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I love me a fantasy monster-slaying greatsword, but the historical greatsword has a pretty badass purpose too!

Art refs, tutorials and more!

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Okay, I know it’s more canon-typical for Bruce to have a super-detailed, meticulous manual that outlines all the procedures, rules, and safety protocols that he expects his Birds to follow when they’re out on patrol or on a mission (whether or not the Birdies actually abide by these rules/regulations is a different matter), but I personally think it would be much more hilarious if this manual was actually just like a random ass, sparkly spiral-notebook with a bunch of random advice the Robins have passed down over the years.

No one actually knows where the tradition started, as at least half the pages are torn out or have been exposed to some sort of explosion/alien substance, but the current highlights would include:

Stay strapped or get clapped” — Jason wrote this after he forgot to pack the bat-a-rangs for patrol and Bruce made him do like 100 pushups as punishment.

“Do NOT ask Killer Croc if he’s featured on The Crocidle Hunter or Swamp People.” — by Tim, who almost drowned before Batman pulled him out of the sewer.

“ >:( “ — Cass drew this after she went on a deep-cover solo mission for two months, and will not elaborate any further on what it means or what about the mission was so crappy.

“You’re my dad, boogie-woogie-oogie!” — Scribbled in a margin by Dick when he was high as a kite on some weird drug that Scarecrow manufactured. It’s not really advice but everyone thinks it’s fucking hilarious.

“Ask Ivy for Weed” — is from Tim, but no one knows whether he accidentally wrote that down as a reminder about a case, or if he’s actually suggesting that they hit up Ivy for a good time.

“Cuddles are essential to the Mission!” — No one knows if Dick wrote this when he was Robin and trying to get Bruce to spend some quality time with him, or if Dick wrote this when he was Batman and trying to get Damian to hug him. Either way, the general consensus is that Dick wrote it.

“Eat the Rich” — an addition by Stephanie, and despite the fact that the Birds all are, by extension of Bruce, uber wealthy, there is a general consensus that it remains.

“Please refrain from the use of the monogrammed towels during post-alien-invasion clean ups” — is one of only two notes from Alfred, who dropped like 2 grand at the dry cleaners after the Birds ruined all his fancy towels when wiping alien goop off their uniforms.

“The first person to say ‘yeet’ next time I throw a projectile will be on case work duty for a week” — this is the only thing Bruce has ever written in the notebook, and the only reason it hasn’t gotten torn out yet is because yelling “yeet” also annoys Selina, and no one is allowed to annoy Selina.

And, lastly, while this isn’t necessarily a piece of advice, I think the way page in the notebook an exceedingly detailed drawing of Bruce, with an arrow pointing at him reading “boring old bat.”

(Damian drew it. It’s his only entry. The Birdies cackle every time they look at it.)

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He’s gonna keep it, he’s gonna name it and NO ONE WILL STOP HIM 😾😾😾

That’s a weird looking dog…

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fiber crafts is like oh you think you know how to count? think again. also count again.

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Diagrams are helpful to me

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Interspecies lesbianism

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"neurodivergent" means disabled. it means disabled in some way involving cognition/emotion/sociability/mental abilities. it is a call to solidarity between the person with adhd, the autistic person, the depressed person, the dyslexic person, the schizophrenic person, the ocd haver, the intellectually disabled person, the person with dementia, the epileptic person, the stroke survivor, anyone who has a mental disability. it's a call to each of us to be more than ourselves, to be in solidarity against the ableism that affects all of us.

it isn't a quirky fashion statement. it has always been about disability

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Things I think must have happened in Gotham.

Batman (too tired to remind himself the secret identity stuff): Dick

Villain: Hey–o

Villain too: Hey-o indeed man what the fuck–

Villain: He's just a child.

Villain: How can you call a child a Dick

Villain: This is just horrible taste–

Robin:

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Jason high in pain killers seeing Damian and Tim dressed as Robin side by side: I think I had nightmares about this

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Batman 72h without sleep

Robin moving too fast

Batman who thought it was the memorial because he's without glasses:

Robin:

Batman

Robin: Why is your hand on the emergency button?

Batman, who almost had a heart attack: No reason, why are you awake?

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Jason, Robin year one seeing Nightwing and Barbara flirt knowing damn well Dick has a girlfriend at the titans: He has a problem.

Bruce, knowing who that problem comes from: He's young.

Jason:

Jason: Apple's and trees...

Bruce: Out.

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Harley: You're all whore's and a virgin–

Jason: (Visibly offended).

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Fanart inspired by @batfam-stuff-posts-0 quotes. <3

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...All this work for a hentai joke. I'm terribly sorry.

I also consulted my jury of Patrons about whether or not Dean would say "Calm your tits". I'm not convinced he would, but also not convinced he wouldn't. :D

(Don't repost, but reblogs are very welcome)

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do you ever need to stop everything to redraw a meme immediately?

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Despair is easy, hope is hard. And brother, I like to stay hard

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Today's Seal Is: The Wrinkler

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nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in