#stranger things 2 eats horror wise

[dollsanddandy]

Stranger Things 2 is the most immaculate season and I love the marketing and I love the horror and darkness of this season oh my god it was so perfect I own the whole Stranger Things 2 soundtrack I love it Stranger Things 5 you have a lot to live up to

[imaginethat0327]

Get to know us!

Hey everybody!  IJustLiveHere and I decided it might be kinda nice to share some info about us, so we can all be a little more personal with each other. We each made a little list of stuff we thought might be kinda fun to share :D 

ImagineThat 🦜: 

21 years old, pronouns she/her

Lives in the USA

Loves to sing, and enjoys pretty much all genres of music (from the Oh Hellos to the All-American Rejects, from cinematic instrumental to rap :D)

I’m an ENFJ and an Enneagram 9. My top love languages are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

Likes: Chocolate, coffee, sunshine, animals (especially cats and birds!), talking with people, having long, complex conversations, encouraging others, drawing (mostly digital art), all types of food (Italian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Greek, Halal, Indian, American, Mexican…. It goes on and on), Christmas (THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR), sharing my interests with other people, and watching movies (All the movies, all the movie quotes, lets goooo.) 

Dislikes: Sweet potatoes, most types of squash, mushrooms, disrespect towards others (HUGE pet peeve, especially when it’s directed towards parents or elders), bugs (unless in a documentary), rudeness, hypocrites, cold temperatures, unnecessary/over-the-top gore or crass language (unless I’m writing Bakugo or a character for which swearing is normal for them), horror films (they give me nightmares. I like a good psychological thriller, though) being ignored or otherwise deemed unimportant *sad face*, upsetting others. 

Fav Fandoms: My Hero Academia, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Stranger Things, How to Train Your Dragon (films), Lord of the Rings (films and books), Owl House, Avatar the Last Airbender, Star Trek TNG and DS9, Disney (especially pixar, but like the older movies cause the most recent ones are sorta meh), Marvel (not as much any more, gotta admit, although Guardians of the Galaxy 3 SLAPPED) and Hermitcraft 

Other fun stuff: I have a fairly big family, two dogs, and I’ve moved seven times in my life. I’ve traveled to nearly every US state and several other countries. I know how to passibly juggle, was once on a swim team (my record for breath holding about 4-5 years ago was 2 minutes!), and I rode horses for a while. My personal mission statement for life is to fight cynicism and negative views, always try to be open-minded and wise, and to always keep improving myself. 

IJustLiveHere 🍓:

20, she/they

Based in the USA 

I’m a theater person, and love both acting and working behind the scenes. (Like ImagineThat, I also appreciate all music genres)

INFP and Enneagram type 2. My top love languages are Physical Touch and Quality Time, although I appreciate all of them in my own way

Likes: Video games, dnd (playing and streams), sweet things, watermelon (my favorite fruit -despite what my sona may tell you- and I can eat entire melons in one sitting), snow, pretty much all animals, baking, platonic displays of affection, getting clear directions about something, talking about things I love, and listening to people rant about things they’re passionate about

Dislikes: Horror films (I’m really squeamish unless it’s animated or drawn, and spook super easily), pork and things that sneak food dye into it (allergic and makes me sick), the sun (also makes me sick), hot temperatures (haha makes me sick too), making on the spot decisions, and watching things that give me second-hand embarrassment

Fav Fandoms - Anime/Manga: One Piece, My Hero Academia, Jujutsu Kaisen, Haikyuu, Dr. Stone, Fire Force, Hunter X Hunter, Chainsaw Man, Dorohedoro, Assasination Classroom, Mob Psycho 100, Hell’s Paradise, Kaiju no.8… (a whole lot more but the list would be waaaayyy too long if I added them all. Name it and I most likely will be into it)

Fav Fandoms - Cartoons/Shows: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (but I like the other iterations too), Lego Monkie Kid, Avatar the last Airbender, OG Teen Titans, Marvel (more of a casual fan), Dimension 20 (most definitely not a casual fan… it’s a problem), Critical Role, and Firefly 

Other Fun Stuff: Ok some fun facts about me. [1] I tend to get injured in weird ways. For instance: I once cut myself on the round orange part of a pumpkin, and I've accidentally cut myself on a box cutter… by falling onto it face first. (She also somehow managed to stab herself in the hand with a knife while cutting a bagel, then drop the knife on her foot blade-first -ImagineThat). [2] I also rode horses! It was very fun. Unfortunately I had to stop when COVID rolled around 🙁. [3] My favorite number is 13, mostly because I just think it’s neat but also I was 13 years old when I moved out of my home state. [4] I love to bake, but I honestly know nothing about cooking lol. [5] I am a dice gremlin and have more dnd dice sets than any one person probably should, and the same goes for earrings! I love funky dangly earrings and probably have somewhere in the hundreds of pairs. [6] I want to go to Ren Fair or a Cosplay Convention one day but I don’t have the stylish outfits to do so *sigh*. [7] I honestly had never heard of Hermitcraft or Empires until I started beta-ing for Imagine. I’m hooked on those silly little guys now and even though I don’t actually watch the streams Imagine keeps me updated on everything that goes on with them (which I look forward to hearing every time)

[alexanicholsauthor]

Questions To Ask A Wild Rampaging Alexa...

Ripped from the website Ponly

What books can you recommend?

So many. My favorites are the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor Lavey, The Great and Secret Show by Clive Barker, and numerous other occult and metaphysical books... my interests are all over the place!

What was the last joke that made you laugh?

I tend to laugh at everything, especially TikTok videos and memes. I can't even remember.

How would you characterize your best friend?

Selfless and brave.

Do you have a character you often compare yourself to?

No. I'm too weird to even attempt that!

Do you spend weekends with your family?

I try, but most of the time, I can't. I make up for this during the week as much as possible. Of course, my 'family' pretty much amounts to my baby squirrel and my big brother, so...

Who is your favorite foreign singer?

Shakira!

What was the last fear you were able to overcome?

It took me a while to think of an answer to this. Not because I don't have any fears, of course, but because most of the things I would consider 'fears' were conquered a looong time ago. I think the last fear I conquered would have to be social media. For most of my life, I didn't partake in it; I didn't see the need. That and all the horror stories I kept hearing acted as a serious deterrent. Now? I practically live on Twitter.

What is the weirdest game you have ever played?

Harvester. I loved, hated, and was creeped out by it - all at the same time.

What is the most mind-blowing piece of art you have ever seen?

I'm amazed by most forms of art, especially those done with obvious passion. I'm a huge fan of passion; it makes for fantastic creative works.

What is your favorite computer game?

Skyrim! Though The Witcher 3 is rapidly moving up on my list of favorites.

What things would you like to change in the world?

1. Racism. It baffles me how something as simple as skin pigment can make people feel at odds with one another. We seem to be the only creatures on the planet that does this... why?

2. Sexism. The idea that just because I'm female, I am somehow less than or weaker. Physically, yes, I understand, but there are far more important things than physical strength. In today's society, physical strength is low on the totem poll.

3. Religious entitlement. Just because someone has a different religion than you doesn't mean they are any better or worse. They are simply different. That would be like hating someone because they eat American cheese and you don't. Food tastes are different depending on the person... so is religion.

What dish would you never be able to refuse?

Eggs Benedict. They are the bane of my existence (health-wise).

What type of stereotypes are you most sick of?

That women are or should be subservient to men. That we like to be catcalled and anointed with endearing names like 'honey' or 'dear' by absolute strangers. That we want to be hit on or touched by people we don't even know. That we want unsolicited pictures of dicks.

Is there something you are afraid of asking in public?

I hate asking people for anything, even small, simple things. My big brother scolds me for this all the time. He says I have too much pride; I say I'm fiercely independent. That 'pride' has made me strong, self-sufficient, and smarter than your average. However, I do see his point: I can sometimes get overzealous...

If you could start this day anew, what would you do?

Find ways to get even more accomplished than I did. I'm huge on efficiency.

Between DC and Marvel, what would you choose?

Marvel. I don't think I've ever read a DC comic, while at one point I was actually collecting Marvel!

What is/was your favorite class at school?

Athletics. I've always been naturally athletic, so this was my favorite class. Academically, it would have to be English. Especially when we studied classical literature, like myths and pantheons. I fell in love with writing because of those.

What do you think happiness consists of?

True Friendship.

When you feel there is someone annoying at a party, how do you react?

I actively avoid/ignore them.

Have you ever had an urge to leave your city and live somewhere in the countryside surrounded by rivers and magnificent mountains?

Oh, hell no. I am way too bougie to make it in the country! I love my conveniences; there is no way I could live without them. I mean, I COULD, but I definitely wouldn't like it!

Do you have an animal you adore?

Dragons. I've always had a deep fascination with them, even when I was a little girl. If you're talking about real animals, it would have to be dogs. I love them so much. I like cats too, but I adore dogs way more.

Hearing a well-respected person criticizing your loved one, what would you do?

Light. Them. Up!

What is your happiest childhood memory?

I have so many that it would be difficult to emphasize just one. Most include my big brother; very few have anything to do with my 'parents.'

What is the thing you are most grateful for?

Life.

Would you never try rather than die trying?

I try to never say never, but skydiving is high on the list. And Bungie jumping.

Have you ever had any experiences to meet your favorite artist?

I don't have a favorite artist. More on that in a bit.

Can you cut relationships with people pulling you down?

Yes. I have a history of it. In fact, I've become good at it!

What is your dream job?

Being a writer.

What makes you feel proud of yourself?

Completing a story and then receiving feedback on said story. I put a lot of work into my works, so when it's all finally finished and in the hands of my readers - and they take time out of their lives to give me their opinions on it - bliss. I mean, they could be doing anything else, but they used their precious time to read one of my works. Fucking mind blowing!

What inspires you the most?

My baby squirrel. This little wench has not only beat cancer and was a trooper throughout the entire thing but also quit smoking and drinking cold turkey. I am honestly in awe of her, and she inspires the shit out of me when I'm undertaking, well, anything.

Do you think money can buy happiness?

Actually, yes. I know conventional wisdom says 'no,' but I believe it can.

What is your favorite flower?

Actually, I'm not too fond of flowers. Venus fly traps, maybe? Black Dahlias? Black roses?

What are three words that make you smile?

I love you. I could insert some weird or funny answers, but honestly, those three words mean a lot to me. They always put a smile on my face (not when said by strangers, though. That's creepy).

Can you name a place where you have never been to but wish to go?

Japan! (That one was so easy 😄)

What human qualities do you cherish?

Loyalty and honesty.

What language do you want to learn?

Japanese!

Who is the person you admire?

I admire several people, but I'm going to assume you mean "the most." That would be my big brother.

What is your favorite midnight cocktail?

I don't drink alcohol, and even when I did, I never drank cocktails. So I have no idea.

What is the best advice you have ever received?

This is easy: "Don't gamble anything you can't afford to lose."

Who is your favorite artist?

I don't have favorite artists of any genre of work; I have favorite works. And they are legion. I've always wondered about people that are fans of other people, stating that everything they make is golden. That isn't possible, nor is it true. Yes, you can have artists that resonate with you more often than not and be fond of those artists, but I don't. Not truly.

How do you deal with criticism?

It honestly depends on the person and reason. I firmly believe in the Rorschach (ink blot) test, which states that people project themselves onto you. Their observations, tone, and worldview are truly representative of the way they think and how they see themselves. People will snitch themselves off pretty quickly if you allow them to speak long enough.

[fizziepopangel]

The Human Centipede Trilogy (TW: mentions of gore, death, and SA)

The first sequence of The Human Centipede was released in 2010 with its second and third installments following closely behind in 2011 & 2015. Labelled as horror, slasher, and splatter, the writer and director of this trilogy (Tom Six) takes viewers on 3 separate journeys; each getting more disturbing than the last.... so much so that only the first movie was worth watching. And, yes, I did waste roughly 4 hours of my short little life watching all 3.

For anyone reading this who isn't familiar with the concept of The Human Centipede movies, the photos should give you an idea of the basic concept of the movies. This of course being that a string of people is surgically strung together mouth the ass, taking the phrase "eat shit" to a while new, sickening level.

Sequence 1: Believe it or not, the 2010 movie was actually good, and something I would and have recommended to those who think they can stomach it. This movie depicts a crazy German doctor kidnapping 3 tourists and sewing the strangers together to create one long digestive tract.... While the doctor's experiment works and he does end up with a functioning three-person centipede, his overall success ends with the tail end of the centipede unaliving himself and the front of the centipede dying from blood poising from the basement surgery (big surprise there, huh?), and the doctor himself being shot fatally by a police officer. While the doctor being unable to hurt anymore people was definitely a huge win, the two officers in his home also ended up being fatally wounded and leave the middle segment of the centipede alive, alone, and most likely on her way to a slow, painful death from dehydration, starvation, or eventually infection from being sewn to two different dead bodies. Despite the ending, overall, the movie was a solid, well shot piece of gore. If I were to rate the film, I would give it a solid 6.5 out of 10 and I wouldn't be opposed to sitting down to watch it again some time.

Sequence 2: A year after the original movie was released, the second sequence of the trilogy came into existence. This movie, while again written and directed by a mister Tom Six, followed a different storyline. As much as I went into this movie experience wanting to like it, there is very little to say about it that's actually good. This sequence actually takes place in a timeline in which the first movie was a movie that the main character (Martin) has an unhealthy obsession with. Martin, a man shy, mentally challenged little man suffering from abuse that had been ongoing since his childhood, falls in love with the idea of the human centipede and decides to study the film in order to make his own human centipede. I won't bore anyone with the details of each individual instance of Martin's crazed centipede extravaganza, but I will say that plot wise, the movie seemed lazily written, and I was sad to see that the movie was shot completely in black and white, which seemed to drown out most of the gore and splatter. On top of that, most deaths in the movie seemed to do little to advance the plot, only really done for the dramatics of it all... and the lazy writing in this sequence really used the "it was all just a dream" trope to wrap the movie up.... While the acting was decent, the style choices in this movie, the unnecessary deaths and crude behavior all seemed like a desperate effort to shock viewers into believing it was good horror because it was uncomfortably gross. Due to the poor stylistic choice and lack of a halfway decent plotline, this film ranks extremely low on my list of things to watch again , ranking at only a 2 out of 10.

Sequence 3: Although fully in color this time, this was arguably the worst thing I've sat through start to finish. After watching the first sequence and enduring the second, I felt obligated to watch the final sequence, and while I again started the movie with a bowl of ramen and an open mind, I quickly found that I would have a long hour and a half. Sequence 3 is centered around Bill Boss (played by the same actor who played the doctor in sequence 1), a cruel yet cowardly prison warden. Again, in this film universe, sequence 1 and 2 are bother purely fictional works pitched to Bill Boss by his accountant to rehabilitate the inmates, cut costs and crack down on prison violence. This leads to the idea that they may be able to make a human centipede with the 500 inmates within the prison walls to present to the governor when he visits the prison. When this experiment is completed, Bill proceeds to shoot and kill the prison doctor that helped them make their sick centipede and worm ideas a reality for being too excited to continue his work when he asks about the next round of surgeries without the knowledge that the entire thing had been shot down by the governor just moments before. His accountant suffers the same fate when the governor returns to the prison with a change of heart about the centipede idea being a permanent fixture in their facility, crediting Dwight (the accountant) for the idea. From SA to torture to murder over greed, to the 500 person centipede (and the caterpillar), there was nothing good within the near two hours I sat through it. It was stale, needlessly vulgar, and overall extremely upsetting to watch. After almost tapping out while watching the movie, I can say with full confidence that I will never be sitting through this again unless there is a hefty amount of cash on the line. there isn't a rating low enough to give this sequence an accurate rating.

Now, I know no one asked me to talk about this trilogy, but I had to. The movies were just too much to not talk about them. I thank everyone who read and enjoyed my late night ramblings on the movie, anyone who didn't can eat shit (see what I did there lol😂).

[rosyfingered-moon]

2022 roundup

Watched less tv this year than probably any other year in my life because I was mostly pregnant and queasy beyond belief, but here’s a roundup of the stuff I did manage to cram. Not only kdramas, though mostly that. (I’m probably forgetting some but these are all that come to mind rn.)

The Red Sleeve: Didn’t actually finish this because of the pain, but it was so well-made. Ambitious cinematography, great storytelling and acting. Lee Se-young really gave us the range; having only seen her poised and regal in The Crowned Clown before, I loved watching her goof off in between the angsty bits. A serve.

Hyena: I normally dislike law dramas, but the leads are so mesmerizing (and so attractive) that you root for them even when they do objectively evil work. Have never seen such palpable yearning between two characters. Jung Geum-ja is the Most.

Into the Ring: Goo Se-ra my beloved! I want more romances like this: haggard social worker and the social justice gremlin whose daily complaints he has to resolve. Enjoyed every second.

Rewatch of Kingdom and Ashin of the North: Just as brilliant as the first time around. Come on Netflix, now that HBO Max is collapsing in on itself, get with that blood and gore and get to work on season 3 already. I want to see Ashin go apeshit!!

Jodhaa Akbar: Seven months later and I still get tingly thinking about this romance. Akbar dueling Jodhaa to win her back, and showering her with jasmine petals mid-fight. Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai both looking so hot it should be illegal. A soundtrack to make the sun rise even in the bleak midwinter. This was my first visit to Mughal India but not my last! (Thank you @rain-hat for the recs, you are a gift to tumblrkind!)

My Liberation Notes: Okay I was so into the first half that I cannot even tell you. It burrowed into the darkest, weariest part of me and lit a match. But I did not care for Mr. Gu’s backstory and the ensuing foray into the criminal underworld, and somewhere around there it lost its heart.

Love Between Fairy and Devil: Jam packed with tropes. A surprisingly touching and very entertaining fantasy for the Hades/Persephone girlies. Great visuals, too!

Alchemy of Souls: Speaking of great visuals! I will admit that I hop skipped my way through much of part 1. The world-building is claustrophobically boring, which is a shame because it is so charmingly costumed. I adore the premise of a villain body-swapping into a nobody. There is some good acting in this and there is also some very bad acting. I am upset with part 2 for filing the fangs off my darling Naksu, but I do admit that the dark fairytale vibe has got me hooked. (Evil mothers sewing golden thread into the bare skin of their daughters! Our hero tormented by the furies of hell! A marriage of convenience to the resident goth! I am eating it up by the spoonful.)

Stranger Things: I feel like I am in the minority here so this is probably on me, but I thought this was the least scary and also least emotionally engaging season. I think the problem horror-wise was Vecna and that they showed him too soon and too often in his campy monster makeup. All the Russia stuff was boring af, and I didn’t like that the kids were separated all season. Eddie was however a most delightful addition to the gang. Rest in power, babygirl.

First Love/Hatsukoi: I hate amnesia plots, and I don’t understand why the characters deal with it the way they do here, or why it is never resolved or even treated as something in need of resolving. However, the leads are delightful together and their chemistry is out of this world. Would happily have watched many, many more episodes of this. (I ragged on the color-coded families to my husband, before we realized we both wore the exact same shade of burgundy. So now I’ve decided that it’s cute and not weird at all.)

Things I didn’t finish, but might pick back up some day:

Business Proposal: Chaebol heirs are such a turn off that I couldn’t even finish it for my girls.

Bloody Heart: I only saw a few episodes of this because it was so difficult to find a good stream anywhere online. Goddamn Mouse gatekeeping Jang Hyuk from me!!

Under The Queen’s Umbrella: Too many princes.

[screamingatanemptyroom]

One Shot Werewolf Story

So... first of all, Next part of PFTS should be coming out soon. It's going to take some work to make sure that I pull all the threads that's I've placed in all the worlds together without plot holes, so apologize for how long it's taking. Will probably finish this last world in 2-3 parts, with possibly 1 or two extra parts from Liam and the Traveler's perspective.

Now, back to the story at hand. About a week ago, I wandered into the werewolf side of Wattpad. It was very... interesting. Never written about werewolves before. Thought it might be fun to try my own using my own style. (Women who constantly think they aren't pretty or good enough for the man, men who force physical intimacy and growl "mine" aren't really going to work for me.)

Anyways, It's about a 13k oneshot. It's a bit out of my norm, so I hope you guys enjoy! (Also I would love to hear ideas on what to title this.)

Here it is:

________________________

“I can’t believe you read this garbage!” Alyssa’s coworker held up the book in her hand, staring at it with disgust. “What do you see in books like this, anyways?”

Alyssa sighed, looking up at the book in question. The cover showed a shirtless muscular man holding a busty woman while scowling at the camera, with the title written across the top in bright orange words: “The Alpha’s Timid Mate.”

“I don’t read it for fun.” She muttered, reaching up and snatching the book back. Opening the large roller suitcase behind her, she found its place among the hundreds of other werewolf books and put it away carefully.

“Then what is it?” Her coworker asked with a tone of disbelief.

“Research.”

“Really? Research? For what? When your werewolf boyfriend shows up out of nowhere? “ She let out a derisive snort. “Sure.”

“…You don’t understand.”

She doesn’t understand us. The wolf in Alyssa’s head spoke up silently.

“That’s what I said.”

Can we eat her? Her wolf seemed excited by the idea.

“No. You know we can’t. You don’t even really want to. You’re just acting out because you’re upset I won’t let you watch horror movies any more.”

I am not acting out! But since you mentioned it… bring back the horror movies!

“No.”

“What are you talking about?” Her coworker frowned; confused by the conversation she could only hear half of.

Turning to her briefly, Alyssa shrugged. “Sorry, I’m just having a small discussion. I’ll be free to talk shortly.”

“Don’t bother.” The girl walked away, whispering under her breath. “Freak.”

Should have just eaten her.

“Wolves don’t even eat people. Stop pretending.”

How do you know? Maybe WEREwolves DO eat people! You have no clue! You haven’t found a pack yet. Even though you PROMISED!

“I know, I know.” Alyssa rubbed her forehead tiredly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be.”

I’m lonely and bored! I want to go run! I want a pack!

“Anything else, Your Highness? A bone on a silver platter?”

The wolf paused at that, pouting quietly … I’m hungry. Feed us something tasty.

“That I can do. We’ll eat on our lunch break.”

Steak?

“…We’ll see.”

As her wolf silently cheered, the door to the bookstore she was tending opened. A strange smell reached her nose. Mint and pine along with another scent she couldn’t quite place.

Alyssa looked up and was startled. The man who walked in looked like he had stepped off the cover of one of her werewolf books. Muscular, handsome… his brown hair just long enough to frame his green eyes. And tall… Alyssa had always known she was short, but never felt quite so at a disadvantage height wise as she did at the man’s approach.

He looks like the lead from book #298. Her wolf suggested in an interested tone.

“I was thinking book #645, but I see your point.”

Why do you think he’s here?

“I don’t know.”

As he moved closer, his gaze meeting her own, Alyssa stepped back, the sound of her wolf’s growl filling her mind.

HE’S A WEREWOLF! … even better, he smells strong… an ALPHA? QUICK, MATE HIM!

An alpha? Crap. Alyssa had done enough research to know that was bad news. “Look here, missy, I am not assaulting some stranger just because…”

Then let’s switch over to wolf so I can do it!

“No!”

“Excuse me…” The man spoke up, his voice hesitant and trailing off.

Alyssa turned and hurried out the back. Passing through the bookshelves, she heard someone following close behind, and picked up the pace. The door squeaked loudly as she forced it open, slamming against the wall as she broke out into a run towards the back alley.

“Wait!” The man’s voice called out.

Seeing that they were now alone, she stopped in her tracks, and turned, more irritated than nervous. “What?”

“…” He seemed thrown off by her sudden change, but shook his head, studying her closely. The man seemed to recognize something, and moved quickly to stand next to her. “You’re…” His eyes widened, and he reached out to grab her. “A werewolf? My mate?!”

YES! I knew it! Her wolf’s scream of excitement echoed in her mind.

Alyssa sighed tiredly, reaching into her bag. “Well, crap.”

________________________

It had been a terrible day.

Lewis listened to his family arguing, wishing for the thousandth time that he wasn’t in charge.

“Nightfang’s pack could wipe us out!” Gary, his Beta, slammed his fist on the table, the force of it scattering plates and cups.

Lewis’s mother stood up, and despite her height only coming only to the enormous man’s chin he shrunk down in fear. “…Did you just mess up my kitchen?”

“…”

“Then you’re gonna be a good boy and clean that up right now, yes?” She raised an eyebrow. “Or you won’t have to worry about that Nightfang pack. There won’t be enough of you left for them to fight over once I’m through.”

“…I’ll clean it up right away, Ma’am.”

“That’s what I thought.” She turned to Lewis, patting his shoulder comfortingly. “What’s you plan to deal with this, dear?”

“My plan?” His voice came out slightly more stressed than he meant it to.

“Well, you’re the alpha. Your father left it to you to protect us. “

“Yes. Of course… a plan… which I definitely have.”

Gary and his mate Berta glanced at each other from the other side of the table.

“He doesn’t have a plan.”

“Did you really expect him to?”

“Hey!” At Lewis’s hurt exclamation, Gary shrugged.

“No offense, Alpha, but since your broth… since Nightfang left and took half the pack with him, things have been a little disorganized. You have to admit that’s true.”

Lewis walked over to the window of the cabin, leaning on the sill and staring up at the cloudy sky. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to help each other. Help the pack. But now it’s all just one huge mess and I’m the only one left to take care of it.

Hey, you’re not alone! His wolf’s irritated voice burst out. I’m always here. We’re stuck together for life!

I’m aware. He chuckled quietly. Glad to have you, Buddy.

So… Can we go find our mate now?

You know we can’t. There could be an attack any day now. Besides, I’ve already visited all the packs within driving distance. She’s not there.

Maybe she’s human, like our mom. We should go to town and find her.

Yeah, just go to town and pick up a mate like going to the grocery store to pick up milk. No problem with that.

She’s probably waiting for us! She’s wondering what’s taking us so long to find her. What if she thinks we can’t provide for her? Hurry, you have to find her…. Bring steak… no… four steaks… fatty ones! It will show that we can feed her… make her fat! She’ll definitely want to mate with us then!

Nothing turns women on more than shoving red meat in their face and telling them that you’ll help them gain weight.

Like you would know? Who have you dated? Regale me with tales of your vast experience.

Hey! You haven’t dated either.

I have instincts, at least.

“Lewis?” Gary’s voice broke him from his silent talk with his wolf.

He turned back “We’ll tighten up the patrol schedule.” He rubbed his forehead.

“It will mean giving up territory.”

“I’m aware.” The words came out as a growl. Territory was everything. In the old days it was a pack’s survival. The instinct to protect it at all costs remained, but Lewis had no choice. “Their safety matters more.”

The pack has to be protected first.

Agree. His wolf sounded unhappy, but stood by him, as always.

“Alright then. Continue with training, and preparing for if Nightfang brings his pack for war.” Lewis sighed. “Hopefully they’ll wait until the colder weather passes.”

Although it might be just delaying the inevitable.

“You are all dismissed.” As he stood up, however, his mother stopped him with a smile.

“Can you pick up some milk, dear? I’m out.”

“… Sure, Mom.” He held back a laugh thinking about his conversation with his wolf, knowing that no one else would get the joke. Maybe I’ll pick up my mate while I’m there.

He headed into town.

As he parked his car and walked towards the supermarket, however, his wolf suddenly started shouting in his head.

She’s here!

Lewis frowned. Who? Nightfang or one of his followers?

No, you idiot! Our mate!

Where? He skidded to a halt, staring around frantically. His heart started to race, as he prepared to meet his soulmate… the one he had been waiting for his entire life.

In the bookstore! His wolf wasn’t much better, barely able to communicate in its excitement.

He opened the door, ignoring the soft chime that sounded out to alert a new customer’s arrival. His eyes scanned the room, trying to spot… something. A familiar face, a special feeling. How do you know if someone is your mate…?

His silent voice trailed off in shock as he stared at… her.

She was beautiful.

Dark curls, the tips just barely brushing her shoulders. She was short… very short. He felt awkwardly tall, wondering if she would dislike his height. She seemed to be packing a book into a suitcase, but then turned to face him.

Her grey eyes widened at the sight of him.

Does she feel it too?

QUICK, FEED HER!

With what?!!! I don’t have any food!

Why didn’t you bring the steaks?!!! Now she’s going to think we’re weak and she’ll starve as our mate! What if she leaves us?!!

Human women don’t need steaks for courtship… watch.

Lewis cleared his throat. “Excuse me…”

She turned and rushed out of the store.

…

…

…You were saying?

…Maybe you were right about the steaks.

He followed her out to the back of the shop, cringing at the suspicious looks that the customers in the shop gave him.

I’m chasing after a girl into a back alley. I’ll be lucky if no one calls the cops.

She’s our mate! We could never hurt her!

They don’t know that. She might not even know that!

To his shock she stopped and turned around once they were out of the store. Placing her hands on her hips, she glared at him. “What?”

“…” She was even more mesmerizing up close. Lewis nervously cleared his throat, stepping closer.

Her scent filled his senses. Lilac and spring and… wolf?

She’s a werewolf! That’s awesome! Let’s shift and show her how strong our wolf form is. It’s much better looking than the human look.

“You’re…” Feeling stunned, he reached out, wanting to touch her, to hold her hand. “A werewolf? My mate?”

This is amazing! His mate, his soulmate was standing right in front of him. Would she be happy too? Was she excited to meet us?

She didn’t seem shocked. Didn’t seem happy either… or angry, or afraid. Her face just showed mild… annoyance?

Does she not feel the bond?

“Well, crap.”

As she spoke out with a matter of fact tone, Lewis’s hand neared her shoulder, only to spasm and drop as he fell to the ground shaking. His mate stood over him, staring down at him blankly, the Taser in her hand still sparking.

Well, crap. He silently echoed his mate’s words as darkness overcame him.

________________________

Alyssa sat on her favorite chair, holding her favorite mug, drinking her favorite tea, wrapped in her favorite blanket, hoping it would improve her mood.

It wasn’t working.

Mostly due to the large man on her living room floor, just now waking up from the effects of her Taser… and the large animal sedative she stuck him with after he went down. He blinked his eyes, seeming confused and disoriented.

He’s adorable. I bet his wolf is good looking! Can you ask him to shift? Her wolf hadn’t shut up since they met the other werewolf.

“Shush. He’s waking up now. It would be rude to ask him before we’ve talked. “

Spoilsport. At least show him all the hamburger meat we have frozen.

“Why would he want to see our hamburger meat?”

THAT will show him how effective we are at gathering food! We can be an asset to his pack! If he doesn’t have a pack he should follow us around, and we can fatten him up! … he’s too skinny.

“He’s not skinny… he’s very muscular.”

What if there’s not enough prey in the winter? His muscles will go away. He should have a nice little layer of fat.

“Do not fatten him up! I like him like this.”

“Excuse me?” The man on her living room floor struggled to sit up. Leaning back against her TV stand, he blinked a few more times, obviously still fighting off the tranquilizer. Looking around, he just seemed more confused. “Where am I?”

“My home.” Alyssa told him, taking another sip of her tea.

“Ah.” He paused, awkwardly shifting his weight and raising his hands which were tied together with silver chains, like his ankles. “Why am I tied up?”

“…” She stared at him silently a few moments. “You’re a werewolf.”

“…Yes. So are you?”

“You said I was your mate.”

He blushed at that, avoiding eye contact. “Sorry. I know that was awkward. I was surprised. I’ve been looking for years since I reached adulthood.”

“You’re an alpha?”

“Yes.” Straightening his spine, he forced a cocky looking grin. “A strong alpha of a great pack.”

“So now you know why you’re tied up.”

“…pardon?”

Alyssa rolled her eyes. “I’ve done enough research to know when an alpha finds his mate, it tends to get physical… and non-consensual… real quick.”

He still seemed confused. “Research?”

She set down her tea and blanket and dragged over the enormous roller suitcase. Opening it, she displayed hundreds of paperback romance books. She pulled one out, showing off the cover, which showed a half-naked muscular man holding a woman tightly as she half-heartedly pushed him away.

The bound man looked at the picture. “The Reluctant Mate of an Alpha? What is this?”

“There are 983 books on werewolves in my possession.” She pulled out her notebook, quickly flipping to the “alpha” section. “88% of them feature an alpha werewolf as the male lead… and 92% of those characters force their mate to engage in physical intimacy… mostly hugging and kissing… within the first few minutes of meeting them.”

“You… you’re getting your information from romance books?” He looked horrified. “Where’s your pack?”

“No pack. Abandoned as a baby. I grew up in the foster system.”

A low angry growl sounded from his chest. “What pack abandons a child?!”

“The kind of pack that I’m probably better off being abandoned than raised by.” She tapped the book again. “Back to the fact that I’m apparently the mate to an alpha wolf.”

“Not apparently!” He looked distressed still. “You ARE! Can’t you sense it?”

She ignored him, putting the book back carefully. “You know that alpha wolves aren’t even a natural thing… only happens with wolves in captivity. Wolves in the wild tend to form family units. “

“…But we aren’t normal wolves? We wouldn’t have the exact same pack structure.”

“Exactly. Thus I can’t use my wolf encyclopedia to gain information.” She frowned. “That would have been preferable, honestly. I don’t really like the alphas in these stories.”

If you’re not going to mate with him… can we eat him?

“Stop asking to eat people. You know the answer.”

Lewis’s eyes grew wide. “Did you say ‘eat PEOPLE?”

“Don’t worry. There’s a strict ‘no eating people’ rule. It’s just a phase she’s gone through since I let her watch 80s horror werewolf flicks. She thinks its funny, but its not. “ She threw her hands up helplessly. “This is WHY we are on a horror movie ban!”

This is unfair!

“It’s perfectly fair! Even if you ignore the moral implications, you wouldn’t even like the taste of human flesh!”

What about hot sauce? Didn’t you say hot sauce makes every thing taste better?

“Yes… hot sauce does make everything taste better.”

“Wait… are you going to EAT me?” Lewis questioned with a panicked tone, scooting backwards closer to the door.

“No. I told you, there’s a firm ‘no eating people’ rule in place. We’re done discussing that.”

“But…”

“We’re discussing whether or not hot sauce would make your flesh taste better if we ate you… hypothetically.”

“Oh.” He thought it over. “I do like hot sauce. But I don’t think wolves do.”

“No. It would give them diarrhea, probably.” Alyssa nodded. “See. Even hot sauce wouldn’t help.”

Then if we aren’t going to eat him, can we please just MATE with him?

“No eating. No mating.”

“Wait, can we not put a strict no mating rule in place just yet? At least not a permanent one?” He paused. “Also, if I promise not to engage in any alpha behaviors like you see in your ‘research’, can I please be untied?”

“…” She studied him warily. “I suppose.”

“Great!” He held out his wrists, smiling with relief as she started to untie him.

“I have plenty of tranquilizer anyways.” She muttered.

“…pardon?”

The bonds slipped free. The man rubbed his wrists, careful to not make any sudden movements. Relieved by his apparent honesty in not trying anything, Alyssa headed back to her chair and wrapped herself back in her blanket.

Grabbing her tea, she took a sip of the lukewarm liquid and smiled. “So what brought the great alpha into my place of work today? Were you looking for me?”

________________________

Lewis was unsure how to answer his mate. Panicking, he said the first thing he thought of.

“Actually I was going to go buy milk.”

She raised an eyebrow. “In the bookstore?”

“Yes! I mean, no!” He covered in his face. “I was on my way to the supermarket, when my wolf… sensed you.”

She tilted her head, seeming more interested. “Your wolf? What’s he like?”

TELL HER I AM VERY STRONG!

“Umm… he’s strong…”

TELL HER I CAN MAKE HER FAT!!

No!

How else will she know I can provide food for her and our children?!

No. I’m not saying we’ll make her fat!

ITS IMPORTANT! TELL HER HOW FAT WE CAN MAKE HER!

“Are you okay?”

“WE’LL MAKE YOU REALLY FAT!” Lewis blurted out… and then stared at the ground in embarrassed horror.

“…” There was a long silence.

“My wolf says that’s very attractive.” She shook her head. “She wants you to know that we have several pounds of hamburger in our freezer and that we are happy to contribute food to you and your family.”

She’s smart and stores plenty of meat in her freezer! Please convince her to stay as our mate!

“So would you like to come visit our pack? He asked, wincing as she pulled what appeared to be a miniature Taser out of thin air. “Just visiting! No mating!” He relaxed as she hid the Taser away again “…Where were you even keeping that?”

“Secret pocket in the sleeve…. It’s not my only one, so don’t think I’ve given you any advantage.”

Lewis tried to think of something that would appeal to her. “I know you don’t have a pack… it would be a chance to get to know others like you… “

“… I would be able to refine my research…” She muttered, staring down at her notebook. “Plus my wolf really wants to…”

SHE’S GOING TO SAY YES!

Shush!

“Sure. Why not?” She shrugged, holding out her hand. “I guess we should officially meet if we’re going back to your pack together. I’m Alyssa.”

Alyssa! Her name is pretty!

“Nice to meet you Alyssa.” Lewis smiled brightly. “I’m Lewis.” He shook her hand, trying to stay calm at the shocking feeling of touching her. It was almost painful, as if every cell in his body were screaming at him that he’s met his soulmate. Overwhelmed, confused, he glanced over at his mate, only to see her calm expression.

Does she not feel this? Are we just delusional?

She’s our mate! Of course she feels it!

She’s not acting like it. Maybe we’re wrong? Lewis felt a stabbing pain in his chest at the thought. She was his mate. He had waited his whole life to meet her. He belonged to her.

What if she doesn’t want us?

… His wolf didn’t have an answer to that.

Maybe she can sense our weakness… our failure.

No… we’re not weak! We’re alpha of a strong pack!

That’s fallen apart because most of them felt I wasn’t the best one for the job.

We have to be strong. We can’t fail our pack or our mate. Don’t show weakness!

I’ll try.

Lewis forced a calm smile as he looked at Alyssa. “Should we head over and meet the pack?”

“Hmm… Aren’t you forgetting something?” She angled her head, studying him.

“What?”

“Didn’t you say you were on your way to pick up milk when you met me?”

“OH SHOOT!” He jumped to his feet. “I’m glad you said something! You saved my life!”

“By remembering milk?”

“You don’t realize how horrible my death would be at my mom’s hands if I had forgotten it.”

“…” She raised an eyebrow, a slight smile at the corner of her mouth. “You’re welcome, then.”

I like her smile! Let’s help make her smile more!

Agree.

Lewis ran to pick up some milk while she packed a bag for the trip. When he returned, he was shocked by the number of suitcases she had brought with her.

“Are all these clothes?”

“Don’t be silly.” She looked at him like he was an idiot. “It’s my research.”

He was almost afraid to ask, but felt he had to. “… They’re all filled with werewolf romance books… aren’t they?

“Not just books… “ Alyssa seemed a little defensive. “There’s some weapons. And a few changes of clothes.”

“If you’re staying a few days at least, do you need to take off work?”

She shook her head. “No need.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. “

“…Okay.” He didn’t want to pry. At least not yet. Maybe one day she’ll trust us enough to tell us more.

He packed her bags into the car, glad for his superhuman strength as he lifted the suitcases filled to the brim with books. Alyssa sat in the passenger seat, clutching a notebook and a small messenger bag, which also appeared to be filled with books. As they headed outside of town, an awkward silence fell between them.

Say something witty! His wolf finally lost patience with Something that will make her think we’re smart!

Open to any suggestions, Buddy. I’m having trouble thinking straight with our mate so close, much less think of something smart to say!

Aren’t you supposed to be the more intelligent half? I’m supposed to be the stronger one.

You’re the one always saying that wolves are super intelligent creatures and I should listen to you more!

Now we’re being silent for too long! What if she thinks we’re an idiot?!

You’re not helping…

“So how do werewolves mate?” Alyssa asked calmly, the question almost causing Lewis to swerve off the road in shock.

“…”

…

“Sorry, I don’t think I heard you. Could you repeat the question?”

“How do werewolves mate?”

… I think I preferred the awkward silence.

No! This is good! She’s showing an interest in mating!

“Umm… Not differently than humans… you learned about that in health class, right?” He desperately hoped he would not have to have a “birds and bees” talk with his mate right after meeting her.

“Oh.” She sounded slightly disappointed. “So we don’t mate in wolf form?”

I’m game.

SHUT UP.

“Typically no… I mean I guess it’s possible…” He felt himself turn bright red, feeling super uncomfortable. “But usually its in human form… at least from my understanding of what mated couples say.”

“Hmm..” She seemed to be listening to something. “No, I don’t think his wolf is impotent. I think it’s a cultural thing.”

HER WOLF THINKS I’M IMPOTENT, WE’RE SHIFTING NOW!

We are currently driving down a highway! We are not shifting any time soon! Besides, what on earth do you think you’re going to do in wolf form that’s going to convince her otherwise?

I’ll show her my genitals, to reassure her.

THAT DOES NOT REASSURE WOMEN! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TASED?!

“So I bet that means that werewolf pregnancy follows human rules then. “ She sighed, frowning while pulling out her notebook and writing a few things down. “There was only 3% of books that presented mating and pregnancy while in wolf form, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“… I see.”

“How long does pregnancy last? 19% of the books depict a shorter pregnancy cycle, but I wasn’t sure if it was just to get the plot to move faster.”

“Normal 9 months.”

“Number of children per pregnancy?”

“One… unless you have twins.”

She groaned, leaning back in her chair. “So no advantages at all? So disappointing.”

SHE’S DISAPOINTED! TELL HER TWINS RUN IN OUR FAMILY! WE’LL GIVE HER SO MANY CHILDREN!

“Twins run in our family!” Lewis nearly shouted.

“Really?” Alyssa studied him, looking slightly interested. “Do you have a twin?”

Great. I really had to bring HIM up.

“I do… but he left the pack.”

“Does that happen often?”

“No.”

“I see…” She made a few more notes. “Obviously the villain.”

“…” I mean, she’s not wrong. “Any other questions?” Please be something easy.

“Will mating with another werewolf change my menstrual cycle?”

“…”

…

Do you know?

Nope. Nothing in the instincts about this. Do you?

Nope.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, I don’t know the answer to that question. One of the pack might be able to answer it. Maybe Bridget? She seems pretty knowledgeable.”

“Bridget? Your sister?”

“No… she’s just one of the warriors in the pack..”

“Hmm…” Alyssa thought that over. “Is she pretty?”

Lewis shrugged. “Seems pretty normal.”

“Do you two get along?”

“She follows orders, so I guess?”

“I see.” He could hear her pen scratching against paper again. “The female side character who will try to chase we away, maybe? How exciting.”

“…” Lewis decided he didn’t want to ask anything about it. For the sake of his sanity if nothing else.

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence.

________________________

Alyssa felt increasingly nervous the closer they got to pack territory.

I think we’re almost there. This area smells different.

“Different how?”

It smells like our mate! I like it!

“Hmm… Do you think he pees on trees to mark his territory?”

Isn’t that normal?

“It’s normal for wolves… do you think he does it in human form too?”

“I DON’T MARK TERRITORY AS A HUMAN!” Lewis spoke out frantically. “Can you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!”

She turned to him, curious by his reaction. “Don’t you talk to your wolf?”

“All the time, but I do it SILENTLY!” He paused. “Do you not know how to?”

“Oh I know how to, I just think it’s really rude to leave her out of the general conversation. She’s here too you know.”

“That makes sense… I guess…” He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Well, I assume you know since you were commenting on the scent markings, but yes, we’re in pack territory. “

Alyssa nodded, her heart rate increasing slightly. She didn’t like this. Going to unfamiliar places. Meeting new people. Especially people who may have a culture or rules that she didn’t understand. They might not like her.

How could they not love us? We’re a strong, beautiful female… at least when we’re in wolf form.

“Hey!”

We’ll be just fine.

“I hope so.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves.

A warm hand hesitantly grasped her own. She felt an electric shock traveling up her fingers from the touch, but kept her face expressionless. “Are you okay?” Lewis’s voice was quiet, a comforting sound.

I like his voice. His touch his very warm!

“If you’re worried… I know that you might not believe me, but the pack is very friendly. You’ll feel very welcome.”

“In 42% of the books the pack is welcoming to a stranger… usually because she’s the alpha’s mate. In the rest they are either wary of the unknown person, or distrustful or unfriendly. “ She thought it over. “I guess it’s not bad odds.”

The car came to a stop. Lewis squeezed her hand one last time, and then stepped out, getting her suitcases from the trunk and back seat. Alyssa stared down at her now empty hand, feeling frustrated.

I trust him.

“You trust everyone. It’s my job to keep us safe.” She got out of the car, staring around at the area. There were several nice houses, all scattered far from each other. The place was quiet, peaceful, surrounded by woods. She liked it.

He won’t hurt us. He can’t. It would be like hurting himself.

“You’d be surprised how low people can sink if they want.”

No I wouldn’t. I lived through all the same experiences with you. But wolves do better with a family. We’ll do better with a pack.

“I haven’t agreed to that yet.”

We’ll see.

Lewis carried her many bags without seeming stressed by the weight. “I’ll bring these into the main house. Do you want to come along? Or you can wait here, I can show you around.”

She glanced around at the forest around her. “I’ll wait here.”

“Ok. I’ll be right back.” He looked slightly worried about separating from her, but after a brief hesitation, he walked away.

Alyssa strolled around the clearing by the car, feeling calmer as she took in the fresh air.

I like it here. We should live here.

“We’ll see.”

Also mate Lewis before another female gets him.

“I don’t think that’s how it works. In 82% of the books, being mates meant soul mates. Only small exceptions made for if mates rejected each other and such… for the drama, I suppose. “

Don’t take chances. Even with an impotent wolf we should claim him sooner rather than later. He has fatty steaks in his house. I can smell them.

“That’s what’s important to you? And I told you, I don’t think his wolf is impotent…”

“WHO ARE YOU?” A strident voice called out.

Alyssa turned to see a beautiful young woman walking towards her with a suspicious expression. She had shorter, curly blond hair and bright green eyes, towering over her in height. Alyssa sighed slightly as she realized she would probably be the shortest werewolf here by a good amount.

We’re short but feisty! Don’t underestimate us!

“I’m Alyssa.” She waved cheerfully. “Who are you?”

“…” The young woman seemed confused. “Bridget.”

The bitch side character! Maybe she’ll shout at us to “stay away from her man!”

“You don’t know that. Maybe she’s nice. She’s pretty.”

She is pretty… but it would be more fun if she were hysterical and tried to scare us off.

“…Who are you talking to?”

“My wolf.” Alyssa grinned at her. “She’s wondering if you are going to scream at us and tell us to stay away from Lewis.”

The woman seemed stunned. “Why would I do that?”

“All the books have it.” She pulled out her notebook and spread out the books from her messenger bag. Holding up one where a woman in a ripped dress stood next to a large wolf titled “The Alpha’s Runaway Love”, she pointed to a smaller, angry looking woman in the background of the cover. “See… in 79% of these stories there’s a strong female side character who is desperately in love with the alpha despite him being mated to the main character and tries to drive her away.”

“… Are those… romance novels….?”

“But I really hope you aren’t that character type. I think you seem like an awesome older sister type.” She stepped closer, which highlighted the height difference between them. “We’ve always wanted a cool, pretty older sister like you. “

“…” Bridget seemed genuinely overwhelmed. “Umm… first of all… I don’t want to scare you away from Lewis… I grew up with the guy. He wet the bed once when I slept over when we were five… ruined my favorite princess sheets…”

Alyssa started taking notes.

“I was just curious about who you were…” She rested a hand on Alyssa’s head, almost seemingly despite herself. “Are you Lewis’ mate?”

“Yep! He found me in a bookstore.” She paused. “Do you know if mating with a werewolf changes your menstrual cycle? I asked Lewis, but he seemed like he was having a seizure and said he didn’t know.”

“…” Bridgett’s face spasmed at that, she seemed to be holding back a laugh.

“Also… I brought hamburger meat… do you want some? “

“So…” Bridget’s voice trailed off.

“So?” Alyssa tilted her head, confused.

“SO CUTE!!!” Alyssa was pulled into an enormous bear hug, squeezed almost uncomfortably tight as Bridget continued to yell. “YOU’RE ADOPTED!”

“What are you doing with my mate?” Lewis’s strained voice made Alyssa want to look over, but she was still trapped in the hug.

“She’s my little sister now, Alpha.” Bridget’s voice was calm, but stern. “If anything happens to her, I will destroy you.”

Alyssa smiled at her as the tall woman set her down. “Really?”

“Really.” Bridget grinned back. “I’ve always wanted a sister too.”

“Awesome!”

As the two girls began chatting excitedly, Lewis cleared his throat. “Guys? I hate to break up the love here, but the pack is gathering to meet Alyssa.”

He walked over towards Alyssa, stopping in his tracks as Bridget grabbed her first and tugged her in the correct direction. “Come on, let’s hurry up! I can’t wait to introduce you to them!”

“She’s MY mate! I want to introduce her!”

“Too bad, so sad, bedwetter! If you weren’t so slow maybe you could have grabbed her first.” She laughed.

“Hey, you promised never to mention that again! What if you scare my mate away?!”

“Even better, she’ll just live with me and my family.”

As they moved, Alyssa tapped her arm, leaning close. “Is this really okay?”

“Is what okay?”

“I mean… he’s your alpha… is it okay to be like this with him?”

Bridget smiled. “Don’t worry. He’s a good alpha… a strong fighter, a capable leader… but he’s very kind. He prefers his pack feel comfortable enough to joke around with him. Says if they can trust him enough to make fun of him that it means they’ll trust him enough to have the uncomfortable conversations as well.”

He’s a good leader.

“Maybe…”

Let’s mate him!

Alyssa groaned at the expected response from her wolf, shaking her head slowly.

They arrived in a clearing in the woods, where twenty or thirty people had gathered. Everyone looked very different, with skin tones, eye and hair color varying widely from person to person. People of all ages chatted excitedly, watching their approach. They did have one thing in common though:

They were all tall.

We’re… tall… too.

“We’re short.” Feeling uncomfortable, she hid behind Bridget, who growled at the crowd.

“Don’t you guys make my sister uncomfortable! Sit down, you’re scaring her.”

The crowd looked very confused at that, but sat down on the grass anyways. Besides the three of them, only one man remained standing. He was enormous, a head taller than even Lewis, who Alyssa already considered very tall. He was broad as well as tall, his muscles nearly bursting out of the flannel shirt he was wearing. His face was covered in a bushy beard, his dark hair cropped close.

Overall Alyssa thought he looked very intimidating. She watched as he approached, a hand grasping her hidden Taser in her sleeve.

“This is my Beta Gary.” Lewis’s calm voice was reassuring, but she refused to relax her vigilance as the large man bent down to look her in the eye. “Gary, this is my mate, Alyssa.”

“Hey there, Alyssa.” The hair-covered face broke into a friendly smile. “We’ve been hoping Lewis would find a nice mate for a while now. Glad you’re here. If anyone gives you trouble you let me know, I’ll knock a few heads in.”

Alyssa grinned back at him. “Nice to meet you, Gary. You’re really large.”

Ask him if we can sit on his shoulder! I want to be tall!

“It would be rude to ask to sit on his shoulder right after meeting him. We’ll ask him later.”

But…

Before her wolf could complain too much, Gary reached out and picked her up easily, placing her on one broad shoulder and steadying her with a single hand. “How’s this?”

Alyssa looked around. “This is GREAT!” She laughed.

Bow before us mortals! WE ARE TALL!

“My wolf is very happy right now. She was sad that we were so much shorter than everyone.”

HEY! You were sad too!

“Well you can ride on my shoulder anytime you want.” Gary laughed. “My mate Berta and I always wanted kids, but…” his voice trailed off slightly. “Well, anyways, feel free to come to us if you ever need help.”

“OR ME!” Bridget burst out. “I’ve already claimed her as my little sister!”

Lewis stared at the three of them, looking slightly tired. “Do I get any time with her as her mate?”

Gary and Bridget glanced at each other. “… We’ll see.”

Putting Alyssa down in front of the pack, Gary winked at her as if to reassure her before taking his place standing behind the Alpha. Lewis stepped forward, his manner becoming stronger, more confident as he addressed the crowd.

“Everyone, this is my mate Alyssa. She’s one of us, but she doesn’t have a pack. So I expect you all to make her feel safe and welcome.” He looked around, smiling as everyone nodded obediently.

“Welcome!”

“We’re glad you’re here!”

“Maybe Lewis will stop moping so much now!”

The cheerful voices of the pack made Alyssa feel calmer. She waved at them, speaking up. “Hey everyone! Like Lewis said, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know much about werewolves… I’ve only grown up around humans, but I’m excited to learn more.”

They seem nice.

Her wolf was happy about the packs’ reactions. No one seemed thrown off by her introduction. No one was glaring at her or even seeming suspicious of her.

It’s a good thing, right?

Before she could respond, Lewis spoke up, distracting her. “Let’s take you back to meet my mom.”

________________________

Lewis was relieved that the pack introduction went so well. Not that he was overly surprised; most of the more disagreeable pack members had left in the split with his brother. Who was left were either the ones too reasonable to be sucked into his rhetoric, or the very loyal ones to himself or his father.

Either way, I guess it’s a good thing.

He led his mate towards his house, breathing a small sigh of relief when Bridget and Gary didn’t insist on following. He liked them both a lot, but they could be a lot. Especially since they seemed to have instantly bonded with Alyssa.

Just admit it. We’re jealous. We want to bond with Alyssa too.

We don’t know what all she’s been through. She was abandoned by her pack as an infant. Her only knowledge of us doesn’t paint Alpha’s in a good light… or at least they don’t seem to. Lewis resolved to get his hands on some of those books and read through this. It might help us understand how she views us… and how to reassure her.

I like her. His wolf’s voice was filled with a patient care. Even if she doesn’t like us just yet, I hope she’s happy and feels safe here.

I do too. Lewis desperately wanted to reassure his mate. He could feel her anxiety through the bond. Even when she was smiling she didn’t feel safe. But he didn’t know how to help just yet.

They reached the house, and as they were about to enter, the door swung open and Lewis’s mother rushed out. Making a beeline for Alyssa, she hugged her tightly, grinning.

“I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE HERE!”

Alyssa seemed shocked at the sudden appearance of his mother. Lewis tried to step in. “Mom, don’t scare her…”

“Finally someone normal sized!” Alyssa burst out, hugging his mother back.

“I know, right? They’re all way too tall!” Lewis’s mother stepped back, patting her head fondly. “I forgive them since they’re all such good people, but still, I’m happy to have someone I don’t have to strain my neck to look at.”

“Mom, this is Alyssa, my mate.”

“I figured as much dear. You’ve never paid so much attention and care to a single person before. “ She grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Come in, I made food.”

Our mother understands! She’ll show our mate how much food we can provide!

Alyssa glanced at him. “My wolf wants to make sure that the hamburger meat we brought got put in the fridge.”

“I took care of it.” Lewis puffed out his chest, feeling accomplished.

His mother just shook her head. “Boys. Why don’t you take her bags up to the room next to mine while I get her something to pad her stomach?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He grabbed the suitcases full of books, weapons and clothes and rushed up the stairs. Her room was on the opposite end of the house from him, right next to his mother’s rooms.

Why is she staying so far away from us? His wolf whined in his head. What if something happens? How will we protect her?

She already doesn’t trust us. Hopefully the living arrangements will make her less nervous. If she doesn’t like it, she might go stay with Bridget instead. Do you want that?

No. Stupid Bridgett. She brought up the bedwetting incident. Our childhood shame bared in front of our mate! What if she doesn’t like us now?

We were young. I can’t imagine she would hold it against us… although yes, it is very embarrassing.

As he neared the kitchen once more, he overheard Alyssa and his mother talking. About to announce his arrival, his mouth slammed shut as he heard his mate’s question.

“So Lewis’ brother is a villain, right?”

“…” His mother sighed. “How much has he told you?”

“Just that he has a twin, and he’s not with the pack.”

“Well, I guess you haven’t known each other long… you’ll hear it anyways, might as well be from me, since he’s my son.” She sat down at the counter, rubbing her forehead tiredly.

“I had three children, actually. Twins boys and a younger girl. My husband was the Alpha of the Western pack, and although it’s not set in stone, usually one of the children of the Alpha will inherit the position.”

Lewis could hear Alyssa’s pen moving as she frantically took notes. He silently laughed, even as his chest hurt at the sound of his mother’s disappointed tone, leaning against the wall to hear how she would describe their situation.

“Now, I’m not a werewolf, you know. I’m a human who happened to be mates with a werewolf. So maybe I didn’t instill the idea of pack values as strongly as I could have.” She sighed. “Lewis seemed to get it naturally. He got hurt when he was ten… the first time he transformed, just to protect an elderly pack member who was being attacked. He’s got a large scar on his left elbow from a hunter’s arrow. Werewolves heal well… but the scars remain.”

My other son… Benjamin… he wasn’t nearly as concerned about the pack’s well being. Just obsessed with being strong. Being in charge. My daughter Emily seemed to feel very similar.”

“Seems pretty Alpha-like… at least how the books describe them.”

“But that’s the thing. Alphas SHOULD be strong. My mate was very strong, in fact. But their strength exists to protect and feed the pack. Strength and power for its own sake has no purpose… and often leads down a dangerous pack.”

“…”

“My mate died.” His mother whispered, the pain in her voice breaking Lewis’s heart. “Lung cancer. Even werewolves can die from disease. They heal… but not fast enough for more aggressive wounds or diseases. They’re not immortal.”

“I’m sorry.” Alyssa seemed genuinely concerned. “How did you survive losing your mate?”

“It helps that I’m human.” Her voice was still quiet. “The pain is still there…it’s like a piece of your soul missing. But I had family, pack … people who needed me to keep waking up each morning. And I’m glad I have.”

“So what happened next?”

“My mate’s will left the pack to Lewis.” His mother shrugged, turning back to stir the contents of a pot on the stove. “It was an obvious choice to us. He is strong, careful… puts the pack first.”

“But Benjamin didn’t agree?”

“He rebelled. Said Lewis was weak. Tried to fight him, but was pushed back by the loyal members of the pack. In the end he took almost half the pack with him to start a new one… including my daughter who also thought Lewis was too weak to lead.”

“…” Alyssa was silent. Lewis leaned against the wall, desperately trying to sense his mate’s emotions. Was she disappointed in him? Did she think he was a failure.

“He goes by Nightfang now… his group is our pack’s greatest threat.”

“…” Suddenly in the silent kitchen, Alyssa chuckled. “Seriously? Nightfang? Did he think that was a cool name?”

Lewis’s mother laughed too. “I know, right. I mean, it’s a serious situation and all, but seriously… he sounds like a villain in a Saturday morning cartoon.” She looked over, and chuckled again. “Alright, Lewis. Stop hiding around the corner and come join the conversation.”

Shamefully, Lewis ducked his head and entered the kitchen. He noticed Alyssa didn’t seem surprised by his presence.

She probably can sense when we’re nearby. It means our bond is slightly stronger!

It also means she knows we were eavesdropping like a creep!

Well we were… not like it’s much better if she doesn’t know.

“So…” He spoke up, trying to appear less awkward. “Can I help with dinner at all, Mom?”

She smiled, reaching up high to pat his head as well. “I’m pretty much done. How about after we eat you show her around the territory?”

Alyssa seemed a little more relaxed, to Lewis’s relief. “I’d like that.”

WE GET TO SPEND TIME WITH HER! THIS IS GREAT!

Play it cool! She already knows that half the pack left because we’re too weak to convince them we’re a good Alpha. If we look like an idiot too…

OH SHUT UP! His wolf snapped at it. Don’t pretend you’re not super excited. We’re the same person!

…Stupid wolf.

Silly human.

... Lewis was excited. So excited he could hardly breathe. His mate was right here, in front of him. She was smart, beautiful, friendly… at least to everyone else… more than he could have ever dared to dream of.

I just want her to like us… any ideas?

I still vote for bringing her food or showing her our genitals. .

… Never mind… I’ll think of something.

________________________

A few weeks passed.

Alyssa sat on the cool grass, watching Lewis in wolf form teaching some of the younger pack members how to fight.

“Watch out for each other.” His voice resounded her mind. “You can’t be so focused on the enemy that you lose track of what’s behind you.”

Having never spent any time prior to this visit around other werewolves, she was interested to find that although she did understand some of wolf language – a combination of scents, sounds and body language – the majority of the time werewolves simply spoke through mental communication.

Lewis batted one of the young wolves aside, snapping at another’s flank and using his weight to push a third to the ground, baring his teeth. The fallen wolf whimpered slightly, more with frustration than pain.

“Alpha, I thought we had to focus all of our attention on the attack, and not stop until the enemy was dead?” The youngest of the three, a male wolf named Teddy, finally spoke up, his tail between his legs. “How are we supposed to do that AND watch our backs?”

“Who told you that?” Lewis seemed shocked. “You are nothing without your pack! Only by working together and looking out for each other will you be at your strongest.”

“It was Uncle Ben…mmph” Teddy’s voice was muffled as the other two wolves tackled him.

“Sorry Alpha, he’s a little dumb.” Teddy’s sister Lara apologized, grinding her brother’s muzzle into the dirt with a paw. “Of course we aren’t going to follow what the traitor Nightfang taught us.”

“But LARA…”

“SHUT UP and let me get us out of this, idiot!”

Lewis stared at them for a few minutes, and then laughed silently in our heads. “It’s okay. I know he was in charge of teaching fighting for years. It’s a different strategy, but give my idea a shot before you dismiss it, okay?”

“YES ALPHA!” The three younger wolves shouted in unison.

“…” Alyssa studied Lewis with a thoughtful expression. He was kind enough to the pups, even when they challenged him and brought up his brother’s name. He didn’t lash out, just calmly guiding them forward. If she didn’t know better, she would think the mention of his brother didn’t bother him at all.

But she could feel it.

Behind his kind words, there was a deep agony. Fear, hurt, betrayal. He resented that his brother left the pack, that he split the pack with his leaving. He regretted that he had let his brother teach the pups… that he taught the pups to be killers rather than to defend and protect the pack. Feared being compared to his brother at every turn.

But mostly… he blamed himself. Hated that he wasn’t a strong enough Alpha to force the pack to stay together. He wished desperately that he could be a better leader… more like his father.

Alyssa rubbed her chest idly, feeling a pain in her heart that wasn’t physical but still wishing to ease it. She could sense his self-doubt, his feelings of helplessness, but was unsure what to do with the knowledge.

Over the last few weeks, they had spent a lot of time together. She had come to recognize that he was as kind as he first seemed, very different than what her book research had led her to expect. He was strong… she could see that in every move her made, especially in his wolf form… but he didn’t seem to place his importance on that strength.

His mother had described him well. He was strong, careful… and he put his pack first.

The closer they got, the more she learned about him, the more she could feel through their bond. His emotions, his mental state. She couldn’t hear his thoughts, not unless he was mentally communicating in wolf form. The information she was getting, however, was almost more than she could bear.

It made her terrified to guess what he could sense about her.

That’s how bonding goes. He is our soul mate. We can’t hide from him.

“…” Alyssa ignored her wolf, mad that she was telling the truth.

“Are you okay?” Alyssa looked up at Lewis’s mental question, startled to see his wolf’s face right in front of her own. “Did something upset you?”

“… What would you do if something did?”

“Help you. No matter what.” His mental voice was firm… reassuring.

“What if it was you that upset me?” Alyssa was curious how he would answer that.

“… If I did something, please let me know… I don’t want to hurt you, even by accident.” He paused. “If you don’t feel comfortable telling me… then my mom or Bridget would be happy to listen. And of course beat me up for whatever I did…”

SORRY WE UPSET YOU MATE! WOULD YOU LIKE MEAT?! Startled, Alyssa realized she could hear Lewis’s wolf directly. He sounded a lot like Lewis, but slightly more… straightforward.

TELL HIM WE LIKE MEAT! Alyssa’s wolf shouted with frustration. OR SHIFT SO I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF!

“How can I hear your wolf? I thought that could only happen after mating?”

Lewis shook his head, the motion strange appearing when performed by a wolf. “I’m not sure… I’ve never been mated before… but I think as our bond deepens we’ll hear more. I can’t hear your wolf now… if she’s speaking…”

I AM SPEAKING! TELL HIM I WANT THE STEAK HE HAS IN THE FREEZER!

“…But if you were in wolf form I might. Their control is a little stronger in that form. One day we might be able to hear each other’s wolves even when in human form.”

“…”

We like you, Mate! We think you are smart and pretty and smell nice! We spend a lot of time arguing over what would make you like us! Lewis’s wolf chimed in.

“Shush…” Lewis tried to interrupt, but the wolf kept talking.

I wanted to bring you meat and expose our genitals to reassure you of our virility, but he insisted that would make you mad.

His wolf is smart. Alyssa’s wolf approved. That would have made me happy.

“…Your wolf and my wolf are on the same page. I have no desire to see genitals, though.”

“No worries, there’s a firm ‘no flashing’ rule in place. “

Her stomach rumbled. “Wouldn’t say no to a steak though!”

Hooray! We’ll bring you the tastiest of the steaks!

See, he loves us enough to bring us the best steak! We should mate him now!

Lewis ran behind a tree and shifted, quickly changing into loose fitting shorts and t-shirt. Alyssa had learned the hard way that the pack had very little sense of modesty.

After numbing her brain to the sight of naked people who had transformed back from wolf form multiple times, she had come to somewhat accept it as normal.

She was still glad that Lewis tried to not be naked in front of her. Although she was now realizing that this might have more to do with avoiding his wolf’s desire to show off genitals then anything else.

“Let’s go.” He smiled, the expression causing her heart to skip a quick beat, and held out his hand. After a short hesitation, she took it, feeling as always the thrill that came from touching him.

They walked together in silence.

As they neared the house, Lewis spoke up. “You know everyone likes you here.”

Alyssa tensed up. “But…?”

“No buts. They just like you.” He let out a quiet sigh. “You don’t have to try this hard.”

“…”

“You look relaxed when you’re talking with the pack. You’re smiling and joking around… you’ve even got half of them addicted to those werewolf romance novels… I mean your research…” He chuckled, squeezing her hand with his own. “But I can feel it, Lyss. I can feel how stressed out you are… how hard you’re trying to make them like you.”

“I…” Alyssa started to talk but then fell silent.

I told you he knows us.

“I’m not judging.” He smiled bitterly. “I wish I had met you much earlier. I don’t know what your life has been like leading up to now. I just want you to know that people like you for the weird, lovely person you are. You can try to relax a little.”

Alyssa thought his words over. “Growing up… being liked… it was safer. Especially if you were the weird kid who had a wolf voice in her head. I learned early how to read people, and act the way they wanted. I’ve grown out of it some… it does get very tiring. But I don’t know if I could completely stop, even if I wanted to.”

“That’s okay.” He grinned. “Just know that I care about you... honestly maybe more than that, although it’s just been a few weeks. You never have to try to get on my good side.”

“I don’t think we ever tried to do that.”

We tried to scare him off. And instead he treated us better than anyone else.

He grinned. “Good. Then I guess I got to see a closer side to you than most… even if it was not meant as a compliment.”

Alyssa felt scared by this. His care. His acceptance of her. Even worse by the fact she could feel through the bond that it was completely genuine.

“Don’t let it worry you too much. Let’s just take it a day at a time for now.”

She sighed with relief at his words. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He thought it over for a moment. “Wait? What about your job at the bookstore? You’ve been here two weeks without notice? Do you still have a job?”

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

You’ll have to tell him eventually.

“If you say so.” His expression and mental state were a little sad, but she ignored it.

She would take it one step at a time, just like Lewis suggested.

________________________

Lewis was going a little crazy.

It had been a month. He spent every day at his mate’s side. Every day talking with Alyssa, laughing with her, getting to know her more and more. As they grew closer, he couldn’t help but wish for more.

They had just returned from a run through the forest in their wolf forms. He loved spending time with her wolf as well. She was much smaller than him, with silver fur and grey eyes that saw right through him. Her wolf self was much more open and playful, often pulling him to play or run through the forest. His wolf was enamored with her, yelling out offers to feed her or provide her with pups… or both. Her wolf was in hearty agreement, only to be silenced by Alyssa, who still seemed somewhat uncomfortable about the whole situation.

Lewis was happy. He hoped she would continue to stay with the pack… stay with him. He just wasn’t sure how long that would last. Fortunately she seemed completely unconcerned about how much time she took off the bookstore.

He shifted back behind a tree, changing into his clothes stuffed nearby and staring down at the ground until he heard she was done doing the same. Stepping out of his hiding spot he grinned and offered his hand.

“Should we get something to eat?”

Alyssa took his hand without hesitation. “Sure. What should we make?” Lewis felt his heartbeat speed up at her casual use of “we”.

STEAK!

STEAK PLEASE!

Their wolves chimed in, making them both shake their heads.

“How about pasta?” He asked. Feeling the wolves’ disappointment he added “We can have meat in the sauce.

YES!

Our mate is the best!

Lewis couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Her wolf likes me at least.

“ALPHA!” Gary’s panicked voice caused him to turn, seeing the large man running towards them fully naked.

Seeing Alyssa look towards the ground, Lewis couldn’t help but growl with annoyance. “Can’t you put pants on?”

“No time.” He skidded to a halt, trying to catch his breath. “It’s your brother…”

His heart stopped.

Benjamin. Nightfang. His brother. His enemy.

“What has he done?”

Gary’s face was grim. “He’s invaded. The South Segment.”

Lewis pulled off his clothes, shifting to his wolf form.

“Are there any of our pack patrolling in the area?”

“I let Teddy and Lara take that segment… it was supposed to be our safest area…” Gary rubbed his face looking horrified. “I thought it would be okay.”

“Stay here. Protect the pack. I’ll get the young wolves.”

His silent voice projected across the entire territory.

“Everyone. We are under attack. Go to your designated areas. The Nightfang pack has definitely invaded the South Segment, but it could be a distraction. DO NOT LET DOWN YOUR GUARD! Watch each others’ backs. I’m going after Teddy and Lara who were last seen in the attacked area. Listen to the Beta while I’m gone."

He hesitated mentally, continuing to run as fast as possible to the south segment, and then reached out privately to Alyssa.

“Please keep yourself safe. If you want to fight I won’t stop you, stay near Gary. If you want to stay out of the fight, go hide in the house with my mom. The pack is instructed to guard it. “

“I… “ He trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

TELL OUR MATE YOU LOVE HER!

He wanted to. He wanted to express the thoughts, the emotions that had slowly sprouted within him in the time they had spent together. To say everything he had wanted to say when he was by her side.

But he couldn’t.

We’re not strong. We can barely protect our pack. She won’t want us. She doesn’t trust us yet.

He reached out for what he hoped wouldn’t be the last time to his beloved mate.

“Stay safe.”

With that, he continued towards the south sector.

Calling out for Teddy and Lara as he neared the attacked area, Lewis wasn’t getting any answers. He tried not to think too hard about what that could mean.

They might just be unconscious… they might not be… His wolf trailed off, hesitating.

I don’t know what Ben… what Nightfang is capable of. He might kill them. But if there is a chance they are still alive… we have to try.

He slowed down, his paws silently stepping on the soft earth. He stayed on high alert, listening for any possible signs of the intruders.

Don’t let your guard down. Someone is close. His wolf could feel the intrusion on the Packs’ territory, it bothered him.

There, in the clearing! Lewis spotted two small wolf forms laying still on the ground. Praying they were just knocked out, he crouched down and inched closer.

They were breathing.

He let out a silent sigh of relief. Scouting around, there were at least two from the NightFang pack in the clearing with the pups.

Only two.

Where’s the rest of that bastard’s pack?! Where’s Ben? His wolf snarled within him.

It’s a distraction.He had known there was a possibility. But he couldn’t leave the two young wolves for dead. He couldn’t.

And Nightfang knew that.

Let’s save them quickly and head straight back. Hopefully Gary will keep things together until we return.

I miss our mate. I hope she’s okay.

… Me too.

Lewis attacked from the shadows. Normally he would owe them a noise, some sort of warning of his approach. He should give them the chance to surrender. To run away.

He didn’t warn them. They had invaded his pack’s territory. Kidnapped and attacked their young wolves. They knew the consequences.

One wolf screamed in pain and fear as his hamstring was shredded between Lewis’ teeth. He shifted in his confusion and shock, the bloody mess even worse in human form. Lewis had already turned to the next one.

He snapped at the enemy’s flank, and as the wolf dodged to avoid his teeth, used his much heavier muscle mass to push him to the ground. He grabbed his throat, resting his canines against the carotid pulse. The wolf grew still, not wanting to push him into ending his life.

“SPEAK! What is that traitor’s plan?”

The wolf whined at his mental command, but stayed silent. Lewis began closing his jaw. We don’t have time for this. The pack is in danger. Our mate is in danger.

“He’s attacking from the West!” Sensing death close by, the wolf began to mindspeak. “He wants to wipe out your pack while you’re distracted.”

Lewis opened his jaw slightly, considering his options. If I let him go he could warn the others.

Kill him.

He surrendered.

The pack must be protected.

Let me knock him out.

“Weakling.” A snarl came behind him, and he realized it was the man whose hamstring he had torn out. Swinging a metal bar at his head. At the same time, the wolf he had pinned bucked with teeth bared, trying to throw him off and attack.

Lewis dodged, clamping down his teeth as he moved, tearing the carotid and jugular with the sharp points of his teeth. He let go, tasting blood, knowing that the wolf beneath him was dead.

One left.

Before the attacker could say anything, Lewis jumped, fangs bared, and tore his throat out as well.

We did it.

He nudged Lara, the older of the two wolves, relieved when she woke up right away.

“Grab your brother and go to the main house.” His tone didn’t allow room for argument. She nodded silently, shaking awake her brother, and the two ran into the forest.

Lewis couldn’t help but chastise himself as he watched them move away. I hesitated.

You’re our kind half. I am the viciousness we hold, the killer instinct.

I’m weak.

We have to have both, or we’ll either be a tyrant killer or a ineffective Alpha. Now stop having a personal crisis and go SAVE OUR MATE.

Lewis nodded grimly, padding off into the forest towards where he could sense the pack.

It’s time to end this.

He ran into more enemy wolves as he neared the center of his territory. This time he sighed, giving up control to his wolf. His wolf seemed relieved at taking over, fighting both enemies to severe injury or death before moving forward.

Mate. He picked up the pace.

________________________

Alyssa had never been in a fight before. At least not with other wolves.

Don’t worry, I got this. Her wolf took over and leapt at the nearest attacker. Gary and Bridget were to either side of her, their much larger wolves defending her flank.

“There’s a lot of them, but I think we’ve got control.” Gary communicated calmly, his frantic attacks never slowing.

“They seem disorganized. “ Bridgett’s silent voice conveyed her disapproval. “Did they come here just to die?”

As her wolf continued to fight, leaping nimbly in between the snarling wolves, Alyssa studied her surroundings.

This is too easy. They’re injured… starving… what have they been doing in their territory?

Her wolf had no sympathy. Bad alphas make bad packs.

She looked around in the chaos. Everywhere she looked wolves were snapping at each other. Blood stained the cold ground, trampled into the dirt churning it into mud. Howls and whines of pain filled the air.

“I don’t see him.” She communicated to the other pack members.

“Who”? Gary trampled his enemy into the mud, his jaw locking on the throat of the other wolf. “Lewis?”

“No. Benjamin. I don’t sense an alpha in this group. Shouldn’t he be larger or stronger than the rest? Where is he?”

“Maybe the Southern Sector? An alpha fight?”

“No.” Alyssa’s mind was racing. “He doesn’t seem like the type to respect Lewis enough to fight him head on. 64% of the stories show the villain attempting some sort of sneak attack. The South Sector was a distraction… and so is this. They sent their weaker, injured members to fight us.”

That means….

She took off for the main house.

Alyssa! Bridgett called out. Where are you going?

To where the real fight is.

She crashed into the house, skidding to a halt at the sight of Lewis and his mother.

No… it’s not Lewis.Their faces were very similar, but everything else was wrong: his scent, his expression, his posture.

He smells dangerous… aggressive… Her wolf complained. He’s everything our mate isn’t.

I don’t like him.

Me either… he’s scary.

We should be careful.

She kept a defensive posture, her hackles raised, her teeth bared.

Benjamin looked down at her with a mocking smile. “Ah. The princess is here.”

His mother glared at him, holding a gun in her hand. To Alyssa’s shock there were already two large wolf bodies on the floor, cooling blood spilling from multiple bullet wounds. “Don’t you look at her, Ben! You came here for me.”

“It’s Nightfang now, Mother.” Ben laughed. “And you can’t tell me what to do. Not anymore. You lost that right when you betrayed me to side with my weak brother.”

Alyssa advanced closer.

“Oh don’t give her that crap, Benjamin. You might pretend to be mysterious and evil but you’re just pathetic. You aren’t Nightfang, or Eveningclaw or even Morning-freaking-wood. You are Ben. A bitter little boy who is mad at his mommy and daddy for giving the pack to your brother.” She kept her gaze on his, and his green eyes had trouble continuing to look into her own. “Never understanding why they made the choice, even though it’s obvious to anyone else.”

“Oh really?”

“I’ve only known you for a single minute and I wouldn’t trust you to be in charge of a self-cleaning litter box, much less actual people’s lives. “

“Well, well, Princess. That’s just needlessly cruel. Trying to rile me up? Distract me?” He shook his head sadly. “That only works in stories. It’s true that I’m very disappointed in my parents’ choice. They thought I was too violent to lead. That I didn’t care enough about the pack. But I did. I’m the only one who does.”

“Sure.” She circled around, spotting one of her bags close to the wall.

“Be careful, Alyssa.” Lewis’s Mom called out, still pointing her gun at her own son. “He’s dangerous.”

“You used up all your shots in the initial attack, Mom. Don’t embarrass yourself by pretending it’s still a threat.” Benjamin reached out and took the gun from her. “I forgive you for killing my men. But you should some respect when addressing her.”

“What are you…?” She looked over at Alyssa, who stayed silent.

“You didn’t tell them? ...Interesting.” He rubbed his face, a mocking grin starting to form. “Maybe you don’t even know?”

“Shut up. “ Alyssa leapt forward, reaching for his throat. Throwing himself backwards, Benjamin shifted as he moved. At the change she miscalculated, slamming into the much larger wolf, her teeth closing on only the fur around his neck.

“You want to fight? I’ll fight.” His wolf charged, snapping at her flank while she twisted desperately to avoid him. He was larger, stronger… but she was definitely more agile.

This isn’t a winning strategy. We can’t face him head on. Her wolf was directing the movements, keeping them alive from moment to moment as Benjamin pressed the attack.

I know that… Circle around towards the back of the room. I have an idea.

They growled, running in and taking a small chunk out of his foreleg before darting in the direction Alyssa had spotted earlier. Benjamin howled in pain, slamming her with his weight, throwing her smaller form enough to slam her against the wall. At the impact she shifted, turning into her more vulnerable form.

I don’t like this. We’re easier to kill this way.

“Not excited about being naked either, but it’s necessary.” She muttered, her hands working quickly.

“He should have protected you better than this.” Benjamin laughed silently in her head. “He didn’t even realize what a treasure he had.”

SLAM!

A grey form jumped through the air, landing on Benjamin and knocking him to the ground. As they straightened up Alyssa recognized her mate with a sense of terror and relief. Relief that he was here. Terror that he was now in danger.

The two alpha wolves circled each other.

“You should have just found your own territory.” Lewis silent voice was grim, full of his authority as Alpha. “Even with your treachery, I was willing to let you go.”

“That’s because you’re weak. This is MY territory. MY pack. You are the one who has to die. And as for your lovely mate who you know so little about… how about I take her too?”

He sighed at his brother’s words. “You’re forcing me to kill you.”

“Lewis, push him my way!” Alyssa called out silently through their connection.

“That’ll put you in danger!”

“Trust me!”

Lewis ducked his head, the almost submissive posture throwing his brother into confusion. As Benjamin hesitated, Lewis charged forward, aiming not for his throat or other vulnerable points, but at his feet. Throwing all his weight behind it, Lewis tripped him up, pushing him back- straight towards Alyssa.

“Here you go! Be careful!”

“Thanks!”

“You just put your mate in harm’s way! She’s defenseless!” He snarled, turning his attention to Alyssa’s vulnerable state. “Fool!”

BZZZT

His form seized for a brief moment and collapsed to the ground,

“Nope!” Alyssa grinned and held up her Taser. “He just trusts his mate!”

“…”

“…”

There was a brief stunned silence.

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Lewis’ mother leaned against the counter, looking relieved.

“Just one more thing.” Alyssa held up a finger. Reaching down, she grabbed her overly loaded suitcase filled with her research books.

BAM! And raised it over her head, slamming it down on top of Benjamin.

“Oof.” Both Lewis and his mother winced, but made no move to stop her.

“That’s for attacking me. Not to mention what you’ve done to Lewis!” She then reached down and pulled an ampule out of one of the pockets, stabbing Benjamin in the arm with it.

“What is that?”

“Tranquilizer.” She answered, making sure the drug injected okay.

“It’s very effective.” Lewis laughed silently in their heads, and then slowly shifting back to his human form. His green eyes met her own, and neither looked away for a long a moment.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you alright?”

They asked at the same time. Alyssa smelled his blood and panicking, ran over to look at him closely. “Where are you hurt?”

She grabbed his arm, finding a small cut there, and continued to look at his limbs.

Lewis froze. “Umm… Could we do this with clothing on?”

“…” Alyssa stepped back, rubbing her forehead as she realized that they were both naked and she had been feeling him over. “…Sure.”

“…Well” Lewis’s mother broke the silence with an awkward cough. “I’m going to go see to the pack. You two… talk.” She gave them a thumbs up and slipped out.

THIS IS A PERFECT CHANCE TO DISPLAY YOUR GENITALS! WHY DID YOU RUIN IT!Lewis’ wolf spoke up, frustrated.

“That’s not even a wolf mating ritual.” Lewis hissed. “Will you leave it alone?!”

Don’t worry! Her wolf chimed in. We don’t think you’re impotent anymore!

“See…”

So we should just get straight to the mating!

AGREE!

Lewis and Alyssa sighed slightly at their wolves’ excitement, and looked down at Benjamin, still unconscious on the floor.

“What do we do to him?” She asked, feeling tired.

“Do you still have some of those chains?” Taking the object she handed to him, Lewis bound the now human form of his brother, sneaking in a single kick in the process. “We’ll send him to the Council. He’s broken every law that I know of.”

“… You know in all the stories where he’s not killed the villain escapes and causes trouble again.”

Lewis sighed at that. “I know it would be safer to kill him. But… I…” He trailed off, looking conflicted.

“It’s okay.” She patted his arm, avoiding the injury she found before. “If you were able to kill him so easily you wouldn’t be you.”

“I worry sometimes that I’m too weak to be an Alpha.”

“I know. And I’m sure there’s probably some perfect balance of strength and mercy… but you don’t have to have everything figured out right away.”

“…thanks.”

She shrugged. “Besides, isn’t your sister still out there? Maybe the council can use Benjamin to figure out where she is.”

After handing Benjamin off to Gary and Bridgett to guard (And having them both fuss over Alyssa to make sure she was okay) the two went back to their rooms to change. Alyssa stared at the wall of her temporary bedroom, feeling conflicted.

He’s our mate. He’ll understand.

“I know. And that’s what scares me.”

Finishing her brief hesitation, she walked over to Lewis’ room, knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

“We need to talk.”

________________________

Lewis was extremely nervous as he waved his mate to sit down on the bed. He took the chair on the other side of the room.

What if she doesn’t want to stay?

She’s our mate! His wolf answered his nervous thoughts. She won’t abandon us!

“I don’t know what you told him, but your wolf is right.” Alyssa spoke up. “We won’t abandon you. Not over something silly like your evil twin brother trying to invade and kill us all.”

Lewis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s a relief.” He leaned back in his chair. “So what do you want to talk to me about?”

She stared at the ground a few moments before painfully continuing. “So I told you I grew up in the foster system, right?”

“Right.”

“So the part I didn’t tell you… is that a few years back, around the time I turned 18… a weird guy came and found me.”

Lewis growled. “Did he try to hurt you?”

“No. Quite the opposite. He said he was a friend of my family. He wasn’t one of us… definitely human.” She ran her fingers through her hair, obviously unhappy. “He wouldn’t tell me who they were, or why they abandoned me. He just said they had no choice.”

“That’s crap. I don’t know their situation but their only option was to abandon a baby?” HE shook his head. “Something’s off.”

“I thought so too. I told him to get lost.” She hesitated. “And he gave me a million dollars.”

“What…?

“He said it was a small gift from my parents. I don’t know who my family is, or what they were involved in, but it’s probably big… and definitely not good.”

Lewis processed this for a few moments. “So your job at the bookstore?”

“I actually own it. But I have a manager run it. I stop by occasionally and shelve books while I look for new research.”

“So…” He grinned. “Does this mean you can stay longer and not worry about losing your job?”

“…”

“… Is that what you’re thinking about?” Alyssa demanded, her hands twisting in the fabric of her t-shirt. “You’re not worried about unknown schemes, powerful families… who knows what nonsense could happen! I swear, haven’t you ever read one of these novels?!”

Lewis picked up the book on the table nearby. “I started reading through a few at your suggestion.

“The Seductive Alpha’s bride?” She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“It’s research! I’m trying to learn how to be a better mate!”

He’s hoping to learn how to make himself more attractive! His wolf added.

We already think you’re both attractive!

Great! Let’s mate then!

Agree!

“Not yet!” Alyssa stepped in as their wolves got carried away once more. “Although she’s right… we do think you’re attractive…”

“Really?”

“But how about we go slow… like a date, first?”

“A date!” Lewis jumped up, his mind racing. “Yes! Let me grab my car…”

“We were just attacked… remember?”

He stopped at her gentle reminder. “Oh. Right. How about after we get things sorted out?”

She smiled, the expression causing his heart to race.

“I’d like that.”

They fell into a comfortable silence.

“So how accurate has your research been so far?” He asked after a while, curious.

“The books?” She thought it over. “You know, considering the Alphas and the relationships I’ve read about?” She looked him over again. “I’d say I was a little surprised.”

“In a good way?” His tone was hopeful, he couldn’t help it.

“Yes. As for the future though?” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “The majority of these stories have a happy ending. But we’ll just have to see.”

Lewis touched the spot that had been kissed, smiling. “A happy ending, huh? I’d like that.”

[tasteslikemolecules]

8 12 13 for the spn asks. Please tag me @boykingsofhell so I can see your response <3

@boykingsofhell  - I have to do this in two parts because it got really long...

8. If you could remove one season of supernatural, which one would it be and why?

I would not remove any season of Supernatural if given the choice. I actually think it's an overall good show with some bonkers storylines and some boring episodes, but there's things I appreciate in every season. So if it was a choice, I'd remove none. But if I had to go with one:

My least favourite season to watch is probably the first one. If my friend hadn't told me “Just make it through the first season, I promise it will get good after“ I would have bailed on the show as quickly as I did back when it first aired. Every re-watch I have to force myself a little bit not to skip some of it. Partly it's just a show finding its groove - no one would bat an eye at wanting to skip the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, everyone knows that one was wonky as hell, but somehow the SPN fandom is really protective of the first season's impeccability.

I'm not a big fan of the strict Monster of the Week format and I miss having an overarching story (”finding Dad“ is little more than the initial premise to get Sam to hunt again), but mostly I just don't like the genre much: it' so much more of a horror crime show than the dark fantasy one it becomes later on. I get annoyed by all the “woman screams her heart out“ moments and the other horror tropes. The scenery is great, the colouring is beautiful and the relationship between Sam and Dean is fascinating but the actual plots of the episodes? The dialogue? Phew. There's outliers: “Faith“ is great and so is “Nightmare“ (thanks Sera Gamble), and I like “The Bunders“ but there's hardly any of the stuff that I really love about the show, there's only hints of something good to come. 

I'm not saying it's a bad season - I'd go as far and say there is only one really bad episode (monster trucks...), but it's a consistent season of a kind of show I wouldn't care about if it hadn't gone on. It feels dated in ways that season 2 and 3 don't (not just Dean's outright misogyny, although I always find that kind of, um, honest?). But I also care less about the season because I care less about Sam and Dean. I don't even really like Sam yet. I got sympathy for him, sure, but they're still almost... too normal? Narrative wise it makes sense: They're at a point where they had a fucked up childhood and youth, but they still could get away and be kind of normal. Dean could in theory become a regular hunter and Sam could have his normal life away from it all, and they'd have a history of growing up too close to a sibling, but it would be kind of fine. It all feels pretty safe, relatively speaking. No hell traumas. No dying for each other. I guess I need the stakes higher then they ever are in season 1.

But of course I couldn't remove season 1 because there would be a gaping hole where backstory should be. So unless I just got a better first season in return (and I'm not sure what that would even look like) I'd have to go with removing season 14. 

I'd mourn some episodes and some Sam and Cas interaction specifically, but I don't like the overarching story and I think it's the strangest most muddled season of all. Almost everything I want to see happens in between the episodes, as if someone forgot to put the camera on the interesting stuff that IS happening somewhere off-screen.

"Stranger in a Strange Land" was a great opener for a season that doesn't exist. I didn't mind Jensen's Michael as much as some people did, and I would have liked them to explore that for a little bit instead of, well, I'm not sure what they actually went for, because it's so incohesive. 

I really like when the show seperates Sam and Dean for a bit, and the breathing space it gives while also giving a new tension – because you know they must find their ways back to each other. And I wish the show had been more courageous, in any season really but especially here, to allow that seperation to go on for at least a few episodes (I guess they did do a slighlty longer seperation with Soulless Sam but that was still kindof/partly Sam working with Dean). 

I love season 13 a lot and I would have loved to see and know more about the time between 13 and 14. I'm fascinated by the glimpses we get of Sam desperate to get Dean back and not sleeping while running a hunter basis in the bunker and training people and feeling bad about failing Jack (as Mary says: parental guilt). Season 14 has so many starting points and so much potential and squanders almost all of it. Lucifer and Nick – why did we get so many pointless Nick scenes when the real horror for Sam was cut so short? Most of all, I hate how they handled Dean and Jack. They wanted to have their cake and eat it too. They wanted to say Dean loved Jack “like a father“ but he also wanted to kill him from the first episode to the last. And they didn't want to work on making that plausible at all. I can only watch the whole thing and make any sense of it if I assume Dean is lying for the benefit of Sam whenever he claims he has any feelings of Jack being “family“. That when Jack dies, he's sad because he knows Sam and Cas are hurting and also because Dean feels like he failed a task – not because he cared about Jack as a person. Season 14 painted Dean like an antagonist and villian all the time, in so many ways, and then always tried to take it back in the last second. It makes me furious to think about it. On a positive note: all of the flaws make season 14 perfect for fix its. There’s like 10 great plot seeds somewhere and a lot of angst and anger and a lot of weird weird Sam and Dean shit that I love the implications of, but it’s buried under horrible story telling and weird coloring. It’s like the writers were all playing a round of Telephone. 

And, and I will repeat this until eventually I'll find someone who agrees with me: the music in season 14 was so distractingly bad. Can't hear the Anthem of Europe anymore without getting semi-war flashbacks to that 'we're going to beat Michael' walk in the car park (?).

[beamsmom]

Fics I've written for sunakomo week 🌻 it's completed you can find em here

Day 1

Prompt: "it's nice to meet you"

Suna's POV 

A denim jacket over the shaggy sweatshirt that has life-changing lines imprinted on it, no gender just swag, that's what it reads, the broken amends of the crucified ripped jeans that my parents hate, I proudly wear those and I pick up my skate, glancing one last time in the mirror.

 "Uhh, how am I still single? " 

Yeah, my very first thought. 

I swirl around to some beats, throwing some TikTok dance steps. I open my window and slip down my skate in between my arms, trying to step out numb on my toes keeping it quiet as much as I can and my one foot trip on the roof and my body rolls down through the slanted wood and hugs the holy mother earth echoing a thudding sound while my limbs pain me down. 

I shouldn't be outside at this hour, wait what time is it again ?, gazing up at the sky I reckon the moon's position.

"It's 2 or 3 AM"

I embark on finding my skate and my eyes catch a scene that hurts me more than my back. 

Some dog is chugging on my skate. It isn't some normal dog, it's the most beautiful creature, a pitbull. That thing has the aura of some ragious God dog. I step forward and horror rapidly runs throughout my spin. 

What a great day. I spread my lips wider ready to start a fight with the dog's owner. I swivel my head on either side scavenging them.  I'm not really a ragious person but I'm off beat now and then and that's now and then is too often. 

I kneel and give the damned dog an astounding smile. " You aren't eating my skate, give me my skate, please" and the dog growls right at my face, rendering its sharp fangs, daring me to open my mouth again. I waved both hands in the air, accepting my defeat. 

Okay, somehow it appears mad, his eyes are red bloodshot and he leers ragious and that thing engraved its fangs deeper on my plain Rick and Morty mimed board. 

Ouch ouch ouch 

Enough with playing the nice guy, I'm gonna have to do what has to be done. I hold the other side of the skate and force it towards me. 

Why the hell is this small shit so strong? Why isn't his owner around?? 

"Give me my skate," I yell and it barks at me. 

"See dog-" it barks again but this time it's louder. 

"See, SIR, I'm already sneaking out, if you're barking, gonna wake my parents up, I'm going to be grounded for a couple of months and we don't want that, do we ?" 

"Give me my skate, you piece of sh-t, wait, once your owner gonna be here, they'll pay for your deeds, f-ckface" 

I hear someone from the back. I cocks my head in their direction. It's bland and dark. I can't see anything but a stepping silhouette and his voice sounds ethereal.

Why am I getting carried away, I have to yell at them? 

"I'm so sorry," he says, bowing down. 

A boy who is probably of my age, he's wearing a tee which goes as yes I'm wearing a meme and white sweatpants. Adorable.

"Wait-, you didn't give me a chance to be mad at you" I pour, crossing my hands at my chest. 

"What?" he obliviously stares at me through his lashes. 

"I mean, nothing" I choke up on my own words, and all of sudden my heart beats fast and it's about to come out of my mouth. His face, his damned face. I never thought it could be possible to feel this physical attraction to someone. Wait are we gay panicking over a stranger, yess most definitely we are. 

He hesitantly pierces his lips together and our eyes meet and I have always been competitive in everything, so I have no intention of breaking it. He twitches the corner of his mouth and walks towards me. He leans down, plucking the other side of the skate from my hand.

"Ponny, please baby take this out of your mouth, see I can't do this in the middle of a night, please, you're causing trouble to them" 

The dog finally let go of the skate and oh god and the condition of it. I can cry a river just right there. He pats his dog and puts back his leash.

He is too sweet, if it were my pet I probably would've yelled and snatched the thing away without even thinking. 

"Hey I'm so sorry, ponny can get hard sometimes. She's just too much to deal with, I'm so sorry, I'll pay for your skate"  his eyes are apologetic. He appeared genuinely upset about my skate. 

"No it's fine, I can fix it" I try to soothe him. Although I respectfully su-k at comforting people, it's the effort that counts. So bare with me.

"For real ?" He beams at me and I see sprinkles and stars in his eyes and oh man he's the human version of a golden retriever. 

~~a part of me want to pat his head so bad~~ 

"Yeah, I just have to change the board and repaint it" I replied, picking up my broken board.

"I can help you with that," he sings.

"Um, honestly you don't have to go through all that because of me" 

"No, no it's fine"

"Well, we can meet at my house after school, I guess"  

"Yeah sure," he enunciates.

"You know I used to have a pet as well" for the first time, I tried to hold a conversation with someone. So I thought it'd be great to tell him a story about my pet hamster.

"Yeah?" he replied, exhibiting a smile.

"His name was hamster" 

"You name your hamster, hamster," he asks and I nod in response, cause the choice I had was to either call him the rock or the hamster, I chose the one I liked the most.

"Well it was better than calling him the rock" 

He laughs and I catch myself staring. He is intriguing.

"I'm Komori motoya" he offers a handshake.

I take his all small fingers under my hand's embrace, "I'm suna rintaoru" 

"It's nice to meet you, rin-san" 

"It's nice meeting you too" 

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow ?" 

"Yeah you will" 

"Night komo" 

"Good night" 

I turn back and crash into someone," watch out moron" if I've known the words that are going to slip out of my mouth are my last words I would have chosen them more wisely. My mum is standing there, exhibiting no emotions, "rin". Oh god. 

"Hii mum, what are you doing outside at this hour," I say, trying to break the awkwardness creeping up in the environment. All of a sudden I can sense the humidity in the air, my shirt clings to tacitly on me. 

"You're grounded for a month," she warns. 

"Yes ma'am, wait it's like I can't go out but someone can come in, right ?" 

"Well, I guess" 

"Sure" 

She quirks a brow towards me, " have you found someone? I mean finding out romantically since you've never asked that question and I'm speaking from my experience of grounding you several times"

"Perhaps, that's something is for the future" 

"Don't get hurt, okay ?"

"Don't play the nice mom after grounding me for a month" 

She shakes her head and gestures to me to get back inside.

The end

[closer-stars]

Precious - Seonghwa (2)

Member: Seonghwa Genre: Drama and Horror for the most part Word Count: 7.3k  Requested: Yes Content: Seonghwa finds out what the fuck goes on. Slightly inspired by the fact they went to Spain. A lot of weird things happen. Mentions of body horror, food (it’s not a Stars work if there’s no food involved). Religious references. San is Protective of Seonghwa. Eden knows something that we don’t.  Note: Okay so Part 2 of Precious is here. I had to read about various Biblical references from academic papers, YA books I’ve grown up reading and some classic literature books I’ve had to read at one point. Some architecture readings, some history readings because I have a short attention span that wants to know everything. Things might not be accurate, history/biblical mythology wise but an Attempt was made. 

Part 1

The plans of going abroad to record their next album was a surprise for them, even more that this time it’s not going to be in the US. For the majority of the boys, this plan was met with excitement and curiosity. New places, new experiences and most importantly new food. Only Seonghwa met this idea with hesitance. Something about it didn’t sit right with him but did he really have a say in this? San noted his uneasiness at the news. “Hyung, is everything okay?” He asked in the midst of excited murmuring around them. The older’s eyes gaze over the other members and he found it better to keep his peace so he nods. 

“Yeah, I’m alright. Once we get back to our dorm we need to start packing.” He returned. “Also, don’t get lazy packing this time please? The last time you did, you forgot your toothbrush and toothpaste at home and we were already in America.” This was met with a small whine from the younger. 

“Okay okay! I’ll get started on it tonight.” San doesn’t press on his hyung’s discomfort. One way or another he does come clean about it. It was better to wait, he supposed. 

-------

Fast forward to a week later. They’re now in Spain. They’ve been assigned into their rooms. Instead of having Hongjoong or Yeosang as his roommate this time, it was San. Not that he didn’t mind it but it was a nice change, even if the younger teases him to no end. Since it’s their first day and everyone’s still clearly jet-lagged, their staff let the boys free for the first two days to get used to the change. 

The first day was quiet, as quiet as it can be with eight boys in a new city. Most of the time was spent getting their body clocks to fall in sync with the city’s life. Some of them went out on their own with some of their staff, exploring the shops. Others went and explored the restaurants, wondering where to eat for their next meal. Seonghwa opted to go and quiet down in a coffee shop, the spacious and antique interiors are complete opposite to the ones he knows back home. It’s a rare occurrence too to have San accompany him into a coffee shop, knowing him he usually opted to go around and buy clothes or trinkets to remember the trip. 

“Coffee? I thought you didn’t like coffee.” 

“I don’t like Americanos, San. My coffee’s just the usual mocha.” The older reasons with a pout. The younger giggling softly at the sight. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll just get the Americano and we can just split the strawberry cake you’ve been eyeing since we arrived.” 

The rest of their stay in the shop goes by smoothly, his mind distracted by the food in front of him and San excitedly gushing over the planning of their next album. “I wonder what Eden-hyung and Hongjoong-hyung have. I mean we know what this next one’s supposed to mean but song wise and choreo wise? Ugh, Hyung, I want to get back on stage soon.” San confesses and it makes Seonghwa wonder if his energy was from his itch to perform or from the coffee. Instead of saying anything, Seonghwa nods in empathy. He misses the stage too and he hopes that they’d be able to get back on it soon. 

It’s when the others found a quaint restaurant a few blocks away from their hotel that they realize that dinner was rolling in soon for them. San notices the message and the time. “Should we get going?” He asks, as he finishes the last of his coffee. Their cake long gone. 

The older male nods his head as he takes a few sips of his water. “Let’s go. We don’t know how long it would take the others to get back and knowing Wooyoung and Yeosang, those two get distracted along the way easily.” 

------

Seonghwa’s sleep for the night wasn’t terrifying but it wasn’t peaceful either. Every few hours he’d wake up disoriented, the images in his dreams nonsensical but at least he didn’t have any bout of sleep paralysis. It only takes a few minutes for him to get back to sleep but every time he does, he sees weird things. 

Colorful flames dance in front of his eyes, feathers of various birds falling into the flame, some unharmed, some turning into a crisp. It’s the first time he’s seen a flame so intensely blue that leaves some of the feathers safe from the damaging heat. He swears he could hear someone call his name somewhere, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the damaged feathers, too entranced by how it burns red, ashes of what was falling from the body until all that was left was a charred crisp of ashes. His name continues to be called, it’s when he feels a jolt that he’s pulled back into the waking world.  

“Seonghwa-hyung!” 

His eyes shoot open, immediately shutting them again from the glare of the morning sun. 

“Hyung, it’s 8AM. The breakfast is open for two more hours only.” San says as he fixes himself infront of the mirror. 

His hand roams across the expanse of his bed until he finds his phone. 7:45 AM. “Dammit, San. It’s only fifteen minutes before eight... “ He lies back in bed, rubbing his eyes as he tries to remember what he had just seen minutes before. “Wait, you’re awake before I am.”

San looks back at his hyung, hand on his hip. Mingi’s been rubbing off on him. “Glad you noticed! Mingi kept calling my phone to wake me up. We’re going around the city today while Hongjoong-hyung, Jongho and Eden-hyung finalize the guides.” 

A whine nearly slips from his lips, wanting to rather sleep in and do nothing all day. Another side of him reminds him that it was rare to get such an opportunity to just live and so he thinks. When he reaches for the phone, San asks what he’s doing. 

“Room service. By the time I finish showering, the food’s going to be here.” 

San stares at him for a few moments before groaning and throwing himself on the bed.

“Why didn’t I think of that… I could’ve gotten a few more minutes of sleep…”

-----

It was Yunho’s suggestion that they look around the city, see the history and the like. Considering that their leader, their maknae and Eden were in the studio, not too far from the hotel, it results in Seonghwa and Yunho being the heads of the group along with one manager as the rest of them sightsee.

“There’s this really cool park we saw yesterday but we didn’t get to go inside. There’s so many pretty stuff in there too!” Yunho explains, already looking at their map and leading the rest of the group. 

------

They arrive just outside the park. One that seems to be well known for having locals and tourists flock to for the history and scenery. Some of the boys try to read the name of where they were but San was the closest to the actual pronunciation. A quick translation: The Park of Pleasant Retreat. Seonghwa could see why from where they stood. People lounged around the greenery, taking in the warmth of the sun as they mingled with their loved ones. If Seonghwa squints a bit, he could even see a few people playing music under the shaded refuge of the trees. There even seems to be a body of water where people rowed small boats around, some lingering by the steps aged by natural forces and people who have come before them. 

The boys have already learned that if they act like they should be hidden, they’ll be noticed by the public. It’s because of Wooyoung that they decide to go and explore through this path. A part of him thinks back to Jongho who would’ve loved to see this place and take photos. Even if Seonghwa didn’t know the history that this park holds down to the details, he knew that it seems to hold a large piece of the country’s history judging by the architecture. Grandiose pillars, crowned at the top with designs that curled inwards, though the temple-like pathway looks pristine, it has definitely been colored and worn through time. His eyes take in the scenery, occasionally stopping to take a few photos. It was a good change of scenery he thought, away from the chaos of his daily life, everything felt serene and calming. He could see why people flock to this park. He notices that his members had slowed to a stop and their manager was about to get in between them and the stranger that has made their presence known to them. 

She looks like a local judging by her clothes and how she just seemed in her element. Seonghwa’s eyes study her features from where he stands: high cheekbones, pink lips that were adorned by a dainty cupid’s bow. Her almond shaped eyes were revealed after she rests her shades atop her head. Her skin, unblemished and unmarked, tanned by constant hours under the sun. She carries herself with so much poise, the male would’ve thought she was some sort of local celebrity. It was when she started to speak in Korean that they somewhat relaxed. “Hey, I’m just a local, I promise. My name’s Kayla. You guys just seemed like you would prefer getting the rundown of what this place is.” She explains as she brings out an ID to show to their manager and to the rest of them. “Also, I work as a local tour guide in my free time so…” She trails off with a shrug. The boys look to each other and under their breath they ask. 

“Should we?” Yunho mumbles as he eyes everyone.

“I mean we only have this day…” Yeosang points out, brushing through his hair that's starting to become a nuisance to his eyes.

“If she’s shady, we can just make an excuse and go.” Wooyoung adds.

“So yes?” 

They looked at each other one more time and figured: nothing to lose. They turn to their manager who has told them of their rules since Day 1: Don’t do anything stupid. To everyone, it wasn’t. To San and Seonghwa, it was bordering on stupid. 

So the rest of the boys agree, the minority: San and Seonghwa just letting them be and trailing behind the group. 

“Hyung, are you okay?” 

Seonghwa doesn’t register the younger’s question. Since the group was so busy discussing the opportunity, the male had been stuck in his thoughts. Those features were familiar but he couldn’t put a finger on it. Did he see her online somewhere? Hell, who was she even? It was impossible for him to have seen her in his dreams, he barely remembers what he dreams about nowadays. He should’ve taken a peek at the ID when he had the chance earlier. 

“Hyung.” San calls out again, bumping his elbow to the older and this brings him out of his reverie. 

“Huh? Yeah, sorry what? I was spacing out again, I think.” 

This time San lets out an exasperated sigh, much similar to the ones Seonghwa lets out when they act up. “I’m worried. You’ve been on edge since you heard we were going to come here for work.” He was right. The days leading up to this trip, he hasn’t been calm. His nights consisted of tossing and turning as he tries to get some peace. If none of those movements bring him that rest, he ends up doing the same home workout routines he sees San do until he feels exhaustion and considering that he’s an idol, it takes a long while until his body gives in to the comfort of his bed. So the older one lets out a soft groan, making sure no one hears it. 

“I don’t know. Something just doesn’t feel right.” He mumbles, opting to use dialect just to make sure she didn’t understand. How sure was he even that she wouldn’t understand him? “I had a nightmare… a few weeks or months prior to this and it’s just really weird.” He continues as the walk through the wide paths. For a moment, everyone gets distracted by a couple walking dogs they’ve never seen before. While he smiles at the sight of his members finding glee in the furry companions, he catches sight of the couple’s eyes and his blood runs cold: icy blue. It’s not like the eyes he had seen in his nightmare but these two carry a weight that made him think: it was better to stay in his side. He looks away immediately and opts to fix his attention to what the woman explains. 

“This park’s been known for their architecture. This park was commissioned roughly in the 1630s, constantly being expanded and improved upon by the Spanish monarchy. It was open to the public by the second half of 1800s and what you see people doing today, it was the same back then. I guess you can say not much has changed since then. Countless monuments and buildings have been made here over the centuries which you can see by the change in architectural and artistic design.” She explains. She gestures to a glass structure some meters ahead of them. “That over there was used as a winter garden for flowers that weren’t usually found in Spain, nowadays it’s for exhibitions and the like. Insanely pretty isn’t it?” She muses as some of the boys take a few shots as they get closer. A few moments of silence pass over them until she speaks up again. “Actually, there’s this monument I’d like you boys to see. No other place in the world has something like this. By any chance, is any of you easily scared?” 

That prompts the boys to gesture at Mingi, which he accepts with grace. “I’m not good with scary.” He explains with a bashful grin. He takes this cue to hold onto their manager, thus earning him a soft chuckle from the woman. As she sweeps her gaze across all of them, lingering for a moment or two at one particular man, she smiles. “I assure you that this isn’t too scary but it might be a little unnerving.” With a turn of heel, she leads them through another path, slowing down as they are greeted by a tall monument. 

At the foot of the monument are eight faces of beings no one can quite tell spouting out water from its respective orifices. The beings, so ambiguous, so odd it’s hard to look away from were unnerving upon a closer look. Seonghwa looked up at the top of the monument and he immediately knew: they needed to leave. At the top of the monument rests a statue, twisted in turmoil as he falls backwards. The fall clearly did not look like something the subject wished. The wings of the statue are somehow still outstretched, in a feeble attempt to protect the owner from further pain. While he couldn’t see the statue’s details closely, he could note that there were things that wrapped around its wrist and ankle. He could only guess that those were snakes or reptiles that looked just like the ones at the foot of the monument. 

“Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce to you the Fountain of the Fallen Angel.” She starts as she gestures to the anguished being on top. “It’s rather an oddly proud moment for us to be the only ones with a public monument dedicated to the Fallen Angel-- as far as I know that is. To start, this was inspired by John Milton’s book Paradise Lost. Nothing has been definite as to whether or not this fallen angel is Lucifer the Morningstar himself, falling from grace or just any other angel that has fallen but some do like to believe it is the Lucifer being depicted up there.” 

At the mention of the word star, Wooyoung teases Seonghwa. “Heh, don’t you call yourself a star too?” 

Yeosang raises his hand, just like an obedient boy in class. “Wait, why did he fall?” 

Before she could answer, San beats her to it. “Because of his pride isn’t it? That guy up there wanted to be as great as God and tried to make other angels rebel with him.” 

This pleases her. The way her lips curve into one of pride has Seonghwa’s skin crawl with discomfort. “That’s correct. Did you also know that this statue stands 666 feet above sea level?” She asks, only to further explain the math of where they stand, how tall the pillar this monument stands on, and how tall the statue is. It was a reasonable guess and considering what the statue was, the connection just seemed right. 

“On our eye level,” she continues. “We see eight different types of demons and other symbolisms related to the Bible.” she gestures to the eight different phases at the bottom. “This statue has seen a lot of things throughout history that if you have perfect eyesight, you can actually see some bullet holes on the body and wings. Those being remnants of the wars this land has experienced.” 

Everything about the statue made Seonghwa want to run, run far away from this place and head back home. The adrenaline starts to make his head pound, that he holds onto San’s forearm. 

“Hyung, are you-” 

“I’m fine. I just got lightheaded.” He mutters as he breathes in through his nose and out his mouth. The air didn’t seem as cooling as it did earlier anymore. No one takes pictures of this monument, the history surrounding it and the context behind the figure makes it too unsettling for any of them to hold a little piece of memory. 

As they walk away from that work of art, Wooyoung asks her. “Miss, are you religious? I hope I don’t come off as rude..” he mumbles a little embarrassed. 

“Dear, what makes you think of such?” 

“You just seemed like you knew a lot about that statue and its context…” 

So she hums in thoughts. “Your friend earlier, the one that answered your friend’s question. Is he also religious?” 

“He used to be.” 

“A wise decision.” She nods. “To answer your question, is being knowledgeable in one belief equivalent to being religious?”

Seonghwa wishes he didn’t hear that.

Wooyoung purses his lips, “I suppose not.. To be honest, you sounded like you believed in the stories.” 

Oh how Seonghwa wishes he could tell Yunho to make Wooyoung shut up. 

“Now tell me dear, Why should I believe in beings I have not seen in their flesh? The farthest we have seen of these beings are through art and the stories passed onto us.” 

It unnerves San how she talks in such riddles all of a sudden. 

Seonghwa’s phone rings all of a sudden and he has never felt more relief when he finds out it was Hongjoong. Everyone’s phones seem to ring at the same time. A group chat message. 

Yunho’s the first to read the message and his face falls for a moment only for an apologetic smile to quickly replace his pout. He turns to the lady, as he keeps his phone. “We’re really sorry but we have to go. Work’s calling for us.” He explains simply. 

“Oh? You guys are already working? But you look so young..” She notes, her eyes studying each of their features closely. 

“It’s okay we like what we’re doing anyways.” San says in return, his arm around Seonghwa was the only thing keeping the male steady as he tries his best to appear nonchalant. 

The lady’s bottom lip juts out at the abrupt ending to the tour. “Mhm, I suppose that’s more important isn’t it? Happiness.” No one knows if she’s talking to them or to herself so they take the cue to bid her goodbye. “Very well! I hope to see you boys soon, good luck with your work.” She gestures at the direction they came from just so they don’t get lost along the way. 

It’s only when they arrive at the same place where they started earlier that Seonghwa speaks up. “Let’s just make our way to the hotel then head to Hongjoong.” 

The guides were finished and all that was left was for them to record the songs.

-------

For the next few days of their stay, all they’ve done is practice and record the songs until Hongjoong and Eden were satisfied with the quality. Even with the troubles of the new equipment that came along the way, it was a relief to everyone to have finally finished the songs. All that was left was to decide on when the shooting and promotions will be. Seonghwa pats their leader’s back lightly. “You did well, Hongjoong.” He mumbles, throat a little worn from having pushed himself to reach a few notes that weren’t in his usual range. Hongjoong on the other hand hums in response. There was only so much he could do with what they have but if time allows, he would definitely ask for them to re-do some of their lines, maybe not here but back home. 

Eden tells everyone to call it a night after such a tiring and intense week, even forcing Hongjoong to not touch his music software for the night. Even with those words, they know better: Hongjoong would stop when he’s done solidifying all the ideas in his head. 

------

The entire week of recording and practicing had made Seonghwa forget about their tour guide and his sleep problems. The past few nights just being pure dreamless sleep, that or he forgets what his dreams were within the first few seconds of waking consciousness. Now that the week is over, he still hopes he could get the same dreamless sleep that wasn’t plagued by the stress of his work.

His eyes were closed by the time he throws his body onto his bed. 

He doesn’t feel the heavy weight on his chest this time, but he still can’t get his body to move. He hoped it wasn’t the same being that visits him now, he wasn’t sure if he should hope for a different being either. While on his side, he looks around, San’s sleeping body just a few feet away from him. It’s only when he looks by the door that he notices the being. Human looking just like the first one but with an air that carries pain masked by regality. 

“How has your stay been in our humble abode, Sir?” He asks, tone gravelly, as if his throat has been abused by cigars, alcohol and more. Seonghwa could barely make out the rest of his features from where he lays. He wants to answer but he doubts his own throat could do the same effort as the being that leans against the wall. “Oh don’t worry, you can speak around me. I suppose my sister had been rough on you the first few visits?” The stranger adds. He steps further into their room. Though spotless, the bottles of soda and packs of instant noodles are enough to tell him that these boys were not too far into their adulthood. 

At his words, Seonghwa opens his mouth. “How did you get into our room?” He mumbles, there’s still a restriction in his throat but better than the first time. Did all of whatever they are have the same sort of power? 

“Oh please, the sleep paralysis thing we do isn’t everyone’s. Just my family’s.” The unnamed male returns, reading Seonghwa’s mind. “Call me El, I’m sure you’ve met my sister, Kea. My bloodline is besides the point, I’ve come to visit to see how my people have treated you and your hm, group?” 

People? Seonghwa looks at the man once more, unsure of what he means, and fears if he were to explain any further. 

“What the fuck?”

Seonghwa’s eyes dart to his roommate, already sitting up on his bed. At his words, El looks at him and with a shit eating grin, he manages to stride across their room and out the window. A grandeur exit. While Seonghwa wasn’t able to see the male unfurl his wings, if he was indeed telling the truth, he wouldn’t be surprised if his wings looked anything like his aforementioned sister.

He regains the feeling and control in his body and sits up from his bed, San already contacting someone about what had happened. “So you saw what I saw?” Seonghwa asks, as San tries to contact someone in his phone. 

San uncharacteristically shushes the older once the recipient of the call picks up. “They’re here. One of them visited our room and talked to Seonghwa.” A few more minutes pass and San hangs up. “Hyung, I’ll explain later but we need to get everyone to wake up and head to the studio. Go get ready, I’ll wake up the others.” It’s rare to see San so steely and dark. Besides him, San was the next scariest person when angry so he does as he’s told. He kicks off the sheets and gets his clothes ready for what could be a long day. 

---------

“We need to go back.” Eden says, as he finally saves all their work into the hard drive. 

This shocks everyone, at least those who haven’t known what happened. Those being anyone that wasn’t Seonghwa and San. 

“We just got here, what’s wrong?” Yunho asks, sitting up from his spot on the couch. Hongjoong already had an idea of what was going on thanks to Eden, if his dark look is anything to go by. No other words were shared by the rest of the boys, but upon seeing Seonghwa, San and Hongjoong pack up their things from the studio without a word, they figured something was up. Hongjoong shoots them a look that tells them to start moving, any explanations will be done when they’re on the way back. 

They move back into the van, and even then nothing has been said. The air is stiff with tension, worry and confusion. Seonghwa’s face was unmoving but the lines of fear appear on his features. He looks out of the window, watching aged buildings blur past them. He wonders if any of these buildings house these odd beings as well. They might have, just not in the buildings he supposes. Wooyoung’s persistent nature of wanting to know what’s happening nearly has Hongjoong snap at the younger. It’s not until San places his hand on the leader’s shoulder that tells him to cut them slack. They don’t know, not yet at least. Seonghwa glances at the two share a conversation with loaded gazes. “Quit it, all of you. Once everything quiets down, I’ll explain.” he mumbles as he rubs his forehead, a weak attempt to smoothen out the stress that hasn’t left him since they’ve stepped foot into this country. 

It’s rare to have Seonghwa speak up like that. It’s all it takes for everyone to behave. 

They arrive in their hotel and immediately make their way to their respective rooms. San and Seonghwa speed to their room, packing everything they’ve brought out from their luggages and back inside. It only takes three hours, considering that they haven’t stayed too long in the country yet, to get everything back in. 

The older male is too busy in his head, making sure he hasn’t forgotten anything: passport, charger, wallet, among other valuables. It’s when San calls his name and tosses him his hat that he remembers that he’s going to need to keep his sight limited to what’s directly in front of him to keep him from losing his sanity. “We’ll get back safely.” San promises him. His luggage was already strapped and ready, much like his. It’s only then that he releases the breath he’s been holding since they were in the studio. 

“I hope so. I don’t think I can bear to see any of you in danger just because of me.” He says under his breath. They take one final look around their room and seeing that everything’s clean, they make their way out. The pair’s greeted by the other members already making their way towards the elevator. While the others only have hats or sunglasses covering their features, Seonghwa had to take both for safety. 

Eden was already at the reception, waiting for everyone. He looks at his phone, counting the hours from where they are to the airport, alone with their flight back. He needs to explain to Seonghwa especially what’s been happening to him. But to that, he wants to make sure there are no ears on the walls. The producer’s greeted by everyone and he already nods towards the doors. “Our rides are already waiting for us outside.”

“Rides?” Seonghwa repeats, the idea of splitting up didn’t feel right but at this point he wasn’t sure if these feelings are of paranoia or gut.

Eden glances over at the covered boy and a bit of his heart twists, he could only imagine the stress this boy was going through and being separated from the rest of his members probably was making it worse for him. “We’re too many plus our luggage but I made sure we’re with people we can trust so let’s go.” He doesn’t expound anymore as he strides out. 

The ride to the airport is quiet, and it’s the one of the rare times Seonghwa’s sleep was peaceful. His body slouched over, leaning against the younger. Throughout the entire stay in Spain, San hasn’t left the eldest’s side and it’s from there that the others figured that San knew something they didn’t know. 

Hongjoong’s the first one to speak up. “San-ah. What’s been happening?” His voice quiet to make sure he doesn’t disrupt his sleep. He should’ve noticed the bags under his eyes since they arrived. The younger looks over at the exhausted member and tries to find the right words at least for this moment. 

“There’s been something that’s been bothering him. It only got worse when we came here. We’ll explain when we’re back in Korea.” Who knew being knowledgeable in all those religious stories would be useful to him? 

The rest of the ride is quiet but no one else falls asleep. San gently rouses him awake. “Wake up, we’re here.” The older one groans at how his peace has slipped away and he’s greeted by the sight of his members jumping out of the car, to be greeted by their managers and staff who also had their luggages. San couldn’t help but chuckle softly as the other curses in discomfort as he stumbles out, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. 

It doesn’t take long until everyone’s by the boarding gate. Everything feels like a blur to Seonghwa. The nap in the car made him realize just how his body ached for some peace. As they fall into lines to get into the airplane, Seonghwa leans against the back of his manager, resting his forehead against his back. He craves for sleep, for an escape from all of this and to be frank, he doubted he’d be able to escape this hell he’s in. 

By the time he’s in his designated seat in the aircraft, he’s knocked out once more. He only manages to wake up when the stewardesses serve their meals. He doesn’t even bother with the fact all of them are in business class. He’s sandwiched by San and their manager and while he can probably talk about what’s been bothering him, he doesn’t trust anyone else. While his thoughts run amok, his eyelids feel heavy. His physical body needed rest but his mind wouldn’t let up, with a disgruntled huff he puts in one earphone, letting music be a distraction from his paranoia. It’s clockwork for the entire flight, sleep, eat, worry, sleep, repeat, until they land back in their motherland. 

It was a miracle nothing had happened during the flight. Seonghwa doubts he’d be able to forgive himself if anyone became a victim to his misery. The ride back home was quiet as well, no one expected their sudden return after the chaotic entrance into the airport a few days back. 

By the time they arrive at their agency, it was mid-day. Everyone feels the exhaustion slowly steep into their bodies but their need to understand what’s going on somehow keeps them awake. 

The eight boys file into the conference room, Eden following them into the room shortly after. “I’ll make this quick and bearable since you boys need to catch up on rest for the time being.” He starts. The producer’s eyes studies each boy, and can’t find it in himself to put them through another hectic meeting, not now at least. “Seonghwa’s been considered a hot topic among the fallen angels which I assume is what has been disturbing his sleep for who knows how long.” All eyes were on him now as he sighs. 

“San explained bits and pieces to me before I told all of you to pack up.” He doesn’t go into detail unless someone asks, out of pity over their exhausted conditions. “Simply put, someone, i’m presuming one of the fallen in Spain ended up finding out we were there too.” Eight pairs of eyes gaze at him, most of which were heavy in need of rest, one had fear and confusion mixed in their gaze, but everyone carried the question of ‘Why?’. So he sighs, “I wish I knew why but for now, I need all of you to be careful and keep an eye on each other.” He hands Seonghwa a gold necklace with a pendant that seemed to depict a holy figure, judging by the round band over their head. “You guys need to get rest first. Seonghwa, while I’m not sure of what we’re dealing with exactly, just wear that first for protection.” 

“Since when were you religious?” Seonghwa asks, as he studies the pendants. As far as he remembers, the producer was far from a man of faith.

“I’m not but because we’re dealing with fallen angels, we might as well make sure we’re on equal ground.” The adult reasons with a shake of his head. 

This cues him to look at the male, keeping the necklace in his pocket. “You know they exist but you don’t believe in them?” 

“Seonghwa, I know there’s a more powerful being above all of us. Even them, but I don’t know if they are really the God that they talk about.” 

There’s too many questions but Seonghwa shakes his head free of them. “We’ll get going, get some rest too, Hyung.” He reminds as he opens the door, letting everyone out first before him. 

-------

The feeling of being home doesn’t bring him as much comfort as it should and he’s not sure of how to process that. He didn’t want to sleep yet, even if he’s exhausted from the trip and stress, so he lets the other members wash up first before he does. As he waits, his fingers fiddle with the golden chain of his new necklace. He’s back trapped in his own thoughts with no answers to his questions. When he feels like he’s got some sort of direction, it splits into several directions trapping him in a web of ideas that make no sense. 

Mingi’s voice breaks him out of his thoughts, telling him that everyone else was finished. 

The hot water manages to calm him down even for a bit. The water beating against his back and shoulders softening all the knots that have formed over the past few months. Once he’s finished cleaning himself up, he finds himself able to breathe a little better with the loose clothing of his sleepwear. 

When he feels his body land against the worn comforter, he blacks out. The necklace laid underneath his pillow just for safekeeping. It’s worth a shot even if he doesn’t believe. 

When he opens his eyes, he feels the same weight again on his body. He’s gone past the point of scared, he’s tired. He just wants sleep, peace, a clear head to juggle his work and his personal life. He knows what’s next. Another of those fallen angels is somewhere in his room. His eyes dart from various points of the room, looking for the presence. 

There she is.

The same being from the first time. The same lady, only she looks like she finally knows what she was looking for. 

Once Seonghwa gets a better look, he realizes it’s the same lady when they were in Spain. Even in his inability to move, he wants to lunge and fight her. While he isn’t one to raise his hand on anyone, he was willing to throw that rule of his to the wind just to deal with her. Alas, he’s constricted to the bed. 

“How was your stay in Spain, dear Seonghwa?” she muses, knowing full well that he won’t be able to answer. “I see that you have people around you that know of what’s been happening.” she continues as she saunters to the unmoving male. 

He despises how his body feels so numb. 

“Who knew that what we would be looking for wasn’t an object?” Seonghwa stares at her, anger burning in his orbs. Not like he knew what she was on about, he didn’t even know how they existed or how they live. He feels her pointed nail drag across his skin, just below his neck. “You’d be useful to us, sweetheart.” Her voice felt like it was laced with honey, tempting him to submit to her. “Do you want fame, my star?” The endearment makes his skin crawl. “You’re a well known artist aren’t you? Wouldn’t you want the immortality of your name? I can guarantee that as well.” her nails dig into his skin as she speaks. “Or would you rather build an immense following? That’s something we can do for you too.” 

We? 

She stands up, smiling upon him. “Oh of course, you can’t speak.” She grabs his face, handling him roughly as she makes him look at him. “Dear, I know you’re powerless under my presence so I’ll offer you this until we meet again. Everything you want is yours, just as long as you submit to us.” Her nails dig into his skin once more and this time it’s starting to hurt. Her free hand trails down his back. “You won’t need the wings you’ve seen, you’ll have the throne right next to our leader.” With others, she leaves her mark, to prove that her visitation was no mere dream but a reality. That her words and promises were true to their ears, and that they’ve sworn an oath. As she was about to leave three parallel lines down his back, she feels her back burn. 

The same burn that she felt when she fell. 

So she lets out a pained shriek, letting go of the unmoving male and he lands back on his comforter like a discarded toy. He stares at her, questioning what had just happened. 

He sees what causes her pain. 

The feathers on her wings are singed. The feathers were slowly burning to a crisp until it reached the main body of her wings. The part of her wings that are closest to her skin are raw. As if someone had decided to peel off the top layer of skin in a swift manner. Her skin looked terrible, none of the horror films his members watch prepared him for such a scene. He doubted any film maker could come up with something so graphic and merciless. This is something beyond human comprehension. 

The painful screams are so raw, so real, it sends chills down his bones. While he’s aware of how capable the throat is in creating sounds that thrust the listener into the deepest emotions, the screams carried years, if not centuries, of pain and anger.  

Of all things that made him believe that there was something stronger out there, it was a fallen writhing in indescribable pain in front of his numb body. He didn’t know how she’s able to still stand, how she’s still conscious but all those are discarded when he meets her eyes.

It’s how she shoots icy daggers at him that makes him feel some sort of fear. 

Primal fear. 

“Just as powerful as the first bearer’s.” she hisses through pained sobs. That’s when he realizes she was indeed crying. Instead of transparent water that humans produce, her tears looked thicker, darker. 

It looked like blood. 

The two of them hear someone banging on his door, trying to budge it open. The lady-- the fallen takes her cue to escape. 

“Mark my words, Star. We will find a way, know that your peace is temporary.” With that, she slips through the same window. 

Somehow, Seonghwa believes those words. He worries how short lived his peace will be. 

As she leaves, he regains control of his body. San and Hongjoong manage to barge into the room, greeted by the sight of a pale Seonghwa. 

“What happened? We heard loud noises.” Hongjoong asks, then he spots the open window. “San, tell Eden we need to get this place reinforced.” The leader orders, as he shuts the window and locks it. 

The eldest sits up from his bed and for the first time in the months of disturbed sleep, paranoia and confusion, he weeps. He weeps the pressure and pain he’s kept to himself over the past few months. The two couldn’t do anything, too surprised to see him break down all of a sudden. The anger has ebbed away and given away for him to feel the other emotions that he has suppressed. 

No one knows how long it takes until Seonghwa manages to speak up. The other boys have woken up by the time he regains a bit of his composure. “The tour guide we had back in Spain, she’s one of them. The one who made me go for nights without sleep and anxiety.” He mumbles. He then recounts the first meeting, Hongjoong who was there but unaware wonders how they’re able to keep themselves from the eyes of others. The same question that Seonghwa poses for all of them. The way she manages to appear wherever she pleases, how he goes through sleep paralysis when she’s in the room as he sleeps. He tells them of her attempt to mark him, maybe as a warning to those who were in close proximity of him but just as he was about to feel the pain, she backs away, body twisting in pain. 

It’s San’s turn to pale at his recounting. “I’m going to ask if my dad’s free. I’m not letting him drive here but a call with Eden-hyung would do soon.” He brings out his phone again, already typing up a message for his father. 

“What for?” As far as everyone knew, his dad was just a pastor. 

“Besides Eden-hyung, he knows what we’re dealing with. I think he might know what got her acting like that too.” San explains, waiting for the small number 1 to disappear from his message.

“Do you know?” Seonghwa stares at San. Following that logic, he does know his fair share of religious practices and the like. 

“I think you got a mark. The name slips from my mind but it’s a strong mark and if I remember anything else, these fallen have a plan that they’ve been dealing with since their fall..” San trails off, keeping his phone for now, keeping his eyes trained on him. 

“What does that even have to do with me?” He knows he’s got some sort of connection but the details are nonexistent in his mind. 

“Hyung, I’m starting to think you’re going to be a vital piece to the safety of this world.”

[infamouscookie10]

🍂 1/4 - Hey! Can I get a BNHA matchup with a male pro-hero or villain? Thanks! I’m a Leo girl with the ENTP personality type. I’m usually calm and chill, but my temper proves to be pretty short sometimes. Although I am understanding, my assertiveness, straightforwardness, and honesty can sometimes come off as harsh. Most people would say I’m generally caring and friendly. I also enjoy social interaction as well as adventure; this makes me a huge adrenaline junky who loves to travel!

🍂 On the contrary, I hate being viewed as weak. Receiving comfort has always made me feel extremely uncomfortable, so I prefer to keep my emotions to myself, aiming to care for others and comfort them instead. Also, excessive physical and verbal affection can give me the same effect of discomfort because I, again, prefer giving as compared to receiving most things. I am, however, a really good listener because of this. People often rely on me to give them advice and support When it comes to my interests, I love all forms of horror, autumn, Halloween, and thunderstorms. I also enjoy writing, taking pictures, and doing as much urban exploring as possible. I’m pretty spiritual and invested in all things arcane. Also, zodiac signs are pretty cool! However, my favorite hobby is definitely singing. I’ve been singing ever since I could talk, so I definitely consider it to be one of my most defining qualities at this point. I’m 5’7” and kinda slim-thick with caramel-colored hair that goes to my shoulders. I have bangs! My eyes are a bluish gray with yellowish lines around the pupils while my skin is rather fair, having light freckles across my cheeks. I like to dress in sweaters, cute blouses, high-rise jeans, mom jeans, and anything remotely fashionable yet stylish. My general aesthetic can be compared to a rainy autumn forest. Thank you so much and I apologize for the length!

Don’t apologize for the length, it helps me out! Anyways I ship you with Hawks!

- I feel like both of your laid back and care-free attitudes would mesh well with each other

- Both of you have extroverted personalities so huge events and parties would be something you two would be no stranger to.

- Yet I also feel like he’d love taking you on more leisurely dates like going to a pumpkin patch or out to eat

- Hawks would appreciate your bluntness and assertiveness looking at you with awe as you stand your ground and hold your own

- He’s the type to respect your personal space and he will not dare lay a finger on you unless you give him the okay.

- Though I don’t put it past him to tease you a bit

- Hawks is the No.2 hero and he appreciates your desire to not show weakness and he finds it endearing

- Although I wouldn’t doubt him being there for you if you really need it, as he isn’t known as the man who’s a bit too fast for no reason!

- Hearing you sing? He looks at you as if he’s looking at the stars themselves

- Style wise, he definitely enjoys your fall aesthetic as he’s quite partial to fall colors himself!

[dollsanddandy]

My personal ranking of the Stranger Things Seasons (though ST2 and ST3 are tied in my mind). I also added ST5 to the list for the future.

I made this on tier list maker feel free to use:

https://tiermaker.com/create/rank-the-stranger-things-seasons-17685675

[buildarocketboys]

Books read 2020: Reviews (1-20)

Decided to write a little review/overview for all the books I’ve read this year. Mostly just for personal record but please feel free to message me about any of these books!

1. Amberlough by Lara Elena Donnelly (Jan 6th – Jan 13th) 8 days 400 pages

I loved this whole trilogy, but this might have been my favourite of all three. I loved the setting (the main reason, apart from the queer characters, why I wanted to read this book) which is a fantasy setting based on the dying days of Berlin during the Weimar Republic. Loved this setting (especially the cabaret/music hall part) and it’s the only book that really features it. I also enjoy (or…find compelling, enjoy might not quite be right since there’s some very ‘yowch’ descriptions regarding torture/being beaten up) the story/plot most in this one, I was on the edge of my seat wanting to know what happened next…

2. Maurice by E.M. Forster (Nov 17th – Jan 21st) 256 pages

This is the only kind of cheat I have in here, because yes I did start reading it in November 2019, but I read the vast majority of it in 2020. I’d wanted to read it for ages because it’s such a gay classic and there were many sections (sentences, paragraphs) that I related to heavily, not even always as a queer person, but in that way that the best books get at the heart of something about the human experience in a way that’s intensely relatable to the reader. I think I found the romance elements kind of anticlimactic overall but maybe that’s kind of the point? It’s a happy ending, but in a very quiet way. (I think, it has been nearly a year since I read it!)

3. East, West by Salman Rushdie (Jan 17th – Jan 24th) 8 days 224 pages

I started reading this to compare it with its Spanish translation for my Postcolonialism in Translation essay lol. Some pretty interesting stories in here, also pretty sure this is the only collection of short stories I read this year, so it has that distinction. Not super my thing but acted as an enjoyable reading break in the local park while I was slogging my way through essays (and God do I miss that life now).

4. Affinity by Sarah Waters (Jan 24th – Jan 31st) 8 days 352 pages

This was the first of three Sarah Waters books I read this year. I have now read all of her work, and I enjoyed this one a lot – very much a ghost story. It wasn’t my favourite, but definitely sits nicely in the middle.

5. The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (Jan 31st – Feb 5th) REREAD 6 days 500 pages

Reread this while on a trip to York, when stuff like that was still possible. As good as ever. I love Time Traveler’s Wife not for the romance (which is…interesting, but personally I don’t find it exactly enjoyable and the characters aren’t particularly likable or relatable for me) but for the prose and the structure. The back-and-forth structure of the book (travelling through time, Henry – and Clare – at different points in their life) makes for a breathtakingly constructed plot and I love it more every time. Some of the prose and stuff the characters talk about are kind of pretentious but I’m kind of pretentious myself (I discovered  Rilke through TTW) and a lot of it has stuck in my brain, to the point that 10 months later I keep thinking about it and kind of want to read it yet again.

6. Armistice by Lara Elena Donnelly (Feb 5th – Feb 9th) 5 days 400 pages

I really enjoyed this sequel, I loved exploring the rest of the world, I loved the interaction between characters who either hadn’t met before, hadn’t seen each other in years (there’s a time jump between Amberlough and Armistice) and brand new characters (who were mostly equally as compelling/lovable). A worthy sequel.

7. Consider the Fork: A History of How We Cook and Eat by Bee Wilson (Feb 13th – Feb 24th) 12 days 327 pages

My thing (at least non-fiction-wise) this year has been books about food and food history, and this is the first of those on this list. It was pretty good, very interesting. I have trouble retaining information from non-fiction books so I only remember it in the broadest strokes (and remember reading it in the Hygge café in Sheffield which was really cool and I hope it’s survived the pandemic) but it was a really eye-opening look into different appliances/tools/processes/spaces used throughout history and in different parts of the world when it comes to food and cooking.

8. Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution by Shiri Eisner (Feb 25th – Mar 11th) 16 days 352 pages

I read this in the period just before everything started shutting down and the day I finished it (incidentally my girlfriend’s birthday) was more or less the start of the lockdown for us, so that’s my prevailing memory of this book. It was a very good, enlightening look into bi politics and what we (I, as a white gentile especially) could do better. But again, I don’t remember it in great detail because I was more preoccupied with what was happening around it.

9. Solitaire by Alice Oseman (Mar 14th – Mar 16th) 3 days 392 pages

This was pretty good but I definitely read most YA (well, reality-based YA) as an easy, quick read that doesn’t challenge me too much, so I don’t have too much to say about it. It was nice to read about the Heartstopper characters

10. What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera (Mar 17th – Mar 20th) 4 days 437 pages

Again, early lockdown YA so basically brain popcorn for me. That’s not a bad thing though.

11. The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters (Mar 20th – Mar 30th) 11 days 512 pages

This was my least favourite of the Sarah Waters books I read this year, and probably not coincidentally, the only book of hers without explicit queer characters. But still a pretty good scary story.

12. Amnesty by Lara Elena Donnelly (Apr 1st – April 6th) 6 days 384 pages

The last in the trilogy. I still liked it very much, but not as much as the first two books. I think endings to a trilogy are hard to get right. I feel like there was too much focus on one character and his predicament (and while I enjoyed his ending and happily ever after with probably m favourite character of the series), I wasn’t as compelled by this one as I was by the other two.

13. Lisey’s Story by Stephen King (Apr 6th – Apr 15th)  10 days 513 pages

My first Stephen King! I actually really enjoyed this, especially the scary fantasy dream world thing. It wasn’t too scary for me (I am a big scaredy cat who’s just dipping my toe into horror novels since I figure reading horror is moderately less scary than watching it) and just overall pretty good.

14. This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone (Apr 16th – Apr 20th) 5 days 209 pages

Loved this! The meandering almost poetry of it, the epic enemies to lovers, the weird admixture of sci fi and larger than life fantasy concepts (and beings!). Will definitely return to this one again.

15. Five Hundred Mile Walkies by Mark Wallington (Apr 21st – Apr 25th) REREAD 5 days 224 pages

I read this as a young teenager and found it hilarious. It was one of my dad’s books (he might even have recommended it to me, although I did have a habit of reading anything and everything that was in the bookcase – Memoirs of a Geisha at about 13, anyone?) and I laughed out loud practically every page. The gist of it is that Mark takes his sister’s (or sister’s ex??) dog, Boogie and goes to walk the entire 500 miles of the South West coast path. I loved this anyway because I loved the South West (especially Cornwall) and love seeing it through someone else’s eyes. So I reread it and I still enjoyed it, but didn’t find it as rip roaringly hilarious as I used to. Guess your sense of humour changes as you grow up, who knew?

16. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café by Fannie Flagg (Apr 27th – May 10th) 14 days 416 pages

I’ll be honest, I struggled with this one. I’m not sure if it was the setting (historically, geographically, linguistically) that put me off or the way it was written or what. I enjoyed the story but it just wasn’t really my thing.

17. The Night Watch by Sarah Waters (May 11th – May 17th) 7 days 528 pages

My final Sarah Waters book (until she writes more! *fingers crossed*) and definitely my favourite of the ones I read this year. Set during the Blitz in London, it’s pretty much straight up historical fiction, and I enjoyed it very much. I think part of it was I related heavily to the characters going through this dramatic time in history, because, you know, pandemic! There were certain passages that really connected with me/felt like an echo of today in a way that was sort of comforting, I guess.

18. Doctor Who: The Maze of Doom by David Solomons (May 18th – May 19th) 2 days 272 pages

A fun, quick and easy Doctor Who romp. Not much to say about this one.

19. Room by Emma Donoghue (May 19th – May 20th) 2 days 321 pages

Possibly the opposite of the previous. If you know anything about Room (the book or the film, which I actually watched years ago) then you know the subject matter is pretty dark and harrowing. Because it’s told through the eyes of a child however, I found it pretty easy (in terms of speed rather than subject matter) to get through and read it in about 24 hours. It’s super compelling too.

20. The Psychology of Time Travel by Kate Mascarenhas (June 6th – June 11th) 6 days 372 pages

This, as far as I remember, was just a random one that I managed to pick up (metaphorically since I read this as an ebook) but it was pretty good. Possibly my favourite random discovery of the year, an interesting look on time travel and its consequences, based around the discovery/invention of time travel by four women scientists in the 1960s (I think) and how it affects the rest of their lives.

[marscats37]

ranking the tma entities.

I wanted to examen the entities on the magnus archives and rank them based on how scary I found them, or how much they “get to me.” 

None of the low rankings are at the fault of the creators, it’s all my personal opinion and obviously what I was scared of or fascinated with before the podcast is what’s impacting my opinion. We’re all gonna have different opinions on this, and if you listen to the magnus archives, I’m so curious on which ones are your favorite.

To keep this fun, I’ll also list my favorite statement related to each entity. Also, I’m sorry, but I won’t include extinction on this ranking. It’s not really touched on until the end and I don’t have a solid enough opinion on that one.

We’re starting at the bottom.

14. The Hunt - I mean, the hunt is cool, but like canon says, it’s hard to relate to this one due to the fear of being hunted not amongst most people. I don’t have a strong enough opinion on this one to really give it any chance to be higher on the list. I’ll give credit to it being the entity for some of the coolest characters (Daisy, Trevor, the Montauks) 

Favorite Episode - 109 / Nightfall. Despite the low ranking of the hunt, I really love the montauk storyline, and it’s exciting to see julia and trevor team up

13. The Desolation - This one only ranks slightly higher because burning is the given for most painful way to go, but this one doesn’t get to me. It’s just, mean. Maybe if I worried about losing the things and people I love, but it’s not something I think about. 

Favorite Episode - 067 / Burning Desire. Not a scary episode, but I have a soft spot for Agnes, she comes across as a tragic character. I’m also biased because I associate this episode with a good atmosphere I was in when listening to it for the first time.

12. The Slaughter - I think I feel similar to the hunt as I do this one. It’s cool, but I don’t have a fear of violence. Plus, the slaughter is often associated with war, and I've never been a fan of war imagery. 

Favorite Episode - 042 / Grifter’s Bone. This is proof that I’m not put off by slaughter - related statements in general, because I freaking love this episode. 

11. The Web - Ranking this one so low may be unpopular since a lot of people seem to love this one, but it doesn’t get to me ! I’m not scared of spiders and to the metaphorical sense, not scared of manipulation or control. I dislike it as much as the next, but doesn’t hold a true space in my nerves. 

Favorite Episode - 081 / A Guest For Mr. Spider. I’m hard on the web, but there actually have been some spooky statements, especially the ones involving cocoons. But this episode is a special kind of creepy, and statement aside, showed us an even more vulnerable jon, which I loved.

10. The End - I think the statements that revolve around not being able to die are actually scarier than the ones about death itself, but I think I just have that natural fear of death, I think this is really just another neutral fear for me. I don’t really have much to add.

Favorite Episode - 121 / Far Away. Not a scary episode, but I really enjoy Oliver Banks, I love his statement, and you know, it was interesting to see him visit Jon. 

9. The Corruption - It doesn’t seem fair to rank this one so low, corruption is so cool and creepy ! But I kind of got over my fear of bugs and gross stuff (with the exception of roaches. I still scream at the sight of roaches.) so these episodes just mostly serve as really good visuals. I will emphasize that I really love the corruption, I just simply love the other ones more. 

Favorite Episode - 032 / Hive. The Flesh hive is my favorite aspect of corruption, and I really loved getting Jane’s side of the situation (sort of.) Plus, trypophobia is actually really unnerving. I just googled the word to make sure I spelt it right and now I have goosebumps. eeeesh... 

8. The Spiral - To be honest, these episodes aren’t super intense, I don’t have a fear of going mad. It’s ranked high enough because of how much I love the distortion. I’m giving the creators’ credit for this one, the distortion is really the only reason the spiral has any impact on me.

Favorite Episode - 101/ Another Twist - see above.

7. The Buried - Now we’re getting to my fears. I got claustrophobia, babey ! Also I have asthma so the feeling of not being able to breath is a familiar one lmao. 

Favorite Episode - 015 / Lost Johns’ Cave - I think this is a popular one amongst the fans. It’s such a good episode and I think about it a lot still. 

6. The Eye - If we’re getting personal, I’m a private and paranoid person. So naturally this one is a bigger fear of mine. If I really think about it, I can scare myself over intense eye contact too. In a visual sense, I have a bias towards eye imagery. 

Favorite Episode - 120 / Eye Contact. this is hard to answer, there aren’t many eye-centric episodes, although technically every episode involved the eye. But I like the references in this episode, and story-wise, the finale of season 3 is my favorite. 

5. The Vast - It’s not fair to rank the vast higher than the buried, since I’m more scared of the latter, but the vast is just so fascinating to me. The only negative part is that I get vertigo, but I find the empty cosmos and the large ocean almost comforting. Idk, I like this one ! 

Favorite Episode - 051 / High Pressure. I just think this a neat statement ! I also like how being underwater does had an element of the buried, so best of both worlds.

4. The Lonely - I feel.. conflicted on ranking this one so high. On one hand, it’s not that scary, it’s just the fear of being alone, but on the other hadn't, when the statements hit me, they hit me the most. I love isolation and being alone, but these episodes make me feel like I’m only conditioned to love those things due to them being my comfort. 

Favorite Episode - 170 / Recollection. This episode made me cry. I know it’s centered around Martin, but I also found myself relating to it too. Also, I love Martin.

3. The Dark - I can stand being in total darkness, unless I think about it long enough. I think that goes for many, but I still think about the dream where I saw a completely black patch growing on my ceiling and I actually screamed myself awake. I don’t recall another time I’ve had a scream-induced nightmare like that. Especially at my old age. I also think the creators do a good job making this one scary. I remember one Q & A where the writer said this was the hardest entity to write for. 

Favorite Episode - 086 / Tucked In. By the way, I had that nightmare months before I heard this episode. This statement naturally stuck with me due to the familiarity.

2. The Stranger - Another popular entity, and rightfully so, the stranger has so many opportunities to be scary !! No wonder two of the season finales involve this one. I don’t think I can add much to it that’s not a given, I love how creative these statements can be. We have the “not them” we have nikola, the angler fish, etc. 

Favorite Episode - 034 / Anatomy Class. I mean, as good as many of the stranger episodes are, this is my all-time favorite statement. The students are like an innocent form of uncanny and the professor’s fear is really felt. 

1. The Flesh - if you follow my twitter, you might have expected this one. The visuals are so gross and interesting, I’m biased towards body horror. I even like the meat statements, I was surprised there were so many of them when I listened to the podcast for the first time (and tbh it’s helping me towards my path of not eating meat lol)  I don’t have deeper reasoning for making this one my favorite, I just think it’s neat (and gross.)

Favorite Episode - 171 / The Gardener. Yes, the newest episode to the date of me making this post. So far season five has been really exciting and I love the format it takes. But oh my god guys, the visuals for this one ?!?! The metaphors of negative body obsessions to something so grotesque yet fascinating to imagine. It’s not an episode I can listen to over and over (remember, this is a horror podcast and my nerves need a break) but it’s one that I’ll remember. It’s right up my alley in terms of horror content. 

ANYWAY. This is not a final list, Most of the episodes I’ve only listened to once so I’m sure if I had a chance to revisit more of them I’ll change my mind on rankings and favorites. I genuinely like how everything is categorized, but these are based on my preexisting fears and fascinations, as mentioned above. The statements in the podcast only amplify them. so yeah, this list is very subject to change. 

[nah-never-mind]

50 things you can learn from a Korean drama

Hot, rich, younger men love fat, older vulgar women.

If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you. And secretly you are too.

You and your boyfriend will always playfully chase each other on an ice rink, at the beach, or in the leaves. And you'll laugh for no reason and your boyfriend will hit you "playfully" but the force of his push will have you flying across the room. But it's okay. Cuz you're still laughing like a crazy person.

Brothers/cousin/uncles/nephews will always love the same girl.

You're allowed to make U-turns wherever you want in Korea. And there is never traffic on the side you want to u turn to.

There is a super quick payment device that allows you to pay a bill quickly enough for a guy to run immediately out of a restaurant after his angry girlfriend storms out.

Everyone has cancer.

If you're sick, all you need is an IV to make you feel lots better.

There is vomit and urine all over Seoul at nights.

Fighting at a pojangmacha with a random stranger is merely part of a normal night's event.

Soju must cost 10 cents. Everyone drinks it everyday all the time, especially the poor people.

If you're rich, you're a jerk.

If you're poor, you're an angel.

Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.

You're not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.

If you have a nosebleed, you most definitely have cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that will save your life. And your liver is missing. We're not sure where it went, but it's making your cancer progress faster.

If you work in a sool jeep, you have massively curly hair and wear flashy colors from the early 90's.

You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.

You will always call your boyfriend by his job title. Or simply sunbaenim. Never his name. Never. He doesn't have one.

If you TRULY love each other, you must die together in the end. Frozen outside instead of finding shelter like sane people. Just frozen....

You go to America you come back miraculously successful. You go to England you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea the only thing that changes is your hairstyle.

And if you come back with no apparent reason then it's because you have cancer.

Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.

If you stand out in the rain for more than five minutes, you'll end up with a fever and vertigo and people will rush you to the hospital to get some magic IV. And instead of taking an ambulance or driving they'll race you on their back.

Even if you're poor and can't eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.

If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.

If you're saving someone from being hit from a car, you'll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead. Big Smile Couldn’t be more true, they’re like a deer in the headlights.

Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin. Usually one they didn't know about.

If you don't want to answer your phone, you can't just turn it off. The battery needs to be taken out.

All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play piano. Usually all at the same time. And at the same restaurant that has a piano that they let anyone use.

If you're in a relationship, you must at one point leave and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser). 60% of the time you see each other, the other 40% you're roaming around in circles and pass each other about six times, but miraculously never see them.

If you're getting off a plane, you're ALWAYS wearing sunglasses. ALWAYS.

All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if all they're doing is jump-roping.

Girls will always storm off because they're mad and the guy will stoically grab them by the arm and swing them back—and by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.

Guys always look like they're 6 feet tall, even if they're only 5'10. Thank you, camera angles.

Guys like to wear foundation, eyeliner and sometimes a smudge of lip liner.

You always get stuck in an elevator with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Even if there are six different elevators, you'll always be stuck in the same one with that bastard you hate (or just fought with).

Unless you're fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you.

So will your sister-in-law.

Your brother-in-law might be pining away for you.

There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut, and just press away for a very long and uncomfortable time. OR you devour the other person and suck out their soul. In both instances, the world spins.

A guy will always get the right size ring, even if you're never held hands.

People stare off into space and ponder a lot. They'll just stop in the middle of the road and watch a leaf on a tree for a good three minutes, and just ponder.

You'll get pregnant the first time you have sex.

You'll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.

Hell—you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.

If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.

One Korean man can kick the butts of 6 gangstas. Especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy one by one. Then when each of them get their butts OWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they've found to fight in. There will be a fire in a trashcan somewhere. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she'll just watch and cry. But it's okay. Cuz the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few face scars. But never a black eye.

It ain't a real fight unless the gangstas fight dirty with a stick or switchblade.

If you study in the states (preferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE of the TV can't understand a single word uttered out of your melodramatic mouth is beyond me.

[tokumusume]

tokumusume’s list of best and worst movies and dramas watched in 2019:

There’s a new category this year. Inspired by kpopalypse, welcome the Honorable Mentions! Movies that weren’t exactly bad but also weren’t good. Movies and dramas are qualified to enter if I watched them for the first time this year, not that they were released this year. Click on ‘keep reading’~~

Best Movies:

1.      Parasite

Another masterpiece from the director of Snowpiercer (let’s pretend Okja never existed). A poor family con their way to a rich household. Choi Woo-Shik from The Witch (see below) is the eldest son and mastermind, fabulous as always. Definitely the best movie of this year. For me, movie of the decade.

2.      The Witch Part 1 The Subversion

This movie is amazing, hard to describe without spoilers. A perfect mix of Stranger Things and Hanna. Choi Woo-Shik can come to my house and kick my ass anytime. I can’t wait for part two.

3.      Death Trance

Visually stunning, kinda like Amemiya Keita’s style in early Garo or Mad Max. I wish the movie was longer and the characters were better fleshed out, Ryuen the monk and the little girl had so much potential... The most interesting thing about this movie is how sexualized the main male character is compared to the female ones, and apparently, the swords were designed to look like veiny penises (can’t find a source for this info), and yes, they do look like veiny penises. The final showdown is heavy with sexual energy. Have I already said that Ryuen deserved better? #RyuenRights

4.      Gintama 2: Rules are made to be broken

The barber shop scene is a fucking cinematic masterpiece. I never laughed so much like I did with this movie. The way it doesn’t take itself seriously, the meta jokes, everything is perfect. Even better than the first one.

5.      Kingdom

While I think that some fight scenes were way too long (like the bamboo forest one), the dynamics between Shin and Hyou/Eisei were highly entertaining, at least in my shipper eyes. I like that (SPOILER) the King of the Mountain People is a woman and not once they try to call her Queen. She is a King. Hashimoto Kanna is adorable as a Ten, Kanata Hongo does a great job as Eisei’s psycho brother, Sakaguchi Tak waves his sword around, the usual stuff but with added layers of dirt and sweat.

6.      Bravestorm

A movie I lovingly call “Japanese Pacific Rim”. Full of Kamen Rider stars (Hino Eiji! Misuzawa Haruka! That girl from Heisei Generations, the one with a sword! She has a sword in this as well!) and giant robots (god, I love giant robots!), I waited so much for this movie and it exceeded my expectations. I just wish I could’ve watched in theaters, it had a limited showing in my country.

7.      Twelve Suicidal Children

What begins as a murder mystery ends with a twist you won’t see coming. All of the actors are amazing, but special mention to Sugisaki Hana and that guy from that one boy group I forgot the name but can’t be bothered to Google.

8.      Gakkou Gurashi

Four girls and their teacher try to survive the zombie apocalypse trapped inside the school. This one destroyed me for days.

9.      Forest of Love

I’ve watched some Sono Sion movies but nothing prepared me for this. Be aware of extremely gory sequences and sensitive topics. Hinami Kyoko is so amazing as blue-haired, punk girl crush Taeko that I totally didn’t notice she was AkibaBlue in Akibaranger.

10.  The Host

After watching Parasite I decided to go on a Bong Joon Ho binge and watched this horror movie. Not as good as Snowpiercer and Parasite in my opinion but heart-wrenching nevertheless. The little girl is the star of the movie.

11.  The Hungry Lion

A story about the dangers of social media and slut-shaming. I want to punch Mizuishi Atom in the face.

12.  Cromartie High

A little absurd comedy about yakuza-style high school boys (played by middle-aged men lol) forming a club to battle aliens summoned by themselves just because. It made me laugh like a child. A hidden gem.

Honorable Mentions:

1.      River’s Edge

Depressing as fuck. Warning: the cats die. It’s not graphic but it’s traumatizing. Yoshizawa Ryo is a gay boy who sleeps with old men for money. There’s a graphic sex scene (not Yoshizawa, sadly) where my only thought was “That thing is gonna get stuck in there! Use a condom!” Can’t remember much from it except for these three scenes.

2.      The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Yamazaki Kento has the acting chops of a dead fish but it comes handy for playing a teen with psychic abilities and zero social skills. Hashimoto Kanna is one of the prettiest girls in Japan. Yoshizawa Ryo with white and blueish hair looks more like Sakata Gintoki than Oguri Shun in the Gintama live action. The end is a huge let down but the fun ride is worth it.

3.      Ano ko no, Toriko

Congratulations to Yoshizawa Ryo, he has FIVE movies in my list of favorite movies this year! This is to make up for crowning GIVER as the biggest waste of time of 2018, this list is totally not biased, lol. “Ano ko” could be just another romance movie but the (very) little insight into how the entertainment industry works and not focusing on school life made me love it. Poor Sugino Yosuke being left behind again, when will this boy get the main girl?

4.      Monstrum

It doesn’t reinvent the wheel but it’s pleasant enough to fill a rainy afternoon with a lot of blood and spilled guts. Hyeri of Girl’s Day is the heroine and Choi Woo Shik is the commander she falls in love with.

5.      Weirdo Go

I confess I watched this one just to see Ji Li (aka my snake son Nie Huaisang) dressed as a woman but it was enjoyable and not that problematic.

6.      Real - Kanzen Naru Kubinagaryu no Hi

Directed by the same guy that did “Creepy” and “Before we vanish”, there are lots of twists you won’t see coming. And a dinosaur. A fucking dinosaur.

7.      Tomodachi Game: The Final

The movie loses its focus halfway through then picks up again minutes before ending. Yoshizawa Ryo delivers again as the sadistic Yuuichi, much like his role in Gintama. The plot twists are the star of the movie.

8.     The Living Dead

Sorry Wen Ning. I saw the plot twist coming in the first 30 minutes of the movie, not very smart of the writer. His personality did a 180° turn for worse and I’ll demote the movie to an honorable mention for it. Gao Han is cute though, I would like to see him as a better character.

9.      Backstreet Girls

Some recycled scenes from the drama to situate the viewers, a completely new story for the movie, it is certainly funny and enjoyable, if you can get past the forced gender reassignment surgery background and transphobic jokes (you shouldn’t get past it btw). I like the soundtrack.

Best Dramas:

1.      The Untamed

Do I need to say more?

2.      The Tale of Nokdu

This Korean romance had everything to be a mess but it wasn’t!!! *claps* I don’t hate the main female character and the whole palace politics actually kept me interested until the end. The complete shift of atmosphere mid-season was strange at first but ultimately very welcomed.

3.      The Naked Director

Netflix original Japanese content is amazing. This one is a look at the life of a legendary porn director in the late 80s, I learned a lot about the history of Japanese porn and censorship (yay pixels!) and went looking for his, erm, works. Very graphic, 69/10 don’t recommend watching with people in the house.

4.      Channel wa Sonomama!

I don’t remember it well but it’s about a news station and what is like to be a journalist and it was very interesting and funny.

5.      SCAMS

Forgettable. Sugino Yosuke with black hair cons old people via phone calls.

Worst Movies and Dramas:

1.      The cat in their arms

The cats spend 90% of the movie in human forms, and halfway through it they simply abandon the cats’ plot to show a fucking long montage of a weird guy painting a picture of a nude girl. It’s also super creepy to see a grown-up man acting like a cat, getting belly rubs and eating cat food from a bowl. Yoshizawa needs to choose his roles more wisely.

2.      Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun

A waste of Suda Masaki’s talent. Can Japan stop casting Tsuchiya Tao already?

3.      Samurai Marathon

Almost two hours of dirty men running through a forest. Maybe Japanese History experts will enjoy it, because I certainly didn’t.

4.      Lady Vengeance

While there are legit great moments, I didn’t find this “classic” to be anything special. The animal cruelty was too much for me.

5.      Hot Gimmick

This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody’s editing look like a work of art. There are more flashing cuts than a T-ARA music video. I have no idea who likes who, who’s banging who, what even are they saying. Too much poetic shit for my like. I wanted to see Shimizu Hiroya naked. I was bamboozled.

6.      The Divine Fury

While some parts were interesting, at the end I still don’t know if the protagonist is possessed by a demon (if yes, then why would he help a priest destroy his friends?) or if he was blessed by God when his father died and talked to him (the glowing hand thing, why and how??). The exorcism parts are really, really scary, or maybe I’m just a chicken, but I had to avert my eyes. The best (only) part is that the protagonists are hot. Hello Woo Do-Hwan, you can sacrifice me to Satan any time…

[goth-giraffe]

Not-so-quick guide to my OCs that I sometimes talk about here! xD So... Echo and Meredith, really. Plus a bonus one! Plus new art! :D

Warning, this is gonna be long so I put it under a cut :)

Anyway, because he’s the one that will definitely be mentioned most here, let’s start with..

Echo~

(I didn’t say anything about the quality of the new art xD)

Echo is my persona/self insert character..... he’s really just an alternate version of me (I like to think he’s my Alola form :3)

And like me he’s lonely so he has imaginary friends to keep him going, his current one being Loki ‘cause my current obsession is Loki

Echo is kinda hard to explain because everything about him fluctuates depending on my mood.. there are different versions of him and he doesn’t exactly have a set story or universe.. (For instance I didn’t create him specifically to hang out with Loki, but when I needed a friend I gave him Loki as an imaginary one)

Anyway! Some basic facts! He’s ace/aro, and agenderfluid (questioning?), with he/him pronouns (they/them is safe too though)

Kinda short, 5′2″ ish

Around my age, 17-20, but the mental age of anywhere from 8-17 ish.... he’s always kind of childish but how extreme varies from moment to moment

He’s AFAB but I usually draw him flat-chested because I use him as a way to combat dysphoria so, should anyone else want to draw him, best to draw him flat-chested

Loves trying on clothes! (Mainly because I like a lot of clothes but pretty much exclusively wear pajamas so... yeah I use my OCs as models)

Quiet, non-verbal in some versions (in which case he’ll write in a notepad to communicate), very shy

Sometimes makes clicking noises to calm himself

Daydreams a lot, also sleeps a lot

Gets upset over dumb things... and he’s scared of everything

Doesn’t really like being touched but sometimes snuggles Loki when he’s upset

He’s probably autistic

Probably also has borderline personality disorder.. but I’m unsure about giving him the disorders I think I have, because I don’t actually have a diagnosis (scared of doctors).. nonetheless, a lot of the symptoms that come with those disorders, he has

Likes to draw and his muse is Loki

Likes bugs, especially butterflies

Collects rocks

Eats goldfish crackers

Has really bad posture

Okay at this point I’m just adding random facts about me which is probably weird idk xD I don’t know what more to say about him soo yeah... this is my weird persona

aand next up-

Meredith~

(I liked how this art turned out tbh and I might repost it on my other blog..)

Meredith is an OC insert specifically for Marvel Cinematic Universe

She’s dating Loki, and you’ll find a lot more about her and Loki at @cuddly-loki​! (It’s my blog specifically for them! :D)

Buuuut I do mention her here occasionally because I love her (and there are definitely traces of her from when this blog was cuddly-loki), so I’m including her in this :3

She’s not really into labels but she is kinda gendermeh, I think of her as a nonbinary woman (...or soft butch, but I call her that mostly when Loki happens to swap genders), but she just uses she/her pronouns

Again, meh about labels but she has dated both feminine and masculine people, and she doesn’t really experience physical attraction the same as most people

Kinda goth, dresses mostly in greyscale colours and in kind of goth/punk clothes I guess (also, she prefers androgynous clothes)

Really affectionate with people close to her, close friends and her boyfriend of course :3 (mild PDA does not make her uncomfortable but it sure does irritate Loki)

Quiet, but not shy- she’ll talk to anyone probably but she’d rather watch them until it makes them uncomfortable xD

Once you get past the being weird or goth to creep you out though, she’s very soft and pretty nice (even if still a little dark)

She’s an aspiring musician.. sorta. She plays violin and loves music.. but also has a weird relationship with music, we’ll just leave it at that for now

Works night shift as a bartender

Likes horror movies

Favourite food is pizza

Loves birds

Doesn’t like technology very much

She has a lineup of mental disorders too I’m sure, she’s an ex junkie for one and likes to feel numb to things.. 

Also has persistent insomnia, either related to her depression or depression meds, who knows

Lives in her apartment with a couple plants and Loki, who is still adjusting to Earth life

Like mentioned above you can find more of Meredith at my blog @cuddly-loki​ and if you ask questions about her or her and Loki I will probably be very happy :)

Side note: Meredith is not meant to be a self insert but we do have things in common, and I’d probably get along with her. She’s pretty chill and gets along with most people though haha

A little bonus one, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned her here before but just in case

Gwyneth~

(Okay this turned out a little messy but ehh. It was kind of just from memory, I might have still had references for her but I lost them when my jumpdrive quit so meh)

She’s a dead character that I don’t use anymore and won’t be using anymore but on the off chance I’ve mentioned her or do mention her, I’ll go ahead and add her to this as a little bonus

I created her when I first started obsessing over Loki, and she was a self insert I used to selfship romantically with him... it was okay for a brief time but in the end I hated it. It’s hard to explain, kind of personal.. but for one thing, I’m pretty sure I’m aromantic. I love soft romance stuff but I don’t really want to be part of it.

...And that’s why I killed Gwyneth and created Meredith ehehe

I’m gonna talk about her a little anyway, for one, she was an artist/painter

She liked to take pictures of strangers to paint them and I’m pretty sure that’s how she met Loki (AKA the weirdo on the sidewalk in the all black suit)

I honestly don’t remember what her actual income came from, maybe she was on disability, Idk

Anyway she was a mess. Severely depressed. Couldn’t really keep herself together.

She hid behind jokes and sarcasm though, so no one really knew how bad she was (even Loki, for a time)

She would climb trees which annoyed Loki a little bit, turns out trickster gods don’t enjoy having to climb trees just to talk to their girlfriends

Wore a trench coat as kind of a comfort item (because that’s what I did at that time)

Often got lost in daydreams...

Scared of most things...

Yeah you’ll notice she’s a lot like Echo (even the hair- pbbt). I’ve had a lot of self inserts over the years, killed off when my anxiety convinced me I was being cringey or when they didn’t feel like me anymore.. with Gwyneth it was maybe a tiny bit those things but also other stuff, like being aromantic questioning. Creating Echo was a new start for me because it was more of an exploration of where I’m comfy gender-wise... and, unlike most of my other self inserts, I don’t really age him up. But most importantly... he’s very emotionally messy but he doesn’t hide it (or else he doesn’t hide it well) because one of my things is I need to at least pretend that people would still love me if they knew how sad and broken I am. So.. yes, Echo is a sensitive character, he upsets easily and he’s usually pretty sad.. but that’s kind of the point, because he’s still loved. 

.....Anyway sorry for going back to Echo. I don’t have a lot more to say about Gwyneth - she’s dead and not coming back - but she was a stepping stone to where I’m currently comfortable so, RIP Gwyneth I suppose :)

On the page I drew them on it’s kinda funny because it looks like Meredith and Echo are very uncomfortable that Gwyneth is there (which was only semi-intentional ehehe) 

Echo looks cautiously curious but Meredith looks very awkward like “Oh.. so you’re back...” ..she’s hiding something... And Gwyneth’s like “So... how’s Loki been?” xD

All these characters are obviously kinda similar which is part of why I put them all here (....clearly I have an obsession with blue hair but shhh), also their connections to Loki, haha.... Meredith is definitely the most connected, Echo’s Loki isn’t real and Gwyneth is dead, so... yeah.

Anyway hopefully this was a little helpful. I might make better guides for Meredith and Echo sometime but for now this works. Also, always feel free to ask questions about them!! :)