#stop diagnosing ppl pls

[thatonebabybat]

Hey btw having depression is not a requirement for being goth and if you think it is I don't like you. That's a whole chronic illness, not a part of your "goth mindset"/"aesthetic". Please reflect on that.

[anthrophobixx]

★GET TO KNOW ME★

The name's Gina, pronouns are they/she/he (they preferred) I'm a trans genderfluid nb pan romanian/hungarian artist and u probably already know me for being that crazy bitch on twitter who's obsessed with olandy ^____^

I also have a bird app (duh) and an insta :]

C★MMISSION SLOTS: 3/3

-> !! CW FOR EYESTRAIN, BE CAREFUL WHEN FOLLOWING !! <-

if ur interested in commissioning me, here's everything you need to know ^^

ALSO ALSO I loooove making moots/friends !! I'm just very anxious, but I'm open to chat :DD

IF I DO OR SAY SMTH WRONG PLEASE LET ME KNOW ASAP, I'M VERY OPEN TO BEING CORRECTED N EDUCATED !!!

TAGS:

art - # gina's art shenanigans

inbox art requests - # inbox mischief

rambles n shi - # gina says stuff

animations - # gina's art shenanigans but...they're moving

★ dni/byf/interests/favs after cut ★

DNI

No dni, I block freely. Pro/comshippers, zionists n bigots are an immediate nono though. I'd also prefer if people who sexualize Mingus Crown specifically would not interact, I can't stop you and I'm not going to, it's just a personal discomfort of mine

Just b nice 2 me n we good ☠️

BYF

I have anxiety, depression and ptsd (all diagnosed !!) so uh be patient w me pls

My main comfort is olandy and 75% of my page is gonna be about them

I don't engage in discourse cuz it's dumb and I hate it

I ship phonesport stuff, steter, whatever the fuck if u get pissy abt that dni

I'm also hypersexual because ofc I am

IF I BLOCKED YOU IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE:

You fit in my extremely short dni

You harass and attack other people for disagreeing with u totally not directed by the way

You constantly hate on olandy once again it's my main source of comfort and also my main hyperfixation so I don't take constant hate too well (this doesn't apply if ur uncomfy w the ship and express said discomfort from time to time [I love u to death aris mwah mwah])

You said weird shit 2 me or abt my art I'm still a kid lol

Interests (bold italic = hyperfix)

Dialtown

Regular show

Garten of banban

Pokemon

Smiling friends

Poppy Playtime

Tadc

Gravity falls

Dsaf

Fnaf

The walten files

Favs

Dialtown: Jerry, Callum, Randy, Oliver, Gingi, Karen

Dsaf: Peter, Roger, Jake, Steven, Henry, Matt

Regular show: Benson, Mordecai, Rigby, Cj, Pops

Garten of Banban: Jumbo josh, toadster, banbaleena

Pokemon: Brock, Misty, Ash, Cilan, Dawn, Serena, Kiawe

Also pokemon: Hypno, Sceptile, Azumarill, Quagsire, Voltorb, Skarmory, Primeape, Hitmonlee, Charizard, Croagunk line, Alolaichu, Garchomp and a lot more

Smiling friends: Allan, Charlie (obv)

Kins

Gingi, Randy, Roger, Jake, Rigby, Cj, Ash, Misty, Serena, Mabel, Stan, Dipper, Pim. Personalitywise it really depends on the ppl I'm around

BLINKIES AND STAMPS THEY ARE SO SILLAAAAAY I LOVE EM

Oki I think that's all :33

[lokilysolbitch]

literally the least educated ppl on DID/OSDD1/PDID i've ever seen are fake claimers

these are inspired by tiktok comments i see on other systems videos:

"too many j names,,,,,,you must be faking" so true babes they actually have "can't have too many j names" in the diagnostic criteria great work you got it

"too many alters" pls open google

"me when i make up friends bc im lonely" so what if you used your brain and considered why a disorder caused by trauma....and unstable attachment to caregivers.............could correlate to someone being lonely. :D. next you should tell someone with eczema "me when my skin is just itchy🙄"

"DID is caused by trauma so why are you posting silly videos on tiktok" so actually you can be traumatized and use tiktok. funnily enough. especially in the disorder with amnesia that can make you forget you are traumatized hope this helps but maybe you can try thinking on your own next time tho okay?

"DID is only in 1% of the global population" yes babes. so in a school of 1000, 10 people will have DID. so in the millions of fucking tiktok users guess how many will have DID please learn your fucking percentages also pretty sure that statistic is outdated and doesn't count OSDD1, PDID, and undiagnosed folks

"but you're not diagnosed" yes DID only kicks in after diagnosis good catch

"they probably made up their diagnosis" that's just a theory you made up. do you want them to post their psychiatrist saying they have DID for a tiktok to prove themselves to some randos on the internet. you're not entitled to proof of diagnosis in the first place because remember. you are a rando on the internet

"whoever diagnosed you is wrong" THANK YOU SO MUCH RANDO ON THE INTERNET FOR YOUR VALID RESEARCHED UNDIAGNOSIS VIA TIKTOK COMMENT. you've truly convinced us all

"but you're young" okay so when do you think DID starts. google that. hope that helps

"but you're too old" okay so when do you think DID stops.

"these are oc's" well yes ! so if your brain makes up people to cope. that would make them original. if those people can control your body and hold different parts of your memories and you can't control them. that would likely be alters.

"faking hurts actual systems" which part of faking hurts systems. the part where hoards of people harass someone they decided was faking? the part where hoards of people don't do any research say someone is faking for reasons they pulled out of their ass? what specifically hurts systems. when people don't fucking believe them and are assholes about it for no reason?? okay so then it's not the faking that hurts systems then. it's you! go take a nap and stop having temper tantrums in peoples comment sections. people trying to find themselves actually won't hurt you or systems nearly as much as your blatant harassment and ignorance. hope this helps xoxoxo❤️❤️❤️

istg y'all really lose it when someone with dyed hair and eyeliner is a little weird or confusing. you are no better than a boomer. pls get it together people are staring

[pots-plus-pans]

someone please teach tiktok that not every hard-to-diagnose condition is pots

some dude just got a cancer diagnosis and his video before his diagnosis talking abt how his doctor’s couldn’t figure out what was going on all the comments were like “sounds like pots”

like i appreciate the sentiment, but not every condition that is hard to diagnose and causes dizziness is pots

plus pots is so much more than that, idk if it’s just me but the misinfo on tiktok abt pots at this point is getting me frustrated. no you don’t have pots bc you black out when you stand sometimes, if that happens check your iron levels and i feel for you, but pots is a 24/7 feeling shitty thing for a lot of patients. not just upon standing

if you think you have pots, go talk to your doctor or do an at-home poor man’s tilt table test if you cannot afford to see one!! but pls ppl stop diagnosing others with pots in their comments

anyone feel free to add anything if you want lol, this is just my sleepy ramblings on something i just saw

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

the anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy again here! i've never talked to a psych (self diagnosed autism) and as a teen i was p sure i had aspd (i Knew shit was strange w me and really wanted an explanation and once i figured out my mix of trauma and autism things made sense) coz lack of remorse and shit but i never actually really matched the rest of it -- i dont have substance abuse issues and never have, im p easily entertained, i've had the same three friends basically my entire life. i do though describe myself as the worlds most boring hedonist coz like yeah i sometimes have a hard time controlling my impulses and im motivated by fun but for me thats usually p simple -- easily entertained. read a book, video games, jump around to music. i AM frequently bored though?? like its my most frequent emotion and ive spent a Long time learning to cultivate my joy and really feel it properly. but im also the most easily excitable person i know. i dunno, i have v large emotions that appear then disappear quite quickly. a favourire hobby of mine since i was a kid has been to start arguments between the ppl i care abt and see how large i could make them in a single session then solve the argument w/o the ppl realising i'd manufactured and egged on the argument. which typing that out now seems uh. an interesting hobby. but late last year i told my younger brother and he laughed coz its a v me thing to do and was like "yo thats fucked. pls stop doing it to me" so since then ive mainly tried to just like playfully tease ppl in a normal way coz cognitively i understand its a fucked thing to do and im trynna be like, a decent person who doesnt go outta my way to play w ppl for funsies. which yeah that uh... maybe i Should look into aspd more again, i did a fairly shallow look into it as a teen and relating to azula as much as i did as a kid (and izaya as an older teen/young adult) was deff a sign of smth

i've followed you on this blog for a while (i think you'd only had it for a couple weeks when i first followed u?) so yeah i did know the story abt u and ur fiance! v cute

i feel like maybe we need a different identifier than "the anon who doesnt have aspd" because that might not be, uh. accurate! i have o clue why a lot of people with aspd seem to congregate around my account but i guess this is an aspd helpline now??????? whuh????

like im not complaining its just. how did i get here

also i think ive deadass used the "worlds most boring hedonist" descriptor for myself before and i deal w chronic boredom the same way you do- i have a LOT of hobbies and i plan elaborate projects and that entertains me but only temporarily

and thats the thing about aspd! it- like every other disorder- is a spectrum. you might not have substance abuse issues, and i do. you did.... your interesting hobby, and i find it morally fucked!* i have no idea your relationship with criminality, and i got fired for stealing

*i have done something similar but i have a moral policy of like, only fucking with people who Deserve It. who deserves what varies case by case and what exactly i do... i need to explain weird spiritual stuff to go in depth andyeah im not really itchin to be called crazy on tumblr dot cum

aspd in general is very misunderstood and no literature really focuses on what its like to have the disorder, only the perceived damage being around someone with the disorder will bring- which is why i initially self diagnosed thru tumblr posts from ppl talking about their symptoms in a serious educative way

sometimes i think like, maybe i don't have aspd, maybe i'm just autistic and i'm spreading misinformation- but i never really felt "at home" with other autistic people. its like- yeah i click better with other autistic people, but i'm still masking, i'm still faking, and even in this situation i can drop the mask partially but not fully. growing up with a personality disorder and trauma in communities largely filled with autistic people with trauma, very quickly teaches you that there's something different about you. it's an isolating, traumatizing feeling- my experience with this was mainly symptoms of npd, but like.... knowing you have a problem, wanting it fixed, and knowing nobody around you knows how deep the problem runs, and might even find its existence laughable or dangerous... it's isolating! and its shitty!!

generally i tend to Know if things i'm doing are bad or not, i just tend to not care in the moment, because it's better than being bored! entertainment wins out over everything. it's actually kind of terrible; i'll do stuff just to see a reaction out of people- it's like izaya, honestly, what happens when people are pushed to their breaking points?

thats kind of how i got so much into angst and psychological horror. not only did i want to break the characters, i wanted to break my audience. i'd tell my friends detailed stories about torture partly because i was interested in my story, mostly because i wanted to see their horrified reactions. i wanted to see how far was "too far," and i keep that stuff in my current narratives- i keep the pov extremely tight and do silly little tricks with narrative and formatting to make the audience feel like they're Really There

so yeah look into aspd. do it boy listen to me im the ps5 im speaking to you inside your brain. do it boy do it

[cringelordofchaos]

ok thanks @sobeksewerrat now I'm having an existential crisis again lmao,.. (/lh also thanks for making me more self aware again ? )

list of things I do that MAY be associated with ADHD and or autism.

MAY,

I don't know if I have it, in not diagnosed and no one has professionally suggested I might have it.

I made a list to organize all my thoughts and I genuinely hate the fact that I'm oversharing shit online again bc i almost never think of consequences of my actions so idk if ke oversharing is bad or good and shit now I'm anxious.

ANYGAY.

Many of these traits are not exclusive to being neurodivergent at all, I'm aware o just wanted to share my experience

Either way it doesn't really matter. ADHD doesn't really get diagnosed here often. And not many specialize in it. So what do I know

List under the cut (it is probably going to be a bit long)

I possibly stim,

I chew things constantly for example, I used to chew my shirts so much a year or two ago and all my clothes had holes bc of that. It got so bad to the point of my mom buying me a fucking pacifier. I learned how to cope by just biting my tongue or just moving my mouth in general but it sometimes hurts not having anythig to bite. When I was really young, like in elementary school, I would bite and eat my own hair and would of fucking course cough bc of it. It was all an automatic involuntary actions. I also used to bite my arm to the point of it getting red. And would always bite my fingers to the point of them bleeding. I still do this, a lot actually, and it's very visible.,it's automatic and I hate it. It's like, I NEED to bite something right fuckinf now or I can't stay alive no more. It used to be worse, I would chew ANYTHING THAT WAS IN FROMT OF ME. I started a COLLECTION of chewed up pencils. Bc whenever they got near my mouth I would chew them. Which is BADDD IF YOU CAN XONTROL IT PLS DOJT DO THISSSS . I never did this because I was anxious or nervous, I just did it bc... I existed ?? Idk whenever I try to Google it up all the results say it's a sign of anxiety but for me it's just a symptom of existing). Whenever I feel anxious, (for example when I have to pass by a human being when getting to my apartment, and then they greet me and I greet them back but I feel like I did it incorrectly somehow and they hate me and think I'm incompetent/.>.gen), I flap my hands a lot (privately + primarily voluntarily) bc i feel just so much anxiety, I'm sure this is normal though. I also flap my hands a lot when I'm happy too. I do this moreso privately but sometimes it's a bit involuntary. When I'm really happy (usually about a wentoon lmao) I do a little dance and flap my hands and it actually feels pretty involuntary because if I DONT get up instantly and get into action it feels very suffocating. I pace around constantly, when thinking to myself I'll just walk In circle for long, sometimes I will just walk in a circle for literal hours. Usually I will move my hands in a weird motion . I rub my fingers against each other also to the point of visible and obvious injury. I don't know how to stop this. I constantly shake my leg though it's really common in neurotypical ppl so I should probably not be making a big deal out of this. There's probably more. Either way it's ,mostly harming to me lmao. But there's also the good in it ig

Okay actually it might take too long to organize everything and explain my whole life story so erm

I get distracted easily, or it's hard for me to pay attention to things I don't really care about, such as school (or moreso it's education system, since I can get actually pretty interested in private lessons) among other things. It's proven to be quite detrimental to me and my grades, to the point of me requiring multiple private classes to not fail a whole class, overall I'm just pretty much incapable of paying attention to stuff like that, but I'm pretty sure it's normal. And deficits in attention has been proven to be a result of modern day technology addiction among many youngsters, myself included, so I do not view this as necessary proof, especially seeing as I am actually capable of paying attention with good teachers in private lessons covering everything slowly enough. So yeah, essays over I am probably neurorypixal

either way

I get really obsessive over the things I'm interested in, I am not sure if they are hyperfixations but many times they get so genuinely intense they are the only thing I can think about. Genuinely. Once while trying to study history, for example, I just couldn't focus on learning history, not because it was uninteresting but because I was thinking of a fictional relationship (Roblox flicker mason x aadiv) and angst and fluff potential. I tried thinking Abt other things but I COULDNT. Also another short example: I once tried reading a book, and even though I could usually read it I just watched the finale of TMF and I literally could not NOT think about drew. just drew. I would try reading a sentence but then my brain would tell me how much I love drew. Goddamn it. This is a regular occurrence and has been proven to be detrimental to my life regarding it's real of my education. Focus on class? No, I can't, I'm trying to draw a symbol for a fictional religion me and my online friend made up. Focus on studying? No, k can't, I have to watch my favorite YouTuber or no, I can't, I have to daydream about being a YouTuber. These obsessions usually last a few weeks or months or so, so not too long, but usually for at least a week, to the point of it merely being mentioned gets me EXTREMELY hyped up. Sonic was probably my longest obsession, consistently lasting for about a year. If not flamingo (YouTube) who I was obsessed with for two years and based my whole personality off of back in the day. Sleep? No, I can't, I have to research neurodivegence. Hang the clothes? No, I can't, I have to pace around the room and think about the whole entire graspable depth of the relationship between Sean and daisy, as well as Sean's character alone and many implications surrounding his existence. I think y'all get the gist. Oh also I was once obsessed with TOH so much I literally knew so much Abt it and was so obsessed with it and if you gave me a line I could instantly tell you from which episode it was and I HUGELY related to Luz who's canonically neurodivergent and implied to have ADHD. This could all just me being passionate or obsessive thoug

Poor memory; I'm pretty sure this is the case buster, I lose things all the goddamn time it's actually traumatized me ti this point, losing a sharpener will get me having a whole breakdown screaming crying for an hour straight. Forgetting tests n stuff too, or forgetting ti check my to-do list Every . Single. Goddamn time.again this could probably stem from overuse of digital devices and electronics. So.

Oversensitivity to surroundings; aka possible sensory issues. I am pretty sensitive to noise, usually light too and smoke, and while I thought my reactions to surroundings were pretty normal (covering my ears, mouth, or squinting my eyes), upon observation I have noticed others do not do the things I do. Which is odd. How are they not suffering?? Anyway, sometimes I get overwhelmed so I etiehr try to ignore it or I escape. Literally. At times, things are louder and messier and more confusing and irritating. Also for food it's to a lesser degree but *lately* there's this food I forgot what it was called in English and chewing on it feels so utterly disgusting to the point where I'll cry bc the texture is just so extremely horrible and I literally spit it out of my window bc i didn't want my parents to see me not eating it. Bit then again I was able to eat the same food but bought from a different place, idk

Emotional disregulation; this could really just be me being a teenager, with hormones - you know how either you could have "two modes" you either feel like a GOD and everything is AMAZING or EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND YOU WANT TO DIE?? Those extreme emotions?? Well, at least according to my kom, it's a pretty normal process of puberty, so I should probably not pay it much mind. This goes out to my "possible" rsd (I say possible bc like while I'm unsure for being nd, there's no fucking way I don't have rsd...) I get extremely, extremely sensitive when it comes to any form of treatment k get that I could perceive as rejection, and many times I avoid any form of social interactions just for the sake of not being rejected in the slightest. My friend called me stuojd as a joke without tone indicators? I WILL have a breakdown abt it and I WONT communicate it to my friend bc i don't wanna disappoint them or make them feel like it's their fault. I'm really insecure and probably feel this way due to my childhood. Though, feelings of emberassment guilt or rejection sre in most cases common due to natural instincts, y'know, we couldn't have survived without communities, which practically the modern day brain translates rejection = death. Except there's not a real physical threat. Yada yada y'all know Abt this. So I don't think this proves anything, it's just a natural instinct I suppose, though idk if many ppl experience it as often and strongly as I do or if they just never talk about it. Sometimes I will get the lightest criticism ever and I WILL cry Abt it unless it was absolutely clear it was a joke lmao. And I always feel like things are super targeted at me even when they're not. Ive had so much breakdowns over this it's not funny.

Sleep issues: I am writing this as 1 AM is approaching. Need I say more.

Physical hyperactivity: see "stimming" section. I can't exist without moving unless I am asleep.

Mental hyperactivity??: sometimes my brain will be so loud my ears will genuinely hurt, don't ask how this works I actually don't know, it's in a rarer occasion however.

Resting bitch face: I've had people ask me so, so so often if I was sad or okay or ANGRY when I was feeling completely neutral. And they always say how I look angry. But I don't get it. But whatevs. I guess it just comes naturally, idk why. Maybe everyone else has a resting bitch face too and they just never rest idkk

Fuck I'm doing the finger thing rn it hurts so goddamn much

Anyway

Executive dysfunction?? Sometimes I feel like I literally can't physically do stuff and it takes me a ton of effort to get into a shower and I cry each time for reasons unknown. Though ut could just be me being s teenager and yearning for feelings of independence and control bc it's a normal thing for ppl experiencing puberty. But then again I don't see anyone else being like me except my brother who's in elementary school

I have taken online quizzes, I KNOW ITS NOT A RELIABLE SOURCE AT ALL, I just took them to see the results and also bc i wanted to research neurodivegence more and on literally all the quizzes I took over the years, all the time (except once I think) I got "you probably have ADHD". I know it doesn't prove anything and online quizzes don't take ones life context into account but I feel as if it is a BIT worth noting?

Possible meltdowns ?? Idk. I don't want to make it seem like it's a lesser deal than it is bc it's not. But for example once I accidentally left bread crumbs on my bed and my mom got really anxious and started yelling at me a bit and I was crying and covered my ears and started SCREAMING and did not get over it for a while. I frequently experience (like every day or two) periods of time where I am just on the floor or in my bed extremely anxious sad and yelling over the most genuinely minor experiences

*Possible* intrusive thoughts - (TW VIOLENCE) whenever I think of an embarrassing or cringe memory when I feel like I somehow screwed up a tiny bit my mind instantly makes me think of me peeling off the skin off of my head and it bleeding, or my arm being chopped off into two parts. Many times I will look at the window and get anxious thinking what if I just threw my most prized possession through there. Also happened once when my mom was standing in front of it and my mind made me think "what if I yelled and she fell you would be a horrible person wouldn't you". Also I sometimes think of DISGUSTING sexual thoughts and they pop up randomly and I don't like it. Anyway I'm not sure if these r by definition intrusive thoughts but they're involuntary and annoying and correct me if I'm wrong

Comfort item - dude I used to bring this plushie everywhere with me for years until I stopped and just put him in a special place so he wouldn't accidentally get damaged. I literally could not live without holding him. Like some super emotional attachment. Sometimes I talk to him. I also realized that when I wasn't holding something in my hand my hands felt too empty and suddenly I had to move them in weird ways (see stimming section for reference) so maybe that's why

I don't have a special interest (smth I was UTTERLY OBSESSED W MULTIPLE YEARS) so ig that crosses out the possibility of me being autistic

I also constantly hc my fav characters as neurodiverse and hen proceed to self project onto them and I constantly daydream about making YouTube videos Abt the theories of them being neurodiverse. Idk why I brought this up

Weird (emotional) empathy ? If someone is crying in front of me I'll probably feel genuinely nothing but anxious bc i WANT to help them feel better but idk how to and other times I get super empathetic with fictional characters or people seen on screen. Idk why I feel like a terrible person for this sometimes. I'll also feel bad for Minecraft trees and having to cut them but that's sympathy not empathy. As for cognitive empathy though it's pretty normal and my mom has noted I'm pretty good at it ?

Genetics: my sister is probably questioning it and sorts acts like it and goes to a psychologist, my mom has said she thinks she might have ADHD once out loud, my brother also watches some YouTube videos Abt ADHD and has been to a psychologist once, none are diagnosed but many speculate it, coincidence? Unsure

That's all I can think of for now

Bye

God why did I post this erughhhhh

[roseband]

so like i'm going on vacation at the end of this month (on the cheapest week/days of the year to travel lol and 6 days in nola with flights for two of us (minus food, which we eat anyways while home) is ~1k)

and like, i'm planning a small vacation (for myself and myself alone bc my fiance needs to save his pto for our honeymoon in a year cause I have 2 more weeks than him) for whenever the rose release their europe dates (i'm legit planning on going time zone by time zone for three hours until i snag a vvvip lmao, that will determine where i go, if i don't get a vvvip i probably won't do it)

and like i'm not looking forward to hearing bs from one of my coworkers about this, cause she's already kvetched about vacation #2, cause i went away w/ my family (and only took 4 pto days to do 8 days off by timing it well) at the beginning of the summer, and i have next month planned and put into the system and company calendar

and she's heavily implying that i have other ppl paying my bills (which LOL... nope, my fiance and i split things nearly proportionate (plus i have medical bills that he doesn't on top of our expenses), my mom pays our family plan phone bill, but i pay her coffee subscription and for dinners out to even it out) while she definitely makes more money than me

like girlllllll i spend $1.50-3/day on lunch, u buy lunch out which midtown is at least $15, closer to $18, there's the vacations...... there it is, $15 x 3 (days a week in office) x 4 (weeks a month) = $180/month, there's my extra two vacation compared to yours. That's .....fucking two thousand dollars dude, there's the family trip (which my portion was $750 cause my fiance, mom, and i split a room and divided it equally) and the anniversary trip I paid for both my fiance and I to go on (which is $1k, and my fiance is paying for our food and museum entry while away), you ate ur vacations as overpriced midtown salads....like... $1,750 isn't even all of the difference between home lunch, made in bulk and the $2.1k spent on midtown lunch in tourist hell, there's one of (hopefully) the flights one way to somewhere to see the rose lol

like i prioritize.... spending a week in jazz clubs, or 8 days in a hot tub and water park on a boat with my extended family, or....meeting the rose yet again (lol), over the convenience of midtown lunch (even though the last two weeks i've been super bad about midtown lunch, bc i've been so busy at work and come home and take a nap instead of cooking ;~;...but that's justifiable cause the overtime balances out the $15 lol (i am so tired i have to give another presentation in a half hour ;;;;;))

like the "how do u afford this while making less than me" which turns into "well seems fake tho but okay" is not fun???? because i am NUTS when it comes to money, i had to make myself a budget to make myself spend more on things i like, cause if i don't, i'll legit not spend anything, i will buy liver (yummy tho!!) for meals that cost $6 for four servings, or make BULK bulk chili that costs like $25 for 20 servings (which is actually really good!!! it's good chili i make good chili), every day... w/o my budget app telling me it's okay to spend

like i know she doesn't mean it in this manner cause no one at work knows, but she's literally digging on something i've had to deal with with a literal therapist, out of weird jealousy????? shtappppp like i literally have adhd/ocd combo diagnosed, pls....this is my mental BAD making me a frugal hoarder and i'm trying to stop it lol, and if i cannot defeat the two wolves fighting in my head day to day, i'll definitely go do BIG fun things instead

[kuarfish]

ppl r gonna get offended and. im attributing it to bc u want to be treated special u loser ass LMFAO. but just bc ur officially diagnosed w some mental illness doesnt mean im treating u different and if u think i should im gonna slap u upside the head. u r not the only mentally ill person out there. if i snap at u its bc i have depression 1!1!1! in ur bio(real thing ive seen) ok? i do too bro ….. LMFAO ppl pls stop trying to be special and making ppl who r actually genuinely horribly impaired by some of these things look bad

[souptheif]

🧙‍♂️🔮About Me 🧙‍♂️🔮

🐈‍⬛You can just call me Soup :3 🐈‍⬛ Minor(scary)‼️ She/Her

(Diagnosed) Autistic+ADD

Christian Bi🩷💜💙

I make art on the occasion

Fandoms(will update if anything new sparks my interest): Homestuck, Fnaf, Jovial Playground, TOH, Sanrio, Anything Vocaloid related tbh & Eddsworld.

🔮If you’re in any of these fandoms please pls pls interact🔮

Obligatory “Dni” list: Pr0sh!ppers/anything under that umbrella, Homophobic/Transphobic/r4cist ppl(get out), people who Whitewash characters, literally any of that basic stuff. I obviously can’t stop people from interacting Ig but I just wanna say this isn’t a space for any of that.

Anywayzzz, that’s pretty much it. If you think I’m cool we should totally be moots!! <3

[ittybittyfatbxtchcomittee]

hey im back !!!TW!!!

hows it hanging yall im back and better than ever and when i say better, i mean i have relapsed :P so a lil story time:

so when i was active i was living at my parents and i stopped using this when i met my partner. i moved away and got way too comfortable and went from 130 lbs to 150 lbs in like 5 months. i felt horrible. i then got diagnosed with MS, and started chemo and dropped the weight again, but the whole process of the diagnosis hit me hard and i got so depressed that my partner had to admit me to the hospital where i was diagnosed w a bunch of stuff, like schizophrenia, BPD, and lots of eating stuff, obviously.

i wasnt that skinny but i was weak and pale and lowkey kind of dying lol so i was there for around 2 months, did the recovery and everything because of my partner.

fast forward i have an apartment, good job, free time and some money to spend on cute clothes! just in time for summer! but! i! am! ugly! past couple of days ive been cooking my own food and ive gotten my weight to a consistent 135-137 lbs. along with cooking, my partner wants to start going to the gym so when i was putting on my gym clothes, dysmorphia hit fucking hard and i cried over how repulsed i was

so ive figured out my diet plan and workout routines so i can be hopefully around 120-125 by mid june! and ive decided to update because this is a kind of outlet for me to share my thoughts and experiences! im hoping to show some recipes, workouts, and maybe some vlogs here and there! ill try to update my progress with pictures as well!

pls dont do what i do and think what i think. im incredibly self destructive and aware that i could enable ppl with my posts, to which i ask that u block me if anything with food restriction is triggering to u. if u have any kind of thoughts like these, pls reach out and get help.

[gigglincactus]

Parents: Let us talk about your mental health

Me:

[numum]

dude your comment on that post abt ignoring medical issues sounds like a brain tumor

yeah <3

[astroninaaa]

whenever I see people that don’t have anxiety saying they have anxiety a part of me dies

like bitch I take anxiety meds and deal with whole ass panic attacks + constant worry + paranoia and then just bc you’re shy and get nervous on school presentations you wanna tell me you have anxiety???? get out of here anxiety is not a trend for you to hop on

[jimilter]

ASH U BETTER TELL ME MORE ABOUT LOYALTY CAUSE K2 IS ONE OF MY FAVE K DRAMAS. 👹👹👹👹 spill rn babe.

the wip challenge!

LATIIIII, i see you rioting over td&hk in my notifs and i will get to it asap 👀

AND OMG, A FELLOW THE K2 ENTHUSIAST??? i swear, a best friend of mine recommended it to me and i haven't found a single fan ever since??? WHY? have these ppl not seen ji changwook? the only man i'd cheat on jimin with ugh

anywayS!

loyalty is gonna be my spin on jeha x yoojin. 👁👁 pls don't run away, i PROMISE to make it good!!! here's the mmc and mfc moodboards and snippet for you 🥺

note: it's a random scene from a list of random scenes i wrote when i watched the k2, last year. jungkook's name is jk instead of k2 and reader is choi yoojin, the madam. and moon byulyi is her secretary. chief min is chief joo, the boyguard's team's head - our guy from little princess, hehe:

You blinked, watching as the doorway to your room was slowly filled with a familiar, broad pair of shoulders in a suit. Your eyes met his unreadable ones, and you couldn't gather enough strength in yourself to mirror his blank face. You didn’t know what he read in your expressions, but whatever it was made his back straighten further, almost to the point of stiffening.

You looked around your room as he stepped in.

“Everyone… I need to have a few words with JK in private. Please give us a moment.”

You looked towards him to find him frowning hard at the floor.

Your husband, brother and Captain Kim walked out without question. Byulyi lingered, though, looking at you with furrowed brows. You raised an eyebrow at her.

“Madam, I—”

“Close the door on your way out, Chief Moon.”

Her shoulders stiffened, lips pursing into a straight line. She bowed her head, walking out without another word.

You sat up straighter when the door fell shut.

“How do you feel, madam?”

Your eyelashes fluttered, gaze leaving your comforter to land on Jungkook’s concerned face. His jaw was tightly clenched and forehead creased.

It suddenly hit you how none of your visitors, so far, had put up this particular question to you. Sure, they’d asked how you were doing, if you were okay, if anything hurt, if you needed anything, and more – but none of them had put up a question about how you felt.

And the first question out of Jungkook’s mouth was just that.

Of course it was.

You mustered a small smile. “How do you imagine?”

He cleared his throat, breaking eye-contact to stare at your heart monitor. “I… I have been told you are the type to not bleed even when shot, if you’re in public.”

A raucous laughter left you, leaving your head throbbing in its wake. You slowly shook your head at his words. 

“Did Chief Min tell you this?”

He tucked his lower lip into his mouth, gaze meeting yours head-on. “Maybe.”

Your lips quirked up. “It was just something I said to him once when he was being paranoid about my well-being during a rough press conference. But…” You exhaled. “Of course that isn’t true, Jungkook. I am only human.”

Jungkook wordlessly stepped up to your bed, still looking at you with a face full of concern. “Had you not eaten?”

You chuckled. “Stop trying to diagnose me. The doctors have done enough of that. I’ll be fine, Jungkook.”

He came close enough for his warmth to be felt by you. 

You looked away from him, focusing on your bed spread again. “Why are you here?”

He did not respond for a while, simply breathing next to you, making no other movements. And then he drew in a loud inhale, exhaling a sigh through his mouth.

“I am your bodyguard, madam, am I not?”

You gave a wry smile. Of course. “I did not need any more protection, Jungkook. My husband’s entire team of guards is here. Not to mention, Captain Kim, himself is guarding my door. I’m fully safe here, Jungkook.”

“I should’ve been there at the park.”

You clicked your tongue. “No, stop that. This wasn’t a threat, but a health emergency. What could you have done, huh?”

You looked up at him to find him pursing his lips and looking down at his shoes.

“Don’t worry. Everything is fine, now. I will probably be discharged by tomorrow morning.” You moved your gaze to look through the window on your other side. “You do not need to be here.”

Everything went silent. Even his breathing became so less audible, you wondered if he was holding it.

“I will take the post by your door. Send Captain Kim home.”

You internally scoffed at his demanding tone, but belatedly recalled your own conclusions from a while ago. 

A wolf that can’t be tamed.

You exhaled. “I just said you do not need to—”

“I know I do not need to be here, madam,” he interrupted you with an unreadable stare, and you blinked in surprise when he immediately twisted on heels to walk away. “I will be posted by your door.”

Your breathing almost halted at his words, the unsaid ringing in your ears louder than bells. Even as he walked out and relayed to Captain Kim that you had ordered the Captain to go home. Even as your husband walked back in and told you of your brother’s departure. Even as your secretary looked at you with a disapproving stare— 

I know I do not need to be here, madam.

But I want to be.

adadsadsafdahsg reading this again sent me back in the feels! 😭 ugh, how i miss them :(

soooo, could you recognize this scene from the show? did i do it justice? 👀 hehe, thank you for sending this in, bby, ily!!! ❤❤❤

[camsthesadgirlnow]

TW: Rafe finds out you self harm

pairings: rafe Cameron x black fem!reader

warnings: sh, blood, crying, breakdowns

a/n: not requested I just thought of it. also rafe isn’t a murderous person in this :)

Also the reader can also be of any race, I just barely see black reader with rafe Cameron.

gif credit to @jedidiahtiens

⋆*: .*✿:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

——

he found out when he barged into the bathroom and saw the blood in the sink with a razor on your hand

your arm looking absolutely obliterated

He scrunches his face in horror and studies your tear stained eyes

“i-i’m sorry” you stutter out

He sits you down on the toilet seat and grabs the first aid kit. quickly cleaning your arm and wrapping it with gauze.

“I just I was having a breakdown and the v-voices wouldn’t fucking shut up and they only stop when I hurt myself.”

He quickly shushes you by kissing your lips and brings you to bed. Stroking your hair as you fall asleep.

he cries into the couch that night, careful not to wake you up

he couldn’t imagine life without you

the next morning you wake up and find him cooking breakfast as if everything is okay. The silence at the table become awkward quickly when you can see him stare at your bandaged arms

“is it me?” He asks “cause if it is im sorry and I’ll fix everything.”

Your heart broke at his words

“baby its never you it’s just me and my stupid fucking mind.”

“but why cutting.”

so you pulled out the story about how shitty you’re parents are and how they always made you feel like you were less than anything. so you resorted to cutting despite it being insanely dangerous it’s what helped the voices to fuck off.

He quickly pulled you into his lap and kissed your bandages

His eyes with tears staring at you

“I couldn’t fathom a life without you, please don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”

“I can’t promise that I’ll stop, I really can’t my mind is all sorts of fucked up.”

“Baby we’ll get you some help, anything for you.”

And that’s true. You both recently went to see a therapist and she diagnosed you with depression. She gave you anti depressants and sent you to a psych ward. Rafe paid for everything without argument. He loved you that much.

You gave in and turned in your box full of razors and he threw it away. Caressing your back and praising you for being so brave and asking for help and choosing to throw those away.

And whenever you would be insecure or ppl would point out your scars (which ppl do bc they’re SHITTY) he would instantly tell them to piss off and tell you your beautiful and they’re apart of you and he loves them.

a/n: whoo heavy asf but if y’all are struggling with sh than pls get help. <3

[everythingsinred]

pls just understand this: type one and type two diabetes are two entirely different illnesses (they are both called diabetes bc the disease was named before scientists fully understood the causes and illnesses properly). first, lumping them together under “diabetes” (as in the joke and also treating them like the same disease) can be very harmful! the confusion can result in misunderstandings at best (like my sister not being allowed to eat cookies at parties even tho. yes she can eat cookies.) and misdiagnoses at worst.

type 2 diabetes happens gradually and usually later in life, bc the insulin is overloaded into the bloodstream over time and the cells stop responding as much to it, which means the diabetic isnt getting energy despite eating it. it can be potentially reversible with great effort but it can still be dangerous. changing your diet and exercising more helps a lot but it can still be harmful especially early on before diagnosis. 

VS type 1 diabetes is an auto-immune disease, usually diagnosed in childhood (hence why its sometimes referred to as “juvenile diabetes,” but bc it doesnt GO AWAY once ur an adult, that name is misleading), and it makes sufferers more susceptible to other illnesses. usually undiagnosed type 1 diabetics are severely underweight. basically your body is KILLING itself trying to destroy the insulin-producing beta cells bc it has been confused into considering them as enemies. 

so associating sugar overload with diabetes is stupid bc 1. type 2 diabetes happens over a long period of time, not from one sundae or whatever! and can be actually a backhanded comment tbh and is used to shame ppl for eating sugary foods. and 2. u begin to have dangerous misconceptions about the diseases, particularly about type 1. 

even doctors dont always understand the difference! my younger sister (dearest zoe), displayed all the obvious symptoms of type 1 and was severely underweight. my parents took her to the hospital and her pediatrician told my mom to try and fatten her up! my grandpa (a retired doctor from serbia) suspected that she could be diabetic and told my mom to get her tested and her pediatrician said theyd run the tests but that she probably wasnt diabetic (bc he was thinking of type TWO!!! TYPE TWO!!! shes so skinny how could she be diabetic??). my mom was literally making batches of fudge (!!!!!) to feed six-year old skinny zoe when she received the call that zoe probably had type 1 diabetes, with her pediatrician apologizing profusely.

we were lucky that our grandpa knew what type 1 was. other kids might not get a proper diagnosis bc for some reason not even doctors know all the info about these illnesses. (even tho theyre pretty common. ugh) zoe has had many issues with knowing more abt her illness than the doctors who are supposed to be treating her.

and in the us so many ppl die from diabetes (especially type 1) bc they RELY ON INSULIN TO LIVE (non-negotiable especially with type 1, even if you go on a “diet” so shut up about that) and when they run out because they cant afford it (even tho it is very cheap to produce and the inventor of synthetic insulin wanted it to be available to everyone) they fucking DIE, in their sleep or from ketoacidosis which is an incredibly painful condition. 

so before you make a stupid fucking “DIABETES” joke try to consider all the people suffering from it and how often children are misdiagnosed. think about how my sister has literally every rando idiot telling HER how to manage HER disease when they dont know SHIT who make the same dumbass jokes you do. shut up with the diabetes jokes im gonna skin u