#such a personal story but I think it’s an important one to tell

[foenixed]

Hey, my two interests (comic books and transgenderism) are aligned! I'd like to take this opportunity to inform people a little about why her creation of Black Lightning was so important and made her, despite the honestly relatively small number of comics she's written, so influential.

So, the year is 1977 and there aren't many black superheroes at the Big Two (Marvel and DC). Black Panther was the first, introduced in 1966, then Falcon (1969), Black Racer (1971), John Stewart/Green Lantern (1972), Luke Cage (1972) (who also took the title for first Black character to have their own series), Storm (1975) and Bumblebee (1976). Prexisting civilian character Bill Foster was made into Black Goliath (1975) and Mal Duncan into the Guardian (1976). Notably, the writer who turned Bill Foster into a superhero is also the star of this story, Jenny Blake Isabella.

For those keeping track, that's 5 characters at Marvel and 4 at DC. But DC had another problem, and that is that their few black characters are less notable than Marvel's. Black Racer had only really appeared as a side character in a miniseries, Bumblebee and Guardian were part of the failing Teen Titans series and didn't even make 10 appearances before its cancellation, and John Stewart had only appeared in 4 stories, AND he was stuck playing second fiddle because the main Green Lantern was Hal Jordan. They needed a black superhero. They needed a headliner.

Enter Black... Bomber? As has since been revealed, Black Lightning wasn't originally going to be Black Lightning. No. DC had a much worse idea in mind, which Isabella referred to as "Easily one of the most offensive concepts I had ever seen."

As she explained in the foreword to the 2015 Black Lightning TPB:

“During my exclusive arrangement with Marvel, I kept thinking about creating a new African-American hero. I wanted a character to whom our young readers could relate, a character who would inspire them as Superman and Captain America had inspired me. Unexpectedly, a DC editorial misstep gave me that opportunity. DC purchased two scripts for a planned new series called The Black Bomber. The hero, who would be their first "black" character to star in his own title, was a white racist Vietnam vet, who, as a result of taking part in chemical experiments to allow soldiers to blend in better with the jungle, turned into a black supehero in moments of stress. It gets worse. In each of the two well-intentioned scripts, the hero would, in his white racist persona, save a person he couldn't see clearly and, on finding out the person was black, exclaim something along the lines of- and this is a quote- "You mean I risked my life to save a jungle bunny?" And it gets worse. His superhero suit, such as it was, looked for all the world like a basketball uniform. Sweet Christmas!”

“DC wanted me to rewrite those two scripts and go solo on The Black Bomber with the third issue. I begged them to reconsider. It took some time, but I convinced them to consign the Bomber to limbo with the ultimate question: "Do you want your first black superhero to be a white bigot?" Common sense prevailed.”

And prevail it did. In only three weeks, Isabella invented a completely new character to replace the Black Bomber: the man called Jefferson Pierce, aka Black Lightning.

“I returned to my Cleveland roots for three weeks and came back to the DC offices with Jefferson Pierce. He was a teacher because, in a moment of clarity, I realized the one thing the vast majority of our readers had in common was that they all had gone/were going to school. He was based in an urban setting because I had become more political since starting my career and those were the stories I wanted to tell…and still do. He was an Olympic athlete because logic told me he had to have some sort of edge that was not the result of science or mutation.”

“The only thing I didn't have for my new character was a superhero name. Jeff and I found that name in the office of legendary editor Julius Schwartz. On Julie's wall, I spotted a Wonder Woman cover in which she was attempting to lasso a "black lightning bolt" while shouting, "Hera help me stop this Black Lightning before it splits this building in two!" Black Lightning. It sounded very cool to me, and Jeff liked it too. Neither one of us remembered it had also been the name of Western hero Johnny Thunder's horse.”

Not bad for a three week turnaround.

[cherrycheolkat]

• random slutty CUTE thoughts - seungcheol •

the valentine’s day one with clumsy cheol

seungcheol has big plans for valentine’s day, but everything seems to be going wrong - he just wants to make it the best valentine’s day you’ve ever had, no matter what

seungcheol had plans for your valentine’s day evening - he planned the food, the jewelry, the flowers, literally everything PLANNED

but now he’s lying on his back in a hospital bed because he tripped in the bathroom - he wasn’t even showering - he just slipped and whacked his head on the tile and maybe got woozy when he saw some blood

it was so embarrassing, literally everything about tonight was supposed to be sexy

but when you come into the hospital room, worried and squishing his cheeks, asking if he’s ’okay’ and ‘what can you do’ - all he can think is how you’re so cute when you’re worried about him, cooing over him and petting him, calling him ‘baby’ and kissing his forehead - he certainly doesn’t hate it

plus, he’s usually the one who’s protective, but you’re kind of scary when the nurses can’t answer basic questions, like whether it’s a serious head injury or a mild concussion

he’s annoyed when the doctor says he needs to stay the night because he can literally imagine everything he planned sitting at home and going to waste, but at least they say you can stay the night too

you had planned for that, of course, and already brought some extra clothes for yourself and for him, plus a tablet full of downloaded shows and movies and the pillow he likes and an extra blanket

it’s funny to him how a few things from home and having you curled against him make a hospital room seem almost homey

he’s almost okay with things, but also he isn’t at all - tonight was important - he had been waiting to tell you something and this wasn’t the romantic evening he had planned

but when you lean up to kiss him, your warm lips pressing to his, he immediately feels all the warm, quivering feelings you always make him feel - he loves those feelings dearly

you lean back slowly, smoothing his hair and staring at him quietly for a few moments, he returns your gaze, adoring the gentle way you look at him, like he’s someone truly special to you

you lean down again, kissing his cheek softly, “you’re so sweet for planning everything,” you whisper

he flushes slightly, “you weren’t supposed to see that,” he whines

you just smile, “but i did and it was so perfect” —

he stops you, “i know, but then i fell and ruined everything”

you shake your head, “you didn’t ruin anything, cheol,” you assures him, “it’s just a special story we can tell everyone one day,” she smiles, “the day i realized i was completely in love with you,” you kiss him again, lingering for a moment before pulling back

his eyes were large, “i was supposed to confess today!” he whined again

you laugh softly, “so go ahead then - it’s not like we can’t realize it the same day”

he shakes his head, “no, i’ve known - i just wanted to tell you today so it’s romantic…special,” he pouted

you nod, “ah, so you wanted it to be memorable when you told me?” you giggle, “there’s nothing memorable about today, i guess”

he knew you were joking, but he still sulked, and you press closer, “cheol,” you stroke his cheek, “really, i mean it, i love you,” you whisper, “just you,” you press another kiss to his cheek

“maybe i’ll pick another romantic day,” he exaggerated his pouting, making you laugh softly

you nuzzle close, “at least i told you as soon as i knew how i felt”

he sighs, “i knew at christmas when you picked the matching necklaces and refused anything else they had”

she laughed, “that? can it be something else?”

“no - it’s just when i knew you were really the person i love,” he strokes your cheek

you smile, “i guess it’s okay then”

he rolls his eyes, “i love you too,” he finally confesses

you nuzzle closer, enjoying his warmth, “i love you more”

he swats your arm gently, “i’m injured, let me win,” he pouts

you grin, “of course you win, my perfect cheol”

────୨ৎ──── ────୨ৎ──── ────୨ৎ────

a/n: i just wanted something cute for cheollie

♡ kat

if you want to be tagged, go [here] my [master list] if you want to read more

[engie-ivy]

(Not really micro and a day late, but I had to write the Valentine's prompt!)

@wolfstarmicrofic 14th: First I Love You

1110 words

Director's assistant Remus never expected to be working together with famous actor Sirius Black.

Never Expected

Remus never expected to have a crush on a filmstar. As a self-proclaimed film connoisseur (or a film snob as Mary calls it), he had always considered himself to be above such things. He judges actors purely on their performance, their persuasiveness, their story-telling abilities, always impartial and always objective.

Until he saw his first film starring Sirius Black.

Remus was floored. Turned out, he wasn't as above crushing bad on an actor as he thought he was. After being exposed to a couple more films with Sirius Black, once he got a bit more used to those piercing grey eyes with that mischievous glint and that ever-perfect hair effortlessly elegantly falling over that gorgeous face, he could see that Sirius Black is also a great actor. He can make you laugh, he can make you cry, he can make you love him and he can make you hate him, and as much as Remus hates the term, he eventually accepted that he is and always will be a fan.

Remus never expected to have a career in the film industry. He did go to the Film Academy, because he just has such a passion for films, he couldn't ignore that calling. But he isn't the type to go to all the industry parties to make connections with important people and build a career. He had expected that he would be doomed to doing one unpaid internship after the other, while making his money serving coffee.

During one of his internships, however, he met famous ex-filmstar and now famous film director Minerva McGonagall. Remus is nothing if not opinionated when it comes to films, and especially the techniques that go into making films, and he likes to share that opinion, doesn't matter how high a status the other person has. Surprisingly though, Minerva McGonagall wasn't offended by Remus’... outspokenness, but rather impressed, and she offered Remus an actual job in the film industry as her assistant director.

Remus never expected to be making a film with Sirius Black, to be on the same set as Sirius Black, to interact with Sirius Black, to give directions to Sirius Black, but yet, here he is.

And what Remus never ever expected was for Sirius Black to one day after filming ask Remus to practice lines with him. Practicing lines lead to conversations about, of course, films, films they love, films they hate, films they think are overrated and films they can watch over and over again. And when Remus talks about films, he forgets to be nervous, he forgets to be star-struck, and he just talks.

Though talks about films also lead to talks about their lives, about their experiences in the industry, the people they love, their hopes for the future. And Remus learns that in real life, Sirius Black is still breathtaking, still charming, still effortlessly elegant, but he's also a person. A person with a troubled past, with family issues, with fears and insecurities, and Remus loves him all the more for it.

Remus never expected to find Sirius looking at him so many times when they are on set together, for Sirius’ hand to linger on his when they reach for the script at the same time, for Sirius’ eyes to dart over to his lips when they're having their private conversations.

But there's always that voice in Remus’ head that's constantly telling him

He's too good for you

So when Sirius’ fingers stroke the back of his hand, Remus quickly jerks his hand back, when Sirius holds him a little too long hugging him goodbye, Remus pulls away, and when Sirius slowly leans in, Remus takes a step backward.

Sirius plays an eighteenth century nobleman who's struggling to stay in power as head of his family, without becoming as morally corrupt as the rest of them. They're currently filming a scene regarding a subplot where Sirius’ character has feelings for someone who's only second in line of a struggling family.

“Lupin, you're frowning,” McGonagall says. “Give me your thoughts.”

“It just…” Remus begins, trying to voice his thoughts. “Seems a little far-fetched that someone without money or social status could catch the eye of someone like Sirius’ character.”

McGonagall opens her mouth to respond, but Sirius is first.

“Why on earth would my character be concerned with money or social status when it comes to how he feels about someone?”

“They have nothing to offer him!” Remus says. “And I just don't think your character should ignore that!”

“He's not ignoring it,” Sirius counters. “It just doesn't matter to him.”

“But those things do matter,” Remus insists. “Pretending they don't would be naive, and naivety goes against everything your character stands for.”

“My character also stands for persuasiveness and going after what he wants despite the obstacles, and that includes the person he wants.”

“But he's also a man driven by ambition who's always thinking about his place within high society and never takes any unnecessary risks when it comes to everything he has achieved!”

“He can be all that when it comes to business, but still follow his heart in other matters.”

“His heart?” Remus asks.

“Yes,” Sirius says defiantly. “His heart. His brain is undoubtedly telling him all about the world of differences between them, and how difficult this is going to be, but in these matters, he listens to his heart.”

Remus shakes his head. “How can he be so sure what his heart wants after such a short time?”

“There's a connection between them, a connection you don't find often,” Sirius says. “Surely you must see that?”

“I do,” Remus admits. “But what remains if that fades?”

“It won't just fade,” Sirius says confidently.

"But how do you know that?” Remus asks almost desperately.

“Because I love you!”

A silence falls.

“He,” Sirius stammers. “He loves…”

“Maybe it's time for a break,” McGonagall says, looking from Remus to Sirius.

The set empties, until it's just Remus and Sirius left.

Remus says nothing, but just gets up and walks over to Sirius, until he's standing right in front of him, searching his eyes for the confirmation of his words.

“Do you really not want to give us a chance?” Sirius asks hoarsely.

Remus opens his mouth, but then closes it again and he can't help but laugh. Remus places his hand on Sirius’ cheek. “I was an idiot for thinking I could fight this,” he says. “But I still think you're going to break my heart.”

Sirius covers Remus’ hand with his own. “And I still think I can prove you wrong.”

Remus never expected he would ever want to be wrong so bad.

[sunrisecaminus]

Hello ! Can I request Optimus or Starscream with a reader who has self-doubt and struggles with validation (maybe work/academic related if thats ok)? (Fluff/comfort)

Message - Ok Optimus wasn't hard, because he is a sweetie pie, but omg Starscream was so funny to write for because I always saw him as the type to think of self-doubt as weak and is not good with comforting. Hopefully this was good enough, but I liked this a lot!

Optimus and Starscream x Reader Headcanons

Summary - Headcanons of human reader being comforted by Optimus and Starscream when they have self-doubts.

Type of Headcanons - Comfort/Fluff

Optimus

~ This man was kind of the same as you in a way and never wanted to let you go through his problems as well.

~ Whenever he gives you something important, he notices a lot when you are nervously telling yourself not to fuck it up…Yeah he is going to work on you.

~ Optimus would tell you a lot that you can work while playing music, which helped him a lot before the war with being an archivist.

~ Now he is embarrassed on spilling his music choices to you, because you have no idea what the Cybertronian music sounds like and might talk to Ratchet later to find out. He will never let you listen to his old favorite music playlist.

~ Optimus will compliment you on your work whenever you are done, which in turn makes you flustered and say "noooooo" a lot. He finds it adorable and when you guys are alone, shower you with kisses and words of affection to hear more of your constant whining.

~ You have no idea why, but being on his shoulders while working on something helps you be more confident. Either the matrix is giving you support, or being on something tall helps you feel like you are on top of the world.

~ He understands your feelings whenever you feel as though you are not good enough for the other Autobots.

~ "You are just as important to the team as everyone else…maybe more."

~ The one thing you both love to do when you are not having a good time with your confidence is to walk around in nature. It doesn't have to be green tree and beautiful skies though, both of you drive to the middle of the desert and walk around. No cities, trees, or people. Just you, the sand, and Optimus taking one slow step at a time because how small you are.

~ You both talk about funny stories, trying to keep your mind off a project you got a low grade on.

~ "Why don't I take you back? You can sleep with me for the night?"

Starscream

~ I am so sorry, but this man is so aggressive with his compliments.

~ He has no idea why you think this way and insults you, making it worse XD

~ "Why do you think such low things about you? What? Is your stupid human brain not working?"

~ After explaining to him why you think those thoughts, that was when he took your problems personally.

~ If you had these thoughts because of a bad childhood, this man would honestly ask where this bad person lives to blow up the house.

~ If you had depression or another mental health issue, he would help by taking you to Knockout and have a fun movie night.

~ If you just wanted to get your mind off of your self doubt, there are two things this man could do.

~ Either he would distract you by talking about his life before the war and what went on.

~ Or he would take you flying. Better get use to the g-force, because he does loops and twists a lot.

~ He would compliment you on your achievements, even if they were small. You could do the laundry for yourself and he would call you his best sweetspark in the universe and congratulate you on finding your strengths.

~ Ok this may seem a bit dark, but he would defend you from Megatron…even if it costs him a wing and an arm. Megs is probably one of the many reasons you feel down.

~ He would love to dance with you from time to time. Turning on elegant music and twirling you around with his fingers.

~ "You are wonderful darling, don't let some useless slag get to you."

[consistently-panicked]

Ok hold on. Now I don’t disagree with your take. Jess is 100% given way more shit than he deserves by people. He’s a heavily traumatized teenager and a lot of his actions stem from that. He reacts based on how he feels in the moment and very little logic (which, again, he’s a teenager. This is very normal).

BUT, he did way more than outlining a body in chalk outside of Doose’s to get the “bad boy” reputation. He stole from Babette (Pierpon, gorgeous), he attempted to steal the beer from Lorelai, he stole Rory’s bracelet (yes he found it after it had fallen off, but he still took it and didn’t return it until much later), he got in fights at school (whether Chuck Presby deserved to be punched is besides the point, to a small town like Stars Hollow fighting would absolutely have people thinking you’re a “problem child”), he skipped school constantly (same situation as the fighting. People should’ve been asking him why he was skipping school and tried to help him feel more engaged and actually care about his education. Whether he would’ve accepted the help is another question, but he was a child and most of the adults in his life fundamentally failed him).

And now, for the biggest example of Jess being the bad boy, and honestly that’s not even the way I’d phrase it because in this moment he’s really just acting like a bad person. Season 3, Episode 19. Oh boy. Consent wise, the scene from the party is extremely dubious. Rory is very clearly uncomfortable and she is verbally expressing this. But Jess continues. In my opinion, the whole scene feels very coercion/ manipulation esque. Him continuing to pursue Rory in this moment doesn’t stop until she physically removes herself from the room. It’s an incredibly uncomfortable scene to watch and it’s because of Jess’ gross actions. Of course, we don’t know how many people in Stars Hollow’s know about what happened, but there were many people who witnessed him and Dean fighting afterwards and considering what a small town it is, I’m sure at least part of the story was known.

So listen. I think the people of Stars Hollow’s judged him way too harshly way too quickly and more often than not, his actions were not those of a bad boy, but those of an angry and traumatized teenager who needed HELP. But there were also quite a few instances where his choices affected others negatively, and whether you’re traumatized or a teenager it’s important to recognize that your choices affect others. And, of course, nothing excuses the way he acted at that party and I hope that at some point he apologized to Rory and really took a step back to evaluate his actions. It’s the least he could do.

(Now, I didn’t bring anything up about the whole car situation and there’s a reason. I think that is a huge example of the town just blaming him because it was easy and convenient to pin it on the kid no one liked, the bad boy. Even though it was Rory’s fault and she tried to tell everyone as much.)

Sorry for the long ramble, this show has been my most prominent hyperfixation for years, so I have a LOT of thoughts about it and the characters.

Jess’s ‘bad boy’ label to me is so, so funny. He is constantly reading, works two jobs, saved enough money to buy a car—but he’s the ultimate bad boy in the town’s eyes. Let’s be clear, the most ‘rebellious’ thing he did was the chalk outline outside Doose’s. Boy did magic tricks for his crush, why is he labeled a bad boy? 😭

[apparitionism]

Court

Happy @b-and-w-holiday-gift-exchange , @amtrak12 ! What I have for you is the start of a story—it would have been a more lengthy start, but work and other concerns perfect-stormed me into an unanticipated time crunch. Excuses, excuses... I know, and I regret it. However! What I don’t regret at all is how your many great ideas inspired me; you’ll see which of those I began with (tweaked a bit!), and as this gift keeps on giving, you’ll find I worked in several other possibilities as well. Here’s hoping they combine into a whole that—over time—brings you some moments of enjoyment. (Many thanks to @kla1991 , of course, for the continued heroic herding of the fandom cats.)

Court

Breakfast, Myka has lately decided, or determined, or realized, is her favorite meal of the day. The reason is not that there is lately a new person at the breakfast table, but rather...

Okay. Yes. That is the reason.

Every morning, she waits for the reason to appear, here at breakfast, to remind her: of importance, of why it (she) is her favorite. Today begins the second week of this lovely new ritual—an anniversary of sorts, one she would like to be cherishing (H.G. Wells, Agent Wells, Helena Wells, at the breakfast table every morning for two weeks!)—but instead, she is being assailed by Pete’s distracting habit of pawing through the box of Lucky Charms, extracting the marshmallows, tossing them into the air (up through which they ascend, and down through which they tumble, in seeming slow motion), and catching them on his tongue like purposeless candy snowflakes. Or not catching them, at which point he scrabbles for them on the floor.

It’s viscerally offensive. Why doesn’t Leena tell him to stop it?

Oh. Leena isn’t here. Why isn’t—

But then Myka is again distracted, and even more viscerally offended, when Artie huffs in and declares, “I need lawyers.”

“You’re being sued for excessive curmudgeonation,” Claudia says with a sigh. “Had to happen someday.”

“I’m surprised we don’t have any,” Myka says, pretending that she can ignore what she’s waiting for.

Pete misses another marshmallow. “We’ve got a doctor but no lawyers?” he asks from under the table.

Claudia raps on it, right above his head. “We’ve got no accountants either, big guy, but I never saw anybody get surprised about that.”

“A blue moon!” he exclaims as he emerges, popping it into his mouth. “Because Artie’s worse than any accountant. Plus everybody thinks we’re accountants on account of being IRS.”

“I heard what you did there,” Claudia says.

Artie snorts. “Everyone did, unfortunately. But you’ve managed to bring me to my point.”

“Score!” Pete enthuses. “Maybe.”

“Thinking,” Artie says.

Pete deflates. “Aaaand I’m out. I don’t really do that.”

“Noted,” Artie says, looking over his glasses. “And you are out. This assignment requires making people think you’re a lawyer.”

“Mykes, I bet you’re up,” Pete says.

“I was pre-law,” Myka says, but with an internal I say things like this too often twinge.

“Two lawyers,” Artie continues.

Pete deflates again. “Aaaand you’re down. Even you can’t be two lawyers.”

“Agent Wells,” Artie then says. Music, that title and name are, which is certainly more than Myka would normally think of any words Artie utters.

Pete, however, gapes: “She can?”

With exquisite, yet hardly surprising, timing, Helena sweeps in. “Of course I can.” To Claudia, she asides, “What am I claiming the ability to do?”

Myka wishes she were the one Helena would so casually tap on the shoulder for a sidebar. Speaking of lawyers.

“Be two lawyers at once,” Claudia says.

Helena shrugs. “Haven’t tried. Certainly willing to.”

“Maybe you can be yourself and your evil twin,” Claudia proposes, which wins her an interested blink, plus raise of chin, from Helena.

Artie harrumphs at Claudia. “Don’t give her ideas.” Then he makes the same noise in Helena’s direction. “Though I don’t see how we’d tell one from the other.”

Helena’s face takes on an aspect with which Myka is thrillingly familiar, a “try me” challenge; it is the expression she wore—the memory flashes to life in Myka’s head—as she stepped close, closer, closest to Myka in that office in Tamalpais, and for the briefest instant, re-breathing Helena’s breath as her own, Myka loses the present plot...

...which she knows because when her hearing retunes, Pete is saying, “Aha. How do you gay-run-tee a win?”

Helena says, “Play both sides.”

They nod knowingly at each other. Myka seethes with jealousy at their consonance.

“Nevertheless,” Helena says, “couldn’t we simply steal it?”

Myka doesn’t know what “it” is, but she’ll infer, she’ll get back on board; she just needs to make sure she doesn’t blink out into some Helena-inspired reverie again.

“That’s the evil twin talking,” Claudia says, “because you’d end up in court for a whole different reason than ‘I’ve got the legal right to this artifact!’ Myka versus ‘No, I do!’ H.G.”

“We do try to avoid running afoul of the law,” Artie mumbles.

“That’s new,” Helena says.

“To you,” Artie snarks.

Myka always wants to step in; never knows how. Everything with Artie and Helena, speaking of sides, is double-dutch... which, honestly, Myka knows nothing about except as metaphor. She tries, “But we aren’t actually lawyers. And I’m pretty sure that runs afoul of the law.”

“Save your objections for court,” Artie says, ignoring the contradiction.

It’s what Myka would have wished him to say, so she admonishes herself about gift horses, trying to push the concern from her mind.

And then she forgets to try, for Helena catches her gaze, assessing then smiling, sly, then saying a single, satiny word: “Adversaries...”

The syllables envelop Myka as if embroiling her, paradoxically, in a conspiracy.

She hadn’t thought of the situation that way, but suddenly she sees it sees it sees it—then she sees it further, sees herself and Helena free of the Warehouse, if only for the length of a trial, if only in the space of a court, existing as adversaries with stakes high but not mortal... it’s an arena in which she might fight Helena and win... or at least play to a draw, for Myka knows she is good with precedent, with bringing the previous to bear on the present... then again, applying the volumes of information always available to her can be laborious—and Helena is, among other things, quick. Objection! Myka can hear her saying, feel her leaping to say, in response to some carefully crafted question from Myka. And the judge, any judge, would be captivated, would ignore Myka’s ensuing sputter entirely, would sigh “sustained,” chin in hand, gazing.

Myka considers casting herself as the judge, rather than as the now-hapless adversary. “In my chambers, Miss Wells,” she could order. Order! (In the court!)

She clicks back in as Claudia looks from Helena to her, back to Helena, back to her, tennis match–style. “Sparks are gonna fly,” Claudia pronounces, like it’s Solomonic wisdom... and maybe it is.

This, Myka thinks—printed in words, a silent-film intertitle in her head, each word appearing as she ideates it—is going to be fantastic.

TBC

Preview of coming attractions:

Pete to Myka: Are you wearing makeup?

Myka, exasperated: I’m going to court.

Pete: Who? The judge?

Myka: What?

Pete: And you’re the word nerd... but seriously, do they judge on hotness now?

Helena, who walks in looking like a dream: I certainly hope so. [She looks Myka over.] At the very least, I relish the competition.

[a-friendly-fangirl]

"I Can't Hear It Now" is a CaitVi song (and I can prove it)

Ok, I know how this might sound, like I'm trying to make everything CaitVi related and I have no respect for Cait's loss and her feelings.

I promise though, that this might actually make sense... and if it does, then it's gonna be heartbreaking.

FIrst of all, I'd like to say that Freya Ridings' "I Can't Hear It Now" has been my favourite song since the very beginning of Arcane's second season, shattering my soul in enough pieces to make a challenging puzzle. The words and the way they're sung are heartfelt and moving, taking us through the kaleidoscope of feelings Cait experiences during her mother's funeral.

I'm a sucker for good music adding meaning to a show and its scenes and Arcane is exactly the kind of show that'd do that, so I've been eager to fully explore each song in the show's context, starting with this one.

When I first listened to it, I immediately thought that it was Caitlyn pleading Cassandra for guidance through her grief and her sense of guilt, because, as Cait herself admits, her mother left a huge hole in Piltover's political scene and in her own family and she has no clue as to how deal with it.

"Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning" seemed to me as something one would ask to their parent, were they a person with an important political role, having to constantly keep up appearances. Caitlyn, young and in mourning as she is after her mother's death, is also left alone to face publicly the loss, because her father is clearly in no condition to do that and she doesn't know what she's supposed to do to be a good replacement for both of her parents. I think everyone would understand, if she were to pray her deceased mother for help.

With time, though, I started rethinking my whole interpretation, because a few elements seemed off. Two are the ones that matter the most:

To be a song about a Piltovan dealing with grief by conversing with her lost one, it would've been weirdly spiritual. Although I don't know much about the city's lore, a quick research clarified that Piltover doesn't seem to have an official religion or religious belief and, in my experience, talking to a deceased person and asking them for guidance is something deeply rooted in spirituality and religion. Of course, when mourning everyone can talk to their lost ones as a form of coping mechanism, but in the song it is explicitly stated that the person Caitlyn is talking to can see her (Where you watch while these dreams gently float away), which is something we never hear from her. Caitlyn, actually, believes exactly on the contrary, which is that her mother has left a duty she doesn't know how to fulfill and she can't turn to her to find her way; in fact, she never appeals to Cassandra in any fashion. She remembers her, probably wonders whether she's proud of her or not, but she never reaches out to her directly. Long story short, then, the lyrics seem directed more to a living person than to a dead one;

Some lines simply don't apply to Cassandra. Look, I know I shouldn't take every word literally, but here some things wouldn't make any sense anyway. Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me doesn't appear to me as a line I could ever imagine Cait addressing to her mother. Cassandra, even though she wasn't a terrible mother, was still an estimated Councillor and head of one of Piltover's richest and strongest families. She raised her daughter hoping some day she'd take over and sit proudly on her seat at the Council table. Caitlyn was educated as an aristocrat without wanting to be one ("I know you doubt the merit of your birthright, Caitlyn"), which sparked several arguments between them. Cassandra, despite loving her daughter, could never fully accept or understand her and her upbringing and position probably made everything worse. In other terms, Cassandra wasn't probably the kind of mum that'd sing Caitlyn lullabies. Also, again, the verb is conjugated in the present tense, as if the person addressed in the song was still alive. Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning sounded pretty odd to me as well. While it is undoubtly true that Cassandra was probably a professional pretender because of her social position, what Caitlyn is asking for is something much deeper: she's asking to be pulled out from a black hole of sorrow and hatred. It takes experience to put on a good poker face when given such a challenge and, even if we don't know much about Cassandra herself, I could guess that she'd have lacked that sort of knowledge.

Going briefly back to the funeral scene, we can all recall that, while Cassandra and Caitlyn were both in colour, there was also another character highlighted as the heart of that moment: Vi. Vi, who, as it is made perfectly clear through the whole second season, is Caitlyn's anchor. She's the person she relies on the most, starting a war to save her father and letting go of the person she despises the most for her. She goes through her plan with her, asking her what Jinx's fate should be. Vi's the person she turns to when she feels like breaking down instead of her own dad. In other words, in such a desperate moment, if Caitlyn needed someone to talk to, she'd go to Vi.

And that's when the song starts making even more sense:

. There is an ocean so dark down below the waves/ Where you watch while these dreams gently float away: while Caitlyn's saying goodbye to her mother, Vi... watches. Almost like a worried guardian, she keeps her distance while empathising with her girl's feelings, literally watching while their dreams of peace, love and freedom leave with the coffin;

. And there is a silence so soft it's only memory/ Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me: this is such a CaitVi thing to me. Do you remember the wind chimes scene? Her thought of Jinx makes the wind grow furious just like her, while the thought of Vi calms her down. When Cait is tormented by the terrifying noise of Jinx's laughter breaking the silence, Vi comes in and restores it. It's no accident that the only music we can hear in the end is Vi's singing, a soft humming;

. But I can't hear it now/ Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning: to enjoy silence and not feel suffocated by it, your mind must be at peace. At the very beginning of the season, Cait's isn't. Her anger, her sense of guilt scream loud enough to drown Vi's voice. Still, Caitlyn turns to her, because Vi's the only person in her life that knows what she's going through. In fact, when Caitlyn's losing it, because she has no idea of how to fill the hole left by Cassandra, it is Vi that replies: "It gets smaller, but you never fill it".

So here it is, I rest my case.

[applecidershauna]

Inaccuracy in Yellowjackets – Lazy Writing or Intentional?

Lately, I’ve seen so many posts complaining about inaccuracies in Yellowjackets—more than ever. Why do they keep adding characters? How did they build their little village after losing everything in the cabin fire? What were the lanterns even made of?

Personally, I can live with minor mistakes or unexplained things if they move the plot forward or add something cool, but I’ve seen people justify them with another theory: that the teen timeline is unreliable because the characters have repressed or forgotten details about their time in the wilderness. This usually comes up when people talk about background girls suddenly appearing or getting bigger roles.

And while I get why that’s an interesting theory… I don’t buy it. Let’s talk!

Season 3: The Village and the Outfits

One big issue people seem to have this season is the matching outfits and hoods the girls are wearing. But honestly? I don’t think that’s unrealistic at all. You’re telling me none of them knew how to sew? Please. We already know they have assigned roles—some cook, some hunt, so why wouldn’t someone be in charge of making clothes? They clearly share skills and teach each other, too.

As for the materials, I’ve seen theories that the hoods are made from plane seats, and yeah, I totally see it! Super smart catch. Also, people forget how much time these girls have. Like, they are out there bored. Making clothes is probably something they enjoy or at least a way to stay busy.

The village itself? Honestly looks pretty realistic to me. Those stick-and-grass shelters make sense, and building shelter is literally a basic human survival instinct. Considering Tai was mentioned as being involved, it makes even more sense.

The lanterns from the solstice scene? If you look closely, you can see writing on them. So they could be made from schoolbooks, but I think they were probably from plane manuals or something like that. Oh, and the ducks and rabbits? Adorable. Completely believable. Moving on.

The “Suddenly Appearing” Background Girls

I’m not getting into recasting—that’s not intentional, that’s just what happens when actors have scheduling conflicts. But let’s be real: no one is actually appearing out of nowhere. People have already pointed out that during the funeral scene in the pilot, there were way more survivors than the ones we focused on. That’s just how background characters work. If they’re not important yet or don’t have lines, they won’t always be shown. Simple as that.

Some girls just weren’t as central at first and became more important over time—like Melissa, for example. Shauna even says in S3E2 that she didn’t realize Melissa had a personality, which basically confirms that she (and probably the other core girls) weren’t paying attention to everyone equally. They weren’t all besties from day one.

And let’s not forget: Yellowjackets, like every other show, has main characters—Natalie, Shauna, Lottie, Misty, Tai, and Van. The story is built around them. That’s just how TV works.

The “Unreliable Memory” Theory

The biggest reason I don’t buy the “trauma repressed memory” theory? I have zero reason to believe that what I’m seeing on screen isn’t the truth.

Yes, the teen timeline is often tied to the adult timeline, but the adults aren’t narrating it. Not all the time, at least. Sure, I believe they’ve repressed things or forgotten details, but this is still a TV show. If something happened, we see it. If the show wanted us to question the reality of what went down, they wouldn’t have shown things like Doomcoming, eating Jackie, or Javi’s death so directly.

And don’t even get me started on the “supernatural” events—the bear, Laura Lee’s plane crash, all of it. If anyone wants to talk about that, I will go off, but for now, I fully believe it’s all real.

[personontheswing]

okay so as an american in order

yes, the cheifs is definitly a racist name. here's a wiki link on the controversy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kansas_City_Chiefs_name_controversy

i don't know shit about football so that might need to be fact checked but one of the super important people in american football teams. Often the 'leader' or 'best person' on the team, super well known. google tells me the quarter back usually calls out the plays and such, so a pretty important position!

taylor swift is dating this dude called Travis Kelce, who plays for the cheifs. people keep saying they're going to break up but for now they seem fine. no she doesn't dump people because they're problematic (i think?) and frankly i'm of the opinion that her dating life should be none of my buisness.

the chop's a tomahawk chop and is racist. the link about the controversy has a video if you want to see it but basically a dude bangs a drum and people extend their arm back and forth in a wave. the 'chop' is in line with the upper arm and is not a nazi salute, which was my first thought. it's a native american thing orignally.

so GRITTY. I love gritty. He's the mascot of a philly ice hockey team called the Philadelphia Flyers. He's pretty awesome. he's sometimes seen as a leftist icon of sorts, which does have some basis - he's known to be waving a variety of queer flags, wore a facesheild during covid etc.

the football team the cheifs lost to was the eagles and they are ALSO in philly.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gritty

yeah he's definitly the only hero of the story here

for the non-Americans who are very confused right now:

Everyone hates The Chiefs this year because it's quarterback Patrick Mahomes is low-key MAGA and the orange pestilence is in attendance in the game. And the racist ass "chop" their fans do. and that Traves Kelce said it would be "an honor" to host the orange pestilence at the game.

and now they're fucking losing and Taylor is going to DUMP him and join Kendrick in writing an absolutely devastating breakup anthem.

[not-poignant]

Hi,

I'm not sure how to approach this without sounding like an ignorant asshole, but I'll give it a go.

I'm from a country where the Trans movement isn’t very visible, and most of what I know about it comes from the internet. I’ve never truly understood gender dysphoria. I’ve tried to listen and put myself in others' shoes, but I struggled to be genuinely empathetic. Instead, I just tried to be supportive because it was expected of me, without really getting it.

It might sound silly, but reading Underline the Black made me stop and think… Wait, is this what I think it is? Reading Efnisien’s internal monologues and introspection made me feel something—maybe not from the same circumstances, but in a way that something inside my brain clicked, and I finally saw where the pain was coming from.

I guess what I really want to say is thank you. Thank you for helping me begin to understand and for broadening my perspective. It might sound small, but it’s something I deeply appreciate. I’ve been trying for a long time.

I do feel a bit foolish realizing that it took an ABO fanfic for me to get it… but at the same time, I was also reading about your real-life experiences. Or at least, that’s how it seemed to me. Forgive me if I’m wrong.

You have an incredible talent for expression.

Anon, until you know otherwise, everyone has to start somewhere. This applies to unlearning our biases and prejudices, which we all have for something, or many things, until we unlearn them. The fact that you've even tried to be supportive of something you don't really understand is still important, and still matters. It's a step into understanding, even if you don't have it yet.

I don't think it's foolish that it took you a story to realise what you've realised! This is actually exactly why representation of diversity (in gender, sexuality, culture, race, etc.) is so important in fiction. Because it's in fiction we can be free to explore concepts that are different to our own, or that challenge us, or make us see the world differently. This is why it's so important to know it's possible to identify with a trans character, or a POC character, or a character from a different culture to ours etc. Because that's when we humanise what we previously saw as like, different, Other, hard to understand. We go 'oh that's...really relatable actually, I think I'd feel the same way if that was my experience of life' or 'I don't know if I'd feel the same way but I really understand where that person is coming from.'

Gender dysphoria is complex, and different for different people. Being able to write it metaphorically through Efnisien's journey has been really interesting for me personally, because I've been able to depict both the inner conflict of knowing that your being is not...automatically going to be accepted as normal no matter what, unless you stifle or suffocate yourself, alongside the true euphoria and joy that can come with living as your best life, or your very self.

I have once seen a good analogy which is simply: Imagine from tomorrow onwards, everyone uses the pronouns you don't associate with yourself. You are bullied and mocked unless you wear clothing that is opposite to how you want to appear to others. You are put down and treated as psychologically abnormal for finding joy in true expression, even when that expression doesn't actually hurt anyone else at all. And now tell yourself that even your loved ones, when you desperately try to explain how wrong it all feels to be treated as so different to your true self, they explain that it's just mental illness, or that you're just confused, or that you don't understand yourself, and condescend to you, and treat you like they somehow have always known you better than you know yourself. And that's when you realise you might have to choose between your true self, and your family and loved ones who don't understand, or worse, hate you.

And then imagine that's the rest of your life, but it could change in an instant, if all of society just accepted that you are who you say you are! That all of your depression, and oppression, and suffocation could literally just vanish, if everyone was like 'oh sure actually, you want those pronouns? Cool! You want to wear this clothing? I like it!!'

And that journey is very tough in the real world, even in more accepting places (the US is clear evidence of this). In Underline the Black, I get to put Efnisien in a very specific space, and show the journey in a kind of specific way that isolates it and speaks through metaphor.

My experiences are different to Efnisien's, though I am trans, I never actually started out wanting to write a 1:1 trans narrative. Like, in this universe, "conventionally" trans people exist too. Efnisien's experience is a new thing, and a separate thing, but still - as we can see - a very good metaphor as well. I like telling parts of my story, but only small parts. I am more interested in...telling healing stories where I can watch a character heal and go 'oh I would like more of that for myself, as well.'

(Also, it's better to just say omegaverse, or AOB, etc. because a/b/o without the dashes is a slur in Australia, and while I know most people don't live here! We try to avoid slurs from other countries when we can. And we can only know to do that once someone tells us!)

But yeah, no, you don't sound like an ignorant asshole at all. You sound like someone who has learned something, and has gained more understanding, and was open to doing that, and honestly anon if more people came to something they didn't understand from your perspective, acceptance and love would be a lot easier to teach people.

It's so important to read stories about characters who aren't quite like us, or aren't like us at all, because that's when we realise just how much we actually do share so many similarities, and why our differences matter too.

Anyway thank you for sharing your message with me! I really appreciated it.

[urinarythreatinfection]

As a Shanks fan I need you to stop tagging your posts and making us look bad. The more you write the more clear it is this is a bad faith reading, bashing while not understanding the writing. Your only precedent on examining these characters is based on stacking morality points on how nice and good they are, rather than their roles in the plot and their thematic relevance as narrative foils, their longstanding history and familiarity, the continued relevance of their intertwined journeys and emotional energy in the story. You seem set on seeing them as abusive when that’s clearly not what Oda means, their character dynamics play a role in telling the story and I assure you it’s not a message of abuse. But of course, there are fans who think Nami hitting the Strawhats is abusive so I shouldn’t be surprised. You can’t even seem to reflect on your own self and realize your own views are infinitely more toxic.

So Buggy left when they were both 15 and traumatized and somehow thats the most unacceptable thing. Yeah, whatever, hate them for petty things, but don’t act like you have some superior understanding when it’s just the most typically shallow reading. Your dislike is your own, but policing others because you lack the ability to comprehend is not okay.

Is this apologizing business really some big thing to cry over? Shanks wanted Buggy to come with him, Buggy turned him down. They were ex-comrades and pirates, obviously Buggy was free to leave and start his own pirate crew, Shanks even said they both should. Many of Buggy’s complaints are just petty things Shanks probably doesn’t even care that much about. But to Buggy it does matter so he cares more about getting closure from that time. Shanks doesn’t even care about the fruit or the map, he’s just glad to see Buggy again. They might fight but ultimately Shanks cares more about Buggy than any petty grudge and is more likely to forgive and apologize for little things, even just jokingly or to appease him, because it’s not a big deal for him to do it. To Shanks, friends are what’s important, so words and actions needed for his friend are a small thing. Villainizing Buggy and resenting his rejection is probably the last thing Shanks would want in that situation. He’s not gonna be a spiteful victim because someone got mad and left of their own free will. He’d rather be a loser who apologizes and begs for his friend.

The whole issue with ‘apologizing’…it’s not a big deal. A lot of times it seems to be treated as a joke. The treasure map is supposed to be seen as a stupid reason not worth getting up in arms about. Buggy being mad over the treasure map is treated as a joke and an excuse as a way to cover up that he really cares about Shanks. But this whole thing just seems like you’re mad when Shanks simps for Buggy and Buggy acts like he typically would. How is it hard to believe that Buggy is important to Shanks and Shanks would express that to him? Are you really so caught up on just hating on Buggy’s personality and him being a regular pirate you can’t stand him being treated like someone important? He’s one of the Four Emperors going after the One Piece and you don’t think his desires and feelings have some significance?

Buggy may have left, but that was all within his rights to do so, even the other Roger Pirates left these kids. For the current Buggy to apologize he’d probably struggle to get over his feelings, but to Shanks why get hung up over petty grievances if it’s for a friend? That’s just their personalities. Sure, Buggy could apologize, but it’s just not like him, and it’s not even that necessary anyways. Obviously knowing Buggy’s character he gets overdramatic and too emotionally invested he can’t let things go, while Shanks will let go of things because he cares. Luffy too learns to forgive and let things go, it’s one of the things he learned from Shanks. We get hit on the head so many times by this kind of message. When Luffy happily bows down and passes up on the opportunity to leave Amazon Lily just so he can save a few people he just met…there’s nothing wrong with giving in and bowing down when it’s not worth it otherwise.

Shanks couldn’t communicate his real reasons and wanted Buggy to join him but got rejected, so as the Captain who was rejected by Buggy who was willing to be part of his crew, it seems like Shanks was the one who lost out. Of course Shanks longs for his friend and would care for him. Luffy would also chase someone if it was his friend. This isn’t an abuser and victim relationship, it doesn’t matter who was wrong because there was never any actual communication. We don’t even know Shanks’ perspective and his reasons, only Buggy’s, so we just see they had their differences and Buggy felt disappointed. They wanted to prioritize different things because that’s how they’ve always been as pirates, not because one is an abuser, they are grown men who used to argue a lot.

If Shanks wanted to truly protect Luffy he would’ve done something like actually reach out to him and communicate to him. Shanks knew the risks when he encouraged Luffy to be a pirate and return his hat. He knew Luffy would be in danger especially with his fruit. That’s how it is in the pirate world, you can’t make it if you don’t put your life on the line and fight others. Luffy had to survive and overcome that if he wanted to get anywhere near the New World, Shanks knew that. He knew people would try to kill Luffy, that’s how the pirate world is, but Luffy would never become strong if he didn’t experience that. Anyways, Buggy is obviously supposed to be a tame joke villain. He didn’t even kill the villagers in Orange Town, the villagers evacuated to a shelter beforehand and he just raids the houses and blows them up.

I think you have this image of Shanks as this delicate abuse victim and Saint-like Christ figure (ironic) when he’s just a pirate who knows he and others have had to make sacrifices. All I can say is, you really think that? Okay, can’t help you there. 

You just seem to really hate Buggy and refuse to accept any positive take on Buggy. You even hate him for harmless things he did as a literal child. You want Buggy to be portrayed as trash and dirt compared to Shanks, but in a ship where fans love both characters and Shanks cherishes Buggy that’s obviously not going to happen. It’s clear that you’re biased so you can’t reasonably have a good take on this, all you do is victimize Shanks. How hypocritical that you complain about others having no insight when you’re way worse.

There’s so much stuff about Shanks fandom to criticize but the fact that you fixate on Shanks caring about Buggy as the worst thing, that’s just mindless hate you shouldn’t be tagging. The best understanding of Shanks I‘ve seen was from shuggy fans, I’m gonna trust them from now on.

Also are you seriously trying to compare your petty hate of a fictional character to speaking out about the literal atrocities done by colonizers of America? Please think before you speak.

Okay im tired of explaining this just as is so im just gonna take bullet points and say my piece and thats it because ive made two posts now explaining as best as I can and still somehow its being misunderstood as me being some sort of toxic Shanks fan thats making them look bad for some reason. This is literally me analyzing him and showing the problems of Shuggy people don't want to accept.

"The more you write the more clear it is this is a bad faith reading, bashing while not understanding the writing." Im not saying this in bad faith. That is why i tagged it as Shuggy. Not for some sort of ragebait or to spew hate i just really want the dynamic of angst fix-it stuff to change or atleast be more popular. And again, I understand the writing perfectly well. I'm rereading the manga and literally have not just been saying whats on the top of my head im looking into it.

"Your only precedent on examining these characters is based on stacking morality points on how nice and good they are, rather than their roles in the plot and their thematic relevance as narrative foils, their longstanding history and familiarity, the continued relevance of their intertwined journeys and emotional energy in the story." If this is how even if Buggy is bad it means they can still be together because they work well i literally agree its the dynamic. I cannot stress this enough i don't know how this isn't going through.

"You seem set on seeing them as abusive when that’s clearly not what Oda means, their character dynamics play a role in telling the story and I assure you it’s not a message of abuse." Oda has included abuse, suicide, addictions in his story and you really think he wouldnt sprinkle in the fact that Buggy was an abusive friend. Im not even saying he 100% was i said at worst. An abusive friendship is different than one thats a relationship too, and again i said at worst.

"But of course, there are fans who think Nami hitting the Strawhats is abusive so I shouldn’t be surprised." What she does was objectively bad, and she's toned it down a LOT post timeskip. Part of her character development that now you can safely say when she hits they either kinda deserve it or she doesn't really go rough with it.

"So Buggy left when they were both 15 and traumatized and somehow thats the most unacceptable thing. Yeah, whatever, hate them for petty things, but don’t act like you have some superior understanding when it’s just the most typically shallow reading. Your dislike is your own, but policing others because you lack the ability to comprehend is not okay." I never said it was the most unacceptable thing, i meant it was the most shitty thing he could do. You mentioned somewhere elsr they were 15, which is true, but as time goes by and Buggy doesnt change that excuse is out the window.

"Is this apologizing business really some big thing to cry over?" Its a major thing, and is something thats used for Shanks to Buggy that is seen as a major thing i dont know why im being posed as overly dramatic when i say it would be way better if it were buggy apologizing to Shanks.

"Shanks wanted Buggy to come with him, Buggy turned him down. They were ex-comrades and pirates, obviously Buggy was free to leave and start his own pirate crew, Shanks even said they both should." You're acting like Buggy turned Shanks down civily and it was not a decision of emotion.

"They might fight but ultimately Shanks cares more about Buggy than any petty grudge and is more likely to forgive and apologize for little things, even just jokingly or to appease him, because it’s not a big deal for him to do it. To Shanks, friends are what’s important, so words and actions needed for his friend are a small thing. Villainizing Buggy and resenting his rejection is probably the last thing Shanks would want in that situation. He’s not gonna be a spiteful victim because someone got mad and left of their own free will. He’d rather be a loser who apologizes and begs for his friend." And this is the problem! this! Just because Buggy cares more than Shanks doesn't mean that Shanks doesn't deserve to be atleast understood. Shanks would rather act like a loser to get Buggy than value himself is literally a toxic behavior for relationships. I beg of you to think of this in real life. Imagine Shanks as some chick and Buggy as the boyfriend and its very very clear that you just brushing it off as "oh well Shanks can handle it" sucks! It sucks! I've seen relationships like that and they suck! Its okay for comedy the same reason Nami's hitting is or Brook's panty loving is but when you're writing or drawing it seriously you can't just paint it as something okay when the reason why Shanks would put himself down for Buggy is because Shanks is mentally unwell! He deserves a Buggy that would actually treat him preciously instead of the now normalized "oh you're trash but ill forgive you I guess" Its not even a point of "oh well Shanks wouldn't mind!" You're right! But YOU should! Because you are the outsider looking in, the one that can look through an objectjve lens where you arent a dependent man that needs any sort of companion.

"He didn’t even kill the villagers in Orange Town, the villagers evacuated to a shelter beforehand and he just raids the houses and blows them up." This literally doesn't matter since Buggy has talked about killing before and I don't even think is true. There was a shelter because he just likely didn't kill all of them, but "just" some. And doing that is pretty bad in of itself.

"Buggy being mad over the treasure map is treated as a joke and an excuse as a way to cover up that he really cares about Shanks." Here with the "oh but Buggy's just a tsundere" If i never do anything for you ever because you made me drop my icecream 10 years ago does me being a tsundere just make it okay. This isn't even fully true. It's not a cover-up Buggy isn't just some little cute tsundere he holds malice. He IS mad about that still its not a cover up because oh well he still cares it can be both, and its mostly just actual anger. Because why else would he bring it up even when he doesn't have to cover up affection.

"Luffy too learns to forgive and let things go, it’s one of the things he learned from Shanks. We get hit on the head so many times by this kind of message" Letting go and liking the person is two seperate things. You're acting like Luffy is just some angel when he has also been shown again to really not like Buggy and some people. In impel down he doesn't want to rescue Buggy but ends up doing so so he can get to Ace "which buggy tries to betray" and in basically every instance where Buggy is brought up around Luffy Luffy has literally only bad things to say about Buggy so idk why you're acting like Luffy is some saint that would forgive anything. Im rereading impel down and he also didn't want to forgive Crocodile, he just needed the help, still doesn't like Crocodile too. Luffy shows dislike, its just not super loud, he shows it through not helping. He even only helped Hachi during pre ts only when Nami said it was okay. Shanks doesn't forgive everything either. The lesson Shanks taught Luffy wasn't "forgjve everyone". Thats what Luffy THOUGHT it was when he was a little kid. But thr actual lesson was just to be more mature, to be careful. To not fight at every chance because you could be endangering others. Difference between forgiving someone and just letting it not bother you so that you can use them, as Luffy has showed.

"Buggy may have left, but that was all within his rights to do so, even the other Roger Pirates left these kids." Rayleigh leaving Shanks was not a good thing for Rayleigh to do, especially since Rayleigh also knows whats going on, but he just left a 15 year old to just deal with it because he wanted to toughen the kid up or something idk, theres a lot of "just suck it up buttercup" in One Piece because thats what Oda thinks is cool and nice and manly, he isn't perfect. Also Buggy did have the right to leave, the problem is that he didn't leave because he wanted to start his own crew or find the one piece himself it was just because of the conflict between him and Shanks. It was not a clear decision.

"If Shanks wanted to truly protect Luffy he would’ve done something like actually reach out to him and communicate to him. Shanks knew the risks when he encouraged Luffy to be a pirate and return his hat. He knew Luffy would be in danger especially with his fruit. That’s how it is in the pirate world, you can’t make it if you don’t put your life on the line and fight others." I agree with this and I also feel it was the right thing to do unfortunately, s Luffy has a huge thing he needs to do even if he isn't aware of what he's doing. However, this is what Shanks chose, Buggy didn't go for Luffy because he wanted to toughen Luffy up he went for Luffy because he hates Luffy and his strawhat that reminds him of Shanks and the fact that he's also developing the same complex with Luffy that he was with Shanks, though not as strong since they aren't really together often.

"But this whole thing just seems like you’re mad when Shanks simps for Buggy and Buggy acts like he typically would. How is it hard to believe that Buggy is important to Shanks and Shanks would express that to him? Are you really so caught up on just hating on Buggy’s personality and him being a regular pirate you can’t stand him being treated like someone important? He’s one of the Four Emperors going after the One Piece and you don’t think his desires and feelings have some significance?" I don't know how you came to the conclusion this is what I think. Im not against Shanks simping for Buggy, I believe Shanks would be a simp in any relationship, this is more about how Buggy reacts in turn. Would be fine if it was just some shyness but its not. Buggy's harmful. I really don't know where i said I don't think Buggy is important. I just hate him as a person. As a character hes funny and a good character objectively and I think that he matters in the story I just don't like him as him. I'm not some person that wishes he would stay unimportant, i never said that. This is not about the story of One Piece this is about Shuggy.

"Shanks couldn’t communicate his real reasons and wanted Buggy to join him but got rejected, so as the Captain who was rejected by Buggy who was willing to be part of his crew, it seems like Shanks was the one who lost out. Of course Shanks longs for his friend and would care for him. Luffy would also chase someone if it was his friend." Would missing out on being a crewmember of a famous crew not be way more of a loss than not getting an already disloyal person as a subordinate. Shanks was important to Buggy too, I don't know why you're acting like Buggy is so precious in comparison to Shanks that its only Shanks that could miss out. Also, my friend, did you miss the ENTIRE ARC WHERE LUFFY LET GO OF A FRIEND BECAUSE HE WAS DISLOYAL!??? Did that just disappear in your mind?? The difference between Buggy and Usopp is that Usopp actually manned up and apologized in order to get on the crew. The entire point of the last scene was that if Usopp did not apologize they were actually going to leave him! Luffy is different from Shanks because Shanks would depend on someone toxic, atleast in the Shuggy that's normalized, while its canon that if a friend was truly toxic and a crewmember was bad that Luffy would leave. Cmon man! Why are you telling me I don't understand the story like I'm stupid when you just completely glossed over water 7 😭

"I think you have this image of Shanks as this delicate abuse victim and Saint-like Christ figure (ironic) when he’s just a pirate who knows he and others have had to make sacrifices. All I can say is, you really think that? Okay, can’t help you there." Its funny how you say ironic when it is ironic. Thats the point. That Shanks is a sacrifice. That is what Oda is alluding to with Shanks if not consiously than unconsious. I beg of you to think about it. A person that has sacrificed everything, their dreams, their friendship, their sanity, and even their limb, for a God of Freedom to help free the world. That is what Shanks is, a sacrifice for the greater good. Just like how they were trying to portray Robin's death/servitude in enies lobby as a sacrifice for the greater good. It is not "ironic" it is the point. It is not the first time Oda has pitted someone as a sacrifice for the greater good.

"You even hate him for harmless things he did as a literal child." Ah yes the harmless actions like creating an entire fake devil fruit to eat so that he can pocket the actual one and sell it for money to use to kickstart his own crew and find treasure on a map that he kept from the same crew that raised him with care and freedom. He didn't just do that on a whim, he planned that shit. It was only stopped by Shanks interruption. If not he would've straight up left the crew that raised him and done what he wanted. Im not saying him being a child doesn't constitute some slack but theres only so much slack you can give when it was so very clearly thought out on his end to betray.

"You want Buggy to be portrayed as trash and dirt compared to Shanks, but in a ship where fans love both characters and Shanks cherishes Buggy that’s obviously not going to happen. It’s clear that you’re biased so you can’t reasonably have a good take on this, all you do is victimize Shanks. How hypocritical that you complain about others having no insight when you’re way worse." ????? You can love both characters of a ship and admit that theyre bad. Crocodile shippers do it all the time. So do people who like all sorts of other villians. Kaido, Crocodile, Akainu, a lot. It really feels like Buggy is the only villian that people ship and use while pretending like he's not been truly horrible. Zosan shippers are more aware of the toxicity that could be between them, and use that as a story point and not something to just brush aside or even romantisize without some sort of angst thing where they know its toxic. And their dynamic isn't nearly as toxic as the normalized Shuggy one. It really feels like you have more bias than me since the plot points so far some of them have clear holes or are ignoring huge things. And again with the Shanks thinking, a toxic relationship can be toxic while the victim thinks everything is okay. A lot of bad relationships stay relationships because of that.

"There’s so much stuff about Shanks fandom to criticize but the fact that you fixate on Shanks caring about Buggy as the worst thing, that’s just mindless hate you shouldn’t be tagging. The best understanding of Shanks I‘ve seen was from shuggy fans, I’m gonna trust them from now on." No. The understanding of Shanks that YOU want is with Shuggy fans. Because when you're a Shuggy fan you get to just deny that anything is wrong with Shanks mentally and that he's just a handsome man that can swoon over his lover and not someone who has very clear faults and mental issues. You can just pretend like Shanks is completely clear of mind so you can use him as a little puzzle piece to fit into anything you want to add a "simp" factor to a ship. Because if you really wanted the "best" understanding of Shanks you'd accept the fact that he is not a completely alright person. He doesn't "brush off" things like they don't matter. They hurt. He just holds it in. With Uta he bit the bullet and left for her sake, but he held it in. When he lost his arm and Luffy despaired we never saw him do anything to show distress over his lost arm, because he held it in. The only time we ever notice that he does feel pain is when he's talking with whitebeard and confesses to the scar on his eye stinging, and surprise surprise, it wasn't to vent his emotions, it was just in attempt to save Ace. Not for himself. He was sad that he's missing an arm, because in the same scene he even says "the scar that hurts most/more is my eye" not "the one that hurts" showing that his arm does hurt. Because losing a dominant arm would hurt anyone. Especially when it lost him Mihawk, another relationship he sacrificed to save something or someone. Yet unlike Buggy Mihawk still is somewhat amicable to Shanks. Mature. Even if he isn't perfect either (ex: completely okay with dying by Zoro's hand and doesn't have any goals now that he achieved world's greatest swordsman. His only friend was Shanks who he left once he couldn't be a suitable rival, showing a dependence on what he knows as Shanks was likely the only one that he had in his life to teach him any sort of friendship).

"Also are you seriously trying to compare your petty hate of a fictional character to speaking out about the literal atrocities done by colonizers of America? Please think before you speak." What the hell did you want me to do. Clearly just saying what I mean isn't working, metaphors are what usually help people finally understand. Yet instead of seeing the metaphor i used you just focused on that it was a cruel one like the point of me using it wasn't to show the cruelness. What other metaphor did you want me to use. You need to learn that a metaphor =/= me saying its the same thing. You brought that up just to make me seem like im a mindless hater that brought up atrocities for nothing. Do you get mad when people who talk about history compare the way slaves were treated to the treatment of cattle too? Since using your logic whatever a metaphor is must mean that you think they're the same thing. A metaphor or comparison is a just a tool. Unless you're gonna send some thing calling me crazy because i used another comparison.

[mj-iza-writer]

So this next story is going to be a historical fiction whump. I have a section divider up as I think this is one of my longest stories yet. I have been wanting to write a history based whump for quite a while, but I was never able to think of something that would work.

I have been learning the Russian language and a dear friend of mine here on Tumblr has taught me so much of their Russian culture. I feel so enlightened on Russia. I would honestly love to visit.

One thing this friend has just taught me was The Siege of Leningrad. St. Petersburg sits where Leningrad sat. I had never been taught this, but did you know Nazi Germany tried to seize a Russian city during World War 2. I watched a video of the history as I wanted to know more about this part of history. I can say it was disturbing, but as a history buff, you have to take the good and the bad parts of World History.

The story below is historical fiction. I did use elements of what I learned to hopefully paint a picture to tell you about this part of history. You will see time traveling, lab rat Whumpee, Caretaker, Carewhumper, survivors guilt, environment whump, historical whump. Thats only the tip of the iceberg as well as I can't think of what else to tag this as.

Again it is long, but I really enjoyed writing this, and I really hope you enjoy reading.

Story warnings: mentions of an actual war, people doing what they cam to survive (graphic), swearing.

Please enjoy my first major attempt at historical whump. -MJ

Aleksandr typed in Leningrad into their computer.

"What does that mean, Aleksi?", Hannah cautiously glanced at the screen.

"Oh, it's what St. Petersburg use to be called", Aleksandr sighed, "back when I was a very young child."

"Like my age?", Hannah now looked at the computer bravely as they had seen they weren't bothering the older researcher.

"Well, younger, I was very young. You can see I've typed The Siege of Leningrad here", Aleksandr pointed, "this was a very important part of my countries history."

Hannah looked up curiously.

Aleksandr pulled the young lab rat onto his lap, "do you want to look at this with me? It is rather sad, but it will tell you a lot about my early years."

"Will I bother you?", Hannah looked up nervously, "I know not to bother Dr. Aleksi when he is busy."

"You won't bother me dear", Aleksandr laughed.

Hannah watched as the computer screen clicked to a photo. Hannah quickly covered their eyes.

"Sorry, yes.... that was a little graphic for you. Unfortunately that is what it looked like back then."

"Aleksi... was that a real person?", Hannah looked up nervously.

"Yes, they were real. That poor soul had scurvy. Unfortunately starvation led them to that horrible disease", Aleksandr clicked away quickly.

"Did they survive?", Hannah looked up.

"Unfortunately they did not", Aleksandr hugged the lab rat close, "maybe you shouldn't be shown this stuff. You're still very innocent."

"Please let me, Dr. Aleksi, please", Hannah pleaded.

"Okay, you can see, but if you get too uncomfortable we will stop", Aleksandr adjusted how Hannah sat, "here, выпей немного воды (have some water), your lips look chapped."

Hannah took the offered cup from the researcher and drank it quickly.

"So this started in September of 1941, during World War two. It was a troubling time for our world, but for a long time it didn't affect Russia not until that fateful day", Aleksandr paused to click to another picture, "I was just about to turn ten. My father had planned on coming home early that day to celebrate. He did come home early, and we tried to celebrate as much as we could. There was an uncomfortable feeling in the room. I overheard my parents talking about it. I was still too young to understand."

"There you are", someone yelled at the entrance to Aleksandr's door.

"I'm in trouble", Hannah whispered a sigh.

"Timothy, I am in the middle of something with Hannah", Aleksandr looked up at their partner.

"No, because I am in the middle of something with them. They snuck out of their restraints when I went to grab something", Timothy stormed to Hannah.

"Hannah is that true?", Aleksandr looked down at the lab rat.

"Yesh", Hannah whispered sadly.

"You little scamp", Aleksandr chuckled.

"Come on. You can come back to this later", Timothy grabbed Hannah's wrist and pulled her.

"Ow", Hannah complained sadly, "but Aleksi was telling me about his childhood."

"I can tell you more later. Do as Timothy says", Aleksandr turned and watched Hannah as they were dragged out of the room.

He turned to the next picture, which happened to be a picture of his family.

"You are so naughty", Timothy tightened the straps, "you know better than to escape during experiments."

Hannah whimpered, "I'm sorry."

"I guess that's what I get for leaving you unattend... wait, did you have water?", Timothy took a closer look.

"Yes, Aleksi gave me some while we were talking", Hannah frowned, "was that a no-no?"

"Yes that was a no-no", Timothy sighed, "great."

"How did the experiment go?", Aleksandr walked into the lab and saw Hannah was playing with some toys on the floor near Timothy's desk.

"It had to be rescheduled. They weren't supposed to have water", Timothy smiled weakly.

"Oh no, that was my fault. I apologize", Aleksandr frowned, "I just saw her dry lips and was concerned."

"I understand. You tend to keep an eye on hydration", Timothy sighed, "I can easily reschedule the test."

"When you grow up like I did... when water was scarce", Aleksandr side glanced Hannah, "I'm kind of glad you came and grabbed them. I don't think they were ready to learn about Leningrad."

Timothy nodded, "yes, unfortunately I wasn't ready either. I know what you are talking about, that's why I'm not mad. I'm just working on this idea for time travel right now."

"Oh, maybe you can go back in time and find out where I left my glasses", Aleksandr sighed.

Timothy pointed at their own forehead, "I found them."

Aleksandr reached up, and chuckled, "well, at least I won't lose my head, so they were never lost."

"Yes that would be bad if you lost your head", Timothy nodded, "what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I was actually going to rest tomorrow. These eighties are hitting me hard", Aleksandr sighed.

"Of course, you can take as many days as you like. We will try to leave the lab standing while your gone", Timothy smiled, "right Hannah?"

"Yes sir", Hannah looked up.

"Very well, take care of them", Aleksandr turned.

"I will", Timothy grinned.

"Oh, I was talking to Hannah", Aleksandr smiled mischievously.

Hannah giggled.

The next day, Hannah frowned when they walked into the lab room.

"What's that?", Hannah pointed.

"That is a time machine prototype", Timothy sighed without looking up, "don't touch."

Hannah looked at it nervously, "do-does it work?"

"I don't know yet", Timothy looked up finally, "its a prototype, I stayed up when an idea hit me. That was what I came up with. It's supposed to connect to the computer. The idea is to search something and be able to go to the destination. We can go back in time or into the future. Hopefully we can also go to different places. I would love to take Aleksandr to St. Petersburg one more time before....", Timothy sighed.

"Before he retires from the lab", Hannah smiled.

"Yeah", Timothy choked out, "before... he retires."

"He will probably love retirement", Hannah grinned, "what does this d...."

"Don't touch it", Timothy had looked down, "Hannah?.... Hannah?"

Timothy looked up, the machine was glowing... Hannah was gone. Suddenly the machine glitched and turned off.

"Shit.... shit... shit", Timothy jumped, "no no no. Aleksandr is going to kill me if I lose another lab rat.... especially Hannah."

"Turn on... please turn on", Timothy pleaded, "shit... Aleksi is going to retire me if I don't fix this."

Timothy hurried to the computer, "please tell me someone searched a safe place recently. That would at least make me feel a little better about Hannah's predicament.

Timothy's breath caught when he read the screen.

"Siege of Leningrad"

"Oh no, oh no.... no no no", Timothy looked back at the machine, "I am dead, I am very much dead. Hannah is doomed... and I am dead."

Aleksandr sipped the last of their tea.

"Let's go see what they are up to. I said I would take today off. I never said I wouldn't check in", they set their cup aside, "maybe Hannah will have some free time and we can read together. Hopefully get her mind off of Leningrad."

Timothy panicked when they saw Aleksandr walk past and reach for the door.

"I'm about to die. I'm about to be murdered by an eighty year old Russian man", Timothy gulped, "and I deserve it."

"Hey Timothy, I was wondering if Hannah was busy. I'd like to read with them", Aleksandr looked around, "where is the scamp... oh... is that your time machine."

"Ymhmm", Timothy squeaked, "we have a problem."

"You look quite pale. Are you sick?", Aleksandr frowned.

"No, but uhm... I've lost Hannah", Timothy's voice caught.

"You what?", Aleksandr's frown deepened, "lost as in playing hide and seek, and you can't find them, I hope."

Timothy could only shake their head.

"Ты что, шутишь? (Are you fucking kidding me?)", Caretaker yelled.

"It was an accident. I told them not to touch it. They asked what something did, then they disappeared. The machine glitched and turned off.... it won't turn back on",  Timothy gulped, "I've tried everything.. honest."

"Where the heck did they end up?", Aleksandr glared.

Timothy's hands shook as they pointed at the screen.

Aleksandr paled, "get them back... get them back now."

"I can't.... it won't turn on... I've been trying all morning", Timothy pleaded, "I told them not to touch."

"This is Hannah we are talking about. You know as well as I do that they have curious hands", Aleksandr hurried to the desk, "come on, we need to get them back. You just signed their death certificate."

Hannah fearfully hid in an alley. Explosions were happening everywhere. Screaming, yelling, crying.

Hannah blinked away tears, "where am I?"

Another explosion happened in the building sitting in front of them.

Hannah panicked and ran out of the alley and into the streets. Many others were also running.

Hannah quickly looked back. In their distracted haste, they tripped and fell to the ground.

Hannah's eyes were filled with dirt and ash. They tried to wipe it away. They could finally see a fuzzy image of what they tripped over.

Hannah covered their mouth to muffle a scream. A dead man reached out to them. Some parts of the corpse seemed to be butchered away. They had been dead for a day or so, Hannah guessed.

Hannah quickly crawled away and got up and ran.

Everywhere they ran seemed to bring new images of suffering. Children crying next to corpses. People stealing food and running away. Women with cuts down their arms... hugging their babies in front of charred buildings.

Hannah finally found another place to hide.

"It's so cold here", she shivered, "I wonder where I am. I hope wherever this is, Dr. Timothy can find me. I hope it's soon."

People ran past.

"That almost sounds like words Aleksi has said in the lab", Hannah listened, "am I-I in Russia?", she looked around, "I-I wonder if this is what Aleksi was showing me yesterday. I really wish I could have learned a little more. I don't even remember what this was called."

Hannah looked down, "I'm not going to make it long. It's freezing, and if I'm where I think I am, I'm going to freeze to death. I stick out, obviously. I'm not dressed for the period. It's better to hide out here and hope Aleksi and Dr. Timothy will get me. I hope that's soon."

That night Hannah huddled next to a smoldering building for warmth. People were still out. It seemed some were dragging dead bodies to somewhere. Some where crying in front of the fallen buildings that had been bombed earlier. Others were scavenging for anything they could find to eat.

"I-is this what Aleksi grew up in, and he said he was ten during this time period", Hannah felt her stomach rumble, "I haven't eaten today either. But I'll be okay."

Days passed without signs of Aleksi and Dr. Timothy.

Hannah was witness to horror after horror.

"I want to go home", Hannah cried that night as they huddled next to another building that had been bombed. They had watched several bodies get pulled from the rubble only a few hours ago.

"I'm cold.... it's so cold", Hannah pulled a torn cloth they had found tighter around them, "I'm hungry... I can't find food."

Hannah had tried to scavenge some food, but they needed a card to actually get something from any stores.

"Of course.... wars mean rations. I don't have a ration card... I'm not from this time. I don't look like I'm from this time."

Hannah yawned, "I'm tired. I can't sleep. If I sleep... I'll freeze to death", they licked their lips, "Aleksi would be forcing me to drink water right now. Your lips are chapped, he'd tell me. I don't know where to get water... I don't even know if I can safely drink it. I'm in the danger zone tomorrow. I've gone to long without water. Dr. Timothy says three days is the max. I need to be careful."

Hannah limped through the shadows. They tried to stay out of the way of the inhabitants. Nobody seemed to notice them. Or at least they ignored Hannah. Everyone seemed to ignore each other. It was survival of the fittest here. You took care of yours, and that was it."

Hannah fell to the side, they stumbled a few steps and fell to their knees.

"My body is not doing good. I don't know how these people are surviving like this. I've been here for at least four days now, they have been living this since... uh, whenever Aleksi said this started."

Hannah huddled beside a building.

"Алекса́ндр (Aleksandr)", a woman called as a young child climbed through some rubble.

"Мама, смотри (mama, look)", the child pointed at Hannah.

The woman pulled on the child's arm and led them away from the strange person.

Hannah sighed, "that sounded like she said Aleksandr. I really hope they come and get me. They have a bad habit of losing lab rats, but Aleksi has warned about messing with time travel."

Hannah buried her face into her arms, "they wouldn't leave me... right?"

"Hannah?"

She thought she heard a familiar voice call for her.

"I think the dehydration is getting to me", Hannah blinked tiredly, "or the lack of sleep. That sounds like Aleksi."

"Hannah?", the voice got closer.

"Aleksi?", Hannah peaked out.

An old man limped toward her. Cane in hand.

"Aleksi!!", Hannah cried as she ran out of her hiding spot towards him.

"Oh thank goodness", Aleksandr sighed in relief as he hugged her tight, "I'm so glad you're okay. Here we need to get home. You're in desperate need of medical attention."

Hannah cried, "I'm so happy to see you."

"I'm happy to see you as well. Come along... our presence has already messed with this part of history", Aleksandr turned.

"How did you find me?", Hannah quickly followed.

"My past self saw you, that child was me. I was able to remember you", Aleksandr frowned, "we shouldn't be messing with history like this. Close your eyes."

A bright light shown.

"You may open your eyes now", Aleksandr instructed.

Hannah opened their eyes and looked around.

"Oh thank heavens",  a relieved voice came from behind.

"Dr. Timothy?", Hannah turned.

"You're home", Timothy almost sounded as though they were promising themself that and not Hannah.

"Medical attention first. We will talk after that. Food, IV, and fluids. Bath", Aleksandr ordered as they limped out of the room.

"I-is he mad?", Hannah whimpered as Timothy picked them up.

"He's mad at me for the incident, and I'm sure he was not happy to see his city like that. It brings back bad memories", Timothy explained, "I would have went in after you, but he said he would be able to find you better."

Hannah rested in a hospital bed. They had an IV of fluid in one arm. Their other arm had an IV that was pumping in nutrients. A third IV was also placed in their wrist to give them medicine for any illnesses they could have contracted while in Leningrad.

Hannah was now wrapped in several blankets. Dr. Timothy fed them one of their favorite meals and even dessert.

Hannah's eyes were growing heavy when Aleksandr walked into the room.

"Aleksi", Whumpee's eyes opened widely, "are you okay?"

"I was about to ask you the same question", Aleksandr sat down, "I read over the charts and Timothy did good to get you taken care of."

Aleksandr watched as Hannah looked down.

"I'm afraid you saw more than what I wanted you to see. It was even harder I could imagine as you couldn't understand what was being said around you. I didn't want you to know about everything, but it would have been better that I had told you why Leningrad was under siege."

Aleksandr explained the history to Hannah as they waited for the medicine to finish.

"I saw so many horrific things. I tripped over a corpse. I-I-I saw a horse get butchered alive, and other animals. People were just as scary", Hannah looked at Aleksandr sadly, "why did that happen?"

"It's hard to say. Power makes people hungry. They want more and more. No matter how much they get.... it's never enough", Aleksandr sighed, "I'm glad we got you back. Remember this all happened for 900 days."

"I'm so glad you survived it", Hannah smiled, "I wouldn't have been able to be with you had you not."

"Well, I had a good mother who took care of me", Aleksandr smiled.

"That woman... the one who pulled you away... she had cuts on her arms. I had seen them on others. May I ask what those were from?", Hannah looked at Aleksandr with curious eyes.

"No, as for right now... you have seen enough", Aleksandr smiled weakly, "you need to sleep. Your eye lids are very dark."

"Wi-will you sit with me.... just for a little while?", Hannah frowned, "I don't want to be alone."

"I will sit with you until you fall asleep. How does that sound?", Aleksandr leaned up and started to pet Hannah's head to comfort her. He hummed a song his mom would sing every night, whether in the bomb shelter or elsewhere."

Hannah's eyelids were no match. They were asleep in minutes.

Aleksandr sighed as they sat back. Flashbacks were haunting him since a few days ago. Now seeing it all in person again.

Memories of his mom cutting her arm open and forcing Aleksandr to drink the blood. It was the only thing she could think to do to keep her starving child alive.

She had gotten sick from the diseases carried by the overpopulation of rats.

Aleksandr remembered sitting next to his mother's corpse all day at the age of eleven. Waiting for his father to come home from the factory. His father never returned. A bomb had been dropped on the factory that morning.

Aleksandr wiped a tear, "I'm haunted by these memories", Aleksandr whispered, "then I see my mom walking again."

Aleksandr turned to Hannah and watched them as their chest gently rose and fell.

"I'm sorry you were witness to that", Aleksandr sighed, "we did what we had to do to survive back then."

"Yes you did", a voice came from behind, "sorry, I was checking on Whumpee and heard you talking. I thought maybe you were talking to her, I didn't want to disturb you. Any survivors of wars should be commemorated. There should never be any shame."

"More like survivors guilt. Why couldn't my family have survived. My best friend. Everyone I loved", Aleksandr's whispers were raspy. My momma was so beautiful. She didn't deserve that."

"Your mom did what she knew she needed to do to keep you safe", Timothy patted Aleksandr on the shoulder, "she would be happy to know how long you've lived because of her efforts, your father also. You lived in spite of what happened. I am so honored to work with you. I always have been honored to work with you."

Aleksandr smiled weakly, "we should let this one sleep. Hannah has had a long few days. She will need a lot of rest."

"Yes all test have been postponed until you say", Timothy nodded, "that's another thing. Without you I would have never been able to fix the time machine, and I wouldn't have found her."

"She wouldn't have ended up there if my Leningrad file hadn't been pulled up to begin with", Aleksandr stood.

"Still, just like your parents did their best with you and did what they could to keep you alive. You did your best for Hannah. We got her back to safety", Timothy smiled, "maybe with your help, we can make the machine travel. We can zap into different places to visit. You can visit St. Petersburg and Moscow if you like. The possibilities are endless."

"I don't know if I want anything else to do with that. Hannah is absolutely not allowed anywhere near that thing either", Aleksandr frowned, "she's had enough time traveling for one lifetime."

Timothy nodded, "alright, let's get some sleep. We have both been working nonstop. I need my beauty sleep, and you are way past those days to be missing sleep."

Aleksandr chuckled, "I may sit here for a little longer. In case she need something", Aleksandr smiled at Hannah.

"Alright Aleksi, get some rest though, but I understand", Timothy yawned, "see you in a little while."

"Yes, I'll see you", Aleksandr reached up and adjusted one of the blankets.

They hummed the song their mom had sang to them so many times.

Whumpee sighed in peace.

"Congratulations, you survived the siege of Leningrad, my dear. Even if it was a few days, you did something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy", Aleksandr whispered as they brushed Whumpee's freshly cleaned hair away from their face, "I'm very proud of you."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@weirdthingweee @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@risk606 @electrons2006

@paperprinxe @whumprince

@kaz-of-crows @mis-graves

@decaffeinatedtimetraveler94 @sausages-things

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@jumpywhumpywriter @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat

@mylifeisonthebookshelf @thenormalestever

@whatwhump @galatic-worm

@starmoon-constellation @bacillusinfection

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

Ranking the Boyds from most to least romantic?

Clement Mansell: He is SO romantic. He’s the sort of guy that says the cheesiest lines about “partners in crime” and means it 100%. Valentine’s Day especially is more important than every other holiday rolled into one! He loves the trappings of romance - the flowers, the chocolate, the dramatic proclamations of love - but he’s also so weak for the quieter moments too.

Eli Klaber: He’s absolutely a big romantic! He loves romcoms and happily ever afters and absolutely has a Pinterest board of wedding inspo. He ranks lower than Clement just because he doesn’t necessarily seek it out in the same way Clement does. He’s comfortable on his own, too!

Donald Pierce: He’s actually surprisingly romantic! It’s hard to tell though - he’s not very expressive about it, and it also doesn’t manifest in the typical masculine way. He’s sort of embarrassed about it (and loath to admit it out loud) but he’d very much prefer to be the recipient of stuff like getting flowers, getting picked up, getting walked back to his door and given a chaste goodnight kiss! I think there’s a big part of him that utterly melts for labels too - to be someone’s person! To have a wife or a boyfriend or a husband! He doesn’t like stories where the couple isn’t together at the end.

Cap Hatfield: He’s got some old-fashioned romantic sensibilities! It’s cute! He asks for a date very respectfully (maybe a little flustered), and shows up the day-of with hand-cut flowers, greets your parents or roommates politely, and holds your hand as he walks you guys out to a cute little picnic spot he’s got set up! He’s totally the sort that will insist on asking your dad for permission to marry you whether you want him to or not, though! It’s just how he was raised!

Ty Shaw: He can absolutely pull out romantic stunts sometimes, and he’s good at about remembering what’s important to his partner (birthdays, anniversaries, etc), but he’s actually inclined to treat relationships a little more casually. I think ultimately he just puts less value on romance than, say, family and friends and other obligations.

Steve Murphy: Eh, sometimes. He didn’t really think he was very romantic for most of his life, until he met Javi, and now he occasionally daydreams about Javi whisking him away to some remote, snowy cabin like that informant in ‘84. (Javi: WE WERE IN HIDING. IT WASN’T LIKE THAT.)

The Corinthian: He can imitate romance sometimes, but he’s not very traditionally romantic at his core. He does love being owned though! And he’d love to maybe own someone a little too! So! That’s ~something~?

Danny Maguire: Historically, not really. That being said, I think a part of Danny’s just conditioned himself not to expect it. He might prickle, but he’d also be really flustered if someone he liked got him a small, thoughtful gift, or surprised him by picking him up for stargazing.

Quinn McKenna: Quinn fast-forwards during romantic scenes in movies.

[loveandlegacy]

evolution's destination

so i have seen a few posts about how viktor's "evolution has a destination" line either doesn't make sense or is just a throwaway setup for him to say the fanbaity line of "the final, glorious evolution" – but i wanted to try to give viktor and by extension the writers some credit (however mad some of their choices made me) that that line isnt just incoherent nonsense.

part of my motivation for this is that i think the reading that all of viktor's actions in s2 are the result of him being a quasi-lobotomized shell for the hexcore's "will" is among the least interesting ways to interpret what was going on with his arc and probably does the greatest disservice to viktor as a character. i think we are supposed to understand him saying this as an important part of the broader context of his life and that he believes it for truly horrifying reasons.

so anyway. getting into this comes with the warning that the forthcoming reception requires me to take the overarching ableism of the metatext (not viktor's internalized ableism but the attitudes of the show itself) for what it is. i don't especially like it, but it is what it is and there's not much to say about it.

given that, i think it's better to receive the "evolution" scene as part of that deliberate choice to enable the narrative to lead up to and make possible viktor and jayce's love confession at the end.

so here we go.

viktor asserts that evolution has a destination in a philosophical debate with singed, and i would argue this is intended to make viktor's actual worldview as clear as possible to the audience before he decides to pop off and fembotify the world at large.

taking the argument with singed at face value: viktor opens the debate by asking if singed believes in fate and in their lives being guided by an invisible hand. it seems like a kind of weird question to ask considering they were at no point talking about destiny prior in the conversation – but i think on examination it makes sense.

viktor's encounter with singed begins with singed immediately violating viktor's personal space, which reveals to viktor the existence (or non-existence) of orianna.

entombed as she is in a glass sarcophagus, this dead little girl's stasis state recalls viktor's much beloved rio in her chemical tank. the blocking is interesting here – viktor and singed are on the same side of orianna's sarcophagus. for a moment, he and singed occupy a similar place in the universe: men of science. but in the present world, he and singed stand opposite each other.

they may both be men of science but they disagree about what ends science should be used towards and how it even works. viktor makes this clear when he tells singed "knowledge is a paradox. the more one understands, the more one realizes the vastness of his ignorance" as a rebuttal to singed saying he wishes he could know the world through viktor's eyes.

they then go on to disagree about even more. singed calls warwick a specimen, viktor says he's a man. singed wants to use warwick to save viktor from the deleterious effects of being connected to the arcane and viktor refuses, saying that it would be a pointless waste of warwick's life in service of ambessa's warmongering. singed refutes this and argues that the point of this blood sacrifice is to enable viktor to continue his work – "to save us from ourselves."

we are invited to doubt this motivation, viktor's visions showing us singed caressing not warwick but orianna's sarcophagus. there is no 'us' in this situation, there is only one particular person singed is interested in saving and it's orianna.

immediately following this vision, and immediately before viktor asks if singed believes in fate, singed says "you must survive, viktor". as many people before me have pointed out, this is a callback to his s1 statement that "the mutation must survive". this doesn't only tie viktor to rio, it also connects his story to orianna. singed does not want viktor to survive for his own good or for his work any more than he wanted rio to survive for her own good. viktor is another subject in question – another specimen in the long line of singed's various biomedical crimes, the same as rio.

genetic experimentation and selective breeding (and necromancy lol) aren't the same things as fate, but humans forcing a particular evolutionary direction onto other creatures can be read as a kind of 'invisible hand' if you think about it from the perspective of the test subjects in question.

given that viktor is the presumed 'mutation' in this conversation, we can understand him to also be the subject whose fate is guided or reoriented by this invisible hand via piltover's pollution of zaun, his own attempts at capturing magic through science being thwarted by powers greater than him, and eventually the hexcore yanking him back from death at the beginning of the season.

he even asks his question about fate while staring at the fractal patterns of the greenhouse glass! presenting us with ever-repeating patterns and cycles with no end.

in this light, viktor is asking singed if humans are in fact fated by forces outside of their control or if at least some humans can overcome those forces to reorient the total forward trajectory of the species.

singed says no and asserts that the only ruling force in nature is evolution, which is always in flux. this reveals something kind of interesting about singed imo and his relationship to death and his thoughts about orianna but that's a different post. for the purposes of this analysis he's saying what is true, which is that even genetic modification/manipulation and scientific interrogation – both things he has mastered in his own way – are still subject to engine of evolution well beyond whatever interventions humans are capable of.

this is the moment when viktor comes back with, "no, evolution has a destination – not to combat nature, but to supersede it. the final, glorious evolution".

much as i enjoy the funny dunks on this statement for its scientific incorrectness, i think there is something to the fact that viktor basically rejects singed's description of evolution and then turns around and treats evolution as the same thing as fate. he makes the 'evolution has a destination' statement while studying his hexcore-transformed hand.

i am struggling to remember the post that initially made this point click for me (i think it might have been this gifset but i will edit if i find something that made the argument more explicitly), but by studying his hand in this way, the visual language of the moment is telling us that viktor has come to see his own body as the evolutionary destination in question and the thing that supersedes nature/its unpredictable flux.

now comes the part where we dive into the idea that all of viktor's choices from the very beginning were shaped by having always been ashamed of his disability and that this shame is what guided him to his beautifying* eugenics project specifically. binomech has a thorough post explaining this reading of the text in depth and i recommend reading it through because it provides the foundation for what i'm about to say.

in the context of studying his own, violently transformed body – a process that required a traumatic death (or near-death, depending) and then the one man he loved and trusted most in all of piltover using the technology they created together to save his life despite viktor asking him to destroy the hexcore with the full knowledge that he was going to die anyway, even without the bombing – we can understand that the hexcore has granted viktor a kind of supremacy over his own former-fate. something horrible happened to him, but because of that horror, he was reborn not only free of the damage from the bombing, but also free of the things that fated him to an early death from birth.

exposure to toxic waste, piltover's ethnic discrimination against and industrial exploitation of zaun, the terminal illness for which he is repeatedly punished in season 1 for wanting to escape, his lifelong disability that marks him as even more of an outsider in piltover – these are all things completely outside of his control, all factors that determined how his life would be before he was even born. these things are the 'invisible hand' guiding the trajectory his life would follow, up to and including being in the council room when jinx's bomb hit. even jayce using the hexcore to save him could arguably be seen as part of this fate in which he had no say.

but the hexcore also "liberates" him.

it gives him a body he didn't ask for but it extends his life. it dissolves his disability and it gives him literal supernatural powers in its place. it allows him to build a commune verdant and overflowing with life in the basin of his home where people were thrown away like human trash. he was fated, but his fate also gave him a destination.

if we understand that viktor has, from his childhood, developed a particular sense of internalized ableism and come to see his body as a weakness that he needs to overcome or reject, that he agrees with piltover's view of him, then it makes sense why he talks about 'superseding' nature. it's not a scientific concept or even a fact of nature that he's after now that he's been forcibly transformed.

he's talking specifically about the supernatural, about what the arcane has offered him as a way out of his circumstances. he not only gets the able body that presumably the whole world reminded him at every turn was the better body to the point that he'd be ashamed of his own, he gets to go beyond this assimilationist idea of becoming what piltover wanted. he forces a fullblown eugenics project on the world at large in which no one is ever disabled or sick or capable of exploitation because they just they are hollowed out expressions of his vision of perfection, made of porcelain and gold, the dazzling colors of piltover's wealth and prosperity otherwise known as the colors of progress. this vision he has of painlessness and perfection has been shaped in part by a lifetime of punishment for having the "wrong" kind of body and for experiencing any amount of grief or rage over having been treated unfairly by piltover's hegemonic culture.

he was remade by magic and magic in turn enables him to guide evolution beyond what nature would allow. a world remade as he was into something unbreakable because it's perfect and empty.

as binomech says, i don't especially like the metatextual politics of this storyline, but it's the story they chose to tell. it follows through on its thematic promises for viktor, who spends the whole season on a runway up to what singed told him in s1. love and legacy are worth sacrificing for progress. his evolution has its destination. because of his many violent collisions with death, he was, however briefly and grotesquely, the mutation that survived.

*i say 'beautifying' because there are other kinds of eugenics projects that one could undertake since 'eugenics' itself is a movable target/fallible concept that hinges entirely on what one person or one culture thinks counts as 'desirable' traits. viktor's eugenics project is very particular to him, where his cultists-and-eventual-pretty-borgbots are all flawless, elegant, and eventually completely featureless, non-reproductive, entities

[itslenagain]

"You, there!" the regal voice calls down the hallway.

Shit. I'm toast.

Mother taught me three very important things about visiting Olympus - one, never reveal that I am a child of Zeus. Two, never steal anything from the Temple. And three, most important of all, NEVER allow my existence to be discovered by Hera.

And who but Hera, my unaware-but-still-somehow-wicked stepmother, would happen to be entering the hallway at the same time I attempted to duck into the kitchen for a late night snack.

"Why are you up at this hour?"

My mind races, searching for a way to escape. I'm surrounded by dead ends. I wonder briefly how severe my injuries would be if I attempted to jump out a window. My heart races as incoming footsteps signal my inevitable demise.

Except, when I turn my face to hers, I can tell that Hera has been crying.

She studies me for a moment. "Who are you?"

Shit. SHIT.

"I'm, ah, Eulalia," I lie. "New in town."

She continues to stare me down in suspicion. I'm so fucked. I have to think fast...

"Hera? Why are you up so late?"

She's briefly surprised by the question, but regains her composure quickly. "I was feeling snackish. It looks as though you were also headed to the kitchen." After a pause, she adds, "You may accompany me, if you wish."

I watch her face, and I am perplexed. I should run. I should get myself far away from Hera, as fast as I can. But instead, I find myself nodding gently. Something so achingly familiar to me hides behind her icy gaze.

She glides past me into the kitchen, gauzy green robe trailing softly behind her. I nervously grab a pear from the counter and sit at the small table.

"...is that it?" Hera says, raising an eyebrow. I blush. She sizes me up for a moment, and seems to come to some unspoken conclusion. "If you tell anyone about what I am about to show you, I will personally kill you." I swallow down the rising bile in my throat and let out a far-too-anxious laugh. She opens the refrigerator and reaches for something in the back. "Now, this is a snack worth getting out of bed for." She pulls out a container full of spinach and carrots and places it carefully on the table. She brushes her hands over the lid, and her eyes glow. When she takes off the lid...

"Melopita!" I exclaim. She looks at me sternly. My hands fly up to my mouth.

"Don't make me regret sharing." She cuts a generous slice and places it in front of me. I tear into the slice with a ferocity that rivals a lion hungrily taking down its prey. I hear her laugh. Her eyes are still puffy, but she looks... softer. Lighter, even.

She positions her knife to cut a small slice of the melopita, and this time, I am the one to shoot her a look. "Is that it?" I ask playfully. She moves the knife a little. "Oh, come on. Is that worth getting out of bed for?!" She moves it a little more and looks at me, eyebrow raised. She lets out a huff. She chucks the knife into the sink and grabs a spoon. "YES!" I cheer. She laughs again. The sound warms me to my core. I wonder how often she allows herself to be vulnerable in this way.

We sit for a moment in silence, enjoying the sweet treat. "So, what's your story?" She asks. I gulp. "Married? Kids? Anything?"

"Not married, no kids. As for the rest... Well, uh. I'm still figuring it out, honestly."

"Aren't we all," Hera sighs. She looks at her feet.

Before any sense of self preservation can convince me not to speak, my mouth is forming words. "Hera, are you okay?"

She's taken aback. Her face becomes stone once again. "Of course I am okay. What a stupid thing to ask," she says coldly. I should have stayed quiet. I should walk away now and never speak to her again.

Instead, I speak to her again. "I don't mean to upset you. I just wondered if anyone has ever asked you that before."

Hera says nothing. She silently rises from her seat and crosses to the door frame. She hesitates before crossing the threshold. "I don't need anyone to worry about me." She says firmly.

"Maybe not, but I'm still gonna."

She stiffens. Then, she walks away without another word.

~~~

Later that week, I find myself making a familiar late-night pilgrimage to the kitchen. I listen carefully as I maneuver the halls of the Temple, checking around the corners before turning. She's nowhere in sight. I hope it stays that way.

I walk down the same corridor where I encountered Hera for the first time. The walls are lined with pictures of my father and his brothers. I pause next to one where Zeus and Hera stand together. His authoritative expression dominates the portrait. His arm is wrapped firmly around his wife, his sister. Hera's eyes are cold and empty.

When I see her sat at the table in the kitchen, they're red and wet.

She looks up at me. Her mouth opens, but no words come out. My heart breaks for her.

I cross to the refrigerator and pull out my own secret container. "Chocolate ice cream?" She nods.

We sit together in silence. I watch her shovel spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth. Her long hair hangs limply about her head. I want to hug her and tell her it will all be okay, and I want to run away and hope she forgets all about me. Both are true. I am terrified.

It becomes a ritual. I watch Hera lead beside her husband by day with steely-eyed ruthlessness. An then, in that small kitchen in the middle of the night, I come to sit with her quietly while she cries. She never says a word, and neither do I.

~~~

Before I know what is happening, someone is pulling me into a closet. I nearly lose my balance, but slender arms wrap around me, covering my mouth. The door closes and the lock clicks. For a brief, horrifying moment, I am plunged into complete darkness, and unable to call for help. "Don't scream," a voice hisses into my ear. The lights flip on.

Before me stands a tall woman in an iridescent gown. Iris. Her arms are crossed, eyes narrowed. The hand comes off of my mouth. I turn to see another woman still holding my body back. Iris takes a step closer to me and leans in. "What are your intentions with my mistress?"

"...What?"

"Hera might seem like an easy target to you, but she's your worst nightmare" she hisses. "What are you planning?"

"I don't understand," I choke. "I'm not planning anything."

Iris stares at me for a long time. She puts a hand on my shoulder and leans so closely into my face that I can feel her breath on my cheek. "I know who you are. I know what you are. And if you hurt her, I will tell her everything, and she will end you, Ophelia."

My blood turns cold. I feel my hands growing numb. "I-I don't want to hurt her. I'm not trying to, I swear. She seems like she needs some help."

"I can help her," Iris hisses. Her eyes stay fixed on me. Her lip twists in disgust. Is this... jealousy? I feel the heat return to my cheeks.

"It's not like that!" Her eyes hit me like daggers. "She's my aunt!"

Iris continues to stare me down. Whatever she hopes to find, she doesn't. She lets out a sharp exhale. She motions to the woman behind me to let me go. Iris looks at me again. "She's a hard person to get close to, trust me. I didn't understand." She unlocks the door. "As long as you're just trying to help... well, I'll keep your secret if you keep mine." I nod. "No funny business, okay?"

I smirk. She rolls her eyes at me.

~~~

Tonight, when I enter the empty kitchen, I am surprised to feel a certain sadness about it. How have I gone from being afraid of Hera, to being her silent confidant? I sit down at the table. The empty seat across from mine feels unnatural.

"Hi," a voice says from behind me. I turn to see Hera standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Can we take a walk?"

The garden outside the Temple is illuminated by a mixture of moonlight and tiny lanterns. "Why do you keep showing up?"

"...For snacks?"

Hera snorts. "If it was just about snacks, you could come earlier or later and avoid me." I look at my feet. "I give you part of me. You've seen me cry. Nobody sees that. Give me something. Please."

I stop walking. Hera turns to face me. I take a deep breath. "Two years ago, I was going to be married. It was something my mother chose for me. His family was wealthy and influential. I had some type love for him, don't get me wrong... but it wasn't the kind of love I want. He loved the fact that he had control over me. He loved me only when I submitted to the things he wanted. I had to be the kind of person he could love in order for him to love me, even if it meant being someone, something, that I absolutely am not." I feel my hands shake. I breathe in, and then out. "He lied to me. He cheated on me. He physically and verbally abused me." I swat at the tears rolling down my cheeks. "Walking away was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I didn't have anyone to help me through it."

I feel arms wrap around me. I lean in to her warmth. The sobs rip through me. My chest heaves. Hera strokes my hair. I realize that she is crying too. I hug her tight.

"...I'm not ready to walk away yet," Hera sobs.

I put my hands on her shoulders and look her in the eyes. "It's okay. Just know that I'm here for you no matter what you decide."

We stand together for a while, arm-in-arm. "Can I ask you one more thing?"

"What's up?"

"Can I call you my niece, Ophelia?"

My heart drops. "You know?"

Hera looks at me, an eyebrow raised. "I was going to kill you." I feel myself growing pale. She just laughs. "I found out the morning after we met, and I wanted to kill you. But I remembered what you said. And then I had this strange feeling that fate brought us together for a reason." She pulls my still-stunned figure into another hug. "Thank you for worrying about me. Maybe with your support, one day, I will be ready."

"As one of Zeus bastard children, you are doomed to be targeted by Hera, however you found a way to get on the queens good side before she found out who your father is. "

[mars-and-the-theoi]

Day 8 of Deity Devotion Challenge: ⚡️Zeus⚡️

Question- What’s the most valuable lesson your deity has taught you? That it’s okay to be human. Sounds silly, I know, but hear me out. In case y’all don’t know I’m disabled and I’m also no stranger to struggling with my mental health. This makes a consist worship schedule/habit not feasible for me. And I used to beat myself up about that so much (and honestly I still do sometimes). Because I would feel so bad about my inconsistency. Like I would go months w/o doing anything religion related sometimes like I wouldn’t even do altar cleanings for a long time sometimes. And I would try for consistency, and I could keep it up for a bit, but it usually never lasted more than a month at a time.

And it all kind of came to a head last year where my guilt about it was at its worst. Early 2022 had been hellish I mean truly I became super sick, needed surgery, had to take care of a family member after they’d had surgery, had a mental breakdown and ended up hospitalized, and had covid all within the first few months of 2022. So obviously worship and all that very much fell to the side and while I felt bad about that there wasn’t much else I could do. And finally, come June I was able to finally get back into it after not doing anything since January. And I felt horrible. I remember crying as I cleaned his altar and just apologizing cause I felt like I’d neglected Him in a way and I prayed to him and gave him an offering and that was that.

Then that night I had a dream with Him and I’m not going to go into all the mushy details but He was just like ‘it’s okay. I’m not mad at you about this. Like it’s been a rough few months for you and it’s okay that you prioritized yourself and it’s okay that you were in circumstances where worship just wasn’t a priority. It’s okay. I get it. We all get it. We know things come up that make worshiping hard. We do. It’s okay’ and I just felt so much better. Because They do. They all get it.

And I share this story knowing that this is something a lot of people struggle with but rest assured that they’re much more familiar with us than we tend to give them credit for. Shit happens. Life can get chaotic. Life gets busy, stressful, tiring. We get sick. Get hurt. Have to move unexpectedly. We have exams. Work overtime. Work weird hours. Have people to take care of. So on and so forth. But these things aren’t new. These have been traits of humanity since the dawn of time. The Gods have been around for a very long time too. So they get it, they know, and they aren’t mad.