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I'm just gonna be less dramatic and not delete and just take a pause until my anxiety levels get a little better.
#and hopefully then i wont freak out whenever a blocked person pops up on my feed because I will have my shit together a bit more#i appreciate this still sounds dramatic but IDK maybe its still okay to make a PSA#i personally always think its sad when people are just gone#and you think -oh no youre my internet friend i never directly talked to but still felt like i knew really well somehow-
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I’m not a good person. Jeremy Strong as Kendall Roy in S3E09 of SUCCESSION
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accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you
#honestly the shift in me when my first therapist told me: you ARE different to most people and you need to stop trying to change it#and instead learn to live with the fact and adapt accordingly#it doesnt magically make everything better but at least you let go trying to do the impossible
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I think I'm at the point where I seriously need to start thinking about a pill dispenser.
#I just keep forgetting the afternoon ones#but maybe id just forget them in the dispenser too?#and half of my meds isnt in pill form anyway. is that not gonn be confusing?
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#writing is hard#no I WILL finish Tangled Up In Blue#and then I will finish the season 13-14 thingie that is already way too long and too close to canon but that was also the point and i cant#have it both ways#but I also really want to rewrite at least one of the 5 shitty novels i wrote#and the 5 others that are always kind of being written in my head#and what for?
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My partner showed tentative interest in watching Succession with me. Now I've got to tread carefully.
#succession#i never got him to watch even one SPN episode with me because I got too weird about it#but i guess enough people are telling him Succession is up there with the best shows ever for him to be curious so...#fingers crossed.#not spn
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#sam winchester#black and white#nice! this looks like a still from an insane english 60s crime thriller
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It's kinda stupid of Dean to ask Sam why he doesn't like the new bunker with the fancy lights and the lockdown system and all because it's exactly like the Singer panic room! Just classier! I mean what does he want Sam to say???
"Hey Sammy why don't you like the bunker, man?"
"Because fucker you keep chaining and locking me up and you shove a belt in my mouth like fucking porn games so excuse me for not being too welcoming to this new space"??????
#in general putting someone with severe ptsd in an underground bunker and expecting him to feel at home is... quite something#didnt even think about the panic room parrallels#sam and ptsd#sam and dean
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What I feel while watching The Beatles Get Back series is what I imagine people feel like watching The Kardashians
#i kept thinking: Wow human interaction is so fascinating!!!#communication and the lack thereof!#not saying what you mean etc etc#beatles#not spn
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Succession 3x09 end credits music
#not enough people talking about the music!!!#one of the best scores of the past years. and it does so much for the show#i tried to play the theme today but its too hard for me right now#damn short fingers#music#succession#not spn
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#succession#not spn#thought it was toms hand instead of gregs at first... would have made it even better...
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i’m also thinking about how there’s something particularly nauseating about tom and greg’s play… they’re from outside of all this, they see the insidious warped violence and grotesque machinations of wealth and power and are offered outs and instead dig their heels in… the siblings were gestated in this primordial soup of neglect and abuse and manipulation and have to claw to be human things, have to mask their desperation for connectivity in business acumen and designer suits… ken talks about wanting nothing more to find a way out from all their shit a way out toward something looking like a life for all of them and tom and greg are looking for a way in
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Why do I still have to see people I've blocked on my timeline as reblogs? What's the point of blocking then?
#so i really just have to delete tumblr or deal with that?#or unfollow all people interacting with them?#this is stupid :/
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Watching Get Back I'm oscillating between being enthralled by the social awkwardness and strong clothes envy.
#also music magic etc etc#george obviously has the best clothes but at some point Ringo is in this sweater that looks so comfy#all the maroon and mustard colors should never have gone out of style#the beatles#not spn
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A little pissed that John Kreese fixed his teeth between season 3 and 4.
#cobra kai#i was honestly glad he still had his original teeth because why would an army vet with no money have expensive teeth?#am i supposed to believe its from the cobra kai money? Please...#not spn
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