#summer struggle 2021

[glowexxy]

oh my god i just realized that the ai run cookies were present in the bathhouse event

cyborg regaining the memories by themself.... aloe being there and keeping trying to make cy's life exprerience as close to the way it was as possible.......... cyborg being surprised at how much aloe is into this and just wanting her to not overwork herself................. THEYRE SO SWEET UEEEEEEEE

[lylianrae]

A list of all the things I have manifested ⋆˚⟡˖ ࣪

We manifest everything in our lives btw - the good and the bad which is why I will be including both to prove that the law does not discriminate. If you can successfully become poor, you can most definately become rich with the same ease because everything is just a state.

Long hair

AHH this is one of my favourite manifestations. Ever since I was young I had a weird bob with a fringe (often crooked) and I wanted long hair like all the other girls (lmaoo) but my mum was strict so she didn't let me grow it out. Although I didn't know about manifestation back then, every new year and birthday I would wish for long hair and I would pretend I was a princess with butt long hair. Guess what, somewhere along the line, my mum let me grow it out and now I have butt length hair (don't really know what to do with it tho </3).

As all kids do, I went through an emo phase where I chopped off like half of my hair like 4 years ago. I literally grew back 7-8" of hair within a month because my parents got too mad. I knew about manifestation here so I just assumed my hair always grows unaturally fast. Same with when I cut bangs, they grew past my chin within a couple of weeks.

Manifesting my way into a private school

Honestly this just shows that you dont need 2430430 hours of working on your self concept to manifest. Literally so many celebs, including Marylin Monroe (the queen), manifested their fame with awful self concept. Likewise, here I was possibly going through the worst time of my life back then. I would wake up at 8 am and start studying and end at 11 pm despite being only 10 at the time. I was so freaking stressed and envious of all the other children and went into a depressive spiral where my two options were pass or die. I didn't even have enough practice and I cried my self to sleep on most nights. Anyways, when i did the exam I was deathly calm and even after the exam I was apparently so chill so my parents thought I failed.

I literally left 9 questions on one paper but throughout the summer, everytime I found a dandelion I would make a wish and imagine digging a tunnel to the examiners room where I secretly change my answers into the right ones (lmfao my tiny 10 yr old brain - idek how it worked). Anyways my results were sent back to me a month later on a random October evening and I got a really high mark. Even after 7 years of going to this school I havn't met anyone who has gotten a mark higher than mine.

Curly hair / straight hair

Sigh. We always want things we don't have. When I was younger I had really straight hair like 1A asian hair but when I was like 10, I really wanted curly hair and I would try to curl it often. After a few months, I manifested a curling iron and my hair literally became naturally curly like right after a wash it would curly af when before it was dead straight. Naturally I grew bored of it and I wanted my straight hair back and for ages I began overcomplicating the law and struggled to manifest it. It was only recently when I actually let go of the 3D that I manifested the silky, shiny straight hair.

Social life?

This is also a funny one, just shows how easily you can manifest. So back in 2021 after lockdown I felt so lonely and felt so left out of my friendship group so after a few months I began stressing myself out and spiraling for like 30 minutes, sobbing to myself about how I was so lonely and how nobody loved me (💀). Anyways it became reality, I found myself uncomfortable in many social situations and found myself becoming forgotten far more easily. I don't really remember the details but it was so bad that I think I accidently manifested social anxiety (oh well we still up tho).

However I am a loa girly so I found myself listening to popularity subliminals and slowly (but surely) my mindset change from having no friends to being the most popular girl in the year. Like no joke I became friends with like 3 people from different social circles so at lunchtime we had to join up like 3 different tables so we can all sit together. Overall I got myself 20+ close friends and even my ex friends began to admire me although it had ended badly. Even now, when someone says something thats untrue - for example saying that they are dumb when they are not, they would be like "ahaha so its like when Rae (me) says she has no friends, the whole school knows who Rae is".

Clear skin

This was sort of in the beginning of my loa (law of attraction back then) journey, I just randomly found out what subliminals were and was still quite new to everything. Now I don't even understand how it happened but I had busted some capillaries under my skin and it looked like small red viens under my skin and bro I was freaking out at the time. One night I was like just, I had enough, I'm going to get myself better skin and so I listened to a sub once for 3-4 days and on like the 4th day, my cheeks began to heat up which was odd and the next day it was 90% gone. Just like magikkkk.

Desired university?

Guys. Feeling is the secret. Don't you ever forgot that - not feeling as in emotions but rather the feeling of knowing. I had 2 entrance exams to do to apply for my universities and it was a stressful time where I wasn't getting enough sleep and wasn't eating enough simply because I didn't have the time. Like I come home from school and would have 3-4 hours of homework, then I need to revise for tests and then the remaining time would be spent on the entrance exams. Each past paper took 2 hours and I have around 13s per questions and I was already struggling on time. Anyways, I began to hate them and I would often complain to my mum saying things like "My score got even lower!!" or "I hate it so much" or "My head hurts / eyes hurt".

Guess what? Not only did I see my score decrease over time but I also made such a silly mistake on the most important entrance exam which I needed for 4/5 of my universities. I left a question and completely forgot to mark on the answer so when I finished the section I realised I had one more space on the sheet with like 10s to spare. I didn't have enough time to go back and fix it and lemme say that I did so badly in the test. Even while waiting for results I was just like "ah it would be a miracle if I scored above this bla bla".

I got the score back and it was so freaking bad like I did not stand a chance at my university at all. However, I started to affirm for a place and to my utter shock and surprise my desired university reached out and offered me an interview. I knew people who had like scores which were 50% better than mine and they still got rejected pre-interview. Anyways I began stressing about the interview and the results of the whole thing and boom. I got rejected 3 days after my birthday lmaoo. But its okay because I'm reapplying and I learnt so much more. I'm redoing the entrance exam and my score is a loooot better than it ever was last year.

A key take away would be thoughts are the result of the state you are in. Your dwelling state manifests and I was focusing on the unrealness and the difficultly of getting into this uni and thats what manifested. At the time I was heartbroken and literally went through the 7 stages of grief and spent so many months trying to revise it only for me to focus on the 3D. Just know that everything is done in imagination and it appears in the 3D as a result.

Photographic memory

So this is also something I had manifested before I actually knew about loa but the takeaway here is that manifestation is always instant. I was around 11 reading a random book on my tiny kindle and the book was on how to develop a good memory and I was like ah that'll be useful. Anyways later in the car, I asked my dad about photographic memory and he sort of explained it to me. I just assumed that I have that and I told him I do. He just laughed at me and said thats something that you have to train for and I was not impressed lmao. Inside my tiny brain, I was just like nope, I already have photographic memory and I dropped that thought. Let me tell you, my memory is actually photographic and has helped me out on so many occasions like my brain just takes pictures of things.

Learning fast

This is also something I did before I knew loa, I was just always wondering why the other kids couldn't grasp concepts as easily as I did. Literally in every lesson I would be like ah I learn so fast and now I am actually blessed with the ability to grasp complex subjects so fast. A favourite example of mine would be when I was obsessed with music but to take it to a higher level you need to be able to play an instrument. I couldn't at the time and my teacher told me the requirements a week before the actual deadline. I have never actually played piano with both hands but one day I sat down and worked through the entire song (fur elise by Beethoven) which is a grade 5 (I think) and it normally takes people months / weeks to learn. I learnt the whole thing in 3 days and from then on, I could play piano like I had been doing for ages. Again the memory thing was so helpful because I never actually used any sheet music, I learnt it off a youtube video and I remembered every single note I needed to play.

Hourglass body + 22" waist

This was a couple of years ago when I actually didn't understand loa. Anyways long story short, I would do a 3 minute workout and then flex infront of the mirror all day (💀) and be like omg I have abs. Overtime, I actually got so skinny everyone around me kept pointing it out to me and my mum got so concerned that she took me to the doctor like 4 times. It was so funny, I would loose like 2-3kg overnight and my parents would have to buy better fitting uniform.

Bigger boobs

This was also back in the day (2021?) when I didn't understand how to manifest things easily af. I had an A cup but I wanted better boobies and I listened to like 2 subs for a week and I went to a B cup. But I just assumed I have a bigger cup size recently and I just skipped C and went to D+ (haven't measured in a long time).

I'm not done but I'm tired now bye bye

[queen-of-the-avengers]

Mr. Right Now

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: angst, past trauma of not feeling good enough, it's better off being alone angst, minor fluff at the end

Summary: As a divorcee with three kids, it’s hard to open up to men and allow them into your children’s lives. You’re a single mother who is just trying to get through each day until you meet Bucky. He might be the one you’ve been searching for all this time. Can you put aside your fears enough to let him in?

Squares Filled: band (2021) for @buckybarnesbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

The only time you’re able to go to the grocery store in the summertime is when you don’t have your kids hanging off your every limb. Your oldest daughter and son are at a summer camp you were able to get them into while your youngest daughter is being watched by your mother who had some time for you to get errands done.

Whoever said parenting was the best thing in the world was lying because you want to cry most days. It’s not that you don’t love your children, you absolutely love them with all your heart. You want nothing more in the world than to be their mom but it’s hard some days. You’re a single mom to three kids which takes a lot out of you. You have no time to do anything for yourself. Whenever they’re at school, you spend your days taking care of your baby girl and cleaning the house only for them to return and mess it up all over again.

Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world and it’s not for everyone. However, when you had your kids, you weren't alone. You had a husband who you thought would be with you forever. Then, you caught him with a twenty-year-old in your bed and that set you back decades. It took you a long time to find someone else after him, which you did, and you thought you had gotten your second chance at love.

He was a breath of fresh air after struggling for years. You only had two kids at the time but it was still a handful since they were both so young. You and your second husband had a daughter together, and you thought this was it. This is your family.

Then, he left without warning. He told you that he didn’t love you anymore and wanted nothing to do with you or your kids. He threatened to take Abby but you fought him through a lawsuit. He was bouncing between homes and didn’t have a steady income, all of which you had. If you thought your first husband was bad, your second husband broke you completely.

You swore off men after that. All you want to do is take care of your kids and live life on your own. It’s hard but you know you can do it. Your mother has been very supportive of you and helps out when she can but she’s much older and can’t do stuff like she normally could. Your father passed a decade ago so neither of you have him to fall back on. Your brother and sister moved out of the country when they turned eighteen and haven’t looked back since.

You’re truly on your own which you never minded until now.

You fill your shopping cart as you go down the list you made before leaving the house, and you look at the next item on your list. You’re not looking where you’re going and almost run into someone.

“I’m so sorry,” you gasp and look up.

You gasp again but it’s not from the shock of running into him. This man is… You don’t think you ever saw a more handsome man in your life. He’s tall, like a whole foot taller than you, and has dark hair that is not too long. His eyes are bright blue oceans and he is very muscular.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s mine. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Sorry,” you mutter.

You’re about to move around him to continue your shopping when he stops you.

“I haven’t seen you around here and I come here every week.”

“Oh, yeah. I usually get my groceries delivered but I had some time today to do it myself.”

“I’m Bucky,” he smiles.

Damn, he has such a great smile, too.

“Y/N.”

“Do you care for some company while you finish?”

“Sure,” you smile. “So, Bucky, have you lived in Washington D.C. for long?”

“On and off. I used to live here years ago. I just recently came back and am now living with my two best friends. You?”

“I just moved here a year ago. I had to get away from… stuff… I used to live in Nevada and thought a change would do me good.”

“Lucky me that you did,” he flirts.

You can’t help the blush that forms on your face. You’re not used to compliments. You finish the rest of your shopping quickly but you don’t want to stop talking to Bucky. He’s the first man you have had such an easy conversation with in a long time. Your mom wants you to put yourself out there again and try dating but you can’t think of anything worse than that. Dating means bringing a new man into your kids’ lives who will probably leave you. You’re not going to do that to them again so you’ll settle for stolen conversations in the grocery store.

Still, you find yourself not wanting to leave the store because then you’ll have to stop talking to Bucky. However, when your mom calls about Abby crying because she’s hungry and you haven’t pumped a bottle for her. She can eat solid food but she loves your milk more. You’re trying to transition her into solid foods but it’s a work in progress.

“Sorry. I have to get back home.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“It was really nice to talk to you, though. Maybe I’ll see you back here again.”

“Yeah, maybe,” he nods.

You’re gone before he can ask you for your number. You can’t stop thinking about Bucky. You never met a man who could invade all your senses. Your mother left after you got back and you spent the next hour feeding your daughter and putting the groceries away. You put your daughter down for a nap when your phone rings. You take the call when you get to the kitchen to finish with the groceries.

“Hey, Emma.”

“Y/N! You know that band that Leslie goes on and on about?”

“Yeah.”

“They’re playing a gig at The Twisted Bar this weekend. You gotta come with us!”

“I don’t know. I have Abby and I don’t have a sitter.”

“Bring her here. My husband would love to watch her. He’s been so tied with the boys that it’d be nice to watch a girl.”

“Are you sure? What if she gets hungry? She only seems to want my milk.”

“Then pump before coming here. It’s been such a long time since we all went out. Just once stop worrying about your kids. Jace and Lizzy are at camp and it’s likely Abby will sleep the whole night.”

You’re still not sure. Going out with your friends usually ends in one of two ways: either you end up going home early because your kids need you or you end up going home early because all the girls want to do is flirt with men. They’d never cheat on their husbands and they never take it past the occasional flirty comment. When they get like this, guys love to flirt with you and that’s when you call it a night.

You’re not some horny teenager looking for a fun time. You have kids and if these men knew about it, they’d never flirt with you. It’s tiring to go to bars and reject every man because you know what it’s going to lead to.

Still, it’d be nice to go out with your friends since it’s been so long.

“Fine,” you sigh, “but I’m not going there to take some man home.”

“Got it. This is going to be so much fun! Want me to pick you up?”

“No, I’ll meet you there. What time?”

“Six.”

“I’ll bring Abby over at five, then. We can leave together but I’ll need my car just in case.”

You and Emma talk for a little while longer until you hang up. Friday comes quicker than you’d like, and you had just dropped Abby off at Emma’s house. You’re nervous to leave her alone but you’ve been friends with Emma and Robert for decades so you figure you’d trust them with your kids sooner or later.

You and Emma arrive at The Twisted Bar right after Leslie, Jackie, and April get there. It’s a reunion of the decade since you haven’t seen April in years and Jackie for longer. It’s been hard finding time away from your kids.

“Y/N! I’m so glad you finally made it!” Leslie squeals and pulls you into a hug.

“Eh, I figure it’s time to see my girls.”

“It has been a long time,” April comments.

Leslie grabs drinks while you sit at a table that’s near the band that’s setting up. Leslie has been in love with them ever since she saw them opening for Bon Jovi a few years ago. They’ve been slowly rising to fame but they love playing in small bars to stay connected to their fans. Leslie comes back with the drinks and you sip yours leisurely while your friends down theirs quickly. It’s dangerous when you don’t taste the alcohol; that’s how you get drunk quickly.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I’m going to get some water.”

Your friends wave you off, too invested in the music to listen. You shake your head with a smile and make your way to the bar counter. You look away for a second and run into someone seconds later.

“Hey, Y/N!” You look at the person and see Bucky standing there. “We can’t keep meeting like this.”

“Bucky, what are you doing here?” You pause after hearing how that sounds. “Sorry, that sounds weird. I mean, hi.”

“Hi,” he laughs. “I’m with my roommates. They’re here to see the band. They wanted me to come out.”

“Same.”

“I was hoping to see you. I really liked talking to you the other day.”

“Same here.”

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure.”

Bucky gets you and himself a drink before escorting you to one of the back tables. Most everyone is up front listening to the band so the back is clear of crowds. It’s easier to hear him, too.

“So, I know I’ve said this but you… Okay, I’m not very good at this. My friend, Steve, says I need to get out more but I actually like staying in and being alone. I don’t normally do this but I really enjoyed talking to you. Can I have your number?”

Just like that, your entire world shatters. You like Bucky but now that he wants to take the next step, he’s becoming a real person instead. A real person who you might have to take home to your kids. A real person who will just leave you like everyone else. You don’t want to do this to Bucky but you scoff in annoyance.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, fine, Bucky. Look, I gotta get back to my friends.”

“Wait, is it something I said? You don’t have to give me your number if you don’t want to. I just… You’re beautiful and funny. I had a great time with you at the grocery store.”

You don’t mean to be rude or snappy with Bucky but you’re sick and tired of men feigning interest in you only to leave you and your kids. You’re not going to put them through all that trouble if the man isn’t going to stay. If you don’t give men the light of day, then they can’t leave you.

“You want my number?”

“I do.”

“Which number do you want, Bucky?”

“Uh, well, how many numbers do you have?”

You laugh bitterly. “Oh, I have numbers coming out of my ears. For instance, ten.”

“Ten?”

“Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is.”

Bucky’s face doesn’t fall in disgust but he’s not jumping for joy either. Tears prick your eyes but you won’t let them fall.

“You have a baby girl?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How about this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is. Eight is the age of my son. Two is how many times I’ve been married and divorced. Sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 480-555-0199. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I just gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it. You’re nice, Bucky, but I’ve been down this road too many times. I will not allow my children to meet a man I know won’t stay in my life. Really, it was nice talking to you but no man wants a woman with three children.”

You grab your drink and leave the table but stop when you hear your phone ringing. You take out your phone and notice a number you don’t recognize. Knowing your daughter is with someone else who’s not your mother, you answer it thinking Leslie’s kids are using their phones to call you.

“Hello?”

“For the life of me, I can’t figure out why anyone would leave you. I understand the walls you’ve put up. I understand why you don’t date or don’t trust men, especially around your kids. I understand that you had to put yourself back together multiple times. I’m not dismissing that, but I can promise you that I am not like other men. I don’t abandon people and I happen to love kids. If you give me a chance, I would love to show you that you’re not a piece of ass. You’re not a notch on someone’s belt. You’re a woman who I would love to get to know.”

You turn to face Bucky who has his phone to his ear. The tears are already coming down whether you want them to or not.

“All I ask for is a chance.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Maybe it’s you who needs to give him a chance. Then maybe, you’ll finally find the one person you’ve been looking for.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

When the app tries to make you robo-scab

When we talk about the abusive nature of gig work, there’s some obvious targets, like algorithmic wage discrimination, where two workers are paid different rates for the same job, in order to trick occasional gig-workers to give up their other sources of income and become entirely dependent on the app:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

Then there’s the opacity — imagine if your boss refused to tell you how much you’ll get paid for a job until after you’ve completed it, claimed that this was done in order to “protect privacy” — and then threatened anyone who helped you figure out the true wage on offer:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/07/hr-4193/#boss-app

Opacity is wage theft’s handmaiden: every gig worker producing content for a social media algorithm is subject to having their reach — and hence their pay — cut based on the unaccountable, inscrutable decisions of a content moderation system:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/10/e2e/#the-censors-pen

Making content for an algorithm is like having a boss that docks every paycheck because you broke rules that you are not allowed to know, because if you knew the rules, you’d figure out how to cheat without your boss catching you. Content moderation is the last place where security through obscurity is considered good practice:

https://doctorow.medium.com/como-is-infosec-307f87004563

When workers seize the means of computation, amazing things happen. In Indonesia, gig workers create and trade tuyul apps that let them unilaterally modify the way that their bosses’ systems see them — everything from GPS spoofing to accessibility mods:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/08/tuyul-apps/#gojek

So the tech and labor story isn’t wholly grim: there are lots of ways that tech can enhance labor struggles, letting workers collaborate and coordinate. Without digital systems, we wouldn’t have the Hot Strike Summer:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/02/not-what-it-does/#who-it-does-it-to

As the historic writer/actor strike shows us, the resurgent labor movement and the senescent forces of crapulent capitalism are locked in a death-struggle over not just what digital tools do, but who they do it for and who they do it to:

https://locusmag.com/2022/01/cory-doctorow-science-fiction-is-a-luddite-literature/

When it comes to the epic fight over who technology acts for and against, we need a diversity of tactics, backstopped by tech operated by and for its users — and by laws that protect workers and the public. That dynamic is in sharp focus in UNITE Here Local 11’s strike against Orange County’s Laguna Cliffs Marriott Resort & Spa.

The UNITE Here strike turns on the usual issues like a living wage (hotel staff are paid so little they have to rent rooming-house beds by the shift, paying for the right to sleep in a room for a few hours at a time, without any permanent accommodation). They’re also seeking health-care and pensions, so they can be healthy at work and retire after long service. Finally, they’re seeking their employer’s support for LA’s Responsible Hotels Ordinance, which would levy a tax on hotel rooms to help pay for hotel workers’ housing costs (a hotel worker who can’t afford a bed is the equivalent of a fast food worker who has to apply for food stamps):

https://www.unitehere11.org/responsible-hotels-ordinance/

But the Marriott — which is owned by the University of California and managed by Aimbridge Hospitality — has refused to bargain, walking out negotiations.

But the employer didn’t walk out over wages, benefits or support for a housing subsidy. They walked out when workers demanded that the scabs that the company was trying to hire to break the strike be given full time, union jobs.

These aren’t just any scabs, either. They’re predominantly Black workers who rely on the $700m Instawork app for gigs. These workers are being dispatched to cross the picket line without any warning that they’re being contracted as strikebreakers. When workers refuse the cross the picket and join the strike, Instawork cancels all their shifts and permanently blocks them from new jobs.

This is a new, technologically supercharged form of illegal strikebreaking. It’s one thing for a single boss to punish a worker who refuses to scab, but Instawork acts as a plausible-deniability filter for all the major employers in the region. Like the landlord apps that allow landlords to illegally fix rents by coordinating hikes, Instawork lets bosses illegally collude to rig wages by coordinating a blocklist of workers who refuse to scab:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2022/10/company-that-makes-rent-setting-software-for-landlords-sued-for-collusion/?comments=1

The racial dimension is really important here: the Marriott has a longstanding de facto policy of refusing to hire Black workers, and whenever they are confronted with this, they insist that there are no qualified Black workers in the labor pool. But as soon as the predominantly Latino workforce struck, Marriott discovered a vast Black workforce that it could coerce into scabbing, in collusion with Instawork.

Now, all of this isn’t just sleazy, it’s illegal, a violation of Section 7 of the NLRB Act. Historically, that wouldn’t have mattered, because a string of presidents, R and D, have appointed useless do-nothing ghouls to run the NLRB. But the Biden admin, pushed by the party’s left wing, made a string of historic, excellent appointments, including NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo, who has set her sights on punishing gig work companies for flouting labor law:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/10/see-you-in-the-funny-papers/#bidens-legacy

UNITE HERE 11 has brought a case to the NLRB, charging the Instawork, the UC system, Marriott, and Aimbridge with violating labor law by blackmailing gig workers into crossing the picket line. The union is also asking the NLRB to punish the companies for failing to protect workers from violent retaliation from the wealthy hotel guests who have punched them and screamed epithets at them. The hotel has refused to identify these thug guests so that the workers they assaulted can swear out complaints against them.

Writing about the strike for Jacobin, Alex N Press tells the story of Thomas Bradley, a Black worker who was struck off all Instawork shifts for refusing to cross the picket line and joining it instead:

https://jacobin.com/2023/07/southern-california-hotel-workers-strike-automated-management-unite-here

Bradley’s case is exhibit A in the UNITE HERE 11 case before the NLRB. He has a degree in culinary arts, but racial discrimination in the industry has kept him stuck in gig and temp jobs ever since he graduated, nearly a quarter century ago. Bradley lived out of his car, but that was repossessed while he slept in a hotel room that UNITE HERE 11 fundraised for him, leaving him homeless and bereft of all his worldly possessions.

With UNITE HERE 11’s help, Bradley’s secured a job at the downtown LA Westin Bonaventure Hotel & Suites, a hotel that has bargained with the workers. Bradley is using his newfound secure position to campaign among other Instawork workers to convince them not to cross picket lines. In these group chats, Jacobin saw workers worrying “that joining the strike would jeopardize their standing on the app.”

Today (July 30) at 1530h, I’m appearing on a panel at Midsummer Scream in Long Beach, CA, to discuss the wonderful, award-winning “Ghost Post” Haunted Mansion project I worked on for Disney Imagineering.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/30/computer-says-scab/#instawork

[Image ID: An old photo of strikers before a struck factory, with tear-gas plumes rising above them. The image has been modified to add a Marriott sign to the factory, and the menacing red eye of HAL9000 from Stanley Kubrick's '2001: A Space Odyssey' to the sky over the factory. The workers have been colorized to a yellow-green shade and the factory has been colorized to a sepia tone.]

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[catras-breakup-song]

catradora's canon status turns 5 today. i also turn 20 today. 🪅

i've spent an entire quarter of my life, a whopping 25% of it now, loving the center focus of she-ra and what this show teaches us...

it's actually pretty wild for me to think too deeply about. truly, it can't not mean something absolutely special (if i love myself, of course) when that much of a coincidence is actually reality.

this story isn't just a hyperfixation, it's a permanent part of who i am. it's shaped my later teenage years and helped me through hard times consisting of confusion and loneliness. i resonated better with catra & glimmer than any other fictional characters i had known before or would ever know since then. i found the art style soothing to stare at all the time. i appreciated the words of comfort we're supposed to internalize. it's been a consistent source of familiarity when i needed nothing more than to rewatch the same scenes repeatedly.

the online community surrounding western queer animation, and particularly this piece of media, kickstarted my hobby of collecting video edits, up to the thousands, that many talented creators have made, on an external drive. unfortunately i lost that project over the summer last year and it devastated me deeply, however i never stopped keeping track of my favorites and supporting the works i loved as i continued coming across them, such as this one to “the great war” by @somanypetals, which i will never stop recommending to others here ─ you can also go through my tag for this topic if you'd like! in fact, i also got back into video editing myself for the first time since 2021 last month!

additionally, it wouldn't be an authentic CBS post of mine if i didn't highlight how beautiful five by five takes' analysis videos on youtube are to me. their writing is a top-tier heart-wrenching gold mine and i've lost count of how many times i've rewatched through that playlist again and again. if you love this masterpiece as much as i do, you'll do so tenfold here. i still remember watching the first part of the series, "how she-ra gives us hope", when it was brand new, and i love bragging to fellow friends about being one of 5X5T's earliest subscribers from this fandom!

i (sort of but not really, which is a long complicated story on its own), came from the traumatized wave of angry voltron/KL fans. thankfully i didn't struggle with trusting the writers to follow through on the groundwork they laid down because it had only been my first fandom and therefore i hadn't been hurt by queerbaiting multiple times, but i say this because it was a big deal when she-ra's finale showed something on screen that could not be taken away or undone. catra & adora's romance helped me find peace & pride in my lesbian attraction. although i ended up not being homosexual despite failing to realize it for another year, i am still very much sapphic and wouldn't trade that gift for the world!

speaking of which, one of the best things you can find in a partner is the relatability of a common interest that brings out the emotional connection between you. i've seen @bluedandylyon around before, but i got to know xim more closely on the SPOP creative flex discord server after i jumped in activity there about a month and a half ago (and i only started being active on this blog again after creating it in 2022 back in august last year, it's amazing what that did for me). the two of us genuinely could not have clicked better with anyone else and i believe we were always destined to stumble into each other eventually. i don't know why the universe decided that time was to be so recent, but after spending half a decade single it's been very exciting to finally leave that break behind. because of SPOP, i asked them if they wanted to date on lesbian visibility day (april 26) and something within me renewed to make me the happiest i've ever been! 💟

my thoughts are too scattered and unorganized for this to feel like a proper essay of some sort, but i know i needed to get this done in time and i enjoyed it. i can't appreciate enough how much my identity, the core essence of who i am inside, has been shaped by this 50-episode cartoon. a simple love letter could never cover how important this reboot means to so many people, even if mattel still refuses to acknowledge it. ⚔️🌈💖

[sweetdispatch]

No hope - L. Hughes

masterlist pairing: Luke Hughes x girlfriend!reader summary: Luke's girlfriend is facing huge problems with her relationship warning: drinking, drug use, addiction, depression, suicide, death note: this one is personal, i'm struggling with the pain but i decided to write about it to help me in this day since it's the first time without her on her day... happy birthday A, wherever you are queen❤️

Astrid and Luke had been definition of high school sweethearts. They’ve met when they were 16 but for two years none of them make a move to be together. Everyone could see that they are flirty with each other. Luke’s friends knew he has a crush on her and Astrid’s friends knew she has a crush on him. Their dynamic changed on one of the parties.

They played truth or dare. Luke picked dare and had to kiss Astrid. He blushed after hearing this, but he did it. The kiss was full of love and faith. When they pulled away, they were laughing staring into each other eyes. Luke found the bravery to ask her to be his girlfriend. She gladly accepted this offer, and they became inseparable.

Their idyll hasn’t lasted long. Couple months after they became official couple, both were leaving for college. Luke was going to Michigan University when Astrid was heading to New York University. They decided to do long distance because they were seeing future with each other. Everything was going smoothly. Luke had been calling her every single day, Astrid was sending him pictures and nonsense texts all the time. Until New Year’s Eve 2021.

Astrid was stuck in New York and Luke was stuck in Michigan. They couldn’t see each other when they’ve been planning this since the college started. She was mad that things haven’t worked out and she got drunk. She found out that alcohol helps her to deal with the pain she’s having from being away from each other. She stared drinking more and more. Every weekend was a great opportunity for her to get hammered.

Luke knew about it but haven’t said a word. He understood that she might be overwhelmed with her major and just wants to party in her free time. Although, he didn’t know she’s drinking because of their long distance relationship. Her classes had never been an issue but Astrid haven’t corrected him. She preferred him to believe it’s because of the college. She didn’t want to make him feel guilty.

Year 2021-2022 was over. Right after final exam, Astrid went to Michigan to see Luke. They spent every day of their summer break together. His brothers were joking that they are glued to each other but none of them cared about it. They tried to make as many memories as they could before going back to their separate lives. Three months went super fast, and they had to split again.

Luke in his second year put all his focus on hockey. He started to neglect their relationship. There wasn't everyday calls, he barely responded on her texts. On the other hand, Astrid focused on her major. She knew that her constant partying wasn’t a good idea, so she wanted to be the best student. It worked only for the first semester.

Soon after, Astrid came back to her old habits, but drinking wasn’t the problem now. She started to experiment with drugs. Luke was ignoring her to focus on his career. She understood that. She always felt that at some point, he’s gonna pick hockey over her. When he heard from her friends that she’s doing drugs now, his world stopped. Luke felt responsible for this. He decided to concentrate on her. He knew that he must train her if he wants to achieve big things but now, Astrid was his priority.

Her addiction got worst; she couldn’t function without drugs. She started ditching her classes. Astrid felt like a failure the whole time. She felt that she’s failing everyone, her family, her friends and most importantly, her boyfriend. She didn’t want to be a burden for others. She preferred to suffer alone. Luke was trying his best to help her, but it was difficult on long distance.

In April, Luke signed contract with New Jersey and soon after he was there in the city playing in NHL. Astrid was proud of him. She was very vocal towards him about her feelings with the signing. He moved to his brother’s apartment to live closer to the rink, but in every chance, he had, he was visiting his girlfriend’s dorm.

Instead of feeling grateful for having him by his side, Astrid felt horrible. She didn’t want him to see her in this state. She was pushing him away, always making excuses. She was telling herself that she didn’t deserve him. He was a professional hockey player, and she was just a student with depression and drug addiction. Her mind was playing tricks on her.

Astrid haven’t had the bravery to break up with him. She loved him deeply, but she knew there’s no hope for their relationship. She tried to do everything to force him to break up with her. Luke’s mind never crossed the thought of breaking up with her. She was the best thing that happened to him, and he wanted to help her with getting out of it.

After the season was over for Luke, he left her for couple of days. He needed to be back in Michigan. He told Astrid about this trip and promised her to be back as fast as he could. She was delighted that he was leaving her. She didn’t want to be a burden to him. She was into her mind for too long and wanted this to end. While he was gone, she decided to go on her last party.

Astrid went wild that night. She drank like there’s no tomorrow. She was mixing every alcohol and every drug she could. After the party, she hasn’t woken up. She never woke up again. She finally felt free from the pain she had been dealing with for the past two years. One thing she haven’t thought about before she decided to commit suicide was aftermatch of her decision.

Her family was heartbroken, their only child was gone. All her friends were mourning over her death. The one that had the biggest problem to accept this was Luke. He felt like it’s all his fault. He was beating himself for leaving her. He knew about her problems and struggles yet; he hasn’t helped her enough.

Luke was carrying the grief with him. He couldn’t forgive himself for what happened. He carried with him her picture in his wallet and her hair band on his wrist. He couldn’t believe she was gone but decided to cherish every moment they’ve spent.

[cheriladycl01]

My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 6

Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.

A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!

After the shit show of a party, you woke up earlier than everyone else and left the docked boat. You caught the earliest flight back to the UK. You were so pissed with your friends and brother that they’d just up and left you in the club.

The whole flight home, you pondered whether you just really needed to grow up about ever situation in your life.

Lando and the clubbing group leaving you? They were drunk and probably saw you with loads of other people and assumed you were safe and good.

Charles admitting his feelings for you? You arguably needed to focus more on your career that you’d worked so hard for, you didn’t have time for boys and if Charlie really did care for you like he said, he would understand.

Max sleeping or dating your best friend? Good for him, he should be happy.

You needed to not be bitter about all of these minor blips in your life and just get on with it.

Little did you know that this would create a version of you so far from her normal bubbly self that even people who hadn’t spoken to you in years would be able to tell something wasn’t right with you.

Max and Charles had both tried to contact you through texts and phone calls all which had been ignored, you knew it was for the best to just let it all go and leave it at a what could have been. You had responsibilities far greater that you needed to focus on.

When it came to after the summer having left your brother and gone travelling on your own, updating your Instagram and family group chat whenever you managed to get wifi, you were back and raring to go for your home race.

Lando had sent a text to the family group chat asking who would be coming. He wanted to invite Luisa and only had two passes to give out. So that would mean one for Luisa and one for his dad.

Lando - Can you give your paddock passes to mum and Flo, Cisca can’t make it because of Uni

Y/N - Kinda awkward i had someone in mind i wanted to bring :(

Lando - come on its mum and your little sister Y/N don’t be rude and give up your pass to some random dude you met in Bali …

You ignored it, before going to McLaren and begging Zac for a spare paddock pass. You gave your original 2 to your mum and Flo, but your next one went to Nathan Bishop, he was a goalkeeper for Manchester United and you’d met him on a trip you’d been doing in Bali and he immediately knew who you were and you guys got talking and one thing led to another and you were inviting each other to your sports.

In the time you’d travelled he’d became a really good friend and you didn’t feel as lonely as you had since starting in F1. It was really refreshing.

You met him before, driving him to the paddock in your McLaren and pulling up into the Silverstone car park together.

“Thanks for the pass, I’ve never been to a race before so this is actually really exciting for me” he smiles waiting as you grab your bag from the back seat.

“Always welcome!” You grinned back.

“Mmmm and I’m excited to see if you are really as good as you say you are!” He teases elbowing you as you swipe your pass through the paddock scanners.

“Hey! I am a good driver! I got you here safely didn’t I?” You smile and he just nods, you point out various bits of the paddock talking about all the hustle and bustle and all the different teams and the workers running around fitting last minute bits to the motorhomes.

“Oh come on! We need to get you some McLaren team merch!” You grin pulling him to the quiet fan zone thanks to the early time it was and going to the merch stool.

“Hiya! Oh Y/N! How are you?” The worker smiles noticing it’s you.

“Hey! I’m really good! How are you? It’s hot today, make sure you drink lots of water! Radio through and ask for top ups yeah? And don’t forget sun cream!” You chide knowing sometimes the workers forget that they are humans and will push themselves till breaking point!

“Thank you! Really and I’m all good” she says flashing you the large icy bottle of water she had behind the stand with her. “What can I get for you?”

“Any chance we can get the Y/N number hat?” You grin turning to look at Nathan who just rolls his eyes but can’t help the smile that comes into his face.

“Sure! We have lots on stock today, as you know it’s home race! Good luck by the way! I know you’ll do great!” She smiles and hands you the number 42 on the baseball cap. You place it on Nathan’s head who just laughs at your antics but keeps that hat on before paying the lady for it in cash.

“Hey! I was gonna pay for it! I’m the one that got you to buy merch!” You exclaim in horror.

“Mmmm but it’s my hat … so I should pay for it!” He explains with a cat like grin.

“Argh fine come on! I want to show you round the garage and do track walk with you!” You say gently taking his hand and pulling him through the growing numbers of people in the paddock.

You showed him all around the garage and even let him sit in your car which he was really impressed with how low to the ground it felt, and how much the halo restricted vision. After showing him the pit wall and all of the engineers working and running around before free practice you took him out onto the track to do a walk.

The sun wasn’t as harsh anymore and it had started to cloud over a little bit meaning that the track walk wasn’t as strenuous as you anticipated it would be.

You guys walked around talking about the season so far and how it felt being a rookie along with Yuki Tsunoda.

Afterwards it was time for you to have a team meeting and you didn’t want to leave Nathan on his own so you walked him to the hospitality suite to find your parents.

“Mum Dad! Hey this is Nathan! Can you just watch out for him while I’m in the car please!” You ask kindly showing Nathan to a seat with your family.

“Of course sweetheart! Hi Nathan, I’m Adam, this is my wife Cisca” he introduces standing up slightly and leaning forward to shake the younger gentleman’s hand.

“You gonna be okay?” You ask, unsure if you should just bring him to the garage and find him a seat and headphones and leave him there.

“Yeah - I’ll be” he starts only for commotion behind to stop his words.

“Sorry, I’m running late. Oh … whose this?” Lando asks looking over to Nathan, someone he didn’t think would be around his family.

“This is your sisters guest, hence the hat” your mum explained pointing to the hat still on Nathans head.

“Right … yeah I just came here to drop Luisa off. Please look after her and … you know don’t be weird” he begs as Luisa starts to talk to both Flo and Nathan.

“We’re never weird! Now you both have to go get ready!” your dad grins forcing you both away.

You start to walk together to the garage in an awkward silence until Lando breaks it.

“So you brought a boyfriend with you?” Lando scoffs looking towards you.

“And what if I did?” What’s it to you, you brought Luisa!” You say looking to him confused why it was such an issue you’d brought a guy (who wasn’t anything to do with you romantically).

“Because your playing with a lot of hearts here Y/N and it’s not exactly fair. First Charles, then Max, then Charles again and then Max and now this guy? Max and Charles are my friends Y/N and I can’t help but feel like your going to go one step too far and ruin all of this …” he complains and for a second your stunned into silence not knowing what to even say.

“How am I toying with Max and Charles when Max is off with my best friend and Charles … is so hot headed that I don’t know if I can take the heat of him yelling at me for an overtake every race weekend! So how am I the one playing with hearts when it’s feels like mines the only one being toyed with, even by my own fucking brother!” You cried out frustrated with him, but that was Lando. He always spoke before he thought about what he was saying. Both a blessing and a curse.

You started to hurry off no longer wanting to entertain this conversation.

“Y/N wait … I didn’t mean it like that” Lando admits speeding up after you and walking in step with you trying to slow you down.

“We have a meeting to get to. Let’s not waste anymore time” you say coldly, so coldly it actually caused Lando to shiver as he never had heard that tone of voice or anything remotely close come from you.

Briefing for what it was, was pretty boring only talking about the upgrades they’d brought to this weeks Grand Prix. Lando had the full package and you had half, the others to come next week in Hungary.

You were in the garage after changing into your fireproofs, your race suit hanging down off your hips talking to your engineer about strategy for Silverstone, but it was always changeable depending on the track temp and the weather.

FP1 clearly showed Landos new flashy upgrades and how much quicker it made the car placing him in P2 in between Max and Lewis, the two battling it out for the championship this year.

As for you down in 9th you’d just been testing the track and were on different tyres to the top few people, wanting to test out the hards.

As the weekend progressed and the less you concentrated on all of yours issues and just had fun while concentrating on the race weekend you got better. Ending up starting in a decent P6 for the race and getting points in the Sprint that was held earlier on in the day.

“Okay Y/N, it’s looking like Plan B. Reports of rain on the radar for the last half of the race” your engineer says as you pull up into your P6 stop, next to Lando both your Orange McLarens locking out your row.

“Okay, do we have a pit plan?” You ask knowing you were on mediums in hopes they’d last long enough to get you onto Intermediates or Wet if it’s due to rain that badly.

“We’re checking now, looking into stuff with Lando too and seeing what the other teams and looking at doing, but looking like Pit Plan E”

“Yep, copied” he grit out unhappy that they are already prioritising your brother.

“Well Y/N let’s get racing for you first F1 home race! Lecelrc and Bottas in front of you and Lando, Alonso and Vettel behind you and both. And then Max and Hamilton front row” he explains, you knew you had to get a good start to overtake your brother and possibly Charles if there was an opening so as you were driving round the formation lap, you cleared your mind of everything but racing.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall l @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[renfieldrenrat]

Hello everyone!

I've made a Spinal Fusion flag to represent those struggling, recovering or simply living with a fused spine, like me!

I was diagnosed with a S curved scoliosis at the age of 5 and had surgery in summer of 2021, alongside multiple complications.

There seems to be not much representation to this specifically at all despite spinal surgery awareness! Sooo I thought I'll make something myself :]

Explaination:

(Ribbon featured is the scoliosis ribbon)

Not all wounds are visible 💜

[bokujou-monogatari]

So, the Marvelous CEO stepped down.

Let's talk about that!

❕This post contains speculative discussion covering: Marvelous Entertainment, Rune Factory, Story of Seasons, and touches on other IPs in the Marvelous folio. Also some fiscal discussion! It might be boring 😅...❕

Following the money

For those unaware, Marvelous isn't doing so well fiscally. In response to a (consistently) poor earnings report from 2024, the current Marvelous CEO Sato Suminobu announced his retirement from the position to elevate Shinichi Terui (an executive director) in his place.

The reasoning for the poor fiscal reporting was cited as "too few core IP releases and low sales".

What does that mean for the future? Well, while this decision focuses on 2024's performance, let's first take a bit to recap the first-time releases from 2019 to now:

January 18, 2019: Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes

June 3, 2019: Dead or School

June 9, 2019: Senran Kagura: Peach Ball

July 18, 2019: WACCA

September 13, 2019: Daemon x Machina

October 17, 2019: Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town

February 6, 2020: Granblue Fantasy: Versus

February 25, 2020: Rune Factory 4 Special

August 25, 2020: Kandagawa Jet Girls

November 5, 2020: Shadowverse: Champion's Battle

November 10, 2020: Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin

February 25, 2021: Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olive Town

May 20, 2021: Rune Factory 5

(Almost a year later!) May 19, 2022: Deadcraft

October 17, 2022: Potionomics

November 2, 2022: Doraemon Story of Seasons: Friends of the Great Kingdom

January 26, 2023: Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life

March 2, 2023: Rune Factory 3 Special

June 1, 2023: Loop8: Summer of Gods

October 3, 2023: Silent Hope

November 3, 2023: Fashion Dreamer

November 9, 2023: Cuisineer

(Almost a year later, again!) November 1, 2024: Farmagia

Dry Spells

From 2019 to 2024, 23 titles (please correct me if I missed any!) were delivered. 2022 and 2024 were undoubtedly fiscally dry periods, with one-year periods between releases.

Of the released titles in this period, 10 were from more notorious series; and 6 of those were from the company's self-described Flagship IPs (3 from Story of Seasons and Rune Factory respectively)!

Despite Rune Factory and Story of Seasons being flagship IPs, over half of the games (4/6) released 2019-2024 were remakes or remasters of previous titles (Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town, Rune Factory 4 Special, Rune Factory 3 Special, and Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life), leaving only 2 titles as standalone, new mainline entries in their respective series. Oh, and there was Doraemon too, I guess.

Even with the massive sales seen - with Pioneers of Olive Town being the fastest selling XSEED published title ever and Rune Factory 5 topping 500,000 units sold worldwide after an unprecedented comeback - the games still massively under-performed at launch. The backlash was so strong for Olive Town that the producer (Dai Takemura) was run off his social media platforms and formally apologized for the poor launch. Rune Factory 5 also suffered during the Japanese launch, garnering criticisms from Japanese and North American fans alike amid celebrations of the series' return. This left fans in each space wondering what their favorite series would look like after such rocky starts on the new Nintendo Switch hardware.

The Future, Sprouting

Despite the struggles and setbacks, and nothing to really "make it rain", the flagship series are continuing to grow with 2 new additions to Story of Seasons - a cross-play online multiplayer title, and the next mainline game (purportedly the 30th anniversary entry) - and 2 new Rune Factory games - with entry 6 in development, and Guardians of Azuma releasing in May 2025.

These games are really going to have to do something outstanding to make up for the broken trust of their fans. But with a company struggling with its financials, there's always going to be a tug of war between satisfying fans and generating revenue.

This is where speculative analysis on my part comes in.

Flexible and Mobile

Current market trends point towards more open-world, cel-shaded style games for mobile (ala Hoyoverse games, Wuthering Waves notably). And the Nintendo Switch is, after all, a glorified touchscreen tablet. It's not lost on fans that there's something going on in the background regarding the games' development, and how eerily alike they are in visuals into some of the bigger, heavy hitting and grossing mobile titles out there.

The style on its own is simplistic, colorful, and warm. It's also very fast to develop and refine - no overly complicated textures or super granular details. The art direction also makes it lighter than other games which have many materials or polygons. It just works.

However, that can point to speculation around development; whether the studio is trying to streamline into shorter times...or is headed in a mobile direction. Let's take a look at some recently released screenshots from Guardians of Azuma.

There are elements of UI design displayed here that would feel right at home on a device held in one's hands, and not just with controllers in palms! Make no mistake, mobile is not an insult here. In fact, mobile may be just the direction these series need in order to sustain themselves in the current market era. Mobile gaming currently accounts for (roughly) 110 billion USD annually, across the globe! Even indies like Stardew Valley can see sizeable mobile market gains from concurrent releases on app stores.

It also wouldn't be the first time either series appeared on mobile. A company with as long a history and staying power as Marvelous would surely see no small number of players and a steady revenue for Story of Seasons and Rune Factory by tapping back into that market. Perhaps we're due to see things sprout on that platform soon?

(What happened to that in-development Story of Seasons Mobile title, anyway...?)

[vague-humanoid]

Though calling out antisemitism is central to the commissioners’ role, it’s unclear what qualifies these officials to adjudicate anti-Jewish bigotry. Klein, for instance, came to his current position after a stint working as the German government’s representative to Jewish organizations, but prior to that, he spent most of his career in Germany’s foreign service working on unrelated issues, stationed in places like Cameroon and Italy. When I visited him in his office in Berlin last April, only a menorah decal pasted on one of the windows hinted at the nature of his position. Klein told me that there are no standardized training programs for the commissioners or educational requirements that they must fulfill before their appointments. Schüler-Springorum pointed out that, though references to the Holocaust underlie every aspect of Germany’s antisemitism system, many of the commissioners are far from experts on the history in question. “It’s amazing how little they know about National Socialism,” she lamented. None of the antisemitism commissioners for either the German Federal Government or its Bundesländer, or states, is ethnically Jewish—which, according to Klein, is by design. “The fight against antisemitism is a problem for the whole of society. It isn’t a problem for the Jewish community to face by itself,” he told me. “I mean, it’s not as though the most pressing problem with antisemitism in Germany is among Jews.”

Indeed, when Jews interact directly with the system, it is often as its targets: Klein told the Berliner Zeitung in a January 2021 interview that “tendentially left-leaning Israelis in Berlin” should “be sensitive to Germany’s special historical responsibility” when they criticize Israel. In the eyes of the commissioners, this seems to be all the more true of Muslims and Arabs—especially Palestinians—who voice support for the Palestinian cause. “Palestinians are like a thorn in the side of Germany’s memory culture,” Palestinian German lawyer Nadija Samour told Jewish Currents. They’re “disposable,” but also “crucial for the German identity . . . If you really want to prove how civilized you are, and how philosemitic or pro-Israel you are, you get the chance to prove that by throwing Palestinians under the bus.”

This commitment to Israel advocacy—which requires disciplining the state’s Jewish critics as well as suppressing Palestinian speech—has led observers to argue that the system of antisemitism commissioners exists less to ensure the safety of Jews than to placate Germans’ feelings of guilt for the Holocaust. Indeed, last summer, in the course of admonishing Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas for comparing Israel’s crimes to the Holocaust during his visit to Germany, Klein emphasized the way that antisemitism hurts Germans. “By relativizing the Holocaust, President Abbas lacked any sensitivity towards us German hosts,” Klein said. Emily Dische-Becker, a left-wing Jewish curator and journalist in Berlin, told Jewish Currents that German antisemitism efforts are ultimately not driven by a concern for Jews. “It basically is an issue of German identity politics at the end of the day,” she said. Neiman—whose 2019 book Learning from the Germans argues that the nation provides a model for other countries struggling with the weight of collective memory—told me that the creation of the commissioner system, and the passage of the anti-BDS resolution the following year, had caused her to question her previous evaluation. “Things have changed really dramatically since the book came out,” she said. “I still think that Germany did something historically unique by putting its crimes in the center of its national narrative, but I also think it’s gone haywire in the last three years. This system of antisemitism commissioners basically went in all the wrong directions.”

[nataliadrawing]

This drawing from 2021 is very special to me. I spent all summer of 2021 really struggling with my art, not knowing how to improve my compositions.

Around that time I started watching videos from Lightbox Online and that got me into learning online. It's amazing how many ressources there are available these days! I'm a very slow learner and it takes me ages to work through a video, but it has already helped so much! Anyway, back in 2021 this was the first drawing where I finally felt ok with the direction my art was taking and it made me hopeful to improve further. It's actually based on a similar drawing from 2019. I like how the new one feels so much more airy!

[enderblogs-25]

"Everyone's autistic now," "Why's there so much autism," "So many kids faking autism these days."

You know. I had been suspecting I was autistic since I started to understand what that meant, around middle school. I was working with two different autistic kids in a Girl Scout troop I led with my mom, and they did/said things that felt familiar. But I didn't dare bring up those thoughts, because my little cousin was autistic, that was his thing, and I didn't want to seem like I was looking for attention.

I started looking into autism for real when I hit my 20's, because those suspicions never went away... just buried. I had been focusing on other areas of my life anyway - my transition. But that was over, and I could see that things were still "off" about me. I love diving deep into different disabilities, disorders, and mental illnesses, but avoided autism because I was scared of what I'd find. I took maybe one test, masked up and guarded as hell, and because of that it said I wasn't autistic. I didn't answer truthfully, so I went looking elsewhere. ADHD, maybe. I ended up trying to get an ADHD diagnosis, and got misdiagnosed with a personality disorder that can be misdiagnosed in autistic adults. I felt I didn't have an option but to accept the diagnosis, because I was on my way to Chicago; out of time and out of money.

Nearly six months after the misdiagnosis, while I had been looking into the personality disorder and knew for certain I didn't meet the criteria for a diagnosis, (but masked through the appointments, which is how I got it) I had worked extensively on unmasking. I learned many neurodivergencies masked, and thought I'd give unmasking a shot, soon realizing I'd been doing it forever. Once I got better at unmasking, I eventually looked into autism again. What would it hurt to be told no twice? I took a couple quizzes again. Slowed down, answered honestly, and gave every answer my full attention. And I scored high on every one. It was terrifying. But it was also... a relief? While a few of those quizzes weren't too be taken seriously, I did take tests on official sites made by and for autistic people. When I came home from Chicago in summer 2022, I told my mom and showed her all my past scores on official tests like the RAADS, one of which I take annually. Part of me still has doubts that I'm not faking it, I guess.

All of this, at least past 2021, has occurred while people have been posting their own stores about discovering and getting diagnosed as adults. While I initially started looking into things on my own, hearing these people's stories on occasion really, really helped. Random strangers on the internet in a reel telling me they'd been overlooked because they were afab, did well in school, and didn't have many other adults around to see a difference... really helped. I could sneak into the autistic tags on Tumblr and look around at posts, relate to them silently, write down my findings in my little notebook, and go about my day. This "autism boom" as it were really helped, just because everyone suddenly showing off who they are, telling the world "I'm different and that's okay," really, really... helped. I know why I've always felt different and wrong, I know why I struggle with certain things, and I know why certain things will likely never be possible on my own. That's so much better than going thrift my life wondering and beating myself up because I can't function like everyone else.

Everyone isn't suddenly being diagnosed as autistic, now. People are just... starting to listen. Starting to get more comfortable. Obtaining more resources. And it's really nice. ❤️

[master-john-uk]

17th April 2022 - My dear cousin Richard passed away peacefully in his sleep.

From a very young age we were like brothers. And we always remained very close, even though our chosen careers led us in different directions.

The previous summer Richard had been diagnosed with bowel cancer. He told everybody, including his son almost immediately... but he did not reveal the true extent of his illness. Two weeks later Richard told me that his cancer was incurable. But I was sworn to secrecy... until he had told the rest of the family himself.

Richard remained active and in surprisingly good spirits for the rest of 2021... even though his chemotherapy left him with some nasty side effects. During this time he planned his own funeral in great detail. At Richard's request, I hosted a big family party... "Like the ones we used to have Grandad's when we were kids."

The Christmas Day and Boxing Day parties went extremely well. A few members of our extended family turned up, who I had not seen for years... as well as a well known singer who Richard had worked with in the past. Although he was starting to struggle... Richard really enjoyed and appreciated the Christmas.

In January 2022, Richard started going downhill quite rapidly, and began having mobility difficulties. He insisted on staying in his own home on Ashdown Forest. So we moved a bed to the ground floor, so that he did not have to climb the stairs. I visited Richard most days... except when work meant I was not in the area. His son went to see him every day, and a neighbour also checked up on Richard at least once a day.

During Richard's last few weeks, I took him on a tour of the places we used to visit together in Kent and Sussex. We both loved it as remembered the good times together. Driving Richard home, he said, "Let's stop for a drink."

I stopped at his local pub at Chelwood Gate. I got his wheelchair out of the boot... but he refused to use it. "I might have been carried out of a pub. But I've always walked in!"

Using crutches Richard struggled into the bar, and we had a very enjoyable hour. That was the last drink we ever had together!

God bless you, Richard! The spotted the first Forget-Me-Nots flowering in your memory yesterday evening

[hydrangeas-and-hives]

Spencer Cassadine x Trina Robinson General Hospital Lore

The following is an imperfectly formatted but comprehensive explanation of everything that happened to Spencer and/or Trina during the 2021 and 2022 storylines.

Here are the important characters and relationships to know:

Spencer Cassadine is the son of Nikolas Cassadine and his late mistress/fiancée, Courtney Matthews, who died shortly after his birth. His paternal grandmother is Laura Collins, the mayor of Port Charles and a board member at General Hospital. The Cassadine family is ultra wealthy/powerful and apparently they’re all trying to kill each other over the family inheritance. 

Spencer was conceived during an affair that his parents had while they were both married to other people, so his life has always been messy. Spencer was considered an orphan after his father was supposedly killed by another Cassadine in 2016. Nikolas was revealed to be alive 3 years later. His grandmother, Laura Collins has been his legal guardian since his father's presumed death.

He was “away at boarding school in France” until Nicholas Chavez took over the role as an adult Spencer.

His father Nikolas is married to Ava Jerome, and their marriage is and was full of drama apparently. Spencer DESPISES Ava, mostly surrounding his father’s fake death, apparently she refused to testify against his murderer. He acts like she’s the most vile woman on earth and resents everything she does.

Spencer ends up trying to blackmail his father and stepmother into divorcing, however there are complications regarding money/inheritance that makes his dad not cooperate with the schemes. Spencer makes it his mission to terrorize Ava as much as possible, sending her disturbing/threatening gifts and letters anonymously to “scare” her into divorcing Nikolas on her own, so the family fortune won’t be compromised. Upon graduating from boarding school, Spencer returns to Port Charles but keeps his distance to secretly stalk and victimize Nikolas/Ava. This is how he meets Trina Robinson.

Trina Robinson is the daughter of Dr. Portia Robinson, who is co-chief of staff at General Hospital. Her father is Lieutenant Marcus Taggert. While Taggert was away on assignment, Portia had an affair with Curtis Ashford. It has been hinted that Curtis is Trina's biological father. Taggert at one point was presumed dead but was then revealed to be alive prior to the 2021 storyline. Taggert and Dr. Robinson divorced, and eventually she reconnects with Curtis, which Trina struggles to accept. Trina is passionate about art and is an intern at the Jerome Gallery. She is very close with her boss, Ava Jerome, who treats her like a daughter.

The night of Trina’s high school graduation party, Spencer breaks into the Jerome Gallery while wearing a mask and Trina runs into him. She throws a remote at his head and sets off Spencer's trap of spraying fake blood all over the gallery using the sprinkler system.

Spencer goes to Trina's party, entering the back way and scaring her. However, she doesn’t recognize him as her “attacker” at all. They talk and flirt, with Spencer complimenting her, and claiming his name is Victor and that he's a barback at the nightclub. They continue to “run into each other” and an true flirtmance starts between the two, but Spencer tells half-truths about his backstory to keep his identity a mystery. His deceptions eventually catch up with him when he reunites with his childhood frenemies, Josslyn Jacks and Cameron Webber, who happen to be Trina’s current best friends.

Josslyn is the daughter of a wealthy hotel magnate?? but Cameron’s mom is a nurse and his family situation is apparently messier with some financial struggle, and Cameron works to support his mom/siblings and put himself through school. At one point, Trina and Cameron had a mild crush on each other, but ultimately decided they were better off as friends. By summer of 2021, Josslyn and Cameron have started dating, and Trina is supportive. All 3 of them are about to start their freshman year at Port Charles University (PCU). 

Spencer runs into them at Josslyn’s mom’s hotel pool club, and the three immediately start teasing and throwing jabs at each other, with Joss eventually pushing Spencer into the pool. Trina arrives at the club, and Joss initiates an introduction between her and their old classmate Spencer Cassadine, who emerges from the pool and locks eyes with Trina. In a very Grease-like fashion, Trina doesn’t appreciate being lied to and their flirtmance ceases. 

Spencer re-enters his family’s orbit, and they welcome him with open arms, having no idea that he’s their stalker/blackmailer. Spencer openly hates Ava though. Spencer’s girlfriend from boarding school, Esme Prince arrives in Port Charles. She immediately rubs his family the wrong way and is cold to everyone she meets. This girl REPELS charm and everyone barely tolerates her. She and Spencer apparently trauma bonded at boarding school because they both believed themselves to be orphans. Esme really butts heads with Josslyn, yet the 5 youths form a frenemy group that constantly spends time with each other. Esme is also clearly jealous of Trina and her connection with Spencer. There’s sexual/romantic tension between them, but they don’t act upon it.

Spencer’s stalking/blackmailing of his father and stepmother gets extreme, I think he does something that puts Ava’s young daughter (from another relationship) in jeopardy, and he eventually gets caught. I think Ava decides to press charges for all of the emotional distress and threats to her life. Spencer is put on trial and despite many attempts to use rich white male privilege to get off, he is sentenced to 30 days in prison as well as restitution, having to work at the Jerome Gallery for free under Trina’s supervision. I didn’t get the full context, but Trina got caught in the crossfires of all of Spencer’s legal troubles, and they aren’t on good terms generally, but Spencer really regrets hurting her. I think he tries to make amends around Christmas time. It also turns out that Esme was helping Spencer pull off the threatening pranks and blackmail attempts, but she did it because she “loved” him and wanted to be supportive. Somehow Esme is not incriminated legally for being an accomplice. 

On an attempted friends trip up to Josslyn’s family’s mountain cabin before Spencer’s prison stay, Esme literally stirs up drama by spiking Trina’s drink and initiating a game of never have I ever with the intent to drive a wedge between Trina and Josslyn. The game prompts eventually cause a clearly drugged Trina to get upset and admit that she did have some sore feelings about Joss and Cameron’s relationship, mostly how she felt left out of their friend group dynamic. Clearly unwell, Trina excuses herself from the group, and passes out in a bedroom. Josslyn and Esme get into a screaming match over the incident, and Esme convinces Spencer to leave the cabin early with her, saying they’ll come back for their belongings later. However, before she left, Esme set up a phone to record Josslyn and Cameron’s bed with the intent to capture them having sex for the first time. She recorded this using a burner phone she bought from a black market dealer. 

Spencer goes to prison for a 30 day sentence in January of 2022. On his last night before leaving, he and Trina have a moment of romantic friendliness and almost kiss before Esme interrupts them. While she’s visiting him in prison, Spencer asks Esme if she’ll return to the cabin to get some personal items for him, and it’s presumed that this errand is when Esme retrieved the burner phone. On Valentine's Day, Spencer secretly arranges for an art book of her favorite artist to be gifted to Trina. 

I could not find any clips of the show between February and May 2022, but in that timeframe the following apparently happened: 

At some point, Trina meets and develops a friendly rapport with Rory Cabrera, a local police officer. After getting out of prison, Spencer did go to work at Jerome Gallery for at least a little while, and tensions between him and Trina were high. He’s visibly jealous of the budding friendship between Trina and Rory, but his relationship with Esme is technically stronger than ever. Him and Esme are living with his father at the family estate, but his relationship with his family still needs work. 

Esme posted the intimate video of Joss/Cameron online and distributed it to the PCU student body, and somehow framed Trina for the crime, setting her up as a scorned friend who recorded/posted revenge porn. It’s convincing enough for Trina to be formally accused by the university and is put on trial under some serious felony charges that could totally destroy her life/ambitions. 

Fast forward to July 2022, Esme also apparently slept with Nikolas in a fit of passion, and is keeping a multitude of secrets from Spencer about who she is. She claims to be an orphan who’s adoptive parents ALSO died, and she was raised by a nanny before attending boarding school. However, she’s actually the daughter of a known serial killer, and is doing his bidding in secret. 

Spencer’s feelings for Esme were once apparently genuine (trauma bond) but he’s now fed up with her lies and schemes (at least the ones he knows about.) Spencer hatches a plot to help Trina in her legal case, and threatens Esme with an ultimatum and offers to tell her information about her supposed birth mother if she exonerates Trina. Esme, not wanting to incriminate herself, angrily turns down Spencer. Esme goes to her serial killer dad and tells him that Spencer found her birth mother, but he claims that Spencer is lying. During their talk, he promises Esme that they will destroy their enemies and then find her birth mother together.

At Trina’s trials, all of the friends give testimonies that seem to only incriminate Trina further, Spencer included, even though they all know she’s innocent and believe Esme is responsible. Spencer pleads with Esme to exonerate Trina, and lets her know that he doesn’t care about her anymore. Esme at one point says to him “and your precious Trina goes free,” to which he emphatically responds, “yes.” Even though Rory and Trina are embracing mere feet away, and it clearly hurts him, he says he doesn’t care if he can’t be with her, he just refuses to let her go down for something she didn’t do. It’s evident that he loves her, and this is possibly what triggers his good boy arc?? 

Nikolas admits to Ava that he slept with Esme. She does not take it well. Esme testifies at Trina’s trial, and Trina’s lawyer reads her for filth, which seems to help her case just a bit. Trina prepares to give her own testimony, but Spencer asks her lawyer for the chance to testify again as part of the defense, clearly desperate to save her. He reveals that Trina was with him the night the video was posted, incriminating HIMSELF because this happened during his prison sentence. She wasn’t visiting him in prison, he had arranged for an “off the books” day pass to leave.. Apparently the day he escaped was the anniversary of his mother’s death and he wanted to go put flowers on her grave. He apparently ran into Trina at the cemetery (as far as I can tell, this was never shown on screen.) When Trina’s lawyer asks why he’s admitting this, Spencer starts crying and looks at Trina, saying “at a certain point you have to stop doing the easy thing, and start doing the right thing.” Spencer openly accuses Esme of being responsible for the video, which clearly means a lot to Trina. The prosecuting attorney holds on to the idea that Trina could have scheduled the email, setting up an example for the jury to witness, and it appears that Spencer’s testimony might have failed to absolve Trina and only incriminate himself. 

Back at the Cassadine family home, Esme attempts to flee but gets caught by Ava, calling her a “conniving little whore.” They have a full, drawn out confrontation and Ava proves herself to be pretty ruthless, eventually threatening Esme’s life if she doesn’t come clean. 

Outside of the courtroom, Spencer admits to his father that his previous support of Esme in all of this was an act to try to get her to slip up and confess to him. He says he never believed Trina would hurt her friends that way. He gets very worked up and it’s obvi he’s spiraling. 

Trina preps to finally give her testimony as court goes back into session, and she shares some longing looks with Spencer. She tells everyone that she was at the cemetery that day to work on an art history project, and never expected/was shocked to see Spencer there, as he was supposed to be incarcerated. When asked why she kept that alibi a secret, she emotionally shares that she hoped there would be enough evidence to prove her innocence without having to jeopardize his future/harm him. Her lawyer openly suggests that this was an act of love. At this point Trina and Spencer are both visibly emotional. She asks some more clarifying questions about how Trina was feeling during that trip, and after confirming that Trina did not have romantic feelings for Cameron, Trina confesses that she DID feel that way about Spencer, which puts a smile on his face for the first time this whole episode. 

Meanwhile, Ava and Esme have gotten into a full blown physical altercation over a mysterious letter Esme was attempting to take with her. This results in Ava pushing Esme off the balcony. Nikolas arrives just afterward, and goes looking for Esme and/or her body, and she has DISAPPEARED. Ava and Nikolas scheme to make themselves look as innocent as possible. 

Trina continues her testimony, and recounts the details of how they met, claiming that nothing ever happened between them, she no longer has romantic feelings for him, and how she figured he only ever saw her as a friend. She shares that Esme knew how Trina felt and was suspicious of their friendship, and gives some details about Esme’s history of shady behavior/her involvement in the stalking/torturing of Ava Jerome. She also reiterates how much Joss/Cam’s friendship means to her and that she’d never do anything to hurt them, especially something so heinous and violating as revenge porn. The prosecutor asks about how much she had to drink, and Trina shares her experience of feeling awful after just one drink. It’s so painfull obvious that Trina was roofied idk why people aren’t coming to that conclusion. Apparently Trina did go visit Spencer in prison once while Esme happened to be there interning, and shares that her purse was out of her sight at one point and Esme possibly planted the burner phone in her bag at that time. When Trina finally leaves the stand, Spencer gives her an encouraging nod. 

After the trial is over, Rory tries to comfort Trina while Spencer lingers. Trina tries to say she owes him an apology, but he responds with “You owe me nothing, I should have spoken up from the start.” Spencer is promptly put under arrest for breaking out of prison, to which Trina tries to defend him. He tells her it’s ok and looks back at her as he’s taken away. 

Rory takes Trina to the pool club to unwind after the trial (lol) and she attempts to talk through her complicated feelings about what Spencer did. Apparently she was under the impression that he was on Esme’s side this whole time, so now she’s confused about him. She word vomits to Rory about how she’s convinced he’s not into her anymore, and Rory is very nice and tells her clearly that he’s into her and is just trying to be supportive. They share a kiss and low key establish that they want to be together.

While being questioned at the police station, Spencer recounts his motives for breaking out of prison, sharing his emotional turmoil at the thought of not being able to put flowers on his mother’s grave. When asked why he confessed now, he says “for Trina.” Nikolas arrives and the two debrief on how to proceed, and Spencer asks his father to make sure Esme doesn’t leave town. Nikolas confesses that she disappeared, but doesn’t share the details. 

Many episodes go by and we’re still waiting to hear the jury’s decision on Trina’s trial. Spencer is offered a plea deal but denies it so he won’t have to name names in who helped him escape. He’s going to opt to do 3 months in prison instead. 

Spencer shows up to Trina’s sentencing and they have a conversation about the whole situation. He basically insinuates he did all of it for her to have a chance to be free. 

Backin it up a second, Esme bought the burner phone from this guy named Oz or Ozzy that Trina and Joss tried to get info from many many episodes ago. He got spooked and confronted Esme, and she drugged HIM, making him slip into a coma. He was found by Trina’s dad and was being treated at GH, and Dr. Robinson found a way to wake him up so he could testify against Esme in court. His testimony immediately absolves Trina and the charges are dropped. Everyone takes a moment to congratulate Trina on her victory, and Spencer is the last to talk to her. The flirtmance is back for a moment, and he tells her how happy he is that she’s exonerated. She asks him to finally tell her what “changed”(bc she still didn’t believe that he was truly on her side until recently) to which he responds, “everything.” He starts to try to tell her something that seems important, saying he’s waited for this moment for so long but now he’s tongue tied. Before he can say it though, Trina’s parents interrupt them. When they get back to talking, he tells her that’s he’s going to prison for 3 months, that it’s what he deserves, and that it’s worth it because he was able to help her. Tragically, she’s still hung up on the fact that he ever appeared to be on Esme’s side, and Spencer asks him to hear his explanation, but RORY walks in and he loses his chance. She tells him she’s sorry he has to go back to prison, but she wishes he’d realized who Esme really was “sooner.” 

Cameron and Josslyn yell at Spencer for not explaining the full story to Trina and not coming forward sooner. He explains that he “needed to be the one that saved Trina because…” and hesitates. Joss pushes him to explain and assumes selfish reasons, and he responds, “no because I LOVE HER.” Spencer walks out of the court room just in time to see Trina and Rory kissing and confirming that they want to be together. Spencer sulks back into the room with Joss and Cam and they ask him how it went to which he regails what he just saw. They tell him that Trina deserves to know the truth and he responds that she “deserves to be HAPPY. For god sake, I haven’t been able to give that to her. The only thing that I’ve given her is lies and grief.” He goes on to say that he shouldn’t step on what she and Rory have and mess with her head by confessing his feelings for her, especially since he’s about to go to prison. Joss continues to push him to tell her the truth and he gets upset, saying “Why does she need to know that I’ve always believed in her and that I love her? Don’t put that on her, it doesn’t matter.” He makes them both promise not to tell her anything. 

Spencer goes to apologize to his friend Brit that he mistreated long ago to make amends before he goes to prison. He explains the whole Trina situation to her and she questions why he doesn’t want to try to get her back. He tells her “She was never mine to lose. I never had her. I never deserved her.” 

Spencer runs into Trina and Rory at the pool club and she asks for an update from the DA, expressing outrage at how harsh his sentence is for only escaping for a few hours. His only response is “I’m only sorry that I didn’t defend you sooner.” Rory offers to try to help him look into some sort of alternate assignment, and Spencer is very humble about it. He says to her “it’s good to see you happy Trina” before excusing himself. Later, he’s getting emo on the stairs when his dad finds him, and Spencer shows some emotional maturity about the situation. He feels like a failure for not doing enough for Trina sooner, but he thinks not telling her the full truth will preserve her happiness. He’s finally becoming a soft boi. 

Spencer overhears Ava calling out Nikolas for having sex with Esme, much to his horror. He literally breaks down in tears, and he has a very emotional confrontation with Nikolas. They go through the greatest hits of all their betrayals and Nicholas acts his ass off. Spencer gets schwasted and starts confronting every family member he comes across. 

Ava is hospitalized and unconscious I think due to an attempted murder by a mysterious figure. When Trina finds out, she’s upset ofc and makes her way to the hospital to show support. Coming off his own drunken stupor, Spencer finds out about Ava and is immediately worried about Trina being upset and dashes off to the hospital to make sure SHE is ok. “I’m sorry that Ava got hurt, mostly because it hurts you.” “I figured you’d be here.” “You’re here for me?” “Always.” 

Spencer vaguely opens up to Trina about his dad’s betrayal, and she CARESSES HIS ARM and tells him they can talk about it if he wants to. He grasps her hand for just a moment before forcing himself to pull away. 

When he gets home from the hospital, Spencer takes a nap and has a nightmare where Esme antagonizes him about sleeping with his father and framing Trina. Nightmare Esme also antagonizes him about how Trina will never choose him, which greatly upsets Spencer/sends him spiraling. 

The night before he goes to prison, Spencer decides to write Trina a letter telling her the truth about how he knew she was innocent, and that he has always believed in her.

Trina’s family throws her a party to celebrate the charges being dropped, and Spencer shows up to deliver his letter to her, but changes his mind. Trina notices that he’s arrived and goes to talk with him alone. He’s so clearly down bad for her, but Trina maintains they can’t be friends after everything that’s happened, but she does appreciate the sacrifice he made for her. She wants to move on from the whole experience, and that means distancing herself from Spencer. She does give him a hug and tells him to take care of himself in prison. As Spencer goes to leave the party, he drops his letter and Trina picks it up before he can snatch it back. She demands an explanation, and they start an argument that ends with a heart to heart where they clear the air a bit, and Spencer apologizes formally for all the damage/pain he caused her. 

Trina goes to visit Ava in the hospital. Ava can see that she has some complicated feelings about Spencer, and shares that Spencer confessed to her that he always believed Trina was innocent, and was only staying with Esme to try to get her to confess. She also tells her that Spencer has “carried a torch” for Trina for a long time, and in his own “boneheaded” way, was trying to protect her by keeping her at arm’s length. He was also afraid that showing her his true feelings would cause Esme to hurt Trina more. While Ava expresses that she by no means wants to advocate for Spencer, it’s clear that he genuinely loves Trina and she can’t deny that. Trina, clearly reeling from this information, remembers that Spencer is set to go to prison that day, and rushes to the police station to see him off, but by the time she gets there, it’s too late. 

Spencer is on the struggle bus in prison bc everyone is bullying him for being a privileged white man. His Uncle Victor comes to visit him and can tell he’s not doing well, and offers to get a message to Trina, which Spencer denies, adamant that letting her move on is what’s right. He has a job at the prison library and one guy attacks him bc apparently Spencer was given HIS job after he worked 12 years to get it. The guy is on the verge of crushing Spencer’s hand when an old guy comes in and gets all spiritual, and intimidates the mean guy with the power of the Lord? Idk turns out this old guy is actually Spencer’s Uncle Cyrus who tries to convince him to seek religion in exchange for his protection

Esme discreetly comes back into town and is creeping around. She confronts Nikolas about all that has gone down, and reveals to him that she is pregnant with his child. He thinks she is the mysterious serial stabber terrorizing port charles, who has coincidentally murdered/attacked people who were involved in Trina’s trial. She swears she’s not the killer, but Nikolas locks her in a storage wing of the family estate to be cautious. 

Joss and Cam go to visit Spencer in prison, and he finds out that Trina was told the truth about him believing her innocence. However, he was hurt to know that she found out the truth and didn’t come to him, but Joss explains that Trina found out the day he was transported to prison. They give him details about what she’s been up to, and though it’s obviously killing him, he expresses that he’s happy that she's living her life. The three friends end up having a heart-to-heart moment about their various life mistakes, and it’s clear that Spencer needed some emotional support.

Rory and Trina go on their first overnight trip together to a comic convention in NYC. Trina likes Rory, but she’s been hesitant to take any big steps with him, and had to convince herself that she wanted to go on this trip. When they arrive at their hotel room, they’re surprised to find that there’s only one bed when Rory booked 2 doubles. While they wait for an extra cot to be delivered, the two start making out. Things start getting a little heavy, and she suddenly hears SPENCER’S voice say “Do you want me as much as I want you?” and looks up to see him hovering over her instead of Rory. He smiles down at her and says “Tell me you feel the same way.” Trina is petrified and pushes him off, only for it to snap back to Rory looking worried that Trina has suddenly gotten so upset. Later that night as they’re falling asleep in their respective beds, Trina’s phone lights up with a call from a NY state correctional facility, and it’s SPENCER trying to call her. Even though she doesn’t pick up, Spencer still smiles as he walks away from the phone. 

Trina and Joss are having girl time, and she admits to Joss what happened during her makeout with Rory. Joss openly tells her that her thinking of Spencer while making out with someone else is a sign that she still has feelings for him. Trina gets defensive, reiterating all of the reasons Spencer isn’t right for her. Then Joss shares that she and Cam went to visit Spencer, and that all he could talk about was Trina and wanted to know how she was. Joss also shares that he was hurt that Trina hadn’t reached out now that she knows the truth. Trina is still adamant that she put her efforts into a relationship with a good guy like Rory. 

The police commissioner stops by to let the girls know that their is sufficient evidence to link the Hook Killer with Trina’s legal case, as they have been going after those involved in the trial, and apparently Josslyn is possibly next on the killer’s hit list. The girls will have to be under close supervision for the foreseeable future to keep them safe, which will include moving back home from college temporarily. 

Some days go by, and Trina finds out from Cam that Esme is back in town, much to her horror. Her and Cam also discuss Spencer’s mysterious letter and its contents. She asks him specifically what he really “confessed” in his letter and Cam tells her she’ll have to ask Spencer herself. 

Spencer gets a visit from his grandmother in prison, and it seems to lift his spirits a bit. He’s confused when he’s called back in to the visiting room, and is STUNNED to see Trina waiting for him. He IMMEDIATELY gets all bashful and starts messing with his hair and smiling like a FOOL. Neither of them say anything for a hot second, they just make googly eyes at each other. They come back to earth and start talking, and Trina says that she hopes that she’s not too late, to which he responds “for what?” looking very concerned. Things are a little bit tense, but Trina shares that she wants to find a way to salvage their friendship. “Are you offering me the chance to fix things between us?” Trina demands that he tell her what he confessed in his letter. In that moment he decides to tell her to her face that he knew she was always innocent. They start arguing about how he lied to save her, and Trina expresses frustration at people not thinking she can take care of herself, and lying to her to “protect her,” to which Spencer retorts, “I have a lot to apologize for Trina, but protecting you? I’m not going to apologize for THAT.” She tells him that she understands why he did what he did, but that she would have felt MORE protected with him by her side. “It hurt that you thought so little of me, when I thought so MUCH of you.” They keep fighting and Trina accuses him of never being clear with her about his feelings and never tried to tell her. He says how this whole conversation would’ve been much easier over the phone, and how he DID try to call her, but she didn’t pick up. Trina tells him that she was at a comic convention, to which Spencer replies, “You? Since when are you interested in X-Men?” She says “I’m not. Rory is.” and Spencer is pissed. Clearly jealous, he presses her further. “Did you and Officer Cabrera have FUN in New York?” When Trina reminds him they’re not talking about her and Rory, Spencer quickly says “we might as well, Cabrera’s a good guy, better than most. I’m glad for you, you deserve a good guy.” He gets out of his chair to leave, telling the guard they’re done, to which Trina yells, “No, we’re NOT.” As they’re made to say goodbyes, Spencer does drop the anger for a moment and tells her to be careful with Esme back in town. Trina starts crying and asks to tell him one last thing, that she’s grateful for what he did for her, and that she knows what he meant by it.” 

At the beginning of December 2022, Nikolas and Uncle Victor go to visit Spencer, who is now rockin a nice new hairdo. Nikolas expresses his sorrow for being a terrible father to Spencer, and begs to have a place in his life when he gets out of prison, to which Spencer responds “I would settle for not having to listen to another one of these disingenuous speeches.” Nikolas leaves, and Uncle Victor and Spencer get into a spat about some grand plan he’d cooked up for the family idk. He brings in Uncle Cyrus for backup. I think Uncle Cyrus is Spencer’s grandmother’s brother? And Uncle Victor at one point was involved in a murder attempt on her and their other brother. Spencer is horrified at this accusation, but doesn’t seem to believe it. He’s clearly a game piece in this duel between these two old men. 

Later, Uncle Cyrus is chatting with Spencer about repentance and redemption, and gives him an early christmas present of two turtle dove figurines, and tells him to give one to Trina as a token of his affection. Spencer grins and remarks that Trina would love these, but he can’t give it to her, because Trina has her life back “the life she deserves” and he can’t get in the way of that. When his uncle presses him he says “All I’ve brought Trina is pain and heartache, so the best gift I can give her is to stay as far away from her as possible.” Uncle Cyrus compels Spencer to take the doves anyway. Uncle Victor returns to let Spencer know he’s arranged for his EARLY release, much to his shock. Before he departs, Uncle Cyrus tells Spencer to let him know if he decides to give half of the gift to the “one who has his heart.” 

While out Christmas shopping with Ava, Trina runs into Rory and he reminds her that it’s their 3-month anniversary. This brings up some weird emotions for Trina, who confesses to Ava how she knows that Rory is a great guy, but can’t stop thinking about Spencer. 

Spencer is taken home and reveals to his father that he’s on a conditional release where he must be under supervision. Uncle Victor’s plan was to keep watch over him at the family estate, but Nikolas, who is still hiding Esme in the storage wing, tells them they can’t stay there, prompting yet another screaming match between father and son. Spencer and Victor storm out to go to dinner.

Rory and Trina are having a fancy anniversary dinner. During their lovey dovey chat session, Rory asks Trina if she’ll join him for his family’s upcoming Christmas festivities. Trina seems apprehensive about meeting Rory’s parents, and he tries to assure her it’ll be good and not too serious. She ultimately decides that she’ll go with him, much to Rory’s delight. Over dessert, Rory admits to Trina that he is in love with her, and at first she “doesn’t hear him,” making him repeat himself. She looks at him in shock, just as SPENCER walks in and looks at them in distress. Trina doesn’t know what to say to Rory’s love confession, and Rory goes into more detail about his feelings for her. Spencer overhears this and says to his uncle, “I think I’ve lost my appetite.” Rory presents Trina with a present to represent his love for her (I think a perfume???) and just as Trina looks up to thank Rory, Spencer is standing right behind him, with a smirk on his face. Trina is stunned to see Spencer, and he explains about his early release from prison, coming over to her side of the table. Ho owns up to the fact that his family connections made it possible. Spencer lets them get back to their dinner, but not before pulling out the gift box with the doves in it and contemplating it for a second. Uncle Victor makes Spencer sit down at their own table, but he cannot stop staring over at Trina, clearly distraught that he overheard Rory tell her he loves her. Rory gets a work call and has to excuse himself, to which Uncle Victor reminds Spencer that opportunities must be seized. Spencer gets up and sits down in Rory’s place and asks Trina “can we start over?” Trina, frustrated, tells him she doesn’t know if that’s possible, which Spencer admits is fair. He says that he knows her and Rory are in the middle of something special, and if he’d known she was going to be here with her boyfriend he would’ve have had his uncle take him elsewhere “especially after I heard what Rory said to you. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, he practically announced it to the entire restaurant. Not that I blame him, if I was in his place, I’d want to tell everyone too.” Trina weirdly tells him it’s not what he thinks it is (bby girl then WHAT is it??) to which Spencer responds, “When a guy takes you out to one of the best restaurants in town, and he tells you that he loves you, what else could that mean?” Rory walks back in as Trina is rattling off all of his positive attributes to Spencer, clearly a bit defensive. Spencer gets up to rejoin his uncle, telling Trina is was great to see her. 

Spencer gets home and is in a TIZZY, having flashbacks of his convo with Trina and trying to get himself drunk to forget. Also his hair is super floppy. His dad finds him raiding the liquor cabinet and tries to have a conversation, but Spencer is being his typical contrary self. He does end up opening up to his dad a bit about what happened, telling him that Trina doesn’t want to be friends and “Deputy Do-Gooder” told her he loved her. “You should have seen her, so content and at peace, adored by someone who is worthy of her.” Spencer starts recounting all the ways he’s hurt Trina, including that “my ex-girlfriend DRUGGED her and then FRAMED her for filming that video.” (he gets real upset at that one) He says he understands why Trina rejected him, “because she’s finally found someone with the courage to confess that he loves her.” Nikolas tries to suggest that it’s not too late but Spencer doesn’t believe it, thinking Trina must love Rory back. His father implores him to hold out hope.

Trina is also home from her date and reeling from Spencer’s words. Ava comes over and she asks her to stop her from “making a big mistake.” She expresses to Ava that what her heart wants could lead to more heartache, and Ava is empathetic. She tells her to follow her heart, and she’ll support her no matter what. After Ava leaves, Trina pulls out her phone and texts Spencer, “welcome home.” Spencer receives the text, smiles, and immediately puts down his drink telling his dad, “I won’t need that drink anymore.” His dad asks if there’s good news to which Spencer replies, “hold on to hope.” 

Trina and Joss are hanging out and discussing her date with Rory, and Trina ultimately confesses that his “I love you” scared her and made her realize that while she likes him a lot, she’s not in love with him, at least not yet. Joss suggests that it’s not time holding her back, but her feelings for Spencer. Trina rejects that notion, but admits that everytime she looks at Spencer, she gets this feeling she can’t describe, and a part of her “wakes up.” Trina says that while she’s drawn to Spencer, she wishes she wasn’t, and she doesn’t have that same pull with Rory that she wished she did. She starts to question if Rory’s general goodness is enough for her, and is it fair to string him along if she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. She tells Joss “I don’t want to date Rory just because I can’t have Spencer, I don’t even WANT Spencer.” To which Joss responds, “but you do.” Trina then admits, “yes I do.” Trina ultimately decides that she has to be honest with Rory about how she’s feeling and goes to the police station looking for him. 

Rory is out investigating a lead on the Hook Killer, and gets HOOKED BY THE HOOKER. Another guy investigating finds him bleeding out. Back up arrives and they take him to General Hospital to be treated. 

Spencer went to visit Cam at work and they discuss the details of his early release from prison and his plans for the future. Spencer has it in his head that he should go back to Europe because “nothing is keeping him” in Port Charles. He gets into an altercation with this guy Dex who’s one of his uncle’s henchmen upon learning that he’d put Joss in danger.  As he’s leaving, he runs into Trina, who’s been out looking for Rory. She can tell that he’s upset/frustrated and tries to comfort him, telling him that at least his heart was in the right place this time. He tells her he’s thinking about leaving Port Charles for good, because he feels like everyone hates him here and it no longer qualifies as home. Trina yells at him that there are people here that DO care about him. Spencer has convinced himself that he is nothing but a disappointment, which Trina finds sad and untrue. It seems that Trina is about to confess her feelings to him, when Curtis shows up telling them there’s been another attack and that it was Rory. 

They all rush to GH to see if Rory’s ok, but he’s lost a lot of blood and is not doing too hot. They roll him out of surgery and Trina cries and runs over to him, distraught and apologetic. Rory removes his oxygen mask to tell her that it was too soon to tell her how he felt, but he’s not sorry that she knows. Rory then immediately flatlines. They rush him back into surgery, and Trina is hysterical, and Joss and Cam’s attempts to comfort her are failing. Dr. Robinson comes out and shares that Rory didn’t make it, and Trina is devastated. Everytime they pan to Spencer he looks like he can’t stand not being able to comfort her. Trina tells her mom she wants to be alone and goes to the hospital chapel to sob. 

Back out in the lobby Spencer confesses to Cam that he feels like an asshole for being so envious of Rory a few days ago, to which Cam tells him, “it’s not your fault that you love her too.” Some other convos happen throughout the night, but ultimately Spencer tells Cam he’s going to stay to support Trina, and he’s not going anywhere until Esme is found. 

A week or so later, Spencer comes home and his dad asks him how’s feeling, and he expresses that he feels totally useless and helpless because he wants to support Trina but knows his presence would just cause more pain right now. Nikolas confesses that he’s serving Ava divorce papers and that he slept with someone else, Cameron’s mother, Elizabeth. Spencer is disgusted with his father for taking advantage of Elizabeth’s many personal struggles. Nikolas admits that they are full on seeing each other, and Spencer tells him he didn’t think it was possible to think LESS of his father, but here we are. Spencer continues to go in on his dad, shaming him for being “A man who would use a woman’s emotional problems to try to move in on her.” He tells his dad that he has proved time and time again that they’re family bond is unsalvageable. He vows to get as far away from his father as possible as soon as his sentence is fully up. He tells Nikolas that the one good thing about this is that it’s made him determined to be a better man than him. 

Trina’s family tries to lift her spirits with Christmas festivities. Her and Joss have a heart to heart by the fireplace and Trina expresses her guilt over how responsible she feels for Rory’s death. Josslyn is very supportive but makes sure she knows that she is not to blame, and that it’s ok to live her life. While making ornaments with her mom, Trina makes one in Rory’s memory and seems ready to look forward while honoring what she lost. 

Spencer is invited to a christmas eve get together with some extended family, and he asks who I think is an aunt how he can distance himself from the Cassadine drama/toxicity. She gives him some great advice about finding his own way in the world, and seeing a healthy family dynamic seems to move him. He graciously departs, telling them he has someone he needs to go see. Trina is shown going towards her door and finds Spencer, who tells her merry christmas and smiles. 

Spencer goes full love actually vibes on Trina’s doorstep. She thought he was leaving town but he tells her, “I was going to because I thought there was nothing here for me anymore, and I was wrong. But if you want me to go, just say the words and I’ll leave you alone.” Trina doesn’t say anything for a beat, and so Spencer starts to back off when Trina simply says, “shoes off,” inviting him in. For reference, Trina very much has shoes on in her own house.

She opens up to him about how her family tried and failed to lift her spirits, and he listens very well. She shares that her actual christmas wish is for the last few days to just be a bad dream, and Spencer expands that to the last few years on his end, saying he’d change everything. Trina asks, “everything?” to which he responds, “everything except coming back to Port Charles, because then I never would have met you.” 

They start discussing the whole serial killer situation, and Spencer fully believes it’s Esme. He wants to offer himself up as bait to lore Esme out of hiding and Trina is NOT ok with that. She can’t deny that there’s potential to his idea, but she thinks it’s missing one thing, herself. Trina suggests that the two of them together would enrage Esme the most, so they should seem as if they’ve turned to each other following Rory’s death. Spencer says “absolutely not” because it would put Trina in danger, and she calls him out on that double standard of risk. Trina insists that they would be “stronger together” and asks if he’s in or not, and they shake on it. As he goes to leave, snow is falling, and Trina brushes snow from Spencer’s nose.

The day after Christmas, Spencer and Trina put their FAKE DATING scheme into motion, letting themselves be photographed by the press with his grandmother. Everyone notices that they’re suddenly cozy, and when his grandmother asks him what’s going on, Spencer tells her, “When you said that I’m a better person than I think, I vowed to live up to those words. I wanna be worthy of your faith in me.” She reminds him to be the good man she knows he is and he says, “that’s exactly what I’m doing.” Spencer and Trina make conspiratorial eyes at each other. Spencer’s grandmother also reminds him how he’s hurt Trina in the past to which he responds, “I haven’t forgotten about what I’ve done in the past. But I swear to you that I will never hurt Trina again, and neither will anyone else.” 

Trina and Ava have a meeting at Kelly’s, and Spencer walks in. Spencer pulls Ava aside and makes an honest, earnest apology to her, letting her know his reasons for acting the way he did. He also assures her that just wants to “help Trina get through this.” Ava departs, and Spencer and Trina discuss their grand plans for this fake dating scheme. They’re going to attend a friend’s new years eve party to be seen publicly together. The flirtmance is back in action for the first time in many moons.

That night at the party (which is being held on a boat) Spencer is waiting for Trina to arrive, and tells her she looks beautiful when she does. Their primary plan is to make Esme jealous enough to come out hiding, and when Trina reminds him of this he says “one look at you and mission accomplished.” and they take a selfie together. They run into Spencer’s Uncle Sonny and they express condolences to Trina for Rory’s death. Spencer openly praises Rory’s character, saying that he was a good support system for Trina when she needed it. She thanks him for those kind words and for helping her bring his killer to justice, to which he says “I’d do anything for you, you know that.” He does acknowledge that because he brought Esme to Port Charles in the first place, he feels a responsibility to get rid of her once and for all. Trina has a moment of revelation, and starts to wonder if Esme is really the one behind the killings. Seeing as it’s cold outside on the deck, Spencer puts his coat around Trina’s shoulders and arranges her hair out from underneath it very tenderly, and softly whispers “there ya go.”. She tells him he doesn’t have to do that since noone is watching and he says “can’t I be a good friend while also being a gentleman?” Trina tells Spencer that she didn’t mean when she told him they couldn’t be friends at her party, explaining that she was just upset and hurt at the time. Spencer says he’s glad to hear that they can still have a chance to be friends. 

They start to go inside and Trina wants to develop a story for why they’re together, and they go back and forth suggesting ideas. Spencer suggests that the buzz can be that they “stole some time alone together” to which Trina says people will assume she got emotional and needed some air to which Spencer says “yeah and I had to come out and check on you,” and Trina “leaned on you for comfort.” Spencer starts playing with her coat buttons and says “something about heightened emotions and twinkling lights…” “and waves and stars and the warmth of your arms as you held me…” “brought back all of those old feelings…the ones we never acted on.” 

They snap out of writing their own fanfiction to finally go in to the party, and Spencer takes her hand to lead her inside, but someone is watching them. This picks up in the following episode and the scene cut is different, with Trina saying they should go inside and Spencer asking for “just a little longer, we want people to miss us” while grasping her hand. Trina reminds him that they’re playing a dangerous game, and Spencer caresses her hand and says, “it’s not all a game.” She convinces him to go back into the party, but the Hook killer is right behind them on the deck. Right as they’re about to attack, Zenon finds them and calls to them, asking what they’re doing outside. They give their nonchalant reasons while Spencer puts one hand on Trina’s back and the other on her arm, “casually” keeping her close to him. 

Inside the party, Spencer introduces Trina to his friend Brit (who the party is for) and the exchange is very sweet and wholesome. Spencer then twirls Trina on to the dance floor like a goob. Spencer is a terrible dancer but it’s actually adorable. As the clock strikes midnight on new years, Spencer seems like he’s going in for a kiss but blows a party kazoo in Trina’s face, making her giggle. 

Back at the Cassadine estate, Esme develops a grand plan to escape from the wing Nikolas is keeping her in by setting her small Christmas tree on fire. Her plan works and before Nikolas can stop her, she jumps over the balcony YET AGAIN despite being very pregnant.

[chcrryade]

ERR.. ARE YOU SURE HE WAS HERE BEFORE?

Yes, you idiot! He’s been here since the start! Can’t you remember? ⠀⸻⠀ HAE JIHU ( 하지후 ) was once the eleventh, then later the tenth member of Kpop boy group LOOPiN, housed first under New Wave Music both before & after its split with Blockberry Creative, and then later Rare Rhythm. First debuting with the solo ‘GO BACK’ in the first week of November 2018 as part of the original ‘Boy Of The Week’ project ( that was intended to mirror their once-sister group LOONA ), he finally came together with the rest of the group in August 2019.

AN ETERNAL LIFE IS NOT A PERFECT LIFE.

You wake up. You get ready. You go to work. The same people greet you on the way, the same stores and the same cars and the same buildings all line the same streets you walk down. You do the same things on your same computer in your same cubicle as you did yesterday, as you did a week ago, as you’ve done since this all began. You eat the same thing when you get back home, flip through the same TV channels, and go to bed at the same time that night. You’ve always been here. This is just your place. Stuck. Some go forward, and others back, but you’re just here. And you’ll never be anywhere else. ⠀⸻⠀ a fan’s analysis on JIHU’s place in The Looplore, circa 2021.

( 知夏. KNOWING SUMMER. )⠀⠀Born into a household that was so loud it was a struggle and a half to get a word in edgeways, Jihu has always felt he’s just been.. There. The quiet one in the corner, watching everything as it passes. And really, it was only a matter of time before the walls started closing in too much, before he felt as if he was going to start cracking right down the middle if he didn’t do something soon, if he didn’t do something fast—and that was how he ended up in the auditions room, racing against a clock that wasn't really there. That didn’t change even when he was given his place in the group, always too ready to run at the slightest inkling that he’s about to go back to the one forgotten, the one left behind. He’ll move until there’s no ground left beneath his feet, and even then he’ll claw at the air on the way down.⠀⠀( ILL-CONSIDERED. OVEREAGER. FERVANT. BENEVOLENT. I BELONG here. I can’t tell you how good that feels. )

GIVEN NAME Hae Jihu.⠀OTHER ALIASES Jiha (nickname).⠀BIRTHDATE 17 / 02 / 01.⠀PROFESSION idol, songwriter.⠀GROUP POSITIONS vocalist, sub rapper.⠀ETHNICITY Korean.⠀NATIONALITY South Korean.⠀FACE CLAIM Choi Jiung.

LET THE MUSIC DO THE TALKING.

WAKE UP ╱ LET’S LEAVE is a double-sided single released by the sub-unit ‘LOOPiN HERE&THERE,’ made up of members JIHU and O.Z. Released in early June 2023, both tracks were written as a collaborative effort between them, with the production mostly falling on the latter’s shoulders while JIHU only accompanied in the final mastering of the two tracks. The singles were accompanied by a short MV, more of a collection of colourful scenes than any coherent storyline, and were what JIHU referred to as a ‘passion project,’ although whether he meant for him or for both of them was unclear.

While he’s not officially part of nor particularly affiliated with the produce line, Jihu still dabbles in it—but mostly in his own time. His tendency to leave projects half-finished, always jumping from one thing to the next as soon as the next strike of inspiration hits, isn’t always one that meshes well with his fellow group members. All of these snippets, however long, live on his SoundCloud, underneath the username ‘baejha17.’ Some of these capsules of split-second thought and feeling include ‘holdOn,’ ‘COMI,’ ( with J.J taking up the bulk of the vocals ) and ‘되감기’ ( meaning rewind ). He hasn’t had an official solo debut other than his 2018 release ‘GO BACK’ before the group was properly formed, but the ( occasionally incomplete ) songs had been coming thick and fast throughout most of 2024, only petering out towards the end, and that seemed to have satisfied those wanting a full own-project enough for the time being.

WAIT A MiNUTE.. STOP! RECORD SCRATCH!

APRIL 2025.⠀Posted without warning, without explanation. It got people talking, had them confused—and just as much, theorising. An official solo debut? A campaign announcement? ( Although, when asked for what, those who’d suggested the idea came up short ). Are you even real? The line, for some, felt like a callback to the long-abandoned Looplore, and so many an old analysis on all of the loosely-tied-together content was dug back up again so they could comb over it, desperate to find something within it that they may have missed; something that may give them the answer to this singular ( and unhelpfully blank ) jigsaw piece placed before them.

Back in the same place on the same day doing the same things. It starts to mess with your mind, after a while. What are you doing all of this for, anyway? Why can’t you just—not? Would it really be so bad to walk down the wrong streets, skip work, eat out for the night? Come on, you know you want to. What do you mean, you’re not allowed? Break out. Prove your existence, even if you’re the only one who’ll know about it. They’re going back, or moving forward, and you’re left to watch. This might be your only chance. ⠀⸻⠀ fan-theory on the thought process behind AYER?

So.. What was it? Well. When there’s a glitch on your screen, a crack in the system ( someone’s broken out, someone’s taken the chance ), then I guess you’ll know. But for now, you can only wonder.

insp⠀profile⠀music format⠀love u LOOPiN !!!!!!!!! 💗

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: May 24

2018

like drinking fireworks [david/patrick, T, 978] by The SuperDandy

The morning after the kiss. The first day they met. The day they say I love you.

2019

Ink [david/patrick, G, 1,783] by @play-detectives

Patrick gets a tattoo.

Mini-Button [david/patrick, T, 4,064] by TuppingLiberty

When Patrick's niece Mellie comes for a summer visit and it's obvious that Patrick is so good with her, David has to face down insecurities about his feelings about kids. Set between coming out to the parents and the engagement, because I'm always a fan of people talking about these things BEFORE they get married. Or engaged.

ready or not [david/patrick, T, 2,127] by @wild-aloof-rebel

It's the day of the wedding, and all anyone wants to know is if David is ready or not.

Super Rich Kids [david & alexis, T, 3,656] by @codswalloping

Alexis really wishes she hadn’t come home from Hong Kong so soon.

2020

begin again [david/patrick, G, 834] by @tuatarasa

I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does Is break and burn and end But on a Wednesday in a café I watched it begin again Based on Begin Again by Taylor Swift. David has some moments during his and Patrick's first date at Café Tropical.

Coloring Outside the Lines [david/patrick, E, 21,924 + art] by olivebranchesandredwine

David Rose is hiding something under his black and white sweaters. A story about boundaries, boys, tattoos, and love. 5/23/2020: Now with art!

Going Down [david/patrick, E, 151,504] by @concannonfodder

The Roses never lose their fortune, and David never moves to Schitt's Creek. He's facing down the prospect of spending New Year's Eve alone, when fate traps him in an elevator with a certain Canadian tourist.

only me when i'm with you [david/patrick, G, 720] by @tuatarasa

"His husband finally spoke up from the corner he was in sorting all his button up shirts. Patrick glanced at what was supposedly the keep pile and was shocked to see literally all the shirts David has sorted through minus maybe one. “You know, you don’t have to be here. I can do this on my own, if you want to go back to the apartment.” Patrick laughed and just looked at himself in the mirror that was on the ceiling above the bed, “Can I? Because I’m afraid if I leave you here the only thing in our house will be your clothes.”' Based on lyrics from the Taylor Swift song Only Me When I'm With You.

Snowed Inn [david/patrick, E, 21,008] by @startswithhope

Two strangers. A blizzard. A blackout. What could go wrong? More importantly, what could go right?

Such Sweet Sorrow [david/patrick, G, 10,701] by @agoodpersonrose

David goes away for the week to visit his sister in New York, and Patrick handles it really well, until he doesn't.

SunriseSpreadsheets87 [david/patrick, G, 1,151] by @kiranerys42

Once Patrick starts watching Sunrise Bay, he can't stop.

Until the Sun Comes Down [david & patrick & stevie, T, 2,380] by bigficenergy

When they moved into their dreamy little cottage home, the catch was that they inherited all the fixing up it needed. It was just their luck that the old air conditioner, which the former owners had warned them was on its last leg, would give out right before a heat wave hit.

2021

[Podfic] Sounds of Pleasure [david/patrick, E, podfic] by Amanita_Fierce @roguebebe @schittposting

Patrick visits his favorite audio erotica website and hears a familiar voice [Podfic of "Sounds of Pleasure" written by grapehyasynth]

[Podvid] Dear Apartment Five [david/patrick, T, podvid] by Amanita_Fierce @hullomoon @januarium @kiwiana-writes Little_Black_Bow @petrodobreva @rhetoricalk @schittposting @sunlightsymphony

Notes from the Community Message Board: the residents of Patrick's apartment building have a few thoughts/concerns to share about the newest neighbors. [Podvid of Dear Apartment Five written by blackandwhiteandrose]

a quiet moment [stevie/ruth, G, 462] by @hullomoon

After Ruth comes home from a trip, she struggles with jetlag. Stevie helps.

After Domestic Day-Care [johnny/moira, G, 1,688] by erinhateswords

Post-Episode: S05E05Moira and Johnny reminisce over their children, what happened and what could've been.

Let Me Stay There Awhile [david/patrick, T, 11,309] by @rockinhamburger

“Finally!” David huffs when he finally spots a waiter about to pass behind him. “It’s about time. Can I get another one of these sometime before midnight?” He shakes his empty glass so the ice bangs around pointedly. The man pulls up short, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief, and rapidly approaching irritation. “Not the waiter,” the man says. “Though I can’t say I’m surprised you aren’t getting service with that cheerful attitude.” Or, a pre-SC AU that takes place at a hotel resort in San Clemente; David is rich and miserable, and Patrick has some stuff to work out.

Maybe, Baby: Canon Divergent Twylexis Drabbles of What Could Have Been [alexis/twyla, E, 2,405] by TwylasCafeTropical

24 drabbles to spotlight Twylexis canon divergences. Drabbles are written by an assortment of Twylexis authors! These drabbles are all stand-alone, and are not intended to be continuations of each other. We'll add tags and adjust the rating as needed, and we'll also link each drabble's author and specific rating at the top of each chapter. Hope you enjoy them!

so bitter and so sweet [david/patrick, E, 2,201] by @5ambreakdown

“You,” David points, poking his husband’s chest. “You’re super sexy. The sexiest.” Patrick stumbles forward into David’s arms, wrapping his arms around David’s middle and mouthing at his neck. “No, you. You’re the super sexiest. Super sex. Sex. David! David I wanna sex you. Wanna have hot sex with you.” David gasps. Sex with Patrick is excellent, the best. He always wants to have sex with Patrick, but they have “lives” and “responsibilities” and a “business” and a “mortgage,” so they can only have sex when they’re at home. Sometimes at the store, though; David is very convincing. “Yessss. Sex. Yep. Now. Wanna have sex now, Patrick.” ---- or, patrick has some plans for david, sexy and exciting plans, that get, well, derailed.

stormy weather [ted/alexis, G, 586 + podfic] by @hullomoon @rhetoricalk @sunlightsymphony

During a storm, Alexis confesses a secret to Ted

Sweaters in the Dead of Summer [rachel/heather, T, 2,195] by @kindofspecificstore

Rachel desperately wants to bury herself in the covers and never come out again. The lights were off last night- Heather didn’t have to see the patchwork that makes up her back and shoulders, the speckling of white and pink dots in varying stages of healing scars. She doesn’t like it. She’s not proud of it. But Rachel doesn’t really know how to fix it either. It’s not embarrassing, per se, just awkward to explain. You know that feeling when you want to pop a zit? Like that, but all the time. Except it’s all you think about. And you can’t control it.

The Future Is This Moment [david/jake, E, 1,774] by @floosilver8

The continuing sexploits of Schitt's Creek.You don't need to read the others in the series to follow this one.Mostly canon compliant, David's POV for just before the cold open of S03E01 Opening Night (Title from Tina Turner's "Paradise is Here")

2022

Gold Rush [david/patrick, M, 4,569] by @smoulderandbraids

Patrick is voluntold that he'll be participating in the Schitt’s Creek Nondenominational Winter Holiday Bachelor Auction. David is not impressed.

under the covers [david/patrick, T, 586] by @aoubooming

David wakes up before Patrick the morning after their night at Stevie's.

2023

[Podfic] Love, David [david/patrick, T, podfic] by @sweatersinthesummer

Take a deep breath, and start at the beginning. Tell them how we first met. Tell them that this — that this has to be one of the happiest days of my life. “I’m David Rose, for those that don’t know. I’m Patrick’s best man and um, best friend? Which you may not have guessed due to the fact I nearly missed the ceremony. Um, anyway… this, this is one of the happiest days of my life.”

Nothing But a Little Morning Wood [johnny/moira, E, 574] by anonymous

Moira catches Johnny at a good time in the early hours of the morning…

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken? [david/sebastien, M, 200] by @mammameesh

David finds Sebastian in bed with another woman. In lieu of an apology, Sebastian gives David drugs to dull the pain. Sebastian is an asshole. David does something about it.

2024

[podfic] a prelude to a kiss [alexis/twyla, G, podfic] by @schitthappens

Alexis considers all the previous kisses leading up to this very important one with Twyla Podfic of a prelude to a kiss by HungryHungryHippo.

[Podfic] and i've known you for a long time [stevie/twyla, G, podfic] by @b13-maybethistime

While moving in together, Twyla discovers something from their childhood Podfic of and i've known you for a long time by hullomoon.

baby dive in, cause the water feels fine [alexis/twyla, E, 1,158 + podfic] by @hullomoon @n0connections horchatapods stardust_andstories

Twyla can't help staring at Alexis's long legs and her itty bitty skirts

Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat [david/patrick, M, 2,759] by @characterassassination-at-9am

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 2018: 1 fic/978 words 2019; 4 fics/11,630 words 2020: 8 fanworks (7 fics, 1 fic/art combo)/210,222 words 2021: 10 fanworks (7 fics, 1 podfic, 1 podvid, 1 fic/podfic combo)/22,687 words 2022: 2 fics/5,155 words 2023: 3 fanworks (2 fics, 1 podfic)/789 words 2024: 4 fanworks (1 fic, 2 podfics, 1 fic/podfic combo)/3,947 words Total: 32 fanworks (24 fics, 4 podfics, 1 podvid, 3 combos)/255,408 words