#stories-to-help-you-sleep

[happythoughtswithstefania]

Happy Thoughts – Sleep Story for Grownups – A Passional Karma-Pt 3   Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Positive Affirmations And Audio Stories podcast. We’re carrying pn with the conclusion of a  very special Japanese story today, so why not settle in and have a listen! It was written by Lafcadio Hearn. We're continuing with our Sleep Stories series-and this is part 3 of this traditional story. It’s got a bit of mystery and a bit of chill! Coffee fuels us up ... donations keep us going... please pop over to ko-fi for a coffee donation if you'd like to financially support our work. If you would like to get more inspiration and motivation, there are lots of inspirational positive videos, messages and artwork over there. https://ko-fi.com/happythoughts Many thanks, your listens, likes, subscribes and support mean the world to us. This podcast is available on Spreaker, iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, iHeartRadio and most podcast platforms and apps. If you like what you hear please feel free to share and to leave a review on your site of choice. Visit my Bandcamp page for more inspiration affirmations, meditations and stories for purchase and sample. Helping you live the positive lifestyle that you deserve. https://stefanialintonbon.bandcamp.com __________ And for the children, do check out our other podcast "The Classic Children's Story Podcast ". Also, have a look at our YouTube channel of stories, affirmations, songs and more for kids: https://www.youtube.com/@SleepStoriesandFairyTales4U

[roobiedo]

woe, banana trishaw be upon ye 🍌🚲

happy Solarpunk Aesthetic Week! today i give you: little concept doodle. tomorrow, who knows? 🤷

been thinking about what transportation would look like in the solarpunk noon story i've been slowly working on. rickshaws have long been a part of Asian history, and bananas play a huge role in our local culture, so i made them do the kiss and this thing was born! more details below~

is this rickshaw design functional from a technical standpoint? no, but it's okay. close your eyes. take my hand. let's imagine a better world i drew a trishaw that is anatomically accurate and focus on the fancy, scientifically-questionable features instead ✨

since in my region winter doesn't exist (yet...), my main priority was designing a vehicle that can make use of our 2 beloved seasons: hot and wet <3 i was trying to do something cool with the concept of evapotranspiration, but i don't reeeally know if this idea holds water (haha). so if any smarter folks wanna take a crack at it, i will love you forever

ok wait lemme show my inspirations

i definitely tuk some ideas from the Thai style Tuk Tuks, probably one of the most well-known modern versions of the rickshaw (the last time i rode on one my hat literally flew off in the first ten seconds. 10/10).

but my MAIN inspiration. the reason i came up with this idea in the first place...

Absolute. Bootleg. Absurdity. are you seeing this???

okay so this is in Melaka, and they are obviously tourist traps, but i love them ok. i Love them. look at how far we can push the boundaries of our silly, of our creativity. we could have this sort of whimsy EVERY DAY!!!

plus, the uncle who drove my family around last time was so enthusiastic about taking us around! he infodumped non-stop about the history and cultural significance of every landmark we passed, while laughing the whole time, and i just think that's beautiful.

and what's more solarpunk than stuffing a local beca to the brim with all the little things that we love?

look at this. imagine if they were Real, Living flowers. imagine hopping into one of these every morning. a little roving, rolling garden, taking you wherever you wish to go. each beca frame lovingly customized, harboring their own unique little ecosystems. tiny worlds to discover. imagine that subtle floral fragrance accompanying you, as you chat with your driver on the way back home. maybe you're the driver. maybe you're just a passerby, but a glimpse of that interaction is enough to make your day. maybe this can be our life. are you sold? i'm sold.

[wanderingibon]

"Every Mourn Watcher must deal with grief in their own way. "

[sleepytokenii]

These Ancient Canopies (SFW)

gn!reader x sleep token members (fluff) (headcanon) Word count: 1324

Description:

It’s august. It’s a hot and sunny day, however there’s a cool breeze to take the edge off a little. The guys arranged for you to go with them on a spontaneous camping trip for a few nights in the middle of a beautiful ancient forest.

Vessel:

o Drives your group to the campsite, checks everyone in at the reception desk, and ensures you have the perfect spot.

o Packs extra marshmallows just for you two to share when everyone’s gone to bed.

o Offers to build the tent himself, places a camping chair down next to your tent for you to laugh at him from whilst he cocks it up.

o He has brought the biggest tent he could find to share with you, so you can bring your home comforts. Surprises you with a body length hot water bottle to keep you warm.

o Sings hauntingly beautiful songs under the canopy of trees whilst you all sit around the campfire drinking hot chocolate, all wrapped up in blankets and beanies.

o When it’s time for bed, he fills your hot water bottle with freshly heated water, and pulls you in for a snuggle to share the heat. Your large duvet is a perfect touch, but nothing beats the warmth Vessel radiates.

o In the morning, he wakes you up to soft fluttery kisses on your cheek as he hums a soft melody, stroking your head gently.

o Makes you breakfast in bed and gives you time to get up and ready for the day.

o Organises a couple’s activity away from the rest of the guys for some 1-on-1 time.

II:

o Hops out of the van first and holds his hand out to help you out, carefully watching you to make sure you don’t fall.

o Brings matching Oodies for you both, much to the amusement of the rest of the group. You look forward to the cosiness.

o Gets frustrated when the poles of the tent come out of their socket, but accepts your help gratefully when you notice his frustration.

o Taps along on a log he is sitting on whilst Vessel sings around the campfire. The vibes are immaculate.

o Whispers sweet nothings in your ear every so often, making you feel all warm and gooey inside.

o He doesn’t want to ask, but smiles and nods when you ask if he wants to be little spoon.

o Holds your hands close to his chest as you fall sleep curled up against each other. Peppers your hands with light kisses to comfort you.

o Wakes you up with “good morning beautiful, how did you sleep?” and hands you a steaming cup of tea/coffee with a biscuit whilst he sips on his can of red bull.

o Takes you on a romantic walk through the forest with a little picnic he arranged with the on-site restaurant. Brings a picnic blanket and some fresh juice to sip on with a view overlooking the most stunning landscape. You’re made to feel like royalty.

III:

o Cannot wait to get out of the van and give you a big bear hug, as if he hadn’t just snoozed with his head on your shoulder for the last half an hour of the journey.

o Does a lil boogeywoogey when he finishes putting up the tent, feeling proud of himself for beating the others. You give him a round of applause and he takes a bow with a smirk.

o Enjoys walking down to the little stream with you to collect sticks and any other kindling he could find for the fire. Doesn’t let you carry too much, he doesn’t want you to hurt yourself or trip.

o Walks around the forest with a ‘lil basket collecting any mushrooms he stumbles across…for um…tea? Yeah we’ll go with that.

o Brings a blanket to the campfire to lay on, allowing you to lie with him and cuddle whilst listening to the melodies coming from Vessel’s lips.

o Carries you back to the tent because you’re too sleepy to walk. Tucks you up into bed and gives you a long kiss on the lips, before leaving to head back to the guys for a while longer.

o You wake up first, this man can sleep forever. His short, dyed blonde hair sticking up in all sorts of directions. Your giggle causes him to stir in his sleep, hand reaching out to find your warm waist and pulls you back into him. You fall back asleep with your ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

o Your eyes flutter open again, III’s fingertips gently running up and down your spine. Goosebumps rise all over your body, your head feeling slightly dizzy from the contact.

o III tries his best to make you an omelette, but fails miserably and ends up just making you scrambled eggs, calling them ‘fancy.’ Keeps asking you “do you like it?” with adorable puppy dog eyes. How could you say no?

o Whilst everyone is chilling in a circle at the camp, III finds himself climbing a tree to get the perfect vantage point, before throwing little twigs and pebbles towards you guys. A child at heart, honestly.

IV:

o Carries your duffel bag in one hand, a crate of beer in the other. “Gotta stay hydrated, yano?” he winks and laughs. You roll your eyes and flash him a smile.

o Drapes his favourite leather jacket over your shoulders when it gets dark and cold, adamant its fine, despite your worry that it’ll stink of campfire smoke.

o Tells crude jokes around the campfire, in an attempt to hopelessly flirt with you. Your head falls back as you belly laugh. He smiles, loving to see you happy.

o Brings his guitar of course, you bet your ass he’s serenading you as he performs with Vessel and II. The atmosphere is truly alive.

o Lots. Of. PDA. IV loves showering you in kisses and will be holding your hand or waist at any time he can, stroking your sensitive skin. He is always warm to the touch so you welcome it happily.

o Holds open the tent ‘door’ for you when you go to bed. Whilst you snuggle under the covers, he gives you a long, passionate kiss before stroking your face. “I am so in love with you, you make my life worth living” IV admits, causing you to blush and slam your lips together once more. When you finally separate, you confess your mutual love.

o The next morning he enters the tent with a bag of fresh pastries from the campsite restaurant, smiling widely as he says “Good morning my love, I brought you a little gift, how did you sleep?” with a kiss on your head. Your heart has never felt fuller. How did you get so lucky?

o IV leads you to believe you’re going for a romantic stroll in the forest, but soon turns off the path and leads you down to none other than a tree tops course! As someone who loves being an adrenaline junkie, your grin beams at him. He blushes, knowing he’d done well at picking the activity. You’re tugging on his arm to hurry him up, but he stops in his tracks. “Don’t get too excited and use up all your energy now, save it for the zipwire at the end!” he winks. You squeal and run ahead as he laughs behind you.

o Buys two copies of the video the company captured of you both going down the zipwire. IV enjoyed the view, making the odd sarcastic comment. “oh…BYE THEN!” He shouts then giggles as you fly past him screaming. When you finally get back on the ground, he cuddles you as an attempt to stop your jelly legs from giving in. He kisses you on your head, telling you how proud he is of you for doing such an activity.

-

A/N – Hey!! I think this is the first time I’ve had enough creative juices to write since I was what…16?! (24 now)

I really hope you enjoyed whatever this is, I still don’t know the name for the format haha. If you did like, and would like to read more in future, please feel free to show it some love! (or don’t, I won’t force you) <3

[hikarry]

"You have no idea," Crowley whispers, leaning in closer still, his lips hovering just above the angel's. "Once I have you all to myself, I'll show you such sinful things, you'll forget you were ever an angel…"

I am sick, I am depressed and my adhd is acting up, therefore all claims that I might be projecting onto Crowley are all irrelevant

[heyacris]

Can't sleep right now, I'm daydreaming about hypothetical routes and the good and bad endings to a Blush Blush visual novel

[spoopyandtired]

what if I posted vampire klapollo fic with toxic Kristoph focus. what if I did that. Would any of y'all be interested in that

[flowerakatsuka]

i took this screenshot while watching sakura yesterday bc i liked the lighting and pose, but it's been on my mind all freaking day. the reason why kara's the only one still fucking around & drinking with his biker buddies is because that phone call he ran to get was a rejection. he tried to find something to do to help out, but failed. he struggled to find work back in s1, too, so it makes me wonder if he seemed to give up bc he doubted if he could actually land a job like his brothers...

[demigodofhoolemere]

I’ve been seeing this float around on Facebook lately and it’s bugging the crud out of me:

What is with everyone’s obsession with insisting it’s bad to need to be rescued? For as long as the human race has been on the planet, people have had problems that they needed other people’s help to resolve. Needing help is not a failing nor should it be the takeaway from these princesses’ stories as if it’s a bad thing that makes them weak. Yes, they do need help. Your point?

Snow White and Aurora were both under a curse that rendered each of them effectively dead. Were they supposed to magically wake themselves up? I’d want to be rescued if I were them. Plus, breaking it down to “she needed a prince” belittles the efforts of the Seven Dwarfs and the Three Good Fairies, who did most of the legwork in the resolution of their respective movie plots out of deep platonic love for the girls under their care. Then there’s Cinderella, who lived in an abusive household. It’s not a weakness that she wasn’t able to get out of that situation on her own, and once again, giving all the credit to the prince (and credit where credit is due, he did search far and wide for her and was able to take her away from that life in the end) detracts from the aid provided by the Fairy Godmother who enabled her to get out in the first place. All of these ladies had more helpers than just their princes, and it is because of the combined love and efforts of all of these people that our heroines were able to have their happy endings. There are plenty of great stories where the heroine is able to fight for herself, but these particular stories aren’t about that because these ladies are each in terrible circumstances where they simply don’t have the ability to do so. They do what they can, but in the end they can’t save themselves alone and there’s nothing wrong with that. These are beautiful stories about having people in your life that value you enough to fight for you when you can’t fight for yourself. Wouldn’t we all want someone to come to our rescue when there’s nothing we can do about our situation? Is it not a good and comforting moral to show that there are people in your corner who will show up for you no matter what the circumstances?

The other thing that’s bugging me about this:

Leia has to be rescued. By a man, and at that, one who could technically be seen as a prince. No one bats an eye at this, because it’s understood that she’s being held prisoner on the Death Star and couldn’t possibly be expected to get out of that on her own. It’s not seen as a weakness that someone had to come for her and take her away from there. Leia is awesome and is rightfully acknowledged as a great heroine, but she also needs help sometimes, because everybody does.

So WHY do people get so hung up on these princesses who also shouldn’t be expected to get out of their own prison cells of eternal sleep or abusive family by themselves? Why the strong negative reaction to girls needing outside help in such serious scenarios? For all that people say these stories teach girls to sit and wait for a man to save them, the stories themselves absolutely never try to say that, and frankly, with the opposite trend in recent years of fictional women who have to do everything on their own and can’t be shown to need help because they have to be the Strong Female Character, I’d be far more concerned about the impact that would have on girls. Far better to say you might need help at some point in your life than to instill the idea that you’re not a strong girl or not good enough if you can’t do everything by yourself.

Anyway. Justice for the classic Disney princesses.

[vimbry-moved]

it's sad how many reviews and stuff around tmbg seem to centre linnell as the sole dark and creepy writer of the band, never really crediting flansburgh too. do "hide away folk family," "dirt bike," "rabid child," "black ops," "cloisonné" mean nothing to them, smh.

[divinekangaroo]

Was thinking while watching that scene where Pol tells Ada about her abortion.

Polly really doesn't take on the mum role in the family to my mind, or even the matriarch/aunt tbh. And I think, there was some summary somewhere that referred to her as the consigliere and while she does perform a certain bouncing-board, plan formation role with Tommy (and only with Tommy, and only with insight into certain parts of his plans; I'm struggling to think of times the others listen to her without Tommy backing her up, S3 as example of when they don't), her other behaviours in the family also mean this isn't her role at all.

She's the wild older sister who is loving and explosive and hurtful, and incredibly, incredibly fragile, afraid and she feels so very scared, vulnerable and alone, most of the time. She just wants all her loved ones to be happy and safe and in achieving that, Tommy is frequently as much of an obstacle as he is the vehicle to get her that. I do headcanon that Polly lives 99% of her life in fear and on that edge of breakdown, it's just that she's lived with it so long she probably doesn't even acknowledge it any more. Her reactivity is so high.

So yeah, it's no wonder Tommy sort of plays that joint patriarch-matriarch role (arranging marriages etc), because Polly is *not* playing the matriarch.

[novelconcepts]

the truly problematic thing about having insanely vivid dreams just about every night--and i mean the kind of vivid where you remember details days or even weeks later, like it's just another normal-ass memory--is that you wind up losing track on an emotional level of what's real. like. i know that was a dream. obviously it was a dream. but some part of my brain misses it like it really happened. i am painfully, achingly nostalgic for people i've never met, places i've never been, shit that literally could not ever happen--but i feel as though i remember. which is just the most unhinged thing, right? like, i remember going on a run that took me over a fence into Disneyland, and i remember having to take a shortcut through a Chinese restaurant, but it was fine, because Erika Ishii was there, and they'd done this before, so no worries. right? no! obviously not! why do i remember this with such visceral clarity three weeks later?

oh, what's your favorite episode of this TV show? the one i dreamt. yeah, don't worry about it, it didn't make coherent sense, but it was in the feelings, right? my ship had the best fucking scene. no, of course i can't explain it to you, that's madness. it involved a rocking chair. don't worry about it. it's fine. it's super important i don't accidentally reference this in a fic someday, though.

this shit is deranged, dude. missing people who are quite literally my own brain's invention with an actor's face. missing places that are a meld of a movie i saw once, my childhood bedroom, the second floor of my high school, and inter-dimensional space. like. no! no, this shouldn't be a thing! is, though. the clarity of it. just fucking bananas. this has been happening to me my whole goddamn life.

[threbe]

I wonder if Merlin convinced/asked King uther to adopt Arthur

Than she set up Excalibur so Arthur could be king

Why is Merlin going to these lens for Arthur of all people considering there have been other chaos users and as long as Merlin's been around I'm sure there have been other humans she could have given Excalibur to and help them become a great ruler a king in order to use chaos why does she have to

pick Arthur pacifically I wonder I know it goes with the Arthurien Legends and all but why is it in this story Merlin shows Arthur that's just one of the many things that was never really cleared up like there's a bit more about their past we don't know and then there is the stuff that happened in between the end of seven deadly sins till what we're looking at currently I've been trying to piece the timeline together

From what I can tell it goes in this order

First we have the end of the seven deadly sins after the god-awful chaos ark

Then we have the safe by light movie which I'm still convinced a large majority of this fandom has not watched including myself I got the screenshots I have with Arthur and Merlin in it off of a YouTube clip

Then there's the next part from the night from the beginning of the manga who the age the characters when they've got to the Crystal caves I can't remember his name right now

And he showed how Arthur recruited him and it seems this happened right after the demon King's my asthma was affecting the southern Britannia and our large amount of people in it right after the attack the when the demon King finally was defeated or whatever around this time so could Arthur's personality have begun to split and he not know it at the time where chaos was in control and then he would go back to normal and then at some point it was just completely chaos and control

Cuz looking back at it Arthur's outfit is the exact same as it was from the movie unless Merlin just made him multiple copies of the same outfit cuz they were working on just rebuilding Camelot at the time so focusing on appearance and what they look like wasn't probably a top priority which is understandable so Arthur just has multiple of the same outfits in different colors because even in color we see that this outfit is the same one from the movie just in Black

Or maybe the my asthma was just so bad that it had a longer lasting effect on Britannia I'm wondering and this takes a place a bit later this could be a year later from when the movie was set because if I'm correct from what people have told me king and Diane were getting married in the

movie so I'm guessing it took place a few weeks maybe a few months to maybe several months later cuz that's how long it takes to plan a wedding or whatever so this could be several months later and Arthur started to turn at that point and maybe at

first Merlin didn't notice it because around her even though he was still with seemingly seems to be depressed about everything that happened with Camelot and trying to rebuild it he was still trying to maintain his own personality but glimpses of chaos would come through

I'm trying to piece together the timeline and what's happening with Arthur's personality because it's clear like we all been saying from the beginning it's been chaos and control not Arthur and personal having Spirit magic I think will be a driving Factor helping bringing the real Arthur back there was also the theory and I mentioned in another post before that I saw from Reddit where someone had

mentioned that Arthur could have been being controlled by the spirits and Excalibur but I think it's pretty clear especially when looking at the anime and color and you see Arthur's eyes change you see more white in his eyes than his own color of his eyes which are purple meaning that chaos truly is slowly taking over Arthur

(sorry I don't have a visual for this right now Tumblr won't let me post any more pictures in this post )

I'm assuming Arthur is Chaos's first true host it's had full length too I

believe before maybe at some point on chaos was creating humans it puts larger parts of itself in certain humans so that way maybe one day it could have a host and maybe Excalibur was always the key to that but it got corrupted over time and at

some point the Lady of the lake meant Merlin and told her about the key to chaos and maybe that's why she used Excalibur to wake and Arthur since Excalibur seems to just be a chaos key I don't think it was meant to hold the spirits of the heroes but for some reason it did and now that chaos is more free and had gained more control over time I'm

guessing within a year or maybe even a couple years it fully consumed Arthur and about 10 years ago from what pellegard said that's when Arthur's fully started to change because it was around part two after the time skipping for nights and and Donnie met pellegard he mentioned he hadn't been able to fully understand Arthur's motives and almost 10 years something major had had to change where Arthur was willing to fully let chaos consume him

In Merlin disappeared or maybe chaos trapped her away or something but we can tell that Merlin has been active there have been hints that she's possibly hiding in lions , and then there's gwaian who I believe isn't like a clone or hybrid or anything I believe she's just like a normal baby that Merlin saw had magic potential maybe like she did with Vivian and Arthur so she left the granny golem with her to train her to use magic and sunshine is something Merlin enchanted on to her as it's next host so Sunshine could be active again and possibly used to defeat Arthur or at least stop chaos at some point the same can be sailed the Lady of the lake who I believe still had some magic left over from one Merlin had the seven deadly sins send their magic towards the leg during their battle with the demon king and there was some residue magic left over and the lady of the late gave it to Lance a lot which is why he's so overpowered and people say he's on the same level as the seven deadly sins is because he has some of their magic in him

[tojiscrack]

Recommend us some good jjk things u already read 🎀

say please 😐

unfortunately, i don’t read jjk fics… like, at all. i have two main reasons why:

i write them, sure, but i have this intense fear of reading jjk/reader fics (hypocritical, i know, but idc 🌝) simply ‘cause of the fact that i have these characters a certain way in my mind: VERY CANONICALLY-CENTRED.

when reading, i’d enjoy that with only a TOUCH of fanon, seeing as it’s usually romantic, reader-insert, love interest fics, and we’ve only ever actually seen two couples in jjk, and not even in depth — miwa and mechamaru + toji and mamaguro — therefore we can’t exactly say for certain what other characters would be like in a relationship and stuff: what we picture and write here is fanon.

but i did try a couple times. it just wasn’t for me, ig.

secondly, literally every gojo/reader story ever (i say gojo specifically cuz i’m only interested in reading about him and no one else 😭) has smut in it.

unpopular take, but i dislike smut. very much.

so essentially, i’m useless in this department.

p.s. that’s not to say that you yourself can’t read other fics and enjoy them the way they are. that’s great for you, and lovely for the author, but my personal opinion is that i just can’t, and that’s alr. i’ll silently move on and write my own :)

[dootznbootz]

People should read/watch/listen to the source BEFORE they get into the fandom. You will gain ideas and know what is canon before the fanon consumes the canon entirely and you cannot escape.

[askbensolo]

Journal Entry #52: don’t fall in love with boys who write, ‘cause they edit and edit till the story’s just right

I turned and slammed my fist into the wall. And then I yelled as loud as I could, and did it again even harder. And if that sounds like something I had already learned not to do in front of her, well—let’s just say I’m a slow learner.

“Ben,” she murmured from her place on the white stone bench, fiddling quietly with her fingers in her lap.

I tried to catch my breath, then slumped my back hard against the stucco wall and started picking off the scraped skin from the side of my hand. It stung, but I kind of liked it—it’s hard to explain. “Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I just—I just wasn’t expecting to hear you to say that. Sorry.”

And what had she said, the reader may ask? Well—you might recall what she had said in that voice recording from earlier: that she wanted me, she needed me, she couldn’t live without me whether or not anyone else thought it was a good idea—all that stuff that made my ego go brrrrr—

Well, I come all the way to Ryloth and track her down, and she takes me into the depths of her father’s courtyard gardens where everything looks like a fairy tale, and tells me that: actually? She’s now considering a life of solitude, like the Jedi of old.

WHAT.

“I was in a really bad place when I sent you that message,” Fannie said quietly. “I…had just received some very difficult news, and I was feeling very alone, and I didn’t know why you weren’t talking to me…” She looked up at me, then, with the distrust of one scrutinizing a stranger. “To be honest, Ben, I don’t even know why you’re here right now.”

“Why else?” I asked, sinking down to the ground and matching the intensity of her gaze. “‘Cause I love you.”

It used to be difficult to say. But now, it was just like stating a fact. Water is blue. Space is black. Sand is coarse, rough and irritating. I love you.

But the words that had once made her light up and blush and giggle and look up at me with big sparkling eyes had no effect, this time, and her face, normally sweet and open, looked tired and closed-off. “Ben, you haven’t spoken to me for weeks. And it was certainly not for my lack of trying. But…it was actually rather helpful for me, because it gave me just what I needed in order to come to the conclusion that…that this probably isn’t right for us. Luke thought so, too. I went to visit him, a few weeks ago, and…”

“Yeah, I know you did,” I cut in quickly, to stop her from re-summarizing that whole saga all over again. “I was there. I overheard.”

She looked stunned. “You were—there?”

“Yeah, I was there,” I said, and it felt kind of good to say so, as if by doing so I was winning some kind of argument—I don’t know what, though. “I just so happened to be visiting the exact same weekend, and I was going over to his office to meet him, and then I overheard you talking to him, and I heard everything the two of you said. Or…most things. I heard what he said to you, anyway.”

Fannie frowned. “…So that’s why you weren’t talking to me,” she said stiffly, then cast her gaze down to her lap. “Well…I hadn’t decided yet, at that point. Not completely. I had decided mostly, but I still wanted to talk to you, first. That’s why I was asking you if we could talk—so that we could figure it out, together. But then, you kept on ignoring me, and left me to decide on my own—so, I was forced to come to my own decision, and perhaps it’s a good thing that I did, because—”

“Wait,” I interrupted, because I needed to know. “Did…did Luke tell you about what happened? Between me and him?”

Fannie looked at me and squinted, a little bit. “No. Why? Did something happen?”

Oh. So she didn’t know. A surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one.

Well, that was perfect, I thought to myself. Because—that meant she could hear it from me, instead of from Luke. It meant I could tell the story my way, and, maybe, make myself look a little less bad—

And then, I had a sudden thought:

Maybe it meant I didn’t need to tell the story at all.

Ooh.

Ooooooh.

Snoke? Snoke, was that you?

But, it wasn’t Snoke, and I knew it.

It was Ben. Pure, unadulterated Ben.

“Ben,” Fannie said, breaking through my thoughts, sounding sort of serious and sort of alarmed. “You’re…you’re frightening me. What happened between you and Luke?”

“Well…I talked to him,” I said slowly. “After you left. I didn’t want to freak you out, so I waited for you to leave, and then…then I went, and I talked to Luke.”

I stopped there, trying to figure out what to say next.

“…Yes?” Fannie urged, her eyes boring through me. “And then what happened?”

Well, I didn’t have any time to think. I decided to just roll with whatever started coming out of my mouth first.

“…And then I said, ‘Uncle Luke, I heard what you said to Fannie, and it kinda hurts my feelings, but it totally makes sense, and I really, really respect you for looking out for her.’” I pressed my lips together and looked at her to see how she’d react.

Oh, man. That was such a hot steaming load, even I couldn’t buy it.

Fannie blinked a couple of times, processing this information. (Disinformation?)

“…Okay,” she said slowly. “…And then?”

She…she bought it??

Well, I was really in it now. I couldn’t go back. I could only keep going forward.

“And then,” I went on, floundering for my next words, “he…he told me not to talk to you anymore, and—well—see—that’s why I haven’t been texting you all this time.”

Oh! Okay. Okay. So…not only are we not telling her the story…we are actually telling her a completely new one that we just made up right now. Okay. Okay! Cool cool cool.

“Luke…told you…not to talk to me?” Fannie echoed, looking sort of shocked. “That…doesn’t sound like something he’d do at all.”

Yeah, and there’s actually a really great explanation for that, I thought to myself dryly.

But, I just shrugged. “Yeah, well—he told me he thought you were too attached to me. That you’d be too tempted to start things up with me again. It didn’t really seem right to me, either, but—hey, he’s the Jedi Master, isn’t he? I just…figured he knew best.”

Fannie didn’t say anything back. But, I had her rapt attention, and her big brown eyes looked very big, and very sad.

“It was…really hard not to talk to you,” I continued, looking at her sincerely. (Except, not actually, because that would have required me to, you know, not be lying.) “I really wanted to talk to you. I missed you. A lot. I saw your voice message come in, but I didn’t open it. And then I couldn’t take it anymore, and I finally did open it—like, today, actually—and I heard how awful you sounded, and I couldn’t take it, and I had to come see you.”

You know what’s funny? It didn’t feel like lying. The more drawn-out this whole thing became, the more I actually started to…believe my own version of events. I mean…well…yeah! A lot of the emotions behind it were real, anyway—I really did feel like Luke had wronged us by meddling in our relationship and I really did miss her and I really was glad to see her right now. I sure liked this version of events better than the real version. So…why shouldn’t this version be the real one, instead? And by just…feeding it to her, I could make it true.

For the first time in a long time, I began to feel like everything between me and Fannie was gonna be…okay.

Huh. Who knew? The power to alter reality wasn’t exclusive to an occult Dathomirian magic, or hidden in some secret Sith holocron. No—the power to alter reality lived in my very tongue. And I sealed my new reality into existence with one final little lie:

“Ben…sorry, forgive me, but…are you…are you telling the truth right now?”

I paused, and licked my lips, and said the magic word.

“Yes.”

I could almost imagine a deep, resonant chime, like a deafening gong, rumbling out of my false confession and rippling out and forever altering the entire fabric of the universe and making it all, suddenly, true—

Except, no. It wasn’t that easy. I would have to keep chasing after and mending the tears myself, to keep the fabric of my new little universe from falling apart.

Fannie shook her head like she had a headache. “I…I should talk to Luke.”

“No,” I told her quickly, ready with my needle and thread. “I—well—I don’t want him to know I talked to you. I promised him I wouldn’t. I don’t want him to find out.”

Miraculously, she nodded. But, not as one who was fully awake—she nodded as if she were in a dreamlike trance. I don’t think I was really all that convincing. I think she was just too overwhelmed to really think critically.

That, and I had probably built up enough trust with her by now that she didn’t think I’d just lie to her face.

“This…yes, this changes a lot,” she said, knitting an imaginary scarf with her fingers. “I…Ben, I’m sorry. I misjudged you. I thought—well, I assumed—you’ve had trouble replying to my messages before, so I jumped to conclusions, and—no, I’m sorry. Why would Luke—? I still don’t understand, but—no, this—this changes a lot of things.”

I stood up. Slowly.

And approached her.

And sat down next to her on the bench.

And held my hand out toward hers.

And looked her in the big brown eyes.

She looked at me, and hesitated, then placed her hand in mine.

W-o-w. It had been weeks since we’d last talked. But since we’d been on different worlds since the start of September, we hadn’t touched in months (well, two of ‘em, I guess—but two still counts). Touching her was like touching a live wire. I started—well…feeling things. Things I’d never felt my whole life up until sometime this summer. My heart started pounding—but this was the good kind of heart rate increase.

I think she started feeling things, too.

We looked at each other.

I put my free hand under her chin, and tilted her face up a little, and didn’t look away from her eyes, and brought my face reeeal close to hers till we were breathing each other’s breath, and nuzzled her cheek with my nose, and pressed my lips to her jawline, and drew back and looked her in the eyes again. Just to see what would happen.

Well…we started swappin’ cooties, that’s what happened. And I’m not in the business of writing that kind of stuff, so I’ll just tell you we kept all our clothes on and we still didn’t kiss on the mouth exactly and we never hit any bases but just messed around on the infield like five feet out from the batter’s box and you’ve probably seen worse on middle school campuses anyway—but I’m still skipping ahead regardless.

“No, wait, stop,” she mumbled, muffled by my hair. This was about twenty minutes later. (Maybe? It’s always so hard to tell.) “I—I don’t want to be doing this. I just told you that I don’t want to be with anyone—that I want to dedicate myself to the Force—at least for now.”

I got up off of her and knelt down in the grass and grinned and wiped off my mouth on my sleeve, because I was all slobbery (see, I told ya—I don’t write romance flimsibacks). “With all due respect, Fan? You’re not cut out for celibacy.”

She glared at me as she wiped my spit off her cheek. “I really think that’s my call to make, not yours.”

“Hey, I’m just repeating what you said, sister.”

“What did I say? And when?”

“That whole time I was kissin’ up your neck just now. You were going ‘I’m not cut out for celibacy I’m not cut out for celibacy’ under your breath. I could hear you.” I laughed at her, and she flushed.

“I…I didn’t know you could hear.”

“Well—your mouth was right next to my ear, sweetheart, of course I could hear!”

“Oh.”

I laughed again and kissed her on the cheek. She giggled, embarrassed, and let me do it.

Things almost felt like they used to.

But…they weren’t. Not yet, anyway.

“…No. No.” She detangled herself from me and sat up against the wall and buried her face in her hands. “I…can’t let myself change my mind, just because you’re here. Even if it wasn’t your fault that you weren’t talking to me. No—I made up my mind. I can’t be in a relationship right now. Not with everything going on with Pennie—I’m too vulnerable to unhealthy attachments.”

“Wait—what’s going on with Pennie?” I asked, shuffling over on my knees and sitting next to her. “Besides what you told me last spring?”

When she had told me last spring about her youngest sister’s…relationship with their father, it had taken a long time for her to spit it out, and she had done so amidst heavy sobs. This time, it came out as easily as a breath, and her eyes were dry and hollow.

“Well, Ben: Pentarra has offered to make my sister one of his wives.”

I stared. He had already made her one of his dancers. But…one of his wives?

Ew.

“But…she’s his daughter.”

Fannie nodded.

“That’s…disgusting.”

She nodded again, and nearly smiled—the kind of smile one smiles when life has become so cruel as to be almost humorous. And for a second, I felt horrible that I was—maybe—I don’t know—taking advantage of her current vulnerable state to try to get her to stay with me and be mine—

But then, I reframed it in my head, and felt…not so bad. I wasn’t taking advantage of anything. She needed me—now more than ever. She’d said so herself, in that voice recording. She’d been in a rough place when she recorded it, sure—but, isn’t that when people are at their most honest?

“I am the only one in my family who has been willing to say out loud that this is wrong,” Fannie went on. “Not everyone approves, necessarily—but no one else will speak out against it. My sister hates me, because she feels I don’t think I can make her own decisions. She sees this as her wedding. Everyone is preparing for it as if it were a wedding. Well, it’s no wedding to me—it is merely a perverse charade, and I will not—cannot—honor their false union. I have felt very alone, and I know that right now I am very susceptible to developing an unhealthy attachment—so, I’m sorry, Ben, even if we did share the same beliefs about the Force…now’s just not a good time for me.”

“What is an unhealthy attachment, anyway?” I asked, then.

“An attachment that would cause me to place my trust and hope in it, rather than in the Force,” Fannie explained, almost mechanically. “And I cannot afford distraction at such a crucial time in my life.”

I looked her in the eyes. “But…at such a crucial time in your life, you’d still be alone,” I told her.

She looked out into the distance. “The Force is all I need, Ben. I must remind myself of that.”

“No,” I argued, and reached over and turned her face to look at me. “No. I may not believe all your beliefs, Fan—not with the same level of conviction that you do, anyway—but I do know your beliefs and I know what the Jedi teach. I’ve heard you say so yourself: the Force isn’t a person. It’s an impersonal energy. You could be as close to the Force as Master Yoda himself, and you’d still be all alone, and have no one. The Force doesn’t love you. The Force doesn’t know you. The Force doesn’t give a crap about you—it can’t. When you’re staring at the ceiling and crying your eyes dry in the middle of the night till your ribcage aches and your fingers go numb, the Force will not feel a damn—darn—thing for you. It’s a power you can draw from, a source of supernatural energy, whatever—but at the end of the day? It doesn’t freaking care. Because it can’t. It’s just a thing. Midichlorians, or whatever the frick. You’re gonna place your trust and hope in that? You’d still be alone. All alone.”

She looked like she was about to say something—to pose an argument, or something—but she stopped short. Her eyes widened in a swell of panicked horror and filled with tears, and her hands started to tremble. Her breathing became kind of short and ragged. I could feel her heart opening up and splitting like a huge, raw wound.

Ooh. I’d gotten her good.

And so what if it came at the expense of shaking the very foundations of her most deeply-held religious beliefs? If something couldn’t hold up to a good shaking, was it even worth believing in?

I saw doubt in her eyes. Tasted it in the air all around her. Wondered what Uncle Luke would think of that.

Maybe Luke had been right about me, after all: Ben Solo, corrupter of Jedi.

…Or maybe of just one Jedi in particular.

I reached out, and held both her hands tight in mine to still her trembling. Pulled her a little closer to me.

“Fannie. I’m a person,” I told her slowly, stamping out each word in durasteel. “I know you, and I love you. I could be with you, in all of this. I want to be there for you, and with you.” I laid a gentle kiss on top of her tear-stained cheek. “The Force is great and all, and if you wanna build your life around it, cool—but it’s not a person, it’s a thing. You need a someone, Fannie, not a something. So, all I’m saying is…” I kissed her other cheek, and then her nose. “Let me be your someone. Please.”

She whimpered. I felt it again—the splintering of her heart.

“I…I want to say yes, Ben, I just…don’t know…”

“Fan. Please. I’m not saying this for me. I’m saying this for you.” (This was something I said because it sounded good, not because it was actually true.)

But she shook her head and blinked out some more tears, and I spent several more minutes persuading and a few more minutes cajoling and I even threw in a little begging for fun—still, I couldn’t get her to say yes, and my patience, which you will be surprised to learn I’ve never had in high reserves anyway, began to wear thin.

“Well…think about it,” I said finally, maybe a little rougher than I meant to, turning out from her again and sitting back against the wall. “And—think about it quickly, if you can. I need to get back to Naboo tonight. Tomorrow morning, latest. I just spent the weekend on Kashyyyk with Amalia—”

“You were with Amalia all weekend?” Fannie interrupted suddenly, like she was waking up, her eyes wide. Her lower lip sucked in a little bit.

I blinked at her, trying to figure out what was going on (I’m a little slow like that sometimes), and I was about to go “oh, chill out, it wasn’t anything weird, we just went as friends”—

But…then it occurred to me. That…keeping my mouth shut? Kind of maybe swayed things in my favor.

So…I shrugged a little, kept my cards to myself, and looked at her to see what she’d do.

“…Are you…interested in dating people now?” Fannie asked finally. She bit her lip. “Because, you said before that you weren’t…that you weren’t interested in dating. Just interested in me.”

Oh, so now she was paying attention!

She was right. I had said that. After I’d decided to fall in love with her (because that’s how it had happened for me; I didn’t just fall in love, I had to decide to do it), part of me wondered if it would change how I saw other girls. But, it didn’t. I looked around me and nothing magical had happened and whenever I looked at women I still just saw people. And whenever I looked at Amalia, I almost saw a dude (except in certain select low-light conditions, apparently).

But Fannie didn’t need to know that.

“Weeell…” I said slowly, as if I were thinking through it, when in reality it was already thought out. “Being with you kinda made me realize…that it’s actually sort of nice to have someone around.” Which was true. “And, that I maybe would like to have a partner after all.” Which was true. “And…I don’t know. Amalia and I do get along pretty well.” Which was true.

I looked at her, and shrugged, and checked my metaphorical hand under the metaphorical table, and watched for her next move.

And, oh, wait—there was an ace in here! I whipped that out and laid it down.

“But…if I was gonna be with anyone…I’d really like it to be you…Fa’nakhra,” I whispered, stroking the back of my index finger against her cheek. And I totally butchered her name, I’m sure, but—you know? It’s the thought that counts.

And with all my cards out now, I ended my turn, and waited to see what she’d do.

Well…she folded, that’s what she did. My bluff worked, and the ace clinched it. She folded, and she folded in half, and she laid down in my lap and clasped her arms around my waist and cried and said she didn’t want to be alone—she wanted to be my girlfriend. My girlfriend! So I could finally stop with the whole “girlfriend-not-really-my-girlfriend” thing and just call her my girlfriend now. And yeah, it kinda sucks that she had to come to that decision after the really manipulate-y “what if I dated someone who wasn’t you?” instead of the slightly-less-manipulate-y “let me be your person,” but—hey—I got what I wanted, and that was the important thing to me.

Oh yeah and also getting to be there for her during this trying time—that was important to me, too, of course. Just for the record.

But…I felt like crap for lying to her about me and Luke. And, I felt like crap for kind of goading her into this position. And, I thought to myself, no—wait—if I let this go on, it’s just gonna keep getting worse and worse—I have to nip this in the bud now, or I’m gonna ruin both our lives—so…even though it hurt like hell, I gritted my teeth and pulled her up and looked her in the eyes and said, wait, no, Fan, wait…I’m sorry…this is all just a huge mess…I’ve really screwed things up…I haven’t been fair to you…and I came clean to her about everything—

Except…no, I didn’t, because that whole last paragraph was a giant freaking lie, and I just lied to you exactly like how I lied to her. What I really did was I held her in my arms and I grinned all sweet and I wiped off her tears as she was still crying and said, okay, Fan, it’s official then: you’re my girlfriend! And then I kissed her—not on the mouth, but close enough that the corners of our lips brushed, and guess what, your boi has a girlfriend now, officially.

But—didn’t you wish that it was true? Didn’t you feel happier when you thought it was? Didn’t you like me better two paragraphs ago? Don’t you hate me more now that I told you I lied? Wasn’t that a much more satisfying draft, and wasn’t I a much more likable character?

…Exactly.

See?

I should’ve just let you believe the lie.