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negans-lucille-tblr · 1 year ago

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Go Easy | Sam Winchester Oneshot

Summary: Sam’s hiding a part of himself from his new, inexperienced girlfriend, but maybe he doesn’t have to.

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

Tags: teasing, flirting, mentions of virginity, mentions of liking younger women, angst, mentions of BDSM, Dom/sub vibes, mild BDSM, bondage, fingering, p in v

WC: ± 2.8K A/Ns: This was commissioned by someone who would like to remain anonymous! Hope you like it!

Sam Winchester Masterlist

“So, how did you two meet again?”

There’s a sparkle in Dean’s green eyes that Sam knows only too well means that Dean hasn’t forgotten at all, and he’s only asking the question for one reason; to tease the living fuck out of him.

“Urm, at the college library,” Y/N replies softly, clearing her throat and offering his brother a polite smile as she reaches for her glass of wine.

“Of course you did,” Dean chuckles, “so you’re one of these brainy young professors too?”

“Urr…” Y/N glances nervously at him, and Sam knows it’s his turn to step in and save her.

“No, actually, Y/N is a student,” Sam needlessly reminds his brother, unashamedly.

The smirk instantly curls over Dean’s lips as he chuckles, shaking his head. “A student, Sammy? You’ve been working there for two months and you’re already sleeping with the students, why am I not surprised?”

Sam’s brow instantly pulls into a frown as he shakes his head. “No, it’s not like that, De,” he protests, looking over to see Y/N is also confused by Dean’s comment.

“What does he mean?” she asks, blinking at him.

“Nothing,” Sam insists. “He’s just being an ass.”

Dean continues to chuckle, reaching for his beer and taking a long swig before swallowing hard and licking his lips. “Listen, we can just address the elephant in the room, okay?” he grins, looking between them.

“Dean, no,” Sam warns, hoping his brother will realise he is barking up the wrong tree completely right now and will back off.

“Oh c’mon, Sammy, we shared a bedroom wall long enough for me to know what you’re into. You’re hardly shy about it. And we’re all adults here… at least…” his eyes land back on Y/N, and Sam’s jaw clenches.

“Jesus, Dean, she’s more than legal,” Sam grunts, wishing his legs were just a few inches longer so he could kick his brother under the table.

“Relax, I’m teasing you both,” Dean laughs easily, lounging back in his chair with his beer in hand.

Sam glares over at his older brother for a moment, before looking across at Y/N to make sure she’s okay. She seems a little flustered, but before he can reach out to take her hand in hopes of relaxing her a little, she rises to her feet and softly excuses herself. Sam watches her leave, heading towards the bathroom, and then turns his attentions back to his brother.

“Seriously, dude?” he huffs. “Now she probably thinks I’m some pervert.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard–”

“Dean, I’m serious,” Sam interrupts.

“Oh, c’mon Sammy, you’re not exactly quiet about your… tastes,” Dean argues, smirking slightly. “I’m just saying that she’s exactly the kind of girl I thought you’d date.”

“It’s not like that, De,” Sam protests, “not with her.”

Dean cocks an eyebrow as if he doesn’t believe him. “So you’re telling me you’re not dating a younger woman who’s all quiet and reserved because she’s exactly the kind of girl who obeys your every command?” he mocks.

“She’s not like that,” Sam continues to argue, and he thinks maybe Dean is finally believing him, because a small frown pulls on his brow.

“Wait… really? This isn’t one of your… kinky things?”

“No, Dean,” Sam scoffs, still amused by Dean’s naivety even after all this time. Sam’s tried on more than one occasion to educate his brother on the lifestyle, but Dean couldn’t be further from Sam when it comes to things like this. “We’re actually dating, she’s actually my girlfriend,” he explains. “My very inexperienced girlfriend you’ve probably completely freaked out, so thanks for that.”

“Inexperienced?” Dean blinks, but then another cheeky smile lights up his face. “Sammy, you dirty dog!”

“Dean–”

“Well, in my defense, dude, you don’t date much.”

“You didn’t think it was weird I’d asked you to meet her?” Sam questions.

“I don’t know what happens between you and these girls,” Dean protests, shrugging. He’s quiet for a moment, but then he seems to get a little more serious, playing with his beer bottle. “So, is she open to what you like, or…”

Sam can tell that it’s a genuine question, so he doesn’t roll his eyes or complain, instead he takes a deep breath and decides to answer honestly. “I doubt it, we’ve never talked about it.”

“So you’d pack it all in for her?” he asks next. “Do you like her enough to do that?”

“Yeah, I think I would,” Sam nods honestly.

“Well then, I’m sorry dude, didn’t mean to freak her out.”

Sam looks towards the door leading down the hallway towards the bathroom and takes a deep breath. “I’m sure she’s fine,” he tells his brother, realising he’s only trying to convince himself more than Dean.

Y/N has been even more quiet than usual as they clean up after dinner. With Dean now gone, Sam was hoping she’d be a little more confident, like he’d noticed her becoming in the recent weeks, but she doesn’t say much as she clears away plates and carries them out into the kitchen, placing them alongside the sink. He watches her begin to run the hot tap, filling the sink up with warm, soapy water, and leans in the doorway just observing for a moment or two, wondering how he’s going to approach this.

“Hey, let me do that, it’s my place,” he protests, walking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her middle.

“It’s fine,” she insists softly. Sam places a soft kiss to the back of her head, and he watches as her movements slow and she clears her throat. “Sam, what did your brother mean when he said he’s not surprised that I’m a student?”

“Nothing,” Sam half lies. “He was just being an older brother and trying to embarrass me.”

“So you’ve not been with other students?” she checks, turning herself around and stepping out of his embrace to face him.

“No, not since I was a student myself,” he tells her honestly this time.

“Students your own age?” she asks next, almost challengingly.

“Pretty much,” he nods. “Y/N, I’m not into young girls or anything,” he laughs awkwardly. “There’s not even ten years between us, it’s not about that for me. Look… can we just forget the whole dinner, please?” he pleads, already exasperated.

She’s been spooked enough for one night, she doesn’t need to hear all about Sam’s twisted, kinky fetishes too. He’s kept those a secret for a reason. He didn’t know it when he first started dating her, but Y/N had been a virgin before they met, and he could still count on one hand how many times they’ve had sex. If he was ever going to show her that side of him, it wouldn’t be now.

“So you’re not into young virgin girls?” she asks bluntly, blinking at him.

“No, absolutely not,” Sam protests immediately, the very implication making his skin crawl. “Firstly, I didn’t even know you were a virgin when we met. Secondly, you’re twenty two, you’re not even a teenager anymore–”

“Okay,” Y/N interrupts. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to accuse you of being a perv or anything, I just… when Dean said he knows what you’re into…”

“He didn’t mean that,” Sam tries to explain.

“Then what did he mean?” she presses, blinking at him again.

Sam sighs heavily, not sure he can answer that honestly if he wants to keep her in the dark about his fantasies and desires.

“Is it bad? Is that why you won’t tell me?” she implores.

“No, it’s not bad,” he argues weakly, shaking his head. “I just don’t wanna freak you out, I know you’re new to all this.”

“Maybe physically, but one of the perks to being late in the game means I’ve done a lot of research,” Y/N admits coyly. “So I’m not as naive as you think.” Sam’s eyebrows rise at her implication. “Just tell me, Sam, please?” she begs softly, a lot more seriously than before.

Sam huffs a breath and licks his lips for a second, gathering his thoughts.

“Usually, I like a certain… dynamic in the bedroom,” he tries to explain briefly. “But, I would never expect that from you, so I’ve never brought it up. I’m fine with the way things are between us,” he rushes to add for reassurance.

“What kind of dynamic?” Y/N asks, seeming to ignore the second half of his comment.

“Urm… me in charge… in control… y’know, pain for pleasure kind of thing,” he admits, feeling his cheeks heating up at his admission. Normally he’s a lot more sure of himself, oozing confidence as he explains exactly how he expects it to go down between him and the girl he’s about to fuck. But Y/N is different, and he doesn’t want her running for the hills because of this.

“So BDSM stuff?” she clarifies, biting her bottom lip.

“Yeah, that stuff,” he nods. “So are you freaked out?” he asks, unable to stop himself.

Y/N doesn’t answer at first, she just stares at him and swallows hard, and Sam’s pretty sure she’s about to break up with him, leave and never come back. But what actually happens takes him off guard, as his eyes follow her as she drops to her knees at his feet and settles into a kneeling position, looking up at him through her lashes.

“What… What are you doing?” he stammers out, afraid that maybe she feels like she has to do this for him.

“Something like this?” she checks.

“You don’t have to–”

“You don’t think I don’t know exactly what you want… Sir?” she asks softly, a tiny smirk beginning to spread over her lips.

Instantly Sam’s cock begins to harden behind his jeans. It’s been a while since he’s seen a girl on her knees at his feet, and while he hears people call him Sir a lot thanks to his job, it feels so different hearing it come from her lips in that tone.

“A-are you sure?” Sam checks sincerely for a moment.

She doesn’t reply to begin with, she just reaches out, softly running her hand up his leg, over his thigh and towards the now obvious bulge in his pants.

“Like I said, I’ve done my research, I know what I like the look of,” she explains, her hand now cupping his cock through the denim, making Sam’s head a little foggier. “I wanna know if it’s as good as it looks, I want you to teach me,” she purrs, blinking at him seductively. “Just go easy on me?”

Sam reaches forward, cupping the side of her face. “I’ve got you, baby girl,” he confirms, feeling her lean into his touch. “I’ll guide you through it.”

Your POV

Holy fuck.

Sam’s teeth drag down your throat, his large hands finally releasing your wrists above your head, smoothing down your arms.

“Leave them there,” he growls against your skin, his hands now finding your breasts, fondling them for a moment or two before reaching around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You moan, arching your back into him, your hands finding his long hair so you can card your fingers through it. “I said, leave them there,” Sam growls, instantly pinning your hands above your head once more. “Don’t make me tie them up.”

Just the very thought of him tying you to the bed, making you completely at his mercy makes your insides flutter with even more arousal that pools between your bare legs.

“Please do,” you find yourself gasping, your brain foggy with arousal and desperation.

“You’d like that, hm?” he smirks, leaning back to look at you. “You’d like me tying you up, using you however I want?” You instantly nod, desperate for just that. “Use your words, baby girl… always use your words with me,” he commands.

“Y-yes I want that,” you confirm verbally.

“Sir,” he adds for you.

“Sir,” you also add, breathlessly. You’d always liked the idea of calling a guy Sir in the bedroom, but you never thought it would be this much of a turn on.

You watch him climb off of you, now standing at the foot of his bed as he reaches down for his jeans on the floor, and without taking his eyes off of you, he grabs the belt still in the loops and pulls it free. The sight is near enough orgasmic as you once again arch your back and moan, desperate for some attention between your legs.

Sam uses the tail of his belt to trail up your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake as you squirm underneath him.

“Maybe one day we can use this for something a little more entertaining,” he ponders, a wicked smirk curling over his lips. “But for now, we can make good use of it in other ways.”

You feel him wrap the leather around both your wrists, and with only a few tugs, you find yourself bound to the headboard, unable to move your hands very far; unable to touch him anymore. And suddenly, you want nothing more. His cock is hard and practically dripping with precum on your thigh, and you want to wrap your hand around it, to give him some relief. But he seems unfazed by the lack of attention it’s receiving, instead focused on your body, and the way it’s writhing underneath him.

His hazel eyes scan over what feels like every single inch, and he hums in appreciation, his hands beginning to ghost over your skin. When his touch begins to trail lower than your belly button, you find your legs widening as if to encourage him between them. He seems to oblige without any further teasing, which you’re grateful for, because you’re not sure how much longer you can take this. Your head feels like it’s going to explode. Being at someone’s mercy is so much better than it had been in your head all those times you’d gotten yourself off to the fantasy, or touched yourself to those videos you used to be so ashamed about liking.

“Someone’s wet,” he notes, a smug grin on his lips at the fact. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

You nod desperately, bucking your hips against his fingers, feeling him rub your clit as you begin to moan.

“Yes, Sir,” you rush to confirm, just about mustering enough sanity to remember to use your words like he’d commanded.

“If you like this, wait until I train you to be the perfect little slut for me,” he growls, and you gasp for air as his fingers push inside you with his words, your head spinning with the mixture of the sensation and the very thought of his words. “This body is perfect, and it’s all mine, isn’t it?” he asks, his eyes landing on yours.

“All yours, Sir,” you confirm, breathlessly. “Please… please fuck me,” you find yourself begging, unable to take much more. You just want to feel him inside you; it’s a feeling you’ve grown to love, and you only wish you’d have met him sooner.

“That’s not how you beg,” Sam growls, curling his fingers and making you cry out in pleasure. “Ask nicely, or I won’t fuck you at all.”

“Please, Sir. Please will you fuck me? I need you to fuck me, please.”

“That’s better,” Sam hums, removing his fingers and stroking his cock, slicking it with your juices from his fingers. “Such a good girl, I can tell you’re going to do so well,” he praises.

He leans over you, teasing the tip of his cock through your arousal, softly pressing against your opening as he chuckles at your desperation. You buck your hips in hopes that he’ll slide deeper, but he holds back, smirking almost evilly down at you, clearly relishing in just what he’s driven you to.

“Please, Sir,” you beg one last time, barely audible through your gasps for breath.

Sam leans down, bringing his mouth close to your ear, his cock still only just inside you. “I love the way that sounds on your lips,” he breathes out, his cock throbbing as if to prove his point. “I can’t wait to show you exactly how I like it.” And just the thought of this getting even better, has you on the edge.

#go easy #commission #sam winchester #sam x reader #dom!sam x sub!reader #smut #lemon #oneshot #angst #spn fanfic #jared padalecki #negans-lucille-tblr

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immodestly-marina · 1 month ago

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Concept: me and him in a room together for 10 minutes, one of us is leaving pregnant and it’s not me

#I will have him #he’s been acquired by me #pilot ep Sam has my heart #my little male seahorse #👅#sam winchester #supernatural #jared padalecki #spn #sub!sam winchester

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normalbrothershow · 19 days ago

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JDM/Jared fic recs

Non-AU (or can be read as non-AU) and no side ships

Prodigal Son by obstinatrix ❤️

Jared keeps teasing Jeff by calling him "dad", Jeff tells Jared that if he was his dad he'd beat his ass. E, 1.8k words

Mundane Things by lexicale ❤️

It's the one year anniversary of their "thing" and Jeff has a surprise for Jared. The only thing is, he has to work through whatever Jared is flipping out about first. D/s schmoop. M, 3.6k words (loved the D/S dynamic here)

Don't You Dare Say No, Not Until You've Tried it by lazy_daze ❤️

Jared called him up on a Saturday night, not long after the Watchmen premiere. E, 4.4k words

Calling the shots by pianoforeplay (rhythmsextion)

Jared's a pushy, bossy bottom. Good thing Jeff loves him that way. E, 1.8k words

Oh, sugar sugar by dishonestdreams

Jeff's kinda sweet on Jared. E, 280 words

your daddy was a sergeant major by Anonymous

JDM keeps fucking cisgirl!Jared even though she’s already come several times. E, 700 words

#its easier to find well characterised jared fics with jdm than jensen cause people dont have to turn jared into a mob boss to fit the #sub innocent jensen image they made up in their mind #jdm/jared #fic rec

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queenofallimagines · 9 months ago

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now what if I wrote a Sae itoshi x black reader hurt and comfort smut fic??? What then??🤨

#thinking thoughts #blue lock x black reader #like no bc I saw something and I’m like??#what if we make it black woman w a hint of neurodivergent??#bc I feel like this is something a fresh relationship with him would happen?#it would be switch Sae but in the beginning he’s a whiney sub #mentions of like black Woman w anxiety and public perception #this shit is in my head rent FREE #very comfort for black Woman #sae itoshi is bad at feelings HEAVY #I have literally 5 Long ass Fics in progress at ONE TIME #and I’m thinking about starting another??😭#I have to at LEAST finish the Lucifer one first!!🙂#promise yall I’m not gone again I’m like trying to remember how to read and write😔✊🏿#I’m Jared 18 never learned how to fucking read #Sae stands on BUISNESS and do NOT play about you #shidou dont either

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alaynestone · 10 months ago

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You perfectly articulated my thoughts! It’s like these self-proclaimed Sam girls don’t even like Sam with the way they rewrite his character to be the most boring, nondescript, waifish shotacon self-insert. They literally remove all of his most interesting qualities until he’s a completely unrecognizable shell of his former self. Maybe it’s /because/ Dean is canonically shown to be more submissive, both sexually and otherwise, that fans are more normal about it? Like they don’t NEED to turn him into a brand new OC for their fantasies. They can just write about him as he appears in the show. Him liking wearing panties doesn’t automatically turn him into a feeble yaoi uke stereotype lmfao.

Your tags really encapsulate what I found so triggering about those comments. Mushy fluffy dad of the year John just isn’t congruent with a John who would molest his sons (or canon for that matter). He loves them both, yes, but it’s not the existence of that love in and of itself that makes deanjohn read as incestuous. Smugly and flippantly declaring that Sammy was the favorite bc he was allowed some semblance of a childhood, and then using this as evidence IN FAVOR of samjohn is just so deliberately obtuse. CSA isn’t an act of love???😭

"waifish shotacon self-insert" killed me. you're 100% right. dean already has a lot of ..desirable blorbo traits, especially in the sense that he's the reason the omegaverse exists and it's so hard to compete with that one lmao. but when someone wants these qualities for their fave step number 1 is to tear down dean to make that happen. it's very telling that this is always the approach.

your second paragraph is also spot on. EXACTLY.

#i love sam and john's relationship it's just not like that #also in relation to your first point..i do think people resent the hell out of jared's size too #and a lot of the over the top whumped emasculated bottom sam posting is meant to be loud enough to drown that out #isn't it hotter if he stays himself when bottoming and/or subbing for his beautiful big brother only? no? ok suit yourselves

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spnj2fanlw · 15 days ago

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Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Supernatural RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Chad Michael Murray, Sandra McCoy Additional Tags: Dom/sub, Teacher-Student Relationship, Breathplay, Light Bondage, Desk Sex, Spanking, Rimming, Dirty Talk, Masturbation, Fingerfucking, Finger Sucking, Blow Jobs, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Control Series: Part 1 of Homework Verse Summary:

Jared’s eighteen and in his senior year at a private school in San Francisco. He’s coasting pretty on his parents generous school donations—until his seventh period Physics teacher gets replaced with the maddening, infuriating, gorgeous Mr. Ackles. Jared’s gotten by all his life on his money and his charm, but Mr. Ackles seems to think he needs some... lessons in self-control. The journey their relationship eventually takes them on turns out to be far more than either of them ever bargained for. ((Toppy!Teacher!Jensen in glasses and Student!Jared in private school uniform included))

******

Oh my fucking God!!! This was incredible. The sex was hot and intense and just outstanding but it's the emotional and character beats that knock it out of the park for a total homerun. Outstanding.

#supernatural actor rpf #jared padalecki #jared pov #jensen ackles #teacher Jensen #dom Jensen #student jared #who has a few lessons to teach the teacher about love #dom/sub #falling in love #jensen in glasses #total hotness overload🔥🔥#highly recommend

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nuemanfilms · 2 months ago

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thinking of sam having a hard-on and whining to fem!reader about it until she lets him cum on her <3

he believed it was torture, trying to stay still with the aching pain in his boxers. Awkwardly trying to adjust his bulge. but when you noticed, you kept teasing him for it..

“aww, is my sweet boy needy?”

“does it hurt, sammy? you need me to take care of you?”

god, he was so embarrassed yet so turned on by the humiliation. His cock ached against its confines, and he couldn’t help but rub his palm against it, hoping to get some sort of relief.

“please.. i can’t- I need you..” you let out a playful sigh, “Show me how bad you need me.” he groaned, eagerly freeing himself out of his pants.

Luckily Dean wasn’t home.

You let out a gasp at his hardness, the tip dribbled a bit of precum, and it was aching for touch, the tip also sported a small red tint. it had to be painful.

“touch yourself for me, Sammy.. let me hear you.” You cooed, and he obeyed. Wrapping his big hand around his shaft. He let out a moan, a needy one. He was so lucky to have you.

When you started unbuttoning your blouse, sam stroked himself faster. Your tits being revealed to him had him leaking like a faucet. God he wanted to cum.

“If you’re a good boy.. you can cum on them, m’kay?” you teased, playing with your peaked nipples as sam’s hand increased a faster rate.

“f-fuck..” he tossed his head back, feeling his orgasm approach rapidly. “fuck, fuck! i’m gonna cum, please let me cum on you.. i’ll be so good, i’ll be so good- i promise!”

When you moved closer to him, spewing out praises and rubbing your tits against his shaft, he tried to wait for your permission.. he was trying so, so hard.

“cum for me, sam.”

he let out a pathetic whine, warm spurts splattering on your chest and your chin.

#sam winchester hcs #sam winchester smut #supernatural #fem!reader #sam winchester #jared padalecki #sub!sam winchester

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fadedin2u · 11 months ago

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hey batter, batter

MDNI 18+

synopsis: ellie and abby have been rivals for years, playing for their university’s softball team. one day you, their coach’s daughter, show up at their game and ruin everything.

content: ellabs x reader, reader isn’t specified to be fem or masc, reader is described as a “girl”, afab!reader, sub!reader, dom!abby, switch!ellie, cunnilingus(e! and r! receiving), fingering(everyone receiving), strap-on(r!receiving)

word count: 3.7k

notes: based on this, thank u to @andisalias for giving me the idea to do softball, i think it worked really well! disclaimer: i know NOTHING about sports and just did a lot of research for this fic, so if anything is inaccurate about softball, i’m so sorry lmao

ellie sits on a bench in the dugout, picking at her dirty fingernails as she watches abby go up to bat.

“i hate the fucking batting order, i swear to god that jared has a vendetta against me,” ellie tells dina, who’s up to bat after ellie.

jared, the coach for their university’s softball team, is standing off to the side of the field, watching each move anyone makes on the field like a hawk.

dina snorts, nodding towards abby; “i think he has a vendetta against you fucking with his star first baseman before she goes up to bat.”

ellie scoffs, “that bitch deserves it.”

dina laughs a little, “right.”

ellie shoots a glare towards dina and goes back to burning holes into the muscular blonde’s back with her intense staring as abby holds the bat up, ready to swing.

if ellie was honest with herself, she did find abby just a little bit attractive, but any attraction ellie felt was monumentally overpowered by her intense hatred and jealousy for the blonde. abby was an upperclassman and naturally excelled in softball, always managing to make ellie feel small just by walking past her, which ellie despised. luckily, she knew that abby was just as bothered by ellie in return.

the pitcher throws the softball and abby strikes out on all 3 throws. ellie’s eyebrows shoot up, surprised.

“oh shit.” dina remarks, “i can’t remember the last time i saw ellie strike out.”

ellie rolls her eyes, “she’s not that great, dude. she fucks up all the time.”

dina doesn’t reply, not wanting to amp up her teammate.

abby comes back to the dugout, simmering with embarrassment and rage. ellie stands up and bumps abby’s shoulder with her own as ellie goes to bat.

“nice going,” ellie sneers, her voice barely audible, but abby picks it up, her fists clenching at her sides as she takes a seat on the bench.

abby turns to look at the girl who distracted her in the stands, and it’s you, chewing a fat wad of Big League Chew. her cheeks grow warm at the thought of fucking up so badly in front of you.

‘knock it off, abs, you don’t even know her,’ abby’s brain supplies, and she tries to listen, turning back to watch ellie bat.

as ellie goes up to the plate, getting into position, she looks through the netting behind her to look at the crowd, looking to see if joel ended up making it to this game after work. she almost immediately finds joel, sitting at the front of the bleachers with a bag of sunflower seeds. ellie’s about to give him at least a nod, but is quickly distracted when she sees you sitting next to joel.

‘what the fuck? who the fuck is that?’ ellie thinks to herself, her cheeks reddening as she gets into position to bat.

she turns away for a second to catch another glimpse of you, but as she does, she feels the softball sail past her into the catcher’s mitt.

“strike one!”

ellie’s wholes face feels hot and she kicks herself internally for getting so distarcted that she didn’t even swing in front of one of the most attractive people she’s ever seen. she shakes out her head a little, and she hears joel clapping, offering some cheers of support for ellie, but it just makes her feel more humiliated.

ellie adjusts her position, avoiding eye contact with her coach as he silently fumes over his star players completely fucking up and out of their element.

when the pitcher pitches the ball again, ellie swings and misses. at this point, she can feel her rage physically in her stomach, burning. she wilts inside slightly as she thinks about you seeing her play the worst she’s played since high school.

on her last pitch, ellie swings too early and strikes out. ellie feels sick as she walks back to the dugout, tossing her bat on the ground with more force than she should use.

dina walks past ellie silently to go up to bat, knowing that saying anything to ellie about this right now would probably be a mistake.

ellie sits down on the bench, grinding her teeth as she makes a little hole in the dirt ground with her shoe.

abby leans over towards ellie, now smirking, “hmmm… karma’s a bitch, huh?”

ellie jaw thrusts forward, not replying or looking at abby in fear that she’ll lose all control and lunge at the bigger girl, which she knows their coach would probably kick ellie off the team for.

in the next inning, abby takes her position at first base as ellie takes center field. abby looks up at you, chewing her lip slightly as she does. she tries to push down the wild butterflies she has, cursing herself for how distracted she’s been getting by your mere presence and not wanting to fuck this up anymore.

abby looks back at her teammates, and catches ellie staring intently at the crowd. abby follows ellie’s line of sight back to you and she clenches her jaw.

as the game continues, abby and ellie both drag the team down significantly, the two most competitive and cutthroat girls now distracted and aloof, dropping balls and staring at you despite their efforts not to.

eventually, the game ends and the visiting team wins by a landslide. abby feels sick about being partly responsible for their first loss of the season. both girls walk with the team dejectedly as they file inside to the locker room, following their coach.

when they’re all in the locker room, jared lays in to them, specifically abby and ellie.

“abby. ellie. what the fuck was that? i’ve never seen either of you play like that. are you two fucking high?” jared reprimands angrily.

ellie’s face hardens, and she has to use every ounce of self control not to do something she’ll regret. abby, on the other hand, takes the criticism in, fully ashamed of how she played today.

“i’m sorry, coach… I was just off today, but it won’t happen again,” abby says, her head low.

ellie is so close to making fun of abby for kissing their coach’s ass, but before she does, you walk into the dressing room cautiously, sitting on a chair in the corner. ellie stares at you, confused, but her heart racing form just your presence.

jared shakes his head, “i just don’t get it, you’re both firecrackers normally, but today, it felt like you two weren’t even in the game.”

abby is stunned too, unable to come up with a response as she stares at you. you shift a little in your chair awkwardly as both women stare you down.

jared shakes his head again, “this better not happen ever again, got it? or else you’re off the team. you can’t pull this shit and off scott-free.”

abby and ellie both quickly snap their attention back to jared, knowing that both of their scholarships are from softball, and if they get kicked off, they’re fucked.

jared rubs his temples, “alright… i’m done for today. go home, and i’ll see you all at practice tomorrow.”

the team starts packing up their stuff, a few of them heading to the showers. ellie and abby watch as their coach approaches you.

jared gives you a hug, “hey, sorry that you had to hear that.”

you shake your head, clearly a little uncomfortable about watching jared reprimand the team. “it’s fine, dad, don’t worry.”

dad? ellie and abby’s jaws comically dropping at the same time.

as you and jared talk, ellie and abby tear themselves away to head to the showers, both of them irritated that the other is present.

‘jared’s fucking daughter??? there’s no way that dick made someone so beautiful,’ ellie sulks to herself, stripping her clothes.

both girls quickly shower and by the time they’re done and grabbing their bags, they’re the only two left in the locker room.

abby is determined not to say a word to ellie, but ellie has other plans.

“so, you have the hots for coach’s daughter then?” ellie asks as she stuffs her sweaty uniform into her bag, her hair wet and hanging in her face.

abby’s loose, wet hair dampens the back of her t-shirt as she glares at ellie, “please, don’t act like you weren’t drooling over her the whole game.”

ellie laughs a little, “well… yeah. i have eyes, dumbass.”

abby bristles, “so, you’re gonna ask her out or something?”

ellie shrugs, “and what if i did? afraid she might like me more, anderson?”

abby scoffs, “i’m more afraid of you harassing her.”

ellie glares at abby, taking a step towards her, “literally, fuck you.”

abby steps closer too, using her size advantage against ellie to try and intimidate her, “funny, it seems you ‘literally’ want to fuck her.”

“ummm…” they hear a small voice from the doorway of the locker room.

abby and ellie’s heads whip around and they see you standing there awkwardly.

“i, uh… my dad thinks he left his baseball cap in here and asked if i could find it before i head back to my dorm,” you over-explain, rambling a bit.

ellie’s eyes light up a little, ‘jackpot.’

“don’t worry, i’ll help you look around for it,” ellie immediately answers, going up to you, “i’m ellie, by the way.”

your cheeks are hot as you shake ellie’s hand, and abby realizes that ellie might be stealing her opportunity, and she walks up to you as well.

“hey, i’m abby.” she says, shaking your hand as well, her large hands engulfing yours, “and don’t stress, i know what his cap looks like, it must be around here somewhere.”

abby and ellie give each other murderous looks as they search the locker room for coach’s ball cap.

you look around as well, your brain racing as you contemplate what you overheard them saying before they saw you.

abby finds the ball cap on the counter and raises it up in victory, “found it!”

ellie takes a breath, trying not to get unnecessarily upset over something as trivial as this.

you grin, approaching abby, “oh thank god. i’m terrible at finding shit, i *really* appreciate you both helping me.”

“of course,” abby and ellie both respond at the same time, side eyeing each other slightly.

you stand in front of the two as an awkward silence settles over everyone.

you decide to be bold, for once in your life, and break the silence, “so, i, ummm… i overheard you two before walked in.”

abby’s eyes get big and ellie’s freckled face goes red.

“oh shit, i’m really so sorry,” abby says, running her hand through her loose hair anxiously as ellie stands there awkwardly, unsure of what to say.

you smile a little, “no, it’s okay. really.”

you step forward, closer to them, and the girl’s tense up.

“it is a shame that you can’t share me though,” you boldly suggest, surprised by your own confidence, but you knew that they wanted you. they certainly weren’t discreet during the game.

‘holy shit.’

abby’s jaw drops slightly and ellie pauses before slowly saying, “share?”

you take a step closer, looking back and forth between them, “yeah. share.”

abby turns to ellie, and in that moment, maybe for the first time, they’re on the same page.

“i wouldn’t mind sharing you,” abby responds, her voice soft and low.

ellie nods, taking a step closer to you, “i’m good with sharing too,” she quickly supplies.

a slow smile spreads over you face, your eyes sparkling as you press yourself against ellie.

“well then… feel like sharing me right now?”

abby laughs a little to herself at the lunacy of this situation, but she can’t say that she’s not already wet just from this conversation alone, so abby nods.

“fuck yeah i do,” ellie says enthusiastically before kissing you.

abby watches as ellie kisses you, and the fire in her stomach is a mix of lust and envy.

ellie’s hands are gripping your hips as she presses you more into her. you run your tongue over her bottom lip and she moans, letting you into her mouth.

you feel a warm pressure against your back and you realize that it’s abby.

“my turn, williams,” abby says, her hands gliding over your waist.

you break the kiss with ellie, and her pupils are dilated, her lips plump and wet with spit. “fuck.”

abby spins you around towards her and doesn’t waste any time before kissing you, her arms wrapping around you.

you feel ellie’s hands roaming as you and abby kiss, and feel ellie’s pelvis pressing against your ass. it takes you a moment for you to realize that she’s grinding herself against it, and the idea makes your underwear more soaked than it already was. abby nips at your bottom lip and you moan into her mouth.

ellie’s hands come down to palm and squeeze your ass.

“you’re fucking perfect,” ellie murmurs, still humping your ass like a bitch in heat.

you pull back from abby to take off your shirt, leaving you in your jeans and bra.

abby starts kissing your neck and chest as ellie unclasps your bra, helping you take it off. as soon as it’s off, ellie’s hands reach around you to squeeze your breasts.

“jesus christ…” ellie whispers, rolling your nipples between her thumb and index finger as you moan softly.

abby breath is coming heavier as she manhandles you to sit on one of the benches in the locker room. you don’t resist at all, completely ready for whatever comes next.

abby motions to ellie as she kneels between your legs, “come on, there’s one for each of us,” as she latches onto your nipple, sucking and squeezing one of your breasts.

ellie quickly goes beside abby, your legs spread as wide as they can with the two girls between them. ellie licks over your other nipple and blows on it, getting it hard.

“so fucking cute-“ ellie says before suckling your breast as well, her eyes closed as she moans in the back of her throat.

you look down, and your clit is pulsing against the seam of your jeans as you watch both girls latched onto your breast.

ellie pulls back, watching abby suck on your breast with flushed cheeks. abby notices that ellie is watching her and she pulls back to see what’s up. as soon as she does, ellie pulls her into a heated kiss.

you’re mesmerized as the two girls kiss each other aggressively, ellie’s hands coming up to tug on abby’s hair. abby moans as she gropes ellie’s small chest through her shirt. when they detach, ellie stands up, her eyes sparkling.

“i have an idea,” ellie says as she goes over to her backpack, rummaging around through it until she pulls out a satin, black bag. she opens it and pulls out a purple strap-on.

abby laughs a little, “williams, why the fuck do you casually have a strap in your backpack? do you bring that to every game or something?”

ellie’s face goes red, “fuck you. i like to be prepared, it’s not my fault you don’t have bitches. besides, are you complaining?”

abby snorts, “no, i guess i’m not.”

ellie takes off her shirt and pants, leaving her sports bra on as she puts on the strap. “anderson, lie down on the ground.”

too everyone’s surprise, abby follows ellie’s order.

“good girl.” ellie motions to you, “and you, take off your jeans and sit on her face, okay?”

you nod quickly, stripping completely naked before crawling onto abby. you look into your eyes, “you okay with this?”

abby nods eagerly, “very okay.”

you grin and situate yourself over her face, and you don’t have any warning before abby’s strong arms wrap around your thighs and pull you down so you’re fully sitting on her face.

you moan involuntarily as abby’s tongue laps over your wet cunt, completely vulgar noises coming from her mouth with a muffled, “you taste fucking incredible-“

ellie watches as abby pleasures you, and she rubs the base of the strap against her clit as she admires the two of you.

abby starts sucking on your clit and you moan loud, your eyes rolling back into your head. ellie approaches you two, watching abby eat you out.

ellie kneels down behind you, pressing her chest to your bare back, “wanna try and take me, baby?”

you nod eagerly, “please.”

ellie doesn’t need anyone confirmation before slipping two fingers into your pussy, curling them as abby suckles your clit. you moan loudly, your breaths heavy.

“so fuckin’ tight… you’re gonna feel fucking incredible on my cock, baby, i promise-“ ellie says as she takes out her fingers, sucking them clean, “fuck, abby wasn’t lying, you taste good.”

ellie positions her strap, rubbing the tip over your folds to tease you a little. you whimper, and that’s about all ellie can take before slipping the strap into you. you’re now on your hands and knees, with abby below you still at work on your clit, and ellie behind you as she starts thrusting into you.

“that pretty pussy is so fucking desperate for us, huh?” ellie says, her core tight as she grips your hips.

you moan at that, nodding, intense pleasure coursing through your body.

ellie laughs a little, thrusting harder, “do you have any fucking idea what you did to us out there, pretty girl? fucking distracting us- so fucking sexy-“ ellie pants, her eyes rolling back as she gets the friction she needs on her clit.

your orgasm is rapidly approaching, your body overwhelmed with stimulation. “i-i’m gonna-“

you nearly scream as you climax, your legs shaking with pleasure as you writhe around. ellie watches with a big grin on her face, fucking you as hard and as fast as she can through it.

when you come down, abby lifts you off her face with ease, “my turn.”

ellie takes off the strap and passes it to ellie, “oh, think you can fuck her better?”

abby huffs a laugh, “i know i can, williams.”

abby puts on the strap and strips off her clothes, keeping you in doggy as ellie come’s around in front of your face. ellie takes off her sports bra and boxers, sitting in front of your and spreading her legs, exposing strings of her arousal between her thighs, her auburn bush soaked in pre-cum.

you waste no time before diving in, your tongue lapping up her juices. ellie grunts and her hands fly to your head, keeping you in place, “jesus fucking christ-“

abby takes this moment to lick your cunt up from behind, tasting your cum from your previous orgasm before lining the strap up with your entrance and thrusting in deep without warning.

you moan into ellie’s pussy, and thrust your tongue down her entrance before replacing it with two fingers. ellie moans again, her eyes squeezing shut.

ellie fucked you relentlessly and hard, making you see stars, but abby fucks you like she’s trying to savor every moment, her eyes locked on your pussy as it stretches around the strap.

“you were made to take this dick, oh my god,” abby moans, thrusting deep and slow.

ellie starts whimpering as you suck on her clit, thrusting your fingers hard into her.

abby laughs a little at ellie’s reaction, never having seen ellie so docile.

“awww, you just needed to get your shitty attitude fucked out of you, huh, williams?”

ellie can barely respond, her head tilted back as you pleasure her, her stomach muscles trembling.

abby starts fucking you a little faster, wrapping an arm around you to play with your clit.

“can you give me one, princess? i don’t wanna be left out…” abby says, her chest pressed against your back as she fucks you.

every time you moan against ellie’s clit, still sucking it, and it sends delicious vibrations through it, amplifying ellie’s pleasure and making her tip over the edge, crying out as she climaxes.

you work ellie through her climax, despite your 2nd impending climax building in your lower belly.

as soon as she’s done, ellie stands up and moves behind abby, running her hands all over abby’s body.

abby moans as ellie plays with her nipple, her other hand coming down to squeeze abby’s ass before slipping a finger into abby’s cunt as abby fucks you.

abby moans unexpectedly, “fucking christ- more, elllie-“

ellie grins and slips in another finger, pumping her fingers in time with abby’s thrusts, curling them up each time ellie’s fingers bottom out.

abby’s pants come quicker, rubbing your clit faster. just as you’re sent into your next orgasm, abby cries out, fucking herself into you as she cums on ellie’s fingers.

when you both come down, abby slowly slips out of you, sitting on the cold locker room floor and leaning against ellie as abby pulls you into her lap.

“feeling okay?” abby asks as ellie brushes your hair out of your sweaty face.

you laugh weakly, still panting, “much better than okay.”

both girls giggle a little at that, and ellie asks with a cocky smirk, “so… who fucked you better?”

abby elbows ellie and ellie rolls her eyes, rubbing her arm.

you smirk a little and say, “hmmm… it was hard to tell. maybe we’ll have to do this again sometime to repeat the study, y’know?”

abby grins as ellie laughs, squeezing your thigh.

“well, in that case, we have to. in the name of accurate results. science, even.” ellie says as she settles in to abby’s side.

abby laughs this time, one arm wrapping around ellie’s bare shoulders, “damn, i guess we do.”

#rose writes #ellie williams #tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams smut #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby x reader #ellabs x reader #ellabs #abby anderson

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mxltifxnd0m · 2 months ago

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sub! sammy headcanons ⟡ s. winchester

pairings: sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x fem! reader [can be read as gn/afab! reader]

word count: 1.5K

warnings: mentions of sub/dom dynamics, cursing, oral m/f receiving, praise, hair pulling, sam being a brat, pain/marking kink, bondage, pegging, choking, cock- warming, written with early seasons sam in mind, barely edited

a/n: MINORS DNI!! i will use the block button if you do :) anyways i was inspired by the whimper audio of jared in house of wax and it sparked this idea that i got around too lol

also, i will be posting a weekly recap of my week during this semester of school so go and check that out! ik i said i wouldn't be posting that often, but perhaps i lied, but then again its only the first week back lol

anyways enjoy! please like, comment, and reblog!! your feedback fuels me loll!

𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

⟡ a preface? idk some pre thots before the headcanons lol

okay so in my mind, sam is a soft dom 100% but can be a switch when the situation calls for it

due to his stature, it can be hard to imagine sam as a sub, but trust me, he can be

i think he’s more of a sub when he’s younger, like in the earlier seasons of the show

but in the later seasons, he def would want more control in his sex life (would go more in-depth about this, but this is not the place for that lol)

anyways time for the headcanons loll

⟡⟡⟡

⟡ praise kink

is this even a debate?? The answer is no its not loll

this goes both ways; he loves giving you praise but also receiving it

thrives on the pet names you give him “pretty boy”, “handsome”, “good boy”, etc.

makes his brain turn into literal mush and doubles down on whatever he’s doing to do, whether it's going down on you or fucking you straight into the mattress or thrusting up into you harder as you’re on top of him

⟡ certified muncher

mari did some NSFW headcanons a while back for sam (check that out!) and i mentioned that he was a certified muncher and i stand by it 100%

sam is a pussy fiend™️

like do we not remember that sam had a sex dream about bela and he “went down” on her???

yeah, you can’t sit here and tell me he isn’t one but yes he loves going down on you!!

he’s obsessed with the taste of you and how warm you are as he drags his tongue through your slit

if he gets just a taste, he's a fucking goner he gets pussydrunk so fast he’s damn good at it too

ruts his hips into the mattress unconsciously as he goes down on you because giving you pleasure gets him off

is obsessed when you ride his face, like yes use his face to cum!

like he loves the feeling of your thighs cushioning his ears as you grind against his face, his nose bumping your clit perfectly as his tongue is as deep as he can get in your cunt and lets out muffled groans, sending vibrations through you, and makes you rut into his face even harder

could (and has) cummed untouched just by eating you out there have been times when you had to physically haul him off of you because you were overstimulated to the point where it almost hurt

“pretty boy, please.” your voice was wrecked as your hands were weaved into his brown hair and tugged him away from your cunt. he whined like a baby when you pulled him off, and sam looked like the poster boy of debauchery. the bottom half of his face slick with your arousal, lips puffy and pink as his hair was standing up in all different directions, and his eyes were glazed over with lust.

⟡ hair pulling

speaking of his hair standing up in different directions the man loves and i mean LOVES, getting his hair tugged/pulled at

sam likes it when you play with it, he curls up into your lap as you play with it, but as you start, you tug on it lightly; low moans and whimpers leave his mouth as he burrows into your lap and shoves his face in your crotch

but he loves it when you tug on it as he goes down you, sending jolts of pleasure through his spine and to his cock

one time, he came in his boxers when the two of you had an early morning makeout session, and you tugged a little too hard, and he let out a choked moan against your lips. you pulled away from him for him to shove his head in the crook of your neck, riding out his orgasm. when he came out of his hiding spot, he had a red hue on his cheeks as he looked sheepish

⟡ vocal

oh, this man is vocal [this whimper audio is what sparked this all] at first, he was shy about making noise, only letting out small grunts and groans

but as you guys were together for longer, you slowly coaxed it out of him

“come on, make some noise for me, handsome; wanna hear you,” you said as you kissed around his hips and down his v-lines, scraping your teeth along the skin before kissing the tip of his cock. A small groan left his lips before a louder moan erupted from his chest as you took his tip in your mouth and suckled on it.

But once he got over not making noise, oh god, he sounded beautiful as you overstimulated him and milked him for what he was worth as he let out noises and babbled out nonsense from his cum-drunk mind.

⟡ bratty

we’ve seen the sass on this man; he is 100% capable of being a brat

but when he is one, he revels in being difficult

but it just means you get to put this 6’4 man in his place (you act like it doesn’t do wonders for your ego, but it does lol)

when he acts like a brat, you’re rougher with him, and sam loves it he loves feeling the sting of your hand against his ass or the scraping of your nails along his chest as you ride him

this also means you edge him for hours, bringing him to the edge, his cock drooling precum and flushed red. tears leak from his eyes as he whines, the noise echoing through the empty motel room.

“pl-please! I wanna cum.” sam’s voice was higher than it had ever sounded and absolutely ruined from the amount of times that you’ve denied him sweet relief. you clicked your tongue at him, “have you learned your lesson?” your hand was tight around the base of his cock as you planted teasing kisses around his pelvis and thighs, sucking hickeys wherever you so pleased.

⟡ pain/marking kink

sam isn’t one to love pain, considering the life he leads but he relishes in the pleasurable pain of your marks.

loves to feel the slight sting on his back as he stretches or puts on his shirt from your nails biting into his skin and scratching it up his thighs being sensitive and tender from the number of hickeys that you left in your wake as you blew him

sam didn’t think he’d like being slapped, but you asked him if you could and he was surprised that he moaned in response as a red handprint bloomed on his face (you don’t do it often, but its always welcomed if you do it)

⟡ bondage

sam has the innocent facade down to a T, but he’s a kinky motherfucker behind those puppy dog eyes of his

loves being tied up and at your mercy he doesn’t mind handcuffs, but he’s more partial to the silk ropes you use to tie his arms together and to the headboard and use him in any way you wanted

he knows that he could get out of the ties if you wanted (you guys have a system in place to let the other know if they want to tap out), but he likes surrendering himself to you and knows that you’ll take good care of him

when you get him all tied up and when you’re done with him, he’s practically shaking with pleasure and blissed out to the point where he doesn’t know where he is sometimes

sam in shibari makes you go feral (you learned how to do the ties and mentioned it to him one day and pleaded for you to do it on him)

⟡⟡⟡

bonus headcanons!

⟡ pegging

it was an experience that you both thoroughly enjoyed

he finally had gotten a piece of what you were like the day after of an intense night with sam sam was surprised by the ache he felt, but it was a pleasant one

this was one of the times when he was the loudest, and it’s one of his favorite things to do with you

⟡ choking

you don’t exactly choke him you either leave your hand on his neck to rest there as your hips swivel around his cock

or you put the slightest amount of pressure on his neck, not cutting off his airflow but the blood flow, and when you let go, he was catapulted into an orgasm so hard his eyes crossed.

⟡ cock-warming

he loves it when, after an intense session, staying connected to you as long as he can

sometimes, after you guys clean up and head for bed, he always asks if he could just stay in you since it’s comforting for him You always oblige him since you love it, too

It’s slightly uncomfortable at first; his soft cock doesn’t exactly sink in as smoothly compared to when he’s hard

but the two of you sleep soundly until the morning, where he had grown harder in you as the night progressed, and it usually leads to slow morning sex

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immodestly-marina · 14 days ago

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Y’all I need some ideas frfr,, here’s all I got goin so far so lemme know what you wanna see first <3

#sam winchester #sam winchester smut #sam winchester x reader #sub!sam winchester #supernatural #spn #smut #jared padalecki

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devilmademewriteit · 1 year ago

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If You Lie Down With Me

pairing: (pre-ellie) dbf!joel miller x fem!afab!reader

summary: there’s only one guy in all of boston that can get you a morning after pill. unfortunately, on top of being a huge asshole, Joel Miller also happens to be your dad’s closest peer.

warnings: rough sex / smut (masturbation, fem penetration, oral [m receiving]) so 18+ only content; unprotected sex; light choking & restraint; light dom/sub dynamic; fem afab reader; reader has long-ish hair (that gets touched); plot-typical violence (guns, death); plot deviations (no Tess); medication ingestion; pet names (baby, sweetheart, angel); dubcon (slight intoxication, power imbalance, no explicit consent).

word count: 6.5k+

no use of y/n in this fic

alright y’all I’m baaaaAAAaack! so this is basically the other version of Dark But Just a Game that I started back when I was writing it & figured I’d finish it to get out of my hiatus. like any devilmademewriteit fic, it’s dark and nasty and deprived like meeeeeee <3 hope u enjoy !

don’t forget to reblog, check out my masterlist, sign up for the taglist, & leave any comments / feedback / & suggestions!

(ps: new part of Salvatore up next !)

—

“three times the guy I ever thought I would meet, so don't say you're over me when we both know that you lie”

— lana del rey, ‘If You Lie Down With Me’

—

Fuck.

Waking up to a racing heart, a pounding head, and a stomach swimming with nausea was never ideal, although it was always a better experience alone — when you could squint and hiss at the light slicing through the weaknesses in the drapes without hearing your groans echoed by a lower, louder, and annoyingly more pitiful voice.

Right. What was his name?

Jared? Jordan? Jermaine?

Ah, who cares.

If he’d wanted a safe place to nurse his hangover, he shouldn’t have fallen asleep in your bed. Sure, the odds of dad being conscious at this hour (especially the odds after a party like last night’s) were Kate Moss — no, Rolling Stones — slim, but the man would get up at some point, meaning that this poor J-whatever was likely sleeping through his only window of escape from certain homicide.

You whisper. You shake him gently. You gingerly tap the roundness of his bicep.

Huh — Not bad.

You congratulate last-night-you for reeling in this morning’s good-looking catch.

Still… nothing. Not a twitch. Nary a croaked ‘lemmesleep’ graces your ears.

After loosing an exasperated sigh and running through your options, you decide to take the most effective (and least girl-next-door) route. The corner of your elbow collides with his ribs, and the boy jumps up, his loose, blonde curls as wild as his eyes, searching the room for his attacker.

You want to smile at the scene, but the motion hurts your head.

“Y’gotta go,” you croak out, thumbs rubbing circles against your aching temples.

He collapses onto his back, copying your movement with his own fingers to his brow. “God. I feel like shit.”

Despite muttering your agreement, you let your eyelashes flutter closed and your weight turn you away from last night’s paramour: no use figuring out who he is after the (f)act — that just makes it personal.

After a few breaths, the boy moves back up to a shakey sitting position.

Probably sourcing for his clothes.

He reeks of booze and sex — but then again, so do you. His roughened, unfamiliar tenor climbs to barely above a whisper, “Z’something stuck on my leg… blood, or something…”

His interrupting your suffering comes as a deeply unwelcome annoyance, so you try to sort him out to clear him out: “Prolly just the condom,” you mumble, rolling back onto your shoulders, reluctantly supervising his movements.

He lifts up fully, sitting criss-cross and pulling his calf towards him.

“No,” he tries to laugh but succumbs to the nausea, settling for a low breath instead, “S’blood, dude, from beer darts — and I didn’t use a condom.”

Your eyes immediately dart over, settling on his naked, wretched, shivering form. He notices your ire and the hitching of your throat, immediately defensive.

“I asked if you wanted to.”

Unfortunately, he had. The memories of your drunken entanglement start to resurface inside your mind. “It just feels better without one.” This time, you curse last-night-you for being such a careless, inconsiderate, horny bastard.

You’re making problems for me, girl.

“J’s get out.”

J-whatever spares no time complying, collecting his few strewn belongings and staggering out the front door. Once it slides shut, so too do your poor, weary eyes.

Shit.

There goes the afternoon.

Getting your hands on condoms in the QZ was at least fifteen times easier than snatching a morning after pill. Those were a hot commodity, especially among the younger, less responsible crowds.

Luckily for you, as a member of aforementioned younger, less responsible crowds, you knew where your best chances lay in finding whatever it was you needed (if what you needed was deeply immoral or wholly illegal). Unluckily for you, that ‘best chance’ happened to be your dad’s closest and longest-running business partner: temperamental, judgemental, frustratingly competent, Joel ‘Local Asshole’ Miller.

But that could all be dealt with after another eight hours of sleep.

—

Opportunity strikes sooner than expected.

Miller’s in your living room by the time you wake up, the low rumble of his southern baritone recognizable even through the closed door. After scrambling to throw on some clothes, you press an ear to the chipping paint, hoping to determine the number of bodies gathered in your home.

Not many. Just Miller (and the old man, of course).

The latter’s presence bodes ill for you. This would all have to be done in secret, which was not an uncommon strategy where ever the former was involved. No one dealt with Joel Miller to conduct clean-cut, wholesome activities. No one was calling him up for a spare copy of the holy book.

No, getting him alone was essential.

A drink slams down on the counter. After a good, patient ten minutes, you hear your father (‘s rather crude way of) excusing himself to the washroom and heavy-set footsteps decrescendoing down the hall.

This is it.

You slip through the door.

At first, your company takes no notice of you, his eyes still glued to the maps and papers littering the counter before him.

Then, a low grumble: “fun night?”

His voice makes you weak in the knees — an involuntary, near ritual-like response you’d noticed around your mid teens and hadn’t managed to kick yet.

You swallow before responding. “Yes.”

It’s all you manage to muster. Miller finally looks up, wincing slightly as his back straightens. He looks tired, at least more than usual, with his wild, grey-streaked hair tousled and the lines by his mouth cutting deep into his skin.

You’re sure you don’t look much better, a suspicion proven by the man’s slowly spreading, barely-noticeable smirk. That gaze makes you self conscious, mute; your right hand snakes up, absent-mindedly dragging a fallen bra strap back to its proper position.

“So, what was his name?”

He’s teasing, sure, but Miller was there last night. He’d always had sharper perceptions than your father did, especially — and ironically — when it came to you. That skill tended to squander your confidence as the daughter of a modern-day mafia-boss and the owner of a hard, violent heart.

Rushed by the sound of your father’s footsteps, you default to honesty.

“I don’t remember.”

“Try.”

“Josh.”

Amusement flits across his stern expression. “Again.”

“Jamie.”

“Warmer.”

“J-J-something—”

“Gettin’ colder, sweetheart—”

“I need the pill.”

It just tumbles out, an exasperated, desperate plea. Miller, a bit taken aback by your candor, drains of his previous playfulness. You almost notice the split second those dark eyes glaze over. For a second, you’re almost convinced he’s distracted by his imagination’s recreations of the act that had you making such a request.

You almost notice the tingling between your thighs.

He stares. You stare back.

Fuck.

It was moments like this that made you wish Tess was still around. Oh, she wouldn’t be any kinder — no, not at all — but she’d certainly be more professional. Tess was all work, no play. Joel was…

You’re enjoying this, you bastard. You’re enjoying that I’m cornered like this, aren’t you?

The bathroom handle clicks when it turns, and your heart drops into your toes.

Maybe Miller really wasn’t going to help you. Maybe he didn’t have the pill and you’d just embarrassed yourself for nothing. Or, maybe he did, but preferred outing you to your dad at the very first opportunity — letting him deal with you the only way he knew how.

Your fears seem confirmed: his eyes leave the grace of your own, trailing back to his big, splayed hands on the countertop. Unwelcome tears burn the corners of your eyes as the panic begins to set in, as footsteps begin to fall…

“Mine. Tonight.”

It’s low and rushed, but it’s clear, cutting off to the sound of your father lumbering in. A man who saw, thought, and lived through transactions, he’s (thankfully) blissfully ignorant of the tension collapsing around him.

“Morning,” he throws your way.

A taunt, of course — it was well past noon.

You nod in acknowledgement, slowly backing into the doorway of your sacred, beckoning room. They resume their conversation from before, letting you sink into irrelevance.

Before shutting yourself in, you catch a few of Miller’s hushed words. They’re spoken casually to your father but, you later decide, surely meant for you:

“Not that one kid — Jeremy — don’t trust him.”

The door seals (well, not seals… it creaks on its rusty hinges and squeezes into its shrinking frame), and relief courses through you, reaching the very tips of your fingers.

That only lasts a minute.

Soon, you’re negotiating with the rising anxiety of being at Miller’s place alone, asking for his help with a problem that could’ve been avoided if you’d only kept your legs shut.

Alone with Miller, the both of you knowing that you hadn’t.

Crawling back under your covers, you begrudgingly make a vow of celibacy. If this was the cost of attention and a (potential) mid-range orgasm, you were about to become very frugal.

Dreams come easy, but they don’t come sweet.

Flashes of last night’s sins overlay Joel Miller’s unintelligible speech, his voice from the next room over lulling you into a rather confusing, disturbed sleep.

—

At nighttime, it’s a short walk to his building.

Down this alley, past this street, up this back stairwell. Part of being in with Boston’s seedy underbelly gained you access to the best and most up-to-date intel; by the age of twelve, you could run the safest — well, least policed — post-curfew routes from memory.

(Which had come in handy in situations a lot more dire than this.)

Sneaking in was easy, although you cursed him for being so preoccupied during the day. Coming in at this hour required some delicate maneuvers through a half-shattered window, and a less-than-graceful leap down left you with a nick on your cheekbone and a shallow cut along the side of your hand.

Thankfully, the blood mostly dries on your walk up the six or eight or ten flights of stairs. You don’t resent the exercise; it feels good to move, putting the jitters building in every still moment in abeyance.

Still moments like the kind that passes after a barely-audible, coded knock delivered by a girl sucking on the side of her hand, almost wishing for the door not to open.

It does.

He’s in jeans — dirty jeans, dusty — and a simple flannel. It’s Miller — it’s Miller at his most Joel-Miller-like-ness.

So why am I so fucking nervous?

He holds the door open, brows knitting at the sight of your hand in your mouth.

“Window,” You offer.

He mouthes a silent ‘ah,’ before leaning forward to duck his head out the door and, in the process, somewhat sandwiching you against his chest.

Maybe it’s because he smells like forest-fires, but your skin burns red-hot.

Miller looks both ways, checking the status of the hall (empty), then nudges you into the dim light of his place with the weight of his hand against your lower back.

The door shuts behind you.

You’d been here at least a million times before, but the thoughts rising now feel so… new. The jacket strewn on the side of the sagging sofa is his — Joel Miller has sat at this table and showered, slept, fucked inside these walls.

Cut it out. It’s just ‘cause you’re alone. And older.

But what about it, now that you were alone and older?

Old enough to know what goes on between a man and a woman and a little bit of desperation at just the right amounts… and there sure was a lot of him, and some desperation, too…

“Nervous?”

Your feet hit the floor, all thoughts evaporating at the sound of his word. Blushing, you try to de-code his taunt, spoken with playfulness and too much condescension.

“Wh — what’d you — nervous for what? No.”

He’s already across the room, sifting through a box of miscellaneous items. A yellowed lamp shade catches his side-profile, illuminates the smirk spreading across his face. Then, a low command:

“Relax,” and your spine settles, acceding to his wish. “Some girls get nervous, y’know, takin’ it the first time.”

Oh.

You clear your throat, daring to take a step into his place, incensed enough to trace the indents and stab-marks decorating his kitchen table.

“No.”

You’re taken aback by the accuracy and the strength underpinning your answer. It’s true, you aren’t afraid, and hadn’t been afraid of much in a very long while.

What’s a Joel Miller to your best friend’s public hanging? What’s he to a dozen rows of semi automatics raining down on your zigzagging toes? What’s he to a period cramp?

Like a bolt of lightning hitting you in the chest, that cocky, gauche and indelicate rebel you’d grown into reappears.

“I’ve been told I take things pretty well my first time.” The tension rises — this time, at your command — just as Joel does, carrying a leather pouch in his right hand. “And it’s not, anyways,” you add for good measure.

The leather drops onto the marked-up table. Joel crosses his arms.

“Not sellin’ me on givin’ you one of these, sweetheart.”

He gestures to the bag.

A mock-frown as you draw closer to him. His eyes, although severe, reflect the playfulness dancing in your own.

“Why not?” You ask, voice dripping with false innocence.

Joel’s gaze doesn’t stray as it hardens, focused on your own. “They’re for accidents, mistakes, attacks,” he explains, deep and dangerous, “Not girls who can’t keep their pretty lil’ legs together.”

Oof.

On one hand, it sounds like he’s genuinely chastising you for your careless behaviour. But, on the other, he sounds jealous, taunting, hungry.

I’ll play that hand.

Sleeping all day had left you wide awake, and that long-time, school-girl crush on the man before you was dying for content to fantasize about. Even if he pushed you off, you’d get to feel the weight of his hands on your body, right?

So, you return with a taunt of your own: “You think my legs are pretty?”

He shakes his head, his signature scowl spreading as he mostly ignores you. “I think you should at least use condoms,” a breath, “N’ know their first names.”

Ouch.

“I usually do.” you murmur, “and it broke last night.”

“Bullshit.”

“What do you mean, bullshit?”

Joel sighs and lowers himself into one of the four old, rickety chairs lining the table. His hand comes up to his temples and you notice how his legs, exhausted, part.

The man doesn’t deign to respond.

Irritation begins to well in your core, sneaking through your arms and up into your throat. The muscle in your jaw must be twitching like crazy.

How does he know? How the fuck does he always know?

Across the QZ, as a skilled liar and born and bred bandit, people tended to hold whatever image of you that you’d crafted for them.

Not Joel. Never Joel.

He saw through you in a way that had always felt… intimate. It was one of the reasons, you guessed, he didn’t dare spend too much time alone with you and why you’d always been curious about him (as a man, of course). Now, there was no avoiding your obvious vulnerability from either of you — you were stripped bare, your dressings in his hand.

It makes you want to flee as much as it makes you want to leap into his arms.

You snatch up the pouch, opening it up to find a mass of differently coloured and shaped pills. Rifling through, you ignore Joel’s stare boring into your hands’ erratic search.

“Yellow ones,” he says.

“I know what they look like,” you retort.

“‘Course you do.”

He moves faster than he should be able to.

One moment, your palm is slicing through the air, headed straight for the highest point of his cheek. The next, you’re facedown on the table. Your attacking hand is caged in by a much larger, much stronger one, pinned to the decaying wood; the other, he pins behind your back. Pills litter the floor — Joel’s boot crunches into a wayward one as he adjusts himself behind you, leaning over your struggling, smaller frame, immobilizing you with his weight.

“Let go of me—” you hiss, words smothered by the wooden surface pressed to your profile.

“—Shut up ‘n listen,” he commands, leaning over to tower over his trapped victim. “Try that again n’I’ll do worse’n kill you. Understand?”

Despite the authenticity of his threat, a strangled laugh wracks your lungs.

“Gonna turn me in for contraband, Miller? Watch them gun me down in the square?”

You smile through your heavy breaths. There, behind your hips, is a growing movement indicative of some other kind of punishment he’s got in mind.

“Or,” you continue on coyly, “Give me another reason to need that pill?”

Joel pauses, untangling your meaning.

Then, an exasperated scoff. His hold tightens on your wrist and you wince. “You always thinkin’ of the fastest way to get a man to fuck you?”

“Only when his cock’s pressed against my ass.”

He goes quiet — only for a moment. Somewhere outside, rounds echo through the night.

“Z’that what you want?” His voice is deep and threatening, promising of the kind of hard, mind-numbing fuck you’d been craving for weeks.

After a hard swallow, you nod, catching the raise of his eyebrows in your periphery.

A moment passes as he mulls over your answer. Only your shallow, anticipatory breaths populate the quiet space.

“Alright.”

And he lets go.

Heart racing, wrists aching, you flip around to his neutral, impenetrable expression.

“Get down on your knees.”

Without taking a moment to decide whether you’re living anything more than just a really fucked up dream, you sink to your knees, folding your hands in your lap (to stop them from shaking). Before you, Joel’s bulge twitches while he watches you yielding to submission, and you try to ignore the excitement building between your own two legs.

His eyes burn into yours: black, starved, weighty. He tells you to shut your own and you do, unable to resist the tone of his command. Within the self-imposed darkness, Joel’s following order — ‘open your mouth,’ — parts your lips as if they were under his spell. You wonder what you must look like to him, needy and ready to receive whatever you’re given.

He speaks again.

“Show me your tongue, angel.”

The gruffness punctuating his arousal doesn’t let you stand a chance. You let your mouth fall open wider.

Next, there’s rustling. You try to remember whether or not he’d had on a belt, listening and failing to hear the soft clinks of a buckle coming undone.

Too soon, something wraps around your chin — thick, calloused fingers — and the pressure of a thumb running down the middle of your tongue sends a rush of electricity down every stacked vertebrae. It’s slow, tantalizingly slow, as if the man were trying to memorize the feel of every groove, ridge, and bud on his leisurely way out.

When Joel drops his hand, a small weight remains at the back of your throat.

“Close.”

You do, opening your eyes to meet his own: severe and wanting — or wanting for severity?

It’s a pill. That much is obvious once the taste begins to spread, bitter and chemical and totally gag-worthy. He follows up with ‘swallow’ for his own sick enjoyment; by the time he says it, it’s clear that you already have.

What kind of game is this, Miller?

Your cheeks burn when your company kneels down. He places his big, broad hand partly on your neck, partly to the side of your jaw, and you’re still too taken aback to tear it off. The feel of his rough palm against your racing pulse silences every urge to enact revenge. Words don’t come — too quickly forgotten on one’s knees.

“You’re way too easy for your own good, sweetheart,” he near-whispers, shooting to kill in a blow packed tight with condescension. “Don’t let me see you here again.”

And that’s it: your cue to get lost.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Miller pulls away from your reddening skin, straightening to stand. You follow suit soon after, heart pumping lead, tongue bruised by the memory of his touch (more overwhelming than the metallic residue dripping down your throat).

He turns, running a few fingers through his hair. It’s the last look you get before resigning yourself to the journey back home.

Still, before turning the rusted handle, in a brief moment of respite, of clarity, you seize the final word:

“I’m only ‘easy’ when I’m drunk. Or interested.”

Silence courses through the room as Joel registers the meaning behind your confession.

“Goodnight, Miller.”

With that, you see yourself into the hallway, checking its status before tearing into the stairwell.

You barely breathe.

He wanted me — he had to have wanted me.

Miller was a pragmatic player; surely, he’d only bother to play with toys he liked like that… right?

Right?

Unable to clear your head or cool the heat radiating through your core, you take the long way home, the distant sounds of a war between rivals soothing the cacophony of noise swimming between your ears.

—

For the next two weeks, all you’re able to think about is him.

You think about him when he’s gone and when he’s in the room, grumbling in hushed tones to your father. You think about him when you’re unable to fall asleep, letting your hands slip beneath the waistband of your shorts, imagining your own fingers as thick, tan ones running through the warmth between your legs.

He takes no notice of you — a fact you deeply resent. Even in your skimpiest clothing, he’s like a damn horse with blinders on. You decide, in the past weeks, he’d either acquired the patience of Job or purged every sinful craving from his system when he’d stuck his fingers down your throat.

Naturally, you’re more than happy when, at breakfast (two in the afternoon), your father gives you the heads up about tonight’s gathering at the Bar (which was really just an asbestos-ridden basement equipped with enough prohibition-style gadgets and architecture to host a good ‘strategic meeting’ every other month).

“Everyone’s gonna be there,” he mumbles. “Need you to keep your ears open. Had to take a couple rats out last week…”

Everyone’s gonna be there.

Smiling to yourself, your thoughts start to spin out. Business, distractions, booze. Tonight would host a million opportunities for you to get him alone.

Hope blooms through your chest.

Do your worst, Miller.

—

“Man, I wish we could’ve experienced cocktails. Straight hooch is ass.”

A peer named Mel, just a year older than yourself, cringes as she sips on whatever murky liquor’s found its way into her cup.

You don’t mind the taste so much, having grown mostly immune to its taste and burn. In fact, you’d come to welcome the subsequent lapse in breath and judgement.

There was little else in this world that made you feel alive.

“Mhm,” you respond absent-mindedly, looking for a familiar scowl among the mass of scowls peppering the crowd.

A sigh to your right. “Always awesome, having your attention.”

The criticism snaps you back into your body. You smile sheepishly at your friend, apologizing through a wince.

She shrugs, her raggedy, pin-decorated jacket jingling with the movement. “S’okay. Known you long enough to know that look.”

For that, she receives a quizzical glance.

Mel comes back with a scoff. “No victims tonight?”

“Oh god,” you shoot her a look of disgust. “Do you mind not using such weird vocabulary? Make me sound like a predator.”

As the words tumble out, you zero in on the object of your search. There he is: eyebrows knit together in concentration, drink in hand, unsurprisingly (and annoyingly) in conversation with your father. A few other stragglers are in the mix, too, but they’re easily overlooked. Time slows to a full stop in his wake —only for the briefest of seconds —

“Well since the last guy actually wound up dead a week later, I think it’s fitting.”

Once again, Mel’s managed to wrangle your interest.

You stare blankly into her onyx eyes, ringlets falling through molasses around her face. “Jeremy?”

And she’s bewildered. “You didn’t hear?”

This time, both of your heads turn in the same direction.

“Ratted to FEDRA about the storehouse off tenth,” she explains, gesturing towards Miller and your father with a tilt of her head. Famous for her bravery, she stoops into your shoulder, averting his gaze and speaking under her breath, “Judging by the way they found him, my guess is it was mostly Miller’s stuff.”

It’s as if she’d screamed it.

The subject of your conversation turns to face you right as your company’s words drift off. Despite the level of noise, the amount of people, and the cloudiness of the air, you’re trapped in the corridor of your mutual stare, cornered.

The challenge, the knowing marking his expression.

“I need some air.”

You twist into the body standing behind you, shoving row after row of criminal scum out of the way. Mel doesn’t follow — she’d never hung around to comfort you, only to inform you. A mutual, typical relationship for the age, and just how things worked in the QZ.

You slam into the door, stomping into a deserted, silent alley, empty save for a few drunk strays. Your lips begin to tingle and a scream builds inside your lungs. Stalking blindly into the night, unsure of your direction, alone in half a top and a plain, ass-length skirt, shivering despite the warmth of the air…

You’re practically begging for trouble.

Just as your eyes catch the numbers on the old, rusted street sign above, just as you realize you’re on a monitored street tonight, only safe after curfew every other Monday and Wednesday, you’re grabbed by the waist, pulled into the space between two buildings, and shoved into a sheltered nook.

A dim, yellow light clicks on automatically. There’s a door (chained closed) leading into the building to your left and darkness to your right.

And there’s Joel Miller above you, his expression indeterminable.

“You asshole,” you barely hear yourself breathe over the sound of the blood rushing in your ears before lunging forward in a useless attempt to, once again, strike his profile.

He catches your wrist, no doubt having anticipated the attack. It’s written on your face, in your eyes, in your shallow, uneven inhalations. He takes your other hand before you’ve even thought to use it, lifting it above your head and slamming it against the old stucco behind you.

“You’re violent,” he says flatly.

He tightens his hold when you struggle against it. “Proud of yourself, yeah? You’re a killer.”

That inspires a slight smirk. You half expect him to return with an ‘as if you didn’t already know that.’

Instead, he says, “Sweetheart, you didn’t even know his name.”

“You should’ve told me.”

And that’s the real source of this anger: it’s rage at being the last to know.

And for what? To protect your feelings? Since when had anyone in your life bothered to do that?

“And don’t call me ‘sweetheart’,” you add for good measure.

You’d wanted him to touch you so badly for weeks now, but here, scorned at being left in the dark and confused at the death of a paramour, you only want to get free.

“And what’d he call you?” He spits, leaning down and in, inadvertently pressing his thigh between your legs — when his breath grazes the skin of your ear, it causes them to part (against your better judgement). “Got lots of names, right?” He continues to tease, “Heard your boyfriend’s pretty one for you before I shut him up — ‘that fuckin’ slut,’ f’I’m rememberin’ right.”

Despite your rage-shakes, you’re warming at the core, Joel’s pressure against it dizzying your already-addled head. It confuses you, makes the scorn easier to access.

“How did I come up, Miller?” You exhale, jutting your chin towards him. “Couldn’t help asking for all the dirty little details, could you?”

He smiles, and the act lacks any sort of kindness. “‘Lot easier gettin’ him alone once he thought he was meetin’ you.” Joel slams your wrist harder into the wall when you try to wriggle away. “Not sure you wanna keep making that kind of impression, angel.”

It’s hard to rationalize with him so close, as his pet-names echoe inside your head. He’d used your name to enact gang-law violence on a boy who’d been inside you, and yet, all you can think, all you can hear, is the way ‘sweetheart’ sounds tumbling off his lips.

“Fucking let me go, Miller,” you manage to exasperate, resenting the begging edge to every word. “I don’t need another abstinence lecture from you.”

Kicking one ankle off balance, Joel turns you around, pressing your stomach to the wall, your back into his chest. Ignoring your whines and pitiful struggle, he wraps a free hand around your neck, pushing your head against his collarbone. Your stomach erupts with butterflies as the rough pad of his thumb traces the front of your throat.

Yes — no — yes, he wants me — no, no, this is wrong, this is so wrong —

“‘Be wasted on you, anyways,” he says, rough and earnest, like his hand sliding down your chest, your breasts, your stomach, “Startin’ to realize if I can’t fix your dad’s mistakes…” and he’s finding the hem of your skirt and yanking it up, bunching the fabric around your hips —

“Might as well take advantage of them.”

He moves hungrily. He’s everywhere, sliding into your underwear and across your breasts, his big arms and suffocating biceps enveloping your entire frame.

“Joel—”

But he claps a hand over your mouth, silencing any hope of your pleas being effective.

“Think I haven’t seen you? Your lil’ looks…” a low laugh, “n’ those fuckin’ clothes?” God, the rumble, the sheer want in his voice hammers at your initial resistance, and you feel yourself welcoming the feel of his thick, long fingers, sliding between your wet folds. You’re clay, melting against the curved, firm wall of his chest.

You mewl pathetically into his palm.

Another low laugh wracks his lungs, dances at the top of your ear.

“Knew you’d be this wet for me.”

“Knew since you got down on your knees,” Joel continues, uncovering your mouth only to ease a few fingers between your lips — lips that part as though commanded, and a mouth that welcomes and caresses whatever it receives, “‘N opened this pretty lil’ mouth for me to fuck it. Can’t close my eyes without seein’ you like that — so fuckin’ needy.” He exhales from between his teeth, signalling his approval while you suck him down to the knuckles.

His fingers tease your clit and you give him your thanks by pleasuring those of his other hand.

When his hands move, it’s to hold you steady and balanced as he drags your underwear down your legs. That thick, heavy cloud of arousal hides any and all rational thoughts from view.

And he knows. He knows you’re past the point of no return, restraining you only out of his desire to rather than out of a real need to. He knows from the whine you breathe at the loss of his hand against your clit, moving to work at his belt buckle instead.

“Gonna use a condom?” You breathe, emboldened by your clearing senses at the temporary lack of stimulation.

At first, you think he’s missed your taunt.

He backs up, pulling your hips along with him until the tips of your fingers are no longer touching the decaying wall before you. Joel pulls you upright and against him with an arm around your waist and a hand around your throat, turning your head and tilting it back to meet your eyes.

You grasp onto his forearms, failing to stand, unable to breathe. His hardness digs into your back, and his cruel eyes show you just how much pleasure he takes in your struggle.

“Don’t like to waste ‘em,” he finally answers, rocking his cock against your spine, “But I will if you beg. You gonna beg?”

He manipulates your answer, fingers moving to your red-hot core — he barely grazes the nerves, only dancing over the needy flesh. You can’t tear your eyes from him either, tethered to your body through his gaze.

Joel Miller was a frustrating lover.

“N-no,” is your answer, slightly strangled and softly stuttered.

He smiles. “S’what I thought.” Then, “Show me what you can do, angel,” he coos, lips just inches away from yours, his hold on your body relaxing —

“Use your pretty lil’ hands n’ put my cock where you want it most.”

And you both know exactly where that is.

After a nod, Joel allows you to bend forward slowly — it’s like moving through honey. Your legs burn with effort as you reach between your legs to wrap a hand around his thick, hard length.

Christ, he’s huge.

He groans when you touch him and uses his own hand to help guide his tip between your folds. One hand holds your waist, fingers extended under your ribs to support your weight in a skilled show of experience.

With his tip at your aching entrance, you try to lean back, to slide yourself slowly down his many inches.

But Joel doesn’t allow it.

He pushes into you in one go, clicking his tongue at your strangled gasp —

The man hadn’t even bothered to open you up with his fingers.

“Ah, c’mon,” he condescends, “You can take it.”

Then he’s setting a hard pace, hands moving from your hips to your ribs to your biceps to your hair to your neck — anywhere he wanted to go, he went. One eventually comes to the front of your throat, tilting your eyes back and up towards the ceiling. Every one of his thrusts arches your back further until you’re contorting into a half-moon shape, standing only by the grace of his support.

And it feels so good. Joel fills you up to the brim, takes you to heaven and floods your ears with hymns, punishes you in the kind of way you’d only experienced in dreams.

Words tumble out, but they’re filled with nothingness. “Joel,” “fuck,” and “yesohgodyes,” quickly become staples of your vocabulary.

He laughs whenever you sob, grows harder every time you moan, restrains you when you try to run away.

The hand around your throat tightens, digging unforgivably into the flesh as you start to let go, as your walls begin to clench and flutter appreciatively around his cock.

“M’I making you happy, sweetheart? My cock making you smile?” He asks gruffly, pulling you back into his chest. Joel readjusts you into whatever shape you need to be in at the new angle, hips still slamming into your ass. Struggling to stand on your tiptoes, he steadies you with his arms and his hand on your jaw, forcing you to look up into his rugged face.

“Mmhm,” is all you can offer him, the pitch jumping up halfway through when the head of his cock grazes that perfect spot inside your cunt.

He doesn’t let up.

“Show me, baby—” he commands, out of breath, too, but not nearly as tortured as you, “—Show me your smile.”

You do your best, smiling up at him, degrading yourself even more at the hands of Joel-fucking-Miller. And he eats it up, loves the way your grin turns into a bitten lip and knit eyebrows over closed eyes, slowing his thrusts to rock even deeper inside you.

You moan something unintelligible, and a laugh rustles through your tangled hair.

“Am I makin’ you come?”

You nod, feeling that familiar rush of pressure blooming somewhere within that throbbing bundle of nerves under his spell.

He smirks in pride and victory, the last look you get before your head falls against his shoulder, your muscles going lax as the peak builds, as your half-sobs grow louder.

“S’it, baby, tell ‘em,” he coos, nipping and sucking the skin on the side of your throat. “Gonna tell the whole street how you take it like a good lil’ slut.”

His fingers fall to your clit, enticing you right over the edge. You vision blurs and your legs shake, but Joel talks you through your orgasm, sweet nothings starting with, “S’right — show me — yes, fuck — good girl…”

And then —

He stops.

You whine, stars dancing before your eyes as the mean, mean man inside you refuses to fuck you through your climax.

“Joel,” you plead, grinding back against him in a pathetic show of need, “Come with me.”

He does the opposite, sliding himself out of your sore opening. You turn to face him, restoring your balance with hands against his chest, gazing up at him in desire-stricken reproach.

“Use your mouth,” he says, voice gruff at your ruined sight and from his own hand on his cock, keeping his arousal level, “Not gettin’ any more help from me.”

It’s unclear whether ‘help’ means pills or his cock, but you assume both to be safe.

You try to argue (having spent the last few weeks dreaming of Joel dripping down your legs) but he just won’t budge.

Then, his voice softens.

“You know your dad’d kill me, angel.”

And it’s really the sweetness of his tone that does it.

Sinking to your knees, it’s déjà vu when you open wide for him, steadying your shaking knees with both hands on his half clothed, half naked hips. Gravel and debris dig painfully into your bare knees, but you ignore the sting, smiling instead at the taste of yourself on Joel’s cock, lips sliding adoringly down the thick length of it.

He groans his approval, tangling his fingers in your hair to help guide your movements.

As you take him in again and again and again, pleasing every inch of him, he chokes out a laugh.

“Never seen you so quiet,” he muses (mostly to himself), caressing your cheekbone with his free hand —

“Gagged by an old man’s cock.”

You pull off, pumping him with both hands, asking breathlessly, “Are you all so big?”

He smiles, eyes darkening at the dirty compliment. “Give you a few numbers n’ you can tell me.”

God, he’s beautiful from down here.

You hold his attention and lick a slow stripe down the underside of his cock, half-grinning up at his lust-filled expression.

“I only want yours, Joel Miller.”

An uneasy inhale as you take him back in, his brows furrowing and his cock growing impossibly harder. Your words please him, he returns by groaning orders and praises like: “S’all yours, baby — take it all — take aaall that dick — good fuckin’ girl.”

He’s so close and you know it, moaning in submission at his hand’s pressure against the back of your head. With your nose crunched into his abdomen, you hold your throat open for him to use it however he pleases — reduced to nothing more than the man’s plaything.

There’s a low “ah, fuck,” from above, and then you finally know what Joel Miller tastes like.

It’s better than the Plan B.

You hear nothing beyond his recovering breaths, feel nothing past pride, lust, and exhaustion.

Eventually, he loosens his grip. You pull off of him delicately, drawing a groan from between his gritted teeth when you make sure to suck every last drop of his seed into your mouth.

Sitting back on your ankles, you roll your head up to face him.

He swipes a thumb under your lips, clearing the saliva connecting you to his softening cock.

“Still mad at me?” He asks.

You’d be crazy to say yes.

“Only for pulling out.”

You note the twitch at the corner of his mustache.

Joel helps you back on your feet, using one hand to pull you up by your arm and another to arrange himself back to decency.

You adjust your shirt; Joel fixes your skirt. It’s a strange kind of silence settling inside this pocket at the side of a random, ruined building.

Then, your company clears his throat, that mask of seriousness falling over his expression once again.

“You gonna be smart?”

What ever could he mean?

Stay away from him? Stay away from men? Practice abstinence? Use protection?

Either way, you’re not one to make promises you know you can’t keep.

You cross your arms.

“No.”

He sighs.

Well, looks like things are already back to normal.

His face softens and he shakes his head, already regretting his next words. “Just — just come find me, then. I won’t do… this again, but — but I’ll help.”

You frown.

“What do you mean, ‘this’?”

He stares down into your accusatory eyes with a look you’d received many times from him, one screaming, “get real.”

“Fine,” you mutter, breaking eye-contact, “Thank you.”

With a stoic nod, he walks around you, heading back into the night. You try, in vain, to watch him go in silence — god knows you had some thinking to get to — and find that, instead of getting it out of your system, the entanglement had only left you wanting for more.

And more and more.

“Is this what you meant?” and you hear his footsteps halt, “When you told me you’d do worse than kill me? When I tried to hit you?”

It comes out before you can help it, and you twist around to face his still, broad shoulders.

You can hear the smile teasing his lips as he utters the words.

“Why are you askin’ me that?”

Still facing his back, you break into a smile of your own. “So I’ll know what I have to do to get you to do it again.”

You watch him shake his head, grey-streaked ripples in the low light.

“Try your best not to find out, angel.”

With that, he disappears into the darkness, leaving you in the flickering doorway. Thighs aching, heart racing, you take a deep breath, trying to memorize the feeling of what it felt to have them taken from you by Joel Miller.

A feeling you’d chase.

—

Put your red boots on

Baby, giddy up

Baby wants a dance

Baby gets her way

Dreamy nights

Talk to me with that whiskey breath

Twirl me twice

I'll treat you like a holiday

And don't say you're over me

When we both know that you ain't

Don't say you're over me

Baby, it's already too late

Just do what you do best with me

Dance me all around the room

Spin me like a ballerina, super high

Dance me all around the moon

Light me up like the 4th of July

Once, twice, three times

The guy I ever thought I would meet, so

Don't say you're over me

When we both know that you lie

If you lie down right next to me

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

If you lie down right next to me

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

When you lie down right next to me

Get your jacket on

Be a gentleman

Get into your truck

And pick me up at eight

'Cause we were built for

The long haul freight train

Burnt by fire

Without trial like a stowaway

And don't say you're over me

When they all know that you ain't

If you lay down right next to me

Dance me all around the room

Spin me like ballerina super high

Dance me all around the moon

Like six times 'til I'm sick and I cry

Once, twice, three times

The guy I ever thought I would meet, so

Don't say you're over me

When they all know that you're lying

If you lie down right next to me

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

Lie, you lie

If you lie down right next to me

Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

Lie, you lie

When you lie down right next to me

—

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rubyvhs · 27 days ago

Text

the evolution of the ackles’ pt1 !

⤷ hi everyone! thank you for 1000 subs i really like making these videos and i’m glad y’all like them too. without further ado, here’s our beautiful couple growing over the years together.

✭ clip one : 2008 “ coworkers or dating ? „

“yes, thank you for your question.” jensen smiles at the girl who asked the question before facing the opposite direction for another question, jared doing the same.

“hi, i’m such a big fan, and i’ve been watching supernatural since it came out, and um, so my question is on the really long days on set— because i saw jared say it can go on ‘till two and four in the morning, what do you do to pass the time between scenes?”

jared and jensen both smile at the genuine question before the older one comes up with an idea, “i’ll answer for him, he’s always calling genevieve!” the crowd laughs, but it’s mostly ‘awe’s’ and jared can’t even complain as he shrugs nonchalantly, he’s not gonna deny the truth.

“and i’ll answer for him, annoy our writers to no end.” jared chuckles at mostly the memories he has of jensen running in between takes to talk to you. not that he’ll actually say your name, he knows how much jensen values his privacy and the both of you aren’t public yet.

jensen shrugs with a smirk, knowing it’s true and having nothing else to add. what more does anyone need? he knocks on the writers trailer twice a day at least.

someone from the crowd, quite brave if you ask jensen, shouts your name and the whole room erupts in laughter and screams. he opens his mouth only to close it again with another shrug. “thank you for your question.” he addresses the girl and faces the other way.

✭ clip two : 2010 “ coworkers or dating ? „

“and, um, yeah, basically having that support on set, knowing that our voice matters i think is really important. i mean, i worked on other sets and i’ve heard from my friends sometimes how hard it can be when you— you know, when you’re not heard, and it’s not like that on supernatural. the writers are always happy to talk to me and jared and misha about anything and it’s helped us really trust them that now we don’t even really ask, we just know we’ll love whatever they say.” the interviewer smiles softly at jensen, nodding at every word. but she can’t help it, she knows it might get a little awkward if she asks but hey, the things you do for advertisement.

“and are there any specific writers that you enjoy working with?” jensen laughs, rubbing his hand down his beard before pointing at her with a ‘you got me’ look.

“i— uh, not particularly, they’re all great, jeremy and bob, margie and uh, yn. they’re all good people. and actually, recently, i think the last episode of season eight, right? yeah, she directed it.” the interviewer doesn’t even need to ask who he’s talking about as his eyes light up and he sits up a little straighter. “she’s really good at directing and she kept saying it was her first time but she had a really good eye with the cameras, and um, especially directing with such a big set is hard she had to watch five cameras. but anyway, it was an overall great day actually, and i think you’ll enjoy the episode when it comes out.”

“yeah? well, we can’t wait to see it.” she faces the camera, “and don’t forget to tune in to supernatural every saturday at 8 pm est, this is cordelia with jensen ackles,” she faces the actor again, “thank you jensen.”

he stands up from the chair to shake her hand with a polite ‘thank you’ before walking off.

✭ clip three : 2011 “ coworkers or situationship ? „

“on another episode of jared and jensen not working on set, we have jared,” misha, who’s behind the camera points it at the taller man, currently stuffing his face with gummy bears, “and jensen.” then points it to the older actor and, would you look at that, he’s smiling at his phone. “not working on set.”

jared looks up at him with a friendly glare, “yeah ‘cause we’re having lunch,” he holds up the gummy bears as if that’s all the evidence in the world, and really, what more would you need? “what are you doing not working, huh?”

misha doesn’t answer, and his face isn’t visible from behind the camera, but it’s not hard to tell that he’s giving jared an angry expression. so the camera pans back to jensen texting as misha takes slow deliberate steps, trying to to disturb him so he can capture what he’s doing on his phone but half way through jensen holds his hand up, dismissing misha without even looking away from his phone.

“what do you want?”

“what are you doing?”

“nothing.” and it’s back to texting. misha sighs, walking away with a curse at his two co-stars, but it’s fairly obvious the next words out of jared’s mouth in the background are, ‘is that her?’

✭ clip four : 2011 “ coworkers or idiots in love ? „

the interviewer says your name, loud and clear through the speakers as you walk down the long hall of chairs. you smile, waving at the entire crowd before you reach rob and richard, greeting each of with a hug, then jeremy. you, jeremy and andrew are the main writers, and executive producers, and so you’re the only ones on the table so far, until they bring out jared, who sits next to you, then jensen, misha, and mark.

the questions seem nice enough, they’re pointed mostly to the four actors and you don’t mind one bit, you’re only here because you have to be, this isn’t the part of the industry to strive to be known for.

until someone asks about charlie’s death.

“so my question is for jeremy, andrew and yn, but um, i would like the rest of the cast to also give your reactions to it. so my question is, considering that women have often been used to further the plot of male characters: why was the decision made to kill charlie and dump her in a bathtub—” jared works quickly to move his chair in the opposite direction, looking up at the huge screen as the other three cast members do the same, giving their back to the audience.

but jensen only moves his chair back so he can rest his legs on the table, and he’s looking at you. it takes a second before they go back to their place and you clear your throat before answering, “i had the same question for andrew when he came up with it.” you smile politely up at your coworker and he laugh, as well as everyone else in the room. oh, if only they knew how much of a joke you’re takin’ this.

“yeah, uh, no, in all seriousness—” and he goes on a ten minute bullshit tangent about how this is supernatural and everyone in it dies one way or another.

and then jensen speaks up, “and correct me if i’m wrong, but charlie was supposed to be a one off character anyway, right?” you bite your lips to stop the profanities as you nod for andrew. but you only do it out of obligation, he’s staring right at you. but you won’t defend something you were so clearly against in the writers room.

the question passes wistfully after that and you’re sure it’s thanks to jensen’s input, like somehow the second he talks everyone in the crowd calms down.

the clip cuts from him staring st you as you thank the girl, to the two of you standing next to each other once the panel is over, hugging, then he leans down to whisper something in your ear that makes you laugh and the entire crowd applauds harder.

✭ clip five : 2011 “ causal or confirmed ? „

“it’s the last question!” rob sings, the music flowing in the background. “oh, it’s the last question.” jensen takes the nervous girl’s hand to sit her down on his chair while he sings with rob, jared leaning down to hug and comfort her.

“oh, last question!” he says with a final breath and as rob’s asking the girl what the question is, jensen is panting and asking for a minute. after he’s done, she finally gets to speak, even if her voice is a little shaken up. jared keeps a hand on her shoulder the entire time.

“so, um, what’s your favorite part of the new set because you said you changed it recently? the location.” jared hugs the poor quivering girl with a reassuring nod.

“yeah, yeah we did. great question! basically everything is the same, we didn’t change our trailers or anything— but i think the directors and writers got bigger ones, huh, rob.” he says pointedly at his friend who sucks in a breath with a shrug that makes the crowd erupt with laughter. “but nothing too special, but because it’s a new season we got so many new people on the set so really my favorite part is all the new memories we got to make.”

everyone claps for jared before he hands the mic back to jensen (on the video a small text bubble in the corner reads : he broke his mic a couple of minutes ago in case you’re wondering why they’re using the same one).

“yeah, i like jared’s answer, the memories we made this season were special to me and i, uh, actually,” he clears his throat, “i was just talking to my girlfriend, about this, yn, she uh—”

he doesn’t get far into that sentence before its screams and whistles through the entire venue. he chuckles a little, taking a step back from the chair. he knew he’d get this reaction, he didn’t expect anything less, even if he hasn’t exactly been hiding you.

“yeah, she, she’s great, and we were talking about this season and that its probably the one where we had the most new people on and it was a lot of laughs and fun, we got to see the musical episode, thank god we didn’t actually sing, but yeah, obviously that episode was a fun one to film.” he smiles down at the girl. “so yeah, great question, thank you.” he says goodbye before the screen goes black.

✭ clip six : 2012 “ honeymoon phase „

your scream is the first thing blasting through the video as you jump into the water, fully emerging the phone with you and you wave at it befor finally getting back up. just as you’re about to take your breath, someone lands next to you and you can’t control your laugh.

you swim over to the wooden stairs to sit down before you change the camera to the back one and jensen can be seen getting out of the water, looking around for you.

the camera’s back on your face. “hi everyone, this is our honeymoon where jensen thought he’d get a relaxing week with his new wife but i have been anything but relaxing, and um, send your prayers for him, okay? okay!” you squeal the last part out as you’re back in the water and it’s safe to assume that’s jensen’s doing.

⤷ alright guys that’s all for part one, but it’s still a long way to go in the ackles’ beautiful story, press here for part two !

#credit: sexlapis #they did it for jjk & i immediately thought of jackles #im gonna make a part 2 one day #if you guys like this #supernatural #dean winchester #jensen ackles #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen fucking ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jackles #laila writes!!

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