#such is the life of college basement dwellers

[incorrect-league-of-villains]

Just like to let you know that 'one of the guys that's been in the basement with me for the past four hours' is an incredibly ominous thing to read in the tags without context. Thank you, brave basement dweller 😔

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

[commoninfected]

Adrian Dawson

The Gist: Adrian is currently trying and failing at not becoming his father, like some sort of grotesque, slow-motion bodyhorror sequence, a la The Fly (1986) He's the jock in every bad D-Com, but instead of making people afraid, his stagnant, cheesy meatheaded personality is a weird, sad façade that's obvious to everyone including him.

He is mean, avoidant, and sycophantic.

About

Name: Adrian Stanford Dawson

Nickname/s: Adrie (Eddie)

Gender: Cis Male

Pronouns: He/him

Orientation: Biromantic Bisexual

Birthday: September 8th

When not playing football or panicking about potentially not being able to play football, Adrian is bullying Hadley, or attempting to bully Eddie or Violet.

Adrian Dawson is, first and foremost, Eddie's rival. And he takes great pride in this! Most people find this tragic, as it seems to imply Adrian, at age twenty one, has nothing else going on in his life worth being proud of.

He'd like them to know that they are dead wrong. Tormenting dweebs, nerds, and sentimental basement-dwellers like Eddie and the Rocktopus crew is his secondary love, falling just behind football. Football has always been his passion, and one of the few interests he and his father could share. He has a lot of fond (or, maybe bittersweet) memories of watching games with his dad over TV dinners. He played throughout middle and high school, currently plays on his college team, and has dreams of going pro. He also has to throw himself into it, as his sports scholarship is the only thing getting him through college and paying for his dorm room, as his grades are just abysmal. The only problem is that he has inherited the same genetic condition that has robbed his father of his sight, and Adrian is slowly but surely going blind.

This has all been happening very fast, starting not long after he was accepted into college. At this point, he has lost vision entirely in one eye, has minimal vision in the other, and has absolutely no depth perception. To make matters worse, he CANNOT let anyone know, as if he gets kicked off the football team and loses his scholarship, he will be forced to drop out, leave the dorms, and move back home. Though native to the city he is going to school in, the idea of returning to his father's house, and being stuck there, his progressive loss of vision slowly stripping him of his independence... terrifies him more than anything.

Adrian is frantically bluffing his way through physicals to stay on the team (and in school), and so the only remotely not stressful activity for him to partake in is antagonizing Eddie and co.

But deep down, he knows it. He's a fucking loser, just like his dad always said.

Appearance

Height: 6"0

Build: Fairly muscular, but slowly losing it due to lack of exercise

Eye Color: Cognac brown

Hair Color: Cedar brown, but going prematurely grey at the temples

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Caucasian

His bourbon colored eyes look normal, barring their striking but ordinary color, I stylize the left one to be a pin prick. His temples are prematurely greying due to the stress he's recently found himself in. He has freckles, and is broad shouldered and muscular.

Relationships

Eddie Creek - Rival - She'd help him if he ever needed it, but he's too prideful to apologize or ask, despite her forging abilities and willingness to lie, cheat, and commit misdemeanors for her friends being something that would absolutely help him get out of the mess he's found himself in. He'd also have to apologize to and stop picking on Hadley to earn her help, and he is NOT about to lose access to his personal stress toy.

Hadley Puggs - Victim - They can't stand each other, for obvious reasons, but Hadley is easy going enough to accept an apology from Adrian if he ever offered in. In exchange, of course, for some payback. Another thing Adrian wouldn't be able to humble himself for. If Adrian even looks at Hadley funny around Eddie, she will pick him up and throw him, as Hadley is her little pogchamp. This is great news for Hadley, but makes Adrian frothing mad at both of them.

Violet Nightley - Rival - Violet views Adrian as a sad little worm, which he is. And Adrian hates that she's right. That disgusting way of being seen makes him especially vicious towards her, but she enjoys making everything worse by playing up her deafness around him, leaving him like a rabid dog as he tries and fails to get under her skin.

Horace Mann - Frenemy - God Adrian is so jealous of Horace. Horace is ugly, weird, and uncharismatic. And yet, so much more popular and well-liked than he is. Whadda fucgke......

Ivy Kohen - Cousin - Because he picked on her growing up, the two are by no means close even if she is polite to him when approached. Adrian feels terrible about this, but lacks the ability to articulate it. Ivy, like Adrian, is blind. She'd offer him resources, but he denies having any vision issues vehemently, despite them running in his family.

[chainsawgirlfriend]

Lets Talk About... Adrian Dawson!

The Gist: Adrian is currently trying and failing at not becoming his father, like some sort of grotesque, slow-motion bodyhorror sequence, a la The Fly (1986) He's the jock in every bad D-Com, but instead of being afraid of him, his stagnant, cheesy meatheaded personality is a weird, sad façade that's obvious to everyone including him.

He is mean, avoidant, and sycophantic.

About

Name: Adrian Stanford Dawson

Nickname/s: Adrie (Eddie)

Gender: Cis Male

Pronouns: He/him

Orientation: Biromantic Bisexual

Birthday: September 8th

When not playing football or panicking about potentially not being able to play football, Adrian is bullying Hadley, or attempting to bully Eddie or Violet.

Adrian Dawson is, first and foremost, Eddie's rival. And he takes great pride in this! Most people find this tragic, as it seems to imply Adrian, at age twenty one, has nothing else going on in his life worth being proud of.

He'd like them to know that they are dead wrong. Tormenting dweebs, nerds, and sentimental basement-dwellers like Eddie and the Rocktopus crew is his secondary love, falling just behind football. Football has always been his passion, and one of the few interests he and his father could share. He has a lot of fond (or, maybe bittersweet) memories of watching games with his dad over TV dinners. He played throughout middle and high school, currently plays on his college team, and has dreams of going pro. He also has to throw himself into it, as his sports scholarship is the only thing getting him through college and paying for his dorm room, as his grades are just abysmal. The only problem is that he has inherited the same genetic condition that has robbed his father of his sight, and Adrian is slowly but surely going blind.

This has all been happening very fast, starting not long after he was accepted into college. At this point, he has lost vision entirely in one eye, has minimal vision in the other, and has absolutely no depth perception. To make matters worse, he CANNOT let anyone know, as if he gets kicked off the football team and loses his scholarship, he will be forced to drop out, leave the dorms, and move back home. Though native to the city he is going to school in, the idea of returning to his father's house, and being stuck there, his progressive loss of vision slowly stripping him of his independence... terrifies him more than anything.

Adrian is frantically bluffing his way through physicals to stay on the team (and in school), and so the only remotely not stressful activity for him to partake in is antagonizing Eddie and co.

But deep down, he knows it. He's a fucking loser, just like his dad always said.

Appearance

Height: 6"0

Build: Fairly muscular, but slowly losing it due to lack of exercise

Eye Color: Cognac brown

Hair Color: Cedar brown, but going prematurely grey at the temples

Species: Human

Ethnicity: Caucasian

His bourbon colored eyes look normal, barring their striking but ordinary color, I stylize the left one to be a pin prick. His temples are prematurely greying due to the stress he's recently found himself in. He has freckles, and is broad shouldered and muscular.

Relationships

Eddie Creek - Rival - She'd help him if he ever needed it, but he's too prideful to apologize or ask, despite her forging abilities and willingness to lie, cheat, and commit misdemeanors for her friends being something that would absolutely help him get out of the mess he's found himself in. He'd also have to apologize to and stop picking on Hadley to earn her help, and he is NOT about to lose access to his personal stress toy.

Hadley Puggs - Victim - They can't stand each other, for obvious reasons, but Hadley is easy going enough to accept an apology from Adrian if he ever offered in. In exchange, of course, for some payback. Another thing Adrian wouldn't be able to humble himself for. If Adrian even looks at Hadley funny around Eddie, she will pick him up and throw him, as Hadley is her little pogchamp. This is great news for Hadley, but makes Adrian frothing mad at both of them.

Violet Nightley - Rival - Violet views Adrian as a sad little worm, which he is. And Adrian hates that she's right. That disgusting way of being seen makes him especially vicious towards her, but she enjoys making everything worse by playing up her deafness around him, leaving him like a rabid dog as he tries and fails to get under her skin.

Horace Mann - Frenemy - God Adrian is so jealous of Horace. Horace is ugly, weird, and uncharismatic. And yet, so much more popular and well-liked than he is. Whadda fucgke......

Ivy Kohen - Cousin - Because he picked on her growing up, the two are by no means close even if she is polite to him when approached. Adrian feels terrible about this, but lacks the ability to articulate it. Ivy, like Adrian, is blind. She'd offer him resources, but he denies having any vision issues vehemently, despite them running in his family.

[bakugou-klancey-lance]

you’re almost as annoying as the fat anorexic 😂😂😂

maybe you‘re one of them

lmao you tweaker.

I ran varsity track and cross country in high school. I ran on my college team while majoring in history with a psychology minor. I'm pursuing a master's degree.

what have you ever done besides fail in life 🍺

I diagnose you with: attention starved basement dweller

[charlotte-headcanons]

Brownie just screams in personality as lazy underachieving slacker who mooches off his parents even though he and the rest of their siblings still live with their mother he just comes across as just being the one who would be a basement dweller and not try to find a job, do college, or even do housework.

Yesss we didn't talk about Brownie here yet, let's go! 💕 What we know about canon Brownie is that he's lazy, kind of rude, and easily bored. Here's some headcanons we thought of to develop him into a more well-rounded character - not all that different from yours, actually!

Brownie is a lazy kind of guy, yes. He's not completely idle all the time, and he does have some interests, but work is the furthest away from those interests it could possibly be. Effectively, he slacks off whenever he can, which pisses a lot of siblings off. Fortunately for him, he's good at slipping under the radar: Mama doesn't even remember he exists all that often, and he knows exactly when he's near to crossing a line that'd make his siblings snap - once that line is nearing, he'll finally get up and get to work to avoid any retribution.

His house is definitely a mess and he's never intent on cleaning it. Brownie is recently married, but only very begrudgingly, with a spouse who was just scared of Big Mom enacting revenge for their denial; thus neither party of the matrimony likes to spend time together too much. For Brownie, though, none of this matters; rather than stay at home, he wastes his time going out to parties at night and sleeping throughout the day when he's tired and hangover. At some ppint, his siblings thought he'll grow out of it, but he's already 24 now and, well... he never really did.

Besides partying and sleeping, Brownie's main and only hobby is music. At the clubs he frequents, he often DJs and his favorite genre is disco! Despite going out often, he's not very popular; most people are repelled by his arrogance and bluntness, even if he still has a consistent group of party buddies.

It's a pity that Brownie is so lazy because as a matter of fact, he does have good fighting potential. He's quite a smart guy and can be very precise: the bat he's holding is something he uses to send explosives flying wherever he wants to. Of course, this ranged style of fighting requires him to aim well and be very accurate in how he loads and hits the bombs, so that they don't explode in his face. Many siblings, especially Mont D'Or, are thus very bitter about how he wastes his life, although how to motivate Brownie is a riddle that no one in the Charlotte family cracked just yet.

Thank you for the ask! 💕✨

[drunk-for-aruani]

D-do you have fanfic recomendations?? I need it for........ reasons

ARMIN/ANNIE FANFICS

(As we’d like to think) by magicites

Summary: Four times Armin attempts to get closer to Annie, and the one time that it works perfectly.

In Another Life, We’d be Good for Each Other by RosaTonta

Summary: For so long, he lived under the notion that she had been a good person. He had been wrong. She was a good person for someone else. So good that she would imprison herself to avoid compromising them.Was this envy that made his fingers grip the pen a little harder?

XX by theowlinsomniac

Summary: [1920’s AU] Armin Arlert, a student at a local NYC college studying to be an author, encounters a big city girl by the name of Annie Leonhardt that will change his life forever. Although her wealth may be a mystery to him, her affiliations with an infamous gang become increasingly apparent, and the pair must choose between the love they’ve built and the lives they once had.

The Fourth, The Fifth by macrauchenia

Summary: He snaps open the cylinder again and fishes a small, lead bullet from his pocket. “One bullet?” Annie ventures.“One bullet,” Armin confirms, dropping the tiny oblong ball of metal into the first chamber.“In a perfect game,” he begins slowly, “there would be eight shots. Four for me and four for you.” The young man hesitates for a moment before continuing. “Although, I have a feeling we may not get to all eight. We’ll go in turns,” he says, pressing the gun into Annie’s hands.

[One of the Hallelujah Trilogy] [Dark!AruAni]

Ice Queen by Aespren

Summary: Usually, on Halloween, Annie Leonhart locks herself in the basement with a good book and a pair of headphones so that she can avoid the noise of any trick-or-treaters that come to the door. But after Armin offers to come over and help with the shelling out, she may just have to change her tradition.

I Won’t Let You Fall by angeltrumpets

Summary: Annie is quite skilled at iceskating, but Armin hasn’t skated before.

Save the Last Dance by tentsubasa

Summary: When Armin Arlert gets paired with the harsh and technically perfect Annie Leonhart to put on the dance show of a lifetime, he knows he’s in way over his head. But with his career on the line, he’s determined to make things work one way or another. Who knows? Maybe it won’t be so bad…provided she doesn’t kill him. Mentions of BeruYumi and EreMika.

Folie a Deux by AryanCoconut

Summary: Armin Arlert is a regular freshman at a college in New York. Annie Leonhart is the terrifying woman he falls madly in love with. They’re both fucked up in their own way, but they each might be just the thing the other needs.

Ada Lovelace by orphan_account

Summary: He finds her behind a dumpster. [Established Aruani college AU where Armin finds a cat]

The Marriage of True Minds by Jelly

Summary: Today is the beginning of the rest of her life. A life planned for her by her father and mother, with no room for error or speculation. She will go to Diagon Alley in the morning to buy her wand, her books, and her robes; she will go to Hogwarts and be sorted into Slytherin like the rest of her family; she will do magnificently in all her classes; and she will gain a seat in Ministry of Magic. She will marry a Braun or a Hoover to keep her bloodline pure, and her children will rinse and repeat.“You’re lucky to be a Leonhardt,” they tell her. “You are lucky you were born to a family with such prestige.”Lucky, they say. Annie doesn’t quite think it’s the same word she would use.

[Hogwarts AU for Aruani Week 2016.]

Crossdresser by macrauchenia

Summary: “You’re wearing…a skirt?” Annie ventured again. She had always thought herself a fairly shock-proof soldier, only shaken by the strangest or most grotesque of things. However, the periodical oddity still managed to catch her off guard. Such as the sight of Armin Arlert in a skirt. Mikasa’s skirt, no less. [AruAni fluff]

Paranoid by Flailingkittylover

Summary: She’s been told hell lives across the sea, been told how something so simple as the inhabitant’s breathing is a sinful crime. Annie wonders if the island dwellers will soon think the same of them.

Wir Werden Uns Wiedersehen by lionhart

Summary: Childhood sweethearts Armin Arlert & Annie Leonhart are separated after Armin’s family are forced to flee from Nazi Germany to England. Before Armin departs, both swear that they will one day be reunited. By 1944, Armin is left with nothing but his best friend, Eren, and the two make a trip across war-torn Europe to find Annie. WWII AU setting. AruAni, EreMika, YumiKuri.

Memories of Her by SerphenySlayer

Summary: After Armin acquires Bertolt’s memories, thoughts of Annie are constantly felt to the point where he begins to feel her differently than before.

All you need is… dance? by shinyarmin

Summary: Annie dreams of becoming a professional ballerina as far back as she can remember. A change of events forces her to drop off her Professional Dancing School, and attending a local dancing academy instead. Not everything happened as she had thought.

College/Ballet AU.

Paint Me an Ocean by 3DMG Shenanigans (Lightningpelt)

Summary: Armin Arlert’s world is turned upside-down when he meets a deterministic young beauty: Annie Leonheart, a girl engaged- and resolved -to be married to a dear childhood friend that she claims to have no romantic feelings for. Armin, a firm believer in the existence of free-will, is all too ready to argue that she should follow her heart instead. He may, however, be a bit biased, considering her heart would most certainly lead her straight into his waiting arms.

AruAni with a side of ReiBert; Modern AU inspired by “The Painter” (Pierce the Veil)

Trust by mimi-writes2000

Summary: A one shot about Armin and Annie finally having a moment after they met in chapter 126

Play with me by Takiiraa

Summary: As an FBI agent, Armin Arlert's mission is to arrest a serial killer named Annie Leonhart. But this talented policeman and talented psychopath will start to get obsessed with each other.

feel free to add your fav fics to this list ^^

[irarelypostanything]

“Parasite” - is upward mobility a lie?

There’s this podcast I really love called “How I Built This,” which is about entrepreneurs who attained fame and wealth.  Nothing about it is fiction, so to speak, but the interviewer does have a way of framing the interviews more like dramatic narratives, with plot and constant conflict and climax, and less like traditional interviews.  He tends to focus a lot on stories that came from places of hardship, and it creates hope.  Some of these people were born wealthy...most of them weren’t.  They’re ex-criminals.  Children of immigrants.  Kids with parents unable to buy them gym clothes, or broke college students running websites out of dorm rooms, or most commonly 20-somethings whom no one takes seriously because they have no sort of experience at all.  But they do it.  They succeed, they find wealth, they find fame.

Roll credits.

And I still love the podcast, but it’s gotten me thinking about something,  NerdWriter discusses the opening shots of Parasite, and how they focus really well on this one image: A basement that has a single window.  That window - and it’s a real construct in Korea for places made during the Cold War and converted into homes - provides only a half hour or so of sunlight on any given day.  That’s enough.

It’s enough to make working class families believe that they can climb their way out of poverty, and ruthlessly step over one another in the pursuit of that desire.

*Spoilers*

Why is the Kim family in Parasite so unlikable?  It’s because they don’t have compassion.  They remain completely oblivious to how the “basement-dwellers” are actually their equivalents, and both respective “teams” in this working class struggle have the opportunity to level with one another and realize their common goal.  But they don’t.  The Kim mother wants to call the police and wavers only when the former housekeeper gains the upper hand; she, in turn, shows no sympathy for them when the tables turn.

Why is it not easy to despise the Parks, in their ludicrous wealth?  Because they care about each other.  They try to take their son camping, enjoy walkie talkies, worry about their daughter.  Yet the detestable things about them are everywhere.  Wisecrack, in their podcast, talk to how their son’s fascination with Native American culture was a nod to how he failed to understand their complex history and only saw it as something to play with; Binging with Babish, in his signature style, cooked the noodle dish from the movie and only briefly commented on the symbolism it served: The son enjoyed cheap noodles that are worth about 50 cents, but the mother refused to allow him to eat something so low-class and put a special kind of steak in it.  This steak, Binging with Babish explained, is more expensive than wagyu and is kind of the equivalent of putting extremely expensive truffles in your Big Mac.

Is upward mobility a lie?  Well, not exactly.  But the director of Parasite called the final shot a “kill shot” - instead of ending with the ambiguous image of him trying to buy the house, it ends with the realization that he will probably never be able to actually get it.  We’re not supposed to root for him...we’re supposed to doubt him, and his final glance at the audience is supposed to make us ask ourselves if we fall for the same illusion.

But....oof.

It’s a complex problem with no easy solutions.  Maybe that’s why people like this movie so much.  It doesn’t just turn to the audience and say “Rich people are actually miserable, you don’t want to be them!” or “Poor people are in a bad situation...they should rise up and overthrow the system!”  NerdWriter runs through his entire career, focusing mostly on Parasite and a significant amount on Snowpiercer, which is less of a “there are no villains and no heroes” sort of movie and more of an all-out-revolution sort of movie.  It, without spoiling too much, highlights some of the flaws in the “us for them” thinking.  Fight Club does the same thing.  Dark Knight Rises does the same thing.  When a movement becomes more oppressive and violent than the system it was originally invented to destroy, then you have a problem.

Hunger Games also tried to do this, but I personally think they were less successful.  Even Dark Knight Rises fell flat to some degree...but those ending shots were AWESOME.

The conclusion?  There isn’t one.  I’m just sitting here with this lamb and sake, which...if anyone asks...is an awful combination I love for some reason.  I made a bean stir fry.  I might watch Netflix or try my hand at Leetcode tonight.

I’m middle class - some might say I have too little and should be more ambitious, some might say I have too much and should be more grateful...but I’m in the middle.  If one wants to see a movie that depicts middle class life, he/she need look no further than American Beauty - a great movie in its own right.

So I watch a movie like Parasite, and I think...what do I do now?

The answer is probably nothing, but the allure of extreme wealth and/or fame is still tantalizing.  And other possible interpretations jump up, like being more happy with what I have or paying more attention to movies or donating to more homeless shelters...and none of that, I really believe, are the intended meaning of the movie Parasite.

It just comes out and it says: Here is a problem.  It can’t paint a solution, but it can show us those little creases and wrinkles that make the world a way that isn’t what we wish it to be.  And we can try to think of a solution, or solutions, and try to work together to solve it.

...Or we can just keep ripping each other part, staring into that half hour of light, completely oblivious to where we really are and where we’re really going.

[lol-jackles]

I read your answer about Jared's interview on K & R. I see what you're saying but I found myself rolling my eyes at the immediate talk about his height and his hair and beanies like they looked up stuff about him on the internet so they'd have stuff to talk about. I wasn't expecting an in depth interview about philosophy or life but it seemed so shallow I guess. And bit on the show was pointless at this stage. But Jared is much more natural than Jensen. I don't mind if you post your answer.

You don’t watch morning talk shows do you, especially those hosted by women.  Male hosted morning talk shows can get serious on the Al Gore cereal level, but come on, it’s supposed to be shallow because most people aren’t tumblr-basement-dwellers stalking celebrities’ private lives or writing 47 essays of metas based on one line in one scene because people are busy with lives on their own, or at least busy updating their own social media accounts.  There are still general SPN fans to this day that doesn’t know Sam and Ruby got married and has three kids.  Even morning new are soft and shallow because people want to start off their day with fluffy ‘news” stories to go with their morning coffee.   

The afternoon and night talk shows goes a little deeper but not by much. What do we remember Oprah for?  “You get a car, You get a car, Everybody gets a car!”  Sure Oprah had done some heavy subjects but most of her audience watch for for the feel good stuff.  Ellen DeGeneres’s persona is sunny and sweet and Dory.  When Rosie O’Donnel hosted her own talk show she was crowned the “Queen of Nice” before she cut off her hair and showed her true off colors.

So we established that talk shows’ contexts are supposed to be shallow, but they still need to contect with the audience.  How do you do that?  Usually I say you have to be a good storyteller especially in cases for lesser-known celebrities but I’ll get to that later.  Well-known celebrities rely on their presence and brand.  Empty-suit Obama went on Oprah not to talk about his policies but to sell a cult of personality, and it worked.  Sexual-harasser Bill Clinton wearing sunglasses and playing the saxophone on the Arsenio Hall show made him one of the cool kids and vote-able.

For lesser-known celebrities they need to be entertaining by being a good story teller.   A good actor can take a writer’s bad line and make it believable, same for story tellers who can spin the most mundane into something entertaining.  Annie Proulx, the author of Brokeback Mountain, is a genius because she can write about the everyday life in a trailer park and make it sound as thrilling and interesting as a spy novel.     

Jensen’s story of how Zepplin got his name was boring because he was telling it as if he was a teacher.  Nobody wants to listen to a teacher, we already had to do that for grade 1 through college.  Jensen’s story of how JJ got her name is one of the more boring shit I’ve seen in fan’s convention reports and videos.  If you’re going to saddle your kids with non-traditional names then you better have a good story to go with it and tell it well.  Jensen knows he’s not an entertaining storyteller and that’s why he rarely does solo panels and prefers to be paired up with entertainers like Jared.  Jared has told the same stories on Jimmy Kimmel and Kelly & Ryan but he spin it in a way that’s entertaining for the audience.

[andavs]

Miss Congeniality is on tv and im thinking is there a sterek au out there?? Stiles, the new FBI agent, who does things instinctively and is quirky and weird vs no-nonsense Derek the FBI agent who believes in procedure and protocols. Stiles has to go undercover at a pageant/some sort of competition with Derek as his handler. Reveals how good and competent he is at saving the real winner Scott ala Cheryl/Rhode Island. And Stiles singing to Derek "you think I'm gorgeous...you want to kiiiiiss meee.

Real talk, I’m kind of tipsy so this might be a little disjointed, but ooh, I really love the idea of like, basement dweller analyst Stiles, who is objectively a complete fucking wreck. He’s not creepy and he knows how to function as a human being, but he just gets so wrapped up in his work that he maybe forgets to do laundry for two months, and he eats like a broke college student, and maybe steamrolls over a lot of social cues because he has vital information that people need to know right now.

I don’t even know what competition it would be in this AU. My instinct is to say like, America’s Next Top Male Model, but obviously Derek would be the top pick for that. Unless they tried to get Derek into this competition, but he was so awkward and uncomfortable in that situation that his face just shut down and all of the judges scooted back a bit while he glared at them in dead silence.

Sooooo, plan B. Which fails, because Agent Lahey is attractive but he doesn’t photograph well. He kills it on the runway though and somehow came out with five modeling agencies trying to lure him into a contract.

Plan C: Agent Boyd, who straight up refused to get involved, because he works organized crime and are you seriously bothering him with this shit? Get out.

Plans D - L also all fail for a variety of reasons, and at this point they’ve got Agents Argent and Yukimura scouring the building, ducking into every office and taking pictures of very confused office workers who generally don’t see daylight during office hours. They’re desperate, okay? Both male and female competitions across the country have been targeted, all with the same MO, and they have evidence suggesting this ANTMM is next. Four people have died already, they need to catch this guy.

Which is how they end up in the windowless basement of analysts in their cubicles, and after striking out with all of them, about to head back upstairs in defeat, they run into Stiles. 

He’s just leaving the dinky kitchen, eating microwave instant ramen with two pens for chopsticks, he has a yellow stain on his wrinkled button up from the broth, and his hair is a greasy mess because he’s been at the office for the last 36 hours trying to finish his last assignment. He’s not technically supposed to spend that much time there, but if he hides in a specific corner of the supply closet, the custodians and security guards don’t see him and he can sneak back to his desk by 1am.

He’s a mess, his eyes are bloodshot, and he has the darkest circles under his eyes, but he’s got nice cheekbones and pretty eyes (aside from the red), so they grab him by the collar and drag him back upstairs.

Derek is less than impressed, refuses initially, but Allison swears she knows someone who can whip Stilinski into shape in record time. Allison doesn’t make empty promises.

Stiles slurps his ramen. The stain on his shirt has grown from being yanked around the office.

*

Lydia does whip him into shape, ruthlessly, and Stiles doesn’t even deny crying about it because she completely killed the rugged stubble he was coaxing to fruition on his jaw. They forced eye drops into his eye balls, which he never wants to feel ever again, and gave him a facial that left his entire face and neck bright pink (”It’s supposed to do that, it’s exfoliation, your skin is a tragedy,” Lydia said with disdain), and he’s pretty sure that this would be considered assault under any other circumstance.

He’s on a strict juice cleanse, they plucked his eyebrows, and the things they did to his junk for “the swimsuit portion” is definitely assault, which he will be reporting to the higher ups the next time he can get to a phone.

“You need to stop staring at screens,” Lydia orders him, swiping every phone and computer away the second he gets his hands on them. “You’re getting premature neck wrinkles and you squint too much.”

Stiles wants to cry.

Derek wants to die the first time he sees their creepy gremlin analyst in a fitted suit with his hair done correctly and his face properly moisturized. Cue the shit, he’s hot montage of slow motion walking across the tarmac, until Stiles trips on some cables that have already been taped down.

“We’re lucky he plays baseball occasionally,” Lydia says once they’re on the plane to the competition. “Not even I can give him muscle definition that fast, but we can work some magic with a spray tan.”

Derek silently thinks it would be a crime to spray tan Stiles and looks out the window at the cities passing by below.

“I just want some fries,” Stiles sobs, sprawled across three seats like he’s about to feint from starvation. Lydia hands him a green smoothie and he glares.

*

I love the idea of Scott being Cheryl. Super nice and welcoming, doesn’t raise eyebrows at Stiles’…less than attractive habits, even helps cover for them, and they quickly become friends. Derek isn’t jealous. At all.

Scott’s finished his undergrad, he’s been working to save money, and he’s trying to figure out how to pay for the vet program he got into–preferably taking out minimal loans. And this competition just so happens to have a pretty massive cash payout at the end. Three hours after meeting, Stiles has silently sworn to do everything in his power to make sure Scott leaves with that money.

Scott has silently sworn to do everything in his power to make sure Stiles doesn’t make a total ass out of himself on national television. He’s…kind of succeeding. He had a moment of self-doubt when he asked what Stiles’ talent portion would be and got a blank stare in return.

Then we get lots of sneaking around! Stiles all over the place, lowkey thinking and acting like he’s James Bond, whispering stupid things into his earpiece like the fox has entered the henhouse, while Derek rolls his eyes back in their base of operations. And look, he’s ridiculous, but he also analyzes shit for a living, and combined with what he’s learned from his dad, he nails it.

I don’t know where the “you want to kiiiiss me” scene would go, but Derek leaning in like he’s going to kiss Stiles and then deadpan snarky eating a candy bar that Stiles is strictly forbidden from eating? That is perfect on literally every level and totally something he would do. He’s such a little shit and kind of emotionally stunted; he would flirt like a kindergartner who doesn’t understand how to express his feelings. And also Stiles is a pain in the fucking ass and deserves it for the way he…molests the straws in his stupid green smoothies every day. It’s sexual and wrong, and Derek can’t be blamed for needing to leave the room.

And look, we’ve gotta bring Scott in on the secret like halfway through. Stiles is a mess on every level, he doesn’t know the most basic things about the competition…it’s not convincing. Scott had to physically stop him from putting way too much gel in his hair–like, way too much. If it weren’t for Scott and Lydia teaming up, Stiles would’ve been disqualified immediately for trying to pair that jacket and those socks.

Whatever the threat is, obviously they stop it and catch the guy, probably the twins or Deucalion or something–the usual suspects. There’s life-threatening stunts and bomb defusing, and Stiles and Derek are taking out one twin backstage while Scott punches the other on national TV and wrestles the remote detonator away from him. At first everyone’s all, “Scott McCall has snapped! He’ll kill for the win!” but then Deucalion or whoever sets off the second bomb, and Scott’s right in the crowd getting people to safety!

And whatever the original verdict from the judges, they change their mind, because for all that every contestant talked about world peace and doing everything they could to help others, Scott was the only one who did that. It’s an easy win, really, and he gets more than enough for veterinary school, and he fucking rocks at it.

Backstage, Derek and Stiles take down their bad guys like the perfect team they are, and then probably do that stupid action movie thing where they take the time to kiss while a building is on fire around them? Just a real quick one, and then they resume again outside at a safe distance from the building. And then they both cash in their sick days (because they’re both workaholics who haven’t taken one in like five years) and spend a week together eating junk and ignoring their phones and having a grand ole time. In bed.

[metaltreads-blog]

Welcome to MetalTreads’ Depot

Greetings friends, classmates, and random strangers who come across this!  You are about to see some of what culture makes MetalTreads, MetalTreads.

First and foremost is my religion.  Like Timothy, I have “known the holy scriptures since my youth” (2 Tim 3:15).  I may not be the next Paul, but I’ve actually read the whole Bible through chronologically multiple times, and have been able to give several devotionals.  If I were to summarize my life’s motto in 2 verses, they would be Ecclesiastes 12:13 and 1 Peter 3:15.  Nothing in my life comes before Christ and His church.

Another factoid about myself is that I am a gamer.  I have been playing video games almost my entire life, and still do so to this day.  The primary game I play is World of Warcraft, although there are many, many others I have played over the years.  

I know the joke goes “Gamers are just a bunch of anti-social basement dwellers who don’t know what the sun looks like!”.  But take it from me, this is not the case.  On the contrary, I’ve met many people through gaming, learned many “general facts” (science and history, for example), various economic principles, and many other things by playing video games.  Hey, gaming is an art and a culture unto itself.

But that’s only part of the story.  I do try to be aware of my heritage.  I have mostly Ukrainian blood in me, but also some Irish and Cherokee (that I know of).  I might not go around doing a “kozachok” dance, but I’ve tried to educate myself on other heritage and history facts.  For example, my mother’s father is 1st generation American.  His parents were both born in the Ukraine, and moved to Canada before coming down to America through Michigan (so good luck trying to find us through Ellis Island).  Despite this, I cannot speak Ukrainian.

If the internet is to be trusted, below is my full name in Ukrainian

So.... let’s talk about books for a minute shall we?  I wouldn’t consider myself a “reader”, but I have read several fictional books, mostly books related to the games I play but also a couple of Stephen King novels and the old Goosebumps books from R.L. Stine.

Care to hear another interesting fact?  I was actually homeschooled all the way up from birth until college.  You can probably imagine, this means educating and bettering myself has always been a high priority, and continues to be to this day.  “Teachable moments” were the words growing up.  While I had plenty of books to study from and equations to solve, I learned many other lessons not in the traditional “classroom” way.  If there was a lesson to be taught from a random errand in the day, my parents made sure I got it.  I believe this lifestyle of education is helping me be successful in college (4.0 GPA!) 

When it comes to music, I mostly enjoy listening to video game music and old music.  You know, 70′s and 80′s and stuff.  I might not know hardly any modern songs or singers, but I know the old names like ABBA, Steely Dan, Beach Boys, Billy Joel and others.  Hey, I didn’t start the fire. 

Now let’s talk about the one thing that none of us can live without: food!  I’ve had most of the traditional stuff we all know and love: pizza, burgers, soup, chili with way too much hot-sauce, things like that.  Now, I’m going to draw from a previous point I’ve mentioned: heritage.  I’m a southerner, so I’m no stranger to things like grits, fried chicken, hushpuppies and hoecake (betcha had to look that one up).  And as a southerner, I’m gonna tell you a couple of things.  Number one, I don’t say “sweet tea”.  It’s just tea.  Sugar is a given.  Number two, any carbonated drink that comes in a can or glass bottle is called “coke”, even if it’s Pepsi, Fanta, Dr. Chek R.C. or something else.  Number three, however your mother cooked your food for you is the right way to cook.

As for holidays, I celebrate most of the “usual” ones: New Year’s, Memorial Day, Easter, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Veteran’s Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Christmas is my personal favorite and no, not because you get stuff on Christmas day.  I enjoy the lights and decorations, and somewhat cooler weather we get down here as opposed to all other times of the year (as any Floridian knows, we have 2 seasons: Christmas and “Hot”).

These are just a few things that make up MetalTreads.  I hope you have enjoyed this brief look at what makes me, me.

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

asjdjjsjsjs

accurate

A bunch of other stuff happens

and then you threaten to lock the basement permanently unless they banish one of the teenagers

None of the basement people want to, but the other teenager (who is now leading the basement people???) agrees

The teenager is banished to the attic

He completely loses it

He worships logs?? He has depression?? He’s on Snapchat??

At this point, you recognize that it is time to close the saga of the basement dwellers once and for all

Literally everyone is seceding to the fucking basement, no one is paying rent, there’s independent states in the basement now, and this is all despite the fact that the d&d player blew up the basement a month ago. And now he’s dead.

He’s a ghost

You officially live in a haunted apartment

So, in order to bring peace to the lands, you decide to psychologically manipulate and gaslight the attic teenager, while also building a maximum security prison in the elevator shaft

Sometimes, you look in the mirror and ask yourself, Why? Why is this my life? Why do I inflict such suffering on these basement dwellers?

Why did I go to college to end up giving a 16-year-old emotional trauma?

None of this is excusable or morally right, and you’ve realized that at this point

You cannot recognize the old you

Your story is inescapably tied to the basement, and it will hide your grave one day

Also, you may or may not be married to a furry. It’s really unclear at this point.

Honestly the entire rapid escalation of the revolutionary war is hilarious from Dream’s perspective. Imagine you like, share a house with a bunch of other people, and you’re kind of the guy in charge since you own the house and pay most of the rent. But then you get this new guy who’s a bit weird and overdramatic but overall he’s okay, until about a week after he moves in you find him making drugs in the basement with the two teenagers in the house.

“What the fuck,” you say. “Stop making drugs in my basement.”

“Fuck you,” the new guy says. “I’m gonna keep making drugs and I’m also gonna declare the basement an entirely separate household you can’t control. And I’m not gonna help pay rent.”

You leave the basement and tell everybody else like “can you believe this shit.” The new guy will not allow anyone in the basement unless they’re European. He’s locked the doors. He comes out a week later and his drug-making posse has doubled in size. They’re wearing matching outfits. “You’re a tyrant and you suck and we’re gonna fight you because you’re oppressing our new basement household.”

And eventually you say fuck it, they can do what they want and you want nothing to do with it. You hear something about an election and just keep on living your life. Fuckin d&d players. They still don’t pay rent, although you’re not sure if they’re making drugs anymore. They ask you to let a friend visit and you let this weird alcoholic businessman stay for a while because if you don’t they’re probably gonna start another revolution again.

And then you pop your head in to check on them because y’know, they’re still your roommates and sometimes you’re a bit curious. The alcoholic businessman has taken over. The weird d&d player has been banished and quite possibly is living in a box in the alleyway nearby. Someone has a pickaxe and is trying to tear down the basement walls.

You are now weirdly invested in the lives of the basement people. They still don’t pay rent.

[food-advisor]

So Are Microgreens simply Teeny-Tiny greens or What?

Microgreens sound quite lovable and wholesome, right? Vegetables are super, and the whole thing is better whilst you make a tiny version of it. However, you may also surprise, what are microgreens, honestly?

So here’s what you want to realize about what microgreens are, precisely. Plus, why people like them, what they flavor like, their nutritional benefits, a way to use them, a way to develop them, and where to buy them.

What microgreens are

“Microgreens are a modern class of veggies harvested as tender immature greens,” Francesco Di Gioia, Ph. D., assistant professor of Vegetable Crop technological know-how at the Penn nation college of Agricultural Sciences, tells SELF. Those teeny-tiny greens are the seedlings produced with the aid of sprouting the seeds of flowers like veggies, herbs, and a few pseudo-grains (like amaranth and buckwheat), which include wild fit to be eaten species, Di Gioia says.

Somewhere between a sprout and an infant veggie, microgreens are essentially the same plant you’d buy at the grocery shop (like a veggie or herb), at a far in an advance degree of a boom, Tyler Matchett, cofounder of Splash of vegetables, a city microgreens farm in New Brunswick, Canada, tells SELF. “If left to grow, they would become a full-grown vegetable,” Matchett explains. But microgreens are normally harvested just one or two weeks after germination—and as much as four, Di Gioia says, depending at the species—when the plant is just one to 3 inches tall. You snip off the portion of the seedling above the root, which includes the cotyledon (the initial leaf that sprouts out of the seed embryo), the stem, and the first “authentic leaves” of the plant. Bam, you’ve were given a microgreen.

“Microgreens also are known as ‘vegetable confetti’ because they're tiny, stunning greens characterized by a selection of colors and shapes, in addition to through very one of a kind and excessive, from time to time sudden, flavors,” Di Gioia says. There are loads of various kinds of microgreens. Pea, sunflower, broccoli, and radish microgreens are a number of the maximum famous varieties amongst Matchett’s clients. Other sorts encompass beets, Swiss chard, cucumber, candy pea, endive, savoy, Brussels sprouts, mustards, cauliflower, tatsoi, spinach, kohlrabi, mint, basil, sorrel, cauliflower, arugula, collard, fenugreek, carrot, mizuna, corn, turnip, chervil, celery, scallions, and komatsuna.

Why human beings love microgreens

You might be questioning what’s so extremely good about these itty-bitty vegetables. Some things, surely.

1. They’re yummy.

First and most important, those little guys can make a contribution to a surprising quantity of taste and texture to a dish. “A handful of microgreens can enhance quite simple dishes, including coloration, extent, and flavor at the equal time,” Di Gioia says. “chefs love them, and had been the usage of them for years as a garnish or a unique way to feature flavor accents to a dish,” Matchett provides, noting they’re particularly prized for his or her delicate texture and wide array of flavor notes.

What they taste like, precisely, totally relies upon at the plant. “Microgreens can be mild, sweet, bitter, bitter, or can generate more complex flavors in our mouths [like] highly spiced, peppery, or licorice,” Di Gioia says.

“The taste can almost be described as a greater concentrated shape of the vegetable,” Matchett explains. “A highly spiced radish, as an instance, will commonly be spicier in its microgreen shape. And you will get a much wider taste profile, however, you’ll nevertheless recognize it's miles radish—it's just the tastiest radish you have ever eaten.”

2. They’re nutritious.

Microgreens also can upload a further dose of plant goodness to your meal. “Over the previous few years, numerous studies have suggested that microgreens are nutrient-dense, being an awesome source of essential minerals, nutrients, and antioxidants,” Di Gioia says. Whilst “there is a lot of variability among species and developing situations,” as Di Gioia points out, commonly talking microgreens frequently have a more concentration of those micronutrients than their complete-grown counterparts, pound for pound. Many microgreens are four to 6 instances higher in vitamins and antioxidants than the grown plant, consistent with the U.S. Countrywide Library of medicine.

In 2012 observe, USDA and college of Maryland researchers evaluated the diet and antioxidant content of 25 commonplace microgreens. They located that even though there was a variety of variations among the species, in popular microgreens had markedly better concentrations of nutrients and carotenoids (a kind of antioxidant) than complete-grown plant life. As an example, pink cabbage microgreens had greater than 40 times the vitamin E content and 28.6 instances the lutein-zeaxanthin concentration (two sorts of carotenoids) than absolutely grown crimson cabbage.

In 2016 have a look at published within the magazine of meals Composition and evaluation, researchers have done a controlled experiment by planting a hundred lettuce seeds, then randomly harvesting one kilogram of microgreens weeks after germination, and one kilogram of mature lettuce 10 weeks after germination. They determined that compared to the mature lettuce, the microgreens had been on average a drastically better source of the maximum of the minerals they measured—which include calcium ( times as an awful lot as mature lettuce), iron (1.Nine instances as lots), manganese (nine.3 times as a whole lot), zinc (1.6 times as much), and selenium (five times as much).

Three. They’re smooth and fun to grow.

While you can buy freshly harvested microgreens, a part of the appeal for a few folks is growing the little vegetation for themselves. “people love the opportunity to self-produce microgreens and devour their very own fresh vegetables,” Di Gioia says. Microgreens make the enjoyment of growing your very own meals more available to town dwellers and novices because they require little or no area and upkeep, Di Gioia explains. And you don’t want to have a green thumb or ton of patience to develop them successfully, seeing that they’re low-protection and equipped to reap inside days.

The grow-your-very own-meals aspect of microgreens has grown to be especially appealing and sensible this yr, with humans seeking to reduce down on trips to the grocery shop, Di Gioia says. “in the course of the pandemic, plenty of humans have changed their purchasing conduct, and lots of started to produce their very own veggies, together with microgreens, just to keep away from going to the supermarket every other day,” Di Gioia says. “now not everybody has a lawn, and microgreens provide the possibility to supply fresh greens even in a condominium or the basement of a small residence.”

The way to add more microgreens on your eating regimen Microgreens are flexible and experimentation-pleasant. You may use them as a fresh garnish on pretty much any savory dish—soup, pasta, grain bowls, stir-fries, avocado toast, eggs, baked potatoes, casseroles roasted greens, meat, or fish. Matchett’s clients love sprinkling microgreens on hot pizza, the use of a gaggle in a salad, throwing them in an inexperienced smoothie, or using them in the region of lettuce on a burger or sandwich. “some humans even cross as a long way as to lead them to into a delectable pesto,” Matchett says.

As for in which to get your microgreens? You can purchase seeds, trays, and growing mediums (generally soil mixes or fiber mats) for quite cheap from any local gardening center or online seed dealer, Matchett says. He recommends the true Leaf market for seeds and materials (also bought thru Amazon), in addition to Terrafibre emblem hemp grow mats ($16, Amazon). Many seed organizations additionally sell incredible-convenient (even though pricier) developing kits that include the whole thing you want to get began, Di Gioia says—seed mixes, trays, growing mediums, and commands. Di Gioia unearths Johnny decided on Seeds to be the all-around maximum dependable seller for satisfactory seeds and growing kits. “they have got a full catalog just for microgreens and provide statistics on seed quality (germinability, seed weight), days from sowing to reap, seeding density, and flavor of the precise microgreens,” he says. (in case you’re going the DIY direction with simply seeds rather than a growing package, check out Di Gioia’s step-by using-step growing manual right here.)

And if developing your microgreens appears like extra of a pain in the butt than a laugh interest, no worries. As a hobby in microgreens grows, they’re turning into greater extensively to be had to customers, Di Gioia says. You should buy fresh microgreens from neighborhood providers, like farmers' markets or city farms (strive to google “microgreens close to me”), as well as, increasingly, supermarkets.

“I would just like to inspire human beings to strive them out,” Matchett says. “Even in case you aren't partial to veggies often, pick up a percent from a nearby farmer if you may find them to your vicinity, and upload it in your favored meals. I do not suppose you'll be dissatisfied.”

All products featured on SELF are independently selected by using our editors. But, when you purchase something through our retail hyperlinks, we may also earn an associate commission.

[apurplesupervillain]

good realistic webcomics in no particular order:

basically everything that doesn’t fit on the sci-fi/fantasy list. (note: a lot of these will have descriptions like “slice of life college,” but consider this: i wouldn’t rec it if it wasn’t good.)

basement dwellers: high school gets in the way of a teen’s quest to become a rock god. ~*bobwhite: slice of life comic about three girls at an art school. (one of my all time faves.) dumbing of age: long running slice of life college (mostly-)comedy. ~sakana: adventures of an anxious dude at tsukiji fish market, and all his weird friends and family. ~check please!: a tiny, pie-baking figure skater from georgia vlogging about his experiences on his college hockey team. ~***the less than epic adventures of tj and amal: two strangers on a road trip from california to rhode island. (one of the greatest comics ever made, imo.) ***khaos komix: classic queer british teen drama. (khaos itself is over, but there are more stories on the site.) (also the main stories are sfw, and it’s basically impossible to accidentally read the nsfw side stories.) cafe amargo: in 1939, domingo ramirez has hit rock bottom. though he thinks he can only go up from there, his new “job” turns his life upside down. knights errant: several quests for revenge converge on a locked fort city and a traitor to the king. anders loves maria: reboot of an older complete comic. a young couple prepare to have a baby. *sacred heart: teenage punks in a cult town where all the adults have disappeared. (now reworked and completed in graphic novel form, but there are 19 chapters available online.) *~little teeth: interconnected stories about a group of friends. funny with great art. different kind of queer rep than you usually get. terrible terrible terrible: kill your gods, eat trash, be free. watch your head: slice of life college comedy. ~puu: story about 2 roommates, their friends, and religious/queer topics in tamil nadu. beautiful art. ~*octopus pie: follows two childhood friends who were reunited as roommates, and everybody else they know. (extremely good for many reasons, but Especially interesting panelling and composition.) ~as the crow flies: a queer black 13 year-old finds herself at an all white “girls’ empowerment” christian summer retreat. night physics: “what do you dream about?” this is not fiction: in order to meet the romance novelist he’s in love with, julian must turn to the godfather of high school. (a rly sweet romantic comedy about demi-romantic characters.) rock and riot: light, goofy comic about queer 1950′s teens in a high school turf war. *always raining here: rly cute high school bl comic. the girl who flew away: 1976: a young woman gets pregnant from an affair with her boss, so he sends her to his friends in florida to wait out her pregnancy. and she starts having strange dreams.... nothing better: roommates at a christian college. johnny wander: comics by yuko ota and ananth hirsh, autobio and fiction. ~lackadaisy: 1920′s speakeasy war. incredible art, fun characters. comiques: autobio strips in an interesting style. something positive: long-running slice of life about a misanthrope and his friends. ***14 nights: a guy who’s afraid of sex navigating a relationship. rly interesting art, great characters, covers topics (sexuality, disability, the immigrant experience) in a nuanced way. stereophonic: a queer comic about 2 roommates in 1960′s england. kids these days: 3 young artists in a fictional 18th century city. ~jeremy sorese: beautiful art. does a lot of autobio and realistic comics. (also published an Amazing sci-fi graphic novel jsyk.) ~*drop out: two girlfriends on a road trip to throw themselves off the grand canyon. unconvent: lesbian historical romance set in an 18th century brazilian convent. heartstopper: gay high school romance. not a lot of conflict, if ur into that. heir’s game: queer romance adventure about duelists fighting to the death to become the heir to the throne’s bodyguard. the contradictions: an autobiographical comic about a young woman studying abroad in paris. great black and white art.

~mvps. *completed. **explicit. (check back for updates!)

[hyggetwt-blog]

Labels Masterlist

This is a list of character titles that might help you develop your character and pinpoint what they’re all about. It’s been alphabetised and categorised based on lifestyle, careers, mannerisms, hobbies, etc. Credits to nph of rph

Based on lifestyle:

the Academic

the Adventurer

the All-American Boy

the Ambitious

the Anarchist

the Anchorite

the Artful Dodger

the Avant-Garde

the Backpacker

the Badass Bookworm

the Basement-Dweller

the Beach Bum

the Beatnik

the Bedridden

the Blue Blood

the Bohemian

the Bourgeois Bohemian

the Charity Case

the City Mouse

the Conspiracy Theorist

the Country Mouse

the Cultured Badass

the Daredevil

the Deadbeat

the Devout

the Drifter

the Earth Mother

the English Rose

the Farm Boy

the Fish out of Water

the Flower Child

the Fratbro

the Glory Seeker

the Gold Digger

the Granola Girl

the Greaser Delinquent

the Halcyon

the Health Nut

the Hermit

the High Queen

the Highbrow

the Hippie

the Hipster

the Homeschool Kid

the Idle Rich

the Indigent

the It Girl

the Knight Errant

the Lady of Adventure

the Lady of War

the Lifelong Learner

the Lonely Rich Kid

the Lost

the Mafia Princess

the Miscreant

the Mock Millionaire

the Mooch

the Mountain Man

the Munchausen

the New-Age Retro Hippie

the Night Owl

the Nomad

the Opportunist

the Outdoorsy Gal

the Pariah

the Party Fanatic

the Prima Donna

the Princess Classic

the Profligate

the Prom Queen

the Quincy Punk

the Rebellious

the Rebel Prince

the Recluse

the Rich Bitch

the Risk Taker

the Royal Brat

the Satisfied Street Rat

the Sea Dog

the Seeker

the Sheltered Aristocrat

the Socialite

the Southern Belle

the Spiritualist

the Spoiled Brat

the Spoiled Sweet

the Straight-A Student

the Thrill Seeker

the Trailblazer

the Traveler

the Upper-Class Twit

the Uptown Girl

the Vagrant

the Wanderer

the Workaholic

the Young Gun

Based on careers/occupations:

the Absent-Minded Professor

the Alchemist

the Amateur Sleuth

the Author

the Back Alley Doctor

the Barnum

the Bungling Inventor

the By-the-Book Cop

the Chef

the Conservationist

the Cowboy

the Deep Cover Agent

the Farmer

the Filmmaker

the Firefighter

the Good Doctor

the Grease Monkey

the High School Hustler

the Inventor

the Intrepid Reporter

the Journalist

the Librarian

the Park Ranger

the Phony Psychic

the Photographer

the Politician

the Private Investigator

the Scholar

the Shopkeeper

the Soldier

the Starving Artist

the Street Performer

the Stoner

the Trucker

the Veteran

the White-Collar Criminal

Based on hobbies/interests:

the Aesthete

the Artist

the Astrophile

the Avid Reader

the Badass Biker

the Band Geek

the Bibliophile

the Biker Babe

the Blogger

the Bookworm

the Botanist

the Camera Fiend

the Camper

the Collector of the Strange

the Dancer

the Epistemophile

the Fashionista

the Gambler

the Gamer Chick

the Gardener

the Gearhead

the Gym Rat

the Gymnast

the History Buff

the Hunter

the Jock

the Logophile

the Mad Artist

the Metalhead

the Music Lover

the Nature Lover

the Passionate Sports Girl

the Pianist

the Poet

the Rock-n-Roller

the Sci-Fi Geek

the Sculptor

the Skater

the Surfer Dude

the Thespian

the Woodworker

the Writer

Based on skills:

the Animal Whisperer

the Athlete

the Beautiful Mind

the Bibliognost

the Card Sharp

the Comedian

the Con Artist

the Diplomat

the Empathic Healer

the Engineer

the Friend in the Black Market

the Gentleman Thief

the Green Thumb

the Gunslinger

the Handy Man

the Little Miss Con Artist

the Mathemetician

the Mechanic

the Playful Hacker

the Prankster

the Puppetmaster

the Renaissance Man

the Schemer

the Stuntman

the Techno Wizard

the Tinkerer

the True Craftsman

the Virtuoso

the Wordsmith

Based on history:

the Action Survivor

the Asshole Victim

the Bluebeard

the Broken Bird

the Circus Brat

the Clean Slate

the College Widow

the Defector from Decadence

the Fallen Princess

the Former Child Star

the Former Teen Rebel

the Foster Kid

the Good Girl Gone Bad

the Jaded Washout

the Lawman Gone Bad

the Military Brat

the Nouveau Riche

the Old Money

the Pollyanna

the Recovered Addict

the Reformed Criminal

the Retired Badass

the Runaway

the Schoolyard Bully All Grown Up

the Screw-Up

the Self-Made Man

the Sellout

the Shell-Shocked Veteran

the Tenderfoot

the White-Dwarf Starlet

Based on mannerisms:

the Agent Mulder

the Agent Scully

the Alpha Bitch

the Barbaric Bully

the Baroness

the Bitch in Sheep’s Clothing

the Boisterous Bruiser

the Boisterous Weakling

the Bully

the Casanova

the Charmer

the Choleric

the Class Clown

the Cloudcuckoolander

the Coquette

the Cunning

the Curmudgeon

the Dandy

the Dark Horse

the Delinquent

the Dilettante

the Diva

the Docile

the Don Juan

the Donnish

the Drama Queen

the Dreamer

the Eeyore

the Emo

the Erudite Stoner

the Exuberant

the Fair Weather Friend

the Fickle

the Firecracker

the Fragile Flower

the Free Spirit

the Gadabout

the Galvanizer

the Gentle Giant

the Gentleman

the Girly Girl

the Golden Boy

the Golden Girl

the Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

the Handsome Devil

the Handsome Lech

the Headstrong

the Heartbreaker

the Hopeless Romantic

the Hot Mess

the Hoyden

the Ice Queen

the Individualist

the Ingenue

the Insufferable Genius

the Jerk With a Heart of Gold

the Kid at Heart

the Lady in Red

the Larrikin

the Leader Wannabe

the Life of the Party

the Lonely Doll Girl

the Loose Cannon

the Lovable Nerd

the Lovable Rogue

the Lover of Love

the Man Child

the Melancholic

the Minx

the Modest

the Morose

the Naive Everygirl

the Neat Freak

the Observer

the Oddball

the One Behind a Wall

the Ophelia

the Overachiever

the Pedant

the People Pleaser

the Performer

the Perky Goth

the Phlegmatic

the Plucky Girl

the Poser

the Pragmatic

the Prince Charming Wannabe

the Princely Young Man

the Proper Lady

the Prudent

the Quiet One

the Rebellious Spirit

the Ridiculously Average Guy

the Saccharine

the Sanguine

the Selfless

the Showboater

the Shrinking Violet

the Small Name, Big Ego

the Snarker

the Snoop

the So-Called Special Snowflake

the Sophisticate

the Spirited Young Lady

the Spitfire

the Stable One

the Still Waters Running Deep

the Subdued

the Sweetheart

the Tall, Dark, and Snarky

the Tomboy

the Troublemaker

the Underdog

the Uninhibited

the Unreadable

the Vain Sorceress

the Valley Girl

the Vixen

the Wallflower

the Wild Card

the Wise Guy

the Wise Prince

Based on morals/philosophy:

the Activist

the All-Loving Hero

the Altruist

the Always Neutral

the Backstabber

the Bruiser with a Soft Center

the Conscientious

the Cynic

the Defeatist

the Desperado

the Dogmatic

the Double-Crosser

the Fatalist

the Femme Fatale

the Fettered

the Gadfly

the Hedonist

the Heroic Wannabe

the Idealist

the Incorruptible

the Loyalist

the Ne'er-Do-Well

the Nihilist

the Optimist

the Pessimist

the Philosopher

the Power Hungry

the Quixotic

the Renegade

the Reluctant Monster

the Smug Snake

the Solipsist

the Technical Pacifist

the Vamp

the Vigilante

the Wide-Eyed Idealist

the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Based on flaws:

the Agonist

the Airhead

the Attention Craver

the Blabbermouth

the Bureaucrat

the Brilliant But Lazy

the Casanova Wannabe

the Center of Their Own Universe

the Consummate Liar

the Control Freak

the Cowardly Lion

the Destroyer

the Dirty Coward

the Ditherer

the Ditz

the Egomaniac

the Extreme Doormat

the Fighting Narcissist

the Flake

the Fool

the Glutton

the Gossiper

the Grumpy Bear

the Hair-Trigger Temper

the Heartless

the Hero Complex

the Hothead

the Instigator

the Lost Cause

the Master of Delusion

the Materialist

the Miles Gloriosus

the Miser

the Narcissist

the Paranoid

the Perfectionist

the Person of Mass Destruction

the Petty One

the Prince Charmless

the Pushover

the Reckless

the Self-Destructive

the Self-Righteous

the Slacker

the Sloth

the Snob

the Tempest

the Unlucky Everydude

the Wastrel

Based on strengths:

the Action Girl

the Artisan

the Badass Adorable

the Beauty

the Charmer

the Child Prodigy

the Cool Old Guy

the Cool Old Lady

the Courageous

the Creative

the Dauntless

the Determinator

the Doyenne

the Fearless

the Giver

the Helping Hand

the Industrious

the Intellectual

the Iron Lady

the Leader

the Little Miss Badass

the Loyal One

the Muscle

the Nurturer

the Passionate

the Peacemaker

the Perceiver

the Philanthropist

the Pioneer

the Polymath

the Quick Learner

the Ray of Sunshine

the Sage

the Savant

the Smart Guy

the Steadfast

the Strategist

the Visionary

Based on relationships:

the Allocentric

the Aloner

the Aloof Ally

the Apprentice

the Big Man on Campus

the Black Sheep

the Companion

the Daddy’s Girl

the Dogged Nice Guy

the Dutiful Son

the Fangirl

the Farmer’s Daughter

the Father Figure

the Follower

the Girl Next Door

the Lone Wolf

the Lonely

the Mama Bear

the Mentor

the Momma’s Boy

the Mysterious Stranger

the Networker

the Nosy Neighbor

the Papa Wolf

the Patriarch

the People Pleaser

the Player

the Protector

the Serial Juliet

the Serial Romeo

the Sidekick

the Smitten

the Social Butterfly

the Stage Mom

the Stool Pigeon

the Sycophant

the Tagalong Kid

the Team Mom

the Teacher’s Pet

the Teen Parent

[reesebird]

New Post has been published on https://reesebird.com/2019/05/11/do-i-forgive-my-father-do-i-forgive-myself/

Do I forgive my father? Do I forgive myself?

I’m 40 years old and haven’t achieved much in life. Due to a lack of job prospects in my home country I had to emigrate and now I live in a country that is not my own, it is neither an English speaking country, meaning I have to conduct all daily interactions in a second foreign language, which I had to learn and is still far from perfect, a daily problem. Back in the home country, my father is a successful professor and owns real estate. He is financially well off.

My father is the kind of person that always knows best. He programmed my life. With this I mean he “suggested” what religion I had to believe and what I had to study (because people without an university degree don’t get decent jobs). Being 18 years old I was an absolute moron, an asshole with no idea of life whatsoever and way too immature to verbally confront him. I simply finished high school and didn’t know what to do next, but what he “suggested”.

So I started a double bachelor in law and economics with all expenses paid. I grew up extremely protected, I never learned cooking at home, living with my parents I never did the laundry, I never had to cook until I left my parents house, I never had to work to be at that prestigious university, even then I never had to pay a single bill, I was simply a 19 year old child, not prepared for real life. I wasn’t sure about this bachelor, but I thought “if my father believes I can do it, well, I can. After all I got the third best note of my promotion”.

It backfired. Badly. I wasted three semesters and passed 3 subjects. Any intelligent person would by now have realized that something had to be done. Not me. It was my father. He had a conversation with me and basically told me: “if you don’t want to study this, or if it’s too much, you can stop anytime. Take the rest of the semester as a vacation and think about other bachelors to pursue. Ill cover the expenses.”

I remember I cried like a little bitch. I cried because I was a failure, a loser, a piece of shit, because I had wasted 3 semesters already, because any other student was better than me (simply because they passed).

So I went back to my childhood town and at the beginning of the next semester I told my father “I am going to study law and economics and this time I’m going to pass it”. My father acted a bit surprised, but financed me.

Yes, I failed again. This time I lasted one semester. Yes, I was this level of asshole. What now strucks me is: I went into the class with the attitude of an arrogant asshole: I actively avoided all social interactions, I never replied when talked to, some girls that surely sensed something was off with me tried to talk to me, but I simply ignored them. I even ignored a very pretty girl that showed romantic interest in me. Because I was depressed, because I was a failure, but at the same time I felt superior to all those losers below me (because they were younger). I was now 21 years of age.

I always wanted to major in History, but my father, who always knew better told me it is a bachelor with no prospects and that I should study something else, like law or economics or both. I still had this mindset and instead of getting a job or studying history (something I enjoyed) I got accepted at a local university to study law.

Nope, it didn’t go well this time either. I studied law for 2 semesters and… I don’t even know how many subjects I passed, but not many. 22 years of age. Still no a clear path of life, still avoiding human contact. I had become a hikikomori, a basement dweller.

The next year I didn’t study anything, but simply enrolled in a local academy to learn French and German. 23 years of age. Another girl showed romantic interest in me. I ignored her. I was still antisocial.

On that October, me being 23, I decided to study history at the national open university, because I didn’t want to socialize and studying from home was a way to achieve it, and I wanted to finish a degree and a master in the shortest time and then be financially independent. My father obliged and payed the expenses.

I always enjoyed history and this time I made it. Bachelor of History in 3 years and Master of Contemporary History 2 years later. Plus knowledge of foreign languages and some finished law and economy courses. 28 years of age. From home with no social contacts, no friends and a bit jealous of all other college students with girlfriends, an enraged virgin.

I have tried to describe the situation as realistically as possible.

I blame my father because his actions, no matter how well meant, transformed me into a depressed basement dweller, but I also blame myself for not questioning him earlier, for not growing a spine, for not having the guts of getting a job and moving out. I wasted 4 years of my life and became a depressed antisocial alcoholic. For a decade I never talked to anybody out of my family. I had no friends. Now I still have very poor social skills and compared to people my age I am still very immature.

I am now 40 years old. After my Master of Contemporary History in my home country I finished a second Master of Education (only to discover I don’t like teaching or teenagers) and due to the mortgage crisis I emigrated to Germany to try to find a job with my degrees. Turns out everybody with a Master degree in Germany speaks English and the niche for Italians with a History degree is, well, there is none. Here I wasted another 4 years trying to get the recognition (Anerkennung) of my Master of Education while learning German and doing menial jobs and only a year ago I realized I was still a huge asshole, that I still don’t like teenagers and I’d hate being a high-school teacher. I still wanted to become like my father, to get a job with my degree, to earn as much as him. I’ll never earn as much as him.

I still ask regularly my father for money. It is what it is. The job I do now requires nothing more than a high school diploma and has nothing to do with what I studied and I am, well, a loser. It’s a job. I don’t hate it, don’t like it much either. My father lied to me. A degree is not a guarantee you will get a better job. I am too old to study something else, being 40 I have very poor chances in the marketplace with my degrees and the language barrier is still a problem.

I’m conflicted about what to think of my father and of myself.

I have a tendency to make very bad decisions.

On top of this, I’m an introvert.

TL;DR my father programmed my life and I was too immature to pursue my own path. I wasted 4 years of my life and became an alcoholic depressed antisocial basement dweller. I still receive money from him. Being 40, I am still very immature and have very poor social skills.

[bensfilmreviews]

Parasite (Spoilers)

Rating 8.2/10

Depth, the best way to describe Bong Joon-Ho’s Oscar winning film Parasite. The 2019 film tells the story of the Kim’s, a poor family who to try and make ends meet slowly infiltrate the wealthy Park family. Being my first Korean film ever it was a lot to take in just reading subtitles but I was still able to see the incredibly deep and intricate story that Joon-Ho told.

After showing off the lower class life of the Kim family to begin the film we see Ki-woo offered by a friend of his who is leaving the country for school to be recommended for a job as a English tutor for a girl that he is in love with from the wealthy Park family. The lying and deceit kicks off very early in the film as Ki-woo gets his sister Ki-jung to forge credentials for him as he had never gone to college. When Ki-woo goes for the interview he realizes that he will have to flirt with the teenage high school student Da-hye to get the job and once he does get that high paying job he hears about an opening for an art teacher for their son Da-song. After already doing wrong by his friend and going against what he said about the girl he decides to recommend his sister under an alias of Jessica to be Da-song’s art teacher. After getting hired Ki-jung is driven home by the family’s driver and she sees another opening after noticing how the driver takes a liking to her. To sabotage the driver she leaves her underwear in the car when she leaves which results in him being fired and the perfect opportunity to recommend her “uncle” who is actually her father Ki-taek. Once that position is filled the family is only one member away from fully infiltrating the Park family and the housekeeper is the perfect person for the mother Chung-sook to replace. To get her fired they exploit an allergy of hers and claim that she has tuberculosis and even spill hot sauce in the garbage to push Mrs. Kim over the edge and fires her in fear of her family’s health. After Ki-taek offers a suggestion for the newly opened job Chung-sook is hired and the infiltration is complete. Or at least you would think it is and they can just continue to leech off of this family peacefully. Everything goes south when the Park family heads out on a birthday camping trip and the Kims take advantage by staying in the house. Remember how I mentioned how the word depth just about sums this movie up while here is where it really shows. During the night that the Park family left, the Kim’s hear the doorbell ring and it is none other than the old housekeeper asking to retrieve something she left. Everyone else hides and Chung-sook reluctantly lets her in and she runs to the basement screaming. She opens a secret passage to a bunker where her husband has been living since the Park’s moved in. Mrs. Kim asks them to leave but all of a sudden the rest of her family fall off the stairs and the old housekeeper films and threatens to send it to the Park family and reveal the secret. At this point the Kim’s are essentially blackmailed and forced to be servants for the housekeeper and her husband, but when they finally get the chance they attack and are able to steal the phone. During all of this turmoil they learn that the camping trip was cut short and they will be home in 8 minutes. The Kims scramble to clean everything up and are able to get the basement dweller back to the bunker and eventually his wife after a scare once the Parks return home. The rest of the Kim’s end up hiding under a table and are not able to escape till late in the night as Mr and Mrs Park sit in the living room watching their son camping outside all night. Before they leave they hear Mr. Park complaining about the smell of Mr. Kim again. The next day is when everything really comes together or rather apart as the Park’s throw Da-song a birthday party with a bunch of their friends coming over. The Kim’s are all there to help with the party and Ki-woo goes to the bunker during the party to try and kill the already dead housekeeper's husband who actually ambushes him and goes up to the party as all hell breaks loose. The basement dweller whose name is Geun-sae previously caused Da-song trauma as he thought he saw a ghost when he was younger but it was just Geun-sae. So when Geun-sae comes up Da-song has a seizure whilst Geun-sae stabs Ki-jung, Mr. Kim goes to try and help save his daughter but is yelled at by Mr. Park to give the car keys so he can take his son to the hospital. He does throw them but they land by Geun-sae who is fighting Mrs. Kim who eventually stabs him. When Mr. Park goes to grab the keys he again expresses his disgust for the “underground” smell that he associates with his driver, this sets off Mr. Kim and finally pushes him over the edge to the point where he stabs and Kills Mr. Park. In the aftermath of the events Mr. Kim flees then returns to the house to become the new basement dweller. The movie ends with Ki-woo waking up in the hospital learning that his sister had died and his mother and him were sentenced on probation. Ki-woo sees a message from his father in morse code and writes him back saying how he plans to buy the house and free him which the film concludes showing this fantasy.

There was lots to enjoy about this film but it was not something that really peaked my interest. I still have tons of respect for the artistry that went into this film so I would rate it an 8.2/10 and recommend it. Joon-Ho truly showed his storytelling skill in this film whether that be from the incredible house set that was fully built for the film or his excellent use of rain throughout the film. His flashback scenes are nothing short of amazing and the subtle hints like the ghost story and the buildup of Mr. Park’s issue with the smell adds so much to the film when you look back at it. The Oscar wins for this film show just how incredible this was from a skillful perspective.