#straw and arson

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Now for the final round!

@hellsitegenetics

I love them

I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.

it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!

so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches

perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for

It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!

Creatures 👍

Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite

Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.

I love them. English speakers talk like moths

If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!

They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!

uhh it’s cool

BLAST

There are so many weird bugs in the world

Yippee!!

If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.

Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH

Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie

the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise

This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.

If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3

@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature

what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?

sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks

Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021

Arson is so much more fun

It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament

you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service

always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'

the goat account is peak gimmick blog

If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements

Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!

goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting

I wanna see things burn

the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays

watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it

the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.

Please guys bite gavlebocken

Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?

sacred anti-corporate arson

a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!

pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for

the goat is the GOAT

HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON

the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them

they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news

let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you

nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win

doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess

[has-the-gavle-goat-burned-yet]

Gävle Goat is Bock!

Welcome all straw goat and arson enthusiasts! Another year of Gävle Goat watching is upon us. Just a few things before the goat is officially up for the first Sunday of advent!

I will post the date on all of my goat updates, but it is still a good idea to turn timestamps on for your posts if you don’t already in case posts from old years start circulating.

I like to post my updates around midnight Swedish time, so keep in mind when that would be for your time zone if you are checking my blog for updates.

If you are looking for information about past goat activities I highly recommend the Gävle Goat Wikipedia page! I also have the tag Gavle goat lore where I have answered asks about the goat in past years.

I’m looking forward to another year of goat watching with all of you. You can find the livestream at the bottom of this post, updates will start on the first Sunday of advent (December 1st this year).

And as always best of luck to any potential arsonists out there!

[krippe90]

When I stop to think about it it's actually very bizarre that the burning of gävlebocken has become such a big meme on tumblr.

It's the only form of arson where, pretty much, every Swede is against punishing the people who manage to pull it off, which in itself is kinda odd.

But it's even odder that it has gotten such spread outside of Sweden these past years and pretty much everyone is still like "yeah, they SHOULD get to burn that fucking thing down! It's made of straw! It's asking for it!"

[bogkeep]

and then it turns out we had to switch to a bus at the end station of my previous train anyway!!! i saw the train there!!! ahh!!!

i'm getting pretty used to taking the same 16ish hour train route with multiple train changes by now, and while the trains are the same, the stations where to make the switches varies a little bit every time for whatever inscrutable reasons. i do not question the railway gods. usually. i want to question them a little bit about why i have to be awake at 5am instead of getting to stay cozy on the sleepytrain all the way to its end station as usual...

[hasgavlebockenburneddownyet]

how many non-arson destructions have there been (like the birds)?

9 times!

In 1971 it was smashed to pieces. In 1972 it collapsed after being sabotaged. In 1973 a man stole it and brought it home (although the official website lists it as unknown). In 1975 it collapsed by itself (also listed as unknown fate by the official site). In 1976 a student drove into one of its hind legs with a car. In 1978 it got smashed to pieces again. In 1979 they put up a second goat after the first burned before even being finished, and the second got sabotaged and smashed. In 1983 it got its legs broken. 2010 is an honorable mention, it survived that year, but there was a plot to try to kidnap and bring the goat to stockholm by helicopter. And then 2023 when a lot of rainfall affected the harvest of the straw leaving seeds left in it and it got eaten by birds.

Note: between 1971 and 1985 it was no longer built by Söders köpmän but by Vasaskolan, and thus it was generally smaller.

sources: https://web.archive.org/web/20160119173138/http://www2.visitgavle.se/sv/se-gora/a811506/g%C3%A4vlebockens-historia/detaljer https://alltomresor.expressen.se/resmal/europa/sverige/gavlebocken--har-ar-14-saker-du-inte-visste/ https://www.gp.se/nyheter/sverige/gavlebockens-liv-och-dod-.ee45a9a0-de68-4432-8a59-1c8625e49c3d https://www.visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebockens-ode

[meowllorydesigns]

They’re here for the holidays! Get your own straw goat pin (lightly toasted) for the upcoming season!

[nonagalleryart]

No matter what you do or do not celebrate this time of year, always remember, when it comes to giant straw goats we are united together in always choosing arson.

[yuhi-san]

i just realized that the gävle goat is not as famous outside of tumblr as i thought.

my friend and i are doing this new fantasy rpg which is already fn because the biggest issue our adventurer party has so far is, in fact, bureacracy (and the fact that half of them are extreamly picky eaters).

but i mentioned that my character Failynn (who is a siren but prone to accidental arson) would 'probably set the gävle goat on fire without meaning to'

and my friend went: the wat?

me: you know, the giant swedish straw goat they build in december but usually gets burned down by arsonist before christmas, its like a whole thing almost like a contest. except for last year where a bunch of birds picked it appart.

her: what the fuck kind of string of words is that

[rogue-rook]

what really gets me about the gavle goat is that it's a totally spontaneously-arising tradition. it's not outside the realm of possibility that if you didn't know the real context you might think it's a community event where the goat is burned in a similar way to yule logs. instead its an extremely illicit tradition of random people, not organized in any way, continually committing arson on this one particular town's giant straw goat structure, leading to the community creating more and more increasingly elaborate ways to prevent said arson, only somewhat successfully. some people just want to watch the goat burn!

[anna-the-undertaker]

Im playing with an incorrect quote generator and I'm sharing them here. They are cracking me tf up.

Belphie: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to MC and not do the thing, Belphie: Well there’s a clear right answer here. Belphie: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

Satan: I woke up and chose VIOLENCE. I WILL COMMIT ARSON AND BURN EVERYTHING TO THE GROUND!!! I AM ANGRY- MC: Awwww, you’re so adorable! Give me a hug~ Satan: Wh-What? nO, yOURE SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED OF ME! TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH- Lucifer, recording: This is so cute.

Beel: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP- Belphie: …Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE?? Beel: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

Barbatos: Look, Satan, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.

MC: Yes, I'm adopting Satan and you cowards can't tell me no!

Lucifer: *running towards Beel with open arms* Beel: *moves out of the way* Lucifer: Hey, why'd you move?! Beel: I thought you were going to attack me. Lucifer: I was going to hug you! Beel: Why would you hug me? Lucifer: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

Levi: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Barbatos: So you're just gonna wait until MC is in danger and save them? Levi: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Barbatos: … Barbatos: You're insane.

MC: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. Belphie: We’re not friends. MC, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

Lucifer: You’re starting to look like me more and more every day— Satan: *Bursts into tears* Lucifer: Why are you crying? Satan: You’re ugly! I don’t want to look like you! *sobs*

*Satan and Mammon are texting* Satan: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone. Mammon: What did they change my name to? Satan: Chosen One. Mammon: Don’t change it back. Satan: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?! Mammon: I’m the chosen one.

Mammon: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Belphie: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you it’d ruin the mystery.

Asmo: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Mammon: What happened to your nose? Satan: I used it to break some guy's fist.

Mammon: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? MC: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though… I don't know. Mammon: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Mammon: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Asmo: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

Mammon: look Levi, I'm not slut shaming you but… Mammon: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

Lucifer: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. Mammon: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

Satan: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

MC: *Texts a selfie to the group chat* Hey besties!! Mammon: *Texts a selfie clearly parodying MC's* hey besties !!1! MC: I literally hate you so much.

Satan: What's this? MC, hugging Satan: Affection! Satan: Disgusting. Satan: …Do it again.

Lucifer: I am going to need you to swear- Diavolo: Fuck. Lucifer: Lucifer: …swear as in promise.

Mammon: Pardon me, but it sounds like you’re questioning my authority! Lucifer: Not at all, Mammon. Merely your primitive methods.

MC: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

Levi: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! Beel: Apparently, we're not.

Mammon: *Reading a letter* Satan: Well, what does it say? Mammon: It’s a confession letter. It turns out MC killed my pet rock.

Diavolo: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

MC: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Diavolo and Lucifer's convo? Asmo: Me. I'm in the laundry basket. Belphie: I'm in the washing machine. Barbatos: I'm in the closet. Asmo: We accept you Barbatos. <3 Barbatos: No I'm literally in the closet. Asmo: Love is love. <3

Belphie (brainstorming ideas for pranking Lucifer): How much would a serial killer mask possibly cost? MC: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. Belphie: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? MC: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Belphie.

Diavolo: I don't know, it's not my cup of tea. Satan: Well then whose is it? Diavolo, staring at a cup of tea: I don't know!

MC: What’s something you guys are better than Lucifer at? Mammon: Mario Kart. Satan: Yeah, video games. Levi: Emotional vulnerability.

Mammon: Can we talk about that mass email you sent? MC: Why? It was important. Mammon: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit". Diavolo, shrugging: The people need to know.

Mammon: Can you pass the salt? Asmo: Can you pass away? Mammon: Too much salt.

*talking on the phone* Mammon: Remember how I said that MC and I were gonna have a calm night out for once? Lucifer: Yeah… Mammon: Well, we’re in jail. Lucifer: *hangs up*

MC: Go to hell! Lucifer: Where do you think I come from?

MC: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

Satan: We need a distraction. Lucifer: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises? Diavolo, whispering: My time has come.

Mammon: I don’t know, this plan seems complicated. Lucifer: You once said that about an orange. Mammon: They don’t make sense. Apples, you eat their clothes but oranges you don’t.

Diavolo: Mammon and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Asmo: What did you do? Diavolo: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Mammon: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

@facts-i-just-made-up

They're a good lesson in fact checking the bare minimum (looking at least at the blog name)

@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

[sanest-bsd-delegate]

𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙛𝙛

Headcanon: Daily life of you dating them. Ft Dazai, Chuuya, Nikolai and Ranpo

A/n: accept this as a payback for being gone for to long. Miss you guys, how have you been?

ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY

PORT MAFIA

MASTERLIST

Dazai:

You need to deal with him fr to much.

Can see him ordering drinks during you dates, specifically asking the waiter to bring two straws only to see him drink it from both.

Are you even dating him if you both haven't already taken couple quizzes on the Internet.

This mf istg. LIKE you are about to kiss and he would bump his forehead with yours.

Either he is 10/10 romantic or will be the worst lover in history.

Aww but imagine, if you are in bad mood and insecure or stuff, or saying why you hate your self, he would overhear that and list you things he likes about you. Cute, BUT STOP HIM BEFORE IT GOES FOREVER.

Never leave him alone at home. This man would bring those glow in the dark stars and paste it all over your room. THE LIGHT SO BRIGHT IT BLINDS YOU EYES.

UwU that gives him and you a reason to sleep together on the couch.

You both tried to set up yourself as avatars on games, trying to get your virtual self together only for Dazai's avatar to turn into a bread and commit arson.

Chuuya:

Can imagine you both raking up leaves and jumping into them.

he trying their best to be quiet while you are taking a nap.

This man gets into a heated argument with someone begins threatening them, only for you to pick him up and toss him over your shoulders walking away while he still shouts.

10/10 perfect dynamic couples

You both will visit a field of flowers as a dating spot and thinking you have time to take photos but then both of you end up laying in the field together and picking beautiful flowers for each other. Bonus when both of you make flower crowns for each other.

He kisses you before heading out to kill people, while you lie still in bed trina cope up completing your education degree he can never have. (Lets be real, they are 22, people are finishing college at that moment and not killing people for fun-)

You tried to connect to his Wi-Fi and jokingly put your own name in as the password.

WELL that actually worked and you are connected to his Wi-Fi. (STFU ITS NOT CRINGE ITS FLUFF)

Nikolai:

THIS MAN likes stealing your phone to change your phone's wallpaper into cursed pics from your Pinterest. 10/10 morning trauma

He helps you dry and brush your hair after a shower and visa versa.

Normalising playing on the swings at a small playground that nobody goes to anymore because that's what two sane persons do.

Hands down, both of you tried to cross your kitchen playing three-legged race.

Never let this man draw. You both will be drawing each other and man will breakdown just because he cant lift a pencil. HOW CAN YOU LIFT A MF GUN THEN??

Once you and him were stranded on a raft in the middle of a lake. DONT ASK WHY.

Ranpo:

You have to tie balloons around his hand so he doesn't get lost in the crowd.

JUST IMAGINE-, He has a french fry in his mouth and dares you to steal it from him. and when you try to do it, he puts the whole fry in his mouth and makes you kiss him. 10/10 RIZZNPO.

Thanks to his amazing direction skills, you both get lost in IKEA.

HUJFDISF He will touch your face and tell you its really soft while he gives nose kisses!>>>

Presuming you can knit, he forced you to make a very very very long scarf, only for him to make you sit beside him and share it. (No dazai, that cannot be your rope)

Thanks for reading! I am thinking to change my writing theme. But either ways Do vote if you like ig? Byee lysm :D ๑ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY ๑PORT MAFIA ๑MASTERLIST ๑HEADCANONS

[simpforsix]

criminal minds as quotes from my work part 3

you’ll never stop me from making these >:)

-

Penelope: I’m just gonna follow you around so it looks like I’m working.

Hotch: Cool, we’re gonna go hide in dry storage.

-

Emily: I love that we’ve upgraded from smoking on a bucket to smoking on a chair!

-

Derek: *does a Kermit impression*

Elle: If you don’t stop talking like Kermit I am going to kermit arson.

-

Spencer: I’ve been telling everyone it’s my first day so that they don’t get mad at me for my mistakes. I’ve worked here for four years.

-

Emily: *drinks ranch like a shot and then walks away like nothing happened*

Derek: What the fuck?

-

Penelope: Hey Hotch, wake up.

Hotch: What?

Penelope: Someone got murdered at work. Should I still come in?

Hotch: WHAT??

-

Emily: I didn’t know you smoked?

JJ: I work here. Of course I do.

-

Derek: See that dark hole? Just climb the ladder and get in. I promise there’s no ghosts up there!

Spencer: Uh...

Derek: *laughs menacingly*

-

JJ: Why are you guys being so loud-

Penelope, halfway in the dishwasher with her arm in the drain: I need to find my straw!

-

Hotch and Gideon during an extremely stressful shift: YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEEEEEEN YOUNG AND SWEEEEEEET ONLY SEVENTEEEEEEEN BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

Elle: I’m just not gonna bother them.

-

Hotch: Why are you standing around? Find something to do!

Spencer: I’ve wiped the walls and doors, dusted the picture frames and shelves, cleaned all the windows, stocked everything, wiped all the tables and the dividers, refilled all the chemicals, and swept the floor. I finished the entire weekly cleaning checklist in one hour. 

Spencer: I also scraped all the gum off the tables. To make it more fun I kept track of the scores. 96 had the most per area, 85 had the newest, 71 had a gross sticker that stuck my glove together, and all the gum was either white, blue, or green with white having the most by far.

Hotch:

Hotch: Just go home.

-

JJ: Life hack! Whenever I get stressed I just stand in this dark closet and pretend to get coffee.

-

Gideon: How did you fix the computer screen? That was amazing!

Penelope: I pressed the home button, but sure. 

-

Emily: Why haven’t we been sent home? It’s obvious that there’s nothing to do.

Hotch: What do you mean?

Emily, turning and pointing at the bullpen: Look.

*Spencer standing on a counter wiping the walls*

Hotch: Ah.

-

JJ: I need a lighter for the birthday cake candles but I can’t find one!

Derek: Hang on. I know exactly where to find one.

Derek: HEY BAU TEAM! I NEED A LIGHTER!

The team:

Derek: Oh come on, none of you have one? Wait, Emily!

Emily, walking in to the bullpen: Yeah?

Derek: Do you have a lighter?

Emily: *hands him a lighter*

Derek: HAHA! I KNEW ONE OF YOU SMOKED! HEY JJ, I’VE GOT A LIGHTER!

[kissorkill16]

Overheard: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Trinity overhears her parents fighting.

Trinity climbed through the window of her room, a bag of clothes in her hand. She sat the clothes down on her bed, and was about to change out of her black feathered dress, but then she heard arguing coming from downstairs.

"I'm sorry, Donald, but this is the last straw!"

Her mother.

"Can we talk about this when we find our daughter?!"

Her father.

She tried to ignore it as she changed out of her dress, but the yelling kept getting louder.

"We're not done talking about this, Donald.", said her mother.

"I am.", said her father.

"Well I'm not!", her mother yelled back at her father.

Trinity picked up her dress and folded it neatly on her bed, then she took the clothes from the bag Principal Abanate gave to her and folded those neatly.

"Y'know, you have started to grow more careless of Trinity ever since we got here."

"Careless?! You're the one who barely even questions her behavior."

Her father sighed, "Look, I admit, I was a little embarrassed when she was caught in that snooping incident back in Shelbyville, but I wanted to try and trust her, especially after Mr. Peterson nearly fucking kidnapped her!"

Trinity heard stomping, and she knew that her father was getting angry.

"While I wanted to give her another chance, all you cared about was your 13 outlets in your home office."

"You think I care about 13 outlets more than our daughter?!"

"Well that's what it sounded like the first few days of living here."

Trinity heard her mother groan.

"Well when we got here, I wanted to give her another chance too. But then she met that delinquent kid, Nicky!", she said.

At the mention of Nicky, Trinity clenched her fists and crumpled the shirt in her hands. Her mother had always disapproved of Nicky, and all because of what Principal Abanate told her parents.

"And then there was the sugar coma -"

"Are you seriously accusing that boy, who was dirty and scraped, and wearing a dirty potato sack over his head on the night of Mr. Peterson's arrest, for nearly killing our daughter? And because what? Because Principal Abanate saw her with Nicky?"

Trinity's eyes widened when she heard her father. She never thought she'd hear him defending Nicky, especially after all he and her mom heard about him, and here he was defending him.

"And that wasn't the only time you accused a child of something like that. You asked Trinity if her friends had something to do with our house nearly burning down. Answer me this, Amanda. How and why would children ever commit arson?

When Trinity didn't hear anything, she knew that her mother was losing the argument.

Her dad sighed, "And now she left because we were about to send her away. And it's all because you agreed with Principal Abanate about sending her to boarding school. She was happy here, she had friends, she was doing great in school, and it sounds like you don't even care."

Her mother scoffed, "If I recall correctly, you were on board with it too."

"Yeah, and now Trinity's gone. All I want is for our daughter to come home and never leave us again. You think I'm focused on sending her away while she's missing?! All you care about doing when she comes back is sending her away."

"I want our daughter back too, but she keeps doing this, and you want to give her another chance?! How stupid and careless are you?"

"Well how apathetic and mean are you?"

Trinity flopped down on her bed, growing tired of the arguing. It was silent downstairs for a moment, then she heard both of her parents sigh.

She decided not to stay here tonight, so she grabbed her backpack and stuffed in a couple of clothes she got from Principal Abanate, and her cult dress.

As she was climbing out of her room, the last thing she heard her father say nearly made her fall down from her window.

"I want a divorce."