#ill kill u for joking abt it

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

[ccuniculusmolestus]

Same bitches who were all about brat summer couldn't even handle Bunny Corcoran

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

LOVE ME HARDER!

you swear your favorite color has nothing to do with kaiser. but unluckily for you, the boy’s fallen madly in love with you and has somehow convinced himself that he can connect the dots to make you fall madly in love with him. when you meet his flirting with a tough front though, kaiser has a secret weapon up his sleeve (or under his uniform collar).

gender neutral reader

content warning(s): reader’s favorite color is blue, kaiser’s tattoo isn’t super visible with his uniform in this fic

You loved blue.

You still do. And for the foreseeable future, you weren’t going to ever stop loving the color. It was a color so dear and special to you, and as much as you loved all the other colors, there was something indescribable about the blue hue.

It was everywhere. The color of the sky. The ocean. The small Google Docs icon while you scribbled down notes on your computer. A stray car in the distance while you crossed the road. It was the color of loyalty and knowledge, the cool tones even embodying the mystifying feeling of melancholy. And, if you allowed yourself to get a little pretentious and philosophical, probably the color of the universe. 

What a dignified color. You would never stop loving blue. Not ever. Certainly not now. And you would never extinguish your love of the color because of a man.

But boy, was someone making it difficult.

You always heard him before you saw him: the rumble of footsteps, Ness gushing incoherent praise, the shrill trill of German words hanging in the air. Like an overture before a grand opera, except those thirty seconds were the only prep time you’d get to turn on your heel and book it out of there if you didn’t want to say hello to your biggest headache.

“Oh, daaaarling! There you are! Hey- Don’t run away!”

An outstretched pair of arms materialized on either side of your body, and you let out a loud yelp before you were pulled backwards into a tight hug. You screeched like a feral cat, clawing helplessly at the air while a loud haughty laugh rang out against your eardrums.

It was only when you turned around that the sense of hearing gave out to the sense of sight. Beautiful strands of blond-blue hair swept across your eyes, the twinkle of his golden locks not too unlike the catlike gleam in his pupils. Speaking of his eyes, you hated the stupid bastard for how much blue he had on him and more importantly, how good it looked. Even the smug azure of his crinkled eyes made you stop breathing for just a split second, and your lips parted unconsciously as your hatred momentarily dissipated into wonder at the delicate hue.

“Staring at me? Awwwww, do you think I’m handsome? Of course you do. You wouldn't be so starstruck otherwise,” he chuckled. You instantly snapped out of your stupor, and you twisted your face into a disgusted frown.

“Take your hands off of me, you idiot,” you snarled. “I’m not in the mood to talk to you.”

“Oh? Perfect. I think that’s perfect timing to talk to you.” Kaiser kept one arm slung firmly over your shoulders, expertly placing himself at your side. You dug your heels into the ground and kept your place whenever he tried to edge you closer to his torso, egging you to relax into his touch. “Busy being a little color nerd again? I think it’s adorable that you’d pick your favorite color after me-”

“-I did not pick my favorite color after you,” you huffed. You crossed your arms, and you glared directly up at him (this time, you took extra care not to get lost in his eyes). “Do you really think I don’t have a personality or something? To pick a favorite color after a man?”

He shrugged. “Hey, I’m a pretty charming guy, if I do say so myself. Just now, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me. I’d say I wear the color well. Say, if I swapped my red eyeliner out for a blue one, would that make you stare at me even more?”

You wanted to push him off, but you knew better than to engage a professional athlete in a half-wrestle-half-run-for-your-life-thing. “In your dreams. You’re an atrocious mix of colors.”

“Sure.” He easily brushed your words off. He broke out into his usual smug grin, chuckling at you as if he were a cat toying with a mouse. If he could, you swore that he’d gobble you up in one bite and leave no crumbs. “But I’d say blue is totally my color.”

Red hot annoyance flooded your body. This was so unlike you, to be moved to such anger that you’d be thinking of any color other than your favorite cyan hue, but something about this man made you want to beat him to a bloody pulp until he truly was nothing more than a mix of crimson and black and white broken bones. 

“Blue is MY color!” You grumbled. “I liked it even before I met you! Hell, I probably understand it better than you do! Dipping your hair in Kool-Aid and being born with blue eyes doesn’t automatically make blue your color! It’s my favorite color, and me liking it has nothing to do with you! Not everything revolves around you, Kaiser!”

You fumed at him, having blurted out all of the tension mounting inside of your chest. You stood there, wanting to claw off the weight of his arm across your shoulders. You wondered if Kaiser would yell back at you, if those beautiful sapphire eyes of his would narrow into small slits before he’d wind up for the pounce, if he truly would swallow you up into a void of blue nothingness just to prove you wrong.

But instead he threw his head back, and he laughed heartily.

“You’re too funny for your own good.” He pretended to wipe a tear from his eye with his other hand, and he barely held himself together long enough to look at you. “The world? Revolve around me? Maybe to all those other stupid commoners. Those brainless fools need a stunning star to guide them. To give them any purpose in life.”

You grimaced, skin crawling with disdain as he yanked you closer. His free hand caressed the outline of your cheeks and jaw, and you let out a small “eep!” as he hooked his fingers under your chin to gingerly lift your face to meet his. You held your breath as the German prodigy leaned in, until the silhouette of his peach-pink lips were much too close to your mouth for your liking.

“But, darling… Oh, my sweet, stupid darling…” His voice was far too smooth for your own liking. Like the lining of a regal blue mink-fur lined cape, the kind you’d see in a 1700s painting of a king, the edge you get from swallowing down a mouthful of ice water. He looked too pleased with himself, having you ensnared perfectly in his arms like this. The thick tension that hung between the two of you felt like poisoned honey, and he shook his head at you mockingly. “If anyone were to pay attention closely, they’d know that the script is much more different for you than it is for those everyday fools.”

“Don’t lump me in your weird fantasy.” You blinked at him defiantly. He pursed his lips slightly, but Kaiser didn’t waver even once. 

“All I want to say is that there’s nothing wrong in admiring beautiful things. If you like blue that much, nothing wrong with admiring the blue on me, is there? It’s unhealthy to deny yourself the things that you love so much.” He let you go finally, and you practically leapt out away from him. “If you don’t want to throw yourself at my feet and beg to play the role of my dedicated love interest, that’s fine too! Although, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to. Anyone would be honored to have my attention the way you do.”

“You’re a self-centered prick. I don’t want to give you any more attention than what I’m already wasting on you.”

“That’s what I’m saying! If you let down your high walls and properly let yourself admire me for the beautiful, charming, handsome guy I am, then it wouldn’t be a waste of your time.” He expertly flicked his hair over his shoulder, winking at you as some of the strands tumbled down his collarbones and back. As atrocious of a haircut as it was, you did have to admit that the color of his weird gradient was very pleasing to your eyes.

But you’d rather eat knives than admit it out loud. 

“You’ll have to try harder than that. Anyone can dye hair,” you muttered, thoroughly unconvinced. “And before you ask, I’m not interested in staring at your eyes either. Blue eyes mean nothing to me. And I can always go buy color contacts off the internet and stare at those instead if I really want to.”

“Boo! That’s so boring! Wouldn’t you want a real living person? Someone with personality?” He pouted.

You rolled your own eyes. “Yeah. Someone that doesn’t have a stick stuck up their ass.”

Kaiser pressed his lips into a line, suddenly lost in heavy thought. He knew your patience was already running thin with him, and while it was frustrating that the typical antics he’d lavish onto his fans wasn’t netting him the reaction he wanted from you, it still thrilled him the same. You were so tough to crack! He knew deep down that you had some heart for him and that you loved admiring beautiful things! And was he not the most beautiful thing of them all? He was skilled, talented, the kind of guy anyone should be flattered to have. All he needed was to convince you with something unique, something that no other groupie or fan of his couldn’t have, and maybe that would be the key to luring you over.

To turn that burning red hatred of yours into a calm, placated blue interest.

“Well, what if I give you something truly special then? If I could show you something that you have to admit is beautiful, would you admire me then?” He offered tentatively. You sniffed, keeping your head held high, but he took your silence to mean that it wasn’t a complete refusal.

He broke out into the biggest grin you had ever seen. Your confidence wavered slightly at his smug smirk, and nervousness prickled over your skin. You held your breath as Kaiser slowly raised his hand to his neck. Two fingers hooked onto the golden collar of his Bastard Munchen uniform, which covered a generous portion of his neck.

He yanked down. 

A flash of deep, royal blue stunned your vision, and your eyes instinctively widened. Kaiser tilted his neck to the opposite side, making sure you could catch a proper glimpse at the part of his throat that was normally concealed by his uniform. You felt like something inside of your brain had violently hit the brakes the moment the color hit your eyes. 

Roses.

Beautiful, beautiful blue roses. 

You’re automatically entranced by them. They’re tattoos, each expertly painted on his skin with a careful hand. The black outline makes the rich hues pop even more against his body, and while you tiptoe forward to catch a better view, you can only make out the better part of one of the bigger roses. The rest are covered by his uniform, and you can see the hint of inked thorns traveling away from the flowers and towards his arm. 

Kaiser instantly caught the shift in energy from you. He wisely kept his mouth shut, but some prideful part of him was celebrating inwardly. He let you step closer to admire the handiwork on his body, your curiosity delighting him to no ends.

You wanted to touch them. To touch him. Oh, you could imagine the feeling of soft rose petals under your fingertips while you were utterly mesmerized by his tattoo, almost forgetting that it was just an inked drawing rather than real flowers.

“Well? Isn’t it lovely?” 

You flinched, snapping back to life. Dumbfounded, you were at a loss for words. It was completely unlike you to not have some kind of mean comeback to snark at him with, but the secret weapon Kaiser had on hand was too much. His tattoo had overwhelmed you in a heartbeat, the artistic touch only making you want to see it again.

But unfortunately for you, he adjusted his uniform back into its regular position with a cruel smile. “See? I knew you’d like it. Do you want to look at it again? Oh, I know you do. C’mon, tell me. Tell me you want to see it again. It’s not like I’m going to refuse.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, and very hesitantly, you swallowed back your pride. “Can… Can I see your tattoo again?”

“With pleasure, darling.” He cooed. He paused for a moment, and he pulled you closer towards him. You gulped nervously when he peered down at you, clearly savoring the victory he had earned by pulling wool (or in this case, a lovely tattoo) over your eyes. 

“But why don’t I take you to my room instead? I’ll take off my shirt for you. That way you can see the entire thing. And then you can fawn over me properly. You just said you wanted to see my tattoo again. Those pretty roses,” he leaned in, tempting you over and over with the fleeting memory, “Those pretty, pretty roses that are in your absolute favorite color.”

You were torn, and Kaiser reveled in that tormented expression of yours.

He held his hand out. “No need to be shy. Let me show you all sorts of beautiful blue things, my darling.”

x

[hampterguts]

forever amazed and confused at how often transformers franchise just straight up depicts suicide attempts. like not even considering the superhero trope of "i have to save everyone!!! by choosing to die!!!!!" thing. like. non-allow-yourself-to-die-to-stop-a-thing-from-killing-everyone-immediately type situations. which tbh i wish more ppl talked about but not the point here

like. sure mtmte, a comic abt mentall illness and war, i expected it to be aware of the concept. but its not handled well and mostly used for shock value or "im better now i swear! i have a husband and everything" BUT ITS IN THE KIDS SHOWS TOO??? MY BESTIE G1 RODIMUS?? BEAST WARS DINOBOT???

[trainingdummyrabbit]

on god at this point im just gonna need yt to stop trying to recommend me projmoon stuff.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i posted that stupid shit on my instagram i might just kill myself fr

now im afraid i wont sleep for another 24 hours damn 😭😭

[stardustanddaffodils]

i think i need to stop being a wimp who goes oh well other ppl are doing it so i guess its fine... and maye i should too so they like me! no! youre right to have your boundaries! stop it!

[sweetsweetloverlover]

5 years old : i dont want tomato >:(

10 years old : omg im soo quirky and original for not liking all the same foods as everyone lol

15 years old : guys does it seem like this list never stops getting longer or is it just me. haha

19 years old : this is literally not funny anymore i keep getting infantilized for "having the taste of a child" and every single person i meet at some point finds out i do not like [food] and acts like i personally offended their entire fucking family as if i was not the one and only person inconvenienced by that shit like do you realize i have to live with this everyday. i have to feed myself everyday knowing that i could suddenly stop liking something ive eaten for years/my whole life and when i say i do not like something i do not mean "oh im not a fan of the taste but im hungry so ill eat it" i mean "if i try to put this in my mouth i will puke" not to mention some of the things on that list do not only taste bad but also make me SICK yes even things that once again ive been fine with for years/my whole life, so you know yeah thats really great when you make jokes about how i dont like anything and it really doesnt make me want to hit u in the face

[novy2sirius]

MERCURY HOUSE CORE ©novy2sirius

trigger warning: mental health issues, pedophilia, killing, physical health issues ☘️

this is just a random post abt things ppl with these placements could experience ☘️

these r only abt isolated placements so take it with a grain of salt bc the whole chart matters ☘️

a lot of these r experiences i’ve heard from my friends and ppl who’ve purchased readings from me directly ☘️

☿ mercury in 1h core

being diagnosed with more mental illnesses than u can count, being very intelligent which leads u to be anxious just by existing bc of all ur knowledge, saying things u don’t mean cuz u were angry, being told u have a youthful face, knowing a bunch of random facts abt things and telling ppl and them asking why tf u know that or care, hyper-fixating on things u can’t control, getting internet hate by simply existing, getting dmed sexual stuff by random weird dudes trying to prey on u (especially when ur younger), getting nauseous bc ur anxiety is so bad (especially before school), having sexy hands, skipping school to be on ur phone all day and do nothing, asking way too many questions bc of ur curiosity abt everything and annoying ppl (especially as a kid), giving ur opinion when no one asked for it, being told u could be a good rapper/singer, being rly good at flirting bc of ur charm, cussing a lot

☿ mercury in 2h core

being obsessed with mukbang/eating videos and then making urself rly hungry and being frustrated bc u can’t have the food they’re eating in the video, valuing ur own opinions more than others, not answering texts or calls bc ur too lazy to but then liking those same ppls posts on instagram, saying “um” too much or having a lot of pauses in between words bc ur a slow thinker, talking to ur toys as a kid when u were lonely, getting all ur food recipes from pinterest, buying online gift cards for ppl instead of putting effort into an actual gift/on the flip side if ur a more creative person putting a lot of thought into gifts, being good at making things from scratch, being more wealthy in online games than in real life, being obsessed w the papa’s food games on cool math as a kid, holding grudges against ppl who kill u on roblox, liking scents that smell like food or scents that make u smell rich/boujee, always making money, making money online

☿ mercury in 3h core

double texting bc u have sm to say and will forget abt it if u don’t type it immediately, being able to get lots of followers on social media, being gossiped abt online, being a huge reader, enjoying hearing abt other ppls drama but not wanting to be in any, having a child-like energy (this can be in a positive or negative way depending on what vibration ur at in life), saying childish things in arguments when ur at a lower vibration (example: meh meh meh :p), drama following u wherever u go, aging well, being obsessed with sims, not believing things unless there’s very good reasoning to back them up, being able to communicate well, being a talented writer, forming all ur opinions from ur older siblings (if u have any), math or literature being ur favorite subject, being a good driver, enjoying traveling but not for too long bc u get tired quickly of it, being charming af, being witty and quickly thinking of good jokes

☿ mercury in 4h core

posting all ur feelings on social media or going thru that emo phase in middle school where u would post those sad lyric vids on ur snapchat, ur family gossiping abt u a lot and u overhearing it in the next room, having a super low pain tolerance, enjoying watching self care vids, getting baby fever after seeing tiktoks of cute babies, being a rly good person to come to if someone needs a comfort person, living in an rv/camper at some point in ur life, telling ur mom everything and her giving u advice abt certain situations but then u don’t listen and she ends up being right abt the whole thing, coming to ur mom for advice on everything in general, ur mom being more childish than u, being able to write stories that readers rly emotionally relate to a lot, ur mom having videos of u still up on her facebook from when u were little that still haunt u to this day

☿ mercury in 5h core

being creative as hell, being a natural performer, having a fun childlike energy, being a huge risk taker and thrill seeker, being a talented actor, being rly good at video games and possibly becoming famous from playing them, living for the drama but not wanting to be a part of it, downloading tinder and not knowing y u don’t just delete it, being sassy, being told ur trying to hard to be the main character but u literally r the main character and can’t help that, not having ur first love until ur an adult and only experiencing puppy love in ur youth, going to a bunch of concerts, being turned on by wattpad stories and feeling like a whore bc of it, flirting w ppl online and then being scared to say anything to them in person when u see each other, being a good driver

☿ mercury in 6h core

ppl saying u come off super innocent (even if ur not), constantly doing things for others even when they don’t give the same energy in return, being obsessed with improving ur health or with videos online abt being healthy/fit, feeling awful before going to school bc it gives u horrible anxiety and makes u feel like ur gonna puke, thinking ur gonna get a stroke every time u have a normal headache (and being a hypochondriac in general), not functioning without consistency in ur life, having an entire pinterest board of cute animals, being good with animals, being obsessed w ur hygiene and feeling nasty when u don’t shower everyday, weirdly loving medical shows such as greys anatomy, having a lot of stomach issues

☿ mercury in 7h core

convincing ppl to do things with ur charm, wanting to tell ppl something and be honest with them but being too scared bc u don’t want them to hate u and r constantly afraid u’ll hurt them, copying ur romantic partners slang/ur partners copying urs, meeting lovers online, dating or marrying gemini/virgo placements, having age gaps in ur relationships, getting into a lot of conflicts online, ur ex partner/ex best friends posting abt u and subbing u (not saying ur name directly but talking abt u) online after u have a fallout, flirting with ppl on club penguin or roblox when u were younger, changing ur opinions easily based on what ur partner or close friends think, dating ppl when ur too young to even drive, posting a lot abt ur relationship online

☿ mercury in 8h core

analyzing ppl well and understanding them before anyone else does, ppl randomly telling u their deepest darkest secrets when u didn’t even ask, being interested in the way ppls minds work which leads u to become obsessed w books abt psychology/astrology/tarot/etc, starting to masturbate from a rly young age that’s almost concerning, having a lot of mental health issues bc of ur childhood trauma, using dark humor as a way to cope with ur trauma, not realizing how much trauma u’ve went thru until someone verbally tells u that u’ve been thru a lot (usually a therapist), being a tomboy as a kid, being obsessed with true crime, being told ur mysterious, saying out of pocket shit that has high shock value, being stalked online

☿ mercury in 9h core

having a more optimistic mindset than everyone around u, enjoying traveling a lot, wanting to leave ur hometown as soon as possible, driving when traveling instead of taking a plane cuz u don’t wanna pay for the flight, majoring in communications or something involving technology or literature, having an interest in other cultures more than ur own, coming off as intelligent bc of the way u talk and ur mannerisms, being told that u could be a good lawyer from a young age, being a good interviewer, knowing multiple languages, having logical ethics, being a comedian, being an amazing story teller

☿ mercury in 10h core

trying to keep ur daily life private and ppl still getting in ur business, being able to influence the public easily bc they seem to care a lot abt what u say, being famous on social media, being a famous singer, rumors being spread abt u to the public, having a talent for teaching others, having goals that u set as a kid that u feel u must fulfill, having a career involving cars, having a career involving technology, having a career involving writing/literature, being seen as someone who’s intelligent (especially in ur workplace), having dad humor, coming off as a know it all (10h is associated with experts and mercury is the thinking/the mind), being known for ur humor and how funny u r, playing online games that involve having a job such as papa’s freezeria

☿ mercury in 11h core

having random bursts of creative ideas and doing crazy stuff like writing an entire movie and then literally forgetting abt it the next day, ur best friends being ur siblings, having the most random thought processes, being able to make friends easily, having lots of online friends, being clumsy as hell, having a fan page/editing page when u were younger, being known as “the weird kid” in school (this doesn’t mean it’s always in a bad way tho it can mean in a unique/fun way), being popular online, having unique mannerisms, having a unique voice/unique speech patterns, being a good rapper, being dragged into online drama, cussing a lot, saying random things out of nowhere like ice bear from we bare bears, having a lot of ideas that r unique bc u think outside of the box, having unique perceptions, constantly changing ur mind abt things

☿ mercury in 12h core

speaking/writing things into existence with minimal effort, being obsessed with the feeling of nostalgia and making urself feel it then regretting it bc it hurts, ppl interrupting u and talking over u a lot, ppl ignoring what ur saying and making u feel like a ghost, having a huge interest in spiritual things, manipulating and lying a lot when at a lower vibration, being bullied (especially as a kid/in school), feeling lonely even when ur literally socializing or at a social function, having an astrology account, having more online friends than friend’s in person, daydreaming a lot in social settings (and in general), gaslighting ppl when at a lower vibration, being able to speak to the dead thru ur dreams, hearing ppl talking when ur half asleep, sleep walking, being sensitive to things ppl say but trying to hide it, healing ppl through ur words, hiding ur true thoughts abt someone, hiding ur true intentions, having strong emotional intelligence when at a high vibration, easily figuring out what someone’s feeling, being able to do rly good impressions

[chuuya-kisser]

THEORY TIME THEORY TIME

ok. so. first of all FYODOR FCKIN DOSTOEVSKY I LIKE U AND ALL BUT???? REMAIN DEAD??? U JESUS FR??

ANYWAYS ignoring that

so bc i adore skk to hell and back obviously im gonna explore their dynamic first

what kills me is how familiar they are with each other. they arent insulting each other in every sentence, which is still alright. and what struck me the most is how much dazai seems to trust chuuya. more so than anyone.

so far we know that dazai isn't exactly the most open person around. his entire cheerful joking persona is a facade, a fake. what you see is usually only what he wants to show you. his real emotions? ive only seen them very rarely, if at all. now look at these

the way chuuya says what he does implies that he is already used to this habit of dazai's, which is only possible if dazai did this in his mafia days, AND even then, he was open and willing enough to let chuuya see it and know that dazai was anxious. which means that even before mersault, before dazai left the mafia, he and chuuya atleast were that close that the usually closed-off, know-everything demon prodigy could show his worry to his partner, multiple times.

i think that over here, dazai really isnt hiding his emotions. you can see the shock and worry on his face and in his eyes clearly as he puts the pieces together. not only that, hes also laying out parts of his plan to chuuya, in addition to his theories. which he rarely does unless im wrong about that (its possible). he isnt worried about chuuya using his emotions and weaknesses against him, because he trusts him enough, although i think the trust between them was already shown when both of them fake-killed each other.

its easy to see the panic in his eyes, and personally i feel that this is him showing a bit of weakness, which is perfectly alright. the thing is that again, hes letting chuuya see this. I very much doubt that he would have let down his facade enough to show this to absolutely anyone else.

also the poor guy literally looks so stressed out here give him a goddamn break asagiri

aaaaand now chuuya.

now what strikes me is that even in the last chapter/s, chuuya has multiple times tried to reassure dazai that fyodor is indeed dead to try and calm down dazai's worries. this can also be him also wanting a damn break but anyways.

and these panels. while many ppl are agreeing that hes just sitting there being a pretty boy while dazai tows through helicopter debris (and i agree), and definitely chuuyas sadistic streak when it comes to dazai is showing itself clearly, its often been seen in both the official arts and animanga that whenever working together, chuuya always covers dazai's blind spots.

think about it. dazai has his back turned towards everything. if someone launched a surprise attack on him at this moment, the chances of him dodging, finding out abt it in time is pretty low. chuuya is directly behind dazai. i got this idea from another post i saw, but what if this is also chuuya covering for dazai yet again? protecting him?

anyways thats it folks maybe ill make another post on jesus- i meant fyodor soon

[77ngiez-archive]

i wonder what pafl tumblr would be like

1 note

🍑 upto30meters

i think beautiful bpd boys should be allowed to do nefarious things sometimes. dont ask me abt my weekend plans

#sanyechkaa if ur reading this tell ur brother to go fuck himself #txt #hall of fame

23,719 notes

👁 eagleeyed1

this prison food is passé

#why am i in prison? don't worry about it

7 notes

📙 false-epitaphs

i am so sick of my friend vagueposting about his illegal plans

#and as if thats not enough the post BLEW UP TOO #if he gets arrested i blame this website #thats a joke hes stupid so itll be all his fault #dont rb btw #epitaphs: textpost

5 notes

👿 anger-management-official

#poll #small musician #music #polls #HAHA I FOUND THIS IN DRAFTS I THINK ARTHUR MEANT TO POST IT YESTERDAY #I EDITED SOME OF THE OPTIONS FOR HIM LMAOO

14 notes

🍜 kt003-415-deactivated-20150831

ill be deactivaing this acount soon, i dont get a phone were im going '). love u guys!! dont come lookig for me!!

🍑 upto30meters

KATYA IM COMING

#I DIDNT KNOW SHE HAD A TUMBLR???? SANYA WAS THIS UR DOING????? #WHAT WAS SHE DOING ON TUMBLR SHE COULDNT EVEN SPELL

2 notes

🐱 itzanya14

FORCING MY BOYFRIEND TO READ WARRIOR CATS WISH US LUCK

#talking tag #boyfriend tag #weve been really stressed out lately (family drama basically) so were gonna unwind with some wc uwu

4 notes

🚗 ilovemyjesusandfightingandmygf

@yanikastudy HOW DO I POST

📚 yanikastudy

you just did dear))

#not academia #❤️: vanya

3 notes

🌀 spasticlightsky

My girlfriend (<3) is making me read a very confusing book. I don't believe cats are this intelligent.

0 notes

🏞 srgkzrn

I fucking hate kids

#Never should have let this idiot get near my sister #Vent

0 notes

🔥 ifthiswasthemanagement

im gonna kill my brother

#DOES HE KNOW WHAT PROFESSIONALISM IS #whatever whatever its just a dumbass poll #but its pissing me off #why would he remove the see results button????? #NOT TO MENTION I WAS KEEPING IT IN DRAFTS FOR A REASON #goddd #delete later

5 notes

⚗️ zonefucker69

I'm ashamed at the board's lack of scientific taste(((

0 notes

🕶 cassettephones-deactivated-20110418

me and my brother are going to haunt the narrative so hard someday, rb if u agree

37 notes

[localwhoore]

can you stupid ass pick me lando fans STOP trying to “noooo his names not acccctually lando norris its ackshually bob!!1!!1!1!! we have to gaaatekeep guyysssuhhh the 😡NEWGENS😡 are gonna take overrruhhhhh he wont be ours anymoooorreeeeee” KILL YOURSELF DUDE HES A CELEBRITY ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DEEP DONT ACT AS IF YOU DIDNT GET INTO F1 BY WATCHING A LANDO EDIT THAT GUESS WHAT THE PEOPLE DIDNT GATEKEEP SO FUCK OFF

“here as proof i was a lando girly before chicken shop date!” YOU GUYS WANTED HIM ON THE SHOW AND NOW YOURE COMPLAINING THAT HE IS AND WHINING AND CRYING AND FUCKING SNOBBLING ALL OVER YOUR SCREEN BECAUSE HE WAS IN AN INTERVIEW THAT YOU VOTED FOR HIM TO BE IN BECAUSE SOME OTHER FANS ARE GONNA SEE HIM MORE THAN YOU?? WAAAH WAAAAH CRY ABOUT IT NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FLICKERING FLOATING FUCK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SCREAM AND COMPLAIN IN COMMENT SECTIONS IT AINT GONNA DO JACK SHIT YOU FUCKING PICK ME WANNABE WAG BITCH

“oh my god is already happeneing…. theyre finding out abt him!!! gatekeep gatekeep” YOURE BUILT LIKE A GATE YOU FUCKING NOLIFER ACTUALLY TOUCH SOME GRASS YOU CRAZY ASS INCEL 💀💀 OFC PEOPLE ARE BOUND TO FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE HES FUCKING FAMOUS DUDE AND OBVIOUSLY YOU FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE IF YOURE TRYNA GATEKEEP HIM RIGHT? RIGHT??

no joke i saw a comment reply to someone saying hes cute but doesnt know who he is scream and cry and whine and BITCH AND MOAN that “noooo hes ours for the f1 community only xx 💖💖🥰🥰” Hes not going to date you. You’re probably ugly as dogshit that someone stepped on irl.

AND THEN WHEN SOMEONE TOLD THEM TO DROP IT BECAUSE THEY AINT GONNA DATE HIM THEY SAID SOME STUPID ASS SHIT LIKE “well you dont know how i feel so strongly abt him he needs to be protected from the new fans!! xx 🙄” what the fuck ?? are u mentally ill? are u fucking crazy? did you get dropped on your head as a baby down a flight of stairs?

And before ANY of u come after me saying “oh my gawd u probably got into f1 through a lando edit too don’t even 🙄🤪ur js like us” NO i did not ive known abt ts since i was THREE YEARS OF AGE ANDDD DOOOONT PULL UP W SOME “yeah ur probably a charles fan instead then average female fan” im an oscar and yuki and zhou defender go fuck yourself with your lando themed dildo cz he aint want u and thats the closest ur shit ass is gonna get

[sulfies]

can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️

Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)

He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)

not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.

I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)

He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.

Small history lesson:

- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)

-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.

Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training

He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)

He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D

For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?

He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)

History lesson 2:

-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.

-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.

-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)

there is many gay ass poems ^

He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)

Him about others:

Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio

Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.

Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…

————-

Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.

Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol

Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.

sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:

-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts

-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced

-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)

-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop

-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p

- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….

for the girlies

-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p

[dailymidori]

HI GUYS IM OTSU YOU PROBABLY KNOW ME HAHA VERY FAMOUS BLOGGER YES THATS ME WELCOME TO MY BLOG WHERE ILL POST MIDORI ART HOPEFULLY EVERY DAY BUT IT MIGHT BE MORE LIKE EVERY WEEK

FACTS ABT ME

IM OTSU OR OAT OR WHATEVER IDGAF

PRNS ARE HE/HIM I AM A MAN

IVE BEEN A MIDORI ENJOYER SINCE LIKE 2021 I THINK…… JEEZ TIME RLLY FLIES

IM NOT A FAN OF SUICIDE JOKES CUZ THEYRE BAD FOR U BUT IF YOU LIKE MY ART AND DONT RB IT I MIGHT ACTUALLY HANG MYSELF

Q+A WHO IS MIDORI?? midori (also named sou hiyori) is a character from the game your turn to die (also called kimi ga shine) hes the main antagonist of chapter 3A and my GOD i want him to antagonize me WHAT DO YOU SHIP [INSERT MIDORI SHIP HERE]?? THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY NO BUT ILL STILL DRAW IT ANYWAY IF U WANT DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS?? sure!! give me some ideas folks ARE YOU A MIDORI APOLOGIST? YEAH SORRY I THINK ITS REALLY HOT WHEN HE KILLS AND TORTURES AND MANIPULATES PEOPLE DONT CANCEL ME

[xxinsomniac-maxxx]

Abt me :3

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢ ﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉୨♡୧﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉ ╰─ ♡ about me: ୨୧┇name: Max ୨୧┇gender: enby (i think. but for sure genderqueer) ୨୧┇pronouns: she/they (but u can call me anything except "it") ୨୧┇age: minor (sry, not sharing it online) ୨୧┇nationality: proudly polish

https://en.pronouns.page/@xXMaxXx ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍

I'll mainly reblog, cuz i'm lazy, but ill post vents and maybe some photos of sh. also ill post abt shit i like cuz i my account will be freaking mulitasking ig

﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍ ╰─ ♡ my favorite… ୨୧┇colors: yellow, white and black ୨୧┇animal: racoons (they're so cute omfg) ୨୧┇bands/singers: msi, maneskin, mitski, marina, mother mother ୨୧┇shows/comics/books: bsd, jjk, sbg, hazbin, helluva boss, kny, alnst, marvel, riordanverse, tgcf, killing stalking (dont ask. cuz idk) ୨୧┇food/drinks: fries, coffee, cola, sprite ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍ i also have insomnia like my username says (i wish it was a joke TvT) ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍ ╰─ DNI homo and trans phobes, rasicts and pedos ﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍﹍ im bi and im taken. im depressed (diagnosed) and probably autistic. i sometimes have manic episodes idk why. i may have bpd but idc, idk. i also have and ed? ig. im a pretty nice person id say lol. im accepting of therians, furries and etc. if u want to vent you can, just put tw. ⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣⌣

[nhularin]

Some Enhypen headcanons because I'm bored

warnings: crack, nonsensical stuff😭😭 dont take this seriously please, me being delulu, dts in heeseungs, its 4 am my mind isnt minding, not proofread

HEESEUNG

Man

I feel like since he has his own room and yk, is a certified gamer™

He rage quits a lot and throws shit around

" User Goku_outdoer_forever stop playing around and get ur shit together or ill kill u!!!!" he's 13 please calm down Mr. Lee

his poor members will be startled awake by his outbursts

talking abt gamer boy hee

his room REEKS of sweat, energy drinks and pent up rage

its okay boo i still love u xx

Jay

facebook mom

"niki why are u making that face, SMILE"

takes 10k food pics from 9229 different angles

its ok tho the house smells amazing bc of him

fashion influencaaaa

Nope its not sunghoon sorry guys

forces jungwon or jake to rate his outfits of the week (in exchange for food of course)

Gets pissed when they rate it a score lower than 9 ( how dare u insult my ability to put clothes together)

Jake

How do i say this in the nicest way

This man gives me massive Kevin Nguyen vibes

Especially with his black hair and glasses

the way je flirts with engenes is criminal

dude i thought we had something serious why are u cheating on me

the type to drive up to ur house in a red maserati and baseball cap

ykw the whole oitfit of jake in subway surfers 😭

its okay babe ill ignore ur red flags

SUNGHOON

he sleeps with his eyes WIDE open

so damn still too😭 is he dead or just having a peaceful slumber??? No one knows

he reminds me of a lululemon girl (no i will not explain myself)

no thoughts behind those eyes

MC Sunghoon will forever be in my heart

tried to google funny gen z jokes but ended up on the wrong side of reddit

Now he's stuck with bad dad jokes :/ he thinks theyre funny too (they are babe ill always find them funny"

Wonyo and him gossip about the whole industry

might even be worse than sunoo...

i can see him being a (fanfic) writer

runs a red velvet (irene) account

SUNOO

Im scared

Dude is probably friend's with like half of the kpop industry

probably has a burn book (kidding!)

owns a fan account and causes fanwars

"Enha flops!" Watch as chaos unfolds

since its confirmed that idols have finstas

he owns a tea account abt hybe especially abt enhypen

" sunghoon smells like shit and doesnt wipe after pissing - s.jy" we all know its u sunoo

JUNGWON

biggest blackmailer

probably has shit on everyone and their mother

"Whattttt no he's innocent and would never do that" oh he would.

remember how he danced / popped in his sleep during i-land? now its worse

LMAOOOO imagine him bolting up fromhis bed like hes being electrocuted

poor sunoo sees his life flashing by

Okay i know this might sound crazy and so not jungwon but hear me out

He owns a tiktok stan account for jungkook

and makes those "would ____ survive a jungkook killer smile???" Videos and proceeds to add John Cena and JYP

Sunoo and him are the unbeatable duo when it comes to defending their faves

but when it comes to their own group.... crickets!!!!

NIKI

Gym RAT

not the good kind either he looks like he smells

kidding

or am i

probably spends hours in the bathroom trying to work on his thirst trap face

"riki stop hogging the bathroom" " im shitting!"

learns gg dances in his free time

yall definitely saw his pre debut videos man was EATING IT UPPPPP

imagine him dancing to poppy with his overgrown fetus body

#1 isa fan and swith im sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️