#subscription box shipping

[netincomesource]

Auctane Networth and Revenue

As e-commerce continues to dominate the global retail landscape, the importance of efficient, streamlined shipping has never been more critical. Enter Auctane—a pioneer in logistics, helping businesses of all sizes enhance their shipping processes. With e-commerce showing no signs of slowing down, the role of dependable shipping solutions is paramount, and Auctane has emerged as the go-to…

[bluesey-182]

i finally got off the waitlist of illumicrate's spinoff "evernight" subscription (it's a 4-books-a-year horror novel subscription) and the april book is from an author I've so far adored and I'm super hyped

[packagingboxprinting]

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[juliahope]

𝐃𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫 ��𝐨𝐱𝐞𝐬!

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[boneless-mika]

My desire for subscription boxes has resumed

[mostlysignssomeportents]

“That Makes Me Smart”

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/12/04/its-not-a-lie/#its-a-premature-truth

The Biden administration disappointed, frustrated and enraged in so many ways, including abetting a genocide – but one consistent bright spot over the past four years was the unseen-for-generations frontal assault on corporate power and corporate corruption.

The three words that define this battle above all others are "unfair and deceptive" – words that appear in Section 5 of the Federal Trade Commission Act and other legislation modeled on it, like USC40 Section 41712(a), which gives the Department of Transportation the power to ban "unfair and deceptive" practices as well:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

When Congress created an agency to punish "unfair and deceptive" conduct, they were saying to the American people, "You have a right not to be cheated." While this may sound obvious, it's hardly how the world works.

To get a sense of how many ripoffs are part of our daily lives, let's take a little tour of the ways that the FTC and other agencies have used the "unfair and deceptive" standard to defend you over the past four years. Take Amazon Prime: Amazon executives emailed one another, openly admitting that in their user tests, the public was consistently fooled by Amazon's "get free shipping with Prime" dialog boxes, thinking they were signing up for free shipping and not understanding that they were actually signing up to send the company $140/year. They had tested other versions of the signup workflow that users were able to correctly interpret, but they decided to go with the confusing version because it made them more money:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/05/amazon-execs-may-be-personally-liable-for-tricking-users-into-prime-sign-ups/

Getting you signed up for Prime isn't just a matter of taking $140 out of your pocket once – because while Amazon has produced a greased slide that whisks you into a recurring Prime subscription, the process for canceling that recurring payment is more like a greased pole you must climb to escape the Prime pit. This is typical of many services, where signing up happens in a couple clicks, but canceling is a Kafkaesque nightmare. The FTC decided that this was an "unfair and deceptive" business practice and used its authority to create a "Click to Cancel" rule that says businesses have to make it as easy to cancel a recurring payment as it was to sign up for it:

https://www.theregister.com/2023/07/12/ftc_cancel_subscriptions/

Once businesses have you locked in, they also spy on you, ingesting masses of commercial surveillance data that you "consented" to by buying a car, or clicking to a website, or installing an app, or just physically existing in space. They use this to implement "surveillance pricing," raising prices based on their estimation of your desperation. Uber got caught doing this a decade ago, raising the price of taxi rides for users whose batteries were about to die, but these days, everyone's in on the game. For example, McDonald's has invested in a company that spies on your finances to determine when your payday is, and then raises the price of your usual breakfast sandwich by a dollar the day you get paid:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/05/your-price-named/#privacy-first-again

Everything about this is "unfair and deceptive" – from switching prices the second you click into the store to the sham of consent that consists of, say, picking up your tickets to a show and being ordered to download an app that comes with 20,000 words of terms and conditions that allows the company that sends you a QR code to spy on you for the rest of your life in any way they can and sell the data to anyone who'll buy it.

As bad as it is to be trapped in an abusive relationship as a shopper, it's a million times worse to be trapped as a worker. One in 18 American workers is under a noncompete "agreement" that makes it illegal for you to change jobs and work for someone else in the same industry. The vast majority of these workers are in low-waged food-service jobs. The primary use of the American noncompete is to stop the cashier at Wendy's from getting an extra $0.25/hour by taking a job at McDonald's.

Noncompetes are shrouded in a fog of easily dispelled bossly bullshit: claims that noncompetes raise wages (empirically, this is untrue), or that they enable "IP"-intensive industries to grow by protecting their trade secrets. This claim is such bullshit: you can tell by the fact that noncompetes are banned under California's state constitution and yet the most IP-intensive industries have attracted hundreds of billions – if not trillions – in investment capital even though none of their workforce can be bound under a noncompete. The FTC's order banning noncompetes for every worker in America simply brings the labor regime that created Silicon Valley and Hollywood to the rest of the country:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/26/hit-with-a-brick/#graceful-failure

Noncompetes aren't the only "unfair and deceptive" practice used against American workers. The past decade has seen the rise of private equity consolidation in several low-waged industries, like pet grooming. The new owners of every pet grooming salon within 20 miles of your house haven't just slashed workers' wages, they've also cooked up a scheme that lets them charge workers thousands of dollars if they quit these shitty jobs. This scheme is called a "training repayment agreement provision" (TRAP!): workers who are TRAPped at Petsmart are made to work doing menial jobs like sweeping up the floor for three to four weeks. Petsmart calls this "training," and values it at $5,500. If you quit your pet grooming job in the next two years, you legally owe PetSmart $5,500 to "repay" them for the training:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

Workers are also subjected to "unfair and deceptive" bossware: "AI" tools sold to bosses that claim they can sort good workers from bad, but actually serve as random-number generators that penalize workers in arbitrary, life-destroying ways:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/11/26/hawtch-hawtch/#you-treasure-what-you-measure

Some of the most "unfair and deceptive" conduct we endure happens in shadowy corners of industry, where obscure middlemen help consolidated industries raise prices and pick your pocket. All the meat you buy in the grocery store comes from a cartel of processing and packing companies that all subscribe to the same "price consulting" services that tells them how to coordinate across-the-board price rises (tell me again how greedflation isn't a thing?):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

It's not just food, it's all of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Take shelter: the highly consolidated landlord industry uses apps like Realpage to coordinate rental price hikes, turning the housing crisis into a housing emergency:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/24/gouging-the-all-seeing-eye/#i-spy

And of course, health is the most "unfair and deceptive" industry of all. Useless middlemen like "Pharmacy Benefit Managers" ("a spreadsheet with political power" -Matt Stoller) coordinate massive price-hikes in the drugs you need to stay alive, which is why Americans pay substantially more for medicine than anyone else in the world, even as the US government spends more than any other to fund pharma research, using public money:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/23/shield-of-boringness/#some-men-rob-you-with-a-fountain-pen

It's not just drugs: every piece of equipment – think hospital beds and nuclear medicine machines – as well as all the consumables – from bandages to saline – at your local hospital runs through a cartel of "Group Purchasing Organizations" that do for hospital equipment what PBMs do for medicine:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/27/lethal-dysfunction/#luxury-bones

For the past four years, we've lived in an America where a substantial portion of the administrative state went to war every day to stamp out unfair and deceptive practices. It's still happening: yesterday, the CFPB (which Musk has vowed to shut down) proposed a new rule that would ban the entire data brokerage industry, who nonconsensually harvest information about every American, and package it up into categories like "teenagers from red states seeking abortions" and "military service personnel with gambling habits" and "seniors with dementia" and sell this to marketers, stalkers, foreign governments and anyone else with a credit-card:

https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/newsroom/cfpb-proposes-rule-to-stop-data-brokers-from-selling-sensitive-personal-data-to-scammers-stalkers-and-spies/

And on the same day, the FTC banned the location brokers who spy on your every movement and sell your past and present location, again, to marketers, stalkers, foreign governments and anyone with a credit card:

https://www.404media.co/ftc-bans-location-data-company-that-powers-the-surveillance-ecosystem/

These are tantalizing previews of a better life for every American, one in which the rule is, "play fair." That's not the world that Trump and his allies want to build. Their motto isn't "cheaters never prosper" – it's "caveat emptor," let the buyer beware.

Remember the 2016 debate where Clinton accused Trump of cheating on his taxes and he admitted to it, saying "That makes me smart?" Trumpism is the movement of "that makes me smart" life, where if you get scammed, that's your own damned fault. Sorry, loser, you lost.

Nowhere do you see this more than in cryptocurrencyland, so it's not a coincidence that tens – perhaps hundreds – in dark crypto money was flushed into the election, first to overpower Democratic primaries and kick out Dem legislators who'd used their power to fight the "unfair and deceptive" crowd:

https://www.politico.com/newsletters/california-playbook-pm/2024/02/13/crypto-comes-for-katie-porter-00141261

And then to fight Dems across the board (even the Dems whose primary victories were funded by dark crypto money) and elect the GOP as the party of "caveat emptor"/"that makes me smart":

https://www.coindesk.com/news-analysis/2024/12/02/crypto-cash-fueled-53-members-of-the-next-u-s-congress

Crypto epitomizes the caveat emptor economy. By design, fraudulent crypto transactions can't be reversed. If you get suckered, that's canonically a you problem. And boy oh boy, do crypto users get suckered (including and especially those who buy Trump's shitcoins):

https://www.web3isgoinggreat.com/

And for crypto users who get ripped off because they've parked their "money" in an online wallet, there's no sympathy, just "not your keys, not your coins":

https://www.ledger.com/academy/not-your-keys-not-your-coins-why-it-matters

A cornerstone of the "unfair and deceptive" world is that only suckers – that is, outsiders, marks and little people – have to endure consequences when they get rooked. When insiders get ripped off, all principle is jettisoned. So it's not surprising that when crypto insiders got taken for millions the first time they created a DAO, they tore up all the rules of the crypto world and gave themselves the mulligan that none of the rest of us are entitled to in cryptoland:

https://blog.ethereum.org/2016/07/20/hard-fork-completed

Where you find crypto, you find Elon Musk, the guy who epitomizes caveat emptor thinking. This is a guy who has lied to drivers to get them to buy Teslas by promising "full self driving in one year," every year, since 2015:

https://www.consumerreports.org/cars/autonomous-driving/timeline-of-tesla-self-driving-aspirations-a9686689375/

Musk told investors that he had a "prototype" autonomous robot that could replace their workers, then demoed a guy in a robot suit, pretending to be a robot:

https://gizmodo.com/elon-musk-unveils-his-funniest-vaporware-yet-1847523016

Then Musk did it again, two years later, demoing a remote-control robot while lying and claiming that it was autonomous:

https://techcrunch.com/2024/10/14/tesla-optimus-bots-were-controlled-by-humans-during-the-we-robot-event

This is entirely typical of the AI sector, in which "AIs" are revealed, over and over, to be low-waged workers pretending to be robots, so much so that Indian tech industry insiders joke that "AI" stands for "Absent Indians":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/29/pay-no-attention/#to-the-little-man-behind-the-curtain

Musk's view is that he's not a liar, merely a teller of premature truths. Autonomous cars and robots are just around the corner (just like the chatbots that can do your job, and not merely convince your boss to fire you while failing to do your job). He's not tricking you, he's just faking it until he makes it. It's not a scam, it's inspirational. Of course, if he's wrong and you are scammed, well, that's a you problem. Caveat emptor. That makes him smart.

Musk does this all the time. Take the Twitter blue tick, originally conceived of as a way to keep Twitter users from being scammed ("unfair and deceptive") by con artists pretending to be famous people. Musk's inaugural act at Twitter was to take away blue ticks from verified users and sell them to anyone who'd pay $8/month. Almost no one coughed up for this – the main exception being scammers, who used their purchased, unverified blue ticks to steal from Twitter users ("that makes me smart").

As Twitter hemorrhaged advertising revenue and Musk became increasingly desperate to materialize an army of $8/month paid subscribers, he pulled another scam: he nonconsensually applied blue ticks to prominent accounts, in a bid to trick normies into thinking that widely read people valued blue ticks so much they were paying for them out of their own pockets:

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-65365366

If you were tricked into buying a blue tick on this pretense, well, caveat emptor. Besides, it's not a lie, it's a premature truth. Someday all those widely read users with nonconsensual blue ticks will surely value them so highly that they do start to pay for them. And if they don't? Well, Musk got your $8: "that makes me smart."

Scammers will always tell you that they're not lying to you, merely telling premature truths. Sam Bankman-Fried's defenders will tell you that he didn't actually steal all those billions. He gambled them on a bet that (sorta-kinda) paid off. Eventually, he was able to make all his victims (sorta-kinda) whole, so it's not even a theft:

https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/08/business/ftx-bankruptcy-plan-repay-creditors/index.html

Likewise, Tether, a "stablecoin" that was unable to pass an audit for many years as it issued unbacked, unregulated securities while lying and saying that for every dollar they minted, they had a dollar in reserves. Tether now (maybe) has reserves to equal its outstanding coins, so obviously all those years where they made false claims, they weren't lying, merely telling a premature truth:

https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/cryptocriticscorner/episodes/Tether-wins–Skeptics-lose-the-end-of-an-era-e2rhf5e

If Tether had failed a margin call during those years and you'd lost everything, well, caveat emptor. The Tether insiders were always insulated from that risk, and that's all that matters: "that makes me smart."

When I think about the next four years, this is how I frame it: the victory of "that makes me smart" over "fairness and truth."

For years, progressives have pointed out the right's hypocrisy, despite that fact that Americans have been conditioned to be so cynical that even the rankest hypocrisy doesn't register. But "caveat emptor?" That isn't just someone else's bad belief or low ethics: it's the way that your life is materially, significantly worsened. The Biden administration – divided between corporate Dems and the Warren/Sanders wing that went to war on "unfair and deceptive" – was ashamed and nearly silent on its groundbreaking work fighting for fairness and honesty. That was a titanic mistake.

Americans may not care about hypocrisy, but they really care about being stolen from. No one wants to be a sucker.

[natalie-andrewson]

Spirited Away won the Patreon poll for July’s Riso subscription print! But since the Nausicaa voters were SO VOCAL haha (and I also love love Nausicaa) I decided i’ll make a Nausicaa print for August!

You can sign up anytime during July to receive August’s print, you just won’t be charged until August 1st and it just won’t ship until late August. This video shows the other Ghibli prints I’ve made for previous Riso Subscription print packages!

My Monthly Riso subscription works like a blind box and for that they’re significantly cheaper than when I sell them online and in person. It’s a way of saying thank you for your support and for believing that I’ll send you a really cool Riso print!!

All these Ghibli prints are printed in three colors- fluorescent pink (or orange for Totoro!), blue and yellow. Spirited Away and Nausicaa will be too! Excited to get started on sketches for Spirited Away now- hoping to have it debut at SDCC as well!

This week I’m finishing up Robin Hood, printing with my Riso Assistant @printedpony Tuesday and Wednesday, and will hopefully be shipping by this weekend. More soon! ✨🍃

[betterbemeta]

I have said it before and i don't care how many youtubers advertise hello fresh or hungryroot to make a living

meal subscription services are not worth it.

Not a single one of them is actually cheaper in the long term than planning and buying your own groceries.

many of them have initial discounts to sell you the service and then hope you are just too busy or too tired to unsubscribe. almost ALL people who sign up for a meal plan will unsubscribe within the first year because they were only there to access those early discounts BECAUSE THEY NEEDED CHEAPER FOOD IMMEDIATELY.

Your normal grocery store probably does have a few dark patterns but not nearly as many as even the 'nicest' meal subscription service.

There are articles out there like "I did the math and the groceries and meal services are the same price mostly!" but if you pay attention, there are massive holes in their thinking:

the meals or plans that track closest to grocery store prices are ones that adhere to special diets. Eating vegan, keto, etc. can be more pricey to shop for. This is a known part of the strategy for meal kits and delivery services-- they can't compete with the price of typical groceries, but just like some people will shop at an expensive Health Food store, others will be willing to pay a premium for luxury or diet-specific products. And chances are if you're a regular person keeping a special diet with a limited amount of disposable income you probably have already made compromises for your budget and don't need a for-profit service to pry away that money you're trying to save.

These articles frame, 'you don't have to buy oil, seasonings, vinegar, or staple ingredients' as a cost saving or even food waste saving measure... but that's also true if you just eat regular TV dinners from the grocery store freezer aisle, many of which offer the same or better prices per serving. But really, is this not just a grocery shopping version of 'Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness'? Exploitation of those who can't invest in the cost of things upfront results in poor people spending more money for worse outcomes?

If I can't make a restaurant's exact same fish sandwich for the same price, I can just make a chicken sandwich or a grilled portobello. Or buy a box of frozen dumplings. Saving money on Grilled Trout Over Wild Rice shipped to my door makes no sense when I simply wouldn't choose to cook something like that without a special reason.

if these meal kits and delivery plan services really WERE cheaper than groceries, grocery stores would be losing money to them and they're mostly losing money to people buying less food in general.

[creations-by-chaosfay]

The Perfect Quilter Gift: Subscription Box

If you would like to give a quilter a fantastic and perfect gift, a subscription box may be just the thing. How do these work? Every month, a box with mystery materials is shipped out. These boxes will contain fabric, tools and notions (thread, ruler, seam ripper, etc), at least one free pattern, and a few other goodies. The prices vary depending on brand. If you'd like to surprise a quilter in your life with a monthly gift, these are an excellent option. Each box is also less expensive than purchasing each of the products independently. Example? A single subscription box may be $29.95/month, but it has around $100 worth of products inside it. I've seen boxes that cost just $35/monthly but contain as much as $300 worth of products, coupons, and gift cards.

Some of these options are for a single product, such as just a stack fat quarters or just a few charm packs. If the quilter you want to surprise has a lot of tools/notions, these may be a better option. It'll help them build up their stash of fabric rather than creating clutter with a bunch of new rulers they may neither need nor want. A few have trials you can choose from and others are monthly. Make sure you cancel any subscription you don't want renewed!

Cotton Cuts - This has a variety of subscription options, and at least one comes with all the fabric already cut and ready to go.

Fat Quarter Shop quilt clubs - These are strictly for one single product, including stacks of fat quarters. This link has several options, but each is a monthly payment. It's $0.99 to join each any of these, then you're charged on the first of every month, start at around $17.

Fat Quarter Shop sew sampler monthly - This comes with a lot of goodies, so keep that in mind if the person you want to gift it to doesn't have many supplies. Rulers, pins, measuring tape, as well as fabric, and a few bonuses (stationary, pens, etc).

Bramble Patch - They have a couple monthly subscriptions, and as far as I can tell they ship only in the UK.

Ginger Quilter Box Monthly - This is one of the more expensive subscriptions, but it comes with a significant number of goodies every month.

Axholme Quilting Company - This is another UK company. They've closed their physical store, but their online shop is still open. It's also a subscription box with only fabrics, no tools/notions.

Keepsake Quilting club subscriptions - These range from just fabrics to a box with all sorts of goodies. They also ship internationally. The Pineapple Slice subscription is the most expensive on the list, but it comes with tools/notions, as well as patterns, and several other goodies.

Crate Joy - This has subscriptions for nearly every interest. This particular link is for the craft subscriptions. There are hundreds of different subscriptions on this website.

Darn Good Yarn Club - If you would like to surprise someone with artisan quality yarn every month, this may be just what you're looking for!

Artisan Quilt Company Quilting Box - This is one of the few that offers trials as an option. It's also strictly fabric, but they do mention there will occasionally be a little gift added as well.

Precuts Quilt Box - They offer two different box options, one has fabric and many extra goodies and the other has fabric and patterns with no extra goodies. There's also the option of a one-time purchase, monthly, and every three months subscription option.

Open Gate Quilts subscription box - This subscription includes a pattern, fabric for that pattern, thread, a notion, and a few other goodies. Each of the projects is small and can be made in less than a week.

Mrs. Quilting Subscription Box - This has trial options as well as a monthly option. It's also packed with all sorts of goodies.

I'm a quilter, and I can tell you right now I would squeal with delight if anyone purchased any of these subscriptions for me. Whatever clutter I have, such as extra rulers I don't need, is sold to a local thrift arts & crafts store located in my area, wasting nothing.

Disclosure: I share this information because I can. There isn't a single brand or product that pays me to provide you with the information regarding anything I post, aka I have no sponsors.

[homelanderbutbig]

The Milk Box (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1270 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

You and Homelander share some milk. Inspired by a conversation with @sehtoast, and a suggestion by @slasher-smasher.

It started out as a joke gift for Homelander, a subscription to 'The Milk Box' where every month he would be shipped a crate of specialty milk. Initially, he took one look at this box and scoffed, rolling his eyes at this silly present you got for him. However, it did not take long for the monthly milk arrival to become an anticipated event.  

Today's the day the next shipment is set to be delivered, and Homelander is stressed. The waiting is the hardest part for the man who can have anything at the snap of his fingers, but he displays a high level of restraint from flying to the post office and retrieving the box himself, because he knows how annoyed you'd be with him. Instead, he's pestering Ashley every five minutes for an update on the box's tracking location. Yelling at her to keep him informed every second, while he's pacing back and forth in an attempt to stay grounded.

And then, the moment finally comes. The second the mailman enters Vought Tower with the package, Homelander is rushing to your office, practically bulldozing through your door. It doesn't even matter to him that you are in the middle of a meeting, this is more important.

You barely have time to understand what is happening before you are yanked away from your computer, held close against his chest with one of his immovable hands. He whisks you into the nearest elevator, giving its occupants just enough time to run out, before he hits the button to take you both up to his penthouse. Yet, it can't move fast enough as he bounces in anticipation.

The instant the elevator dings, he moves so fast into the penthouse he practically flies to the dining room, taking his seat while keeping you propped up on his lap. He's left a knife out on the table for you to open the package, as it's become tradition during these unboxing days. With a large hand on your shoulder, he watches intently as you slice along the packing tape. Even though the scent of dairy is overtaking his sense of smell, he suppresses his X-ray vision to not spoil the surprise of this shipment's contents.

Finally, the suspension is relieved as you open the box, unveiling the twelve glass bottles of specialty milk. They are chilled to a perfect temperature thanks to the dry ice packed around each bottle. Homelander is fixated on your hands as you carefully remove each bottle from the box, lining them up in front of the both of you. This month's crate comes from a local farm, featuring 1% milk, 2% milk, whole milk, chocolate milk, and unhomogenized milk.

Grabbing two bottles of the unhomogenized milk, Homelander's favourite, you pass one to him as you both unscrew your lids. He takes the time to deeply inhale through his nose, closing his eyes as the intoxicating dairy scent floods into his lungs.

You both take a sip of the milk, though your reaction is a lot more subdued than Homelander's. What you taste is very similar to the regular milk you drink. For him, it's a feast for his taste buds. The low-fat milk bottom portion dances between textures of smooth, creamy, and silky; the high-fat cream top portion coats his tongue with consistencies of sweet, foamy, and rich. He can perceive the faint tones of grass from the cow's diet, and the freshness of the farmer's harvest.

Regardless, it's not just about the taste of the milk. As a child created in a lab, he never had the opportunity to know his real mother, or be raised by an actual family. He was never able to relate to your childhood memories, having a cold glass of milk every day after school. In a way, drinking milk is the closest thing he has to connect to the childhood he missed out on, and nothing makes it better than being able to share this comforting experience with you, a person who truly cares for him.

"Mmm…" he mumbles, tipping his head back with his eyes still closed. His tense shoulders are now totally slack, letting go of the stress he's been holding onto all day, solely waiting for this moment.

"You like it?" you ask him, stroking his hand that is still on your shoulder.

"Yeah. They got a good batch this time," he remarks, licking his lips before downing the rest of the bottle. It leaves a delectable aftertaste on his tongue.

"What do you mean? Is unhomogenized milk not the same each time?" you ponder. To you, it tastes the same every month.

"Really?" he huffs in disbelief. Homelander takes his hand from your shoulder to start listing off on his fingers. "There's… there's so much that can effect the taste of milk! If there are preservatives or additives, what temperature it's pasteurized at, what the cow is eating… D-do you even know how the differences of the fat content can change the taste?"

You look up at him silently, grinning as he goes off on a tangent about the history of milk pasteurization and homogenization. Your innocent question about one of his passions has very easily gotten him riled up, although it doesn't take much to get him going on topics he loves. He's like a walking encyclopedia, and you cherish seeing him so invested in his hobby of learning new things.

"I love you, you know," you chuckle, leaning your head back onto his pecs. You catch a glimpse of Homelander's brain shutting down from your sudden praise. You took him right out of the middle of a rant, and instantly flustered him with your honest affection.

Putting your bottle down on the table, you turn around and kneel on his thighs so your face is up to his own. You giggle as he tries to angle away from you, hiding that his cheeks have turned red. However, he doesn't fight when you place your hands on his jaw and coax his face back towards you. His eyes are big blue windows into his soul, exposing how easily you overwhelm his emotions with the little ways you love him. But you can just as easily settle him down with those same little ways.

You lean in for a kiss, and bring your hands up to run them through his undercut. Almost immediately, Homelander sighs and closes his eyes, placing his hands on your back so he can sink into you. He purrs from the way your nails scratch his scalp, quickly letting go of that self-consciousness he felt from you bamboozling his train of thought with a simple 'I love you'.

When you break from your kiss, you keep your foreheads pressed together. His eyes open to gaze directly at you, now so serene. It's like you know how to flip the switch in his brain when he needs to calm down.

"You wanna have another bottle of milk? I'd love for you to tell me more about the different kinds," you say softly, caressing his cheek. A sneaky smile slowly spreads across his face.

"I haven't even gotten to modern milk production techniques yet," he chuckles, nuzzling into your nose. You can't help but laugh, but you know he's serious.

And you look forward to it, just to let Homelander have a chance to partake in something he wasn't permitted to enjoy when he was young. Just to allow him to get in touch with his inner child he neglects so heavily. Just to see that childlike innocence buried within himself have a chance to shine.

[satureja13]

Jack dragged Sai over to his and Kiyoshi's quarters to distract him from his misery - with some games. Skully: "Yes! Slay them into bloody pieces!" And he began to sing growl 'Swing of the Axe' by Power Trip... 'Go on and look at you - today's your lucky day The executioner's here And he's ready to make you pay

Swing of the axe, Swing of the axe Cry all you want, but the blade soars today Swing of the axe, Swing of the axe' "

Sai: "That's a bowling game, Skully..." Skully: "Then put some more effort in it!" Saiwa sighed. But everything is better than mulling over Jeb and their doomed sex life. Even hanging out with Skully. Where does he get those songs from anyway? ö.ö

And then Noxee called! Jack's eyes lit up. He loves Noxee since he first laid eyes on her. And he might have told her how much he's worried about Sai. Sai was so happy to see her. She surely would have some good tips for him. Noxee tamed Greg. She's the Queen of giving relationship advice.

Noxee looked at broken Sai: "Oh honey. That's not how I know you. I didn't raise you like that." Sai just wanted to start rambling about Jeb's revelation and how he's never going to lose his virginity, when Noxee interrupted. Noxee: "Babies. I'd love to chat with you but I have to take Greg to the hospital wing." Sai: "Gods! Did he get into a fight again? Is he severely hurt?" Noxee: "No, no he isn't. Just a physical inspection. A little strip search. A thorough body check. If you know what I mean? *She winked twice - and Greg, in the background, was just standing there, grinning stupidly in anticipation* And then some physiotherapy for this hardened muscle. A proper roleplay never hurt anyone ^^' Love you - bye!"

Well that was disappointing. As always... Sai grumbled: "Noxee didn't raise us at all." Jack: "Oh, I think she has. You don't have to be around someone for years to get an impact from them. And I think she did also gave us some valueable advice." Sai: "How so? She didn't say anything about me and Jeb." Jack: "Just you wait and see. She already showed us that a relationship can work, even under worst conditions, hm?" And Jack tugged Sai along - over to the Security Office, where the latest subscription box from 'Ye Olde Magick Shoppe' waited to be unboxed by curious creatures. Sai: "I don't think Noxee said anything about this?"

Jack: "You are just too deep in your despair to interpret it right. Noxee mentioned role play. And with what do you play with? With toys!" Sai: "I don't think Jeb will let me use them. He'll think they'd hurt me too..." Jack: "That's when her second advice falls in. The pysiotherapy. We've been practising yoga, meditation and tantra for so many months now, it's about time to yield the large crop! And get some profits from it." Sai: "Omg Jack! You and your wild brain. I don't think this was was Noxee had in mind." Jack, who hates Greg: "The only thing she has in mind is that mangily werewolf! We have to work with what we've got." Sai: "But how is that even supposed to help me getting woohooed by Jeb?" Jack: "That's easy. You are starting to play with those toys, some of them look exactly Jeb's size. And you also still have the wand from Kiyoshi. Just go slow and use lots of polish. Simultaneously, you start your one-on-one tantra practise with Jeb. Both of you should leave your ego - and everything else - behind and just focus on the moment - and your bliss. And after a few days - in the right moment - take the toy out and Jeb in - and it won't hurt a bit. And yes, you can thank me later, when you've seen the stars - all of them." And poor Sai is desperate enough to not chase Jack around the ship but to listen to his mad theories. Yes, things already have come this far.

And while Jack stuffs Sai's poor, suffering brain with his nonsense, Vlad and Ji Ho admire the new cargo bay. Jeb and Jack had turned it into a little green paradise for the Little Ones and for themselves. It will be nice and calming to hang out here. Since they aren't able to just walk around in the open air as long as they travel through space.

Ji Ho: "Let's pick our food and eat on the blanket?" Vlad, who'd promised Jack to be more approachable: "Eh - sure."

Jack told them just a few minutes ago he'd already set the table for them with their meals in the Crew Mess. But when they entered, their plates were empty. Someone ate their food. And it even looks like the plates had been licked clean. What the hell?

A little later, when Jeb and Kiyoshi finished their shift at the bridge, they built a - hopefully - secure container for the meteorites. The glow effects even intesified with time... They weren't able to measure any harmful radiants, so they just hope it's safe enough until they have time to research further. After they'd finished, it was upon Kiyoshi to distract poor Jeb from his misery. Well, Kiyoshi has decades of experience in not woohooing Jack...

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

Outtakes

Meteorites going crazy

[antimony-medusa]

Finding Stories

Okay so I started a conversation/poll the other week about anon fics, which clearly made it clear that I had the wrong impression about anon fics. I thought that people avoided them, whereas it turns out most people don't even notice if a story is anon.

However, it started me thinking about how people find stories in general. Because this would imply that anon stories get found because people are reading new in a fandom, are they actually doing that? And do people find published books the same way, just reading in the bookstore or free-scrolling on a site? So. I ran two new polls. Fandom. Published books.

And I gotta say that this was clearly something fired off while I was avoiding my communications class, and I have never taken stats. This is in no way formal. But I was really interested in the things that are similar and the things that were different. Do patterns change when you're actually spending money for things? What happens when people click boxes?

First off, in both cases, the thing that won the poll was "browsing new", either in the fandom or in the bookstore. But the percentages were quite different.

I figured that knowing "I want to go to the paranormal shifter romance section of the bookstore" is approximately equivalent to "I know I want to read Stucky Omegaverse" so I compared those two percentages. 49.3% of fic readers were out here just scrolling new, whereas only 28.4% of people would just rock up to a bookstore and start looking around. (or IS this true? A lot of people in the "several of these" (24.2%) said they did a lot of these, but they did not regularly specify if that meant they just browsed in a bookstore.)

I figured that sorting by kudos or hits would give you a similar impression as being on a book social media, where the popular books rise to the top. 24.8% of people were looking for what was popular in fandom, whereas 11.2% of book people were looking for buzz books. On the fandom side people said frequently that when they were new to a fandom they would read by kudos to get a sense of what the fandom was like, whereas there wasn't really an equivalent experience reported on the book side of discovering a sub-genre and reading popular in it. People just didn't mention it? Possibly. It's noteworthy that on the fandom side being able to target your search specifically by tag or ship was wildly popular and came up again and again in the notes, whereas on the book side I saw less people saying things like "when I know I want a cozy mystery"— possibly the poll didn't hit cozy mystery or paranormal romance readers.

Getting personal recs: this was a Very big one on the book side and less on the fandom side. 18.2% of people on the book side would go to librarians or friends, whereas only 12.4% of people on the fandom side would look in bookmarks or get recs from people. Possibly that is because a book club is thing and in many circles reading books is a social activity, whereas while being in fandom is a social activity, the specific fics you are reading is not as much the same thing. I know a lot of people mentioned in the fandom side that matters of taste would come up, and that they'd be aware that what other people would rec wouldn't be of interest to them. One big thing on the fandom side though, people mentioned very frequently going through the bookmarks of authors they trusted, so if you are an author, people are begging you to leave your bookmarks public.

Sticking with authors you trust: this is something that I expected to be much bigger on the fandom side than it was, and part of that may come down to how I phrased the poll, as I had people saying that their subscriptions aren't "new fics", they already found them. However, the result that I got was 2% of people read from their subscriptions for fic, and 4% of people stick with trusted authors for published books. Clearly more people will get auto-buy authors in the published world, but it's still a comparatively small percentage.

And then closing it up: 0.9% of people read for specific themes or events on the fandom side, and 2.2% of people read things like best of genres or horror recs on goodreads, 0.2% of people read ARCs, and 0.2% of people read email blasts like book funnel and their "best regency paranormals" emails. Is this a perfect comparison? No. Mostly I was impressed that any people still selected that they read for specific events on the fandom side, though I think some of that was people meaning that they read In The Gore Tag, and not reading like, Goreswap 2024 Exchange.

Do I have any conclusions? Not really, other than going oh man, people do legitimately just find the stories they want to read by browsing. A good summary/cover copy+cover legitimately can help people find your story. And please please please make at least some of your bookmarks public people are crying.

[whumperhive]

Companion De Trop

Package

Content: Morally dubious caretaker, Mentions of stalking, Chronically ill caretaker, Pet whump, BBU universe, it/its used to dehumanise.

Word Count: 1.9k

Oh, what the fuck.

No, no, like — what the actual fuck.

Avery was shell-shocked, standing in the rain, clothes becoming soaking as he stared wide-eyed at the wooden box in front of him. His breath fogged as he approached, hand grazing over the smoothed surface and feeling the dips and crevices of the burnt-on symbol. It wasn’t uncommon for WRU boxes to be on campus, though usually they were cardboard boxes; things for peoples’ pets that they already had before attending the college. Items and commodities that were given as some sort of monthly subscription or a bonus for giving the company good rep or something.

Not a wooden box settled right on his doorstep, though not alien to him, it was… unheard of people getting a pet during college. Responsibility and all that.

Especially since he hadn’t even ordered a pet, much less thought of getting one while he’s still taking classes for his Biomedical Engineering major. He was already staying up late some nights studying, he certainly didn’t have enough time to pay attention to a pet.

…Still, it’s cold out here. And his joints are starting to scream at him.

Heaving a sigh, the college student stepped around the box, taking out his keys with a jingling tune. Pushing the door open, he turned to the box, finally taking notice of the plastic-covered set of papers on top. At least they thought about the weather beforehand.

Man, he’s gonna hurt after dragging this in. Lamenting about his later pain, he clutched the two corners and began pulling, grinding down on his teeth in his strain to at least get it past the doorway. He was never the strongest person, and with his chronic illness, it made it all the more tough on him. His hands slipped, and he landed with a heavy thud on his back, staring up at the ceiling. After a moment of contemplating his life, he sat back up, carding his hand through hair swirling with several shades of reds and browns. Alright, he’s gotten it inside.

Using the box as a brace, he stood, growling under his breath at the sharp shooting of pain from his left leg up into his lower back. He closed the door against the increasing winds, locking it behind him as he turned to the box and hovered over the paperwork.

…Well, it wasn’t a mistake; this box was clearly addressed to him. Full name and all. He hummed confusedly, tearing the package from the top and scanning it over before he took it out of the plastic. It seemed to be all up-to-date, the box was shipped out three days ago, express shipping and all paid for, not a penny taken from him. He let out a sigh, shoulders sagging and dropping the plastic bag and paperwork on the floor beside the box.

“Alright, guess I gotta go get my box…” He mumbled to himself, turning on his heel to walk to his room. It took a moment of rifling through his desk before he uncovered the suitcase-like toolset. And in a second-moment thought, he turned towards his kitchen, opening the fridge. He’s heard of boxies being dehydrated, and he didn’t want to neglect the poor thing.

The box remained the same as he left it when he returned, setting down the water and toolset as he slowly got onto folded knees. As his knee braces pressed into the carpet, he winced at the aching in his knees as he crouched over the box in order to look over the screws — looks like they were Phillip's-head. It took a few minutes of attempting to get the correctly-sized attachment before he could unscrew the top. Once again he winced as he stood, placing the screwdriver to the side and sliding the top off with a thud.

Within the box was a pet curled up, wearing a thin pair of shorts and a white tank top. Its black hair looked to be unwashed and a bit matted, its pale skin having a few scars; likely from its time during training. Avery hummed worriedly, he had always worried about how pets were treated when they were training or being refurbished. He knew that pain was one of the ways they learned but, well, still. It made him feel bad.

It took him for a moment before he realized the pet hadn’t moved, blinking rapidly.

“Oh, uh, shoot. You can sit up, do it slowly though, I don’t want you to get dizzy.” He ordered, watching as the pet slowly sat up, its hazel-green eyes meeting his own making his blood turn to ice.

“...No.” He recoiled, slowly standing up. “No, no, no this has — this can’t be real.” He muttered. The pet’s — no, Kaine’s eyes widened both in fear and confusion. He hadn’t seen this asshole in, what, months? But, well, it made sense. He’d suddenly disappeared quite a few months back, and it usually took a long time to train pets, but…

“God, this has to be some kind of sick joke.” Avery practically spit, continuing to back up. This guy had stalked him for, what, almost a year? He thought he had gotten rid of him when he disappeared, but, well, here was the reason he was gone. He was given to WRU and then given to him as a pet. Who would do such a thing? Why?

Avery suddenly felt hot, unbalanced and dizzy, leaning against the wall as his vision fuzzed. He wasn’t unused to his stress-induced syncopes, but usually he would be sitting down if he felt his heart speeding up. He struggled to find his grip for a moment before leaning on the wall and gently sliding down to the floor. Good, okay, he wouldn’t hurt himself this way. He allowed his head to drop onto his knees as his consciousness gave out, the world draining to black.

Black and numb, nothing to bother him. No pain, no staring eyes, no judgement… Just… darkness.

…When he came-to, something cool was on his head, and he was laying on the floor. Staring at the ceiling, he gathered himself, clearing his throat. How did he get here? Hadn’t he fainted against the wall? Reaching up, the coolness on his forehead revealed to be a wet washrag. He sat up slowly, looking around.

The pet — god, he’s a pet now — was kneeling next to him now, head touching the ground. There wasn’t anyone else around… had he — it? — done this? Why did he position him on the floor? Was this some sort of punishment for him or Kaine? God, there were so many questions he had, and too little answers. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he resisted a shiver as he watched the pet stay stock still. He glanced behind it and noticed the water bottle had gone untouched, and took in a breath.

“Um, you can… you can sit up.” He said, watching as the other followed as he ordered. He looked fairly different since Avery last saw him, but he’d recognize the eyes that stared at him from afar for months on end anywhere, not to mention the scar under his eye matched the one he had gotten when Lych had socked him.

Sure, he was so much thinner than he was before, and there were several new scars across his skin, his eyes slightly sunken in and cheeks hollow from dehydration and likely starvation. His eyes showed no recognition, just obedience, reverence and… the slightest look of fear. Even despite this, Avery couldn’t help the sickly feeling in his stomach that settled there as he looked at the other. Taking in a breath, he sighed. This… wasn’t ideal, but Kaine wasn’t, well, Kaine now. Sure, he still felt uncomfortable around him, but he likely didn’t remember what he did. He’d heard of the “Drip”, a drug cocktail they made to have the pets forget their pasts as humans, and, well, the other’s eyes didn’t hold a drop of recognition.

“Stay here.” Slowly, Avery stood, making sure he didn’t swim with dizziness again. Thankfully, he didn’t, walking past the pet and grabbing the water bottle he had gotten. It was still cold, so he likely wasn’t out for long. That was good.

He returned to the pet, opening the bottle and looking up at it.

“Do you think you could drink this by yourself?” He asked, to which it gave a timid nod. Passing the water to the pet, he watched as it carefully drank. Once the plastic bottle was empty, he held his hand out for the bottle and then capped it, sitting in front of the pet cross-legged.

“Can you speak?”

The pet worked its mouth slowly, clearing its throat before speaking.

“Y-Yes, Master… this pet can speak.” Avery ignored the way his skin crawled at the label, gripping the legs of his pants for a moment before relaxing. It’s just what they have the pets call humans, it’s no big deal, it’s no big deal…

“Cool.” Taking a deep breath, he sighed, looking the pet over. “What’s your number?”

The pet’s spine straightened, holding out its wrist for Avery to see.

“637826, Designated Combination Domestic and Companion.” Avery nodded as it responded, glancing over the barcode tattooed on his wrist. Subconsciously, his shoulders slumped, thank fucking god it wasn’t a Romantic. He wouldn’t be sure what to do with it if it was.

“Okay, well, for now, until we find you a name that suits you, we’ll call you ‘826’ for now. That okay?” Avery asked, to which 826 nodded. Good, maybe this would go better than he thought. In another thought, he spoke again. “And — uh, don't call me Master,” It was weird to him to be called that by someone who used to practically obsess over him. Made his skin crawl. “call me ‘Sir’ or ‘Sir Avery’. Got that?”

There was a flicker of confusion, 826 slightly tilted its head before straightening back up. Avery watched its throat work as it swallowed nervously, likely thinking that the questioning movement would be seen as disobedience. The pet nodded, taking in a slow, shuddering breath.

“Yes, M —” A flinch. “S-Sir.”

“You're fine.” He reassured it, shifting about on his place on the floor before looking at the pet; he's a pet now, not a person. It'd take a while for that to sink in, honestly… “Think you could help me up?”

“Yes, Sir.” It responded, following the outstretched arm with a breath of hesitancy before the action seemed to click in the pet's mind. Crouching down, it let his arm rest on its shoulders as he moved to rest on his knees. Slowly, surely, he brought his feet beneath him, and came to a stand. His joints still ached, so he nudged his head towards the well-worn couch in the center of the living space.

“Set me down over there.” His voice was dredged in tiredness, the kind he felt down in his bones. What he wouldn’t do for this day to start over, so he could avoid this happening. How would he have avoided this? …He isn’t exactly sure, but, well. Here he was.

He sighed heavily as he settled into the couch, shifting about to get into an awkward position that helped ease the pain off his knees. He leaned against the arm of the couch, legs bent and just barely stretched all the way out. He flicked his hand at the bag of papers he cast aside.

“Grab those for me.”

—

@whumpinthepot wanted to be tagged! Here you are! I actually plan on turning this into another series so <:3c

[vkelleyart]

LONDON CALLING SERIES SPECIAL EDITION

So excited to share this dream commission for Illumicrate/Afterlight Books! Behold the exclusive Special Editions of Alexis Hall’s LONDON CALLING Series, featuring dust jackets illustrated by me! ❤️💙

Details from Afterlight Books:

We’re delighted to announce our Afterlight Exclusive London Calling Set by Alexis Hall in collaboration with Sourcebooks Casablanca!

Our editions of BOYFRIEND MATERIAL and HUSBAND MATERIAL are signed, exclusive B format Hardbacks and feature all exclusive:

Redesigned covers with illustrations by @vkelleyart and overall design by @chattynora

Digitally printed edges by @chattynora

Foil on the hardback by @chattynora

Endpaper artwork by @llstarcasterll

Bound-in author letters

*Please note that these images are mockups and finished copies may differ slightly.

The set is priced at £45+shipping and VAT if applicable, and will be shipping in June/July. This set comes under our ‘Box Subscription’ shipping category and our shipping rates can be viewed at http://illumicrate.com/shipping-rates. General sale starts at 3pm BST on Thursday 18th May.

We will be holding a presale for active Afterlight subscribers. Details of when this is will be emailed out on Wednesday 10th May (the presale will not take place on this day).

More information (and images) will emerge over the coming months, and I will do my best to update this post as I have more details to share. Afterlight Editions can/will be found here: https://www.illumicrate.com/shop/category/afterlight. ❤️

[cf56]

I just realized how funny it is that one of the Warners' primary methods of transportation is to literally mail themselves to their target. Like, how long did they spend cramped up in that dark little box while they were shipped overseas to Russia?

Imagine seeing a random package show up at your front door. You take it inside and open it, and three angry cartoon children pop out, ready to torment you over some injustice you didn't even know you committed. Zany violence delivered to your door, for the low subscription price of three mallet strikes to the head.

[pintsizebear]

A guide on using RSS

This is an extension of my previous post about diversifying your internet use!

What is RSS?

RSS (short for Really Simple Syndication) is basically an update log for a website. When a site has new content the RSS feed will update, and an RSS reader will show what's on the RSS feed. Think of an RSS reader like a centralized timeline/dashboard for all your favorite sites.

Why use RSS?

The most important reasons are to reduce your reliance on any one site, and to save time by compiling all the websites you check in one place instead of having to visit each one individually.

There's also no algorithm that decides what you see (or don't see.) No more shadowbanning, it's all where it's supposed to be. Plus, it makes it incredibly easy to jump ship from a platform that's endlessly fucking up, without having to start over entirely or maintaining profiles on 20 different sites.

Examples of websites that have RSS feeds:

Blogging + Social media sites (tumblr, cohost, blogspot, livejournal, mastodon, bluesky social, reddit, etc)

Video sites (youtube, dailymotion, vimeo, etc)

Podcasts

Forums

News sites

Personal websites (if the person running the site has added one. Here's a guide on adding an RSS feed to your own website! And here's a shorter one!)

How to use RSS?

You will need an RSS reader. I personally like and use Feedbro, which is a free browser extension (available on chrome, firefox, and microsoft edge.) Feeder is free and popular on android. Chrome on android also has a built-in RSS reader that can be enabled. Feeeed is a good free option on iOS.

How to find RSS feeds?

Some RSS readers like Feedbro are able to automatically find the RSS feed for a page with minimal effort on your part, you just click a button and it'll pull up the info.

Others will need you to paste the feed URL into a box, which isn't particularly hard either. There's a few ways to find an RSS feed URL. Some sites will have a direct link to it. It'll usually be an orange icon that looks something like this:

Less commonly, it'll be a link that says "subscribe", "web feed", or just a + icon.

Many sites don't have a direct link listed anymore, but that doesn't mean they don't have an RSS feed. A simple tool for finding unlisted feeds is Thirdplace Discovery. On that website, you paste the URL of the site or page you want the feed of, and you're given the URL of the feed if it exists.

Some sites simply don't have their own RSS feeds. That can often be worked around with tools like OpenRSS, RSSHub, or RSS.app!

It's also worth suggesting for websites you like to add their own RSS feed or to add the link in an accessible place. The more interest people show in it, the more likely it is to be supported.

That's about all you need to get started!

RSS is infinitely useful and customizable, it's worth trying out at the very least. Once you get settled in, it's very easy to use.

There's a huge amount of RSS reader options out there. Don't like the reader you started out with? The vast majority of them will let you export your subscription list as a file that can then be imported into a different reader! Feel free to experiment with different options to see which one you like best.

Also feel free to ask questions if you have them!