#i personally always think its sad when people are just gone
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banana-can-do-art · 2 days ago
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Guys I just finished the well it’s not the entirety of Riddle’s dream there’s still like an hour and a half that hasn’t been translated on Gasmask’s channel but I finished the part that they did translate and omg heeelp this is the best dream yet. This is so sad omg I have to ramble about it also all translations I’m using are from gas mask on YouTube.
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First of all omg he’s so happy it’s making me sad. Also him saying that he would be tired of everything being the same all the time right after I made that post rambling about how his implied OCD causes him to always do everything in a “samey” manner I aaaaagghhhh. And he’s saying that he’s going to have a chaotic band because in his dream he isn’t upset when things aren’t in order and he can just let himself be happy. You can’t do this to meeee! But there’s more!
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Look he’s happily breaking the rules and feeling no anxiety about it whatsoever. (OCD be gone). In his dream world he can do what he wants with no terrible parents or mental illness holding him back. Look at him he’s adorable. And then we have this though agghhh.
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This is so sad! When Ace and everyone tells him about what he’s like in real life as though they are talking about another person, Riddle immediately hates the person they are describing. Because he doesn’t like who he is irl. In fact, Riddle even says here that he hates school and studying and that it makes people miss out on the fun things in life. It’s so sad because who he actually is irl is the complete opposite of what he wants to be. He’s so isolated and self loathing I can’t.
Also in the dream Riddle isn’t even a mage. Because he doesn’t even actually like doing magic because all of the joy was sapped out of that for him because he’s always expected to do it perfectly. He never just gets to do magic because he wants to or because it’s fun but rather only because others expect and pressure him too. It feels like the idea of a hobby losing its charm and fun when people have to make it into their jobs. (I hope that doesn’t happen to me heeeelp)
Also I felt so bad for Trey during this because he knows the most about Riddle’s reality and he is the entrenched in it himself. Riddle’s mom screamed at him for five hours as a child and he’s scarred from everything that happened with Riddle and his mom as a kid and yet now he’s supposed to just walk into Riddle’s house like nothing’s wrong. That must be so jarring and unsettling. Props to Trey for managing to do that honestly that’s freaking terrifying.
Also I can’t with all of those pictures on the wall. What do you mean he hates his real life so much that in his dreams his entire memory has become fabricated. His real life memories are completely different from his dream memories. And what do you mean that in his dream his parents are together and they love him and neither of them are mages and he just lives a happy and normal life?! What do you mean?!
Also, even though his parents love him in the dream, his mom has been so awful to him irl that even though everything is fake he can’t even actually picture her face saying nice things to him so it’s just the house talking to him. That’s so awful!
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Also then we get this whole reference to the scene in Alice in wonderland where Alice has the big tears and people are drowning. Except it’s tea this time lol. Also Riddle crying that he wants to get out of the house is so sad even in his dreams he can’t escape agshdjdjdj. Omg Cater is so funny in the drowning scene though, he’s just like stop crying we’re gonna drown lmao. Also I know Chenya is fake but it is still so unbelievably funny how he is literally drowning in tea and yet he just has this huge smirk on his face the whole time lol. Chenya’s so silly.
Also the house became so creepy omg I saw someone saying it looks like an rpg maker horror game and like it really does! Specifically I think it really looks like Sunny’s house during the truth sequence of Omori.
Speaking of rpg maker horror games, Malleus was really channeling his inner rpg maker horror villain this update. Poor Idia lol. My condolences to Idia, he’s become the main character of an rpg maker horror game. I dunno Idia if we are going for Omori parallels then maybe you should open that door.
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And then later when he gets pulled deeper the dream reflects false desires. To have control over the dorm while everyone bows down to him is was he thinks he wants but not his actual true desire. That’s why in the second layer of his dream even though he is in power, he still seems miserable because we know that he doesn’t even want to be a mage in the first place, much less have all of these rules.
And then Chenya pushes him over and he gets tangled in his cape lmao. That was so funny and then the screen is just Riddle with his feet in the air lmao. That outfit is not conducive to getting up from a fall.
But omg when the darkness is telling him that in the dream they respect him while irl he is isolated it’s so sad. Because he knows that irl his rules and strictness (and OCD) isolate him and that’s why it’s so difficult for him to make friends. He understands that he is lonely because he is a control freak like this, and yet it’s the only thing that he knows how to do because it’s all he’s been taught. (And also because he’s mentally ill you see).
This is all so sad I can’t. Twst! How could you do this to me?!
Anyway, in conclusion punk band Riddle is the most amazing thing to ever grace my eyeballs just look at him. We need a Riddle vocaloid band rhythm game spinoff immediately actually. Also his new fit is absolutely slaying look at him go!
Now I must wait in agony for the next hour and a half or so to be translated by the great and amazing fandom hero, gasmask.
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savage-rhi · 5 months ago
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Late night magenta.
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caruliaa · 1 year ago
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someone else when theyre in a thinking of someone as their best friend when they dont think of them that way contest and their opponent is me
#im such a champion in this catagoryy i thought i cldnt top myself but with the person i saw as one of my closest friends#and my best friend telling me im not their best friend and they dont want to be close anymore#im rly setting the world record in being stupid and niave enough to be so attached to#people while being needy and stupid enough for them to not be as attached to me đŸ˜»đŸ˜»đŸ˜»đŸ˜»#ykw im not doing it anymore! ill stil try to have close friends and ill make it something clear about me#so i dont do to anyone what was just done to me people know ill never think of them as their best friend before theyd ever consider it#but im not fucking. im not putting myself through being so attached to others just to get let down#and idc ik its soo sad poor sweet optomistic person we all love to have as a friend#so we can benefit from their kindness but wed never think of as closely as they think of us is gone#ik its soo sad for all of u tht im not just some stupid kindness spout that wont turn of anymore#but im just done with its not worth it. im always the one getting hurt and im done getting close enough to let it happen again#AND WHO GIVES A SHIT. NO ONE CARES. WHATS THE POINT#THE PERSON WHO I WANTED BY MY SIDE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE#DIDNT EVEN WANNA STAY BY MY SIDE FOR THE WEEKS LEADING TO MY STUPID BIRTHDAY#WHAT EVEN MATTERS ANYMORE. DEFINATLY NOT ME WHATS THE POINT#TELL SOMEONE YOUR MOST. THE TYPE OF THING THATS SO SCARY TO ADMIT TO ANYONE#AND THEY JUST GET RID OF YOU WHEN LIFE GETS DIFFICULT AFTER YOU OFFER TO MAKE IT EASIER#WHO CARES. who cares. whatever im so mad and scared and empty and upset and just#idl how im ever gonna get through this. its just too much to even feel or deal with#flappy rambles#vent
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luveline · 9 months ago
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—you meet Spencer again after losing out on the BAU job. he comforts you while you do your best not to flirt. bombshell!reader, 0.9k
You lose out on the BAU job to Elle Greenaway. It drives you crazy.
You work just as hard as Elle does, you’re professional no matter what Jason Gideon has to say about you, and you know you could do it. You have just as many successes as Elle does.
It makes you feel sick. You tried so, so hard.
I’m sorry, Hotch had said, and at least you’d had his support. He was kind enough to tell you in person. I can’t make the decision without Gideon, and if he thinks you aren’t right for it right now, we’ll have to wait.
Wait. As though Jason Gideon was ever going to change his mind about you.
You open your purse and take out the barrel of your sheer lipstick. Your compact is next. You hold the mirror up and angle your face in the sun, popping the lid off of the lipstick, and pressing its flat end to your bottom lip. The line you draw is perfectly precise. Your hand barely trembles.
You drop the mirror down and rub your lips together slowly. No matter what falls out of your control, you can present yourself to your liking. You can be immaculate. You—
“Hi.”
You look up from your rumination, startled. You’d been thinking so hard someone actually got the run up on you.
“Hi,” you say, tilting your head gently toward your shoulder.
Dr. Spencer Reid stands a polite three feet away from you. He’s suddenly changed. The last time you met him he was wearing his long hair in a side part. Now it’s split down the middle, just a touch shorter at the sides, and he’s wearing glasses.
(He’s wearing glasses!)
You’d thought he was pretty before.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m good,” you say, tempted to call him baby, maybe sweetheart. He’s a sweet looking boy. His sweater vest makes you wanna hold his hand. “Thank you for asking. Why are you asking?”
You talk to him with no derision nor malice, just curiosity.
He frowns. It gives his eyes a sad shine. “I know you wanted the open position. You would’ve been great at it.”
“You think so?” you ask, surprised.
“I’ve seen some of your write ups. We’ve used your summaries in one of our profiles, do you
 remember that?”
You send Hotch anything he wants to see.
“I don’t know why Gideon doesn’t like you
 He’s so rarely wrong about people, but you’re
” He licks his lips nervously. “You’re– you’re smart. You’re inquisitive. I think you would be an asset to the team, and it’s a shame you didn’t get your chance.”
You’re making him nervous and it isn’t your intention. You put your hands in your lap and stop giving him the look, swapping your amicable smile for a proper friendly one. “Thank you. Is it okay if I call you Spencer? Dr. Spencer Reid is a lot to say at once.”
He laughs, still nervous. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”
“Spencer, thank you for caring so much, but I’m okay. I think I might still have a chance one day, but with Elle gone, the sex crimes division is going to need me.” You lift your chin. If he’s sought you out to tell you he’s sorry, your premonitions about him when you met a few weeks ago were correct. He’s as kind as he is pretty. “I love your glasses. Are they for reading?”
“I always wore glasses when I was a kid, and then I started working here, and I thought it might make me seem less
 childish, if I wore contacts, but they’re the worst.”
You laugh happily. He says it in such a pained voice. “The glasses suit you so much,” you say, shoving your things into your bag and standing. “Did you wanna go for coffee? I need a pick me up before I go back to the office.”
Spencer touches his wrist. “Are you serious?”
“Why wouldn’t I be serious?” you ask, again, without a drop of malice. You’re not stupid, Spencer has all the nervousness of someone who’s been mistreated before, and heartily, and it’s easy to be soft with him not solely because of it, but because he seems so sweet. You could happily be his friend. “Do you like coffee? We could get those hot donuts from the cafeteria, have you tried those?”
You close the little gap between you both and raise your hand carefully to his face. Gentle, you try to pull a stray hair from the hinge of his glasses leg without snapping it.
“You can tell me all the stuff I’m doing wrong.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong,” Spencer says.
“Come on, there has to be something.”
His mouth gives him away. “It’s not that you’re doing it wrong, you’re just– you– you’re not looking at things the
” Your fingertip brushes his cheek as you drop your hand. “
Right way, sometimes.”
“I wanted your recommendations.” You bump his elbow with yours. “I’ll buy you a coffee and you can write me a list. Cool?”
He cleared his throat. “Yes. Cool.”
You’re thinking it’ll be the start of a good friendship. You and Dr. Reid make quite a pair.
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curseofaphrodite · 2 months ago
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you and me.
REMUS LUPIN X FEM!READER | fluff
summary: the aftermath of fake dating. | kofi
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Can I feel sad over breaking up with someone I never dated? Remus thought, sipping his glass of butterbeer.
Gryffindor had won their gazillionth Quidditch match in a row, and the party was in full swing. He might be the only person not intoxicated, but the urge to let that record go became more and more persistent when he watched you laughing with that blonde prick from Ravenclaw.
Why are Ravenclaws even allowed in here? Didn't they freaking lose to Gryffindor?
"Yeah mate, but Darcy is an exception 'cause our Y/N likes him," Sirius explained, his words slurring.
"Did I say that out loud?" Remus wondered, looking at his butterbeer. "This is my first glass. How can I be drunk already?"
"My beautiful girlfriend," James sighed, patting Lily's head — who was already asleep on his lap. "Had the beautiful idea to do a Refill Charm on all utensils, so your first glass will always stay your first glass."
Remus groaned. "For Prefects, you guys do a lot of troublemaking."
"Hogwarts nearing its end, Moony," James said dreamily, his eyes soft as can be. "It's the season to let all hell break loose."
Remus grunted something inaudible, which Sirius found funny. He fell from the couch laughing.
"Woah, woah," James turned his mom-mode on. "No more refilling glass for you, Pads."
"Take it away from him first," Sirius pointed at Lupin. "He's the one crying over his ex-girlfriend."
"I thought they were just fake-dating?"
"We were!" Remus said defensively.
"For Darcy to get jealous?"
"Yes."
"And he did get jealous so they broke up?"
"We all know the story, thank you very much."
"Oh my god Sirius, do you think Remus fell in love with Y/N while they were fake dating?"
"Can you please stop talking like I'm not here!" Lupin said, throwing his hands up in protest. "Y/N is dumb to go after him and I would never like her. Most importantly, I do not like that asshole Darcy, who got the name and character of an egoistic 18th-century pig! She only liked him because he's hot and popular!"
Silence fell among your friends, one that seemed like he was in trouble. Following their line of gaze, he turned around to see you towering over him, your hands on your hips and an unmistakable hurt look.
"Y/N—"
"Is that what you think of me?" you asked softly, anger slowly tinting your voice. "And of Darcy? You helped me get him jealous and now you think he's a pig?"
"I'm drunk?" Remus tried helplessly.
"You think I went after him because he's popular and hot?!"
"Well, he is popular and hot—"
"I haven't even gone on one date with him yet and you guys are already talking shit about me!?"
"It was just Remus!" Sirius said defensively. Remus shot him a sharp glare.
"I cannot fucking believe you guys!"
You stormed off before Lupin could open his mouth again.
"For what it's worth," Marlene said earnestly. "I do think he's a pig. He's been dating that Slytherin girl on the down low. Real casual, everyone says."
Remus sat up straight. "What about Y/N then?"
"Well, my sources say he already tried asking her out on a date. And she said no."
"What, why?"
"Girls tell girls and they tell more girls. My guess is she found out about the Slytherin girl and didn't want to get involved in their mess."
"Then why on earth would she bring him to this party?" Remus asked in exasperation. "Why does she have to be so confusing!?"
Marlene shrugged.
--------------------------------------------------
Once you get mad at someone, you shut them out completely. Being your close friend, Remus knew this already, but he never expected to be on the receiving end. Over the next few days, you mysteriously disappeared whenever he saw you and never sat next to him in classes. While eating, you always came in late and sat two rows of people down, and while he tried to come up and talk to you, you'd disappear yet again.
If he didn't know better, he would have thought you mastered how to disapparate within the Hogwarts wall itself.
After Potions class one day, Remus was more determined than usual. He stayed behind when he spotted you clearing a doubt with Professor Slughorn. He'd just have to ambush you when that was done.
"You're wasting your time," Lily came by his side. "Slughorn talks her ears out for hours. And if she sees you, she'll just run to the loo, which happens to be just down the hallway."
"We're not in first year! She wouldn't be that childish."
"Oh, don't let her hear you that."
Remus sighed. "Alright, fuck it."
"Wha—?"
Before Lily could finish that question, Remus barged over to the front desk, where you were talking animatedly to Slughorn. Your eyes widened when you saw him, but before you could react, he bent down and scooped you up, and threw you over his shoulders. His werewolf strength had never been more helpful.
You yelped in surprise, but he walked off before Slughorn could react.
"Let me down!" you yelled, but he remained as quiet as ever. The last thing you saw before you talked out of that room was Lily trying to hold back a laugh.
------
Remus put you down when he reached an empty classroom, and he closed the door behind him before you could pull another disappearing act.
"You have got to stop acting like a kid!" he started, completely ignoring what Lily had said.
"Excuse me?" you scoffed, though you felt a little embarrassed yourself. "You're the one who basically called me dumb for liking a freaking guy!"
"He is a dumb guy. I didn't call you dumb. I just called the act of liking him dumb."
"How is that any different, Lupin?"
"Wow!" Remus laughed, though he looked anything but friendly. "One fight and I'm on last name basis? Over your fucking boyfriend?"
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Then why the hell did you bring him to the party?!"
"I didn't! He came with Alice, you utter buffoon!"
That shut him up. But you weren't finished.
"You're always quick to judge and I never thought you'd include me in that list and—"
"Y/N—"
"—no, you listen to me. If I did go on a date with someone, it's none of your business since you said you'd never like me. So stop pretending like my fucking boyfriend because we stopped that act weeks ago! He and I are no more than friends than you and I are!"
Whatever he was about to say choked and died away in his throat. You felt guilty, though you didn't know why.
"No more than you and me." Remus gritted his teeth. "Makes sense."
You watched him walk away in all kinds of feelings. But before you could call out, before you could react in any way, he stopped and turned.
"Ah, fuck it," he said for the second time that day and walked straight back to you.
You felt his hold on your face and then his lips were on yours. Your eyes widened before closing altogether. You grabbed him by his collar and kissed him back, as hurried and passionate as him.
"Still friends?" he asked in between the kisses, picking you up again to put you on top of the benches.
"Not by a long shot," you smiled against his lips, pulling him closer.
----------------------
Lily's face was red when she reached the common room.
"What happened?" James asked, sitting up straight.
"Next time we have a meeting with Dumbledore, we should ask him to soundproof the dungeons." She said, shuddering.
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heliianth · 6 months ago
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mini meta because i cant get this fucking scene out of my brain:
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its one of my fav Alluka scenes because its a sneak peek into her frankly miraculous emotional intelligence that simultaneously contextualizes it. She's still a little kid. Alluka is a smart cookie who can properly recognize and identify what people are feeling, can generally guess why they're feeling it, and get an idea of what would make them happy. But that "feeling" is hate for her, and what would make them happy is her disappearing. Really heartbreaking.
but the way Killua responds is also pretty fascinating to me? like, he pivots so fucking hard LOL. And I get it, it's such a loaded question. Would the Zoldycks be happier if Alluka was gone? Realistically, the answer is no... but admitting that would require a self-awareness about his family and his abuse Killua doesn't have yet. He probably doesn't even know how to answer, doesn't know what the answer even is.
So instead of digging into that can of worms, Killua cocks his own shotgun and fires back another loaded question: "If I were the only one who loved you in the whole world... would that make you sad?"
There were like a dozen other, much safer ways to both avoid this question and comfort Alluka. It's not even a full dodge, it's directly related to Alluka's fear via implication (the rest of the family doesn't love you). And it's not like Killua hasn't verbally weaseled his way out of tougher conversations. So... why?
I'm gonna try to truncate my full thoughts because I literally have a WIP 5k+ meta about it and I don't want to go down that rabbit hole, but Killua projects onto Alluka and Nanika a lot in this arc. Keeping that in mind, I think this question is his best, most earnest way of comforting Alluka because this train of thought is what's comforted him in the past.
I mean, think about it. Someone who will love and accept you no matter who you are or what you've done? Just one person who doesn't care? He's putting himself in the position of Alluka's Gon-figure here. And if you buy into that, the followup—"I'll always be there for you. Don't worry about anyone else"—reveals how a portion of his subconscious saw his emotionally dependent relationship with Gon as well; that is, as a comforting means to psychologically avoid confronting harder questions about himself, his upbringing, or how other people view him. It's kind of no coincidence that the minute Gon is wholly and totally incapacitated and Killua starts mucking around with the revolutionary idea of boundaries, he immediately starts thinking about his family again (in some manner).
And as an indulgent aside, I want to point out that when he ends up sending Nanika—who is, unlike Alluka, a subject of Killua's darker and more self-hating projections—away and Alluka fights back instead of internalizing it, Killua immediately recognizes the irrationality...
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...because it breaks the mirror.
anyway. squeezes and shakes them like squeaky toys
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leaderwonim · 1 year ago
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𓇻 I’M A FEMINIST, OBVIOUSLY, BUT I WOULDN’T REALLY MIND HIM SAVING ME.
▾ PAIRING.. class president!yang jungwon x outcast!fem!reader
▾ SYNP. jang y/n hated yang jungwon. perfect, loved by everybody, class president yang jungwon. people only liked him because he was a man and he was charismatic. however, when she’s being picked on by the girls at school, yang jungwon comes to her rescue, and weirdly, she didn’t mind it?
▾ GENRE. enemies to lovers (it’s one sided though, yn just hates jw😭) angst, mentions of bullying, mentions of sexism, fluff
author’s note: this is based off of olivia rodrigo’s unreleased song! This was honestly so much fun to write and it took me about 3 days cause I fell violently ILL like the day after I started writing😭 As usual, REBLOGS and COMMENTS are so greatly appreciated <33
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Jang Y/N was what people called an outcast. Although she was pretty and had the grades, she heavily disliked half of her class, which in turn, didn’t exactly make her very popular.
“I hate him.” She says as she shoves a spoonful of rice into her mouth. Her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung, who told her that she shouldn’t be so negative all the time.
“Who, Jungwon?” Wonyoung asks, frowning. “Yah Y/N, you can’t hate him forever. He’s nothing but nice to you.”
“I don’t care,” Y/N mumbles angrily, putting away her lunch. “Wonyo, people only like him because he’s a man who can say a few charming words. He smiles and at least half of our class falls onto their knees or something.”
Wonyoung chokes at her sister’s comparison, and can’t help but let out a little laugh. “I’m just saying Y/nie, you can’t just despise him because he seems perfect to the naked eye. In fact, I say become friends with him. It’ll be good for you.”
Y/N shuts down the idea right away, much to Wonyoung’s dismay.
“I am just saying,” Wonyoung stands up, finished with her lunch. “I mean, don’t you find it sad? That you eat lunch everyday with your sister instead of eating with friends or a boyfriend?”
“No,” Y/N says, frowning. “I like eating lunch with you Wonyo.”
“Hm, I guess.”
The Jang sisters lock arms, strolling to their next class. They miss the longing glance that Yang Jungwon sends towards Y/N’s direction, already too far gone into the Decelis Academy hallway.
‏‏‎ ‎
Unfortunately for Y/N, she had her leadership class with Jungwon, where they would discuss things like student politics and how to better the school so that Decelis could stay at its rightful place of number one on private academy rankings.
It was stupid, Y/N thought, Decelis shouldn’t even be close to number one, this school was filled with a bunch of spoilt children who were obsessed with the idea of money and power.
“Is there a problem, Miss. Jang?” The teacher asks, noticing the little scoffs she was adding each time Jungwon spoke about an initiative he wanted to add.
“No,” Y/N shrugs. “I just think Yang Jungwon’s new initiative is just a waste of time. It's not going to solve anything.”
Jungwon smirks, something that Y/N so desperately wants to wipe the floor with. “Y/N, always the critic of my ideas. Very well, let’s hear your brilliant solution.”
She rolls her eyes. Of course Yang Jungwon wanted to pretend to remain civil, if he had blown up on her, it would’ve tarnish his reputation, and Yang Jungwon would be nothing without his reputation, right?
“Instead of your one-size-fits-all approach method, we need personalized mentorship programs. Each student faces unique challenges, and your initiative doesn't address that.”
Jungwon smiles. “Well I suppose you’re right. But perhaps if you actually joined the initiative, you'd understand its effectiveness.”
Y/N grits her teeth, not enjoying how much Yang Jungwon was enjoying this. “Oh, right, because following the herd blindly is the key to success? Unlike half of Decelis’ population, I prefer independent thinking.”
The boy leans closer in, face almost touching the girl. “Sometimes collaboration is the key to progress, Y/N. Try it sometime.”
The two students make eye contact until Y/N breaks, finally pulling her eyes away.
“As usual, Yang Jungwon always has to be right.” She mumbles under her breath. “God, please save me from being in this class any longer,”
‏‏‎ ‎
Y/N throws her backpack on the floor as soon as she steps into her house, not caring about the expensive computer her grandmother had bought her last Christmas that was stuffed inside. Her parents were in the kitchen, discussing something in hushed whispers, almost as if it was top secret.
Always being the curious child, she leans onto the wall that separated the living room and kitchen, trying to make out what the topic was about.
“I’m just worried honey,” she can hear her mom say as her dad rubs her back comfortingly. “Y/N doesn’t have a lot of friends at that school, Wonyoung told me about it. You know she only hangs out with her sister and that’s it?”
“I mean, is it really that bad that she only hangs out with Wonyoung? She’s always been quiet, I think we’ve just got to respect that. She’s an excellent student anyway, there’s no harm in having little friends.”
Although her parents truly just wanted the best for her, Y/N felt like a complete loser by how they were going about it.
She quickly rushed to her room, biting her lip in annoyance at how everybody seemed to have an opinion about her life. She was happy with how it was going, and she didn’t care that her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung was a sweetheart and lived with her, it was a built in best friend for life.
“Just you wait,” Y/N huffs, sharpening her pencil. “I’m gonna go to university, leave this place, and I won’t have to hear about any of these kids ever again.”
‏‏‎
Y/N woke up the next day with a red eye, probably from crying last night despite telling herself she didn’t care.
She cared, a lot.
Romanticizing being alone was fun until she realized that she was truly all alone, with no friends to lean on.
“Is that Jang Y/N?”
Park Jiwon. The devil herself. She was evil as she was pretty, and she had no problem making Y/N’s life a living hell.
“Where’s Wonyoung? Did your own sister finally get tired of you?” Her little group of minions laugh as if it was the funniest thing ever, and Y/N tries and stops herself from giving them all a swing to the face.
“No, but I’m sure you’re used to that feeling, right Jiwon?”
“Oh you little b—”
“Jiwon, you can’t hit her! You’ll get suspended and it’ll go on your permanent record.” Her friend says, which makes the girl straighten up right away.
“You’re lucky Jang,” the girl snarls. “But yah, what were you thinking? Talking back to Jungwon? He’s so smart and handsome, dedicating his time to make initiatives for the school. You should be more grateful.”
She and her minions get so close that they practically push Y/N back onto the locker, suffocating her with their glares.
“Hey, what’s going on here?” The voice of Jungwon doesn’t go unnoticed by a single girl, who, all but Y/N, straighten up their hair when they realize he’s behind them.
“We’re just talking, right Y/N?” Jiwon says, pinching onto the girl tightly.
“Really? It doesn’t seem like it.” Jungwon rolls his eyes. “Park Jiwon, don’t make me give you detention for picking on other students. It doesn’t make you attractive.”
The girl gasps, immediately letting Y/N go as her face heats up in embarrassment.
“I wasn’t—”
“Just go.” With one point of a finger, Yang Jungwon got Park Jiwon and her minions out of the hallway, leaving Y/N and him alone.
“You okay?” He asks her, eyes concerned.
“Thank you,” she breathes out. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Why didn’t I?” He raises his eyebrows. “You were getting picked on.”
“Well, I’m not the nicest to you.” The girl says, suddenly embarrassed. “At all, actually. So thank you Jungwon, really.”
“Ah,” the boy smiles. “It’s nothing. I don’t hate you if that’s what you think, I think you have a brilliant mind just like me.”
And for the first time since she’s stepped into the school, Jang Y/N finds herself liking Yang Jungwon, and not just for his looks.
‏‏‎
“Y/N!” The loud voice of Yang Jungwon doesn’t go by Wonyoung, who gives her sister a smirk as she slightly pushes back her shoulder.
“Wonder why he’s coming,” she teases, which makes Y/N scrunch up her nose in annoyance.
“Would you like to come with me to this new bread place?” He asks, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “Sorry—I ran all the way from the cabinet office to here.”
“It’s alright,” Y/N giggles, which makes Wonyoung’s eyes pop out of their sockets because she swears she never heard that sound coming from her sister’s mouth before. “I’d love to Jungwon.”
“Great! I’ll uh.. I’ll see you later!”
Wonyoung turns to face Y/N as soon as Jungwon leaves, giving her the biggest grin ever. “What was that?!”
“Let’s just say, I don’t hate Yang Jungwon anymore.” Y/N smiles, laughing as she watches Wonyoung’s jaw practically drop to the ground.
‏‏‎
“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jungwon says as he and Y/N walk to the new bread place.
“Yes,” Y/N puffs out, “I should’ve brought a jacket.”
Before she knew it, Jungwon already takes off his jacket and wraps it around the girl’s shoulder.
“Jungwon,” she whines, “then you’ll be cold!”
“It’s alright really!” He laughs, giving her a big smile. “I’m practically invincible to cold. Was just asking because you seemed to be freezing.”
“You’re sweet,” she says, looking down at her feet. “I feel really guilty for trying to one up up all the time or prove you wrong. I just hate it, you know?”
“Hate what?”
“You might not realize it but a lot of people don’t want to hear what I say because I’m a woman, and that’s it. Just because I’m a woman. Like sometimes, I have ideas just as brilliant and changing as yours, but everybody says I’m complaining and over analyzing. When you say it, with your handsome face and clear voice, everybody’s suddenly entranced, and they’re so interested in school politics.”
“So you think I’m handsome?”
Y/N rolls her eyes, pushing back Jungwon slightly as he laughs.
“I’m kidding, Y/N. I know what you mean now. I’m sorry that I can’t change how people view and perceive things, but I want you to know that I listen to your ideas, that I care. You might not realize this either but whenever you’re talking, I always listen. Like your initiative about bringing better programs into the school, I listened through the whole thing because I just—I’m inlove with the way you articulate things and the way you speak. If I was half as good at speaking my mind like you were, I’d be unstoppable. You’re a great person, Y/N, and I’m so glad I’m able to see that.”
The way Yang Jungwon speaks about her makes Y/N want to cry and smother him in a hug, which she does a second later by bringing him into a bone crushing hug.
“Thank you Jungwon.” She says, face in his neck. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He feels like he’s out of breath by how close the two of them were, his heartbeat racing by each second that passed. “I’d do anything for you, Y/N.”
‏‏‎
“Hey!” Y/N is practically used to seeing Yang Jungwon come up to her everyday now, the two even spending lunch together every two days.
“What’s up Yang?” She says, noticing a packet of papers in his hand.
“You know your feedback on my initiative? Your personalized mentorship program idea! The headmaster really liked it and he’s implementing it starting next semester with your name as the credit on it!”
Y/N’s eyes widen in joy, shrieking as her hands unconsciously come in contact with Jungwon’s, the two holding both of each other’s hands tightly as they jumped in happiness.
“You’re amazing Yang Jungwon!” She says giddily, “you really are.”
The two of them stop to stare at one another for a brief second before Jungwon finds himself leaning in, closing the gap between their lips.
When they pull away, the smiles on their faces never fades, Jungwon’s dimple ever so prominent.
“I love you,” Y/N breathes out. “My wonderful class president.”
And although Y/N is a feminist, obviously, she wouldn’t mind a man like Yang Jungwon saving her, for he taught her what love was like, and that she should never ever settle for less.
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pomefioredove · 9 months ago
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You know what would be sad? If you/Yuu breaks up with Vil (or vice versa) and then runs to Rook afterwards. I wonder if Vil is going to feel betrayed again? If you could do a little scenario for this, that’d be great!
this is such a good prompt, I love rebound scenarios omg. needed this today. and here comes rook with the steel chair!!!
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summary: getting dumped by vil schoenheit type of post: long fic characters: rook additional info: romantic, established relationship, vil breaks up with reader, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, kinda angsty, hahhhh, my god
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"It's not personal. I just don't think it's fair to you," Vil says.
He doesn't fidget. Maintains perfect eye contact. He doesn't even try to act sorry, which, perhaps, is what stings the most.
He's supposed to be an actor, after all.
That's what this is all about.
"You must have always known this was a possibility," he says. "My schedule is getting busier, I simply don't... want to push you away."
Each word is spoken with a honeyed softness, as if he's trying to cushion the blows. It doesn't help.
Your heart thuds in your chest, your eyes burn. This is the worst thing you've ever experienced. You would take a thousand overblots over this. Any day.
What a bitter sentiment.
"You don't mean to push me away. What is this, then?"
A look of guilt finally crosses Vil's face, cracking the mask of professionalism he'd been hiding behind. It offers little comfort.
His brow furrows, and he sighs. "A preventative measure. It would hurt more if I'd waited,"
A million questions fly through your mind, faster than you can catch them. You want to shout, to tell him exactly how he's making you feel, to ask him who he thinks he is- but all you can manage is a stare.
He frowns, extending a hand as if to caress your face, but you turn on your heels and leave before he has the chance.
You wouldn't sit there and let him make a fool of you any longer.
You had become comfortable with the Pomefiore dorm in the past few months, but today, its elegance feels suffocating. The white and gold decor seems to mock you, every vase of perfect flowers laughing at your imperfection as you pass them by.
It hurts.
Stings, burns, makes you feel like you're drowning in a sea of perfume, choking on lilac and rose. Has the air here always been so sickeningly sweet?
There's still a lingering part of you that wants to run back to him, to beg, to negotiate, but you know he's right. You hate that he's right.
This... whatever it was... wouldn't last.
And you'd always known it.
---
How does one recover from being dumped by Vil Schoenheit?
Short answer: you can't.
You can wallow all you want, drowning yourself in the unhealthy foods he forbade you from eating, skipping the classes he'd so encouraged you to excel in, and using cheap tissues on your formerly-perfect skin, but that doesn't change a thing.
Perhaps if it hadn't been so public, you might have pulled yourself together sooner. But the very second all of your pictures were gone from his profile, everyone knew.
On some nights, you'd torture yourself by reading the thirsty comments from desperate fans under his latest posts, all of them pointing out his recent singleness. You would wonder to yourself if you had sounded that pathetic when you were dating Vil.
Just another hopeless, desperate fan, hoping for a piece of him.
People on campus avoided you. Not out of fear, but pity, a lack of knowing what to say. How do you even comfort someone after this?
It was like having an open wound on full display. No matter how you tried to bandage it, it kept bleeding through.
Even Grim was keeping his distance.
What little comfort came in the form of an anonymous knight in shining armor. Roses left at your doorstep, letters of love and encouragement on your assigned seats, little baskets full of your favorite foods and trinkets on your kitchen table...
You would have questioned it if you were not so consumed by your grief. At least the mystery offered a distraction.
"Another one," Ace comments, pulling a letter off your chair before you can sit on it. "Whoever this guy is, he's slick."
He hands you the letter, which you gracefully accept.
Deuce watches cautiously. "And you're sure it's not just... some kinda of prank, right? I've known my fair share of nasty types, this could be a trick."
"Too much effort," you shake your head. "I mean, whoever this is is spending a lot of time and money cheering me up. Not to mention... I've tried looking up some of these poems, and no matches. They're originals."
You wave around the letter in hand, a faint smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Though, I'm sure whoever's doing it is just being nice,"
"Nice. Right," Ace rolls his eyes. "Cause I know like, a million teenage boys who are just dying to write poetry for their friends."
Even Deuce snickers at that. You roll your eyes.
"Point taken. I guess I just can't believe that anyone would want me after..." you pause. There's no pleasant way to put it, so you let Ace and Deuce fill in the blanks.
"Hey, Vil is a jerk. He doesn't deserve you," Deuce says. "And trust me, if I ever catch him disrespecting you again-"
Ace scoffs. "Woah, there, tiger. Calm down. Vil could kick your ass and we all know it,"
"He really was something, wasn't he?" you sigh, slumping in your seat. Ace and Deuce give each other a panicked look.
"We didn't mean-"
"No, I get it," you say, reaching down to the floor in an attempt to touch your toes. Vil had told you that little exercises help calm the nerves. You hate how you still need his advice.
"Oh, hey, look," you sit back up, another pink envelope in hand. "Another one."
---
There's something about these gifts that doesn't sit right with you.
Each one is arranged to perfection, obviously crafted by a very thoughtful individual, just personal enough to suit your tastes but distant all the same.
It's almost as if the sender is holding something back.
But, not today.
You're greeted by a trail of rose petals leading up to Ramshackle's front door, which itself is ajar. Not uncommon, considering Grim's inability to take care of the makeshift dorm, but with the scent of roses and the candlelight inside, you know it's something more.
You walk in, setting your things aside, and continue following the path of petals into the kitchen, where a rickety wooden table has been set for two.
You, however, are the only one in the room.
"Hello?" you ask, turning in circles. The space is empty, save for a small letter on one of the chairs.
Beautiful,
A little bird told me you doubt the intentions of my admiration. I must amend that immediately, and I see no better way than to say it myself.
Yours truly.
"Trickster," a familiar voice comes from the doorway behind you, and you whirl around to face your admirer.
"Rook!" you gasp, clutching the letter to your chest.
He beams in response. "Oui, c'est moi. Though I was so enjoying the mystery, I feel it's time I made my intentions clear. Sit, please,"
You don't hesitate to follow his suggestion (the surprise left your knees feeling weak, anyway), and he joins you in the adjacent seat.
"But what-"
"Please," he says, holding a finger to your lips to shush you. "Let me start. I first want to say that I have meant every single word, in song and ink, that I have given to you. My heart is true."
Your mind is overflowing with questions, none of which he seems keen on answering in full just yet.
"I have spent the past several months allowing our Beautiful Vil to woo you. I have so enjoyed watching your love blossom from afar, despite my own feelings towards you. But things have changed," Rook says.
"For as much as I love him, this was his own doing. He has made a fatal mistake, one which cannot be undone- he has wounded you, mon amour, in a most vulnerable fashion. Months ago, when we both realized our feelings for you, I willingly stepped aside," he says. "I thought Vil would be the best option for you. I thought I was not ready to commit myself. Now I see what a mistake that was, and I hope you might find it within yourself to forgive me..."
You can only stare back. "Rook..."
"I cannot resent our Roi du Poison for his choice, for it's his to make. But he hurt you dearly, and in the process, he has relinquished his claim on you. I know your wound is still fresh. But, please, Mon Trickster, mon véritable amour, be mine?"
You're silent for a moment, processing every detail of what he said, what he's offering...
He's right. The wound Vil created is still open, and despite the weeks of "recovery", had yet to improve.
If you kept waiting for it to heal, perhaps it never would.
You nod. "Okay. Okay! But-! Let's take it slow, okay?"
Rook just barely manages to stop himself from leaping across the table to take your hands into his, and he reaffirms your request with a nod.
"Of course, mon cƓur. What is a hunter if not patient?"
---
Pomefiore is beautiful again.
There are still times where you swear you can see Vil staring at the two of you, a look of discontent on his face, from across the room.
He doesn't utter a word about the way Rook has his arm over your shoulder, or the many terms of endearment he uses on you, though he doesn't have to. The lingering guilt and regret has made a home for itself in Vil Schoenheit.
You're sure Rook has noticed by now, too, although this isn't the first time he's pulled something like this on the housewarden without a second thought, and it likely won't be the last.
Perhaps it's for the better.
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endless-ineffabilities · 2 months ago
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technicolour
modern Aemond Targaryen x f!reader
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a/n: this is me veering off yet again from my release schedule smh. this doesn't have the taglist cause it was just that spontaneous. warning — sad! so if this makes you cry, don't hold me accountable. happy (hehe) reading! <3
masterlist
A brief chronicle of lack, loss, and enduring love.
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Aemond Targaryen had always known grey.
Grey skies. Grey halls. Grey hearts.
It had been his constant, the ever-present haze that cloaked his life. He learned to live in its monotony, to thrive in its bleakness. The son of a mother whose love felt conditional and a father whose gaze slipped over him as though he were nothing at all. He'd spent his childhood yearning, aching for something he couldn’t name, for someone who might see him—not as a pawn or a promise, but simply as himself.
By the time he met you, he had stopped searching. Life had become mechanical, a series of tasks to accomplish and milestones to conquer. It was easy to be cold when the world around him was cold, easy to remain untouchable when nothing touched him. And then you walked into his life.
It wasn't love at first sight. It wasn't some dramatic, thunderclap moment. It was a quiet shift, almost imperceptible, like the first threads of dawn light creeping into the sky. He didn't know it then, couldn't have known it, but that was the beginning of everything.
"How did you know?" people would ask, curious about the great love of his life.
He would smile, faintly wistful, and reply with three simple words.
"I just knew."
The sheer magnitude of the truth reduced to just that. For how could he put into words the way his life had slowly begun to bleed bright with colour when you entered it? How could he explain the transformation of a man who had resigned himself to the shadows, now basking in the warmth of sunlight?
He remembered the first time he truly saw you—not with his eyes, but with his heart. It wasn't at a gala or a grand meeting. No, it was something so ordinary it almost felt divine. You had been reading, your legs tucked beneath you on a weathered bench, your brow furrowed in concentration. The world bustled around you, but you were still, serene amidst the chaos. And when you looked up at him, your eyes alight with curiosity and mirth, it was as if something within him had clicked into place.
There was nothing remarkable about that day. The air smelled faintly of rain; a vendor nearby shouted about roasted chestnuts. But something in the way you tucked your hair behind your ear, the way your lips quirked up when you caught him staring—it was as though the universe had paused, holding its breath just for you.
You spoke to him like he was a person, not a title or a symbol. You saw him—not the polished mask he wore, but the man beneath it. It was downright terrifying. It was exhilarating. It was strange and new.
He had gone home that night, pacing the length of his too-large apartment, replaying your conversation in his head. How you'd laughed at something he said—an offhand remark he didn't think would land. How your laugh had been this pure, unguarded thing, echoing in his chest like the first notes of a symphony.
He stayed awake watching the shadows shift on his ceiling, wondering if it was possible to miss someone he barely knew.
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"Why do you love me?" you asked him once, your head resting on his chest as the two of you lay entwined.
He had laughed, a sound so rare it startled even him. "Why would I not?" he replied, but you pressed on, your fingers tracing patterns against his skin.
He hadn't known how to answer then, but he wished he had. He should have explained that all the grey turned into beautiful technicolour when you saw him for who he truly was. He should have thanked you for giving meaning to a life that had been a series of empty victories. He should have confessed that with you, everything—everything—felt sharper, brighter, alive.
Instead, he told you about the small things. How you sang off-key in the shower, unapologetically loud. How you left sticky notes with roughly drawn hearts on his desk when you knew he'd had a rough day. How you made him try new foods and giggled aloud when he turned beet red at something spicy.
You had kissed him then, murmuring something about him being a sentimental sap. But he saw the way your eyes shone, felt the way your fingers lingered against his cheek, and he knew you understood.
Slowly, then all at once, you became his everything.
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And then you were gone.
Illness stole you from him like a thief in the night. It was cruel and unforgiving, and he could do nothing but watch as the light in your eyes dimmed, as your body grew frail and fragile in his arms. He raged against it, against the sheer injustice of it all, but it made no difference.
He remembered the day you told him. You had sat him down in the kitchen, your hands trembling as they cradled a steaming cup of tea. He could still see the way the sunlight had hit your face, catching the tear that slid down your cheek as you spoke.
"I'm so sorry. You should know that I never want to leave you, my love," you had whispered. And he shattered.
You had fought. God, how you had fought. Through the surgeries and the chemo, the endless cycle of hope and inevitable heartbreak. But even as your body betrayed you, you never lost the spark that made you you. Even when you were too weak to speak, you'd scribble little notes for him, teasing him about the books he left piled on the coffee table or reminding him to eat.
The day you slipped away, he thought the world would return to grey. That he would be swallowed by the emptiness again, consumed by the void of your absence. But he was wrong.
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You had given him more than love.
You had given him life. And even in your absence, he could still feel you—everywhere. In the laughter of your children, Lucerys and Rhaenys, who carried your smile and your spirit. In the memories that lingered like phantoms, haunting and comforting all at once. In the way his world still held traces of you, as if it, too, refused to let you go.
He still told them your stories, weaving them into bedtime tales and rainy afternoons. How you had met. How you had danced barefoot in the kitchen. How you had loved them fiercely, even before they were born.
"Your mum would have loved your cooking," Aemond would say to Lucerys, even as he struggled to scrape the little boy's attempt at making eggs from the pan.
Or to Rhaenys, when she wrapped her small hand around his finger and asked why he looked so sad, he'd say, "Your mother laughed like you do. Just like that. Loud and big, like it couldn't be contained."
Aemond lived with your love, and he would continue to live with it. Because your love was not something that could be taken away, not by time, not by death. It was woven into the fabric of who he was, an indelible mark that nothing could erase.
But some days hurt more than others.
There were mornings when he woke up and reached for you before remembering you weren't there. Nights when he found himself staring at your side of the bed, the void in his chest sharp and unrelenting.
He missed you with an ache that would never fade, but he carried you with him, in every step, in every breath.
And when people asked him how he knew, how he had been so certain, he would smile that soft, wistful smile.
"I just knew," he would say.
Because even now, even in the bittersweet truth of your absence, he still did.
And he always will.
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It was a Tuesday when Aemond found the first note.
He had been running late, fumbling through the chaos of the morning—Lucerys lost his shoes again, and Rhaenys refused to wear her coat. By the time the house was quiet and the children were at school, Aemond collapsed at his desk, dragging a hand through his silver hair. That's when he saw it: a small, yellow sticky note stuck to the corner of his laptop.
In a child's uneven scrawl, it read: "Don't forget to eat lunch, Dad!"
His breath caught.
The handwriting was different, messier, the letters tilting at odd angles, but the sentiment was the same. It was you, somehow, in Rhaenys' small, deliberate act of love.
He hadn't realized he was crying until a tear blurred the ink, smudging the little crooked heart she had drawn at the end.
Colour hadn't left his life—it only shifted, nestled into its beloved corners.
And for a man who had only known grey, it was more than enough.
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undiscovered-horizon · 6 months ago
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"Hypothetically speaking" - Juice Ortiz x Reader
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SUMMARY: It's basic etiquette to not try your luck with a friend's girl. But when that friends seems to have no respect for the girl, perhaps it's basic etiquette to give her the affection she deserves.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 3k
Truthfully, everyone knew it wasn't going to work out - everyone except for you. Whether you are too pure or delusional, the thought never even occured to you, while the other members of the motorcycle club knew the bitter end the moment they saw you. At first, none of them thought much of it. That's just how Jax Teller rolled, there is nothing new in that matter. It was the subsequent weeks that made them dread the inevitable:
Jax brought you around the clubhouse to help out with the accounting, housekeeping or party-throwing. Usually, you were holding a pan, a broom or a pen in your hand. Or certain other things whenever Jax needed tending to his more carnal desires.
Nonetheless, the other Sons have gotten to know you personally and it was that new friendship that bore dread in their chests. You seemed to have a curious talent for making people feel seen. Even the smallest of details never escaped your attention. Refilling the bar for the night, you'd always find time to ask Happy about his mother's health and how he was holding up. Chibs and Tig have come to expect you to ask them about their children. Their answers rarely changed and so did yours: 'I'm sure they're thinking about you.' The biggest surprise came from the prospects as they had grown accustomed to everyone pushing them around and yelling at them. So when you'd ask them whether they were hungry, at first they were sure it was some kind of a test or a ruse.
For Juice, those little signs of a soft heart were nails in his coffin. Whenever he was spending several hours in front of the computer, you'd appear with a drink and a small snack. On top of that, you always made it seem like these small acts of service are something obvious - it would be entirely strange to not care for others simply because you can. Usually, your presence would slow down his progress as Juice was willing to exchange his worktime for a conversation with you. As desperate as it may sound, he came to the conclusion that his job will still be there in twenty minutes but you will be gone the moment Jax enters the clubhouse and takes you away. Sometimes he wondered if he had Teller's charisma, would you give him a chance? Considering you were seeing his friend, he never planned on acting on his feelings. Even the thought made him cringe: fantasizing about fellow member's girl? That's a rather large 'no-go'.
As usual, the dread settled in the men's chests when you entered the clubhouse. Then, it grew ten sizes as they all silently realised that the inevitable was about to play out in front of their hungover eyes. You passed the threshold in a somewhat hesitant manner like you always did, unsure whether you're interrupting something or are even wanted there. Bobby, Tig and Chibs greet you but they're unable to hide a strange sadness to them. None the wiser, you chalk up their lack of humour to the aftermath of a night filled with vices.
The clubhouse is a temporary ruin. Bottles and glasses are scattered across all flat surfaces. One of the tables is slanted, missing one of its legs. A few pairs of bright-coloured underwear are lying here and there. Something tells you that yesterday you missed a truly historic night of fun.
"Is Jax around?" you ask. The men exchange a meaningful gaze but it goes unnoticed by you. "He left his shirt at mine yesterday afternoon, I was hoping to return it."
Tig's face cringes. There's a sorry look in his eyes. "Sweetheart-"
"He just left, actually," Bobby interjects. "Don't know when he'll be back."
You look between them, beginning to sense tension. "Alright," you answer, unsure what to make of the situation. "Then I'll just leave it in the dorm room."
Their silence makes you wary like there's a piece of information that you're missing while it's fairly obvious to others; something hidden in plain sight. You walk past them, when Tig's conscience puts up a fight once more. He makes a step towards you, hoping to stop the disaster about to unfold. Chibs, however, grabs his arm before the man can realise his plan.
"He's made his bed, brother," the Scotsman says in a low voice lest you hear their conversation.
"Come on, man," Trager answers with a look of disbelief on his face. "She doesn't deserve that."
"Aye, she doesn't." The man nods. His stern expression reveals that he, too, is more than unhappy with the unfolding events. "But it's already happened."
Juice is either really lucky or terribly unlucky to be walking down the corridor at the same time as you. His lips widen in a smile and he's about to call out to you, when he notices the white t-shirt in your hand. In a split second of considering his selfishness and your feelings, Juice decided to act against his own interest. He picks up his pace and manages to block the dorm room door just as you were about to put your hand on the handle.
"You really don't want to go in there. Trust me." Juice is trying his best to sound like he's joking but he's not a good liar - especially when you're the one he's attempting to deceive. True feelings are slipping through the cracks and you notice his nervousness.
"What do you mean?" you ask. The weirdness of the guys' behaviour that day is putting you on edge. What on Earth is going on? "It's not like there's a biological warfare behind that door."
Two laughing voices are audible from inside the room: one belongs to Jax, the other probably to a woman. Something stirs inside you, anxious and dreadful but you push it further down. No need to get upset before you get all the facts, right?
"See? Everything's fine," you say to Juice, although the reassurance is really for yourself.
The door swings open with a slight moan of the hinges. Then, as you take in the scene before you, it feels like time has slowed to a halt. Jax is sitting on the edge of the bed, scandily clad in the thin bedsheets. Maybe he covered himself when he heard the door open or he wasn't planning on getting up just yet. In the bathroom doorway stands Ima, dressed in a rather tacky purple lingerie - the cheap kind that desperately tries to have some semblance of luxury. Had the situation been less agitating, maybe you'd think that it's a fitting piece of garment for a woman of her sort.
It's hard to say whether it's the shock or resilience but you manage to keep yourself whole. The last thing you're going to do is cause a scene.
"Brought your shirt." You disturb the akward silence. Jax's expression is unreadable but Ima appears rather amused - there's a sly grin on her face. Her quiet snickering makes tears pool in your eyes. "Thought you might want it back."
Wanting to evacuate as fast as you can, you lay the t-shirt on the dresser by the door and turn around to leave the room. Juice hesitantly whispers your name as you brush past him but you can only muster a quiet apology.
Jax, suddenly realising the consequences of yesterday's impulsiveness, hastily puts on a pair of pants. He keeps yelling your name, begging you to stop and let him talk to you properly but you don't give in. Running out of the dorm room, he's stopped by Juice, who grabs his arm.
"I think you've done enough, man," Ortiz states in an angered tone.
For a moment, the two of them stare each other down in silence. The tension feels like a forest fire - one moment of carelessness might lead to a true disaster.
Both men are aware of the other's affections. It is only now that they admit this knowledge.
"You need to back off," Jax whispers. Juice is disillusioned that the Vice President would have no inhibitions in caving his face in.
But lovers oh-so-frequently tend to grow just a little unwise the more they love. Perhaps that has made all the difference on that dreadful morning.
"No," Juice says while shaking his head, "I think I should go after the crying girl who just saw her boyfriend naked in a bed with someone else."
"That's not your concern."
Looking over the blond's shoulder, Juice catches Ima's malicious amusement. She knew exactly what she was doing and not for a moment did she feel bad about it. When he looks at Jax again, his dark eyes carry more contempt than anger. "Apparently, she's not your concern either."
Before the young Teller can continue their argument, Ortiz is running down the hallway. Bobby, Chibs and Tig ask him something but he only gives them a disinterested 'later' and continues his search for you.
Despite the perfect view of the parking lot from the rooftop, you didn't notice Juice approaching you. Only when you heard the rattling of the ladder did a wave of shame flood your mind. You didn't want anyone seeing you like this, especially people of formidable grit. Some part of you dreaded being considered weak. If you were just a little more honest with yourself, maybe you'd realise that what you were truly afraid of, was the outside confirmation of what you'd already believed about yourself - too weak, too emotional to ever fit in this life.
The shame, however, seems to evaporate the moment you see Juice's apologetic expression. He always had a strange air about him, an aura you couldn't quite explain. Something about the man makes you think that you could tell him the most asinine or embarrassing thing and he would never think less of you.
With a hesitant, quiet 'hey', Juice sits down next to you. Despite his own desires, he leaves a gap between the two of you. His eyes keep switching between looking at his fiddling hands or the side of your face as though he's unsure what's the correct course of action.
"I'm stupid, aren't I?" you finally speak up. Turning your head to look at Juice, you notice a sudden change in his expression - for some reason, he looks like he's about to burst into tears, too. "Believing that he would settle for me?"
There's so much he wants to say. An entire monologue is prickling at his tongue. You'd be the one settling for him, not the other way around. Never. But Juice manages to keep those thoughts to himself for now as they are not what you need to hear at this moment. Maybe, just maybe, one day he'll get to show you that whoever you decide to marry, no matter how noble or rich, you will be the one settling for them.
"There's only one stupid person in this situation and it's not you," he says in a serious yet gentle tone. "Okay, maybe three stupid people."
Despite his resolve, Juice is only a man and he, too, must break at some point. His hand fearfully reaches for your cheek. When you don't pull away, he hesitantly wipes away a tear rolling down your face.
"Three?" you ask in a quiet voice.
"Jax is one, for obvious reasons." With the back of his hand, Juice wipes away the other side of your face. "Ima is two. And the third... is me."
Confused, you furrow your eyebrows. "You? You're not stupid, Juice. Why would you say that?"
"I'm the king of stupid, actually." He lets out an airy, bitter chuckle. Suddenly feeling small, he retracts his arm. "I just tried to cover for my dick friend, so the girl I'm in love with doesn't get her heart broken. Extra stupid points for running after her like a lost puppy that just wants to make her happy."
"That sounds more lovely than stupid," you manage to whisper before another wave of emotions wreaks havoc. Tears stream down your face again but this time it's not only the bad feelings - there's something nice among them, too. A sense of relief and belonging; an overwhelming realisation that you're loved as a person and not only as a woman.
He doesn't complain or lecture you. Neither does he attempt empty words of comfort and encouragement. Juice doesn't know what he should say, so he settles for silence. However, his quietness speaks volumes. With a soft expression on his face, he keeps wiping your tears away.
"What do I do now, Juice?"
"Whatever you want," he answers with a strange lightness to his voice. It appears that his response is not something carefully woven but rather a cliché.
You sniffle loudly and although there's nothing attractive about that, it's candid. In Juice's eyes, it only makes you more beautiful. "Right now, I don't know if that list is very short or ridiculously long."
A corner of his mouth rises in a nostalgic smile. He seems to be recalling a memory.
"Remember that one time when you couldn't sleep and found me working at the clubhouse?" Juice asks. You only nod, unsure why he would suddenly remind you of that. "Remember what you told me when I talked about all the things I still needed to get done?"
"It's only three things," you repeat under your breath. Truthfully, you have almost forgotten entirely about that conversation. Juice had been going on about all the complicated steps that had to be done before calling it a day but, in the end, it was only three things. Granted, three time-consuming, challenging things but only three nonetheless. You never thought your comment meant so much to him.
"Exactly," he says as though he had just given you the perfect recipe for anything and everything. "I'm suggesting, you do two things now. First of all, get over the guy that couldn't appreciate you."
"Sounds smart but I'm not sure I know how to do that," you admit with a nervous chuckle. Jax Teller has been a tornado to your soul: came suddenly, wreaked havoc and simply moved on. There is no one to clean the mess, no one to put the pieces back together except those that survived. And you're still at the stage of debating whether you have, actually, survived Jax Teller.
"I guess the first step is not going back to him."
As simple as it sounds, the solution might just be one of the hardest things you've ever done. Nothing good comes easy, as they say. If it's true, you're going to reach for something truly incredible with this resolution.
"And the second thing I should do?" you ask. Deep inside, you're paying he's about to suggest something silly or relaxing.
Suddenly, Juice turns shy. This biker guy with tattoos and a loaded gun is fiddling with his hands and stubbornly avoiding your gaze. Despite his appearance, you think he's adorable.
"Well, uh..." He clears his throat in a vain attempt to get rid of his shakey tone. "If you want, no pressure of course but if you find it in yourself, then maybe you could at least think about grabbing dinner with me?" Whatever your expression looks like, it must make him even more nervous as Juice immediately begins downplaying his question. "Like I said, no pressure. I know it's bad timing all things considered, so it's cool if you don't want to, it's okay-"
"I'd love to," you interrupt him.
For a moment, he silently stares at you like a deer caught in headlights. "Cool. That's, um... nice."
You see him ever so slightly cringe at his awkward response but you don't think him weird. No, the nervousness makes you all the more convinced you want to go out with him - the anxiety proves that he cares more than he's brave enough to admit.
"Can we add a third thing?" you ask hesitantly.
Juice smiles at you as if today is the best day of his life; the kind of smile that slowly mends broken hearts. "What's on your mind?"
"Say, just hypothetically, how annoying would it be if Ima's car had slashed tires?"
He nods slowly, a shadow of mischief dancing across his handsome features. "Really annoying."
"And if she had to pay for new ones and there'd be a bullshit charge on the receipt like premium air or something?"
The man laughs. How can a sound leave you breathless?
"She would have a really fucking shitty day," he answers.
"Just hypothetically, I'd be satisfied."
"I think I know a guy. Just hypothetically."
Silence falls between you again. It's not tense. No, it's quite the opposite - the silence of two people who can just be. Now that happiness or at least a lack of sadness has entered your face, Juice is staring at you with an expression you can't describe beyond soft. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was not looking at you but at a rare, priceless treasure he has spent his whole life searching for. But you do know better; you know that, perhaps, people can be priceless, too.
A dark thought suddenly clouds your mind: Jax used to look at you the same way. Not always, not for long but he did. And yet, as he has proven, it meant nothing for him.
You push those thoughts away with all the almost-depleted strength you have left. It's no use crying and ruminating about the past when you have your future sitting right next to you. A bright, terribly good-looking future, one might even say.
"Can you just hold me?" you ask him quietly. The heartbreak of Jax's choice and the elation of Juice's confession have left you tired and vulnerable beyond all imagination. Such opposite emotions are ripping you open in conflicting directions. It's like dying and being reborn all at the same time.
"As long as you need, baby."
Juice wastes no time happily fulfilling your request. He brings your legs over and across his own, nudging you even closer towards him. Gently, he pulls your head to rest in the crook of his neck. As strange as it may sound, the man feels like a fortress protecting you from past and future heartbreaks.
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thedensworld · 1 year ago
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Sweet Macaroons | C.Sc
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Pairing: Gangster!Seungcheol x Baker!Reader
Genre: fluff, established relationship
Words Count: ±600
Summary: Seungcheol was far from pleased when a food critic posted a negative review that started to impact your sales. He couldn't stand to see you upset.
In the midst of a picturesque five months, Seungcheol, with an air of exclusivity, tenderly asked you to be his girlfriend. Everything seemed to move in slow motion around you, as if the universe itself was savoring the moment. His crew, astounded, couldn't fathom that a humble bakery owner just down the block from their bar had captured their boss's heart. He had transformed into something they never imagined: a unabashedly cheesy boy. Even Jeonghan, Seungcheol's right-hand man, remained baffled by the depth of his friend's infatuation with you. He couldn't quite grasp what had caused Seungcheol to fall so hard until he witnessed how Seungcheol would gladly stop the world at your command.
As an example of Seungcheol's devotion, he had gone as far as hiring a bodyguard to watch over you and ensure your safety. Seungcheol, ever mysterious about his business, would simply say, "I do business in Seoul and Busan," which, in its own way, was true. He owned nearly a hundred bars and nightclubs, not to mention his own association—a realm of details you didn't need to delve into.
Your bodyguard, Jun, who currently disguised as a barista in your bakery, would dutifully relay every detail to Seungcheol. This included mundane activities like your trips to the grocery store, visits from friends at the bakery, or even encounters with rude customers. Despite being in the know about your daily affairs through Jun, Seungcheol cherished hearing you recount your day, especially when it involved a customer that cussed on you. He'd teasingly inquire, "Should I track him down and make him pay?" A promise he would have swiftly fulfilled if you had not said, "No, you don't have to. I'll give him a piece mind when I'm a billionaire."
At times, Seungcheol really wants to say, "Marry me, and you can cuss him back in an instant." He was acutely aware of the influence he held.
However, he received an extremely irritating message from Jun, stating that a popular food critic had left a scathing review on their social media, claiming to have found a fly and cockroach legs in your sweets. This review had a detrimental impact on your sales and the overall image of the bakery, as people began leaving unpleasant comments on your social media platforms.
"Jeonghan, do you know this person?" Seungcheol inquired, displaying a video of the food critic.
Jeonghan confirmed, "Yeah, they're a very influential food critic."
Seungcheol nodded thoughtfully and hummed, "Do you know how to contact them?" he pressed further.
"I think we just need to get in touch with their management. They'll provide you with the pricing for their content," Jeonghan explained, prompting another question from Seungcheol.
"Then we can have them review our food however we want?" Jeonghan nodded, "Why? Are you thinking about having them promote our new foodbar?" he inquired.
Seungcheol shook his head, simultaneously signaling to Jeonghan that he wanted to be dropped off at your bakery.
Jun had informed Seungcheol that you had closed the bakery early today due to the lack of customers following the internet sensation. When Seungcheol arrived, only Jun was present in the bakery. He mentioned that you had gone to the convenience store for a few minutes. As Seungcheol patiently waited at one of the tables, you returned with a plastic bag in hand. Lost in your thoughts, you didn't immediately notice him. Instead, you went straight to Jun, telling him he could go home. Jun subtly gestured towards Seungcheol, indicating that he was waiting for you.
"Hi..." Your voice, though soft as always, carries a subtle shade of sadness. Seungcheol swears he can hear it, a touch of blue in your tone.
He smiles, approaching you and subtly signaling for Jun to leave the shop.
"Are you okay? I saw it online," Seungcheol asks gently once Jun has vanished from view.
You smile back at him, but tears well up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. You turn away, hiding your face from him as you wipe away the tears. Seungcheol's heart aches at the sight, a feeling he's never experienced before, like someone's squeezing his heart, causing a deep ache.
"Hey, it's okay," he murmurs softly, turning you to face him and pulling you into an embrace. He can feel the tightness in his chest intensify when he hears you sob.
This is the first time he's seen you cry in the five months you've been dating. He swears he'd never want to be the cause of your tears, let alone someone else.
"It's okay, baby. Bad things happen sometimes. It's not your fault," he reassures you as you try to explain how diligently you maintain your bakery's hygiene and ensure the freshness of ingredients. There's no way the accusations the food critic made could be true.
Seungcheol noticed the contents of the plastic bag you had been holding earlier: cleaning soap and equipment. His heart breaks once again, this time tinged with anger.
"Let's go home and rest, okay? I'll hire someone to clean the shop. I don't want to see you laboring with a heavy heart like this," he insists.
Seungcheol calls Jeonghan and swiftly arranges for his people to clean your shop. He drives you home, ensuring you have a proper dinner before settling down for some much-needed rest. Once you're peacefully asleep, he quietly slips away, reaching out to Jun and Jeonghan.
"Get them for me before midnight. Alive," he instructs.
Seungcheol doesn't concern himself with the specifics of how they carried out his request. But when his people successfully bring them to his office, he finally confronts the face that caused his girl to cry.
"What's your name?" Seungcheol asks, rising from his seat and approaching them.
"Who put you up to this?" Seungcheol presents their damning post about your bakery to their face. Poor soul, Seungcheol thinks. This food critic probably never imagined they'd be dragged in by a gangster and subjected to an interrogation like this.
Once Seungcheol acquires the name, he signals his people to reveal the extent of their capabilities. Images of their family and significant other are displayed, and they immediately plead for an apology, expressing regret for their actions.
"You should've thought about that before you posted that garbage," Seungcheol states, fixing them with a steely gaze.
"Upload a clarification video about your previous review. Go to that bakery tomorrow and apologize to the owner. Post both of those things before lunch if you want to spare them," Seungcheol directs, referring to the individuals in the photos as he delivers his unwavering ultimatum.
*
"It was a very wrong act of me to accept the offer to give a bad review to another bakery. I deeply apologize to the owner and my followers for doing such a wrong thing."
Seungcheol smiled at you as you showed him the video from the same account that had claimed they found a cockroach leg on your macaroon.
"See! I knew that my bakery and kitchen have passed the hygiene standards," you said, placing your phone down. There was a visible pout on your face, prompting Seungcheol to let out a chuckle.
"You're too cute," Seungcheol teased, pinching your cheek. He was relieved to see no trace of tears like the previous night.
You gently pulled his hand from your cheek as you stood up to restock the macaroon stall, which was nearly empty. Seungcheol couldn't help but smile as he watched you, his girl, his love, engrossed in the work you adored.
"Before you go, want a macaroon and your favorite latte?" you offered. He swore he would nod to anything you said.
"Here! I've packed some for your staff as well," you added, handing him boxes filled with sweets and a bundle of coffees for Seungcheol and Jeonghan.
He wouldn't let anyone steal your smile, even if he had to stop the world.
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yb-cringe · 9 months ago
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i think whats always made me the most emotional about qsmp characters and players alike leaving is that it feels so much more. personal. a bit more gutting when it comes to the way qsmp functions.
the reason this server was made in the first place was to make connections between players that CANT happen anywhere else. or rather, are very difficult to maintain.
it's hard to consistently stay in contact with people who don't speak the same language as you. qsmp made a point to force those people to interact and everything else was just.. trying to soften the harder edges of communicating that don't happen elsewhere.
and its simultaneously beautiful and horribly horribly painful. because the world outside of qsmp isn't very accommodating. and often, as these are content creators with Lives, they don't have time to really maintain every friendship they ever make.
It's why maxo and jaiden and richas and pomme and dapper etc-- its why every death or absence from the server is so gutting. because you know when they leave, that this just /cant/ happen again.
i'm not saying this to be. doomposty. i know that's kinda what it sounds like. i think pepito said it great already; that new memories can be made and we can love the old ones.
i think what im getting at is that clawing back to a time that's passed won't make us happy, it won't take us back there. you gotta just keep moving forward. qsmp is changing a lot. it wont ever be like it was last year. that doesn't mean it can't be good later.
we're going to lose creators and characters and things that remind us VERY heavily of the times where we had friends that we drifted from or lost because of one thing or another.
but you gotta remember there will be more people who you will love too. new people, who won't fill that space but occupy something new because fun fact you don't ever run out of space for that sort of thing.
be sad theyre gone be happy they're doing well remember the memories fondly but keep moving. unfortunately a lot of qsmp has ended up being about letting things go.
its like the. 'its going to be okay. but its going to be different.' and. skdfjds idk i hope thats a hopeful enough note to make things better.
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wandascrush · 5 months ago
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Runaway Bride
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Summary: There’s only one person you really want on your wedding day
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Weddings, love, crying, running away, lots of angst
Song: Someday I’ll get it by Alek Olsen
You were out of breath by the time you got there, crisp cold air hurting your chest. Your throat was as dry as sandpaper. Natasha was there, waiting for you like she always was. Your legs were tired from running, broken nude heels in your hands, beautiful and forgotten. The white flowy, soft fabric of your dress touched your body delicately, dragging and picking up the color from the wet mossy grass. Sore legs lowered down to sit on the grass next to the girl who once captured your heart
but she was silent. Just you two, alone. The air was so cold it hurt your bones. 
   You rested your head against the large oak tree that sat behind you two, making a little cove under its branches. So many thoughts were racing through your mind, “I’ve ruined everything. What will people think? I have to say sorry.” But once you saw your favorite spot waiting for you, with your favorite girl, everything melted away. You shouldn’t even be here right now, you shouldn’t have been thinking about Natasha, but she was the only person that ran through your mind. 
   “Long time no see, Natty.” 
    You’ve gotten used to her silence though, it kind of became her new character trait these days. Sometimes you pretended it didn’t hurt anymore, but it always did. A little more each time. Rain droplets started to fall around you, wetting every inch of dirt and stone. More green from the grass started to slowly seep into the beautiful white fabric of your dress. You knew her deep gaze was on you, looking at you with pity
maybe with love? 
   Your chest tightened as you blinked hard, vision blurring, “I was supposed to get married today, you know,” a sad laugh escaped your throat as you played with the fabric of your dress, “I looked beautiful. My hair was done and my makeup was perfect and-I was supposed to be happy today,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “I was supposed to be standing at that altar, looking into her eyes, promising forever. But I couldn’t even say the words. Because every time I looked at her, I saw you. And I hated myself for it.”
 “I’m so tired of missing you. Some strange part of me thought getting married would make me happier. But all I see is you. When I say my vows, it’s your name they’re written for.”
I think of you all the time, now that you’re gone.
    The rain poured down in relentless sheets, soaking through the dress. The sky above was a swirling mass of dark clouds and angry wind. Digging your manicured fingers into the soft mud, it felt like the only grounding thing. The feeling of mud seeping under your nails was the only anchor you had.
   You checked your phone, trying to wipe the rain off of it and realized that you’d already been there for over an hour with Natasha. You needed to get back, answer all the missed calls and texts. This would be the last time you two saw each other
something inside you was certain about it. Shaky legs stood up, using the big oak tree as support and grabbing the bouquet you forgot about next to you. 
   You slowly kneeled down in front of your first love, first everything, and pressed your forehead against her cold grave stone, “If love could have saved you,” breaths came in short, sharp gasps, salty tears falling into your mouth, “you would have lived forever, my Natasha.” Soft lips kissed the engraving of her name as you gently lied the bouquet down for her, grabbed your broken heels, and said goodbye. It took all your strength to not look back as you walked out of the private cemetery.
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psblooms · 4 months ago
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and I would’ve married you, if you’d have stuck around
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𓍯𓂃 angst lee heeseung x female reader works word count: 1148 non-idol au. the fall of a relationship and the period waiting for the end. contains: break ups, long distance relationship, flashbacks on italics
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as people grow apart and new relationships start, sometimes old ones tend to die alone, with more questions than answers, without villains or heroes; relationships you expected to last long end up being the thing you now long. the moments spent together in rose color glasses become dull and full of hurt, and the wishes you made of never forgetting those moments of happiness come back remembering the promise; only this time, the person you shared them with is not with you anymore to reminiscence them.
growing out of relationships always tends to hurt, but the fact that this was a romantic relationship that had the build-up of your life meant that it was also going to ache for maybe as long as he was part of your life.
the worst part tends to be ending because of a fight and the feeling of regret for ever choosing to be with a person like that. Sadly, this was not the case; each other's personalities were the perfect match, you got along well, and you became friends with each other's friends. you always felt like your relationship was the closest thing to perfection.
until it wasn't.
trying to pinpoint the moment you knew this relationship was nearing its end was impossible for your mind. it was unknown to you if it was your subconscious trying to protect you or the fact that it really came out of the blue. as days went out and you went from crying all night to finally starting to go back to the routine you realized just how much was he a part of your life. the fact that you were living your life as if nothing happened was not the easiest thing when you remembered you could not call him at the end of the day.
saying his name hurt, thinking about him ached, and the fact that the place you still lived at was a graveyard of memories would not help you from thinking that maybe if you called his number, he would answer and come to you.
"what happened?" he asked while catching his breath after opening the door of your apartment.
"I just hurt my finger with the hammer," you said while running your hand through the cold water in the kitchen sink.
dried tears in your warm cheeks were apparent to him so while he ran for your first aid kit his voice echoed throughout the walls. "I told you to wait till I came to help, you were just so excited right?"  
and he told you about his day while bandaging up your finger and helping you finish assembling the new bookshelf  
and now that same bookshelf that holds some of your favorite framed photos with him seated empty in the living room. breakups are usual in people's lives, but maybe you would have more of a reason to be sad and depressed if he had been a shitty boyfriend, or if he had cheated, but instead, he had been the perfect boyfriend for all the two years you had been together.
he broke up with you. on a cold night in your daily facetime call, he was sad, and tired and it hurt you to see him hurting, the easiest way to make him hurt less was to accept his request between sighs.
"i think we should break up"  
the sinking feeling in your stomach was still there, you wanted to fix whatever there was to fix, but nothing would fix something that was not entirely broken, he was, and your relationship was suffering. even if you tried to reach out he was not trying to hold you any longer.
he was your everything. he was the only constant thing in your life for a long long time, he was your friend before he was your boyfriend. and now, as much as you hate to say it, he was gone and he continued his life miles away from you while you felt like everything around you was falling apart.
“It’s just going to be for a year okay? I’ll be back soon” heeseung said holding you closer while laying on his bed with you.
you were helping him pack, putting you feelings aside while he put his life away in suitcases.
“I’m going to miss you a lot” you whispered while holding back tears and hugging him harder.
“I’ll miss you too, but I’ll call you every night to tell you that I love you okay?” He reassured you with a kiss on you head and a warm pat on your back.
oh, how naive you were thinking thinking you’d be the exception to you friend group bad experiences with long distance.
what where you going to do now? where would you put all of his stuff that stayed at his place? where would you store all his gifts and photos? where would you hold all the love you felt for him?
what. comes. next?
your heart was broken, your tears were dry, you felt like everything was over and that felt out of character. he was yours for a while and you needed to move on since you were unable to turn back time, but why was it so hard?
is he hurting to? is he having a hard time falling asleep? did he threw away your gifts? you hoped you were not the only one feeling this way, but still, you were not brave enough to ask, scared of the sheer chance that he was better off.
you wanted to hold on a little longer to these selfish feelings you had, to hold onto the memories, to the kisses and the late night calls. to the hope that maybe this was a nightmare and you would wake up back in his arms, that this relationship was not over and that the issues could be fixed, you were dreaming that maybe you could save yourself from the doom of this heartbreak.
but every morning, as the morning came, doomsday came along reminding you of the fact that you were still miles away from him, with a numbness inside you and unable to move on from a love like his.
your life will go on, and so will his, there will come a time where lee heeseung will be a memory of your past, and maybe you’ll be okay with that; okay with not knowing what made him want to break up with you, okay with him finding someone new. one day that won’t be a big deal.
but for now you still have those questions, and they take away your sleep, you still love him and it will take a long time to unlearn how to do it, and you’ll watch him move on through pictures and post of his friends, and you’ll hope he’s happy. so much happier than how he was with you.
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on-the-clear-blue · 2 months ago
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So I was thinking and like, the Batfam all come from vastly different backgrounds, and like everything in life, food is easily the best way to truly see someone.
Bruce likely grew up eating the same thing every day in the way of "Fridays are Lamb chops, Sunday is Pot roast" because that's how it was just done those days.
His father was a well to-do man, a gigh class doctor and his mother was a socialite, they held their postion highly and knew what was expected of them, even by their staff.
Martha always worked withe chef for meal plans, changing things for holidays or if they would have guests but always had a base she built off of.
It was that base that Bruce clung to after they died, sure the chef left, the other maids and servants going wirh him, leaving just Alfred (he was just a butler, he ran the house, told people what to do not cook)
But Alfred, a man who been through war and acting school did what he did best, He adapted, becoming more than just his title of Butler.
Now think of all that being flipped on its head by little Dickie, freshly orphaned from his loving family. His loving Romani family that traveled across world that likely ate different cuisines every time they stopped in a country. (This is in fact a call back to my baby dick post)
Just...
Dickie, staring wide eyed at just the amount of meat on his plate: It...it's all for me?
Bruce, staring back with confusion: Do you need more? Alfred get Dicke more food, clearly this isn't enough for him.
I love the idea that Dickie pulls a face when he sees mashed potatoes for the third day in a row, he is crying and sad, he missed rice! Fresh veggies! Where was the flavor?? Why was everything so rich?
And Bruce adapts, he is the God damn Batman, of course he adapts, and the perfect schedule of foods he always knew would be on each day of the week is changed, oh of course he doesn't like it but it's for his son child so of course he puts up with it.
(Yes he can't handle the spice, he might of traveled the world for 5 years but he lived off of energy bars and MREs so he didn't have to think about food while traning)
Then his son is gone, (its all his fault why does this always happen why can't he just say what he means to say) and the schedule comes back. Was pot roast always this bland? When did the mashed peas start to seem unpleasant?
Then...Jason is in his life, it's a whirlwind of things, trying to get him comfortable in a place that seemed like a fairy tale.
Jason, who lived on the streets for years, Jason who even before he was homeless was in a poor household, who made ketchup sandwiches cus he was able to snatch a few from the gas station when the clerk wasn't looking, who thought fresh veggies were a special treat meant to be savored, who always felt loved when his mom saved up a bit and they got smoked turkey legs and boiled them up in a soup.
That Jason looks at the offered food and feels uncomfortable, all that was far to much for him.
Jason, frowning at his bowl of soup: Um...what's the big bits of green?
Bruce, looking up from his case file: Hn, it's herbs Jaylad, I think basil and parsley.
Jason, nodding but clearly doesn't know: Oh yeah...totally see that now...
Unlike Dick, Jason doesn't ask for things, doesn't want to be a burden to the guy who took him in, so he eats and doesn't throw a fit.
(The first night Jason actually ate with Bruce the kid nearly ate till he threw up, not wanting to waste a single bit.)
It was months later when Jason finally asked for something another and...
Jason, fidgeting: So B...Um...I wanted to ask but uh...C-can I just get like...actual crackers and stuff? Not those fancy rich people ones but like...Ritz? Cheese wiz? I...I just...I don't like blue cheese.
Bruce, blinking in rich person: Ritz...as in the hotel? I can ask Alfred about a cheese wizard but...Hn..
Later
Bruce, fighting Condiment King: Do you know a Cheese Wizard?
Then Jason, his boy, his and Gotham light dies, Bruce finds his body broken and beaten and- he was breathing Bruce got him in time- he didn't. The boy wasn't responding. His boy. His Jason died in his arms. Choking out sobs as he couldn't get enough air in, coughing and shuddering as he tried to get the smoke out
(Jason's death certificate says he dies of smoke inhalation, the explosion didn't kill him, it was the fumes afterward)
Then Bruce shuts down, he becomes the Batman fully, Bruce Wayne died with his son that day and all that was left was the Bat.
Then a pesky boy put on Bruce's sons outfit, charged in and saved him. Pulling the man back from the brink kicking and screaming and crying.
Tim wasn't a son to Bruce (couldn't be, wouldn't allow him to be) he came every evening for training and patrol and then he was gone and that was all Bruce had to think about the boy.
Then he saw Jason in Tim, saw Dickie, saw himself and before Bruce knew he was caring for the kid.
Asking to say for a post patrol snack was first denied, about a dozen times before Tim broke, humming and quickly downing that German dish that Dick always wanted when he was feeling sick.
Tim slowly started to settle, growing a bit more lax in his own right, like a feral cat slowly becoming more comfortable with someone.
(No he didn't take advice from Selina...there isn't any proof)
Bruce, sitting at the bat computer, watching the reflection of Tim training in the background:
Tim, winded and tired after a few minutes and having to take a break, pulls out a protein bar:
Bruce, Vietnam war like flash back to his own training days where he only lived off ration bars: pained Hn
And once more Bruce adapts, learns. Tim won't stay for dinner, won't stay the night after a hard patrol, but Bruce can tempt him, with little things, a bit of jerky instead of what Bruce knows for sure are bulk baught meal replacement bars during a stake out, a thing of left overs (they arnt actually, Alfred made them just for Tim) of "last nights dinner"
Bruce is 75% sure Tim knows but neither say anything.
Then tragedy rears its ugly head and Tim's parents are dead, first his mother, his father in a coma and...Tim choses to run away, hiding behind an uncle Bruce is very much aware didn't exist three days ago, and he can't do anything more than what he has already.
Then his boy (God not again why does he always get attached) losses his father, murdered by a God damn Flash rogue.
(The angry rant Barry gets about keeping track of criminals and their whereabouts become legendary in the Leauge)
Finally Bruce's boy is at the Manor and...Bruce sees him, almost for the first time behind the mask of "Tim Drake, the nice young man" he's reclusive, obsessive and picks at his food more than he eats. Surviving on snack foods and energy drinks.
It's a chore to get the boy to eat anything that wasn't out of a package or a box (and Bruce gets it he really did, knowing what it will taste like and knowing it will always taste the same was very comforting) but he managed.
Then like a hurricane Damian is brought into his life, his son, (he has another, one he never knew about and oh God he already loves him, already would die to have the boy trust) and then-
He's gone.
He's flung through time and lost and lives not his own are played out and things he never thought would be comforting are.
Then...then he is found and God it's been months, it's been ages and...
Dick is more Damians father than he could ever be, was there for him in was Bruce should have been...
Dick leaves again, but not as far as Jump city, comes to stay at Bludhaven. (So close but so far away, why didn't he want to stay?)
Jason comes back just as he came into this world, screaming and covered in blood (His boy, his Jaylad ALIVE BREATHING)
Tim has matured, changed, and he walks differently now, far more like Ra's stride (Why does Tim get dead look in his eyes now? What has his son seen? What has he done...)
And Damian. He only was with him briefly, not nearly long enough to see his LoA mask drop, to see the boy beneath the weapon.
That mask goes back on when Bruce returns, he sees the true Damian for a moment before it is shut off fully, sees his son (God did he say how much he loves the boy already?) Softly petting a cat names Alfred before noticing Bruce.
And like all times before, Bruce adapts, changes his approach yet again.
Damian responds to violence, he expects to be yelled at and will only respect a choice if it was fought for, Bruce knows this and...he messes up some times, takes the easy way out and does what the boy know and Bruce feels the guilt.
But he tries to connect, past the way of pain that Damian knows.
Damian, fuming in his room after an argument with Bruce, angrily looking at the wall: 😠
Bruce, knocking on the door, then opening it a second later, not saying anything as he sets down a bowl of mango on Damians bedside table, then leaves.
Damian, grumbling as he eats the fruit of forgiveness: Stupid Father...
(He 100% asked Talia what she normally does and it seemed to work)
Their relationship is rocky, but they find moments where they touch, where Father and Son find a soft moment, Damian teaching Bruce how to make his grandfather's Chai blend, Bruce in turn teaching his son how to make latkes, an exchange of their pasts together.
Then Cassandra comes and Bruce is thrown for a loop once more, she is unlike any of his other children, she is open, painfully so, she might seemed closed off, silent and deadly...but Bruce can see her, truly see her as she wants to be seen and she is screaming, hurt and scared and all alone.
He takes her home, David Cain can try and take his daughter away but there will be hell to pay.
And then she is home, she is settled in a life where she can learn more than just violence.
She stares at the plate of food that is put in front of her the first dinner that Bruce's family has together (HE HAS A FAMILY! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?)
And she cries.
It is just as she wanted but she didnt know what to do, David Cain was a horrid man, in his chase for the perfect weapon he long left the idea of pleasure and care by the way side.
So Cass was overwhelmed by actual food, not nutrient dense bars that tasted bitter and was ash on her tongue.
Cass, pitifully looking down at an orange: HOW DO I EAT YOU?
Bruce looking on from his seat: Sweetheart? Don't eat the peel, Cass-Cass. No. Cassandra please. N-No not the lime! Put that down! You're just going to...that.
Cass, looking pained from eating a whole lime at once: 😞
Bruce, looking equally pained: Sweetheart you can spit it out...
And Bruce thinks his family is big enough, with his boys and his wonderful daughter (no Steph and Barbara didn't count, as they both kept on insisting, they both still had parents)
And then comes along Duke and...God he is already signing the foster papers before he could think too hard.
Duke is unlike the rest of his children as in he is batshit insane but hides it far better than he has any right too.
Bruce tries to not pull his hair out as the kid talks about how he made a kinda cult around Robin and lead them to help the Bats...
It takes time for Duke to get used to the Manor, but he does slowly, finding his place in the family much easier than they all assumed.
Unlike the rest of his children, for some reason it is easy for Bruce to speak with Duke, it's as if they both think similarly.
If Bruce wanted any of his children to take up the cowl when he dies (Which he very much would not like thank you very much) Bruce is hesitant to fully say Cass would be the next Bat, while Cassandra has the fists to do it, Duke had the dedication and drive to, the mental state to truly be the Dark Knight.
Bruce, in the cave, hour 36 with out sleep, 5 coffees deep into a conspiracy: hn.
Duke, right there with him, missed two days of school and hasn't stopped drinking energy drinks: Hm?
Bruce, wordlessly passing the files over, before pulling a face at Dukes energy drinks: Hn..
Duke, taking files but offended on his poor babies behalf, popping one open and dumping it into Bruce's (empty) coffee cup: Have some you marshmallow looking ass...fuck out my face B.
Bruce, scowling, taking a sip before freezing for a full minute, (its the fruit juice kinda monster) his body hasn't has nutrients in a while and are all over this: Hmm...Nice.
(Duke shares more, cus while his dad is not able to be there for him, Bruce is more of that weird uncle that the rest of the family don't talk about.)
It's not till someone at a gala complains, saying "I understand he has an obsession with those...children, but why does everything have to be about them, I miss the old menu for these things." That Bruce realizes that the predetermined, predictable life he once clung to was gone, dead and long buried...and Bruce couldn't care about it less.
(That Gala person gets personally banned and their business is outed for all the shitty things they have done.)
---
This....this was far longer than what I meant this to be...I just wanted to talk about what they would like and what kinda food the batfams culture has but um...this got way outta hand...so ya.
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antiquarianfics · 5 months ago
Text
Taken pt. 11
If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would go back to that morning. He would hold you a little tighter in his arms, and he would kiss you a little deeper. He would pull your daughter in between the two of you, letting her giggle as loudly as she wants whilst her parents kiss her cheeks and tickle her belly. If Bucky Barnes could time travel, he would have told you not to go to the park—to go anywhere else. But Bucky Barnes can’t time travel, and his wife and daughter are gone.
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a/n: this is a direct result of the power of commenting/reblogging an author's work. someone said they were sad they didn't think i was going to finish this, and i realized i hadn't finished it, and i have some time for once, so i decided to be skibidi sigma. (gen alpha brainrot is starting to come out unironically. i work with middle schoolers. sorry.)
warnings: swearing, blackmail, mention of murder, themes of conspiracy, canon typical violence.
note: I do not own the character Bucky Barnes or any other Marvel affiliated characters. Any and all characters are a work of fiction and any likeness to real persons is wholly unintentional.
You do not have permission to copy, translate, or repost my work; however, feel free to like, comment, and reblog.
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When the judge tells you, “Mrs. Y/N L/N-Barnes, you’re a free woman,” you let out a sob and feel yourself yanked into a firm chest that you’d recognize anywhere: Bucky.
“You’re okay, sweetheart. You’re coming home.”
—
You would think that months working for the enemy, followed by months locked up in a cell, followed by a month of trial, that finally ended in your freedom and return to your family would bring you peace.
It doesn't.
Sure, finally sleeping in your own bed again and cuddling up next to your husband was amazing, hugging your daughter again was amazing, having privacy again was amazing... but freedom and its perks don't erase trauma. You get to lie in your own bed again and cuddle up next to your husband, but you can't sleep lest the nightmares come. You get to hug your daughter again, but you're always looking over your shoulder, worried someone will snatch her away from you again. You get to have privacy, but you never trust that you're truly alone.
After everything that has happened, you realize, you will never be able to go back to how things were. You're a different person than you were before you and Becca were taken. You're a murderer now, not a hero. When you look at your hands, all you see is blood, and when you look in the mirror, all you see is a shell of the woman you once were.
—
The first week back home as a free woman is spent making amends, as per the recommendation of your court-mandated therapist.
"Steve, I am so sorry for trying to kill you. I... I don't even know what to say. If it weren't for Bec, I wouldn't've, but-" You say, throat dry, palms sweaty as you wipe them on your pants.
"Hey, it's okay. I understand. I forgive you. If anyone is going to understand turning on a friend to protect someone they care about, it's me." Steve gives you a comforting smile, his tone so earnest. "Just ask Tony and Bucky."
You crack a smile.
After Steve, came Fury and Coulson, the late presidents' family, the families of the many politicians you killed... the list felt unending as you worked your way through it.
It takes months to track down the loved ones of all the people you hurt while with HYDRA, and by the time you're finished with it, you're more exhausted than when you were literally locked up and starved while in HYDRA's custody.
With a huff and a frown, you flop onto the couch. You fall over the arm of the couch and land on your back. Bucky laughs a little as he watches your dramatic display, walking over and leaning over you, resting his arms on the back of the couch.
"Tired?" He asks.
"Yeah. This making amends stuff is exhausting. Don't know how you do it." You flop an arm over your eyes.
"Slowly but surely," he says. "And it helps that I have a super hot and supportive wife to encourage me when it feels like too much." He reaches over the couch and pokes your stomach. You giggle and squirm.
"I don't know that the 'hot' part helps the amends," you say pointedly.
"Maybe, but it doesn't hurt."
You smirk but say nothing. Bucky watches for a moment.
"Well?" He asks finally.
"Well what?"
"Are you going to say it back?"
"Say what back?"
"You know."
"I don't know."
"That having a super hot and supportive husband makes making amends easier," he says in a matter-of-fact tone. You lift your arm off your face to look at him; he's wearing a shit-eating grin.
"I guess it does help a little," you concede.
He jumps up, throwing his arms in the air in victory. It's a little out of character for him, but it makes you laugh. He's been going out of his way to make you laugh, even when it includes him doing things that feel unnatural to him. Bucky Barnes wants his wife back, yes, but he is also aware that after everything that you went through, you won't be the same. Things won't go back to normal: there will just be a new normal. In the meantime, he just wants you to laugh a little while you figure out what your new normal is.
—
At some point, you fall asleep on the couch. Bucky leaves you there, afraid to move you lest you wake up. Ever since your captivity with Frost and HYDRA, you've been having nightmares that Bucky worries rival his. Any nightmare-free sleep you get is rare and needed.
Bucky had lain a blanket over you before putting Becca to bed and heading to bed himself, and even though he'd deny it, he was exhausted, too. So when your nightmares start, he doesn't wake up.
The nightmare starts out slow, and you toss and turn in your sleep, pitiful whimpers leaving your lips. Though, it doesn't take long for the nightmares to progress. Soon, you've tossed the blanket onto the floor and your whimpers have turned into screams. Bucky doesn't hear, but Becca does.
The 4 year old walks through the apartment, leaving her room quietly in search of her screaming mother. She's scared; she's never heard you scream like this. While locked up, she heard you scream in anger—she still remembers how you screamed and pulled the chains out of the wall—but she has never heard you scream in fear. Until now. Her mommy has always been the bravest person she knows, and that's even braver than her daddy—he said so himself.
Clutching her stuffed rabbit in one hand, she slowly walks into the living room where she can see you flailing and screaming on the couch.
"Mommy?" Becca calls out softly, nervously. When you don't answer, she tries again, moving closer still. "Mommy, wake up."
Again, you don't answer. You're still deeply asleep. Becca walks up to the couch and stands right beside you. Tentatively, she places the hand not holding her rabbit against your shoulder and shakes.
"Mommy, wake up."
When you still don't wake up, she shakes your shoulder a little harder and speaks up a little louder.
"Mommy, wake up! Mommy, it's just a dream. Just a bad dream. Wake up!" She gives a good push to your shoulder with the last 'wake up' and you sit up quickly, swinging your arms in a punch. You hit Becca, and she stumbles back, loses her balance, and falls, hitting her head against the coffee table.
You start to fully come to. You're looking around the room frantically, breathing heavily, and, slowly, you realize you're in a familiar place. Slowly, you recognize your living room. Slowly, you realize your daughter is bleeding on the floor.
You do a double take. Becca is sat against the coffee table, her bunny abandoned at her side. She's holding her head, but blood is still dripping out from the sides of her small hand, and she's bawling.
"M-m-mommy, I'm s-s-sorry!" She cries.
"Becca! Oh, no, no, no!" You quickly stumble off the couch, sitting on your knees as you hover your hands next to Becca's head, trying to assess the damage.
"I'm so sorry, baby. Mama's so sorry. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to."
The commotion is loud enough that it wakes Bucky up and he slides into the room, panic staining his face.
"Y/N, what's going on? Are you okay? Is Becca okay?" He says worriedly, rushing over to you and kneeling beside you.
Noticing that you're not actually touching Becca or trying to help, he pushes you out of the way, pulling Becca's hand away from her forehead. He grimaces as he gently swipes his thumb across the cut, wiping the blood away. He lets out a relieved breath.
"It's not that bad. It's okay. You're okay, sweetheart," he tells Becca, kissing her forehead.
Bucky turns to see that you've backed yourself into the corner of the room, as far away from him and Becca as you could possibly get. You're holding your head in your hands, crying, and muttering "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to," over and over.
"Doll, she's okay. It's just a small cut. You didn't do anything wrong," Bucky reassures you, scooping Becca in his arms as he speaks. He was piecing together that you'd hurt her in a post-nightmare haze (he was familiar with them).
You just shake your head frantically.
—
Bucky gets Becca cleaned up and put back to bed. When he returns to the living room, you're still huddled in the corner, but you've stopped crying. Instead, you're staring blankly at the wall. He walks over.
"Doll? Hey." He gently tilts your chin towards him. "Bec's okay. She's not mad—a little rattled—but mostly worried about her mama. You didn't do anything wrong. You know that, right?"
You shake your head and he sighs.
"She's asking for you."
You finally make eye contact.
"No. I don't want to see her; I can't see her. You have to keep Becca away from me, Bucky." Each word that leaves your mouth is deadly serious. Bucky's mouth is slightly agape as he takes in your words.
"Sweetheart, she's okay. You can see her," he tries.
"No, I can't. I'm a danger to her, Bucky. I hurt my baby." Your voice cracks, and the pain in your voice breaks Bucky's heart.
"Promise me you will keep her away from me," you beg.
He nods reluctantly. "Okay."
You nod and turn your gaze back to the wall. It's silent for a few minutes.
You stand abruptly and Bucky quickly mirrors the action.
"What is it?" Bucky asks.
"I'm going to kill Frost," you say at the same time.
A beat. Bucky stares at you.
"I'm going to hunt that son of a bitch down, and I am going to make him pay for everything he has done to this family." You make direct eye contact with your husband. "Everything."
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