lost ghosts that kabbu (and master and bit) refuse to acknowledge any similarity too.

instead of using the royal we and slipping into “i” during his request, kabbu uses “i” most of the time, and slips into using “we” when he sees the amalgamation and realizes the truth about what happened to him and his old family. i have given the kabbu ghosts both metaphorical AND literal this time!

tl;dr: the theme of snakemouth labs is ghosts instead of zombies, and kabbu is very, very haunted.

LEIF AS VI

remember when i said that the cordyceps being in another lab would be my special tool that would help us later? yeah! so. the most important part of this is that both leif & muse are still alive! it hasn’t been decades, for him - he’s been around during elizant ii’s reign.

leif and muse were an explorer (muse) and scientist (leif) duo exploration team that was sent by elizant ii to study the lost sands and find clues on the roaches and the everlasting sapling. they were pretty good at it! and one day, near the sand castle gate, leif finds a cordyceps colony that acts a little weird, has some sort of magical ability. so he takes it back to his lab for isolated study!

while he’s studying it, bandits from the lost sands attack while muse is gone, hoping to find research, etc. to hand over to the wasps. the cordyceps’ tube keeping it temperate and lively is shattered, leif is heavily injured, and it isn’t looking good for him or the cordyceps. so they reach out to each other, and fuse into each other, and the cordyceps “patches up” leif. both of them are still kicking around in there! it’s a very confusing case of identity for a while, but in a similar case to canon, the cordyceps Wants to care about muse and the people leif cares about. this time they’re just aware of what they are!

HOWEVER. muse comes back! and leif fills muse in on the situation, but neither him nor the cordyceps are particularly interested in studying himself or the effects it could have on his body, or any form of self-preservation related to it - they’re mostly just content to take their blessings as it is. This Does Not Sit Well With Muse! they argue about it for a while, it causes a rough patch, and they both agree that it would be better if they took a while to think about it by themselves. for context, this happens about six or seven months before the bug fables canon Starts.

leif is also SUPER banned from the explorer’s association & science groups for unethical science practices, particularly when the queen herself condemns his actions (mostly after he refuses to share the information he gained about what this could mean for the everlasting sapling. the cordyceps’ dislike of the roaches and what they did to it sustains post-fusion!)

leif’s request, then, centers around him coming to terms with the idea that he can be both kind to himself as he is (him and the cordyceps, him-and-the-cordyceps) AND make sure that this fusion is healthy for him AND continue his work in some form. it’s all about accepting that although his response was reasonable for when he had it and his experiences, muse was also very right about the fact that he needed to take care of himself after that! and it’s also about reconciling with muse herself. they do NOT get divorced i promise they’re happily married and have a kid

OTHER FUN THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

this is longer than i thought it would be! but hey, here’s my favorite part - getting into some of the major/minor plot changes that result from the changes in the roleswap!

all of the characters keep their attack types! for the reasons explained (gestures above) in their plot. however, kabbu gets a ghost-related TP skill after his request is completed!

leif & vi don’t have a legal explorer’s permit until AFTER snakemouth den. vi isn’t allowed to get one by herself, and when leif offers to be her partner, he’s reminded that he is SUPER BANNED from doing that! so they both sneak into snakemouth den illegally to find the artifact and prove that they can be an exploration team, and along the way find kabbu. inside your local fucked up cave you will find a free moral compass and friend

also: both kabbu and leif have a SUPER weird reaction to areas with heavy magic/the artifacts/roach technology! in this thread, they also have a super fun reaction to seeing each other for the first time, while vi is Literally Just Sitting There. sorry vi you’re on a team with not one but TWO fucked up guys (affectionate) on it

vi’s request is similar to kabbu’s with setting up the gravesite in the swamplands, but team snakemouth also helps her write a letter to jaune! i think in a post-canon world jaune eventually comes to bugaria to see vi and they (after a very long talk and bribery via vi getting jaune into this hive’s art gallery) reconcile too.

muse is HERE and i like her SO MUCH. this isn’t much of a plot thing but she’s alive in this au and everybody gets to see how like. Much she definitely made the first move, etc. i think her and elizant ii are friends they have tea on saturdays

if you made it this far - thanks for reading!! this is an au i love dearly and have put a LOT of thought into and i hope to write some fic for it sometime!!

#kbitycus art #bug fables roleswap #<- this'll be my tag for it lmao #whew this was a lot #bug fables

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ombresart · 3 years ago

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Hello there dear author! I reeeaaally love the way you write in your wip. To be honest, I haven't read the book yet. I'm thinking of purchasing it once I finish my research. If you don't mind me asking, whose pov is heavily focused in the book? Is it Catherine's or Heathcliff's?

Hi! I'm really glad to hear you like my writing! It's totally fine that you haven't read the book yet lol. The answer to your question is a little complicated though!

Technically, it's from neither of their perspectives – the book pulls the extremely classic gothic move of having a narrative frame around it, and is also told in first person. So the narrator character for the "modern" (post-Catherine's death) section is actually a guy who won't be showing up in my game! He is literally just some guy who shows up to rent a place near Wuthering Heights. He is then told the story that makes up the bulk of Wuthering Heights the novel by Nelly! The portion of the storyline he directly experiences is also where we get the iconic ghost scenes (which I will be pulling from).

With this is mind though, I should also answer the spirit of the question: while the novel itself mainly follows Catherine narratively until her death and then the kids for the rest of the book, Healthcliff is the central figure of the story. The book is really about him and his actions, but it leaves almost all of his life and story out of the actual text. It's super interesting! My professor called him a "lacuna" – Heathcliff is a hole in the narrative, a blank space right in the middle of the book. So, long story short, the answer to your question is both and neither!

Fair warning to everyone who is thinking of or going to read the book by the way: obviously while I loved it, it definitely isn't for everyone and there's no shame in just not being into it. You can still come play my game (which is going to, if you play your cards right, fix things for everyone) without having read the source material! I'm taking necessary liberties to have a fun game while still maintaining the spirit of the text. Definitely check out content warnings if you need them before reading either my game or the original book though; both will deal with some pretty heavy topics, and basically every character is actually a pretty awful person. I still love them though, so mileage may vary significantly!

#asks #thanks for playing!! good luck reading the book!!#shes definitely my fav of the bronte sisters. i am sorry but jane eyre is not as good as wuthering heights.#this is a hill im willing to die on #anne bronte is underrated though i really love her as well!

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omg-imagine · 5 years ago

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⊱ Forget Me Not (1/15) ⊰

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Summary: After you wake up from a coma and realize that your memories from the last five years have been erased, Keanu works to bring back what you have lost.

Words: 2k

Warnings: Mention of car accident, injuries

A/N: This is my first attempt in doing a series and I’m super excited/nervous. Everything’s mostly outlined already and I’m hoping to post a new chapter every Sunday. If you’d like to be tagged in this, let me know!

As always, I hope you enjoy!

The heavy rain poured down from the dark skies, battering against the roof of Keanu’s Porsche like a hail of bullets. Loud roars of thunder filled the gaps of silence every few minutes, followed by bright flashes of lightning that illuminated the world outside. The wipers moved impressively fast as they tried to sweep the droplets of water away from the windshield. Still, they could barely keep up with the torrent of rain hammering the city of Los Angeles.

Turning down a corner, Keanu cursed under his breath when he realized that the road was flooded. He quickly made a U-Turn back onto the main street, his tires skidding across the wet pavement. He searched for an alternative way that he could take, but the chaotic storm only made it more difficult for him to do so. He could hardly see what was ahead of him, and he was beginning to lose his patience.

Fortunately, Keanu was able to find an access road leading to the freeway. He knew it wasn’t safe going twenty miles above the posted speed limit, but he had already lost too much time trying to navigate through the storm. All he cared about at that moment was that the faster he drove, the quicker he got to you.

He could still remember every word of that phone call from nearly an hour ago. It was from an unknown number, and initially, he didn’t want to answer it just in case you decided to call him back. But something in his gut told Keanu to answer, and he did. It had been a nurse on the other line saying that you were in an accident, and you were rushed to the emergency room in critical condition. As soon as he heard that you were hurt, he was already running out of the door.

His eyes glistened as he thought back to the moment before you had left your shared home in such a haste. Keanu blamed himself for giving you a reason to leave the house while a storm raged outside. He should have held back his tongue, took your car keys, and convinced you harder enough to stay. If only he had done just that, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now.

The rest of the drive to the hospital was a blur. After driving for fifteen minutes when it should have taken Keanu at least thirty, he finally arrived in front of Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. He parked his vehicle in a nearby lot before rushing towards the entrance, the pitiless rain soaking his hair and clothes in an instant. Reaching the glass doors, they parted for Keanu to step inside, and he immediately headed to the main desk ahead.

“Hi, I-I’m here for my partner, Y/N Y/LN,” he managed to say as he caught his breath.

The nurse nodded, checking her system for your information. “Yes, I was the one who called. Your name was listed as Y/N’s emergency contact. According to the last update on here, it says that she was wheeled into surgery about thirty minutes ago, Mr. Reeves.”

“Is she going to be alright?” Keanu asked wearily, hoping that her answer was what he wanted to hear.

It wasn’t.

“We don’t know yet, sir,” she replied sadly before placing a clipboard on top of the counter. “You can sit in the waiting room until the procedure is over. In the meantime, we need you to fill out these papers on her behalf.”

With a nod of his head, Keanu walked down the hall with the paperwork and a pen in hand. The waiting area was stark and quiet. The television mounted on the wall was playing a movie, not that there was anyone paying attention to it. There were a couple of other people scattered in the room, though most were asleep due to the late hour of the night.

Keanu took a lone seat in one corner of the room, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of his drenched clothing sticking to his skin. He then pushed his long hair back, letting out a deep sigh. The adrenaline had finally subsided, and he had the opportunity to just breathe. He already knew that this was going to be a long wait, and he didn’t want to spend the whole time mulling about the things that he could have done to prevent this. As a start, he decided to concentrate on filling up the paper with your information first.

Most of the questions it asked were basic, nothing that Keanu couldn’t answer. After being together for nearly five years, he knew everything there was to know about you. He knew all of your favorite songs, the foods you liked and disliked, the names of your closest friends, and more.

You had been nothing but kind and understanding to Keanu from the moment you two met. It wasn’t an easy life living under the public eye because of his job as an actor, but you’ve always handled it so well. No other person he has ever dated had made him feel so happy and complete. To him, you were the most precious thing in the entire world, and he has never loved someone so deeply until you came along.

God, why did he have to screw up so badly?

Keanu set aside the clipboard and buried his face in his hands. He needed to call your parents and tell them what had happened. With a sharp exhale, he fished out his phone from his pocket and called your father. As the phone rang in his ear, he planned inside his head how he was going to break the news.

“Hi, Keanu,” your father greeted. He sounded as if he had just woken up, which he probably did. It was only five in the morning where they lived on the east coast. “Is everything okay, son?”

Son. Keanu was very close to your parents since the day you introduced him to them. They had quickly taken a liking on him, seeing that he was the first man you’ve dated that treated you right. Your parents loved Keanu as if he were one of their own, and it broke his heart knowing that this was all his fault.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, but...” Keanu began, his voice starting to break as he tried to find the right words. “It’s Y/N.”

“What? What happened?”

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Keanu told your father about your current condition. As expected, your parents would be taking the first flight out of New York to be with you. After an exchange of reassuring words, the call ended, and Keanu couldn’t hold back any longer, letting his tears finally fall.

An hour went by, then another and another. The clock on display made time felt as though it was moving much slower, making the wait much more unbearable. Keanu would glance up, and in every instance, he swore that the second hand would linger an extra minute at every passing second.

The padded chairs didn’t bring much comfort throughout the night. Every so often, he would walk around the room, stretching his legs for a bit before returning to his seat. Despite exhaustion threatening to take over, Keanu pushed it aside for as long as he could. He was afraid that if he dared to shut his eyes, he would see the nightmare that was already haunting him even while awake.

Keanu did whatever he could to pass the time. He texted his mother and sisters about where you were, not expecting an answer right away because he was sure they were still asleep. He then attempted to read some of the outdated magazines available and watched whatever was on the television. He even resorted to simply staring at the window and watching the rain as it pelted against the glass.

But none of them were enough to distract Keanu. All he could think about was your well-being, and how you didn’t deserve to go through this. He didn’t want to lose you, and the mere thought of it was scaring him. You had so much life left to live, and it wouldn’t be fair for the universe to suddenly take it away.

Eventually, the storm relented, and the skies that were black shifted to blue, signaling a new day of life. The sun rose slowly yet surely, its natural light bringing a sense of calm to Keanu. For a brief moment, he basked in the peacefulness, only wishing that you were there with him to enjoy it.

“Mr. Reeves?”

Keanu turned around, his eyes catching sight of a doctor standing before him. He instantly pushed himself up from his seat, extending his hand for a shake.

“Keanu, and you must be Y/N’s doctor.”

“Yes, my name is Dr. Henderson,” the older gentleman introduced. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing alright, I guess,” he replied with a slight shrug. “How’s Y/N?”

“Well, when Y/N first arrived, she was in bad shape, but we managed to stabilize her. The car accident caused a lot of internal bleeding that we were able to stop during the surgery,” Henderson explained as Keanu took in every word that was said. “Unfortunately, she’s not out of the woods yet. She did sustain severe head trauma, and as a result, she’s currently in a coma. We won’t know the extent of her injuries until after she wakes up.”

Keanu lowered his head, releasing the breath he was holding. “And when will she wake up?”

The doctor sighed, and that’s when Keanu looked up, seeing the uncertainty painted on the other man’s face. “I’m sorry, Mr. Reeves. We don’t know how long it’ll take. It could be days, weeks, maybe even months.”

“Okay,” was all that Keanu could say after a while. “Can I see her?”

Dr. Henderson gave him a sympathetic smile and a nod. “Of course.”

Henderson led the way as Keanu trailed closely behind. The walk to your room seemed endless. Every hallway they turned down to looked the same as the last. The blank white walls of the hospital felt cold, constricting and unwelcoming, it was becoming a place where a person like you shouldn’t belong.

Soon, they reached the foot of your door, your last name printed on a placard just below the room number. All Keanu had to do now was push down on the handle and open the door. His mind prepared him for what he was about to see. But as soon as he entered inside, it was worse than what he could imagine.

He crossed the room with cautious steps, afraid that if he were loud enough, it might disturb you. Your body was hooked on many machines, none of which he could possibly know what for other than they helped keep you alive. Once he reached your bedside, Keanu saw your delicate skin littered with the reds of your scratches and the blues of your bruises. Seeing you this way made his chest tightened, and if he could, he would trade places with you so that you no longer had to suffer.

Your body laid very still, and it was unnerving for Keanu to witness. Bringing a chair closer, he then sat down beside your bed, reaching out to hold your uninjured hand. He asked himself how you could look so peaceful after experiencing so much pain. If you had been awake, you would have surely given him a smart answer, and the two of you would then laugh about it.

Keanu felt the tears pricking his eyes as he continued to grasp your hand in his. He would do anything in the world just to hear the sweet sound of your laughter again. Though he was unsure of what tomorrow and the following days would bring, he knew that he would be right there by your side, waiting for you to wake up from your deep sleep.

Because despite everything that has happened, Keanu loved you, and he made a vow that he would never give up on you no matter what.

Part 2

Tagged: @penwieldingdreamer

#keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves x you #reader insert #my fics #rpf

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daydreamngs · 5 years ago

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You’re beautiful | George MacKay

requested: No (send me some requests!)

warnings: Some angst, negative self-image, fluff.

word count: 1281

a/n: When I first wrote this, it was mainly for myself because I struggle with acne as well and just kind of need something like this, but I decided to post this here as well in case someone needed this too. You’re beautiful, matter what.

Y/N couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her skin without a blemish or imperfection staring back at her. She couldn’t remember a time where she hadn’t felt the need to put makeup on her face in order to feel pretty, to have someone look at her and think she was pretty as well. Insecurities were an ugly thing, some people said demons weren’t real but she believed they were real, in the form of the insecurities that ate at every person. When she looked in the mirror, she tried to remind herself that she wasn’t ugly just because of the acne that riddled her forehead and cheeks, or the acne scars that stained her skin reminding her that she could never be free of her own demons. She tried to remember that everyone, even those who she found amazing and beautiful, had their own demons as well. That thought made her feel better and it made her feel as though she had some hope that despite her own views of her appearance, that someone found her beautiful, but it never lasted long.

The idea of that washed away whenever she looked at her bare skin under the harsh lights of her makeup mirror. Every morning, she would wake up and first think, “It’s actually not bad this morning! I think I’ll go without my foundation and concealer today,” but once she goes through the steps of washing her face and putting moisturizer on, the red spots would grow red and angry which in return led her to putting on heavy makeup anyways. It was one of those mornings, her e/c eyes were looking at her skin, picking herself apart even when she didn’t try to. Those thoughts started to filter in through her mind again, and a heavy sigh fell from her lips as her eyes began to flood with tears. Was she beautiful? Could someone see her bare face and still call her beautiful with a whole heart of honesty? The idea felt impossible, it really was just an idea. It didn’t seem to be her reality. Why couldn’t she be beautiful? She shook her head in frustration, in an attempt to shake away those thoughts and worries that ate her from the inside out. Choosing to ignore it, she went on with the process of putting on her makeup, trying not to worry about how it looked in certain spots. She was getting ready to go meet with her friend, George, or rather the guy that she liked to go have lunch with him. Between college and the responsibilities she had when she was home, as well as his schedule, it was really hard to find a time where it worked for both of them so when there was an opportunity they both jumped on it. She was happy to see him, she always was. They texted whenever they both had the time but it wasn’t the same, it never stopped her from missing him.

Giving herself one last look over in her mirror, adjusting her necklace and then gave herself a smile, happy with her appearance now that her red spots were no longer as visible. With the ding of her notifications, she rushed out the door, quickly locking it behind her before going to meet George in his car. She felt a little nervous, considering it had been a while since she’d seen him, she’d cut her hair since the last time she saw him so she looked quite a bit different and while she’d sent him pictures, it was different to see it in person. Butterfly swarmed her stomach and she fiddled with her fingertips as she gave him a bright smile opening the car door, “Hey, stranger!” She said, a joking tone to her voice as she spoke. Y/N was completely unaware of the fact that George had watched her as she exited her home and walked to his car, she was unaware of the fact that his breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. He found her breathtakingly beautiful, he could see the somewhat shyness she held in her as she made her way to him - he associated it with the fact that she had cut her hair - but he loved it, he loved the way it brought out her features and made her look feminine in a different sort of way. He wondered if she knew of the effects she had on him, how gorgeous he found her to be. Snapping from his thoughts as she had opened the door and got in, her perfume filling his car - not that he was complaining. A grin captured his lips, leaning over to give her a hug from his seat not being able to wait, “That hurts, I can’t believe we’ve gotten to that stage already.” He’s able to joke back at her, giving a little shake of his head adding a “tch” for an extra effect. Y/N gave a roll of her eyes but basked in the smell of his cologne and his warm touch as he hugged her. She hoped he couldn’t feel her heart pounding in her chest through their somewhat side-hug. “I refuse to let it happen again, I don’t care how busy we both are.” She responds easily, giving a little scrunch of her nose in disapproval of the idea. He gives a nod of agreement, eyes lingering over her features, he doesn’t think he could have gone another day without seeing her. He licks his lips as he tears his gaze away from her, “Onward now, our lunch awaits us.” Y/N looks back into the back of his car, a happy look gracing her features, “Speaking of, I didn’t realize we were having a picnic.” The thought of having a picnic with George made her giddy, as though she was a kid in high school again. Now she was looking forward to this day even more.

Y/N happily eats the food that George made them, enjoying every second of this lunch date and the company she had. She waits until she’s finished with that bite before she speaks again, “Work has been super stressful as always, I guess, and my professors are really piling up the assignments right out the gate, I wish they would put that on the catalog so I could have planned accordingly y’know.” A heavy sigh falls from her lips, an eyebrow-raising in question towards George, “How has everything been with you?” She questions, giving a little wipe to the corner of her mouth with the pad of her thumb. The answer never comes, only a dazed gaze is given to her and she furrowed her eyebrows now worried about him. Had she said something wrong? “Hey, you okay?” A sweet tone to her voice as she speaks, putting her food down, she puts the palm of her hand down onto the blanket they had laid out, leaning forward slightly as she awaited a response from her. “You’re beautiful.” Y/N is taken aback by this statement, and that’s shown as she finds herself leaning away now, a blush burning at her skin. Her ears burned a bright red and her cheeks were dusted with the faint rosy color that was dulled by her makeup. For a moment, she couldn’t meet his eyes as she was too embarrassed but once she did look at him, she held a look of shyness in her eyes, “Do you mean that?” She wanted to know, she needed to know. The corners of his lips downwards in a frown, he didn’t know what her reaction would be to his comment but he didn’t it would be that. “Y/N, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and I mean that with every piece of my heart.” Tears soon started to flood her eyes at his words, she shook her head and tore her gaze away from him, suddenly finding their surroundings to be much more interesting than she had a couple of minutes prior. Worry surged through George’s body and he quickly scooted closer to her, his hands reaching up to cup her cheeks, gently making her look at him once again, “What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?” He didn’t know what was happening or why, and he was so desperate to know so he could try to fix whatever he did. The girl gave a little shake of her head, still not having the courage to look him in the eyes. “I… I just, I have so much acne, I try to make it go away and no matter what I do it doesn’t and it’s so ugly. I wanted to not wear any makeup today but it was eating at me that I wouldn’t be pretty without it and I feel like I have to put on makeup in order to feel pretty and I just… God this is so stupid.” She tried to explain her feelings, keeping them inside was one thing but saying them out loud was something else. Saying them to him made her feel silly and stupid. She sniffled, eyes finally meeting his to find him staring at her with a look she couldn’t quite understand. “It’s not stupid. Y/N, I want you to know that you’re beautiful no matter what. It doesn’t change anything else about you, and I mean that. You still have amazing eyes that I find myself getting lost in every time I look at you, you still have a cute nose and beautiful lips. Not to mention your hair, smile and that killer personality of yours. You’re beautiful, inside and out, and some silly acne marks don't do anything to change that. It’s normal to have skin problems, I’ve had my fair share of them myself but you never looked at me any differently for them, certainly, you never thought lesser of me or thought me ugly because of them. Now I’m here to tell you that you aren’t any lesser either, and most definitely not ugly. If anyone thinks otherwise, then they are truly blind.” His words started off strong but as he continued, he grew closer to her and his words softened until they were a whisper over her lips, their noses almost touching. Y/N found herself speechless, her heart pounding in her chest as she stared at him with so much love swirling in her eyes. “George, I…” He spoke then once more, “I love you.” He whispers, at last, his feelings finally bubbling out, not being able to hold it in any moment longer. He pushes his lips upon hers in a soft kiss, taking in the moment that they were sharing in the middle of the flower field, just the two of them. Y/N finds herself wrapping her arms around her neck and allowing her fingers to entangle themselves in the short hair at the back of his head, breathing and soaking in this moment before she pulled away for only a moment, “I love you too.”

#george mackay x reader #george mackay imagine #george mackay fluff #George Mackay #george mackay fanfic #fluff imagines #1917 imagine #1917 #william schofield #william schofield imagine #william schofield x reader #william schofield fluff #reader insert

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chrismerle · 4 years ago

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what’s up i spent way too long typing up a post about my thoughts on P5S, and it isn’t even all encompassing. i guess if you’re curious about anything i didn’t mention in this trainwreck just ask.

my spoiler-heavy thoughts/pseudo-review below the cut

THINGS I LIKED:

The characterization, broadly speaking. If you, like me, loved the Thieves in P5/P5R then you’ll be pretty happy with them here. There are a couple moments that made me roll my eyes (lookin’ at you, hot springs) but on the whole, the main cast are unchanged.

The new characters. Sophia and Zenkichi are great. Sophia is precious and Zenkichi straddles a very fine line of ‘realistically out of the loop, but gives as good as he gets.’ I don’t even care how silly their costumes were. Sophie looked like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, though I did like her little emoticon visor, but also she had no pants. Wolf’s mask was badass but the fact that his stupid pointy hat was riveted to the top of his stupid disco high collar killed it and I wanted to see someone grab his hat and pull it back to see it fling back into place like a drinky-drinky bird. Even so, the characters were great, and when I noticed that all the attacks for Sophie’s initial pseudo-Persona had question marks after them (Kouga? Dia?), it made me laugh, and Wolf’s a good all-purpose party member because he hits like a fucking truck and nothing is immune to Almighty. Plus in some of his post-battle dialogue he calls them all ‘kiddos’ and they consistently call him Gramps.

The gameplay. I mean, yeah, it’s VERY different than P5, but you all know that. And hey! The game no longer immediately ends if Joker gets knocked out (unless he’s the only one left in the party, obviously). It ran pretty smoothly, there’s something weirdly charming about the other Thieves showing up perched on cover points, and the only consistent issue I ran into is that in segments where the camera gets forced into a certain angle, it can switch back so abruptly at the end that you accidentally go walking right off a ledge.

I’ve never really played a Dynasty Warriors-type game before, so it took me a Jail or so to get used to it, but then I was just cackling as I mowed down swarms of Jack Frosts like a weed-whacker in a flower field with a knife the size of Joker’s torso. Honestly, it took me the longest to get used to the fact that the circle button became the all-purpose ‘interact’ button than anything else.

Actually, that’s a lie. It took me the longest to get used to the fact that if I left a Jail, I wouldn’t be losing any time. I’m very used to Persona games having the calendar constantly counting down, which wasn’t the case here.

The story, broadly speaking. It had some hiccups and some issues, which I’ll get into, but for the most part, it was fun. I’m...not going to outline every detail of the story here, but it felt very P5-y and I enjoyed it.

THINGS I LIKED BUT THAT NEEDED WORK:

The writing. It was a little inconsistent, beyond just the usual weirdness that I have accepted comes along with Persona games. (//patiently clicks through numerous conversations of the gang going ‘did this super obvious thing that this memory threw in our faces happen? Let’s debate about whether the most likely answer by a huge margin is the answer’ and several conversations of ‘are we sure this person is bad? We saw them playing nice, like literally every other villain we’ve faced’) A lot was great! Like, the bit with the Okinawa locals breaking into the RV while the kids hide in the bushes? Genuinely unsettling! Akane’s Jail and the fake Thieves was fun, and seeing Zenkichi scuttle from hiding place to hiding place without Thief powers was funny, and his Shadow’s glowing eyes watching him before becoming his Persona was both badass and unsettling. The realization that EMMA was actively lying to Konoe was nice. Character interactions were great and I loved that Sophia went with Ichinose at the end. There was a lot that was good. But there were also a lot of missteps.

Like, it kind of felt like the direction for the writing changed partway through. It started out as if each member of the Phantom Thieves was going to get their own time to shine, identifying and empathizing with a Monarch. Ann realized she could have been Alice. Yusuke realized he could have been Ango and also saw redeeming him as sort of like redeeming Madarame by proxy. Mariko was a link to Haru’s childhood and her father. The ghost Jail on Okinawa lured Sophie in and by the end she realized how much she meant to her friends ryuji said fuck. Akane was Zenkichi’s literal daughter. And then it went to Konoe and then EMMA, so Ryuji, Futaba, Morgana, Makoto, and Joker didn’t get a chance to shine in that regard. The switch from ‘a Jail for everyone to identify with’ to ‘whelp here’s the decoy and the end boss’ felt like they came from two separate drafts of the script, and it’s not like they had to watch the time; I got through P5S in about a third the time it took me to get through P5R. It took me about 35 hours. Considering the game kind of relies on you having played P5, they already knew their target audience has a longer attention span than that.

Owada was talked up as kind of a big deal, but he had like two scenes on-screen and otherwise was an entirely off-screen character. There’s a lot of mid-combat dialogue that is very difficult to focus on, which was sort of annoying when some of it was actually relevant. Ichinose’s reveal as a villain is very info-dump-y.

Plus, Joker wasn’t utilized particularly well as a silent protagonist. He’s got more implied personality than basically any other Persona protag. Which means he’s actually pretty expressive throughout the game, but I can probably count his lines of dialogue outside of combat with fingers left over. No one expects Yu Narukami to actually react to anything, so it doesn’t feel odd when he doesn’t. But the combination of Joker being reasonably expressive and having a demonstrated personality means you’re perpetually EXPECTING and WANTING him to say something about the shit going on, and when he doesn’t it feels like mentally missing a stair.

THINGS THAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

The cut corners. Like, a lot of things just seem lazy. There were scenes that really should have been included that weren’t, like how the Thieves escaped from the hotel after the police showed up; it cut from Zenkichi warning them and getting arrested to them arriving at the temporary hideout, so we never even got to see how the Thieves reacted to realizing the cops were outside. Requests to bond with the other Thieves only got a couple of text boxes, when they could have shown a tiny scene of them hanging out like they had all over P5. Rather than having Sae actually on-screen for her brief scene, the camera instead very unnaturally switched to an angle as if it was from her point of view, which was literally the only time the camera did that in the entire game. All of the Sentries look the same from Jail to Jail, instead of being unique to each Jail. Igor is completely absent for the entire game, and other than a throwaway ‘my master can’t be here’ from Lavenza it’s just not really acknowledged.

The missed opportunities. Like, there is no way to look at this except to assume that Joker was a horrible friend to literally everyone in this world state. Like, I can pass off the fact that everyone has their baseline Personae as being because they haven’t had access to their powers for a while, but when you combine it with the fact that NONE of Joker’s other confidants show up or even know he’s back in Tokyo, it leaves little to assume except that in this world, no confidants got maxed out. On top of that, the Personae are all basically pointless. They could be Pokemon or Stands or Digimon or fucking YuGiOh cards, and it wouldn’t make a difference; NOTHING about the game says ‘these entities are integral to this world and important to these characters.’ Also they could have had Akane actually realize who the Thieves were and it would have been hysterical, but that’s just my personal sulk.

The Requests. I liked the Mementos missions in P5/P5R. They felt like they had a point. Requests in P5S are all basically just fetch quests. ‘Go to Location A, fight so many of Enemy B to get so many of Item C. Turn in Request.’ Hell, one of them bugged out on me, I swear. There’s a Request to teach Zenkichi how to cook a simple meal, and Haru gives you a recipe including beef. I had no beef on me at the time, because if you want SP restoratives you gotta cook a fair amount and I used it, and I could find literally no beef in the city I was in at the time so I had to abandon the Request. On top of that, outside of getting food or a few moments where another character specifically asks for Joker’s attention, character-specific Requests mostly replace the ability to bond with the other characters individually.

The restoratives. Or, more specifically, the disparity between HP restoratives and SP restoratives. There’s essentially one cookable recipe to restore SP for every four recipes to restore HP. Even if I stopped at every store and vending machine, I’m pretty sure there were a couple cities where I could find NO SP restoratives for sale, while most stores and vending machines had at least two or three HP restoratives. And while it is true that you can go in and out of a Jail whenever you please to restore SP, that doesn’t help you if you run out during a boss fight you weren’t expecting (mini-boss encounters are virtually identical to regular monster encounters) or during one of the times where you CAN’T leave the Jail for reasons XYZ.

The final boss, and not just because I died and had to start over a few times. As a concept, EMMA could be cool, but in reality she just seemed like the writers threw Yaldabaoth and Maruki in a blender and poured the results into the game. Like Yaldabaoth, she is a false god who seeks to control humanity, claiming it’s what they want. Like Maruki, she seems genuinely deluded into thinking it’s for the best and that she’s not doing anything wrong. Her Jail looked like a slightly sci-fi reskin of the Depths of Mementos. The shtick with the multiple platforms and getting to actually SEE an all-out attack at the end were nice, but for the most part the fight itself was nothing special. Ultimately, EMMA had nothing unique going for her except her name.

Plus, EMMA’s entire rationale was that the majority of humans want someone else to control their lives for them, essentially out of convenience. And she’s presented as being more or less right, but that just being one of the hurdles of being human. It seemed a little dour and far-fetched. Like, the Thieves repeatedly point out that struggling allows people to grow, and they’re right, but in my experience, I’ve never actually met anyone who, upon hitting a roadblock, decided ‘Jesus take the wheel.’ Considering the greed with which her weird tentacle arms snatched up the solidified Desires, the pettiness of the complaints she used as a “gotcha,” and the fact that she just kind of reiterates her ‘people want to be controlled’ point over and over, I think it would have felt a bit more true to life and given her more agency if, instead of presenting her as largely correct, it instead acknowledged that everyone at some time or another hits a wall and wants someone to tell them what to do and had her capitalizing on those individual brief moments to hook people in, despite her having reams of data that for most people, those moments are temporary.

#persona 5 strikers #persona 5 strikers spoilers

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yariibu · 4 years ago

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// finally wrote up a drabble for a super heavy conversation between koshiro & his mother , which got long & kind of irrelevant in most of my threads with him right now . but i was feeling angsty so i’m posting this anyway . enjoy . fair warning , i didn’t bother to spell check this . lmaooo .

also , this is entirely headcanon .

warning: csa & r*pe mentions .

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❝ mom ? ❞ koshiro calls from outside his mother's bedroom door , peaking in from the small space where it stayed ajar . his step-father was on a business trip , not set to come home for another 2 days or so , depending on the train schedules . he'd come home that weekend specifically because he knew that man wouldn't be around , but even then it still took him until sunday evening to even build the courage for this conversation - one he'd suppressed for close to 15 years .

" come in , sweetheart ! i'm just putting some of my laundry away - " his mother's voice is as pure & chipper as ever . she's just as she always was , a bright woman with a beautiful smile as she stood by her closet door , comfortably dressed in pajama pants & a pastel-colored hoodie with the name of koshiro's university embroidered by the right sleeve . koshiro meanders into the room , closing the door so the dogs wouldn't follow him in & taking a seat toward the edge of his mother's side of the bed . " thank you so much for helping me out around the house this weekend , ko . you know your momma loves it when you come home to see her . "

koshiro smiles for a moment , but doesn't verbally respond . his gaze slowly drifts off toward the window , a hand brushing blond hair behind his ear as he feels the nervous energy in his chest build up . his habits could ever go unnoticed by someone as perceptive as his mother , though . the tall woman's expression immediately falls into concern , abandoning her place in her closet & approaching her son . " what's wrong ? you look like you've got something on your mind , " she comments , nearly reading him like a book .

❝ ..... ❞ he has a hard time finding the words at start , & his mother senses that . she sits beside him on the bed , a hand reaching out to shift platinum blond hair away from koshiro's eyes before resting her palm against his cheek . she was a spitfire compared to her son , but she also had a lot of patience , especially knowing how soft-spoken koshiro tended to be . she'd wait there until he was ready to speak . when he does , his voice is already starting to come out shaken . ❝ can i talk to you about something ? ❞

she giggles , brushing her thumb against koshiro's cheek . " you can always talk to your mother about anything . you know that , don't you ? "

he should know that .

❝ it's.... about my step-father . ❞

that seemed to catch his mother off-guard . throughout the time she'd been married to her current husband , she did notice that koshiro never seemed to be close with him . however , they always got along . she just assumed that even though that man told her he viewed koshiro like his own son , & koshiro had expressed in the past that he liked having him around - she didn't think there was any problems . she couldn't expect her son to be as close to that man as he could have been his own father , after all , he spent the first 8 years of his life without one . but from what she understood , they were still a happy family . " what about him ? "

koshiro couldn't suppress the deep breath he needed to take , unintentionally going silent again as he fidgets his shoulders . the palm on his cheek moved to his shoulder , giving it a concerned squeeze . now , his mother was worried . the way koshiro's expression twisted in on itself , the way he couldn't seem to settle . she knew something was wrong . " koshiro ? what's going on ? " she murmurs softly .

he never got any of the words out . instead , he just shook his head , & the tears started to flow . now , his mother started to feel a bit of panic herself , immediately taking her son into her arms as he quietly sobbed against her shoulder . " koshiro.... " she whispers , stroking a hand against his hair . " koshiro , please , you have to talk to me . what about your step-father ? " though , this wasn't looking good for her current husband . when her son mentions him , then immediately falls into tears - she knows there's information she's missing . something isn't right , & she's quite nervous that she doesn't know what it is .

her embrace tightens for a mere second before she pulls back , cradling koshiro's face in both hands & brushing her thumbs against the tears that stained his cheek . she looks koshiro directly into matching eyes , the worry on her expression intense . " koshiro , what did he do to you ? " she spoke slowly , every word falling off her tongue sternly but her gaze still comforting , letting him know that she will believe any word that comes from him .

koshiro puts one hand on top of his mother's , sniffling as he takes in another breath & finds his voice . he can't go back now - he can't go back to their happy little life where his mom was deeply in love with someone that made her happy , & koshiro could pretend nothing ever happened for her sake . ❝ he.... when you were still a secretary for that realty company.... & you were late one night , ❞ he starts , unable to maintain eye contact & taking multiple pauses to catch his breath between words .

that was so long ago , she thinks . koshiro was around 7 or 8 years old when she worked there . but instead of commenting , she lets him continue at his own pace . ❝ he got really drunk - ❞ the stress on the word ' really ' was strong , leaving his mother's brows to knit tightly . he told her he didn't drink was her next thought - again , a thought kept to herself in order to hear the rest of the story .

he swallows hard . ❝ i t-tried to talk to him , & he just.... ❞ koshiro's composure was starting to falter , the tears falling quicker & body trembling at the memory . he felt sick , he doesn't want to continue - but his mother needed to know everything . she needed to know the worst part of the story . her warm hands rubbed at his neck & shoulders , shaking her head as a silent way of telling him to take his time .

koshiro's voice grew more panicked , sobbing a bit louder . ❝ he took everything off , mom . i just - ❞ his story ended there as he divulged into sobs against his mother's shoulder . tears started forming in her eyes , too - because he didn't need to finish that story for her to put the pieces together . her embrace around her son is tight & protective , apologetic even .

" oh my god , koshiro , " she sobbed right back . " koshiro , i'm sorry , i'm so sorry - " she whispers into his hair . in that moment , she felt like the scum of the earth . the worst mother on the planet . she preached for years about doing everything she could for her son , & something like that happened right before her eyes , kept a secret for nearly 15 years . & she never knew . she never suspected anything . what kind of mother can't tell that something so awful happened to her own child . from someone she thought loved him like their own . that man .

" that motherfucker , " she seethed , catching koshiro off-guard , who can't remember if he's ever even heard his mother cuss . " koshiro , i'm so sorry you thought you had to keep this from me . baby , please look at me , " she begs , placing those same comforting hands to either side of his face & pressing her lips to his forehead before their gazes met . " i should have been better , " his mother claims . koshiro merely shakes his head , because he knows how bad he is with telling people things .

the woman wants to ask him why he kept this from her for so long , wants to ask why he felt like he couldn't tell her - but she doesn't want to ask him now . she doesn't want to seem like she's blaming him for anything , because she knows not a damn thing was koshiro's fault . if anything , she had blame to take responsibility for , she was the one who brought that man into their lives & he got away with murder . it hurt , feeling betrayed by a man she thought she loved . who she thought loved her son . but her own tears are fueled by her anger for that man .

" koshiro , tomorrow morning , throw all of your things back into your bag . we're gonna take the train to chiba & visit your grandparents for a bit . "

koshiro leans back from his mother's embrace , his tear-stained expression confused . because from what he understood , he was going to go back to campus tomorrow afternoon . ❝ wait.... why ? ❞ he asks , his voice still unsteady .

" i'm leaving your step-father , " she declares harshly , expression bitter at the thought of that man entering their home again . she wants to burn his belongings , kick him out & tell him to never come back . file for divorce right that second . but it would be more complicated than that , & she wanted to be able to keep her son safe . this wasn't information she could simply hear & let her son wander back to university as if everything was okay . she wants to help him in the way she wishes she could have years ago . " honey , i'm so sorry to ask this.... can you drop the rest of this semester & comeback home for a bit ? just a semester . just one semester , & you can go back next fall . please.... stay with your mother . " every word divulged into a desperate whisper , desperate to make things right , desperate to fix as much as she could . to do everything she could for her son .

all of this was happening so fast , a part of him regrets every bringing up the situation with his mother . he feels like he broke their marriage , like he was the one who messed everything up . but when he looks into his mother's eyes , that flowed with tears of their own , she smiled at him . & he realizes that she still looks the same way she did when he was a little kid . koshiro nods . ❝ okay . ❞

he'll text his friends in the morning & tell them not to wait for him at the train station .

#** ( koshiro ) .#csa tw #rape mention tw

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mon-dayragingslut4monstaxday6 · 5 years ago

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Strawberry Kisses: The Night Before

Marcy’s roommate, who is dating Sungjin, takes her to a get together with Day6. There, she’s informed that someone in the group likes her, but she couldn’t depict who.

A/N: I could write this forever, I love Marcy and the boys. I’m in the process of making Part 3 (currently unnamed), but will not be posted as quickly as Part 1 and 2 (but it’s my goal). Also, low-key had my own housemate be the inspiration for Marcy’s roommate (because she’s a trip and I adore her).

Warnings/Themes: This is more plot and fluff than smut, but does have some spice. Heavy petting, dry humping, some dirty talk, praise, marking (overall pretty light compared to the last chapter)

Word Count: 5.1k

I have nothing to be worried about. My best friend, Seo Yeon, or So-Yo, is taking me to a party at her boy-toy’s place. She’s been seeing this guy who’s a leader of a Korean rock band that is currently stationed in the states, don’t ask me how, she can’t even explain. I met this guy a couple times, as well as his bandmates and they’re pretty great. Their music is phenomenal and their personalities are outrageously fun. Her boyfriend, Sungjin, may be goofy, but he has a good head on his shoulders and is gradually making So-Yo a better person. Not saying she was a bad person, but she’s becoming a happier and healthier version of herself. Overall, he’s someone she needed and I cannot be more grateful for her relationship with him.

The others, on the other hand are all eligible bachelors and So-Yo wants to set me up with one of them so bad. Sungjin wants to stay out of it, but that’s because he knows something, but won’t tell me what it is. So-Yo thinks it’s because some of the members might like me more than they lead on.

Like I said, I only met the whole group a couple of times and I treasure every single one, so if the choice was mine, I don’t know who I would pick. They all gave me their numbers, but the other guitarist, Jae, texts me the most, but it’s mostly exchanging memes. The bassist, Brian or Younghyun, who has the stage name Young K, but no one calls him that, is by far the prettiest boy, and he is quite the gentleman to me, but he’s still kind of shy. The keyboardist, Wonpil, is an absolute sweetheart and always finds a way to make me smile, but at first, he was too timid to even look at me without blushing. Lastly, the drummer, Dowoon, still struggles with his English, but the last time I saw him, I helped him out a bit and he’s such a goof ball it was hard to concentrate.

Tonight, could make things different. So-Yo encouraged me to bring my swimsuit, in case we want to take a dip in the pool at their place. I chose to wear something slightly out of my comfort zone: a black lacey romper that could easily pass as lingerie. Instead of my usual jeans and a t-shirt. I didn’t intend on wearing something different, but So-Yo encouraged me to show some of my wild side that we missed so much.

I keep bugging So-Yo to tell me who likes me, the curiosity is giving me nostalgia to high school. She won’t tell me, because she doesn’t know for sure, but she knows Sungjin does. I ask her to butter him up so he could tell her, but sadly he’s not that dumb to fall for that.

We head over to their place. I’m extra nervous to go, not only because I’m wearing something different, but one or more of the four bandmates likes me. Holy shit, what if all of them like me? I’d like to think I’m a delight, but it would make sense on some of them. Wonpil is a blushing/smiling buffoon, Dowoon is super silly shy boy, Brian is a suave mysterious man and Jae is a humorous dork. I pull out my compact mirror to check out my makeup. I went with a nearly bare face, due to us probably going swimming. Of course, I put on waterproof mascara, but I still wanted to look a bit “natural”.

“You look fine”, So-Yo compliments me as we walk down the hallway to their front door.

“Fine might not do it. I’m solving the mystery on who likes me, if any, till it kills me”, I groan. I stuff my compact in my little backpack, between my extra pair of panties and my swimsuit.

“I mean, they all like you, Marcy, but if any of them like you? I already told you, I don’t know, but I have a strong guess who does”, she shrugs.

“Who?”, I whisper.

“I can’t confirm anything, it won’t be fair to the guy. I could be wrong”, she slaps my arm.

“But tell me who you think?”, I beg. So-Yo knocks on the door.

“I’m not telling you shit, because I love you and I love these boys. Would I love for you and one of my boys to be together? Hell yes, but I can’t tell you who to choose”, she whispers. Tell me who to choose? So, does everyone like me then? Sungjin answers the door and welcomes us with big warm hugs. He’s definitely a teddy bear. I hear Jae in the kitchen shout for us. We all head to the kitchen, where we’re summoned, and see all of the guys leaning against the counters/appliances. They obviously had some drinks before we got there.

“We’re starting with some shots. We all need some time to chillax”, Jae welcomes us with some shots of clear liquid, probably vodka.

“Shots? Oh shit, you guys haven’t seen Wild CC yet”, So-Yo laughs before accepting the shot. The boys are intrigued.

“There’s a Wild CC?”, Brian chuckles before sipping out of his red solo cup. So-Yo nudges my arm.

“It’s been a long time since she’s seen Wild CC, but I still got it in me”, I bashfully accept the shot glass.

“Do you?”, she squints her eyes at me. Jae gasps. I scrunch my nose, pouting and take the shot like a champ. The shot was definitely not vodka. If there is one thing So-Yo and I bond over, it’s bets. The boys cheer for me as Jae pours me another one.

“Get it, C!”, Dowoon cheers. He calls me C, because it was difficult for him to say my name, so he gave me the nickname “C”. Jae tends to call me Mars, Brian calls me Marcy or my full name, Marcella, while Wonpil and Sungjin also call me Marcy.

“Did you eat before coming?”, Sungjin asks, being the dad of the group. So-Yo whispers to him. He exits the room, slightly worried.

“He’s going to order some food. Go meet your bachelors”, she whispers to me before taking her shot and following Sungjin, taking our bags with her. Now, I’m left alone with four beautiful Korean men.

“Am I going to take shots alone?”, I incite a group shot. The boys lift up their shots.

“May friendships never die, work hard play hard, hugs not drugs”, I toast before tapping my shot to the counter and shooting it back. They all laugh from my toast. At least I get them to laugh. The shots are getting tougher to take, but dammit, this is helping my nerves.

“Another”, I tap my glass to the counter, asking for a refill.

“One more, then you’re taking a break”, Brian puts his hand on my back, concern in his voice. I inhale sharply. He’s hugged me before, but his hand is touching my exposed back, his fingertips burning against my skin.

“Of course”, I smile at him. We all prep for another shot.

“May the memes be dank, music be fresh, and sex be mind blowing”, I pull straight out of my ass, avoiding eye contact with all of the boys. They are taken by surprise over the sex portion of my toast. I take my shot and look at them. I shrug my shoulders and they take their shots. So-Yo comes back to the kitchen.

“Holy shit, how many did you guys take?”, she questions.

“I’m on my third”, I give her the sign for three, so far not feeling any effect.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, but let’s sit down before it hits you all at once”, she gestures for me to exit the kitchen. I follow her out of the kitchen and straight to the living room.

“So, I got some tea from Sungjin”, she whispers. Shit, so that’s why she pulled me out of the kitchen!

“Like what?”, I silently squeal.

“So, they all really dig you, don’t worry about that, but he definitely knows of two of them who were bickering earlier about which one you like more”, she confesses.

“Which one I like more?”, I point to myself. She nods and sits me down on the couch.

“I don’t even know which one I like more”, I mumble to myself.

“Come on, there has to be one of them you like more”, she scoffs at me.

“Sort out the pros and cons and I’ll go grab us some snacks”, she blows me a kiss before heading back to the kitchen. I hear her chat with the boys in Korean. That sneaky bitch, I love her. Pros and cons for the boys? Well Younghyun/Brian is stunning, always finds the right things to say, and looks out for me, just like a minute ago. Cons? He can be pretty uptight, can’t read his face, and is almost too pretty to be single, if that is a con. Jae is funny, extra, adorable, and is always down for something stupid. Cons, he might be a little too extra, a little too loud, and I have yet to see his serious side more than once. Wonpil is a sweetheart, looks good in any outfit, and is lowkey teaching me piano. Cons, he is still too shy around me. Dowoon is goofy, has the best facial expressions, always finds a way to make me smile. Cons, is still too shy around me, similar to Wonpil, and his English is very beginner so it would be difficult to communicate with him at first.

I hear my name within their conversation in the kitchen. I peak my head in.

“Talking shit?”, I spook So-Yo.

“No, I was just telling them about your progress in grad school”, she pulls out of her ass. They all give me a round of applause. I squint my eyes at her. She gives me a little wink.

“Bullshit she told you, but thank you guys”, I thank them while I do a botched curtsy.

“To break the ice and to get to know each other. Let’s play a game of truth or lie”, So-Yo changes directions, showing her inner camp counselor.

“It’s where someone in the room says something about themselves or something that has happened, could be true or made up, hence the name. The rest of the group has to guess if it’s true or a lie. If everyone gets the answer right, the person telling the truth or lie has to drink. If the group splits answers, whoever is wrong drinks. It’s simple”, So-Yo explains the game then translates in Korean. They all seem pretty excited to play. We all crowd the counter to make ourselves some mixed drinks to use for the game. We all stand in a circle in the kitchen with our drinks. I wanted to stand next to So-Yo and Sungjin, but she low-key puts me in between Jae and Brian while she stands on the other side of the circle. They are both so fucking tall compared to me, I’m feeling intimidated.

“Since I suggested the game, I’ll go first. Marcy is the first friend I made in the US. Truth or lie”, So-Yo starts off the game. Nearly everyone says truth, except for me and Jae. It was a lie, I was the second friend she made in the US, but our friendship is the longest. The losers take a swig of their drinks. We go along a circle for more truth or lie.

“The longest sleep I ever had was fifteen hours. Truth or lie”, Sungjin contemplates. We all say lie, which was correct. He laughs and says he never counted the longest sleep he ever had and takes a big gulp of his drink.

I keep my eyes on So-Yo to avoid looking at the boys. Brian nudges my arm.

“Are you ok?”, he worries. My grip on the cup tightens. I nod. He puts his hand on my back again, this time his fingertips feel like ice against skin.

“Don’t tense up, we’re all friends here”, he mouths. I hold the cup up to my face to hide my blushing cheeks. He flashes a smile at me.

“You’re cute when you’re shy”, he whispers before putting his hand in his pocket. Say what? Did I hear him correctly! It gets to my turn and so far I learned that Wonpil can’t lie to save his life, reminds me of myself, while Brian can lie through his teeth, proving my theory of him being mysterious.

“Marcy, truth or lie”, So-Yo purses her lips. All eyes are on me.

“What could I say?”, I try to gain inspiration.

“Be bold! Bet you won’t say something crazy”, So-Yo raises an eyebrow. Bitch knows how to get me. Everyone ooo’s at me, acknowledging the challenge.

“Fine, I’ll go bold”, I mumble.

“I play your songs as background noise while I masturbate. Truth or lie”, I shrug. So-Yo falls to her knees laughing. That bitch knows it’s true. There are mixed reactions around the room. Wonpil is blushing more than me, nearly turning as red as our cups. Dowoon didn’t understand the question so Jae explained it to him in Korean, resulting in him taking a huge gulp of his drink. Brian taps his leg nervously. Jae squints at me, trying to see through my poker face. Jokes on him, I can’t lie to save my life and today they’re going to learn that. Sungjin just does his iconic “what the fuck did I just hear” look at So-Yo, who is still on the floor laughing, this time nearly crying.

“Is it the truth or is it a lie?”, I ask the room.

“Which songs?”, Jae incites more information.

“Which songs I play? Well, Shoot Me, Time of Our Life, Dance Dance, I Wait, How Can I Say, Chocolate, I can say more if you want”, I list.

“Oh, it’s definitely a lie, you can’t masturbate to those songs”, Jae shakes his head.

“I didn’t say I masturbate to those songs, I play those songs in the background”, I explain.

“Dowoon?”, I ask for his answer.

“Truth”, he hesitates.

“I’m saving you for last, everyone is just going to copy you”, I point to So-Yo.

“Sungjin?”, I gesture to the sweet teddy bear who desperately wants to give me the disappointed dad face.

“Lie”, he shakes his head, sipping his drink.

“Lie”, Wonpil avoids eye contact with me. That poor boy must be dying of embarrassment. I guess he doesn’t want to accept that I listen to his singing while I pleasure myself. Oh well.

“Brian?”, I twiddle my thumbs.

“Lie”, he smirks at me. Sucker.

“So-Yo, what is it, truth or lie?”, I point to my best girl.

“It’s the fucking truth! Drink up!”, So-Yo cheers. Everyone exclaims their non-belief.

“She’s my roommate, you don’t think I won’t notice that shit? Let’s just say, she’s not quiet”, she teases before sipping her drink. I gasp. Jae and Brian look at me, wondering what I’m going to say next.

Realizing I completely embarrassed myself, I scurry out of the room. I should just go. I lost my chance, I should’ve just stayed home. I fight the urge to cry as I run to the bathroom. My hands grip onto the sink, having water run to fade out the noises of me almost crying. The more I think about it, the worse it gets. I didn’t realize how tipsy I am till I look at my hands and notice how much I’m swaying. I should just go home and sleep, forget this night happened.

I hear a knock on the door. I fan myself to dry any tears.

“Yes?”, I ask, hoping my voice didn’t crack. The door creaks open.

“Marcy. It’s just me”, Brian whispers. I turn my back to him.

“I could be peeing, what the fuck”, I laugh, wiping tears off my cheek. Brian closes the door behind him.

“I learned that you can’t lie. Also, you would’ve actually yelled at me if you were”, he laughs before hugging me from behind. His arms wrapped around me makes me feel so secure and safe.

“Talk to me”, Brian whispers, putting his head on my shoulder.

“Did I fuck myself up by telling you guys about the thing?”, I hesitate.

“Don’t overthink it. It’s flattering, actually”, he chuckles. Thinking of him taking this as a compliment makes me giggle. Of course, out of all people, confident Brian would take this differently. Or he’s just saying this to make me smile.

“Let’s go swimming. We all need to cool off”, he squeezes me tighter. I grab his forearm and rub my thumb against his skin.

“Thank you”, I whisper. His heartbeat pounds against my back.

“We’re all friends here”, he mumbles. He kisses my head and storms out of the bathroom. First, he puts his hand on my back, calls me cute, comforts me in the bathroom, and now he kisses my head! I may be a dumb bitch, but I’m not that dumb.

Where did So-Yo put my bag? I peak my head out of the door, hoping to see it close by. I notice Sungjin and So-Yo sitting in the couch, giving each other googly eyes, already dressed in their swimsuits. Gross, but I love them so much. I find my bag by the corner of the hallway where the bathroom is. I manage to snag it without being noticed.

I change into my swimsuit, feeling more vulnerable. Stepping out of the bathroom, I’m welcomed by So-Yo.

“I got more tea”, she whispers. I’m all here for the tea!

“I know the two who were bickering”, she recalls the conversation from earlier.

“One of them has to be Brian, we just had a moment in the bathroom”, I gesture a hug.

“Oh”, So-Yo eyes widen. Oh?! Is one of them not Brian?!

“Do you like Brian?”, she mouths. I blush.

“Maybe I do?”, I shrug.

“That’s a yes”, she smiles at me.

“Why, who’s the other person?”, I slightly panic.

“You really haven’t noticed the way Jae looks at you?”, she expresses her shook face. I grab the door frame beside me.

“What?!”, I exclaim.

Sungjin walks in and gathers us to join the rest of the group at the front door. Brian raises his eyebrows, seeing me in my bikini for the first time. Wonpil’s eyes widen. Jae does a little shuffle in place, trying not to look at me. Looking at these boys in their swim shorts makes me want to audibly whine “why the fuck are you all so pretty?!”. Why the fuck do they all look so good? To stop myself from staring, I keep my eyes on So-Yo. Sungjin hands So-Yo and I some towels and leads all of us to the pool on the roof. I leave my phone to charge, also to not get it wet.

It’s Jae and Brian that like me? No fucking way. Brian is at least flirty, Jae hasn’t shown any sign of him liking me. Oh shit. I forgot about the late night texting of random shit, shower thoughts type of dumb topics. I am truly a dumb bitch.

We get to the pool and it’s deserted. Jae swoops me in his arms and carries me to the edge of the pool.

“Jae!”, I squeal, terrified of him dropping me.

“I’m not going to drop you”, he cackles.

“Good”, I huff.

“I’m taking both of us in”, he shouts before jumping into the pool. I splash at him when we get to the surface. Everyone joins in on their own. Brian giving an expressionless face. Oh no, does he think I like Jae? Wait, do I like Jae? I swim to So-Yo. I try to be quiet enough for Sungjin to not notice.

“What do you mean by the way he looks at me?”, I whisper.

“He looks at you like you two are in a fucking Disney film”, she scoffs.

“Do you like him?”, she continues.

“I don’t know” I mumble.

“You’re still wondering who likes you?”, Sungjin chuckles. I shush him, trying to not catch the others attention.

“She knows it’s Brian and Jae. She can’t pick which one she likes”, So-Yo informs him. He gives me his “I really want to give you advice” look.

“It’s ok if you don’t know right away. When you know, you just have to talk to them”, he shrugs. I groan.

“That’s the hard part”, I mouth.

“Take each of them out on a date. See who you like more”, she suggests. This is getting overwhelming.

“A date?”, I exhale. I hear Brian call for me from a distance. So-Yo nods at me while I swim to the direction of his voice. Brian is sitting at the shallow end with the rest of the guys.

“We want to get to know you some more”, Jae grins at me. Oh Lord, they know I masturbate with their songs playing in the background and they still want to know me? Fuck. Maybe I am a delight.

“What do you want to know?”, I nervously rub my hands together.

“What was the weirdest nickname you ever had?”, Jae takes over with the questions.

“Weirdest nickname. I don’t know what would be considered weird”, I wonder.

“Tell them about Strawberry!”, So-Yo shouts, slowly swimming her way to us.

“Strawberry?”, Wonpil asks.

“Oh, goodness”, I laugh, hiding my face.

“Tell us about Strawberry”, Brian looks at me, eager to know.

“So, when I was really little, I really liked this boy. Probably my first crush. One day, he confronted me about my crush because his friends were teasing him about it. I was blushing so hard that my face was all pink, and back then, my freckles were more noticeable, so the boy told me I looked like a strawberry. Some kids overheard and proceeded to call me Strawberry. The name stuck all throughout my school years, it fucking sucked but looking back at it now, it’s cute. I don’t mind it anymore”, I share. Everyone was all awing my story.

Sungjin runs out of the pool and rushes downstairs. So-Yo reminded him about our food, that’s why. He gets back to the roof and tells us food is ready. We all groan about leaving the pool so early, but there’s food, we can’t complain too much.

We go back to the apartment and stuff our faces with food, sobering up pretty quickly. We exchange some stories, some laughs. So-Yo turns on a movie to keep us occupied till we get tired.

Sungjin was nice enough to tell us we’re staying the night, there was no way we were going to go back home in our condition. Brian offers his bed for me, saying he’ll take the couch. What a gentleman.

After the movie, it’s time for all of us to go get some sleep. Dowoon stays up to play some video games. Wonpil gives me a hug goodnight, which is shocking, and heads to his room. Sungjin and So-Yo head to his room, waving good-bye, while So-Yo gives me a wink. Jae hands me my phone that I nearly forgot about, for once.

“Night, Strawberry”, he sticks out his tongue. I pretend to hit him with my phone. He dramatically flails in pain as he goes to his room. Then there’s just Brian and I. He escorts me to his room. He digs around his closet and tosses me a t-shirt.

“It’s good to sleep comfortably”, he smiles. I look at the shirt, loving the material. It’s a simple white tee but the material is soft and smells beautiful. I grab my bag and pull out my extra panties so I won’t have to wear dirty underwear to bed. Brian notices the panties and blushes. I don’t recall him ever being flustered.

“Thank you so much for tonight. We should do this more often”, I sigh.

“We should. Sweet dreams, Marcy”, he bows his head and leaves his room, giving me privacy to change. I strip out of my swimsuit and into this heavenly shirt and clean panties. Fuck, I love this shirt. I take a whiff of the scent and holy shit I’m swooning. It smells like his cologne, but also smells clean, basically smells like boy.

I crawl into bed, absorbing myself in his soft sheets. I imagine him sleeping in this bed and it brings butterflies to my stomach. I hear a knock on the door.

“It’s your girl”, So-Yo whispers before opening the door. I wrap myself like a burrito.

“You’re loving his bed without him in it? That’s sad”, she cackles. I shush her to keep quiet.

“I can call him in, he’ll be happy to be here seeing you be a caterpillar”, she giggles.

“Do it, you won’t”, I groan at her before I spread out the blanket. I turn off the light so I can actually sleep. So-Yo didn’t close the door, that monster. Whatever, I’ll sleep through it. I roll around to find the best position to sleep.

There’s another knock on my door. I grunt to show a lack of interest in talking. I didn’t hear anything afterwards, it must’ve been my imagination. I feel a dip in the mattress.

“It’s just me”, Brian whispers, scaring the shit out of me. I flip over and see him perfectly from the moonlight glistening him.

“Holy shit, she did call you in”, I mumble. He chuckles under his breath.

“May I?”, he lightly tugs on the blanket. Don’t have to ask me twice! I flip open the blanket for him to crawl inside.

“Can we snuggle? You can say no”, I test the waters.

“You don’t have to ask”, he cackles before taking me in his arms. Fuck, I really needed this. In this snuggle party: I’m on my side, facing him, while he lays on his back, one arm supporting my head and the other is wrapped around my waist. Out of impulse, I put my leg against his, almost putting it between them. My silky smooth leg low-key rubs against his leg hair. Wait, is he wearing just his underwear? Dare I check?

“Are you just wearing your underwear?”, I mumble.

“Shorts”, he whispers.

“Are you wearing just your underwear?”, he turns the direction to me. His heart is nearly pounding out of his chest. It’s interesting that he gives off his confident exterior, but his heartbeat says otherwise.

“We’re not talking about me here”, I tease. He combs his fingers through my hair.

“Thank you for being comfortable with me”, he whispers. His voice is different. Not the cute, handsome voice that I’m used to. This voice is deeper, solem almost. My hands were wrapped around myself to be a little mummy, but I slowly unraveled to place one hand on his chest and the other rubbing my knuckles on his cheek. How am I nervous around you, but am still so comfortable? I can still see him perfectly from the illumination of the moonlight. He’s even more handsome than I could imagine.

“Brian”, I hesitate. He turns his head and gives me a peck on the lips. I lay there speechless over him taking the plunge that I was going to do.

“You do look like a strawberry when you blush like that”, he scrunches his face. I grab his face and kiss him back. He pulls me by the waist to get on top of him. I sit on his lap, loving the loose clothing keeping us from touching skin to skin. I continue kissing him, slowly rolling my hips. He grabs my hips and guides me to a perfect rhythm. His dick gets hard in seconds, teasing me from how close it is to me.

“Oh, fuck”, he moans.

“You feel so good”, he whispers.

“Do I?”, I tease. I put my hand under my crotch to palm him through his shorts. His moans turn into a raspy growl. He flips me over so that I’m on my back, having him hover above me. His hand goes straight to my folds, his index finger doing a long strip along me. I groan from the contact. His mouth latches to my neck, ferociously kissing and sucking, as if he’s hungry for this. His heavy petting is making me weak. I continue to palm him, feeling his dick twitch from my contact.

“You’re already so wet for me. Fuck”, he moans against my skin.

“Brian, please”, I manage to speak.

“Tell me what you want, baby”, his voice deepens.

“I want you”, I whine. He bites down on my neck, definitely going to leave a visible mark that will be noticeable in the morning. He slams his clothed dick on me, rubbing himself against my wet panties.

“How do you want me?”, he continues. His pace quickens.

“I want you inside of me”, I moan in his ear. He groans and pulls himself away from me entirely, sitting beside me with his knees to his chest.

“No, not like this”, he brushes his hair back, wiping the sweat off his forehead. I sit up and nudge his arm.

“What’s wrong?”, I mumble, trying to keep my composure.

“You’re my friend. Friends don’t do this”, he pants.

“Brian”, I grab his hand.

“I just need some time. I know I like you, I like you so much, I just need some time to know if I want a relationship yet”, he confesses. I’m still compiling what the fuck just happened, but I’m flexible.

“I understand”, I smile. He’s very open with me about his past relationships, which I am very thankful for.

“If you don’t want to wait, I understand”, Brian starts to ramble. I never saw him like this, collapsing. He always looked to have his shit together, but seeing him this way, being human who can break, is cleansing. I squeeze his hand to get his attention.

“Let’s just get some sleep. We can talk about this later, alright?”, I suggest. He nods and lays back down.

“Would you still want to cuddle?”, he murmurs. I get all snuggly in his arms.

“You don’t have to ask”, quoting him from earlier.

“We have a small concert tomorrow night if you want to come. We snagged a ticket in case you weren’t busy”, he invites. I bury my face in his chest.

“I’d love to finally see you perform live”, I scrunch my face.

“Perfect”, he chuckles before getting into a deep sleep.

There’s no fucking way So-Yo is going to believe this shit. No, no, I shouldn’t tell her, not till him and I talk for real about what’s going to happen with us.

He looks like such an angel, doesn’t even snore. I hope we can move on from this, my feelings for him become even more clear, reflecting on how he was with me earlier tonight and just now. I wonder what he has in mind for our conversation.

#day6 smut #day6 fluff #day6 fanfic

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novantinuum · 5 years ago

Text

Crack the Paragon, Chapter 9

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 7.2K~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which a diamond is a girl’s best friend.

You can find the first/previous chapter and AO3 links in the reblogs! (I have to omit them from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos on AO3 as well.

Chapter warning: There is a fairly in-depth depiction of a dissociative flashback. Nothing I'd consider particularly extreme or deserving of a ratings bump, but I figured it'd be courteous to make a specific warning for it anyways.

Chapter 9: Symmetry

On literally any other day, folding laundry would be relaxing.

There’s something comforting about falling back into predictable rhythms, hands running on automatic through assorted piles of clothes as her thoughts take a wandering vacation. Chores are boring, sure, but compared to the non-stop drive of the rest of her life Connie can at least appreciate how mindless they are. In a world filled with things like honors algebra and violin recitals and sword training, falling into the arms of subconscious repetition every once in a while feels nice, like a much needed mental break from the rest of reality.

The only problem is exactly that: it’s mindless. It doesn’t force her to use an ounce of brainpower. It doesn’t block her thoughts from waltzing down dark alleyways, or taking sharp swerves into territory unknown. It doesn’t distract her from obsessively checking her phone every other minute to see if she’s gotten any new calls or texts.

It doesn’t stop her from worrying about Steven.

Normally steady fingers twitch as she folds a sock inside its proper pair. Her pocket nearly feels like it’s burning. Groaning, she tosses the pair into her suitcase and pulls her phone out. The lock screen illuminates, showcasing a photo of a pretty sunset she took from the hill above the temple. Her mouth tightens. Once again, nothing. Giving in to the distraction, she unlocks her phone and taps to reach his latest message. Tired eyes gloss over his photo and those words for the thousandth time.

Accidentally got separated from gem—

I’ll call later, some kinda scary stuff happened—

Please don’t worry too much.

Well, too late for that. She’s not fooled by his blasé, chipper attitude in this text, or the forced grin of the concerningly pale-faced Steven (one of two! How can he claim he’s fine when he’s literally lost a part of himself??) at the forefront of the photo he sent. No, no. She won’t be convinced until she audibly hears it or can throw her arms around him in person, which is harder said than done when he hasn’t returned her calls and Mom won’t let her take the bus over to his place for the morning because she’s supposed to be “packing.” Ugh. As far as she’s concerned, visiting extended family in India can wait its turn. Something terribly wrong must have happened in Beach City last night, and the suspense of not knowing is nearly suffocating her.

But logically, she knows worrying about it nonstop won’t be of help to her or Steven. He’ll call when he calls. She just hopes it’s before she leaves the country. Her dad's a bit of a tightwad when it comes to the idea of upgrading to international call and text, to her chagrin. If she’s honest, it’s the one part of this trip she dreads— having zero contact with her best friend for a week.

Connie hastily breathes in and out, attempting to forcefully will the stress to dissipate. Let it go. Stop thinking about it. She gently tosses her phone on her bed where she can’t reach it, and pushes herself back into the dependable rhythm of laundry folding.

Licking her chapped lips as she works through the pile of newly clean clothes, she folds the turquoise colored silk choli bodice her mom arranged for a relative to hand weave for her on her last birthday and carefully places it with its matching saree. The decorative border running the length of the saree is embroidered with little flowers and swirls in gold thread. Connie smiles faintly, reverently running her hand across the smooth fabric. She’ll be wearing her typical shorts, overalls, and blouses for most of this trip, but she’s super excited to have the perfect excuse to bring this outfit out of her closet for once. It always makes her feel beautiful, with her hair pinned back and the saree draped around her, but she still can’t help but fear she’s ridiculously overdressed whenever she wears it anywhere outside of family events. A shame. Maybe she’ll build the courage to wear it one day when she goes to Steven’s house for sword practice. She’ll change into her usual training clothes during the practice itself, of course— she can’t risk tearing silk or restricting her movement— but it’d be cool to share a piece of her own family’s culture with him like that. Her cheeks heat up as she imagines his reaction. He’ll probably think it’s pretty. Pearl, too. Her teacher definitely has a flair for artistry, after all.

...but of course, that’s assuming Steven and the Gems are okay.

Her previously giddy thoughts wane like a withering petal. Sitting with her legs criss crossed on her bedroom floor, she hunches over with a heavy sigh, propping her chin into her hands. How long is this morning going to last?

Muffled amidst the cocoon of thick blankets adorning her bed, her phone’s ringer picks that very moment to blare into existence. Her nerves electrify in an instant, though whether that’s more a symptom of surprise or anticipation is anyone’s guess. Chest pounding, she shoots to her feet and scrambles across the room to pick it up. She sighs a breath of relief as her eyes skim over the caller ID. It’s him. And he wants to video chat! Without thinking twice she jabs her thumb against the screen to answer.

A handful of seconds pass as her phone attempts to connect over her family’s spotty wi-fi, heart twisting painfully in her throat as she steels herself for whatever potentially bad update about her friend’s life she’s about to receive, but then—

The video pushes through, and her friend appears on the screen. His hair is notably mussed, (more so than usual, that is), with wild curly locks sticking up from his head at weird angles.

“Mornin’, Connie,” he says, exhaustion evident on his face but besides that, appearing physically well. There’s actually color in his cheeks for one thing, unlike in the photo he sent before dawn.

“Steven!” she exclaims, subconsciously gripping the sides of her phone tighter in the absence of an actual hug. “You’re okay!”

“More or less,” he says in confirmation, the corner of his mouth turning up for a glimmer of a second. His expression quickly becomes tinted in shades of remorse, however, his voice on the brink of cracking. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t call back earlier! My phone died on me, and then I forgot to plug it in, and then I got distracted by a bunch of crazy family stuff, and that’s probably not a good excuse, but—“

She tries to feed him a reassuring smile, pushing down the blatant depth of her worry for his sake.

“Hey, don’t fuss about it. It happens. And anyways, you’re here now, right? So all that doesn’t even matter anymore.”

Her friend deals her a noncommittal shrug in response, and slouches against the rough hewn stone she’s only now noticing in the background. If she has to guess, he’s sitting on the beach, leaning against the sheer cliff walls where they first met almost two years earlier. Interesting, she muses, her brow furrowing. Usually when they do video calls Steven makes a point to stay in his house because he gets better reception there. On top of that, there’s an undeniable melancholy brewing within his eyes that would be amiss to ignore. He’s not even trying to mask it for once, which speaks volumes in and of itself about how heavy a burden it’s become, whatever it is that’s bothering him. Geeze, what on Earth happened over there last night?

“So, your gem,” she starts, edging towards the topic carefully. “Are you still—?”

He shakes his head, seemingly already catching on to what she’s gonna ask. “Nah, we’re together again! Turns out I can still fuse even without without him.”

“Hmm, I—“ Connie pauses, mind fixating for a second on the specific way he referred to his gem half, ascribing an undeniable sense of individuality to him— “well, I’m super glad you figured that out. But I still don’t understand, how can you get separated from your gem in the first place?”

“It’s, uh- a pretty complicated story, fair warning.”

“Pshhh, that’s no problem, I’ve got all morning,” she says, and props her phone against her bedpost so she can continue packing while listening. Freed once more, her hands seek out more unpaired socks to join.

“Only if you’re good with it, then.” The boy sighs deeply as he begins to prepare his words. The infamous drama zone kicking in, he lets his head lull backwards at gravity’s command against the cliffside’s face. She can’t help but cringe at the audible smack of his skull against smooth rock. “Ow!” he whines, immediately jerking forwards again. He rubs the back of his head in clear disbelief, softly laughing at his own folly. “Well, that was a pretty dumb idea.”

“Not gonna disagree,” she says with a giggle, glancing between her clothes and the screen in intervals as she folds. “Now, tell me everything. From the beginning. I still gotta pack, but I’m listening, I promise.”

A soft smile brightens his face, sunlight glinting off his dark brown irises. It’s enough to capture her stare, to make everything else in the world freeze to a stop. Just for one magic moment. Her heart almost flip flops at the gentle way he gazes at her, his eyes filled with a shy reverence that honestly, speaks volumes to his nature as a person. Because while he’s grown undeniably strong as a half-Gem, he’s far more than that. He's kind. He’s sensitive, and caring. So, so caring. More than anything else he tries his hardest to be extra empathetic about the needs of others around him, and she adores this about him, she truly does. Her only wish is that he could be this receptive about his own needs all the time, too. With her firsthand knowledge of the stressful stuff he and the other Gems deal with on a weekly basis, she can’t help but worry sometimes.

He breathes in, chest rising and falling as he prepares to tell his story. “Okay. So it all started yesterday morning when I was playing video games with the Gems…”

______

“—and then that’s when I figured out I could still fuse, right after I texted you. So we did, and- and well, that’s pretty much it,” Steven finishes with a bit of a waver in his voice, absentmindedly twirling his finger around a short curl at the nape of his neck as he adjusts his grip on the phone with his other hand.

With his story more or less complete, barring a few recent occurrences he’s hesitant to speak of right now, he pays careful attention to the minute fluctuations of Connie’s expression as everything he’s told her sinks in.

(He intentionally left out some of the more intimate bits, of course— like softly crying himself to sleep before Dad warped back, or having a near breakdown on the beach, or his conversation with half of himself. Some moments simply aren’t for others to know.)

Her voice wavers as she finally makes to respond. “Wow, that’s… a lot.”

“Yeah. And like, I wanna believe it’s over now, but everyone’s still acting so weird.”

“Mmm, and then there’s everything about your mom, and Pink Diamond…” She balls her hand against her mouth as she mulls over this information, her sobered glance shifting from him to some unspecified point in her bedroom.

And at seeing the subtle aversion of her gaze, he frets for a second. He squirms in the seat of the cold metal chair he’s made his temporary home in, toes curling inwards much like the creeping dread that’s trying to inch its way ever further into his heart, stifling any last hope of peace or calm. Replacing it with fear. Like, what if his real talk is too real? Too honest? What if he’s freaked her out, or overloaded her with the sheer weight of everything that’s happened to him, what if she’ll wanna keep her distance from him because of all this, what if—

“I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this,” she says softly, slashing the cord that’s restraining him within his frantic thoughts.

His shoulders relax, tension fading.

“I- is there anything I can do?” his friend continues. “To help, I mean?”

“Nah, don’t think so. Not right now, at least. Honestly, just having someone to talk to about all this means a lot.” He begins to slowly swing his legs back and forth, and leans against the coffee stained table top. “Normally I’d talk to one of the Gems, but. Well, y’know.”

His friend bobs her head in the affirmative. “Mmm.”

“It’s just…” he begins, pausing with a long sigh as he tries to organize all his jumbled emotions into something remotely explainable. His eyes drift away from his phone, focusing instead on the soft, tantalizing glow of the ice cream freezer across the shop. “I think I almost died, Connie. For real. I was shivering, a-and scared, and cracked, and- and yet they couldn’t stop fighting about whatever happened in the past. I don’t know anything about Pink Diamond, or what terrible things Rose apparently did, but now it’s like… even if they don’t mean to, that’s all they can think about when they look at me?”

Steven groans in exhaustion, slumping forward so the side of his face is pressed against the table. It’s comfy, never mind how dirty the surface probably is. He shifts his phone in his hands so Connie’s image is still parallel to him. “I dunno. I should’ve never popped that bubble in the first place. If I didn’t let Bismuth out, none of this would’ve happened.”

“Steven!” a loud voice calls from across the shop. “Are you gonna buy a donut or what?”

“Whu- huh??”

Startled, he shoots upright in the chair— knowing all too well from the faint thrum dancing under his skin that he’s on the brink of summoning his bubble on sheer impulse— before realizing that no, it’s only Lars, everything’s fine, I’m fine.

The surly teen is slumped against the counter next to Sadie, (who’s counting the money in the cash register on sheer compulsion, as if rifling through it one more time might cause the cash to magically multiply), both employees marinating in the boredom of yet another low traffic mid-September day at the Big Donut. He pauses to catch his breath, in retrospect feeling super silly for his near freak-out. His two favorite donut people have been here this whole time, of course. How he managed to become so sucked in by his call that he forgot is beyond him.

“Are you okay?” he hears Connie ask softly, obvious concern in her voice.

Lars on the other hand, apparently wasn’t finished calling him out.

“You can’t just- loiter here all morning and not buy anything!” he says. Brow threading together in perplexion, he whirls towards his coworker. “Right? Isn’t there a law for that? Sadie, help me out here-!”

She rolls her eyes so far they almost disappear back into her skull. “Oh, leave him alone, he’s fine...” “Yeah, I’m not loitering, I’m having a nice conversation with my friend!” he chimes, holding up his phone screen to them as proof.

“Hi Sadie, Lars,” Connie says.

The young lady behind the register smiles warmly despite the bags under her eyes, and pauses her task to wave to the camera.

Unimpressed, Lars leans his chin against his balled up fist, elbow propped on the counter. His tired eyes narrow into thin slits, exaggerated by the squish of his cheek against his bottom eyelid. “A ‘nice conversation?’ You’ve been sitting there for half an hour rambling about the misfortunes of near death,” he says, deadpan.

“I—“ His eyes grow wide as he combs back through the— now that he thinks about it— admittedly dour mood of everything he’s recently said. “Is that really what it sounded like...?”

Is he just being a killjoy to everyone? He thought it’d be okay to be real about it with his friend for once, since he usually keeps his deeper issues to himself, but perhaps...

“No, just ignore him,” Sadie says as she diligently sorts the coins, cutting in right before his mind can continue its downward spiral.

On the screen, Connie nods in wholehearted support. “It’s just venting, I don’t mind.”

And despite everything else he manages a smile at that, small and thin but filling him with a needed burst of energy all on its own.

“Huh,” Lars mutters, scrutinizing him closely. “Well, whatever it was, dark and brooding is a surprisingly good vibe for you. We’ll make a teenager of you yet.”

Steven blinks in confusion.

“But I already am a teenager,” he says, perhaps a bit more defensively than he ought have.

“Yeah!” chimes his friend over the phone.

“Wait, really? Aren’t you like, nine or somethin’?”

He squirms in his seat upon reference to his inability to physically age, feeling the flush touch his ears. “Uh, actually…”

“Dude, he’s been a teenager,” Sadie says. She stuffs the last of the quarters in their slot and securely shuts the cash register drawer. “He turned fourteen a few weeks ago, don’t you remember?”

“N- no… I just—“ Lars lets out a scoff, shooting her a moody sneer. “Whatever, okay? I don’t have the time or the patience to remember everyone’s birthdays in this dead-end town.”

“Only twenty-nine people even live here year round.”

“So? Your point is?”

“My point is that it’s kinda common courtesy to look up and pay attention to your surroundings every once in a while?”

He turns up his nose. “Ugh, well you know what—“

Steven purses his lips as he watches the two of them devolve into yet another round of petty squabbling. (Why all of these fights lately…? What’s wrong with everyone, what’s in the air?) Suddenly feeling very much like high tailing it out of here, he shifts in his seat. He and Connie share a knowing glance, one that quickly lets him knows they’re on the same page. Originally, he came here to use the store wi-fi since he didn’t want to be at home right now, but he can probably still use it just fine sitting at the table outside. Without any overt announcement of the fact, he stands and makes his way to the door. Lars and Sadie are too caught up in their spat to notice him leave.

Only when the cool breeze greets him outside can he relax. He kicks back in one of the chairs set out front of the store, adjusting his phone in his hand. Gulls call loudly from the boardwalk in their endless search for trashed food. A handful of people he doesn’t recognize— tourists!— splash in the water or play in the sand, a pair of young men holding hands as they cross the public beach. Sunlight is finally breaking through the cloud cover, brilliant blue overtaking dreary grey. He smiles faintly. Despite everything, it truly is a beautiful morning.

“Sorry about all that!” he says to his friend on the line, glancing back at the doors of the Big Donut. “They really are cool people when you got to know ‘em, but they kinda disagree about stuff a lot.”

Connie stifles a laugh, her expression unreadable for a moment. “I know you keep saying they’re probably dating, but I honestly don’t believe you.”

His skin grows clammy all of a sudden.

Don’t… believe...

He's frozen. It’s almost like he’s with Sapphire, trapped again in that old motel room shivering amidst her frost powers. And yet simultaneously he’s not, ‘cause… because he’s burning up, hand clutching at thin air. He’s terrified. He’s completely alone, he’s—

He’s back in the forge.

Bismuth’s there, looming like a reaper above him, arm shapeshifted into some sort of curved saw blade and held aloft. Thick, viscous lava boils angrily in the pool surrounding the platform he’s on, and more than anything it’s a warning, a constant warning, and he’s stupid, he’s so unobservant and stupid, he should have paid heed to it when he came down here in the first place, why didn’t he—

Heat blasts almost violently at him as he shuffles away on hands and feet, scooting backwards on the blistering stone. He heaves for breath amidst his panic. Meanwhile, the channels of hard light running parallel with his veins buzz alongside the rush of adrenaline keeping him alive. Sweat beads on his forehead, sticky and unnaturally cool.

No matter how hard he tries, he’s too weak against her. His shield isn’t strong enough.

He knows this for a fact now, knows that Bismuth can dissipate both it and his bubble with enough force, and that’s a super scary thought but it doesn’t stop the primal instinct pulsing insistently at the back of his mind, pushing him to stand back up, to summon his weapon anyways and try to defend himself. It’s nothing but a lost cause, though.

Now, his only true shield is his words.

“Wait, I’m not my mom!” he cries in desperation, shielding himself with his arms. “I don’t know what she did, but I’m sure she didn’t want to hurt you!”

The stark shadow obscuring the rainbow haired Gem’s eyes grows darker.

“It’s too late,” she spits, preparing to swing her arm down. “I don’t believe you anymore!”

And then with a shallow gasp he’s here again, here at this dingy plastic table sitting under the bright and blue hope of morning, his phone clutched in a vice-like grip. Breath passes through his lips shakily. What the heck was that?? Was his gem feeding him old memories like what happened in his sleep, or something? Whatever it was, he’s genuinely not sure how much time has passed during the vision, a realization which unnerves him. Seemingly not too long, as Connie hasn’t moved to speak yet. Yet still her too-familiar words echo in his mind, pulsing with the thrum of inflamed blood vessels at an open wound, and without the blessing of inhibition he blurts out the first thought that reveals itself.

“That’s fair,” he says, voice cracking. “I probably wouldn’t believe me about a lot of things right now.”

Her brow creases with obvious concern. “Hey... Hey, I didn’t mean that personally. I was just messing around with ya’. You know that, right?”

“I know,” he sighs. “I’m sorry. I guess I just feel... really on edge.” Jittery fingers card through thick curls as his chest softly rumbles in the absurdity of it all. “Geeze, I’m being a real sad sack today, huh?”

“Well, you’ve been through a lot.”

“Yeah, but to be fair ‘near death scenarios’ are pretty much just an occupational hazard at this point. And I’ve handled that fine before, so…”

“Still doesn’t erase the fact that it’s impacted you hard this time,” she says softly, leveling her gaze squarely on him, her intuitive brown eyes disassembling his insecurities and then putting them back together like a puzzle.

He flushes, shrinking where he sits. He pulls his legs up onto the seat, clutching them to his chest. Intuitively he knows she’s right, he knows that all this has messed with him more than the danger of Gem stuff normally does, but he still can’t help but feel… ashamed? That he’s feeling this way in the first place? It’s bizarre. It’s completely dumb, and the more he fixates on it the more dumb it becomes. Eventually he decides he’s not in the right mental state to try and weave a halfway rational response to her and elects to swerve the topic.

“So there’s also another not-great thing that happened,” he begins, hugging his knees. “Should probably mention.”

“Yeah…?”

“Garnet unfused over all this. Maybe for good this time.”

She gasps, and in an instant her face shoots closer on his screen.

“Wait what? She- you mean that Ruby and Sapphire aren’t—“

“Yup.”

Connie covers her mouth in shock, eyes glistening. “Oh, no! Steven, I’m so sorry! And you don’t think they’ll be able to work it out?”

“No, they made it seem pretty permanent.”

“That’s… really rough,” she sighs in solidarity. “‘Cause I mean, at least since it’s fusion she’s still there in spirit, but- you grew up knowing Garnet.”

“Exactly,” he nods. “I love Ruby and Sapphire a whole bunch, but it’s still different, y’know? Like, it’s like I lost someone important to me. Maybe forever. And... it feels so awful,” he says, pushing past the lump in his throat that he wishes more than anything would go away. “All of it. It’s like everyone in my family’s falling apart. The moment she unfused, Sapphire immediately shut herself in her room, and then Ruby was so upset she ran away, and Amethyst and Pearl started yelling at each other about everything, so… I left. And called you,” he explains, gesturing at her. “And now I’m here, chillin’ at the Big Donut. And that’s pretty much it.”

“Gosh...”

“Yeah.”

“Again, I’m sorry you had to deal with all this. I mean, outright getting cleaved from half of yourself? I can’t even imagine…” She bites at her knuckles for a moment, deep in thought. “Makes me wish I had more than sympathy to offer.”

“Nah, just you listening to everything means a whole bunch. I really appreciate that,” he says. “I—“ his voice wavers a bit as he feels the heat of the blush blossoming across his cheeks— “I really appreciate you. A lot. You- you know that, don't you?”

She giggles, the sound a beautiful reassurance to his ears. “Of course I do! And anyways, you always take time to listen to me when I’m down. That’s what jam buds are for, right?”

“Right,” he says, the word reverberating in harmony in the deepest reaches of his heart.

“Steven!” a voice calls from the distance.

Connie’s brow furrows. “Is that…?”

He whips his head around, squinting in the sunlight to catch a clearer glimpse of the figure running towards the edge of the Big Donut’s patio, his long hair rippling behind him. At the sight of family, his eyes light up. He waves his free arm in greeting.

“Dad!”

“Hey, kiddo!” his dad says, crossing the last few steps to the patio chair he’s curled up in. Gasping for breath, he plops himself in the chair adjacent. “I thought I’d find you here. You doin’ better now?”

He makes a half grimace, and shakes his flattened hand in a so-so gesture.

Dad’s hopeful smile fades, quickly replaced with a compassionate sense of understanding that could only come from years of hard earned age and experience. “Yeah. Yeah, I getcha. Seeing people you love fight like that’s never fun. Do you wanna talk about it?”

He presses his mouth into a line as he contemplates. To be honest, after venting about everything to Connie, fixating on negative emotions more is the last thing he wants to do, but he doesn’t wanna be rude to his dad. Thank goodness he has a valid excuse to avoid it altogether!

“Uh, I’m kinda on the phone, here,” he says, showing him his phone screen as proof.

“Oh, by golly, so you are! Hey, Connie. How are you hangin’ in there?”

She flashes a smile. “Hi, Mr. Universe! I’m okay, thanks.”

“Heh, Mr. Universe, huh?” he chuckles softly, scratching at his beard. “Such formalities! You’ve known me for what, how long? Please, you can call me Greg.”

“Thanks, but my mom says I’m not allowed to call grown ups by their first names.”

“Dr. Maheswaran has all sorts of weird mom rules,” Steven chimes in, nodding.

“Hoo boy, do I know about those,” his dad commiserates in a flat tone. He makes a big show out of mulling this over, humming as he taps at his chin. “Well then, don’t think of me as a grown up, but more of a big kid with, erm… slightly bigger responsibilities.”

“Uh, okay!” Connie says, hesitantly glancing between him and Steven. “If it’s alright with you, then, Mr. Greg!”

Dad‘s mouth turns up in a fond smirk, and then he glances back at him. “Anyways, I wanted to let you know that the Gems have cooled down. I had… a bit of a talk with them, let’s say,” he mutters, clear exhaustion betraying his otherwise content demeanor. “Should be fine to go back when you’re ready.”

“Did Ruby return??”

“Nah, she’s still MIA. But Pearl and Amethyst are on the case.”

He sighs, disappointment flooding his heart. He’s not sure why he ever dreamed otherwise. She’ll come back eventually, of course. She’s gotta. According to Garnet, Rubies are very social Gems, which means they prefer sharing in the company of others over being alone. And even when she’s not fused with Sapphire, she’s still a part of his family. He dearly hopes she knows that.

“I hope her and Sapphire will be okay,” he mutters.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine in the end,” he says with a shrug. “They’ve come apart before, after all.”

Connie hums in agreement. “Yeah, sometimes even my parents need some quiet time away from each other. That’s totally normal!”

Dropping his legs to dangle from the chair again, Steven watches an orange spotted butterfly flutter between the beach umbrellas set up on the patio tables, meeting with its other half before both journeying away in the wind. His cheeks lift at their attempts at reassurance, and boy, does it feel so much more natural than frowning pensively.

“D’ya really think so?”

Smiling softly, his dad affectionately musses his hair. “All we can do is wait and see, bud. Wait and see.” He stands to his feet then, grunting as he uses the table’s surface to help push him up. Gaze growing somewhat weary, he peers with purpose towards the far side of the hill. “Anyways, your old man will be over at the car wash, scrubbing soap scum off the floors. Eughh, right? But hey, if you need anything… a hug, an ear, some classic fatherly advice… come and find me, okay? Take it easy this morning.” Grinning, he turns back to wave goodbye to the girl mirrored on the screen. “Nice seeing ‘ya, Connie. Take care.”

“You too!” she waves in return.

And with that farewell his dad begins his casual jaunt down the sidewalk, leaving the two of them alone once more. Except, he supposes that’s not true at all, is it? Even without Connie, even without Dad, or the Gems. Because if he can take away one good thing from this whole messed up experience, just one hopeful message, it’s that he’s never been alone a day of his life. That’s simply the nature of fusion, you see. Even in the darkest, scariest moments...

I’ve never actually been alone, he marvels. I’ve just been me.

______

Once Steven’s dad leaves to scrub down the floors at his car wash, their conversation evolves considerably from its bleak beginnings. Enough about all this Gem stuff, Steven says, what’s new with you? Besides, uh- folding underwear, of course!

Connie laughs, rolling her eyes at the visible blush on his face as she pushes the aforementioned undergarments out of frame. She eagerly shares some of the finer details of her India trip, telling him all about when she’s leaving for the airport, (late this evening, on a red-eye flight across the Atlantic), what area of the country she’s visiting, (Punjab, where some of her extended family lives), and how long she’ll be gone (just a week!). From there, the topic shifts between a variety of themes, ranging anywhere from her anxiety and excitement at starting school again when she gets back, the pride of finally figuring out a challenging song she’s wanted to perfect for a while on her violin, to this super compelling Unfamiliar Familiar fanfic she found where Lisa discovers she’s secretly heir to the throne of the corrupt society she’s always been vying to escape from underneath the authoritative thumb of.

“Wow, this is the story I never knew I always needed so badly in my entire life,” Steven says, brown irises turning starry-eyed in the sunlight. He’s sitting atop the hill now, resting content on his belly in the grass in front of the lighthouse.

“I know, right?? I’ll send you the link,” she promises, dangling her feet in the air behind her as she lays on the carpet.

He pumps his fist in the air triumphantly. “Woo, free infinite books!”

“Well, keep in mind, it’s not finished yet. Apparently it’s supposed to update bi-weekly, but I think the author got a bit boggled down by life stuff recently.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. I hope they’re doin’ okay.”

“Same… But hey,” she says with a soft laugh, “at least it’s a long fic, right?”

“Y’know,” he interjects the current topic suddenly, rising to his knees. “I wonder if I can see your house from here! D’ya think that’s possible, ‘cause I wanna see if that’s possible!”

He switches his camera’s view from front to back, the image of his face replaced by the scenic vista of the cozy beach town below, ridged by the peaceful waters of the Atlantic and Rehoboth Bay. She can see everything, from the gigantic pastry shaped facade atop the Big Donut, to the water tower clear on the other side of the peninsula. Beyond, lush green grasslands— dotted with clusters of small residences, humanity’s touch on the Earth— stretch as far into the horizon as far as a young dreamer can imagine.

Connie picks up her phone from the bedpost she leaned it against and squints at the screen, trying to map out the precise scale of the countryside between them in her mind. “Hmm, probably not. I think my town’s pretty hidden by the surrounding hills.”

“No silly, not from right here, here! I meant, from up here!”

She yelps as the view of Beach City on her phone screen jolts in a burst of sudden, rapid movement, shrinking smaller and smaller as the seconds tick by.

“Steven!! What are you—“

But internally, she finds the answer to this question before she can even finish asking it. Clearly, he jumped into the sky, so… so he’s using his floating ability. Even though she’s never seen him utilize it to leap to this extreme, it’s the only possibility that makes any ounce of sense. Her mouth falls agape at the picturesque view below, the town beginning to looking more and more like a blurred watercolor painting. Distantly, she wonders what it would feel like to be up there with him, her hands clutched tight in his, the wind dancing through her long hair.

"Consarn it! Your house is too small to pick out. Hmm..."

Or even as Stevonnie, can they float too? she wonders. Maybe one day she can ask!

“Oh my gosh, this is just like I’m on the giant slingshot they used to have at Funland,” she says, averting her eyes as her best friend continues his ascent into the shimmering blue sky. She lets slip a slight grimace, finding the stark contrast between the movement on the screen and the still permanence of her bedroom dizzying the more she watches. “And I’m starting to think there’s a reason they shut that ride down…”

“Hey, my floating powers are way better than The Comet,” he chirps playfully, having finally reached the apex of his leap. “Hah, maybe that means I should start my own attraction at Funland!”

“Doing what?” she says, unable to keep from laughing at the absurdity of the very concept. “Bubbling people on the tracks of the rollercoaster like the day we first met? I’m pretty confident that’d be a major health and safety violation.”

“Aww, but those are the best kinds of attractions!”

She hears him grunt with minor exertion, and suddenly the aerial glimpse of the countryside she’s watching on her phone drops out of sight, replaced in an instant with a sweeping panorama of the boundless sky, the line of the horizon with the sea, the ground looming ominously hundreds of feet below. Rinse and repeat, over and over. Everything is spinning, she realizes in alarm, and there’s no end in sight.

“Whoa-oH, it’s the Stevencoaster!” he cries in childish glee as he somersaults.

His lighthearted joy is so contagious she can’t stop the grin stretching wide across her face.

“Careful, you doofus, you’re gonna make me motion sick and I’m not even there,” she giggles breathlessly.

“Nooo! And the Stevencoaster makes everyone toss their cookies! Words truly cannot describe the culinary carnage left in its wake.”

She rolls her eyes in fondness at his antics, and sits up on her carpet. “No, but seriously,” she reaffirms, “that’s making me pretty dizzy.”

“Oh, sorry!”

Soon enough she watches him level out from his spin, his camera focusing for a moment on the ground a hundred feet below his sandaled feet before flipping to show his face once more, framed by wild dark curls. His irises are shimmering an unnatural pink she’s never seen before. It's enough of an unexpected shock that her smile fades, ever so slightly.

“Better?” he says, beaming at her as he continues on his slow descent to Earth.

They’re still pink. And his pupils… She’s not just imagining it, right? She blinks heavily.

“Y- yes, much.”

“Connie? What’s wrong?” he asks, landing upon the grass. His brow furrows.

Even more notably, his eyes are just as normal and brown as they ever were. Connie balls her hand against her chin as she deliberates this. Hmm. Curiouser and curiouser.

She shakes her head, silently mulling over how best to explain this. “Nothing, it’s just… I could’ve sworn your eyes were… different, for a second.”

“Different?” Steven‘s grin stretches so wide he looks like he’s about to burst at any moment. “Eye don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Well, if you become my pupil I could explain it to you,” she giggles.

“I’m listening,” he chimes eagerly.

“Okay, so honestly it could’ve just been a trick of the light, but… it’s almost like they flashed pink for a second. And your pupils were all funny, kind of, uh- slitted! Like a cat’s.”

“Pink?”

“Yeah.”

His face goes shockingly pale. “Connie, when was this?”

“Just a second ago,” she shrugs. “You were still floating.”

“Floating,” he repeats under his breath, seeming haunted by the very thought.

“Steven?” she calls, a sudden twist in her chest at the sight of his clear distress. “Steven, what’s wrong?”

“I, I—“ he stammers, unable to even meet her glance. “I’m really sorry, but I gotta go. I’ll text you later?”

“Uh- okay. Thanks for calling—“

He hangs up.

“...back,” she finishes softly, shoulders sinking.

She sighs heavily, dropping her phone into her lap and sitting back against her bed frame. What did she say? What could be so scary about the idea of glowing pink eyes to make him react like that? Sure, it’s a bit strange, but it’s no more unusual than any of his other unique abilities. She only hopes she didn’t ruin his good mood all over again by bringing his attention to it.

Her mother knocks on the doorframe outside, signaling her presence.

“Come in,” she mutters glumly.

The door creaks open. Mom steps through, and leans against the wall with her arms crossed, glancing knowingly between her and the phone still clutched like a lifeline in her hands.

“Are you still worried about that boy?” she asks.

Connie can almost hear the capitalization inherent in her tone. 'That Boy.’ Even though she and Steven are just friends, she knows full well who her mother thinks he is to her. (Not that she’d complain if that were the case, but that’s simply not a thing with them, and really that’s fine, she’s fine, their status quo is comfortable how it is—)

“Yeah… I just got off the phone with him," she says, letting her head sink into the folds of the covers trailing off the side of her bed. "It sounds like he’s been through a lot lately.”

“Well, when a child spends all day fighting monsters instead of going to school like he’s supposed to, I can’t say I’m surprised,” her mom says under her breath.

“Mom, come on, this is serious!”

“Yes, sorry, you’re right,” she says wearily, pressing her hand to her temple. “Just because I don’t understand it doesn’t mean that it’s fair of me to say.”

She turns away, and hugs her knees to her chest. Like a storm on a late summer day, her mind brims with so many things she wishes she could admit, so many things that need to be released if she wants to find any peace about this. But how to start? How can she make her mother understand?

“I’ve really been looking forward to this trip, y’know?" Connie says, feeling oh-so vulnerable sitting on the floor just like she always would as a young child, eyes glistening as she calls upon her mother for support. "Really. And I know we gotta leave tonight, but just knowing he’s hurting and I won’t be able to text him at all makes part of me wish… that I could stay here."

Unable to dam it up anymore, a few tears spill over to roll unbridled down her cheek. Her chest quivers uncontrollably as her face screws up and she begins to cry.

"Oh, honey," she breathes, moving to kneel on the floor next to her. She rests her hand on her upper back, gently kneading the stress out of her tense muscles.

"He's always been there for me when I needed someone to talk to, o-or somethin' to feel better," she sniffles, wiping the damp from her eyes and nose. "A- and then- the moment he needs me, I can't be there for him at all, an' it's not fair!"

Upon seeing the trail of snot beginning to drip towards her upper lip, her mother grimaces. She reaches across her for the small square box perched atop her nightstand. "Tissue," she says firmly, passing her the box.

She accepts the gift, pulling one out, and blows her nose hard.

As she's dabbing away, cleaning up the evidence of her tears, Mom's fingers shift to comb through the length of her hair. She twirls through long dark strands and pulls them out of her face. "Even if I don't get all this magic stuff you're both dealing with," she begins, voice brimming with compassion, "believe me, I understand more than most what it feels like to be cut off from the people you love. So... I’ll change your phone plan to international, how’s that? That way, at the very least you’ll still be able to contact him.”

Her eyes light up. “Wow, really?? But that’s super expensive!”

“Says your father,” she scoffs with soft laughter. “We can afford it. And anyways, I’d hate to see you miserable the whole trip.”

“That’ll be perfect!” she says, throwing her arms tight around her mother. And although she can’t see her face, Connie knows from the reassuring solidness of their embrace that every bit of the love she has for her is returned in full. “Thanks, Mom,” she whispers, her anxious heart finally finding a glimmer of peace.

#su #steven universe #connie maheswaran #su fanfic #su fanfiction #crack the paragon #greg universe #lars barriga #sadie miller #priyanka maheswaran #my writing stuff

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dlwritings · 6 years ago

Text

Begin Again | Harrison Osterfield

masterlist found here

pairing - Harrison x reader word count - 2,497 warnings - A/N - I’ve been getting deep in my Harrison feels lately, so here’s a fluffy fic | Listen to Begin Again by Taylor Swift

summary - You had given up on relationships, convincing yourself you were content moping around feeling sorry for yourself. Your best friend, Harry, decided to set you up and help change your mind.

“Harry this is ridiculous. I look ridiculous.”

“(Y/N) would you just relax? You look fine. You look great.”

You glared at your best friend Harry through your laptop camera before you went back over to your closet to try on a different outfit. It was his idea to set you up on with his brother’s best friend and you were still not completely fond of the idea. For the past eight months, you had been mending your broken heart. Your last boyfriend wasn’t great to say the least, but it still hurt when you reached your inevitable downfall. He was mentally abusive but you put up with it because you didn’t like the idea of being alone. So, even when you knew he was cheating on you, you dealt with it. When he ended up breaking up with you, claiming you were too needy and clingy, it took you a long time to recover. After eight months of you moping around though, it seemed like Harry finally had enough.

You knew Harrison through conversation only. You had never actually met him. Even though Harry was your best friend, you didn’t go for nights out with him and his brother Tom, so there was never a situation where you and Harrison would ever cross paths. Harry, however, seemed to think Harrison would be a good match for you. Despite the three year age difference between the two of you that might cause some to worry, Harry knew Harrison enough to know that he wouldn’t just fuck you and dump you. If all worked out like he planned, Harrison would treat you right and he’d have his happy-go-lucky best friend back, without the psychotic boyfriend.

You slipped on a dress your friend had given you for your birthday a while back but had never actually worn. It was a short pink skater dress covered in floral print with a lace-up back. Once you had it on, you walked back in front of the laptop camera for Harry to see. He had been on his phone but looked up when you cleared your throat. “Damn, (Y/N),” he laughed, letting out a low whistle. “That’s it. That’s the one.”

“You sure?” you asked, tugging the hem of the dress a bit and looking at your reflection in the mirror beside the desk your laptop was sitting on. “It’s not too much with the back like this?”

“Believe me, this is it,” he pressed. “And I’m not just saying that because I’m worried you’ve run out of clothes.” You rolled your eyes and held back a smile. You went back to your closet and stared at a pair of heels that would go perfectly with your outfit, but didn’t grab them.

Still out of frame from Harry, you shouted, “Can I wear heels?”

“What do you mean can you wear heels?” he asked. You grabbed the shoes, slipped them on, and walked back over to the laptop. “Jack never wanted me to wear heels. I mean, I’m already a little bit taller than average and I don’t want-”

“(Y/N) you can wear whatever the fuck you want to wear,” he said firmly. “That asshole doesn’t control you.” You let out a heavy sigh and hung your head.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “It’s just, this is hard for me, Harry.”

He sighed as well, “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. I just don’t want you hanging on to the dumb shit he poured into your brain.”

“I know,” you said. You looked up at Harry and gave him a small smile. “Well, I better go. I’ll text you when I’m home.”

“Have fun, okay?” he said sincerely. “Let me know if he does anything stupid.”

You laughed, “Goodbye, Harry.”

Your drive to the cafe you were supposed to meet Harrison at was short but nerve-wracking. You had all these horrible, paranoid thoughts in your head, like what if he stood you up? What if he didn’t like what you were wearing? What if he thought you were boring and left in the middle of the date? You forced yourself to shake all those thoughts out of your head. Harrison was not Jack. Harry wouldn’t have set you up with him if he was anything like Jack. Harry hated Jack, and he wanted what was best for you.

You decided to park about a block away from the cafe in order to give yourself a bit of fresh air. Your heels were just wedged sandals, so they wouldn’t be uncomfortable to walk in. Before you got out of your car, you put your headphones into your phone and played some music for the short walk. The first song that came up was Fire and Rain by James Taylor. Jack hated that song. He always said he didn’t get it, which you never understood. You had grown so accustomed to changing it whenever it came on that your finger hovered over the skip button. Instead of pressing it, you locked your screen and gripped your phone in your hand. You threw your purse over your shoulder, got out of the car, and walked over to the cafe with the song playing softly in your ears.

You were used to Jack being late to everything, so you were surprised to see Harrison already sitting at a table. You took out your headphones and slipped your phone into your purse, just as Harrison looked up from his phone and saw you. He smiled and stood up, giving you a small wave. You waved back and walked over to him, subconsciously tugging at the hem of your dress a bit.

“You must be (Y/N),” he said sweetly.

“And you must be Harrison,” you said back. He smiled and nodded, greeting you with a gentle kiss on the cheek. The simple contact made your skin blush red. He even pulled your chair out for you, a gesture so foreign to you, you almost didn’t remember to sit down. When you did, Harrison sat across from you and gave you another smile. He seemed to be doing that a lot. It was nice. Warm. Comforting.

“You look beautiful,” he said. And it didn’t seem forced or cheesy.

“Thanks,” you said back with a nervous smile. You wished your smile could be as relaxed as his.

“Do you want a coffee?” he asked. You nodded and asked for a caramel latte which he kindly stood up to get and insisted on paying for. In the few minutes that he was gone, you checked your phone and saw you had already gotten a text from Harry:

Have you fallen in love with him yet? ;)

You rolled your eyes and replied quickly”

You’re such a div

Harrison came back quickly with your drinks and sat back across from you. “So,” he said simply, folding his hands on the table, “you and Harry go way back?”

“Yeah,” you nodded with a laugh. “We met in primary school. Been super close ever since.”

“I’m surprised we haven’t met before,” Harrison said. You shrugged.

“I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not really the type for a night out with the boys,” you joked. Harrison tossed his head back lightly and laughed before running his fingers through his hair and looking at you again.

“I guess that’s fair,” he said. “If you’re not out clubbing on a Friday night, what else is there to do?” He had a teasing glint in his eye that made you giggle.

“God, honestly nothing,” you deadpanned. “The world is utterly meaningless without Mahiki and Club 49 Soho.”

“Oh so you know the names but you don’t go?” he laughed.

“I’ve listened to enough of Harry’s stories to know the names of every club in London,” you chuckled back. Harrison laughed again, and the sound was like music to your ears. Jack never thought you were funny. Even if Harrison was just pity laughing, you never wanted him to stop. “Besides,” you continued, “the music at the clubs is not my cup of tea. I don’t think I’d be able to get through two songs without wanting to blow out my own eardrums.”

“What, you’re not into Drake and Post Malone?” he asked. “That’s all that’s on the radio now.”

“And that’s why I don’t listen to the radio,” you said, sipping your coffee slowly.

“Well what do you listen to?” he pressed. “Who’s your favorite singer?”

This made you quiet, a few unwanted memories flooding your head. Jack hated your music taste. Despised it actually. He never let you play any music in the car, Fire and Rain only being a single example of songs he hated. It was one of the many stupid things he would get irrationally angry about. He didn’t understand why you couldn’t like normal music. During one of your outrageous fights, he actually broke one of your favorite Carole King records.

“(Y/N)?” Harrison said gently, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry,” you said quickly, wringing your hands awkwardly. “Sorry. Uh, I zoned out for a second. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Harrison laughed lightly. “Don’t need to apologize.”

“Sorry.”

It was an instinct. Apologizing was like second nature to you. Harrison just laughed again and laid a hand on yours. “We’re just talking about music, love,” he teased. “Do you not like music?”

“No, ah, I’m sorry,” you said again. Harrison raised an eyebrow at you and you blushed and covered your face with your free hand. “James Taylor,” you said bluntly, peeking through your fingers to look at him. “James Taylor is my favorite singer. I have 20 of his records.”

“Records?” Harrison repeated. “Like proper vinyls?” You nodded and moved your hand from your face as Harrison gave an impressed nod. “That’s crazy. I’ve never met such a big James Taylor fan, let alone one that listens to records.”

“Hey, vinyls are coming back!” you said defensively, a small smile on your lips. “All the millennials are listening to them.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re not even a millennial,” he teased lightly.

“The line between millennials and gen z kids is so thin, I like to pretend it’s not there.”

The two of you spent over two hours at the cafe, laughing and chatting with each other about anything and everything that came to mind. Harrison was exactly what you needed, Harry was right. When you and Harrison finally felt like it was time to part ways, he offered to walk you to your car. You agreed, even linking arms with him as the two of you walked. “I had a great time today,” Harrison said sweetly.

“Me too,” you said. “It’s been a while since, since I felt like I’m living, like, a really wonderful life.” You paused, reflecting on how cheesy and stupid that probably sounded, but it was the only way you thought to word exactly how amazing you were feeling. You suddenly felt the need to explain. Maybe if you brought up Jack and talked about your past, he would understand. Maybe it was just something you needed to get out into the open. If this relationship was going to go anywhere, maybe-

“It’s a Wonderful Life,” Harrison said with a slight chuckle. “My family watches that every Christmas. We have a Christmas movie marathon every Christmas Eve. Ever since my sister and I were younger, we would stay up until, like 1:00 in the morning with our parents just watching movie after movie. We watch Elf, and The Santa Clause, and Arthur Christmas.” Harrison kept talking about his random Christmas traditions and you couldn’t fight the smile on your face. You realized then that Jack didn’t matter. If there ever came a time where you needed to bring up Jack, you would. Now just wasn’t that time. What’s past was finally past. Harrison was your present and, if you were lucky, maybe your future too.

Harrison walked you all the way to your car and placed a gentle kiss to your cheek, causing your skin to turn beet red. Harrison grinned and brushed a bit of hair behind your ear. “You are so cute,” he laughed lightly. You bit back a smile and hung your head. “Thanks for agreeing to grab a coffee,” he said. “Harry told me you weren’t too keen.”

“It’s not that,” you said quickly, looking up at him. “I’ve just, I’ve been having a hard time with relationships lately, that’s all, so I’ve been a little hesitant to, to go out with anyone.” You paused, smiled, and laid your hand on the back of Harrison’s head, curling your fingers in his hair. “Harry talked you up, so I thought I’d give you a chance.”

“You happy you took those chances?” he asked. You noticed his face get closer to yours, your noses almost brushing together.

“Oh, I’m very happy,” you said back softly. Harrison hesitantly brushed his lips against yours, moving slowly in case you pulled away. Instead, you moved your lips with his, putting your other hand on the other side of his face, letting your thumbs rub circles on his cheekbones. Harrison gently pushed you up against your car, putting his hands on your waist. You couldn’t help but gasp when he squeezed your hips gently, letting him slide his tongue past your parted lips. Normally making out with someone against the side of a car wasn’t your cup of tea, but something about Harrison made you act a little differently. Harrison finally bit your lower lip lightly before pulling away from you, an extremely pleased smirk on his face.

“Sorry,” he whispered, though you could tell he definitely was not. “Hope I didn’t take it too far.”

“Taking it too far would’ve been fucking me against the hood of the car,” you told him. The words slipped past your lips without you taking even a moment to think twice about them. Harrison laughed his wonderful laugh again, tossing his head back at your words.

“Jesus,” he said with a shake of his head. “It’s a good thing I didn’t go with my instincts then.” You laughed back, brushing some of Harrison’s hair from his forehead.

“Okay, this has been fun,” you said to him, slapping your hands lightly against his chest, “but I have to get going.”

“Okay,” Harrison said back with a nod. “I’ll give you a call, yeah?”

You agreed and the two of you parted ways. You spent the entire ride back to your apartment smiling widely. When you got home, you immediately plopped on the couch and texted Harry:

For the past eight months or whatever, I’ve been thinking that relationships just don’t work out for some people, mainly me. That’s why I was so against going out with Harrison. Thanks for forcing me anyway. I had a really great time. I think he got me out of the rut I didn’t even really realize I was in x

#harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfield x reader #harrison osterfield fluff #harrison osterfield angst #marvel

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wisebrokenwallflower · 6 years ago

Text

bangtan fic rec

I can be kind of particular when it comes to what I’ll read and I hold a special appreciation for well-written fics with good plot and dynamic characters. I’ve started to accumulate a fair number of fics in my bookmarks, so I think it’s time I start sharing some gems with whoever cares. I highly recommend all of these since I think they are all beautiful in their own unique ways, but I will list the ships. I know certain things can be triggering to some people, so please read the fic tags in case.

the italics are my thoughts, the normal text is the official summary, bolded fics are the ones that had significant impacts on me and or I feel discuss something really important

(this may or may not kind of be an open love letter to all the authors on here lol)

same damn hunger by marienadine [Yoonseok]

When it comes to fucking around with his best friend, Yoongi follows two rules:

1. They must be inebriated.

2. They must not kiss.

okay this fic is heartbreaking? it’s really smutty, but it’s also super poetic and angsty. it’s just really good, I’ve read it a ton of times : ))

Let’s Not Hurt Anymore by exfatamorgana [Namjin]

They don’t talk about it, and usually no one thinks to ask. But if you did, Namjoon and Seokjin would tell. They aren’t keeping secrets, and if you asked them, they’d answer. It just so happens that on a Sunday, not much different from any other Sunday, the other boys think to ask.

So how do two people who are always together end up… together?

two things: 1) this fic is part of a larger series, but I have not read the other parts 2) you do need an ao3 account to read this fic.

besides that, this fic is so beautiful and holds an extra special place in my heart. this fic isn’t really about Jin and Namjoon, it’s more about everything else surrounding their romantic relationship; their friendship, their internal struggles, the other impactful people in their lives. it’s about their personal journeys, but the fic is also a platform to discuss some really important issues in a very thoughtful way. I’m not sure how to explain it well, but even though this fic is really sad at times, the parts that made me cry were the hopeful ones, the parts that made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I Don't Regret a Thing by HeavenlyHell [Yoonseok]

Hoseok is a host working in a shadier part of town, living in a small apartment complex just away from the main and busy buzz of the big city. All he really was planning to do was get some gross food and continue his gross life, but he also manages to spot a very gross (and bloody, which is gross) body on the ground. Except, the body is alive, and upon closer inspection, isn't as gross as it seems.

this fic is actually kind of funny and cute. if you want something lighter (especially compared to the previous two) this is a good option. also I want Yoongi’s hair.

Creating a Home by CheekyBrunette [Namjin]

(I didn’t put an official summary for this one because it’s actually a series)

Foster Care AU- it’s literally the softest, cutest, sweetest thing you will ever read oh my god I love kid fics so much they’re so cute. this one actually deals with some heavy stuff since it’s the foster care system, and so there’s tough situations that put them in the system, but many of the kids also find new difficulties once they’re in the system. but seriously, nothing will make your heart suffer more than little kid bangtan. btw, Namjin are the parents. IT’S SO FLUFFY. like, even when Jin is losing his mind and it feels like shit is falling apart, it is immediately fluffy after.

On Patrol by Ragi [Jikook/Yoonseok/Namjin]

Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable.

Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can't seem to keep out of his life.

Captain Kim finds comfort in his son's homeroom teacher.

Well, cops need some loving too, right?

that’s the summary for part 1, but it’s actually a two-part series. the summary makes it sound super fluffy, but there’s actually a fair amount of violence and angst. it’s all happy in the end though, don’t worry. (I basically only read fics with happy endings) also, kid Tae is so cuteee.

i've been drinking, i've been drinking by decompositionbooks [Jikook]

Jungkook tries to figure Jimin out with Yoongi's trademarked "What Your Drink Says About You" alcohol psychoanalysis.

All he knows is that Jimin likes fruity little drinks.

this one is really cute and a little sad. the best part of this fic for me was the fact that it really improved my knowledge of drinks lol

doubt thou the stars are fire by iwillalwaysbelieve [Jikook/Yoonseok]

Jeon Jeongguk's got a Reputation™. Park Jimin learns how to not give a shit about it.

this one is really short but really cute : )

White Chalk by g_odalisque13 [Taegi]

Yoongi had been aware of the shadow for as long as he could remember.

Sometimes he went months without feeling like it was just a few steps behind him or waiting around the next corner. But no matter how long he was able to avoid it, it always came back. Always.

It's 1993, and Yoongi is a music major starting his sophomore year in college. A bunch of stupid dares from his friends aren't supposed to turn his world upside down. Then again, maybe it's not the dares. Maybe it's just Taehyung.

I don’t know how to effectively describe how much I love this fic, but I love this fic so damn much. it’s just so well written and funny and genuine and it’s really honest and nice and it makes me happy

tie the knot by jivenchys (bareJinerals) [Jikook]

Either stay married to an arrogantly conceited billionaire for one year and get a million dollars in return, or drown in his father’s debt with the risk of ending up on the streets. Signing the prenup suddenly seems harder than it looks.

mate let me tell you, this is the slowest fucking slowburn you will ever read in the history or slowburn. every other fic on this list is complete except for this one, but even though this one is still in progress, it’s so fucking good that it’s definitely worth the wait. I have not felt excitement equivalent to that when I saw that this fic was updated recently. even though it’s still in progress, this is one of my all time favorites

hey, you never walk alone by deuxoiseaux [Yoonseok]

"Are you stalking me, or something?" Hoseok demands, more than loud enough for his voice to carry to the roof of the two-story building overhead. "This is seriously the fourth time I've seen you today alone! What is your deal? Why are you always everywhere I go lately?"

The man in the red and blue suit peeks down at Hoseok from the rooftop ledge. "...I thought I was being stealthy," he answers, and Hoseok can hear the pout in his voice even with his face hidden behind that mask. It's kind of endearing, even if it's still annoying.

(or: the spiderman au nobody asked for but exists now, i guess)

this is so cute! it’s a really short fic, but I love the characterizations a lot : )

a sugar coated pill and a pick me up by whomstisthis [Namjin]

As Namjoon stood slightly removed from the scene, bemusedly watching the six-year-olds swarm around his cooler (which he had borrowed from his mom), he didn’t even notice that someone had sidled up next to him until he heard the tiny, but undoubtedly exasperated, huff.

He followed the sound, turning his head to the right. A guy was standing there, arms crossed, lips pursed. He let out another huff, louder this time, but only slightly.

Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?

One more huff from the guy.

He was beginning to think this guy’s lips were just perpetually pursed and would simply never, ever unpurse themselves, when he, the guy, finally unpursed his lips to speak.

“I just think it’s pretty irresponsible to bring Gatorade to a soccer game for first graders,” he said, huffily, “No offense.”

(or: namjin are soccer dads who fall in luv)

kid!tae and kid!kook are friends and it’s really cute and also I love Jin and Joon’s banter. also, this is explicitly set in new york, which makes for an interesting cultural cross. (and completely unrelated, this fic taught me about Richard Siken, who is a heart wrenching poet)

Of Lace Panties and Accidental Magic by jonghyunslisterine [Jikook]

In which a meddlesome teenage witch makes a considerable mistake mixing her potions.

(Or; Jungkook can't lie, Jimin's not looking like himself, and everyone knows Jungkook's in love with Jimin - except Jimin.)

this one of the few cisgirl!bangtan fics that I like (even though Jimin’s not technically a girl). often the whole “bangtan as girls au” thing feels kind of forced, but here Jimin’s gender thing is actually constructive to the fic rather than distracting. it’s really cute and jikook are a whole mess but it’s fine

hounds of love by fitzgarbage [Namjin]

Seokjin hasn't been back in a long time.

it’s kind of melancholy but it’s really well written. the last tag is “some characters are sad”. yeah. a large part of this fic is about growth and self discovery and I think that’s really why I like it.

girls just want to have fun by fitzgarbage [Yoonseok/Vmin/Namjin/Jinkook]

“Namjoon told me you’d probably be haunting a corner. I didn’t know what he meant, but I think I get it now.” He’s breathing hard. “I knew you right away. You look really good, by the way.”

transgender, intersex, and nb characters. I have a lot of things to say about this fic but my brain isn’t really working right now so I may end up having to make a separate post. I just have a lot of things to say about this fic. there are some fics that aren’t just enjoyable to read, they’re also important to read. that’s this. fair warning, you’re going to want to wrap everyone in blankets and protect them from the world forever after you’re done reading this.

Internecine by jawsbar (GryfoTheGreat) [Yoonseok]

Everyone gets a soulmate. You don't get a choice in the matter. Fate decides who you love, whether you like it or not, and to her credit, she usually gets it right.

This time, Fate fucks up. Like, majorly.

(Or: Failed idol Jung Hoseok is bonded to the very person who destroyed his dream.)

HOLY SHIT. SO FUCKING GOOD. READ THIS. JUST DO IT. I DON’T CARE IF IT TAKES YOU A WEEK. JUST DO IT. there’s a lot of real issues within the industry that the author talks about and it’s things that you might already know about and things that you may not know about. it’s really informative and beautiful and amazing and just go read it. (also the author is a sweetheart, super nice person : ))

harvest moon, recall your youth by blackranger (robpatFF)[Taegi/Namseok/Jikookjin]

“How drunk was I?” Yoongi asks. “Did I seriously tell you my whole life story before we hooked up?”

“No,” Taehyung giggles. “Silly Min Yoongi. You told me your life story before we got married. Then we fucked. Like a honeymoon, you know?”

Or, Yoongi and Taehyung get drunk married in Las Vegas.

the taegi is really sweet and the namseok is nice too

the waiting game by bonnia [Jikook]

It’s a waiting game. Jimin knows that Jungkook doesn’t have to come back, but with every little touch, every time Jungkook does, and every time Jungkook lies down right next to him, pressed up close, torturously warm and smelling like cigarette smoke and cologne, Jimin can’t help but feel like he could — would — wait years just for Jungkook to come back to him again.

(Or: In which Jimin is a prostitute and Jungkook is his favourite customer.)

it’s really sad and then it’s really sweet. Kookie is a sweetheart and Jimin needs a hug

boy, you got my heartbeat runnin' away by 777335

Summer before his third year, Hoseok says he wants to move out of the dorms and Yoongi replies easily, “My lease is almost up, wanna get a place together?”

Hoseok can’t speak for a second, just wants.

“Seok?” Yoongi says, pushing his glasses up with the heel of his hand, tongue poking into his cheek nervously. “We don’t— we don’t have to, never mind.”

“No,” Hoseok says, taking the half step to their table, sliding Yoongi’s beer toward him, settling on his stool with his caipirinha. He chews on the straw. “No, no,” he can feel the smile breaking across his face, “that sounds great, that sounds really nice. Holy shit, yeah, let’s do it.”

“Yeah?” A shy smile touches the corners of Yoongi’s mouth. “Yeah? Okay. We could get a couch for Holly.”

or hoseok and yoongi meet on the internet, become friends, both end up in seoul, become better friends, move in together, and then eat some pancakes. oh, also they make out.

it’s really cute! they’re so sweet and they actually communicate and it’s nice and they kind of remind me of my relationship with someone very close to me ; )

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I have some more recs, but I wanted to post these so that this didn’t sit in my drafts forever lol. happy reading! dm me if you love any of these a lot and we can gush together : )))

#taegi fic #jikook fic #namjin fic #ao3fic #bangtan fic rec #sope fic #I actually use yoonseok but sope seems like the more common tag #the things fanfiction has given me

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