#such a harrowing experience . cannot recommend enough

[aztarion]

JEZ!! what was your favorite song off perverts?? 👁️👁️

ezra you know this is cruel…. i genuinely adore the entire album in every way — narratively, lyrically, musically… like it’s just one huge hour+ song to me. i thought it was gonna be punish for the longest time before the actual drop, then i would’ve said thatorchia on my first listen, then onanist literally an hour ago but im relistening to housofpsychoticwomn and there is an incredible amount of detail to that track. the loop and reverb shouting no no no no then help help help help then screaming in pain while ethel just calmly, dissociatively, says “i love you” over it (and in amber wave's saying she swear she won't scream T_T). being able to register the first notes of “i am (punished by love)” from punish layered through. the way it feels like a buzzing swarm in your head (pulldrone mutilation foreshadowing?) until the protesting is so indistinguishable it may as well just not exist . the fact that it leads and blends into the very physical vacillator. you’ve been so bled mentally and emotionally the thumping is a pleasant catharsis when in any other case it and the lyrics should be jarring or upsetting. the contrast of housofpsychoticwomn being so draining that vacillator almost feels romantic when it’s anything but. PERVERTS IS JUST…. i dont have words. album that is instantly so deeply precious to me :( every single song but for now i think this is one of the tracks that has me in awe at the artistry. cinematic experience

WHATS YOURS 🎤

[woahjo]

calllll, can i get some recommendations for your fav women authors? i’m okay w anything <33

YESSSS OF COURSE!!!!

so my number one favorite author right now is mieko kawakami. she primarily writes contemporary feminist fiction about women in their 30s and 40s. i know i've spoken about her a lot, but she writes beautifully about the experience of being a "non-conventional" woman within a patriarchal society. and she writes about loneliness so perfectly. god she's wonderful.

book recs by her: - heaven, this novel is actually outside of what i think she's most recognized for since the characters are younger, but it's a book about two bullied teenagers and the way they make sense of why it happens to them. a lot of it is an exploration of philosophy through fiction and it has one of the most frustrating (in a good way) scenes that i've read. just so so good - breasts and eggs, a book about a woman who wants to have a child without a husband, without marrying, and without a man involved. explores motherhood, families, sexuality, womanhood, and the ethics of having children with a surrogate father who is not involved in the child's life. asks a lot of questions of what it means to be a woman. also worth noting that in japan it is illegal for a single woman to do IVF (and a same-sex couple) and the book explores that. it's DELIGHTFULLY human. i love this book.

another one of my fav authors is octavia butler. she's a science fiction novelist and she often includes allegories about social and racial injustice, capitalism, and colonialism. i even feel like allegory isn't the right word because a lot of it is very in your face. she's a brilliant writer and her work is SO relevant to today's social climate (especially her earthseed duology). her work really draws you into the world that she builds, almost to the point that the taboos she includes no longer feel like taboos by the time you put the book down.

book recs by her (they're series): - lilith's brood / xenogenesis, this is a trilogy and im not joking when i say that it's probably the best series of books i've read. it's about humanity and the aliens that come to "rescue" them on the verge of extinction, humans having practically wiped themselves out with nuclear war. it's really difficult to describe the book any further without feeling like i'm spoiling it, but the novel is an allegory for colonialism and the idea of cultural identity. it's incredible. i was asked to read the first seven chapters for a class and then i finished the whole series in three days. i could not put it down. it's fantastic and by the end of it, you're so drawn into this world she's created that the things that once felt incredibly taboo become so normal. it's fantastic i cannot say enough good things about this series. (the first book is called dawn) - parable of the sower, this one is from a duology, but i'm gonna talk about the first one because i haven't finished the second. it's about a post-capitalism america. it's set in california in 2024, when the american government, currency, and systems have all but collapsed in everything but name. it's absolutely HARROWING the parallels this book has to the current state of america, despite being written in 1993. honestly, she told the future a little bit and it's really frightening. it's told through the eyes of a teenage girl as she starts the religion "earthseed" in an attempt to make sense of the world. the book is absolutely phenomenal. so so so so good.

[somethin-real]

Thanks for answering my ask....If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

I am once again answering asks months later than I should have because time isn’t real and I never open my phone BUT I will never give up an excuse to talk about the stuff I like so let’s go

(This is in no particular order because besides the first two I can’t pick a favourite child)

1) interview with the vampire (tv)

God. This thing has taken over my brain chemistry. I first watched it as the first season aired a few years back and loved it then and now that the second season has aired I literally cannot stop thinking about it. I have watched every episode of this series at least four times, some more than others because I genuinely can’t get enough. It’s simply so perfect to me… the camp… the vampires… everyone should watch this at least once in their lives (I am also currently working my way through the books and they are so tasty)

2) nbc Hannibal

GUH. I strangely never talk about it but Hannibal was one of the first shows to rewire my brain like iwtv has. I first watched it back in high school I think after a girl I had a crush on lended it to me on a usb stick and I think it’s so perfect. I find it really beautiful in a real vile way (pos) and can watch it over and over without tiring (in fact I could probably recite many of the episodes off by heart which I wouldn’t consider a problem but Some People might). The relationship between Hannibal and Will is so palpable and harrowing and I genuinely once wrote an essay on it for uni (I got an eighty) because I’m Normal

3) life is strange 2

a bit of a random one, but ever since I played the first episode of lis2, I’ve been obsessed with it. say what you want about the lis games, but there’s something really lovely to me about Sean and Daniel. maybe it’s because it reminds me of my little brother, maybe it’s because the experience of being a Latin person in North America is so familiar, but it’s a really beautiful game and I’ve replayed it… seven times now? I think? I keep trying to get different endings but I’m weird about making people do bad stuff in video games surprisingly

4) red dead redemption 2

Look man. I like cowboys, I like the great outdoors, I like the idea that Arthur Morgan (gunslinging criminal) is actually a pretty princess. Maybe I’m projecting but he really is a beautiful woman to me. this is another game I’ve played way too many times even though playing the epilogue bit where you have to build the fence makes me want to die. also Javier and John should kiss and I want sadie Adler to be my wife

5) sarazanmai

Maybe a bit of an oddball but this is one of those anime that’s like looking at a car wreck. You simply cannot look away. What began as a strange, mythological mindfuck of a show slowly morphed into a beautiful story about queerness and friendship and love and I recommend it to everyone because I just think it’s so good

6) wildhood

This movie fundamentally changed me. It’s a Canadian queer indigenous coming of age film that I watched on a whim when I was scrolling through a streaming service on a lazy weeknight a few years ago, and I didn’t expect it to be something so beautiful and touching. It’s about a young guy named link who finds out his mother (who left him with his abusive father) is alive, and so he crosses the province trying to find her with his younger half brother and someone who’d saved him from some racist convenience store owner. It’s a visually really pretty movie, and on top of that the story is absolutely beautiful and makes me cry every time I watch it. I think I’ve forced every single one of my friends to watch this movie all the while I stared at them like this 👁️👁️ to gauge their reaction to it. please please please watch this

7) to be taught if fortunate by becky chambers

this book!!!!!! THIS BOOK!!!! I had to read this for first year English my first year of university and normally books I’m forced to read are never ones that have a hold on me but I genuinely could not put this book down. I’m also not really one for science fiction, but despite the overall premise (a bunch of researchers get cryo slept in space only to awake and find that a disaster has happened on earth, wiping out a majority of the population) I feel like it focuses less on the science fiction and more so on the relationships between all of the astronauts, most of whom are queer and in a weird pseudo poly relationship with each other. idk I just thought this book was really beautiful and fun and I think everyone should read it

8) jojo’s bizarre adventure

look. this thing had to make it on here okay. I put off getting into jojo for a long time even though I’d been thoroughly aware of it even back in middle school, and when I finally caved I watched all of it in about two months, shaking and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure the whole time. it’s just so silly and fun and I think kishibe rohan should be real (he is)

I was going to add more but my brain somehow isn’t working so I’m going to do some honourable mentions again in no particular order: yakuza series, death note, after dark by haruki murakami, anything by Allen Ginsberg, kill your darlings, it’s always sunny in Philadelphia, fellow travellers (book and show)

Thank you so much for the ask!

[ere-the-sun-rises]

I've had to read "pretentious" literature for my studies and I've read plenty of regular and YA novels in my time. Here's the truth of it.

"The classics" of literature can be boring because they invented concepts we use all the time. It invents things that are basic to us now and revolutionary at the time. The Odyssey by Homer? The oldest example we have of a lot of common literary devices and tropes - flashbacks, in medias res, unreliable narrator (depending on your interpretation), deus ex machina, non-linear storytelling and meta-narrative just to list a few.

But "the classics" can also be amazing. I adore The Odyssey. Odysseus is a complex character who's heroic (in the Greek sense), clever and often quite kind. His wife and son are equally clever and thoughtful and his relationship with Athena is very compelling. It's a fun story with a lot of twists and turns, if you sit back enough to enjoy it for its own sake. (I highly recommend the Fagles translation on audiobook - it's narrated by Ian McKellen! And just reading the poem can be a bit unpleasant the first time.)

But YA can also be both boring and compelling. For example, I respect the Hunger Games books because they contain a nuanced and valuable perspective on fascism and regime change. I cannot stand reading them. I find Katniss and Peeta particularly hard to bear which is a shame because they're the main characters. I found the Divergent series to be absolutely worthless, like someone was asked to spit out drivel halfway between Hunger Games and Harry Potter but failed to take anything that made either of them appealing. On the opposite end if the spectrum, I found Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao so enthralling I could not put it down. I related to Zetian more than I ever have for an MC and I tasted her rage and revenge vividly.

All three of those books are in first person. They're all YA and they're all dystopian. And I only *wanted* to read one of them.

There's a lot to learn from books you don't *want* to read but *should*. A Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood is a fucking harrowing read, so viscerally uncomfortable, upsetting and disheartening that it's overwhelming at some points. It took me months to finish it because the trepidation of what new horror awaited me was so strong. I could not recommend it more highly and one day, when I can muster the courage, I'll read it again simply because it's worth reading twice.

As for first or third person, that's purely a matter of taste and perception. I usually hate 1st person - I don't read to become the main character, I read to look at the life and world of someone else. I much prefer 3rd person in every respect.

But Iron Widow and A Handmaid's Tale would not work in 3rd. They are deeply personal stories written about the individual experience of oppression. You *must* live this alongside them or else it's not as poignant. Similarly, The Odyssey would not be improved by Odysseus' thoughts - it's much more meaningful to show us what he does and his clever and resourceful he is as opposed to having him tell us so.

In my opinion, 1st is much harder to pull off because you have to like the MC enough to want to get in their head. You can put up with a shit MC in 3rd because you're not living with them, you're watching them, and the focus can go other places. But in 1st, you're stuck. Even with multiple 1st person MCs, if the writer can't pull off one, the second likely isn't going to fare much better.

So it comes down to subjective character likability and writer talent - neither of which is exclusive to YA or any genre.

[darius-dues]

November 3 -- Everyone's a Critic

Once Darius was able to get his scroll connected to Mundus internet, he had no problem in making his presence known. All of the below are canonically posted on Yelp.

Aldi (Next Town Over)

1/2 I cannot even begin to describe the harrowing and frankly awful experience this damnable hellhole provided. But for the sake of warning others, I will do my best. First of all, despite being reassured that the trip to Next Town Over (terrible name, by the way) would be a short one, it was anything but. The distance is far enough that walking would be all but a fool's errand, so secondary transportation is required--in this case, a bus, which was a wholly unpleasant struggle in and of itself. Not only were the timetables inscrutable, but I had to wait an entire 27 minutes just for it to arrive, plus an additional 9 minutes for the trip itself. I have extreme doubt of the cleanliness of this bus apparatus, as patrons shuffled in and out without their seat or any surfaces they had touched being wiped down. All of this was doubled on the way back. Once I arrived, I found that the structure and flow of the shoppe was not conducive to an efficient shopping experience. One might imagine, for instance, that goods would be separated according to a grouping of some kind, such as food, toiletries, amenities--instead, I found that everything was thrown to the wind with little thought at all. To buy a week's worth of vegetables, a carton of eggs, and sugar, I had to go to three different sections in vastly separated corridors with no rhyme or reason to how anything was placed. When I finally, mercifully, gathered what I needed, I was met with the most shocking offense of them all. Instead of being greeted by a shopkeep to complete the transaction, I was instead shuffled along to a series of automated devices that were meant to do it for me. Now, I have my thoughts on the Mundus desire to take the humanity out of everything for the sake of "efficiency", but there are some things that just cannot be replaced. A shopkeep is the heart of an establishment that connects with customers and facilitates the vitally crucial aspect of maintaining the relationships that allow a business to thrive. To cut that off at it's very source is an affront to everything it means to run a shop in the first place. It's a disgrace, and everyone at Aldi should be ashamed. Luckily, a kindhearted patron was able to assist in completing the transaction. So I suppose in a very roundabout way, the technology is fostering relationships between their customers, even if it's at the cost of the business itself. I would never recommend this place to my worst enemy. Be warned, dear reader, of a grocery store that is woefully located, dishearteningly ineffective, and utterly soulless. If I could give 0 starts, I would.

Mad Hatter's Tea Shoppe

★★★ I was recommended this establishment by a stranger, claiming that the drinks served here were better than those that could be provided by a machine. While that is a very low bar to clear, the Mad Hatter does this adequately. I had a ginger chai, which was flavorful and rich, though dulled down by the disposable cup it was served in. For the time it took to brew, I was hoping the quality would be higher. Still, one of the better establishments in town.

Whosits and Whatsits Antiques and Trinket Shoppe

★★★1/2 I went to this shop hoping to find an enchanted item that would help my palisman in the transition to a majority Mundus town. The selection was few and far between, and the overall cluster and layout of the shop made finding the appropriate wares difficult. I could not imagine how someone without keen perception would be able to tell the difference between a magical and non-magical item. However, the shopkeep was personable, relatively knowledgeable, and most importantly--present! That in itself deserves earns an extra half star.

Queen Bee

★★ I cannot speak for Mundus fashion trends, but I found the selection of clothing at this shop to be quite bland, with little flare or anything that could even be bothered to draw my attention. More , the prices were completely outrageous. While I was offered a "birthday discount" from the shopkeep, anything worth looking at had price tags in the hundreds. While the service was decent, the stock left much to be desired. Perhaps only for those with money to burn and nowhere important to be.

From Farm to Table

★★★1/2 From the name, I had assumed this establishment would be for groceries, and I went in with the hopes that it would perform better than its competition. I was surprised to learn this wasn't the case, as the wares included clothing, jewelry, and furniture. The price point is the most notable, as everything comes more cheaply than I have found everywhere else. However, you are getting what you pay for. Much of the stock is of poor quality, with cheap materials and used items. The shoppe itself has gone above and beyond to curate an aesthetic and pleasant atmosphere, which has been shockingly lacking thus far. That, in combination with admirable service, elevates it, despite its unremarkable selection.

Pizza Planet

★ Ever since I arrived in England, I have heard nothing but overflowing praise for pizza. Particularly, I was told by my students that Pizza Planet was the best place to go to try this mysterious but highly sought after cuisine. I entered the establishment and was met with a frankly overwhelming and unnerving experience. In between the strange lighting, off-putting atmosphere, and cacophony of sights and sounds, I found it extremely distracting in not only procuring but also eating my meal. Perhaps that played a part in my judgment, but I found that the food was not at all reminiscent of the extreme hype that was given. The messy nature of its consumption was wholly unpleasant and the taste left much to be desired. The thickened layer of grease that coated the top certainly did no favors to it or myself. I was beginning to wonder if my students had perhaps played a prank on me until I came to this page and once again found high praise, which is extremely confusing and disturbing. I can only chalk this up to a Mundus delicacy.

Garden Grove

★★ As a sorcerer, I have found it hard to find shoppes that accommodate for our highly specific needs. I went to Garden's Grove hoping to find what I needed for an intricate potion and was left disappointed. While they do provide certain magical flora, the selection left much to be desired. I was told by the apologetic shopkeep that stock was down due to the closing of the forest, and that usually they would have more to offer. I would contend that any business should consider the value of partnering with external vendors, particularly ones with exports that cannot be found anywhere else.

Al's Comic Barn

★ I'll admit, it was the name that drew me into this shoppe. Again, on my quest for a decent grocery store, I thought perhaps a barn would sell locally sourced produce or animal products, maybe even a bit of the advertised humor. What I discovered was not that, at all. I cannot find the words to describe what the titular Al is selling. Certainly nothing of value or import, as I've never once seen these products in my lifetime. Will have to assume these are Mundus oddities not meant to be understood by those outside of the lifestyle.

Swynlake Rock Shoppe

★★★1/2 In a Mundus majority town, there are not a lot of shoppes that cater to the needs of sorcerers. In that regard, this establishment felt like a breath of fresh air. Not only was I able to find what I needed, but I was also able to place orders for other materials in the future. The shopkeep was actually knowledgeable in a way that was encouraging and relieving. However, the layout of the shoppe was highly cluttered and ineffectual to the experience, thus losing half a star. At the very least, I will be returning.

Moon Market

★★★★ In comparison to what I am used to, this market does not particularly stand out. However, in comparison to the local competition, Moon Market is by far the only acceptable answer to the question of where one must get their groceries. In between the wide selection, fresh stock, appropriately placed goods, and actual customer service, the shoppe goes well and beyond what one might find in certain lesser establishments. As one shopkeep to another, I praise the staff of this business for a job well done and will be returning for all of my future needs.

[aminiatureworld]

Leaden Dreams

Characters: Albedo, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 1,908

Warnings: Vague depictions of sleep paralysis

Premise: In which the reader experiences sleep paralysis

Author’s Note: First time writing Kazuha! I just finished his story quest today, so I hope that I have an okay grasp on him. Still working on his talking style a bit but I adore his personality.

Also though I experience the part of sleep paralysis where you’re awake but can’t move (can’t recommend the experience) it’s usually during the day so I don’t really experience dreams. As of such if this is inaccurate in any ways I’m very sorry.

Albedo

Albedo knew about sleep paralysis on a theoretically level, knew that it was a phenomenon that caused one’s brain to awaken when the body was still fast asleep. He’d never given the concept much thought, not any more than he might any other bit of science that remained shelved in his mind.

Now that was certainly not the case.

Albedo knew the telltale signs, the small spasms that revealed the battle between your mind and your body. Knowing that you were fighting to move your limbs, open your eyes, relax your jaw, he would always speak first, knowing that you might not immediately respond.

“It’s alright my dear, I’m here. I know it’s frightening, but I promise you’ll be able to move soon. Just focus on one thing, alright? Maybe your eyes this time, since last time you tried moving your tongue. That’s it, just one thing first. It’s always better to start small.”

He wouldn’t move from his sleeping position until you regained control of your body, afraid that a sudden touch might cause you even more distress. Keeping himself carefully pressed into the mattress he didn’t fare lift his head, for fear his face might melt into something frightening. Since he knew he was helpless, his goal became to stop things from getting worse.

The moment you began to move however the alchemist would jump into action. Turning lights on he would pick up the glass of water from his nightstand before gathering you up into his arms, positioning himself so you could listen to his heartbeat as you drank. The first time it had happened he had left the room to get the glass to soon, and the memory of you curled up desperately into the covers still tugged at him.

Albedo would then go through what you had half-dreamed with you, thoroughly debunking all the distortions of your normal life. That shadowed human outside the window was a combination of the balcony and the half opened curtains. The voices were partially his own, partially your brain trying to process your own breathing. The figure hiding behind the door of the hallway was because of the boxed piled along the other side of the wall. The people dancing on the ceiling could be fixed with a repaint. Over and over he would remind you of the fact that you were safe, that your amygdala was simply going into overdrive. Over and over he would thoroughly debunk your nightmares until once more things settled into place, piles of clothing becoming one more fabric, dressers no longer dancing as if possessed.

He would tell you to wake him up if he began falling back to sleep, determined that he should be watching over you to make sure an episode didn’t happen as you were falling back asleep.

In reality though you didn’t mind if he drifted off a little before you. His breathing was a soothing melody, his slow, steady heartbeat a rhythm with which you could anchor yourself. He was staid and sure, and that was something you grasped onto desperately, something you would never stop appreciating.

Soon enough his reasons would soothe your mind, and you’d fall once more asleep.

 Kazuha

The first thing Kazuha always did was pull the blankets over you. If the outside world was threatening you, then he’d simply block it out.

Making a cocoon around the two of you he would begin to tell stories. Fairy tales, things that had happened to him during his travels, anything that you brain might latch onto. The stories were always very short and self-contained, easy to understand, and through your panic addled brain you always seemed to find them.

Sometimes when things were particularly bad he’d softly cradled your hands, careful not to move to quickly or too suddenly in case the sensation caused you to panic even more.

“Our hands fit together so well, don’t you think? I could write a poem about them, or maybe about yours. Maybe you’ll help me with it after this is over? It will be soon dearest, I know it will.”

Sometimes he would sing little songs that he’d picked up. Usually sea shanties, their rhythm helped you, less complex than poetry, more lyrical than the jagged fear that screamed at you.

Kazuha wouldn’t ask you to share immediately. When you finally moved he would first squeeze your hands gently, kissing them before your forehead, asking if it was too hot beneath the blankets, then making sure a light was on if you needed a little fresh air.

He never acknowledged what had happened before you did, but he wouldn’t pretend like it didn’t happen either. Instead he would ask if you wanted to listen to a story or tell one. Whichever you chose he would keep holding your hands, making sure that even when he gave you space there was still something that grounded you.

Sometimes when you cried he would tell a very specific story.

“There once was a warrior, brave of heart. So brave were they that shadows tried to chase them. Someone this noble cannot exist! They cried out. The warrior must be false. We will find their weakness. However no matter how hard they tried this weakness was never found. For the warrior was truly brave in heart and soul.”

Normally you might consider such a story overdone, but in those liminal moments between fear and sleep the story format helped. This was simply a harrowing part of a story, but there would surely be a better end.

 Scaramouche

Scaramouche never thought that he’d ever sleep next to you.

Humans were loud and irritating, and that only became more true when the Harbinger was trying to get a few precious hours of sleep.

However after a particularly bad week he decided that the only solution to your terrible lack of attention was to deal with the matter himself.

He wasn’t necessarily nice about it, grumbling about your poor sleeping habits, saying that this was an awful waste of time. However the moment that panic consumed you, the moment that things started to twist around you, you felt a sudden hand on your arm.

“These idiotic phantoms are nothing. Come on, I know you’re strong enough. How could you ever let something so puny win against you.”

Though you certainly didn’t agree with him about that you had to admit it helped somewhat. Though your initial panic never disappeared, it became easier to climb out of your dreams, to see a light at the end of the endless tunnel of fear.

Every time you jerked once more awake Scaramouche let himself admit some sort of relieved satisfaction.

“You’ve done it again. As you always have. I don’t know why I bother sleeping here when you’re competent enough on your own.”

Nevertheless Scaramouche would always let you embrace him, not commenting on the tears that often accompanied you. Loosely resting his arms on your back he let out exaggerated breaths.

“Will you sleep now?”

It didn’t matter if you said no. Scaramouche would simply mutter something about bad sleep habits, but he would nevertheless stay awake.

He would always fall asleep last, even when his eyes burned slightly and his body called out for rest.

If he was going through all this trouble after all, he might as well see it through to the end.

 Xiao

Xiao saw dreams as extensions of human karma, of human wants and needs and wishes.

If a human dreamt a good wish, it was a revelation of their hearts desire. If they tossed and turned with nightmares it was their fears and shames manifesting. A dream was never just a dream, a shuffle of random events and names and faces. Dreams were alive; dreams had their own wills, all connected to the will of the human they were attached too.

Xiao loathed to see you haunted by your dreams. How could someone so wonderful as your be chased by something so awful? The little that you told your partner caused a distant sort of dread. He could never understand your fear of falling asleep, but he surely felt the dread of whether or not you might be allowed peace.

The threads that surrounded you, that surrounded all humans, always tensed when you were entering an episode. Careful not to leave your side too much Xiao would light a few candles, not too much to be jarring to your eyes, not too little to add to your nightmares. If you could only open your eyes then Xiao would pay even more attention, making sure that the dim lighting didn’t add to your distress, shifting the candles or blowing them out if need be.

Xiao didn’t talk much normally, but he would keep up a steady stream of questions in these moments, even if you couldn’t answer them. Whether you were aware of his presence, whether the window being open was a problem or not, whether you needed more light or less. He would keep these questions in the back of his mind for you to answer once you could again, not only so he could do better next time, but in case the nightmares we too close to be spoken about.

Usually Xiao would ask about them again in the morning, and sometimes you would discuss it then. Though the yaksha knew that nightmares were often the fears that humans accumulated, the curses that attached themselves to unsuspecting victims, he never talked about that aspect with you, indeed when he talked about it at all. Most of the time he would just listen, tracing soft circles along your back and down your arms.

Right after an episode Xiao would make his way over to you. Most of the time he would stay in one place while the episode was happening, near the candles or by the window, making sure he didn’t startle you anymore. Now though he might move every once in a while, or turn your head softly towards him if your eyes became fixated on one spot in the room. Always he’d go to open the window, and the familiarity of the routine became something that lulled you back into a sense of piece.

Not sleeping himself Xiao never told you that you need more rest, that you should go back to sleep. If you needed to stay up the rest of the night so be it, he would be there with you. If you were too tired and found yourself drifting off to sleep he would promise to protect you, to fight off any demons that might be lurking.

Sometimes Xiao feared that his burden of curses exacerbated your sleep paralysis. Those evenings he would wait for you to sleep before slipping away. Always he would leave his sleeve and his mask, making sure that if you woke up you would still have something of his presence to comfort or protect yourself with. Those nights he would stare out into Liyue and think about all the things that he carried with him, all the things that you did too.

Regardless of those nights he would be there in the morning.

“Did you sleep well afterwards?” He would always ask. Regardless of your answer, which he would surely pay attention to after his second question, he would stare into your eyes.

“Do you think things would be easier without my presence?”

Always you said no.

[sendme-2hell]

Rating the Books I read after Gideon the Ninth (in order) by how well they made me forget my Gideon the Ninth angst

I starred the ones that I actually recommend if you want something similar to gtn.

I was bored so I made this. Mostly just so I can look back at this and laugh at myself in a few months and remember what I’ve read. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

**Harrow the Ninth -Tamsyn Muir 

Summary: A depressed girl has to navigate murder attempts by both the mom and the dad of her dead ex-girlfriend who she can’t remember. She tries to make soup and writes fanfic to cope. 

How well it helped me forget: -100/10 but also 10/10 

Rating explanation: This one gets a 10/10 because it did make me feel better about a *particular* GTN plotpoint which I was very angsty about, but tragically it did make me more feral. After reading it I reread both books so I don’t think it helped me forget my angst. 

Similar themes to GTN: all of it, plus more memes 

I Want to Be Where The Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom 

Summary: Rachel Bloom who wrote the world’s most relatable song: “You Stupid Bitch,” and starred/created in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, writes about having anxiety, feeling like she’s not normal, and Harry Potter fanfic.

How well it helped me forget: 8/10

Rating explanation: For a few minutes I actually did forget about my griddlehark angst while I learned more about Bloom’s life and laughed at the painful relatability of it all. 

Similar themes to TLT: ummm depression, feeling very out of place, memes

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters

Summary: The book The Handmaiden was based on. A girl is sent to become a Lady’s handmaiden to con her out of some money. She falls in love. Many plot twists. 

How well it helped me forget: 5/10

Rating explanation: I was sadly still thinking about TLT the whole time I read this. I liked it but I actually like the Handmaiden better because the women spend more time together. Like in this book, I wish that Harrow and Gideon could spend more time together. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, at some point you realize the main character’s love interest understands what’s going on way more than the main character

Kindred - Octavia Butler 

Summary: Very dark book about slave narratives. I cannot make a joke here, but this book is excellent. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10 

Rating explanation: Again, I can’t make a joke. But Octavia Butler is amazing. 

Ash - Malinda Lo 

Summary: A wlw retelling of Cinderella with fairies and an emphasis on stories 

How well it helped me forget:7/10

Rating explanation: This was really quick and fun and I definitely was rooting for the lesbians. Also it was nice it had a happy ending! If you liked Crier’s War (which I did), this was clearly an influence for Nina Varela. 

Similar themes: wlw, the magic one + the fighting one dynamic

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel

Summary: A deadly pandemic wipes out so many people that the world spins into chaos and no one can figure out how to use electricity apparently? But the book is really about fame and wanting to be remembered. Go figure.

How well it helped me forget: -10/10 

Rating explanation: Ok that’s not fair. It helped me forget about Gideon and Harrow but it did NOT help me forget about Corona. It was technically good and a lot of people I respect love it, but either because I was still thinking about TLT or because it was about a pandemic, I couldn’t really enjoy it. 

Similar themes: post-apocalyptic 

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 

Summary: The Prince of England and The son of the president of the US are enemies. They are definitely enemies.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: This was such a fun read that it almost distracted me! Tragically I was in such TLT headspace that I kept pausing to read fanfics where Gideon and Harrow switch eyes. 

Similar themes: Enemies to lovers, queer

Troubling Love - Elena Ferrante 

Summary: In true Elena Ferrante fashion, an event spurs an Italian woman to do a lot of internal processing and have some flashbacks. 

How well it helped me forget: 7/10

Rating explanation: This book was a bit disturbing so it distracted me in that way. Plus I love Elena Ferrante’s writing so much that it felt like coming home to an old friend. Unfortunately for me, this is Elena Ferrante’s least queer book. I know because I have now read them all. Her most queer book, The Lying Life of Adults, would have distracted me better. Also just using this space to tell anyone who’s still reading this (probably no one) to go read My Brilliant Friend (and the corresponding Neopolitan Novels). They are not similar to TLT except they are vaguely queer and about competitive friendships where the girls are obsessed with each other in maybe an unhealthy way. Ok so a bit similar. Genuinely my favorite books ever. 

Similar themes: mommy issues, daddy issues, childhood trauma

On This Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous -Ocean Vuong

Summary: A Vietnamese immigrant reflects on his mother, grandmother, and his own life experience in the US. It is poetic and beautiful and will make you cry. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This book is beautiful. It really changes how you think about the US. Plus really interesting stuff about the western way of telling stories. Cannot recommend it enough, though very little to do with TLT. 

Similar themes: queer, stuff about language, childhood trauma, you will cry

**The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: OK sorry none of those were good suggestions for what to read after GTN. THIS is what you should read after GTN. It is an incredibly slow burn wlw enemies to lovers. There are dragons, there is magic, there are very cool female characters who I am in love with. This is like Game of Thrones but if it was good, queer, and only one 800 page book. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Enemies to lovers!!!! What more do I have to say? Also very cool world-building, interesting religious themes. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, religious themes, magic, very old wizard milfs, also mlm

*The Traitor Baru Cormorant 

Summary: Baru is a very smart girl in a colonized island. She decides she will play the game of the colonizers, rise up in their society, and destroy them from within. How is that going, Baru? 

How well it helped me forget: 100/10

Rating explanation: This DID make me forget TLT. The only book to truly make me. It made me forget so badly that I wanted my Griddlehark angst BACK. GIVE ME IT BACK I don’t wanna feel sad about Baru anymore. I cannot recommend it more, it is so good, but it did make me ugly cry. It also made me majorly depressed about colonization and the state of the world. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, ending will make you cry

*The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru is depressed, has brain damage, throws up a lot, is sad about (redacted), does some things without remembering them because there’s something going on in her brain. Sound familiar? It’s kinda like Harrow the Ninth but more depressing. Oh also a lot of new characters are introduced, old characters come back, a lot of setup for the next book. Euler’s identity shows up out of nowhere?! 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Again, it made me forget but only because I was so engrossed in this story. Also kinda depressed. This book is kinda depressing. But Baru is very fun to be around, and there are some other great characters. Marry me, Yawa. 

Similar themes: again, this is just harrow the ninth on steroids, I am in love with every single woman in this series

*The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru makes a new bestie, reunites with an old bestie, and discovers a dead bestie in her brain!

How well it helped me forget: 1000/10

Rating explanation: I loved this book. There were a few scenes I reread >four times. This book makes the other books in the series worth it. 

Similar themes: please see my venn diagram comparing tlt, baru, and A memory called empire for more information

*The Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo 

Summary: A girl has seen ghosts her whole life and because of that, gets accepted at Yale even though she didn’t finish high school. Yale is like a hotspot for ghosts I guess. It’s dark academia, the girl has a secret, the narrator is pretty funny.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: I was trying to get distracted from TLT (and Baru at this point), but it’s hard to forget about Harrow and Gideon in a book called The Ninth House (hello?). It was enjoyable and there was some good humor. I’m curious about the next book in the series when it comes out. It is not wlw unless you squint (which I do). 

Similar themes: debatably wlw body posession, nine houses, the ninth one being important, nerd boy who reminds me of pal, woman is revealed to be MUCH older than I originally thought, soul eating, revenants, tombs, necromancy, character named Mercy

The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: It’s the future and London is a hotspot for clairvoyants. Paige is a woman who has a special gift and can jump into people’s bodies and possess them briefly (among other things, this is a terrible explanation). Because of this, she is sent to a secret part of the city where clairvoyants are trained to be monster fighters (but also like, kept there in captivity against their will). Unlike every other book on this list I honestly wouldn’t recommend. I know there are other books in the series. If you’ve read on and it gets better let me know. (I know no one has gotten this far reading this but still)

How well it helped me forget: 4/10

Rating explanation: This one was disappointing because I loved Priory of the Orange Tree so much. This book did not distract me from my griddlehark or barhu feels. There’s also a character named Warden so I thought about SexPal a lot. 

Similar themes: enemies to lovers, ghosts, possession, queer but only background characters 

****The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood 

Summary: A girl is in an isolated cult that wants her to die as a sacrifice (sound familiar?). A definitely not evil wizard helps her escape. She meets a cute necromancer who’s also kinda from a cult. She goes on some gay adventures, gets the help of a morally grey older necromancer (who I’m in love with), and fights with her frenemy. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This is the most similar to TLT on this list. Gideon and Csorwe would be friends. Seriously I recommend this! And the second book comes out soon! And it’s not sad like TLT or Baru! 

Similar themes: sword lesbian + necromancer dynamic, wlw enemies to lovers, cults, tombs, necromancy, character named “the sleeper”, also mlm

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue - V. E. Schwab 

Summary: Adeline Larue made a deal with a demon in 1714 France, because she wanted to see the world and stuff. It backfires of course. She is immortal but no one remembers her. This causes all sorts of problems and makes her very angsty. The narrative flashes between her going through the years, and her falling in love with the only person who will remember her. 

How well it helped me forget: 2/10

Rating explanation: I know people loved this book but I did not. I liked the last 50 pages, I’ll give it that. I wish it was more queer (it was a little queer). 

Similar themes: as I said, a little wlw, immortality, demons, I guess falling in love with someone and them not remembering you now that I think about it 

Sula - Toni Morrison 

Summary: A story about two black women in the 1920’s-1960’s in an Ohio town. It is really great and interesting. It is a book about complicated female friendships (among so many other things that better writers not writing a list no one will read about their TLT feels have outlined) which I love. I was told I should read this after the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante and it did not disappoint. Same vibes. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This was just a great book. Has really nothing to do with TLT

Similar themes: debatably queer 

*Murderbot Diaries: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect,  - Martha Wells

Summary: Muderbot is an artificial construct who just wants to be left alone to watch tv, damnit! It doesn’t want to interact with humans, and it definitely does not want to talk about feelings. Too bad some humans want to become friends with it.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: These books were so good. They did help me forget! The books are really about having anxiety, making friends, and letting yourself have feelings. Also they are SO FUNNY. Highly recommend. In the way that I love Gideon’s POV, I love Murderbot’s POV

Similar themes: funny narrator, queer characters, space, people who don’t want to deal with their feelings being forced to deal with their feelings

*A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine 

Summary: Mahit is sent a dangerous, evil empire to be an ambassador. Lots of beautiful writing about colonialism, assimilation, language, and culture.There is gay angst and funny characters. I am once again in love with a morally grey older woman character. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Yes this book is great and did distract me from gtn (mostly. I did end up reading a great fanfic about wake, g1deon, and pyrrah in the middle but otherwise...). It is part of my holy trilogy of wlw books (this, baru, tlt) that I just read recently. The next book comes out on March 2nd so it will be a good distraction from waiting for Alecto. Like Baru, it made me feel like shit about colonialism but unlike the other two books in my trilogy (redacted but if you’ve read those books you know) didn’t happen. It had a not too sad ending. 

Similar themes: see my venn diagram, but seriously what is going on with brain surgery in these books...

*The Luminous Dead - Cailtin Starling 9/10

Summary: A woman needs money and to get the money she goes on a risky cave dive. It turns out the only contact she has with the rest of the world is a woman who’s kinda a dick. It’s 400 pages of creepy cave diving and these two women talking to each other. It’s creepy and uncomfortable and I loved it. I did spend the whole book thinking it would be such a good story podcast.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: It did make me forget about tlt! There are some kinda boring parts but it pays off. The relationship between the two main characters is very interesting (though a bit fucked up). 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, traumatised characters, shitty moms

[tlt-holiday-exchange]

Forgive me, but I’m shy, anxious, and never been part of a fic exchange before so I need some clarification. When it set says I can request up to three prompts, does that mean I go through the nomination form three times? Also, how exactly does one offer to write for a prompt (or multiple)? Is it the same process or different? If it is the same, how does one differentiate? Thank you in advance.

No worries! This is the first time the mods are running a fic exchange to, so there's new experiences all around.

Nominations and sign ups are two separate steps. Nominations adds characters, relationships, and additional tags to the TLT Holiday Fic Exchange tagset on AO3. The tagset is linked to the AO3 Collection and the tagset is where participants will pull characters, relationships, and additional tags for their prompts during sign up. This is done so the system can easily match people with each other once sign ups are done.

I'm going to break this down into a longer explanation. Please bear with me.

PART 1: NOMINATIONS

Opening October 17, 2021 (tomorrow!) and stays open until October 24, 2021. Participants add tags to the fic exchange tagset on AO3. This will happen at this link. These tags inform the prompts you'll be requesting and offering during sign ups. So think carefully about what you would like to like to request (i.e. enemies-to-lovers, Gideon/Harrow/Ianthe, alternate universe, etc.) and nominate those things on the tagset. The mod team will be approving tags once or twice a day, so participants can check the tagset as it's being built throughout the week and nominate tags that they want that are not already there.

PART 2: SIGN UPS

Open on October 25, 2021 and stay open until October 31, 2021 (Halloween). Sign ups are closing at midnight PST. You can check when that will be for you at this nifty time zone converter.

The sign up form comes in two parts. These parts are all on one page.

Part one is requests. You can request up to three prompts. The form is fairly straightforward in that each prompt will have its own labelled section with fields for you to fill in. If you are not seeing three prompt sections right away, there's a button that says "ADD PROMPT" that can be clicked.

Part two is offers, or what you are willing to write for a recipient. Some examples of things you can offer are "Gideon/Harrow, any scenario" or "Cam/Pal, modern setting" or "Mercymorn, character study." These are intentionally vague because the requested prompt is the main driver. The mod team recommends that you offer to write specific characters or relationships as opposed to trying to make a detailed prompt here.

You have a week to submit your sign up. During that week, you can modify your sign up as much as you want. After Sunday, October 31, your sign up is locked in and cannot be changed.

PART 3: ASSIGNMENTS

This exchange is using OR matching. That means that only one of your offers has to match one of your recipient's prompts, and vice versa. This is where the tagset's magic comes in. I (one of the mods) do not have the technical know-how for a detailed explanation of how matching works on the back end. I just know it's automatic and the tagset will help it so much. (This is a big reason why we decided to do this on AO3).

As for you, the participant(s). You will receive an email with your assignment by November 5, 2021. We hope to do it earlier than that, but we're all volunteers so that's entirely dependent on our schedules that week. Once assignments for this exchange are sent, you can also view it on your AO3 profile.

You have until January 3, 2022 to write a magical fic for your recipient. I cannot stress this enough: they will be so happy.

###

I hope this was helpful. If you have further questions, do not hesitate to send further asks!

[tricktster]

Honestly, I cannot say enough about my german study abroad program, in no small part because the people i met through it were the wildest bunch i have ever met. We had:

Me, a cursed American stumbling through increasingly unlikely and unfortunate situations, including:

getting arrested and hauled off in a cop car for the serious crime of not transcribing the five digit number printed on the back of my bus ticket onto the front of my bus ticket

slipping on dog poop on a crowded street while running late for class (leading a number of tourists to run over and photograph me in my undignified heap on the cobblestones) only to suffer one final indignity when i had to leave my poop shoe out in the hall outside the classroom, and subsequently discovered after class that it had been (correctly) identified as garbage by the custodian, and had been disposed of

spending the entire month of November with essentially no money after a bank error caused me to be cut off from my US checking account, thereby forcing me to figure out how to survive by my wits alone in a series of schemes, cons, and 1€ sausages

burning my thumb so badly on an oven in an attempt to make the world’s worst stuffing for the world’s saddest expat thanksgiving that my friends all had an intervention where they gave me a single black glove to wear because it was grossing them all out.

Enough about me. There were also my closest friends:

L , a horrendously wealthy New Englander who would drop lines in her stories like “so we were all smoking opium in my parents library,” and, “so every time my room gets too dirty, i just move to the next one down until the whole wing is filthy.” In spite of everything I’ve just said, she was also a genuinely good and incredibly fearless person who would throw fists without hesitation if she thought anyone was insulting her friends. She had a weird sexual relationship with her obscenely wealthy family friend in Frankfurt, which the rest of us suspected maybe been part of a business deal that their parents arranged at birth. It was better than Game of Thrones, honestly.

Y, a four foot tall Puerto Rican that I met when we were both walking down the street kind of near each other and some wild impulse called me to say to her, without so much as an introduction, “Yeah, you walk pretty cool, but if you wanna walk REAL cool, you gotta do it like thissssss,” while kinda lunging around. Just as inexplicably, she chose to continue talking to me, and several months later the two of us ended up making a harrowing 2:00 am escape from the private bar of a frat house that we had suddenly noticed had an awful lot of Nazi memorabilia on the walls for a frat located in a country that had criminalized the display of Nazi symbols. “Why are you leaving?” The frat-nazis complained as we bolted. “You will come back tomorrow afternoon for the barbecue, ja?” “Ahahhahaha nein fucking way, motherfucker,” Y muttered under her breath as we smiled and nodded politely all the way out the private garden, through the enormous iron gates, and out into the night. Once we were in the clear, we stared at each other, shaken, until Y broke the silence. “Welp. Those guys were Nazis. That actually just happened. I can’t.... man, I dunno, i’m still processing, let’s just go get some fucking falafel.”

We did.

S, the Australian, who one time invited me over to her apartment, opened the fridge, grabbed a plate of cheese, shoved it under my nose while going “HERE SMELL THIS!” and while i lurched away, gagging, cheerfully added “IT’S REALLY FOUL, RIGHT? ONE OF THE WOST THINGS I’VE EVER SMELLED!!” She was also absolutely obsessed with High School Musical, and was very disappointed every time the Americans shattered one of her illusions about the US public school system.

K, the girl from New Zealand, who had broken up with her serious boyfriend shortly before leaving for Germany, causing her to mourn his loss every time she got drunk by describing his penis with increasingly strange metaphors, such as “like a big wax candle but part of it’s gone,” and “like one leg off a spider.”

So, i had a pretty solid crew of five big weirdos. But there were, naturally, more people than the five of us in our program. For example:

R, from Minnesota, who dressed like she was about 72 and glared at anyone who was laughing too loudly near her because “i just don’t think jokes are funny.” More importantly, she would post facebook videos of herself reciting, entirely sincerely and in a steady monotone, the worst fucking poems that I have ever heard. She posted them under a pen name that was along the same lines as “the lyrical falcon.” She was in a feud with not one but two poetry clubs at her christian college, and while she never admitted this, all evidence suggested that it was because they both kicked her out. She was the Tommy Wisseau of poems. They were so bad they looped back around to good. Also, one time on the train she told me that she liked to think that she was a very good kisser because she played the french horn so she had strong mouth muscles. when i finally recovered from the mortal blow that she just delivered my soul, I asked her if she blew into people when she kissed them, and she got so insulted that she blocked me from her facebook poetry page. let me back in, R. please, if you’re reading this, let me back in.

They’re good poems, R.

Zoolander, from Pennsylvania, who was so, so handsome, but so, so, so dumb. One time he told me about this dream he had, and it was just an entire episode of Dexter’s lab. No changes or anything, he just... dreamed that he was watching that episode, and then the whole thing played in his head until it was done. He said it was the best dream he’d ever had. I once watched him pick up the same coin off the street four times because he couldn’t figure out that his pocket had a hole in it. When he noticed me, he said excitedly “Somebody left money everywhere!”

Juan, who constantly confused all the kids from Spain who went up to talk to him in their native tongue, only to discover that he was a very sarcastic man from Liverpool who didn’t speak a word of Spanish and was sick of everyone trying to bond with him. He only liked the Americans, because that’s where the tv show Family Guy was from, and only the Americans liked him, because we tend to like surly british assholes for basically no reason. At the end of the program while we were all saying our goodbyes, he came up to me, looking really upset. “I can’t believe it,” He said, uncharacteristically serious. “I can’t believe it’s all over and i’ll never...” He looked like he was about to cry.

“Oh, dude, we can keep in touch on facebook or something?” I fumbled. He blinked.

“What? No, no, ugh, it’s just the last day of the program and I’ve LOST MY FOOKIN SCARF!” he roared.

God, I know this is weird, but I still really miss that guy.

The Croatian: There was a dude from Croatia in my apartment building who outright refused to tell me his name, because, “It’s an embarrassing word in English. You’d laugh.” I badgered him for five months, until finally, his defenses down, after many earnest promises that no matter what his name was, I would not laugh, he relented.

“My name is Tin.” He said sheepishly.

His name was fucking Tin.

Beardy, Beardo, Redbeard, and Weirdbeard: four drastically different young men from all across our beautiful planet who had one thing in common: thinking that they’d try out a beard while they were abroad. We always admired them from a distance, and compared their beards’ various unique and bad properties, until one day Beardy (who was australian and had developed a sort of flesh colored goatee) walked up to S, his countryman, in a club. “DO YOU WANT TO DANCE?” he yelled, trying to get her attention, but she was in a dance-off with K, and didn’t notice, so he tapped her shoulder. She whirled around, startled, and upon recognizing him, said without thinking, “OH, HI BEARDY!”

The song faded out.

Beardy stared at S.

“...Did you just call me ‘Beardy?’” he asked quietly. S looked like a deer in the headlights. She glanced towards me, hoping for an out, but I, dear reader, was laughing too hard to be of any use.

“You did,” he went on, “you called me ‘Beardy!’ Why!?”

“Cuz of your beard, probably. That’s a better name for you than Josh.” Zoolander interjected from out of nowhere, strolling out of the club, a beautiful woman on each arm.

“My name isn’t Josh...” Beardy tried to call after him.

“Who’s name isn’t Josh? Oh! Beardy!” A drunk K could be heard deducing from the back of the room.

He shaved it a week later, but the damage was done. He was Beardy for the rest of the semester.

When I look back on that period of my life now, I can’t help but reflect - with the clarity one only gets from experience - that my time in Germany was not as weird as I thought it was at the time. I lacked the perspective to see that it was all, actually, absolutely bonkers batshit nuts. It was some sitcom shit.

All in all, I highly recommend it.

[harrowdubois]

okay, i said if there was interest i would think about making a post listing all the references i squeezed into the locked tomb fic i spent the last month or so writing, and now i’ve realised i don’t care if there’s interest because i want to be self-indulgent SO

under the cut is a (somewhat spoilery) chronological list of all the memes, vines, and cribbed tumblr posts, as well as homages to various books, tv shows, song lyrics, etc. that made their way into blessed with a wilder mind! 

(cw for suicide mention)

this is of course a reference to the legendary bodybuilding forum thread where they did, actually, argue over how many days there are in a week (cw for ableist slurs in the thread)

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buzzfeed unsolved meme. i am dirt and i love to eat dirt

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this is so well-known it’s almost not worth listing it but oh my god they were roommates

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in itself, this isn’t a reference to anything in particular, but if you didn’t do this on your first read then i’d recommend taking another look at this scene and thinking about the specific wuthering heights/frankenstein/rebecca excerpts discussed by harrow and mercymorn but in relation to canon!harrow’s trauma/relationship with the body in htn :~) 

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also not really a reference to anything in particular but when i looked back over the fic for this post it struck me that the ‘sex panther’ phrasing was probably at least partially unconsciously inspired by the shoebox project (professor mcgonagall’s oiled man panther was a formative moment for me, truly)

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cw gross/unsanitary: it’s the tinder poop window incident. i mentioned this in the end notes of the fic as being what i had in mind for that scene but if it’s too gross for you (UNDERSTANDABLY) then feel free to Death Of The Author me to your heart’s content!

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i listened to a lot of orville peck while writing this

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 very very very loosely inspired by this clickhole article

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respectively: fourth of july by sufjan stevens / wuthering heights by emily bronte

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TWO BROS, CHILLIN IN A HOT TUB, FIVE FEET APART BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT GAY

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there was absolutely no need to stretch this across three paragraphs, and yet

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iconic

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i already linked to this one in the end notes of the fic itself, but it’s good, so here it is again

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 i can’t find the actual original post but it’s this fucking horrible thing 

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the last line is a reference to the secret history by donna tartt:

“Could it be because it reminds us that we are alive, of our mortality, of our individual souls- which, after all, we are too afraid to surrender but yet make us feel more miserable than any other thing? But isn't it also pain that often makes us most aware of self? It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from the world, that no one and no thing hurts along with one's burned tongues and skinned knees, that one's aches and pains are all one’s own. Even more terrible, as we grow old, to learn that no person, no matter how beloved, can ever truly understand us. Our own selves make us most unhappy, and that's why we're so anxious to lose them, don't you think?”

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a lyrical double whammy!

from ‘last words of a shooting star’ by mitski: “they’ll never know how i’d stared at the dark in that room with no thoughts like a blood-sniffing shark”

from ‘a better son/daughter’ by rilo kiley: “sometimes in the morning i am petrified but can’t move/awake but cannot open my eyes” 

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*

shout-out to maybe my single favourite video game moment, the encounter with the sky cat in night in the woods: “There is a hole at the center of everything, and it is always growing. Between the stars I am seeing it. It is coming, and you are not escaping, and the universe is forgetting you, and the universe is being forgotten, and there is nothing to remember it, not even the things beyond. And now there is only the hole... You are atoms, and your atoms are not caring if you are existing. Your atoms are monstrous existence.”

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“Nothing is ever fulfilled, not until the very end.” - rust cohle, true detective s1, this reference is VERY tonally dissonant because in context it’s actually grim as all hell but w/e w/e i couldn’t resist the shout-out

also harrow quotes from the goldfinch again here! i had the reference included before i read this post and realised tamsyn muir also quotes from the secret history in htn. terrible synergy 

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they are in fact all real. you’re welcome

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this one’s doing a lot of work lmao. it’s paying homage to this quote by tamsyn muir talking about the draco-in-leather-pants trope in relation to ianthe by loosely referencing drop dead gorgeous, the best drarry fic ever written, in which harry is part veela

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“It's a very Greek idea, and a very profound one. Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves? Euripides speaks of the Maenads: head thrown I back, throat to the stars, "more like deer than human being." To be absolutely free! One is quite capable, of course, of working out these destructive passions in more vulgar and less efficient ways. But how glorious to release them in a single burst! To sing, to scream, to dance barefoot in the woods in the dead of night, with no more awareness of mortality than an animal! These are powerful mysteries. The bellowing of bulls. Springs of honey bubbling from the ground. If we are strong enough in our souls we can rip away the veil and look that naked, terrible beauty right in the face; let God consume us, devour us, unstring our bones. Then spit us out reborn.” - that’s right it’s another reference to the secret history, with a little bit of mary oliver (tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?) sprinkled on top for flavour

--- 

a small one, but it’s the goldfinch again: “And I feel I have something very urgent and serious to say to you, my non-existent reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you...”

---

my FUCKING cinnamon apple

 what if i... put my minecraft bed.... next to yours... aha ha just kidding.... unless?

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[cw: suicide discussion in these next two]

*

robyn can have little a rust cohle quote, as a treat.

1. “I'd consider myself a realist, all right? But in philosophical terms I'm what's called a pessimist... I think human consciousness is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law... We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self, that accretion of sensory experience and feelings, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody's nobody... I think the honorable thing for our species to do is to deny our programming. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction; one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.”

2. “This... This is what I'm talking about. This is what I mean when I'm talkin' about time, and death, and futility. All right, there are broader ideas at work, mainly what is owed between us as a society for our mutual illusions. Fourteen straight hours of staring at DBs, these are the things you think of. You ever done that? You look in their eyes, even in a picture, doesn't matter if they're dead or alive, you can still read 'em. You know what you see? They welcomed it... Not at first, but... right there in the last instant. It's an unmistakable relief. See, cause they were afraid, and now they saw for the very first time how easy it was to just... let go. Yeah, they saw, in that last nanosecond, they saw... what they were. You, yourself, this whole big drama, it was never more than a jerry-rig of presumption and dumb will, and you could just let go. To finally know that you didn't have to hold on so tight. To realize that all your life - you know, all your love, all your hate, all your memories, all your pain - it was all the same thing. It was all the same dream, a dream that you had inside a locked room, a dream about being a person.”

---

ahaaa this one’s particularly rough. evil monkey no one alive dot jpg

“Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see or feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they’d never got much farther than that. Let be, let be.” - annie proulx, brokeback mountain

---

a TRIPLE lyrical whammy!

- harrow’s words to gideon in the dream are a bit of a vague reference to the song ‘adventures in solitude’ by the new pornographers (”we thought we lost you/welcome back”) - gideon’s words to harrow are a reference to the song ‘blush’ by wolf alice (”you’ve got two hands to take all you can/but don’t take too long”) - what harrow texts to gideon is a line from ‘about today’ by the national, aka the most devastating song ever written (”hey, are you awake?/yeah i’m right here”...)

---

i CANNOT find a clip of it but harrow’s repetition of “life is short... it’s short” was me paraphrasing from memory a line from pride (2014), because i am the worst

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spooky scary skeletons! 

“jail for gideon” is obviously a reference to the “jail for mother” tweet that tm also referenced in htn. so, not original in the slightest, but it’s a great tweet

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one of my favourite tumblr posts

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because naberius tern absolutely would watch rick and morty. he would. i know it in my heart. 

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and that’s it, i think. hope you enjoyed this horrid little post and my horrid little fic!

[mywitchcultblr]

The chantry is right and mages should be in the circle. Solas and anders are terrorists and anyone who believes they arent is delusional or a hypocrite. Anders killed a hundred innocent civillian non combatants and solas wants to tear down the veil killing millions in the process. But yes we should let the people causing firestorms and summoning demons go completely un supervised

                                                         MY FIRST ARGUMENT AGAINST A TEMPLAR BOOTLICKER! YAAY!

 @lordaspoons Ok listen, first of all, I'm not felassan nor dalishlicious, my writings style is different and not as good as them, and I love to use a lot of profanities in my writings, so if you ever find ‘shit ‘ or ‘fuck’ in a post, not sorry  I SWEAR THIS POST HAVE MORE THAN 7K WORDS!   That’s why it took MONTHS for me to answer it 

TEMPLAR AND CHANTRY ARE GOD-AWFUL AND CIRCLE IS NOT NECESSARY 

Let’s see the canonical narrative okay? Let's take a look at Dragon Age keep descriptions of each MAGES heroes story and background.

Mage Hawke:

The son of Malcolm Hawke and Leandra Amell, Garrett has lived in many places throughout Ferelden. His father was a mage whose gifts were passed onto both Garrett and Bethany, Malcolm's daughter.

Malcolm refused to submit himself to the Chantry's rule; he kept his abilities a secret and taught his children to do the same.

Therefore, the family was constantly on the move to avoid templar hunters. Ten years ago, the family settled in the village of Lothering, building a home on the outskirts and making a life where they wouldn't forever be on the run.

Though Leandra worried constantly that the templars would one day catch up with them, Malcolm's teachings were sufficient to keep them safe.

He died three years ago, leaving Garrett responsible for the welfare of his mother and younger siblings. When the Blight began, Carver enlisted in King Cailan's regiment, saying the horde spilling from the Korcari Wilds meant their home would be quickly overrun if the darkspawn were not defeated immediately.

If the circle is not a goddamn prison that literally abused and drive so many mages to commit suicide then why the fuck hawke father decided to escaped and run away? The fact that even though his wife is a noble, a noble who should have been powerful enough to support him and their children and protect Malcom and their children with her name and connection is Kirkwall were forced to live in secret and ON THE RUN WITH HER FAMILY! is another of many many proofs that the system that chantry created for Thedas HURT everyone, whatever you are a peasant or a noble, if you have a mage in your family then they will be imprisoned in a circle that definitely will abuse them or you are forced to hide with them and run away from home.

IS QUARANTINE DRIVE YOU INSANE? ARE YOU BORED? WANNA GO OUT WITH FRIENDS? WANNA GRAB A MEAL IN A RESTAURANT? OR GET A HAIRCUT?

Remember De’Launcet fucking quote:

“You don’t understand. I’ve been in the Circle since I was six. Six! For Twenty years I was locked up. Never had a real drink, or... cooked something for myself. Never stood in the rain... or kissed a girl.”.

You cannot treat people like that! You can’t! it’s not right to imprison and enslaved people, mages, like that, there’s no justification to deny basic human rights/rights for any races. Imagine how desperate, depressed, touch-starved and horny you are, if you are not allowed to touch a woman who consented to have sex with you, imagine beingfucking locked up for twenty years and never feel the rain on your face. 

Maybe you should try being locked up for most of YOUR LIFE, for shit you never did in your life ever, aka committed horrible crimes that you never committed in the first place? 

Where’s the logic? Where’s the humanity? Andrastianism and The chantry is the worst religion and the worst religious institution in Thedas, and templars are not champion of the just, they are champion of abusers. 

But besides because of religious zealotry and dogma, why did the chantry locked up and enslaved mages in circle and put templar in circle to fucking abused them? OH RIGHT! I KNOW! its for power and profits, because using slave labor to make enchantments and used mages as soldiers who never wanted to be dragged into war in the first place,  it was and as prison/free labor to mass products enchantments is profitable for the chantry. !GROSS! DISGUSTING! Disgusting really.   The circle system is not only a prison camp, but also an institutional slavery.  

GROSS! DISGUSTING! But it sounds like any oppressive nations/institutions ever that used prison camp free labor to built factories and to work in their factories right? 

Disgusting really. 

Hey, LOOK AT HERO OF FERELDEN AND INQUSITOR EXPERIENCES IN THE CIRCLE! WHOA, IT WAS AWFUL!

For Mage!Trevelyan:

Born to the Trevelyan noble family of Ostwick in the Free Marches, you were originally intended for a life of privilege—until magical abilities surfaced at a young age and you were forced into a life of confinement within Ostwick's Circle of Magi. Protected but stifled, educated but isolated, the Circle would have been your entire future had the mages not rebelled against Chantry rule.

Trevelyan said that templars are a piece of shit who has two fucking faces (he said it to Josie) they smiled at mages (fake) but then they turned into as still as tone when a mage was punished ‘harshly” 

Remember what Cassandra said when mages find out that Tranquility can be reversed, dipshit fucking seeker, lord seeker lucius punished mages ‘harshly’ and there were deaths, and by definition of harsh for mages in thedas is: 

Rape

Isolation in an isolation cell (like what happened to Anders for a year!)

Starved to death like what happened to the real Cole

Tranquility or they are just killed. 

Every mages, adult or child, has seen or experiences abuses daily in their life, you can imagine the physical and physiologicalphysicological damages that templar and chantry have inflicted on them. As a person who was fucking abused by her own father, Ii know too well how lasting scars could damage you for life. 

TO ANYONE WHO DISMISSED ABUSES ESPECIALLY ABUSE THAT WAS PERPETRATED BY A RELIGIOUS SYSTEM/INSTITUTION, here take my middle finger AND SHOVE IT UP TO YOUR ASSES! 

Look Hero Of Ferelden life when she was still stuck in the circle:

The Hero of Ferelden belonged to the Circle of Magi in Ferelden, and resided in the tower at Lake Calenhad for most of her life. First Enchanter Irving recommended the Hero to Grey Warden Commander Duncan; shortly after the Hero's Harrowing, Duncan recruited her into the order.

https://mllemaenad.tumblr.com/search/mage+warden+

https://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/190968276307/mage-child-are-the-templars-coming-for-us-mage

Mage child: Are the templars coming for us?

Mage child: Is death painful? Am I going to die?

HEY WANNA TAKE A LOOK AT SER ALRIK? THE SERIAL ABUSER AND RAPIST?

 This is a letter that Alrik send to justinia before he died.To Her Excellency, Divine Justinia,I am well aware both you and Knight-Commander Meredith have rejected my proposal, but I beg you to reconsider. The mages in the Free Marches are past controlling, their numbers have doubled in three years, and they have found a way to plant their abominations in our ranks. They cannot be contained!

The Tranquil Solution is our answer. All mages at the age of majority must be made Tranquil. They'll coexist peacefully, retain their usefulness—a perfect strategy! It's simply the best way to ensure mages obey the laws of men and Maker.I remain, as always, your obedient servant,

Tranquil solution? Sounds like what Henrich Himmler said about Jews!

 Because Tranquility is a genocidal weapon that the chantry used to decreased the mages population and culling them, hmmm you heard about an 11 YEARS OLD GIRL WHO was MADE A FUCKING TRANQUIL IN KIRKWAL? 

Here I will give you a link to dalishious post about a young mage, 11 years old kid who was made tranquil by templar and chantry: https://dalishious.tumblr.com/post/620951635453149184/im-confused-it-says-that-she-requested-to-be|

ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING *spit on chantry and templar* 

There’s no fucking justification for turning a kid into a tranquil, neither raped woman who was made tranquil or mages in general just because they have magic. Alrik and his man are known for abusing and raped tranquil on a daily occasion, and they were granted a title, position, money, and job by the chantry, meredith is a bitch who treated mages like a slave, she was drunk on red lyrium, she didn’t do shit for refugee and she fucking took over Kirkwall seat of government, forcefully, while it was not her job to lording over Kirkwall like a power-hungry bitch. 

And for years no one checked on this bitch, because miss little grand cleric of Kirkwall is part of Meredith group, and no matter what unless the chantry got fucking destroyed or HEAVILY REFORMED like what Divine Leliana did, people like Meredith and

Ser Alrik will never be held accountable by the chantry or any rulers in Southern Thedas (except by King Alistair who gave rebel mages a safe refugee place I guess) because most shit heads who ruled in Thedas profited from oppression and slavery of their PEOPLE, OF MAGES AND ELVES. 

You are a modern man, how could you ever side with the medieval church like the chantry? YOU KNOW THAT MEDIEVAL VATICAN AND TEMPLAR OF OUR WORLD WERE AWFUL RIGHT?

You knew that the vatican/church in the medieval era trapped people in dark ages with their regressive politic and dogma, you knew that gay people and woman were burned alive just because they were gay and just because they are? Woman? Maybe some of them truly practiced magic, but hey magic is cool.

I don’t understand at all, this fucking hatred and bigotry against mages and elves that spewed by some people in the fandom, anyone who hates mages and elves inherently hates them for who they are, for simply who they are. 

My burning hatred for templar and chantry were caused by templar and chantry terrible actions for the past 10000 YEARS!!!!!!!! And not because they don't have magic or just because they are human. 

The chantry brainwashed human to dehumanize others 

I think this is one of the most disturbing crime the chantry ever committed for the past 1000 years, I can’t even help but shudder in disgust every time i heard chantry sisters or brother calling other people ‘abomination’ or ‘heretic’ because i know how dangerous religious zealotry can be.

As a Muslim who live in Indonesia i have seen people being thrown out of their house or whipped in public (In Aceh province) 

2.NOW MAGES ALLIED BY THE THE INQUISITOR AND THE INQUISITION IS THE CANON PATH!

 (deal with it honestly) 

First of all, when The inquisitor went to Val Royeaux, the inquisition met with Lord Seeker who was arguing with chantry sister, he didn’t want to listen to her, and then he punched her (bitch fucking deserve it, to be honest, chantry members except anyone whose not bigoted like Leliana and Giselle deserve to be punched) he insulted the inquisition and the inquisitor! ( what a Bastard Dick! Well, templar order is gone and he’s going to die anyway so....Whatever) 

When the Inquisitor went back to the way he came from (from Val Royeaux gate)

FIONA LEADER OF FREE MAGES HERSELF, DESPITE THE RISK AND DANGERS, WAS WILLING TO PERSONALLY GAVE AN OFFER OF ALLIANCES BETWEEN REBEL/FREE MAGES WITH THE INQUSITION.

FIONA GOES ALL THE WAY, FROM SAFETY OF REDCLIFF VILLAGE TO VAL ROYEAUX JUST SO SHE CAN meet WITH THE INQUISITOR AND OFFERED HIM AN ALLIANCES WITH OTHER REBEL MAGES (Of course The inquisitor accepted it, he’s a rebel mage after all duh!)  

From the very beginning you can see which path is the preferred freaking option, Its In Hushed Whispers and not the other one.

Besides it would make more sense for the sake of continuity to find out about the rift, time magic, who’s the mastermind behind what happened in Redcliff Village (Alexius tricked Fiona and other mages with time magic and blood magic to signed up with Tevinter) AND HOW FUTURE WITH CORYPHEUS WON LOOKS LIKE, rather than I don’t know.....Whatever bullshit in Therinfal Redoubt.

SECOND. Free alliances with rebel mages definitely would give The inquisition more advantages, first mages knew how to deal with magic and the fade, mages are more suited and powerful to fight against enemies that cannot be defeated by shield and swords. 

THIRD. 

THERE WERE NO ACCIDENT, NO UNWANTED POSSESSION OR EVEN NO POSSESSION AT ALL, NO DISASTER, AND NO ‘ABOMINATION’ .

 FOURTH. THE MAGES CONSUMED fewer RESOURCES BECAUSE THEY DONT NEED LYRIUM TO FEED THEIR ADDICTION/CAST SPELLS.

FIFTH. 

 FOR A WHOLE YEAR DURING CAMPAIGN AGAINST CORYPHEUS, MAGES HAS PROVEN THAT THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, MAGES WERE DISCIPLINED, RELIABLE AND BOTH THEDAS, INQUISITION, PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN SKYHOLD AND MAGES THEMSELVES ARE FINE WITH THE MAGES BEING FREE, WITHOUT RELIGIOUS SLAVERS WHO OWN THEM, WITHOUT JAILER WATCHING THEIR BACK. 

SIX. SPIRITS AND DEMONS were LITERALLY EVERYWHERE, AND EXCUSE ME, HAVE FRANCOIS EVER RECEIVED/READ REPORTS ABOUT HIS FELLOW MAGES FALL INTO DEMON POSSESSION? HELL NO! NOT EVEN ONCE

SEVEN. 

MAGES ALLIED AS FULL ALLY WOULD BE MORE INDEPENDENT, AND THEY COULD TEACHED YOUNG MAGES HOW TO SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN, THEY COULD BE MORE INVOLVED WITH SOCIETY, AND MAGES ASSIMILATED TO SOCIETY  

AND FINALLY.

DO YOU want A ANOTHER FUCKING PROOF OF MAGES FREEDOM BEING SUCCESSFUL? DO YOU WANT LITERAL CANON PROOF THAT MAGES BEING FREE IS ONE OF THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED IN THEDAS?

 The Inquisition's mages – the former rebels led by Grand Enchanter Fiona – are left with a choice.

Alliance

Leliana is Divine

When Leliana disbands the Circles, they leave the Inquisition and reform the College of Enchanters as a new order. The College, they say, will allow mages of the South to gather in peace and seek new solutions to age-old problems. For the moment, it appears to be working – mages are enjoying unprecedented acceptance throughout Thedas. 

Epilogue for mages freedom in Trespasser:

NOW College of Enchanters, Thedas third or fourth most powerful mage order and government (third if Rivain mages flocked to The College but I think Rivain mages after all mages has been freed (remember its canon) they will unite with Rivain government or if College Of Enchanters turned out to be stronger than mages order in rivain ) , the college is third/fourth-strongest order after Tevinter obviously, Nevarra death mages, and Rivain mages.

And everything is totally fine.

Leliana Divine, Mages recruited as allies

The end of the Inquisition as it had been sent shock waves through the College of Enchanters. Madam de Fer ably played on the mages' fear. Her followers united to build a new Circle - with Vivienne as its Grand Enchanter - in direct competition with the College. What the Circle lacked in numbers, they made up for in political connections; soon they were a force to be reckoned with.

Well about this stuff in trespasser it’s just vivienne stuff I guess *shrug* 

College of enchanters will always exist because like I said before so many many many times, that ever since Hero of Ferelden Era, To Kirkwall and then to Dragon 4:41/ 4:44, the canon and preferred path is to support mages and elves equality and freedom!!!!

THERE I GIVE YOU ONE, AND IT WAS MORRIGAN WHO SAID IT HERSELF.

Even a chantry sister from haven admitted that the mages looked happier and she said that she supports/give them chance to 

 SO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! CIRCLE IS NEVER BEEN FUCKING NEEDED! IT WAS JUST DRAKON STUPID BIGOTED MOVES TO ENSLAVED AND COLLARED MAGES AND ELVES.

Rivain mages were fine, and their society worked well with mages have their freedom Rivain trained their female mages to be seers, and seers hold important positions within Rivain government and society, oh but what happened? When the chantry fucking find out that Rivain didn’t treat their mages like shits and slave, that Rivain treated mages with respect like any other people. 

The chantry fucking send right on annulment and committed genocide against Rivain fucking mages, chantry you shit organization, Rivain will hate you more than before and I wouldn’t be surprised if the grand cathedral in Rivain will go boom too (i will support it, fuck those people) the chantry literally murdered children there and committed genocide against people of Rivain, No one will defend them in Rivain, no one. 

Codex Entry:

 When we heard of the injustices against our fellow mages at the White Spire, the Circle of Magi in Val Royeaux, I feared what was to come. Our Circle at Dairsmuid is small and isolated; it exists largely as a façade to appease the Chantry.

When the other Circles rose up, the Chantry sent Seekers across the bay from Ayesleigh to investigate. They found us mixing freely with our families, training female mages in the traditions of the seers, and denounced us as apostates. Perhaps they thought we were spineless robes who could be intimidated with a little bloodshed. Before I was first enchanter, I was the daughter of Captain Revaud, of the Felicisima Armada. I know how to plan a battle.They brought with them a small army of templars. We fought. And we might have won. But they invoked the Right of Annulment, with all the unrelenting brutality that allowed. 

It is their right to put screaming apprentices to the sword, burn our "tainted" libraries, crush irreplaceable artifacts under their heels, tear down the very walls of our home. 

No mage has the right to disagree. We of the Dairsmuid Circle wait now, behind barricades. I have sent word to our brother and sister mages of this outrage. When they breakthrough, we will not die alone.—Final journal entry of First Enchanter R

Whoaa look at the chantry and templar, casually committed genocide because they are ass hole who cannot accept that they are wrong, maybe they should accept those different nations have different cultures and traditions? Hmmm, maybe templar and chantry should accept that people are not a mother fucking weapon and slaves to be used and imprisoned since they discovered their magic, chantry and Templar  should learn when to stop, and they should learn that they didn’t know shit and doesn’t want to know shits about spirits? self-righteous much? 

Circle system, templar system, and chantry system cannot be saved because it’s just awful, those systems systematically oppressed and abused people, and we all know that time and time again YOU CANNOT KEEP PEOPLE OPPRESSED AND ENSLAVED FOREVER, THEY WILL REBEL AND SOONER OR LATER THEY WILL WIN THEIR FREEDOM AND THE OLD SYSTEM WILL BE BURNED TO DUST.

No matter how you tried change the circle/templar system, it will always be prone to corruption, because the system put templar above mages, and when someone have more legal immunity and power above other people, then abuses of authority will always happen, hey....LOOK AT COPS IN OUR WORLD.

if anyone tries to prevent other people from being equal and free just like any outer people there who have privileges and advantages, holy shit you are horrible, that’s a shitty bigoted view. 

BEFORE INQUISITION WAS EVEN REBUILT, MYTHAL AND MORRIGAN PREDICTED THAT THERE WILL BE GREAT CHANGES COMING, MORRIGAN PREDICTED THERE WILL BE A HERALD OF CHANGES IN THEDAS. 

They were talking about The Inquisitor who will completely turn Thedas upside down and changed systems that Thedas know it with better ones. 

SO why even bother to fucking keep an old system that doesn’t work and very oppressive and it was designed to imprison and enslaved people? 

okay, listen here you little templar- oh I mean Ex-Templar, because templar order of the south is just gone forever  ( who the hell wanted to be a templar again after people knew how dangerous lyrium could be? Especially after they saw lumbering red templar ABOMINATION, *not sorry they are really ugly bastard* Wrecking havoc all across Thedas 

3.MAGE FREEDOM AND DESTRUCTION OF TEMPLAR ORDER IS A GOOD THING FOR EVERYONE AND FOR THEDAS! 

Let me explain it to ya! 

1. Mages won their freedom means, no more tranquil, there would be no more long-suffering half walking, half living person who’s cursed in the emotionless body (well at least in the south) 

2. Mages could finally raise their own children, have family, married without fear and they don't have to run away from templar and chantry if they want to marry someone, mages children who were taken forcefully from their parents could finally meet their parents again, you don't want kids who were kidnapped from their family since a young age to be reunited with a family who loves them and misses them so much? Holy shit that’s monstrous.

3. Mage Orphan who has no relatives/family/home/ or friends to return could stay with College of Enchanters with other mages.

4. No more children will be kidnapped from the parents, no more mother who will lose their mage baby again because the templar and chantry ripped their baby away from their arms, never again.

5. New Generations of Mages kids who never have to endure torture and abuses in the circle, they can grow up in a safe and happy environment with their family or with the college.

6. Mages actively participated in society, and they can invent a great many things for Thedas modernization and advancement, remember Zither? He’s a mage and he uses his magic to play in a band, imagine the possibilities of Thedas technology-magic advancement with unrestrained magic, boi based on the newest leak, it seems like Arlathan was a magical cyberpunk empire. 

7. As a free citizen, many mages abilities/ skill can be implemented for different kinds of jobs, hey remember Lysas who wanted to be a mage farmer? Agriculture in Thedas could be improved with magic, Medication, and medical studies could be greatly modernized with magic, not to mention fashion, opera/plays, and music, hell even professional chef jobs will be much easier with magic, The inquisitor used telekinesis/spell to fixes broken bridges, and lit a veil fire are another example that magic could be used for mundane stuff and not just for

8. College of Enchanters definitely would be a steadfast ally for The Inquisition and The inquisitor, and not to mention that the Inquisition new operations area would be in the north/Tevinter, mages would be able to help greatly.  9. With templar order gone forever in southern Thedas, then there will be no more people who are force feed lyrium and suffer from lyrium addiction to the point they become a beggar because they wasted all of their coins for lyrium. 10. So mages now are free, no more circle, then what’s the point of templar or seeker anymore? Actually Seeker, circle and templar are never needed, then how southern Thedas  should handle with magic related crime or just crime in general, well I’ts easy, you see mages guard in Tamriel world? You know those guards in Skyrim? Or guard/law enforcer in Warcraft world who use magic? With mages free they also can work as guards

Why templar and chantry bootlicker literally believed in The chantry fearmongering false propaganda about mages and magic? It’s like medieval Vatican bullshit! fearmongering about technology and ‘sin’, fearmongering about spirit and magic? 

We live in the modern era! So stop believing chantry propaganda! 

Stop living as if its the 10th centuries, don’t keep clinging on the awful terrible system and it’s past, dude, see the future in front of you, and  try to be positive about progressive changes. You know what happened to a world who refused to change? Yeah man look at Anor Londo, everything rot there.  And have we ever heard about terrible accident that was caused by mages from College of Enchanters? Or by any mages at all? NO ONE EVER CONFIRMED THAT FREE MAGES OF THE SOUTH WRECKED HAVOC ALL ACROSS THEDAS, BECAUSE THE FREE MAGES DIDN’T DO ANYTHING AT ALL. AND THE MAGES HAS BEEN FREE FOR TWO YEARS! COLLEGE OF ENCHANTERS HAS BEEN OPERATING FOR TWO YEARS WITHOUT ANYONE ENSLAVED AND JAILED THEM  Hey man, i gave you straight fact that mages being free is the best choice to support, and facts that nothing bad happened with mages being free, so your theory and your fear (that actually is just wrong, and it’s sounds kinda like paranoia to be honest Persecution is really stupid, that’s why it’s called persecution in the first place. HA!  

ANDERS WAS, RIGHT!

‘Terrorist’ is a term that can be overused and utilized by people in power to demean and demonized freedom fighter/Resistance movement against tyranny.

  https://mllemaenad.tumblr.com/search/is+anders+terrorist%3F

There’s fuck tons examples of people who were falsely accused as terrorists by tyrannical power to labeled them as a danger and to demonize them, while ‘the terrorist’ who fight for equality and freedom were demanding their people to be treated like a human, and they wanted equal rights. 

 examples: 

[ I am an Indonesian btw, so I knew personally some stuff about dictator and dictatorship government]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgwS_FMZ3nQ&ab_channel=PhilosophyTube

 https://www.britannica.com/event/resistance-European-history

https://www.thejakartapost.com/academia/2020/09/07/long-road-to-see-justice-over-munirs-murder.html

As an Indonesian woman, our people were oppressed by many European nations, from Dutch To British to French and Portuguese, our nations were stripped and reduced to mere colonies of European powers, our people were enslaved in their own lands, woman raped and children murdered, then after Dutch leave, because Hitler almost sunk their nation during WWII, Japan fucking invaded our land and then enslaved us again! 

Japan lost the world war alongside with its axis allies, YAAY! We are free, but wait, the Dutch Empire was such a baby they wanted their ‘toys’ , they fucking demanded the allies to helped them invaded Indonesia again because in the eye of Dutch Empire we are nothing but their slaves to be milked dry and taken advantages of, but we fought back! And now all Indonesian people from children to the elderly are free!

Did Indonesian people won their freedom and built their nation with being subservient and asked nicely? 

FUCK NO, blood was spilled and heads were cut, a lot of head, but at least now generations upon generations of Indonesian people will never taste the brutality of slavery and how does it feel to be enslaved. Our first president was considered as a menace and a terrorist by Dutch Royalty, he was imprisoned in isolation but managed to escape over and over again! 

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But wait, if any person who rebelled against the government regardless of their intentions can be labeled as a terrorist *gasp* IS THAT MEAN GEORGE FUCKING WASHINGTON WAS A TERRORIST?! Apparently, by British Empire standards, he was.

 The guy and his friends waged a war against the crown, because British Empire keep treated American colony like shit, from the perspective of King George, Washington was a piece of shit who kept ruined his country and his colonies, but boi Americans would be angry if someone called Washington a terrorist right? Because for them, Washington's struggle and rebellion were righteous. 

YOU CAN’T SIMPLY USE THE LABEL OF ‘TERRORIST’ TO CONDEMN ANDERS AND HIS ACTIONS WITHOUT EVEN UNDERSTAND HIS MOTIVE.

Because if you keep doing then, in your perspective every single freedom fighter who rebelled against cruelty and tyranny should be condemned? 

We are talking about what is a ‘terrorist’ here, and if you want to label someone as a terrorist then you have to read their manifesto, understand their motive, try to hear what they wanted to say, and understand the core of ideas behind their rebellion. 

Here’s the thing, will you call the Stonewall riot as an act of terrorism? ( i presume from your blog description you are a supporter of LGBT right? ) 

What about Joachim Ronnenberg? A man who leads a daring raid against Nazi Germany nuclear weapon factory had the german succeded in their efforts, we might have read devastating histories about the nuclear bomb that destroyed London like what happened to Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

From the perspective of Nazi Germany...This guy  wasis a terrorist and an enemy!

But it feels so wrong to describe freedom fighter as a terrorist right? How could we label people who resist nazi Germany as a terrorist?!

Because we know, despite the casualties, despite everything that happened, what they did was right, and they needed to fight back. 

Allies marched to Berlin was the right thing to do, American colonies rebelled despite they knew that a lot of people will die in war, but have you ever condemned the founding father and his people for their rebellion? Or argued that it wasn’t necessary for them to rebelled. Soekarno wars and rebellion against dutch colonists and invaders cannot be condemned, because objectively, no one should support slavery and colonization of other nations. 

French people were so sick and tired of their nobilities and royalties bullshit to the point they cut off their own monarch head, but they were right, because French Monarchy was corrupt and incompetent, while nobles and royalties were feasting and drinking as if there’s no tomorrow, poor people in French can’t even afford bread. 

Trans and Gay people who fight back and demonstrated against injustice was right, the woman who demonstrated and rioted against the oppressive system and patriarchy was right.

WE KNEW DEEP DOWN THEIR CAUSE ARE NOT EVIL, OR CONDEMNABLE, THEIR CAUSES ARE OBJECTIVELY RIGHT! 

But what if it were someone like Adolf Hitler who hmmm rebelled against the Weimar Republic, back before his raises to power around 1920-1923, I’m sure that you are familiar with his Beer Hall Putsch, when he held 14 mass meetings in Germany, for the nazi it was a historical moment, ‘a glorious resistance against the weak and incompetent Weimar Republic’

For his supporter it was glorious, but despite their best efforts to convinced themselves that they were right, WE KNEW HE WAS NOT RIGHT, Nazi was god awful.

What is the core idea of nazism? (I'm going to compare it with socialism/communism because some people keep saying that communism is just like nazi, and it's absolutely wrong) 

https://www.britannica.com/topic/communism/Marxian-communism

https://www.britannica.com/event/Nazism

They are very different. Ya see despite some people who keep yelling that communist is just nazism by any other name. ( and I’m not a communist) 

Adolf Hitler might see himself as a savior, a martyr, and his party also people who supported him

richard spencer, see himself as a ‘liberator’ and voice of white people, but behind all of his fucking bullshit, his core ideas are just Naziism, he is a nazi, Richard Spencer is a white supremacist so does any other alt-right edge lord on the internet who insisted that they are not nazi, despite the fact they fucking followed nazi ideologies and practiced hatred ( btw nazi ideology is based on white supremacist and eugenic ideologies too, so what’s the difference really?” Nazi is white supremacists and white supremacists will always be a nazi) 

Alright and how all of it ties back to Anders and mage rebellion, you might ask, ‘why did you write about histories lessons that I already knew about?’ 

Well templar child, it’s all lead back 

TO THE CORE OF ANDERS IDEAS AND MANIFESTO AND WHY HIS IDEOLOGIES/BELIEVES AND MAGES REBELLION WAS ON THE FREAKING RIGHT SIDE. 

I wrote that fucking long-ass paragraphs so people will be able to differentiate the righteous kind of rebellion (or ‘terrorism’ from the perspective of the power/oppressors) and the god-awful kind of rebellion/terrorism.  

Because instead of listening and learning about what anders wanted, some people are often so fixated on the semantic of the word ‘terrorist’ and got too distracted by that stupid chantry explosion. THE CHANTRY EXPLODED IS THE SAME KIND OF THING IF HITLER OR STALIN’S OFFICE too  

People died? Yeah so does people who died during USA war against British Empire, was it terrible that people died? Yeah it was terrible but just like what i wrote before, the rebellion had to happened. And you said that he killed hundreds? Huh the numbers was never 100% confirmed because i don't think Isabela count the bodies, and second we cannot be sure about numbers of the casualties, because we never really see  ALL them in the first place. And actually arent Hero of Ferelden, Hawke and Inquisitor killed SO MANY PEOPLE? What about The Dragonborn? No to mention that in their journey they also destroyed private and public property and killed so many god damn animals to the point they could have been the reason why some species of animals are endangered.  And no one ever protest or raised a fuss when heroes killed tons of people.  Arent templar and chantry also killed and tortured so many people? What about mages who were killed or made tranquil for the past 1000 years? What about mages who committedcommited suicide like Orsino friend who locked herself in a closet then set herself on fire? Because she no longer can’t stand living in Kirkwall Circle prison? What about Anders friends who often committedcommited suicide because what templar did to them and that lead to severe depression? What about mages and elves who were hunted down and killed just because they escaped from their circle prison, they were killed by order of the chnatry and templar cut them down with their sword? What about Elves of Dales who died because Orlais wanted to expand its fucking territoryterrtotry and justified their racial superiority? Chantry and templar supported that. What about Karl who asked Anders to killed him because he preferred to die rather than be a tranquil again? Or captured by templar again? TEMPLAR AND CHANTRY COMMITED MORE CRIMES FOR THE PAST 1000 YEARS MORE THAN ANY PERSON DID, THE TEMPLAR AND CHANTRY MURDERED, ENLSAVED, TORTURED AND IMPRISON PEOPLE ALSO SUPPORTED GENOCIDE FOR 1000 YEARS!  IF WE CALCULATED NUMBERS OF PEOPLE WHO DIED BY THE CHANTRY ORDER AND TEMPLAR SWORDS, IT’S MORE THAN FREAKING MILLIONS!  ANDERS DID WHAT HE DID TO FREE THE MAGES AND FUTURE MAGES CHILDREN, SAME THING WITH FIONA  AND THE MAGES WHO REBELLED TO FREE THEMSELVES AND  FOR THE FUTURE OF MAGES, THEY ALSO REBELLED FOR FUTURE MAGES FREEDOM, THEY REBELLED FOR THE FREEDOM OF PEOPLE (because unlike what noodle and chantry said and spread, mages are PEOPLE!) so what are you saying again? HUH ? what is your justification? What is your defense? CHANTRY AND TEMPLAR CRIMES CANNOT BE DEFENDED!   If you justified Templar and chantry crimes then THE EVANURIS AND TEVINTER and the stupid qun ideals  can be justified too? From OBJECTIVE perspective Anders ideology WAS RIGHT! HE AND THE MAGES BELONG WITH THE RIGHTEOUS REBELS. Let’s compare chantry/templar mentality and moral vs mages and elves believes and pursuit of freedom. 

Let’s see examples of chantry/templar mentality based on evidence and popular opinion in Thedas that was forced by The chantry to people head.

1. The interpretation of chant of light that mages and nonhuman are abhorred by the maker, and they are ‘evil’ and corrupt’ i must remind you that MODERN and RELEVANT andrastianism in modern Thedas, has twisted whatever Andraste said and they strayed so far away from what andraste possibly could have wanted. 

What if Maferath Betrayal was not based on maliciousness? Or not just based on maliciousness? What if Andraste was truly a mage? The chantry lied about Shartan, the chantry fucking lied about Ameridan, if there’s one IRONIC TRUTH about the chantry, they lied, they twisted story and histories for their political power and their gains.

the whole ‘magic must serve man and not rule over him’ was purposely misinterpreted to fucking justify drakon fucking fanfic holy book, and his campaign to conquer the rest of Thedas. And the chant verses were twisted as a stupid and terrible justification to demonize and enslaved mages and elves in circle towers. 

In a nutshell that chant actually said that magic is a gift that should not be used for terrible deeds. But andrastian changed the meaning and twisted their own prophet words to enslave and oppressed southern mages.

2. The chantry believes about Everything that related to the fade/spirits/ or demon are dangerous and inherently evil, I ALWAYS LAUGHED MY ASS OFF, whenever templar/chantry/andrastian/non mages spouting hateful shits about the fade and spirits, it’s incredibly ironic, because there’s an implication that ALL PEOPLE who were not made by Titans (dwarves was made by titan) were spirits from the fade who ‘created body from the earth’ after they descended to the material world.

The evanuris, first of elven people, Solas and his people were spirits, it can be safely assumed that modern elves, humans and qunari in their truest form are spirits as well. 

 I think during his personal quest, All New Faded forFor Her, Aka The Dreadwolf Fen’harel, Solas has explained the truth about what human, elves and qunari truly are and what is their true form would be once they are died ( if they are not a remarkable person then they will simply be lost to the fade ) 

Besides it’s the chantry who spread hateful and ignorant propaganda about evil of spirits/demons, the fact that chantry spread such misinformed propaganda and derailed hates of the fade and spirit into people mind actually is one of the reasons why demons and unwilling possession as modern thedas know it exists, I know Cole explained that  spirit who crossed from the fade to the world was simply traumatized by their journey, the veil hurt them ( we can blame Solas for that) rules in the material world is just confusing, the earth and it’s mostly inflexible and unchanging rules confused them.

But if The fade can be bend and shaped by powerful dreamer/mages/ dreams and believes of people. That means...Demons were also created by The chantry ignorant and hateful propaganda. If many people believed that spirits are dangerous or ‘they are demon’, that spirits and the fade are scary then that’s how they will manifest.

The fade and spirit can be influenced by people's collective beliefs and perceptions. That’s mean it also The chantry and their dogmatic backward propaganda that made spirit/demon as we know it today, I mean for some reason Cole called himself a ‘demon’? While the boy was never corrupted nor twisted from his true nature, i think it’s because people perception of him and spirit.  The chantry dogmatic believes backfired on their own face. rule about 

3. Blind devotion to Orlais Chantry, theThe chantry foundation was made of bones upon bones and blood, emperor kordilius drakon butchered many cults and stamped out any non-andrastian religion or branch of andrastianism that didn’t conform to his cult believes so he can establish his cult of andraste as the dominant religious power in southern thedas or thedas in general. 

The Daughters of Song 

Wine. Music. Poetry. And the wanton and frenzied indulgence of carnal fancies. These things characterized the hedonistic cult known as the Daughters of Song. Calling them an order of the faithful lends them a legitimacy they do not deserve. The daughters (and sons, though they saw themselves also as "daughters") celebrated Andraste's holy union with the Maker in almost every way imaginable. And it was only the "holy union" they venerated. Andraste's life, her war, her teachings, and her sacrifice were blithely ignored.

At its height, the Daughters of Song numbered in the thousands. They maintained a stronghold in a village called Virelay, in the Fields of Ghislain. Virelay saw a yearly event during which the Daughters of Song paraded carven images of the "Maker's Glory" through the square.The Daughters of Song were wiped out by the righteous forces of Emperor Drakon during his campaigns to unite all of Orlais. When the emperor's forces sacked the village, the Daughters would not arm themselves and were either killed or captured. The village was destroyed, and the cult never recovered.—From Before Andrastianism: the Forgotten Faiths by Sister Rondwyn of Tantervale

HA! Blithely ignored her fucking war and ‘sacrifice’ is much better than using the story of andraste life as propaganda and tools to conquer, murder, enslaved, and wiped out groups of people who didn’t buy to your shit.

The daughter of the songs was not a cult of a sex-crazed hedonist, they were another group of pacifist andraste cult who didn’t do anything wrong at all (seems like they were peaceful, they didn’t even willing to armed themselves when Drakon butchered their people) and they just wanted to be left alone to their own device, but of course Drakon,  that egotistical bastard who sees himself as a martyr and narcissistic self-proclaimed holy man, so he put any people who didn’t want to listen to his bullshit to sword. 

The chantry and Orlais using their god, their prophet words, and their religion as a bludgeoning tool to conquer and forcefully converted people, the foundation of modern andrastianism religion was based drakon totalier philosophy his ambitions to rule all of Thedas. 

Ironically if there are people who smeared and desecrate andraste and the maker, its their followers. 

This kind of religious militant mentality has ledlead to people justification of exalted march, because they thought that they were doing it for the maker, they believed that the march is the maker works, anyoneany one who supported exalted march were so convinced that they were right to spilled so many blood and butchered so many people for their religious zealotry (and political ambition of their rulers but eh peasant rarely know anything about what happened in winter palace right?) 

if you supported exalted march of dales or exalted march against mages then.... As a Muslim i just want to say, what’re the differences between exalted march and Christian crusade? And we know that Crusade was a waste of resources and lives  or ISIS ambition for expansionism? 

Military and Religion is a dangerous and scary combination. And I can’t comprehend why any modern human could be so thirsty and horny to destroy other people's nations for their religion and their interpretation of their religion. and let me remind you again, the chantry and templar supported this mentality and often using the maker as a reason and justification of their terrible deeds.  The chantry refusal to acknowledge and respect different kind of andrastian religion and their outright rejection of different religion lead them to wiped out pre-chantry andrastian cult aka their own brethren and destruction of The dales, destruction and deaths of so many dalish clan, prejudice and bigotry against qunari and dwarves. and we don’t have to talk about what happen to old god religion worshipper. Y’know sounds like dark age church and their obsessions to stamped out any kind of ‘heresy’ , you like that shit? You supported it? EWWWW. D:  4. Templar and Chantry brainwashed people to be hateful bigot, I don’t care about any kind of justification or ‘positive deeds’ that andrastianism has done, a thousandthousands years of proofs and facts has proven that most of the time they spreading bigotry and hate for their own political power and gains, the chantry instilled intolerance on people mind and using terror as a way to control population of Thedas, people except for the ruling class are live in uncertainty and fear, we might see peasant in thedas just living their simple life, but if the temple and chantry find out that they are doing anything ‘suspicious’ or they hide their relatives who can use magic then that’s it, their life will end by chantry order and Templar sword, not to mention that the chantry bigoted cheating also lead to  these kind of situation, remember  that mage who were murdered in the storm coast by villager? She died because the chantry brainwashed people to hates on anything non-human and to hate on mages. NOW THE MAGES, let’s take a look at the mages and elves. 1.The mages and elves just wanted to be free and to be treated as an equal in society, not as a walking weapon to be enslaved and imprisoned and not as a servant/slave to non-mage human (or in tevinter and the qun not as a slave in general for elves and mages too who suffer under the qun ) if anyone supporting an ideology or people who deny other people rights, BASIC RIGHTS, then all of you fucktard can rot in hell. 2. Fiona, despite the chantry and Templar oppressed and enslaved her people for must I remind you again 1000 year! Fiona Was still willing to let other fraternities and other circles to vote, whenever they wanted to follow her rebellion or not, AND THE SOUTHREN MAGES CHOSE TO REBELED AND FOLLOWING HER! 3. Now mages freedom is canon, the mages now have their own government and they   rule over themselves( college of enchanters) and they never try to enslave, oppress, brutalize and hurt non mages 4. Now Briala rule in Orlais, she  could help to keep:  1. Remember that mage who died in Gaspard on leash and preventing him from invading other nations, not to mention that she definetly

4. 

Oh, Solas where are thou ~

Now about Solas and the veil, we might speculate to our heart content about Solas plans and what he might do in the future, but to be honest, truth to be told, NO ONE EXACTLY KNOW what is his actual plan for the evanuris, for the blight, for titans and to tear m down the veil. We only have morsels of information about his plans from trespasser, and Tevinter night (also from the leaks).  Who knew maybe Solas plan will ironically save the world? Doomed it? Saved some people? Only doomed half of the world? Will the world end? Or survive?  Now i want all magic to come back but without have to kill millions of people in Thedas, Because it will solve non-mages vs mages problem, everybody will be mages and the centuries of problems will be solved, not to mention that with the minuscule amounts of magic Thedas physical world now have, people seemed to slowly devolving, being cut from magic of the fade is not only horrible for mages but also for non- mages (Because the fade is the sources of power and life itself, not to mention that Solas referred to it as ‘The sea of souls’ in Tevinter Nights)  Here’s the thing, with or without Solas even waking up from his long sleep, i think The veil will be destroyed either way, here’s the evidences that supported my theories (But i still have no idea about What exactly will happen just like many other people out there ) Sandal Prophercy:  “Sandal: One day the magic will come back. All of it. Everyone will be just like they were. The shadows will part, and the skies will open wide. When he rises, everyone will see.”  Grand Duchess Florianne: “ A great CHANGE  is coming for all of us lord seeker lucius:  “ We created a decaying world, and  fought to preserve it even as it crumbled, we had to be stopped” Kieran:  “My mother is the inheritor of the next age” Mythal: WE HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT WHAT SOLAS PLAN IS, what is he going to do with other evanuris? What bout the titans? What about mythal? and ghilan’nain creatures that has been slowly emerge from the sea? What about the blight and darkspawn? I feel  like Solas wouldn’t be the true next main villain, he wouldn’t be Corypheus 2.0, why? Because unlike the blight or Corypheus, Solas have important relationship with The inquisitor, while most any other fucking villain have little to no relationship with heroes. So here Solas quote from Tevinter Nights: His look pinned her “I have no choice.What  I am doing will save this world, and those like you- the elves who are still remain-may find it better, when  it is done.” Solas might call himself “Prideful, hot headed and foolish.”  but he’s not a fucking idiot, he wouldn’t just tear down the veil  just to bing elven glory back,  there must be something bigger behind his motives, like the evanuris and well titans I don’t want to say much about the possible consequences of what might Solas  do, because frankly we don’t know anything about it. It is possible tho that the veil destruction will be the same thing just  like the fifth blight, mage and elves vs Templar and chantry/human war, Corypheus rises and fall  and the fucking explosion of both Kirkwall chantry and temple of sacred ashes,  it just going to happen, it is what fucking it is man. To quote Steve Jobs “One more thing” Patrick  fucking Weekes and their wife supporting mage and mage rights MEANWHILE... if you could live anywhere in Thedas, where would you live? PATRICK: I would live in Rivain. Because Rivain is not as hung up on magic, because they have seers who let themselves get possessed... they also have a relatively peaceful relationship with the Qun. And they're kind of a melting pot and multicultural... they're a place where a lot of different cultures come together. And also? Beachfront property. KARIN: I was just gonna say... if you need further justification, they get to say, "I want to live on the beach."

Yeah, that was a really good one. Okay, moving on: Mages or Templars? PATRICK and KARIN (in unison): Mage

http://www.dumpeddrunkanddalish.com/2020/05/castles-fennecs-and-player-engagement.html http://www.dumpeddrunkanddalish.com/2020/04/chatting-with-weekeses-part-3-romances.html

[mintly]

Rating: G Fandom: Good Omens Relationship: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Demon Summoning, Humor, Questionable Taste in Wallpaper, Occult Shenanigans, Domestic Fluff, Bickering, Aziraphale is a bastard and Crowley likes him SO much Summary: 

Crowley was sulking. He and Aziraphale could be having a cuddle by the telly with truffles from that little shop they liked in Brighton, but no. Instead of a cozy night in, all he had was an increasingly lukewarm mug of coffee and the indignity of being trapped inside what appeared to be a grandmother’s sitting room.

Read it on AO3.

Crowley was sulking. He and Aziraphale could be having a cuddle by the telly with truffles from that little shop they liked in Brighton, but no. Instead of a cozy night in, all he had was an increasingly lukewarm mug of coffee and the indignity of being trapped inside what appeared to be a grandmother’s sitting room.

The whole place had the distinct smell of mustiness that suffused a space given enough time and a lack of dusting. Rather like a certain angel’s bookshop, in fact. The wallpaper had a delicate floral print, which might be described as charming by some or tacky by Crowley. A sagging sofa slumped beneath embroidered curtains that reminded him of the women he had met while hunting down a pair of knitting needles for Aziraphale. They had cooed and called him a very nice young man and clearly itched to pinch his cheek. It had been a harrowing experience.

That is to say, besides the dark, pulsating circle of blood runes in which he found himself bound and the three figures trembling beneath their crushed velvet hoods, the room was a kitschy mess of knick-knacks and knitted afghans.

“Congratulations, you summoned a demon and ruined his perfectly good evening! Look, what do you want? Because I've got things to do. Very busy demon things.” He looked down at his coffee, and then further.

“Fuck!” Crowley said, realizing he was only wearing his pyjama bottoms. The hooded humans flinched, apparently intimidated. Still got it.

One human, still clutching a book of demonology, spoke up. “D-Demon, we–we’ve summoned you to grant us the power to destroy our enemies, the debate team—”

It was at this point that Crowley tuned out, as he felt a presence pop into the periphery of his awareness, a hint of ozone and something Crowley uneasily recognized as divine wrath.

The door slammed open and a thousand little Precious Moments figurines shook in their porcelain boots. Aziraphale marched in, haloed by the streetlight pouring onto the doorstep. He looked just a bit put out, as if he'd eaten the last of his favorite biscuits and the shopping wouldn't be done for another three days.

Crowley, having been on the receiving end of this look many times, winced.

"Crowley, you know, it's awfully inconvenient to break up a ritual on one of our Saturday evenings. Perhaps speak to your boss about locking the—" Aziraphale paused, assessing the gaping humans and, Crowley realized with dawning horror, the decor.

"Oh! What darling curtains, wherever did you find them? And that charming—" There it was. "—floral wallpaper. Lovely. Crowley, dear, do you think something like that might work in our cottage?"

"Aziraphale." Crowley gritted out. "A bit stuck here."

"Quite right," he said.

He gestured, and the demonic circle around Crowley sparked white. The glow grew brighter until it exploded outward in a flash of ethereal energy, scorching across the floorboards and up the walls. Curls of burnt wallpaper sizzled in the aftermath.

"My nan is going to kill me!” a hooded human cried.

"I do apologise for the damage, but perhaps you should have thought of that before dabbling in the occult arts." Aziraphale sniffed. He plucked the book from her frozen grasp. "And I'll be taking this for your own safety, thank you."

"I hated that wallpaper, anyway." Crowley brushed soot from his bare chest and frowned at his now undrinkable coffee.

Aziraphale clicked his tongue, signalling a discussion for later. He looped his arm through Crowley's and glanced back to the humans.

"I cannot recommend lamb's blood directly on the hardwoods for these sorts of events. I expect it will stain."

"Can't wash out the sin." Crowley grinned horrifically and was terribly pleased with the shock on their faces.

"Ciao!"

Aziraphale gave a little wave, pursing his lips against the impolite laughter shaking his shoulders. It was deeply sickening how much Crowley loved him.

He snapped, and they were home.

[starstuffandalotofcoffee]

Oh. What were your thoughts on Harrow the Ninth?

Oh man, so, spoilers everywhere below the cut and if the cut doesn’t work on mobile I am sorry for this webbed site. If you wanted my thoughts without spoilers do not read this; my spoiler free thoughts are extremely good, if you liked Gideon the Ninth it will not be a sequel letdown by any means.

I’ve never quite had this experience before which is a good thing: I started reading it, anxious to know what happened after the end of Gideon the Ninth, and it was CLEARLY some kind of weird alternate universe situation and I was incredibly frustrated because like, where is Gideon? For that matter where is the Harrow from Gideon the Ninth?

I think the most analogous experience I’ve had in terms of reading is when I read the Vorkosigan saga, the first couple of books are about the eventual main character’s mother, who is this badass scientific mission space captain who moves to a new planet for love and gets involved in a civil war (a lot more happens but this is a digression so I’m glossing over it) and I loved her as a main character and then the next book is about her fucking teenage son? It ended up being worth it but I spent pretty much the entire first book being annoyed, not because the story was bad but because it felt like they took the reason that got me hooked, namely a fucking awesome redheaded character (the redheadedness is incidental although as mentioned previously on this blog, plucky redheaded woman who doesn’t like sewing and would rather be doing science and/or swords is my personal representation in fantasy/sci fi), and then not just shifted the focus but pretty much had her minimally involved. Except instead of saying “oh she makes a cameo but now onto the main character” it’s “Gideon who?”

As a result it was harder to get into, even though I knew intellectually it would probably be worth it and the writing was as good and unique as ever. This did, however, make the ultimate twist absolutely amazing. I think I made audible shrieking noises alone in my apartment, which is very abnormal for me. I cannot wait for Alecto the Ninth.

Massive plot twist aside I love mythology in fiction and putting it in a space opera/psychological horror hybrid situation has been one of my favorite parts of the series overall. I also like how we weren’t done with the remaining characters; I feel like this is one of the only dream sequences ever I’ve actually loved as opposed to been like “okay but can we get back to the action”.

Funnily enough I’m not like, terribly interested in necromancy. I like fiction with LGBT characters and I like fantasy and I’m not grossed out by necromancy, but “lesbian necromancers” on its own isn’t actually enough to draw everyone in and I appreciate recommendations that actually covered the many other reasons to read the book (excellent worldbuilding, a really good writing style, being extremely funny and self-aware, containing multiple genres, being really fucking weird). With that said I do like how the ideas of necromancy were more fully filled (pun intentionally avoided) out in Harrow the Ninth because I am a math person and a D&D player and I love rules. I love magic that isn’t solely some physical exertion and saying some words - I like weird mechanics (Mistborn is a good example) and strange limitations.

I also like things that deal with the concept of immortality (I need to watch The Old Guard) and I think this might be my favorite take, namely the immortal people are just...totally selfish assholes who are smug and insufferable and clinging on to memes from ten thousand years ago and underestimate everyone else. I think one of my favorite parts of the Locked Tomb Trilogy is that 90% of the characters just kind of are shitty but highly entertaining people. I love high fantasy/epic fantasy where everyone is either noble or evil sometimes, but that can get boring. I got frustrated with this book but I did not get bored for a second.

[terramythos]

TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 14 of 26

Title: The Count of Monte Cristo (1840s)

Author: Alexandre Dumas (English translation by Robin Buss)

Genre/Tags: Fiction, Historical Fiction, Revenge, Adventure, Classic, Re-Read, Slow Burn, Third-Person.

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 5/07/2020

Date Finished: 6/13/2020

Young Edmond Dantès is about to get everything he’s ever wanted-- he’s set to marry the woman of his dreams and become captain of a distinguished trade ship. However, everything goes wrong when several jealous rivals frame him for a crime he did not commit, landing him in a horrific prison with no hope of trial or escape. After years of solitary confinement and despair, Dantès by chance meets a wise old abbé imprisoned in the neighboring cell. The two become close friends, and the abbé teaches Dantès everything he knows. On his deathbed,  Dantès’ mentor reveals the location of a fabulous treasure hidden on the abandoned island of Monte Cristo.

Dantès escapes prison after fourteen harrowing years and discovers that the treasure is real. Not only that, the men who ruined his life have obtained wealth and success. He reinvents himself as The Count of Monte Cristo, a mysterious and fabulously wealthy aristocrat. Utilizing this and a multitude of other personas, Dantès enacts a manipulative and intricate revenge on the men who wronged him long ago.

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“Dantès cannot stay in prison for ever; one day, he will come out, and on that day, woe betide the one who put him there!”

The Count of Monte Cristo is, obviously, a famous classic. It’s also one of two books I had to read for a class in high school that I actually liked. Considering 15-year-old me was a “gifted” burnout who had stopped reading for pleasure at that point, it says something that an assigned 1200-something page classic novel not only captured my interest, but kept it to the bitter end. Reading this was genuinely one of the few good things that came out of my high school experience. While I didn’t understand everything about it (least of all French pronunciation when I tried to read it out loud-- good God), the adventure, political intrigue, and revenge were all very exciting. It was shocking to actually read a book for school that was so entertaining.

But it’s been about a decade since I’ve read The Count of Monte Cristo. A lot has changed about me as a person since then-- I’m older, maybe a little wiser, and an entirely different gender than I thought I was. So, is it the same novel to me now as it was back then? Yes and no.

On a reread, I found I understood the novel more than I did as a teenager; I was able to follow the multitude of characters, subplots, and events much better. While many people discuss and praise the revenge plot, myself included, Monte Cristo doesn’t fully embrace that narrative until the last quarter or so. Most of the book instead establishes characters, relationships, and events that pay off big time when the Count finally pulls off his various schemes. It’s satisfying to see how everything comes together, especially in the last leg of the story. Each time Dantès reveals his identity is a treat, and it’s always fresh, with different philosophical implications. It’s impressive how Dumas ties so many threads into a coherent and entertaining whole. 

Revenge itself is very psychological in this book. The Count’s revenge plots are premeditated and usually immaculate in execution. He doesn’t just get revenge on the men who wronged him -- he actively fucks with, manipulates, and ruins them in the eyes of society. Even when the unexpected happens, he’s usually quick-witted enough to figure things out and still accomplish his goals. Dantès sees himself as an agent of God, reasoning that it’s the only explanation for how he went from the utter despair of eternal imprisonment to wealthy and powerful. He believes his revenge is ordained by heaven to punish the wicked-- and he likewise shows paternal compassion and care towards those he deems to be worthy. It’s only when innocents begin to suffer for his actions that Dantès questions his pursuit of revenge, and whether his utter devotion to it was divine at all or even the right thing to do. Does a life dedicated to revenge truly make one happy? Does revenge actually improve the world? These are almost universal ideas in modern revenge stories, but there’s no doubt that The Count of Monte Cristo popularized them.

The Count of Monte Cristo is also surprisingly modern for a story written in the 1840s. Many elements would be considered unusual for the time. There’s honest-to-God, non-fetishized lesbians in the story, which was something I definitely didn’t catch on my first read (you can even interpret one of them as a trans dude, which is bonkers). One of my favorite characters is Noirtier, a disabled old man whose entire body is paralyzed except for his eyes. Despite this, he communicates via different blinking patterns to enact multiple complex schemes to protect his granddaughter. He’s a total badass, and the only character that gives the Count a run for his money re: ulterior motives. There’s also some pretty risqué elements-- Dumas really liked hashish, which features quite a bit in the story. Add in the graphic violence and an actual plot-critical serial killer, and you’ve got an adventure thriller that often feels like it was written for modern audiences.

Do I recommend reading Monte Cristo? Yes, absolutely-- but there are definitely some caveats. The length is an obvious consideration. If you want to read this, be prepared for a commitment-- I read pretty fast, and it still took me over a month to get through it. While it’s long, it is entertaining (and often humorous) throughout, even to a modern reader. You also want to avoid the multitude of abridged versions, as they tend to cut out most of the interesting subtleties of the story and focus on the action sequences. The translation I read clocks in at a cozy 1276 pages, and they definitely aren’t short. While I haven’t read other translations, this one (the Penguin Classics translation by Robin Buss) seems to be considered the best English version.

While I mentioned the modern aspects of the story, and Dumas was considered liberal, The Count of Monte Cristo is still a product of its time. Dumas has some very interesting female characters, for example, but their roles are generally still true to the sociopolitical climate of the 1840s. Slavery is just a thing in the story, and while there’s some nuance there considering Dumas’ own heritage, it’s worth mentioning. The Count’s relationship with Haydée is pretty yikes, even though I like her as a character and her role in one of the revenge schemes. Generally speaking, this book also has more pop culture references than a Shrek film, and while the footnotes help, there’s still a lot that isn’t annotated and totally went over my head.

In my opinion, though, The Count of Monte Cristo is definitely one of the most captivating classic novels out there. It’s had an immense impact on modern storytelling, and I can’t understate how genuinely fun it is to read. Definitely give it a try if you’re in the market for a classic and the sheer length doesn’t scare you away.

[kingofterrors]

Tagged in an ask by @bolinshipskorrasami . Thanks! Here we go then...

Three ships: Since I’m currently high on an Owl House hyperfixation, Lumity is #1. Having finished Harrow the Ninth in a week and now listening to the audio book (because that is a whole fresh experience - cannot recommend the audible version of HtN enough), Griddlehark is #2. And if you have to restrict me to three, I’m gonna go for Beaujester from Critical Role as my #3. It’s a close run between that and Beauyasha for a CR ship, but I love Marisha and Laura’s interplay in general too much not to continue to pine for Beaujester. One of the primary reasons for buying Pillars of Eternity 2 was to hear them romance each other. 

Last Song: on repeat at the moment is Chocolate by Jesse & Joy, because it has cemented itself as a Lumity song for me. It’s just so upbeat and joyful. Love it.

Last Movie: I haven’t watched a movie in an AGE. I genuinely think the last one was Portrait of a Woman on Fire. Gotta watch Little Women soon, which has been on the DVR for a couple of months, it feels like.

Currently Reading: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. Eight chapters in and loving it. Also SO MUCH Owl House fanfiction, and a fair helping of D20 fanfiction too, because... well... just because. May also be falling into a pit of Locked Tomb fanfiction to address that Griddlehark craving.

Currently Watching: watching and re-watching the Owl House, but in addition to that: Good Girls - just started s2 for my Mae Whitman fix; Devs; Batwoman; Penny Dreadful; just finished Stumptown, which I adored. 

Currently Craving: deffo s2 of the Owl House. I hope Disney tva appreciates my daily google search for s2 release dates. Also on tenterhooks for Alecto the Ninth, and the new season of Dimension 20, which hits any day now!

Tagging in some folk who I see plenty of in my notes. Join in if it’d be fun, no pressure if it wouldn’t be! @liveinink, @dandelionsunlight, @whoaheytheresatan, @asleepinawell, @quarterpasttired

[nobody-knose--archive]

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation? 🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you? 💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

see the problem with questions like these is that i can never choose which one to answer for. for the first one i’ll answer the one i can actually remember for

so i found dr who when some clips were recommended to me in yt in the way that it does. me being who i am, i thought, damn cant hurt to check out a clip or two, and ive gone through like 2 whole playlists worth of them before i step back and realize. oh goddamit i like this show now. the most harrowing part of that experience was when i found sherlock/supernatural videos is my recommended videos afterwards because i’m sure as hell not a superwholock.

headcanons? im doing another special interest bc canon’s wonky enough in dr who i couldnt say anything really without the canonicity or lack thereof being the subject of debate. fire emblem. some of these are kinda stated highly in canon but eh im not a big headcanon person in general (and ive only played fates/awakening/echoes bc all i own’s a 3ds. and warriors but nobody cares about warriors) solei’s pan & inigo is gay/ace (& autistic) but closeted as hell. owain? also gay. severa? actually just ace/aro. no wonder the concept of true love always seemed so out-of-reach (insert shrek reference here). i dont have hcs just for the fates/awakening crossover trio, like every avatar character/their children is nonbinary and so are sakura & elise. tobin’s a disaster nonbinary/bi combo, celica’s pan, i could go on all day but i think this is a big enough paragraph as is.

trivia? TRIVIA‽‽‽ Boy do i have some trivia. not for any of those previous medias though, it’s puyo puyo time. of course the problem with you probably not knowing a damn thing about puyo is that it gives me no standards whatsoever as to what counts as trivia or not. did you know suketodoura’s name is most likely a translation error? did you know the entire series started as a spinoff of a comparatively grim & gorey dungeon-crawler series? did you know lidelle used to be known as rider? did you know there’s a goddam ton of various bits of lore concerning most of the primp town characters but i cannot for the life of me tell you where it’s found? did you know that the conventional gameplay style that allows you to deflect your opponent’s garbage by making your own chains was only introduced in puyo 2 and in the first game if you were sent garbage you just had to deal with that? did you know that dr robotnik’s mean bean machine & kirby’s avalanche are just reskinned versions of puyo puyo (2 i think) that were transformed into different characters for the sake of localization? once again i could go on all day. i love this series.