#struggling to post this but i have nothing else to post 😔

[anonymouscheeses]

Old sketch I decided to give line art and color. Will definitely NOT finish this but if I do thennnn iunno congrats on me finally finishing an abandoned sketch 😭

[raspberrybesitos]

mistletoe kisses | joel miller x f!reader

Main masterlist

Rating: M - 18+ MDNI

Word count: ~2.6k

Summary: You decorate the Christmas tree with some help from Joel and Ellie.

Warnings: established relationship, post-outbreak, Jackson era, canon divergent bc nothing bad ever happens to them ever 😁, sickening fluff, pet names (honey, darlin’, baby, babydoll, etc), allusions to smut, no mention of hair type/skin color/body type, NO USE OF Y/N.

A/N: surprise!!! i know i said this would be up on the 22nd, but i’ve got something else that will be up on saturday 🤭 and i just couldn’t stop thinking about giving this man a happy ending, including healing and starting new traditions with his family 😔 i wish joel was real 💔 anyway, i hope y’all enjoy! not beta’d, all mistakes are my own. 🏃‍♀️

Divider by @/saradika

Grumbling, he treks behind you, snow crunching beneath his work boots as he cautiously lugs the saw in his hands.

You’re rambling about finding the perfect tree in front of him, Ellie asking a million questions about the tradition.

He hadn’t expected, intended, to find a partner in Jackson. That is until he saw you, lugging a heavy crate of harvested crops across the town, your wagon having been broken. Tommy had told him about you, how you were single.

“She’s sweet as pie, brother. She might be good for you. Real pretty too.” Joel recalls the conversation he had with Tommy before he stormed off to the barn.

His Southern hospitality lay dormant until he saw you struggling. The urge to help creeped up on him. His typical quite observant demeanor tossed out the window as he approached you.

“Need some help?” He asks.

You wipe your brow, huffing before laying your eyes on the broad, handsomely rugged man in front of you - it’s Tommy’s brother. His name escaping you briefly.

You beam. “Oh. Sure. Thank you…” you trail off, slightly off guard by his kind gesture. His large gloved hand extends out towards you.

“Joel,” he finishes your sentence. “Thank you, Joel,” your hand shaking his, giving him your name. It rolls off his tongue with a certain sweetness, sending a flurry of butterflies to swirl in your belly. You knew of him, but knew he was also not a man of many words. You had yet to make acquaintances with him and who you assume is his daughter.

“You’re Tommy’s brother right?” You curiously ask, attempting to make small talk as Joel grunts while picking up the crate.

“Yes ma’am.”

Smiling at his Southern drawl, you run to help him carry one side of the heavy crate, feeling bad letting him do all the work.

“Uh uh, what do you think you’re doin’?” He asks, brow raised as you both stop in your tracks. “Helping you,” you state. He chuckles, shaking his head as he begins to walk.

“I asked if you needed help, darlin’. ‘Sides, what kinda man would I be letting a pretty girl like you carry all this shit by herself? My momma would have me by the head, ‘s for damn sure.”

You open your mouth to detest the notion that women need any assistance from men, but he stops you before you can.

“‘N I know ya don’t need any help from any man. You women are tough as shit, met a lota you over the years. Jus’ wanna help, ‘s all.” He kindly explains. You don’t understand why he wants to help, why he’s approached you specifically.

You’re aware that he’s typically very reserved, not leaving his house if he doesn’t have to. You’ve heard things about his past, and Tommy having confided in you at times, but the world has gone to shit. Who are you to judge? Everyone’s done some horrible stuff to stay alive.

He’s also painfully handsome. Opting to not object to his help and company, you sigh.

“Well, at least let me take some of the vegetables,” you protest, grabbing bunches of carrots. He chuckles quietly.

“Sure thing, darlin’,” he mutters. The nickname catching you both by surprise as a sort of tension falls over you two.

Flashing him a grateful toothy grin, you gather the vegetables in your arms. He gives you a small smirk in return.

“So how are you liking Jackson? I don’t see you ‘round much,” you ask as you begin the trek to the dining hall.

“‘S good. Big change, learnin’ the ropes of patrol. Makin’ sure Ellie’s settlin’ in,” he states. “And Ellie’s…”

“My family,” he says firmly. You nod, internally assuming she’s not his biological daughter.

“Well, I hope you both settle in nicely.” He feels his heart soften at your kindness.

He thought you’d have shied away from him, that you’d have listened to what people are saying about him around town.

But you didn’t. You took to him kindly, warmly.

He’ll be damned if he told Tommy he was right about you, He’d never hear the end of it… but shit, was he right. You were so kind and open-minded, and so beautiful.

The both of you making small talk as you trek to the dining hall, Joel lugging the crate into the kitchen for prep as you follow behind. He places the crate on the floor with a grunt. You drop the carrots in the box afterwards.

Rising to his feet, he sighs as he wipes his hands on his jeans, you copying his actions.

“Thank you again, Joel. I really appreciate it,” you tell him again. “Ain’t no problem, darlin’.”

Silence fills the air, save for the clanging and clattering of utensils in the kitchen.

“Would you… would you like to have a drink sometime? As a, uh, form of repayment for helping me today,” you timidly ask. A small smile breaks out onto Joel’s face.

“You ain’t gotta repay me, darlin’. But I’d love to grab a drink with ya,” he says.

Smiling from ear to ear, you nod happily. “It’s a date,” you say, before slapping a hand over your mouth as your eyes go wide. “I-I’m sorry. It’s not a date, it doesn't have to be. I mean, u-unless you want-,” you nervously ramble before Joel cuts you off.

“‘S a date,” he rasps. A soft smile on both your faces. The rest is history.

He wouldn’t trade that moment for the world, as he’s got you by his side now. He just didn’t expect that drink to lead him to trudging through the woods in the freezing early morning to cut down a tree.

He’d much rather be sleeping right now on his day off, but he can never say no to his girls.

Making your way through the woods, you and Ellie wind through the path while Joel stands and watches. There aren’t many trees, but just enough to scour from.

Not seeing any you like, you continue to walk down the path. “What about this one?” Ellie asks, standing next to a fir no taller than Joel.

Your eyes light up, a sparkly smile illuminating your face.

“It’s perfect. Great find, Ellie!” You yelp, high fiving the girl who’s equally excited.

“Hey, Joel!” Ellie shouts through her hands, her cheeks rosy and nose frosted. He clambers through the trees, saw in hand with his signature scowl. “Find one?”

“Mhmm,” Ellie says while beaming, you nodding in agreement. Joel sighs as he begins to saw down the tree. The trunk’s not very thick, the branches skinny, but still full enough to mimick the times before.

It falls to the snow covered ground, you and Ellie taking a few steps back. Joel stomps over to it, hoisting it up over his shoulder.

“Thank you, honey,” you whisper against his ear before placing a kiss on his patchy beard. His body flushing hot red from heat despite the cold air.

“Sure thing, baby,” he says bashfully, smiling a smile only reserved for you. Lacing his fingers with yours, you walk hand-in-hand back to the house with Ellie rambling ahead of you, vibrating with excitement.

“Joel, could you move it a little to the left?” You ask, hands clasped together over your lips. Joel grunts, red in the face as he shoves the fir to the left.

“A little more, please?”

Another grunt.

“A liiiitttllleee more.”

With a sigh, he shoves it once more.

“Perfect!” You clap. Joel rises to his full height, groaning as his bones crack and ache. You stride to him, leaning in for a kiss.

He could never stay annoyed at you.

“Thank you, honey,” you mutter with a dopey grin. Joel mirrors your expression, wrapping his hands around your waist and pressing his lips against yours. A saccharine kiss, your fingers curling in his grays.

His heart flutters as you sigh into him, your contentment radiating through your chest and into his soul.

When the fuck did his heart ever flutter?

“You guys gonna do that all fucking day or what?!” Ellie shouts, cutting ribbon and twine for the decorations.

You both startle at the sound of her voice, jumping in Joel’s arms. Joel glares at Ellie as laughter bubbles over your lips.

“Sorry, Ellie,” you call out. “Seriously, thank you, honey,” you tell Joel with a pat on his broad chest.

“No problem, darlin’,” he says softly with a swift kiss to your forehead before releasing you from his grasp. Joel strides into the kitchen to heat up some milk, with you rushing over to Ellie who sits at the dining table with an array of supplies.

You’re so good with Ellie, so patient with her while gently explaining how to string the dried oranges on the twine. She gets the hang of it pretty easily, holding it up and beaming with pride. Your giddiness mirroring hers, praising her as you waltz into the kitchen with Joel.

Placing a chaste kiss to his cheek, you flit around him as you pop some kernels in a hot pan. Transforming them into popcorn to make more garlands, and working in comfortable silence alongside each other.

You dump the popcorn into a bowl, you place a tender kiss on his shoulder before returning to Ellie.

Joel feels warm, and it’s not from the heat of the stove.

He preps mugs of hot chocolate for all of you, the chocolate powder stale but still good - the novelty of the gesture still there and just as sweet.

Padding into the living room, the sight of you two making decorations at the table and placing them on the tree tugs at Joel’s heart strings. Remembering how he’d help Sarah decorate their tree every year. Swallowing his grief, he allows himself to enjoy this moment while remembering his daughter.

That’s something you’re teaching him - not to take moments, things, people for granted.

Despite the pain, he knows he’ll confide in you later tonight about it when you’re alone. He sets the mugs on the table, making you pop your head up to flash him a dazzling smile.

“Thank you, honey.”

“‘Course, baby,” he says with a wink. Your smile grows wider, Ellie looking up and rolling her eyes. She playfully gags, Joel smacking his lips as his smile morphs into a scowl.

“Knock it off, kid,” he scolds.

“You knock it off, old man. We’re working here, and you keep distracting my partner,” she retorts. He scoffs, rolling his eyes. You can’t help, but laugh at their banter.

“Sorry, Ellie. I promise I’m listening,” your laughter dissolving into giggles. Joel rolls his eyes before getting a fire going in the fireplace.

Standing back and taking in the scene playing out in front of him. Hot chocolate, a tree, decorations being strung upon it - how is this possible? What did he do to deserve this?

He shakes the thought from his head, not questioning the good thing – the very good thing – in front of him. Instead, he enjoys watching his girls flit around the tree.

Ellie excitedly attempts to place the makeshift star on the tree that she crafted out of some stray branches and extra paper she had in her sketch pad.

She can’t reach, being significantly shorter than the tree. Huffing in defeat, she shoots you a look - both of you thinking the same thing. She whips around, paper star in hand.

“Joel, wanna do the honors?” She asks, holding out the star. Joel swallows thickly, never having thought he’d be doing this again.

“Sure,” he softly says, taking the star from Ellie and setting it atop the tree. The three of you stand back, admiring your hard work in silence, as you tightly wrap your arms around Joel’s middle. He holds you tighter.

“Looks good,” he mumbles. You nod, soft smile on your face.

“Hell yeah, it does!” Ellie giddily yells before cutting off her next thought. “No way, is that hot chocolate?!” She shouts, rushing to the table to grab a mug.

“Yeah, careful kid, it’s still hot,” Joel warns, still wound up in your arms. Ellie blows caution to the wind as she gulps it down.

“Ellie, slow down! You’re gonna get a stomachache,” you scold lightly. “It’s hot chocolate! When the hell am I ever gonna come across this again?!”

“I’ll find some more, jus’ slow down! Gonna be all fuckin’ hopped up on sugar,” Joel begrudgingly says. Rolling her eyes, she glances at the clock. Her eyes bug out of her head.

“Shit! I told Cat I’d meet her at 6!” She shouts before gulping down the rest of her hot chocolate, slamming the mug on the table.

“Be back later!” She says, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Be back by 9!” Joel shouts. “Mhmm,” her tone dismissive. “I mean it, Ellie,” he warns.

“Sure thing, old man!” She says before reaching for the doorknob. “Ellie, 9 o’clock, okay?” You chime in, asking.

She turns around, taking in the both of you. “Okay,” she says with another roll of her eyes and an exasperated sigh before heading out the door. It slams shut, making you and Joel wince.

Joel rolls his eyes. “Girl don’t listen,” rubbing his face as he grumbles.

“She’s just excited, can you blame her? Besides, she’s safe here, Joel,” you say, comfortingly rubbing your hands up and down his broad flannel-covered chest.

“I know. Just still getting used to all this,” he rasps. The two of you still stand in the doorway, wrapped up in one another before a grin breaks out on your face.

“Oh, could you help me with one more thing?” You beam at him. His brow quirks up in confusion. “‘Course, baby. What do ya need?”

You unravel yourself from his embrace, padding into the kitchen. He hears you clambering, his curiosity peaking. You return with something behind your back, smiling wider now.

Whipping the sprig of mistletoe from behind your back, you hold it above your head. His features softening.

Joel immediately recognizes what you’re holding, beaming at your antics.

“Could you help me hang this up please?” You ask, drawing out the last syllable, batting your lashes at him with a sly smirk.

“Y’know, if ya wanted a kiss, all ya gotta do is ask, babydoll,” he rasps as he takes it from you, not missing the chance to place a teasing kiss on your cheek. Waves of heat run through you from head to toe.

Joel hangs the mistletoe with ease on a nail that’s been conveniently placed above the kitchen entryway, right where you’re both standing.

You must’ve put it up there when he was on patrol a few days ago.

The red ribbon you tied around the plant stands out against the dark framing, the fire crackles in the background and illuminates the house.

“Well would ya look at that,” his voice low and husky as he locks his gaze with yours. A goofy grin on your face. “Huh. Guess you gotta kiss me now.”

“Don’t need mistletoe for that, babydoll,” he whispers. The two of you connect your lips with each other’s. Sighing into him, you finally have a moment alone with him today. You card your fingers through his hair, a satisfied groan escapes him.

You pull away breathlessly, both yours and Joel’s eyes heavy and glazed over.

“Ya know… Ellie won’t be back til 9. We’ve got some time left,” you teasingly whisper in his ear while he places a kiss to your neck.

“Lead the way, darlin,” he rasps, the two of you rushing upstairs.

just felt like writing some tooth rotting fluff for my Joely, i love him sm 😔

i hope y’all enjoyed! 🫶🏼 thank you for reading 🩷

tag list: @gracieheartspedro @sapphic-gardn @undrthelights @javierpena-inatacvest @nostalxgic @party-hearses @mandoisapunk @tinygarbage @bastardmandennis @janaispunk @persephone-girl @harriedandharassed @its-nebuleuse

[enris]

CAN I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

synopsis after a year, jake finally earns your father’s blessing. (even if that meant breaking his bank account)

pairing sim jaeyun x f! reader

warnings this is not proofread! i apologize for any mistakes

word count 1.5k+

note first ever official post on tumblr 🥹 and i’m starting it with a slightly long one…bare with me 😔 i hope you enjoy reading, feedback is highly appreciated as i am still kind of new to writing! and of course, if it wasn’t obvious from the title, this is inspired by the song Rude by Magic!

“CAN I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?” you watched as jake asked your father the same question, once again. you’ve already told him countless times to not worry about whether your father accepts him or not, but he just can’t seem to live without getting your father’s blessing. so now he made it his whole life mission to get his blessing.

you were watering your precious plants as you heard your dad rejecting him, again.

“my answer is still no.”

the expression left on your boyfriend’s face was just unbearable to see. it almost looked like he was about to cry any second now.

“dad, what’s so hard about accepting him? can’t you tell he’s a nice guy…” you say, trying to convince him yourself, but nothing was working.

“yn, you are way too young to be getting married right now, you hear me? this is unacceptable behavior. and you, young mister,” your father turned to jake who was already staring at him with puppy eyes, “you are not marrying my daughter, you get it? you have been asking me this same question for the past YEAR and it’s been bothering me ever since then. please, leave immediately.”

“what do you mean i’m too young? dad, i graduate from college in 2 months!” you say, but all you got in return was a head shake. you looked over to jake who shrugged back at you.

“yeah, and who’s the one who refused to dorm in? let alone going overseas, you threw a tantrum because you wanted to stay here for college!” your father argued back after a few moments.

you gasped as jake couldn’t hide his smile, “dad!”

“yn, come on, i wanna take you to this new restaurant that opened up.” jake smiled at you as he held his hand out, signaling for you to hold it.

“eh—? young boy, you better not do anything to my daughter, you hear me!? i’m not giving you my blessing for a reason! and you, young girl, you better be home before dark! i can’t stand it when you try to sneak back into the house at 1am…”

“what? you could hear me?” you ask, suddenly remembering all the times you’ve came back home late at night. i guess all the struggles for staying quiet doesn’t matter anymore.

before you could say anything else, your dad went back inside of the house, leaving you dumbfounded.

“i mean—how could he just say that and leave..?! this whole time i’ve been extra careful to not wake him…but he heard me this whole time?!” you couldn’t believe this whole situation, and turned back to your boyfriend.

“well, at least you don’t need to worry about being loud…?” he nervously smiled at you as you stared at him.

you took a deep breath in, “let’s just go to this restaurant. i’m starving.”

you and jake arrived at the recently opened restaurant and were shocked on how busy it was, despite being new. luckily, you guys got a table pretty fast.

“wow, even their menus are pretty.” you say as you scanned through all the foods that were available.

“yeah, they are.” jake responds, but he wasn’t looking at the menu. his eyes were on you as you were looking at what to order.

“hello! may i start off with your drinks for you today?” a waiter soon came over to your table and pulled out her pen and notepad.

“ah yeah, we’ll just take a water.” you say and watched as she wrote it down.

“awesome! are you guys ready to order?” she continues to ask, and you looked over at jake who nodded with a smile.

“uh, i’ll have this pasta please. what are you gonna order?” you turn to your boyfriend who was still scanning over the menu.

“i’ll take the same as her.” he says and the waiter writes down both of your guys’ orders before collecting the menus.

“alright, i’ll be back with your waters and your food will be our shortly after!”

as the waiter left your guys’ table, jake turned to you, his face more serious than before. but of course, what he said was not serious, at all.

“so, how should i suck up to your father?” he leaned in closer to you as he asked.

“what?” you were taken aback from the sudden question he had asked you, “what do you mean?”

jake’s eyes wandered off a bit as he leaned back into his seat again, “well it’s obvious he doesn’t want me to marry you…so i need to suck up to him, don’t i? what does he like? i need to buy him something don’t i? or do i need to show him im a good person…what do i do?”

“woah woah, calm down…what’s all this rush for? you’re acting like your gonna propose to me as soon as we graduate or something.” you say, and you can see the expression of jake’s face change immediately.

“ahaha, i just wanna make sure your father accepts me!” he chuckled nervously, though you can see the sweat dripping down forehead.

“calm down babe. if you are that desperate to get my father’s blessing then you do have to throw a little money around for him..”

“how much money are we talking? if it’s something expensive like gucci or…” jake paused as he noticed the expression on your face. even though you didn’t say anything, it was almost obvious you were telling him he needed to buy something expensive.

jake cleared his throat as he looked at the specific item, “wow…your father is an expensive guy isn’t he?” he scoffed, his hand covering his mouth out of pure shock.

“his birthday is coming up soon…if you buy this for him im almost completely sure his whole perspective on you would change.” you say, and he almost couldn’t even believe you.

“shit, i really gotta buy this specific rolex for him?”

“yeah, he’s been dying to have this specific one.”

all your boyfriend could do was nod continuously as he stared at the price of the watch.

he clapped his hands together, “all right, i’ll get this for him then!” he says with a forced smile. “my bank account will be crying tonight…” he mumbled before walking away to get a person for help.

you rushed over to him, “hey, you don’t have to do this you know? my fathers blessing surely doesn’t mean that much to you, does it? you can just get his favorite food instead.”

jake turned over to you, “baby. if i get him something expensive, especially if it’s something he’s always wanted, he would definitely give me his blessing. if i don’t have his blessing that means i can’t marry you, and i want you to be by my side forever.”

before you could even say anything else jake planed a soft kiss on your lips before calling over a worker.

“do you think he’ll say yes now?” jake asked you before he head inside of the house.

“i mean i sure hope he would…” you responded.

“how about this; if he doesn’t give me his blessing then i’ll kidnap you and after we graduate college we travel overseas and we can get married there!”

you scoffed, “you’re serious about this aren’t you?”

“of course, my girlfriend WILL become my wife and i’ll make sure of it!”

as soon as you guys were about to head inside of the house, your dad opened the door for you. you were shocked, but definitely not as much as your boyfriend who was beside you.

“everybody is getting ready to eat dinner now, what’s taking you so long?”

“uh—hello! yn’s father..” jake waved nervously at your dad who just stared at him. “happy birthday! i got you a gift.”

“oh? what is this?” your father dug his hand inside of the bag and was met with a rolex box. he gasped as he realized what it was.

“it may not be the right time to ask this question considering the special occasion so i apologize in advance. but, CAN I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, please?”

you were scared looking at your father’s expression and noticed his grip on the rolex tightening. out of impulse you spatted out a few sentences.

“please dad, he’s really a nice guy. he treats me so well and i love him so much, you don’t understand how much i want him to stay in my life. if you don’t give him your blessing then i wi—”

“silly boy, is this your way of sucking up to me? huh? just because you bought me a rolex i’ve been wanting for ages you expect me to give my blessing to you just like that?” you and jake were both shocked at how your father responded.

“dad—”

“it definitely worked.”

jake’s eyes immediately widened, “wait, really?! i have your blessing?”

“i’ve been testing you all along to see how good of a guy you are and you definitely exceeded my expectations. treat my daughter well, sim jaeyun. im lending you my trust and hope you protect yn.”

you couldn’t hide your smile and so couldn’t jake. you guys both hugged each other before he thanked your father.

“thank you! i promise i will keep your daughter safe. as long as she’s with me only good things shall happen to her!”

© enris 2024. please do not copy, translate, or repost

xtra omg i’m sorry if this seemed messy 😭 again i’m new to doing things like these so feedback is appreciated!

[goldensunset]

🌟calamitous-star

🔁 princesslight400

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🌃 ad-astra-purr-aspera ♦️

Hey all! This is your friendly neighborhood reminder that Founder’s Day is coming up on Saturday, and with it, the deadline for the annual required donation to the Master Ephemer Heritage Center. Don’t forget to get everything in order before then! ☺️

🌅 borninthewrongera Follow

how absolutely RICH for a pampered little society-of-the-heirs princess like astra to make a psa about paying your dues. i bet founder’s day is super fun for someone who only has to worry about getting dressed for her public appearance and not the actual financial bullshit the rest of us go through right?

📚 all-academia-is-dark-here

🤍 princesslight400

that person’s entire blog is full of posts romanticizing the keyblade war 💀

#YO??? #also lady astra i am so sorry as well

500 notes

🥀beauty-in-red ♦️

🔁 starlight-and-social-justice Follow

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this post contains filtered tags:

#master ephemer bloodline discourse

🤍 princesslight400

🔁 scala-ad-crylum Follow

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🔐 scala-ad-crylum Follow

so every day on my way home i pass by this one random guy always standing out on his balcony and today i accidentally made eye contact with him 😭

🗝️ ephemerally♦️ Follow

Soooo is he cute? LOL!

🔐 scala-ad-crylum Follow

i mean it’s not like i can really see much of his face cuz he wears this big hat but he does seem kinda hot. or at least in a romantic melancholic solitude way if nothing else. but like i’m not about to ever actually go talk to him

🔐scala-ad-crylum Follow

if this post gets 30k notes i’ll say hi and blow him a kiss

🔐scala-ad-crylum Follow

nonononoNONONO I DIDN’T MEAN IT STOP REBLOGGING THIS

🕵🏻 thevirusofficial Follow

So, this is how I figure out I’m Tumblr famous…

🔐scala-ad-crylum Follow

BALCONY GUY????

#HELPPPP #fish i’m sorry but this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life

30,467 notes

🌊 fountainwaterdrinker-29

remember when, for about a week, they made it so that any random non-heir who paid 800 munny to the site could get a red diamond badge next to their username too? the way all the heirs on here went absolutely BALLISTIC lol

#you had to have been there #i swear we were about a day away from civil war breaking out

1 note

🦋 no-good-usernames-left-5

🔁 imissthechirithies Follow

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⚜️ littledandelion ♦️ Follow

Why do some people act as if being descended from Master Ephemera makes you inherently privileged and prideful? I assure you I see myself as your comrade and equal and share in your struggles and sorrows to the same extent as anyone else. I wish only to befriend you all.

⬜️ verdandi-simp-deactivated10962310

don’t care

✊ starlight-and-social-justice Follow

goodnight sweet prince 😔

#NOOOOOOOO THEY NUKED MY MAN VERDANDI-SIMP #absolute hellsite

5097 notes

[reyreadersblog]

SINCE I SAID I AM ALISA ORTEGA'S BIGGEST DEFENDER @reminiscentreader (no offense at all, obviously, i just couldn't write this whole essay in the comments so i made a post, with explenations ♡)

...in this post i want to specify why, talk about her character and her rights and wrongs.

But first of all SHE ISN'T WHITE! I actually found about this not so long ago, bcs i trusted edits and fanarts😔, besides that her looks aren't really described in books, so it is understandable why many got confused, but yeah she's woc.

So..the main reason i'm her defender is probably bcs i relate to to her character in many ways, and i know what it's like to be in her position.

I feel like she is a misunderstood character. From the very start of the book we're introduced to her as hard-working, strong, independent lawyer, who wants nothing more other than doing her job perfectly and defending Avery. I also feel like her character is a mix of Avery and Grayson, two of my fav characters, which is another reason i love her.

Later on, we find out that Nash is her ex-fiance. Many people have said that she was pretty mean to Libby, and i will not deny this, she was, but i also think this sort of behavour from her should be understandable, bcs, imagne loving A HAWTHORNE, ending relationship with them, struggling with break up but not addmiting it...

It was hard for her, to see Libby having obvious feeling for Nash, it hurt her. And for the record some of you are over exaggerate by saying she was SUPER mean to Libby, all she did was say a few passive-agressive sentences to her, which i also think she did for Libby's own good...? This is just my opinion but i feel like Alisa was trying to warn Libby from possible heartbreak, bcs she obviously went through one, she knows Nash, and she doesn't want anyone else to feel as hurt as she felt.

Another thing...many of the character were so mean to her in the first place and didn't appreciate her, for example Grayson. I understand they might've had that "relationship" with her bcs of her loyalty to T.B.H but honestly what could she do? Drop everything, her job, her life and be like "oh yeah he's a bad man", she knew he was...?! She even told Ave that Tobias Hawthorne was an untrustworthy man.

She is a really good lawyer and a..idk.."mother-figure" to Avery...more like an older sister, but anyway, she cares about Avery and the brothers, she proved her loyalty a lot of times and she deserves some respect.

P.s. everyone is getting a love interest, so i hope Alisa finds love too, cuz she deserves it.

[piko-power]

So, the Knuckles Show...

It was a hassle to attempt and find the show somewhere else (pirate if you wanna watch), and also I had a lot going on that day, BUT!

I have finally finished all six episodes of Knuckles, and my final thoughts...!

...It was pretty good.

Honestly, nothing to ground-breaking and outstanding but it was fantastic and such a lovely treat to hardcore Knuckles fans. Like me lol. (It may not look like it, but TRUST ME THIS SHOW TURNED ME INTO A HARDCORE KNUCKLES FAN.)

All of my thoughts are under the cut, but to make a long story short, I really enjoyed it! (Forgive this post and me I'm not the best at sharing reviews DX)

Now, some things I wanna point out... (MASSIVE SPOILERS AND PERSONAL HEADCANONS AHEAD)

THOUGHTS ON CHARACTERS

I really liked Wade Whipple. He's goofy, and dorky, and he was fantastic for saving his family and Knuckles. His character arc was really interesting to watch, and he's got a lot of funny moments. Him and Knuckles also make a great team. I believe he would make a great Uncle for Knuckles. XD

Knuckles' arc was fantastic too. I was hoping that he realizes that Earth is his home, and he did. The Movie Series version of Knuckles is definitely my favorite version of Knuckles. EVER. Love this character to death. Number one favorite character right now.

The story was pretty good, too. Interesting that Knuckles isn't the only main focus, but I was onboard with the idea that Wade is also in the spotlight. I liked Wade but I love him A LOT.

The whole drama with Wade's family was something that honestly caught me off guard, but in a good way. It's just great to see more of his extended family. (And Wade's mother and is just so sweet and cool.)

Mason and Willoughby were fun to watch. Almost better than Orbot and Cubot, honestly. XD

The Buyer... I kind of forgot about him until the last few episodes. XD Cool villain, though!

Pachacamac... Never thought I would actually enjoy this character. Really wish he got enough screen time, dude is so hilarious. So much better than the Pachacamac we all knew from Adventure 1 pffffft. And hearing Doc Brown's voice coming out of Mac's mouth was the best part. He fits the role perfectly.

WACHOWSKI FAMILY CRUMBS! WE GOT TO SEE MORE OF THE WACHOWSKIS! It was only for one episode, but it's just so refreshing to see Knuckles with his newfound family, especially Tails. (Even though he didn't get enough screentime.)

No Donut Lord... 😔

MY HEADCANONS OF THE EVENTS DURING THE SHOW (and afterwards)

The house is still in construction after the second film. I have a feeling that the Knuckles show took place probably a month or two after the second film. (Or at least after the baseball field scene from the movie.)

And if that's the case, then it's probably why Sonic and Tails haven't called Maddie "mom" yet. Sonic JUST made Donut Dad official, but not hearing Sonic calling Maddie "mom" didn't surprise me, actually. Since he had a mother figure once before, and now she's gone. Sonic is probably still struggling to make Mama Maddie official after that whole mess. 🥺

And also I think Tails does look at Tom and Maddie as his parents, but calls them by their first names because that's what he's most comfortable with for now.

Sonic mentions that Tails and Knuckles are his roommates. ...Something tells me that he hasn't realized the bigger picture yet. 😈 Once the realization hits, it's over for the middle child.

I seriously don't believe Knuckles is sticking with the Whipples. He's got a bed at home, and "pretzel woman" is a motherly title of sorts for Maddie. I just think Knuckles and Wade have formed a really strong bond. Wade is more of a uncle figure for him, but the Whipples are part of the Wachowskis regardless. 💕

I bet Knuckles' grape stash that the moment Knuckles walks back home with Wade, Sonic, Tails and Maddie (and Tom if he came home) freaks the hell out because he just straight up left home without an explanation. Especially since he's grounded and shouldn't have step foot out of the house. But all that matters is that Knuckles is at home with his family. Did this calm everybody down? No, and yes. It's hard to explain. (At least Sonic knows now that Knuckles can finally relax.)

Ever since the events of the Knuckles Show, seeing visions of Pachacamac is pretty normal for Knuckles, whether he needs to be guided for something even if it's small, or he just casually shows up in his dreams just to say "hi." I feel like since he visited Wade while he was unconscious, I think Pachacamac would also visit other people's dreams or visions. It be so goddamn funny if this dude just randomly show up in Sonic's dream, scaring the living daylights out of him, and when he explains it to Knuckles, he's like: "Oh, that's just Mac, he's cool." and Sonic is like: "???????"

THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODES - Fair warning, I've only seen these episodes ONCE (Including some clips I rewatched on Tumblr.) so some things here might be fuzzy or wrong, so bare with me here...

Episode 1 was a great start. I love the dynamic Sonic and Knuckles has. Bummer that we didn't get to see more of them together, but with the power of writing, that problem can be solved! (HUZZAH!) I love the small bit with Knuckles and his mother Maddie after he got grounded and how he just, took it okay with the fact that he's grounded. And I love Sonic trying to help his new buddy out, he's an absolute sweetheart for that. Pachacamac's appearance in the episode took me by surprise and he was such a joy to watch. Love the elderly goofball. Seeing Knuckles and Wade interact was nice, too, even when he gets to talk about his dad. It was a nice moment. And Knuckolas Cage. Best nickname ever, how dare Knuckles decline such a title for a perfect warrior XD

Episode 2 was great. Absolutely love the daydream scene with Wade's plan on saving Knuckles from the G.U.N. agents, and Holding Out For a Hero playing in the background. GOLDEN. Don't remember much else other than that and Knuckles and Wade rocking out to so music. (And Knuckles breaking the radio again.)

Episode 3 is when we get to see Wade's family members, and it was nice. Wanda is one of those siblings that we had and Wendy (is that her name?) is just so lovely. We got to know more of Knuckles' dad, and once more, it was a tender moment between an Echidna and a dork-ass Uncle. 😊 And we got a EPIC fight scene with Knuckles, Wendy and the goons. It was AWESOME. Also, love Wade's room. He's got good taste.

Episode 4... Oh, my God. It was a fever dream. Literally. It was so RIDICULOUS but it was the greatest thing I've ever seen in a long time. XD I love musical numbers that just come out of NOWHERE, and this was one of them! Adam Pally (Wade) in a Knuckles costume is just the most elegant thing. AND ECHIDNA MUPPETS ARE REAL! I WAS HOPING THAT THEY WOULD ACTUALLY BRING IN THE ECHIDNA MUPPET!! Jokes aside, it was a strangely epic episode of Wade going through Knuckles' past in a unique way. And the songs were pretty great. ...You think that's where all the budgeting went? On this gorgeous musical number? /j Also we got more of my boy Pachacamac, being one of my favorite characters besides Knuckles lmao GOD I wish we got more of Pachacamac. I love him so much XD

Episode 5 Is when they arrive at Reno. It was alright. We got to see Wade meeting his dad finally (also Knuckles is using a phone no problem I guess??) I think that's all I remember. WE GOT KNUCKLES WITH THE HAT THOUGH SO YEAH!

Episode 6 is the last one of the mini series and it was pretty kick-ass. More cool fight scenes, with Knuckles and the Agents, him against the Buyer, which was short and sweet, but still pretty intense. Wade and Pete was competing in bowling. Kept forgetting about that, but it was cool regardless. And Wade being the best uncle ever and protecting Knuckles while he was out. Also kind of forgot a lot from this episode, but nonetheless, badass way to end the mini series. Complete with the classic freeze frame of Knuckles and Wade getting a high five! Knuckles realizing that his home is on Earth was such a powerful scene. It was the first Sonic movie all over again.

And yes, there was a pretty quick post credits scene where Knuckles found a song and claimed it was his jam. It was really cute. XD

Really wish there was a scene where Knuckles came back home to the Wachowskis with the family flipping the lid over the fact that he left the house, but in my heart I know damn well it happened. I know this series too well lmao

That's pretty much all I wanna say about how this show made me feel. It was a fun time. Not was insane as Movie 1 and 2, but still as enjoyable.

Honestly, after watching this, I hope we get a Wachowski family TV show, where it's just the family on misadventures, and moments together that are comedic, fluffy, angst, any emotion you wanna feel watching it, and it's just a good time. I just wanna see more of this goofy little growing family. (Also it'd be cool if season 1 was after the first movie because I wanna see Sonic adjusting to his new life with Tom and Maddie and spending traditions and holidays with them before the sequel.) I love this series too much. 😅

This show got me really ambitious to work on my stories and I really wanna show the community how amazing these characters are. (I just need to get an AO3 in the future...)

It feels good to be back on the Wachowski bandwagon.

The Knuckles Show is flawed, but it was a fun time. I love the characters, I love the story, I love the choice of songs they used, and of course, I love Knuckles. This is the best we've ever seen of Knuckles, and I'm proud of how far this little, tough guy has came.

The Echidna Warrior made his debut 30 years ago, and he's never been stronger. Keep on punching, Knuckles! 😎💕

[intertexts]

Hi here to ask nhw quastion again :3 ik ashe and the wards have Problems once ashe gets detrickstered because theyre all triggering each other and dying horribly and messily and its miserable but ! microphone emoji. do you have thoughts about how that would work specifically between virion and ashe

- @suckinitup

(also ik i havent rbed the other thing yet so yee the suck tag works for now akdhskdh i am Between Internet Names atm. and ofc i chose a url thats hard to nickname 😔)

HI!! GOD. YEAH MAN. YEAH I FUCKING DO. literally their dynamic post trickster is something i think about so much. awesome question to ask me. augh. okay. bullet pointing this for now bcos i'm on my phone....

>post-muse ashe & virion have a shared understanding of both.... enacting & witnessing close violence? in a way that nobody else really does. dakota and wibby have been through some fucked up shit!!! they have seen and been victim of and done some incredibly awful things. of course they have. they still don't understand it on as personal a level as virion does-- virion, hiding and watching his family die one by one, virion, killing capes with their own powers. (whenever i think abt virion's stint as a vigilante i think abt taylor saying it's more personal to kill a cape with her power than with a gun. perhaps it's even more personal to kill a cape with their own powers.) the intimacy of violence & the feeling of being nothing except a vessel for it & not being really sure who or what you even are anymore is something that. ashe struggles so much with, & virion Gets. he isn't, like... sympathetic? they're not wailing and crying and virion isn't pitying him. he's just... easier to talk to, sometimes. he isn't.... loudly emotional. he gets it.

>virion also is very quiet and always moves deliberately and with intention. he is like..... as opposite the trickster as possible, in terms of physicality. this-- ashe is triggered easily. wibby's eternal taut vibrating anxious energy, dakota's quick movements n loudness & such... the body language there is. similar, sometimes. it's bad when he catches it out of the corner of his eye, or feels it behind him. virion is absolutely nothing like the trickster. it's calming just being around him. (well. when you're someone he likes.) & being able to relax that constant tension that ashe still has. leading into:

>ashe doesn't touch his hair for weeks, months, maybe, after he gets back. because of. obvious reasons. (i don't remember if an actual post got made abt it but we came to the conclusion that while the trickster loves styling ashe's hair & playing with it like doll hair he does Not have the commitment or attention span for taking care of long hair. frequently he makes him do that part himself. drops his control every so often & throws him a brush & is like. clean it. ashe getting jerked back to awareness sitting very very very scared and alone and small and brushing dried blood and meat out of his hair & braiding it with shaking fingers knowing that he's only lucid as long as it takes to do this. every time it happens he's in a different place and wearing something different.) so like.... when he gets back. he has a really hard time taking care of his own hair. and also obviously a very hard time letting anyone else touch it. it gets tangled and matted and greasy & he's ashamed of it & can't do anything about it & can't bring himself to cut it off and lose one more thing that brought him joy to the trickster. it's virion who eventually helps him with it. it takes so long-- both of them sitting fully dressed in the shower for hours, ashe trying so hard not to shake apart virion going through most of a bottle of conditioner to carefully tease the knots out. virion who doesn't like talking a lot and is always quiet trying to keep up a soft running one-sided conversation the whole time so ashe knows who's behind him. (they tried mirrors and mirrors didn't go well. the trickster had a lot of mirrors.) u know. it doesn't get done in a day or even a couple weeks & sometimes virion accidentally brushes the shell of an ear or the base of his neck in a way that sets off bad sensory memory & they have to take a panicking badly break.

>re: their Problems specifically. another reason why they click like this post-muse is because. virion isn't worried about him hurting him. he and ashe are on a level playing field, when it comes to powers. like, obviously he doesn't. think. anything would happen. & ashe absolutely refuses to use his power anyway. but there's an equality there that lets ashe breathe a little easier too. and muse never hurt imprint the way that he did will or dakota. so virion's hangups when it comes to ashe are 1. he fucking Looks Like Muse. even though his body language is different and he looks like a different person with his hair back down in loose black layers & he doesn't have those orange threads around him. virion sol most paranoid guy alive. he tenses seeing him out of the corner of his eye sometimes & wakes up to see the silver mess of his hair spilling out from under the covers (u know ashe sleeps 100% under the blankets. how is he breathing under there.) & has to breath slowly for a couple minutes and watch the rise and fall of the ashe blanket lump's breath and run through every scenario in which this is muse under the comforter and not ashe and why and how it's incredibly unlikely that this would be muse etc. 2. he is afraid that. ashe/muse will hurt william and dakota. it's irrational. he's spent the past year afraid that muse will hurt william and dakota. he's paralyzed sometimes because he thinks if i leave the room and i leave will and ashe alone in there i'll come back and he'll be dead. & then also especially in the first couple months back there were. a handful of instances when virion was startled and caught off guard and ashe is up against the wall with an arm across his throat or caught in a lock before either of them realize. & it is bad for Both of them because holy shit ashe is panicking and frozen and not breathing at being manhandled like that and he's going to blame himself for this so badly in an hour because obviously it's his fault and he should have known better and of course he's a threat to them. & of course virion has to drop the grip and run away and lock himself in the bathroom out of horror because holy shit he almost just hurt ashe he almost just killed him. he would have killed him. (he wouldn't have.) he hurt him.etc etc. etc.

>ashe knows how v thinks abt him sometimes & understands it & it doesn't make him feel Very miserable because he does get it.but it makes him a little miserable sometimes. but virion's still the one who bumps their hands together so he can copy his power and float the remote over. before the trickster, ashe used to play games on his switch on the couch & virion would sit on the couch back and watch him (v hasn't really played games since his trigger event. all the ones he used to like are covered in the Ooze now.) & it would be their weird quiet bonding thing. and now virion's the one who sits near ashe on the couch and starts up animal crossing & ashe watches him play. (it takes a while for him to get his fine motor control back. he's shaky.)

>givingthis one its own bullet point because it's important post-muse ashe has a really fucking big mental block w/ using his power. he's terrified to he refuses to he Will Not. he doesn't want to hurt anyone again. virion keeps stealing his power & using it for the same shit he always uses (mundane daily little tasks) in a very pointed look. see? it's not inherently evil. it's okay. i'm not feeling threatened by what u can do right now. see? way.

[spiderin-space]

So does Leviathan only really dislike Baphomet because of the latter's change of faith, or is there something else brewing under the surface?

Also what made Baphomet so happy to swap faiths when they did?

I hope your ready for an Essay on these two’s relationship because I think about their tragedy A Lot

(Under read more in case it gets too long)

So I’ll answer the second question first, and funnily enough I actually have a short comic I did a while ago (but never posted) kinda explaining it!!

So for a long time Baphomet’s family worshipped The Fanatic to the point they were some of their most devout followers, never missing a single sermon, always sacrificing what they could to their god; for they always believed that, no matter how much they lost, it will all come back to them in the end and they will be handsomely rewarded whenever their faith was finally recognized by the deity they so loved.

However, The Fanatic viewed their followers as nothing more than vessels for power and devotion; as long as they kept worshipping the serpent, they didn’t particularly care to reward or elevate them in any way, even when they gave up everything in The Fanatic’s name.

However, that didn’t mean their followers still couldn’t be useful… in particular, they figured that thanks to their blind devotion, Baphomet would be especially gullible and easy to take advantage of: specifically by fitting them with a Demonic Necklace, possessing them with a demon, and ordering it to go kill The Bishops (though it would surely cost Baphomet their life in the process).

Of course Shamura is able to free them from the demon’s influence before they can cause any real damage (but not before they get seriously injured), and they’re left with a feeling of betrayal and loss, as the deity they venerated and adored with all of their heart and soul ‘rewarded’ them by sending them to their death in a futile attempt to settle a petty score.

They didn’t want to worship The Fanatic any more of course, but these lands are dangerous without a cult to call home… and that’s when Narinder came along, visiting them in the Healing Bay as they recovered from their possession, giving them gifts and making polite conversation; something The Fanatic wouldn’t dream of doing to a lowly follower.

Being shown even the smallest amount of kindness and basic decency was enough to convince them to switch sides; Finally seen and loved by a god who saw them as more than just a pawn in a divine chess game, it really was an easy decision to convert to Narinder’s faith, especially when they were awarded the role of disciple 😩

AND NOW to answer the first part!!

After The Fanatic dies (along with the remaining gods, leaving just The Bishops), their cult did not follow them; in fact, it was kept alive by Baphomet’s former family who stayed behind, with each heir becoming the new leader until finally Leviathan came along 😩

He was taught to hate The Bishops (and Narinder specifically, believing he delivered the killing blow to The Fanatic) because they got to live while their god didn’t, their cults thrived while his own struggled rebuild; but Baphomet is a unique case, coming with some… complex feelings towards them.

While he does hate them for abandoning The Fanatic, he also believes that they were manipulated by Narinder in order to follow him, despite the fact they left their old cult out of their own free will; his family had reinforced the story for countless generations, and so he can’t help but feel pity when he finally meets them in the flesh and invites them home. After all, Leviathan and Baphomet are kin… shouldn’t they want to return to their true family? He feels a strong (FAMILIAL) love towards them, emotions which are complicated by the dead god he devoted his life to. He wants to redeem them so badly, viewing them as worthy of forgiveness for the sin of worshipping Death; but alas, you can’t convert an unwilling soul 😔 their refusal becoming just another reason to despise them.

But ultimately, Leviathan views them much the same way The Fanatic did; as a pawn to be used to settle a score, seeing as how they’re one of the few things he can use to get his revenge against Narinder. And he succeeds, causing great pain to the god of death by killing his beloved disciple in front of him, even though he loses his own life in the process.

But, what’s a life lost in this great game of gods and heretics? In the end, he gets what he (and The Fanatic for that matter) always strove towards, as the death of Baphomet eventually led to Narinder’s rebellion against The Bishops, and the dissolution of the Old Faith all together 😩

[ofallthingsnasty]

oh no Im into feederism and those lines of crocodile is making me go FGHRDTJDGRFHRTHD especially if its forced feederism 🤤

It will be in my mind 24/7 since I love crocodile so much and THIS is just perfect,,,

references this post

Not going to lie "But, I suppose there's no harm in fattening you up some more first" was the reason I had to share the screenshots on here... Excuse me, Sir? Could you be any more on the nose? Jeez 😵‍💫 I'm not really into feederism but weight gain can be really cute when done gently/with condescension. I love the humiliation aspect of it; the thought of being bare and naked and insecure underneath that steely gaze like in this post... And Crocodile just hits the spot 😔

tw.weight gain (a bit of wg based humiliation), yandere, fat + fem reader, had to answer this on mobile because our connection is busted again, sorry

For me, it's just the whole package, you know? That big, serious man who organized a whole crime syndicate to topple a country and get his hand on an ancient weapon, who says he's never trusted anyone, who was mocking the people of Alabasta from the very start - that same man deserves something nice and soft and sweet, don't you think? He loves his luxuries, big and small and in-between, and you are just that; an indulgence, something soft to come home to. He doesn't need to trust you if you aren't allowed to leave, if you are his well kept little secret, a little basement wife - because you'll never get out, anyway. It's entirely selfish and it makes him a bit vulnerable, yes, but that man thinks he can't fail. His ego is somewhere up among the stars, and he's arrogant enough to twist your predicament around into something else entirely - that you should be grateful you get to live such a lavish life, that he has done you nothing but favors. He's mean. He's cold. And he's cruel. But he also takes a certain pride in your care - from clothes to accessories, from the entertainment he provides you with to the food you eat. It's all curated, all crafted to suit you and flatter him, to mold you into something he can enjoy even more.

And seeing you gain weight? Makes his heart sing in a way that's even darker, even more possessive.

It means you're thriving in his hands, makes your lap softer and gives him more to touch, defile and mark. And it's an opportunity. It's cute how you fluster and shake when you finally gather the courage to tell him your clothes don't fit anymore and it's even cuter when he has you try them on for him and gets to see your mortification at having to undress and squeeze and struggle in front of him, under his steely gaze. After all, those clothes were expensive - and carefully picked out, too - so let him see if what you're saying is true. He gets to take the whole show in, gets to humiliate you subtly while you're reminded of who holds the reins in this fucked up excuse of a relationship. Forget about the injustice of this and think about how you want your captor to like you or else you'll be turned into gator food. He's not going to tell you that he loves the way you've filled out, how he can rest his head on a heavier chest and lap - he holds the cards in this moment and they'll have you on your best behavior.

It's about humiliation and keeping you small and about making you feel like he needs to like you. It's a game, one with a purpose; to make you more pliant, eager and more dependent than you already are. That man has layers and he can play his tricks like few others can - and he'll make sure you'll never truly glean the extent of his intentions. And affections.

[evannhansensletters]

I’ve officially turned 20 today. And not to mention September is also Suicide prevention awareness month.

Looking back on all these past miserable years; telling myself it’s going to get better. Well, it isn’t. It’s going to stay the safe. There’s nothing else to change that. Life sucks. It’s only purpose is that it end, I’m hoping for that day to come soon. I’m not going to change either. I’ll still be the same weird loser who sits alone. The one who still gets tormented. The one who’s name nobody cares to know. Life is only a struggle, a desperate, empty, meaningless struggle. All of one’s energy is spent on living with the hope that it will be better, knowing that it only will to be for an instant, until it inevitably sinks back to a worse state. Even those brief moments. That flicker of happiness or joy, are only illusions, a false sense, that in the end leaves nothing behind but disappointment and a sense of failure. It is not a life, it is a hopeless, eternal suffering. Every step forward, every effort of making something better, is useless, for it only leads back onto the same old path, back to the same place where the struggle begins again, where one is trapped in an endless cycle of hoping for something better, until they realize that this is all there is. A hopeless existence, with no way out.

Whenever I feel this way, I’ll rethink of all my past memories. That either haunt me or comfort me. Whichever way it goes, I’m never going to have that flicker of innocence. I’m full of sin and dishonor. So today, I’m spending my entire 20th birthday inside a church. Praying on my knees to change and become the human everyone wants of me. Give me back my purity. Why do I have to be so disgusting and repulsive. I want everything I’ve lost back. If I pray hard enough, maybe I’ll change my sexuality. My thought, my mentality, my physic, my, well, everything. Im a walking sin for liking my own gender. I think I deserve to rot for that.

I’m 20 now, but I can’t fully wrap my head around it. I was just 17 yesterday. Lying to everyone’s faces. This isn’t a cry for help, because I’m tired of that. No amount of medication, therapy, mental health awareness, or people can change that. I am me and I hate that fact. I won’t bother trying to attempt, judging by how I’ve failed twice. But this post wasn’t meant to for pity and sympathy. It’s just what I’ve wanted to say for a long time.

Hello,, OOC here!!!

This is probably the worst thing I’ve ever written. Hope this doesn’t make others cry.

No, this isn’t evans last post so don’t worry about that chat😔😔💔

[villainessprefect]

Idia w/ a fem or gn s/o who’s cater’s introverted best friend (and they both share a love for spicy ramen lol) pls?

sorry for the late fic!! this came out shorter than the rest rip but I hope you still enjoy! I am unfortunately not a fan of anything spicy so I struggle here 😔 shout out to those who can handle the burning fires of hell in their mouth cuz I can't-

~

title: #a quick pic

summary: You and Idia enjoy ramen together, but first you have to send a pic to Cater.

ship: Idia x gn!reader

word count: 725

Read on AO3

Carefully, you hold your phone at just the right angle. Capturing the freshness of this steaming bowl of ramen without fogging your phone's camera proves to be more difficult than you imagined. You don't know how Cater does this without any effort. With a quick snap, he's done! Meanwhile, it feels like it takes you a whole minute to get a decent picture.

But you do. Or at least you think you do. You're still learning about the whole aesthetic about taking pictures from your best friend. Content with your pic, you set your phone down. A sigh from across the table captures your attention.

"I still don't get the point of taking pictures of food," Idia comments. Chopsticks are digging into his own bowl, mixing the broth to ensure the flavor will be in every bite. "It's not like it's any different from the last one we had. The bowls aren't even from a limited time event. It's such a normie thing to do."

"It's for Cater," you answer. Part of you agrees with him, you still didn't quite understand this whole trend. But another part of you is. Having something to look back to, something you can remember even if its just a picture is nice. "This is his favorite food, you know." And coincidentally, yours too.

You take this moment to post the image of your meal on your Magicam account. It's a barren post that lacks any description or hashtags, just a simple image so you wouldn't pop up in the search results. Regardless of your anonymity, a like instantly finds its way to your post within seconds.

"It's just food," Idia huffs. "Though, I guess it is pretty cool since you did make it..."

And he can't complain how they taste ten times better than a regular cup of noodles. This was the ultra rare edition! Not only made with fresh ingredients, but with gentle love and care. Anime always claimed food made by loved ones taste better and he understands why now. He doesn't linger on the thought for too long, but his hair gives him away.

"He's rubbing off on you."

"He is my bestie," you answer with a chuckle. "Don't worry, you're not in the picture if that's what you're worried about."

"I-I'm not!" He pouts before stabbing at his noodles, hitting nothing and resulting in broth jumping up. He decides to shut up and eat his food before anything else can escape him.

You flash him a small smile, watching as he dines on your meal. Unlike you, he opted for a more basic flavor. It lacked the spicy kick you loved, but you understood not everyone could handle the intense flavor. It was almost funny to consider that your boyfriend's hair was literally fire yet couldn't handle the same level of flames for food.

At least he's enjoying your ramen. That's all that matters to you.

Before eating, you decide to make a quick jump into your DMs with Cater. You send him a different picture, a recent one. It still contains the ramen you made, but that's not the focus. Rather, the one this picture captures is Idia. Noodles in perfect unison hang from his lips, captured as he slurps them up. It's cute in your eyes. Getting pictures of him with permission is always a struggle, whether it be you trying to bring it up or getting one where neither of you are flustered.

'Is this a good pic?'

'100%! so authentic u should post that one and tag him

#datenight #bestnoodlesinthehouse'

'you know I cant do that'

'wah!

date pics get you sooo many likes but i totes get it

keep sending me ur cute pics later

enjoy ur datesies bestie!'

"Your food is going to get cold."

"Ah!" The comment drags you out of the conversation with Cater and back to reality. You hadn't forgotten about it, just caught up in the conversation. With that out of the way, you dig into your meal.

It's hot. Both in freshness and flavor. The heat from the bowl fills your senses as you hover over it and the fiery burn from the sauces cover your tongue. The burning sensation leaves you hungry for more. It's a shame you can't share a spicy love with Idia, but at least your bestie could understand it.

[every-single-day]

ok my list of brody things i love

His voice omg genuinely calming should come with warnings of addiction

he's so cute uh what nothing

the lil tongue thing when hes happy/excited/whatever (EXCEPT THE ONE CLIP THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED)

even with his limited like social media presence he feels very real, like hes just a guy in his midtwenties whos extremely goofy and the epitome of a golden retriever who just happens to be starring in a musical on broadway that won best musical and the role he was nominated for best actor in a musical for

in interviews his just like honesty and vunerability of just being like yeah i've struggled with xyz, and just hes so funny in interviews

again him just being goofy and very much so seems like hes being himself and not changing who he is to fit in with others

that he decided to post the pic of him with cats that one of his teachers made for him thats so ahh i love it

the video of him saying "i'm ponyboy curtis with that sodapop swagger" which yes yes he is

i've been lucky enough to see the show (i got to see him AT A MATINEE)(yes im gonna brag about that for a sec) (sadly he didnt do stagedoor but its ok bc yeah he had another show to do) but he was INCREDIBLE like i've seen a decent amount of shows whether professional or not but a performance has never affected me as much as this did before

his hands that one pic from one of the photo shoots he's done with the rings omg

how well his voice sounds with emma's and with sky's

just him

ok yes that completes my list, i have loved reading everyone elses

You ate with every single point I fear

The matinee flex???? You must be one of God’s favorites 😔✊

The hands pic is still my lockscreen he’s too powerful

[the-invisible-queer]

Stream of consciousness highlights from my notes app:

Death of Watcher:

Are Steven, Shane, and Ryan really leaving YouTube??

"I hope you follow us one last time." WHERE WE GOING BESTIE?!?!?!? I'M POOR BUT I'LL SUPPORT ON SOCIALS

Nevermind 😔

AT LEAST if it was on another streaming service I'd be more supportive. But at this point just turn memberships on. Patreon. Something like Mythical Society.

ANYTHING would have been better than this choice

The fact that I can't go on Tumblr and mourn Watcher is TRAGIC

So I'll mourn alone 😭

Random:

The amount of times I've opened Tumblr but I'm logged out so I can't do shit

I miss y'all and it's only been like 4hrs

Me, watching a TikTok of a very pretty man with dark curly hair and pretty eyes who sings nice: wow Joe really fucked me up for life, huh?

The biggest plot twist is if I end up having more photos of Nick than Joe. DOUBTFUL. But not impossible.

Looking forward to logging into Tumblr and seeing if I got any notifs on my main blog. Unlikely. I do hope for a Joe fit elimination update. Hope dickgate 2033 won.

Joe Rambling:

The fact that Joe posted those selfies but I can't be horny on the main because the main is IG which has become a puritan society

BUT I AM FERAL AS FUCK

JOE WITH THE BANDANA PLEASE FUCK ME

We're gonna get a full cowboy Joe era. I am predicting it at 4:08am on April 20th, 2024

"Man, he do got a big ass forehead. BUT I LOVE IT. My man and his five-head. 🥰" - ME about Joe

Can't wait to scream about Joe's fruity little bandana moment

The struggle of so badly wanting to both fuck him and make fun of him over the bandana is STRONG

Decided to make a Joe edit to be somewhat productive. Spent an hour on it. Left the app to respond to a message. Came back. The app deleted the fucking work. 😐

Gotta go spend another hour staring at Joe's chest hair again I guess which is like not the worst thing ya know 👀

I literally don't understand why his chest hair makes me feral but I find it actually disgusting on anyone else

Making fun of Nick:

The fact that I've yet to make fun of Nick for the way his head moves when he sings is a missed opportunity

Okay, Mr. Bobblehead

Me and Josh having an important discussion:

Rest in RIP to Josh's best friend who had to listen to me and Josh argue about Joe having a big dick or not

It's been 20min and Josh brought up Joe's dick again. What is going on? His best friend is still on the call.

Why did Josh out me as "having a picture of Nick Jonas' dick" on my phone 😭 ITS NOT A DICK PIC ITS AN UNDERWEAR PIC THAT LEAVES NOTHING TO THE IMAGINATION

[eternadreeblissa]

I have nothing much to post abt (bcs everything else is top secret 😔) but have these beta concept designs for Ava. It's hard to be a Zelda newbie struggling to find aesthetics that'll have Ava blend in Hyrule but communicates traveller, hint of fairy, and docile/tired looking otherworlder🫠

A little dive into my thoughts for the designs under the cut!

In the first pic, my inspiration for it were these

(I had many others but they won't fit here for me to see without blocking Ava in the process 😔)

Anyway Ava's story was a little interesting during this time: I originally had her meet Marin in Wars' era (how is this gal still a dream when she exists THERE. I went and ran with it) when she got isekaid. Hence all the armor (bcs of war), the seashells (bcs Marin and beaches), then the hint of sorceress vibes with the fabrics and all that, creating this mystic feel around her.

But she came off as a Warrior Priestess. And while that's interesting for Ava, that's not exactly how her story goes.

The second picture, was an outfit or so that Ava wore before she got sent to Hyrule. But I lost ideas on how to continue this one 🧍‍♀️

Now, truth be told I still don't have a design for Ava in Hyrule I'm satisfied with 😭 probs bcs I can't do simple at all my mind just likes to keep adding stuff that makes things stand out. And often times ends up making the design more: bold, dramatique, extraordinary kinda vibes. But they can go noisy as well (too much of little things). Simplicity is still smth I'm practicing with..

Also, Ava's story has changed for some time now and I'm telling you it's become such a roller coaster. Idk if you'll be as wowed and thrilled as I am but I've been confident enough to feel it's potential. I can't wait to share it with y'all when I find a way to tell y'all everything 😭😭😭

Hope you enjoy the crumbs <33

[septembersghost]

i almost feel like i should pin the long response i wrote about this the other day because it's still the most i could say, except i don't want any of this at the top of my blog. 🤦🏻‍♀️ but my sweet besties, i am pretty much at the breaking point in dealing with this, not because i don't care or that i don't think it's valid to continue to call it out, i do and it is. but i'm at the point where i DREAD coming on here, every day i feel like my heart is being torn open seeing how upset people rightfully are, i don't know how we'll ever get our sense of warm community back, i don't know where to go from here with someone i love so much and who has been part of my life for so long and whose art has been not only a source of happiness/comfort/light, but a literal lifeline saving me from harm on more than one occasion (i know i'm a broken record too because i've already said all this).

even the inaction of not being able to post her is strangely agonizing, like a hole blasted through my blog (i have probably hundreds of edits drafted/queued, forget the posts in my likes, and i'm sifting them around like tarot cards i don't know how to read), and i never imagined i'd feel disconnected again like i did in 2014/15, except worse because it's accompanied by literal bigotry and such significant pain throughout the fandom (and the anon I got about my previous disconnect like two weeks ago, i still have that message, so much happened that i ended up too emotional to answer it and i apologize, i'll still try to eventually 😔). i loathe that man and hate that he's stolen joy from us and hate that he's gotten one second of attention and that any of this is happening. i just want to feel okay again. i selfishly wish we could just have our excitement back.

i've said as much as i possibly can and i feel like we've hit an impasse where there's nothing else to accomplish unless the situation dramatically changes. i'm sorry so many of us are hurt, i'm sorry this has been such a struggle and so triggering, i'm sorry there's not more i can do except to hear you and tell you that you're important and seen and you belong here no matter what and i care about you, and send you any love i can.

[lovecolibri]

Being upset is so valid, I know it’s just a show but WHATEVER, you should allow yourself to feel what you feel! And you should also be allowed to have opinions and share them on your blog lmao I’ll be honest, I have several friends irl who watch 911 and ship buddie and we aallll cannot stand this show anymore lmao and it’s very liberating to be able to speak your mind. Sadly fandom, especially Tumblr for some reason, seems to be hellbent on making passive aggressive comments on people who don’t like what they like? I totally agree with you, if people enjoy it good for them, I’m not gonna make posts about how you have to be stupid to like it cause I don’t think that’s the case?? We are just looking for different things in a show and that’s okay! However I am a blocking machine cause I don’t see the point in reading takes that are so different from mine 😂 but it is very frustrating that any negative comment needs to be censured or you become the devil and also you are not capable of understanding long form of media and also you should stop watching the show hskshdk I have stopped watching the show and I still like to check what happened and I still like to complain, what can you do about it 😂 anyway I hope you’re okay, and take care of yourself! I remember when Roswell made me soooo mad and I had to deal with it alone and it sucked 😔 and you don’t have to publish this if you don’t want to, I don’t mean to create drama or anything, just wanted to be supportive 😂

Hey, thanks Nonnie! I think for a lot of people (I'm for sure one of them, yay neurodivergency), when you find something that's a source of serotonin, it can be QUITE the crash when it stops, and no matter how low your expectations, if you struggle with emotional regulation, the rollercoaster can be rough. Curating your experience is a MUST, and knowing how to manage when your brain tries to get the best of you is also a must! Sometimes that means commiserating with others who are also unhappy (NOT going into the inboxes of people who clearly disagree with you. stop that), sometimes it means logging off and doing something else, sometimes it means reading or writing fic or making content that makes you happy about the thing, sometimes it means not looking at ANYTHING about the thing. At the end of the day, we're all just trying to do what works for us.

As a survivor of RNM, I thought I could handle this but I think RNM got SO bad SO fast that it was always a lot of "here are 3 good things that people will make AMAZING fics/metas/content about and 85 things you will need to ignore or you will start seething with rage". Where as 911 was so consistent for so long that watching it struggle so hard (across the board, not just with Buddie, though that seems to get the brunt of it on the "nearly unwatchable" scale whereas other stuff is more "meh. they could have done this better") has been really rough because there is already so much love for the show built up and we have SEEN what it can be when it's at it's very best. And disliking certain arcs or story choices doesn't necessarily mean throwing the whole show out! There are LOTS of things I love about this show, and I'm not at the point for me where I'm ready to let the show go and I've never really understood the "don't like, don't watch" attitude every time anyone brings up a single complaint. It seems very "you HAVE to love every single thing and choice or you can't watch the show" when most people have things they both like and dislike about pretty much everything! It's okay to not like every single choice! (though if you legit find nothing to enjoy about a thing then it's maybe not for you and that's okay!)

Thanks for checking in! I have a lot of other stuff going on right now so it's very much like "why is this the thing we are focusing on, brain? Why are we allowing ourselves to feel like this? It's a show??" but hey! Sometimes our brains do whatever TF they want and we just gotta manage as best we can. At on the bright side, tumblr has filters! You can block tags! You can block content within posts! this will let you remove certain stuff from your experience without necessarily having to unfollow people. BUT! You can also unfollow people! You can block people! Make your experience what you want! And learn what works FOR YOU to manage your disappointment. Some people are "gotta get the anger out to let it go" people, and some are "gotta find the positive spin" people and some are both or neither. Find what works. Do that. Don't be dicks in people's inboxes, and don't drag the cast/crew into the drama on public sm platforms, they don't plan out the storylines.