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orchid-and-bone · 10 months ago

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this is so well written! I am so excited to see where this goes!!

Part 1

Javier Escuella x femVirgin!Reader

Synopsis: You and Javier are to attend a party in Saint Denis, hoping to rob the owner of the establishment. Your role is to distract the man while Javier sneaks up to his room, stealing bonds rumored to be worth a good bit. The only problem is, the two of you are pretending to be husband and wife, which would be fine if you weren’t completely in love with the man. Will you be able to muster up the courage to finally confess to him, or will your personal anxieties hold you back from getting what you want?

Tags: fluff, smut, friends to lovers, fem!Reader, reader is described to have longer hair but that’s about it, reader is afraid of intimacy, but like still wants it, unwanted touch (not from javier), unwanted sexual advances (not from javier), non consensual touching (not from javier), basically any noncon stuff is not done by javier, degrading language towards women, first kiss, love confessions, virgin reader, not beta read, angst, unsafe sex

Author’s Note: i know english and german, not spanish. sorry. also i totally wasn’t projecting while writing this ahaha :D

also this was supposed to not have multiple parts but i broke it down into two just for reader digestibility

part 1 ❉ part 2

You were certain that Miss Grimshaw was trying to kill you.

If she pulled any harder at the corset currently strangling you, you’re sure your lungs would collapse. A startled cry left your lips when she tugged again, causing you to nearly topple into her. Miss Grimshaw rescinded with a disapproving nose, roughly adjusting you back upright.

The two of you were in someone's tent, Miss Grimshaw practically pulling you in a few minutes ago with a garment in her hands. You had been on guard duty, and you had seen Charles give you an almost apologetic look as she took over for you.

“You’re actin’ like this is your first time wearin’ a corset,” She reprimanded, pulling yet again at the strings.

You were no stranger to corsets, that was true, but you’ve never had to wear one this tight. Usually they were tight enough to accentuate your figure, but it still was breathable enough that you could move with ease, which was necessary in this lifestyle. This time it was pressed so snug against your body that you feared a sudden movement would pop a rib.

“Not like this!” You snapped, your discomfort causing your fuse to become short.

“Don’t take it out on me, girl. You can thank Dutch for this.”

You scoffed. “Of course. How does he expect me to move like this?”

“That’s the point. You’re not supposed to.” She emphasized her point with another tug, restricting your airflow even further.

“What?”

“He wants you to be the distraction, and the only way you’re doin’ that is if we get this corset on.”

You rolled your eyes. “You know that ain’t true. You know damn well I can distract someone without having to kill my lungs.”

“Not this time. You’re goin’ to a party, accompanying one of the men as their newlywed wife. Your story is that you used to be a working girl, but you’ve now settled down with your rich ‘husband’. You’re gonna distract the man of the house with your assets, and by implying that your new husband ain’t takin’ good care of you, if you know what I mean. Rumor has it that he’s a frequent customer of the local brothels, so it’ll be easy to get his attention.” Miss Grimshaw chuckled lightly. “While he’s taken in by you, your ‘husband’ is gonna sneak up to his rooms, looking for bonds or somethin’. You’re gonna have to ask Dutch or someone for the details. He just told me to make you look… irresistible, which is what I’m tryin’ to do, but you keep complainin’!”

“Sorry…” you grumbled. You weren’t too fond of the plan that was just presented to you. As a master conwoman, you were no stranger to using your body as a tool, using your assets to get what you wanted. But if this corset was telling you anything, it was that you were going to be quite out on display, your breasts barely contained in the garment. You knew you would probably be safe with whoever your “husband” was, but you didn’t trust the other men at the party. You were already mentally preparing yourself for the words you were going to be hearing tonight, and for the possible gropes and touches of disgusting men.

And because you had such little movement, you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself as well as you could. The thought of being so defenseless had you shuddering, which didn’t go unnoticed by Miss Grimshaw. “You’re gonna be alright. Besides, Arthur’ll be taggin’ along with the two of you as extra muscle. Lord knows he’d never let anythin’ happen to you.”

“Arthur ain’t my ‘husband’?” You were expecting the cowboy to be your other half for the night, as the two of you had played that role several times as Mr. and Mrs. Callahan. The two of you worked well together, a natural comradery making it a very convincing act. So much so that some of the gang members had even questioned yours and Arthur’s friendship, but the two of you quickly shut those thoughts down. The two of you were practically siblings, and besides, you had your eyes on someone else in camp.

“Not tonight. He said he’ll probably be recognized and wouldn’t be able to be someone else, so he asked for someone else to play the role tonight.”

“Please don’t be Micah,” you groaned.

“Dutch ain’t a fool. He knows the two of you would never be a convincing couple.” You could tell she was imagining you and Micah pretending to be sweet on each other, and she laughed boisterously. “The two of you’d kill each other before you even got to the party! That would be a sight to see, though.”

“So who’s gonna be playing my ‘husband’, then?”

Because your back was turned, you missed the mischievous look that flicked across her face. “That will be Mr. Escuella.”

“Javier?!” The remaining air in your lungs came out in a wheeze, and you started coughing. Trying to suck in as much air back in proved to be a difficult task, and you found yourself growing lightheaded for more reasons than one.

“That’s who I said, right? I recommended him myself; I know it won’t be hard for you to pretend that you’re married.”

“What do you-”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, girl. I know you’re sweet on him.”

“Sure, say it louder so the whole goddamn camp knows!” You huffed, and you prayed that it wasn’t evident that you were blushing. Were you really that obvious?

“I apologize,” she laughed, not sounding sorry at all. “I think the ‘whole goddamn camp’ already knows, girl. Everyone but Javier, that is.” You felt her tug one final time, before tying the strings into a tight knot. Sucking in a deep breath, you tried to calm your racing heart. You were never nervous like this before jobs, but with the new knowledge of who your “husband” was, along with some more personal worries, it was hard to stay calm. Of course you got paired up with the man you’d had your eye on since the moment you joined the gang.

But it wasn’t just being paired up as Javier’s wife that worried you. You had people you could confide in for that, with or without damage to your pride. No, your other anxiety was something that you wouldn’t admit to another soul. The whole backstory that you were going to have, being a working girl, was something that was going to be hard to fabricate because you didn’t have a lot of knowledge in that area. You knew what you had to say and what to do; you were inexperienced, not innocent. You were just concerned that you weren’t going to be able to pull a convincing act, putting you and Javier into danger.

And you were partially afraid that you would have to do some things that you’d never done before, but instead of it being with someone you trusted, it would be with random gross men at a random gross party. You’d never touched someone in an intimate manner before, and the thought of doing it tonight worried you deeply. You knew that Dutch wouldn’t make you use your body in that way, but things happen, and you were always determined to get what you wanted.

You just hoped that it wouldn’t go that far.

You felt Miss Grimshaw pause a moment, smoothing down the back of your dress with her hands. “You know, he’s sweet on you too.”

Temporarily forgetting your personal worries, you stiffened under her touch. “Alright, now you’re just tryin’ to make me feel better. And you’re startin’ to sound like Mary-Beth.”

“I’m serious! You don’t see the way he stares after you, or hear the way he’s constantly askin’ me about you. Trust me when I say he’s sweet on you too.”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded.

She muttered something under her breath before she was turning you around, forcing you to face her. “I’m just sayin’, tonight would be a good night to test the waters.”

How were you supposed to tell her that you were scared to get close to him?

“Now you’re really startin’ to sound like Mary-Beth.” You felt her fiddle with the neckline of your dress, pulling it down even lower. You let out an indignant squawk, slapping her hands away. “Any further down and I’m gonna get arrested!”

Holding her hands up, she scoffed and rolled her eyes, but there was no real bite behind it. “Now, you sit right here and put these on,” she gestured to the stool behind you, and handed you a delicate pair of deep red heels. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

Complying, you tried your best to sit down, but found it quite hard to do so. The corset dug even further into your skin, so you ended up having to do a weird crouch on the stool. It was uncomfortable, but it worked, and you were able to slip off your old boots to put on the new shoes. The leather was stiff, practically brand new, and you knew that your feet would be blistering by the end of the night.

True to her word, she was back momentarily, her arms full of products that she dumped on to the nearby bed. You realized now that you were Arthur’s tent, the canvas pulled down to give you space to change. You’d have to thank him later.

Miss Grimshaw got to work, dusting your cheeks with pink blush and painting your lips with a deep red rouge, which matched the color of your dress. A thin line of black kohl was applied to your upper eye, and you tried your best to not blink as she worked. When she was satisfied with your makeup, she got to work on your hair, pinning it up into a fashionable yet simple updo. Without having your hair to hide behind, your chest felt even more exposed.

The whole process took about thirty minutes, the evening sun beginning to set when you stood. Your mind was racing the entire time, and you were grateful that Miss Grimshaw didn’t try to distract you with small talk. You needed time to prepare yourself, and she gave it to you.

She presented you with a small handheld mirror, and you were finally able to see yourself since the ordeal first began. You had to admit that Miss Grimshaw did a fantastic job at getting you dolled up, a newfound confidence calming your racing heart. The blush was placed in just the right way to emphasize your face shape, and the rouge made your lips look full and plush. Even the updo worked well with your features, drawing attention instead of hiding them.

Taking a step back until you were able to see more of your body in the mirror, and you had to stifle a gasp. Everything about you screamed lust, from the way the corset hugged your hips, to the way it pushed up your breasts, causing them to nearly spill over. The deep red of the dress, like you saw, matched perfectly with your lips, the velvety material pleasant to the touch. Thin black lace lined the sweetheart neckline, the material surprisingly soft against your skin. The black lace pattern continued down the bodice, continuing in places down the skirt, which halted right at your ankles. There weren’t any sleeves on the dress, and you felt Miss Grimshaw place something into your hands: two elbow length gloves the same color of the dress.

Quickly sliding them on, you felt her clip some ruby earring to your ears. She stepped back, a pleased smile on her face that mirrored your own. “I told Javier that it would fit!” She exclaimed, and you gave her a confused look.

“He picked it out. Although, I don't believe he thought it would be this… revealing.”

“He… He bought this for me?” Your cheeks were as dark as the dress.

“He picked out every part of that dress, had it handcrafted just for you.”

You pushed down the emotions that threatened to overwhelm you. All of this had to cost so much! Instead of facing your heart, however, you put on an air of annoyance, placing your hands on your hips. “So he knew ‘bout this job, but I didn’t?”

She didn’t respond, but the smirk on her lips told you everything you needed to know. “You found out in time, didn’t you? Now,” he clapped her hands together, and grabbed the final item off the bed. It was a small black clutch, and you watched her place the rouge in there before handing it to you. Inside, alongside the rouge you saw a small tooth comb, one you recognized to be a knife in disguise, along with a small handkerchief.

You gratefully took it, tucking it under your arm. You went to try and leave the tent, but you felt her stop you with a hand on your wrist. Before you could register what she was doing, she had sprayed a few spurts of perfume on you, the floral scent ticking your nose, nearly causing you to sneeze. She let go of you then, practically shoving you out of Arthur’s tent, your new shoes catching on the mud.

Blinking away the setting sunlight that blinded you, you were startled when a loud wolf-whistle cut through the camp, causing you to nearly drop your clutch. Sean stood a few feet away, unabashedly staring at you as you walked out of the tent. “Nice fuckin’ tits, lass!” He said it so loud, and if people hadn’t turned their heads at the whistle, they sure were looking now.

You flipped him off, a scowl crossing your features as you marched away. He didn’t get the hint, and you knew that he was trailing after you. “Hey, don’t be like that now!” He was very clearly drunk, stumbling over his steps, nearly falling face first a few times.

Standing at the center of camp, you crossed your arms, trying your best to cover your chest. “Fuck off, Sean.” You glanced around, and you found a few pairs of eyes on you. Some of the looks were kind, like from Arthur and Hosea, who regarded you without any lecherous intent behind their eyes. You heard Hosea comment on how you cleaned up nice, and Arthur, who sat next to him, nodded in agreement. Smiling warmly at them in response, you felt a tad bit less exposed.

“Well that ain’t no talk for a lady. Where's your manners?”

Fighting the urge to shove him away from you, you smiled with malice. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” you put on your best posh voice, resting your hand over your heart. “Please fuck off, Sean.” Not giving him time to respond, you stalked over to the other side of camp, where you saw Tilly, Karen, Mary-Beth, and Abigail gathered around one of the fires. Clemens Points had its advantages, the multiple fireplaces away from the men in the center of camp being one of them. You did a quick detour, stopping by your belongings and grabbing a silver ring, tucking it into the clutch, before heading over to the girls.

Wolf-whistles and cheers left the girls' lips, and you put on a little show as you made our way over. Instead of feeling degraded like you did with Sean, you felt confident. You halted in front of them, doing a little spin with an almost proud smile on your face.

“Goddamn, girl! Where’ve you been hidin’ all that?” Karen teased, and you waved her away. “You look incredible!”

“I feel incredible,” you beamed.

“Where did you get that dress? It looks so expensive!” Tilly commented, and you moved close enough so they could feel the material, letting out unanimous content noises when they felt how soft it was.

“Well…” you almost didn’t want to tell them, knowing their reactions were going to be extreme. They knew you had feelings for Javier, and this was just going to add fuel to their conspiracy that he felt the same. “Javier got it for me.”

Stunned silence was all there was, until they all erupted at the same time, questions and comments spilling from them so quickly that you couldn’t even hope to process them. Rolling your eyes, you pulled away from them, your skirts falling back around you.

”Javier bought it?” Mary-Beth was eating this whole situation up. “Does that mean… are you two…?”

“No. He was just being nice.”

The girls gave each other knowing looks, and you watched as Karen rolled her eyes, and Mary-Beth gave you a disbelieving look. “Now, I know you ain’t dumb, but you’re makin’ it really hard to say that,” Karen muttered, and you scoffed.

“I’m serious! He was just being nice, nothin’ else!”

“Sure,” Tilly laughed. “Keep tellin’ yourself that.”

You glanced over at Abigail, the one person who had yet to say anything yet. “Abi, please, tell them.”

She sighed, setting the embroidery that she was working on in her lap. “Well, it’s not a simple friendly gesture to buy someone a dress like that…”

You groaned. “You were supposed to be on my side.”

Abigail just shrugged, barely able to hide a laugh. “Did he just buy the dress, or…” she gestured to your earrings.

Whatever expression that was on your face was a sufficient enough answer for the girls, who in turn began to laugh. “So, not only did he buy you a beautiful dress, but he also bought you earrings? He’s in love.” Mary-Beth said in almost a sing-song manner.

“He is. Don’t you dare try to argue otherwise,” Karen threatened.

“I…” you trailed off, defeated. “Even if he is, nothin’ is gonna come from it! Don’t get those ideas in my head!”

“We are doing nothin’ of the sort. We’re just stating the facts.” Tilly’s eyes flicked to something behind you, and you watched her playfully smile. “But if you don’t believe us, why don’t you go ask him?” She pointed behind you, and you turned your head. Javier was indeed there, but luckily his back was turned to your group, in the middle of a conversation with Dutch and Hosea.

Even from the glimpse you got, you knew he was dressed up well, a black blazer fitting tightly to his form, accentuating his shoulders and tapering down nicely to his waist. His pants matched color wise, and were just as tight as the jacket, doing little to hide the thick swell of his thighs, and his ass-

Someone clearing their throat had you turning your head back around, finding a group of amused girls waiting for you. Karen produced a handkerchief, practically throwing it at you. “For your drool,” she smirked, and you felt your ears burn. You hadn’t meant to be that obvious with your ogling.

“Shuddup,” you threw the cloth back at her, and she laughed uproariously, the other girls joining in as well.

“Why don’t you tell him?” Abigail asked, a sincere curiosity in her question. “You’re obviously both taken with each other, and even if he wasn’t, it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Rather you get your heart broken and know then spend the rest of your life wonderin’.”

“I-I’m not quite sure. I’ve never had a relationship before, and I guess I’m just scared of them, I guess. I don’t wanna do somethin’ wrong. And besides, he’s a ladies man, suave, a charmer. And I’m just… me. I’m rather boring compared to him, and I don’t wanna make him feel, I dunno, trapped with me.” You weren’t quite sure how to explain to the girls that you feared he might find your lack of experience unappealing, how he would want someone that could keep up with him. Additionally, you felt ashamed to admit your fear of intimacy after hearing your entire life that it was something you should want. And you do want it, but you couldn’t. Not yet, anyway.

“Just do somethin’ before you can’t, alright?”

You watched again as Tilly looked behind you, nudging Mary-Beth who sat beside her, and the two of them shared a look. “What?”

“Oh, nothin’,” they smiled, yet they kept their eyes locked behind you.

“Please don’t tell me he’s comin’ over here.” Their responding giggles told you that, yes, Javier was indeed making his way toward your group.

“Do not say anythin’. Especially you,” you pointed at Karen, and she held up her hands in defense.

“Hey, I’m just sick of seein’ the two of you dance around each other.”

“We are not-” you pinched the bridge of your nose, annoyed. “Why does everything keep thinkin’ that?”

“Because we’re not blind. Now,” Karen did a spinning motion with her finger, “go greet your ‘husband’.”

Looking over your shoulder, you saw that he was only a few feet away, a warm smile gracing his features when you made eye contact. You reciprocated, trying your best to not look as nervous as you felt.

As you did a quick scan over his body, you felt your heart rate pick up. He looked good, which he always did, but even more so now. Wearing a simple white button up under the black jacket, you saw ruby cufflinks peek out, and you noticed some more details now that he was closer. The inside of the jacket was a deep red, similar to your dress, and was made of a very fine looking silk, and his usual red necktie was around his neck. A gold pocket watch hung from his vest, and you were shocked when you noticed that it looked exactly like the bodice of your own dress. Upon closer examination, you realized that it was indeed made out of the same fabric of your dress.

By this point he had reached your side, standing close enough next to you that could feel his heat, the scent of his cologne filling your senses. You were glad for the dimming light, as it made it harder to see the darkening of your cheeks. If this is what your reaction was to him simply standing next to you, then you had no idea how you were going to react when he was pretending you were his wife.

“Hello, Javier.” Was your voice shaking? You’re certain it was.

“Hello, ‘wife’,” he winked, laughing when you scoffed. Thankfully he didn’t seem to catch the way you blushed even deeper. “Good evening, ladies,” he nodded to the other girls by the campfire. They responded in unison, but you noticed that Javier didn’t pay them much mind, his eyes only on you. “You ready to go?”

When you nodded, he held a palm up for you, which you grasped gently in your gloved hand. And because of course he had to, you watched as he bowed slightly, kissing the back of your hand with soft reverence. He kept his eyes on yours the entire time, making the act feel more intimate than it was. He’s just playing the part, calm yourself. Forcing down the panic, you watched the edges of his eyes crinkle when you giggled lightly, a smile on his lips when he stood upright. You felt him keep his grip on your hand, tugging you away from the girls, who called on you to have a good night between giggles.

As Javier led you away, your hands interlocked, you felt him lean close to you. “Do you like the dress?”

You secured the clutch under your arm. “I love the dress! Thank you, Javier. For everything,”

He shrugged with an uncharacteristically bashful smile, but it was quickly replaced with his usual confident one as he leaned closer to you again. “You look beautiful, mi amor.”

You’d heard him use that last phrase with you before, its frequency increasing over the last couple of months. You had no idea what it meant, and every time you asked he would change the subject. Even when you asked the others around camp, they refused to tell you, a look on their faces that you couldn’t quite recognize.

“So do you. I mean, you always do…”

“Do I, now?” You could hear the smugness dripping from his voice.

“Oh, hush,” you shoved him with your shoulder, finding yourself barely able to move the man as you slowly walked, still getting used to your new shoes. You hadn’t meant to say that much.

“No, no, tell me more,” he laughed, and you shook your head, laughing as well.

“I ain’t inflatin’ your ego any more, Mr. Escuella. I’m sure someone else will do that for you.”

“Sure. But I want to hear it from you.”

“Nope.” You emphasized the p sound with a pop of your lips. “My lips are sealed.”

With his free hand, you watched as he placed it over his heart, feigning hurt. “You wound me. I thought you loved me.”

His comment had you panicking, but you hid it behind a laugh. Did he know? Did someone tell him? Oh God, please don’t let him know.

He continued, unaware of your current inner turmoil. “My ‘wife’, refusing to compliment me. It’s outrageous!”

Right. He was just playing into the role again. With an inaudible sigh of relief, you were able to calm your thoughts. “Well, if our backstory is to be believed, then there ain’t much to compliment you on.”

Javier barked out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s the story we’re running with, aren’t we. Rich husband and dissatisfied wife.” The mirth in his eyes dissolved into something more serious, something more… amorous. “It’ll be a hard role for me to play, because I could never leave you unsatisfied.”

“What do… oh.” You were at a loss for words, and the intensity of his gaze had you melting. It wasn’t the first time that Javier had flirted with you, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it was the first time he’d ever teased the idea of the two of you being intimate. It’s not that you were fully opposed to the idea, but it scared you. Actually, it terrified you. Throat suddenly dry, you cleared it, no doubt looking quite taken aback. “Well, I-”

“Oh, so he gets treated kindly, but I get told to ‘fuck off’’,” Seans loud complaining had you snapping your head to the side, the moment between the two of you shattered. You hadn’t even realized you were back in the main camp, too engrossed in your conversation with Javier.

Glaring at the red haired man, you flipped him off again, and you heard the man beside you chuckle. “And I’ll say it again. Fuck. Off.”

“Y’know what, lass, I’ve tried bein’ nice-” “Complimentin’ a woman’s tits ain’t nice, Sean.”

Anger flashed across his features, and he started making his way toward the two of you, still as drunk as he was moments ago. Stiffening your shoulders, you braced yourself for confrontation, balling your free hand into a fist. Sean’s attention was momentarily taken off you, his eyes going behind you. Whatever he saw must’ve frightened him, his normally pale face going even paler. “I- Well… have a good night then.” He quickly scurried away, leaving you very confused. Glancing back at Javier, you failed to notice him tucking his knife away, hidden under the layers of clothing.

“What was that all about?” You asked him, falling back into a casual stance. He shrugged, and you grinned. “Guess I’m just that scary, then.”

“Oh, yes. You’re terrifying,” he jested, sarcasm evident in his voice.

“Hey!” You slapped him on the shoulder, and he snickered. “I’m plenty scary. Have you seen me with a knife?”

“Honestly, I’m more scared of seeing what you’ll do to yourself than anyone else.”

You scoffed, but you were still smiling. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to teach me.” You definitely weren’t coming up with an excuse to be with him more, and you definitely weren’t coming up with an excuse to watch his dexterous fingers work their magic with a blade.

Javier had a soft look on his face. “I guess I will, then.”

The rest of your short walk to the edge of camp near the entrance was done in easy silence, and you were about to ask how exactly you were getting to the party, but it was answered when you saw a two-horse carriage pull into the camp, with a very discontent looking Bill atop it. He stopped a few feet from the two of you, annoyance evident in his body language.

“What kind of party are we goin’ to that we need a carriage? And how the hell did we get one?”

“An expensive one. And you’re asking a group of thieves how they got their hands on a carriage?”

“Fair point,” you laughed, laughing even harder when you saw how absolutely ridiculous Bill looked. He was dressed in a suit as well, but it was very clearly a size too small, the pants riding up far enough to expose what felt like half of his lower leg. A large top hat sat on his head, with a single, meager looking feather sticking out of it, bent in all the wrong directions. A scowl crossed his face when he saw you laughing, and you tried to hide it behind your hand.

“Whatcha laughin’ at?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” you gestured to his whole getup.

“Ain’t my fault the old driver was short. And don’t go laughin’ just yet, I’m the one gettin’ you to the damn party.”

“You’re right. My apologies,” you sighed. “How ‘bout this. To make it up to you, I’ll see if I can’t steal some whiskey. The expensive stuff.”

You saw that he pretty much immediately made up his mind, but he still took the time to think, just for the sake of it. “Fine. But I don’t wanna hear another laugh from you.”

You nodded as Javier brought you to the side of the carriage, opening the door for you. Helping you into the carriage with the hand that held yours, you quickly sat down, adjusting the skirt to rest comfortably around you. There wasn’t much you could do for the bodice, the frame of it digging into your skin, but you refrained from grimacing. You expected Javier to follow in after you, but he didn’t, simply stepping back and slowly closing the door.

“You ain’t gettin’ in?”

He shook his head. “Not just yet. I gotta go talk to Arthur before we set off.”

In all honesty, you had completely forgotten that your friend was accompanying the two of you. “Is he riding in here with us or…?” The carriage was big enough for two, and you’re sure you could squeeze a third person in if you tried hard enough.

He shook his head again. “He’ll be riding behind us on horseback. He’s security, after all.”

Nodding, you settled back into your seat, at least as best you could. “All right. Well,” you shooed him, “I won’t hold you up any longer.”

Smiling gently, he closed the door, lacking shut with a soft click. It was eerily silent within the carriage, and you were sure that you could scream, and no one outside the carriage would be able to hear you. All the sounds from outside, from the chirping of crickets to the water lapping at the shore were silenced, leaving only your labored breathing and your thudding heart.

Glancing out the window, you were able to see the receding figure of Javier, most of his form indistinguishable in the dimming light. Like every other time you interacted with Javier, you were going back over the conversation in your head, overanalyzing everything that you said and did, pinpointing moments where you should’ve said something different, or just kept your mouth shut all together.

But now you found yourself thinking over what he said. You were replaying the moment where he called you beautiful, following it up with that one phrase that, whenever he said it, had a look in his eye that almost seemed like�� longing? You weren’t quite sure.

The sincerity behind his words had you temporarily questioning everything that you knew about your relationship with the man, but you quickly pushed those thoughts away. You were scared, to be honest, to imagine the two of you as anything more than friends. Because what if you were better off as friends, a romantic relationship ruining whatever connection you had. What if he found you boring, or he grew to disdain you?

Why couldn’t things be simple? Why were you so scared of getting close to him, so scared of him touching you? Why couldn’t you be more confident and straightforward with your advances? Why couldn’t you just tell him how you felt and hope it all works out?

Groaning, your head rolled back, hitting the wall of the vehicle. You still watched him, a black silhouette that had his back turned to you, deep in conversation with Arthur, who was standing next to his horse.

The click of the door had you snapping out of your thoughts, straightening up immediately. Javier greeted you with a small smile as he climbed in, stopping mid-way when he heard Arthur shout something at him, which you weren’t able to make out. Javier rolled his eyes, and you thought he was blushing for a moment, but you played it off as a trick of the light.

“What did Arthur say?” You laughed as Javier settled into his seat across from you. The carriage was large enough to fit two people, sure, but you still felt his knees brush against yours. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through you, nearly causing you to jump.

“He was just being a fool. It doesn't matter.” He clearly didn’t want to continue talking about it, so you let it drop, ignoring the curiosity nagging at you. “Are you ready?”

As I’ll ever be. “Yes.”

In response, you heard him knock loudly on the window, signaling for Bill to start moving. The carriage suddenly moving caught you off guard, causing you to fall forward. You caught yourself, your hands on his knees. You didn’t hear the light gasp that came from Javier, smiling sheepishly as you righted yourself, placing your hands back on your lap, securing your clutch there. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” His voice was breathless, and you figured that he was nervous as well.

“So, tell me about this party.”

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

It was about a twenty minute ride to Saint Denis, where the party was being held. It was one similar to the one Arthur, Dutch, and some of the others went to a few weeks prior, happening in one of the extravagant houses that lay on the edge of the town. The owner of the house, one Lee Edward Reginald III, was known to have bonds that he constantly bragged about to anyone who asked, apparently worth a fortune.

The two of you formulated your story during the drive. Your names were William and Anna Howard, and the two of you had been married for two years. Hailing from a small town east of New Austin called Fairington, the two of you had stuck it rich when you found a vast supply of oil under your homestead. The two of you had traveled all this way to hopefully establish business partners in the west, and to begin creating a name for yourselves in the more “civilized” Saint Denis.

You saw a wooden sign that marked you were close to Saint Denis, and you felt your anxiety begin to return. Trying to calm yourself, you repeated in your head that this was no different than any other con job you’ve done, and you weren’t nervous before those. This should be no exception.

“So, how did we meet?” Javier’s question halted your spiraling.

“Hm?”

“How did we meet? Someone’s bound to ask.”

“I think the story Miss Grimshaw told me is that I used to be a working girl, and we met at the bar when I tried to offer my services.”

“Not too different from how we actually met, no?”

You laughed. “The only similarities between our stories is that we met at a bar. From what I remember, you tried to rob me as I drank alone.”

“I thought you were an easy target. I was mistaken,” he rubbed the side of his face where you had punched him all that time ago. “And I didn’t realize you had robbed me until way after.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever returned that ring back to you. How many months ago was that? Seven? Eight?”

“Something like that,” he smiled, reminiscing over your less than pleasant meeting. You’d joined the gang not long after, Javier having recommended you to Dutch himself. If anyone could rob a member of the Van Der Linde gang and get away with it, they deserved a place with them.

“That reminds me…” you reached for your clasp, pulling out the ring you grabbed earlier. You almost wanted to slide the ring on his finger yourself, but instead you held it out to him in your palm. “A married man’s gotta have a ring, right?”

Gingerly taking it from your hand, you watched him examine it in the low light, shock causing him to laugh lightly. “You still had it? I would’ve thought you sold it already.”

You shrugged. “I just kept forgettin’ to sell it.” The truth was that you couldn’t bring yourself to sell it, always tucking it away whenever you’d bring your haul to the fence. Eventually, you just kept it with your small pile of belongings in the small lean-to tent you shared with some of the girls, a small token to remember him by. You’re not sure why it meant so much to you, but it brought a smile to your lips every time you saw it. “You can keep it, after we’re done.”

“No, you earned it. I’ll make sure you get it back.”

You held back a sigh of relief, having grown surprisingly sentimental toward the piece of jewelry. “So, how long did it take you to notice it was gone?”

“An embarrassingly long time,” he rescinded. You weren’t satisfied with that answer, and you raised a challenging brow at him. He sighed. “About ten minutes after you left.”

A loud bark of laughter left you. “I took it from you right as we started talking! And we talked for, what, half an hour? It took you that long?”

“In my defense, I was distracted.”

“How? If I remember, you weren’t even drunk.”

“All my attention was on the gorgeous woman in front of me. Someone could’ve held up the place, and I wouldn’t have even noticed.”

“Sure, I looked real pretty,” you rolled your eyes, fighting back a smile. “With the mud in my hair, and the scraps I was wearin’, I’m sure I was the prize woman of the town.”

“You didn’t have mud in your hair,” he laughed. “It was on your face.”

“Oh, that's much better, then.”

He laughed, his mustache following the movement of his lips as he smiled. “Even if you were covered in dirt, or if you were dolled up like you are, I’d still think you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.” It was now that you wished he was sitting next to you, rather than in front of you, just so you didn’t have to feel his eyes on you.

“Really?” It sounded less confident than you’d like, sounding more like disbelief than anything. You knew you were pretty, but to hear it from him made you believe it with full certainty.

“Would I lie to you?” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. When you shook your head, you felt him gently grab your hand, holding it palm-up in his own. Instinctively, you pulled it away, and you immediately regretted it, even more so when you saw the hurt and confused look on his face.

“I…” you swallowed, shame burning your face. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” he laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “You confuse me. I can’t tell if you want me too, or if you’re disgusted by me. I honestly cannot tell.”

So he did feel the same. Swallowing, you mustered enough courage to set your hand back in his. “I do want you, Javier. I really do. It’s just… I’m scared.” Your voice was barely louder than a whisper, yet it sounded like you were shouting to your ears.

“What are you scared of?” His question wasn’t judgemental, simply wanting to know.

“It’s real stupid,” you sighed, no longer being able to look him in the eye.

“Mi amor, look at me. Please.” When you did, he smiled reassuringly at you. “Tell me. I want to help you.”

God, why was he so sweet? And how was he able to crash down the walls you build up in your mind, to never tell another soul about your fears? You turned your hand so that you could grasp his fingers lightly. “I’m scared of this,” you shook his hand. “I’m scared of your touch. And I’m scared of changin’ what we have.” When he started pulling his hand away, you gripped his hand tighter, keeping him there. “But I want it so badly. And I want you, so, so badly. ”

He certainly looked confused now. “I’m trying to understand, I really am, but…” he trailed off, his brow furrowing.

“It’s like, whenever I feel your hands on me, my heart is elated, but my brain freaks out, and not in a good way. And I guess I’m afraid that you ain’t gonna like what you see when you get close to me.” Both physically and personality wise. When you were met with silence, you were mentally berating yourself for practically dumping your issues on the poor man. “Look, if this just changed the way you feel, I understand.”

“I never said that. It doesn’t change anything.” His words were short, but he wasn’t angry. “But I guess I’m just curious as to why?”

“Because I-”

A loud rapping on the glass cut you off, and you jumped slightly. Bill stood on the other side of the window, looking pissed off. It finally occurred to you that you had reached your destination, the carriage long since halted. With a sigh, Javier leaned back, pulling his hand away, giving you a look that says we’ll finish this conversation later.

As he got out, your mind was reeling. He felt the same way towards you, but you didn’t know if you should feel elated or terrified. You didn’t know what was worse, having feelings for someone and them not knowing, or having feelings that were reciprocated and being too afraid to do anything about it.

Sighing, you barely noticed him holding out a hand expectantly to you. You hadn’t budged from the carriage, pretty much forgetting about the party. Sucking in a breath, you took his hand, letting him help you out.

The heels of your shoes clicked pleasantly against the cobbled street as your feet made contact with the ground. Looking around, you saw that Bill had parked the two of you a block away, giving you plenty of time to prepare yourselves.You could hear the music from the party already, a lively jig mixed with laughter and cheers. Waving goodbye to Bill, he left the two of you alone. Quickly, you took out the rouge, applying it to your lips with practiced movement, not even needing to look in a mirror. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Javier watch you, looking away when you focused your attention on him.

Tucking the clutch in your hand, you took in a deep breath. “Arthur’s already there. Ready?” You heard the man beside you ask, and you nodded. He began to move, resting a hand on the small of your back to lead you, before almost immediately retracting it.

“Are… Is that alright?”

“It doesn’t matter right now. We’ve got a job to do.” Javier opened his mouth, ready to protest, but you cut him off. “I appreciate it, I really do, but right now we just gotta pretend that the conversation we just had didn’t happen.”

Nodding, you felt his touch return, but not where it was. Instead, you felt him link his arm through yours, and he continued to lead you toward the party. “You’re almost worse than Arthur, refusin’ to touch me anywhere else than my arm.” You joked, attempting to diffuse the tension.

“Does he know?”

You shook your head, and the two of you fell into a semi-uneasy silence. You could tell that Javier was overthinking things. “Don’t worry too much, Javier. I knew what was going to happen tonight. Do what you need to do in order to pull a convincing act.” When he didn’t respond, you glanced over at him. He smiled back at you, but it didn’t reach his eyes. You leaned in to him. “You do remember I said I did want your hands on me, right?”

He relaxed a bit. “I do.”

The two of you were growing closer to your destination, the music growing louder and louder. “I think the only reason why I’m scared is because it’s… unknown to me. You know when you’ve never done something, and it seems terrifying, and then you do it and it turns out it ain’t all that bad? That’s what it is.” You took a moment to breathe. “So, basically what I’m tryin’ to say is I’m alright with you touchin’ me tonight. Please.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded. “I trust you, Javier.”

Deep brown eyes peered into your eyes, looking for any uncertainty. When he found none, he relaxed even further, and you watched as the smile now reached his eyes. “Only tonight?”

There he was. There was the confident, flirtatious man you’d fallen for.

You laughed. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Mr. Escuella.”

He tsked, shaking his head. “I don’t know a Mr. Escuella. Are you cheating on me, my dear wife?”

You dramatically gasped in horror. “I would never, Mr. Howard! You insult me by merely suggesting the idea!”

The two of you fell into laughter, and you felt the hand around yours move back to your back, rubbing soothingly there. For the first time, you felt yourself not immediately wanting to jump away, and you instead settled against him.

As the two of you walked into the party, you ignored the eyes that immediately jumped to you, eyes racking over your body in a less than kind way, from both men and women. All that you could see right now was the soft way Javier regarded you, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Pressing yourself against him so that he was holding you in a side hug, you felt him brush his lips atop your head, so lightly that you would barely call it a kiss. But the gesture had you melting, nearly turning into a puddle on the floor.

You saw Arthur out of the corner of your eye, in the middle of a conversation with some rich looking folk, and you regarded him with a small smile, and it barely even noticed by the other man. The hand on your back tugged slightly, pulling you alongside Javier as he led you toward the group with Arthur in it. Javier introduced himself, and you shook hands as well, introducing yourself with the names you’d come up with.

As Javier talked, you found yourself zoning out, too distracted by the hand on your back to join in fully on the conversation. You failed to notice the way that the other men, besides Arthur, ogled you unabashedly, and you felt his hand curl around your waist, fingers wrapping around your waist and pulling you tighter to him.

Despite what you thought, you found that you were at ease, not even a hint of feeling uncomfortable. A warm feeling settled in your chest, something that you always felt when you thought of Javier. But it was turning into an inferno, threatening to consume you, taking over every thought and feeling in your body.

You were so in love with him.

Before you could even register what you were doing, you rested your hand on his back. Javier was clearly not expecting this, based on the way he stiffened, but you felt him relax instantly. You could hear the way his tone changed as he talked, barely able to fight a smile.

But what shocked you the most is that you found yourself wanting more. And you wanted it now. Every nerve in your body craved his touch, and you were finding it harder and harder to detach yourself from him. And you were supposed to pretend that you didn’t want him?

It was going to be a long party.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #javier escuella #javier escuella x reader #javier escuella rdr2 #javier escuella x you #amazing writing #super good stuff #read it #fic rec

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