#is it out of sincerity cause you genuinely thought i vanished from the face of the earth

[savage-rhi]

Late night magenta.

[jujitto]

. . . . . . .약간의 질투는 아프지 않습니다 ★ a l i t t l e j e a l o u s y n e v e r h u r t a n y o n e

p a i r i n g s :: yang jungwon x reader

g e n r e :: angst, fluff

w a r n i n g :: not proofread

w / c :: 1.3k

You wondered if he liked you. Because if he didn't you were getting a lot of mixed signals. Because the way he hugged you, the way he looked into your eyes, and the way he laughed at your jokes, all seemed to suggest that he might have feelings for you. But at the same time, there were moments when he seemed distant or preoccupied, leaving you confused and unsure about his true intentions.

As you hugged Jay, you couldn't help but steal a glance at him. His intense glare pierced through your soul, causing your heart to sink. Jungwon had never looked at you that way. It was as if all the warmth and affection you thought you had shared vanished in an instant. Confusion and pain washed over you, leaving you with a million questions and a heavy heart. A sad smile settled on your face which you hadn't noticed until Jay gently turned your head to face him, you were momentarily taken aback by the concern etched on his face. His eyes searched yours, filled with a mix of curiosity and worry, as if he could sense something was wrong. The intensity of his gaze made your heart flutter, momentarily distracting you from the confusion and pain that had just consumed you.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice laced with genuine concern. "Is everything okay?"

You mustered a weak smile and nodded, trying to brush off the wave of emotions that had engulfed you. "Yeah, I'm fine," you replied, your voice betraying a hint of sadness. "Just lost in my thoughts for a moment, I guess." You took a step away from the older boy. Jay's brows furrowed slightly, his concern somewhat deepening. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice tinged with sincerity. He reached out and gently touched your arm, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

You hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether to share your feelings with him. But the genuine concern in Jay's eyes encouraged you to open up. Taking a deep breath, you simply nodded your head giving him a weak smile. Jay didn't press the issue further, respecting your decision to keep your thoughts to yourself for now. However, his concern remained evident in his gaze, and he gently squeezed your arm before letting go.

Leaving you alone Jay left you to your thoughts. None of the others had noticed you until Sunoo had wrapped you in a hug. With a weak smile, you greeted the others. "Hey, yn. You ok?" Jake asked with concerned eyes. You returned Jake's concern with a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm okay," you replied, though your voice still carried a hint of melancholy. "Just had a lot on my mind, but I'll be fine." Sunoo's hug offered some comfort, and you gratefully hugged him back.

As the group chatted and laughed, you tried your best to push your confusing emotions aside and enjoy the moment. However, your mind kept drifting back to Jungwon's intense gaze. You wondered if it was all in your head if you were reading too much into his actions and expressions.

As the evening went on, you found yourself sitting on the bench, watching the sunset. Lost in your thoughts, you stared at the vibrant hues of orange and pink painting the sky. The gentle breeze played with your hair, offering a momentary distraction from the turmoil within. You couldn't help but replay the events of the day, analyzing every interaction, every word exchanged between you and Jungwon.

What had happened to the sweet Jungwon who laughed with you, made you smile, and held your hand. As you sat on the bench, a mix of emotions swirled within you. Confusion, sadness, and a tinge of longing lingered in your heart. You couldn't understand what had caused Jungwon's sudden change in demeanor. Was it something you had done or said?

As you sat there, deep in thought, a familiar voice broke through the silence. "Mind if I join you?" It was Jungwon, his voice carrying a hint of hesitation. You looked up at him, surprised by his sudden presence but unable to hide the flicker of hope in your eyes.

"Of course," you replied softly, making room for him on the bench. He sat down beside you, his gaze fixed on the horizon. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the only sound being the gentle rustling of leaves and the distant waves crashing against the shore.

As the silence stretched on, you couldn't help but steal glances at Jungwon, trying to decipher the emotions reflected on his face. His brows were slightly furrowed, and his eyes seemed lost in contemplation. The weight of the unspoken tension hung in the air, and you finally mustered the courage to break it.

"Jungwon, did I do something wrong?" you asked softly, your voice tinged with concern. His gaze flickered toward you, his expression a mix of surprise and worry as he grabbed your hands in his. As Jungwon held your hands, his touch sent a wave of warmth through your body, momentarily easing the confusion and pain that had been weighing on you. His eyes searched yours, filled with a mixture of emotions that mirrored your own.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong," Jungwon replied, his voice filled with sincerity. "It's my fault." Jungwon's admission caught you off guard, and you couldn't help but feel a mix of relief and curiosity. You squeezed his hands gently, silently urging him to continue. His eyes never left yours as he took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

"Maybe I shouldn't have let my emotions get to me," Jungwon confessed, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "Yn. I like you but I shouldn't have let my jealousy get to me." You felt your heart skip a beat as Jungwon's words washed over you. The mix of emotions within you intensified, now accompanied by a glimmer of hope. It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, knowing that Jungwon's change in demeanor wasn't a result of something you had done wrong.

"I should've noticed earlier, I'm sorry Wonie," you spoke cupping his cheeks in your hands. As you cupped Jungwon's cheeks, a tender smile graced his lips, and his eyes softened. He leaned into your touch, relishing the warmth and affection that emanated from your gentle gesture.

"Yn," he whispered, his voice filled with gratitude and sincerity. "Thank you for understanding. I didn't mean to confuse or hurt you. It's just... seeing you with Jay, the way he looked at you, it stirred something inside me." His voice wavered with a hint of vulnerability, revealing a side of Jungwon you hadn't seen before. With a smile, you leaned forward, closing the distance between you and Jungwon. Your lips met in a soft, gentle kiss, sealing the unspoken words and unspoken emotions that had lingered between you. The kiss was filled with a mixture of sweetness, relief, and the promise of something more.

As your lips parted, you both leaned back, gazing into each other's eyes with newfound clarity and understanding. The weight of confusion and uncertainty that had plagued you earlier seemed to dissipate, replaced by a sense of reassurance and connection.

"I like you too, Jungwon," you confessed, your voice filled with sincerity. As the words left your lips, a radiant smile spread across Jungwon's face, illuminating his features with joy and relief. He pulled you into a tight embrace, holding you as if he never wanted to let go.

"I'm sorry for letting my jealousy get the better of me.," Jungwon whispered, his voice filled with remorse. You pulled back slightly, your hands cupping his face as he looked deeply into your eyes. "Hey, a little jealousy never hurt anyone." You chuckled before leaning in to press a gentle kiss against Jungwon's lips.

[syllvane]

the lovers- kaz brekker x reader

a/n: this was requested by anon!

request something here

Kaz didn’t like to showcase his vulnerabilities.

It’s why he wore gloves- anything that could be interpreted as a possible weakness, he twisted into the image that he had created for himself, incorporated it into the legend that surrounded him.

You really weren’t that different.

Yes, he cared for you, more than he cared for most people, but there was nothing sacred to Kaz Brekker.

To the Barrel, you were just the Archer, just another spider that Dirtyhands had on his payroll, though your specialty was arrows rather than knives.

And you were fine with that- even within the Dregs, only a few knew of your relationship with Kaz.

If any of the others suspected, you would have genuinely been surprised.

Public displays of affection never occurred and even in private, the farthest you had gone was holding hands with him, not that you minded.

You would move at whatever speed was comfortable for him and not anything more.

Cue you and Kaz at some all too extravagant party, guarding the hallway that led to the Merchant’s office, the office which Jesper and Inej were currently in, stealing information from the Merchant’s ledgers.

You were wearing some all too tight dress while Kaz had been outfitted in a suit, his hair slicked back.

Although he looked nice, you still wanted nothing more than to run your hands through his hair and undo all the hard work that Nina had done.

You peeked around the corner before drawing back quickly, pulling Kaz into one of the enclaves of a doorway.

“Guards,” You told him and he glanced at his watch as you heard footsteps at the beginning of the hallway.

“They need more time,” He said, more to himself than anyone else.

“Kaz,” You said under your breath, growing increasingly aware of one of the guards approaching the small enclave.

“I know,” He said, almost annoyed, before taking a deep breath.

“What are you-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Kaz cut you off by pushing you against the wall and kissing you.

You stood there in shock, completely unresponsive before you realized what he was doing and played into it.

You barely even realized when the guard found the two of you, the sound of your heart hammering in your chest and the blood rushing in your ears distracting you from anything else.

The guard grunted and Kaz pulled away from you, looking at the ground.

“You shouldn’t be back here,” The guard said sheepishly and you tried your best to look flustered, though you didn’t have to do much acting.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, sir. Me and my boyfriend, we just wanted to find a… private spot, I’m sure you understand.”

He looked between the two of you, a blush appearing on the guard's face.

“R-right, I understand miss, but you can’t be back here.  I’ll escort the two of you back to the party.”

“Thank you so much, sir. I promise that it won’t happen again,” You said sincerely and the guard nodded, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Have a good night now,” He said after leading the two of you back to the main party.

You and Kaz made your way outside of the party, trying to find some privacy.

“You-”

“I did what I had to do to keep us safe,” He said, though you could tell from his voice that that wasn’t the whole story.

You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to keep your bare arms warm in the cool Ketterdam night.

“You’re going to catch a cold,” Kaz said sullenly, sliding out of his jacket and offering it to you.

You grabbed it from him hesitantly and put it on, reveling in the warmth that it provided.

“That was some quick thinking on your part.”

Kaz didn’t say anything for a couple of moments, flexing his gloved fingers over the top of his cane.

“Yes, well, it wasn’t a difficult choice to make. We did what we had to do in order to keep Inej and Jesper safe.”

You remembered the way his lips crashed into you, the way he had pushed you against the wall.

Your face warmed.

“What wasn’t a difficult choice?” Inej asked, appearing out of nowhere and causing you to jump. Her eyes narrowed as you jumped- usually, you were able to spot Inej before anyone else, but you weren’t exactly paying attention to your surroundings at the moment. Before she could question you, Kaz spoke.

“Do you have a copy of the ledger or not?”

“Of course. We’re not amateurs, you know,” Jesper said, holding out the journal to Kaz, who didn’t say anything else.

He looked at you, almost as if he expected to be looking at thin air before his gaze softened almost imperceptibly.

“You two go on without us. We’ll meet you back at the Slat.”

As if she had never been there at all, Inej simply vanished back into the darkness. Jesper groaned slightly but didn’t object, walking back towards the direction of the Slat.

You and Kaz walked slowly throughout the streets of Ketterdam, as if you were an old married couple strolling through a garden as opposed to whatever the two of you were strolling through an unforgiving city.

“Thought you would’ve disappeared the first chance you got after Inej and Jesper showed up,” He said nonchalantly, his voice even.

“I’m not doing much of anything in this dress, much less jumping from roof to roof,” You said pointedly, though your tone was easygoing.

“What happened earlier-”

“We don’t have to talk about it. If you want, what happened there can stay there,” You said, cutting him off.

“It wasn’t pleasant,” Kaz said shortly. “But it wasn’t horrible either.”

You stopped where you were walking, looking at him.

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Oh, hush,” He said, the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

“Careful, Brekker, you’re getting awfully close to looking like a human being.”

“What can I say? You’re a bad influence.”

You laughed and a small smile tugged at Kaz’s lips.

Maybe he should just drop the whole revenge thing, just try and make you laugh for the rest of your life’s. He thinks that maybe he can be happy with that.

You lead him to a restaurant, where someone was strumming a guitar, playing an unfamiliar, folksy tune.

In the streetlight, your face lit up and you outstretched a hand towards him.

“You owe me a dance from earlier.”

He pulled a face.

“I owe you no such thing.”

“If Jesper was here, he would dance with me,” You said to him and he frowned.

“Yes, well, good thing he isn’t here then. I won’t have to break his legs this way.”

You rolled your eyes.

“What do you have to lose, Kaz? Just this one dance. One dance and then we can go back to being all boring.”

“I was joking before, but you are an actual bad influence,” He grumbled, taking your hand.

The smile that appeared on your face almost made it all worth it.

What the two of you did was hardly dancing- it was more him standing and letting you guide him and letting him twirl you than anything rhythmic, but it made you happy and that was all that really mattered to Kaz.

Whatever he could do to make you smile like that, even if it meant embarrassment in front of drunk restaurant patrons, he supposed it was worth it.

After an appropriate amount of time passed, the two of you continued walking and you held onto his hand a little tighter than before.

“Happy now?” He asked and you smiled.

“It wasn’t pleasant, but it wasn’t horrible either,” You quoted and he shook his head, trying to get rid of the smile that was on his face.

“The kiss wasn’t bad. I wouldn’t be objected to trying again sometime.”

“Neither was the dancing,” You chided, though you were grinning. He rolled his eyes.

“You’re pushing your luck, Archer.”

You shrugged.

“Would you really have me any other way?” You asked, walking ahead of him.

You didn’t see him shake his head or the small smile that appeared on his face as he watched you.

“No,” He said quietly. “I wouldn’t.”

[backdoortowonderland]

Heartbreakers Club

3. unlucky 

↬ summary: the popular kpop group ateez is set for training in LA for the following 6 months. the rules are clear: practice, rest and prepare for the next comeback. but what happens when love gets into the mix? what happens when san falls for someone who isn’t interested in getting involved with someone she can never truly have? stay tuned to find out!

↬ ateez smau

↬ san x fem college student!reader

↬ genre: fluff, comedy, angst, drama

↬ taglist:  @asyamonet22​​

↬ Masterlist | Previous | Next

What was meant to be a fleeting conversation morphed into ten minutes, and then twenty. The eldest of the group were simply far too kind to shut down. The sincerity in their eyes accompanied by the softness of their words had you questioning your deep-rooted dislike for celebrities.

Maybe… You could be friends. Maybe.

It was only when a vibration had sounded within your pocket that you remembered your conversation with Yeonjun. You tried to excuse yourself while scooping out your phone, but just as you stepped back, Seonghwa suggested you take a selfie together. Beside him, Hong Joong nodded with a smile in agreement, and well… There was no way you could say no.

The photograph turned out extremely cute, a comment you offered before thanking them for their hospitality.

Was it wrong that a piece of you really did want to be their friends? It turned out your music taste aligned with Hong Joong’s, and Seonghwa’s hidden love for Star Wars had you wondering if he would ever do a movie marathon.

A gentle laugh crawled up your throat as you shook off the thoughts. They were surely cool, and maybe in another life you could have been friends. But in this world, you were a mere college student who got lucky for a day.

Or maybe unlucky was the better word.

Staring at the trio awaiting you, unlucky was the only word you would use to describe yourself. Your best friend raised an eyebrow at you in interest before beckoning you forward with a lazy hand movement.

“Sorry I vanished for so long.” You tried to sound distant, but it did not seem to register with the group. Yeonjun only shot you an artificial disgusted look to display his disapproval.

“Don’t worry about it!” Chan offered a reassuring smile in your direction, and it would have under normal circumstances caused your heart to skip a beat. Except, right now, your attention kept travelling to the individual beside him.

“I hope I was not the reason you ran away.” San added with a chortle. While the question was posed with humour, the little eyebrow raise he gave you, indicated that the inquiry was somewhat genuine. 

Chan laughed at his comment, and Yeonjun merely scoffed lowly.

But what about you?

“Why would I run away from you, Sam?” A cheeky grin stretched out the corners of your mouth as you emphasized the incorrect name. The hint of a smile that was once present on San’s face had melted immediately, which only encouraged you to continue. “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant San. How could I forget the name of the person who stalked my twitter?”

Yeonjun pressed his lips together to contain his laughter, and turned away to hide his expression. Chan, out of caution, covered his mouth to conceal his own amusement.

“Wow! That was cold.” Mingi emerged from behind you with Yunho, prompting you to go very still. It was a playful comment, but would they react poorly? You had heard some idols could be very nasty. 

Yeonjun noticing your confidence drain, decided to take things into his own hands.

“Aye, y/n. Be nicer. I know you love bullying your crushes but that isn’t the correct way.” His words were packaged with a distasteful click of his tongue.

A small “what” parted your lips as the group of boys fell into a laughing fit.

How to recover – how the hell could you recover from that?

“I guess I should bully you really good then, yo-yo. Since I am your biggest fan!” A mischievous smile plastered to your visage as you threw your arms around Yeonjun’s neck before smacking a kiss onto his cheek.

Your real life attempt at a uno verse card had appeared to work, but it was impossible to miss the curiosity sparking to life in San’s eyes as he rested his head on Yunho’s shoulder.

[bubblyani]

The Letter

(Melvin Purvis x Reader)

A Melvin Purvis One Shot

Fandom: Public Enemies (2009) Michael Mann

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6.6k+

Summary: The day when the FBI plans to catch John Dillinger, you finally write a letter full of undisclosed affections to Melvin Purvis, the love of your life. 


Author’s Note: Please note, this is all based on the fictionalized version of the character played by Christian Bale. It was a challenging concept but very happy with the outcome. Maybe I’m just “Bumping Gums*” but, hope y’all enjoy!!

“What are you thinking about?”

That familiar, male voice inquired. Cool yet affectionate; lingering in the darkness long enough for a female voice to hum before responding:

“Me? just things…” she began, her voice comprised of a much greater familiarity above all others, “Things I wanna say to you. I…” a chuckle arose, “It’s silly but…” she inhaled deep, “I just want to, write them down…for you”  

“What?…like in a letter?”

“Uh huh!”

“Why? I’m right here” Her giggles seasoned his genuine curiousity,“It’s not the same. I…” she inevitably paused, “I’m just shy” as softness smeared over her tone. “Oh…” he decided to follow suite, “…somehow I don’t believe that” with his words exiting in the form of purrs, the two pairs of lips finally met. The kiss, it was chaste. Yet the sound remained crisp. And the shared chuckles that soon followed, were crispier. Audibly vivid at its finest.

Sheer pity, for it merely was a memory. Such a pity, for it vanished the very second your eyes dared to open.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(1934)

A heavy sigh left your lips in disappointment. Arms folded, your right index finger wandered over your silk robe, in detail. It had no other option, especially when your lips could not indulge his own, when your eyes could not indulge the only loving gaze that truly mattered. Thus, there you were, running your fingers over the silk of harsh reality. Nothing to imagine, nothing to relive.

All the while you stood, staring at the door ahead. The door from where he just left.

It was a lazy afternoon, and anxiousness had found its way deep into your bloodstream. Woken nerves, uneasy stomach, the pounding heart with great speed and clarity. Harsh reality had turned to the worse, grabbing you by the shoulders, only to force you to stare deep at it.

Face the facts, it uttered. But which part of you wanted to do so?

Though being the sole occupant in the room, your pounding heartbeat did not fail to drown your very own hearing. This feeling, you despised it, to the core. If only it would stop.

Until it finally did. But only when you spun back around in a split second. For you decided to take action on it instead.

Planting yourself firm on the wooden desk, hands were occupied in the hurried dance as drawers were pulled, and stashes of paper were grabbed and dropped out before you. But once the hands found their way to a beautiful pen inside, all actions reduced pace. Holding it with care, your eyes grew warm by the mere sight. For the pen, it was a symbol of things a many, and one in particular. The one which cost you a heavy sigh, before opening the cap and let the pen make take its course on the paper. And just like that, you finally wrote down two words. Two out of the many your heart ached to speak into existence:

Dear Mel…

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The sigh that followed soon after, was relieving. It was liberating. In truth, even a smile seemed possible. Hence, your intentions were clear.

“Dear Mel…” leaning forward, you read it out with warmth. For you were prepared to permit the ink to reunite with the paper once again, and linger on a little longer:

Looks like I finally found a reason to sit down and write this letter to you. Honestly, I feel like laughing, cause I never thought I’d end up doing this. 


Chuckling to oneself, you proceeded to write:

But I know if I don’t do this now, I would regret it. Cause now I finally know you deserve to read every last bit of my thoughts and feelings. All that I have hidden for too long. Before it’s too late.

Seeing you walk out that door wasn’t anything new. But when you did it this afternoon, it felt different. My heart, it felt something. It was heavy! That’s the word. Was I worried? afraid? I don’t know. All I know was that, it was too much. Enough for me to remember your effect on me.

Those words may have been generalized, yet you were astounded by the comfort you sensed when writing them. Inhaling deep, you kept on:

You were not a man I expected to ever meet in my life, Melvin Purvis. Never for one second. Out of all the folks here in Chicago, why would we ever meet? Whatever reason it was, I am very thankful. I am very thankful I opened my door to the hallway that night.

And I am thankful for Mr. Lloyd, and for that man in the navy blue coat.

Your words, they brimmed with sincerity. Looking up from the paper, you couldn’t help but stare into the wall. It was simply inevitable. Especially when every bit of detail began to flow into your consciousness, only to unfold the memory of that fateful night in your mind.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chick Webb’s “Blues in my Heart*” playing in the radio, certainly did not fail to mirror your heart to perfection. For the melancholia was mutual. And the dim lights illuminating the apartment in the late evening, seemed to have sealed the emotion shut.

Memorable was your deep sigh, along with warm cup of tea that rested on your hands:

“I figured he, of all people would vouch for me, but instead he just…hung up” You remembered uttering, tone enriched with sadness whilst imitating a telephone being disconnected.

“Well…” a gruff voice began, “…if I were your Old man, I would never pull that nonsense”

You looked up, to set your eyes over at your neighbor Wilmer Lloyd, sitting across from you in his pajamas. A spritely gentleman in his late seventies, Lloyd was the friend, who in time became the father figure you wished you had.

Amused by his temper filled response, You chuckled with disbelief:

“Mr. Lloyd, your daughter had to move to another city, cause you didn’t like the fella she wanted to marry” you replied, “No need for the unnecessary kindness” adding with a smile, you proceeded to take a sip of the hot beverage.

“What kindness? she is no good kid like you. She married a goon*! ” Lloyd responded in defense, leaning forward with conviction, “While your Pops is just mad cause you’re trying to be a Secretary”

“I bet you a Lincoln* that my folks rather have me marry a goon, than have me find my own way of living”  you said, gulping down the rest of the tea.

“Don’t jinx it, kid” the old man grunted, his index finger pointed right at you, “I don’t wanna hate you too”

You laughed out loud. Truthfully, you were relieved to have finally did. The room felt too depressing for too long.

“Alright, kid. I’m beat” the old man sighed, pushing himself up to stand with a grunt. “Goodnight, Mr.Lloyd” You stood alongside him. The two parted ways, with you making your way over to the kitchen, and your neighbor making his way out. As if it was so habitual. For a daily chat with old Wilmer Lloyd, was indeed habitual.

Your first proper encounter with Lloyd was a special one. It was only a few months ago that you moved into Chicago. Stressful work shifts and lack of friends led to an eventual emotional breakdown one fine evening. A seemingly noticeable one, which caused the usually moody Lloyd to peep through his door, only to find you bawling your eyes out in the hallway. The sight of you kneeling before your apartment door in tears, was more than enough for his cold heart to melt, and to voice his concern. All while he helped you gather the groceries that had fallen out of your brown paper bag.

“We all gotta start somewhere, kid”

That phrase of comfort, was the invisible handkerchief that wiped your tears that day. And as you rinsed the tea cup, that phrase managed to return to your consciousness, being an invisible hand to pat you on the shoulder. Closing the tap, you sighed with relief. For you were once again thankful for the good in humanity.

Until the sound of a gunshot attacked your ears.

Clinging on to the sink with a jump, you felt your heart beat out loud, and there was no stopping. Before any was comprehended, a loud groan soon followed, originating from the Hallway. Your eyes widened. Could it be?

“Mr.Lloyd…” you breathed, as your legs finally made you dash towards the door to open. You gasped out loud, the moment you found Wilmer Lloyd sprawled on the floor, shot.

“Oh my god!…” you whispered, kneeling beside him.

But Lloyd lost your attention for a slight second, for you caught the sight of a man disappearing into the right-side stairwell. The sight was quick and blurry, yet it was evident he was armed. And one particular color was prominent as he left.

The groan repeated, forcing you to focus on Lloyd once again. Which was most important.

“A-are you alright?” A meek inquiry was all that you could do.

“WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, KID?” The old man answered in pain, shifting. Slight relief washed over you, when you noticed he was only shot in the arm. Perhaps it was your heartbeat, or a new set of pounding footsteps nearby. Either way, the sounds grew louder from the left.

“Freeze! Chicago Police-” A voice, a male voice cried out, only to pause, causing you to look over, only to freeze.

Lowering his pistol, a well dressed man stood, surrounded by two others. All in suits and fedoras, and all seemingly alarmed by the sight of you and Lloyd.

“Is he alright, Ma’am?” The first man inquired. “I’m fine. Jesus!” Lloyd responded with annoyance. The man nodded with acknowledgement. Although there was slight embarrassment in the his face, you were simply too distracted by the cool nature of his voice.

“I know this is the wrong time but…” the man uttered, “…but did you see-”

“The shooter? ” you began all the sudden, “…in a navy blue coat? He went that way” pointing towards the right, you added. The muscles of the man’s tensed face relieved.

“Thank you, ma’am…” he breathed, before making a dash, “Boys! Take this man to the hospital” his commanding voice trailed behind him, indicating Lloyd. All before he himself disappeared into the stairwell.

And to your luck, the two able bodied youngsters knelt over the old man to do the needful. “The bullet is still inside. He’s gonna be alright, ma’am”

“Thank god! You heard him, Mr.Lloyd” you said, “Let’s go”

“Eh…” Lloyd muttered, holding the wound whilst being carried, “Not that I’m overjoyed about getting shot, but I gotta say I’m more than happy to know I’m not gonna die tonight” he grunted. To which you finally smiled behind him:

“Not in a million years…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The sound of loud sirens shattered your trail of reminiscence. Sirens, you gasped. For they suddenly brought you worry. Was he in trouble already?

Parting from the pen and paper, your hands pushed you to rise and scurry towards the window. Except you merely saw a youngster getting his ear pulled by an angry policeman, for fiddling with the police car siren.

You clutched your chest, sighing with relief to see. The fact that daylight yet reigned supreme was also sufficient evidence for you to rationalize your new-found relief. He was safe, wherever he was.

Returning to the desk, you picked up the pen. Glancing at it with affection, you proceeded to write once more:

Because of the accident that night, I found myself meeting a man who fascinated me instantly. So , you could understand how frustrated I was when I couldn’t even thank him.

You smirked upon those words. Not soon before you continued writing:

But then again, who knew I would have the actual luck to see him again two days later? At a place where I least expected. All thanks to a Bad Customer.

Akin to a Moving Picture, or a Talkie*, that very moment began to project into your memory. All the while your index finger managed to twirl a piece of your hair with nostalgia.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Apparently it was just some low level goon. Well, at least that’s what the Police told Mr.Lloyd…when they took his statement. But I don’t buy it, no. Why would those Federal Agents be there if it was?…”

You said, tying up the white, cotton waist apron over your baby blue waitress uniform.  

“Goodness! I really wouldn’t know what I would have done if I were you, Sweetpea” Cathy, your best friend replied while she followed suite.

Once the hair was fixed, the two of you headed to the kitchen, “Everyone! Look who’s changed her shift!” Cathy cried out, urging the other employees at the Diner to focus on you. There were cheers, bringing out the brightest smile in you. It was official.

Living with the Great Depression which has affected all, you were grateful even for the employment at a Diner in the city. A temp job, as you called it yourself. Until that very morning, you were assigned to the later shift and spent several weeks parted from Cathy. Fortunately, upon your boss’ satisfaction, you were finally offered the shift you always wished for: The morning shift.

You graciously used the first hour that morning for familiarization, which mainly included the customers. And that was indeed the part that fascinated you. For the customers were diverse with each shift. And the mornings were mostly welcomed by blue collar workers.

“Cathy! They’re waiting for the pancakes” 
“Oh! Shoot! I’m on it”

Listening to Cathy’s response in the background, you shook your head with amusement. You watched your friend waltz over to the eagerly waiting booth. But only before you made your way to the corner of the Diner counter.

“Can I help you, Sir?” A well rehearsed phrase exited your painted lips with politeness. A young man was the current owner to the corner seat. “A refill” the blonde haired drawled, indicating his empty, white mug on the counter. “Right away” “Thanks, Sweetheart” he replied, whilst the sound of the black coffee being poured, filled your ears. A group of eyes watched you from another corner. It was certain. And sure enough, your stealthy eyes caught the sight of some men sat across the diner. All sniggering. “Ya know…” the Blondie continued as he leaned forward, “my boys over there…” he indicated the suspicious group, “…they don’t believe me but, I think you’re one fine girl, sweeter than sugar” he said, flashing a flirtatious smile. “Oh, really?” You inquired with a polite chuckle. “Cross my heart, I hope to die” He was handsome, yes. But he was the handsome you never wanted. The type of handsome that could also break your heart. Besides, his attempt of seduction was misdirected, “So…um…” leaning closer, he began to whisper, “Care to help me prove the boys wrong? Like with a date? Or even a kiss? ” He inquired, his suggestive eyebrows being quite evident.

Oh, that fool, you thought. If you were at liberty to throw your head back in laughter, you would without any hesitation. Yet, it would not be appropriate.

“Ah! I’m sorry Sir, but I’m working” you replied.

“Aww come on!” He groaned, to which you shook your head and took a step back.

“Sorry Sir-Ah!” Except he grabbed you tight by the wrist. And displeasure was the mask he wore.

“Hey now, is that the way you treat your regulars here?” He inquired, increasing volume. Confused and very violated, your heart rate began to speed up. You sensed a threat.

“Let go, Sir!” You muttered in desperate politeness. Yet he did not.

“Why?” He sniggered, amidst your struggle to break free, “Whatcha gonna do, sugar?”

“I believe the lady asked you to let go”

That voice. A voice you could identify. A voice that forced you and Blondie to turn heads. Your eyes widened. Dressed smart and completed with his Fedora, the FBI agent from two nights ago stood before you both. Authoritative yet graceful, he sighed:   “Pardon me for intruding, but I know a Regular won’t harass a waitress this way” he said in a casual tone, to which Blondie stood up: 
“Yeah?” He snarled, offended, “How would YOU know about being Regulars, smart ass?” “Cause I am one” The Agent answered, before missing Blondie’s surprise punch, only to twist his arm within seconds.

Cries of pain erupted from the young man’s lips, until he was pulled close by the agent. You watched him whisper some words to Blondie’s ear, all before he finally released him. Confidence was nowhere nearby when the blonde man stashed some cash onto the counter, and stumbled towards his group of boys with fear.

You suddenly heard Cathy’s sigh of relief nearby: 
“Oh, Thank god you’re here, Mr.Purvis” She said to the Agent, “You just saved my friend” she motioned towards you.

Finally you had the liberty to observe him. Tall and lean with sharp facial features, he possessed the handsome that comforted you. The handsome that formed potential in you. The handsome that attracted you. Sitting on the now empty seat, he flashed you a cool smile: “Melvin Purvis” he said, “I believe we haven’t had the pleasure…” It seemed he did remember you. You smiled back. “No, we haven’t…” you replied with softness, as you held up the pot, “Coffee?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And who knew the man that fascinated me, would be you?

I am not ashamed to say, I was over the moon to see you again, Mel. Seeing you for only a few seconds in the hallway, clearly wasn’t enough for me. I was greedy. So greedy I was afraid to admit. But the moment I realized that corner seat in the counter was your usual spot, I knew my greed was not in vain. I was greedy, to get to know someone so badly. So, when you saved me from Blondie, you also saved yourself a spot in my heart. I just didn’t know it at that moment.

But I do remember when I finally did.

When one serves a regular customer long enough, certain facts become known. Be it their usual breakfast order, their favorite beverage, or the guilty pleasure one indulges once in a while. But apart from that, conversation comes into play as well.

I don’t think you knew how happy you made me every time we talked, even while you had your Eggs and Toast. Whatever it was, I enjoyed them all. All topics, from about the mouthy janitor, to the famous FBI cases, which were solved or ongoing. But I was also happy when you also had the time for me, to know about my crazy stories about customers in the late shift, or even just about myself. Which surprised me the most.

You finally became aware of the smile you wore throughout writing. Though you managed to relax your facial muscles, the smile remained at default. Thus, you kept on with your words:

Mel, you made me look forward to work everyday. And that was one huge favor. Waitressing was never this girl’s dream. Another job was. And you know what.

“I know…” you remember saying, as you wiped the Diner counter, “Secretary, A Nice Office…Even my own folks think it’s a silly dream for a girl like me-”

“That doesn’t mean its your truth” Mel, your calm, unfazed reply, those words shook me. You were right. You made me feel braver. You made me want to work harder. You made me feel like anything was possible. And that was when, I finally saw that special spot you had in my heart. Oh Mel, it felt like an earthquake in here. I was affected. I couldn’t even sleep that night. Cause that spot of yours made me realize, I had fallen for you. Fallen in love with you.

Placing your left palm over your chest, it did not take you long to relive that magical feeling whilst you wrote:

Suddenly, I couldn’t look you in the eye anymore. And I’m sorry for that. I may have looked busy with customers for some days, but that was me struggling. I was at a war with myself. A constant battle with my eyes to not care for you more, a battle with my lips to not tell you, how much I pined for you.

But as you remember, I finally did.

And the morning when you did, felt to be a landmark of your bravery.

Upon serving his breakfast, you retreated to the kitchen with haste. The fact you did not even acknowledge Melvin’s usual “Thank you” proved strangeness. Generally, when employees were seen standing at the back entrance of the Diner, one would expect them to be occupied with a personal matter, or even have a smoke break. Except, you simply longed for a break from him.

Seeing Purvis was torture. And that morning felt more torturous than ever. Your desire for him multiplied with every single visit.

Rubbing your forearms to fight off the spring chill, You took a deep breath. What was that you feared? Confessing your feelings? Or the mere possibility of being refused?

“What are you doing? Out here in the cold?” You gasped, looking up to find Melvin standing before you.

“I-” you paused, as Melvin took off his long coat, and slung it over your shoulder with no hesitation. A warmth protected you all the sudden. Was it the coat? Or was it him?

“Are you unwell?” He inquired. You shook your head, not taking too long to finally settle your eyes on his. And there it was: the speeding pulse, the torture, the multiplication of desire. Eyes growing wider with concern upon your speechless look, Melvin shot glances at both directions with stealth: “Is anyone bothering y-”

Only to be intruded by your lips pressed against his.

Oh, Mel! What did you do to me?

With a deep shudder, you kept writing: Why did your lips taste like the sweetest pie in all the world? I’m sorry if my ink turns messy here. It’s just that thinking about it, I just hope my heart won’t burst and bleed. Tasting that sweetness, I was ready to risk it all. Ready to accept the worst fear to come true.

You had a fair point. Especially when his lips remained unmoved throughout your kiss. Which forced you to move back quick, and blush with embarrassment: “I-I’m sorry…” you blurted, struggling with one’s movements as you handed over his coat back and turned to leave. 
“No! please…” Melvin breathed, stopping you with his hand on your shoulder, “I’m sorry…” he stressed, “I suppose I was just caught by surprise” with a chuckle soon after. “Believe me, it wasn’t planned” you chuckled alongside him, relaxing a little. “Although I was hoping…” he began, “If I could take you to dinner one night…” Your eyes widened, but your heart bloomed.

But life was kind enough to gift me a date instead. A date with the best man I know.

“Yes! You can…” you answered immediately, “And please…no need to call me Ma’am anymore, Mr. Purvis” you smiled. To which he smiled back with a hint of mischief, which seemed surprising for the 30 year old Agent:

“Then, there’s no need to call me Mr. Purvis anymore either”

A date that I had always dreamt about. Not with a boy, but with a real gentleman. It had come true. Were you reading my thoughts this entire time?

Bashful giggles erupted from your lips upon writing. It was a date to remember :The fancy restaurant, the fine dining, the stimulating conversation basked in soft jazz and candlelight. Watching and taking in every fine line that adorned his beautiful, statuesque face brought you pride.

Sitting with you, getting lost in our own world, it was no doubt that I was the luckiest woman in the entire restaurant that night.

“I had a wonderful time, Mel. Thank you” Your words were enveloped with warmth and sincerity.

It was late, and Melvin had brought you back home like the gentleman he was. Opening the car door for you, he surprised you with just a smile, no other reply. Which forced you to raise your eyebrows, evidently confused. Could it be that he did not share the exact sentiments as you? Were you not the woman he hoped for by the end of the night? Insecurity began to bubble up within.

“What?” You inquired with a nervous chuckle, “All night you were yapping away, but now suddenly cat got your tongu-”

He gently pushed you against the car. Just so his gracious hands could cup your face, and just so he could plant his lips on yours.

And I was also the luckiest woman in the neighborhood, when you finally kissed me right back.

Sweetness infused with softness, you needed not permission to be fueled with greed at last. For greed finally permitted you to wrap one’s arms around his neck, only to pull him closer. Those lips of his, they had tempted you from the very first moment. And when they finally voluntarily expressed their affection, you were more than ecstatic.

Mel, your kisses were magic. They made me wish if I had all the power in the world to slow down time.

And I felt the very same, when we finally made love that night.

That night, that mere memory. You would be lying if it did not manage to send chills down your spine.

Invitation for a nightcap was your only shameless excuse. For not a single cell of your being, wanted him to leave your sight. Not when he had lit up a flame of desire in you, a few minutes prior. You silently cursed all the passerby’s who forced you both to pull away from the kisses. The kisses that he started by the car. But what could you do? You were surrendered to the laws of love.

Thus, the mere act of turning on the Crosley* Radio, became an involuntary act of seduction. Rudy Vallee’s “If I had a Girl like You*” filtering out from the speakers, gave life to the entire apartment. And it did ever the same to you, tempting you to sway your body from side to side. But your body felt so much vigor, when Melvin gave up on patience, only to hold you by the waist, spin you around just so his hungry lips could taste yours once again.

Melvin kissed you, and you kissed him. Slow, articulate, these lips were making up for every day they did not touch one another. All those days full of remorse.

Thus, began a dance between the two lovers. Heated, passionate. A dance consisting of choreography that had existed within all of mankind. Did not matter if it was carrying you bridal style to the bed, or placing you on to the bed without a sound much louder than a mattress squeak, either way, Melvin’s presence exuded safety.

Pleasure and excitement were in a fiery alliance when you savored shedding every piece of clothing off his torso. Never once did you think seeing many layers would bring you so much arousal. Especially when his eyes had nowhere else to look but at you during. His eyes, they burned with desire. And you would be unfaithful to your honesty if you denied the loins that burned within you as a result. For it was evident how much you longed for him. How the hunger led you to provide him the attention he truly deserved with your touch and kisses.

Dressed, he was smart, authoritative. Undressed, he was god-like. And to hear his soft moans amidst your attention was a gift. A gift that aroused you further. Yet before your eager hands could fondle his hardened shaft, he flipped you with impatience to focus on you instead. His kisses were other-worldly, making sweet contact on your soft, naked skin, creating waves of untold pleasure whenever he peeled off each piece of lingerie. Naked you may have been finally, yet you were more than ecstatic with the new outfit you wore: him. The infusion of soft music, sounds of lovers moans and kisses while the bedsheets rustled, were indeed sweeter than nectar. Tantalizing enough for him to finally enter you. Arousing enough for you to accept him. Resulting in unity, love making, deeming soft as the moonlight that shone into the bedroom. Soft, yet impactful that every second remained carved in your mind fresh, like it was yesterday.

Oh Mel, how did your touch made me weak, but gave me power at the same time? How did you make every second of it worthwhile?

You wrote with a sigh, blushes occupying your cheeks. Not before you cleaned up your ink stained fingers, caused by your thoughts of pure distraction.

Why did you get me addicted to your loving? But most importantly, why were you the perfection I dreamt of all along?

Breathless, you would be lying if it did not take you a while to regain your senses. Re-reading the previous sentence written, you proceeded to give the letter further life: 


After that night, I wanted shout out loud from the rooftops full of happiness, I wanted to tell the entire city, no! The entire world of my blessing: My blessing to have a wonderful man like you, Mel.

The simple truth: that was all that it was. And not long since you and Melvin had gotten together, life was suddenly drizzled with an extra dose of joy. An extra dose of encouragement and hope. Work went better for the both of you. Even Mr. Lloyd managed to re-meet him, but this time with more familiarity and respect. Given his interaction with the Agent, it was evident the the older man had offered his blessing and approval, which meant more to you than anything.

Since then my life was bliss, Mel. With you by my side, I knew I could take on anything.

Except, you drew in a sharp breath with a heavy heart.

All until J Edgar Hoover declared those fateful words to America: War on Crime. John Dillinger.

The heaviest sigh left your pursed lips. For a surge of concern was powerful enough to consume you.

Believe me, Mel. Seeing you get promoted to Special Agent in Charge of the Chicago Field Office, it brought me nothing but joy. Seeing you in the papers, I was the most proud anywhere I went. But with that pride, and with that joy, I was also afraid. How could I not be, when you were assigned to catch Dillinger, Public Enemy No. 1?

How could I not think of the risk you had on your life? So afraid for you that it didn’t strike with me that we didn’t see each other for so long after. 

Though you were out of sighs, your heart remained heavy with the thought. It was true, soon after his men’s lives were affected by Dillinger and his gang, Melvin did not set foot in your apartment nor in your neighborhood. And surprisingly, you did not feel betrayed. Not one bit.

When you phoned me that one time, I could tell in your voice. I could tell the weight you had on your shoulders. The burden, the responsibility, the guilt.

And to me, it didn’t matter I couldn’t see you everyday anymore. It didn’t matter that I had a hard time missing you or thinking about you. Be it at the diner, the streets, the park, the living room and the bedroom. It didn’t matter to me that I had to pretend my life had nothing to do with yours. All I wanted was for this nightmare to end: to stop the unnecessary deaths of innocent lives. All I wanted was for you to be safe. And I knew you could do it all. Without complicating things.

Thus, when someone knocked on your door a few hours ago today, your fear was justified. You remembered standing by the door, arms folded, only to feel your heart beat out of your chest. And when those loud, rapid knocks attacked the wooden door, you could not help but wonder: Could it possibly be one of Dillinger’s men? Another shooter perhaps? Were they aware of Melvin’s connection with you? Were you about to be leverage?

But to your surprise, you opened the door regardless. Clutching your chest, you could only gasp.

But I never thought you’d suddenly come crashing in this afternoon.

For there stood Melvin Purvis, Fedora at hand, heavy panting accompanied.

Never so soon.

“You were not at the Diner” he said in a hoarse tone, still panting. “I-I took a day off” you answered, with wide eyes,“Mel…” you gulped, taking a step forward “What’s wron-” To which he could only reply with rough kisses, slamming the door shut behind him.

And being in his arms again after possibly endless days and nights, you were certain you did not wish to be anywhere else.

It was as if fate urged me to stay home today, just so I wouldn’t miss your hungry kisses. Just so I wouldn’t miss your love. Something I craved for what felt like forever.

Longing translated into desperate kisses, where tongues wrestled in haste. And passionate lovemaking rushed in soon after. The type of passionate, that demanded every item of clothing make quick stops in different parts of the apartment, only to lead a trail to the bed. The type of passionate, that had his eager hands wander over your naked back, before palming your heaving breasts with impatience. All the while you straddled him, with your hips rolling against his. The type of passionate, that tempted you to gaze into his  shining eyes. For they spoke to you, even in silence. How he treasured you, how he savored you, his eyes said it all. And with your responding kiss brimming with moans and emotion, you acknowledged his silent confession, you satisfied his hunger, and accepted his peak of pleasure. All until a new climax was reached together, before collapsing on to the bed with exhaustion.

“Mel…” you panted, sweat further infusing with his, “You still didn’t tell me what’s going on…”

It was only a few minutes later, did Melvin began to speak. Only then were you able to find out about the mission that would happen tonight. The mission to finally catch Dillinger. And as if the floodgates just opened, he kept talking. And all you could do was nod, as he continued to cradle you in his arms.

Little did I know, you came to me in possibly the most fateful day ever.

“You think it will work? The plan?” You inquired, soft. His responsive hum vibrated in his chest. “The source is solid…” he replied, “So…we’re betting on it”

Lifting your head up, you looked at him. Truthfully you could not help but feel sorry. There was a hint of exhaustion in his tone. How far did this man go to make this mission a reality? How many men were sacrificed in the process? Death of many men including Carter Baum, his own partner. Feeling useless, you knew you could only offer him a reassuring soft smile:

“Then it will…” you murmured, placing a chaste kiss on his forehead. His skin seemed magnetic to your lips, causing you to proceed with more kisses. Over his eyebrows, bridge of his nose, and finally his lips, the best place of all. With another greedy peck, you pulled yourself away and sat up. With the afternoon breeze playfully caressing your exposed frame, you were tempted to reach out and grab your silk robe tossed on the edge of the bed, which you did.

“I hope you know I couldn’t risk seeing you, with Dillinger’s men on the loose”

Melvin began. Looking back, you nodded with nonchalance. “Of course…” Wrapping the robe around, your answer was as casual as taking a diner order, “I understand” you added meek, looking down at the knot.

“But…that doesn’t mean I was never here”

You froze. With wide eyes, you looked up at his sitting frame. “What do you mean?” You blurted. Only to gasp, “You-w-were you-?”

Melvin nodded,  “Every night around bedtime, from the street…looking at THAT window…”  he said, indicating the very window in your bedroom. If only you could just tell him how your heart just began to melt after possibly weeks. If only you were capable of an embrace that told every fiber of his being how moved you were by him. Melvin sighed, running his fingers through his hair:  

“I just had to make sure you were safe…” he said, “But today, I…” he paused, “I couldn’t stay away”

“And neither should you…” you replied in an instant, cupping his face, “….you’re only human”  you continued with a sigh, “It’s been too long, Mel” your voice grew softer, “ And I missed you” uttering weakly, you proceeded to press your forehead against his. And like that, you both stayed, indulging in the silence with the most innocent physical contact possible.

“This mission…” Melvin began, his warm breath falling on your face, “If I make it out alive-” “Mel, you WILL make it out aliv-” you breathed, before he placed his fingers over your lips.

“If I make it…I’m yours”

He whispered, forcing you to freeze once again. Overwhelming emotion seemed to have frozen you with disbelief, when his sharp features unveiled the softest smile, “As a man, I want to do what’s right for the people” he said, holding your chin, “ I want do what’s right for my heart. And I wanna do it all with you, by my side, always”

And in the blink of an eye, you left through that door, hours before our lives could possibly change forever.

No wonder you made love to me, as if it was your last.

Sniffing, you placed a loving kiss on the pen. For it was the pen Melvin once gifted you with. The pen he hoped you would use when you finally become a secretary. And it did not take long for you to wipe the tears that streamed down your cheeks in silence. What will happen tonight, at the Biograph Theater will end in either two ways. And all you could do was to pray for one in particular. Pray for the one you desperately needed. With another final sniff, you continued to write, until you found yourself finally finishing off the letter you never imagined yourself writing. You wrote your heart out, which left you no regrets:

Before I end this letter, I want to ask you a question.

Do you remember when I was helping you put your tie back on, minutes before you left?  

When I did, I felt something. Something warm, something nice. And I won’t lie, I enjoyed it. Cause in the end, it gave me the feeling you always gave me from the moment I met you: Hope. But today, that hope was also protected by a layer of love. A strong layer. To be able to put your tie on possibly every day, would be an honor I’d wear like a badge for life.

Mel, you WILL make it out alive. You and your men, you WILL get it done. Because this letter will be waiting for you. Because I will be waiting for you.

Ready to have more hope, ready to do more good, ready to live our truth, by your side, always.

With love,

Yours forever…

——————————————————

Glossary of 1930′s Terms/Slang Bumping Gums* - 1930’s Slang for “Talk about nothing useful” Blues in my Heart* - Jazz song by Chick Webb and his Orchestra recorded in 1931 Goon*- 1930’s Slang for thug or bodyguard Lincoln*- 1930’s Slang for $5 bill Talkies*- 1930’s Slang for Movies Crosley*- A Radio Brand famous in the 1930’s If I had a girl like you*- Jazz song by Rudy Vallee, recorded in 1930

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𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 2: bad was the blood

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 4,376

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) angst, mentions of anxiety, nightmares, murders.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

It had been a week since you and Bucky reunited and ever since that night, you and him were practically inseparable. Your bedroom was next to his and each night, he always came to yours to catch up on things and some nights, your conversation would go so deep that he would find himself waking up in your bed when the sun rises. He’d always leave your bed slowly to go into his room so that he wouldn’t wake you.

Each night he sleeps next to you, his nightmare became less intense. They still haunted him but they were vague, it was as if the faces of his victims become blurry and the echoes become whispers. One night, Bucky came back home from a small mission late and by the time he arrived at the compound, you were already asleep. Bucky knew the passcode to your door so he could let himself in anytime. He typed in those numbers and slowly opened the door and he smiled at the view of you sleeping peacefully. He would watch you sleep all night if he could, but he was exhausted and so were you, so he left you alone to rest.

Beads of sweat rolled down your skin as the cold air sent shivers down your spine. You watched the emotions in Natasha’s eyes vanished, as if her soul left her body and that’s left was the vessel. Sam, Tony and Bruce stood there like statues, waiting for your order. They had one thing in common with Natasha and that was the void of emotion. You felt a sense of pride in turning the Avengers into lifeless soldiers. They were at your mercy, you could command them to destroy the entire world with only a whisper.

Then you felt a cold grip on your arm, “Y/N… Why are you doing this?” Those steel blue eyes held so much pain in them as if he had just been betrayed by the person he trusted the most. “Stop this now! This isn’t you.” Bucky pleaded.

“Stand back soldier, or you are next.”

“No, I won’t let you do this to our friends.”

“Stand back. I will not ask you once again,” you warned him without a hint of uncertainty.

“Stop this, now or I will.” Bucky opposed.

“Very well,” with merely a glare, you activated the soldier you once knew. Years ago in the cold bunker of Hydra, ready to murder with a single order.

“готов подчиниться.”

You watched his blue eyes turned to ice, imitating his infamous name. You smirked and leaned close to his ear, “welcome back, soldier.”

You thrashed your body in your sheets and woke up with a loud scream. You thought you were doing well but the nightmare returned. You were doing what you dreaded again to your friends, the people you considered your family now. You sat up in your bed and sobbed until you heard Bucky opened your door with a concerned gaze. “Y/N, are you okay…?” He didn’t hesitate in running to you and sat next to you on your bed.

“I didn’t mean to, I- I never meant to hurt anyone…” You sobbed against Bucky’s chest as he wrapped his arm around you. His flesh arm held your head close to where his heart was beating and he tried to calm you down by stroking your hair and shushed you. He didn't know what you meant by that and he had many questions to ask but he understood better than anyone that in this state, integrating you would only cause more damage, so he let you cry it all out and comfort you in every way he could.

“It’s okay, y/n. I’m here, it’s going to be okay.”

You cried as you laid on Bucky’s chest until exhaustion took you over. You didn’t remember when you both began to drift away but as Bucky was sleeping, he saw visions of you doing heinous things to people, innocent souls who were held against their wills. He heard their screams and their pleas, but they weren’t looking at him, they were looking at… Her. Bucky had never seen her gaze so cold. Then he was transported into another scene… The place where HYDRA used to store him. It was one of the Russian Armed Forces, Vasily Karpov who was in charge of him during his Winter Soldier years.

Bucky remembered every second he spent trapped in the chair as he was given his orders. But this time, it was her strapped on that chair, screaming in agony. He watched him spelling out the activation words, they were different than his but just as effective. Bucky tried to reach her out, wanting to punch all those men and get her out of there but somehow his feet were stuck in place.

As the last word was uttered, he watched the woman he had slowly fallen in love with disappeared, replaced by a soulless soldier who was ready to kill anything that stood in her way. Bucky woke up to faint echoes of his name being called, “Bucky…” And slowly, he began to come back to life, and he saw her face, still the woman he knew, not the soldier in his dream, looming over him. “Did you see it?”

Bucky instantly sat up as he stared at her, “you were one of the winter soldiers. You were there.”

You nodded, “I was… They never referred to me as the winter soldier, however, I was treated just the same as you were. I had the same purpose as you.”

“How come you never told me?” His gaze was soft, he didn’t sound disappointed or betrayed, he just sounded… Worried.

“I couldn’t… I just didn’t know where to begin. I didn’t want to ruin what we had so I figured, if I left you first, I wouldn’t have to hurt you too and I was afraid that if you found out, you’d never look at me the same.”

“Sweetheart, we are both haunted by the same things. I’d never hate you for what you did. Don’t you think I didn’t have the same fears before? We’ll get through this together, I promise.” He held your face in his hands, the contrast of temperature in both of his hands was somehow soothing you, reminding you that he was once just as peccable as you were.

“But I don’t trust myself, Bucky. Someone could find the book and if they say the words, I could hurt people again… I could hurt you too. And I don’t know if I would ever come back.”

“I won’t let that happen, I promise you. I couldn’t trust my own mind too until I went to Wakanda and they fixed me. They removed the winter soldier program and now I’m free.”

“Is that… Possible?”

“Yes, I’ll explain everything in the morning but, right now, we need to rest.”

“Okay…” you were feeling rather drowsy, not only physically but emotionally too. It was never easy to unravel such shame and remorse.

Bucky laid back and opened his arm for you to sneak under it. You placed your head on his chest, feeling safe and sound being so close to him. Bucky’s fingers tangled with your hair as he kissed your forehead. “Promise you’ll be here when I wake up?”

“I promise,” he whispered.

The sound of his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

-

The next morning, Bucky and you had breakfast together. It was early, the dawn had just begun, and some of the Avengers were out for a run or still asleep. You and Bucky had some alone time in the kitchen and you were thankful for the brief moment of solitude.

“So, what I said last night…” Bucky initiated the conversation as he put his coffee mug on the table. “I really think our best option is to go to Wakanda, y/n. They’ve got the best medical equipment, the people are extremely smart, they’ll take care of you. Just like they took care of me.”

“What makes you think they want to treat me, Buck? I mean, they took you in because the king and Steve made an agreement, but they have no idea who I am and even if they do, they don’t owe me anything.”

“The Wakandans may be resourceful and independent, but they are generous people too. I’ll call Ayo and sort everything out. They can spare me a few more favours.”

“If they agree to treat me, I only wanna go if you go too. I don’t wanna be alone in a country I’ve never been to before, Buck. I’m not familiar with their culture, I don’t speak their language, I don’t wanna fuck it up, you know?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there with you every step of the way. I promise.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Because you’re the only good thing that happened to me in the past seventy years.”

You never believed in butterflies, but you swore in that moment, the whole damn zoo went nuts. Bucky had a way to make you feel loved and cherished, and you were falling fast. You just hoped that he’d be there to catch you.

The sincerity in his eyes made you smile like you never had before. Looking back, the only times you had ever genuinely smiled was because of Bucky. His texts, his face, his touches, they were your newfound grace. Bucky told you that you were the only good thing that happened to him in the past seventy years, but so was he to you. Was it possible for two fucked up people who had done heinous things to find such love? You could only hope that nothing would come in the way of that.

-

Wakanda was a breath of fresh air. Figuratively and literally. You loved New York, no matter what, it would always be your home. However, Wakanda could definitely give New York a run for its money. The air was free out of pollutions from vehicles, everywhere you look, the landscape was filled with scenic greenery and not to mention the futuristic architectures yet deeply rooted in their culture. The people were welcoming and kind, yet they were not to be crossed over.

When you and Bucky first landed, the king himself, T’Challa with Okoye and Ayo by his sides welcomed you. It was intimidating to be in their presence, yet you were fascinated by how graceful they were. You were hoping that your anxiety wouldn’t make you do something dumb or stupid in front of them so as soon as you were out of the quinjet that Sam was flying, you bowed in front of the king. “We don’t do that here…” T’Challa declared.

You swore you could pass out from embarrassment. Bucky chuckled when you straightened your pose. T’Challa shook hands with Bucky like they were old friends, so did he with Sam. Bucky had been communicating with Ayo regarding your visit today so he didn’t have to explain why you were there anymore. They led you to Shuri’s lab where the miracle occurs.

When she saw you, she was nothing like you expected. She was younger than you but she seemed so ahead of you. She seemed so ahead of everyone in the room. She was bright and had an effervescent personality. The lab was unlike anything you’d ever seen, even Tony’s lab in the compound wasn’t as swanky as this one. Shuri’s lab had equipment you didn't even know existed.

She greeted you both, “welcome back Sergeant Barnes, and who’s your girlfriend?” her bluntness caught you off guard.

“Princess, this is y/n and y/n this is Princess Shuri. King T’challa’s younger sister. She was the one who fixed me eight years ago.”

“Hi Princess, it’s an honour.” You shook her hands.

“Welcome. Now let’s get you comfortable so we can take a look inside your brain, yeah?”

Now here you were, sitting in front of a burning yule log, the fire illuminated your face in the dead of the night. Ayo was standing across you, watching you with her spear ready but she trusted you, regardless. Bucky sat next to you, close enough to reassure you that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you or anyone.

“It’s gonna work, y/n. I promise.”

“What if it doesn’t? How will you bring me back?”

“Shuri would know what to do. I was sceptical of my own mind too at first, but I turned out fine. Better, even. You’re in good hands.”

“If she comes back, and you can’t stop her, promise me you’ll put her out, even if it kills me.”

“Y/N…” He looked wounded, how could he possibly do such a thing to the woman he loved?

“James! I can’t hurt anyone else anymore, and worse, if I hurt you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

He nodded, though his heart was saying otherwise. “Okay, I promise.”

The tears in your eyes crawled down your cheeks and he held you close in the hut you’d been sharing with him. He kissed your hair like he would when he comforted you. The hut was simple and far away from the modern life you were used to in the compound or in New York, but you loved the tranquillity and simplicity of it. Some nights where Bucky and you would lie together, warming each other up, wearing nothing but customary clothes, you’d quietly think, you could get used to this. The simple life, with Bucky. Just you and him, and the rest of the world fade into the background. You wondered, could you still have it? That life? Or was it just wishful thinking? Right now, you could only hope that you’d be released from the demons of your past, that still lived in your head.

“I’ll be here, doll.” Bucky whispered and held your hand until the very last second.

“I won’t let you hurt anyone, Y/N. We successfully removed the winter soldier programs from James’ mind like rotten fur, you have nothing to worry.”

You nodded, “okay Ayo… I’m ready.”

You inhaled and stared at your own feet. The soil seemed like a great distraction at that moment. You wished you could hold Bucky’s hand but you didn’t want to look like a scared little baby. Then you heard it, Ayo’s assured voice spelling out the first codeword and the tension in your body rose. You trembled from the cold air, preparing yourself for the worst to happen as she uttered the next one. With each word, the fear in your veins amplified, thinking that any second now you were going to be a passenger in your own body and the demon that lived within you was going to take over.

But as Ayo uttered the last word, you were still there. You remembered your name, you remember where you were, you remembered the people around you and why you were there. You didn’t feel paralyzed, but rather alive. Freed from chains. You couldn’t believe it, you were never one to believe in miracles but that night, you did.

“You’re free, y/n.” Ayo smile like a proud mother.

“I’m free…” You repeated her words as if you were trying to convince yourself that it’s true.

She nodded, and you looked at Bucky who couldn’t hold himself back from wrapping his arms around you as he kissed your temple. “Oh, baby….” You could hear the genuine happiness in his voice and the shape of his lips forming a smile against you.

“You are both free,” Ayo declared.

You looked into his blue eyes that were gleaming with joy and love for only you. In that moment, you wished you had your phone with you so you could capture the priceless look on his face. You knew he was happy for you, however, you felt like you were celebrating his happiness instead. Maybe that’s what true love really is, celebrating each other’s happiness.

He grabbed your face and kissed you so deeply, taking your breath away. You could taste the saltiness of your tears cascaded down to your lips, but it was okay because you could feel Bucky’s soft lips against yours too and it was all you needed.

You held hands with Bucky, walking down to your shared hut, never wanting to untangle yourself from each other. Each night in Wakanda was an entire voyage itself. The scintillating stars in the sky and the quietness was paradise. You could see why Bucky adored Wakanda so much, everything about this country is perfect.

You laid on Bucky’s chest, playing with his dog tag. Even while sleeping, he never took it off. “I can’t believe I’m finally free…” you whispered.

Bucky looked down at you, “believe it doll, you deserve it.”

You sat up and leaned on your elbow, looking at him, “Thank you for getting me here and for being with me through it all. You’re amazing, Bucky.”

“No, doll, that is you. You’re one of the strongest people I know and I admire that.” Bucky sat up and he stared into your eyes as he strokes your cheek with his thumb.

In that moment, there was a sudden urge to have him in a way you hadn’t had. You didn’t care about anything else, you just needed to feel every inch of him, and you needed him to feel every inch of you. You slammed your lips onto his, taking Bucky by surprise yet he leaned into it. Bucky grabbed your arse, pushing your body closer to him, despite the nonexistent gap between you. Bucky licked your bottom lip, and you took his cue as parting them, allowing his tongue to take over your mouth.

You stopped for a second to gasp for air, and you closed your eyes, letting Bucky take the wheel. Bucky moved his flesh hand to your hair, holding a fistful of it to your face in place. Then when he felt like he needed more, Bucky moved his hands to your thighs, lifting you onto his thighs, then he shifted his body around so that he was on top of you and you were lying on the pillow.

Bucky was still kissing you until he started moving his kisses down to your chin, then to your jaw then to your neck, the spot that he knew would elicit a sound of you. Bucky might’ve been over a hundred years old and he hadn’t been intimate with anyone since 1945 but he still remembered how he used to make a woman scream for his name and he wasn’t going to waste that talent.

Bucky lifted the hem of the tank top you were sleeping in and you raised your hands to make it easier for him to get rid of it. This was the first time Bucky had seen you naked, you were always sleeping in clothes next to him, whether it’s a tank top and super short shorts, you were always covered. But now, you were all bare and you were slightly nervous because you hadn’t let anyone see you like this since you were captured by HYDRA.

Chills ran down your spine from the crisp air, but it was also because of the way Bucky was ogling you. You could see how dilated his pupils are, overshadowing the blue. “You’re fucking gorgeous,” he breathed.

Bucky continued his lecherous act, kissing down your chest then to your right nipple, swirling his tongue around like a lollipop while his other hand toyed with your left breast. You arched your back as you shut your eyes, letting him do whatever he wanted to you. You whimpered, needing more of him. “Bucky…”

He wanted to taste more of you so he trailed kisses down your stomach, waking up the butterflies inside until he was breathing to your core. Even in the darkness, he could see how your wetness glistens. He wrapped his arms in each of your thighs and spread them apart for him to dive in. He could tell you were feeling a little shy but he made sure to make you feel otherwise by kissing the insides of your thighs, telling you, “I bet you taste real sweet, darling…”

His words made you open your eyes and looked down at him, between your things. He smirked mischievously at your reaction. Then he dipped into your core, licking a stripe up to your clit, making you moan out his name. The way his stubble burnt your delicate flesh made you want to close your thighs however, Bucky held them firmly in place. He savoured every drop, devouring you like a famished man. Your thighs trembled around him and you bit your lip trying to surpass the moans. The slurping sounds that he made were sinful.

Then he shoved two of his fingers inside you, scissoring you open for him. You gasped, the intrusion shocked you, causing you to open your eyes and look down at his act. “Oh God, Buck, I’m fucking close…”

He dipped down again, savouring more juices flowing out of you. “Shh, I know doll, let go. I got you.” He continued his assault on your cunt until you felt the bubble in your belly exploded, making you see stars. You had forgotten the pleasure of chasing your orgasm until Bucky reminded you. Bucky swallowed every drop you released, not wanting to waste anything. He stayed there until you had nothing more to give.

Bucky rose from between your thighs, kissing you passionately and you could taste yourself on his tongue. It was so fucking debauched yet you fucking loved it. You wrap your arms around his neck and run your hands through his hair, messing it up and he looked so fucking sexy.

“I want you Bucky, please fill me up,” you pleaded in between makeout.

“You want this doll? You want me?” He knew what you desired, he just wanted to make sure one last time before you go all the way so you wouldn’t regret it in the morning.“

“Yes Bucky, I want all of you… Only you.”

“I got you, sweetheart.” Bucky grabbed your hands and put them above your head. He pulled back to take off his pants, freeing his cock out of his boxer. To say Bucky was packing light would be a massive lie. He was long and thick, not to mention he was painfully hard. You really didn’t expect it. You had thought about it and you guessed he was more on the lengthy side yet, he seemed to surprise you more and more every time.

Bucky saw the way you stared at it and he smirked at your reaction. “Like what you see, doll?” He stroked the shaft, getting it ready to plunge into you.

You bit your lip as your chest heaved at the licentious scene, “can I taste it?”

Bucky scoffed and shook his head while still stroking himself, “not tonight, doll. But I’ll hold your word.” He crawled back up to your body and you spread your legs apart to make room for him, you maintained eye contact as he held both of your hands that were still above your head. You could feel the nudge of the tip of his cock on your bud, making your toes curl, “are you ready?” he asked.

“Yes…” you practically whined. “Please, take me.”

Without a second thought, Bucky pushed himself inside you, slowly yet you could feel every inch of him stretching your walls open and you threw your head back, the friction caused your head to spin. You cried out his name as you tightened your grip on his hands, needing to hold onto something.

Bucky grunted when he was fully inside and he took a moment to hide his face in your neck, “ah, fucking hell, doll. You feel amazing.”

“Move Bucky, please…” you pleaded after you adjusted to him being inside you.

Bucky began to move slowly, started with shallow thrusts, pulling back a bit then pushed it back inside. When you didn’t show any signs of resistance, he began to pick up the pace and it made your moans grow louder. “Oh, fuck…” you cursed due to the sensation. “Faster, Buck…”

Your wish is Bucky’s command, he did as you asked and he was enjoying more and more of it. You lifted your legs higher on his waist, locking them there for dear life. You wailed as his cock impaled you, forgetting that there were probably kids sleeping around your hut but you were too clouded with pleasure to worry about that. The onslaught caused you to clench around him and your coil tightened. Knowing you won’t last much longer, Bucky detached his flesh hand from yours and moved it down to your clit, rubbing it in circles over and over again and you plummeted into bliss, electricity ran through your veins as you hit your peak, releasing yourself all over him.

Bucky kept thrusting, seeing the way your face contorted in satisfaction because of him and how your walls tightened around him threw him off the edge, causing him to reach his own orgasm. He spilt himself inside you, finishing with shallow thrusts until every drop was stored. “Ah, fuck…” He groaned.

Bucky laid on top of you while still staying inside you. You loved the intimacy of being this close to him, honestly, you wouldn’t mind staying in this position until dawn. Both of you tried to gain control over your breathing as you were completely spent. Once he regained composure, he pulled himself out of you and laid next to you.

“That was…”

“Fucking amazing? Yeah…” Bucky completed that sentence as he held you in his arms and kissed your forehead.

“You were amazing, doll.” He continued.

“I haven’t had sex since… Well, since as long as I can remember.”

“Me too, doll. You are my first since everything that happened.”

“You are mine, too.”

For a few seconds, you just stared at each other lovingly with satisfaction plastered all over your faces. You relished in each others’ warmth, despite the hut reeking of sweat and smell of sex, you found comfort in each other, putting both of you to sleep.

tags; @ohmickeyhenry @suitofvibraniumarmor @themaddies-obx @beminetokeep @bluemoon-icecream-blog @bluemoon-icecream @harprs @thefridgeismybestie @abitofeverythingg @wolfonthemoonwatchestvshows @julimelodi @bookscoffeandotherstuff @tanyaherondale @artisancowbells @ferxaniti @intothesoul @hallecarey1 @buckybarnesplumwhore @thefallenbibliophilequote @andiyholly @emizla @capxwinter @jevans2 @alwaysreadingimagineschick @swtltlmrvlgrl @extremelyblackandwhite

[jinxfirebolt18902]

What are we, then? - JJ Imagine

A/N: I fell hard into a new obsession: JJ Maybanks yes it is. So, I badly wanted to write something but had literally no ideas so I took this prompt list and made a friend choose 2 random numbers. They picked: 9. “we’re not just friends and you know it”

27. “what do you mean maybe? that was a yes or no question”

So yeah. Enjoy some angst.

Words: 2.249

Pairing: JJ x female!reader

—Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me! —JJ shouted after her.

—Watch me, asshole. —she stopped her steps and half turned her body just to give him the middle finger. Her facial expression showed the rage she felt.

Angry outbursts were pretty common between them. They’d known each other since kindergarten, a couple of years before John B came to the picture. So, their relationship was stronger, deeper. They knew each other to the bones. The gang was used to their loud yet harmless fights. JJ was short-tempered, and so was she. At the end, the fact that they shouted their opinions at each other at the moment they felt it was healthier considering they always reconciled half an hour later. 

But this time something was different. An event that had happened between them a few days earlier had changed it everything, and nothing would ever be the same. Such event was unknown by the others, and maybe that’s why they were all so confused.

The thing is, for the first time, neither of them were spitting their feelings out. And oh boy it did cause a lot of misunderstandings.

She and JJ decided to shelter from Agatha at John B’s place. It was no news JJ tried to avoid his house as much as possible. She always convinced her parents of letting her go with them as JJ was considered another son and spent a lot of time at hers, and they also wanted their daughter to be a good friend to John B after his dad went missing. Once her throat burned due to her shouting at John B to get his ass out of the ocean in the middle of a hurricane she gave up and waited for them to come back. Luckily JJ found a little sense within his logic and convinced John B of getting out of the water as the storm was way too heavy.

At the Chateau, they cooked some noodles and ate between anecdotes and candles due to the lack of power. Around 3 in the morning Agatha was still blowing, a few cans of beer empty were around the coffee table, she and JJ were sprawled on the sofa bed and John B asleep in his bedroom. The pair was listening to I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing from her phone as they heard the wind and thunder outside. They’d smoked a blunt and were then absorbed in the flame of the candle in front of them.

Her pupils were dilated and she couldn’t feel his eyes on her. Or at least that’s what he thought.

—Staring is rude dude… —She voiced out loud, but softly, in a sleepy state.

He let out a short laugh and then directed his sight to the candle. —You’re so mean to me.

Now it was her turn to laugh. —Yeah, so?

He gently pushed her arm and then let his head fall on her shoulder, his blonde locks tickling her skin. She rested her head on his and closed her eyes but a moment later he looked up and set his eyes on her face, more serious this time. Her eyes locked with his.

—What? —she said in a whisper.

But he was at a loss of words, which didn’t happen often. They just got in a trance where a lot of emotions were in each pair of eyes with a classic love song in the back. At a certain moment his gaze moved down to her lips and his breath stuck in his throat. JJ was never a shy one when it came to girls. His ego, not confidence, always led situations smoothly. But for the first time in his life, he had no clue what he was doing. It’s not like they hadn’t shared alone moments like this before, they always had. The amount of trust between them had no comparison. They were totally sincere with each other, since they’d met there was not a thing they didn’t know about each other. 

JJ leaned in and stopped closing the distance just when there were 2 millimeters left to create contact. His blue orbits checked for permission with hers first. She didn’t move at all. He took that as a green light and collided his mouth with hers.

The kiss was soft, and meaningful. Yes, they had a couple of beers running through their veins, and yes also a little of weed into their systems yet they felt like time stopped. It was like the Universe was created for this and only this moment. They felt everything around them vanished. It felt right, just like when you fit the last piece of the puzzle.

The sound of a lightning striking near their location pulled them apart. They shared one more look though this one was loaded with a bit of embarrassment. The moment got kinda awkward and they dealt with it by pretending what happened did not actually happen. She turned around and he cuddled her like they always did.

The next morning John B woke up first, walking from his bedroom to the porch, catching the pair of friends peacefully sleeping in each other’s arms. He ruffled JJ’s hair asking him if he’d been outside yet only earning a groan as a response. Hours later she woke up and went home without talking to her best friend about the intimate moment they’d shared. 

A few days later they threw the kegger, there happened strike one. JJ eventually disappeared with a smokin’ hot tourist, which did not go unnoticed by her. She’d seen JJ go from a clumsy kiddo to the sex symbol boy, she’d been there through the beginning to the end of his puberty, she knew better than even bother by his multiple random hookups. Still, after the intense look he had given her before kissing her had left her somewhat overwhelmed. And the fact that they had shared such a passionate moment together days ago made her actually uncomfortable at witnessing JJ get it with some other girl. This was brand new for her, literally she had never been jealous of the blonde. Oh and, one more time, feelings were bottled up.

Strike two took place at The Wreck when the group was in for a fast food meal. They’d gone inside towards their usual table while Kie went to the kitchen. The boys were just sitting when she was approached by Tom, a pogue, with a “Hey, how have you been?” to which she replied with a genuine smile. The boy had had a crush on her since middle school. He was kinda cute, light brown hair, green eyes, a couple of freckles under his eyes and on his nose. And he was nice, a good guy really. Her mom always wanted them to date but she didn’t find the chemistry reciprocated. And JJ had secretly been relieved by that. Not because he wanted her romantically or anything like that but because he dreaded the time she’d got a boyfriend and stopped hanging out with him. Tom asked her to go surfing with him the next day and she agreed, partly because she hadn’t surfed in weeks, and partly because she had bottled her jealousy at the kegger and kind of wanted to hit it back to JJ, as she was completely aware of how JJ felt towards Tom. Through the corner of her eye she caught JJ’s irritable gesture when she accepted the invitation.

A week after the secret kiss, the gang was at John B’s hanging out. By now, the tension between the two was clear to everyone, and their friends knew an explosion was coming soon. They weren’t teasing the hell out of each other as they usually did. They weren’t sitting next to each other in the boat as they usually did. And they also were hitting each other every chance they got, like when she had smacked his head from behind in the afternoon that same day when they were at the beach and the blonde was flirting with a girl, ruining their moment. Or when she was going to the fridge to seek for a beer can and he was coming out of it and shove his elbow into her arm, earning a gasp and a scowl.

—Yo! What is your problem dude? —her voice denoted she was at the edge which only pleased the blonde even more making him smile.

Kie and John B shared a look as Pope sighed resignedly foreseeing what was coming.

—Maybe the fact that you ruined my moment today.

She scoffed and walked past him rolling her eyes. —Yeah, sure. Cause you have so much trouble slutting around with everything that walks.

—Uhhh, excuse me. Do you have a problem with it? 

Their friends sighed and walked out to the porch in order to give them space and to be honest, they were not in the mood to witness another of their fights so they rather stargaze outside while the two sorted it out.

—Oh no, be my guest bro. I’m just sayin’ why do you call me out on “ruining your moment” when you can have “your moments” whenever you want.

He smiled sarcastically and looked down at the floor before lifting up his gaze to her. —You’ve been a pain in the ass the whole week, you are the one with a problem obviously.

—I am not. I’ve been the pain in the ass? Are you sure? Cause someone else comes to my mind. —she rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly as she let herself fall on the couch and took a sip of her drink.

—You’re unbelievable.—Did you mean it?

He looked at her in confusion. —What?

—You know what. Did you mean it?

He shrugged his shoulders and looked down to hide the light blush of his cheeks. —Maybe.

Strike three, you’re out.

—Maybe? What do you mean maybe? That was a yes or no question.

—I-I don’t know —his hand went to grab his hair. —Maybe.

—Forget it. —she stood up and he freaked out.

—What? Are you in your period or something?

That’s when she stormed off the Chateau fuming.

The sound of the slammed door got the other three’s attention, turning their heads to look at the person walking away.

—Don’t you fucking dare walk away from me! —JJ shouted after her.

—Watch me, asshole. —she stopped her steps and half turned her body just to give him the middle finger. Her facial expression showed the rage she felt.

After a few minutes John B, Pope and Kiara all got up and went inside to find JJ standing in the middle of the room with a hand grabbing his hair and with the other holding a beer, looking down at an invisible point on the floor.

—What did you do? —Kie asked him with furrowed eyebrows.

JJ grimaced and sighed. —I might have said the period line… —Kie let her head fall backwards and took a deep breath. —Of course you did…

—That’s just a dick move. Anyway, what is going on between you two? You’ve been annoying all week. —John B voiced.

But he only closed his eyes and breathed out heavily.

Hours later the surfer skated all the way to her house. He threw some rocks at her window to wake her but after a few minutes nothing happened, then he noticed a shadow on the roof, next to one of the windows of the big house. He climbed up and jumped from the tree to the roof, a few feet away from her. She was hugging her knees and staring right ahead with her chin resting on her arms. There were no signs of remaining anger, just plain tiredness, and a touch of sadness. He caught that in her eyes, he knew her so well, and it made his heart sunk to know he had caused it. He cleared his throat and dried his palms on his shorts. He felt nervous and it caused his hands to sweat.

—I’m sorry.

She blinked slowly but kept her gaze set ahead. He felt ashamed by his behaviour.

—We’re not just friends and you know it. —now he did get her attention.

She just smiled and rolled her eyes changing her pose, resting her palms on the roof and leaning her core weight on them.

—What are we exactly, then..? —she was teasing him and he smiled sweetly. He nudged her and they both laughed. A second later he looked down and bit his lip deep in thought. She turned her head to look at him.

—You’re everything to me. —he said quietly, still not daring to lift his sight. —I never want to lose you. —he said with an expression of pain on his beautiful face. She furrowed her brows and hugged him. —You never will, idiot. Have I ever given up on you? —she whispered near his cheek due to the hug. His eyes filled with forbidden tears. He nodded no with his head as he didn't trust his voice. Her smile grew wider and she kissed his cheek softly. —See? I’m always there with you. Every day, every week, every year. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. —he half laughed half sobbed and immediately cleaned the tears forcefully with the back of his hand. She held him tighter and he put his head on her.

—So, I guess the answer is yes, I meant it. 

[discoscoob]

Kiss in the Kitchen | Loki x Female Reader

Loki (Marvel) x Doctor Who

Three days have passed since Loki started avoiding you and you are presented with an opportunity to talk to him however it quickly escalates into an argument.

Part Four | Part Six | Chapter Index

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: angst and fluff

Read on AO3

You were sat alone at the kitchen table, on the TARDIS, digging into a bowl of noodles. A few days ago you had found some packs of them in one of the cupboards and at first you didn’t know what they were, but you could tell that they definitely weren’t from earth. After checking with the Doctor he assured you that they were safe for human consumption, as was everything else he kept stocked in the TARDIS kitchen.

Donna and the Doctor were currently visiting a leisure palace on a planet called Midnight, but you had foregone the trip in the hopes that Loki would come out of hiding so that you could finally talk to him.

Three days had passed since your trip to The Dark Ages, and you hadn’t seen Loki at all since. He had harboured himself away in the TARDIS and due to its infinite size, you were beginning to worry over the possibility that he might have actually gotten lost, but that concern quickly vanished when you heard footsteps approaching the kitchen.

Your heart rate spiked and you sat up straight. You suddenly started feeling nervous, this was going to be the first time you saw Loki in days, you were finally presented with an opportunity to talk to him, you didn’t want to mess it up.

You rushed to wipe the back of your hand over your mouth and chin, incase there was anything left on your face from the noodles and you straightened out your hair and clothes, hoping that you at least looked some what presentable.

As soon as Loki turned into the kitchen, he immediately halted when he saw you. You noticed that today he was dressed similarly to how he had during your first night on the TARDIS, abandoning his pristine fitted suits for a more casual look, consisting of dark jeans and a hoodie. You offered him a kind smile with the hope that it would encourage him to stay, but instead he swiftly turned on his heel already beginning to storm off somewhere else.

“Damn it, Loki! You can’t avoid me forever.” You lost your patience and your chair had screeched against the floor as you abruptly stood up.

Loki had paused at your outburst, his back still turned to you. Slowly he looked at you from over his shoulder with his head tilted slightly to the side, it was a subtle thing which made him look all the more intimidating.

“Can’t I?” Loki challenged as he turned to completely face you. “You really think your mortal existence is that unavoidable?”

His voice was harsh and distant, directed towards you it felt like being shoved into a pool of ice cold water, your whole body stiffened as you literally felt your blood rushing quicker through your veins from the rapid rate of your heartbeat while unpleasant shivers ran down your spine, but you didn’t let it show. You hardened your exterior, squaring your shoulders and narrowing your eyes.

“If you really want to avoid me, why don’t you just leave? Because the way I recall it, you wouldn’t even be here to avoid me if I hadn’t convinced the Doctor to let you stay!” You began to raise your voice, you weren’t shouting but your tone was teetering on a very fine edge, as you clenched your fists by your side.

By now your chest was visibly rising and falling with all the pent up nerves and frustration that were surging heat through your blood stream.

Loki was momentarily caught of guard by your outburst, but he was a master at disguising his emotions, so all you saw was his eyes darken as he took a menacing step towards you.

“I can’t believe I was gullible enough to believe that you might have actually been different, that I might have found someone who genuinely cared about me, but you don’t even try to hide the fact that you’re ashamed of me. And I’m expected to tolerate it because I should just be grateful for the fact that you found it in your heart to save someone like me in the first place. Well I never asked you or anyone to save me!” Loki finally raised his voice and you flinched. “I never asked Odin to take me from Jotunheim. I never asked Thanos to give me an army and a kingdom to rule and I never asked you to convince the Doctor to let me stay!” Loki’s voice rivalled yours and the callous tone felt like a knife straight through your chest.

You had backed yourself away behind the kitchen table, putting it between you and Loki as he had closed the distance between you, as if it would serve you any form of protection.

“Ashamed...” You barely managed to repeat the word in a whisper. “When have I ever given you the impression that I am ashamed of you?”

“Evidently you don’t hide it as well as you think you do. You couldn’t even bare to be seen holding my hand in front of your auntie and the Doctor.” Your lips parted in realisation and your anger began to dilute with regret, you were about to explain to Loki that you hadn’t let go of his hand because you were ashamed of him, but he continued his rant before you got the chance. “Yet you had no qualms about holding hands with that glorified plagiarist in front of the entire theatre.”

At his words you quickly grew frustrated again and your intentions of explaining yourself to him were quickly forgotten.

“He took my hand what was I supposed to do? Snatch it away just to please you? And what do you even mean by ‘glorified plagiarist’ I thought you liked him?”

“Surely you noticed the amount of times he stole the Doctors words, I doubt that man ever had an original idea in his life.” Loki’s eyes looked off beyond you as he voiced his suspicion, before they focused right back on you and pinned you to your spot. “And what about when he tried to kiss you? Couldn’t snatch yourself away then either?”

Speechlessly your jaw fell slack as you brought your hand up to push your hair back from your face and let your gaze fall to the surface of the kitchen table.

“I can’t believe this.” You muttered to yourself before you dropped both your palms to the table and leaned forward to look Loki dead in the eye. “I already told you I wasn’t interested in him. He approached me because he saw I was worried. Worried about you. He asked me what was wrong, I thought he was going to listen to me. As soon as he leaned in to kiss me I put my hands on his chest to push him away because I want you, not him.”

Loki paused as he considered your words, his eyes cast downwards to follow his finger as he ran it back and forth over the top of one of the dining chairs.

“You want me but you would rather no one know about it.” Loki quietly spoke, still watching his own hand.

“No... God, no.” You gently but firmly told him as you made your way around the kitchen table towards him.

You grasped Loki by his elbows to turn him to face you, he allowed you to move him without resistance, but he still hid his eyes from you with his head lowered. You ran your hands down both his forearms until your fingers intertwined with his and then you brought your hands up between your chests. He kept his arms and fingers limp, but apart from that he didn’t object.

“I didn’t let go of your hand because I am ashamed of being with you, but we hadn’t even properly discussed our situation yet and I wasn’t ready to be bombarded with questions from my auntie, you know what she’s like, and especially in that situation it just wouldn’t have been practical.” You explained to him honestly.

“Wh... why would we need to discuss our  ‘situation?’ We kissed, doesn’t that say enough in itself already?” Loki finally looked at you with confusion written in his eyes.

“don’t you... on Asgard don’t you discuss with your partner whether or not you’re, like... in an actual relationship?” You hesitantly asked Loki, as you struggled to find the right way to phrase the question.

“Well, we just simply would not be intimate with someone who we didn’t wish to be in a relationship with.” Loki explained, his tone balancing between ‘shouldn’t this be obvious?’ and ‘am I crazy for thinking this should be normal?’

After hearing that, the weight of the situation suddenly crashed down on you. Loki believed he witnessed you almost kiss Shakespeare, the morning after you and he had shared a kiss which to him confirmed that you were together. This meant that not only did he believe you were ashamed of him, he also believed you immediately betrayed him.

“Oh, Loki,” you whispered regretfully. “I- I didn’t realise. On Earth, it isn’t uncommon for people to kiss or even have sex with each other and not be official.”

“Then how do people know whether or not they are, as you call it, ‘official?’” Loki asked, looking completely perplexed by these customs, you had to admit they were confusing and only caused complications, the way of Asgard sounded much simpler.

“They usually just discuss it and come to an agreement.” You shrugged.

Loki slipped his fingers out of yours and for a second you felt your chest begin to cave, but when he pulled out the dining chair in front of him and sat down at the kitchen table, your brows knitted together with confusion. Silently, Loki gestured to the chair opposite him with his right hand, offering you to sit, hesitantly and with a questioning look you lowered yourself into the dining chair.

Once you were sat opposite him, Loki reached his hands across the kitchen table to hold yours in his own.

“I realise that these past few days I have behaved like a fool, I should have allowed you the chance to explain sooner instead of jumping to conclusions and I hope that you can forgive me.” Loki sincerely apologised.

“Loki, I already have,” you assured him. “Just please promise that in the future you’ll let me talk to you instead of avoiding me.”

“I swear it.” He promised. “And if... as you say, we have a future, may I request that we be ‘official?’” Loki proposed and you were endeared by how formal he was about it, you couldn’t hold back your smile.

“I’d love nothing more.” You confessed and you supported your upper body on your elbows as you leaned over the table to seal your agreement with a kiss.

“What’s going on here? I leave you alone for one day to visit a leisure palace and come back to find you two loved up?” You both startled and pulled apart at the sound of Donna’s voice and simultaneously turned your heads to find her halfway into the kitchen.

“You’re not possessed again are you?” She squinted her eyes with suspicion and bounced them back and forth between you and Loki.

“No.” You shook your head, before glancing back at Loki who appeared to be perfectly calm as he offered you a soft smile.

“Oh okay.” Your auntie sighed as she now made her way further into the kitchen, “because the Doctor was.”

“What?” You were hardly following what she was saying as your heart rate was racing, you don’t know why you were having this kind of reaction to Donna finding out about you and Loki, but it felt so sudden, you were hoping that you could have been able to tell her on your own terms and now you were nervous about what she will say.

“The Doctor, he got possessed.” Donna informed you, as she pulled a bottle of water from the fridge before she started approaching the kitchen table.

“At the leisure palace?” Your pitch raised with confusion, as she sat down beside Loki, who suddenly looked nervous by her close presence.

“No, on a space truck on his way to visit a sapphire waterfall.” Donna looked up when you remained silent and saw your wide eyed expression. “That wasn’t sarcasm.” She clarified.

“Is he okay?” You asked with concern.

“Yeah, just a bit shaken up.” She frowned. “But they’re going to have to permanently shut the resort down to prevent it from happening again.”

A silence covered the room while Donna drank from her bottle and you glanced down at yours and Loki’s hands which were still intertwined over the kitchen table and he gave them a gentle squeeze.

“So... how long has this been going on?” Donna rested her chin on her fist as she eagerly leaned forward on the table and glanced between the two of you.

“Uh... since the dark ages.” You softly chuckled at how that made it sound like you had been together for centuries and you caught the way Loki’s lip slightly curved, clearly amused by it as well.

“Oh, so that’s why you both disappeared.” Donna raised her eyebrows.

Your cheeks immediately flamed and Loki began stroking his thumb over your knuckles.

“But listen here, Bruce Almighty.” Donna turned in her chair to focus her attention on Loki, who quickly gave her his attention and furrowed his brows at the nickname. “You might be a divine being of immortality or whatever but don’t think that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you if you break my nieces heart. Don’t think you’ll get off lightly just because I’m a mortal either, I have a time lord on my side and don’t forget it.”

“Donna!” You scolded your auntie, as your cheeks grew even hotter.

“You have my word that if I were to ever impose any harm upon your niece I’d let you deal with me however you see fit.” Loki swore to your auntie with eyes filled with sincerity before they fell back on you, as you speechlessly stared at him completely enchanted.

***

You and Loki had just crawled into your bed for the night and although you were aware that the God didn’t follow the same sleeping pattern as you, he assured you that there was no place he would have rather been.

You were both laid on your sides, face to face, with your legs intertwined and your chests almost flush, Loki’s arm rested over the dip of your waist and his fingertips traced patterns up and down your spine, his other hand was rested between his cheek and pillow and your faces were so close that the tips of your noses occasionally brushed.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face even if you tried. Ever since you and Loki had agreed to be official, it were as if you were receiving an endless supply of liquid endorphins shot directly through your veins, except when Donna gave him ‘the talk,’ you shut your eyes with embarrassment as it played back in your mind.

“I’m sorry for my auntie.” You apologised with a wince.

Your own hand was resting on the side of Loki’s neck and your thumb brushed against the corner of his jaw, so you felt him shake his head dismissively and reopened your eyes.

“Don’t apologise, it’s important to have people in your life who look out for you and care about you. I’m glad that she is protective.” Loki told you, and from the proximity of your faces you felt his breath fan across your lips as he spoke.

Your brows pinched together as you listened to what Loki said and considered how, from what he had told you, he lacked people who looked out for him. To hide your frown, you shuffled down the bed slightly and snuggled into his chest and in response he shifted onto his back so you were able to rest your head upon his shoulder with your arm cuddled around his waist.

“I’ll look out for you.” You promised him with a tired voice.

Loki’s head lifted slightly as he looked down at the top of yours, his features completely softened. Of course he found it endearing that a being far more vulnerable than he, was promising him protection, however more importantly he felt your words to be true.

You had displayed it ever since Pompeii when you ensured he was hydrated while barely conscious in an attempt to keep his temperature steady, then once again when you offered him a place to stay on the TARDIS and then ensured that he didn’t lose it.

The sides of his lips lifted softly as he planted them on the crown of your head.

“I don’t doubt that.” You heard him whisper as he pulled you closer with his arm around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Loki.” You mumbled softly.

“Goodnight, my love.” Loki answered.

My love. Your chest overflowed with warmth and you pressed your lips to the side of Loki’s neck to give him a lingering kiss before you gently floated off into a peaceful sleep.

[allthingskakashi]

You said you don't write NSFW but what about a fluff "morning after" scenario for kakashi and a female S/O. Like, they had their first time the night before and they're waking up in the next morning and it's just fluff and cuteness all over. If you don't write this type of stuff either you can just ignore the ask. Take all the time you need if you're going to write it 💜

Hey anon! I’m good with writing a morning after! god it’ll be so fluffy and cute ugh and he’s gonna be the best!! Hope you like it! :)))

• The Morning After •

[Kakashi x Reader]

Languor takes over all your senses, making you barely aware of your surroundings. You want to get up, but it feels like you’re not even in control of your own body.

You squeeze your eyes tight as you feel the harsh bright rays of the Sun hitting your sleep ridden, heavy eyelids.  It must be well past when you usually wake up. You’re so sleepy, but you need to get up. This is your off day in a long time and you’ve got a lot to do. A list of all the things you need to get done once you’re up runs through your subconscious mind, perturbing you.

This fucking sunlight though, Jesus.

You force your eyes open just a slit. A blurry image of a room that’s not your own comes into view. Ugh I can’t even process anything.

You turn your gaze to your immediate vicinity and see an extended arm sticking out from under your head.

Oh.

Kakashi…

Images flood into your mind at the speed of light.

You and Kakashi watching TV…Kakashi carrying you from the couch to his bed… the two of you entangled in each other’s arms, kissing like it was for survival…him lifting your t-shirt slowly over your head…His mouth exploring your every curve and crevice…your sweaty bodies in rhythmic synchronization…both of your moans reverberating through the room…holding each other tight…falling asleep in his arms…

You feel the loud thud of your heart hammering in your chest as a montage of last night’s events plays through your mind. You’re fully awake and in your senses now. Your heart is racing as you recollect everything that happened just a few hours ago. Did that really happen?

Just the recollection sends a warm rush to your cheeks, followed closely by a feeling of overwhelming happiness in your heart. Yes, it did.

And with none other than Kakashi, the man you’re deeply in love with. The man you know loves you so much he’d die for you in a heartbeat. The man you know is the one.

You smile in contentment.

You take Kakashi’s hand sticking out from under your head and place a soft kiss on his palm, before intertwining your fingers with his. Judging by how motionless his hand feels, he must still be sound asleep. The thought of his beautiful face in tranquility, with his mussed hair sprawled all over it makes you smile to yourself. You slowly turn to your other side to face Kakashi, careful not to disturb him; anticipating a replicated sight of the image inside your head.

Facing him now, you rest your gaze upon him, only to catch him wide awake, staring at you with eyes so full of love and warmth, a subtle smile on his lips. His smile broadens as soon as your eyes meet.

He looks angelic lying there beside you, his ashen hair shining silver in the sunlight. You can’t help but smile back at him.

“Good morning”, you whisper, snuggling closer to Kakashi’s chest. “How long have you been up?”

He pulls you in further and kisses the top of your head. “A while. Did you sleep okay?”

“The best I’ve slept in ages” you answer truthfully.

“Me too” Kakashi says, firming up his grip around you, his tone husky from the sleep.

The Sun outside is starting to shine brighter now, making you just a tad clammy under all the covers. You bury your face in Kakashi’s chest, trying to block out the light.

He notices, indubitably. Nothing that causes you discomfort ever escapes the copy ninja’s observant eyes. He moves nearer, providing more of his chest as a shield to you. 

“I’m sorry about that. I was going to get up and pull the curtains but...” his voice drops low “but you were sleeping on my arm...and I didn’t want to move away” he finishes in a murmur, as if he’s almost embarrassed to admit it.

You raise your head to look at him and start chuckling.

  What did I ever to do deserve this guy?

You get an irresistible urge to just reach over and smother him with kisses.

“You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” you say, laughing. He flusters up, just as he always does whenever you compliment him.

“You might have mentioned it a few times” Kakashi says, trying to sound cocky but being deceived by the giddiness in his eyes.

“But still not enough” you say, pulling his face in towards you.

Holding his face in both your hands, you plant a kiss on his forehead, and then bridge of his nose, tracing your lips all over his face. His cheeks, his eyelids, the scar on his eye, his mole, and all across, before pressing your lips on his mouth. He immediately parts his lip, greeting your tongue into his mouth with his own. He requites, taking your face in his hands and pulling you to him as your tongues meet in fervent swirls.

You keep going till you’re completely breathless. You pull your lips apart slowly, panting and unwilling to stop, your lips like opposite ends of a magnet; but needing to catch your breath.

“Well that certainly makes up for missing out on our morning work out today” you remark with smile, your voice teasing.

Kakashi laughs. “More than makes up.”

You fall back down on the bed again, lying side by side on your backs in shared silence, taking in the warmth of each other’s presence.

“Y/n”, Kakashi’s voice breaks the silence after a while. You turn your face to see him looking at you, a solemnness in his eyes, almost as if he’s scared.

“You’re okay, right? I didn’t…hurt you or anything? Please don’t be afraid to tell me whatever you feel. I love you...I hope you know that, even though I may not say it that often. And I really hope that last night was just as great for you as it was for me.” He finishes, his tone genuine but tense.

The sincerity in his voice tugs at your heartstrings. No one has ever cared for you so much before. But then, no one before was Kakashi. You’ve been with guys before, but none of them ever made you feel the way Kakashi did. And you didn’t care much for how they made you feel either, they’d meant nothing to you. But Kakashi… he was perfect in every way. He was so considerate and patient with you, making sure you were okay and having a good time every step of the way. He had never even rushed you to do anything despite the two of you being together for almost 6 months now. He had never so much as hinted at anything.

You reach out and put your hand across his cheek, stroking it lightly.

“Kakashi… last night was the most beautiful night of my life. You were great. And I’m FINE. Better than fine. I’m really happy, and I’m glad last night happened. And i do know how much you love me. I love you too.” you say smiling as you stroke out the frown lines on his face. 

Kakashi’s eyes soften, relief flowing over his face, smoothing out his features. A strange stiffness that you had noticed in him all this while vanishes and Kakashi looks like himself again. Even better, he looks happy. He beams at you, leaning over and placing a kiss on your lips.

“Well, how about some breakfast? I’ll make you your favorite.” Kakashi asks, sitting up on the bed now.

“Oh no, that’s fine, you don’t have to. I actually better get going. I have a lot to do today” you say, sighing, sitting up yourself.

“No, you don’t” Kakashi says, flatly.

You look at him, befuddled. “What do you mean? Yes, I do. I have to get my laundry, do some grocery shopping, organise my kitchen cabinets, clean my—”

“It’s all taken care of.” Kakashi answers, in the same flat voice.

“Huh?” you look at him, your face scrunched up, completely confused.

Kakashi laughs at the look on your face and takes your hands in his.

“Well, Y/n…I really wanted to spend the day with you. We hardly ever get off days or get to spend much time together. I wanted to spend time with you today so I got some clones and my ninken to care of all that for you”

You look at him, open mouthed, completely speechless.

“what did you- how did you even know what all I needed to do?”

“just saw the to-do list on your refrigerator last time I was at your place” he shrugs.

You gape at him, trying to process.

“Wait a minute, you really got Pakkun to agree to do my CHORES?”

 “Well...” he pauses for a while… “eventually.” “you know I can sweet talk anyone into anything” Kakashi finishes, with a sly grin and a wink.

You laugh, staring at Kakashi in awe, completely caught off guard by all of this.

As the initial shock and confusion of the situation subsides , a sense of relief floods through you. You feel a little guilty for feeling this way but the realization that you now have no chores to do for the entire day and are free to spend a whole day with your boyfriend makes you way too happy to mull over that right now. Both your heart and your mind feel free of any worries. It’s just you and him now.

You crawl closer to Kakashi, climbing over his extended legs and positioning yourself on his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck, as his back rests against the headboard.

A mischief filled smile plays across your lips as you look deep into the eyes of the copy ninja.

“Well then...how about I sweet talk you into joining me for a shower right now, to properly express my gratitude... and then we can make breakfast and spend the rest of the day together?”

Kakashi pulls you in with a jerk, gripping your hips in his hands and returning your smile.

“no sweet talking necessary for that.”

[muffindaddystyles]

dark academia

Note: This's from my "choose an aesthetic and I'll do a harry writing on it." challenge. It's still open. You can inbox me your favourite ones!!!

P.S: It's kinda sentimental and awfully soft full of fluff gave me a bit sinking feeling :( 

TW MENTIONS OF DEATH.

💛

Blood-Rays of setting sun like a pearl shining upon the ocean slants through the slabs on the oak desk Y/N's sitting at studying for her mid-terms. It's Autumn. The library smells of dry lavenders and every often an aroma of biscuits pooled in butter whiffs under her nose as the librarian sitting infront of the stony fire-place relishing onto the treats petting her cat along.

She's drowned into a baggy london's fog grey coloured sweater tucked into taupe pleated skirts and her hair tressed back into a ribbon.

The world around seems cosy and warm to her as the voices billowed to mere soft hushes of rustling leaves, she almost forgot there are people around her when a pair of strong arms came wrapping around her shoulders hugging her ever tight she was never embraced this goodly before, "oof who're you?" She whispers comically akward as he has her face squished into his neck.

"Oops, wrong timeline, love." Meet Harry. He just came here to meet his girlfriend and just realized that they're not dating yet. He has time traveled to her first year of UNI and she might seems a bit off from all the bustle in her life.

He shies away when she doesn't get him and raises her brows in questioning. He's still in awe that in every era she looked beautiful.

"Mhm . . .uhm should go, take it as a free hug from me!" He spins around quickly to scramble away from her due to the embarrassment he caused to himself and not to let her show how flustered he's in her presence.

"Wait!!" She whisper yells following him and stopping him by putting her hand on his shoulder, "Would you like a cuppa of coffee, tea perhaps?" Books in her arms and a tote bag hanging at side.

"Then you could explain me your free hug policy too." His bunny nose twitched and he nods grinning. He looks so snuggly and warm — and all the words Y/N describes as a patchy cottage in the sandalwood forest.

//

"Ah! the chances of me not dying virgin seems less to me now." She jokes when Harry told her he's her boyfriend in future and her heart did a lil dance of having someone this gorgeous, "You're beautiful, candyeyed." He assures her when she thought there were faults in her that nobody seemed to be attracted to her.

Is it the pet name he calls her? She likes it.

"So . . .? You love me then, Harry?" She stirs the tea spoon not meeting his gaze and something hits her hard, swallowing her whole when his sincere voice melted in her ears.

"'Course, love you so much." She frowns taking in the tears at his bayline and it makes her stroke his knuckles, asking him in genuine concern.

"You alright?" He shakes his head sniffling the sentiments back and quickly speaks seeing his hand disappear from under her, "gotta go, bye -bye."

"Will you come to meet me, again?" She rushes and he smiles giving her a flying kiss with puckering lips, "Always candyeyed, always."

//

"You're telling me that my future self wrote letters to me present self?" She gasps with a slack jaw and Harry bobs his head happily, leaning away from the book shelf in her room to walk towards her flopping beside her.

"That's exciting and scary at the same time." She quips with a sigh snuggling to his side and when glances up he's already gazing down at her in utter fondness, "nope, you're gonna do so good." He runs his thumb over her shoulder blades and she almost melted into his touch.

"I'm so proud of you."

"Can I kiss you, my love?" She nods without taking her eyes away from him and they slip shut when Harry cupped the back of her neck bringing her closer to put his plushie mouth on her's and kiss her with reverent that nourishes in his heart everytime he sees her, it'll never die.

When she sees him vanishing she kisses him harder, "don't go this early, will miss you." He showers her in pecks promising her that he'll come to meet her to the day he's alive.

//

"What you mean to say's that I'll die? Is that soon?" Her voice wavers and Harry cuddles her closer to his chest to comfort her. Maybe, it was a bad idea telling her the truth. Indeed it was when soft sniffles and hiccups emitted from her.

"Don't cry baby. It hurts me awful." He sponges lil kisses to the dip of her neck, pinching his breath in his throat to stop himself from crying. He misses her terribly and the bed feels cold without her being in his arms.

"'M just frightened 'n, 'n I don't want to leave you." She sobs. She's a sensitive person. But, who wouldn't cry knowing they'll die early than their 60's or whatever. To divert her attention he shines light upon more beautiful moments.

"We've a gorgeous lil baby boy and he just said his first word! Wanna know what it's?" He chirps and she nods wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater, "Mama!!" It makes her inners bursts. She couldn't fathom in million years that she'd be this lucky.

"He's a mama boy then." She giggles but Harry's silence halts her and it all dawns upon her. Too late as Harry lets out ugly sobs from his lungs and it wells up her eyes too, "'m sure you're gonna a good daddy, Harry." He calms himself cupping her cheeks and tilts his chin to kiss her lips.

"I love you so much. Our baby bambi loves you so much." He lays them back under the blankets cuddling her to him and she smiles wet-ly cheek smushed over his chest as she admires him, "Guess his name?"

"Tove?" She asks with a glint of happiness, "Absolutely! I call him tovie-dovie." Their heartbeats in melancholy and sync.

"Tell him, I love him so much."

"Every day, baby. Every day."

//

She writes letters to their baby boy daily, not letting him think that he'll be forlorn of his mother's love. Special ones for his birthday's and flowers tucked in each envelope with a message of kindness and love.

//

She was bringing her tea from the kitchen to her room when she hears thump of footsteps outside it doesn't startle her anymore. Harry keeps on coming and going many times, his visits are frequent now even if they're for some hours. He teases her that she'll forget about him after meeting the one with her present timeline and she always kisses him affectionately with a murmur, "Doesn't matter all Harry's belongs to me."

The cup falls on the carpet and it leaves the stain but she doesn't care as harry stands infront of her with a boy who looks exactly like her and got mellowness of hazel in his irirses, he looks upto his father at the visible shock they influenced her and Harry just cooes at him.

"C'mon bubba mama's waiting to cuddle ye' up." He pats his head and urges him forward. His smile bright as Y/N hunches on her knees and opens her arms to embrace her darling, "Mama!" He toddles excitedly to her and it made her cry more.

The moment he was in her arms she knew nothing mattered anymore and it was worth dying for this bundle of joy in her arms, "Mama." He again babbles caressing his face against her cheek as she hugged him for dear life.

"Tovie turned two and he time travels too." Harry explains and god knows how much effort harry put in to teleport them together at the same timeline.

"Yes, my love, my dear life 'm your mama. I love you so much bubby." She smacks loud kisses all over his soft baby face and he giggles at the top of his chest stopping her. "Happy birthday, Tovis, how bout we celebrate!?" She just kept on kissing her baby knowing that she wouldn't be able to do it after he'll born.

"Love you mama." The poor bug wanted to say this loud for so long.

"Me to bubby, me too."

Harry swipes them two in a big blankety hug and anoggles them tightly to his chest making them laugh terribly loud, "Me too!!" He squeaks cheekily smothering them in kisses and they think they'll figure out how to find happiness.

[san-shui]

HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED! @djts-arts

i'm sorry this took a while but here's ur gift! it's based off on the MLB AU but doesn't follow ur plot. basically - let parrmour be happy lol! anyway i love you and hope you enjoy it!

i also posted it on ao3

On Monday

On Monday, I met you

It was the first day of school and the first akuma attack when Jane Seymour, a.k.a. Chat Noire, met Ladyblue.

How they met was by accident when Ladyblue flew into Chat Noire, who was walking along her baton like a tightrope, learning her new abilities. Their time to get acquainted was cut due to having to fight an akumatized classmate, Stoneheart.

But the moment Chat Noire met her partner in crime, she was entranced.

I liked you, I liked you

The girl had bronze skin and short, dark curly hair that parted on her left side with blue highlights hanging over her deep brown eyes.

Her skintight was black with light blue on the front in the style of an opened short sleeve jacket that stopped at the waist and on the legs from the knees down her to her feet, and within the light blue were black spots while white pearls lined along her wrists and waist into a “V” on the front. Her mask was opposite of the suit (light blue with black spots), and on her head was a black headband with silver spikes.

Even though she was in her superhero outfit, Ladyblue was gorgeous. Appearance was one thing, but her personality was another, and it's just as beautiful as her. Her bravery, her cleverness, her strength, her positivity, and her confidence.

It’s Monday – bad day

After defeating Stoneheart for the second and official time, the superheroes checked to make sure that the citizens were alive and well. To their surprise and glee, the akumatized classmate ended up dating their crush.

But good day for us

“They’re made for each other,” Ladyblue awed.

“Like us two,” Chat Noire flirted, offering her new partner a hand.

Good for us

Right then, Chat Noire’s ring beeped as the fourth paw flashes green – signaling one minute left before transforming back into civilian form. At that, Ladyblue grabbed her wrist and pulled it forward, showing the ring.

“Uh-oh, you see that?” Ladyblue asked lightly.

Chat Noire glanced at it then at her, and noticed how close their faces were to each other.

Even though they just met today, Chat Noire briefly wondered how those lips felt against her. It must’ve been subconscious because the next thing Chat Noire knew was her eyes drifted close then getting shoved back.

You wouldn’t let me kiss you

“Time to split,” Ladyblue said, releasing her hand.

Too stunned to move or speak, Chat Noire merely stood and watched as Ladyblue walked away.

“See you soon, Chat Noire,” Ladyblue said with a wave, then swung her yoyo out and launched herself into the air and behind some buildings.

Chat Noire smiled and dazely waved.

And that is why

She’s been in a relationship before and truly thought she was in love with him, but he turned out to be douche. She thought she learned to not fall in love so fast, but fighting alongside Ladyblue, Chat Noire was willing to do anything to get closer to her.

“Can’t wait, milady,” she whispered, then turned and vaulted away.

You were my kind of guy

~~~

Then Tuesday, I called you

Chat Noire was playing with her baton while lying lazily on a roof. After defeating another akumatized civilian, the superheroes agreed on doing patrol around London to further prevent harm and more akumas. Chat Noire wanted to talk to Ladyblue, but she left before Chat Noire could get a word in.

Chat Noire wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Wasn’t Ladyblue curious about her partner too? Or was she just too busy today? Chat Noire knew what it was like to be busy. Her civilian form, Jane Seymour, was a famous singer in England, she was bound to be crowded with meetings and rehearsals and classes.

Still, why did Ladyblue leave in a hurry?

Chat Noire supposed she could learn more about her baton’s gadgets. She had the rest of the day anyway. She was boredly pressing buttons when Contacts popped up on the screen. Seeing the only contact on her baton was Ladyblue’s, Chat Noire perked up.

She immediately pressed “call” under Ladyblue’s profile and waited eagerly. To her disappointment, the call went to voicemail. Chat Noire frowned, but it quickly vanished when an idea hit, and she pressed “call” again.

Several hours later, Chat Noire had left about 15 voicemails for Ladyblue of her rambling about her day. Unlike the others, the last voicemail was sincere as she asked if they could meet and talk. Assuming Ladyblue wouldn’t answer, Chat Noire set down her baton, sighed, and gazed at the starry night.

Ignored me, straight voicemail

A minute later, her baton vibrated with a beep, and Chat Noire glanced to see a notification from Ladyblue. She excitedly opened it to a message.

You texted back saying:

Ladyblue: play hard to get. ready. set . . .

You wouldn’t let me see you

Baffled, Chat Noire reread the text over and over. What was that supposed to mean? Was Ladyblue interested? Did she think she (Chat Noire) was messing around? She knew she was a jokester between the two, but she’s real when it comes to feelings.

Whatever it meant, it was clear that Ladyblue was not going to video call with her - at least for today.

Got so depressed by your test

Chat Noire sighed. That’s fine, she didn’t want to pressure her partner to the point of scaring her. Although she probably annoyed her with all of the voicemails. Chat Noire would gladly wait to see her lady, but that didn’t dismiss the depression that she felt at unanswered calls and the game Ladyblue set up.

Still I thought

Yet, a smile crept on her lips at the excitement of the game with Ladyblue, and she typed her response.

You’re the best

Chat Noire: u’re on >:P

‘Cause I’ve been so juvenile

That to take my time is just not my style

~~~

Come Wednesday, black coffee

After purifying the akuma, the victim offered them free coffee. Chat Noire happily agreed, while Ladyblue hesitated but agreed.

“You like black coffee?” Chat Noire asked her partner.

“Yeah, and you don’t?” she countered, raising a brow.

“Just because I look good in black doesn’t mean I like black coffee. I prefer flavor like myself,” Chat Noire teased proudly.

Ladyblue rolled her eyes, and Chat Noire laughed. Once they got their coffee and gave their thanks, the heroes left to drink in peace. They decided to sit on Big Ben, having a perfect view of their city.

Pure talking, clean touching

For hours, they talked and laughed. At some point, they discussed their double lives as being superheroes. While Jane was thrilled to have more freedom as Chat Noire, Ladyblue appeared anxious and concerned.

“I’m glad doing this to save London, but I can’t help but think I’m not the right one for this job,” Ladyblue confessed, staring down at the busy streets.

Chat Noire frowned and leaned back on her hands, gazing up at the sky.

“I get that. I doubt myself too sometimes. This may be bias but–”

Feeling bold, she placed a hand on Ladyblue’s. Startled, Ladyblue stared at their hands then at her with wide eyes.

“–I think you’re perfect for the job. Sure, we have flaws, but that’s what makes us human. I’ve never seen someone as smart, brave, and strong as you. I know we’ve only met and done this for three days, but it feels like a lifetime, and I can’t picture a better Ladyblue than you,” said Chat Noire sincerely.

Chat Noire wasn’t sure if it was the sun’s lighting, but she could’ve sworn she saw color on Ladyblue’s cheeks.

Oh, Wednesday, hump day

Ladyblue averted her eyes and stammered.

“I– um, thank you, Chat. I couldn’t have a better partner than you,” she said, facing Chat Noire again.

From the soft tone and her genuine eyes, Chat Noire knew she meant it and smiled. Then, to her astonishment, Ladyblue turned her hand over, grasped Chat Noire’s, and squeezed it gently. Chat Noire’s heart skipped a beat, and a silent gasp left her lips.

But we just held hands

“And I can’t picture a better Chat Noire,” Ladyblue whispered, giving her a small smile.

Chat Noire beamed and laughed.

“That’s a relief to know,” she teased.

Ladyblue giggled then gazed forward again.

You wouldn’t let me take you away for the day

As much as Chat Noire wanted to do more than hold hands, she was content with this for the day. Facing out, she too stared out at the city. About an hour later, Chat Noire decided to push her luck for the day.

“Are you up for hanging out more? Maybe go see a movie?” she asked.

Ladyblue chuckled and shook her head.

“Sorry, kitty, but I gotta stay. I have some things I need to finish,” she excused apologetically.

Chat Noire tried her best to hide her disappointment.

And I felt so juvenile

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Good luck on your stuff,” she said.

Chat Noire then took Ladyblue’s hand, who was close to resisting until Chat Noire simply kissed her knuckles.

“Goodnight, milady,” she said, shooting her a wink.

Suppressing a smile, Ladyblue shook her head.

“Night, Chat Noire,” Ladyblue said.

Chat Noire smirked then jumped away. As she leaped from building to building, a part of her was feeling impatient with her and Ladyblue’s relationship (friends or more). She was clearly pushing it, but she didn’t know what else to do with these feelings – especially towards a girl.

The logical side of her informed Chat Noire that she’s taking this too fast, but the emotional, useless, romantic side of her wanted her to pursue this. Hell, she only knew her partner for three days, and Chat Noire was willing to do anything for her.

You gave an inch of time, and I took a mile

If Ladyblue wanted to just be friends, she would’ve said, right? Maybe she was interested in Chat Noire, but was too afraid to admit it or didn’t know it yet.

Arriving at her mansion, Chat Noire jumped through her bedroom window and landed quietly on her floor. She de-transformed into her normal clothes then walked over and face planted on her bed with a groan.

“You’re such a useless lesbian,” Plagg said bluntly, floating above her head.

“Shut up, Plagg,” Jane mumbled into her pillow, but Plagg ignored her.

“Psh, why love a complicated human when you have camembert!” Plagg said, throwing a piece of cheese up and into his mouth.

Jane flipped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

“She may be complicated, but she’s still amazing. I’m still not sure how we ended up getting these miraculous, but we’re meant to be. I can feel it,” she said thoughtfully.

Plagg rolled his eyes. “Yuck. You being all gushie is making me sick. If you need me, I’ll be in the cabinet with my love,” he said, stroking a piece of cheese then disappearing into a desk under the TV.

Jane grinned and shook her head then stared out her window at the moon as thoughts of Ladyblue swarmed her head.

I was so juvenile

‘Cause to take it slow is just not my style

~~~

Then Thursday, like Tuesday

Fed up with her family, Jane used Chat Noire as an excuse to flee her house. She roamed around London for a bit, helping citizens here and there, then ended up relaxing on top of a building.

Similar to Tuesday, Chat Noire called Ladyblue and left voicemails about her day. She probably shouldn't bother her, but Chat Noire found comfort doing this. She’s not sure why, but being able to talk to someone other than Plagg was relieving.

But unlike Tuesday, Ladybug never responded. This baffled Chat Noire. Was it something she did yesterday? Everything seemed fine . . .

Your “day off” from me

A loud crash came from behind, and Chat Noire turned to see a large robot stomping through the streets. It was about to hit another building until a yoyo stopped it, restraining its arm back. Chat Noire followed the line to see Ladyblue tugging on it.

Maybe that’s why Ladyblue hasn't responded. Whatever the reason was, Chat Noire had to put the issue aside as she sprinted to help her partner.

~~~

But Friday busy

Twice, Chat Noire tried to bring up Wednesday’s night event, but Ladyblue kept dodging it, using an akumatization or needing to hide before transforming as reasons to avoid the topic.

And Saturday too

Another victim saved, and Ladyblue and Chat Noire’s partnership appeared alright, but Jane could see through the mask (figuratively and literally) that Ladyblue was evading more moments with her. Jane’s heart broke the less Ladyblue interacted with her when they’re not fighting alongside each other.

Not wanting to deal with this game anymore, Jane made certain Ladyblue would talk to her the next day.

What’s up with you?

~~~

On Sunday, after a well fought battle with an akuma, Chat Noire caught Ladyblue before she left.

You don’t wanna kiss me

“Ladyblue, wait!”

You don’t wanna see me

Ladyblue froze and stared at her with apprehension.

You don’t wanna take me

“You’ve been avoiding me and I want to know why. I get you don’t wanna kiss me, but why don’t you want to see me? Or even be with me?” Chat Noire asked desperately. “Look, if it’s something I said or did on Wednesday, then I’m sorry. I know it seemed like a game and it’s only been a week now, but I really really like you. But if you don’t feel the same, you can tell me. It’s okay.”

So let me go

Chat Noire lowered her head and closed her eyes, waiting for the heartbreaking words. Instead, a gentle hand rested on her shoulder, prompting her to look up into kind eyes.

But you said:

“There’s things I know . . . you are cute, but juvenile,” Ladyblue said, booping her on the nose.

Then she placed her hand on Chat Noire’s cheek, who happily leaned into the touch.

“Don’t you know the greatest love takes the greatest while? So if you’re willing, take my hand and take the trial for just a mile and then another mile. Be patient for that one day.”

Before Chat Noire could blink, Ladyblue kissed her on the other cheek. When she pulled back, both faces were blushing. Ladyblue chuckled and looked at the sunset.

“Look, kitty, it’s Sunday,” she said, then glanced back at her. “Come with me, and I’ll make it worth your while. Maybe it’s not far away or coming down the aisle, but . . . I do wanna kiss you and try this out if you’re okay with going steady,” Ladyblue asked shyly.

But I wanna kiss you now

Chat Noire beamed. “Can I kiss you now?” she asked eagerly.

Oh . . .

Ladyblue giggled and nodded.

And kiss you

Chat Noire grinned and cupped her cheeks then connected their lips.

And kiss you

Ladyblue tasted like sweetener, and Chat Noire couldn’t get enough.

And kiss you

They broke away for air, but they could barely get some as they laughed at one another.

And kiss you

They then rested their foreheads against each other as they calmed down – goofily smiling.

And kiss you

“Is it too soon that I just want to kiss you?” Ladyblue asked in a hushed tone.

And kiss you

Chat Noire giggled. “We can do it as much as you want, milady,” she whispered.

And kiss you

Ladyblue chuckled then closed her eyes and kissed her again, which Chat Noire gleefully returned.

Till Monday

[doingthingsthewriteway]

I’ll Be Home for Christmas iii

Summary: It’s date night. 

A/N: cross posted from ao3

Taglist: @charmed-asylum​

Friday rolled along at a snail's pace. Y/N worried Lee would boast about their evening and news would spread like wildfire. However, much to her surprise, he kept his mouth shut (or everyone was too afraid to cross him and kept their knowledge private). The privacy helped her nerves, though she knew what would happen once the first person saw them together. She wondered what her friends would think or say when she wasn't around.

She wore a simple dress which concealed her figure in an effort to establish boundaries, though something told her he wouldn't abide by any. Her hair was down in loose curls and her lips were painted red. Y/N forgot to put on her pearls as her mother lectured her on the expected behavior of the evening.

Bodecker arrived at the end of his shift. Y/N thought, or rather hadn't considered the possibility of anything else, that he would arrive in uniform. Yet, he stood in their living room without any sign of his sheriff regalia.

"You look beautiful darlin'." ("That sheriff is a no good liar, Y/N. You listen to me!")

"Thank ya kindly, Sheriff."

"I'm off the clock." He took her by the hand, pulling him closer to his side. "I'll have her some safe when we're done."

"No later than-" her mother was cut off by Lee's sharp eyes. Her father waved them off, perhaps knowing that any trouble she might get into with the sheriff would be better than the trouble at home.

Lee opened the door to her side, leaning over and buckling her seatbelt for her. His hands brushing over breast. The scent of peppermint catching her by surprise. "Now," he settled into the drivers seat, "we're gonna go catch a movie, grab something to eat, and then have a nice long talk in private."

Y/N couldn't focus on the film. She knew from friends what boys would do during movies; consequentially, she sat on edge the entire time. Lee anticipated this, if anything it would work in his favor. He was all about surprise.

Dinner was a different affair. The diner was hopping with families dining together and teenagers trying their absolute best to make something happen. Gossip was sure to follow. Y/N and Lee couldn't be seen to distinctly in the dark of the movie house, the diner was different.

"Wanna share a milkshake?"

Y/N was tempted to shrug but remembered the stern look in his eyes when she did that before. She didn't like his bad side and definitely did not want to tempt it. "Up to you."

His tongue clicked, hands grasping hers. "C'mon darlin', I want you to make some decisions in this."

"This?"

"You had a nice education, surely you've caught on." Lee took one of her hands, bringing it up to his grizzly cheek. "I'm sweet on ya, hell I might be addicted."

"Sheriff, that's awfully kind of you but-" he squeezed her hand tightly as the waitress arrived at the table. Y/N half hoped his eyes would slowly graze over the waitress instead staring at her instead.

"What can I get y'all?" Shit, they were a y'all now.

"I'll take a burger and fries, a coke, and whatever the lady wants."

"A Diet Coke and some chili cheese fries and a strawberry milkshake."

"Two straws?" The waitress smacked her bubble gum as she spoke.

"Two straws."

It was hot, too hot in the diner or at least sitting across from Lee. His stupid smirk showing his amusement at the whole damn thing. She wondered what damage a fork to his hand would cause but that wasn't going to end well.

"Strawberry,huh?"

"The chocolate tastes chalky."

He laughed, another one of his stupid belly shaking laughs. "You're awfully cute."

"Lee, I really don't know think I want to do this."

He nodded, a pensive look on his face. His hand absentmindedly rubbing his tummy as he held her gaze. "Your ma tell you that? Your pa just let her fill your head like that?"

"Stop. This isn't about that."

"You like staying in that house? Like getting yelled at? Don't you want a place of your own?" She couldn't answer, not with the waitress returning with their order. "Now, be a good little girl and eat your dinner."

She hated how blindly she followed that order. How was a response like that going to help her case any? Nevertheless, she ate her dinner and sipped the milkshake ignoring how her stomach tightened at the way his eyes looked as the bored into her chest.

Lee paid and ushered her back to his cruiser. He licked his lips, his tongue thick and his lips red. "I reckon your ma's done told you about my reputation."

"Said you were into whorin' and I'm no better than any of your other girls."

Y/N dared at glimpse at him from the corner of her eye as she picked at the seatbelt. His knuckles were tightened in anger, jaw tense, tongue pushed into his cheek. "Your ma really don't hold back does she?"

Before Y/N couldn't answer, not that she really wanted to, he started the engine. A hand stretched over the seat to rest on her thigh. "Here's the deal, little lady." His fingers rubbed the fabric of her skirt between his fingers. "I can be a patient man. I'll treat you like a goddamn queen. People in this town like me, I'm up for reelection next year and a pretty life wife by my side would sure help me out."

"Wife?" Y/N smacked his hand away, whipping over to glare at him. "No, Lee Bodecker, I'm not some pathetic little thing you can seduce into being your wife after just one day. My house might not be great but I will never-" She was cut off by the sudden sensation of his hand on her jaw squeezing tightly.

"You don't want to test me. I'm going to take you home, we'll tell your folks we had a great time, and the next time I see you we're doing something about that attitude."

It took two days before Lee showed up. Two days of paranoia from what an attitude adjustment at his hands would mean. Two days of fending off her ma's questions and ignoring the way her pa couldn't seem to be able to talk to her like he used to. Home alone, she wasn't surprised this was when he would strike.

Y/N answered the knock at the door, only opening it enough for her to see him. "Morning."

He pushed his way inside, hands on his hips as he surveyed the house. "Why don't you fetch me a cup of coffee, maybe something sweet, and we'll chat."

Scurrying to fulfill his wishes, she found herself seated beside him on the couch, legs titled towards him. "What, um, what was it you wanted to talk about Lee?"

"You need to let me love ya like I want to. I ain't forced myself on have I? Hit ya? Screamed at ya?" No. No. And no. "I know I've let myself go a bit, ain't all lean like those boys you must've gone to school with but I can give ya a lot. So why won't you take it?"

The sincerity in his blue eyes was alarming. He was genuine in his affections, in his feelings. To him, marriage must have been a logical next step. How many of her friends were already hitched? Hell, Sue got married on Prom Night and Rosemary married a guy after a month. Knockemstiff didn't understand the world was changing as it never would.

"I've been thinking about running for mayor after next election cycle. Money won't be a problem. We'll get a big ol house and you can decorate it however you want. I'll buy ya the prettiest dresses and shiniest things you've ever seen." Lee held his tongue about the babies, he didn't want to push her too far yet.

"So unless you think you can stop me" he made it a point to brush over his gun, "I'm going upstairs to check your ring size. Anything you'd like me to take to my place, you're welcome to let me know."

He vanished upstairs, leaving Y/N to realize this was it. She wondered how far she could get if she ran but the image of the cold hard steel of his gun was enough to squash any rebellion that rolled inside her.

[darkmindsotome]

Cruel Innocence

Fandom: Tears of Themis 

Pairing: Artem Wing x (non gender specific) MC

Word count: 2,658

Warning: pining, lovesick.

Written by: darkmindsotome

---

“Thank you for your help.”

He stood next to his partner watching as they bobbed giving a little bow saying goodbye to their new client. Their voice was as bright as the smile on their face.

“We’ll be in touch after we have the documentation ready for you to read through.” His response felt flat by comparison but it couldn’t be helped. Be it at work or in private he often found it difficult to imbue his conversation with emotion.

Gossip was a thing that followed him through life and he was never truly bothered by it, except when he was told he needed to find a work partner. He had a good idea who he would pick, but what if they heard the hearsay in the office? If one was to believe the things that were said about him then his reputation was that of a stern man with ludicrously high expectations and standards to match. It felt like a horrible misunderstanding was now a cosmic joke following him through life.

He had high standards when it came to working, wanting to give the clients the best experience and results possible. It was something he wished those in the firm to aspire too but even he knew it would be difficult to achieve and he wasn't particularly angry when they failed to do so. They were human and the only time his high expectations ever were enforced on someone was when he pushed them on his own shoulders. 

His conversational skills lacked the element of humanity devoid as they were of bits of trivia or sugar coating. Thanks to his issues with crowds and socialising in general he had developed coping mechanisms that had left him with a strong poker face. It wasn't exactly the best if he wanted to be more approachable. He was never good with small talk and didn’t follow anything that was either a trend or on social media. So, his conversations with others revolved around work. The main issue he was aware of was how robotic he could sound when talking. The way the eyes of the people talking to him glazed over or shook with dread and fear as he used direct and concise words to explain things to them. It always hurt to see it, he didn't want to be the bad guy all he wanted was to be reliable and supportive. To help. 

The worries he had about his partner proved to be unfounded. Even when he apologised for boring them or sounding too harsh they smiled and reassured him they didn't think of him in that way. It stunned him when they pointed out little things he had previously been criticized for, and said they thought he was kind. He could almost count on one hand the number of people that had called him that with genuine sincerity. They were all the things he wasn’t, amazing him with some of their comments and observations. Whilst they felt the need to compare themself to him and rise to his level. He always found himself wondering if it was not him who was falling short of the mark. 

Walking back from the client's meeting was pleasant even if the weather was acting seasonally unpleasant. It wasn't raining but the humidity in the air did make it feel like a heavy blanket was covering them as they walked. During the meeting, the client had the air con on full blast which meant that returning to the outside world was even more jarring. As they passed through the cities shopping district he kept glancing out the corner of his eye to check on his partner. Satisfied with them appearing happy and comfortable he shifted his focus back to the work that needed to be done and navigating back to the office. 

A sigh that was so small he thought he imagined it caught his attention. His eyes moved back quickly to the one walking at his side in time to catch them staring longingly at some shops. He looked over at the storefronts the bright decorations did look like something they might enjoy. 

“We have no other business for today, that meeting wrapped up faster than planned. If you wish you can go ahead and—” He didn’t wish to part ways so quickly but if this was something they wanted to do then he would let them go ahead.

“Oh! No, it’s ok I was just thinking… today is kind of a perfect day for getting a bubble tea.” They had an apologetic look on their face as they explained. The way they flustered over such a little misunderstanding had him thinking of them as cute for what must have been the hundredth time today.

“Bubble tea? You mean Boba?” He looked again across the pedestrian walkway and saw one of the brightly decorated shops had a happy little mascot holding up a menu by the door.

“Yes! Have you ever had one Mr Wing?”

“… Once. I don’t know if I can say I enjoyed it.” He remembered the strange texture of tapioca and liquid in his mouth thinking a drink should be a drink not chewy.

“Really?” The smile on their face fell slightly and the animated energy they had seemed sapped right out of them in an instant. He felt guilty knowing that it was a result of what he had said.

“If you want one go ahead.”

“Are you sure?” Gaining his approval, they seemed happy once more. This was something else where their differences made things better. He could be cool, calm and calculating. They were able to experience things on a different level and flip emotions as if they were a simple switch. “Ok, I’ll be right back. Just wait here, ok?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at how childlike they were. The excitement of getting a treat had them bouncing along like a happy puppy. If they had not insisted on him staying he would have simply returned to the office without them. Happy to be asked to stay he moved to find a bench under one of the trees in the seating area, sitting down to wait patiently for his partner to return.

Sitting obediently in silence, he noticed the other people. It wasn’t a huge crowd but there were the occasional passing couples that caught his eye. Snuggled up to each other talking as they walked. Pointing to store windows and then buying refreshments and splitting them between them. It was a simple pleasure his heart desired and cursed him for his lack of forthrightness. As much as he might want something he just didn’t have it in him to push for it. A case in point was his one-sided love affair that at times seemed to be all in his head.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and after slipping it out to see what the notification was for a frown developed on his face.

“Don’t need to worry about coming back to work today. Enjoy your date. – Celestine”

It was more of the usual teasing from her and he was used to that but it bugged him all the same. Sometimes it was like the woman had a spy camera on him and it made him wonder if he was that easy to read or if it was simply just Celestine being Celestine. He punched out a reply telling her he didn’t need her to tell him that and put the phone back in his jacket.

“Was it work?”

The voice next to him made him jump. At some point when he had been so focused on his phone, he had missed his partner's return. They were looking at him with a worried expression etched on their beautiful face. He felt sad for being the cause of that smile once more vanishing behind a cloud.

“It was nothing really, just a reminder for something.” He reassured them giving them a faint smile.

“Oh… ok then.” They nodded and looked down at a plastic cup in their hands. An image of the store’s mascot was printed on the film lid and the colour of it was nothing like the boba he remembered.

“What is that?” Curiosity got the better of him as he asked about the contents of the cup.

“Bubble tea.” As if realising that what they had said was inadequate for answering his question they held up the cup to show him. “It’s strawberry milk tea and Lychee fruit pearls.”

“Fruit pearls?” He suddenly felt ridiculous parroting words and phrases. When he had a Boba himself, he had one the staff recommended. It was milk tea with brown sugar and black tapioca pearls. He drank it nearly choking on the tapioca not expecting it to just shoot up the straw into his mouth as he was drinking. He made up his mind this kind of thing wasn’t for him and never returned.

“It's great actually. I mean I was tempted by a few others but I just really felt like getting something summery.” There was that smile he loved. He looked again with curiosity at the drink in their hand. It was pale pink with clear bubbles below the layer of ice. It did look summery.

“Would you like to try some?” They held it out to him and then turned a faint shade of pink that matched the drink in their hands. “Oh! Don’t worry I haven’t had any of it yet. And I got a spare straw too.” They held up two straws like they were evidence in a trial.

“You came prepared.” He nearly laughed at the gesture.

“Not at all I asked for two cos the paper straws always buckle up before I can finish drinking.” The blush on their cheeks was spreading to their ears. He didn’t dare move. If he were a different man, he might have wished to tease them more to see more of that flustered expression. “Well do you want to try it?” His heart was in disarray, happy to be invited to share in the moment with the one he cared for. He was in the process of nodding when his partner joyfully took one of the straws and punched a hole into the lid of the cup before handing it over. “Here you go.”

He took a sip fully expecting it to be far too sweet and was surprised by the freshness of it. When a couple of the fruit pearls popped up into his mouth, he was ready for them but once more was surprised by how easy they vanished after popping them against his teeth. The lychee juice mixed with the strawberry milk tea creating a wonderful combination that gave him a comforting feeling.

“Well, what’s the verdict?” They were waiting for his feedback with bated breath.

“It’s not unpleasant. It’s rather nice.” He took another small sip.

“I know right? I like getting them from time to time but they can be bad for you if you drink too many. Kiki was addicted to them at one point and complained when she gained too much weight.” They were talking happily but stopped after realising he had fallen silent. It wasn’t their fault at all. His mind had decided now was the time to remind him of the happy couples sharing food and drink and stopped processing everything that his partner was talking about. “Oops sorry, I’m rambling.”

“Not at all. Thank you for letting me try something new.” He handed the drink back to them the flavours still mixing on his tongue.

“Anytime!” They punched another hole in the cup with their straw and took such a long drag on it that at least half an inch of the drink vanished in an instant. “Ah, that’s the stuff!”

They looked happy and relaxed. Falling into a comfortable silence they remained on the bench as the tea was drunk.

“Do you want the last bit?” The cup was held beneath his nose at the question. He shook his head happy enough that it was bringing satisfaction to the one at his side. They finished the drink and then dropped it into the recycling. “Alright then shall we—Ow!”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He panicked when he heard their cry. Their hands were on their face rubbing at their eyes.

“Sorry I think something just went in my eye. I don’t think it was a bug… bit of dust maybe?” They stood there, fingers curled over into fists rolling them against their eyes like a cat grooming. He reached out and held their wrists preventing them from rubbing more.

“Don’t rub you can do more damage than you think. Let me take a look for you.”

He tilted their face up so he could get a better look at their eye. Taking out his handkerchief he ran it under some water from a drinking fountain and used it to pat around their closed eyelids removing any further danger.

“Can you open your eyes for me and lookup? I want to check inside them.”

Following his direction, they did as they were asked. It struck him that this was the closest he had been to them. He could feel their breath on his hand, feel their warmth on his palm. Forcing himself to remain focused on the task at hand he diligently looked for signs of dust in their eyes finding instead only deep pools he could easily lose himself in. The silence between them dragged on like a spell as he found himself counting their eyelashes and lost in the light caught on their wet lips.

“Can you see anything?” Their question broke his spell making him internally chastise himself for his momentary weakness. 

“Not really you might have knocked it out. Close your eyes again.” As soon as they closed this time, he was more aware of the soft expression on their face. They were so relaxed and trusting.

He blew softly on their eyelids just in case something might be there he missed. He felt them flinch but they didn’t pull away and they didn’t complain. He felt a pain in his chest imagining that they could act this way with others and a protective surge of jealousy rose in him. He wanted to wrap them up in his arms and prevent others from getting this close. It was a childish selfish thought he shut down quickly. They were not his and he had no right to act in such away. He stepped back reluctantly and watched his partner's eyes flutter open again.

“Better?”

“Yes, thank you, Ar- Mr Wing.” The way they caught themselves keeping things formal between them was as familiar as it was a little disappointing. At work, in front of clients and colleagues, he could accept that but there was a desire to forget formality when they were alone. He might be a senior attorney, their superior and partner but he was also a man not too dissimilar in age to them. The formality made the gap between them feel like a vast chasm.  

“Shall we head back now?”

Walking again he naturally matched his stride to theirs. It was like his body was subconsciously trying to bridge that distance between them. They spoke of little things along the way but nothing of significance.

All the time his mind went back to them standing there his hand on their cheek with their eyes closed as if waiting for a kiss. The flavour of strawberry and lychee was still lingering in his mouth and he imagined if he had kissed them how that flavour might have intensified.

To think he would be thrown so completely off his game by something so innocent as helping with a speck of dust. Naiveite is bliss as they say, but only to the ones that remain unaware. To the enlightened, it was a very cruel sort of punishment.

---

[queerchoicesblog]

The Corpse Bride - A Sapphic Rewriting (2/2)

I cannot believe this is the only decent screenshot where both the ladies are present!

Anyway, here is the second and last part of my sapphic rewriting of Tim Burton’s The Corpse Bride: it turned out a bit longer than I first thought but I hope you enjoy it!

If you do, please consider reblogging and/or spreading the word: it’s so hard being a writer on tumblr... 🙏

I also remind you the amazing fanart by @may12324​ (here & here) and the AO3 Sapphic Emily/Victoria fanfics.

Tagging @gay-fandom-menace​ for the last update!

________________________

As days passed, Emily went above and beyond to show her spouse the hidden beauty of the Land of the Dead and she eventually succeeded. Victoria looked less frightened of the residents living in the shadows and even accepted to attend the welcome party in her honour, where she apologised to the general for stealing his saber. It was almost as if she...forgot where she was or no longer cared about the oddity of the place, Emily noticed, looking her laughing at one of Bonejangles' mots d'esprit. She also realised that she enjoyed the time spent with her more than she could have foreseen. Victoria was always shy and almost regal in her poise but there were moments when Emily would say something funny and she would laugh, a hearty gracious laughter, covering her mouth with a hand. Or when she sighted contently petting a purring Miles. One day, returning from a walk up the hill, they found the pub deserted and decided to head inside. Emily produced herself in her best bartender impression that made her spouse giggle, and ventured behind the counter to fix herself a drink while her companion took a seat on a stool. "How many days have passed since I came here? It's so hard to have a perception of time down here..."

Emily turned, taking a sip of red wine. Victoria looked suddenly lost in her own thoughts. "I don't know, sweetheart...a week maybe? Why?" "Oh nothing" Victoria laughed weakly, shaking her head. "I was just wondering where Victor is now. If he's alright" "Who's Victor? Your brother?" the corpse bride asked, excited at the idea of learning more about her family. "Oh no! He's my fiancé...even if it sounds a bit weird calling him so, after meeting him the other day for the first time. I was looking for him in the woods when I stumbled into you" An unknown feeling spread a sudden cold inside Emily. She didn't know why but she felt suddenly less cheerful after that revelation. She heard herself asking Victoria to tell her more about him and that's how she learnt he was from a fish merchants family, the Van Dort - or the nouveaux riches as the Everglot called them with evident displeasure for their non-aristocratic roots-; his dark eyes and shy manners, his endearing clumsiness. He was also a formidable pianist, she added. "I can play the piano too! What music do you like?" Emily exclaimed, without thinking and taking Victoria's hands in hers. She guided her towards the instrument on the opposite side of the room and they both take a seat on the old dusty bench. Victoria giggled and threw her a curious look. "Something dreamy and nostalgic?" Emily asked, starting to play a solemn tune that caught her spouse's attention. Then, after a while and with a sudden yet gracious key change, she added, flashing a conspiratorial smile. "...or maybe something a bit more lively and cheerful?" When she started singing a popular ballad, Victoria gaped in surprise. Now she truly understood why her undead bride's fame was renewed for miles when she was alive: not only her features still bore traces of a rare beauty that surely won the hearts of hundreds suitors but also she had the voice of an angel. Her fingertips ran over the keyboard with confidence while her voice enchanted her with its supreme harmony. An angel of music, Victoria thought, contemplating her. Out of the blue, just before the grand finale, Emily's skeleton hand parted from the rest of her body and performed a joyous trill on the keyboard before running up Victoria's arm and shoulder. She was used to it going its own way from time to time but it kind of embarrassed her that it happened in front of her spouse. She giggled nervously. "Pardon my enthusiasm" To her great surprise, the Everglot girl wasn't horrified by what happened. She gave the hand an amused look and took her in her own. Then, she turned towards Emily and helped her placing it back at the end of her arm. The bride was about to mutter a thank you when she spoke. "I like your enthusiasm" When Emily met her gaze there was a new shade of red on the girl's cheeks and a bashful smile on her lips. The cold feeling that troubled her immediately vanished, replaced by a warmth that she hadn't felt since joining the Land of the Dead. Maybe in her whole life. Too soon Victoria diverted her dark eyes. "Why don't we play a duet?" Emily suggested. If possible, Miss Everglot blushed even more. "I don't play the piano" "Oh" Emily was genuinely surprised. "I'm sorry, I just thought-" "No, it's fine! It's just..." Victoria took a deep sigh. "Mother says music is improper for a young lady. Too passionate...so she never let me lay a finger on our piano" "Am I being...improper? My most sincere apologies, your ladyship" Victoria turned to see Emily offering a teasing smile. The grim mood caused by the mention of Mother instantly melted away and she found herself laughing. "Oh no, you played splendidly! It was truly lovely, Emily" Victoria said, serious again. "It's just Mother, she...well, I suppose you can say she never approves of anything" Emily nodded understandingly. A shadow crossed her face. "Do you think she would have approved of me? The two girls shared a long grim look, leaving the answer they both knew in their heart lingering in the air, unspoken. "You're lucky you'll never have to meet her" Victoria sighed, losing herself in her own thoughts and memories again. "The day I...found you and disappeared she came finding me before the rehearsals of the wedding. She only wanted to check if my corset was laced properly. And she made fun of my being a little nervous. She told me that it was nonsense because marriage is just a partnership, a little tit-for-tat" After a moment, she continued. "Since I was a child I've dreamt of my wedding day. I always hoped to find someone I was deeply in love with. Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Silly, isn't it?" The smile on her lips was so pained that Emily felt the irresistible urge to place a hand over hers. The sudden gesture surprised Victoria who blinked her bid dark eyes. "I am just the same" the bride whispered, softly. "And I can teach you how to play the piano, if you like? So that we can play duets, what do you say?" Victoria considered for a moment then the doleful look in her eyes left room to a tiny little sparkle and she nodded enthusiastically, like a little girl. Content, Emily scooted closer so that shoulders brushed against each other and gently placed her hands over hers. Now she felt it too, the sparkle that brightened Victoria's face. "Loosen up yours shoulder and press whatever button you like. That's it! Now another, and that black one too...see how they combine together?" The impromptu lesson kept going until someone cleared his throat. Emily turned to see an ancient skeleton standing on the threshold soon followed by Miles. "Elder Gutknecht, what a lovely surprise! And welcome back, Miles: enjoyed your galavanting?" She stood and guided Victoria towards the newcomer. "Dear Elder, have you met my wife?" the bride asked with cheerful pride. "This is Victoria of the Land of the Living. Victoria, this is Elder Gutknecht, the most ancient spirit in our midst and resident Sage: ask him anything, he knows it!" Victoria gave the skeleton a gracious curtsy. "Enchanted, Elder Gutknecht" "Ah, so this is the lucky one, huh, Emily?" the old Sage inquired, jostling a heavy-looking tome in his arms. "Delighted to make your acquaintance Miss-" "Victoria, Victoria Everglot" "Miss Victoria Everglot!" he flashed an unreadable smile before addressing the corpse bride. "I was wondering if I could have a word with you, Emily" "Sure, speak away" "In private, actually...if you don't mind" Emily looked a bit surprised but obliged. She placed one hand on her spouse's shoulder before taking her leave. "Keep familiarising yourself with the instrument, my darling. I'll be back before you know it. And Miles, be a good boy: do not jump on the keyboard!" That being said, after one last quick smile to both, she followed the Elder down in the cellar. She couldn't possibly understand what he wanted to discuss with her but she knew you never question a Sage. So she stood there, patiently waiting for he to talk. When they were alone, she perceived a sense of unease in the air. When he finally resolved himself to speak, Elder Gutknecht's face looked troubled. "I am afraid I am a messenger of grim news, my dear girl" "What grim news? I don't understand, Elder" Emily exclaimed, lost and a little anxious. The old skeleton took a deep sigh and continued. It seemed as if words costed him a great effort. "According to the vows you shared, your union is valid..." he briefly consulted the ancient tome in his hands. "'until death do you apart', isn't it?" "Yes, so what, Elder?" He closed the book and gave her a sad look. "Death has already parted you, dear Emily" It took a moment to the bride to process the meaning of his words: her mind resisted, refused to acknowledge it. She heard the words he said after while her heart ached in her chest: she was dead, Miss Everglot was living. The only way to make this marriage valid was asking Victoria to drink the "Wine of Ages", a poisoned goblet, so that she could join her in death. "No...no...there must be other ways!" Emily exclaimed, begged, walking frantically up and down. When the Elder grimly confirmed that no, sadly there was no other way, she stopped and gave him a long heartbroken look. "I could never ask her that...to give up her life for me. I...would never ask her that" she whispered, her voice cracking. Tears welled her eyes as she felt like she had lost Victoria for good. She turned and gave the Elder her shoulders, covering her face in a desperate attempt to protect her sorrow from his eyes. She had lost her love once again. "I'm sorry, may I interrupt?" She immediately followed the voice: Victoria was standing on the threshold, politely clearing her throat. She threw quick glances at both of them as a gaping Elder gestured to join them. "I'm sorry, I was just passing by and I overheard your conversation..." Emily felt another pang of sadness making her bones ache: what must Victoria think of her now? She must feel so betrayed and outraged... "Victoria, I am so incredibly sorry, please believe me I didn't know anything about this" she said, rushing to her side and placing a trembling hand on her cheek. She felt her knees getting far too weak when the Everglot girl looked at her with her big dark eyes. "But just know that I...I release you from those vows, I would never ask you-" To her surprise, she interrupted her. "I do believe you, Emily" she smiled weakly, taking her skeletal hand into hers. "And I appreciate what you said to the Elder here" The bride gave her a painful smile, caressing her cheek. "It's the least I could do after causing all this trouble, darl-" "But I'll do it" Emily froze. "What?" "I'll do it" Victoria repeated. "I'll drink the Wine of Ages and join you in death. I only have one last favour to ask" Her eyes wandered between the Elder and her spouse. "Can I go back...Upstairs before the wedding and the ritual?" The permission was given and she and Emily went back to the woods where they first met. It wasn't night yet but the moon already shone bright in the sky. Emily was mesmerised: she took a few steps and contemplate the big almost full moon for a while. "I've spent so long in the darkness, I'd almost forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is." she said at last, turning towards Victoria. She outstretched her arms and when the girl took her hands into hers, she guided her into a gracious slow dance around the woods. The Everglot girl had never seen someone dancing like her: it came so easy to her, as if every step, every move, every spin wasn't just sheer perfection but a second skin to her. She laughed softly when the bride ended the dance with a curtesy, rising her hand to her lips. "One day you'll have me to share some of your dancing teaching with me" "Anytime, sweetheart" "I'll go say my goodbyes now if you-" "Mais biensure, go ahead! I will wait for you here, in this gorgeous moonlight" Victoria flashed her a quick smile and was about to take her leave when Emily gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "Victoria, just know that if you ever change your mind about the ritual, I...you can always say no, and I will never judge you or...seek vengeance because of that, you understand?" Victoria nodded, her slightly childish way of nodding. "I'll be back before you know it!" And she disappeared into the woods, headed towards the city. Emily's eyes followed her until she lost sight of her and sat on a fallen tree trunk, sighing contently. But there was no quiet time for her: her right eye started itching until it popped out into her lap to reveal...petty Waggot. "I've heard this already!" the creature muttered angrily. "And i know a lie when I hear it!" Emily rolled her left eye and retrieved the other. "Hello to you too, Waggot! I suggest you to calm down and relax: as much as I appreciate your concern, she will be back" "But of course" he signed, sardonic. "Oh hush you! If you have nothing nice to say, keep quiet and let me enjoy the moonlight for once" Waggot certainly knew how to be exasperating and he was certainly wrong, Emily thought. So she waited and waited until the unpleasant feeling of a deja bu started tormenting her from a corner of her mind. What if petty Waggot was right this time? Troubled and with a growing concern gnawing her, she headed towards the edge of the forest, looking for Victoria. She didn't have to search for long but the scene she found made her hide behind a tree. The girl was standing not far away, on the bridge by the river, but...she wasn't alone. She was hugging a boy around her age with dark hair and eyes that Emily immediately recognised as Victor. When the two parted and kept chatting, the bride rested her back against a tree to avoid getting caught. Emily didn't know what to think, what to make of it. The sudden violent pang of jealousy was soon replaced by a sense of emptiness and pain. What a fool she had been to think someone like Victoria could reciprocate her feelings for her...'Little Miss Living' as Waggot called her. How could she compared to Victor who was still breathing and had a beating heart in his chest just like Victoria? If she touched a burning candle, she would feel no pain, just like if you would cut her with a knife. She wouldn't burn nor bleed like them. Yet, even if her heart wasn't pumping blood in her veins, she could distinctly feel it aching and breaking at the sight of that embrace. With an excruciating urge of crying, she took another look from her hiding spot. This time she made out some words of their conversation. "Do you remember everything?" her spouse was saying. "Find Hildegarde, she knows what to do and-" "And meet you at the church, got it" "Excellent! And Victor..." she took his hand into hers. "You have no idea how important this is for me" "But are you sure? I mean, if you-" "I am, Victor. As I've never been before" Then, she looked over her shoulder and spotted Emily in the woods. Emily wanted to hide but the girl smiled and waved at her. To her surprise even the boy did so, looking terrified, his hand shaking. "I must go now but we have a deal, right? See you, Victor!" With one last hug to an astonished Victor, the Everglot girl joined Emily again and wrapped her arm around hers and walked back to the centre of the woods. She couldn't help but notice that the corpse bride was awfully quiet all the way down. The wedding was set for the following night. The announcement spread a contagious wave of excitement among the residents of the Land of the Dead: everyone wanted to contribute to the brides' special day. It had been long since they last attended a joyful event. So Bonejangles, self-elected best man for the ceremony, took the stage to rehearse his speech, the maitre head gave instructions to the imperturbable bartender while tailors ran up and downs the streets offering to fix the brides' dresses and bakers argued over how to bake the most decadent wedding cake. When time came, an overjoyed crowd marched towards the church, Elder Gutknecht walking upfront with the brides in tow. Needless to say, it was enough to make the old arrogant pastor ran away in his nightgown. Once inside, they took their seat, chatting excitedly. Emily threw Victoria a smile and noticed that her spouse looked nervous now, constantly checking over her shoulders. Her hear ached again. Everyone only went quiet when the Elder asked for silence. "Dearly beloved... and departed..." he started, rather proud of his role of officiant when the doors opened again and he rolled his eyes at the late guests. Emily turned, followed by the rest of the crowd, to see a boy and an old lady with tired, glassy eyes standing - and looking around trying and failing to suppress a shudder - at the end of the aisle. The boy was holding a pile of boxes that for a moment hid his face but no mistake: it was Victor. His eyes found the brides and he offered the best smile he could manage in the general surprise. "Sorry for the interruption, we-we are probably a bit late but we...we brought the dress" Emily, who was bracing herself for the last of another betrayal, couldn't believe her hears. She looked back at Victoria lost, confused. The girl only smiled, her jaw finally relaxing. She wasn't nervous because Victor was late to stop the ceremony and 'save her' but because...Victor was late with her dress? "I'm sorry I kept this from you, Emily...I hope you don't mind if I asked Victor and my maid to join us and bring me the wedding dress Ma ordered. They are the closest I have in this world to friends and the dress was already there so I thought..." she blushed imperceptibly, shrugging. "I thought that I'll only marry once, better do it properly, if you don't mind waiting a little longer" "Of course, dear" Emily whispered, touched, taking her hands into hers. As a lively chatting started again, Victoria headed to the adjacent room with the old lady, who pushed Victor out as soon as she grabbed the last box, eliciting a general round of laughter. Emily threw a sympathetic look to Victor, who was adjusting his tie in a desperate attempt to compose himself. He cleared his throat and asked who was the maid of honor. "Best man here, buddy!" Bonejangles waved from the first row. The Van Dort boy smiled quickly at Emily and approached him. He picked a wedding ring out of his pocket and handed it to him. He was about to leave when the skeleton grabbed his arm and pulled him into a half-hug, inviting to assist to the ceremony with all of them. Victoria's friends were their friends too, he said and the crowd murmured in approval. After what seemed like an eternity to Emily's sentimental heart, the doors of the adjacent room opened and the old woman appeared first, headed towards one the bench after an awkward curtsy. Then...she appeared, and it almost seemed to the corpse bride that her heart started beating again. It wasn't possible but the sight in front of her brought her an happiness so vivid she couldn't help but feel...alive again. The dress Mrs Everglot picked was quite simple and a bit old-fashioned, with little to no decors and high collar. It didn't enhance the beauty of her daughter but Emily thought that Victoria's grace needed no enhancement : she was a vision, walking solemnly back to the altar, a shy smile on her lips and a bouquet of violets in her hands. While the ceremony started at last and they began sharing their vows, Emily thought back at all the moments they shared together. The comforting warmth of Victoria's living body against hers when she fell asleep on her shoulders and the dimples on her cheeks when she laughed at a joke. The somber look in her eyes when she told her about her unhappy life with her family and the urgency she felt of holding her in her arms back then. Or their non-duet at the piano, their dance in the moonlight... So when time come and Victoria held and goblet of Wine of Ages and recited "Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine" She stopped her before she could bring the poison to her lips. "No" she cut her short. "But Emily..." Now Victoria was the one lost in the plot. Emily placed the goblet back on the altar and gave her a sad smile filled. "I was a girl like you once. Then life was taken from me. I love you, Victoria, and I will never do the same to you. I will never take your life. We only live once and you...deserve to live yours to the fullest" Out of the blue, the church doors slammed open again and a man the Everglot girl recognised as the mysterious man attending the rehearsals of her wedding as if he owned the whole place walked in. He looked straight at her with a charming yet vaguely menacing grin. He profused himself in a speech about how relieved he was to find her at last, she was sent to look for her by her family, devastated by her sudden disappearance. When he was close enough, he gallantly offered her a hand, asking to follow him. His courtesy didn't last long though: when Victoria, shocked by his complete disregard for the surroundings, refused, he grabbed her arm and made to pull her away. Murmurs raised from the audience and Victor raised to his feet. "Leave me! You have no right to come her and force me to follow you" Victoria protested, dropping her bouquet. "As a matter of fact, I do have, darling" he smirked, an ominous wolfish grin. "I humbly asked for your hand in marriage if I managed to find the lost girl, and guess what Mom and Dad said after that disastrous engagement? So that makes you my fiancée, dear Victoria" My fiancée...my fiancée... The world echoed in Emily's mind until a sudden memory hit her. The foggy night, the oak tree, the menacing gleam of the rapier. "Let her go now, you monster" she shouted, cold fury simmering in her bones. "Mind your business" he hissed back, pulling Victoria's arm again but Emily took hold of his own in a steely grip. "I say let her go now and get out" He met her gaze with his face distorted in anger. He didn't recognise her at first but when he did, his face tensed up in fear and horror as he back-pedalled, setting the Everglot girl free. "It can't be..." "My thoughts precisely...when you left me to die and ran away with my gold" Emily now advanced threateningly in his direction as a loud gasp resound through the curch. Fury and panic ruled his moves as he promptly unsheathed his rapier and thrusted it into the bride's ribcage only to find out that he had no luck this time. An ominous smile crossed her face as she dropped her own bouquet and exclaimed: "General? Your saber" "With great pleasure, Emily" Nobody knew whether the bride was skilled in sword fighting but the duel that followed was not for the faint of heart. Emily's stabs were raw, unrefined but her thirst for vengeance made up for it; also her previous knowledge of Lord Barkis came in handy as he wasn't to be trusted with a sword. He fought as a scoundrel now that he dropped the mask and scoundrels of his sort, with no honour nor empathy, never fight fairly. Panic and turmoil erupted among the guests. Suddenly, Victoria's voice resounded over the clashing of the swords. "Victor, run, go find the guards and expose Lord Barkis! And you, down there lock the doors!" The boy looked confused for a moment but recovered soon and sprinted away into the night while the bartender and another skeleton locked the doors behind him . Lord Barkis didn't even notice him, blocking another hit. "Expose me? And for what, milady?" he laughed, an hideous humourless laughter. "I am inclined to believe the guards will consider the accusations seriously once they find you armed on a crime scene" the Evetglot girl explained, quietly. "What crime scene? I am the one being attacked here!" "Get out, you monster, I said!" Emily roared. Then, a sudden collective gasp from the attending guests, drove the attention back to the other side of the aisle. Even the fighting stopped. Victoria was standing by the altar, steely determination in her gaze and the goblet in her right hand. Her gaze found the corpse bride again and she lifted her left hand. "With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for" she continued, raising the goblet. "I will be your wine." Emily cried out an impotent "no!" as the girl drowned the poisoned goblet in one huge gulp, wincing afterwards. The corpse bride dropped the saber, and held her dress as she ran as quickly as her feet could take her to the altar. Stubbornly, Victoris grabbed a candle and raise it but her hands started shaking, just like her voice. "With this candle, I will light ...your way...in...darkness." The candlestick fell to the marble ground just as Emily rushed to held her trembling figure and prevent her to fall too. Victoria was awfully pale and abandoned herself into her arms like a dead weight, unable to sustain herself anymore. Her breathing was feeble, a pained whisper when she continued. "With this...ring, I...ask you...to be...mine." Emily desperatly called her name but her eyes lost her usual gleam and the body in her arms became too cold and still for a living. The Wine of Ages truly was deadly. Overwhelmed by the heartbreak, Emily cradled the lifeless body tenderly while tears rimmed her face. Foolish, foolish Victoria. Her despair was met by a respectful silence, to honour her loss. Or so she thought until someone cleared their throat and offered placed a hand over her shoulder. "Emily, I think this is when the officiant says 'You may now kiss the bride'" a familiar voice said. Not just a familiar voice. Her voice. Emily opened her eyes and turned her head. Victoria - or her corpse - was standing at her side, smiling encouragely. Emily stood without hesitation as if drawn to her by an irresistible force. When they faced each other, she reached for her hands. "I thought I lost you" Victoria raised cold fingertips to her cheek. "You never will, my love" When they lips touched, a light so bright emanated from their embracing bodies, swallowing them completely till they disappeared into a shower of butterflies. What follows is matter of legends and stories told by the fireplace. After the wedding, the guards stormed into the now empty church only to find the corpse of Miss Everglot in a wedding dress and Lord Barkis on the verge on insanity. He claimed he was innocent but he sounded rather hysterical. According to the local chronicles, his arrest lead to an investigation that uncovered a series of murders of local wealthy heiresses in the villages he stopped by. Sentenced guilty and not sane in his head, he ended his days in an asylum, without a penny and forgotten by the world. As for the other characters of the story... Apparently, that eventful night the curse of the corpse bride was broken as she found the true love who set her free. Victor Van Dort left the village is search of better fortune as a pianist. The dawn of his departure, a pair of butterflies, a blue and a lilac one, graciously waltzed inside his room, flying around him; he likes to think they were the brides saying adieu and wishing him a bright new life. The woods are now less ominous: kids play by the river again and nobody fears venturing there, even after dark. However, some claims that the forest is still somehow haunted. The baker's son swears that if you go by the oak tree during full moon, you would see two female spirits dancing a waltz in the moonlight. They are not spooky: on the contrary, quite a joy for the eyes. And one of them looks just like Miss Victoria Everglot.

[softlass27]

yes, ya girl accidentally turned what was meant to be a short, fluffy prompt into 4000 words and ended up having to post it a day late. what can you do? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kind of a continuation of my “end of chaddy” ficlet from last week, but you don’t need to have read that to follow this one. as long as you’re aware of the hoped-for chas/al affair :)

Flufftober day 3 – But you said

AO3 link here

“So uh… ” Aaron sidles up to Robert while he’s cooking tea, snaking both arms around his waist. “You remember how you love me?”

Robert drops his knife on the chopping board and twists around to stare down at his husband, suspicions already raised. “Yes… it rings a bell. Why?”

“No reason,” Aaron blinks up at him with a innocent look that’s not dissimilar to the one Seb gives them when he’s been caught eating a biscuit before mealtime. “Just… remember that, okay?”

“What’ve you done?”

“It’s nothin’ bad! Except… I sort of… toldPaddyhecouldstaywithus.”

“Excuse me?” Aaron’s already starting to make his escape, but Robert grabs him by the arm and pulls him back. “Oh no, you don’t. You told Paddy he could what?”

“It won’t be for long.”

“I agree, it won’t be any time at all. Because it’s not happening.”

“Look, he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. Marlon has a full house, there’s no room for him there.”

“Not my problem.” Robert can genuinely, sincerely, think of nothing worse than having Paddy Kirk for a houseguest. He only just got rid of Cain, for Christ’s sake. “Why’s he moved out anyway? Your mum’s the one who slept with someone else, isn’t the cheater the one who’s supposed to get kicked out?”

Aaron raises an eyebrow. “You’d rather live with my mother, then?”

“No thanks, I already did my time.”

“No need to make it sound like it was a prison sentence,” Aaron fires back with a roll of his eyes. There’s no response Robert can offer that won’t end with him sleeping on the sofa, so he keeps his mouth shut. “Mum has to stay in the pub, it’s where she works. And to be honest, I don’t think Paddy ever really liked living there, he didn’t want to stay.”

“And now he’s got his sights set on our place, does he?”

“Only for a few days!” Aaron says quickly. “Just until he gets himself sorted and finds somewhere more permanent. Look, he took me in when no one else would, the least I can do is return the favour for a couple of nights. Please? For me?”

Robert sighs and takes a moment to contemplate the things he does for the sake of his marriage.

“Fine,” he says through gritted teeth. “A few days.”

Aaron’s face lights up and he pecks him on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“When’s he coming, then?”

“In about… ” Aaron glances at the clock. “Five minutes?”

“Wha – five minutes, are you kidding me? Aaron, get back here. Aaron!”

*

Day One. It’s been just over twelve hours and Robert’s at the end of his tether.

The man sitting across from him at the kitchen table slurps his tea disgustingly loudly, chewing with his mouth open and getting toast crumbs all over himself and the table. Robert’s three-year-old has better table manners.

“So, you and me?” He says to Aaron with his mouth full, grinning widely, no sign of his misery from the night before. “Roomies again, eh?”

His high-pitched giggle makes Robert miss Cain. At least he’d had the decency not to talk during breakfast. Or at all, really.

Aaron gives him a fond look from where he’s buttering his own toast (Robert’s fresh sourdough loaf is going to be gone by tomorrow, he just knows it) and nods. “Just like the old days.”

“Until you get your own place sorted, of course,” Robert says loudly from behind his newspaper, an outwardly pleasant smile plastered across his face. “How’s that going, by the way? Making time for flat viewings in between your appointments with pregnant cows?”

The grin drops from Paddy’s face and he fixes Robert with the same scowl he’s been levelling at him for the past six years.

“Haven’t found anywhere yet,” he mutters moodily.

“But there’s no rush,” Aaron’s quick to add, sitting at the table next to him. “You’ve been through a lot these last few days, you can stay as long as you need.”

Paddy nods morosely, face like a wet weekend. “I just… I can’t believe she – that this has happened. I thought – I just didn’t see – see it coming.”

Funny, Robert saw it coming a mile off.

“Me neither,” Aaron pats Paddy’s arm, already shooting Robert a look that clearly says don’t you dare.

And just like that, Paddy’s taking off his glasses and blubbering into his napkin, like he had been for most of last night. Rambling on and on about shock and betrayal and how he just doesn’t know how he’s meant to get through this.

“Well,” Robert closes his newspaper. “How did you get through it the last time she cheated on you?”

Paddy is stunned into silence. He gapes at Robert like a fish, face torn between shock and outrage.

“Don’t you need to be getting to work now, Rob?” Aaron asks, exasperation radiating off him in waves.

“Suppose so.” He leans over to plant a kiss on Aaron’s lips, trying hard to ignore the pitiful sniffling next to him. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. See you in a bit.”

No sooner is Robert in the car, he gets a text from Aaron.

You’re a menace.

He chuckles and set off for work.

*

“Please tell me you’re not here for food,” Victoria begs when Robert turns up at the pub later that day. “Marlon’s decided that since Chas has A – cheated on his best mate, and B – slept with the man who ruined his marriage to Jessie, he doesn’t want to see her right now. Which means he’s not coming into work, which means that muggins here is now stuck holding the fort in the kitchen all day.”

She throws her hands in the air in frustration, face sweaty and chef’s hat askew, and any inclination Robert had had to ask for some chips quickly vanishes.

“No ta, just came for a drink.”

“Oh, thank God. Right, can’t stop, too many pies to make.” Without further ado, she turns on her heel and scurries back towards the kitchen.

“Stellar customer service skill as always, Vic!” Robert calls after her, just as Chas herself appears in her place. “Chastity,” Robert smiles and rests his elbows on the bar.

His mother-in-law watches him warily. People have been sending filthy looks and snide comments her way all week (Priya and the Sharmas have more friends and influence in the village than she could ever dream of), so she’s somewhat on edge.

“What can I get you?”

“Just a pint, please?”

She nods shortly and grabs a glass.

“So… how’s Al?”

Chas stops pulling the pint, tired and baggy eyes narrowing at him. “Excuse me?”

“Just making conversation.”

“Well, I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Understood.”

She huffs and continues filling his glass in silence.

“So should Aaron and I put his name on your Christmas card this year or – ?”

Chas slams the pint down and storms into the back, leaving a smirking Charity to take his money.

“You’re a brave man, Robert Sugden,” Moira grins from where she’s perched further down the bar.

“It’s because of her that I’m stuck with Paddy snoring in my spare room, I’m beyond caring.” He takes a gulp of his pint and heads in her direction. “Besides, I’ve gotta get my kicks from somewhere. Chas Dingle making a mistake like the rest of us mere mortals, I couldn’t resist.”

He can’t pretend he isn’t enjoying everyone getting a stark reminder of just how much of a hypocrite Aaron’s mum can be – he’s had to deal with it since the day he and Aaron got together – longer, even. She may act civil enough for her son’s sake, but Robert knows that Chas has never quite trusted him – not even after they got married properly – and that she was always looking for an excuse to use his past against him. Never mind all the wrong she’d done and the hurt she’d caused people over the years.

“Ah well, can’t say I blame you,” Moira’s smile dims into something more contemplative. “After all the grief she gave me for what happened with Cain last year, I’m tempted to get a small dig in myself.”

Christ, at least Robert's not the only one. How many times has someone in the village had to hear Chas Dingle gleefully whip out her classic mantra from behind the bar? Once a cheat, always a cheat.

Moira shakes her head, face brightening as she holds out her glass. “Well, here’s to us mere mortals, then.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Robert clinks his glass to hers. “Cheers.”

*

“House rules.”

On Day Two, Robert slaps a piece of paper down in front of Paddy, startling him so badly he nearly drops his phone.

“S-sorry what?”

“House rules. For you to follow while you’re staying here.”

Paddy picks it up tentatively. “It’s… laminated.”

“It’s Rob’s latest toy at work, don’t question it,” Aaron scoffs from the sofa. “He laminated our shopping list last week.”

“Take the recycling out on Tuesdays… don’t touch Robert’s coffee pods…no talking to Aaron while Top Gear’s on… only ten minutes in the bathroom?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“B-but you two have an en-suite! I’m the only one using the bathroom, why does it matter how long I take?”

“The rules are there to be followed, not questioned.”

“But – ”

“Do you want our rent-free spare bedroom or not?”

“…Yes.”

“Well then.”

*

“So then I told the bloke,” Aaron says from his perch on the kitchen counter, banging his feet against the cupboard. “He bloody well take what was agreed in the contract, or I’m gonna tell every scrap contact I know to never work with him again. He changed his tune pretty quickly after that.”

“Absolutely ruthless, I’m so proud,” Robert grins, before whacking Aaron’s leg with the wooden spoon in his hand. “Stop that.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but brings his swinging feet to a stop. “What’re we havin’ for tea, then?”

“Stir fry do you?”

“Mmm, yeah. With… ” Aaron picks up a packet of quinoa, frowning at the label. “Kwin-oh?”

Robert stares at him. “I think the word you’re looking for is quinoa.”

“Whatever, it’s a daft spelling.”

Robert plucks the packet out of his grasp. “You’re lucky you’re fit.”

“You’re lucky I have a thing for pretentious arseholes.”

“Oh, it’s like that, is it?”

“Mmhm.”

Aaron moves half a second before Robert does, flying off the counter and dashing away just as Robert makes a grab for him. He chases his child of a husband around the kitchen a few times, knocking into the chairs and sending a bag of peppers careering to the floor before he manages to get hold of him.

“Rob, no, don’t!” Aaron cackles as Robert’s fingers dig into his ribs, tickling him mercilessly. “Stop, stop it, I’m sorry, stoooppp!”

They both laughing so loudly, they almost miss the awkward cough that comes from the living room. Robert moves his hands from Aaron’s sides to rest on the small of his back, as they turn their heads to see Paddy watching them uncomfortably from the sofa.

Honestly, Robert had forgotten he was there.

“Alright, Paddy?” Aaron asks breathlessly, hands travelling up Robert’s chest to rest on his shoulders.

“Fine,” Paddy says shortly, still watching them with a mixture of annoyance, discomfort and… something else that Robert can’t quite put his finger on. He’s not sure he likes it. “Just… ” he wafts a hand in the direction of his laptop. “Trying to find a solicitor so I can sort out access to Evie. Could do with a bit of peace and quiet.”

“Well it’s very quiet in the spare room,” Robert offers, wincing when Aaron pinches the side of his neck.

“Ignore him, Paddy. Sorry, we’ll keep the noise down, let you concentrate.”

“No, actually I think I will go up to my room,” Paddy gathers his things and heads for the stairs. “Would rather be on my own anyway.”

As soon as he’s out of sight, Aaron rolls his eyes at Robert.

“I know he’s a bit of a pain, but would it kill you to cut him some slack?”

“Er, we shouldn’t have to ‘keep the noise down’ in our own house. It’s not like you’re still a teenager, Aaron!”

Aaron quirks a half-smile at him. “Dunno, might be sort of fun. Waiting ’til the grownups are gone so we don’t get caught, sneaking out later so we can be alone.”

“Oh yeah?” Robert raises an eyebrow. “The teenage romance thing doing it for you, is it?”

“Well it’s not like I got to do much of it the first time around, what with, y’know, not being out.” Aaron leans in to whisper in Robert’s ear. “Fancy goin’ for a snog at the cricket pavilion after tea?”

Robert shivers and turns to nuzzle at Aaron’s neck. “Make it a hand job and you’re on.”

*

That unreadable look that Paddy had given them, the one that had put Robert on edge, keeps making a reappearance.

It happens when Robert flops down on top of Aaron where he’s stretched out on the sofa, bumping his head against Aaron’s chest until he starts running slow fingers through his hair. They stay curled up together like that for the rest of the night while they watch TV, and more than once, Robert spots Paddy out of the corner of his eye. Just… staring at them with his brow furrowed, mouth twisting with displeasure. He almost looks... angry?

He does it again when Robert presses Aaron’s morning coffee into his hands with a warm kiss, and again when they talk excitedly about all the stuff they’re planning to do with Seb when he next comes to stay, and again basically every time they show the slightest bit of affection to each other.

“Oh, did you manage sort out the electricity bill yesterday?” Robert asks Aaron on the morning of Day Four.

Aaron opens his mouth to answer, but Paddy’s incredulous scoff cuts him off.

Robert blinks at him. “Something funny?”

“No, it’s just… Aaron doing the bills?” That high-pitched laugh of his returns, this time accompanied by a series of snorts. “There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear.”

“Why not?”

“Well… it’s not really your thing, is it Aaron?”

“Pretty sure dealing with bills is something most adults are capable of dealing with,” Robert says, eyebrows raised.

“What, you think I just make Rob sort out everything for me?” Aaron adds with a slightly bemused laugh.

The mirth in Paddy’s eyes has dimmed rapidly, his giggling taking a more nervous turn. “No, that’s not – I mean – I’ve just never seen it, I suppose. You never had much interest in that side of things when you lived with me.”

“When I was 18?” Aaron’s brow crinkles in confusion. “I think I’ve grown up a bit since then, Paddy.”

“Oh, you definitely have,” Robert murmurs with a wink, snickering when Aaron whacks him on the arm. “So, electricity bill?”

“Yeah, I finally managed to speak to an actual human on the phone, for once. Got ’im to refund all of the money they overcharged us.”

“Brilliant, can finally tick that off the to-do list.” Robert kisses him lightly. “My hero.”

Aaron snorts. “Alright, soft lad.”

There’s that odd look again, Robert can just sense it. He doesn’t know what Paddy’s problem is but he doesn’t care, not really. Not when he’ll be out of their hair sooner rather than later.

*

It all comes to a head on Day Six. Frankly, Robert’s amazed they made it almost a whole week without someone snapping.

It’s early evening, Robert washing the dishes and humming along to the radio while he waits for Aaron to bring a takeaway home. Paddy sits at the kitchen table, sausage-like fingers bashing at the keyboard so slowly it’s making Robert’s eye twitch.

There’s a loud sigh from behind him, shortly followed by some frustrated whispering. Followed by another, louder, sigh.

Robert grits his teeth.“Something wrong?”

“The flat I was meant to be viewing tomorrow, someone’s just flippin’ taken it.”

“Ah. Well, something will turn up soon.” Please let it turn up soon.

“This isn’t fair,” Paddy mutters a moment later, bitterness dripping from every word as he slams the laptop closed. “I’m the injured party here, why should I have to be the one who ends up homeless?”

“Didn’t think you’d want to stay at the pub, Aaron said you were never keen on it.”

“I’m not,” Paddy snaps. “But it’s the principle of it!”

“Ah, the principle. Of course, what was I thinking?” It wasn’t so long ago that Paddy’s principles had very nearly screwed up Johnny’s adoption for Vanessa and Charity. Robert hadn’t forgotten.

“You know what, Sugden?” Robert wipes his hands on a dishcloth and turns to see Paddy looking at him with narrowed eyes. “I have had just about enough of you and your attitude.”

Christ, it’s like living on the farm again.

“Well if you don’t like it, you know where the door is.”

“Oh, I bet you’d just love that. Although if I wasn't forced to be here, then you wouldn’t be able to rub it in my face anymore, would you?”

Robert stares at him, baffled. He turns off the radio. “…You’ve lost me. Rub what in your face?”

“Oh, come on, you think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

“Paddy, I genuinely have no idea what you’re on about.”

“You!” Paddy jerks to his feet, shoving his chair back so hard it almost tips over. “You, showing off all the time, shoving it in my face like you’re trying to prove that you’re this perfect, loved-up couple when I’ve lost – when I’m going through… ”

Robert can honestly say he’s never met a man as pathetic as the one stood on front of him.

“Is that what the funny looks have been about?” His jaw nearly drops when Paddy just glares, confirming his suspicions. “So what, you’re just… I don’t know, jealous that Aaron and I have a good relationship while yours has crashed and burned – ”

“Jealous?!” Paddy splutters, his words angry and halting. “Of you? Don’t you – acting as if you’re better – don’t you dare look down on me and my relationship with Chas.”

“What, like you’ve looked down on me all these years?”

“That’s different, entirely different.”

“Oh yeah?” Robert sneers, Paddy’s sheer audacity ruffling his feathers. “How’s that, then?”

“Because you – you're Mr Shifty. Doesn’t matter how hard you try with the ‘nice guy’ act, you always have been and you always will be,” Paddy snarls, teeth bared. “And fine, maybe you and Aaron are happy now, but relationships are hard work, even strong ones can fall apart just like that. You don’t know anything about my relationship! When you’ve been through something like what Chas and I have, losing a child – you have no idea.”

“No, I don’t. I can’t imagine. But that doesn’t give you the right to have a go at me and accuse me of all sorts in my own house.”

“It does when what I’m saying is true. And I’m not about to sit here and listen to a lecture from another cheater like you.” Paddy smirks nastily, folding his arms triumphant. “If there’s one thing I’ve learnt these last few days, is that those sorts of people don’t change, not really.”

“Is this the moment where I bring up Tess, or…?”

And that, apparently, is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

“How dare you?” Paddy hisses, apoplectic with rage. “Standing there on your high horse, like you think we’ve all just forgotten what you are. Well, maybe other people have, but I definitely haven’t.”

He jabs a vicious finger in Robert’s direction.

“You’re the same smug, arrogant piece of scum you always were, and eventually Aaron will see that for himself," his voices raises to a shout, spit flying from his mouth. “Maybe things between the two of you are fine now, but they won’t be forever. It’s only a matter of time before you’ll screw up again, just like you always do, and the wool will fall from his eyes. He’ll figure out that he can do better than you.”

“Will I, now?”

There’s a long, ringing silence, and Robert and Paddy both turn to see Aaron standing in the living room, coat and shoes still on and a takeaway bag dangling from his hand. The look in his eyes is as dark as thunder.

“A-aaron I – ” Paddy stammers, face paling. "I wasn’t… ”

“You weren’t what? Havin' a go at my husband and slagging off my marriage behind my back?”

“I – that wasn’t what I was trying to do – ”

“No? Because it definitely sounded like it.” Aaron tosses the takeaway bag on the coffee table. “So what, Paddy, not only do you think I’m rubbing my marriage if your face, you also think I’m trapped in a relationship with some master manipulator and I’m just too thick to notice?”

“No!” Paddy lurches towards him, stopping in his tracks when Aaron takes a swift step back. “No, of c-course not, I meant him, not you. I just – Aaron, he started it! He was winding me up!”

“I’m sure he was,” Aaron looks at Robert and his glare briefly softens into fond irritation, before his gaze snaps back to Paddy. “But that’s no excuse to say any of what you just did. Can you blame Robert for havin’ a go sometimes when you treat him like that?”

“I’m just – I’m just looking out for you.”

“That’s not what that was,” Aaron purses his lips together before sighing, hands on his hips. “You know what, Paddy, I think you’d better find somewhere else to stay from now on. The B&B probably has a room free.”

“What?” Paddy gapes at him, shocked. “Aaron please, I’m sorry, I won’t say anything else, I swear – ”

“No,” Aaron cuts him off. “Seb’s coming tomorrow, and I don’t really want him around this sort of atmosphere. It was gonna be a bit cramped with the four of us anyway.”

“But – but you said I could stay as long as I want.”

“I did, but that was before you threw my hospitality back in my face. Besides, if it’s so hard to watch me and Robert be happy together, then the Mill definitely isn’t the place for you.”

Paddy gawks at him for a moment, before scowling and trying a different tack. “So that’s it, you’re taking his side over mine?”

He gestures to Robert without actually looking at him. Robert would be offended if he wasn’t feeling so smug right now.

“He is my husband, and I'll thank you to remember that,” Aaron all but growls, not giving an inch, and Robert feels something warm swoop through his chest. “Now pack your stuff and get out, before I say something I regret.”

Paddy’s shoulders slump, as it clearly hits him that no amount of begging or guilt-tripping is going to work in his favour. “Fine.”

He lumbers up the stairs, leaving Robert and Aaron alone. They gravitate towards each other, meeting next the sofa.

“I’m sorry he said all that stuff, it wasn’t okay,” Aaron murmurs, thumbs stroking gently over Robert’s forearms.

“S’alright,” Robert dips his head, shooting him a slightly lopsided smile. “It’s not like I haven’t heard worse from him, I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to be,” Aaron frowns unhappily. “I didn’t think he still felt that way about you – about us. Not anymore.”

There’s nothing Robert can really say to make it better, so he settles for pressing a soft kiss to Aaron’s forehead. Eventually, Aaron tips his head back to look him in the eye.

“Well, all that stops now,” he says firmly, face full of resolve. “I’m not havin’ it.”

They stay pressed together until Paddy reappears with his bags, mouth downturned.

“I’ll be off, then… ” He stares at Aaron, most likely waiting for him to say something, to tell him he’s sorry and he’s changed his mind. “See if I can find somewhere to sleep tonight.”

“Right, good luck with that,” is all Aaron says, jaw set and arms folded. “Can see yourself out, can’t you?”

Paddy blinks, before looking down at the floor and nodding. He trudges out the door, leaving not with a bang, but a whimper.

There’s a brief silence, before Aaron moves to pick up the takeaway bag and gives Robert a small smile. “So… curry?”

*

Later that night, as Robert walks along the landing, he pauses outside the spare bedroom. He pokes his head in and flicks on the light, grinning at the blissfully empty space. Not a single relative in sight.

“Rob!” Aaron calls from their bedroom. “You comin’ to bed anytime soon or do I have to start without you?”

“Coming!”

Robert flicks off the light and closes the door.

[theaterism]

14: a special memory / for fox!!

memory asks - accepting

The freight train had slowed and juddered to an early stop. The children didn’t know the reason behind the delay. Repairs, most likely — a malfunction in the train itself or an issue in the railroad tracks ahead — but freighthopping required secrecy, so they couldn’t ask. For a while, they stayed hidden in the boxcar amidst the crates and the square bales of hay that made them sneeze if they stayed too close to them.

They still cracked the door of the boxcar open for some fresh air. The train had stopped beside a field. Long grasses swayed in a gentle breeze, and the late afternoon sunlight gilded the landscape in gold.

Time passed, the sun dipped closer to the horizon, and Adeline and Henry chose to venture out on their own. They’d spotted a station beyond the field, and they wanted to search for food. The dimness of the evening offered cover. James asked to join them — his invisibility could prove useful, after all — but they refused. Something about fewer people drawing less attention. The reason made sense, but it still left a hollowness inside James. They promised they’d be careful, and before he could protest further, they slipped out the door and vanished into the field.

The boxcar fell into silence.

Maybe, James thought, they feared he’d panic or tune out again. Maybe they’d telepathically decided he’d only slow them down. Maybe they were right.

James stifled the sting of rejection and sought distractions to pass the time. He performed various coin tricks for boxes and hay bales. Finding them a poor audience, he balanced on them instead and leapt between them. When he grew tired, he sat on the floor with his back against a crate. He tried to hear people talking outside — the engineer, perhaps — but only caught birdsong and the rustle of grass.

He waited.

He couldn’t tell how much time had passed, exactly, but it had grown darker. His siblings hadn’t returned. Worries swirled in his chest. His fingers traced the gauze wrapped around his left forearm. It itched. He wasn’t supposed to scratch it, but he still rubbed his knuckles along the bandage absently sometimes, or clutched his sleeve as a weak alternative.

Nearly a month had passed since they’d fled. They’d freighthopped several times along the way. Time had gotten a bit strange for James, though — it stuttered in odd places, his memories fuzzy or missing pieces altogether. But he was trying to stay present. It had gotten a little easier. Focusing on his surroundings helped — on the uneven wood beneath him, on the chill evening air, on the tickle of hay dust in his nose and along the back of his throat. He sneezed.

A lifetime ago, when they still lived in the mansion, the children had sometimes discussed running away from home together. They’d never mentioned this dream around other people, of course, especially not around their— a sharp-edged memory; James suppressed the thought and shifted his focus to the adventures they’d imagined. Sailing and mountain-climbing and jungle expeditions. It was an amusing dream, a fantasy explored with crayon drawings and embellished with the knights and dragons they’d encountered in fairy tales. Homesickness had never appeared in these plans. It had never even occurred to the children. They’d never stayed away from the mansion before, never experienced it themselves.

James didn’t know whether he was homesick. He just knew there was a dull ache in his ribcage that deepened when he was alone and a brighter memory flitted into his mind. Their games of hide-and-seek; the comfort of their bedrooms; the times they’d read together beneath a willow tree in the garden — or rather, the times Henry had read aloud while James and Adeline acted out pieces of the story.

On one hand, he never wanted to return to the house. He wanted to shove the past behind him. On the other hand, he wanted to return and see it one last time, though he couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why. It felt important. But he couldn’t go back.

There was no mansion to return to.

His eyes stung and tugged him from his thoughts. He’d been staring at the floor. He blinked to clear his vision and realized the boxcar had plunged into darkness. Night had fallen — only starlight and faint lights in the distance shone through the crack in the door. At least an hour had passed without James noticing. His siblings hadn’t returned. He was alone.

Icy dread coiled in his stomach. His heart raced as possibilities darted through his mind. Adeline and Henry could be in danger — they could’ve gotten caught or hurt or worse; the train could leave without them. And he was simply sitting in the boxcar, waiting, useless. He couldn’t lose them too.

The boy reached to tug open the door, but then— footsteps, which stopped just outside. James jolted back and pressed himself against the crate again.

A beat of silence.

“James?” Adeline, whispering through the crack.

Relief washed over the boy. She sounded okay. His own voice came out soft and shaky. “Yeah?”

“We’re back, but— right, so this’ll sound silly, but you’ve got to close your eyes before we come in.”

“Why?” he whispered, baffled. His heart still thrummed in his chest. His relief had grown, though — ‘we’re back’ meant Henry had returned as well.

“Just trust me, alright?”

He took a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. The boxcar vanished into velvety blackness.

“Are your eyes closed?”

“Yeah.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Alright. I’ll tell you when to open them. And no peeking ‘til then, or I’ll steal your coins.”

The door creaked as it slid open. The floor trembled beneath him as his siblings clambered inside. A burst of hushed muttering ensued — James couldn’t decipher it properly, but he got the sense Adeline had bumped into Henry, or perhaps the other way around. The door rattled closed again. Crinkling sounds. Soft thumps somewhere in front of him; his siblings had sat down, he guessed. His restlessness sharpened as the suspense stretched. His knuckles rubbed his bandaged arm. But he didn’t peek.

Then, another sound. Quiet and faintly metallic. A familiar sound, one he’d heard many times in the mansion, one he’d never forget: the sound of lids unscrewing from jars. His heart skipped a beat.

Silence for a full minute. James didn’t dare to break it, though he longed to speak. He realized he was holding his breath. He inhaled softly, exhaled softer.

“Right, okay, it’s— okay.” Eagerness laced Adeline’s whisper this time. “Open your eyes now.”

James opened his eyes.

His siblings sat across from him. Adeline beamed; Henry had a softer smile, though no less sincere. Empty mason jars rested beside them. The darkness had receded enough to see clearly. Dozens of small lights floated around the boxcar, surrounding them, casting a flickering golden glow over everything.

Fireflies.

Pure wonder flooded through James, warm and light. The sight stunned him into silence. Before he knew it, Adeline had pressed another jar into his hands, the glass cold and smooth on his palms. Lights swirled within. The metal lid had tiny holes pricked into it.

Adeline settled herself beside Henry again and gave James an encouraging nod. “C’mon, then, open it.”

Thrill danced across the boy’s shoulders. His hands shaky, he slowly twisted the lid open and set it aside. The fireflies drifted upward from the jar to join the others. Some settled on the walls and floor, on the crates and hay. Some lingered in the air. One landed on his hand, a glimmer of warmth on his skin.

“Oh,” he breathed, finding his voice at last.

The syllable proved enough for Adeline’s excitement to spill over. “The station had food, so we took some”—a nod toward a pile of snacks—“but they had jars as well, so we nicked a few ‘cause we’d spotted fireflies in the field. But we still had to put holes in the lids. Rather tricky, that part.” A firefly landed on her knee. She gently cupped the bug in her hands, then released it into the air again. It floated away.

“We figured it out,” Henry added. “The holes. Found a hammer and nails. We returned those, afterward.”

Adeline nodded. “The engineer’d gone to get tea at the station, and we heard him say the train would be stuck a fair bit longer. We really thought we’d be back sooner, still, but it— it took a while to make the holes and catch enough bugs and everything.” A note of genuine apology softened her tone. “Sorry about that. We just— we wanted to keep it a surprise ‘cause we caught fireflies at home once and it made us all happy, and you haven’t been feeling well, so—”

Her words evoked a strong sense of familiarity, and nostalgia swept over James as a clearer memory returned to him. They had done something similar before, in the mansion. He remembered padding down the halls together one night, sneaking out into the garden, catching fireflies in jars, releasing them beneath a blanket they’d draped between two trees.

Adeline took a much-needed breath and grinned at him again. “Surprise! D’you— oh, don’t cry!”

“’m not crying,” he mumbled, rubbing tears from his eyes. The firefly that had been resting on his hand drifted away. “’s the hay, got in my eyes.” He set the jar on the wood beside him. The floating flickers of gold still blurred along with his vision. He bowed his head and covered his face with his right forearm.

“D’you like it?” Henry’s voice, soft and hesitant.

A shaky breath of a laugh escaped James. He inhaled and nodded, feeling a soft smile on his face. “I do, yeah. Really, it’s— it’s brilliant. Thanks.”

“D’you, um— feel any better?”

The ache in his ribs had lessened; the fuzziness in his mind had eased; the wariness that had laced itself into his frame had faded. He didn’t know how long it would stay that way. But he did feel better.

So he nodded, and honesty rang in his voice. “Yeah.”

—

The freight train shuddered back into motion soon afterward. The children cracked the boxcar door further open to give the fireflies more freedom to fly away, to vanish into the darkness of the night. Many stayed within the car for a while longer, though.

The wheels rattled along the tracks, and the boxcar shook, but a gentle warmth lingered in James’ chest. The golden lights had imprinted themselves on his mind. He still saw them when he closed his eyes. In the company of crates and hay and fireflies and his siblings, he slept restfully for the first time in weeks.