#sunfish are lovely little dudes

[snowflakeeel]

Lepomis Bracket

Battle of the TRUE Sunfish

Orange Spot Sunfish (Lepomis humilis) ^

Bluegill (Lepomis macrochirus) ^

Warmouth  (Lepomis gulosus) ^

Longear Sunfish (Lepomis megalotis) ^

Redear Sunfish (Lepomis microlophus) ^

Pumpkinseed  (Lepomis gibbosus) ^

Green Sunfish (Lepomis cyanellus) ^

They are all great fish but which one is the BEST fish? Vote now on your phones!

[thenativetank]

Rating lures based on the accuracy to the species they protray:

Okay so I've posted a few posts now on some disappointing lures so I wanted to do the cool ones this time. These would be Orangspotted Sunfish which a) are my fave centrarchids, and b) are a cool fish overall. The body coloration reflects non-breeding colors which is certainly less vibrant, but pretty accurate overall. This is a fun guy I'd love to have as a pet. 9/10.

Pikes are so rare as lures I wanted to include them. The shape? Chef's kiss. The packaging gives the tail a weird kind of shape but we shouldn't judge one based on the conditions in which they are forced to live. The colors I'm less wild on. The patterning says Northern Pike but the specific colors seem to suggest Redfin Pickerel. Are you a hybrid, little dude? Let's say 7/10.

These fellas are Notropis spp. shiners, likely Rainbow Shiners (N. chrosomus). From the body color to the blue gill plates, these are pretty spot on. Most Rainbows have a dark horizontal stripe along the lateral line where these have pale, but you can find both patterns in this species. 10/10 I love them.

What a pretty guy! Labeled as a Bluegill, this lure is an inch or so long; with that in mind, these are adult colors, not juvenile colors. The white in there is also not accurate. But I like him! He gets an 8/10 from me.

You know, though Yellow Perch lures are a dime a dozen, I think these are pretty close to the mark. The colors (especially the orange) is a little neon-y and the head is an odd white color, but I think they have a nice mix of realistic and eye catching. 7/10

[bonefall]

What’s Whitefang up to in your au? Does he still exist? Does he have a family? I would like to know everything >:D

Also I drew something for your millie collar au but idk if it got eaten by the void or not, I sent it in I’m pretty sure

[ID: Dragonclaw and Whitefang from the Better Bones AU. Whitefang is laying on his back with a smug grin. Dragonclaw is looking at him with love.]

Your background blorbo got married to the cat with the coolest name in warriors. I needed them for the RiverClan Family Tree to make sure I had enough diversity to cross the Missing Generation Fog and ended up making a neat little power couple out of them!

Their children are Duckfur and Greenflower. Duckfur is killed in a fight over Sunningrocks in early TNP, and Greenflower was Sedgecreek's mate for many years before a cat divorce in late TNP.

Whitefang

His sister was Brightsky, making him Leopardstar's maternal uncle!

I think he has one of the coolest canon designs in warriors tbh so I didn't stray much. I just gave him this sleek, doberman-ish face with cool teeth.

Also his back paw boots go up a little further because Catboy Stockings is a VERY funny concept.

You ever notice how much Whitefang looks like a fanon design for a lynxpoint Hawkfrost? I dooo

He wasn't very scheming though, in fact he was a straightforward dude and a good teacher.

He helped his wife when they were young, she was a drypaw just like Leopard so Crookedstar hoped he would work his magic again.

I do not respect Leopardstar's Hacksaw and I'm willing to totally overhaul his death, but dying in a battle for Sunningrocks is fitting.

The patrol that kills Sunfish has been totally redone. It was THISTLECLAW taunting RiverClan as Redtail tried to tell him to knock it off, and Leopardfur killed him for mauling Sunfish.

So there's not really a need for Whitefang to be on that particular run.

It's likely that Whiteclaw died sometime in TPB, either during TigerClan or just before.

His specialties were teaching and hunting.

Dragonclaw

She is a rescued Missing Kit! Dragonflykit was the stillborn child of Greenflower, along with her brother Duckkit. Instead, I've made them her mother and a brother.

I dropped the 'fly' part of Dragonfly. In Clanmew it's all one word anyway. They're beloved and respected animals, excellent and agile hunters.

It is suspected that Dragon was the result of a half-clan crossing, or maybe found somewhere. She looks nothing like a RiverClan cat.

HUGE and sleek-furred, she's all muscle with a short tail and really big teeth, with huge ears that make her get cold really fast.

She is a trash-tier swimmer because of that, she sinks like a rock and can barely steer.

She was terrified of water for a while, but Whitefang was there to help her out. She can stay safe in the river but prefers marsh hunting and net-fishing.

Probably taken out by sickness, sometime shortly after Duck and Green became apprentices.

Her specialties are construction and brawling.

[generic-whumperz]

Saw the “trying to start a normal conversation” meme - love those topics as well.

Can you name a cryptid that you think is cool, and how whumpable it is on a scale of 1-10?

First of all, THANK YOU for sending me this, it has made my week! I have been dying to talk about the intersection of whump and cryptids—two of my favorite topics! I am always down to talk about cryptids and paranormal happenings, so if anyone has more questions, toss ‘em my way!

Right off the bat, the most whumpable cryptid that comes to mind is the Fresno Nightcrawler. Look how dumb and soft these things look:

Screenshots taken from this video

It’s just a weird blob of legs? Not only do they look ridiculous, but you could easily snare one in a bear trap since all they do is walk around like dumb little smooth brained idiots. These things are the equivalent of a sunfish (equally whumpable).

Whumpability score: 10/10

Cool score: 5/10 (they look ethereal but there’s not a whole lot else going on here)

This may be controversial, but an honorable mention of most whumpable cryptid is going to have to go to Skinny Bob:

Images taken from Google

You’re telling me this dude doesn’t look like someone’s go-to Little Guy™️ they routinely torture or put through precarious situations and have kidnapped for ransom money; or the Youngest™️ who gets taken by Villain™️ and the Whole Team™️ has to work together to save them? Or the recently discovered creature that Evil Scientist™️ captures and performs gruesome experiments on? He’s getting whumped in multiple situations!

Skinny Bob is Whumpee™️ confirmed.

Whumpability score: 6/10 (he’s an alien so you always run the risk of having more of them show up. We also don’t know what he’s storing in that massive dome of his—maybe it’s secrets to the universe, or maybe it’s the mental power to make things explode? Additionally, he was rumored to be in cahoots with the Russian government? Either way, suspicious. And he does have hands and those long ass arms to try to fight you off, but he’s clearly not hitting the weights because those things are pool noodles at best.)

Cool score: 10/10

P.S. I engage with cryptozoology, myths and legends, and paranormal encounters for entertainment purposes only. Is this shit real? I have no idea, and I don’t care. That’s not the point, I’m here for the fun and whimsy. There’s no harm in indulging in the unknown. I’m not here to convince or attest to the legitimacy of these creatures. It’s not that serious, so please don’t come after me!

[my-year-of-game-boy]

Week 1: Kirby's Dream Land 2

I want to say it was a hard choice deciding what game to start this blog with. There are so many iconic games and series associated with the Game Boy that I could've went with an iconic puzzler, a launch title like Super Mario Land, or that famous monster catching series, Robopon. Honestly, though? I just shoved a game into the Analogue Pocket that I hadn't actually played before and went with that. I'm a big fan of Nintendo's ever present second-tier mascot, Kirby. Multiple round, pink toys adorn my home, a Kirby t-shirt is part of my regular rotation, and Kirby and the Forgotten Land was my number two game of 2022. Yet, there are so many games in the little fellow's catalogue that I've never played them all. I could be writing about how his first ever appearance was on this handheld, or I could write about the many hours I spent getting lost in The Amazing Mirror. Maybe I still will, but today, I have the pleasure of saying I finally played Kirby's Dream Land 2.

Most Kirby games have a gimmick, even as early as this one. Here, our favorite infant Star Warrior is joined by new, rideable animal friends. In addition to Kirby's trademark copy abilities (Of which this game is only the second time they've appeared!), the rideable gain abilities in combination with Kirby's. This creates some fun combinations, but they're hindered by trading Kirby's floating mobility for the movement of your pal.

Pray you don't get this dude on anything but a water level

As someone who's played the original Kirby's Dream Land countless times, I was surprised at the vast jump in scale, game mechanics, level design, and even difficulty between this game and that one. Sure, there was an NES game inbetween, but it's still such a jump from what might be the simplest mainstream platformer to ever grace the Game Boy.

There's some cheapness to the scrolling levels, one in particular has you essentially choosing one of three paths and desperately hoping you don't get trapped, but the rest of levels are pretty cleverly designed. Unfortunately, these levels sometimes feel designed with Kirby's floating ability in mind to the point that playing with his new pals is a detriment. Later levels had me actually avoiding taking one on from time to time because I simply didn't think it would be very helpful.

Kirby's on a roll!

There's secrets to find across the seven different worlds that lead to an optional boss fight that I may not have actually found, but I respect that they're actually there to find. Even with all the Kirby games that've been made over the years, this one's still worth a visit even today. I'd recommend it just to take a gander at Kirby's cute little buddies, even if Kine the sunfish shows up at the most inopportune times. Before I finish my inaugural entry, I'd like to make a point that, in addition to being the first game I've written about here, this is the first game I've played through in its entirety on the Analogue Pocket! So, you get a bit of a bog standard game review along with some first impressions of video game hardware! Don't worry, I plan on changing up the format and topics from entry to entry, but I figured I'd start with something a bit more traditional. Anyway, the Analogue Pocket is a lovely little device with a few issues here and there. For this game, I did take advantage of the save state function, but it's pretty finicky. The Pocket plays carts natively and doesn't use emulation, so I'm kind of amazed that it does save states at all. Unfortunately, I could only read my last save state and would accidentally write over them constantly with the quick commands to make them. For a relatively easy game like this, it was only a minor frustration, but for some real nail biters, I can see this getting pretty annoying. The games themselves look gorgeous on it and the OpenFGPA allows me to load some neat stuff that'll get mentioned in later entries. I did have a bit of hand cramping despite my small hands, and I worry about the shoulder buttons in GBA games. However, the ergonomics are otherwise great and no different than a Game Boy Pocket, really. Lastly, it's a bit of a dream just being able to easily take screenshots on the console. I'd recommend it to anyone who considers themselves a classic video game enthusiast or just has a pile of Game Boy carts they'd really like to play.

I leave you with an obligatory Rick pic.

[ilovecoelacanths]

oh my dear mutual fishyfishyfishtimes i love you and your defense of ocean sunfish. truly we are in this fight together (as much as it can be called a fight. less fighting people and more fighting misinformation) also yeah i know sometimes people say they hate things as a joke but i personally feel like there's a difference between being like "this fish is the most USELESS and DUMBEST fish ever! they SUCK and i HATE THEM" and being like "this fish looks goofy i'm going to poke fun at them a little bit"

i actually have a collection of mean things i have seen people say about the ocean sunfish (don’t ask) but yeah there are actually quite a few posts/videos that float around which are just. chock full of misinformation about the mola mola. and yeah you are correct that it seems to all trace back to that one copypasta about them (originally posted by facebook user scout burns. yes i remember the name of the person who started all this. i don't know them but i do feel a deep animosity towards them.) anyway. here are just some of the mean comments about the ocean sunfish that i have saved so i can use them as examples when people ask why i get so heated about this goofy ass fish:

(DUDE??? AN HOUR AND 18 MINUTES??? WHY???)

this is the only comment on the above video though so that's nice.

there are articles and videos and comments. but the one i hate the most. is this fucking guy on tiktok. sigh.

this guy's video has so much misinformation in it. and it's just presented like silly little fun facts. "they can't even grow right" you can't even do a little research on an animal before you make a tiktok for millions of people to see apparently! have you ever considered that this supposed inability to grow right might actually be an adaptation that actually works for them? no? okay. did you even like, read their wikipedia page before you made this? oh, what's that your caption says? inspired by a reddit rant? oh okay, i see how it is. so you didn't google them.

there's a weird amount of animosity for this fish and like. i get it, they look goofy, but cmon man can we at least spread true information about them? can people making these things just like do a quick google search and not just blindly trust some random internet copypasta? ocean sunfish ARE active swimmers and hunters, they DO eat more than just jellyfish, them lying on the surface of the water is NOT because they're stuck, and just because you don't understand an animal that doesn't mean they're lazy or useless. all animals have value, there's no such thing as an animal "having no purpose" can we PLEASE stop thinking like that. can we let animals just exist without having to defend their existence to you. and also can we talk about how silly it is to force human concepts like laziness onto a fish?

the mola mola is an awesome fish. i love you mola mola.

I can't believe people would slander ocean sunfish for having a lot of parasites. Uh, hello?? Every animal in nature has parasites dipshit, it came free with living in an ecosystem

[stargleam-star]

Time to talk about Leopardstar's Honor. Spoilers below! Also I share my controversial opinion so be aware of that too. Strap in folks, this is gonna be a long post.

Alright I am gonna start this shit off by confessing: I am not a Leopardstar fan. Like at all. But I was hoping her super edition would change my mind. It worked with Crowfeather's. So I thought "finally, I'll get to understand why everyone loves Leopardstar so much". But this book didn't change my opinion of her at all. In fact it might've made it worse. However, I do think at the very least Leopardstar was written dynamically. She's complex in that she wants what's best for the clan, but does the worst things possible and winds up getting clanmates killed as a result. Her personality sucks, but that's completely my opinion. I don't like people who think and act like she does. The whole book she was like "I'm special uwu" which is annoying. But that doesn't make her a bad character.

Beyond the characterization of Leopardstar, I think the world around her felt a little bland. Especially in compare to how it was described in Crookedstar's Promise. In that book I felt like I was actually walking through Riverclan territory with Crookedjaw. But in this super edition I felt confused at times.

Now to rant about my biggest disappointment with the book: Leopardstar's relationship with other characters. Once again the erins decided to treat foster siblings like they aren't actually family. I kinda liked that Skykit was a little shit towards Leopardkit in the beginning, but I hoped they'd grow to be close. They didn't. In fact Leopardfur barely mentions her foster siblings once she's an older apprentice then warrior, except to refer to them as clanmates. Also Frogleap was Silverstream's foster brother, yet the erins write him as having a crush on her?? Gross. I have a lot more thoughts related to Silverstream, but more on that later.

As for Frogleap, I liked him. He was charming and nice. I was constantly rooting for him to have a good life. I don't like that Leopardfur was in love with him though, it felt forced. But the erins gotta throw in an unnecessary romance somewhere so *shrug*. I liked Leopardfur's relationship with Sunfish though, I thought that was fun. Sunfish was sweet and was a good choice to be the opposite of Leopardfur. They balanced each other out. I was sad when she died. I have no feelings on Whiteclaw though tbh

I didn't like how Mudfur was portrayed in this book. I understand Leopardfur is an unreliable narrator so his behavior seems shitty on purpose. But beyond that, he just comes off as bad. He spoiled his daughter rotten from a young age, constantly telling her how special she is (which fuels her self righteousness) then when she grows up to be greedy and hot headed, he treats her like she shouldn't believe she's more special than anybody else. Like dude you created this monster, and now you're gonna do a full 180 and claim its her fault she's such a brat? Cmon dude

Next, a Silverstream rant. I really wanted Leopardfur to have more of a connection to her. They were both born under the same circumstances (mother wasn't well, and died after giving birth). Theyre both the sole survivors of their litter. Also, they were both born to an important cat in th clan, and spoiled when they were young. And so I thought, maybe Leopardfur would form a fondness for Silverstream because of all this. They could have been written as opposite sides of the same coin. Leopardfur grew up to be ambitious and greedy. She wanted to rule her clan. Silverstream also grew up greedy, but wanted to find happiness with her mate ratherthan her clan. It would have been interesting to see how Leopardfur would handle a cat who was almost just like her. But no, we don't get any of that. Instead somehow Leopardfur finds out Silverstream is dating Graystripe. So the only interaction these two ladies have is over Silverstream's stupid teenage romance. Then Leopardfur has bitter thoughts about Silverstream's kits their entire lives. "Oh I should have looked out for Silverstream more" *proceeds to treat her surviving children like crap because their dad was born someplace else*

I wanna talk about another bit of wasted character relationship potential. Leopardfur's connection to Mistyfoot and Stonefur. Is nonexistent. We hardly get any interaction between those three until Leopardfur is close to becoming leader. Then we start seeing more of Stonefur and just a little bit of Mistyfoot. But barely. It feels as though Leopardstar picks Stonefur outta nowhere, especially when she has deeper connections with other, more experienced cats. Like Beetlenose, and her foster siblings Skyheart and Blackclaw. Hell, even with Loudbelly! Leopardstar doesn't care about Mistyfoot until after Stonefur gets killed on her watch. It's ridiculous! It's wasted character potential. Nothing infuriates me more than wasted character potential.

I will say though, Tigerstar definitely lived up to his full potential in this book. He was cruel, manipulative, cunning, and believably deceiving. I hate Tigerstar as a person. But I love how he was written here as a character. He felt fleshed out and well rounded. And I should hope so, given he's warrior's biggest villain up until the last book of Omen of the Stars. Though I didn't like the implication Tigerstar made about being interested in being Leopardstar's mate. That was gross, just cause he sucks and that makes Tigerstar×Leopardstar canon. Way to go, erins

Finally, I want to talk about the story's writing... god it was a mess. The pacing was terrible. The first couple of chapters were long as hell. The time skipping (especially after chapter 2) could be a bit jarring. And then the later chapters felt short af. The book seemed to fly past the events of TPB rather than giving us a chance to think about and digest Leopardfur's feelings during this time period. And they retconned Oakheart's death which ruins a big plot point of the first warriors arc. There were way too many spelling and grammar errors. The book was sloppily written and you can tell the erins threw everything together as quick as possible without double checking thrir work. I understand the time limit they're given to finish books, but they really should have been more thoughrough with proofreading especially with how large of an editing team they had.

Overall this book was a disappointment. Definitely up there with the worst warriors books ever written. It was a nothing burger of a story. And its such a shame it had to happen to such a beloved character's story. Leopardstar, sweety, you deserved so much better. Im sad I couldn't become a fan. And Im sorry the erins did you so dirty 💔

[sirimiri-ovo]

I feel like Levi is a pretty chill dude, personality wise.

Like let's say he grew up in the late 90s, listening to ambient and classical music, having maybe a maximum of two or three close friends, not really doing much in terms of ambition. Maybe he was a vaporwave fan. Maybe his school thought he was a drug dealer when in reality, he was really just super, super lazy.

Perhaps the internship was set up by his parents to get him to actually do something besides sit around and work at blockbuster all day. Maybe he thought the statue was just some old trinket the other interns bought at a gift shop. Just a chill fish man who becomes absolutely Not Chill when his routine gets abruptly interrupted by something new and unwanted. He's terrified of the transformation until it's about finished, then he just......accepts it. Really easily. When the initial shock and angst is over he just accepts his new body and goes right back to his old lax self.

Maybe he spends his time in the ocean just......drifting. Acting more like a sunfish than a sea monster. Finding a sunny rock and sitting on for hours until his skin starts to dry. Maybe exploring deeper when the sun gets boring. Poking around shipwrecks and gathering up old trinkets. Playing around with massive whale skeletons like they're toys. Maybe following a pod of whales around out of sheer boredom and curiosity. Perhaps he doesn't wander back to the lab/observatory until it's the late 2000s, following this internal compass because that cursed statue left a sort of natural beacon on the place.

Idk my brain conjured up the image of sea monster Levi jamming out to Music Disc Strad while some other skittery human scientists update his tags.

I could see that

I’d see him finishing up highschool in the 90s. I was thinking that maybe he was a smart kid and had actually gotten a scholarship to go to a college he was looking forward to because he was gonna follow in his dads footsteps of becoming a marine biologist and explorer. So when he becomes unable to attend he’s upset alongside the whole becoming a large mer. Maybe he was a little upset and worked himself too hard in highschool and never got a break. So he has to kinda accept that he’s like this now and he learns to mellow out and not be so tough on himself.

I’m thinking that yeah he explores ship wrecks and maybe even has an underwater cave he lives in for a while that is until he gets too big for it. Also his diet is carnivoress so I could see him going from eating small fish,to larger fish,then sharks and small octopus. But eventually he has to eat larger meals like whale sharks,whales,and colossal squids. It’d only be a lot later he’d have to battle other sea monsters for a meal. The only time he’d eat a human would be an accident,like exposing him to blood while he’s in his tank and almost shark like reacting to the blood.

He prolly resurfaces some years later like when phones and all this technology’s becoming more advanced and he’s just amazed by it. Also yes he loves music.

I was wondering how oil spills and pollution affect him. If he gets big enough plastic will just pass through his gills easily just like small fish caught in his breathing. But he could get sick from oil spills n dumping.

[megheadmed]

Hello!! I just started up a very small blog dedicated to my ball python, Barbara!! for now it is called @barbara-python. Anyways I'm looking for reptiblrs to follow, so a list of some of your favorites would be really cool! also I posted a few pictures of her on that blog, so if you wanna check her out you can, she's pretty cute!!

Heya!

Yay!! That’s so awesome! You’re one of my fave regulars on here, n’ I’m really glad you’re joining reptiblr! Definitely check out @barbara-python if you dudes are looking for another snoot blog to follow! I’m not sure if it’s an ask/informative blog or just a pet blog, but I do know that there’s a snoot, and so I’ll be reblogging some of their posts soon!

As for recommendations: @tailsandco, @courtnashe, @sunfish-exotics, @alpinehell, @cornsnoot, @snekromancy, @the-mighty-python, @ramen-reptile, @snekerdoodles, @snakesinavan, @the-love-of-snakes, @hermes-snakes-and-bakes, and @snoodledoodles are some of my faves! You prolly already followed the “bigger” reptiblr blogs like william-snekspere, wheremyscalesslither, etc! There’s also a little list in my FAQ called spons-snek; with some repeats from my list, but other blogs I might’ve forgotten! Feel free to rb if you’re a reptiblr blog or have a reptiblr blog! 

I hope this helped ^0^ Gl, and welcome to reptiblr! 

[batbitesthebat]

God lord miles!!

1. Kwazii.

2. Sunfish episode. He is the cutest little f%#&$ thing ever in the sunfish episode

3. He is amazing in every way shape and form. He's confident and handsome and has a really good design that takes total advantage of complementary colors, He's brave and caring and compassionate and he likes to SOW AND BAKE CMON THATS SO CUTE he's a lieutenant and that makes him sooooo fineeee dude ok he also can do backflips, and he likes sharks, and hes a skilled GUP driver and omygosh he is perfect in every way possible and yes he gets extremely annoying but LIKE I GIVE A $&*%!!!! I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART have you seen how he treats little bebe animals UGHHHH its so CUTEEEE hes just genuinely a sweet guy also he does catnip

hey I'm doing a thing.

respond to this post with:

1. who your favourite Octonaut is,

2. what your favourite episode is for them (it doesn't NEED to be an episode ABOUT them, it just needs to have them doing something important),

3. (optional) explain why.

thank you <3

[cc-sketchbook]

I don’t normally write fanfiction but I was inspired by a post by @riathedreamer  which is located here 

Title: “Margarita” Author: Chaos Child Fandom: Red vs Blue Characters: Simmons & Grif Pairings: Grimmons? A little fluff? Warnings: Pg13 for the most part, drinking (obviously), language, nothing really beyond the scope of what the show contains. If there is something you think needs to be put in warnings let me know and I’ll add it.  Notes: None really other than this is unbeta’d. Enjoy! :D

”Margarita” by Chaos Child In retrospect, that probably wasn't a margarita.

Not that Simmons had ever had a margarita.

Not to say of course that he'd never drank before! Because he had! He had! He'd nicked some stuff from his parents when he was in his rebellious teen phase, he'd knocked back a beer or two with Grif when they were off-duty. And on-duty... that one time. ONE TIME! Okay!?...… Okay, more than one. He'd just never had a margarita before now, they were all fruity and stuff, right? And that was associated with girls, right? Or was that martinis? Either way best not to risk it. No reason to purposefully invite mockery and humiliation...

But, yeah... Yeah, that probably wasn't a margarita, at least not a normal one. Or maybe it was... But Grif had said... He'd said, that since they were here in the Vegas Quadrant they should do something fun, something silly or stupid so they could have a good laugh about it. It had taken a fair bit of whining and several "but Simmoooons"s for him to give in and tell Grif to "just get me whatever." from the overly colorful bar. Sure enough, in almost no time at all, the Hawaiian had returned with a nearly picturesque bright red margarita, and a... something, in an overly tall glass, an almost glowing neon blue beverage, topped with different kinds of fruit, including pineapple (because of fucking course), and a red crazy straw. Exactly the sort of thing Surge would never approve of. So in other words, perfect for Grif.

Yeah, in retrospect he probably shouldn't have trusted anything his teammate had brought him, a little voice reminded him. Not that he was paying attention to it. Like at all. Because yeah. Yeah. He was buzzed.

More than buzzed.

Buzzed was an understatement.

He was fucking HYPER!

"Grif, Griiiiiiiiiff!" Oh wow was that whining him? Did he really sound like that? That was hilarious!

Simmons broke into a fit of giggles.

"Grif! Hey, fat-ass!"

"Jesus Simmons, what?" said fat-ass finally answered, failing to hold back his own laughter.

"Let's go do something!"

Grif grinned, "Like what?"

"I don't knooooow!" Simmons warbled, "Just something! Something I can do! ‘Cause, 'm, 'cause oh my god I'm so charged man!"

"I dun know... I was kind of thinking I'd hit the buffet, then maybe catch some z's." That was probably sarcasm, but what if it wasn't?!

"No!" Simmons gasped, with a scandalized drama that would have made Donut proud, and crouched to match Grif's eye level.

No, too far. Closer. Wait, no, that was the table. Oh, yeeeeeaaah, they were still in the bar weren't they? For an all too brief moment of clarity he realized how stupid he must look, practically kneeling on the likely filthy floor, peering over the edge of the table like a child, pleadingly, at his still seated and probably nowhere near as drunk teammate.

"Grif?" he asked, quietly, an abrupt gearshift from his previous mood. "Grif, am I weird?"

"Absolutely." came the immediate reply.

The cyborg whined mournfully and looked down at the floor. He'd messed up somehow, hadn't he? And now he was weird again, and no one would be his friend and he was gonna be all alone and he didn't know where anything was and he just wanted to go do something! And-

"Hey." Simmons nearly smacked his face on the edge of the table as he was suddenly pat on the head, "Let's go," the red head grinned in delight at his compatriot. "don't know when you'll actually want to go do something fun again, better take advantage now."

"Yes!" Simmons leaped to his feet, oh wow he could just hug Grif! So he did! Kind of. It was closer to falling onto, but with more standing involved. "We can't do the dukes of hazard thing though, at least I don't think, cause they'll get mad. Plus we don't have a warthog..."

Grif laughed, "Yeah, nah, don't worry, this is the Vegas Quadrant, there's plenty of shit to do here."

"Yeah! Yeah, let's go do some stuff!"

So they did.

There was a comedy show, which was hysterical, Simmons couldn't remember laughing that hard in a long time. He'd been good too! Like really good, he hadn't shouted or corrected the comedian at all! Even though he wanted to, his bit about Star Trek had been completely wrong, like utterly wrong. Probably hadn't even watched the series at all. Poser.

He'd ended up bouncing his leg a lot though, probably too much, cause Grif had noticed, and suggested they go do something that involved walking, but not too much. "Enough so that you don't explode or something."

It had taken some pleading and the promise of the existence of benches but Grif finally agreed to the aquarium. Because maybe he was drunk enough to be nostalgic for home? Hawaii had lots of oceans and shit, right? He thought it did. He'd never been to Hawaii.

At least Grif seemed to be having fun watching Simmons from the aforementioned benches as he bounced around in front of the large display tanks, babbling out what he knew about the marine life inside. Most of it was probably even true! And didn't that fish look just like Caboose? A Sail Fish! Or Sale fish? Sael? Sun Fish? Ocean Sunfish? That big stupid one that ate jellyfish and had about as much brain power as a rock. That one.

Grif chose after that, which was really only fair after all, and they ended up in a retro style arcade. The sign on the outside declared that it was an "Adult Arcade" but all this apparently meant was that they served booze inside and had "M" rated fighting games rather than having more... unsavory sorts of things. Something to which Grif voiced a mild displeasure before dragging Simmons to said nearest fighting game.

It was totally the alcohol in his system that made it easy for Grif to wipe the floor with him, he was just too jittery, too hyper. It made it hard to sit still. It was absolutely not because he was total shit at them. Fuck off!

He turned it around at the dancing game though! Which was great because he was pretty sure he also sucked at dancing. Or didn't. Or was too self-conscious? Or something. Probably was because Grif was too out of shape to dance more than a few songs. But did DDR really count as dancing, really? A mystery that might never be solved...

And there was that crane game too! They got kicked out for that, or well, asked to leave, probably, maybe, hard to tell because he kind of wasn't paying attention. Cause Grif had snorted at it when they walked by, something about it being a ripoff, and he'd agreed but pointed out that if you knew how to do it you could totally win whatever you wanted, was just all about math and shit, and Grif had said “prove it.” and so he did! Just had to know how to talk to the machine, with math! Cuz see they were sort of related, cause he was part robot... cyborg! He was a cyborg! So yeah! And then Grif just started pointing to all the ones he wanted and so he just kept winning them, and then some guys came over and Grif started arguing with them or something, again, not really paying attention, he was too busy lining up the claw at juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust the perfect angle to snag that crazy fluffy pink, (light-ish red) bunny, that totally looked like Donut, maybe, if Donut was a rabbit, but the point was-!

Then they were outside, like outside, and Grif was hefting a bag full of all the stuffed things Simmons had won and grumbling something about the people who owned the place being a “bunch of greedy assholes”. Least they got to keep the prizes. It would have been so sad if they didn't. How would the Donut Bunny get home to the not Bunny Donut? It was like all those movies with the dogs who get lost and go like a million miles and learn to play piano just to make it home to the little white bread suburban child who loved them.

That would be later though because NOW, they were in the park, a park, a playground, at like a school or something? Kind of weird, but made sense. People who worked here probably had kids, kids needed to go to school, so they could grow up to be model members of society, and probably alcoholics, who knew way too much about math and how pi worked and shit, and they probably had space dogs too.

Grif was on the swing, one of them, watching as Simmons sort of wobbled along, trying to walk on his hands, he was mostly succeeding, except gravity was all weird so he kept falling over. With a sigh he gave up, well took a break, Reds never surrendered, he told Grif this.

“If you say so dude.” the larger man chuckled, peering downwards at him, swinging slightly back and forth.

Simmons hummed, looking up at the night sky, a few meager stars straining to be seen against the astounding amount of light pollution, head still swimming pleasantly, but the crazy manic energy high or whatever, seemed to be maybe wearing off now. Perhaps? He felt kind of floaty, maybe a bit sleepy? The grass was surprisingly comfortable. For lab designed genetically modified grass anyway. Perfect science grass. Perfect in every way. Not like him though.

The cyborg raised a wobbly metal hand in front of his face, probably too far out, looked like he was maybe trying to grab one of those sad flickering stars, trying so hard to be seen in the sky, not like the grass at all. He told Griff that too.

He got a 'hum' in reply.

“Hey... Hey, Griff?” Simmons asked.

“Yeah?”

“I'm a mess...” he blinked slowly in the silence, in a weird sort of way, where it took his artificial eye a few millionths of a second to catch up to the human one or was it the other way around? He probably looked drunk. Probably was drunk, probably. “We're a mess.” he corrected.

“Yeah, but hey, whatcha gonna do?”

“Fix it?”

Griff burst out laughing, “Like what? Like are you asking me to fix it? Or are you just saying someone should fix it?”

Simmons rolled a little bit more onto his side facing his... his um... “Hey, Grif? Are we-” Teammates? Companions? Buddies? Friends? Lo- “-Losers? Can you fix that?” Fix me?

“I don't know? I guess you only really 'fix' that by like practicing things and shit? Too much trouble most of the time. Sometimes you just stay a loser no matter what you do. But who cares? If you're a loser you don't gotta do shit, no one expects anything of you so you never get asked to do things you don't want to do. Better that way.” Grif said, somehow forming a suitable answer to what would not have passed as an actual question in most circles. Which they were not.

“Am I boring?”

“Nah, only like... 40% of the time.”

Simmons grinned stupidly, “Oh good, that's less than half!”

A comfortable silence fell over them for a couple of minutes.

“Grif?”

“Yes?”

“I had fun.”

“Good.”

“I'll probably be mortified tomorrow though. We can never go back here, you know that right?”

Grif snorted, “We? Not just you?”

Simmons' brow furrowed, “As though you'd ever come here without me. You totally won't ever go alone, and who else would you take?”

“Tucker?” Griff offered seriously, before immediately breaking the facade at Simmons' baleful glare laughing, and really wasn't that just the best sound? “Fuck, who am I kidding? Tucker is an asshole.” He made a face, “And weirdly into my sex life, really into it, it's creepy, weird as fuck.”

“I know riiiiiight?” Simmons warbled, Tucker was so fucking weird, probably morally bipolar with how he seemed to flit back and forth between attempting to be a decent guy and a literal pile of trash. And he knew being bipolar didn't work that way! It was a metaphor okay!? He was drunk alright?! Though less so now maybe, drunk enough to know he was drunk.

“Oi, are you falling asleep down there?” Grif called down to Simmons after a couple of unresponsive minutes.

“No.” Simmons tittered back, “Might not be so bad though, grass is comfy.” he frowned, scrunching his face in a way that might have been cute if it was on a child and not a full grown man. “I think I'm starting to crash...” He tried to roll over again and only partially succeeded, arms flopped oddly in front of and behind him, “I'm so fucked uuuup.”

He heard the rattle of a chain and then saw the slightly blurred shape of Grif's shoes in front of him.

“I've known that since the literal second I met you dude.” the shoes' owner snickered, crouching down a bit to poke his teammate's head with a finger, “No passing out, if you're gonna do that then we're going back to the hotel. Probably should anyway, I think it's like 4 am.”

“4 am? I've only heard about that in hushed whispers and legends!” Simmons said with a dopey grin, earlier melancholy forgotten. He tried to sit up but instead flopped a bit on the grass while Grif continued to laugh at him.

He squinted again, this time at the semi blurry image of his teammate, not like, 'I can't tell what that is any more' level of blur, but like, '60's sci-fi Vaseline on lens' kind of blurry. Was oddly pleasing, in an aesthetic sort of way. Word salad sort of way. Train of thought sort of way. That lead to other thoughts, and other trains, that went to places he wasn't really sure he wanted to think about at the moment. Mostly because he couldn't remember where he was going with that.

“Grif. Be my legs.”

“No.”

“But I gave you my leeeeeeeeeeg, and my lungs, and an arm, and most of my other organs and some skin.” He gave Grif a far too serious and also far too stupid glare, “Grif.” he said, like a revelation, like an accusation, “I gave you my heart.” How DARE you, Sir!

It took about five seconds of awkward and yet somehow hysterical silence before they both burst out laughing. Laughing so hard that Grif was actually holding his sides and gasping “It hurts it hurts!” while Simmons made noises that to an outside view probably sounded a bit disturbing as his artificial lungs (or the assortment of crap that passed for them) tried to figure out what their owner wanted them to do.

“Okay, okay you win. I can't argue with that.” Griff finally managed to choke out, swaying a bit up to his feet, reaching out to grab Simmons hand and haul him up. “I'm not carrying you though, you can lean on me but that's it.”

Simmons wobbled dangerously, vision fucking off with his sense of balance for a moment when he suddenly became upright.

“I agree to these terms.” he said dramatically, somewhat flinging himself into the offered arm, tossing his own over Grif's shoulders as gravity gave a valiant but thankfully futile attempt at taking him down again.

“Okay, so now we just gotta make it a couple blocks, I think, to the main road, then we can get a cab. Cause fuck if we're walking to the hotel.”

“Oh my god Grif what if we get mugged!” Simmons suddenly tittered, causing them both to sway until Grif directed him back into walking in the right direction.

“No one is gonna mug us dude,” Grif lightly shook the bag of prizes Simmons had 100% forgotten about, “bunch of stuffed animals? We probably look weird as hell. Probably get arrested more like if they found us at the playground.”

“Noooo,” Simmons wailed dramatically, flinging his free arm around Grif, allowing his feet to drag, “Griff no, I don't wanna go to jaaaail.”

“We're not going to jail either man, chill.” his teammate chided, aww, not funny then,  “And let go, this is dangerously close to carrying, I will drop you.”

“You suck.”

“You suck.”

“Suck Dick!”

“...What?”

“You heard- nothing! You heard me.”

Grif raised a thick eyebrow but didn't comment further, which really was for the best.

It didn't take long to get a cab once they got back to a busier part of town, at least Simmons didn't remember it taking long, but who was he to say? He'd been right before about crashing, all the manic energy he'd had before was gone at this point, and he was all but out like a light when Grif finally got the door to their room open.

He managed to make it to the nearest bed without planting face first into the floor. Small mercies.

“Oi!” he dimly heard from the doorway as he plopped onto the mattress, “That's my bed man, I called it when we got here.”

“Don't care,” was the muffled response, “Go sleep in the other one. 'm tired...”

“No way, I called dibs, you think I won't just sleep there any way you're fucking wrong.”

“Don't care.”

Simmons distantly felt the mattress move as Grif made good on his word and flopped down on the other side of the bed. Really though, who cared? The bed was big enough. One nice thing about military paid vacations, first class, all the way.  

“Wow, you're really out of it huh?”

“Mmmm hmm...” Oh, before he forgot.

“Grif?”

“I'm not moving dude, this is my bed.”

“No, no, no.” He mumbled, “Need a favor.”

“Oh careful what you ask for, might cost you.” he could practically hear the grin in Grif's voice

“That's fine,” Simmons replied, wouldn't be that bad Grif was mostly just talk, probably want like a box of hohos or something, “See that?” he limply flung a hand in the general direction of where he assumed Grif had put the bag of prizes.

“The lamp...?” Grif asked in confusion, “it's already off man, what you need it on? Scared of the dark?”

“No,” Simmons flopped his other arm, “The bunny. Pink one.”

“What about it?”

“Mail that to Donut in the morning for me.”

“And I have to do it because?”

“Because sober me won't do it. You know how Donut can get, so I won't do it, but I still think he'd like it.”

“Yeah, he wouldn't.” Grif agreed, “But I don't want Donut thinking it's from me either.”

“No, you can put my name on it, just know I'll wuss out on mailing it back. Don't want people to think things.”

Probably another eyebrow raise, “Things?”

“Embarrassing things... Don't want people thinking I'm weird.”

“Uh, huh... Well if that's what you want. I'll think of a way you can pay me back later unless you freaking out afterward is funny enough.”

Simmons grunted softly as he felt a friendly pat on his back, burrowing his face into the pillow. “'S fair.”

He yawned, hearing Grif's own not long after.

“...Hey, Grif...?”

“... Yeah...?”

“I had fun.”

“Me too.”

“Night Grif.”

“Night.”

END

[thenativetank]

VA Native Fish Hunting - 4

So last weekend we went Kayak camping on the James River here in VA. If you’ve ever taken a kayak or backpack to a campsite, then you know weight is the major limiting factor. Which meant I only got to take minimal equipment (2 dip nets) and had only a little luck. Still. Saw some neat stuff!

Okay I’ll be frank; a lot of what we did and saw involved us swimming in the river, so I didn’t bring my phone with me. I did find out later that my wife has a Go-pro with a water-proof case, so I’ll be bringing that with me next time.

This area right here was incredible though... within the span of an hour, we saw a foot long Ictalurid catfish (probably Channel but maybe a longer Bullhead), a 2 foot long Longnose Gar, several Green Sunfish of various lengths, and mixed schools of Satinfin Shiners and Blacknose Daces. I really was surprised to see them schooling together, but there was no mistaking them for one species.

We also went up a small tributary where I went dipping with my net. Saw some smaller fish and confirmed they were Blacknose Daces. But I stopped after one dip just because it’s not worth stressing the little guys out for.

The dominant snail species were these long shelled dudes. I would need a good side-view to confirm, but pretty sure these are Pleurocera virginica, which is a species I have found in the nearby Rappahannock.

One thing I found fun about this river was that there was a few different aquatic plants in a small area. Most places I see are dominated by 1 or 2. The Northern Snail-Seed Pondweed (Potamogeton spirillus) - try saying that 10 times fast - was probably the most abundant. I have a bunch at home and love them as a temperate water plant.

This one was new to me, though. Hill’s Pondweed (Potamogeton hillii) is a relative of the above plant and looks much the same in the water, just with shorter leaves. I picked some for a friend with a native tank, we’ll see how it does!

And of course, what would a trip to a major river be without stumbling upon some Vallisneria? There were super long strands in the water, maybe 2 or 3 feet long, but this guy washed up on shore, so... photo op!

[tauforged]

ok so like, this house we were staying at had this cute little pier out into the. well i was calling it a lake but it’s TECHNICALLY a pond. anyway. i went fishing yesterday cuz it’s been ages and i caught n released a handful of fish but the real highlight was the big group of pumpkinseed sunfish that’s clearly been living around fhis dock for a while and seemed to be accustomed to people fishing, because the water was clear enough for me to see them all hanging out around the dock and every time i reeled in an empty hook to try and recast they would all just follow it to try and steal my bait, but if i held the hook still they never bit, thy just watched. there was one really big one that was literally just staying still right next to where i was sitting on the dock and looking at me, like he didn’t care at all when i cast or put my feet in or anything he was just chillin. i probably could’ve reached in and grabbed him, but i didn’t want to do that and also i know better than to grab a sunfish barehanded. but i tossed him a couple worms here and there since i had way too many anyway and he was loving it. such a cute lil dude. i wish it was easier to find native fish for sale in the aquarium hobby, these guys reminded me so much of the turquoise jewel cichlids we sell at work but honestly cuter imho. this isn’t the one i was hanging out with its a different one that i’d caught earlier in the day but this is what they all looked like (this fish was released shortly after rhis pic was taken and didn’t seem to mind being manhandled for a few seconds to unhook him and take a picture, fear not)

absolutely gorgeous fish honestly. the way the sun caught their blue stripes and the white edging on their fins and around their gill spot (which i’m accidentally covering in this pic oops) made them almost glow. definitely one of my favorite MA native freshwater fish for sure

i almost forgot i also have a really good fishing story that i keep forgetting i wanna post hang on