#stinky ass loser

[ennard-is-near]

We know like three things for sure about Michael Afton and one of them is that he smells soooooo bad

[thegreatyin]

completely normal roommates bonding over completely normal things like *flips through notes* murdering each other and having complicated opinions on giant alien bats

[uhzuku]

sigh

[spaghett-onaplate]

frustrated about my dental health

[totalincandescense]

See the great thing about Phil Lester is he contains multitudes. He is bottle blonde babe, hotter than boiling water husband material. He is a bossy bitch who can bat his eyelashes and get anything he wants. He is a wildly intelligent and interesting person with two college degrees and a catalogue of fun facts to rival Jeopardy’s database. He’s a creative genius and a brilliant storyteller with a brain that needs to be studied in a laboratory. He is passenger princess girlfailure card carrying silly goose. He’s the sweetest man alive. He’s a loser. He’s a stinky baby. He’s a six on the Kinsey scale. He’s the patron saint of lesbians. He has a fat ass. I’m in love with him. He’s also a horrible evil man and I’m going to kill him with hammers (affectionate). What a guy

[umbral-archives]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T REBLOG THIS ALREADY???

Hey @umbral-archives come get your mans

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Isagi Yoichi, the hero of Japan and biggest egoist on the field, being a complete loser when it comes to the girl he likes.

Like, he may insult the opposing team's players (and even his own teammates sometimes!) in the field, but gets all red and stutters when he needs to talk to you.

Isagi Yoichi who is absolutely delusional. If he holds a conversation with you for more than 5 minutes, you can bet he's gonna think about it during THE WHOLE WEEK. His friends can't escape his feelings either: he's always talking about you or associating things with you. Like: "Oh, she would like this!" Or "You guys won't believe it: we talked for almost 10 minutes today!" Please save Hiori and Bachira. They can't take it anymore. (Well, Bachira doesn't really care, but Hiori is really almost losing his shit.)

This absolute dork would listen to love songs while thinking about you and then get all blushy after, hugging a pillow while stuffing his red face on it and everything. And heaven forbids anyone enters his room after you compliment him! He's kicking his feet, screaming, crying and laughing all at the same time. SPECIALLY if it's a compliment regarding his football abilities. Say something along the lines of "That goal today was amazing, Yoichi! It was such a smart play!" and he's melting and thinking about it through the whole month.

Speaking of football, he'd LOVE to see you in his soccer games/practices cheering loudly for him. I mean, he's already absolutely smitten for you, but seeing you there screaming because of his goal or smiling because of a play he made just makes his obsession love for you grow 10 times bigger!!

He'd even ask his mom for advice on what to say to you! She thinks it's cute her little boy is growing up (even though he's already 17), so she tries to help him the best she can. But there's just so much mama can do. He tries to follow her teachings, but, as I said before, always stutters and trips over his words, which makes him feel really stupid and almost give up on love, since it's a "very hard and painful feeling that just hurts people" (his words).

When he finally musters up the courage to ask you out on a date (after a lot of insistence from Hiori, who is just really tired from all of this), he wants it all to go perfect. He has it all pictured in his head: he'll ask you to meet him in the back of the school after extracurricular activities so he can ask you out. He'll have flowers and everything, and then he'll say that speech he spent the last 14 days memorizing. You'll say yes with a smile in you face (he's already blushing just from imagining your smile, he really is down bad) and then you'll live your happilly ever after together.

Spoiler alert: nothing went as planned. First, the letter he wrote asking you to meet him in the back of the school got wet because he accidentally spilt water on it. So, he had to make a half-assed substitute letter to put in your desk.

Second, he forgot soccer leaves people all stinky. So, at the end of practice, he had to choose between taking a shower and showing up all drenched and late and showing up sweaty and smelly. He choose the former, after all, showing up late but presentable is better than showing up early but looking like you got shit on by a racoon.

Third, when he finally got there (you were almost leaving, thank God he caught you just in time!) and apologized for being late, he gave you the flowers. He thought nothing else could go wrong, but things can always get worse than they already are. But I don't blame him for not knowing that things could, in fact, get worse: how was he supposed to guess there were literally bees in the flowers? To get rid of them, he tried to shook the bouquet, but accidentally ended up throwing it at your face. With bees and all.

You screamed. He screamed. He grabbed the bouquet and shoved it away, looking at the ground and wishing it'd just swallow him whole. He messed up his chance, you'd never ever even look at his way again. You hated him, absolutely hated him. You wish he was dead, you were going to change schools just to never see him again, he's the worse person ever-

Huh? What is that sound? You're laughing...? You're seriously laughing?

You laughed. He got confused.

He looked up. You were throwing your head back while wiping away the tears that got out of your eyes. You were clutching your stomach because you were laughing so hard it was starting to hurt.

You laughed. He laughed.

You both looked like maniacs. Lunatics. Laughing alone in the middle of nowhere. You looked crazy he WAS crazy. Crazy for you. Not that you knew it at that time

He then decided to just shoot his shot and finally asked you out, without flowers or memorized speech. He didn't even think you'd accept, he just thought it wouldn't hurt to try.

Imagine his face when you said yes. Even with the shitty proposal and embarassing moments, you said yes. And he was absolutely delighted. You gave him your number so he could text you the details about the date, and he was seriously shaking. I'm being for real, his pupils were blown wide and he was almost crying from happiness.

He went home jumping and skipping from happiness. Now, he wasn't just a loser. He was a loser with a date, so that makes him less loserly (at least that's what he thinks).

You accepting his proposal didn't make him talk less about you. Actually, he was now talking about you more than before, if it's even possible. Hiori felt like killing himself (he was happy for his friend, of course, he just didn't want to admit it).

This fic has a "sequel", it's this one

Masterlist

[eccentricwritingbaby]

funny wife, happy life

carlos sainz x wife!reader

summary - the grids beloved couple have begun a prank war, subjecting the drivers and fans to their hilarious antics

masterlist

request by anonnie :) thank you love! - hey you could write about carlos that he and Y/N his wife that they are the funniest couple in the paddock that Y/N has the same personality as carlos that they often play pranks on each other on tiktok

-

your knees were cramping, on the verge of giving out, as you held your hidden position in your husband’s drivers room. charles had told you he’d be back in a few minutes. a few minutes. ha! you’ve been sitting here for ages and you’re about to collapse. until finally you hear the sweet, sweet sounds of your husband's laugh approaching you quickly. you give a quick scramble to collect yourself and pull up your tik tok account in order to record the heart attack soon to be inflicted upon carlos. the door handle jiggles and opens, alerting you of his presence. his footsteps become closer to your hidden position behind a few large items and abruptly stop. you take it as your queue to jump but before you can-

“BOO!” your husband screeches at you with his phone in your face as you let out a mirroring yell and fall backwards on your ass. 

“AYE DIOS MIO!” you hold your hand over your racing heart and carlos crumples to the floor in a fit of hysterics. you can’t help but join in soon, but not without playfully swatting at him in a joking matter of pretending to be angry. 

“mi-mi amor,” carlos tries his hardest to get out in between laughs as he begins to sit up, “you’re too easy!” he falls again, most likely due him replaying the scenario again in his head.

“aye! easy? i believe i remember you begging for a date with me, señor,” you continue to chuckle at his phrasing, teasing him relentlessly felt like a duty to you. 

“whatever,” he brushes off the playful comment and turns his attention to the video he recorded of you on his phone, “y/n, this is too funny,” 

“si, bueno. i wish i got that video of you instead, though” you act out a solemn expression and carlos sees right through your jokes.

“well you didn’t, loser. i’m posting this,”

-

you and carlos had opted for a night in after the race due to his fatigue and your absolute need for a shower. after lando had pleaded with you both for a minute to rethink your decision as you were walking back to the hotel, he ultimately gave up trying and muttered a slight ‘old married couple’ at you and carlos while the both of you just laughed at his mini tantrum. 

once inside your hotel room, carlos headed for the shower, but stopped and turned when he noticed you weren’t following.

“i thought you wanted to shower, amor?” he asked in your direction.

“i do, but i kind of want to shower alone tonight, lo siento,” you respond while biting your lower lip to not give away your amusement. see - you had a plan. while carlos was in the shower you were going to get to the vanity and paint on a fake hickey. set up your phone. and get him back for ruining your prank earlier. 

carlos stands looking at you with a bit of skepticism. you rarely shower separately, only when upset with each other and he was beginning to worry, “aye, are you mad about earlier? me scaring you?”

“love, the only thing that is scaring me right now is how stinky you are. i’m not mad i just don’t need a smelly shower with you,” you shrug off his accusation with a laugh in order to lighten the mood and your husband catches on, chuckling with you.

“okay, you don’t need to tell me twice,” he begins to make his way over to you with his arms out wide, “you do want a stinky hug before i hop in, no?” calling your bluff he tries to latch his arms around you as you scream and try to run away.

“sto-stop!” you giggle as he grabs you in his arms, “eww! carlos!” the whine slips from your lips as he starts planting kisses all over your neck and face, tickling you causing you to let out more laughter. his grip loosens and he backs away towards the bathroom, grabbing his change of clothes off the dresser as he does so. one arm raised and a finger pointed at you he lets go of a very loose warning, “this isn’t over, cariño,”

“oh no!” you gasp in dramatics, “the tickle monster! what am i five?” carlos just laughs and releases a ‘loca’ under his breath as he shuts the bathroom door and turns on the shower. you then quickly get to work with your makeup, planting the perfect looking hickey in a place he hasn’t seen all day, but will very soon. once it was done, you discreetly hide your phone and patiently wait on the bed for carlos to leave the bathroom. 

fresh out of the shower, your husband steps into your room with just a pair of sweatpants on as he continues to run the towel over his damp hair. you take that as your sign to begin your prank and tie your hair up into a bun - giving carlos the perfect view of your neck. walking over to him, you plant a kiss on his lips and step back from him as he turns his attention towards his wife. looking you up and down for a second, making eye contact with the hickey, you feign confusion and innocence by proceeding to ask, “que, mi amor? is there something on my face?” you attempt to turn and ‘check’ yourself in the mirror, but carlos pulls on your arm, spinning you around to face back at him. he quickly discards the towel in his hand, throwing it to the floor, as he looks closer at your neck. 

“did you hurt yourself, cariño?” he asks softly, “maybe with one of your hair tools or something,” he finishes as if he’s almost assuring himself. 

“no? what is this carlos?” you question, trying your damnedest not to let out a smile.

“tienes algo en el cuello,” you have something on your neck uh oh. carlos only spoke direct spanish with you when he was deep in a feeling - lust, happiness, anger. “parece un…” it looks like a… 

“que?” you ask softly.

“a hickey, y/n. it looks like a hickey. y sé muy bien que no fui yo quien te dio esto,” and i know very well it was not me that gave you this

“oh, oh that? ya, um, actually that might be from my curling iron, you were right!” responding lightly only made carlos narrow his eyes at you further. 

“y/n, qué hice mal,” what did i do wrong?

“oh no, carlos, baby, nothing- you did nothing wrong,” you panic at his sadness and hold his face in your hands, “it’s just a prank, los, te lo prometo,” i promise you

he looks down at you, widening his eyes in hope before he says anything, then you hear - so quietly you almost miss it, ‘take it off’. 

“i will, i will baby. come here, come with me,” you lead him into the bathroom, grabbing your makeup wipes in haste and rubbing the fake hickey right off your neck. you hear your husband let out a long and deep exhale before he gives your sides a squeeze. 

“you just took ten years off my life with that stress, amor,”

“lo siento, carlos. i’ll even show you the video where i put it on if that makes you feel better,” you turn around in his hold and give him not one, not two, but three quick pecks to the lips as you drag him back into the room to retrieve your phone. as of that moment, carlos begins plotting his revenge. 

-

the next week, your husband and you arrive early at the paddock for race day due to his necessary media duties. with your hands intertwined, you begin making your way to the ferrari garage - passing a few reporters and fans on the way. while making your way, a few fans had called out to the both of you. carlos always joked that his fans loved you more than him, but every joke has a bit of truth to it. 

“y/n! carlos! over here! can we get a picture?”

your husband - ever the gentleman - turns his attention to the young group of girls at the barricade and leads you both over to them. once carlos had signed a few things and taken a few pictures, you both turn to leave but are prevented by the girls. 

“y/n! can we get a picture with you too!” carlos checks you over, asking you non-verbally if you’re okay with it and you slightly nod in his direction to signify the answer. bending down and over slightly, the girls grab a few selfies with you and speak to you about their love for your tik toks, tweets, and overall personality. with your light ego boost, you turn and chuckle to your husband. 

“isn’t it great that your fans love me more?” you give him a sly smile and a poke to his stomach as he laughs along with you.

“aye, they’re just saying that to make you feel better, amor,” he shoots back quickly.

“nuh-uh,” you scoff back, “they love me so much more, i think i better be the one to race today,” at this point the girls are recording your interaction while giggling at the banter your husband and you have provided. 

“in your dreams, cariño,” he bites back with a smile.

with that comment, you whip around to face the group, “do you hear how he speaks to me? my own husband! he hates me!” you sigh dramatically as carlos pulls you into his arms. the crowd before you erupts in laughter at your antics and your husband bids polite goodbyes, leading you away. you’re both leaving in cackles as you continue to jab each other back and forth.

as you round the corner to the ferrari garage, you both run into fernando walking towards aston martin. 

“hola, nando!” you call out with a wave. he stops curtly and leans in your direction, arms parting for a hug. you receive it kindly, swaying lightly back and forth all while exchanging pleasantries. 

“aye, he oído felicitaciones están en orden,” i hear congratulations are in order fernando presses with a smile.

“porque felicitaciones?” why congratulations? you ask back to him. 

“oh! lo siento, ¿se supone que nadie debe saberlo?” i’m sorry, is no one supposed to know?

your confusion ends when you turn to your now - dying laughing - husband at your left, “¿le dijiste a todo el mundo que estaba embarazada?” did you tell everyone i was pregnant?

carlos can’t even shake out words at this point due to laughter as he just begins to vigorously nod his head yes. fernando takes this as his sign to head back in his previous direction, chuckling under his breath something about ‘these damn kids again’. 

“you’re dead, carlos sainz,” you state matter-of-factly at him. 

“i’m sorry, me or my fathe-”

“YOU KNOW WHO!” you yell back, cutting off his smart ass comment, “does the whole grid really think im fucking pregnant, you ass?” this time carlos’ laughter is cut short and he just slowly shakes his head yes, nervousness now overwhelming his features instead of amusement. 

“do you now realize how stupid that was?” you ask him again. again he slowly nods his head yes, his eyes only meeting his shoes. out of your peripheral, you can see lando approaching the both of you and he holds out his arms in glee.

“there are my favorite soon-to-be parent-”

“SHUT IT!” you snap in his direction, “the only child i will be raising for the foreseeable future is the one in front of me,” you nod your head towards carlos, and his eyes - again - never leave his shoes. lando begins to laugh even louder than your husband did before at his friend being scolded like a child.

“oh i am so tweeting about this,” he lets out between laughs. 

you take a glance over at your husband and whisper a light ‘karma’ into his ear before you kiss his cheek and head off to find his family in the garage. 

-

after the race, carlos is doing interviews and you are searching to find him. not being in the media pen, but instead just along the gates talking to reporters, you easily walk up to your husband and wait over to the side for him to finish. the reporter speaking to him notices your presence and begins to wave you over. you shake it off quickly, wanting your husband to have his shining moment, but instead he also joins in waving you over - causing you to reluctantly head in their direction. 

“hi!” you squeak out to the reporter, carlos pulling you into his side and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

“hi, y/n! thank you for joining us for the interview!” the young woman starts. 

“thank you for letting me crash!” you reply back with a giggle. 

“not crashing, you’re here by invitation,” your husband speaks up, kissing your forehead after doing so.

“i’m sorry if we were too forward to invite you,” the reporter chimes in fast.

“no, no!” you assure back, “i just didn’t want to outshine ‘ole carlos over here, you know how it is,” you joke, giving the reporter and your husband a laugh. 

“for sure,” the young woman gives you, “we love you two as a couple, you both have been informally deemed the grids funniest couple with all your banter and tik tok pranks, how do you both feel about that title?”

“it’s a heavy weight to carry,” you dramatically sigh, “i have to keep the people on their toes and give them what they want,” the reporter laughs once again at your comments as you shrug before your husband chimes in, “funny wife, happy life - right?” you all share one more laugh before the reporter lets you two depart. 

as you’re walking out of the paddock, hand in hand, you reach up on your toes to plant a kiss to carlos’ lips. he hums back in approval, stopping you, with his hold moving to your waist and pressing deeper. you smile into the kiss and can feel him doing the same. once pulling apart, your husband stares into your eyes, the contact moving from eye to eye to lips. you almost crumble watching him shamelessly adore you. 

“what are you thinking about, amor?” you gently ask, attempting not to ruin the soft moment with loud diction.

“just how much i love you, cariño,” his reply is simple, yet means so much. even though you both are playful with your antics and pranks, your love is something that never falters with seriousness. and you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[deadghosy]

I love your work so much imagine ben Drowned in hasbin hotel.

Them crawling out of the TV and alistor is like I don't like tv but can you mess with vox😭.

SURE!! LOL! 🦆💗If anyone wants to do a creepypasta! Reader, I will make it a fanon version cause that’s most easier since I’ve always seen the fanon side of creepypasta when I was into the fandom💗

HAZBIN HOTEL X BEN DROWNED! READER

prompt: after jumping into a tv to hide from being stabbed by Jeff…you accidentally went into a show called HAZBIN HOTEL……

Your dumbass didn’t even check what was on tv…it was just left on as you are now falling to a city in a shape of a…..pentagram?

Welll shit…you are in a hell cartoon…

Meanwhile with Jeff: “where the fuck is that short tacked bitch…” he said holding his knife tightly as his eyes glanced at the tv. “That bastard!”

MEANWHILE WITH YOU: You pointed to a service pole and started to surge through the electrical wire into some random old tv box. You pressed your hand through the tv screen and came out of it. As you came out of it a gasp was heard to see a bunch of characters…..oh boy…

After basically getting chased around the hotel and interrogated…they let you stay by Charlie’s words as she was excited to have another member to her crew at last. 

Few weeks later, they have gotten use to you. I mean Alastor still keeps an eye on you as you play games and go through electronics around the place.

Angel thinks it’s funny for you to hack Valentino’s page to make his bio say “I have a small dick.”

Vaggie makes you go out on errands until she can find you a decent duty at least. But she appreciates how you help around a lot.

Husk thinks your pretty annoying because of your gen z & gen alpha humor. I headcannon ben and you to basically be a media specialist to learn the lingo around and to understand the generation.

“Hey husk…” “hey kid…” “you’re so not alpha male…” “…the fuck?” “Sooo not slay.” “Get the fuck out my face.” *cue you doing a gremlin ass laugh*

I can see Velvette making fun of you for wearing the link fit😭 she would be confused as if you were a stinky cosplayer kid-

“GOOD HELL?! What are you wearing dear..” the female vee says as you look down to your link outfit. “What’s wrong with it? I think I look ✨f a b u l o u s✨” you said with sass

“You look horrendous. THAT’S what you look like.” Velvette says. You rolled your eyes as she snapped her fingers giving you black converses, tan brown pants, and a green hoodie. She had let you keep your link hat as you actually liked how you looked.

Maybe when you get back to slender’s mansion you can spend his card to buy an outfit like this.

I imagine Charlie or niffty trying to wipe off the blood tears of your eyes thinking you were crying as you stand there like “what is going on-🤨” most definitely the face look like this “:T”

Angel dust brought you a gaming set from a thrift shop as you smiled happily at this and started to play….only to find out it had knock off versions of the games in the human world….impta?! (GTA) PENTACRAFT?! (Minecraft) hellmon?? (Pokémon)

You immediately thrown the gaming set outside and decided to go hack Vox’s system for fun again.

I can imagine reader sending random “if you don’t like this, Lucifer is coming for you.” posts to random sinner to fuck with them.

I can DEFINITELY see Alastor asking you to go mess with Vox’s tech even if he doesn’t like those picture boxes. “Ben/Reader, my fine fellow..I got a favor to ask of you.” After he asked you to go mess with this dude named Vox. You smiled as you transported into your own tv and go to the vee tower.

You hacked into Vox’s system as he spit his coffee out to see “nya cat” on all his computers and devices as you snicker seeing Vox’s face trying to fix it. You laughed showing yourself as your bloody tears roll down your face because of laughing. “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Vox asked angrily

“IM YOU! BUT BETTER! GET HACKED LOSER!” You said before disappearing from his system as Vox claws his desk in anger.

Alastor had a good chuckle when you told him what you did. “I never liked this picture boxes…but you my friend, are true entertainment.” After this your relationship with Alastor grew as he would pay you handsomely with snacks as you go and piss Vox off on any other day.

Valentino and Vox hate your guys to the point they want to kill you while Velvette is just chill with you as she helps you with your outfits and aesthetics.

I imagine since Ben drowned also looks like link, you have long hair like link but sometimes cut it down to bit length to not trip on it.

You give off that “new worker at McDonald’s” vibes as you would just play around instead of helping the residents😭

“Can I have keycard?” “….how about no?”

I imagine you just tapping on and off a lamp post boredly as Valentino keeps going towards it and away from. “On….off…on…off…” you liked to mess with people

You had tapped on sir Pentious’s device once and it exploded…yeah you were pretty much banned from his room and lab. But it was worth it.

You definitely wrestle with husk as husk will just try to claw out your eyes only him to just get pepper sprayed by you.

“AGG MY FUCKIN' EYES!!” “I didn’t know this shit would work on demons..”

Lucifer was definitely intrigued with your appearance as you seemed like a human. But also had a demonic appearance. So he questioned you and you just kept saying “SWAG!” He got tired of it and demanded you as the ruler of hell.

It didn’t work as you just shrug with a “:D” face and transported into a wire. Lucifer was bamboozled as he just stood there like “what just happened”

You showed niffty how to beat any person during a game as you, yourself is a hacker and can beat any game personally.

You looked at the phone that you stole from that flat faced dude as you smirked having an idea as you transported into the phone to try and go find Jeff. And lucky you did as he was sitting on the couch watching wrestling.

“Heyyy buddy.” You said looking through the tv to see Jeff. He scoffed seeing that his favorite program was ruined by your face. Jeff turned off the tv. Your face was like a pikachu shocked face. “THAT BITC-”

[honeylations]

AERI UCHINAGA x FEM!READER

Prompt: You were dragged to a club for the first time to celebrate your birthday, and your loser ass didn’t think you’d pull the finest woman you’d ever seen

Warnings/Notes: g!p loser reader, virgin reader, unprotected sex, overstimulation

A/N: I think it was a crime for me to not have written a fic for my beloved Aeri yet. She’s bad as helllll 🤤

“Somi, I don’t like it here. Can we go?”

Your best friend snapped her head at you in bewilderment upon just reaching the bar to get you both alcoholic drinks - in which by the way, you have very little knowledge about.

The only alcohol you know is Soju, and that’s just because Somi brings bottles home for herself to chug.

“Y/n seriously? We just got here”

“It’s loud and stinky. I don’t know anyone here”

The foreign girl rolled her eyes and stood in front of you with a hand on her hip. “That’s the point of clubs, bestie. People come here to meet new faces or eat new faces”

You cringed at the last part.

“But we’re mostly here to celebrate your birthday okay? Plus, our friends are here”

“Who?”

Somi pointed at a vip booth in the corner where Natty, Julie, Belle, and Haneul were sharing a cheerful conversation between shots and cocktails.

You turned back to your best friend who magically had two glasses of vodka lemonade. “Let’s go”

Following Somi to the booth like a timid puppy, a few pretty ladies eyed you like candy, even giving you a flirtatious smile to which you bowed your head out of shyness.

You didn’t know it, but it was definitely your outfit pulling women like a magnet. You wore a black button up tucked in wide black slacks and a belt to hold it in place, matching your loafers.

Finally reaching your friends, Somi looked at you and sighed at seeing you had all your buttons popped in. “Y/n, what did I say about the buttons? You look like you’re going to church!”

“I’d rather be at church than this hell hole!”

“What’s the point of you getting tattoos when all you do is cover it up! Be a whore for once!” Your best friend hissed, releasing the top 3 buttons of your top, moving on to unbutton your sleeves to roll them up halfway.

“There. Much better, ain’t that right girls?” Somi smirked at her friends who hollered in agreement.

“Happy birthday, sexy Y/n!” Jennie screamed, waving the tequila bottle around.

“It’s my first time seeing you like this Y/n, you look great!” Belle complimented.

“Yeah so sexy~” Natty added after.

“I like your tattoos Y/n!” Haneul then had her share of compliments which got you blushing from their kind words.

“T-Thank you..”

“I take all the credit” Somi proudly stated and raised her glass. “To the unloserfication of Y/n!”

You all clinked your glasses and had a good amount of your beverage before Julie filled you a shot of tequila.

You gave her a deadpanned look.

“Grow up, Y/n. It’s time for you to try new things!”

Sighing in defeat, you took a deep breath and downed the shot, coughing afterwards from the burning taste. “I don’t know how you enjoy this. It’s horrible”

“It gets better when you have more, trust me!” Natty stepped in to pour you a row of shots.

“I don’t think I can do all that—“

“I’m not taking no for an answer. Go go go!”

Belle lightly shoved you forwards and within a few seconds, you had finished every shot glass Natty prepared, feeling the buzz through your entire body.

“I-I feel…so…so weird” You slurred, making the girls laugh.

“Drunk already Y/n? We haven’t even danced yet! Let’s go!!” Somi grabbed your hand and next thing you know it, your whole group where mixed in the messy crowd under the neon lights.

Everyone was enjoying the loud music while you stood there awkwardly in the middle, not realising you had lost your friends within the sea of drunk people. Even standing so tall at 173cm, you still couldn’t distinguish where they disappeared to.

You constantly looked around while staying on the spot, becoming uncomfortable at the unfamiliar bodies pressing against you.

That was until the most finest woman you had ever seen stood in front of you. It was clear that it was intentional from the way she started at you with such sultry eyes and a beautiful smile.

“Lost?” She leaned up to say in your ear from the loud music.

You just nodded with a pout.

The girl grabbed your hand. “Then stay with me. I’ll take care of you”

Being the loser you were, you nodded again. With that same pout.

“I’m Aeri!”

“I-I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you”

Aeri giggled and made you wrap your arms around her waist. “Don’t be so shy! Let’s party!”

“I don’t know how to dance!”

“Just feel the music Y/n!” Aeri cheered and made you sway your body with hers as she had her arms locked around your neck.

You got the hang of it eventually and then the music got more sexual, playing buttons by the pussycat dolls, affecting the atmosphere to grow hotter.

Aeri turned around and grinded her ass back into your front, surprising you entirely while you still held her waist. She looked back at you with a smirk, feeling how your grip tightened. “You like that, pretty girl?”

Seemed like you didn’t know how to speak anymore because all you could respond was a dorky nod. Aeri continued her bold ministrations but when a guy in front of her started reaching out to hold her hands, an icky feeling bolted through your veins, automatically making you pull Aeri close to your body.

The shorter girl got confused and titled her head around to question your sudden move. Then she saw the clear anger in your face as you gave an icy glare towards the strange man that reached for her a few seconds before. The man awkwardly walked his way out the situation, not willing to get his ass kicked by you.

“Jealous, puppy?”

Oh how the nickname made your dick twitch. Aeri really had an effect on you and you liked it a lot. The way she could easily hypnotise you into doing whatever she wanted.

“You promised you wouldn’t leave me”

Aeri chuckled and cupped your jaw to lean into your ear again. “Fuck you’re so cute. Let’s go somewhere more quiet hm?”

You were desperate to say yes immediately but then you remembered your friends. They’ll be worried sick. But then again, they ditched you first.

Even if Aeri was secretly some lesbian serial killer, at least it was a flex to be murdered by a hot woman who would surely wanna fuck first before plunging a knife through your neck.

You quickly reached for your phone and sent Somi a small message.

SAUR-MEE 🐀

[Gonna leave with a hot girl. Don’t wait up for me]

You saw her begin typing from her end but you locked your phone and slid in your back pocket before facing Aeri again.

“Good puppy” She kissed your cheek and started taking you outside the club while hand in hand.

“W-Where are we going?”

“My place. I’d rather fuck there than in a club”

Your heart jumped. You were gonna fuck Aeri? Yay!

Aeri let you inside her beautiful apartment and closed the door behind her once you stepped foot. She kicked off her heels, encouraging you to neatly place your shoes by her door.

“Come with me, cutie” She husked and walked you upstairs where her bedroom was, also locking you inside.

She stood close to you, running her hands over your exposed collarbones, seeing your tattoos underneath them. “Hmm…butterflies and roses?”

“M-My mom likes butterflies and roses”

Aeri let out a mixture of a sigh and chuckle. “You seem so innocent. A loser in a hot body”

Your ears went red. “Sorry. I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t even like clubs and alcohol”

“Awe dear. Why were you at there then?”

“I-It’s my birthday and my friends wanted to celebrate it at the club”

Aeri tilted her head at you, her aura softening at your timid state. “Hey baby, we don’t have to continue this if you’re uncomfortable”

You blinked and quickly wrapped your arms around Aeri’s waist. “N-No! I wanna stay with you”

“Alright puppy, I’ll guide you through this okay?”

“Mhm”

The Japanese girl had one hand cupping your jaw, leaning up to plant a soft kiss at your lips. It felt so warm and you couldn’t help but tilt your head to kiss her deeper, even prodding your tongue inside.

It surprised Aeri so much she had to pull away, almost out of breath. “You said you’ve never done this before”

“I’ve never had sex, but I’ve kissed a few girls in my time” you smiled and it was probably the first smile Aeri got from you tonight.

You were a mixture of pretty and handsome. A combination Aeri liked.

“Well then, show me how much of a good kisser you are Y/n”

You leaned down again, going in with full tongue that for Aeri moaning. Her noises sounded better than the girls you’ve watched on porn, and it seemed to have a quick effect on you, noticing that your dick was getting hard.

“My, my, what do we have here?” Aeri giggled against your lips while palming your crotch.

“I-I’m sorry..c-can’t help it”

“Aw baby, don’t be so shy. I can’t wait to have all of you tonight”

You watched the Japanese girl unbutton the rest of your top that exposed your bra and the rock hard abs below it. You were now completely topless and Aeri took a moment to admire more of your tattoos that littered your forearms.

“So sexy” she husked.

You gulped under her lustful gaze and her next move of unbuckling your belt to undo your pants, making it pool by your feet. Your boner looked bigger underneath your black boxers and Aeri just had to keep rubbing it all over, enjoying the feeling of it twitch.

“A-Aeri…” you breathed out.

“Hm, I don’t think it’s fair that I still have everything on. Take a seat on my bed, cutie”

You did as you were told and Aeri began unzipping her tight dress, giving you a good show of her revealed skin when abandoned the item of clothing on the floor.

Her matching lingerie were removed next, and before you know it, she was on her knees in front of you, spreading your legs to lean in and kiss at your clothed cock.

You groaned with the sheets tight in your fists, letting Aeri finally pull down your boxers that your cock sprang free, slapping against your stomach.

The size made the girl freeze. “Shit, you’re huge”

“I-Is it okay?”

Aeri smiled and held the base of it, slowly stroking you. “It’s perfect. And hot. You got everything I need, puppy. Here’s my birthday gift for you”

You released a throaty moan when Aeri was brave enough to attempt in engulfing your entire length in one go, but she could only make it halfway.

“F-Fuck!”

The stretch in her jaw ached as she jerked off the remaining length she couldn’t take, making her gurgle. Aeri looked up at you in tears, however, your head was thrown back letting her saw your perfect jaw and how your Adam’s apple bobbed.

“Aeri..It feels so good, Aeri”

The girl released your cock with a loud pop, moving her body up to straddle your lap and kiss at your neck, aiming to leave plenty of marks.

She made sure to give your collarbone tattoos a kiss too.

“W-Why did you stop?” You whimpered, giving Aeri your puppy eyes.

“Seems fun having you stretch my mouth, but I’m so desperate and horny baby. Need your cock to stretch my pussy instead”

“O-Oh..but a condom—“

“Ever heard of a pill, Y/n? It’s so I can let handsome puppies like you breed me”

You felt a bit jealous knowing that Aeri had slept with other people, but hey, you were the epitome of a loser while Aeri was this smoking hot woman that could pull the entire club as if she was a magnet.

Still though, after tonight you probably don’t want to be sleeping with anybody else.

“Hey, why so quiet?” Aeri’s soft voice called as she tilted your head up by the chin.

“Nothing…Is it safe to continue?”

“You know, people usually shut up and plunge their dick inside me until I cry. You’re different…So gentle with women as if they’ll break easily”

You rubbed Aeri’s waist, letting her words sink in. “That’s because I care alot. The last thing I want is to hurt you…plus we’ve established that I’m a virgin so I don’t think it would be a good move to just plunge my dick inside you until you cry” you giggled while mocking her words.

“So sweet. I’ll make sure you won’t stop thinking about me and how good I make you feel”

You licked your lips and felt Aeri grabbing your cock to line it with her entrance.

“I-I already felt like that the moment I laid eyes on you” you smoothly said, not knowing where this rizz came about.

“A-Ah!…God, you’re a sweet talker aren’t you?” Aeri gasped when she started to sit herself down on your huge cock.

She hid her face in your neck, wincing here and there as she sank lower. It took a whole minute for her to finally be sitting in your lap, practically impaled by you. “Hah…god it hurts so good, puppy”

You didn’t say anything as Aeri placed a flat palm in the centre of your chest and forcefully pushed you down on your back. She began moving her hips at a slow pace, delicious moans ripping out her lips and gradually moving faster until you could hear your skin slapping together.

“Y/n! I feel so full oh god!”

“Aeri, holy shit you’re so tight!” You hissed.

The intense pleasure had your hands automatically roaming around Aeri’s ass, squeezing the soft flesh and digging your nails into it as she rode your cock desperately.

This entire experience of getting laid opened your eyes a little bit to what you’ve been missing out on. If going to the clubs and drinking some shitty alcohol meant getting a hot girl riding your dick, then you might as well become a Somi 2.0. But what would it mean if you only wanted Aeri and no one else?

“This cock is mine puppy…hah…I want you to fucking belong to me. No one else can have you” Aeri moaned which was close to a growl.

You leaned up to kiss and suck at her big tits, enjoying the way they’d bounce in front of your face each time she rocked into your dick. Aeri moaned louder, holding your head close to her chest and muttering praises of how good you were making her feel.

“I want you to cum in me, Y/n! Please make me your cum dump, baby”

The vulgar words were like magic and made your eyes roll back with each motion of her tight pussy sucking you in. You laid back and got a good grip on Aeri’s ass to force her hips faster, then eventually thrusting your own hips up to meet her halfway.

Aeri lost her energy and laid on top of you while you used her like a fuck doll, the slight curve in your cock made her cry. “Oh f-fuck y/n, I’m cumming baby! Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop!”

On cue, Aeri screamed out your name and gushed her wetness all over your lower body, blabbering incoherent words in your ear and laying limp in your arms.

But your movement didn’t stop.

You were chasing for your own orgasm, not caring that the girl on top of you had already reached her climax and pushing her through over sensitivity.

So much for being gentle.

“W-Wait baby, a-ah!!”

You were panting like a mad dog in Aeri’s neck, licking and biting her skin, practically drilling your cock inside her hole. “Mmm so good so good Aeri. I love the way you feel around my cock…”

Your words made her cum a second time, hitting a lot stronger than the first.

“Fuck too tight!” You growled, the bubbling pit in your stomach had hit its high, releasing ropes after ropes of your thick cum inside the Japanese girl.

“Oh fuck Aeri!”

You relaxed into the mattress and caressed the girl’s back as you both tried to catch your breath. Sweat dripped down your bodies, filling the bedroom with intense heat, and your mind was slowly coming back from the clouds.

“How was that for your first fuck?” Aeri spoke with a grin.

You suddenly turned back to your shy self when you avoided eye contact. “I-I liked it”

She squished your cheeks until your lips pouted, leaning up to kiss it repeatedly. “That’s a thank you for fucking my brains out”

You didn’t say anything, clearly too shy and fucked out to even form a sentence.

“Hey Y/n…” Aeri called again, and this time you actually looked into her pretty eyes.

Wow, everything about her is pretty.

“Hm?”

“Usually after bringing people home to sleep with, I’d expect them out the house by early morning. But with you…” Aeri stopped her sentence to examine your face.

“I want you stay” she simply finished, tracing your lips with her thumb.

You reassured her with a smile.

A handsome smile.

You took her hand and kissed the back of her palm. “Let me treat you breakfast tomorrow. How does that sound?”

“Wow I didn’t expect that. Not only are you a loser in a hot body, but you also treat girls out to food after fucking the life out of them”

“Mmm I’m only willing to do it for pretty girls like you”

“Oh so you’ve taken out other girls before?”

“Uhhh no. You can be my first”

Aeri snuggled into your neck and chuckled. “I like the sound of that”

You let a beat pass before you tapped her shoulder. “I’m still inside you by the way”

“Ever heard of cockearming?”

[pokotho]

my theory is that pete and ruth were acquaintances but pete didn't really Wanna be friends with ruth but then pete's mom signed him up for tap because ruth was taking it and instead of meeting new friends he just ended up sticking to ruth's side the entire time out of social anxiety

We all agree that pete and Ruth took tap at the same time in the same class right? Like thats how they became friends. Pete, Ruth, and Richie have been friends forever in my head.

[footaddiction]

Are you one of the rare few beta's that's worthy of Mommy's attention?

Are you the unicorn kind of gooner that's not a broke ass loser and can afford to really go deep in your foot porn addiction?

If so then you might just be worthy of mommys time and attention.

You'll be one of a select few foot gooners to have their own custom JOI and ultra stinky socks worn by me.

Then I'll be your porn mommy, forever and ever ;)

[jinkicake]

~ ♡ Late Night Visits ♡ ~ 

(( Day #2 )) Aizawa, Dabi, Hawks, Shigaraki x Reader

A/N: i havent written for these losers in months and I haven’t even watched the new season yet but I've seen pics and that’s enough for me.... i had to write for the dilf, the arsonist, the double agent, and the stinky league fan one more time just for fun!-

NSFW // SEMI-SMUTTTTTY

WC - 2,238

~~~

. . .

Aizawa is tired. 

He all but stumbles into his apartment before he carelessly tosses his scarf onto the kitchen floor. With his strong fingers, he roughly pulls at the roots of his hair. 

Almost like thin air, you appear behind him. Had he not been so accustomed to your cold hands, he would have flinched at the feeling of them running underneath his shirt. 

“Are you alright, dear?” You press your cheek into his back as you flatten your hands across his muscular abdomen, it’s no secret that you’re feeling him up but, Aizawa doesn’t mind one bit. If he had any complaints about your (sometimes) odd habits then he would have never married you in the first place. “Did you have a tough night?” 

The gentle kisses you press along his spine, standing on the tips of your toes to reach the back of his neck, make the man sigh in contentment. 

“I’m just tired, that’s all,” He mumbles and it’s a miracle that his words don’t slur together. 

“Sleepy?” You egg on and Aizawa reaches for an empty coffee mug on the counter. 

“Just tired.” He narrows his eyes at the lack of substance in the container, he could have sworn that he filled it up earlier before his patrol. “I still need to finish those exams,”

“I already graded them for you, don’t worry about it,” You coo before you teasingly dig your nails into his sides, Aizawa grunts at the tug. 

It feels odd for the man to not drink coffee right now at almost four in the morning. Still unsure of your motives, he suspects that you don’t expect him to sleep right now.

“Come on, come on,” You push your weight against his back to get him to move but, your husband doesn’t budge a single inch. “let’s go to bed.”

“Let me take a shower first,” He snaps but there is no malice in his words, no threat or anger. It’s more like a gentle nip that makes you roll your eyes. 

“No, I said bed,” Again, you pinch his skin and this time lower your hands to the front of his baggy pants. 

Aizawa gets it now, why you want to drag him to bed instead of force him to go to sleep. In a way, it’s the same thing. You always fuck him to sleep and he falls for it every time with little complaint. 

He has never been able to turn you down.

It’s how he finds himself leaning over the counter, bending over your soft body as he rolls his hips against your ass. You’re much too tight for him to move but, he couldn’t be still even if he wanted to. Aizawa leans on one of his muscular forearms against the cool top of the counter while his hand palms at your breast. You keep squeezing your thighs together and the guttural groans that leave the man because of it are sinful. He’s loud, much louder than he usually is and maybe it’s because of his initial tiredness but you just feel too good for him to care. 

“Are you going to cum for me, Shouta?” Your voice almost sounds like a purr, calling out to him and beckoning him with a backward roll of your hips. The soft giggle that leaves your lips causes his hips to stutter. “Cum in me,”

. . .

When Dabi finds himself pulling out his key to open your apartment, he scoffs. He wants to roll his eyes at this ‘domestic shit’, it pricks him like an uncomfortable thorn in his side. How odd. His heart beats a little faster in his chest whenever he’s around you and whenever he’s not, he finds that the missing beat is replaced with a dull ache. The man will never understand his own bodily reactions and doesn’t want to. He ignores it, like most powerful emotions in his life. 

It’s nearing two in the morning when he finally pushes past the door to your bedroom. His clothes are long gone and now on your floor, phone discarded on your table. He stares at you, in nothing but his boxers, as you rest. 

“Cute,” Dabi hears himself say and again ignores it entirely. He can’t be blamed for it, you really are cute with your leg poking outside of the blanket. From this angle, he can almost see what’s hidden underneath the rise of your pajama shorts. His fingers start to burn as his soul demands to touch you, and like a moth drawn to a flame, Dabi can’t stay away. 

He runs his fingers along your bare thigh, gently stroking your skin higher and higher until he reaches the curve of your ass. It would be so easy for him to push the shorts aside and-

Dabi pulls his hand away.  

Something snaps inside of him as he moves to sit on your bed instead, ultimately laying over you as he stares up at the ceiling. He doesn’t think about his feelings, he doesn’t want to. Dabi continues to ignore the pull even as you squirm out of your slumber. 

“Get off, asshole,” You say this but still attempt to wrap your leg around his waist. When this doesn’t work, you finally sit up and wrap your arms around his shoulders. 

There’s a glint in your eyes that almost makes Dabi nervous. 

“Are you here to fuck now?” You grin and the smile is entirely knocked off of your lips when Dabi pushes you back against the mattress. He relishes in the sound of your laughter, filled with delight, and he tries to think of anything that can compare to it. 

Nothing can but, he doesn’t admit to that. 

He ignores it, like all things related to you, and kisses you instead. In an effort to soothe his racing heart, the man focuses on the push of his lips. He memorizes the way your lips mold into his own, pushing and pulling until your mouth parts open for him. The messy smacks of your lips captive him too well as he lowers himself onto his forearms. 

Dabi swears against your tongue as you spread your legs and wrap your thighs around his broad waist. The dig against his staples makes him bite back another curse but he can’t complain since he gets to feel your ankles pinch his lower back. 

He nearly cums altogether when you loop your arms around his neck and tug on the ends of his dark hair. That’s when his restraint breaks and that’s when he stops kissing you in favor of pinning you back against your mattress with a hand to your throat. 

“Stay still,” Dabi murmurs quietly as he runs his eyes over your exposed belly, the hoodie you were wearing is now pressed over your chest. He lowers his face without a second thought, “and I’ll make you feel good.”

. . .

“Oh, pretty bird,” 

At the sight of your sleeping form, Hawks can’t help but coo in adoration. He immediately sends his wings off in different directions to care for you. One pulls your blanket up higher to rest just under your chin while another brushes a strand of your hair out of your face. 

You’re too sweet, it does terrible things to his heart. 

After his initial greeting, the prohero continues with his nightly routine (the one when he is not on call) while his feathers continue to shower you in love. He removes his outerwear and shoes then heads for the bathroom. 

He isn’t sure when his feathers started to take a more ‘thoughtful’ approach at making sure that you’re comfortable but, all Hawks knows is that he can now hear your moans over the running water from the shower. 

“Keigo!” You curse out his name as you rip the blanket off of you, the vibrations between your own legs are starting to get the better of you. Hawks is now all too aware of the situation, he can practically feel your arousal leaking between your thighs and the little twitch of your clit against his vibrating feathers. 

This is why he never lets his feathers run on autopilot. 

He rinses off quickly, ignoring the soap still trailing down his legs before grabbing a towel and throwing it around his waist. 

“I’m so sorry, babe-” The rest of his apology dies on his lips as his throat runs dry. He thought you were angry and upset since you had every right to be but, this, this sight before him is at the forefront of every single one of his wet dreams. The almighty prohero nearly falls to his knees. 

You’re there, knees bent and spread wide by two of his feathers while another rests against your cunt, and you’re tugging and toying with your own nipples. Each pull of your fingertips makes you gasp out in pain but the ache is quickly soothed by another one of his feathers vibrating against your soft breast. 

Hawks didn’t even know he had that many of his feathers back but, he can’t even think about counting them when he starts to drool. 

“Baby,” He calls out almost pitifully, reaching for you as he crawls on the floor on his hands and knees. You throw him a pointed look before ignoring him to focus on chasing your own high. The slight arch in your back and convulse of your pretty cunt, Hawks knows the telltale signs too well. “please,” He whimpers now before kissing his way up your calf and thigh. 

At some point, he becomes too impatient and decides to trace the expanse of your leg with his tongue. The taste that decorates your skin makes him shiver. 

“Come on,” The hero can beg all that he wants but, his feathers are now in their own control. Hawks couldn’t stop moving them even if he wanted to (not that he ever would). 

In your own way of being generous, you straighten one of your legs and rest the pad of your foot against the thin towel covering his hips. The moan that leaves him is almost embarrassing but Hawks couldn’t care less, he desperately needs more from you. 

. . .

Shigaraki’s eyes burn as he stares at the bright computer screen. For once, it’s not his own screen that he is staring at. It’s three in the morning and you are still in your own little world. 

He’s watching you bitterly as you continue to happily play a shitty farm simulation. Somehow, he’s become so distracted that his C6 Yelan has died multiple times while fighting a pesky low-grade ruin guard. 

Why are you giggling over some pixel flirting with you? Why are you cooing at digital cows?

The need to pull at his light hair becomes stronger and Shigaraki thinks his eyes may fall out if he doesn’t blink in the next handful of seconds. When he manages to tear his eyes away from you, blink, and look back at his phone screen, his entire team is dead. Yelan is gone, Raiden is gone, Kokomi is gone, and Collei is gone. Not like he cared much about the last character. 

He doesn’t even fix his team, he simply closes the app out of frustration before stalking over to you. There’s no effort on his part to be quiet at all and you wordlessly glance over your shoulder when you hear the rough slams of his socks against the hard floor. 

“What?” You hum and barely give him another glance as you go back to brushing your sheep. Shigaraki nearly growls in irritation. 

“Get up,” He narrows his eyes and then instantly regrets his choice of words once you slowly pause your screen. Shigaraki’s legs nearly buckle under the intensity of your glare and he tries to wrack his mind for any possibility to go back on his words before you get the chance to scold him. 

He’s fought proheros before, survived a fucking experiment that took months in the process, and he still can’t face you when you’re angry.

“What?” You keep your face leveled despite the judgment in your eyes. Shigaraki clicks his jaw. 

“I meant, ” He disregards his pride entirely as he looks to a random corner of your room. “Can we sit together please?” It’s your pleasant hum that brings his attention back to you. 

And it’s now his own pitiful moans that serve as a reminder, his pride means nothing in the face of you. 

Shigaraki will gladly suffer blow after blow to his pride if it means that you will sit in his lap and circle your hips while continuing to play your game. Each tight squeeze of your cunt has him gasping for air, roughly gripping the edges of the chair while his hips relentlessly buck up into you. He can’t control the way his gut wrenches and thighs tense as you happily bounce up and down on his cock. Each time you slam your hips down, it nearly crushes his balls and he can’t think of a more blissful feeling. 

“Harder,” He grits his teeth, eyes squeezed shut, as he eagerly awaits the next painful slam. You place your controller down without a second thought before moving again, taking turns rocking your hips and bouncing up and down.

Shigaraki knows what happens when he interrupts your game, you don’t stop until you drain all the cum out of his balls. But, being the masochist that he is, he loves it entirely too much to stop. 

. . .

2023/02/03 ♡

[yjhzies]

“Mr. Blushing Boo.” — Boo Seungkwan

⸝⸝୭ ˚. fluff . crack . self-indulgent

⋆ pairings : seungkwan x gn!reader ⋆ warning : not proof-read, mentions of a ghost (not literally) ⋆ wc : 0.8k [✉️] · when you're bf hates you addressing him by his full name, but he is down bad for you.

⋆ - note : DON'T WE JUST LOVE A LOSER BOO 😼 he is so cute i couldn't shake this thought off so I'll share some of my delulu-ness <3 also my first seungkwan fic! this man is wrecking me so hard it's not even a joke anymore, hannie is shivering timbering in his boots 💔🙏

"I swear, this recipe said 'easy'."

Seungkwan groaned in frustration, scowling at the recipe book on the counter in front of him and reaching out to wipe his forehead with the back of his hand.

You let out a small laugh, handing him a tissue. "Use this, stinky."

Huffing out a breath, he took the tissue from your grasp while rolling his eyes and sneering. He returned his gaze to the recipe book, his face painted with an unimpressed expression.

"Baby, can you bring me the flour?" He said, not taking his eyes off the book as he began mixing the batter in a bowl.

"Ah, okay," you say, washing your hands and walking over to the cabinet.

You extended your hand to unlock the cabinet and then grabbed the flour bag. Your hands were shaky from the weight, and you prayed that it wouldn't fall. Just as you gradually took it out over your head—

boom.

You just stood there dumbfounded with flour all over your face, not even bothering to scream. You blow the flour from your lips away.

"I heard a sound, are you oka-"

Seungkwan arrived on the other side of the kitchen and called out, only to stand there with his mouth agape. He looked you up and down, then burst out laughing.

"Baby-" He squealed, leaning on the counter to support himself and keep from falling. You scowled at him. However, you could not suppress the small giggle that escaped your lips when you saw him laughing.

His hands move away from the counter, causing him to roll on the ground as he laughs.

"What a boyfriend," you murmured under your breath, amused by the sight of your boyfriend rolling on the floor, laughing instead of helping you.

"Come and help me now, will you?"

With a gasp for breath, he opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out as he began laughing once more.

You stood there, looking stupid like a ghost. With a sneer, you inhale deeply, prepared to scare your beloved boyfriend half to death.

"Boo Seungkwan!"

He paused at the full ass goverment name, and perked up his head to look at you. His eyes widened as if they were about to pop out, and his lips pursed.

"Come and help me." Your tone was firm, and Seungkwan pushed himself off the floor and dashed straight to you. He picked up the flour bag and set it on the table before taking a cloth to wipe your face.

With a pout on his lips and his eyes fixed on your cheek, he gently started wiping the flour off your face. You knew it was because you addressed him by his full name. He obediently followed your words as you tried not to laugh at his pout.

"Baby," he said quietly, staring at his hand. "I'm sorry for laughing earlier..."

"I swear I didn't mean it! you see, it was just really funny seeing you covered in f-" He paused and raising his head to study your expression before lowering it once more. "Okay, I'll shut up."

But he flinches as you grab his face and peck his lips. As he digests what happened, his eyes enlarge.

"You're so cute, boo." You grin, squishing his pink-dusted cheeks. Unlike him, he smiled shyly and looked down, like a shy high school boy facing his crush.

"Aw, should I name you Mr. Shy Boo?"

He giggled lightly as you called him Boo. Suddenly shy to touch you, he reached out to hold the fabric of your shirt on the sides of your waist.

It was one of those goldy moments when you fluttered THE Boo Seungkwan's heart. Because, first thing, there has not been a day when he has not side-eyed you if you are being clingy more than usual (he actually enjoys it and gives in after acting whiny), and second, he will be teasing and poking you every chance he gets, so you are the one who is giddy at the end of the day. But that doesn't stop you from knowing his weaknesses.

"No, just call me boo..." With a slight smile on his face, he mumbled and leaned in to place his head on your shoulder while placing his hands lightly on your hips.

Reaching out, you take his hands in yours, adjusting it so that it encircles your waist before you put your own arms around his neck.

"Guess what, boo?"

"Mm?"

"+1 for my collection."

"Huh? what collection?"

"The Blushing Boo collection!" You giggled, and suddenly Seungkwan is side eyeing you. He raised his head to intensify the glare, which appeared more like to a pout.

"You don't like it? should I change it to Boo Seungkwan?"

"Don't call me that." With a light foot stomp, he let out a whine. "The name boo sounds much better from your mouth."

"So can I name the collection as blushing boo?" You grinned.

He huffed with a hint of smile, and shrugged. "Whatever."

"Got it, Mr. Blushing Boo!"

[simpjaes]

Imagine this.....

Weeb!Jay x reader who literally is like an anime girl. Weeb!Jay who meets reader and says she looks just like an anime girl, big chest and all. They date and all and then.......

"Hey Y/N..... do you think you dress up like a bunny girl?"

*rubs hands together in big tit language* so, i started this and it turned into a whole thing that'll just have to be a mini fic. sorry. i just rly love stinky ass losers. just u wait til he gets to talk about anime with his big tittied goddess

[elliesdoll]

literally murder me. slap me and spit on me and then fuck me so hard wgatttt.

i will serve my pussy on a silver platter to her with tulips and peonies surrounding it and do a full contemporary dance for her. blow her stinky weed smoke into my mouth and just

need her to just fuck me idk. like what. like idk. Like ??? ??? Hi

i need her loser sexy mama ass self to cum ON MY FACE JOW

photos from idk sorry my camera roll. my Horny Folder 📁❤️