#stuff we like. sorry this became another rant LMAO

[prisonpodcast]

saw ur vent post and feel free to not reply to this at all but also like... yeah. Same. There's just discourse every day and its like. draining. they're (dteam) all so busy and rarely post anything outside of snapchat and im literally just here for clingyduo and dream but like you said that side of the fandom is much too vile about dream to like. interact w normally. its exhausting

I miss being acrive in dreblr and lore and lore discussions and people being like. normal

(-tubbocio)

Yeaaa :((

I think lack of content is driving everyone a little crazy, which is why I’m so excited for USMP because an active smp series means at least semi-consistent content so I think that will give us all something to talk about other than discourse

[oscconfessions]

Tbh I really want to do a rewrite of Object Terror. I used to be a fan of it through like 2019-2021. I'm not a fan anymore because I realized just how bad the writing is. I feel like it could have potential if it wasn't so edgy and it actually fleshed out the characters.

Like wdym this new co-host, S'mores, is a demon? Wdym he's collecting souls for mf Satan himself to “prove his worth?” Why is he targeting these random ass contestants of an object show? Why not just go out and collect random stranger's souls off the streets? WHY ARE THERE DEMONS IN YOUR OBJECT SHOW?? And furthermore why is the elimination area hell itself? Why? How? Does this mean when the characters are eliminated via falling spikes they ACTUALLY die? That can't be because one of them, El Nudelo Spider, comes back. Unless S'mores somehow brought him back because they became friends in hell? Why? Does Satan know about that? Does S'mores have to get a pardon? Will he get in trouble if Satan finds out he brought a soul onto earth? There's just so much shit happening for no reason. It's unnecessary.

Don't even get me started on the characters. Literally half of them can be removed because they add NOTHING to the show. Plus they have like zero personality. We don't know a single thing about Skittle besides that she's nice and silly. Dude half your cast is nice and silly. Also this may be nitpicky but why is it such a sausage fest on the show? Out of 25 characters 19 of them are dudes. I'm not saying it has to be 50/50 with the gender but it's really noticeable here how unbalanced it is.

There's no reason for the show to have gore, either. The creator actually responded to this complaint with that the whole show takes place in another world and that the sentient objects aren't objects. Just ugly little creatures. Okay cool concept but 1. You don't have to have so much gore it makes the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise shudder, and 2. What?? If that's the case why does Beer shatter like a beer bottle should? Why does Magazine rip and tear like a paper? Why is it when Coffee Cup quite literally explodes, it's coffee? If they're ugly creatures shouldn't they just be flesh and stuff? Why does it change between objects dying like objects and them dying in the most gruesome ways?

The writing is absolute garbage too. It started off as a comedy but slowly turned into an edgy bloodbath with some comedy in it. Good lord, the comedy. Half of it is just screaming, and the other half is outdated memes. I mean it had the fucking mlg air horn in the first episode. It also had Beer and Trowel in episode 5 making out for literally seven seconds before it cuts to the Carpet and Stapler finding out and being shocked which like. Was that an attempt at comedy? I didn't find it funny at all I was hella uncomfortable when I first watched it (and now that I had to rewatch it again to see how long that was.) First off, why? That was completely unnecessary and the make out happens with no build up. Second what the fuck are Beer and Trowel? They're written as friends but then have a random make out session for no fucking reason. Shit I'm with Carpet and Stapler I was shocked too.

This was supposed to be a confession on how I'd write Object Terror but it turned into me complaining about it. Uh. Anyways What I'd do is remove some of the characters (ie Honey, Fart, Mint), give the rest personality and interests, get rid of the gore and maybe the demon shit. I'm tired this show makes my brain rot whenever I try to understand it. The demon and hell shit is what's bugging me.

I'm sorry for this long ass rant lmao I bet the people who didn't watch Object Terror probably think I'm insane

.

[tiffaluvr]

op said in tags that they hate tiffa so their opinion might be skewed

however, as an insane tiffania lover (my url, anyone?), I can tell you that you are, infact, NOT wrong at all.

I ended up yapping so here's a cut lmao

TL;DR is: op is right - I hate S3 - the plot is good, very good even, but the amount of garbage in S3 ruins everything

Beware that it's kinda late and I'm tired while writing this 😭😭 there might be nonsense

don't get me wrong, I love Zero no Tsukaima, I love it's entirety and I love both the comic scenes and the serious ones, however we got little to no lore progress in S3 and S4. One of the major plot point was probably Tabitha getting kidnapped and the whole Joseph thing, alongside some Romalia stuff, some Elves stuff and Colbert being actually alive and building that ship.

my opinion might ALSO be skewed since Futatsuki no Kishi (S2) is my absolute fave, but I fear that just another season with a lil less fanservice might've been okay to close the whole thing. OR, in alternative, adding some more information that was taken from the Light Novels (source material) instead, to make it more interesting.

I mean, the third season we got, Princesses no Rondo, was quite literally Princesses no Fanservice because we just got insane amounts of girls-swooning-over-saito and Louise's tsundere bullshit that got to annoying points.

Don't even get me started on Tiffania's character: I LOVE her but she got used as nothing but a sexualized tool, hence her design with big breasts and her being "naive" etc. etc. (that's why I love Tiffa - I like to look past those things and get those little bits of actual characterization I can find).

I have this problem where I tend to mix up the order of events, but I'm pretty sure that really, ALL we got in S3 and S4 was what I mentioned earlier. Colbert wasn't dead and he was also building the Ostrant (or whatever the name was); Henrietta became even more bitchier and just tried to get with Saito to the point she used a mirror inside HIS OWN HOUSE; oh yeah Saito got the house which is ugly, too; Tabitha falls in love with Saito and gets kidnapped; Joseph is a psycho with an hot emo chick as a familiar and bullshit going on with the elves; they get kidnapped by the elves; they go in Romalia to talk with the pope; the dragon thing; marriage.

However all of this - that seems like a lot to digest - was 10% actual story and 90% funny sketches and fanservice. Again, I liked some of those, but sometimes they were just TOO annoying. The only thing that keeps me from skipping those scenes, when I rewatch, is the love I have for this anime and the memories I've connected to it. That's all.

But for the rest, S3 was absolute garbage so I think smth like S4 with a bit more info (so maybe a bit longer) would've been the perfect expedient instead of Princesses no Garbage or whatever the name was.

If I were to draw a line for the greatness of the anime I'd say it goes up until S2, then it falls down COMPLETELY and gets slightly up in S4.

SERIOUSLY I FUCKING HATE PRINCESSES NO RONDO OMG

Sorry for the insanely useless rant but I hate to see how the situation went kinda downhill in S3, because the first two seasons could've been the perfect balance of jokes, lore and hell yeah even fanservice because after all, it's an isekai, what do u expect? But after a while the explosion and dog jokes got old and overused, and overall it wasn't as enjoyable as the first two szns.

Tabitha's story, with her mom and Joseph n everything was VERY COOL indeed!!! But it got lost in the wave of tits and bitches put in the way to please the audience, really.

Plus, the politic setting is what really kept ZnT together and made it interesting - if it wasn't for the occasional war and the different countries, it would've been even worse.

But whatever I love it nonetheless LMAO I SWEAR IM DONE

the familiar of zero would have been such a better show if in season 2 saito just straight up died and it ended

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Sorry but what exactly is up with the bad batch arc? I've heard people talk about the issues with echo's white skin but I haven't heard that many bad things about the arc itself? (ik you said you don't want to be negative on your blog so I would absolutely understand if you didn't answer this ask)

Oooooooooooh boy. Well I just had a long, long, LONG rant about it with someone, but I guess I’ve got an excuse to put all of my points onto a post and talk about it publicly now that I got an ask x) I’ll keep it under the cut so I don’t throw my salt in people’s face. I really don’t want to upset people who love that arc - it has redeeming qualities, but overall it pisses me off so much for so many reasons. So here:

The first issue is obviously two members of the Bad Batch (minus Echo) being being just about the furthest thing from maori no matter how much you're willing to stretch it. 

Like... yeah, nah. I wouldn’t even accept Crosshair and Tech (grey haired guy and goggles guy) as Jango’s natural biological sons, nevermind as his clones. 

The problem is that their different appearances are justified by them being described simply as clones with desirable mutations (i.e superpowers). But why the hell did the creators have to change their appearances for that to be a thing? How does that correlate? Sure, the concept of clones with different faces is interesting, except... no, no it’s not, and I’m gonna rant about it in a few secs. But basically it's like they thought giving them different faces would be a good substitute for having different personalities (another thing I’ll come back to). If they really wanted to have buff clones with super eyesight or whatnot they could have just done that, without making them lose what little melanin the lighting of the show had allowed the other Clones to keep. 

But the gigantic problem is... showing that the "regular" clones have VERY distinct identities despite their identical faces has been one of the themes of the show from episode 1. Literally, the first episode of TCW has Yoda taking time out of a mission with galactic stakes to tell the three clones he’s with (who tell him they’re all the same because they have the same faces) that they’re wrong, and that they’re very different in the Force, that their appearance doesn’t matter, that they’re all equally unique and important, and he lists all of their individual skills, strengths and weaknesses. 

And it’s not just me being bothered by that, here’s a post by @cacodaemonia​ saying the same thing. 

Introducing the Bad Batch as "unique" clones who are "different" and "not like their brothers" because they have different faces and skills completely breaks that theme of the show!! Because the entire point of the Clones in TCW is that their faces don't matter, they ARE unique! 

(Plus the Bad Batch’s character designs are so cliche and uninspired it’s just laughable to try and justify bleaching their freaking skin for the sake of visual diversity. 

This took like 10 seconds. I found the first guy by literally googling “soldier movies,” and the other two are Team Fortress characters that look a LOT like Wrecker and Crosshair. One is “Heavy” and one is “Sniper” lmao.

And behold:

The above picture is a Team Fortress reference that I found just by looking up “bad batch clone wars,” so I’m not the only person who sees it.) 

And the batchers don't even have personalities to justify calling them unique! They have no character traits beyond the most cliché american soldier tropes ever. We have a token loner sniper, a token "smart tech guy" who knows everything from xenoanthropology to biology to Separatist computers to sound waves to encryption, a token Badass Brooding Leader and a token “dumb muscle guy.”

I dare anyone to find more about their personalities than this: - Crosshair is the perpetually grumpy sniper who looks down on "regs,” - Wrecker likes to blow up stuff and doesn't like heights, - Hunter is the leader and is friends with Cody, - Tech is smart doesn't trust Echo. 

That’s it, that’s literally it. Four episodes about them and that's all we get. These character tropes are literally the least inventive ever. FFS, Hunter even has a freaking KNIFE! Not a vibroblade, mind you, like in kriffing Star Wars. A knife. Against metal droids. Why. They couldn’t make this more of an american-war-movies cliché fest if they tried. (And sure, he can feel electromagnetic waves so maybe it does make sense for him not to carry a vibroblade and maybe this is nitpicking, but he looks like a ripoff of a Predator character and it pisses me off).

Another thing is that when you introduce characters you have to make them likable - and them despising the normal Clones is a terrible way to do that! And they don't even grow from that because at the end of the 4 episodes arc they just see Rex as not bad "for a reg" and they see Echo as no longer a reg, and both of these things are infuriating! 

The worst thing imo is that Echo then becomes part of them (and irreparably loses his melanin in the process, uuuuuuuuugh) when there is nothing to justify this. 

The dialogue goes like this: 

ECHO: You coming? TECH: Not really our thing. CROSSHAIR: Accolades. WRECKER: Yeah, we're just in it for the thrill. Yo! HUNTER: You sure it's your thing? ECHO: What do you mean? HUNTER: Your path is different. Like ours. If you ever feel like you don't fit in with them, well, find us. (they leave) REX: Those are some of the finest troopers I've ever fought alongside. Echo. You and I go way back. If that's where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong.

Echo doesn't feel like he belongs anymore, okay, but why would he feel like he belongs with the assholes who up to the last five minutes of the mission thought he was probably a traitor, and also verbally expressed that he was not worth saving?? In all of the arc, Echo himself never voices that he feels he’s not ‘like the other Clones’ anymore and that he feels it’s a problem. His relationship with Rex immediately picks up where they left things off - the first thing he does upon being lucid again for the first in over a year is cracking a joke for Rex’s benefit. 

Why would Echo feel like he doesn’t belong in the 501st anymore, when we don't even see him interacting with anyone from his past life except for Rex and Anakin (who are both extremely very supportive of him)?? If there had been one scene of a “regular” Clone (ugh) looking at him with horror and disgust or something, or just Kix and Jesse cracking jokes with Echo awkwardly standing by the side not getting it, I could forgive the show trying to make it feel like he has an identity crisis, but this was so shallow!

The only thing that makes Echo and the Bad Batch’s experiences similar is that they *look* different. It’s so against the themes of the Clones I’m seething just from thinking about it. And what the hell? Echo ALREADY didn’t fit in. That was the WHOLE POINT of Domino Squad. They didn’t fit in because they thought they were better than anyone else because they had trouble getting along with their brothers, so obviously it had to be their brothers’ fault (ahem, Bad Batch?). And you know what happened? Domino Squad OVERCAME that. And Echo and Fives still didn’t “fit in” because their personalities were unique and creative, and they became ARC Troopers because Cody, Rex and the Jedi VALUED THEM FOR PRECISELY THAT. Echo having new and unique skills and a modified appearance is the most bs justification for him feeling like he doesn’t belong!! 

And that brings me to my biggest issue: Rex telling Echo the bad batch are some of the best troopers he's ever met. I'm sorry, based on WHAT? What Rex values above everything is loyalty and brotherhood, and the Bad Batch DOESN'T DISPLAY ANY OF THAT. We never see them even expressing concern for each other! Wrecker treats saving Cody’s life like a trivial issue, because it’s just ‘sO eAsY’ for him, and beyond that we never see them supporting each other or genuinely expressing affection for each other beyond boasting about each other’s skills... 

Sure they can destroy a lot of droids, but they're dismissive of Rex's brothers, and the entire Umbara arc and this arc showed what he thought of that. They keep saying things like "not bad for a reg,” don't show any trust in Rex's skills or experience (even though they can't have been fighting in the war for more than a year and a half when he’s been there from the beginning, and he outranks all of them), they are essentially guerilla fighters which has only minimal value in a galactic war, and they never grow beyond their views of what regs are, and can and can’t do. 

None of that should make them good troopers in Rex's book. Going back to Echo not fitting in, remember who taught the Domino Squad the importance of seeing all of your brothers as important and equally valuable? Shaak Ti, true, but more importantly? 99! The guy the Bad Batch are named after. He did have value and was important and was no less of a trooper than his brothers, even though his mutations made him LESS powerful, not more. (And btw, just from a writing standpoint, the batchers don’t have any weaknesses, which is shit.) Cody and Rex mourned 99 as a true soldier even though it wasn’t his sacrifice that brought them victory (which would have implied that he had value as a soldier and a brother because he saved them, as opposed to him having that value intrinsically), because that’s what a fine trooper is to them. A BROTHER first a foremost, someone altruistic, brave and loyal. The Bad Batch distort the meaning of 99's character with their behavior. They’re not altruistic, their bravery is mitigated by the fact that they’re freaking invincible, so of course they take risks (again, see Wrecker saving Cody without a care because it’s easy to him, as opposed to Rex being ready to run into a burning ship about to explode because his brother is in there, and having to be physically dragged away). The Bad Batch denigrate their brothers for being less skilled, thinking their own abilities make them unique somehow, when 99 could barely fight and was still the one who taught Hevy about being a good soldier. 

And again the batchers don't grow from that. Which is all the more frustrating because the original ending didn’t have Echo joining them, from what I remember of the unfinished episodes, and the arc actually ended with them receiving their medals in front of regular troopers who cheer for them, as opposed to them smugly ostracizing themselves and dismissing the ceremony as trivial and meaningless. (original ending vs s7 ending: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab1eCfzKamw) 

It’s so annoying. Do you know what characters never had an entire arc dedicated to them and still have far more personality and more interesting designs and more symbolic weight?? 

Jesse, for starters. Kix. Dogma. Cut. Slick. Keeli. Ponds. Rys, Jek and Thire. Commander Doom. Commander Fox. Wolffe. Hevy. Hardcase. 

Cody was a more interesting character just in his RotS appearances. 

Waxer and Boil had one episode about them and then only two cameos plus Waxer’s death, and they’re still some of the most memorable, beloved Clones of the whole show. And Boil was grouchy and prejudiced like Crosshair, but he has so much growth that we could make a whole thread about it. 

I'd say the last problem with the Bad Batch is that it has cash grabbing money hungry vibes. Different faces are more marketable, cliché personalities are more toy-friendly, and it's basically a big ad for the Bad Batch series. And they throw Echo in the Batch at the end for bs reasons (again, it wasn’t in the original ep from what I remember) and they tease Cody in the show to make sure fans will still watch even if they notice the lack of soul. And less melanin sells more at Disney apparently. 

So that’s my whole pissed rant. 

[notcolleen]

good morning this post is …not abt my eating disorder 😮

(it’s a coworker rant lol) (it got …..long 👀) (i started early this morning and am now finishing hrs later without changing times so sorry if some things don’t add up time wise) (not that ppl other than myself would know? but tumblr anons have me paranoid that everyone thinks im lying abt every little thing lmao)

[[MORE]]

anyway this has been a pretty solo trip for me, but im technically here with another woman from nj as well, whom i actually met last year working this same camp so we knew each other and have now spent over 3 weeks together total, not super long in the grand scheme of life but long enough to say we know each other

and i don’t dislike her at all, but this week it became a lot more clear that we are really different ppl, both professionally and just in life lol

and i kinda like that despite working at the same job/staying in the same hotel, we both quietly acknowledged that it could end there and we didn’t have to do things off the clock together. i didn’t see her at all outside of our work hours lol and that was fine.

but during work, she sat on her phone at a table away from the kids, and when she did need to “engage” with them, it was yelling. i heard her say “what is wrong with you??” or “why are you crying?” to 6 year olds too many times this week (1 time is too many times, 4 is ??? like why are you working in childcare) — and that is just what i heard, she ‘opened’ and i ‘closed’ so there were two hours each day where we were on our own and i dread thinking of how she spoke to them then 👀

on that note, she was supposed to clock in at 7am — get things set up, plan out the day a little, whatever. but every morning we would have an awkward moment where i would see her sitting in the hotel lobby eating breakfast as the time crept past 7 and she would still have to factor in the uber there and all i could think was what if i kid came early or if her uber didn’t get her there by 7:30 (when kids could arrive)??

but i would try to just drink my coffee and pretend i wasn’t aware of the time lol and i know she was annoyed that she had to wake up to open (bc she certainly lmk that) but i had to stay until the last kid got picked up (and parents were not always the most punctual coming from work ☠️) and then clean up so i was there until after my scheduled time each day, there were no early days that she kept telling me to ✨enjoy (also we are getting paid?? that’s why we’re here??)

but we are in the same role here — i am not her supervisor, i didnt feel comfortable correcting or redirecting her, i can’t give her training on how to speak to kids

….still, in the end, i did feel like i put a lot more work bc kids are smart and intuitive and are gonna go to whom they feel comfortable with — so even if i was trying to put stuff away or talk to a parent or whatever….even with her right there in front of them….they would ask/find me.

(i will say, it says something that by the end of the week they finally had learned my name and still didn’t even seem to know she was working there with me lol, or she was “the other teacher” ……like i don’t think im good at much, but i do know im good at interacting with / treating kids with the respect they deserve)

anyway i had started this post mostly to say that it’s also very telling that she clocked out of our last shift saying “ill see you when i see you” even though we took the same flight here, i booked our uber from the airport to the hotel together, and we have the same flight back — but just based on our endings vibes, i didn’t reach out to see if she wanted to share an uber there this morning**

i think she’s also upset with me bc we were both offered the opportunity to travel again with the company after this — and both told that it would be “either oklahoma or texas” — and both definitely preferred texas over oklahoma — and i made the mistake of telling her i emailed one of the higher ups voicing my discomfort with OK (mostly just thinking out loud before i sent the email) and even though i received this (wonderfully validating 👀) reply back:

it ended up that i was chosen to go to TX and she will be going to OK and i feel like she assumes the email played a role / that i used my discomfort as leverage. idk, i should have just waited it out but i was anxious abt it and when im anxious i tend to ramble/voice my inner dialogue and that’s what happened — it also lead to me basically coming out to her (if she hadn’t already figured that one out ☠️) and even before the decisions were made re: locations but after that, i felt a shift in our dynamic and overall it was just a mess after that day lol

**and now when i arrived at the airport, it turns out our original flight was delayed so much that we had to reschedule to guarantee making the connection……but she hadn’t checked in yet so idk what’s happening with hers……all i know is that our boss booked our flights so it’s all linked together and it wouldn’t show my boarding pass, only hers, so it kept trying to check her in when i just wanted it to register my boarding pass for pdx—>ord—->ewr instead of pdx—>den—>ewr and i was so anxious i was gonna miss my flight and so proud of myself for not crying when a very nice woman helped me out ……but then! 😔 i did cry bc when i mobile ordered a pumpkin load from starbucks…..waited 20 minutes for it…..told myself i could keep waiting bc i have done my time as a barista and know how annoying customers are……waited another 10 but then saw my ticket behind the screen so knew it had gotten lost in the shuffle and i would actually literally miss my flight if i didn’t ask the barista…..only to be told they were out, but would i be okay with a lemon loaf instead?…….no 🥴 not really 🥴 but am i anxious bc food still want to scratch my skin off when it’s not exactly what i want it to be? 🥴 yes 🥴

so i have to say that’s fine ! thank you so much ! have a good day ! 😌

anyway that’s when i took my lemon loaf and cried on the way to my plane

and here i sit

winning the secret competition for longest tumblr posts abt the most mundane things ever 😌 cya

[haleigh-sloth]

what do you think about the development of bakugou and deku’s relationship so far? or just about bakugou’s character development in general?

i’ve seen pretty mixed reactions to bakugou’s character development. there are some that are happy with it, there are some that are extremely critical, and i’ve even seen some people compare him to endeavor.

when i first started mha, i didn’t like bakugou at all, but he’s changed a lot since the first chapter. i personally like his development, but i still think that there’s quite a bit way to go. bakugou has atoned through his actions, but he has yet to verbally apologize.

(sorry if you’re not interested in this topic, i just like hearing people’s opinions on it.)

Any of the main characters I'm cool with talking about. It's the side ones I truly don't care to talk about lol.

So Bakugo---whenever I FIRST started BNHA (before Shigaraki's intro) I was super invested in seeing a friendship develop between him and Midoriya because I'm a sucker for enemies to friends. Idk why I just am. Not too long after starting it though it quickly became obvious that they'd become friends so I wasn't as invested. It was too obvious, and then at that point I had completely shifted my focus to the League. So I just kinda took whatever happened with Bakugo and was cool with it. But as far as forming an opinion on his character and everything that's happened so far, and addressing some of the stuff you said about Endeavor, yeah I have some thoughts.

I actually ranted a bit about what I think of Bakugo's arc here, and I'll just go ahead and throw in what I said since I was about to repeat myself. Also forgive my harsh words toward Bakguo he's on my list of favorites despite how many times I call him a piece of shit lmao:

To be honest Bakugo's arc is one of the best, in my opinion. It kinda hit that break through point in the war arc where he made a sacrifice for Midoriya, and now we need to see how it carries out from here.

But the thing about Bakugo is that he's supposed to be a POS. Like seriously he sucks. At first. Nobody in real life would ever put up with a person like that lol. But this is a manga where behaviors are majorly exaggerated for comedy (his explosive anger) and for dramatic effect (his anger toward Midoriya for literally no reason other than personal insecurities), and the people in BNHA-verse are willing to put up with said behavior. Anyway--the reason I think his arc was handled really well is because:

He's a POS person who was actually punished in-story over and over and over again. Rightfully so. He's an asshole who bullies Midoriya for being quirkless. And then he gets captured by a villain, which leads to a lot of city damage and him feeling humiliated because he had to be saved by--you name it--Midoriya. Then once again his pride causes him to lose the first match at UA. Then he wins the sports festival in a way he never ever wanted.* Then because of his asinine behavior at the sports festival the villains genuinely think he's better off with them because it seems like he's being held back by society (he was in chains after all--big yike) and he gets kidnapped. Him getting kidnapped leads to All Might retiring while trying to save him. Then he fails the licensing exam and falls behind his other classmates. He finally starts to show some progress and stops getting punished by the story right around the second Deku vs. Kacchaan fight. That's when he starts actually improving. Somewhat.

*So about the Bakugo being compared to Endeavor--I've seen two attitudes toward it. Some people think it's a horrible comparison and gross and just whatever. And other people, like myself, see that comparison as quite fair, and deliberate on the author's part.

It doesn't take much reading comprehension to see that Bakugo is desperately in need of a change, because he's at risk of becoming--well--bad.

But the thing is, he was never EVER at risk of becoming a villain. That was never going to be an issue. He was at risk of becoming a much worse person and embodying more and more of Endeavor's negative qualities. Bakugo wants to be number 1. He wants to be number 1 for the wrong reasons. This is not up for debate. Citing what I said above--he was willing to go to extraordinary lengths to win matches at school not for the sake of being a better hero, but for the sake of making him feel better about himself. It's an insecurity thing, and he needed to work on it. And he has. But before he progressed at all--he had to face narrative punishment over and over again.

Bakugo and Endeavor are similar on purpose and they're compared in-story for a reason. People can separate Endeavor from the rest of the narrative all they want but he's a character just like everyone else, and there are intentional parallels and foils in place for him. Similarities between the two:

They both want to be number 1--for the wrong reasons.

They want to go about it the wrong way. Endeavor using his children to live vicariously through, Bakugo trying to get rid of Midoriya by bullying him into not applying to UA because he feels threatened by him. Bakugo continuing to go after Midoriya for his own personal reasons, when it doesn't benefit his development as a hero.

They physically and emotionally hurt others for their ambitions. And look, I'm not putting bullying on the level of abuse by any means. But they both hurt others for their own selfish reasons. They do, and that's a similarity between the two.

They want to feel better about themselves and so they don't want their egos hurt. As it was pointed out to me today by the genius @redphlox, while we were floating in a river in Somewhere, Texas--they were both granted top positions in a way that hurt their egos. Bakugo at the sports festival, Endeavor with the hero billboard charts.

Where there are similarities, there are also differences. Bakugo learned from his punishments. He gradually changed and made progress and improved as a person. Kind of. He's still an asshole but as stated above he had a huge turning point in the war arc when he went all sacrificial on us*. I'm hoping that we'll see him start viewing the villains differently now that he's back in the picture and it's bound to be a topic of discussion with Midoriya. I don't know what Bakugo's end game is but I think we're gonna see him grow more empathic as time goes on.

*Another prediction planted in my head by @/redphlox is that Bakugo getting skewered to save Midoriya might mirror the same way Endeavor sacrifices himself to save his son. Again, I don't think he'll die but I think we'll get a "GASP WILL HE DIE??" moment.

Sooooo yeah I'm pretty cool with Bakugo's character arc so far. It all depends on how it plays out from here. I think we'll see a lot of him and Midoriya working together. I think he'll help save Shigaraki's body, while Midoriya saves his heart and soul. I think it'll be a team effort between the two to get the job done. And I think he'll be a great member of the main group in the final battle. I'm excited to see how he's used in the story from here on out.

[farty-city]

inside bo burnham review no one asked for

i enjoy other peoples commentary and i was writing down my first thoughts anyway so here it is

inside

first song/intro song

i like the phone screen on him, very reflective of how we have had phone screens on us

“roberts been a little depressed” osnskjdnfs

they were right “daddys made you some content so open wide” hjbfafn

intro

oh my god he looks awful

but like in a cute way

maybe

healing the world with comedy (second song)

the canned and queued laugher no exactly… is it a symbol or is it just funny.. who's to say. 

it think its a good first song, establishing he knows what he is doing is kind of useless 

“the indescribable power of your comedy”

he looks like marc maron rn

i like the synthed voice and synthesizer

the jesus allusion … yeah

“i'm a special kind of white guy”

this feels like he knows how he is perceived by fans.. Make happy was too much

his fucking dancing fksjdnfksj

i think he did a good job looking manic

the lasers lmao

Side 1

Bo made a huge gamble releasing this like,,, what if you just stumbled upon it and this was ur first introduction to him..

I bet its like when i comment dumb things on instagram comments and get that rush of hehehehe

NO NOT BO DEVELOPING BILLIE EILLISH VOWELS

Also this is exactly what he wanted like,, he just wanted to make his things and not deal with the crowds so..

To think i was like finding scraps of him performing at largo and stuff and now,, so much content

life imitates art

the way he's literally what he wrote hgbkdf

there is no authenticity with cameras

suicide ?

 facetime with my mom tonight

the blue light.. Yeah

o hblue like sad

i don't know how i feel about the electric music but i guess its no different than whatever else i listen to

this is sad wow

still catchy etc

side 2

i wonder if here will be any fart jokes

that is how the world works (songs)

the huge mess and then him in a sweater

this is reminiscent of that walmart muppets

he became tim minchin with a sock puppet

the “yes… yes sir” stoppp 

jkgdsnfijwkensfosnf

qbejfnjne

nerjgnoejns

bo making a political statement and a metaphor for activism and then making it weirdly kinky

brand consultant (bit)

man bun

i have to believe he filmed it with the beard because quarantine vibes and also bc he was tired of being seen as a child

white womans instagram (song)

i did not like that intro

BO AND GLASSES THANK GOD

the daisies wow just wow

underwear

“white womans instagram” or “bo burnham becomes a girlboss”

i like that he didn't lose his cadence like the way the rhymes are you can still tell its him

i don't get the mom part sorry

is it like how people are very superficial but also very personal on their instagrams

this part was legit sad

side 3

i wonder how he felt with cameras constantly on him

Although this is the point hes trying to make

lol seinfeld moment (bit)

unpaid intern (bit and song)

“barely people somehow legal” was so smooth woW

omg he was scatting

he was a man who would scat

oh my god what great news

the react clip omg

i cant believe he did that oh my god

observation/critisism and response to the “can anyone shut the fuck up” 

and as i realized what he was doing he was like “i have this need for everything i make to have a deeper meaning” oh my god

now the question is how long will this go on?

jeffrey bezos (song)

idk its catchy

and then theres him like sleeping and talking which kind of is part of the jeff bezos song

bug eyes salamanders hehe

sexting (song)

i do believe this is just a silly song 

the earrings tho omg

sounds like post malone hbkjdsnfskj

idk its still about like intimacy in quarantine and that stuff..

the knife (bit)

i know hes copying like other youtubers but like,,, what

stuck in a room (song)

the intro is very funny and relatable

classic bo i love it 

i will say this special has been more reflective but i suppose it has to be

“look whos inside again”

i like the end too, this is all a fabrication

this is the clip where hes staring at the projection of himself from his old youtube videos which is sort of more like an ending to the “stuck in my room” song

 sorry (song)

i love the 80’s style music and its like zumba

oh this is like an apology song

“father please forgive me for i did not realise what i did, or that id live to regret it” what a catchy line

i would say this is another more “classic” bo song where its self aware and funny

“my closet it chalk full of stuff that is vaguely shitty” 

camera falling

this deserves its own bullet because its silly

i'm turning 30 (bit and song)

i remember him talking about this on a podcast and like,, damn i didn't know this also happened LOL

i really like how he did the lighting 

“stupid fucking ugly boring children”

suicide talk (1)

this is interesting i like the use of the projection

this is something that could never have happened onstage

just like with the it being projected on him

i guess it could but it would have to be done differently and probably hed have to make it funnier to make it more engaging

intermission

i just checked this is about the halfway point.. Mh

i don't wanna know (song)

“i thought it’d be over by now”

i wish this was longer but i kind of like how its just a little snippet and then the cut

video game (bit)

“i guess i’ll cry again”

“is the dude big or is the room small” lol

hm depression

 feelin like shit (song)

ohh the lighting is fun again

this is the tone shift i suppose

the feels like supalonely and the new kind of music

atl

:(

panic attack 

everything all of the time (song)

feels like brandon rogers 

i enjoy this

this feels like “welcome to youtube” grew up

“a little bit of everything all of the time”

“apathys a tragedy and boredoms a crime”

ok olivia rodrigo

finishing the special (bit)

these feel like diary entries but as standup

interesting choice

jeffery bezos (2)

Why the seaweed suit

Where did he get that

the digital space (bit)

suit up, gather what is needed, and return to the surface

damn

pirate map anfdkjfnskjd

this was so stupid (affectonate)

that funny feeling (song)

the campfire vibes 

kenny loggins

i don't get it..

is it about childhood, is it about the present?

i think its talking about the end of content? 

“the end of culture”, to quote make happy

change and not liking it 

“we were overdue, but it will be over soon”

if the second half of the special is like a panic attack this song is like a momentary pause before it gets worse

“so ive been working on this special”/breakdown 

this was .. uncomfortable and genuine which i'm sure is why he kept it

all eyes on me (song/rant)

another sad thing to watch.. damn

me trying to tell if the audio was from make happy

i think he was trying to make it as if the audio was from make happy 

this feels.. familiar

and obviously that is the point

“come on in the waters fine”

the use of autotune during the talking part... yeah

sad that he was gonna make another special… and it would have been totally different than this

i’ve decided i like the homage to make happy

It feels like hes made peace with it

the montage of him waking up and the “i think i'm done”

and then of course the ending where he's watching it over to remind us that its all fabricated

possible ending song/ “i promise to never go outside again”

ngl he looks good in the shirt with the haircut hehe

which i feel like is what he wants up to notice

and then like not think after we saw all his breakdowns

“i want to hear you tell a joke when no ones laughing in the background”

i really like the medley

Final thoughts

I want a blooper reel, but this doesn't seem like the kind of special

I also wonder if the songs will be on like apple music, but again, doesn't seem like the kind of special

I'm happy for him, he got to be honest and open and show us the sort of panicky stuff

this self aware comedy is exactly the stuff that i think will be making a comeback in the next decade.  John better be pulling up with more deconstructed comedy. 

I hope this has given him peace

[teawiththegods]

aaaaAAA i’m having conflicting feelings and my brain is dramatic :’))

this is a mix of a vent/rant/aaAAA and i was wondering if you had any advice

so recently i made some new ocs (which are just characters i create, usually with some semblance of a story)

i make them often and have a lot of fun ^^ one of my favorite parts is showing them to my friends and such but recently (as in yesterday/today) it feels like they’re kinda ignoring me?

now of course i understand being busy or other stuff like that but aaaaa,. when i sent it, someone was active and never said anything

i kinda shrugged it off as “eh, they’re probably just doing something blah blah blah” but then, when i replied to something elsewhere, another member became active and started talking

once that person started talking, so did the other and they proceeded to just,, talk-

it’s been nearly a full day and though i’ve gotten a response from one friend (who’s vv sweet and tries to reply to everyone) the other two that have been active and still are (they’re talking as i type) and aaaaaAAA

this has happened before and i’ve brought it up and talked and blah blah blah, they’ve gotten better at replying and such but sitting here watching them talk to enthusiastically and just,, rlly into it??? makes me feel bad bc dang,, i sent something i’m proud of and :((

idk it’s weird and is kinda jumbled and might not even make sense lmao but i guess i was wondering if you have any advice??

sorry for the long message (and overall rant, feel free to delete this if you’re not comfortable ofc)

tldr; i sent something in a group chat with friends that i was excited over, and though people are active and have been active, only one person has said anything and i feel like they just don’t care

Seriously tho, I get this! For me what has helped is having open communication and discussions about issues like these. People who are good friends will hold space for you and listen to what you have to say. And you should be able to express your feelings to them especially when it has to do with them. Honestly keeping it inside only serves to wound you in the long run. Trust me, I'm Cancerian and no one suppresses emotions better than us crabs! Thats why we have so many tummy issues D: So yeah my advice is to talk to them about it.

[agustdiv1ne]

thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡

[haikyooot]

Waiiit, that aside I have a question. emii what did you like abt kourai? Sorry if u have explained it somewhere. Im just asking myself the same question and im curious abt you... no pressure to answer tho ✌

*manga spoilers*

cw: brief mention of depression, self-harm

I think it's so fascinating how Kourai might, at first, totally be a comical character that is there for laughs but suddenly grow onto you in a really really heartfelt way. But in short, he motivates me to be the best version of me I can be.

Keep reading at your discretion, it's half not-a-sob, personal rant, with mixed love letters to the seagull.

He's not just "another foil to Hinata" their journeys are really different. Their personalities and the way they deal with challenges are different too. It's funny, I'm usually never into a character who's "younger brother" because I'm the eldest daughter LMAO. But I do have an older cousin I was constantly compared to, and he would indirectly belittle me growing up. Maybe I felt Hoshiumi in that way.

I have very tiny hands and the first hobby I picked up as a kid was piano. My hands stopped growing since like second or third grade, and soon a lot of piano pieces I wanted to play were just difficult. Ironically, the pieces I loved playing the most "required" very large hands. Maybe it was a pride thing. I just wanted to play them.

I remember wishing every birthday that I would be taller, grow a bit more. That never happened either, and height has always been a source of insecurity and pain.

And other people would look at me, my hands, and tiny feet and sometimes really see me as someone to be taken care of. Some mean well, others actually maliciously, but regardless my own stubbornness ah. My pride and stubbornness. So, to prove myself to myself and to others, I carried over a quarter my body weight on my back and solo-traveled. I climbed mountains alone because I can. And I can do all sorts of stuff around the house fixing things, making things, I can do it, don't look down on me. It makes me proud of myself too. Ultimately, it became about me and myself. I think Hoshiumi and volleyball is also ultimately about him and himself.

I suppose what I mean to say with those anecdotes is that Hoshiumi's growth and success reminded me of my own growth journey. There's a few other hq characters too, but let's focus on the birb.

Relatability aside....

He's SUCH a good friend. So observant and caring. He recognized and stopped Sachirou from hurting himself, valuing the well-being of his friend first. He's just full of love and care, I know it. Because I bet when he's feeling down, he punished himself enough. Just how much bravery and will does it take to continue, to keep going, and fighting the way he does? I just want to hug him and be hugged by him.

The whole, "no one will die" speech? Much needed reality check really. I would be so so caught up with every test, every grade I got until I absolutely burned out. It was such a horrible and painful part of my uni life. But Hoshiumi's line reminded me really, also what my professor and therapist had told me too....you know in the long run, it's all gonna really be okay. And as long as I continue moving forward, other opportunities open up too. The way I'm fixated on and so obsessed with isn't the only way. And if it's causing me pain, maybe it's not the best way at all, because I should put my wellbeing first.

But Hoshiumi also isn't just "ah just quit it all". He's so well balanced between finding the balance of self-care and hard work...[not a birb, but I think i love Kita because of this too]

Hoshiumi's hard work. Have you seen in the lingering background, how Hoshiumi was described as being on the bench? He's also seen doing ballboy tasks too. So, the Hoshiumi we see on the court is relatively new. In those circumstances, he still got picked to be U-19 is so so incredible and proof of his hard work and talent.

I know he has these comical and even petty af competition with Hinata, but laughs aside, Hoshiumi didn't see Hinata as someone coming after his title as short king. When he told Hinata, "I'll be waiting for you". It was telling Hinata that he'll be waiting for him to return. Hoshiumi believes in Hinata to become pro, to be a part of a whole new beginning of 'shorter' players in volleyball. Either way, between the two of them, it's a win. And I really respect and admire him for that. (Actually) Humble birdie.

You see how friendly and happy he is with some of the kids in timeskip and you just know that after maturing a bit too, how easy-going he is actually. Esp after mellowing out just a tad. He loves what he does, does his best, he's thankful for where he's at. I imagine him as someone who gives the best advice and encouragements, but also won't shy away from giving a reality-check when needed, only as a push forward.

And finally I'm a visual person. Look how cute baby hoshiumi is. Look how eccentric teen Hoshiumi is. Look how how dilfy timeskip Hoshiumi is. He probably slightly cringes at his teen, badminton shuttlecock hair that he thought looked super cool hahaha. He has my heart.

But anyways, in short, he motivates me to be the best version of me I can be.

[xxoperatexx]

the ending of Carmen sandiego made me :(( so here’s me just brain dumping stuff about the new season

I didn’t know this was gonna be the last season :(( I was sure that they were gonna need another season to resolve all the shit that went down

I feel like the ending was a little rushed, in the sense that the VILE faculty was captured in like 5 minutes with minimal fighting. They’re basically the best of the best and they were taken down within a short montage by ACME agents. That also kinda doesn’t make sense to me because so many more talented and experienced fighters have been defeated by them,,, and why wouldn’t they have better security measures at the top secret, ‘extra secure’, new location?

As a crackle simp from season one, yes😌 look at my boyfriend go

As a Jules simp from season one, yes 🥰 look at my wife

Tbh I wanted Carmen to end up with either one of them but that could just be me ✨projecting✨

I’m also an agent devineaux and shadowsan simp but we’re gonna shut up about that.

Yeah so basically I liked dark Carmen a lot. Like she was funny as fuck I’m sorry. her stealing a rare, valuable, antique violin on a whim because she happened to be in the area was 💀💀💀

And dark Carmen with tigress - maybe I’m just petty but that was fun too

Countess Cleo in Egypt? Ugh I love her sm, sorry. The fit? The attitude? She’s iconic, my favourite faculty member

El topo and le chevre in the ending? The queer coding was :| and I wish they would make out but 😩🤌 yes look ay them

Also that whole subplot where player was at school... like okay? we learned his name that’s basically all I got from that

ANNYYWAAYYSSS my least favourite part now

The ending

I really love the whole found family aspect of the show and to me it doesn’t make sense that Carmen would basically abandon zack and ivy?? Shadowsan I understand, since he is a grown ass man lmao but Carmen is so close with them it doesn’t make sense to me. She spent YEARS working with them, Carmen could find her mother and still be with them.

Im assuming that Carmen didn’t stay with her mother and just reconnected, but then what reason would she have to abandon her actual family for a woman she can’t remember and is meeting for the first time. You get me?

Zack and ivy were so nervous and anxious without her and ndndndnx like I can’t even compute Carmen leaving them with nothing but a note 🧍🏻‍♀️it’s so out of character for her to do it to THEM

She could still use them in capers, it’s not like they became useless when vile was defeated.

They’re literally her getaway drivers and backup. They do the tech stuff for her too.

Like acclimating to working by herself after that would be inconvenient too lol

Listen ACME zack and ivy are cute but?? Please let me have my found family back I beg

Also put ivy in pants, cowards

Shadowsan and his brother 🥺🥺

Anyways I feel like the show could’ve ended with them saying they still have a lot of work to do, yk defeating and capturing all of the operatives that are still at large and stuff. Like yk that kind of ending where it’s implied that the adventures continue and it’s sweet and our family is together 🥺

But that’s just my 2 cents so yeah don’t come for me if you liked the ending please

Feel free to rant or anything in the notes lol I wanna hear opinions

[morgansdeb]

☕️ alex leaving jo for izzie

*sighs* Okay, so I have several thoughts about this, but I don’t know if I’m going to do a good job at articulating them properly. This is going to be long.

So, this is probably my most unpopular opinion of all time... I don’t like Alex Karev. I never have. I think he’s annoying, a bully, and quite frankly, he did a lot of terrible things that the fandom doesn’t really address. I mean, when I finished Grey’s and I went online to see if others disliked Alex, I was disappointed that I found very few people that agreed with me. This fandom LOVES this guy, and I’m just here in my little corner like “nope, he sucks.”

I think the thing that bugs me the most is the hypocrisy in the fandom when it comes to Izzie vs Alex.

When Izzie left the show, because Katherine Heigl left the show, she became the evil bitch who abandoned Alex, that horrible ungrateful woman who didn’t stay by her husband’s side despite all he did for her. We know the reason Izzie’s exit from the show was so poorly handled was because of Shonda’s issue with Katherine not submitting herself for an Emmy for season 4 (which tbh, I can’t blame her? She was right when she said the material she received that season wasn’t Emmy-worthy, especially in comparison to Izzie’s storylines in the previous two seasons, which were actually heart-wrenching and better developed), so I genuinely don’t get where people’s beef with Izzie comes from. She was written that way because of issues behind the scenes.

And if I’m honest here... people forget that when Izzie left the first time, she was under a lot of emotional distress. She was BATTLING CANCER, JUST LOST HER FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, AND GOT FIRED FROM THE HOSPITAL!!!! Sorry for yelling, but this fandom doesn’t have any consideration for Izzie’s feelings. Webber fired her in a stone-cold way and heavily implied Alex helped him with that decision. So of course Izzie left. She was traumatized!! And then SHE CAME BACK. She came back and wanted to make things right with Alex, but he told her TO LEAVE. He was the one who did that. So what was Izzie supposed to do? Stay in a hospital where she has to work with a man who told her “I love you so much I almost hate you” (wtf was that line)? Yeah, I can’t blame her for leaving.

People always wanna talk about how Izzie is selfish when she donated 8 million dollars to open a free clinic, was the only resident who bothered to teach the interns (while Alex complained about working on the clinic and said the interns were stupid, lmao, what a guy), donated money to pay for a girl’s back surgery, decorated the house for Christmas and made socks for Meredith and George (and Doc!!), tried to be nice to the doctors from Mercy-West (and ended up getting called a bitch for it :///) and was overall a happy, sweet person who cared about her patients and her friends. Izzie was amazing, why are you all so mean to her?? Because she left Alex’s annoying ass?? If that man was my husband, I’d leave him too, lmao

ANYWAY... so yeah, Alex ain’t shit to me. The first thing he did when he met Izzie was tell her she wouldn’t last as a surgeon, then sexually harassed by hanging pictures of Izzie’s modeling days all over the locker room, cheated on her with Olivia, made fun of her relationship with Denny, called her a stupid bitch and stole one of her surgeries, made her cancer all about himself, didn’t comfort her after George died (seriously, this was so fucked up and nobody ever talks about it. Alex was so jealous of Izzie’s love for George and he showed it all the time)... that man was not “the perfect husband”. He’s lucky Izzie gave him the time of day after the stunt he pulled in the locker room. She was the only one of the interns who gave him a chance, when Meredith, Cristina, and George wanted nothing to do with him (and who could blame them).

He also bullied the hell out of George and April, especially April. People defend this by saying “oh, but everyone bullied April!!” (that isn’t a solid defense, btw), and while the other characters were annoying for that (I love Cristina, but her treatment of April was so awful, same with Meredith, Lexie, and even Jackson was a dick to her at times), Alex always took things to an extreme level. When they’re in the on-call room and are about to have sex, Alex starts yelling at her and saying all that gross stuff about not wanting to hold her virgin hand, and then we see April choking on her own tears at Cristina’s house and Alex never apologized to her for that, he just continued to bully her. He ALMOST KILLED Andrew, and I know that he beat him up because he thought he was assaulting Jo, but he didn’t even try to make things right with him?? He could have killed him or ruin his entire career, but the show had Alex be portrayed as the victim and the other characters didn’t seem to be bothered by what he did?? How did Bailey appoint him as temporary chief when he had a record??

Okay, so this turned into an anti-Alex rant more than anything else, but all this needed to be said. I know he became a better doctor and everything, but he never clicked as a character for me. His friendship with Meredith seemed forced (Cristina was gone, so Meredith needed to hold on to someone, right??), and it was very shitty how it took Meredith TWO YEARS to respect Jo as Alex’s girlfriend and Alex just let Meredith treat her like crap?? Never change, Karev. I don’t care about his friendship with Arizona, either.

So... this guy left Jo. He cheated on her, lied to her, and then left her in a letter. And the fandom is like “okay, but Alex didn’t do it!!! The writers ruined him!!!”, oh, wow, so when Izzie leaves Alex she’s a bitch, but when Alex leaves Jo, it was the writers??? Alex should be the most hated character on the show because what he did was horrible, but the fandom gives him a pass. Y’all hate Izzie, but this guy is okay in your eyes???

Another unpopular opinion, but I don’t like Jo either. She’s boring to me; I don’t care about her storylines (I find them quite repetitive), and I never cared about her relationship with Alex (they had zero chemistry to me). So no, I don’t care that they’re over. I do wish Alex had taken her with him, lmao.

I hate that they made Alex and Izzie end up together because now EVERYONE is blaming Izzie for Alex’s exit. “She hid the children from him!!!” Alex SIGNED his rights away and told Izzie she could do whatever she wanted with his sperm. It’s not Izzie’s fault Alex decided he now wanted to be a dad to those kids. Why does Izzie get all the blame for all of this? Alex is a grown man who made a choice. We also never saw them reunite on screen, so we have no idea what they spoke about. Maybe Alex didn’t even tell her he was married. I mean, he had no problem lying to his wife about where he was, so who’s to say he didn’t lie to Izzie, too?

I know, I KNOW that Alex leaving Jo like that is bad writing. But the only reason I care is because I hate that this storyline made my favorite character the target of fandom hypocrisy and hate. But to be honest, Alex got a better ending than most. George, Lexie, Mark, and Derek died horrible and painful deaths. Callie and April also had shitty exists. The ONLY one who had an exit worthy of her character was Cristina (not counting Addison because she went to have her own spin off).

I don’t know if I have anything else to add, tbh. If you hate Izzie but love Alex, you’re a hypocrite.

Oh, and George and Izzie forever <333

[podcastlimbo]

My honest honest opinion on second citadel season 3

Uhhhh... short answer? I didn’t like it much.

Okay wait before I go on to my long answer I need to say that this is all just my opinion and it’s all subjective. If you liked sc season 3 that’s awesome! I get why you do and I’m glad you enjoyed it!

But I really wasn’t a fan of where they went with it (even from episode 1), and I’m gonna go on a long rambly and repetitive rant about it.

I’m not gonna talk about the way the season ended and the setup for s4 because I haven’t fully formed my opinion about that - to form my opinion means to relisten to the season and i don’t really feel like doing that.

Anyways, these are my unfiltered 2am thoughts about the Rest Of It - maybe I’ll neaten it up later to make it more palatable but for now it’s wordy n messy and you can just. Not read it bc it’ll probably make you mad, or feel free to pick it apart and tell me I’m wrong, or unfollow me (and at least one person has already done so lmao) but like that won’t change the fact that I just wasn’t feeling s3 so uh. That said.

Long answer? I love the second citadel... at least the first two seasons

I love the world building, how the setting is such a unique, deliberate step away from eurocentric fantasy, how refreshing all that is! The Second Citadel (the place) is rich with culture and history from the brief glimpses we get of it (mostly in knight of the crown). Not to mention the monster society, with its own rules (or lack thereof) and environments and personalities.

I love the storytelling, how different mediums are woven into the way each episode is formatted. Rilla has her tape recorder, Damien his prayers, Caroline her letters, and each medium is so well suited to each character, and it truly lets us get a glimpse of what’s going on in their minds, and I find it utterly fascinating how a protagonist of one story could just as easily become an antagonist (or at least, an annoyance) in another

And the characters! Each one so compelling, with their own goals and motivations, their own intriguing backstories and potential.

Most importantly, the way these characters play off of each other is what makes second citadel amazing. Getting to see people with similar experiences but different world views clash (Caroline and Mira), people with fundamentally different beliefs reconcile and meet in the middle (rilla and arum), just, Kabert created so many interesting characters, and watching them bounce off one another is a joy.

And that’s what made season 2 so great for me. The exploration of each character, getting to see their good sides and bad, through either a medium tailored for them, or through interactions with others, as they explored a fascinating world.

The end of season 2 left me so satisfied, but still with so many questions and excitement about what was to come. I wanted to see Talfryn come into his own and step out of his brothers shadow. I wanted to see Damien, Arum and Rilla navigating their new relationship. I wanted to know more of the fate of Rilla’s parents, Damien’s past, the consequences Arum would surely face after defying the monster court. I wanted Marc to finally be recognized by his fellow knights, to watch as Caroline lead the journeymen knights, while learning to trust in others as she was beginning to do. I wanted Angelo continuing to unlearn the implicit biases that had been instilled in him as a result of his upbringing, or more details on Caroline and Quanyii’s relationship. I was also curious!! How would human and monster relations change after the events of the finale? And would we learn more of the past, when humans and monsters lived together in peace?

I was buzzing with excitement for season 3, and then.. it came, it aired, and then it went.

And I felt... meh?

Don’t get me wrong. There were moments that I liked. Some of what I hoped to see did happen (see the above paragraph lmao), getting a glimpse of the western wastes with its own culture a joy. The dynamics between Olala and some of the characters were really fun! And the direction the story took at the end was one I didn’t expect, but left me open to more.

That said,,, everything else about the season just. Didnt gel with me.

Everything I loved about second citadel pretty much wasn’t there??? Aside from Caroline, Angelo and Quanyii, all the characters they spent so much time introducing to us and fleshing out over 2 seasons were just relegated to the side??

I think my main problem with season 3 was that it felt like a completely different show. Characters introduced as part of an ensemble became side characters in (what was supposed to be) their own stories. Character arcs that got set up were dropped, and mysteries/backstories teased were forgotten. Heck, the monster court and senate wasn’t even brought up! The aftermath of the fear bugs attack ont the citadel went unexplored! It’s like nothing in the past season even happened!

And I’m sorry I gotta say this, but the problem is Olala.

I mean. Okay I don’t wanna be super mean- she’s perfectly fine as a character. We root for her, we cry when she cries, and we cheer when she wins the day.

But since all the episodes were centered around her, we didn’t get to see anyone else’s inner worlds. And like okay, yes, they did it for this season of Juno Steel too, where Juno, the previous POV a character for 2 seasons, became a part of an ensemble, and was a side character for many episodes. But this choice worked for Juno and not Second Citadel, because it was a natural progression for his story! We spent 2 seasons exploring Juno’s character, his backstory, his motivations, we saw him come to terms with his family history, grow and change as a person, and by the time he joined the Carte Blanche, we’d gotten to a point with Junos story where we’re okay to step away for a while, and see events through the lens of others.

But that just?? Doesn’t work in second citadel? Because unlike Juno, the characters introduced in s1-2 are virtually unexplored! There’s still so much about their stories we don’t know, and so many ways for them to progress.

But we didn’t get any of that! Stuff established in s1-2 barely got payoff in this season. Characters stagnated, and when previously it was amazing to watch them interact with each other? Having each episode throw different combinations of characters together and seeing how they clashed and came together? Yeah we didn’t get that, it was all the same characters bouncing off of Olala, which is fine at first, but honestly? After the first couple episodes, it got stale.

And remember how before, we would get to see the characters tell their story through a medium suited for them? Well I noticed that the format of this season was a lot moreee audio drama-y (basically a TV show but with no visuals) and while there’s nothing wrong with that, one of SC’s strengths was in using the medium in unique ways, presenting the episodes in unique formats depending on the POV character. And with the exception of a few moments, the season really lacked that!

I know there were episodes in s1-2, like caves of discord and the Janus beast which didnt follow that format, but I think it’s a fan consensus that the episodes that do (moonlit hermit, KOTC lots, lady of the lake) are favourites, because they fully embraced the advantages and limitations those framing devices offered, and were truly perfect for character exploration.

It’s like. Idk. Imagine wolf 359 s3 where the si5 were introduced, and there was like 1-2 episodes of them interacting with the rest of our cast, but then after that the rest of the season just completely focuses on Eiffel and the new characters, and everyone else just disappears n twiddles their thumbs and doesn’t even do anything during the finale. That’s what happened this season, and that’s the kinda weird vibe I’m talking about.

Since I’m already rambling, I might as well just say some more stuff. I was disappointed with the music this season. I can tell Ryan Vibert was trying to figure a way to make SC sound different from Juno, and he was getting there in s1-2! The pieces that stand out now are the soft, acoustic guitar pieces, like Rillas song, or the lone melody line of the guitar in the SC theme. I thought he was getting it with s3e1, when Marc fought the dinosaur while traditional Japanese instruments were playing!! But then for the rest of the season, it was just samey echoey ambient electric guitar, like how it is for Juno. There could’ve been so much potential to give this world its own musical identity, but in the end, that attempt was dropped (at least that’s how it come off to me), just like so many other elements introduced in s1-2!

I’ve gotten this far in my rant, and I haven’t even talked about the story. And the story is. Hmmmmm

Like. It’s completely serviceable? Kabert are good at what they do so the story is a okay I guess? But to be completely honest, the characters and story were so tied together in previous seasons, so much so that in this season, even though the plot was just fine, it stayed just that. Fine. it always felt like there was something missing because the characters were the story, and to have just. So many holes in that department meant that the story itself was fundamentally empty.

Anyways uh. All of this is to say that this all boils down to character. I had my nits to pick with other elements but the fact that Rilla, Arum, Damien, Marc and Talfryn got completely sidelined (Tal most of all) when so much of the previous seasons were spent setting them up- in favour of a completely new storyline featuring new characters and settings when there was still so! Much! Left! Unfinished! From unfulfilled arcs to dynamics left untapped, and creative potential lost, the essence of the show was watered down and it left me with the intense feeling of

:/

Idk. Season 3 felt like a completely different show. I liked s1, I loved a2, but s3 just. isnt second citadel for me. I’ll probably still listen to the next season out of loyalty, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel as passionately about the shows future as I do it’s precious seasons, especially if they continue this way.

Sorry.

[posi-pan]

some time ago i saw a pansexual quoting a bi joke on twitter explaining how pan, queer and unlabeled people are usually forgotten on this type of posts and the person quoting was faced with so much criticism. i know commenting on those posts directly is not the best choice to show our point and the person was kind of rude. but i have been thinking a lot about this topic lately. for example: i don't know if it's some algorithm thing for me but pan related comments are quick to show up on tiktoks or tweets regarding attraction to multiple genders. those comments are usually pan people relating or making their versions of the same thing. by one side, i feel like i am invading their space and don't wanna be disrespectful but, on the other hand, we get so little representation that feels nice to connect with something even if it's not directed to you. i don't know what my point is, sorry, guess i just ranted

no need to be sorry for ranting!

idk like i get wanting posts to be about one identity or whatever, but the more i think about the concept of “derailing” queer posts, the more i’m like....why are we so angry when different queer people relate to our posts or add their experiences to our conversations, as long as it’s done in a good faith way and they aren’t trying to take away from the conversation, but simply add another perspective to it?

i understand the kneejerk “that’s not what this post is about” reaction, but the amount of aggression and “call outs” that happen sometimes is a little worrisome.

people often reply to my posts saying “and x identity!” and stuff like that, and sometimes others keep adding on, making it like a chain of positivity for a bunch of queer people. and i kind of feel like that’s kind of how queer spaces should be??

i’m not saying we shouldn’t ever have our own specific spaces (hi hello i have pan specific blog) but we need to remember that even with different identities, we all have a lot of similar experiences and we *are* one community. the way we’re so quick to hate and fight with each other over every little thing is really sad. (coming to mind right now is the hate directed toward the gay man flag from other queer people, specifically lesbians who think it’s a rip off of their flag).

anyways this became a rant in response to a rant lmao

[bunnyriviere]

my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

[shsl-fluff]

yo Im back 😔✌️ lmao I loved the way you did my fem baker so request! thanks for that! I know I'm quick to ask again already but you said you were willing to take requests for writing, right? lol could I do the v3 boys this time with a male s/o (or fem if you ain't comfortable with that) who's a reserve course student/is talentless? bonus if s/o is insecure about it like hajime was? 👉🏻👈🏻😳😣💞💞

Gonta Gokuhara

Gonta didn't understand why you seemed a little upset whenever he hung out with his classmates with you.

You were insecure. There were a lot of kind students in his class who were way more talented than you, and even though you trusted Gonta, you were still a little afraid that he would fall for one of the other boys

(Or girls of course. Gonta was pansexual, and all the girls in his class seemed pretty and nice too)

You, Gonta, and a few of his friends (Oma, Saihara, Hoshi, and Shinguji) went out to eat one night together at a little diner 

You were honestly getting anxious as they all talked about things oriented around their talents

Ryoma had gotten back into tennis after his long break, Shuichi had a new case he was working on, which Kokichi seemed to know way too much about, and Korekiyo had just gotten back from a trip. 

As they all chatted about what they were amazing at, you were just silent

What did you really have to talk about that was just as cool as their misadventures?

So you stared at the floor until Gonta suddenly tapped your shoulder. Ryoma had gone out for a smoke break, Shuichi was absorbed in his notes, Korekiyo was in the bathroom, and Kokichi was Lord knows where

"(Y/N)? You look upset… did I do something wrong?" He looked at you with his big puppy dog eyes. 

"You didn't do anything wrong… I just… don't feel like my topics are interesting? You're all ultimates and I'm just… me…"

"You are just you!" Gonta said joyfully "and Gonta just Gonta, and Ryoma is just Ryoma, and Kokichi is just Kokichi and-"

You cut him off. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean… I'm not special. You and your friends have so much status and skill and-"

"But that doesn't matter, Love bug"

It always made you bashful when he called you by that nickname

"Really?"

He nodded and kissed your forehead. 

When the others came back, Gonta brought you into the conversation and got you talking

At first you were nervous, yet your worries melted as you got more involved in the conversation.

You just became one of the guys. Whether or not they were ultimates didn't matter. 

When you all started to leave after eating, you overheard Saihara talking to his friend over the phone

"Yeah, I met Gontas' boyfriend. He really seems like a good fit for him, but I'm not great at romance… Either way, it's clear Gonta loves him."

That made you feel a lot more confident. That an ultimate thought you and Gonta were a good pair

Then again, Gonta was right. It didn't matter if they were ultimates or not. 

Kiibo (K1-B0)

One of his friends, Miu, had been hanging around recently. She was the ultimate inventor, and was working on a big upgrade for Kiibo

You were starting to feel jealous about all the time he spent with her and not you. 

You didn't think he would cheat or anything, it was just lonely without him. 

But Kiibo couldn't tell. He was sort of oblivious to human emotions. It wasn't his fault, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

Miu had set up a makeshift workshop in your room, because "Kiibos charging port was in there anyway"

Schoolwork was piling up, too. You found yourself working until you fell asleep on the couch. 

You were lonely, stressed, and, to be honest, starting to get paranoid that Miu really had stolen your lover's metallic heart.

One day during studying you just cracked. 

You broke down in tears, shaking.

You couldn't help it. You choked out Kiibos name.

"(Y/N?)" You heard him call.

"Wait I'm still working!" Miu called. He got up anyway and went to your side. 

He put a cold hand on your back, accidentally causing a jolt of electricity. 

"Sorry… Miu was working and wasn't fully done but I wanted to make sure you were-"

"I wish I could be like Miu," you said suddenly. 

He went quiet in confusion. 

"Like you or Miu or your classmates… ultimate robot, ultimate inventor, ultimate detective, ultimate magician… ultimate, ultimate, ultimate" you sobbed

"All I'm good at is being painfully average" 

"That's not true!" Kiibo said quickly. "You're very special, to me at least…"

"I feel so lonely"

He went quiet. "Oh…" 

Every time he touched you it shocked you. "Miu needs to fix that… it happened when she was working on the upgrades."

"How much longer?"

"Tomorrow, hopefully… I would hug you but I don't want to shock you…" 

You managed a weak smile. "Thank you"

You heard him walking off, and then silence.

You managed to fall asleep after a while, and when you woke up, you were in bed.

Kiibo was holding you close in his arms, radiating a warm heat. 

"Kiibo?"

"You're up? Morning" Kiibo responded. "Miu finished with her updates… I hope you don't mind, but my side of the bed is a charging port now… So we can sleep in the same bed together" he was going red. 

"Really? You did those updates for me?"

He nodded slowly

You started to cry as he rubbed your back and started to radiate more heat. 

"I love you"

"I love you, too"

Kaito Momota

You would never say it, but you were definitely jealous of the luminary of the stars

Even if only a little bit

You knew about what he had done to become an ultimate, and it made the jealousy increase

It normally was something you could keep under control. It must have taken a lot of talent to fool such a strict system, so he deserved getting in anyway, right?

One day he was ranting about his schoolwork and something in you just broke. 

"Just… Stop… I know that you're an ultimate, Kaito. Please just stop talking about it" you muttered

He went. It was shocking for him to see you so upset all the sudden. 

You started to cry suddenly. "I'm sorry… I'm being so mean" you whimpered. 

"Don't be sorry." He said softly, putting a hand on your back. 

He really cared about you, and didn't realize he had brought you over the edge. 

"Hey, hey. It's getting dark out, how about we stargaze?"

You smiled and nodded. 

Kokichi Ouma

Like with everyone else, Ouma would tease you a lot

Often, he would tease you about being a reserve course student. 

You often would throw back a snarky reply to please him. 

He didn't actually realize it hurt you.

One day after a particularly tiring shift at work, he threw a remark towards you. 

"Hey, hey hey! How was your job?" Kokichi was hanging upside down on the couch. "Why can't you parents just pay for you, like how they paid for Hope's Peak for you?"

Normally, you would ignore it, but today you just couldn't. 

You went uncomfortably quiet, clenching your fists and holding in tears as you marched into your room and closed the door

You flopped on the bed as the tears started to spill. 

The door opened quietly. 

"(Y/N)? The stuff I said about you… that was just a lie, ya know?"

You sobbed and shook your head.

"But you're right… I'm only here because of my stupid parents and their stupid money. That's the only reason I'm in Hopes Peak"

"(Y/N)?" 

You didn't listen as you kept talking.

"I'm just a useless, talentless, reserve course student. I'm never going to get anywhere in life…"

"(Y/N)..."

"I'm just a dumb, privileged teen boy. I'm so stupid I'm so-" 

"(Y/N)!" He pulled you into a tight embrace and kissed you as you cried.

"Hey, hey… you aren't just a nobody, (Y/N)"

"that's just a-"

"It's not a lie" his voice was so genuine.

You believed him this time. 

"You know I love you, right? My boyfriend, my partner in crime, my best friend…"

He cupped your cheek as you nodded shakily. 

"You know, you're my second in command for a reason. Because you're so smart. A lot smarter than a lot of the other ultimates."

You cuddled in silence for a while, until your boyfriend had to go. 

Before leaving, he turned back to you with a stupid smirk

"Talentless reserve course student"

You stuck your tongue out at him

"Airhead ultimate"

Korekiyo Shinguji

A lot of reserve course students were victims of bullying, and you were one of them.

You knocked on your lovers door after school, sniffling. You knew he was home, ultimates could skip classes without much repercussions. 

"Who is it?" You heard your lover ask from the other side of the door. 

You sniffled softly and choked out a response. "Kiyo… it's me, (Y/N)."

He paused for a moment "oh, one moment" he sounded surprised to hear your cries. 

He opened the door and wrapped his arms around you. 

He wasn't big on hugs, so it definitely meant a lot. 

"What's troubling you, my (Y/N)?"

You told him how some of the ultimates were harassing you, before you started sobbing so hard you couldn't speak

"Come here, sit down" he ushered you to the dining table and started to make you macha tea. 

He set it down in front of you, sitting down across from you with a teacup of his own. 

"How about I tell you another story, my love? Would that make you feel better?"

You nodded "I like your voice,…" you said between tears "it's comforting."

Heat rushed to his cheeks at the comment, but started to tell you about different Yokai, and what they reflected in society. 

You listened as you drank your tea

"Kiyo?" You asked shakily as he finished talking about the futakuchi-onna.

"Can we cuddle? I-im sorry I know I'm being clingy but-"

"You aren't, dear. Let's go to my room" 

He took your hand and guided you to his bed.

He wrapped you both up in blankets and pulled you on his lap. 

"Can I-"

"You can play with my hair" he said before you could finish.

You smiled and ran your hands through his hair slowly. It was so soft and silky

It calmed you. 

"You're so beautiful" he whispered in your ear. 

"But… I'm not an ultimate" you mumbled

"And? Why would that make you any less beautiful?"

"I don't know but…"

He pulled down his mask and kissed you softly. 

"You're an amazing boyfriend, (Y/N). Don't fret." 

Rantaro Amami

Rantaro didn't remember his talent, so why would it matter to him if you were a reserve course student?

He knew it made you uncomfortable, so decided to simply not bring it up. 

He would often have to leave for long periods of time, searching for his sisters. 

When he did, he would bring you and his other friends tons of gifts

It felt like they often got similar things each time, linking back to their talents. 

But you got an eclectic amount of gifts.

It felt nice that he thought if things you like that weren't just based on a title

"I found this owl shaped horn, and it reminded me of you" he said as you raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, it's interesting and cool! Isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is" you smiled and blew into it. 

It made an owl like hoot. 

He grinned at you, and you grinned back. 

He suddenly pulled you into a hug

"I missed you, (Y/N)"

"Even though I'm not an ultimate like your friends?"

He frowned and kissed you softly. 

"Of course."

Ryoma Hoshi

Ryoma was honestly jealous of you.

A lot of his problems started because of his ultimate. 

He wished he could have been a normal guy like you, especially back  in middle school...

But he would never tell you that

Not because he didn't trust you, but because he didn't want to remember her. 

One day, you were both sitting on the couch, watching whatever stupid reality show that was on the TV.

You noticed something. All the people had their carriers or a defining part of their life under their name. 

'Doctor, Mother, Soldier'

And then…

'Ex-student from Hope's Peak'

"I wish I could be an ultimate" you mumbled absently. "Once you're admitted to that school, you're set for life, huh? Fame, money, job opportunities…" 

Ryoma suddenly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. 

"I wish I could stop being an ultimate" he muttered. He wasn't mad, not at all. Just crying to stop himself from crying. 

"I'm sorry, Ryoma" you said softly. You knew when to stop. 

"Can I… tell you about what happened?"

You always knew something happened. You knew your boyfriend was on death row at one point, but that his legal team had fought endlessly for him to be released on parole. 

"Yeah, if it'd make you feel better, Ryoma"

He said everything, the tennis matches, the spell of anger before defeating his final appointment. The fear. Hiding. When she was found.

He broke down in tears. He couldn't help it, it was just too much to go back to. 

You pulled him into a kind embrace and rubbed his back. 

"I love you, (Y/N)" he sobbed softly. "You're a wonderful boyfriend. You're so great" he hiccuped. 

It was rare for him to let his emotions out like this, and it was clear he had so much bundled up. 

You held him close and kept comforting him.

It really meant the world to him. 

Shuichi Saihara

You and Shuichi didn't talk much about him being an ultimate. 

But it was definitely always on your mind

He had to work for hours on end on the most difficult cases due to his title as the Ultimate detective. 

He'd work until he fell asleep at his desk. And then go right back to working.

It made you feel lonely. 

It was like his title mattered more than his boyfriend. 

One day when he was working, you wrapped your arms around him. "Shuichi? Could you please take a day off?" You mumbled softly in his ear.

He went red. "I would,  but I'm-"

"So close to finishing that case, I know… but if you took a break and looked at it from a new perspective, I'm sure you'd get out of this rut"

He hesitated slightly. 

"And I miss spending time with you"

That convinced him. 

You both cuddled on the couch and put on a cheesy movie. 

It was nice for him to take a day with his lover. He really needed that break