#stuck with the weirdo

[krowkeeper]

I know the classic t shirts are white. But rest assured you can change the color of the shirt. There is also black lettering shirts

[leafuxxtea]

'Oh God, they're beside me again, aren't they.'

LMFAOOO WHAT DID THIS GUY DO TO DESERVE THIS. imagine just sitting there, eating your lunch peacefully while one of your comrades (he's not even eating food, wtf is he doing there) goes and harass the other one once again with his weird homosexual activities (wiping the other's blood and licking it???). I'd lose it, personally.

[mynabirb]

gossip buddies are an essential part of corporate work culture

[rootworks]

Lúcio but I make him go to Australia(junkertown)!!!!!!!

[nutmegs-tired]

Gimli: wait, you talk to trees? You listen to them?

Legolas: my kind taught them to speak

Gimli : now I know you're pulling my leg

Aragorn : no it's true

Gimli : …

Legolas: wouldn't you teach them to speak to share and learn about the the world you were all alone in?

Gimli : no, no I wouldn't

[the-morphiend]

I will never apologize for the absurdity of my rare-pairs because it makes sense to me. So anyway here’s Morbius giving Deadpool some eyebrows.

[kayakoto-enterprises]

smiling friends and dhmis fans i genuinely believe mr. boss and lesley would be best friends

[mxtxfanatic]

does MXTX actually say, in the novel or elsewhere, what it was that Jiang Cheng did to get blacklisted by the matchmakers? I mean, he's handsome, powerful and wealthy and even Jin Guangshan was able to find someone to marry him. Probably an arranged marriage but Jiang Cheng doesn't even seem to be able to warrant one of those, he's less appealing than JGS???

MXTX says that Jiang Cheng has been blacklisted by matchmakers in this interview. The thing about using wealth and power as major traits that should lead to partnership, guaranteed, is that it only attracts people who lack those things and view them as necessities. Qin Su married Jin Guangyao because she genuinely loved him, whereas he—lacking the money and power he craved—targeted her specifically for her status. Jin Guangshan is described as charming, so it’s no wonder he was able to find a wife; Madam Jin likely just did not know (or assumed it would change post-wedding) that Jin Guangshan was a serial cheater and rapist. Even Jin Zixuan was able to have a good married life once he looked past Jiang Yanli’s looks and into her stellar personality, which he had refused to do when he was initially rebelling against their arranged marriage. On the other hand, despite how beautiful, powerful, and wealthy Yu Ziyuan was on top of the benefits of a marriage partnership with the Yu Clan, Jiang Fengmian still had to be pressured into marrying her, and only gave in when he lost his last support.

The gentry, especially in this story, are not moved by someone being “handsome, wealthy, and powerful,” when they are surrounded by people who all fit that description lmao. You actually need to have a personality that’s not just “bitter, cruel, and generally unpleasant” in order to get anyone to willingly associate with you in this world. Madam Yu got lucky that the man she wanted was mild-mannered enough to be bullied into a marriage. The women of the present-day jianghu are lucky that Jiang Cheng is so hate-filled that he hasn’t latched onto any of them in the exact same way.

[sejjiplinth]

everytime i think about marcus absolutely hurling two kids across the zoo because they were being annoying over a bale of hay i start giggling to myself

[bumblingbabooshka]

Noss x Tuvok [Patreon | Commissions]

[vatoffakeacid]

UNHINGED PRISON JELLY ⁉️

(Click for better quality lol)

[well-poisoner]

is it mean? yes, BUT

[kc5rings]

A short something for the combined holiday of Muzzle Monday and it being Asbetos Arknights birthday, obviously nsfw under the cut

Ever read those stories about the wild sex people get up to in far north research stations? Me neither.

Tags: Bondage, spanking (tail style), bdsm, creative use of spelunking equipment, crying, practical applications of long lizard tongue

Base camps were always cramped.

Asbestos recognized the need for them but even when they were technically larger than her tent they always felt more confining.

Too solid.

Too permanent.

It had been several days journey already and this building was the last stop before the truly wild tundra, without another living soul for miles

Save of course, for the woman currently straddling her.

“There we go! Nice and secure, how’s it feel? Any circulation issues?”

Magallan’s voice was chipper as ever, like she was chatting about having had pleasant breakfast to start her day instead of having spent the last several minutes tying someone up.

“Like I’ve been kidnapped.”

Asbestos also sounded like her usual self, each word dripping with sarcasm and disdain. When her comment failed to dim Magallan’s thousand watt smile Asbestos sighed and flexed various parts of her body to properly triage herself, this would be a stupid way to get an injury and have to call off their expedition.

Magallan had been thorough, Asbestos had to admit. The basecamp only had one permanent cot, a solid metal frame that was firmly bolted to the floor meant it wasn’t going anywhere. And neither was Asbestos.

Ratchet straps used for securing gear now secured Asbestos’ legs to the cot frame at the ankle and thigh, holding them firmly in place and spreading her legs slightly. Smaller straps carefully tightened made for makeshift wrist cuffs that Magallan had then pulled up over Asbestos’ head, one tell tale click of a carabiner and she was well and truly stuck.

At least Magallan had left Asbestos with her thermal undersuit, one solid piece of tight fabric that covered everything save Asbestos’ hands, feet, head and tail. It didn’t have the shine of some of her club wear back home, but the compression was nice and too much direct skin to skin contact made Asbestos antsy anyway.

A quick test tug proved the bindings plenty sturdy, Asbestos couldn’t quite crane her head back to see what her wrists were bound to, but places like this always had hard points everywhere. Asbestos found herself appreciating Magellan’s resourcefulness in mostly using the equipment on hand for her game.

“No numbness, good blood flow, my shoulders are going to start bitching eventually with my arms up over my head like this but I can deal. This though…”

Asbestos jerked her chin up, clearly indicating the one thing Magallan had strapped in place that wasn’t scavenged from spelunking gear.

“Feels like overkill.”

Magallan laughed and reached her hand up to stroke the offending piece of gear, a close fitting cage of carbon fiber and nylon webbing that perfectly followed the contours of Asbestos’ face. You could be forgiven for thinking it was yet more scavenged equipment, but it was far to singular in its purpose to be anything other than what it was.

A muzzle.

“What you don’t like it? I even got Mayer to let me use her workshop equipment to make it for you.”

Asbestos turned her head sharply to the side in a pout, making a mental note to kill Mayer the next time she saw her. All while trying to push down the feelings that bubbled up at the thought of Magallan going out of her way to make something just her.

Outside the wind picked up, signaling a storm would be blowing through shortly, both experienced explorers making a mental note out of habit.

“Oh yes, muzzled like a beast is exactly how I wanted to spend my birthday, a real fucking trea-“

SMACK

Magallan’s smile never faded, even as she reached back and brought the flat of her hand down *hard* on the underside of Asbestos’ exposed tail. The effect is instant, Asbestos’ hips rise sharply as her back arches, accompanied by a sharp cry that slides down to a low moan as Magallan begins to rub the spot she just struck.

“That’s 1! This is your birthday trip after all so of course we’ve got to start things off with birthday spankings right?”

Red had flooded Asbestos’ face, both from the deep heat the slap had sparked between her legs and from embarrassment at the sound she’d made when it landed.

“Fuck you! You know how sensitive my tail is! Besides that’s way too many, I’m turning t-“

SMACK

Another sharp gasp, another arching of the back, this time with Magallan rolling her hips down onto Asbestos. Both of their protective gear was stacked in a corner which made for very little fabric between them, Magallan in only her slightly baggy sweater and tights. No direct contact but plenty enough to feel.

“I know how old you are, and don’t worry, I’ll keep a very strict count to make sure we don’t miss any!”

Asbestos writhed under Magallan, her not inconsiderable strength putting her restraints to the test, but they held firm. Asbestos was helpless against Magallans assault.

SMACK

SMACK

SMACK

A truly impressive string of profanity poured through the bars of Asbestos’ muzzle, making use of every swear in every language she’d learned throughout her travels. However by number fifteen or so, profanity had given way to choked gasps and by twenty, to occasional shuddering sobs.

Notably, none of this colorful language included Asbestos safeword, crevasse, nor did her free to move tail give the the established three taps against Magallan’s leg once words failed her. Either option would stop their game in its tracks, but Magallan had learned quite a long time ago that while Asbestos might be the hardest person on Terra to get to admit to what she wants, Asbestos was in no way shy about declaring when she didn’t want something.

So the spankings continued, one for every year that Asbestos had seen.

SMACK

Finally, the last blow landed. Asbestos’ head lolled to the side, mouth hanging open slightly and tears streaking one side of her face from the only eye that could still cry.

Magallan massaged the base of Asbestos’ tail as her other hand reached up to caress that tear stained cheek.

“There now… all done. You did so a good for me Asbestos, so so good.”

Asbestos had long since given up on words, choosing instead to nuzzle into Magallan’s touch. It was only moments like this, after Magallan tone the time to really break her down and crack her defenses that Asbestos could openly express her affection this way.

Ask Asbestos about it later and she’d just say it’s one of many things that make her a freak to be avoided, to Magallan though, it was one of her many charms. Like some of the most breathtaking views she’d seen on expeditions, a sight seen only by her.

“But it’s not a birthday without a treat is it? And you have been so good.”

Asbestos let the praise wash over her, a soothing balm after the hurt that felt all the more warm for being hard earned. She had been good and she wanted her treat.

“P-please…”

Magallan could play the sadist with ease for their games, but she truly didn’t think she could ever turn Asbestos down when she begged earnestly like that.

Magallan slid up from Asbestos’ waist until her knees where on either side of the bound woman’s head. Making sure she could steady herself on some equipment hooks on the wall Magallan reached down to push her tights down her legs until they were out of the way. Carefully, Magallan lowered herself until her slit was close enough to feel Asbestos’ labored breathing.

“Go on, enjoy your treat.”

Asbestos glazed over eyes shifted from excitement, to confusion, to frustration as her endorphin soaked brain tried to process this new situation. The muzzle was still in place, how was she supposed to…

“Sorry dear, but when you get like this you tend to get a bit too enthusiastic when you’re eating and I’ve had quite enough of those sharp teeth going where they aren’t wanted.”

Asbestos flushed red once more, realizing now that the custom made muzzle may not been crafted solely for her benefit.

“Oh don’t go getting shy on me, I had that made so you don’t need to be careful. Take everything you want, no need to hold back.”

Magallan’s ever present smile shifted to a conspiring smirk as she watched Asbestos try to puzzle out what she was meant to do.

“Come now, you’re a smart woman, an experienced explorer can always find the path through adversity right?”

Asbestos was on the verge of getting annoyed, if she couldn’t be trusted to use her mouth than what did Magallan expect her to-

Oh

Oh

Finally, Asbestos understood. It was embarrassing and surprisingly devious from Magallan but Asbestos couldn’t deny that making it hotter

Asbestos opened her mouth as much as her muzzle would allow, slowly extending her tongue out and up toward Magallan

Long, blue and thick, Asbestos’ tongue pushed through the confines of the muzzle, saliva letting it slip past with ease. While not quite as dextrous as her tail, Asbestos’ savra tongue could work wonders.

From her helpless position underneath her, Asbestos slid into Magallan, tongue twisting and coiling deeper into Magallan until the bars of Asbestos’ muzzle grew slick with her need and Magallan’s moans replaced Asbestos’ cries from only moments earlier.

The base camp had become a small smoldering spark of heat amidst endless frozen tundra, any sound that escaped from inside was carried off into the night by the howling winds.

Outside, the storm now raged. Inside, both explorers new they were likely to be snowed in for awhile. But neither of them could find it in themselves to care in that moment.

They had plenty of ways to pass the time.

[dourgeek]

Guess who's my favorite

☆please do not repost or repurpose my work, thank you!☆

[imperatorrrrr]

The fist bump is giving sidgeno vibes, I hope they are also together forever being weird about each other ❤️

from your mouth to the hockey gods ears, anon.

I've already done my JackNico SteveBucky parallels manifesto, but we all know the real Stucky duo in the NHL is and will always be SidGeno, so your comparison of JackNico to SidGeno is apt.

also like generally speaking, SidGeno and NicoJack match.

Sid and Nico are both captains, centers, first overalls, their entire teams would absolutely run through a wall for them, and anyone that questions their captaincy is an absolute dumbass.

Geno and Jack are both centers who absolutely hate doing media (specifically reporter heavy media) who are widely seen in fandom as bitches (lovingly) who will gladly remind you who the captain of their teams are and you better put respect on their names and who came onto the teams after Sid and Nico did, respectively, and became the team's divas (lovingly).

here's to hoping Nico and Jack lift as many C*ps or more C*ps as Sid and Geno have.

[bubmyg]

jikook have such a sweet relationship w each other. may they never ever lose that :-/