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l1tw1ck · 1 year ago

Note

Please write more of the toy. PLEASE -🥚

Toy (2)

dom!bottom!ftm oc x sub!top!masc reader

wellll since you asked sooo nicely and im in the mood to write some sexy dominating men,,, | AFAB Language Used

CW: Non-Con, Dark Content

Debt Free

CW: Non-Con, Pet Play (Sort of) (puppy pet name, mention of collar and leash)

You were given the opportunity to clear your debt by dating your goddamned debt collector. He fell for you and basically ruined your life, he made you fall deeper and deeper into debt just so he could make you desperate enough to accept his offer. Now you're in his bedroom, wearing a studded collar and a leash. He likes treating you like an obedient dog and making you do things for him knowing you're not allowed to deny him. He could kill you if he wanted to.

He sits comfortably on your face, treating it like a special throne. He arches his back, shivering as he feels your tongue exploring his soft walls. "Mm...just like that, puppy~" He moans. "You've gotten better- uh~!" He gasps as your tongue finds his g-spot. He throws his head back, crying out shamelessly in pleasure as you eat him out. You're not the biggest fan of him but you can't deny the wonderful taste of his pussy and the pretty moans that come out of his mouth. "Yes- yes-" He breathes out.

"Fu- fuck~!" He squirts. "Mmh- such a good puppy.." He grinds down on your face before getting up.

ok i got lazy sorry

How to Please a Man

CW: Stepcest, Manipulation

this was lowkey difficult to write bc i have no idea how to finger someone 😭😭😭 im an autistic asexual virgin who absolutely hates masturbating with my fingers bc sticky so if anything is off ... thats why

You decided to ask your step father for relationship advice. You're a virgin and you're very nervous about asking out your crush. He was eager to give you advice and even offered to teach you some things.

"I bet you don't even know how to kiss." He climbs onto your lap. "Let me teach you." He doesn't wait for an answer and forces you into a kiss. You try to push him away but he's too strong. He grinds down on your crotch, determined to fuck you.

He finally pulls away from the kiss. "Relax, most guys don't like inexperience. I'll make sure you know what you're doing with him." He stands up and grabs your hand, pulling you into his bedroom and bringing you onto the bed with him. He manages to shimmy his shorts and boxers off, exposing his wet cunt to you. "Don't be scared, try and do what you think would feel good."

You swallow the lump in your throat. He's probably right. Your crush would appreciate it if you knew what you were doing. And this probably doesn't mean anything to him. He's just helping you out. Although you're unaware of your crush's anatomy, this'll probably be helpful for any future endeavors too. You look at his t-dick and hold it with your thumb and index finger, gently sliding it up and down. "Is...is that good?"

"Yeah, so good.." He moans. Jerking his dick is the easiest way to get him off thanks to how sensitive is. "But, you shouldn't rely on just that to please m- him."

"Oh- okay." You slide your finger down his cunt, eyeing him for a reaction. You slowly push your finger inside him, your breathing turns shallow as you take in the feeling of his warmth. You didn't know it felt like this. So warm, so plush, and so fucking wet. God. You feel weird for thinking this way about your step father but dear Lord, his pussy feels amazing. You slide in another finger and fumble around in his insides.

"Try finding my g-spot. You'll know when you find it."

You search around for it, earning a soft gasp from him when you find it. You poke it with the pads of your fingers, effectively pleasing him. You get the smart idea of sucking his dick while doing this.

"Fuck- good boy~" He throws his head back. "That's it. Keep going.."

You find yourself getting turned on by the sound of his moans and his praise. This is so wrong but oh so fucking good.

You keep going until he squirts, making a mess of the bed. You pull your mouth off his dick and lick up his slick before pulling away.

"Do you wanna learn more?" He looks at you with a lopsided smile. You nod eagerly, no longer worried about the morality of this.

part two for the second part if i remember lololol

#wicks🕯shorts #top male reader #male reader #sub male reader #dark content #dom character #oc x male reader #male reader smut #ftm character #afab character #tw noncon #tw stepcest

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illdowhatiwantthanks · 8 months ago

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Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Casey Novak x autistic fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. Graphic sex, oral, fingering, language, homophobia, homophobic slurs. Word count: 2,443 "Onions and relish!?" you observed, watching Casey scoop condiments onto a ballpark hot dog. Your face screwed up. "Gross."

"I've got highbrow taste," Casey retorted, glancing at yours. "And you shouldn't talk. Ketchup and mustard? Are you five?"

"It's a classic," you argued, both pushing your way through the crowded line of Yankees fans waiting for their own ballpark snacks.

You returned to your seats, up in the nosebleeds along with a scattering of other die-hard baseball fans, the humming of a summertime crowd and the buzzing of the lights wrapping around you like a blanket. You heard the crack of a bat, and both you and Casey froze, watching the field.

"Yes!" you yelled, pumping your fist in the air as your team–the Cardinals–drove in another run. "Fuckin' Redbirds!"

Normally, you'd be a lot more self-conscious about drawing attention to yourself in a crowd like this–almost exclusively Yankees fans, including your girlfriend. When the Yankees weren't playing the Cardinals, you wore some of Casey's Yankees gear and cheered them on with her. But the Cardinals? They'd been your family's team for generations. You'd grown up on Pujols and Molina and Wainwright, and you were nothing if not loyal. But in this crowd, you stood out amongst the black-and-white like a red thumb. Casey had looked embarrassed, and you'd worried for a moment that she really was bothered by your vocal support of the away team.

"Am I embarrassing you?" you'd asked.

"Yes."

"In a bad way?"

Casey looked at you and smiled at your serious expression. "No, honey. Like, embarrassing but it's endearing. Does that make sense?"

You thought about it for a moment. "I think so. You would tell me if I was bad embarrassing?"

"I would," she confirmed, patting your hand.

It was one of your favorite things about Casey that she was so patient when you misread or didn't understand social cues. She never made fun of you. She always explained, and she always reassured you when you were afraid you'd done something wrong.

But this time it was definitely Casey who had done something wrong. You watched her shove a bite of hot dog into her mouth, beautifully messy, as always when she wasn't at work.

"Your whole mouth is gonna taste like pickles for the rest of the night," you muttered, taking a bite of your own hot dog.

She looked at you, smirking. "And why are you so concerned about my mouth, huh?"

You blushed. "No reason..."

"Mmhm." She took another bite, smug, then grasped your chin, pulling you to her for a kiss. Her lips were salty with sweat, and she smelled like the ballpark dust and the leather of her glove. She was intoxicating, but then you always felt lightheaded when Casey kissed you. Something about the stadium lights and the summer heat just made you that much more dazed.

"That's fuckin' hot," you heard someone say behind you. You shrank and glanced back, Casey's hand squeezing yours protectively. Two men, unshaven, with beers to go with their beer bellies, leered at you from the row behind.

"Nobody asked you, asshole," Casey shot back, flipping him off. You avoided eye contact with them, trying to make yourself smaller. Having grown up in the south, you'd been in enough unsafe situations because of your sexuality that your go-to defense was to ignore and hide. Casey's was not. She was tall and strong, and she'd grown up with absolute confidence in who and what she was.

Your nostrils flared in disgust as one of the men licked his lips, raking his eyes up and down Casey's body.

"What's a hot piece like you doing with a dyke? You oughta let a real man take you for a spin."

Casey stood and pushed him–hard. The man reeled, sloshing his beer all over his front. "You better shut your fucking mouth or I'll shut it for you," she growled.

The man's arm shot out, grabbing Casey by the back of her head. He dug his fingers into her hair to pull her closer. "That's okay, honey," he said. "I like 'em feisty."

Any fear you had dissipated into white hot anger as you watched, as if in slow motion. You, however, were not stuck in slow motion. Without thinking, you lunged forward, grabbed the man's wrist, and wrenched it back until he squealed. You shoved Casey behind you.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" you spat, puffing yourself up as you stood between him and your girlfriend. Which, considering your diminutive height, probably didn't do a whole lot to deter him.

Your teeth clenched and your whole body buzzed with rage. It took a lot to make you angry, but you were spitting angry now. All you knew was that no one–no one–was going touch Casey on your watch.

The man laughed, knocking your cap off your head with a swipe of his finger. "And what are you gonna do about it, Tiny Tim? Or should I say Tiny Tina?"

Without warning and, for once, without considering the consequences, you slammed your first into his groin as hard as you could which, considering you played softball, was pretty damn hard. It was a perk of your height that you were at the optimal angle to punch someone in the dick.

The man doubled over, coughing, and spilled the rest of his beer. "Fuckin' dykes," he muttered. He motioned to his friend, cupping his balls, and they sidled off. Probably looking for another section to harass women in.

You let out a shaky breath and turned to face Casey, your heart beating rapidly as the adrenaline faded and the nerves returned.

"Are you okay?" you asked, frantically looking her over, placing a gentle hand at the back of her head where the man had grabbed her.

You hardly noticed Casey watching you, biting her lip. You were too concerned with making sure she was safe and unharmed. As you rambled, checking her hands and neck and hair and face for any signs of hurt, Casey stared.

Finally, she interrupted you. "Y/N."

You stopped and made yourself meet her eyes.

"I think we should go." She looked at you pointedly.

You face fell. "Oh, love. I'm so sorry. We can go home if it'll make you feel better."

"No, that's not why."

A look of confusion crossed your face.

"We should go home because we have things to do."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "I don't understand what you're saying, Casey."

She stepped closer, placing your hat back on your head and her arms on your shoulders. Her expression was self-satisfied as she leaned in, so close you could feel her breath, and whispered into your ear.

"Y/N," she breathed. "I need to do things. To you. Now."

"Oh," you said, the realization hitting you. "Oh my god. Okay."

You started gathering your things, then stopped and glanced at her. "From this? Really?"

"Y/N," she said, cheeks already flushed. "Don't make me wait. I'm gonna have a hard enough time making it home."

You tried to hide the mixture of shock and excitement on your face as you left the stadium, walking by the now abandoned concession stands and into the quiet parking lot.

"What's the alternative?" you asked her as you climbed into the driver's seat.

"What?"

"To making it home. You said you were gonna have a hard time making it home. But, like, where else would we–"

You were cut off by Casey's lips on yours, her breath hot and desperate as she grabbed your collar. She slid her tongue into your mouth, her teeth clacking against yours as she surged toward you, pushing for more.

When you separated, you both breathed heavily. Casey's face was flushed with lust. "If it were up to me," she said, leaning back in the seat. "I would've fucked you in the ballpark bathroom. I'd take you right here in the car. But I know that's not your style, so for the love of god..." Her eyes bored into you. "Drive."

Usually a slow driver, you made it back to Casey's apartment in record time. And, true to her word, Casey did have a hard time making it to the apartment, stopping at every chance she got–stoplights, outside the car door, in the elevator, the hallway–to kiss your neck, your mouth, undoing buttons of your Cardinals jersey as you went. Her hands slipped inside your shirt whenever you stopped for so much as a second.

When she finally got you into her bedroom, she was ravenous, tugging your clothes off and tossing them to the side with a singular focus. Her eyes were glazed and her face red as she struggled with your bra clasps.

"Fucking hell," she muttered, her fingers fumbling.

"Jesus, Casey," you said, reaching back to do them for her. "Calm down."

She groaned, letting her eyes rove over your now nude body, pushing you gently but forcefully on your back. She pecked you on the lips, then took your bottom lip between her teeth. You gasped, filled with both pain and pleasure. When she let you go, she was grinning.

"I'm gonna make you feel so..." She kissed your neck. "Fucking." Your collarbone. "Good." She lowered herself over you and pressed her mouth into yours, breathing you in, letting her tongue roam freely.

You moaned, arching your back. "Don't hold back on me now," she growled, leaving bite marks down your neck and across your chest. Usually quiet, you gave yourself permission to make some noise. After all, it drove Casey crazy.

"Fuck, Casey," you whined as she swirled her tongue across your nipples, first one and then the other, her hands pressing just above your hips. You writhed into her, squirming for more, your center already sopping wet.

"Tell me what you want," Casey said, trailing her tongue from your chest down to your stomach.

You struggled against her hands, pressing you into the bed. "Come on," you complained, nearly begging.

"Tell me," Casey said again, more forcefully, her fingers grazing over your clit.

You saw stars. "Fuck me."

Casey chuckled, her low voice vibrating against your already swollen clit. "That's my girl."

You gasped as she sucked your clit between her lips, swishing her tongue back and forth, back and forth. Her arms pinned your thighs in place, holding your writhing body tight. You heaved and moaned as you pushed Casey's head into your center. Her hair was soft and damp with sweat under your fingers, and you felt desperate for her as you chased your high.

She waited until you were nearly bursting, your breath hitching and your back arched against her, then pulled quickly away, wiping her mouth.

You gasped frantically. "What the fuck, Casey!?"

"Shh," she commanded, crawling back up your body and grabbing your chin. She straddled your hips, her own soaked center resting over yours.

"Casey, please," you begged, your eyes fluttering shut, the need of her flooding you.

"Don't close your eyes, honey. Look at me."

You huffed but opened your eyes, staring defiantly into hers, green and hungry and lustful.

She held your face still with one hand, then crept back down your body with the other. You let out a moan, squirming.

"Now arch your back for me," she said, the heel of her palm pressing hard into your clit.

Your body nearly exploded with the sensation, and you thrust into her with everything you had. You grabbed at Casey, pulling her into you, elated to know that she was using you, too, unable to put off her own pleasure any longer.

Your breath came faster and faster, your body jerking into Casey as Casey thrust toward you. You watched each other, both on the brink of losing control. Casey moaned, shutting her eyes briefly before squeezing your chin and staring at you.

"Now," she said.

And that one word was all it took. Your body shook against Casey's, your hips riding into her again and again, desperate for the friction as you moaned. She did the same, her nails digging into the skin at the top of your throat as she rode out her own orgasm. It felt like the two of you were hurtling across space, starbursts and supernovas and whole galaxies flashing inside you as you held onto one another. You quivered against her as the fireworks dissipated, spent and sweaty and heaving.

Casey grinned and planted kisses across your collarbone, counting. "One. Two. Three..."

You laughed and groaned. "Casey," you protested.

She'd discovered early on that, if she timed it right, she could make you come indefinitely. The only thing that stopped her was you getting overstimulated.

"Twenty-two," she finished and, once again, pressed the heel of her hand into your clit, harder and harder until she had you ready again, your hands grasping the bedsheets.

Your orgasm washed over you again, like a wave this time, pouring over you from head to toe.

Casey started in again, this time with her lips at the back of your knees. "One. Two..."

By the fifth round, you were nearly delirious, and Casey was salivating.

"Casey," you groaned, your body still pressing into her hand, almost against your will. "It's too much."

"Come on, sweetheart," she said, kissing you roughly. "Give me one more."

She continued grinding her hand into you, meshing her lips with yours, her tongue roving. Your breath caught and you moaned into her mouth, your orgasm taking you over one final, quaking time.

Casey cradled your head in the crook of her arm as you continued to shake, finally letting you relax.

"Thank you," she whispered, peppering your face with kisses.

You scrunched your nose. "For what? Letting you beat your record?"

"Well, that, too." She chuckled, deep and throaty, then brushed your sweaty bangs out of your face. "For protecting me. From that asshole."

You turned to her and tucked her hair behind her ear, running your thumb across her eyebrow.

"I would die before I let someone hurt you." Your voice was so quiet that, had anyone else been in the room, even they wouldn't have been able to hear. But you did. And Casey did.

She looked at you for a moment, then leaned down and kissed your forehead, hard and purposeful.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

You lost yourself in her arms for a bit as she ran a hand absentmindedly through your hair.

"We should go to more baseball games," Casey mused after a while.

You laughed. "Only if there's no relish involved."

"Deal."

#casey novak #casey novak x reader #casey novak one shot #casey novak drabble #casey novak smut #law and order svu #svu #neurodivergent #autistic #casey novak x autistic reader #x autistic reader #casey novak fanfic

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cluepoke-archive · 1 year ago

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Actually just curious :]

SYNESTHESIA is characterized as a 'cross wiring' of senses in your brain

for example

tasting words

Numbers and letters having personalities

and having a consistent link between colors and numbers/letters etc. This can be fully visual (seeing aura simmialr to migrains when hearing noises) or internal (imagining bright colors or shape/ number associations to things in your 'minds eye')

Diffrent days of the week having a strong color connection

Alternatively days of the week and calender months having a specific mental layout or 'shape' and days of the week and month having a specific place om this mental map that shifts depending on where you are in time, simmilar to a clock or time table

I'm also curious on how this effects you so you can leave that in the reblogs if your comfortable!

For me personally my synesthesia effects my writing because I'll often mix up letters and numbers ( I write down 4 alot instead of G and vice versa, I also mix up 4 and 7 because they 'look' the same, I'm wondering if this is some sort of dyscalculia though, the same thing happens with A and 8)

#dustbunnies.txt #polls #synesthesia #autism #actually autistic #adhd #you guys can do your own research #but personally i have grapheme color synesthesia and music/color/shape association. idk what that about lol #off the top of my head

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punkeropercyjackson · 3 months ago

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Unpopular Percy Jackson opinions/takes

He IS afrolatino-coded but very much specifically monoracial and darkskin with super strong features.He looks exactly like Poseidon so lightskin biracial Percy dosen't make sense and is a copout and realistically a whitepassing/lighter black person wouldn't get treated as bad he does in the mortal world with the privilege we have from our mixed heritage

He's objectively the most autistic character in the entire franchise in characterization,storylines,dynamics and even character concept-Yes,obviously the protagonist of the neurodivergent abuse victims book series is autistic,y'all wildin' for that allistic Percy shit.He SCREAMS audhd,y'all just hate non-stereotypical autistics and like pretending he isn't one of us so you can make it look like he was victimizing your faves(Jason/Nico shippers:Please go outside)

She's transfem and there's as much evidence for that as the above two and the only reason it dosen't get aknowledged is Pjo fans hate women so they don't want Percy to be one.Won't even let her be a male femme either even though she's canonically feminine presenting with a hate for masculinity both on herself and others and that's very typical tbh.I see her as either a binary trans woman or bigender for projection as a multigender transmasc myself

Percabeth is absolute ass and Annabeth was the worst possible choice for a love interest for him.She's abusive to him by definition i.e nonstop insulting him even after he protests against it multiple times and says he dosen't like it and she's admitted it's on purpose and hitting him often and you can't call 'demigods so it's fine' because she explicitly would never let him hit back and his feelings on her are so mixed i just want him to be free of Situationshiper Girl.The way she literally forced herself into his life by being creepy as shit in TLT and a significant amount of other moments later on too like the SOM stalking dosen't help and neither does her entitlement fueled harrasment of Rachel when Percy never asked Annabeth out and good on him,she can't even flirt and then acts like he's the dumb one for not picking up on her Gone Girl attempt at rizz

Perachel was the closest thing Percy had to a well-written romance and the reason it's hated is that it's an autistic4autistic best friends to lovers dynamic so the immediate reaction is hostility and the removal of Percy's attraction to Rachel he stated was fueld by her being Annabeth's opposite to twist it into the reverse by allistics who're hurt by the truth Percy would rather date an actual autistic girl than the Athena nepotism baby and fight on the fight or flight response to the posibility that maybe friends bullying eachother isn't a universal experience but an allistic one

Luke and him aren't two sides of the coin they're not even the same currency.Luke is in fact Percy's opposite and foil but in the sense he's a very sheltered cishet white man who's a fascist,a serial child groomer and a racist misogynistic pedophile that went on one bad quest and pussy'd out because a taste of the real world was too much for his spoiled self and Percy grew up in the real world,knowing every harsh reality of demigodhood head-on and came out an authentic radicalist thanks to the addition of his blackness,autism and transgenderism/gendernoncormity.Also Percy never had a crush on him and if you think he did,follow your white pedoincest loving bretheren Jason/Nico shippers and remember you were never offered bisexual Percy and that transfem Percy subtext solos it by a landslide

Her,Nico and Hazel are platonic soulmates by choice in every universe and the Dead Sea Siblings are the best relathionship in the Percyverse.She was misderected attraction on Nico's side as he got over her romantically after realizing she's not the ideal man he thought she was and Hazel is as much her world as she is Nico's and Percy is basically their pseudo-parent textually and raised them more and better than Hades and Pluto did and deserves way more credit for it.The Nico and Percy Tlo-Hoo jump retcon was one of the worst writing decisions Rick ever made and Hazel should've been positioned as equally important in their trio intentionally instead of accidentally and her and Percy are tied for the strongest demigod fullstop(like Dad,like Daughter)

He's not grunge or a skater boy,he's beyond afrosolarpunk vibes and it fits him perfectly as the son of Poseidon and a queen who raised him in the ways of the sea because she's loved it her whole life and not for his dad,he's naturally deeply caring about enviormentalism and drawn to nature based aesthetics and lifestyles.Grunge skater boy Percy is highkey gross because it always strips him of his canon completely subulturally accurate punkness and i do headcanon he skateboards but he's not punk because of it lmao,he's punk because he's a dark strong afro-dominicano New Yorker who's an anarchist,an activist,a professional instigator,anti-capitalist,an intersectionalist,has a VERY,VERY strong sense of community and solidarity and is implied to listen to punk music

He's not a nonthreatning lovable screw up who's can't actually be intimidating or take care of himself,he's a hardcore jaded asshole with emotional regulation and self-eestem issues but also a tender and loving Team Parent who's goofiness and kiddy interests are no masking game audhd swag.That's canon but Annabeth can never shut the fuck up instead of backing her white ass up

Also canon Percy is wayyyyy more hot in a Guy Way™️ if that makes sense than Seaweed Brain uwu.My type is cocky ahh yet sweetheart punk black men,what can i say

And the kiddy interests thing is not him being a manchild but a special interest in kidcore and his other ones are blue,video games,cats,the sea,energy drinks,anarchy,child care and the Superfam.He complimented Jason by saying he looks like Superman because he's a Clark Kent stan and wished he was real as a kid so he could've adopted him

His type isn't blondes,it's princess-y black women.'Names have power'and he was named after the man who was happily married to the princess of Ethopia,he described Annabeth's hair as 'curled like a princess' and Leah is the only Annabeth who has something close to chemistry with Percy(still dosen't though,hence 'something close')and Rachel is popularly headcanoned as nigerian yoruba and fits the princesscore personality requirements.Percy's girlfriend/wife should be the Andrómeda to his Perseo

^Relatedly,afrolatino Percy wouldn't be named Perseus because it's too weirdly pronounced in spanish.Perseo Isadore Jackson is Percy's fullname

Calling him stupid or oblivious or insulting his intellegence or emotional capability in any way is ableist.Are you autistic?No?Great,then your opinion on this topic not just when it comes to Percy but when it comes to neurodivergence and how intellect is treated in regards to it is less than worthless.Be quiet normie

He's Mcr-coded and would introduce Nico to it,not the reverse.Also he's literally Mike Milligram

And not Taylor Swift-coded at all.I'm not sorry but he hates her ass so bad like fundamentally he would

He shouldn't repair his relathionship with Poseidon but cut him out of life completely.Poseidon too premordial to be actin' like that over his image to the point of neglecting his own damn child he doomed to lifetimes worth of trauma,all over a crush on a 19 year old when he's mentally in his fucking 40s

He SHOULD revolutionize the greco-roman mythos world but actually,not fuck gods and become a sellout.Kickstarter is him killing Zeus in a fit of rage and that sparks something in their realm that leads to him fixing the system with the help of the lower class beings like him,with Nico and Hazel at his side

He dosen't care for dolphins-He stans sharks

He's not like D.anny Fenton,Peter Parker or Stiles Stilinski.He IS like Virgil Hawkins,Hobie Brown and Scott Mccall

Those Harry Potter comparisons weren't just innacurate,they were entierly baseless.Hp's not even offbrand british Pjo,it's just a bad book series with nothing in common with it all even without Harry vs Percy(Percy would use Harry to get his blue laces btw)

Leo,Piper and Drew have far more interesting potential dynamics with him than any white boy character does and he'd like them better on the basis of not being white boys too

Beckendorf isn't comparable to what Luke was to Percy and that's an insult to Luke.Comparing a black dude to the white supremacist who got him killed is just racist and only caring about that black dude to use him as a background prop for a trauma misandrist young adult transfem's nonexistent boyobsession is VIOLENTLY racist(yes,even as a replacement,please actually care about Beckendorf)

Her Titan's Curse quest was an accidental egg metaphor,not the Hunters of Artemis being 'r.adfem-y',especially since it's canon they're transfem inclusive

Her Disney Princess kinnie and favorite ocean kids media is Brandy's Cinderella and Spongebob Squarepants,not Ariel and Nemo

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 1 year ago

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Autistic Sensory Differences

What are they?

Autistic people experience the sensory world very differently from non-Autistic people. One Autistic person might be hyper-sensitive to certain sensory experiences, and do whatever to avoid them, whereas another might be hypo-sensitive and crave heavy sensory input (or both/a mix). Sensory differences include the main 5 senses:

Sight

Sound

Touch

Smell

Taste

addition to 3 lesser-known senses:

Interception

Movement

Balance

SIGHT: A person might struggle with intense eye contact, bright lights, a chaotic mix of colours or a lack of visuals for support. Another might seek out loud colours, lots of lighting or certain visuals (e.g. shiny things).

What might help:

Sunglasses to block out light

Reducing eye contact

Using visual prompts such as labels/lists

Using calm/dim/ mood lighting

SOUND: A person might struggle with loud/sudden noises, overlapping voices, certain pitches or a lack of noise. Another might seek out loud music, repetitive sounds/words/songs or white noise.

What might help:

Using subtitles for videos when the audio is too overwhelming

Wearing headphones to reduce noise/utilise music for comfort

Using ear plugs to lower background volume

TOUCH: A person might struggle with rough surfaces and textures, the feeling of dirt or unclean skin, clothes labels or human contact (e.g. hugs, handshakes etc.).

Another might seek out objects to squeeze, fabrics to feel or people to embrace.

What might help:

Setting a boundary to not be touched without consent

Removing fabrics and materials from your environment that you dislike

Find clothes with stamped labels rather than ones with external tags

SMELL: A person might struggle with strong or pungent smells, odours that are too overwhelming for them, or just too many different smells at once. Another might seek out powerful smells or like to overload themselves on favourite scents.

What might help:

Keep to hand something that smells nice to you to counter any bad smells

Use unscented products

Use candles, diffusers or air fresheners to surround yourself with comforting smells

TASTE: A person might struggle with different textures in food (e.g. soft with crunchy), certain flavours or unfamiliar foods. Another might seek out hot/spicy/sour foods or chewy/stimmy foods.

What might help:

Providing familiar/safe foods at meals

Don't force trying new foods if not interested

Be aware of clashing textures

INTERCEPTION (processing info about physical needs on and inside the body):

A person might struggle with recognising physical needs (e.g. going to the toilet, feeling unwell, needing to eat/drink) whilst another might feel them intensely.

What might help:

Creating routines/alarms/reminders for fulfilling bodily needs

Be well prepared/equipped to fulfil needs e.g. taking water with you to places

Fulfilling bodily needs earlier to avoid pains of thirst, hunger, full bladder etc.

MOUEMENT (Proprioception): A person might struggle with an overly aware sense of body positioning, becoming tired easily from movement or disliking tight clothes. Another might seek out physical activity (running, climbing etc.), have less awareness of personal space and have a need to fidget/cannot remain still.

What might help:

Use of deep-pressure products like weighted blankets

Keeping active through slower movements, e.g. walking instead of running

BALANCE (Vestibular): A person might struggle with sensitivities to balance and spatial orientation if moving too fast or have difficulties with motion sickness.

Another might struggle with not moving at all or seek out movements such as dancing and swinging around.

What might help:

Using trampolines, rollercoasters, rocking chairs to meet vestibular needs

Physical support such as with stairs to help control balance with steps

Autisticality

Autism

Sensory Processing

#autism #actually autistic #sensory processing sensitivity #sensory differences #autism and sensory issues #remember to take care of yourself #feel free to reblog/share if you’d like #Autisticality (Facebook)#tw bright colors #tw eye strain

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cherrybombfangirl · 7 months ago

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I see Autistic/ADHD Lloyd headcanons all the time, but none for his parents which is weird because both ADHD and Autism are genetic. So lets fix that, and during Autism Awareness month no less, yay, #RedInstead bitches!

Autistic Garmadon and ADHD Misako Headcanons (for Autism Month!)

Misako hate is not welcome, we don't do that here, you will be blocked. Autistic Misako headcanons are welcome, I love you if you have that headcanon :). I'm autistic and adhd, so a lot of these will be based on my experience, and I'll try to keep it mostly fluff headcanons, featuring a little bit of Lloyd's autism and adhd <3

Autistic Garmadon

He and Lloyd share a lot of the same autistic traits

Like how if you distrupt the routine or there's a change in established plans both of them will start getting anxious and irritated

You don't distrupt the routine! Stick to the schedule damn it-

Or how both of them CANNOT stand bright lights, never turn on the overhead light, lamps and low lights only. and only predictable/controlled loud noises like music is ok, other loud noises bad

Also they both auditory stim ALL the time. Same song on repeat for days until the new favorite comes along, and they have the same taste in music (rock and punk), so while working on stuff or training one on one they'll blast the same song on repeat

Also both of them are hyperempathetic and get emotional very easily. Hence why they're a lot more emotional and open around each other

Also the Pathological Demand Avoidance is VERY STRONG with both of them. tell them to do something and they'll immediately dread and despite that thing and that thing is the last thing they want to do. (i.e. *is about to go do the dishes* "Hey can you do the dishes?" ... "I was about to. Even wanted to. Now I hate them and that's the last thing I want to do. Thanks for that. Fuck you.")

Both of them also have a very hard time unmasking (for different but similar reasons of how their childhood was), and get exhausted and burnt out fast. Luckily being around each other helps them unmask a bit easier

Garmadon loves Mac-n-Cheese, he'd eat just that for the rest of his life if he could. But only Misako's recipe, all other Mac-n-Cheese tastes WRONG (Lloyd also loves Mac-n-Cheese, but only his mom's recipe)

Sometimes he straight up forgets to talk. Like, he doesn't need to, he doesn't like talking to people, and he just... forgets that he has the ability to talk. So sometimes he might go a while without talking, thinking nothing of it. Then he'll vocal stim or use his voice and shock himself a little because oh shit i forgot i have a voice-

He hid it for a while because he thought it was embarrassing, but he has a huge special interest in sharks, and he is the number one shark defender, he could talk about them for hours (his favorite species is the Lemon Shark and Cookiecutter Shark <3).

^After he starts unmasking a bit he starting being a bit more open about it as well, and that year for his birthday Misako gets him a shark onsie. He just about melts, immediately puts it on, and wears it almost every night. (She thinks its adorable)

For a really long time, he thought the things he was experiencing were a side effect of being part dragon/oni, but then Wu told him "I don't experience any of that, sorry." and then he thought it was a side effect of the venom, but then after the Final Battle it was gone AND HE WAS STILL EXPERIENCING ALL THESE TRAITS, so he couldn't figure out wtf was wrong with him

^Misako was like "Idk sounds normal to me *shrug*" (She has ADHD, of course it sounds normal to her XD)

Lloyd knew he was autistic and adhd for a while because of the other ninja, who were also varying neurodivergencies. When he told his parents about it, they both didn't think anything of it because they didn't know it was genetic yet.

Then Garmadon found out it was genetic and was like "No... me? No way... I'm just an anxious introvert, there's no way."

Then he takes like ten different online assessment tests, and is like "Yeah, i knew it, i knew i wasn't autistic, those questions were worded dumb anyway. No I don't have a problem with socks, you see I have a system-"

And then Lloyd (who connected the dots once he found out autism was genetic) was like, "Dad... Dad... that- that is autistic... having a system for socks to avoid having problems with socks, avoiding places with loud noises and bright lights, and prefering to be by yourself or in silence is very autistic..."

Garmadon: "WHAT"

They figured out how to unmask and fuction as their authentic selves together and it's awesome

ADHD Misako

Similarly, she and Lloyd share a lot of ADHD traits

Like fidgeting, A LOT, always needing extra stimulation and needing to fidget. Usually with nail biting or lip chewing, until they learn less self destructive stims

They also hyperfixate in the same way. Both of them will get lost in the hyperfixation for hours, forgetting to eat, drink or sleep. until they try to stand up or someone reminds them. (Lloyd hyperfixates on comics the same way she hyperfixates on archeology)

Both of them have the worst sense of time and object perception. ("Oh yeah that project will only take fifteen minutes" *takes four hours*) (*losing track of important items and forgetting to eat ro drink water all the time*)

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is very strong for both of them, constantly worrying about annoying other people and being a burden, so they're people pleasers a lot and the slightest whiff of rejection sends them into a self hate spiral that can last for days or weeks (It took a very long time for her to get out of the self hate spiral after her and Lloyd meeting for the first time and him blowing up at her, which she thought she deserved for her huge mistake that she deeply regretted. Eventually they talked and Lloyd came to her and said she shouldn't hate herself forever, he wanted her to be his mom, and she could make up for it now. She still gets into that spiral sometimes.)

Also both of them zone out a lot. Sometimes many thoughts. Sometimes zero thoughts. Staring into space (they love car rides for this reason)

Both of them can be very all or nothing in a lot of things. No social interaction or all the social interaction. Doesn't talk at all or can't shut up. Constantly overshooting it.

Also due to the lack of object perception, both of them are kind of terrible at driving. They can't tell how far away the signs are until they're right in front of it, and are always taking turns that are way too big. Over or underestimating distance a lot. (Garmadon is a pretty terrible driver too, he gets overwhelmed easily). (Also Kai and Nya can confirm that teaching Lloyd to drive was a nightmare, Zane had to do it)

Always hyperfixating on something archeology/history related, she's a huge nerd and cycles through ten different topics (she was a weird kid that liked the morbid stuff in history). Usually dinosaurs, she's secretly obsessed with dinosaurs and hyperfixates on them all over again every other week. A lot of the time Garmadon has to remind her to eat or sleep because she'll be lost in hyperfixation for several hours.

Also has a lot of anxiety and has a hard time sitting still, always has to be moving or fidgeting with something in her hands

Similar to Garmadon, she didn't think anything of it when Lloyd told her he had ADHD, and when she found out it was genetic she thought, "No, it couldn't be me, I just have anxiety..."

She was in denial about it for a while, until Lloyd talked to her with Kai and Jay (Also ADHDers).

Kai asked, "Your teachers sent a lot of notes home about you being 'a pleasure to have in class' weren't you?"

Misako: "How the fuck did you know?"

Kai: "That was me before I had to drop out. I was the perfect little teacher's pet. So was Nya."

Misako sat there for a minute having a crisis because everything made sense now but also like no way, really?

She and Garmadon love talking about prehistoric sharks like the Megladon because that's where their interests intersect

^he also gets her dinosaur encyclopedias every year for her birthday and she loves it (they have diagrams of skeletons and fossils and stuff)

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kaitsuusuu41 · 6 months ago

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Pairing: scaramouche x gn!reader

Word count: 0.6+

Warnings:| oral fixation(reader has it), stimming?(can be taken as such), sucking on fingers, reader is stated to have sensory issues, reader is said to go into a sort of little headspace(bare with me people 🥲), modern au!

//This is based off a weird roleplay I was doing with ai last year don’t question it//

You always hated things for the way they felt, or the way they sounded, smelt, or even tasted, and if you're feeling extra sensitive the way things looked. Scaramouche’s hands though, no matter what he did they were always soft, like the porcelain of woods just always soft and smooth. Life was always hard with your oral fixation, never having something to suck or bite on, not having something cold or spicy enough. To avoid you being overstimulated or anything like it scaramouche bought things you said usually helps with it, so; lollipops, suckable candies, strong mints, just about anything spicy you liked and extra ice traps to keep stocked up with ice if ever needed.

But you just replaced the ice trays, your eating your last lollipop and you ran out of any other candies you could even possibly have same with the spicy foods and you didn’t want to tell scaramouche because he’s your boyfriend and you know him, well more like your scared of him reacting how your patents did yell at you for eating up everything for no real reason. So now you’re sitting next to him, burnt out and needing to stim but once more having nothing to stim with. You leaned on your boyfriend who was hunched over reading a book. He could tell by your sigh something was wrong to he gently patted and played with your hair before asking

“What’s wrong dove?” You exhaled long after his question before finally speaking up, “I need to stim but I’m out of everything..” he sat up, genuinely shocked “really..?” You once more burnt out, too understimulated to care you nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me I could’ve bought you more in advance..” “..whenever I told my parents they’d get mad..” scaramouche was a little offended and hurt by this, “dove I’m not your fucking parents” he said with his usually snappy tone. “Why are you yelling at me? okay, I’m sorry..” he sighed now realizing you're understimulated. He got an idea but y’all haven’t tried it before, but he doesn’t have any spare change as he needs it to help save up for a car so he can get to and from work easier. “Dove, I have an idea okay?”

You almost perked up, “hm?” He offered his fingers, the two middle ones pressed together while his pointer and pinky finger were outstretched. “Here suck on my fingers..” you blushed a bit, more so out of embarrassment than anything due to this catching you so off guard, and you’ve never sucked on anyone’s fingers. You stampered to get your response out so he rolled his eyes and sighed. “Just suck.. I don’t care.. do what you need to to feel better..” you blinked before taking his two middle fingers in your mouth and starting to suck on them. The sanded wood of his fingers made it so that they were just right for you and your texture sensitivity. From this point on he just continued reading, almost as if you weren’t sucking on his fingers as a means to stim. After a few minutes you laid on his lap and continued your autistic behavior and your boyfriend didn’t mind at all, once every few minutes he’d kiss your head and continue wherever he left off before he finally asked.

“You okay little dove” you were in a smaller headspace due to feeling safe, and due to work you haven’t done it in who knows how long. It did take scaramouche a minute but when he realized he kept quiet and let you do you, it’s not often you get to do this for yourself. You soon fell asleep and once he was done and you stopped sucking on his fingers he eased you into y’all’s shared bed and tucked you in before joining you, kissing your head and cuddling you.

#scara x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #wanderer fluff #scaramouche fluff #genshin impact x you #genshin impact #genshin x gn reader #gn reader #autism #stimming

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weeb-polls-with-pip · 10 months ago

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Autistic Anime Boys Prelims - Propaganda Division - Group 9

Propaganda:

Shinpei -

"Has a tendency to ignore his emotions in high stress situations in favor of looking at everything logically, even when it is detrimental for him to take that approach. Keeps meticulous track of everything that happens around him."

Sunny -

"Sunny has been told that his face is not expressive. He doesn't talk a lot and he often gets lost into his imagination. He is a great listener and recalls a lot of information being told he has a great memory (he is able to remember a whole speech about flower symbolism that his friend told him) He is compared to a cat."

Yuki -

"He has difficulty communicating with other people and suffers from extreme social anxiety, feeling like he's drowning when placed in uncomfortable social situations or scenarios where she doesn't know how to respond. This also causes him to go red in the face and clench his jaw, which other characters wrongfully interpret as him becoming angry. Through meeting Haru (and getting pulled into his plan to save the world), he becomes friends with him and Natsuki and develops his own strong interest in fishing."

Meursault -

"not only is he based on the character from camus' l'étranger who has actual scholarly debate on him being autistic, meursault is just… so autism. hes this stoic, terse guy with resting bitch face who doesnt really seem to fully process that he isnt showing any emotions and that that offputs people, and hes very blunt and literal with things. once another character asked if he had metal for brains as an insult and he responded by telling him the exact chemical composition of his brain to show that it is not metal. once the other characters made food so bad that when he tasted it he went on a minute straight long monologue about how much it sucked. he then proceeded to cook his own food which the giant evil chicken monster man that was judging the food tasted and said was so intensely done to the letter of the recipe that it was too boring. hes like if autism was a guy and that guy was french."

Zack -

"does things based almost solely on whether or not he wants to, at one point in the series, he doesn't tell the rest of the cast that he can fly a spaceship because he doesn't feel like it. he also take everything everyone else tells him seriously, such as when another character he knew as a kid said they were going to get married one day, he took it very seriously and was confused when said character tried to confess her feelings again and he said he thought their promise from when they were kids was still on."

Joujirou -

"This boy is autism incarnate. No social skills, no normal pain perception, complete weirdo. He even has a special interest which becomes a mild issue when he joins the main cast lol."

Alus the Star Runner -

"He’s a three-armed wyvern gunslinger with cool goggles and a lightsaber. Need I say more? …Okay then. Alus was born as a mutant cripple and rejected by his kind but managed to overcome this and rise up to become Flying Reptile Indiana Jones. He’s famed as the greatest adventurer in the land, but also struggles to keep up a conversation and prefers to remain on his own (which is especially unusual for wyverns, who usually gather in giant flocks). He has exactly one (1) friend, whom he completely fails to understand as a person but still values and respects immensely. Despite his difficulties with social interaction, he’s repeatedly shown to be incredibly resourceful and intelligent, with a single-minded drive and persistence unmatched by anyone else in the series. (Also canonically asexual, because who needs a family when you can fight dragons perfectly well on your own?)"

Mamoru -

"the ORIGINAL autistic magical boy."

Shizuka -

"he's the most emotionally intelligent & mentally stable member of the cast & he's in love with the least emotionally intelligent & most emotionally volatile character ever. he's constantly got the vibe of looking into the camera like he's in the office while he's dealing with everyone else's bullshit. he's so steadfast & loyal that it makes me want to cry. he's so bad at expressing himself in a way that other people understand that for the longest time the boy he's in love with thinks that Doumeki doesn't even like him."

Idia -

"He’s a shut-in weirdo with long messy hair, a sleep deprived look in his eyes, and one of the few students to have a hoodie as part of his school uniform. He’s a prodigal tech genius with the vibes of burn out and depression. He’s usually quite meek around people, but when he clicks with a conversation topic, he gets all energetic and fired up and sometimes a bit haughty too. To avoid going out of his room and interacting with people face to face, he invented a mobile tablet with text to speech. He stays up all night playing video games and while he has trouble with IRL relationships, he’s made a genuine friend out of one of his gaming buddies (who he doesn’t realize is actually one of his classmates). He stans an idol group and once got into a hacking war against some dorm mates over it. He rebuilt his dead brother as a robot who has become somewhat of a therapist to him. The only reason he went out on a holiday vacation with school acquaintances is due to the location being featured in an anime, then bonded with the one guy’s grandma when he realized his favorite girl was based on her. For the Halloween celebration, he convinced his dorm to theme themselves after his favorite B horror movie, constantly infodumping to people about it and going all out in recreating the special effects. In Book 5, he has a minor background arc of being forced to do public speaking. In another Halloween event, he was forced to be a back-up singer and managed to pull through despite the social anxiety. He’s the most autistic student in all of Night Raven College and possibly in all of Twisted Wonderland too."

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camillesblogsposts · 2 years ago

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Protective Ellie

Request by anonymous!! Summary: You’re injured by a perv. Ellie loses her shit. Also?? Neurodivergent reader?? I am autistic and I kinda struggle to write from a perspective that isn’t U^ェ^U tw!! Kinda super duper crazy Ellie!!

You had recently stopped working on patrols altogether following an ‘incident.’ You weren’t paying attention to your surroundings and were tackled by an infected; to you, this was simply a mishap. To Ellie, it was a near death experience to be taken seriously. Ellie rescued you. It had became a too frequent occurrence. Honestly, you weren’t entirely capable for patrols. You were antsy, nervous and skittish. You weren’t physically nor emotionally capable. But, you got to be with Ellie. Now, you didn’t. You were stuck working at home making herbal remedies and soaps and such to trade at the markets during the day and working at the pub during the evenings.

“Ells, can I please not just join patrols again? It’s horrible being in that bar.” You whined, shoving your head into her chest dramatically. “No, sorry baby, you’re safer this way.” She was mildly irritated but she hid it well, stroking your hair and tucking it behind your ear. “What if I get super strong like you?” You giggle, looking up at her with big doe eyes. She smirked, “You wanna get muscly like me?”

“Well, no, but if I was then would I be able to be on patrols again?” You pouted. “You’re done with patrols, kay? Just forget about it, it’s for your own good silly.” Ellie was obsessed with keeping you sheltered lately. She had been growing paranoid again. She wasn’t sleeping. She’d stay awake at night watching you, stroking and kissing your face gently. Even as she stood speaking to you, the thought of you being possibly endangered made her nauseous. “Well, I don’t wanna be at the bar anymore.” You huffed, shoving her away gently in defiance. She had enough, this argument having spanned a week now. She ignored you and walked to grab her patrol bag.

Ellie walked to the door and opened it, turning back to speak before she left. “Be good, okay?” It was a rhetoric. “I don’t wanna go there, it’s loud and noisy and there’s so many people.” You threw yourself back onto the bed. She didn’t say anything else and left before you could confront her on her neglect. You had no other real choice than to get ready for the bar. Ellie contributed so much, you had to too. You needed to prove to her that you too were worth something. That you were just as useful as her. Begrudgingly, you got dressed into a black dress and apron. You made a small effort with makeup; homemade. A little blush and lip stain from berries. You knew it would excite her when she’d see you.

You walked to the bar and got to work; scrubbing tables, pouring pints, talking to the random middle aged men. Joel’s crowd. You were hugely popular already, people bringing you small presents as tokens of their appreciation for your service. A little bracelet, pin and book about birds were what you had collected on this evening. A girl around your age brought you an iced tea she had made at home for you. It was too fruity for your taste but you thanked her profusely and got her a little platter of snacks to take to her table with her friends. She seemed excited by this, keeping coming back to talk to you even though she didn’t need anything. It confused you. The pub was an overwhelming environment and not exactly knowing what a customer wanted from you intensified this. Regardless, you worked hard to keep up with every order made and conversation started.

A few hours into your shift people started to flood in, it was around 7pm and most people were finishing the work day. At this point, you were feeling overworked. Your body got a little shaky, you felt warm. When it got like this you kind of felt like you weren’t there any more. It was almost as if your consciousness had left your body and moved just a few inches forwards. You wanted Ellie and caught you whining to yourself as you thought about her. She would be here soon, you reminded yourself. Only an hour or so to go.

The girl came back up to the counter. She was pretty much wasted at this point. She was wearing a denim jacket, you noticed. She had a bad hair cut. “Hey again darling” She spoke, hand reaching across the counter to land on your forearm. “Hey, can I help?” You felt mildly uncomfortable at the nickname but it wasn’t uncommon in this environment. “What’s your name again?” She asked, looking you directly in the eyes. It was unnervingly direct. “Y/N.” You suddenly grew concerned she has been dissatisfied with your service. “Mine is Kaia, are you busy after this?” She still hadn’t removed her hand from your arm and you awkwardly stepped back to separate yourself. You were genuinely confused, now it became obvious why she had been so persistent, but you couldn’t wrap your head around why she would be so bold with you. Was she new here?

“Um, yeah I am actually.”

“Oh really? Well, I’m sure you could use some company.” She turned, and for a moment you thought she was just abruptly leaving, but then she walked left and behind the counter to stand beside you. You were started to shake a little more. She grabbed your arm with her hands, she smelt of alcohol. Nobody in the pub seemed to notice. Her friends had left.

“So? Where you live?” She almost burped as she spoke. You wanted Ellie a lot more, now. “You’re hurting me,” You spoke, breathily and much more quiet than you had intended. You noticed how tight your throat felt. You were going lightheaded. Her grip on your arm tightened.

“Ye? You like that, eh?”

“My girlfriend is going to be here soon.” You realised that maybe she just didn’t know it was you, Ellie’s girlfriend. She didn’t back off whatsoever. She obviously had no idea who Ellie was at all. Definitely a new resident.

“Oh yeah? Who’s your girlfriend, darl?” She whispered this through a hiccup, her face drawing in close to you as her hands gripped onto both of your arms.

Then, she was thrown back over onto the open cabinets, clattering into the glasses. They smashed, she fell to the floor in a slump. It happened so quickly that you couldn’t quite comprehend what had happened. You stood for a moment in a daze, just looking down at her. Blood was splattered on her denim jacket from the broken glass. You couldn’t hear, your eyes grew blurry.

You felt hands on you and you yelped, jumping forwards and shoving your head into your hands in defence. It was Dina, pulling you back. Her face was soft with concern. It calmed you down instantly and your vision returned to you. Ellie was stood over Kaia, relentlessly striking her face with her fist- “I’m her fucking girlfriend.” She was screaming, “Fucking scum, I’m gonna fucking kill you.” It was abnormal. You stumbled forwards, wanting to hold Ellie, wanting her to hold you. Dina held you tightly to stop you from going over. The pub was in chaos. People were screaming for Ellie to stop.

Ellie took a glass from the floor that hadn’t shattered and smashed it into the girls face before punching her a final time before being dragged off by Joel. The girl was covered head to toe in blood, unconscious on the floor. You worried that Ellie had actually killed her, and then she twitched on the ground. Maria pulled her up alongside her friends that had earlier left but must’ve returned upon hearing the commotion, Joel pulled Ellie the opposite direction towards you. You ran to her.

“Ellie, Ellie oh my god, are you okay?” You only just realised that you had been crying, your face was soaked. Your body was vibrating. “Joel get the fuck off me-” Ellie was still screaming, thrashing. She almost didn’t notice you standing there. He didn’t let her go until Maria had left with Kaia and the pub doors had been shut closed, everybody having been hurried out.

“I’m gonna fucking kill her” She was furious, her voice sounding animalistic. You grabbed onto her. You didn’t know what else to do. You wrapped your arms around her torso and put your face into her chest, pushing as hard as you could. You just wanted her to hold you, so so so badly.

She wrapped her arms around you too for a moment, and then quickly kneeled down on the floor before you. She wrapped an arm around your back and looked up at you, eyes glossy. “Fuck, are you okay?” She sounded so incredibly pained. You could tell she was already blaming herself. You nodded, still crying. She stood up again to kiss you, she kissed your forehead and cheek. “Who is she? I’ve never seen the fucking freak before.” You shrugged. You knew what Ellie would do if she knew her name.

“Joel, who the fuck was that?”

Joel looked antsy and irritated. “Ellie, it’s over now, you need to make sure that Y/N is okay.” Dina nodded, looking back at you. Her eyes were glossed over with tears.

“It wasn’t that bad, all she did was grab my arms.” You felt horrendous. You caused all this. Ellie scoffed loudly, “She was about to kiss you.” Her voice went high pitched with irritation, dramatically throwing her hands out as she spoke. You felt like you were going to cry again.

“I’m sorry.” You hiccuped, arms crossed defensively around your body. Ellie was neglecting you, she paced angrily, occasionally hitting her head into her hands. Joel was trying his best to calm her down but he was just growing equally frustrated, dwelling on what happened. Dina stroked your arms, kissing the top of your head to comfort you. She told you about her day. She’d seen wild horses. It was like this for around ten minutes before Joel finally let Ellie leave to take you home.

The walk home was a blur. You were shivering like crazy and you and Ellie didn’t exchange a single word. She had draped her coat over your shoulders and walked with her arm wrapped around you, pulling you into her chest with each step. Once inside, Ellie took her coat from you and led you to the bed. You sat perched and she removed your shoes for you.

“Can I take off these clothes?” She asked, voice cracking. You nodded and held out your hands to cup her face tentatively. “Wanna see your face.” You spoke, teary eyed. Ellie melted. She tried her very hardest not to cry, her whole body aching like she had been doused in boiling hot water when she’d walked into that pub and seen that girl gripping onto you. Her skin was left sizzling. She came and sat beside you on the bed, keeping her eyes on your face as she undressed you gently and quickly.

“Bath or shower?” She asked, she was trying to distract the both of you. You noticed the dried blood on her hands and shirt.

“Can we bath together?” You asked as she wrapped a blanket from the bed around you. “Yeah, course, c’mon then.” She made you stand in the bathroom with her whilst she ran it.

“Are you scared of me?” She asked, quietly. You shook your head immediately, “Of course not Ellie, I could never be scared of you.” You hushed her, leaning your head into the crook of her shoulder. She picked you up, trying to play and make you feel a little better, and dropped you off in the bath. You giggled a little, forgetting what had happened in the moment. She stood before you and undressed. Seeing her there made you feel so safe and warm. How could you ever be scared of her?

She got inside, sitting opposite you. She opened her legs, “C’mon, sit here.” She beckoned you with a finger. You did quickly, glad to feel her skin on yours. “Ellie, when she was scaring me all I could think of was how I knew you’d protect me.” That sort of put your thoughts into context for her. You both knew she went too far. But, secretly, you were grateful for it. Ellie would kill for you. She’d kill someone for leaving a bruise on your skin, the way her finger tips did on your arms. It gave you a deep sense of satisfaction that you couldn’t understand. Ellie loved you so deeply that it couldn’t just be understood.

Ellie wrapped her arms around you and cuddled you tightly into her chest. “I’m so so sorry that I didn’t stop her before she could touch you.” She mumbled into your back, you could feel how tense she was. “You couldn’t have known, it’s not your fault Ells,” your voice was quiet. You were hurting so badly seeing her like this. “You’re never going back to that fucking bar again.” She grumbled, kissing your shoulders.

“Do I get to be on patrols again?” You chirped up, fluttering your eyelashes at her over your shoulder. “For now, not letting you out my fucking sight.” She kept kissing you, stroking your arms and hair. You smiled a little. Ellie washed your hair and body for you so so gently, so careful to not hurt you. She looked broken when it came to your arms, scrubbing away whatever remnants of that girl remained. She got you wrapped up in a towel and took you into the bedroom. She quickly got dressed into her ‘pyjamas’ (a t shirt and boxers) and waited for you to dry off until you felt comfortable enough to get dressed. You hated damp skin on cloth.

She plaited your hair, kissed your forehead and pulled you into bed, spooning you.

“Will you tell me a story?”

“Course baby, what type?”

“A princess one.”

“Well, once upon a time there was a super cool princess called Y/N, she was into flowers and plants and knitting. She met a knight that equally liked dinosaurs and space, well basically, they fell in love and got married and cuddled just like this every single night. And the knight killed allll the dragons that ever came close to the princess.” Ellie’s rambling was so funny to you, you giggled the whole time, her fingers wrapping around your hips to tickle you lightly.

“What a lovely knight.” You joked, kissing the tip of her nose. “You’re the worlds most beautiful princess.” She kissed you, and again and again. She was being so careful with you. It made your stomach feel so warm.

You fell asleep like that, waking up hours later. Ellie was gone. She’d left her jumper bundled up beside you and your two teddies in your arms. You knew what she was doing. You went back to sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, Ellie was showering. You walked in the bathroom, sneaking up and surprising her. She didn’t jump, smirking down at you. “C’mere, my little dipshit.” She grabbed your face and kissed you hard. You went about your day like normal aside from the occasional gentle pulling in of Ellie and a little whisper asking if you’re okay. You were, you knew you were safe again. Ellie was with you and nobody would ever be seeing Kaia again.

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #tlou x reader

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