#still wondering why this version of the scene never made it into the show

[rex-rambles]

➤ HELLO DARLIN' (SMAU + FIC)

pairing: daniel ricciardo x countrysinger!reader

summary: you and daniel have a falling out - can an old loretta lynn song bring you back together? (inspired by 'Hello Darlin' by Loretta Lynn)

wc: 1.6 k

warnings: angst with a happy ending :) faceclaim: megan moroney

➤ MASTERLIST

Liked by kelseaballerini, dollyparton, and 1,361,092 others

yourusername Thank you, Nashville! Needed some of that hometown healing

↳ kelseaballerini 💙 💙 💙

↳ yourusername my favourite VIP

↳ fan54 seeing you live was unreal!! missing you already

liked by yourusername

↳ fan105 anyone notice Daniel wasn't in attendance??

↳ fan29 he's at the Singapore Grand Prix

↳ fan243 he didn't even like the post

f1gossip Fans noticed that Daniel Ricciardo and long-term partner @/yourusername have unfollowed each other on Instagram.

↳ mclar_win NO, PLEASE NO

↳ fan105 Daniel has to be in the wrong here, the songs she wrote for him were so sweet

↳ fan29 the break-up songs are going to be next level

↳ f1-fanatic so you're telling me he's single

↳ fan12 so you're telling me SHE'S single!!

_

_

Liked by kelseaballerini, zachlanebryan, and 1,418,122 others

yourusername I promise I'm getting work done this week, just you wait

↳ kelseaballerini recording? without me?

↳ yourusername you know you're always welcome 🫶

↳ zachlanebryan can you come open the studio door?

↳ fan44 OH MY GOD

↳ fan243 the collab I have been WAITING for

↳ fan98 stay away from her

Liked by yourusername, kelseaballerini, and others

triple_j On this weeks 'Like a Version', country singer @/yourusername puts her own spin on Loretta Lynn's 'Hello Darlin'. Giving us a behind-the-scenes look at why she chose the song, she explained that her love for old country songs, and her own overuse of the word darling, made it a perfect fit. Only this time, she isn't the one apologizing - the listener should be. 

↳ kelseaballerini you're so talented, I can't believe you @/yourusername

↳ yourusername it was an honour to sing with y'all!!

↳ fan98 you can't tell me this isn't about Daniel. 

↳ fan243 I'd bet real money on it

_

_

You were aware it was all a matter of circumstance. The wrong words, the wrong day, the wrong emotions. It had felt like the past month of your relationship with Daniel, he'd been pushing you away, devoting himself to his racing with a vigour you'd never seen before, forgetting every other responsibility he had. 

Then, one random Tuesday afternoon, it had all snapped. All the years you spent together turned into one sentence: 

"Who cares about your music?" 

You were aware it was all a matter of circumstance, but that didn't make it sting any less. Daniel had tried to backpedal, to apologize, but the worst was done. Until he could get his head out of his ass and realize what he was doing to the people around him, you weren't going to be a part of it. 

Didn't mean you didn't miss him any less. Kelsea had stayed up with you at ungodly hours of the night as you poured your heart out to her, how the man who meant so much to you had changed. She'd been the one to show you that he'd been dropped from F1, that he was retiring, and the world slowed a little, and started to make sense. 

Sitting here, waiting for him now, you wonder why he didn't say anything. He'd been racing a long time, sure, but look at Fernando - who knows the age limits of F1 drivers. It had never occurred to you that he was working so hard to save his seat, but that still didn't excuse his behaviour. 

The Nashville heat was evident, even this late at night as you sat curled up on your balcony. If you strained, hard enough, you could make out the music of some bar nearby, a nice old tune if it weren't blasted at such a volume. He said his plane was getting in at 11, and as the clock got closer to midnight, you wondered if he'd actually show. 

He always kept his word, it wasn't like he'd say that and disappear, but this was the first real rough patch you'd hit, and neither of you was really sure how to navigate it.

"Hello, darlin'?" You bolt up, peering over the railing and down to Daniel in the street, blue bouquet of flowers in hand. He had always been one for little romantic gestures, and even after everything, it still hadn't changed. "You know, I'd serenade you, but you are the singer in the relationship, and I don't think the paparazzi need to hear that." 

"I mean, they might appreciate the show." It's old banter, like nothing had changed, like the last time you saw him you hadn't stormed out of his hotel room sobbing. You both realize that you'd slipped into old habits like worn boots, and end up staring at each other for a bit too long. 

"You going to let me up?" Something unknowable passes over Daniel's face as he says it, and you silently nod, moving back into your apartment to buzz him up. You knew he had the spare key, had spent enough nights here to know your keycode, but it was still nice of him to ask. 

In an instant, he's at your front door, and this close, you realize just how much you missed being in his presence. That song wasn't just a random choice. You had listened to it on repeat after everything you went through, and realized every word was about Daniel. Only, you weren't sorry, besides that it all went down the way it did. You're sure he felt the same way, and he holds out the bouquet with a small smile. 

"They're a bit crushed, since they're from England." 

"England?" You let him into the space, setting the flowers down on the kitchen counter to deal with them later. Last you checked, he'd be in Singapore, or maybe back home in Australia.

"I had to finish my offboarding." He admits quietly, still not moved from his place just a few steps in from the door. "They got some celebration stuff they want to plan for me, too, but yesterday made it official." 

He was no longer an F1 driver. You're not quite sure what to say, knowing how much love he put into the sport, but also the relief that it's all over. He did his best, he was moving on, but it still didn't make it hurt any less. "When do you have to go?" 

"The end of the week." Four days. That's how long you had him for. "I've booked a hotel, just a few streets over." 

"What?" Then, it dawns on you again why he's here in the first place. "Oh." 

"I was a dick." Daniel finally begins, setting down his backpack as he approaches you. He stops, the kitchen island between you, and you know if you look into his eyes any longer you're going to cry, so instead, you focus on staring at the flowers he brought. "I was so involved in the end of my career that I ignored how important yours was, and that wasn't fair of me." 

"Why didn't you say anything?" You knew he was stressed, you knew how hard this must have been for him, so why wouldn't he let you in? Every time you went through something, he was right there, listening to you, ready with solutions, or to just validate you.

Why didn't he think you'd do the same? "I didn't really know, but I had a hunch. I thought...if I said anything, it might come true, but I guess it did anyway." He lets out a weak laugh, before slowly moving around the counter to stand right in front of you. "I never should've said what I did, and I hope you know how grateful I am for your music, and everything you've written about me, and I'm so proud of all that you've done."

If the sight of him alone wasn't going to make you cry, his words most certainly were. You immediately step forward, wrapping your arms around his torso and pulling him into you, and you bury your face into his sweater, revelling in the smell of him. "I'm not going to lie and say it's all okay," Your voice is muffled by the fabric, and you pull away so he can hear you better. "But I understand what the pressure is like, darlin'. The only thing is I make sure to talk to you about it, rather than try to hide it away." 

"I'm just sorry. So sorry."  Then, the first tears fall, and you unloop your arms from him to wipe at his cheeks, holding him there as he tries to take deep breaths. Seeing him like this hurt more than the distance, knowing that it got to the point where he pushed you out before he could even think to pull you close. You should've been there for him, and the guilt of missing his last race still hangs over you. "I wish you were there for my last race." He continues, taking a deep breath, and your vision blurs as you blink away your own tears.

"I wish I was there too." You whisper as Daniel's hand comes to cradle yours, pulling it away from his cheek to press a kiss to the palm. "I'm sorry about your seat." 

"Ah, well. I've finally got some free time on my hands." He cracks a small smile, and you can't help but smile back. If there was a silver lining, in all of this, it was that Daniel was now a whole lot more free for you, and you needed to make up for lost time. "I hear there's this great country singer touring right now, might go see her." 

That pulls a laugh out of you, shaking your head as he lets your hand drop. "Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah." Then, with the reality of everything hitting again, his eyes dip to the floor as he admits, "I really...I'm really going to miss racing." 

"I know, love." You link your hand with his, pulling him away from the counter and toward the couch, and you force him to sit. You stand before him, holding his face in your hands, and wiping the last of the tear stains away. "But I'm here whenever you need me." 

"Yeah?" This would never have ended in heartbreak. There was no universe where you and Daniel didn't repair everything you went through, because that's just who you were. You made mistakes, and you fixed them together because even hurtful comments in the heat of the moment can't break your love for him. 

"Yeah. I told you, you're a hard man not to love, darlin'." He pulls you down onto him, looping his arms around you to hold you close. You press a kiss to his cheek as you relax into him, having missed the ways his arms feel around you. Neither of you speak for a while, just listening to the sound of each other breathing as you let yourself take up space in each other's lives again. Then, when it feels right, you rest your head back against his shoulder to look at him. "I picked up some things for you since we were running low." 

Confusion crosses over Daniel's face as he presses a kiss to your forehead. "Hm?" 

"Shampoo, your toothpaste, all that." Something sparks in his eyes, a realization that, despite the whole apology, you'd already planned for him to stay, already got his favourite things. You might've been hurt, but there's no way Daniel's staying in a hotel, away from you, when that bed's been calling his name since he left. "What? You really think you were coming here tonight for me to kick you out?" 

"I love you, you know that?" Those words always sounded so nice, coming from him, and tonight's no different as you lean forward to properly kiss him. It's a tender thing, kindled only by your time apart, no need to rush into something more than just sitting on the couch and letting each other be.

"Oh, I do." You say against his lips, hand smoothing against his chest. "But, it wouldn't hurt to have a little reminder-" 

Daniel's kissing you again before you can even finish the sentence, and you decide that for the next four days, you're not moving from this couch, and you're not moving from his arms. 

_

f1gossip Making up (or making out)? Though his trip was short, Daniel Ricciardo was spotted by fans with @/yourusername clubbing and karting in Nashville!

↳ fan5 They're following each other again too!! 

↳ brocedes thank god, after losing his seat? I couldn't imagine losing my girl

↳ fan84 i told y'all!! it was nothing

↳ fan243 we better get some good music out of this

_

A/N: know that if I could, I would make country music themed fics about all the racers.

[onceinablueberrymoon]

one final game: swan lake | husband!salesman x mom!reader

scenario: it’s time. gi-hun and the salesman play russian roulette. unbeknownst to them, you’re listening in. setting: during season 2, episode 1; directly after stick to the plan (please read this first!) warnings: major character death; murder; major deception/betrayal; fem!reader; second person and third person POVs; i’m so sorry (˃̣̣̥ᯅ˂̣̣̥); spoilers for season 2, episode 1!  word count: 3k notes: the end is finally here! thank you for all the love you’ve given this series. both this ending and nocturne no. 2 start the same way and diverge at around halfway through the russian roulette scene. also, i would love to know what you thought of this ending. please enjoy! this was written before the release of season 3, so i had to make up my own version of how the games ended. i might change that after season 3, if it works with the rest of this story. this is one of two endings to the intentionally by chance series. you can find the other here: nocturne no. 2. borders by @strangergraphics-archive!

Thump. Thump thump.

Your heart was pounding.

Soon after your husband left the room, you tried to distract yourself by caring for your son. Thankfully, he was calm, his eyes heavy with sleep as you rocked him in your arms. Even though he was resting against your chest, he didn’t seem to notice your racing heartbeat, which you were grateful for. The last thing you needed was a crying baby.

Your thoughts wandered to Gi-hun, who didn’t know what he was about to walk into. 

Or maybe he did, you wondered. 

While unlikely, it was possible that he figured out that the salesman’s baby was Min-seok. But then you reminded yourself that this was Gi-hun. He wasn’t exactly the most observant person. Still, you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that continued to grow in your chest.

As the minutes ticked by, Min-seok had finally fallen asleep. You gazed at his face, pure and innocent. A stark difference from his parents, who were instrumental in the deaths of thousands of people. Would he grow up to be the same? To harm with no mercy, to act purely for his own gain? Or would he reject his family’s past and fight to help others, including those who no longer deserved a chance?

Like Gi-hun, you thought. 

You had to keep reminding yourself that, although well-intentioned, Gi-hun was foolish. He had won the Games and gotten his money. Why was he so obsessed with stopping them now? Even though he had told you his plan to catch the salesman, he never revealed how he would stop the Games themselves. 

Perhaps that’s what drew him to you after your first meeting. His blind faith. 

Even after the Games, where he had seen his childhood friend die in his arms, he had faith that things would work out. As time went on, he eventually placed his trust in you. 

In return, you had betrayed him. Used his intel to manipulate him effortlessly, to play him like a fiddle. His faith in you had made him none the wiser.

When you had first devised this plan to help your husband, you had no intention of meeting Gi-hun regularly. You had one goal: to learn about his plans. But then, you met Seong Gi-hun. Even though you were a complete stranger, he showed you nothing but kindness. He had somehow wormed his way into your heart, and it had made everything so difficult. 

You hated to admit it, but a part of you actually cared for Gi-hun. Over the past year and a half, you thought nothing of it, that meeting with him was just your job. That you didn’t actually care if anything happened to him. 

But now? Knowing that this would be the end?

You were terrified. 

Terrified for him, but also for your husband.

Gi-hun had been searching for him for almost two years by now, and even though you knew your husband could protect himself, your heart ached at the thought of losing him. 

You let out a deep sigh. Now that Min-seok had fallen asleep, you settled him into his bassinet. 

Gi-hun should be arriving any minute, you thought. You were drawn to the front door, so you walked over.

Opening it slowly, you checked for any noises. 

Silence.

Looking back at the bassinet, you took a deep breath. Min-seok will be fine for a few minutes. 

The anxiety of the whole situation was eating at you. Closing the door with a soft click, you quietly climbed the rear stairs of the motel.

Room 410.

You tiptoed up to Gi-hun’s room, freezing when you heard voices. Gi-hun had arrived.

Pressing your ear against the door, you listened intently.

“Seong Gi-hun-ssi. Do you think you’re special because you won the game?” You heard your husband say, his voice hostile. 

A pause.

“Someone like you could never know or understand how I made it out of there alive.” Gi-hun’s words were hushed, but they sent chills down your spine.

You heard the faint click of a gun, but no gunshot. 

Then, in his usual recruiter tone, your husband said, 

“Let’s play a game.”

The muffled melody of Time to Say Goodbye caused your body to tense. As your husband explained the rules of Russian Roulette, you felt your breathing quicken.

“But I’d like to make this game a little more serious. Because you’re special, Seong Gi-hun-ssi.”

Your mind raced. You knew he was tasked with killing Gi-hun, but why did he choose this game again?

“We’ll take turns pulling the trigger without spinning the cylinder again. The bullet will be fired within six attempts, and the game will be over.”

Your breath hitched, your vision blurred. 

Was he insane? You screamed internally. There was such a high chance of death – 1 in 6. You felt dizzy. How could he do this to himself? To you? To your family?

Shuffling could be heard behind the door. Who was going first?

Click.

Your heart stopped. No gunshot. 

But no talking either. You were in the dark.

Click.

Nothing but music in the background.

Then, a voice. Your husband’s.

“My wife and I always wondered how you made it out of there alive,” he chuckled. “For one thing, you were even terrible at ddakji.” 

Your heart caught in your throat.

“A monster like you has a wife?” Gi-hun’s raspy voice was laced with confusion.

You heard a scoff. 

“You might know her… ” Your husband said coolly. “Unfortunately, she’s preoccupied with our son.”

Another chuckle.

“You might know him too.”

You didn’t need to be in the room to feel the sheer weight of your husband’s words. You heard Gi-hun’s soft gasp, the pressure of it crushed your heart. 

Now, Gi-hun knew. 

Knew of your betrayal, of the lies, and of the coincidences that hadn’t really been coincidences at all. 

This wasn’t how you expected to feel.

Click.

For a brief moment, you had forgotten about their game, that they could die at any moment.

There had been three clicks so far, if you recalled correctly.

A clatter of what you presumed to be the gun falling on a table shook you from your thoughts. 

Seconds passed. Again, no talking. Only the sound of music.

Click.

Still, no gunshots. You were surprised. Usually, the gun would have gone off by now. 

Your husband’s voice chimed in again. 

“What’s the matter? Is your mind starting to race?” He teased. “Now your odds of death are 1 in 2. That’s pretty high indeed.”

You guessed it was Gi-hun’s turn to shoot.

Your husband continued, “I’m sure you’re afraid. Lots going through your mind.” 

Gi-hun didn’t respond.

“Let me guess what you’re thinking right now. ‘The gun is in my hand. Screw the rules. Pull the trigger once or twice, and I can blow this guy’s face off. Isn’t that right?’” He paused. “If you want to meet the person you mentioned earlier, the key is in my pocket. You can simply shoot me with that gun and take it.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Why would he even suggest that?

He continued, “But I’ll have you admit one thing.” 

A lengthy pause. 

“That you’re a piece of trash, just like everyone else. A piece of trash who got lucky and made it out of the dumpster.” You could hear him chuckle.

Click.

No gunshot. 

That means…! 

You gasped sharply, hands flying to cover your mouth. You hoped that they hadn’t heard you.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gi-hun spoke.

“What’s the matter? Is your mind starting to race?” He mimicked your husband’s words. “That’s right. Screw the rules. Now, with a single pull of the trigger, you could kill me.”

He paused.

“I must know,” Gi-hun’s voice was pained. “Why would you choose this game, knowing you have a wife, a family?”

“I never understood what my wife saw in you. But now, I get it.” 

Your husband’s voice was quiet. Reflective. 

“Your naivety. Your blind trust in everyone. Your foolishness. She found it so endearing. So easy to manipulate. You trusted her in a heartbeat.” 

He let out a soft chuckle. 

“I was skeptical at first. But then I realized that you wouldn’t have been able to hurt her even if you wanted to. She had you wrapped around her finger.”

Gi-hun spoke, “Then why? Why play this game, knowing you could lose?”

Your husband ignored him, raising his voice. “My wife and my son are my entire world. If what she says about you is true… Please, spare them.”

You felt your heart stop. There was no way that he would-

That’s when you realized. 

He was buying you time to escape.

He had accepted his fate, and was distracting Gi-hun so you could take off with Min-seok. Surely, Gi-hun would be after you once he realized you had been in the motel. Your heart lurched in your chest.

Your husband was sacrificing himself.

You sprinted down the hall as quietly as possible. Once you got to your room, you gathered Min-seok and your belongings, praying that your husband would buy you just a few more minutes. You only had time for one trip to the car, so you had to leave the stroller behind.

Just as you were about to go out the rear exit-

Bang!

To your horror, Min-seok started crying, his sharp wails ringing throughout the walls of the motel. You had no doubt that Gi-hun would appear at any moment.

There was no time for you to process your emotions.

You kicked open the back door and threw everything in the back seat of the car. You haphazardly clicked Min-seok’s bassinet into the car seat before jumping in the driver’s seat. There was no time to spare. You floored the accelerator in a hurry to get some distance before Gi-hun could catch up. 

All the while, Min-seok continued crying from the back seat. Maybe he sensed that his father was dead, somehow. That his favourite person was gone. 

It was only when you arrived at the pier to meet Captain Park that his sobs weakened into quiet whimpers.

Four years later.

“Mini, be careful, okay?”

Your son, now 5 years old, grinned at you and gave you a thumbs up before running towards the playground.

“I love you!” You called, smiling when he yelled it back. You rolled your suitcase to a bench under a tree not too far from the playground. The park wasn’t too busy, which was good. Fewer witnesses was better.

A few weeks before, you sent Gi-hun a letter. Ever since your husband’s death four years prior, you cut contact with everyone. It was like you never existed. 

You were certain that Gi-hun had been hunting you, just as he hunted your husband during the Games. But now that the Games had been terminated and the Frontman destroyed, you had no doubt that you were his next target.

The letter had said to meet at the playground. You had taken great care to ensure that no one could find you, and so far it seemed to have worked. 

You were watching your son slide down the slide when you noticed a figure in the corner of your eye. You exhaled sharply. 

This was it.

You turned to face him and clapped your hands together. 

“Gi-hun-ssi, you came.” You kept your voice steady, a smile on your face. “Please, sit.”

He did so wordlessly. You looked behind him and saw that handsome cop he had befriended. You figured he was probably here to arrest you.

The two of you sat on the bench in silence and watched the children play. Then, Gi-hun spoke.

“Why… Why did you befriend me in the first place?” His voice was calm, as if he’d practiced saying it in his head a million times.

“You were interfering with my husband’s work,” you said curtly. “I only did what I thought was necessary.”

Gi-hun turned to face you, his brows furrowing. “For the longest time, I thought we were friends. You helped us in our investigation. I trusted you.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “You even introduced me to your son. Was that necessary too?”

Your chest tightened at the thought of your son. You pointed at Min-seok who was chatting with a little girl.

“You know, he reminds me so much of his father,” you spoke softly. “I know he wasn’t kind to many, but he was so good to us. He treated us so well.” Your voice choked. “I miss him every day.” 

Although he was upset, Gi-hun couldn’t help but feel sorry for you. He didn’t doubt your words. He remembered the salesman’s last words, when he had asked that Gi-hun spare you and your son. The only selfless act he had probably ever done, Gi-hun thought.

“Speaking of which, I have one last favour to ask of you.” 

He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe this.”

You turned to face him and reached out to cover his hands with yours. 

“Please…” You took a deep breath. “Please, take care of Min-seok. There’s no one else who can take care of him.” Your voice was reduced to a whisper.

“He has no one left but me.” 

Gi-hun’s eyes softened at the mention of your son’s name. The baby boy who he’d seen a number of times during his investigation, who always brightened his day when you brought him by. 

But he was also confused. You would surely get released from jail at some point, or perhaps make bail and get out earlier. Unless you meant temporarily? 

“Here are his things…” You gestured to the small suitcase beside you. “H-he likes going on walks. His favourite drink is yakult, and…” You continued listing off everything Gi-hun needed to know about your son. He was about to stop you, but you gripped his hands tighter.

“I can’t keep this up any longer. Please. Just as you trusted me, I entrust my son to you.” You paused, turning back to make eye contact with Gi-hun. Your eyes were misty, tears threatening to fall. 

Your voice wobbled, “He’s my whole world.”

It was then that Jun-ho came up from behind Gi-hun and placed you under arrest. As he put the handcuffs on you, you sent Gi-hun a final look of pure desperation. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

As you were escorted away by Jun-ho, Gi-hun watched you walk away. His gaze then turned to Min-seok, who was trying his best to climb the playground structure. 

Bang!

Gi-hun whipped his head around at the sharp noise and saw your crumpled figure in the distance. He ran up to it, falling on his knees once he realized that you had been shot. 

Jun-ho, who had been unharmed, pointed at the roof of a building, and Gi-hun saw a flash of pink before it disappeared. Turning his attention back to you, he noticed that you had been shot in the head, your blood oozing out onto the grass. 

He froze. 

How could this have happened? 

Gi-hun’s thoughts sped through his mind. The Games had been terminated for good.

…Right?

Jun-ho placed a hand on Gi-hun’s shoulder.

“Gi-hun-ssi, please step back. I’ve dispatched other officers to catch the sniper,” Jun-ho said calmly, although he seemed shaken from the attack as well. He continued, “Go check on her son. Make sure he’s okay.” 

Gi-hun stood up slowly. He took Junho’s recommendation and started walking towards the playground, his eyes frantically searching until he found Min-seok on the swings. 

Walking up to him, Gi-hun realized the reason why you had entrusted your son to him. Not because you would have gone to jail, but because you were going to be killed as soon as you were arrested. 

Gi-hun knelt before him, the little boy’s head tilting ever so slightly. His heart dropped even further in his chest. He hadn’t noticed before, but the boy resembled his father so closely that it gave him the chills. 

“Min-seok-ah, I’m your mother’s friend. Do you remember me?” Min-seok shook his head. Gi-hun didn’t know what to say. How could he tell this innocent boy that both his parents were dead?

He felt tears forming in his eyes. 

“Where did she go?” Min-seok asked inquisitively. 

Gi-hun took a shaky sigh. He spoke softly, “I’m not sure. But she wanted me to tell you she loves you.” He paused. “And that your father loved you too.”

Min-seok broke out into a lazy grin, one that Gi-hun remembered distinctly. It was identical to the one that the salesman wore during their bout of Russian Roulette all those years ago. The thought made him shiver.

“I love them too! But I don’t remember my appa,” Min-seok pouted. And just like that, he looked like you.

Gi-hun grimaced, knowing he was partly at fault for the salesman’s death. But he returned to the matter at hand.

“Your mother told me to take care of you from now on. You can stay with me, okay?” Gi-hun placed a hand on Min-seok’s shoulder.

The little boy nodded, seemingly unaffected by the news. 

He’s probably too young to understand, Gi-hun thought. 

Wanting to distract the boy, Gi-hun proposed that Min-seok go play with the other children on the playground. His eyes lit up. 

“Come play with me, ajeosshi!” He tugged on Gi-hun’s arm. 

Gi-hun relented after seeing Min-seok’s pleading eyes and pouting lips. He let himself be dragged towards the playground, his heart aching. 

Even after everything, after all the pain and suffering you had caused him over the years, he still felt compelled to respect your wishes. If anything, he had to be strong for Min-seok, who no longer had anyone else in this world. Gi-hun believed that he deserved a chance at a good life. While he didn’t agree with his parents, he knew that they ultimately wanted the best for their son, even if they had to sacrifice themselves in the process.

Min-seok’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he let go of Gi-hun’s hand to climb onto the playground.

“Come on, ajeosshi! Let’s play a game!”

but wait! what if, somehow, the salesman did live? check out the other (non-canon-compliant) ending, nocturne no. 2!

tags: @muchwita @hkssfjsjs @ruby-the-scholar @beebeechaos @preppyfella @buckitostan @luvr4miya

[amfstargirl]

Details of half return

The narrative starts with y/n going back to their old house, where they start with reminiscing about memories from their old home. They admire every mark they left in their home when they were a kid not knowing that was the last time they were gonna live and make memories there. It's also a perfect situation where you can relate to Adrianne Lenker's lyrics, specifically in which she says, “standing in the yard, dressed like a kid,” which indicates a moment of nostalgia. To me, this song is highly associated with missing the innocence, youth, childhood, or simply who you were in the past.

 If you're wondering why the reader goes to their old house, it's because it's a way of letting go for them. As they have said in the story that it was a way of letting go and mourning that version of them. Because you can never really let go if you're not mourning/did not mourn even the slightest.They saw it as a necessary step in the process of growing and becoming a new person.

In the old house scene, you can see the memory of the reader, where they see the life they want in the lives of others, making them yearn for that. The space between two windows, reader and their neighbor, indicates or symbolizes their current life (reader's window), while the other mirrors the life they long for (neighbor's window), like a window to their desired reality. So watching the Barbie movies/shows through their neighbor was them actually watching the life they wish for. 

Also, the puppy she found on a random day while she was alone. The puppy is a symbolic object of the reader. As you saw in the first scene where they both first met, it was said that the puppy was just crying for its mother and father, hoping, waiting. (That's eerily familiar, don't you think?) And! The reader named the puppy “Amara,” which, if I'm not mistaken, means forever loved, which she is. Amara was a mirror of y/n's soul. And y/n treated them the way they have always wanted to be treated. 

But Amara is not a mirror to the current reader's soul. Do you get it? Because Amara was the symbol of the past version of them, which means they were the beacon of youth Y/N once had. Amara staying and waiting within the walls of where they both grew up just connects to y/n’s journey of letting go. That is why when the reader saw her, whispered gently to her and reassured her that it was okay, that she could rest now. representing readers' way of saying goodbye to the old y/n and letting them rest. The scarred innocent of their younger self is now free from the heavy pain of the things they went through. 

The scene where the reader “made up” with their mother and the fact that their mother admitted she never hated them that much but couldn't confirm that she didn't entirely hate them is SO important. It was a moment where their mother finally acknowledged her faults and apologized bitterly but with sincerity. She was very honest in that scene, as she knew that was what you needed and wanted. No sugar-coated words, only the truth. Also the fact that they made up, but it was also going to be the last time they would see each other!! Because the reader cut them off on good terms, and that was the final step in making peace with everything that was part of their past. 

Also, if yall were wondering how the reader “moved on” with the Bat family, it was actually the first ever step they took in making peace with their past. As their way of doing it was just accepting. Accepting that they will never see them as family, and they will never be interested in them in any way. (Guess who got clowned.)

And Alfred, who was driven by his own selfish desires. Now we all know that it was Alfred who took care of the reader the moment they got to the manor, so naturally it would be Alfred who first spiraled into yanderism. I like the idea of Alfred; despite wanting what's best for the reader and what makes her happy, he is still a yandere. And that means he still has traits of a yandere, which is what made him come up with a heavily detailed plan. 

[tateypots]

The Shower

18+ MDNI

Pairing : Dark!Joel Miller x f!reader (sorry no Tommy in this one).

Word Count: 1.5K

A/N: Ok so I'd like everyone to take a second to appreciate the amazing new Collared moodboard/banner (not sure of the correct terminology) that was sent to me as a gift by the completely wonderful @aurorawritestoescape/@not-a-unique-snowflake-blog. I think we can all agree that it's totally awesome!

I'm so insanely touched that she took the time out to create something so beautiful for my story and I thought as a thank you I would drop an extra little Collared chapter.

When I was writing the last chapter (before the story got away from me and derailed all my plans) I actually drafted out a version of the shower scene that Joel tells Tommy about. And as the bare bones were already drafted I have fleshed it out to be it's own chapter. So this will sit between Surrender and Uncle Tommy's Mistake. I hope you enjoy.

Please note that the moodboard is for aesthetics only, reader is never described past having boobs and a vagina. For more information on the series moodboards please refer to this post.

Warnings: Non-con, dark!Joel, kidnapping, Daddy kink, talk of squirting (Joel not really having a clue how it works), restraints, joint showering, oral (f!receiving), masturbation (m), cum eating.

Part 5 | Part 7 | Series Masterlist

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You awaken from your nap to Joel pulling out of you, your pussy aching at the prolonged stretch of having him inside you. A small whimper escapes before you’re even fully aware of what is happening.

“I know baby, I know. It’s a lotta cock for your little pussy to hold inside for so long hmm?”

You nod against his chest, still fully lying atop him “yes Daddy.”

Joel’s cock throbs at hearing that name fall from you with such ease after months of resistance. Before he can get carried away he rolls you off him onto your back on the bed and gets up with a groan.

“Need to clean us both up baby, you made a big mess,” he tells you, basking in the memory of your little pussy squirting all over him. He was surprised how arousing he’d found it. It was never something he’d given much thought in the before but fuck, how he’d enjoyed knowing he’d pushed you to the pinnacle of pleasure.

You pull your knees to your chest and tuck your head in, aiming to make yourself as small as possible, raw with vulnerability after finally surrendering yourself to Joel.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I didn’t mean to,” you whimper, worried you’re about to get in trouble, “I don’t know what happened, I’ve never wet myself before. I’m so sorry Daddy, please don’t be mad at me!”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he soothes, crouching down to tug your face up to look at him. “I ain’t mad at you baby, you made Daddy so happy with what you did. C’mere,” he sits on the bed and drags you into his lap. “You didn’t wet yourself baby, you squirted, you know what that means?”

You shake your head timidly at him as he strokes your arm and you sink into his embrace. He wasn’t entirely sure on the mechanics of it himself but seeing your confused little face peering up at him the urge to soothe you burned through him, even if he had to bluff a little in order to do it.

“Well, you know how wet your little pussy gets when Daddy’s makin’ you feel good? Well some special girls, like you, when they feel especially good, their pussies can squirt out some of that wetness. That’s why it made me so happy baby, showed me how much you were enjoyin’ yourself.”

“Oh,” was all you could think to reply, not really sure what to make of what he was telling you, still unsure as to whether to be embarrassed or not. It had felt really good but you couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed by your body again. You had started to bare yourself emotionally to Joel, still a little scared and unsure but it seemed like your body was refusing to hold anything back. It would not keep any secrets from him.

He watched your face scrunch up as you contemplated his explanation. God he loved how innocent you were. You’d clearly led a very sheltered existence pre-outbreak and now he got to teach you everything you’d been missing out on. His cock throbs again at the thought.

He placed you back on the bed, getting up and disappearing into his room briefly and returning with the key to your collar.

“Come on baby, lets take a shower, get all cleaned up.”

He kept a hand tight around your bicep as he unlocked you. It’s not really necessary, there’s no way you’d attempt anything. You couldn’t beat him in a fight. And even if you were fast enough to slip away from him you wouldn’t survive long outside, naked in the freezing temperatures. And that’s without the added complication of also managing to slip past Tommy. But Joel refuses to take any risks with you after all the progress he’s made so his grip remains tight and bruising.

Guiding you into the bathroom he sits you down on the toilet, closing and locking the door behind him before turning on the shower head and waiting for the water to heat up. Once it was warm enough he guides you under the stream before climbing in after you.

You relax in the heat of the water, enjoying the comforting patter of it on your skin as Joel hastily washes himself behind you. Before long you feel his big soapy hands on you, making sure he captures every inch of skin on your back half before pulling you back into his chest to reach around you and repeat the process over your front. His hands linger on your breasts, squeezing and massaging softly before tweaking the nipples. You moan at his ministrations, pangs of arousal shooting to your core, so pleasurable despite your poor, abused pussy aching with every pulse and throb. You feel Joel harden behind you as his hands drop lower. He pushes your top half against the wall, bending you slightly at the waist and takes the shower head from the bracket to rinse off your seam. This is typically the point of your shower that whichever brother has the job of washing you would fuck you hard against the tiles. You brace yourself for it but instead Joel replaces the shower head and kneels behind you, planting a kiss on each ass cheek before spreading them to inspect your pussy.

“She’s all red and swollen baby. She sore?”

You sniffle out a quiet “yes,” hoping he’ll take pity on you. And he does in a way.

“Don’ worry baby, Daddy’s goin’ to kiss this all better.”

Before you can even question what he means he starts placing soft little kisses on your pussy. You startle at the contact, a shocked little cry escaping you.

“Daddy what are you doing?!” you gasp, unable to fathom why he would want to put his mouth on you there.

“Mmm baby, Daddy needs a taste of you,” he mumbles into your folds, continuing to leave kisses around your entrance and over your lips.

“Daddy it’s dirty!”

“Ain’t dirty baby, bet you taste so fuckin’ sweet. It’ll feel good baby I promise, just trust Daddy k?”

He doesn’t wait for a response before slowly easing his fat tongue inside you, swirling it around before retreating and pressing in again. You can’t deny it feels incredible but you can’t help but feel uneasy at this new form of debauchery you’re being introduced to. Your head spins, the pleasure and the anxiety at war within you.

“I was right baby, you are fuckin’ delicious,” he babbles before pushing into you again.  

He slowly tongue fucks you for a few minutes and in the recesses of your brain you register how tender he’s being, how careful he is not to worsen the ache caused by his cock. He’s being kind to you. That thought alone has your heartrate soaring.

He withdraws his tongue from inside you and kisses his way down to your clit. You moan at the sensation of his tongue gently laving over it, swirling around it in ever decreasing circles before starting the maddening circuit again.

When he feels your clit start to throb under his tongue he starts alternating his little licks with softly sucking the swollen nub between his lips. It doesn’t take long for the pressure to build within you. He can see your poor little pussy clenching around nothing and with a shudder and a cry you come for him. His tongue abandons your little bundle of nerves when he sees your arousal starting to leak out of you. He gently circuits your entrance before easing the hot, wet muscle back inside of you, careful not to waste a drop of your sweetness.

With a groan and a final kiss to your clit Joel detaches himself from your pussy. Standing he turns you to face him and pushes you to your knees. Gripping his angry, leaking cock in his massive hand and stroking it with urgency.

“Open your mouth and stick your tongue out baby.”

You hesitate for a beat before following his instruction. He growls at the sight of you on your knees for him, mouth ready and waiting. He can’t wait for the day he can sink into the wet heat of it. But he’d promised Tommy. Promised that Tommy’s cock would be the first in your mouth. This would have to be enough for now.

With a moan his balls tighten and ropes of his hot seed spurt over your face and tongue. You try to flinch away but Joel catches you with his free hand keeping you in place

“Keep that tongue out baby, be a good girl, stay right there.”

With a grunt he finishes emptying his balls on your tongue.

“Ya look so pretty all painted baby,” he tells you as he gently rubs his thumb over your cheekbone, smearing his cum over your skin.

“Now, swallow.”

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Please let me know if you’d like to be removed from the tag list.

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[stardustizuku]

Unfortunately I came across a very strange and misinformed video about Black Butler.

It’s not good. Don’t watch it. Unless you wanna ruin your day, in which case have fun.

Despite it all, I watched it. What left me wondering, however, was how off the mark the person who made the video was on, well, everything.

From their insistence that the Book of Circus Arc theme or point is non existent, to reading Ciel’s character so badly they genuinely thought the Green Witch Arc did nothing for his character development.

While baffled, it also made me think on how someone could read Black Butler so badly.

Sure, you can say that there’s no real way to read or interpret something “in the wrong way” but interpreting The Hunger Games as a pure battle-royale action story would make you believe it’s bad.

“Why are we focusing so much on how the capitol preps them?” Or “Why isn’t Katniss winning everything?” Or “I wanna know more about the rebellion” All questions that miss the actual point of the story - which is criticizing (not solving or ignoring) the way that media distracts us from violence via spectacle.

The same thing applies here. While there is no “right” way to consume media, there’s things that the author makes clear they wanna focus when creating a story. Things that, if you understand, make the story you’re reading actually make sense.

And in Black Butler there’s three things that you have to understand to properly get what Yana is saying.

Sebastian is the protagonist

Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship IS the story.

And that relationship is, fundamentally, a positive one.

A quicker version of it would be:

Black Butler is a love story from the POV of Sebastian, and you have to ship it to get it

- but that’s not entirely true.

You can still look at it as a complex but ultimately positive rship and get in broad strokes of what it’s conveying. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Although, it helps much more than a platonic framing.

(That said, interpreting their rship as father and son, still isn’t the best way to go about it. Mostly because by its very nature of “soul consuming” their relationship is extremely sexually charged. And hey, if you’re into that I don’t judge. However, if you’re desperately trying to interpret their rship as NOT romantic to the point you fall back on heteronormative patriarchal ideals of nuclear familiar as framing device, I don’t think this interpretation bodes with you)

Now, having all that ground work:

Why do I say these are the key components to understand BB?

Okay so, first,

1. Sebastian is the Main Character. The protagonist.

There’s a lot of people who wanna argue against it, claiming he’s either the villain or the antagonist. Both wrong.

He does not function as an antagonist. Even if, and an emphasis on if, you consider Ciel to the protagonist, Sebastian isn’t a narrative antagonist.

If you wanna go back to Creative Writing 101, be my guest. An antagonist is directly defined by the protagonist. It’s the opposing force. If the protagonist wants A, the antagonist wants to stop them from getting A.

Sebastian’s catchphrase is “Yes, my Lord”. He never opposes Ciel, in fact quite the contrary. By the mere fact they’ve created contract, it means that they’ve both agreed in the inevitable outcome.

People want to frame Sebastian as the villain, because Ciel having his soul taken by a demon, would be a BAD END in the context of their moral compass. They see Ciel as a frail victim of abuse, who’s being tricked by Sebastian, who wants Ciel’s soul.

Which is an. Interpretation. A bad one. But still one.

The narrative (and whether the narrative fits your personal moral compass and lack of critical thinking is irrelevant) treats Ciel as an agent in his own destiny. The abuse he suffered was the moment in which he had no control. It’s only after he meets Sebastian that he can rid of both his guilt and his despair, and do what he wants.

In this case though, it’s revenge.

The famous “Asthma” scene shows this. If Ciel is taken back to his past, he becomes helpless. Swarmed with pain and memories that make it so that he can’t even react. Sebastian is his saving grace. If Ciel didn’t have him, and the power he wields to rebuilt what’s broken, he would crumble once more.

If Ciel has a panic attack, because of all the pain he has, Sebastian picks him up and says “you are not a helpless child anymore, you are not a victim anymore, you have the power to do anything. So, what do you wanna do?”

Ciel’s answer is to kill them.

A proper analogy would be to say that, if Sebastian offers a gun, Ciel pulls the trigger. They are both at fault. Sebastian, strictly speaking, is not here to directly cause Ciel’s downfall, but as a tool Ciel uses to plunge into the abyss.

If, again if, you were to frame Ciel as a protagonist, Sebastian falls closer to the “Voice of reason” character. Not a literal voice of reason, but a literary one. If you have a protagonist and an antagonist exchanging ideals, the Voice of Reason serves to engage with the protagonist on their own ideals.

That said, Ciel isn’t the protagonist. The story quickly falls apart if you interpret it as such.

Things such as Ciel’s character arc being…shall I say odd?

It’s not that his character arc isn’t there, but it’s never lineal. His goals stay the same, the only thing that happens is that we start to peel back the “why”s of his goals. Throughout the series it’s never about Ciel understanding himself better, he knows who he is, he knows what he wants, he knows why he wants it. He doesn’t ever need to uncover these, but simply remember them. Because it’s always about the audience understanding Ciel.

He knows he wants revenge.

In the Circus Arc: He knows that he needs Sebastian because without him, the pain of the abuse he suffered would be too much to bear. But WE are introduced to it.

In the Book of Atlantis: He knows that with this new lease he does not want happiness and peace, he wants revenge. The one being told this is the audience.

In Green Witch Arc: He knows that their revenge isn’t for his family, the real Ciel or guilt. It’s because he wants it. He’s angry, he’s upset, and this is entirely for him. The one being told this is the audience.

Except. Not really. The one either discovering or remembering these key moments - is always Sebastian.

Sebastian is the one who reassures him that he now holds the power of a demon to override the pain. Sebastian is the one who remembers that to override that pain, Ciel wants revenge. And Sebastian is the one who discovers that that revenge isn’t built out of grief or guilt, but for himself.

We are witnessing it all, through the eyes of Sebastian.

This is why we have an extremely vague idea of who Ciel is, Sebastian does not have the whole picture.

If you haven’t been reading this manga with your eyes closed, you’ll realize we have a better grasp at Sebastian’s character than that of Ciel. We get a lot of insight on how he thinks and what he values through light hearted dialogue he has with the servants. You even see the character development in these little interactions.

Think about how when he first arrived to the mansion he magically created food with no regards to taste, but when he meets Bard he states that food is created to see whoever will eat it, smile.

That is character development, more than you will be able to see from Ciel.

Because Ciel’s character, while not static, doesn’t go from point A to point B. Mostly, cause it doesn’t need to. He went through that when he lost the real Ciel and got Sebastian. Everything we are watching is the falling out.

Now, given the fact that I’ve told you that it makes more sense for Sebastian to be the protagonist/main character, and that he 100% isn’t either a villain or antagonist in ANY of the interpretations you can get:

Do you believe me?

If you don’t, you’ll probably believe Yana herself.

This is from the first Volume, where Yana herself describes the process of making Black Butler. The primary idea behind the creation of BB was a butler as a “hero”.

If you go back to the introductory chapter, you notice that Ciel is barely mentioned. He’s simply the one to give Sebastian impossible tasks and standards that Sebastian must find how to overcome.

Ciel is properly introduced until the NEXT chapter. The second chapter has this formula too, introducing Lizzie as a problem to overcome. Although, to Sebastian the best way to “get rid of the problem” is simply to indulge her.

The issue here being that the problem isn’t as simple as a business meeting but something directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s past. Each time that Sebastian has to solve a problem, it chips away at Ciel. While with Lizzie he shows a persona, once he’s alone with Sebastian he acknowledges the toll it took on him. It serves to build Ciel as Sebastian’s master, and how some problems aren’t as simple as discarding a tablecloth.

The third and the fourth, are a unified narrative, with a similar premise to the first chapter. Ciel gets kidnapped and Sebastian must find a way to retrieve him without raising suspicions.

If the first chapter is to set up what Sebastian must do as a butler, the third and the fourth serve to set up what he must do as a demon.

The entirety of the volume, and up to Book of Circus Arc, is about how Sebastian tries to follow the increasingly absurd orders that Ciel has - it is not about Ciel trying to solve them.

That’s how they work, we follow Sebastian for the most part, because he’s the one having to come up with the solutions.

If anything, in early Kuro, where the emphasis was more on a slice of life conflict, Ciel is the antagonist. He’s the one creating problems for Sebastian to solve.

What’s more, in the second volume, the very first chapter is one from Sebastian’s POV. So far, we hadn’t gotten an entire chapter from Ciel’s POV. In fact, I would find it hard to point to a single chapter where Ciel is the POV throughout. The reveal of real Ciel and the flashback is the closest contender.

But once we move past early Kuro, and into Book of Circus, this set up changes.

It’s fairly easy to assume that Ciel is the main character, because from this point on the conflict of the plot sorta surrounded him. We spend a lot of time with him and with his story. The enemies start being people directly tied to Ciel and Ciel’s trauma. Rarely, if at all, we get to see Sebastian before he met Ciel.The framing device for the story, is Ciel.

This is where point 2 gets intertwined.

2.- Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship IS the story.

The story begins at the point where Sebastian and Ciel met. Who Ciel was before he met Sebastian, informs why he’s the way he is when he does. You have to know all he went through to understand why he’s a brat, why he lashes out. However Sebastian’s past doesn’t matter…because Sebastian himself doesn’t care much for who he was, before he was “Sebastian”. That’s also part of the narrative.

Unlike Ciel, he doesn’t seem opposed to revealing information from before the contract. He talks about how pets from where he is from are gross, he talks about how he knows how to dance because of other places he’s been to, and alludes to the life he's lived before.

Just that, to him, they're footnotes.

He makes allusions to a very bland, uninteresting life, up to the point he meets Ciel.

That’s why we don’t know more about his past.

As for why we focus on Ciel’s story…okay maybe we need Creative Writing lessons 102

I studied Dramaturgy for about 3 to 4 years. And something you notice is how play-writing is the quintessential story telling. It’s making it work with the bare bones of a story.

Some other mediums have more finesse, more depth, or more spectacle - all amazing things that work for whatever they’re created for. But understanding a play, how and why it works, helps understand the fundamentals of any derivative story telling medium.

Particularly, conflict.

Conflict is dialogue and dialogue can take many forms. A story, in its essence, is a dialogue between two opposing ideas.

Take Batman, for example, who embodies the ideas of justice and order. On his own, he’s not a well rounded character.

If you ONLY present him, in a vaccum with nothing else, you don’t have a character. You have a list of characteristics that you’re supposed to know.

You only know who he is when you have dialogue with another character.

I say Dialogue, but it doesn’t necessarily mean spoken language at one another. Dialogue can mean fist fighting, playing tabletop games, talking to other people about the other, or even just a competition. The idea is to simply to compare and contrast both ideas.

If you want an example on how tabletop games serve as dialogue, watch the video “Well, Someone Had to Explain the Liar’s Dice Scene” by Lord Ravecraft

Another example, were we to retake Batman, you have him fight Joker. Who’s the embodiment of chaos and randomness.

In the following picture, you get far more information than the one previously shown. While the Joke fights with daggers and fake guns, Batman only uses his fists. He doesn’t use the tricks that Joker does. His serious demeanor, contrasted with Joker’s glee at the dangerous situation. The fact that Batman has a deathly grip on Joker’s shirt, while the Joker doesn’t, which shows a desperation to catch him.

You are being shown, through a dialogue, who Batman is.

It’s so much easier and much more effective to explore a character through another character.

This is the reason why Shonen has a tendency to make incredibly good gay ships. If you want to explore Naruto’s personality, and his feelings of inferiority, you HAVE to have him interact with Sasuke.

If you wanna understand Hinata’s passion for volleyball, you have him enjoy himself the most with the only other crazy motherfucker who’s as obsessed with volleyball - Kageyama.

And I think that originally, Yana had this problem.

Sebastian was the protagonist, but she had little room to develop him as a character in the confines of the manor, dealing with random enemies.

She likely tried to create Grell as someone of the same stature as Sebastian. Someone who could be this other person to engage dialogue with and show or allude to his past a bit more.

The problem being that Sebastian didn’t care for his past. Or really, engaging with anyone. He sees everyone as below him, but when confronted with Grell who isn’t below him, he doesn’t wanna talk to her.

So you’re stuck in conundrum.

How do you have dialogue with a character, that as a character trait, doesn’t really wanna have dialogue?

Well, Grell also solves the problem. Because only the moment she gets him to start any semblance of a dialogue - is questioning why he’s serving Ciel.

And this is the moment when it’s perfectly cemented that the focus of the story is their relationship.

Why is Sebastian here? Why does he stay? What did he see in Ciel that made him want this extremely convoluted contract?

THATS the dialogue.

THATS the conversation we’re having in Black Butler.

We need to know Ciel because understanding who he is, let’s us know WHY /Sebastian/ is here.

Then slowly, with the introduction with the Undertaker, we find out Sebastian’s conflict.

Which is…

He’s scared of losing Ciel. It becomes apparent with the constant imagery of the Undertaker taking away Ciel and at some point even obtaining r!Ciel’s body, that he’s worried it might happen.

But he can only be worried that Ciel might be taken away if he wants to stay near Ciel.

And that’s his character arc.

Realizing that he actually likes Ciel, cares for him and the role he plays a butler that he doesn’t want this to end.

In the first chapters, he doesn’t feel a need to protect Ciel anymore than what’s strictly necessary. Just don’t die, that’s about as deep as his involvement in chapter 4 gets.

But by the Green Witch Arc, he feels a need to protect Ciel from ANY harm.

This is why I also said

3.- Their relationship is fundamentally a positive one.

In broad strokes, Sebastian to Ciel is the person who allows him to survive. He’s not worried about giving up his soul since he’s already dead. While Ciel to Sebastian, is someone who’s making him have fun. He’s slowly becoming more and more attached to Ciel and the life he has with Ciel.

Their relationship is not that of just a predator and prey, but also of master and pet.

In the terms that Black Butler itself would call: Sebastian is a wild wolf acting like a collared dog.

Ciel is aware that the wild beast will eat him at the end of the day, but if he clings hard to leash for now, he might just be able to have Sebastian maul his abusers.

Sebastian as a dog, currently finds that he enjoys being a chained dog.

(This is demonstrated in the Green Witch arc where he quite literally says, he doesn’t wanna be a wild beast and prefers to be a butler)

And much like the actual DOG Sebastian, Ciel constantly interprets his attempts to get close and protect him, as an act of aggression.

This push and pull of Ciel’s perception of Sebastian and Sebastian’s true motives is what feeds the story.

And the briefs interludes were that isn’t the case (what other people call the “plot”, but I would refer to as the connective tissue) such as Sullivan and Wolfram, the other servant’s past, the grim reapers and the like, serve as a parallel to Ciel and Sebastian relationship. Either to signify how they care for each other, highlight their weaknesses or fears, or explore how they feel.

It’s no surprise that Sullivan and Wolfram are parallels to Ciel and Sebastian. A sheltered sickly child who seeks the protection of a cold hearted machine that only knew how to kill, but who eventually found he cared for her genuinely.

Undertaker and Claudia’s relationship being heavily paralleled with them, even though we aren’t 109% sure what they had but heavily implied it was a romantic attraction from the undead supernatural creature and a Phantomhive.

Everything is a parallel.

That’s why, like the approach of the terrible original video, is flawed.

Trying to interpret Black Butler as action scene after action scene, with mystery after mystery with the only connective tissue being the mystery of who burned down the mansion - is missing the trees for the forest.

That’s not the point.

And if you’re too much of a prude to engage with gothic horror in its gothic horror game, I see little point as to why you even bother to engage with it at all.

A lot of people, including the person who create the video, simply refuse to acknowledge Black Butler IS the story of Sebastian and Ciel as a close and positive relationship, romantically and sexually charged. The reason for it being that they’re “put off” by it.

Part of me wonders how much that is genuinely true, and how much is just performative outrage. It’s like ignoring the fact that Cersei and Jami are in an incestous relationship and try to frame it as “platonic love”, because the idea of it is THAT off putting.

But regardless of that, if you don’t like the fact that it’s as canon as canon can get, I would reccomend you don’t engage with the story at all.

As I’ve explained, the entirety of the series is about them. If you refuse to see Sebastian and Ciel as, at the very least, a duo that cares deeply for the other - you aren’t reading Black Butler.

I have no idea what you’re reading.Perhaps your own biases and subconscious stigma with British aesthetic. At that point, watch the fucking British Royalty Gossip Magazine. You’d find more substance there.

Just don’t be like the person in the video, please? Don’t play dumb. Don’t ignore the fact that Yana is a Shotacon, don’t ignore the fact Sebastian is a hero, don’t ignore the fact that the entirety of the story is based on Sebastian and Ciel’s dynamic.

Because if you do, you are ashamed. You are ashamed of what this story is about. You don’t wanna engage with the text, you want to engage with yourself. You wanna project into Ciel whatever traumas and experiences you have, for the sake a vanity project, where you come out as the morally superior.

You don’t wanna talk about Black Butler, you wanna talk about how good YOU are. How you “don’t sin” by watching it “without all the gross unholy stuff”.

Which is the exact opposite of what BB is about.

So, if you don’t want to, save us all the humiliation fetish and leave.

[lo1k-diamonds]

Down Bad 💜 PJM (Part 2)

Kissing you was not on the agenda, and it threw him off. How the fuck was he supposed to let go of you now?

PAIRING: Vampire!Jimin x human(f)reader

SUMMARY: You find the cure to your clumsiness in becoming Jimin’s dance partner. But twirling in his arms risks more than just your heart, especially after he bites you.

WORD COUNT: 12.8 k (Total: 31.5 k)

GENRE:  Soulmates AU, angst, smut

RATING: R (explicit)

WARNINGS: typical vampire-related warnings (blood, biting, scents, feral moments), arguing, fighting, graphic depictions of cuts, bites, and wounds (including blood), angst, multiple smut scenes (unprotected sex), including praise kink, oral (f rec), penetrative sex, pleading, bit of a dom!Jimin, handjob, fingering, multiple orgasms

A.N. Here we have it, my Christmas gift this year. For some reason, I've been... unexpectedly insecure about my writing, so this story was somewhat... more difficult to perfect than usual. I'd like to thank @downbad4yoongi, @pars-ley, @colormepurplex2 and @hisunshiine for working through it with me and helping me reach this final version - by far the most fleshed-out and intriguing, even if it became huge. Also thank you to @itaeewon for the beautiful banner! This is my entry in the upcoming @bangtanwritershq 4th Quarter Writing Event: Monster Mash!

Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs

>Click here for Part 1<

You faced yourself in the mirror, smoothing the dress you had just put on down your stomach. The black fabric was silky, shining with your every move, and you really liked it. You had picked it for that very motive, wanting to look your best when you trained the choreography with Jimin. And it had worked; you still remembered the way he twirled you and then pulled you close to whisper into your ear how beautiful you looked.

You blinked your tears away with a deep breath and clenched your teeth. At the time, you believed he loved you in his way. He didn't have to say it; you thought those moments showed it, and it was enough.

Perhaps you were wrong. Two days later, he had yet to pick up your calls, and he had not shown up for your movie night the night before. You hadn’t heard from him since that night, and while it hurt, you could admit you also needed to think about things.

You wondered how you never noticed something could be different about him, but you still held that you couldn’t have guessed it. Vampires were things of fantasy literature. Even if you had never seen him under direct sunlight, even if he had never gone out with you during the day, or eaten any meals with you… You just weren’t counting or paying attention. It didn’t really matter. You assumed he had his normal life and ate when he wasn’t with you.

You also never felt in danger. In fact, you felt safe with him, and thinking how many times you had all but begged him to bite you and nip your skin, you wondered if it was related to his nature. Could it be that his nature made you want those things? You couldn’t remember ever being so keen on wanting those things with previous partners, but that should be normal — you weren’t the same person, and the relationships were different. Still, while a part of you thought that those desires were natural for you and for people in general, another part couldn’t help wondering if anything you felt was because of what he was.

In movies, vampires could glamour people or manipulate them. What if that had been the case?

You chuckled while you put on your high heels — as if you were worth charming. And you supposed that was one of the biggest issues you couldn’t wrap your head around: just why exactly had Jimin looked at you?

You had naturally fallen in love with him over the months: he was handsome and sexy, and a bit of a tease, not to mention a wonderful dancer that made you believe in yourself. He took you out stargazing and watched old black-and-white movies in shady theaters with you, and you felt privy to aspects of him that no one else knew. But you? Besides keeping him on his toes with your clumsiness, what did you give him? He could have anyone, and if he was immortal or something like that, then you couldn’t think of a reason he’d waste his breath on you.

Hence, why you didn’t understand him at all; he said you were special and that you weren’t just anyone he wanted to mess around with, but he had gotten involved with you. He’d come every night through that same door you were now stepping out of to come to you. He walked that same path back and forth from the gym, and nothing forced him to do that. He never even fed on you before and was clear that he didn’t want your blood, so what was it?

A part of you screamed that he loved you in his own way, and that it was why, but you didn’t want to believe it. How could he love you if he had lied to you for so long? If he didn’t trust you? If he ran away as soon as his secret was out instead of explaining things to you and staying by your side? If his problem was your safety, why not tell you how to protect yourself? You didn’t even know vampires existed, same as anyone else. Why did he want to protect you from everyone and everything? As far as you were concerned, you would have lived in blissful ignorance your whole life if he never bit you.

He likely planned on using you for whatever reason and then leaving you behind. Thinking about that made you angry because while you were stuck doing the quick walk in the snow to the gym to attend the dance class, wondering about his reasoning, the only conclusion you knew for certain was that you loved him.

Stupidly, unwisely, and angrily, you loved a man— a vampire who had lied to you and showed you so very little of himself that you could logically tell you were damn stupid to be so head over heels about him.

You tapped your shoes on the gym’s welcome mat with a deep breath, letting the warmth inside the place reach you a little bit. You were not at fault for your feelings, and being naive could be a fault, but you didn’t hurt anybody. He did you dirty; it was unfair to be angry at yourself for it.

Hoseok wasn’t at the desk, but you didn’t wait; you knew where your class was. As you made your way calmly, you decided you’d put yourself first. You started your journey in dancing not for Jimin, but for yourself. You were proud of how far you had come, and that was enough. You were there more for the opportunity to speak with him rather than dancing, and you knew you couldn’t pretend everything was alright. Your eyes fell on the door with your heart racing in your chest, and you made a decision as you drew nearer and nearer — you could walk away. If that was the best option, you would do it for you.

When you pushed the door open, you hesitated. There was a tall man you didn’t know near the sound system, and beside him was Jimin. They were talking quietly, and when Jimin’s eyes landed on you, you jolted to a walk again. You closed the door behind you with your stomach twisting so hard that with every step you measured if you’d have to abort and run away to puke. At least until suddenly you were right before the two men with an agonizing heart behind your ribs.

“Here she is, right on time,” Jimin started casually, and you just looked at him blankly. His lips were moving, but you couldn’t hear a thing because he was addressing the guy as though everything was… fine. You blinked with the tears pricking your eyes; everything was not fine. “This is Taehyung. He’s an incredible dancer and he wanted to enter the competition, but he didn’t have a partner. Seeing as I’ve been to many, I thought it would be good for you to go together. I’ve already instructed him on all our choreographies, but like I was telling him, you can change anything as you please. Make it your own.”

Taehyung said something you didn’t quite hear, though you bowed out of a reflex when he did. You were drawing a blank.

“What do you say?” Taehyung asked with a smile, hopeful, and you just blinked at him, and then at Jimin.

His jawline twitched as though he feared you’d cause a scene, and you could feel something inside your chest collapse. The tears stinging your eyes were suddenly embarrassing, and the anger flared inside you a thousandfold. None of that was fair: his attitude, changing partners, not talking to you, not treating you with fucking respect, not—

“Oh, I know what you’re thinking,” Taehyung interrupted your thoughts with a thoughtful, soft voice. “I’m not a teacher like Jimin is, but I can promise you I’ll do my best to learn every step with you.”

“You’re perfectly experienced,” Jimin retorted, twisting your stomach yet again. Why wouldn’t he let you talk? “You could be a trainer here if you wanted.”

Taehyung smiled and answered, but you didn't hear it. That was it, the moment you made a decision.

You bowed to Taehyung again specifically, who rushed to bow back, then spun on your heels and walked away.

You heard the silence behind you but you were too busy containing your stomach’s content to care. You only stopped when the harsh winter cold hit your cheeks, and finally it seemed like you could breathe. Yet, instantly, your guts twisted, and you bent forward, staring at the snow as your mouth filled with saliva. All you could do was control your breath as your eyes filled with tears, waiting to see if you’d vomit or not.

“Are you okay?”

Hoseok’s voice didn’t startle you, and since it was him, you didn’t bother pretending you were fine. You shook your head. “It will pass.”

He nodded though you didn’t see it. “Maybe a bit of water?”

“No, I can’t… stomach anything right now.”

While you tried taking deep, cold breaths to soothe your guts and nerves, Hoseok looked around before focusing back on you. He didn’t have to ask to know why you were there in that state. He had told Jimin this was a terrible idea, that running away was the wrong decision, but there was nothing he could do.

Hoseok sighed, “Taehyung is a really good guy and a good dancer. He’s very happy to have the opportunity to dance again, but he won’t hold it against you if you decide you don’t want to do it.”

You swallowed convulsively for a moment before asking, “Again?”

“He had to stop for a while, but he missed it. This is perfect for him to restart.”

You straightened up and sniffled, “But we’d only train for one month.”

“He’ll pick up quickly. Besides, you’re doing it for the experience, right?”

Your lips twitched into a smile and you nodded before looking down. “Yeah.”

You took in a few more deep breaths, then refused Hoseok’s company all the way back to the room. Taehyung was exiting the dance studio by himself, looking a bit dejected, and you called out to him.

“Sorry about that, I’m feeling better,” you said and bowed deeply when you reached him. “I’d be willing to give it a go if you are?”

He was a bit flustered. “Oh, you mean— Sure, of course, yeah!”

You were happy that Jimin was nowhere to be seen when you both reentered the dance room. Even though that place was full of memories, you could at least be yourself with Taehyung if Jimin was not around.

Taehyung headed to the music box, saying something about Cha-cha-cha first when you spun on your heels to face him. “Are you human?”

He froze and looked at you, caught off guard.

“Wouldn’t want to start this without being truthful,” you added in a quieter tone, and Taehyung nodded.

“Well, you’re right. I mean, we live secretly, but I suppose it’s okay to tell you if you keep it a secret.” He winked, and you looked at him with glistening, red eyes.

“You wouldn’t tell me because you’re afraid I’d tell?”

He turned to face you fully. “No, I wouldn’t because you might be afraid of me.”

You had no filters; you finally had the chance to ask, “If you’re supposed to prey on me, shouldn’t I be?”

He chuckled, “I suppose you’re right, but it’s not like that. Besides, I’m perfectly well-fed. No danger whatsoever.”

“Good to know.”

“So you’re not scared of me?”

You looked up at him, momentarily lost in your thoughts. Taehyung wasn’t stupid, he could see your expression and guess something was up, but he was patient. You nodded. “No, you’re well-fed.”

Fortunately, he understood you were joking and smirked. “Now that we’ve shared secrets, how about we just warm up a little? To get a sense of each other?”

You agreed and looked around while you took off your coat; the memories of the room risked paralyzing you, but you shook your head and tried. Taehyung was taller, so your posture was different, and even the simplest of steps required an adjustment. Instead of comparing every detail to Jimin, or feeling as though you had just been pushed over onto Taehyung like an annoyance, you tried your best to actually work with him and find a middle ground.

It took a while, but you were able to dance the basics to one full song, so Taehyung left you for a moment to change the song. It gave you a moment to press your neck and grimace.

“Oh.”

You turned to him, and despite trying to hide the bite marks on your neck, you knew he saw them.

“I see, that’s why you asked…” he started, then shook his head. “But I need to ask… was it consensual?” Your posture became rigid, and he raised his hands placatingly. “You can tell me, it’s okay. If you wanted it to happen, then it’s good. But you should know it’s not allowed otherwise, so…”

“I… didn’t know it could happen but… I don’t regret that it did.”

He frowned ever so slightly, but before he opened his mouth, he glanced behind you. You knew the door was closed and there was no one behind you, you could see it in the mirror. 

“Did… Jimin do that?” he asked quietly, and you nodded. “I see. Maybe we should start next week—”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Maybe we can take it a bit slower, then.”

You agreed and noticed how much gentler Taehyung was for the remainder of your practice, making no sudden movements nor complicated steps. Still, you remained fairly rigid and were thankful when the training came to an end.

“Here.”

You thanked Taehyung for the electrolyte drink he brought you while you cleaned yourself with a towel and were thankful to sit down to drink it.

He sat down on the floor near you. “Have you… talked? To Jimin.”

“He doesn't want to talk to me.”

Taehyung hummed and glanced at the floor, and you took a few sips of the sugary drink.

“You know him well?”

He nodded. “We’re very close friends.”

“You're the first friend outside of the gym that I've met. And we still met at the gym.” You chuckled. “Even after almost a year.”

He was nodding, about to agree with something, but then his jaw dropped. “He resisted you that long? Woah, that's… impressive.”

“Maybe I made it easy.”

He tsked at your depreciative smile. “Not at all. I'm sure he told you how sweet you smell.”

“Hmm, no…” He raised a skeptical eyebrow, and you insisted, “Really, he didn't. I do?”

He nodded. “I'd say you're hard to resist.”

“You're doing just fine.”

He chuckled, “Well… let's say that it's a mix of knowing that it's not allowed and knowing there will be consequences.”

“Oh… like prison?”

He glanced at the same spot yet again, then hummed, “Something… like that.”

You were looking at your feet in thought. “Well, I don’t think it was a problem. He said he didn’t want my blood or to feed. I… never knew until he bit me. You know?” Taehyung nodded, and you looked back down. “I would have never known, I’m… I was just his little light.”

You were mumbling, but Taehyung heard you loud and clear and blushed. He eyed you once again, and suddenly, so much made sense, including how Jimin was acting.

“Well, anyway,” you stretched your legs on the wood floor, “I guess you're entering the competition with me now and… that's it.”

“It?”

“Yeah.” You nodded sadly. “He basically ghosted me, and nothing else connects us, and I… I mean, what am I?” You chuckled, “I guess I smell sweet, that's it.”

“I don't think that's it…”

He was frowning, but you didn’t see; you sighed, “You're sounding like Hoseok, and I'm starting to think you're both blind. You saw how he talks to me, or doesn’t.” You shrugged, though it was clear it annoyed you. “I'm insignificant. Maybe it's better this way.”

Taehyung took a deep breath to reel his thoughts in and asked, “Better? Why?”

“Because things would change, right? I'm just human, maybe I'd be a constant liability.”

His eyes hardened. “Or maybe he would be? With your friends and family?”

You chuckled, “You think he'd bite them?”

“No,” he answered, even though he realized you were trying to be funny. He couldn’t take it lightheartedly when it was clear you didn’t know so much about the situation. “He would change you by being with you. He didn't tell you about this?”

You were confused and shook your head. “He didn't tell me a thing. Change me how? Make me one of you?”

He opened his mouth, then pressed his lips. “No, there are other ways and… He should be the one to tell you this, though I suppose that’s his call. Just stop thinking so poorly of yourself, you’re wonderful.”

You snorted, “He left me without a word two days ago. I don’t feel wonderful.”

He heaved a deep breath and said little else because what could he say to you? He himself didn’t understand Jimin, and that was rare and odd.

He walked you out, smiling when you promised to drink way more fluids and rest well so you could dance harder next time. You were adorable, which made the sad smile on your face that much more heartbreaking.

Which was why, when you left, he instantly darted to the staff room where he knew he’d find a vampire stuck in time, listening carefully.

“She’s gone, but I suppose that if you drank from her two days ago, then you surely know that,” he said as soon as he entered the room, and surely enough, Jimin was there, sitting in a corner, frozen still with his eyes closed. Taehyung didn’t have to ask to know Jimin had been listening to your heart all along. It would bring him comfort, and it angered Taehyung even more. “So she’s the one? I mean, we all guessed it had to be someone, but you one-upped our wildest guesses. You found your muse, you bit her, and left her in the dark?”

Jimin opened his eyes slowly with a rigid expression but didn’t open his mouth.

“Why invite me to be her dance partner if you’re going to be brooding in a room nearby with such a threatening aura that you’re scaring everyone in the building?”

Jimin’s teeth ground for a second, and he looked away. He wished he could deny it, but there was no point.

“The least you could do is take care of her,” Taehyung poked, and Jimin finally opened his mouth.

“I am.”

“You didn't tell her anything,” Taehyung accused in disbelief. “She's weak, you didn't even tell her to drink and rest more or—”

Jimin suddenly got up and crossed the room towards the door. “This conversation is over.”

“It's not. Asking me to replace you fixes nothing. She's still hurt. She thinks she's meaningless to you, meanwhile, you've been calling her little light.”

Taehyung said everything he had to quickly enough that Jimin froze before he reached the door.

“She thinks she'd be a liability for you because you didn’t tell her that it's the opposite,” Taehyung continued, and Jimin turned to see the same disappointment in his eyes as was laced all over his tone. “You want to tether yourself to her, and that will change her. She'll have to sacrifice aspects of her life and—”

“She doesn't have to know that!”

“Why not?” Taehyung challenged, seeing easily how his friend was suffering. “You can't live without her, so what? You'll just watch her from afar?”

“Yes!”

“You'll be miserable.”

“So be it!”

“And her? She'll be miserable, too.”

Jimin was ready to fight to the last consequences, but he faltered. “She won’t. She will have a fulfilling life and—”

“Without you?”

He looked down. “Yes.”

“I don't think so. If you feel this way about her, how do you think she feels?”

“She— She's human, she—” he stumbled on his words, then swallowed. “She'll get over it.”

“She's yours.”

Jimin was overrun by goosebumps; he knew it in his blood, but he couldn’t get enough of the world telling him this.

“And if she's a muse, then she's not just human, is she? She'll be miserable because there will always be a missing piece. And because of you, she can't even name it.”

“Shut it!” Jimin took a step forward, ready to push him away. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Tell her,” Taehyung said simply, suppressing a sigh. “At least give her the option.”

Jimin knew his anger was misdirected, and wasn’t surprised when it faded quickly. Sorrow replaced it swiftly. “I can't. I know what she'll choose.”

Taehyung frowned. “And you can't live with it?”

“No, I can't.” Jimin saw Taehyung’s confusion and clarified, “She'll choose me, and I can't do that to her.”

“And if she doesn't?”

He chuckled humorlessly, “Then I'll struggle to find a reason to live.”

“So you prefer to deny her the choice?” Taehyung frowned, and Jimin couldn’t face him. “You're selfish, you know that?”

Present

Jimin was contemplating the use of living without you when his phone started ringing.

He lay in his living room in silence. The heavy curtains, perpetually drawn regardless of the moon in the sky, muffled the sounds of rain, though not the ringing, unfortunately. Still, like everything else, he hoped it would go away if he ignored it.

The phone stopped and restarted two seconds later, making him groan and rub at his face. 

He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to do anything. He knew exactly what time it was and who was likely to call, and he wasn’t there on purpose. He’d been hiding for a month, and he’d keep on hiding.

One month. He couldn’t believe it, but time was different for him. After all, he was a vampire; time was a funny concept. He could feel it ticking, but it was meaningless. The competition was just one more in an endless sequence of yearly events, barely noticeable. You were the only difference, and he had to shut you away. Thinking about you and time hurt him unbearably.

He’d outlive you. He’d see you live your human life, find love, have a family, and have a life you couldn’t have by his side, at least if everything went according to plan. Yet despite willingly sacrificing his heart and happiness for you to have a fulfilling life, he knew that in a few centuries, he’d still look back and reminisce about you like no time had passed at all. He’d torture himself with the moment he lost you, curse his existence without you, then collect the pieces of his crumbled heart with the memory of your smile, over and over again, until he was finally spent.

But right now, he was just a vampire pretending he wasn’t dying to be elsewhere. You were probably in Taehyung’s arms, twirling beautifully as you smiled and twinkled like the brightest sun. At least, you used to in Jimin’s arms, and he hoped you would in Taehyung’s as well.

But in the end, Jimin would never know because he couldn’t torture himself and see you dancing with Taehyung. He knew you had become close, Taehyung was open about it, and you were doing much better than the last time Jimin saw you. You were forgetting him because time was a fluid concept to you, and he couldn’t blame you. He’d rather see you flourish than be miserable. He’d rather you lived and showed everyone the light inside you during the competition and afterward as well.

His phone rang for the third time, and his eyes snapped open despite his seemingly comforting thoughts. He was ready to grab his phone and throw it against the wall, but he didn’t.

“Why are you calling me?” he asked, answering Taehyung’s call with a frown, and the shaky voice that answered immediately made him uneasy.

“Jimin! It’s bad, you need to come to the gym!”

He sat up. “Why?”

“We were dancing and— and she was fine, but then— she slipped and— She’s bleeding, it’s really bad!”

Was Taehyung running? He sounded out of breath.

“How bad?” Jimin’s voice was quiet and low as he got up.

“She ran downstairs and quite a few have gone berserk.”

Jimin growled as he gripped his dark hair. “What the fuck are you calling me for?! Get her out!”

“I can’t go much nearer either! She smells too sweet and— You have to come! We’re trying to keep them from going downstairs, but— Fuck, you have to come!”

He had already moved toward the door to grab his coat and put some shoes on.

“I’m on my way,” he growled before ending the call and rushing out.

He couldn’t think further than imagining you alone, hurting. The thought of anyone touching you made something stir inside him that, on another occasion, could have worried or scared him, but right now, it was more than justified. If anyone dared to touch you, he would tear them limb from limb. It was a visceral, feral, uncontrollable reaction — that was likely why everyone could sense him so clearly in the last month. He might not have been near you, but he stayed as close as he could without you detecting him, and everyone knew you were not to be harmed or even looked at wrong.

His nose wrinkled before he even entered the building. Perhaps because he had tasted you a month before, he could still pick up faint traces of your scent, even if he couldn’t hear your heartbeat anymore. Though he tried as he barged inside, the silence didn’t disturb him as much as the scene playing out in front of him. Multiple vampires were acting up in the lobby, fighting, hissing, trying to pass through a staff door that Taehyung was barricading with his body. Not so many vampires passed Jimin on their way out and looking around, it was at least clear that the other humans had already run away. Probably because someone had been clever enough to activate the fire alarm, which was still going off.

If Jimin were lucid, he’d worry about the few minutes left to handle the situation before the fire department arrived, but he was also not thinking clearly. The difference was that he wasn’t feral with the need to drink but with the need to protect.

He made his way to Taehyung, but his eyes caught the traces of blood still left on the floor, some smudged from either being stepped on or licked, and he couldn’t help a deep hiss. Suddenly, he felt twice his size and stronger than ever — he wouldn’t allow anyone else to touch you. Ever.

Some recoiled at his presence, and those who didn’t were promptly grabbed and thrown as though they were weightless. Taehyung was relieved to see him, tired and covered in scratches, bruises, and light red stains.

He smiled. “Finally.”

“Let me through.”

Taehyung kicked someone lurking just nearby, waiting for the chance to pounce, before getting off the door. “Hoseok is inside, fighting the ones who managed to get through.”

Jimin only growled, with his narrowing vision turning red. He didn’t hear anything else, he simply passed the threshold when Taehyung opened the door and made his way downstairs. The struggle noises reached his ears, and he would have ignored them if they didn’t match the trail of your blood. Arriving in front of a big metal door, he found Hoseok fighting four male vampires, each one more unhinged and injured than the next. 

Hoseok was relieved to see him, but the others were in no condition to recognize the danger they were in, and Jimin didn’t hesitate. One second he was still going down the stairs, the next he had collided harshly with the closest one, smashing his head against the wall. He instantly turned to the closest one and jumped on them, biting down to rip their throat open, and Hoseok had to kick the vampire’s leg to change the angle to try and save him.

“Just leave,” he heaved, panting, elbowing one that was trying to get him off the door while the last tried to bite his ankle.

Jimin wasn’t able to rip open the vampire’s throat, but his hiss after he rolled away on the floor was the last warning. It was somewhat effective. Despite being alive, the vampire’s throat was still lacerated, so he ran away swiftly. The one whose head banged the wall found himself lucid enough to follow after the first, and after that, the remaining two started cowering and stepping away slowly. They were confused in their wild state; why was Jimin coming onto them so strongly? They just wanted a small bite—

Jimin hissed again with his teeth fully extended and they decided it wasn’t worth it. They stumbled on each other to scurry off up the stairs, and Jimin focused on Hoseok, who raised his hands in the air. “It’s me. I’m not a threat.”

Jimin’s vision was still red. He closed his fists in an effort to hold back. “Out.”

Hoseok nodded and unglued his back from the metal door. “I’m leaving it to you.”

Jimin was still in position as his hyung left up the stairs and he would have stayed at the ready until Hoseok disappeared if it weren’t for your voice muffled and worried through the door.

“Hoseok? Are you okay?”

Jimin jumped on instinct against the door to get to you, but it was locked shut. He heard you stumble back and raised his fists from the metal so he wouldn’t use brute force on it. He called your name, “Hey, it’s— It’s me, it’s Jimin.” His voice trembled as he waited for a response, but you didn’t say anything else and his eyes teared up. “Please, can you open the door? Please, I— I can smell— I know you’re hurt, please. Please, let me in,” his voice wavered in desperation. That heavy metallic door was the last barrier between you, and he didn’t want to kick it open and scare you, but he needed to get to you. “I promise it’s safe, I’ll keep you safe. Please, let me in. Please, little light. Please…”

He was focusing on your heartbeat, and its rushed thrumming was making him anxious. Were you still scared? Were you scared of him? The faster your heart beated, the more you’d bleed, and—

The door vibrated along with a few noises, and he pulled back, waiting for you to pull it open. Once you did, you were a vision and put him on his knees. The scent of your blood hit him a thousandfold, drowning his senses in a familiar sweetness that brought tears to his eyes. For a split second, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to function, but then you rushed forward and threw yourself in his arms.

He caught you, and his overwhelmed senses were washed away with relief. It wasn’t just your blood, but your perfume, your warmth, your touch, and your heart singing happily to him, and he cried. He hid in your neck, breathing you in, and his teeth retracted. You were sobbing in his arms, and so was he.

“I’m so sorry, this should have never happened,” he mumbled, wishing to drown in you and stay like this forever. “I should have been here, I should have never left you by yourself, I— I was always there, but today I was a coward and I’m so sorry—”

You pulled away, keeping him at arm’s length by his shoulders, and he just looked at you. He was crying and had traces of something like strawberry sauce on his chin. His eyes were glistening sadly and your heart convulsed; you believed he was sorry this had happened, and it broke your heart into tears that you wiped away as you stepped back. You hadn’t talked in a month; this was not what you had hoped he was sorry for.

“Is Hoseok alright? And Taehyung?”

Jimin was still on his knees in the same place, looking at you with tears down his cheeks. “They’re a bit roughed up but I’m certain they’re alright.” You nodded and pressed the back of your left arm, and Jimin raised trembling fingers. “You’re still bleeding.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. You had ripped your red dress to make a tourniquet just above the wound, but it was still going. “I think I need stitches.”

“I can… I can take a look, maybe I can…” He swallowed as he looked at you, then shook his head. “I wouldn't hurt you, I promise.”

“I know.” You were casual about it, revealing your wound and raising your arm so he could see it.

His eyes flicked over the wound before falling back into your eyes; your heart didn’t change a beat. You were not scared.

His hands trembled as he raised them to gently angle your arm so he could see better, and he swallowed dryly. Despite being so close to the source and inebriated by the scent, he realized that what disturbed him was not your blood, but the way you were injured and in danger. When he pressed the wound closed, making you wince, he didn’t feel the slightest temptation to lick or consume the crimson nectar flowing onto his fingers. On the contrary, he was focused on your injury.

“I can make it stop bleeding, but I think it’s too deep,” he said, pressing the wound as he kept it above your head. “You need a hospital.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

His heart shook and for a moment he didn’t know what to do. You were right there, in front of him, looking at him, but you were… distant. He wanted to hug you, hold you, cry with how much he had missed you, but he couldn’t. Your eyes were cold, and he couldn’t move.

You moved to get up from your knees, and he accompanied you, never losing the connection between your wound and his hand. “If you think it’s safe, I can just—”

“Not yet,” he mumbled. He needed just one second more to look at you.

“Okay, but I can…” You tried moving away, but he just moved with you. “I can do that, you don’t have to do it.”

“I can’t let go.”

Your lips twitched. “Don’t tell me I’m finally hard to resist.”

“What?” He blinked, brought out of the haze by your bitter remark, and you shook your head.

“Never mind.” You grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. “I can do it, you can go.”

You pressed your wound and walked back, further into the boiler room, and Jimin stood there, frozen, looking at you.

“I can wait, just tell Hoseok or Taehyung to come and get me when it’s safe.”

Jimin had to swallow a growl and take a deep breath to stay calm. You were pushing him away, clearly telling him you trusted them more, and it infuriated him. “You’re safer with me.”

You glanced at him with cold eyes. “I’m safe with them.”

His fists closed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You looked away. “Just because you don’t talk to me, it doesn’t mean others don’t. I trust them.”

“More than you trust me?”

His eyes were thundering, his jawline set with annoyance, and your long pause made him even angrier. He could read it in your eyes; he had bitten you. Of course, you didn’t trust him as much as them. But you couldn’t know how different—

“They’re my friends.”

He was taken aback, but his anger didn’t let him stop and think. “I’m more than a friend.”

You scoffed, “You’re nothing.”

His eyes narrowed. “What?”

And you snapped, “Where’s the surprise? You wanted nothing to do with me, what is there to be angry about?” You were incredulous, and he was stunned. “You don’t have to stay here, you can just call them, they’ll help me, so—” Your voice wavered with emerging tears and you looked away. “So just go.”

You turned your back on him, lightheaded and dizzy, so you didn’t see him trying to think things through.

“You think… I want nothing to do with you?”

His voice sounded muffled as a shudder ran through you, and suddenly, you were falling back with the room spinning around you. You tried reaching out for something to hold onto, but your grip wouldn’t have held anyway. Fortunately, you fell into a steady embrace right before being picked up bridal style.

“You’ve lost too much blood. I’m taking you to an ambulance, okay?”

He was talking to you, and you just nodded, feeling as though you were floating, the ceiling lights a blur as he carried you upstairs.

Jimin was hyper-aware of everything, including what awaited you two upstairs. He could hear the sirens from the fire department and the ambulance and knew most vampires had run off already.

As soon as he stepped outside with you, he exchanged glances with Hoseok, who promptly smiled at the firefighter’s chief. “It was likely just out of panic. It seems someone got hurt in the commotion.”

The chief’s piercing look was on the two of you as Jimin carried you to place you on a gurney, and paramedics were quickly on you to evaluate your condition.

Jimin didn’t leave your side, even as Taehyung eyed him from another ambulance where he was getting treated by a paramedic for the bruises on his face. Not that he needed it, but he played the part just like the others. Except you, of course, who were hanging onto your consciousness as you answered the paramedic.

“I hit… the mirror… my arm…”

The chief stayed silent as his team scrutinized the gym despite Hoseok’s attempts to downplay the event. At least until the paramedic nodded as she said, “You need stitches. We’re taking you in.”

“No fire,” the last firefighter said as they exited the building, and Hoseok smiled.

“See? It was probably some prank.”

“You have injured attendees.” The chief scratched his chin as you were taken into the ambulance, and Taehyung was told to join you.

“Tae,” you called, extending your hand to him when he sat by your side.

“I’m here,” he reassured you, taking your hand firmly.

Jimin ignored Hoseok's attempts to convince the chief to allow him to still host the competition and jumped into the ambulance.

The paramedic turned to him, but he was quicker. “I’m accompanying them.”

*****

Jimin refused to leave your side as you got stitches, even once Taehyung was cleared.

“I can stay,” he offered. “Hoseok likely went on with the competition, so you should go help him.”

Jimin’s eyes didn’t move from the doctor’s hands as he treated you. “No.” He didn’t bother explaining how the very notion of being anywhere else was ludicrous. “You should help him if you can.”

“Or I can stay.” Taehyung’s tone hardened as he touched Jimin’s shoulder, and it finally managed to draw his eyes away from you. Albeit a sharp, dark gaze that made Taehyung withdraw his hand fast. “Are you forgetting how you left things with her? She might not want you here.”

Jimin’s jawline twitched as he looked back at you. You were purposefully looking the other way so you wouldn’t see the needle, but it also hid you away from him. It unsettled him, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m not forgetting, I…”

You’re nothing.

His heart churned as he looked down. “I need to talk to her. You were right, I… I should have at least explained to her why I had to stay away. She thinks I want nothing to do with her and—” He rubbed his eyes away from you. “It fucking hurts that she doesn’t know how I— I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing,” he confessed, looking at Taehyung with glossy eyes.

He patted his shoulder. “You’re figuring it out. I’m happy to hear that you want to talk to her at least.”

”I don’t want to take my eyes off her ever again.”

The vulnerable and pained shine in Jimin’s eyes gave away the longing in his heart, and Taehyung patted his shoulder again. “It’s her call.”

Jimin nodded as the doctor finished wrapping your arm with a bandage. “Maybe… Stay,” he asked, looking at Taehyung, who nodded. 

The doctor gave you instructions and left to grab a prescription, and Jimin and Taehyung neared you.

“How are you feeling?”

Taehyung’s voice was gentle, and you finally turned your head to that side. “It hurts,” you groaned, moving your arm slowly before pressing it to your side again. Your eyes didn’t miss Jimin, but you still focused on Taehyung. “They’ll give me a sling and everything.”

“At least you're on vacation.” Taehyung smiled, trying to cheer you up, and Jimin's sad eyes drank your expression as much as he could. 

You huffed. “Yeah, I’ll have to submit a doctor's note to convert it into medical leave, and my boss will be pissed cause that means I’ll have extra days next year.”

You were speaking so casually before the doctor returned to give you all the documents and medicine you needed, and Jimin teared up. It was his own fault, but he missed you terribly. How had he ever stayed away? How had he even lived?

The answer was simple — he hadn’t.

And now, looking at you, discharged with your arm in a sling because you got injured because he wasn’t there, he couldn’t help longing for a place in your life. For the warmth of your eyes, the gentleness of your touch. He’d give anything.

You stopped at the hospital’s exit and pointed at the taxis on standby. “I’ll take a cab home. Guess no competition for me.” You chuckled. “Just couldn’t fix the clumsy in me.”

“That’s not—” Jimin’s impulse to comfort you and say something made you turn to him, and the stone coldness in your eyes froze him. Taehyung’s eyes were also on him, perhaps expectantly, and Jimin cleared his voice. “I’ll take you home.”

“I can go by myself.”

“You can, but we’re not letting you.” Taehyung’s tone was soothing, and you sighed.

“I’ve given you enough trouble.”

“No trouble at all,” he retorted with a small smile. “Besides, he’s dying to take you.”

Your expression hardened as you glanced at Jimin, who couldn’t stop berating himself for letting things develop like this.

“He won’t hurt you.” Whatever made Taehyung say those words made Jimin frown at him while your shoulders relaxed.

“I know.” Your eyes showed the faintest spark of emotion towards Jimin, and he wished he could pick you up in his arms like he used to. “Come along, then. I’m tired.”

You woke up with a groan as you got off your left side. The pressure on your wound hurt now that the medication had worn off, but at least it didn’t hurt as bad as the day before. You sighed, cursing your luck, and opened your eyes.

It was dark.

You frowned, glancing at the floor to check that, indeed, there was daylight on the other side of the curtains.

“I drew them closed.”

Jimin’s quiet voice almost made your heart jump out of your chest; you hadn’t noticed him.

“I can open them if you’d like.”

You let your head fall back into the pillow with your eyes still on him. “Wouldn’t you have to leave, then?”

“Just into another room. You need your light, I get it.”

You sighed. “I don’t need light. I’m not a plant, I don’t do photosynthesis.”

“But you’d feel better.”

You huffed and raised your head to glare at him. “How would you know what makes me feel better?”

Your tone had enough punch that he looked down before getting up. “I can only guess. I’ve bought Gatorade and—”

“I like looking at the stars,” you interrupted firmly, looking into his eyes. “If I had to pick what makes me feel better, I’d choose driving to the outskirts to gaze at the stars on the hood of your car with a blanket like we—”

Your voice wavered, and you closed your eyes, letting your head fall. Why were you telling him this? It didn’t matter. 

He stepped closer to you. “If I could, I’d take you right now. I’d make it nightfall just so we could go and look at the dark sky all night.”

“Stop,” you asked, closing your eyes before they’d tear up. “Why are you still here?”

“To make sure you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m okay. You can go now.”

His lips twitched before he turned to leave the room, and you sucked in a deep breath. Of course, he’d just leave; he didn’t actually care. Why was he pretending to—

He stalked back inside and placed a couple of pills and an orange plastic bottle with a big white G on your nightstand.

You bit your lip. “Well, there you go. I’ll be fine now.”

“I know you will,” he said quietly, sitting over the covers beside your legs. “I was… hoping to talk to you.”

You observed his features for a silent moment, confirming his earnestness. Then, you grabbed the pills and the bottle. “You’re ready to talk?”

He licked his lips. “I… Yes. And I’m sorry it took me so long.” His eyes stayed on you as you took the pills and subsequent sips of the drink. He picked the orange flavor, your favorite. “This conversation will happen a month too late and… I was a coward,” he forced out, clearing his voice. “None of this should have happened. I’ve done everything wrong from start to finish, but I just… I wanted to protect you, but I’m selfish and…”

“You should start at the beginning,” you suggested, and he couldn’t tell what you were feeling by your tone or expression. Did you despise him? Did you want him to get it over with? Did you miss him? Had you already forgotten him?

“You’re right, I… I don’t know how much Taehyung already told you.”

“That’s beside the point.”

He pressed his lips and looked down. “You’re right again. It’s just… hard to start.”

You looked down at the bottle half-empty in your hand. “I’m human and you’re a vampire. Why did you even look at me? Why make that mistake?”

He straightened back. “What?”

“That’s what you said. That we were a mistake.” 

Your tone was dry, but you couldn’t look at him for long, and he leaned forward. “Not you, not— That’s not what I— You are not a mistake, you’re perfect.”

You scoffed and kept your eyes down. “That sounds so much like bullshit.”

“It’s not!”

“It is,” you insisted with a firm look. “Just say it like it is.”

“You could never be a mistake,” he deadpanned, irritation setting his jaw. “My mistake was to think I could keep myself away from you. Another was to not tell you about what I am. Then another was to run away from you because I was so scared of what you’d think, of what you’d decide, and— I just made mistakes left and right, but you were never one of them.”

Your eyes glistened, and your lips trembled, and he wished he could brush your cheek and hold you in his arms.

You sniffled. “So can you tell me now? About what you are?”

He eyed your hand but refrained from taking it. “Yeah. I’m a vampire, originally from Busan. I’m seventy-five years old—”

“Same as Taehyung, then.”

He nodded with a bitter smile. “Yeah, he told you?” You nodded, and he sighed. “Then you probably already know most of this. We need blood to live, we are allergic to the sun, and we live in secret.”

“Is that why you didn’t tell me? You didn’t want to scare me?”

“No, I… I never thought you would be scared. There is more to this and…” He heaved a deep breath. “I thought I was keeping you safe.”

You chuckled. “Clearly, trouble seems to follow me.”

He reached for your hand. “It’s not your fault. It’s actually mine.” You were confused but didn’t let go of his hand, and he gained the courage to tell you, “I knew you were special from the moment I met you. You’re not just any human, you’re my human.”

“What?”

“It’s a myth, or I thought it was, and so I never thought I’d find you. But the story goes that there’s one single human in the world for each vampire, a mate.”

“But… we’re food.”

He chuckled, “You’re not food, you’re special. You’re a special type of human. One that, if bonded to a vampire, can sacrifice aspects of human nature to stay by their side.”

“What do you mean?”

He pursed his lips, but explained, “You can sacrifice aging and bearing children and walking under the sun for a lifetime by my side.”

“What the fuck?”

You were shocked, and he grimaced. “I know. It goes against your human nature but—”

“Wait, you said your side? Because I’m your human?”

He nodded. “You’re the one for me. My muse,” he whispered with eyes filled with wonder.

“So… what do you have to sacrifice?”

He laughed softly, “Nothing in comparison. You become the center of my universe, and only you make sense.”

“What does that mean?”

“That you’d be my only partner. To live and to… feed.”

Your eyebrows jumped. “You said you didn’t want to feed on me.”

“And I don’t, if it makes sense. I don’t want to bleed you dry, and I wouldn’t take more than necessary, but it’s still possible to lose control. There are stories of vampires who killed their muses in fits of jealousy or when deceived by enemies, and— It’s a lot. So when I met you, I knew who you were and… I couldn’t resist the desire to stay by your side. I thought I could stay away but of course I couldn’t,” he scorned himself, shaking his head. “Every step of the way, I convinced myself I could be with you without making this a big deal. Between pulling you into my world to be coveted and harmed, having to sacrifice building a family and eventually having to watch yours die, or staying by your side for as long as you wanted me while letting you enjoy your human life… I thought that was the best choice.”

“You do realize that eventually I’d start aging and notice you don’t? Eventually, I’d notice things were off. Like never meeting any family of yours or… What would happen when I wanted more?”

“I… didn’t think it through but… more?”

His eyes were curious, and you shrugged. “I don’t know. Marriage, moving in together, kids—”

“You want kids?”

“Not in particular, but the topic would have come up.”

He looked down at your joined hands, immersed in his thoughts, and you squeezed his hand.

“Don’t go making decisions by yourself,” you warned with a piercing look. “We’re talking, and if I’m your human and you’re my vampire, then you’ll tell me everything so we can figure it out together.”

His heart was already hurting with the thought of letting you go, but your bossy tone made him smile and nod.

“So what happened when you bit me?”

He groaned, “I think the inevitable just happened. I kept the urge at bay, but when you said you loved me, I… couldn’t keep it in.”

“What? Wanting to bite me?”

“Yes, but… it’s a special type of bite. The one that would bond us forever. The one that would fill you with my venom, purging those human traits so you could live by my side and be mine. I stopped on time, fortunately,” his voice wavered as he hid his eyes. “I panicked when I realized what I was doing, and everything just came crashing down. You didn’t know about any of this, so I felt like I was violating you. I promised you’d be safe with me, but at that moment, I became a monster, taking away your choices, risking killing you on an impulse.”

“So you ran away from me?”

His eyes snapped up. “I told you, I made mistakes left and right. I didn’t want to tell you because I was afraid of your decision.”

You hummed. “How so?”

“If you decide you want to do it, I’ll be responsible for taking away beautiful things from your life. If you decide you don’t want to do it, I’ll—” He couldn’t say it. He licked his lips. “I’d have to find a way to live.”

You could see the anxiety in his eyes, yet you looked down at your hand in his. “That’s not enough. You panicked and realized your mistake; your next step should have been to tell me everything.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” he said quietly, squeezing your hand. “I thought that the least you knew, the safer you’d be, but… It’s the opposite. I should have told you more. I should have understood that when I bit you, although I didn’t finish the process, I started it. You smell sweeter, and that fact alone puts you in more danger than any other human. This is all my fault, including staying home tonight so I wouldn’t see you dancing with Taehyung when it should have been me who—”

The words got choked in his throat, and you nodded. “It should have been, yes. But you still haven’t told me how you feel about all this.”

“What?” He was caught offhand, and you insisted.

“So what if I’m your human? Muse.” You were quiet, almost a mumble. “That doesn’t mean you…” You raised your eyes, and he was still staring at you, dumbfounded and waiting. “That doesn’t mean you want any of this. It’s not because you found me that—”

“I want you,” he cut in fervently, leaning forward and caging you with his free hand on the other side of your legs. “If I ever thought I wouldn’t love you with my whole soul, it was when I was fooling myself. You’re not just the human for me; you’re the one my heart longs for and bleeds for. My blood sings your name, though I know you can’t hear any of it, but I…”

You listened attentively and whispered, “It’s true, I can’t, so you have to say it.”

“I love you. I love you so much,” his voice wavered as he cupped your cheek. “You’re my heart, the only ray of light in the darkness, my hope, my—”

You leaned forward to press your lips to his, and he didn’t hesitate, moving closer to you so you’d be comfortable as he kissed you greedily. Your mouths moved in tandem, like old lovers who remembered each other’s hidden languages, and you sighed. You squeezed him to you, needing to feel him close because despite all the crazy, at least now you were certain of two things: you loved him, and he loved you.

When you pulled away, he let you go, pecking your cheek sweetly before moving back. He sighed deeply, though he didn’t say anything, and you pressed your lips.

“You’re an idiot, Jimin-ssi,” you said as you fell back to your pillow, and the fear in his eyes didn’t please you. “My idiot, but still.” He grabbed your hand again and squeezed. “I need time to get my head around things, and you’re going to stay with me and explain everything to me.”

He kissed your hand reverently. “Of course.”

“By my side, where I can see you.”

“I never wanted to leave you. I’ll do whatever you think is best, I just… I don’t want to steal away your chance at happiness.”

You hummed. “Happiness… its definition can change with time. That’s why I want time.”

He gripped your hand as if he was gripping hope. “It’s the type of decision you should make with time.”

“But…” You pouted. “If not me… That means you’re feeding on someone else.”

He shrugged. “Bags and it’s perfectly anonymous. I can wait.”

“You’d wait for me?”

“My whole life,” he whispered, touching your forehead with his. 

1 year later

You stood in front of the mirror in a dazzling red dress that sparkled every time you swayed your hips. It brought a soft smile to your face as you wondered how it would look in the videos surely recorded during your performance with Jimin. You couldn’t wait to see them, not just because you enjoyed yourself, but because it was one of the best moments of your life. You flew and spun under his guidance, eyes always connected as though nobody else was in the room, and it was good. It was the culmination of a year of relearning each other from a place of truth, this time, and of falling deeper than ever before.

You pulled the dress up over your head, and the reflection of the scar on the back of your left arm showed momentarily. You angled your arm to see it more clearly and recalled that night exactly one year prior. The stitch marks were faint but there because you never allowed Jimin to lick them away. You liked that mark on you, not because you enjoyed the way you hurt or feared, but because it reminded you of what could happen if you didn’t brace your fears. You think it did the same for Jimin.

The same Jimin who had initially run from you out of fear and had since stayed by your side every step of the way. You knew you needed time not just to make a decision, but to trust him again, and he had shown to you that he understood that and would stay by you regardless.

He did so in two major ways: he stepped into your life and welcomed you into his.

Despite living in secret, he asked you to invite Jiyu over to your place so he could explain the truth to her directly. You didn’t want him to risk his life or others, but he explained that she was important to you, so he’d trust her.

You couldn’t forget Jiyu’s shock at the revelation or her subsequent questions. “So, you feed on her?!”

Jimin explained what a muse was and added, “But I haven’t, and I won’t.”

“What do you mean?”

She had eyed you wearily, and you nodded. “I haven’t made a decision yet.”

She understood why you were taking your time, and it was true that Jimin hadn’t touched your blood since that fateful night. You had been together since, and you realized quickly that you could trust him with this — he promised he’d never bite you without your clear permission, and he had come through every time.

You were curious about it, of course. Especially since he explained that drinking while elated with pleasure would make him feel euphoric, but it would also feel amazing to you.

“But I don’t know if I can trust myself to stop on time if we were to try, so…”

So you respected his boundaries, too.

He had also met your whole family for the holidays, and if you didn’t know better, you’d think your sister had a thing for him.

“He’s just so… stunning,” she sighed with her one-year-old on her lap. “Just where did you find him?”

“Dance classes.” He had smiled, sitting next to you and making your sister turn tomato-red.

It was a nice evening, and although you agreed not to tell them about his unique nature, you appreciated that they’d know you were safe even when you decided to become absent.

Because you would.

You quickly realized what your decision would be, but you stayed true to your promise to Jiyu and Jimin to take your time. Of course, you enjoyed feeling the sun on your skin or the prospect of growing old together with Jiyu and your sister, but… letting go of Jimin in death made you anxious.

You couldn’t imagine your life without him, and if meeting his family and stepping into his world could have made you change your mind, in all honesty… it didn’t.

“Who are you?”

You had flinched at the sudden pair of big, doe, dark brown eyes staring at you while you waited for Jimin at the entryway of this big modern mansion with a grand view over the sea.

You stammered your name before you heard hurried steps. “Jungkook, let her breathe!”

He turned to Jimin and pointed at you. “This is her, right?! Finally!” He turned to you, even more curious. “She does smell sweet but… That’s it?” He tilted his head, and Jimin grabbed your hand to pull you back. “I thought there would be more to a muse?”

“Perhaps the difference is that Jimin is coming off as super hostile?”

People emerged from a doorway near the stairs to the first floor, and you were stunned speechless. Taehyung was gorgeous, but the man walking next to him who spoke first was nothing to scoff at. Why were they all so beautiful?

“He’s protective, not hostile,” Taehyung explained, giving you a soft smile. “Besides, he’s not as bad as before.”

“Won’t you stop that,” Jimin mumbled before turning to you and brushing your hair behind your shoulder, making sure with a quick look into your eyes that you were okay.

“Hoseok told us you were scaring his clientele away…”

“He’s exaggerating.” 

Jimin rolled his eyes as the others teased him, and while you learned the fourth vampire was called Jin and that they all had heard wonderful things about you, you couldn’t help but stare at them and look for flaws, but there were none.

“I have a question,” you dared to cut in, and all looked at you, one more stunning than the next. “Are you all beautiful because you’re vampires, or were you already before?”

“They were already before.” A casual voice made you turn to the staircase, where two male vampires were making their way down to join you. The tallest was smiling with cute dimples, while the one next to him, albeit a bit shorter, was as flawless as the others. “Though that’s not why I turned them.”

You blinked, realization dawning on you before he continued.

“I’m Namjoon, it’s an honor to finally meet you.”

Taking Namjoon’s hand had only been another nail in the proverbial coffin. You felt comfortable with those who would become your family and welcomed as an equal, even though you were quite different. The certainty that you could keep your individuality and love Jimin in your own way helped you envision a future that made you even surer of your decision.

So now, with the competition done and a year of reflection behind you, you decided not to put any other clothes back on.

“Little light?”

You saw Jimin appear through the mirror, smiling at you as he shrugged his way out of the blazer.

“I was thinking that I could run a bath if you feel like it.”

He opened his closet to put away his coat while you mused about it. “That’s a good idea. Maybe after.”

He was already unbuckling his belt, and you started opening his button-up shirt. “After? After what?”

His smile was gentle if a bit mischievous, and you bit your lip, knowing how you were about to stun him.

“After you bite me.”

He had pulled his belt off, and it fell to the ground. “What?”

“You heard me,” you said quietly, not stopping until you could push the white shirt over his shoulders.

“But— Are you sure?” His tone was anxious despite his hands on your waist pulling you closer. “I mean, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself—”

“I don’t want you to.”

The air was knocked out of him. “Wh— You mean— Are you sure?”

You smiled. “I’m sure. I’ve taken my time and concluded every day that I love you and want to be with you.”

You caressed his shoulders gently, and he groaned, kissing your forehead before he revealed, “But we are together.”

“But there’s something missing, isn’t there?” You looked into his eyes and he didn’t deny it. “Like, I could be a part of you, or I should be, but I’m not.”

He swallowed. “You feel that?” You hummed, and he hid in your neck. “Thank fuck. I didn’t know if it was just me, so I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Jimin—”

“I’m happy as long as you’re by my side,” he continued, pulling away to look at you with so much sweetness. “Even though I want to bond and belong to you, body and soul, I know I already do. I don’t want that to be the reason—”

“It’s not. It’s my decision, and I thought about it long enough. I want it. I need it,” your voice wavered, and he cupped your cheeks.

“It should be special.”

“It is special.”

“My bedroom isn’t special.”

“I don’t care where, just take me.” You sounded desperate now, agonizing from his hands keeping you from searching for his kiss. “Please, make me a part of you. I want to be with you forever.”

He groaned and kissed you before peeling himself away to leave the room. You stood there, confused and cold, until he returned with a bag of blood.

He looked around for something while you blinked. “What are you doing?”

“Just in case,” he mumbled, finally finding some type of medical supply.

“In case what?”

“You change your mind or… it’s not safe,” he clarified, putting both things — a needle, you noticed — away solemnly before turning to you. Seeing your confusion, he reminded you, “I need you to bleed a lot and take in my venom. I don’t know how you’ll react.”

“The only way I can,” you said, moving closer to touch his chest. “I’ll take it and become even more yours than I already am.”

He grabbed the back of your head and pulled you to crash to his lips, moaning into your kiss with such yearning your insides melted. You never forgot the taste of his lips or the love palpitating in your chest, but it didn’t hurt to be reminded. To have his gentle fingers trailing up your curves, brushing your hair over your shoulders before turning back down to get you rid of your bra.

He leaned over your chest, suckling a nipple into his mouth before kneeling. His hands followed and pulled your underwear down, opening the way for him to kiss down your stomach.

He hid his face in your mound, deeply breathing you in. “I should make this last. I should— I should take my time—”

“The quicker you bite me, the faster I’ll become yours.”

He groaned and nipped your skin. “Don’t tease me, little light. This is an important moment we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.”

“Then it’s only right I tease you, don’t you think?”

He growled into your core before jumping back on his feet, grabbing you with your legs around his waist.

He put you on the bed and hovered above you as you hastily opened his slacks. “Lay back,” he asked, then grabbed your hands before you could have your way. “I need you to feel good first.”

“I’ll feel good as soon as you’re inside me—”

He pressed his lips to yours, groaning with such want you fluttered around nothing. 

“Making my life difficult, are you?”

“Interesting, my love. Interesting,” you whispered to his lips, nuzzling him to distract him, though you knew it wouldn't work.

He could feel your legs around him while your hands slowly but surely reached inside his slacks. As soon as one fingertip touched him, he succumbed to his desire to have your touch, and his hard cock fell heavy on your palm.

You squeezed him hard, loving the way he groaned before taking your mouth into a heated kiss. You could barely match his savagery, with his tongue so deep and overwhelming, you were breathless. Still, that didn’t mean you gave up on your prize. You could jerk him off just as intensely, making him buck his hips to slide in your hands.

You fastened your hands, wanting to torture him sweetly, and he pulled away from you with a curse. “You’ll be the death of me.”

You grinned, though you didn’t relent your pumping. “Gosh, I hope not.”

He smirked before he traced the side of your hip until his fingers skimmed over your wet folds. “Me too,” he sighed, observing how you gasped and lost focus. “I still have so much to do… and so little time.”

He didn’t hesitate, pushing two fingers inside you swiftly to steal away a moan.

“There you are,” he teased, leaning in to brush his lips over yours. “Can’t lose sight of what’s important, right?”

He nipped your lip, and you cursed. “Who’s teasing who now?”

He chuckled darkly, licking your lip as you tried not to writhe under him. Your legs spasmed, trying to give him more space to push his digits inside you while your hands barely held onto his hard shaft.

You were trying your best, but he just knew you too well. The squelching sounds were but the obvious proof that he knew your body and all the ways to make you fall apart, be it the long routes or the shortcuts.

You moaned his name, asking for a kiss, and he couldn’t resist you. As you let his mouth take away your capability to think, you gripped his dick harder and slowed your rhythm. It was inevitable that he’d follow after you, mimicking your fists around him to fingerfuck you with the same cadence. It allowed you to focus on his pleasure, on his breathing, on the way his lips swerved to nip your cheek as he got close, until his cock throbbed, and his hand darted to freeze yours.

The sounds of his moans were a pure delight as you licked your lips, enjoying every second. You had explored with him, finding ways to edge him through the nights you spent together, and one treasure you had found was how to make him cum without ejaculating. It kept him hard and hungry, and you had found it made him the most feral.

Suddenly, he pulled your hands above your head and opened his eyes to meet yours. “Don’t move.”

You shuddered, and he was already gone, burying his face in your cunt while his hands squeezed your tits harshly.

You humped his face, writhing in place, not daring to move your hands. Instead, you gripped the pillows and moaned loudly as he sucked your clit. It was enough to make you forget yourself, but quickly, it became clear that he was not looking to get you off. At least, not so soon.

He stopped to lick your slick off your folds, letting one hand trace down your soft stomach. “Do you want this?”

“Jimin—” Your voice broke when he pinched your nipple harshly. “Yes!”

His other hand found his way inside you as he glued his mouth to your clit again. “Tell me what you want.”

“You!”

His fingers padding the soft patch of your wall were maddening, and his handling of the situation wasn’t better. He kept asking you, over and over, what did you want, refraining his ministrations for a few seconds just to give you enough time before fucking your wet cunt yet again, and you couldn’t take it. You could only cry out his name and beg for him.

“Jimin—please—”

“What do you want me to do?”

You couldn’t form sentences, not when your orgasm was a millimeter away and so well out of your reach. “Fuck— Kiss— Love— Bite—”

He growled, “Again.”

You repeated yourself, feeling so hot you were starting to feel cold.

“Say it, little light,” he groaned before giving your clit a hard suck.

“Bite me!”

Something pierced the skin of your inner thigh, and your orgasm exploded into a million colors. You threw your head back, moaning deeply with every spasm around his fingers. You could feel him suckling and soon hear his groans against your hot skin, but you couldn’t think further than that because his fingers inside you never stopped.

“Good, you’re so good,” he cooed before moving away from your leg. The sight of him with your blood dripping down his chin was one of the most erotic things you had ever seen. “Not letting you come down,” he promised, gluing his lips to your stomach. “Gonna show you how good it feels to be mine.”

You didn’t doubt it but still had it shown to you when his fingers plunged deeper into your sweetness. His fingers hooked harder, his thumb pressing down your swollen clit, and you rolled your hips, moaning and begging.

His fingers rolled a nipple. “Are you ready, little light?”

You were feeling more and more light-headed by the minute but still wanted to chase another high. “Yes!”

“What do you need?” he asked, licking around your navel.

“Bite—”

He sank his teeth above your pelvis bone, right down the plump flesh of your belly, and sucked hard. You moaned loudly, and a second wave of heat spread through you from that same spot. Your weakness was rivaled by the sheer delight spreading through your veins, and as one thumb rolled your clit and the other over your nipple, you humped his hand until you found release.

Your pleasure was unleashed, sucking in his fingers as your eyes rolled back inside your head. You could feel your body shaking as though you were cold, but you were burning alive. You were soaring so high, you were in the clouds, but something was missing.

“Jimin,” you cried, finally daring to search for him with your hands, despite his command.

He didn’t mind; he guided your hands to his crimson lips and kissed them. You were delirious with his venom and begging for him. There was nothing else he could have ever wished for — he was on his way to an eternity with you.

“I’m here,” he promised, kissing your skin as he made his way to your mouth.

“I need you.” You shivered, pulling him closer, and he laid over you like a blanket.

“And I’ll always be here,” he pledged, looking at your pallor, blown pupils, and expanded jugular and carotid. Your heart was racing, compensating for the blood loss, spreading his venom and your bliss faster. “Always, my little light.”

You reached for him, crushing him harder over you as you trembled, then bit his shoulder when he entered you. You could feel him so much better, so much warmer and softer than before. Your nails pierced his skin, and he groaned, never stopping his love lullaby whispered into your ear, and you felt it. The desperation in both your moans as he fucked you on instinct, pressing his nose to the shallow of your neck as though he was waiting for the right moment.

Meanwhile, something was caving inside you. Something deep was crumbling to dust, waiting for something to come and fill in the gaps. You didn’t know what it could be, but you were left wanting, waning, needing to match his ardor with yours, but you weren’t certain your body obeyed you anymore.

“Jimin,” you whispered, realizing your vision had darkened. “I love you.”

You moaned with the familiar bee-sting in your neck and felt a third wave of bliss rattle you. You spasmed, pressed down to the mattress by his weight, and slipped away as you heard him chanting to your neck.

“I love you I love you I love you.”

*****

You woke up with a deep breath and the distinct sensation of a second heartbeat so very close to yours. The pungent smell of blood was all around you, and so was a warm, soothing figure holding you so closely that you could barely breathe.

“Jimin—” you huffed, tapping his shoulder, and he pulled away to look at you.

Tears stained his cheeks but halted as soon as his eyes locked with yours. For a moment, you held your breath. You could feel his heart thrumming and hear his blood singing a heavenly tune, and when his lips trembled, you already knew what he was going to say.

“My little light.”

[undead-cypress]

Some more shitposts and Jpn new game + notes

I THINK (because it's not like I have a script nor am I particularly observant) this miiiiight be the first instance of a personal pronoun? 自分 is a pretty impersonal one though, which makes sense in this context because this is the scene announcing Will's entry into the tournament. The dialogue choices here are, in response to (paraphrased because I don't remember it exactly) "Entry to the tournament? With this runt?"

> It's me who's entering

> not a runt

> don't answer a question with another question

I picked "not a runt" because it is endlessly amusing to me how obviously Will was supposed to be even younger. We're not a baby :((( not born three weeks ago :((((

(please ignore how, in my blazed out state, took me several minutes to try to type in "Jingles" - long story - on the PS4 while still forgetting to add the " to シ so now I'm stuck with "Shingles" for a mc name. Oops. The Japanese PS4 keyboard mapping is NUTS. You know how they put the English keys in alphabetical order?? When you're wired to use QWERTY?? It's kinda like that. It's hard when you're high.)

In other pronoun stuff, all the street vendors (not shop keepers though) refer to the MC as お兄さん, even though they're all universally WAY older. It's more of an informal way to show deference to a potential customer, a rank thing rather than an age or family thing.

Brigitta's pronouns for her dog are basically it/it's 😂. Mostly because she refuses to give it a name, so she refers to the dog as コレ, コイツ, etc

I think it's funny this is Strohl's default mode. I never noticed until now, when one of the ranked events had him going up to the landlord guy like this and for a second I wondered if we're supposed to interpret it as "we saw you across the street and we hate your vibes". But nah that's just his normal. Nobody else's idle pose has clenched fists, this is excellent. I've said it before but his line deliveries are a bit more aggro/seething in Japanese and maybe that's why I'm noticing.

Also, Rangief calls him Leon-bocchama. While "bocchama" translates to "young lord" it's pretty rare and embarrassing to call anyone over the age of eh.... 14 that. It does make the sub theme of Strohl's ranked episodes of coming to age as an adult come through a bit more when Rangief drops it at the end. Also it's funny. The English version places more emphasis on worthiness and responsibility rather than the growing up aspect, which I think is fine tbh because that IS the main thing. Age hierarchies matter less in the anglosphere and it would just be kind of baffling without explanation on why East Asia is obsessed with age hierarchies. And just hierarchies in general.

(it's Confucius's "trickle down ethics"'s fault)

Oh yeah the "my kind of strange" line everyone keeps screenshotting is less interesting in Japanese, it was something like "we'll get along well".

Fabienne is much more forceful sounding in Japanese and her tone was pretty scary at times. In English she comes off as more tired, but in Japanese it sounds much more like she's kind, yes, but she will beat you down with a stick with no hesitation if she must.

Bardon doesn't have an equivalent accent in Japanese and I'm not immediately picking up anything special about the way he talks. Aww. He does still sound very much like a hapless goober though.

Gloddel is even hammier, if that was possible. My god, this is what every middle schooler going through anime phase wishes they sound like.

Neuras has an accent though! He's very much still a wacky scamp.

I kept joking that Hulkenberg is horse coded so my friend made her a horse in miitopia. Then the Mind Horse (draw a horse without using references) challenge started trending again on Bluesky, and people wanted to see my mind horse. Unfortunately my mind horse is just a regular lookin horse and not very funny, so I drew Hulkenhorse instead

You're welcome?

[expectiations]

I love that - thanks to one small line - their first kiss gives us a huge look at what kind of partner (and then later husband) the Eleventh Doctor is.

'What, that's it?'

First of all bear in mind from his perspective, yes they've gotten closer, but he's still suspecting that River might kill him sooner rather than later. It's understandable that some trust issues linger and thus he's still a bit quick with the casually dark (and cruel) demeanour.

River knows that. She knows where he is in his timeline. She knows that, despite how much he flirts with her (and he flirts with her A LOT), he is not her husband, not yet the man that loves her and he's not even the man that knows her. So why does his short goodbye confuse her?

Because this small line tells us that not only have they been dating (from his perspective) between DOTM and AGMGTW but they've been dating physically. To River, this short-fuzed ball of trust-issues is essentially not only her husband but also her actual boyfriend.

Meaning that the Doctor, before he became the doting idiot husband we saw in TATM/TNOTD and even before he knew who she was, never dropped her off after a date without at least (!) kissing her goodbye.

And I'm really putting the emphasis on never because River would otherwise not risk asking for a kiss, if there had been any doubt in her mind that this Doctor isn't a Doctor she had been dating. So what does that tell us?

Despite how much this fandom likes to paint the picture of the evil River who forced herself on the Doctor, she is never the one to initiate (physical) intimacy. She expected to be kissed, she expected the Doctor to kiss her because that's what the Doctor does. Husband or not.

And it's so ingrained in their relationship that even when he showed his honest confusion, River assumed he must be acting coy on purpose to get *her* to kiss *him* for once. And well it worked, intentionally or not, River complied because why wouldn't she? It's what they do.

Until of course she is forced to realise that it might not be what they do for much longer. This was his first kiss; so she might not see the boyfriend version of her Doctor very often from now on, if at all.

But ignoring all the insanely depressing angst of how that scene ended, yes we saw an end for River but we also saw where the Doctor's pre-AGMGTW dating spree and thus the affectionate idiot began because he makes it quite clear that he's up for more. (pun intended)

I wish we could've seen more of their time together. Unfortunately 98% of it happens off-screen but the point of this thread is to show that, even if most of it is off-screen, the show has made the nature of their relationship and the nature of the Doctor's feelings very clear. Moffat's writing style is quick-paced and certainly assumes that the audience isn't too stupid to keep up. (wonder how that worked out) And small lines like these contain so much vital information that, for some people, it's easy to overlook. But all we need to know is right there. The Eleventh Doctor dated River prior to AGMGTW, definitely prior to TWORS; they've been intimate for two hundred (!!!!) years from his perspective before he married her and he is the one to initiate that intimacy. That's all. 🥰

original post on X by @/eIevenriver (who writes the bestest Doctor x River threads ever)

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Confession Time!

A lot of people say they wouldn't have a problem with destiel if it wasn’t for how terribly the hellers (not the regular, unproblematic Destiel shippers) behave. I agree on the fact that the death-threat hurling, actor harassing, fandom toxifying, gaslighting asses make me actively hate the ship, too. But, even if all of its shippers were calm and lovely, I would STILL hate the idea of destiel. This is going to about the ship itself and why I don’t like it, not about criticizing the people who ship it (reasonably).

If anyone stumbles across this and wants to claim it’s because I’m homophoic or some dumb shit, feel free to show yourself out. And grow up. If you agree or are just curious as to why, feel free to read on.

The first reason I can’t get on board with destiel is Castiel himself:

I hate the ship because, if you look at it as Castiel having feeling for Dean from early on, he comes off as a creep. First, how many times has he invaded Dean's personal space or stared at him while he slept, even though Dean has repeatedly told him not to and indicated it made him uncomfortable? I can think of at least 4 off the top of my head, but I’m sure there are more. These moment are written as jokes, and to show Cas is a derpy weirdo, but if you want to read them as a biproduct of Castiel having feeling for Dean, it makes him a stalker.

Second, Castiel only caring about other people, including Sam and Jack, because of Dean makes him a s selfish and kind of shitty character to me. I like the idea of Castiel being a defective amgel, coming off the assembly line with a "crack in his chassy," meaning he was always inclined to question things too much, maybe have an natural affinity for humans, to rebel. The idea that our show's version of Sam, Dean and even Castiel were special because they always defied the story that was written for them is the ultimate demonstration of free will winning out, and it speaks to the uniqueness of "our versions" of their characters. But, when it’s framed as Castiel only rebelling because he has a boner for Dean (like the "confession" scene seems to retroactively suggest), only ever questioned anything because he had a boner for Dean, only went against his fellow angels because he was hot for Dean and not becuae Dean inspired him to do the right thing, and only cared about people he says he loves and calls family because of Dean … that makes Dean special, not Castiel. In fact, it makes Castiel a simp who can’t think for himself, and is anything but genuine in his claim of caring about anyone but Dean. It makes him bereft of his own agency.

Finally, I hate the idea of Dean and Castiel ever being in a romantic relationship because of Castiel's shitty behavior. Castiel essentially forced Jimmy Novak to become his vessel again by possessing his daughter and basically holding her ransom until he consented, and he still thinks he did the right thing into late seasons. Even when he finds Claire to sort of, kind of try make up for taking her dad away, he makes a feeble effort at best, and then basically just wonders off and forgets about her again after his momentary attack of conscious. For Dean, a character who fights to have free will, to shack-up with someone who took over a man's body and when he died (because Castiel took his boy into battle), he just sort of took over the body for himself and called it his, like a crab finding a new shell … is a would make Dean a bit gross, too. Hello, even depressed and desperate Sam wouldn’t bang Ruby until she found a braindead vessel, whose soul had likely departed already (and he’s the monster fucker). Castiel also broke Sam's hell wall leading to him going insane and nearly dying of insomnia, and he did it purposely just to hurt and worry Dean, distracting him from his plan to play god. This is inexcusable, and that fact that Dean even stays his friend feels like a betrayal to Sam, as well as out of character frankly, never mind going on to have a relationship with him. Finally, Castiel has threatened and beaten Dean when he doesn’t do what he wants more than once, when he is much more powerful than Dean (so it’s not even a fair fight) and despite what hellers seem to think, I don’t find abuse sexy.

The next reason I can’t get onboard with Destiel is Dean:

Dean laterallyliterally implies, out right says, and demonstrates multiple times throughout the show that he is straight. Thus, with the version of Castiel that Dean knows being in a male vessel, Dean just isn’t going to be interested in him that way. I’ve seen shippers argue that people sometimes fall in love with someone of the same sex despite identifying as straight, but come on, that is going to be a relatively small percentage of of people. But more than that, Dean isn’t a real person; he’s a character. If the writers were going to make his character have a change of sexuality, or make an exception for Castiel, they would have had to explicitly show it on screen, through words and actions, and not just drop "subtext hints" that never go anywhere, and are largely stupid or hinged on stereotypes. They never did, so Dean remained heterosexual to the end.

Even if his sexuality were not a barrier, Dean does not knowingly peruse monsters. Castiel despite how depowered and essentially useless he becomes over time, is not a human. Angels are essentially just another flavor of monster on Supernatural, thus Dean is not be interested in dating Castiel even if he were in a female vessel, despite what some shippers like to claim. The only times Dean has knowingly hooked up with a monster was with Anna, and that was before she got her grace back and was a true angel again. The other monster he slept with was the Amazon, or whatever she was, before she had a kid with him without his consent, and Dean didn’t know that she was a monster. He frequently criticized Sam for having been with monsters, and that criticism makes it pretty clear that he wouldn’t want to be with any himself. Finally, this is a bit of a side note, any many may not agree with me, but I don't think Dean sees any supernatural creatures as quite equal to humans, and that includes Castiel, Jack and Benny. If it weren’t enough that Dean isn’t into males, the fact that he also isn’t into monsters, pretty much makes the destiel ship dead in the water for me.

Finally, the way Dean treats Castiel is not conducive to friendship at times, never mind romance. Dean pretty frequently belittles Castiel, calling him essentially uselesess when he doesn’t have powers (baby in a trench coat), and he makes fun of Castiel working at the Gas 'n Sip to try sustain himself, after Dean kicked him out of the bunker powerless and penniless. If Dean loves Castiel, mocking him for working whatever job he can after he turned him away, is an interesting way to show it. He also lashes out at Castiel pretty harshly (I though often deservedly). He tells Castiel that "nobody cares that he’s broken," and he says "everything that goes wrong" seems to be because of Castiel, and he told him that if anything happened to his mother after Castiel failed to warn them about Jack' behavior, Castiel would be "dead" to him. Even when the show reminds us of Castiel's existence when he’s not in an episode by having Dean claim he’s worried about him, or having Sam reassure him they’ll find/help Castiel, when Castiel actually is back, Dean essentially goes back to ignoreimg him. Dean only seems to care about Castiel when he’s missing or when he can help them fight something. In down time, he’s usually pretty happy just to chill with Sam.

Finally, I can’t ship destiel because of Sam, or more specially, Sam & Dean:

Sam and Dean have such a twisted-up, enmeshed, and all-consuming relationship with each other, that shipping either of them with characters outside of their relationship just isn’t interesting to me. I personally don’t ship them together, either. What they have goes beyind relationship categorization (brothers, friends, adversaries, parent/child, life partners, etc.), and I honesty think if the show had defied network parameters and actually had them hook up sexually, the relationship would have lost something. Sam and Dean are so unique and compelling in that their big love is a sibling and not a romantic parnptner, or even a parent/child relationship, that even as a fan of a good romantic pairing normally, I love that them exactly as they are. And their relationship is more meaningful to me than almost any other fictional one I’ve encountered. So frankly, shipping either with anyone long-term (I wouldn’t have hated seeing both of them have one more short romantic relationship in there somewhere) just feels pointless to me, and would just pale in comparison to what Sam and Dean are with to each other.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for lottie behind the cut; “a pocketful of Kons”. Rewrote/added-to/edited the first few paragraphs of this scene, so including the adjusted intro in here too. content warnings: Cassie is a teenage girl with anxiety/self-worth issues who is not old enough to understand why her mom is so concerned about the idea of "Superman" being her soulmate and therefore has some, like, somewhat unhealthy/concerning thought processes about how she should BE Superman's soulmate. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Cassie’s never actually been to the Watchtower before, and it’s maybe a little embarrassing how cool she can’t help thinking it all is. Cas seems to think it’s pretty cool too–which makes sense, since it’s technically his first time here too and on top of that also a pretty important place to Superman–and keeps zipping ahead and around curiously and then back to her again and again. Sometimes he takes Odie with him, but mostly he gets excited and forgets to. 

He'd gotten really excited when Cassie'd changed into her costume before they'd come up here, but she's still kind of flustered about that particular experience so like, she's maybe just . . . not gonna think about it right now. 

He'd been really, really excited, though. She doesn't think anybody's ever been so happy to see her version of Wonder Girl, even people whose lives she was, like, actively saving at the time. 

Diana gives Cas a thoughtful look while he’s following the elevator buttons as they light up from floor to floor, but doesn’t say anything about it. 

“I spoke with Zatanna when I called in earlier,” she says instead as they step out of the elevator, and Cassie feels increasingly embarrassed about . . . literally everything, basically. How many people exactly did Diana tell about Cas? And how many of those people are gonna be here and want to ask her questions about him, possibly at the same time?

She’s not, like–Cas is her Pocket; she’s not ashamed of him. 

She is super, super embarrassed about the idea of Zatanna and Black Canary and Green Arrow and the Flash and every single Green Lantern and probably, like, Batman all asking her why Superman’s her soulmate. Like–definitely that sounds embarrassing. 

Or life-alteringly mortifying, at least. 

“Uh, did she . . . say anything?” Cassie asks awkwardly, not really sure why Diana mentioned that anyway. “Like, um–about . . . Superman, or whatever.” 

“She informed me of the fact that he appears to have returned to Metropolis, of course, but also that he has made no attempt to contact the League,” Diana says. “Nor anyone else he might've been expected to.” 

Cassie . . . blinks. Who else would he even . . . ? 

Well–probably Supergirl, she guesses. She doesn't think Supergirl's in the League or anything. But otherwise, well . . . it's not like there's all that many people running around with the “S” on or anything. Like, it's really just the two of them, right? 

And if his first soulmate isn't dead–like, he'd want to see her, obviously. 

Or maybe Diana means, like–her. 

Superman has to have a Pocket of her too, after all, and if hers showed up in costume like Cas did . . . well, it's not like she'd be that hard to find. Especially not for Superman. With how fast he is, he could've been in Gateway about five seconds after deciding he wanted to be in Gateway. So like, if he had wanted to . . . 

Cassie feels a little–weird about that, for some reason. Like . . . a little freaked-out, maybe. She doesn't know why; he's her soulmate. There's nothing to get freaked-out by. Even if he's probably the greatest hero of the sector after Diana and basically everyone not a supervillain idolizes and adores and trusts him and he’s, like–he's Superman, and she's . . . 

Well. She's definitely not Wonder Woman, if nothing else. Or Troia, either. She's just kind of . . . here, maybe. Like–by comparison and all, she means. 

Cassie thinks about how cold and empty Superman’s face had looked on the feed from Metropolis and feels a little weirder, and still doesn't know why. Which–she needs to, like–stop that, obviously. Needs to step up here. If Superman needs her, she can't be weird around him. Whether his other soulmate's dead or not, whatever's wrong with him is clearly really wrong. 

Just–his face. He’d looked so . . . 

She just needs to not get–weird, or anxious, or whatever about that. She just needs to be, like–just needs to figure out what he needs, and how to be that. That’s all. Like, what if he had come looking for her and she’d gotten freaked-out on him? How would that help him? He literally got beat to death in front of the whole world by a monster nobody else could take out, and his other soulmate might be dead, and his face looked like that, and . . . 

She just needs to figure out how to be what he needs. That’s just, like–that’s obviously what she has to do. She has to figure it out, and then she has to be it. 

She doesn’t understand why her mom’s so upset that someone actually needs her, for once. 

“Uh . . . so do they think that’s, like . . . a bad sign, then?” she asks, a little awkward. She’s heard a few million weird ways that people in the community “died” or un-died, and plenty of them weren’t really, like . . . necessarily benevolent ones, she guesses would be the best way to describe it. “Like do they think he’s got amnesia or something? Or like, did he not even actually die, or did he only just come back, or–I dunno, was he only gone so long because somebody just had his body locked up somewhere or–?” 

Cas makes a weird sound she’s never heard a Pocket make before, and she–blinks, and looks over towards him reflexively. He zips over and hovers over her shoulder, tugging insistently at the long ends of her wig and making the sound again. It’s sort of . . . 

It doesn’t sound like he’s singing, but it’s . . . musical, sort of. 

Diana tilts her head and gives Cas another thoughtful look. 

“Cas?” Cassie asks, frowning at him. “What’s . . . wrong?” 

She’s not actually sure something’s wrong, but the musical sound is–weird, kinda. Like, it’s sort of cute, but also she’s just never heard any Pocket make it before. Like, not even on TV or in a movie or anything. 

Is it a Kryptonian thing, maybe? Or is it because of whatever made Superman’s face look so–empty? 

“Wondy!” Cas protests. “Wondy Wondy!” 

“Um . . .” Cassie trails off, not sure what he’s upset about or if he actually is upset, or is just trying to tell her something. He looks kind of upset, now, but more in a frustrated way than anything else. 

Cas makes an indignant face, his cheeks puffing out in–frustration, maybe? annoyance?–and yanks at her wig again, this time hard enough to tug at the clips in her hair and nearly pull it crooked. Cassie reflexively grabs the other side to tug it back down, and Cas makes the musical sound again, louder. 

It actually doesn’t even really sound like a sound a person would make. More like something, like . . . maybe more like something an instrument would. 

Odie churrs inquisitively, and Cas lets go of her wig, scowls at her, and then zips over to Diana’s shoulder instead and throws himself at Odie, who wraps an arm around his shoulders and lets him burrow in against his side and very obviously sulk there like a grumpy little kid. 

. . . yeah, Cassie has literally zero clue what to take from that behavior.

[a-mel0n]

In June of 2024, I went on a camping trip with my family for a week down by the beach. While we were watching the waves crash against the shore, I was scrolling through Tumblr when a certain gifset in my For You page caught my attention. I can't remember who made the gifset, but the scene it captured was Buck coming out to Maddie in 7x05.

I stopped scrolling and watched a mute version of Evan Buckley play the pronoun game with his sister, I watched him say the words "Sure, I'll check out a hot guy's ass, but that's normal," and watched Maddie say "It's not... abnormal," and despite having no idea who these characters were, I could perfectly hear every delivery for those lines in my head as if I had already seen the show.

Curiosity got the better of me, so I clicked on the gifmaker's profile and watched another gifset. The Fabled First Date scene. My introduction to Tommy Kinard was his eyebrow raise when Evan Buckley stuttered out "But I'm not weirded out!" The little nod he does after Buck says "I mean, I'm an ally." while on a date with a man never fails to make me laugh, and it was that gifset that had me text a friend and say: "hey have u heard of 911. the tv show?" The response I got was: "gay firefighters. i wanna watch the show ngl." When I sent over the link to the gifsets I watched, my friend sent approximately fifteen crying emojis, then proceeded to say: "Im so watching this show. You should watch it too. So we can talk abt it together. I never have ppl to talk to abt this stuff."

Thus, history was made.

As soon as I got back from that trip, me and my friend proceeded to binge the entirety of 9-1-1 in just over two weeks. I started 1x01, "Pilot" on 6/27/2024 at 9:40 PM, and finished 7x10, "All Fall Down" on 7/12/2024 at 1:59 PM.

Since then, I've become the most involved in a fandom I've ever been in, met plenty of wonderful people who share the same love for this series and these characters as I do, and have made dozens of memories that will be quite difficult to forget.

9-1-1 has been an unforgettable experience, and it's all because of a single small acting decision that Lou Ferrigno Jr. made while playing Tommy Kinard in 7x05, a gifset made by a random person on Tumblr that just so happened to show up on my For You page, and the encouragement of a friend to open Hulu and watch a silly little firefighter show.

Buck and Tommy were a fundamental reason as to why I started watching this show, and seeing them break up hurt me in a way I wasn't really prepared for. I knew I was invested in their relationship, but I never knew how invested I truly was until they were gone. Their breakup may be temporary or it might be permanent, and although their relationship is fiction, the hurt I felt was real.

And that's why the Bucktommy fandom has been so important to me, because in spite of the breakup, we're still going strong. The @alliwantforchristmasislou positivity project is amazing. Unfortunately, I cannot donate to a charity, but I strongly implore anyone reading this to donate if you can and haven't already.

And.. that's it! I've said my piece. But... oh, there is one last thing:

#alliwantforchristmasislou

[sineala]

Hi Sine,

You know comics much better than I do. Where does Bucky and/or Steve reading the Hobbit come from? Is that just fannon or is it from comics?

thanks so much

The short answer is that MCU Bucky has canonically read The Hobbit (as established in the FATWS show), and 616 Steve has canonically been a Tolkien fan since the early Avengers comics. We see him reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy over the course of a recent series.

I brought panels!

The main piece of evidence that 616 Steve is a Tolkien fan is that he explicitly says so. Here in Avengers #46, Pietro has suggested to Steve that they should go to a baseball game and Steve says he'll go as soon as he finishes this chapter of Tolkien. "I always was a sucker for far-out fantasy," he explains.

This image, which is generally the one you will see circulating, is a detail from this larger panel:

The Lord of the Rings novels were originally published in the mid-50s in both the UK and US, but -- as various reference sites will tell you -- they didn't really take off in the US until 1965, when Ace Books published unauthorized paperback editions of the novels, which then meant that Ballantine Books went and put out actual authorized paperback versions, which became massively massively popular, particularly among college students; LotR finally hit the NYT bestseller list in late 1966, a decade after its publication. I mention this because this issue of Avengers, as you can probably guess from the slang, is from 1967, which is when LotR would still have been riding the wave of extreme popularity. IIRC, 1967 is about when Marvel Comics also was starting to get popular among college students (as opposed to children), so it makes sense that they're trying to be cool and culturally-relevant to the college kids. So of course Captain America's going to read far-out fantasy.

(There are references in other comics to Steve clearly liking SF/F books and movies -- like, he reads pulp SF in MA:A -- but this is when we see him reading Tolkien.)

So, as far as I know, for about fifty years, this was the only canon reference to Steve being a Tolkien fan, but then Kurt Busiek's series The Marvels came out in 2021. (This is a twelve-issue series that has nothing to do with the 1994 Busiek & Ross miniseries Marvels. Comics names are just confusing.) If you're familiar with Kurt Busiek's comics writing, you know that he is really into putting comics references into his work. Sure, a lot of comics writers do that, but Busiek in particular does it in such a way that you wouldn't necessarily catch it if you didn't know it was a reference, but if you do, you know exactly why it's there. Like, there's bit at the end of Avengers v3 #1 where the Avengers are being magically teleported; the narrator tells us that the last thing Steve thinks is that Iron Man would hate this. The issue never explains why Steve thinks this. But if you're an Iron Man fan, you know that Tony hates magic; "I hate magic" is, in fact, a statement he has repeatedly made for decades. So if this happened to Tony, he would think "I hate magic." And it makes perfect sense that Steve would know Tony would think this. So a lot of Busiek's work has little canon references like that.

So, yeah, in The Marvels, Steve is very quietly, in the background of the series, reading Tolkien.

In The Marvels #1, we see Steve preparing to make a space-jump from orbit. While he's waiting for the green light, he's reading The Return of the King; he then hands the book to the person next to him and asks them to save his place.

Here's a close-up:

You might at this point wonder if he's still reading this book later in the series. Actually, this particular scene is set -- as the page tells us -- ten days in the future, so the entire rest of The Marvels actually predates this moment. So as we go through the series, we do see that he is actually reading the whole trilogy!

A little later in The Marvels #1, we see Steve and Carol hanging out in a park eating delicious sandwiches:

But check out what Steve is reading:

Yep, it's Fellowship. So here, ten days in the past, Steve is reading the first book. Presumably rereading it; I suspect, given that this is all because of the reference in Avengers #46, that he's supposed to have read it before.

Does he also read The Two Towers, you might ask? He does! Here in The Marvels #5, that's what he's reading:

Close-up:

He blew through the whole trilogy in, like, ten days. While also saving Earth! Go him. That's a pretty quick reread even if you're not saving Earth.

So, yes, 616 Steve is canonically a Tolkien fan, and a fantasy fan in general. Hope that helps.

I don't know if there's any evidence for 616 Bucky being a Tolkien fan, but MCU Bucky, in episode two of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, has a conversation with Sam in which he references Gandalf; when Sam is surprised that Bucky has heard of Gandalf, Bucky tells him he read The Hobbit in 1937.

As this article points out, this is actually a really weird claim for Bucky to make. While 616 Steve is reading Tolkien in 1967, at the time Tolkien's work became wildly popular in the US -- this was not the situation in 1937. Tolkien was not, at this time, a world-famous fantasy writer; he was a philologist at Oxford, specializing in Anglo-Saxon, and he was a guy who had just published this children's book, The Hobbit. The Hobbit was in fact not published in the US until 1938; 1937 is its original year of publication in the UK, and its first print run was not large. So in order for Bucky to have read it in 1937 in the US, he has to have read an imported copy at some point in the last three months of 1937, since it was only published at the end of September. So make of that what you will. I mean, my guess is that the MCU writers thought it would be a great "gotcha" moment, looked up when The Hobbit was published, and didn't think that hard.

In case you are wondering whether the Tolkien references in The Marvels were inspired by the MCU -- as you can see a Steve & Bucky themed article asserting -- I am pretty sure that Busiek was actually inspired by Avengers #46. The FATWS episode in question was released on March 26, 2021. And while The Marvels #1 was not released until a month after that, on April 28, 2021, The Marvels is actually a series that got pushed way, way back due to the pandemic. The series was originally announced in February 2020, and the announcement included, as a preview, the page of Steve and Carol eating sandwiches in which Steve is clearly reading Tolkien. So this exact page existed over a year before the FATWS release, and was probably created several months before that. So, yeah, despite what clickbait articles will tell you, I don't think Kurt Busiek was making a cute Stucky reference; I think he was being a big ol' Silver Age Avengers nerd.

But, yeah, anyway, 616 Steve has canonically been a Tolkien fan since 1967.

However, some Marvel comics writers don't actually know that. In JMS' recent Cap run, in issue #12, another character makes a LotR reference when Steve hands him a magic ring, and Steve asks if that's from Star Wars:

This is deeply weird, not just because we now have multiple comics supporting that Steve is a Tolkien fan, but also because it asserts that Steve might actually think it was a Star Wars reference. And that's weird because in issue #8, four issues earlier, JMS has written Steve quoting The Empire Strikes Back and saying it's one of his favorite movies:

Even if you accept the idea that Steve isn't a Tolkien fan, because JMS clearly did not know this deep-cut canon reference, Steve would presumably know that this was not part of his favorite movie! His favorite movie that the guy who wrote this very comic has just established as his favorite movie! I just. What. No.

So, yeah, the only way this works at all, I think, is if Steve is just trolling these kids by asking if it's Star Wars. It's one of the several things from this JMS run that are dead to me.

In conclusion, yes, 616 Steve is a Tolkien fan, and MCU Bucky presumably is as well.

[stedes-tarty-pink-robe]

Now that I've seen all three versions of the finale, I can give my thoughts. It's not the worst final episode I've seen, but I am disappointed. I enjoyed the meta-ness but wish it was executed better.

Wwdits likes to play loose with continuity, especially dropping plotlines at the start of a new season, but they usually give us conclusions to arcs within a season like Season 5's throughline of Guillermo struggling with vampirism. Not this time. Season 6 just felt superfluous. Nandor/Guide, Jerry's return, the Monster's search for love - none of it went anywhere and could have been cut without much of a difference. Even one off episode things like Laszlo's growing awareness of Sean's mortality or Guillermo's cousin finding out about vampires came up and then were never followed up on. It makes me wonder why any of these plotlines were introduced in the first place? I'll give them credit for giving Guillermo's work plotline and Nadja's attempts to understand humans proper conclusions. Guillermo's experience teaches him that he doesn't belong in the human world and that humans can be just as predatory as vampires, and Nadja's job helps her become the most emotionally savvy member of the house, but that's it.

I get that "nothing ever changes with the vampires" and "nothing the vampire's do matters" are big themes in the finale, and they've popped up in previous seasons, but being thematically consistent doesn't make an ending satisfying if it doesn't have emotional catharsis for the audience. Why should we care if the characters don't? What's the point of the plotlines if everything keeps looping back around to where we started? Without a payoff, it can come across as time wasted.

That's a pity because wwdits had so much going for it - interesting characters and relationship dynamics and fun bits. It just seems like the writers didn't know how to go beyond the individual scenes to find a satisfying conclusion, so they didn't bother to try. They contructed the finale in an interesting way by having 3 versions of the same episode air, but the content still felt empty. The episode itself even seemed aware of this, reminding us that last year's conclusion would have made a better series finale and having Colin comment on how many series mess up their ends. I appreciate the writer's self-awareness, but it didn't make the episode any more enjoyable.

That said, I'm glad they did not stick with the "Guillermo leaves again" fake out ending because that would be the cherry on top of my "nothing ever changes or matters" problem with the show. I also liked some of the "perfect ending" hypnosis scenes. I'd rank them as 1 Rosemary's Baby, 2 Newhart and 3 Usual Suspects.

Overall, this is a flawed show that was still fun even if didn't quite stick it's landing.

[taran-wood-beast]

So I think the main thing I've learned here is that Kerblam! could have worked if they had just made that guy the World's Most Annoying Piece of Shit Asshole. Like, I'm no fan of the CIA. But if they fed, I dunno, Chris Rufo to the terror dogs from Ghostbusters, I can't really pretend I'd have a problem with that?

I've been wondering for weeks now why McTighe is the one Chibnall era writer to get invited back and it seems pretty clear now that it's because he actually is pretty solid at both characterization and propelling forward an entertaining narrative. He just can't stop stepping on politics rakes Sideshow Bob style.

Also I still haven't forgiven him for girlbossifying Ace

Some little details I really enjoyed here:

* Love when Ncuti rolls his Rs McCoy style.

* The costuming on Conrad and Ruby's first date, where they're both dressed in riffs on Fifteen's outfits.

* The little domestic bits between Kate and her hunky trophy BF. This is how UNIT is supposed to function.

Actually the main thing threatening to completely break this episode is that the eternal tension between "UNIT is a familiar and loveable ad hoc family of Earth based supporting characters we like" (Season 8 UNIT) and "UNIT is a ruthless clandestine international paramilitary with world-ending technology and little to no oversight" (Season 7 UNIT) is stretched to its furthest ever extreme. Another user refers to it as the Avengers-fication of UNIT. I don't think that tension gets resolved here. I'm actually not sure it can be resolved. And I sort of wonder if stretching and prodding at that tension may actually be the point of the exercise for these 45 minutes? It would be in keeping with other deconstructions of aspects of Doctor Who RTD has overseen in the past

Moving on, the actual most interesting part of the episode for me is the "Ruby has PTSD" section. It's deft character work, well acted, and crucially it's an angle on Life After The TARDIS thats never been done before. It gets paid some lip service with Martha but we don't stick around long enough to dig into it. Looking forward to see where they go with this in the finale.

Also the fact that Ruby explicitly cites "getting trapped in a double bass" as one of the things that traumatized her is hysterical. Doctor Who is such a silly silly show but even the silly parts would be completely terrifying if you had to actually experience them!

Also also imagining Belinda one day having a similar conversation but one of her traumatic experiences is "I met some nerds."

Trinity Wells you will always be famous. Also love that we're just stuck with Fox News Trinity Wells now.

Re: the TARDIS scene at the end...You can tell McTighe has only written Jodie's Doctor before now because the Doctor talks like a cop here. It's his version of the Capaldi one-liners in Boom.

I really liked this scene actually. It's completely in keeping with other times the Doctor has gone Vindictive Bastard mode on people who've personally hurt his friends. And its great to see Ncuti get a proper Vindictive Bastard Doctor scene! It's really good, juicy stuff. Just, man. The actual lines he's given...you can really hear the Supercilious Yorkshire Lilt in some of those authoritative moral condemnations...

It's naturally mostly Ncuti's performance that makes it interesting. Because right at the end, when Conrad refuses to show remorse, the look on Ncuti's face is just...sadness. Because this Doctor would be sad about it! He starts the scene seemingly brushing off Conrad's suggestion that the Doctor is there to "save his soul" but then when Conrad refuses to have his soul saved...he's disappointed after all! He was hoping to save his soul! It's a really savvy performance note that cuts against the obvious reading of the scene. People who keep saying they "don't know Ncuti's Doctor" aren't watching!!!

That said, its extremely frustrating that we have three Doctor Lite episodes for a Doctor who might only get 18 and a half episodes total.

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike! Absolutely love your work, especially Haunting of Hill House and Fall of the House of Usher. I was wondering a couple things:

Any chance we will ever get to see that deleted scene where Carla plays a homeless woman singing to Madeleine? Loved the Easter egg and also can’t get enough of Verna so it would be so cool to see that deleted scene!

Also wanted to know what it was like working with Mary? It was such a joy to see her in House of Usher!! Hoping to see her in future Flanaverse projects!!

Hi there! That material was removed very early in the editing process, long before the scene was completed, so there isn't a finished "scene" to show. Carla and Mary did fine work acting in those moments, but the series as a whole is stronger without it, so a completed version of the scene with that footage simply never existed. It's an odd alchemy when you tell a story this way, and sometimes scenes that seem to work on the page can be acted beautifully, shot exquisitely, and still not be necessary or additive. In this case, it actually worked against the mysteries of the show, it wasn't believable that Madeline wouldn't recognize Verna, and it was clear that this was a mistake. It was my mistake for writing the scene the way I did, and it happens all the time. We could tell immediately that it didn't fit, so we didn't waste much time proving it out. Releasing deleted scenes is a tricky thing. I love bonus features - it's one of the great benefits of physical media - but even if we had a huge special edition box set of Usher, I don't know that we would have included this scene. Sometimes these things just aren't meant for the audience, even as an interesting relic, and this is one of those times. Incidentally, I had the same feeling about some of the material that didn't make it into the Bly Manor edit. We knew the scenes weren't working very early in the process, so they were never refined into any shape that would warrant their release. Fans will hear an actor talk about scenes they worked on, and the fans get all excited, but if they were to see those scenes it wouldn't enhance their love of the characters or the story... in fact, it can work against it. For years, I've had Bly fans reach out lamenting that they can't see some of the Bly material they've read about in cast interviews, but I'm certain that seeing it in its raw, unfinished state wouldn't enhance or deepen their love of the characters or the show. There's really nothing to release. It's just excess material that lands on the floor while you're sculpting, and sticking it back onto the sculpture only makes a noticeable wart. Other times, though, deleted scenes can be incredibly additive. For example, I think the 30 minutes we took out of the theatrical release of Doctor Sleep only enhanced the movie, and made the experience that much more rich - which was why I was so happy to release the Director's Cut with those scenes restored. Those scenes, though, were fully finished, and only removed in the first place because of the movie's run-time. Restoring those elements made the sculpture complete - they were always supposed to be there. But most times, deleted material is just unnecessary material. It can be like having an amazing meal prepared for you, and then being handed a plate of surplus or unused ingredients. Like, the chef needed to peel a lemon before squeezing it over the meal as a wonderful finishing touch. That dash of citrus really made the meal sing. But that doesn't mean you want to eat the peel. And I LOVE working with Mary. I'm sure we'll do it again!

[undreaming-fanfiction]

For A Handful of Bandaids

This is my entry for SpicySixWinterFanworksChallenge organized by the lovely @thefreakandthehair.

“Hey Steve, do you know where we’ve got some bandaids?”

In hindsight, Eddie should have known that a simple question like that would never prompt a simple response from his boyfriend. Steve was many things - brave, loyal, a great cook, wonderful in bed, but most of all - he tool Eddie’s well-being very seriously. He was a raging bull whose red flag was anything related to health, injury, sickness or danger, no matter how small.

Well. Not really raging. More like anxious, caring and always ready to whip out half of a pharmacy.

So of course, the answer wasn’t “they’re in the second drawer,” nope.

Instead, Steve stood up, grabbed Eddie by his shoulders and started checking him for injuries. “Eddie, are you hurt? Did someone in town attack you again? Shit, I thought things’ve calmed down, did you recognize them?”

It would have been hilarious if Eddie hadn’t hated making Steve worried.

He reached for Steve’s hands, still on his shoulders, and put on his most persuasive voice. “Steve, baby, I swear I’m fine! No attacks, no black eyes, no broken bones. I’m completely fine!” He even grabbed his collar and moved it to the side so Steve could check. “See? No strangulation marks. Uh...no new strangulation marks, post-bat.”

Steve seemed to be calming down, good. Fantastic. “So...” he said slowly, “...you don’t need them for yourself? Did one one of the kids get hurt? Wayne?”

Eddie really wanted to punch himself in the face now. Why hadn’t he spent those five extra minutes looking for the bandaids himself?!

“No. Look, Steve. I need them for myself, but for something small. Something very very VERY tiny. I just made a not-so-ideal decision and now I want to treat the consequences.”

Steve’s eyes narrowed and his stare traveled directly into Eddie’s soul. “Eddie. What. Did. You. Do?”

“...I think it would be easier to show you.”

---

In another hindsight, it would have been easier to tell Steve. If Eddie thought seeing the crime scene would calm his boyfriend down, he was dead wrong.

Steve’s eyes traveled over the destruction. Eddie’s books, neatly arranged on bookshelves that morning, were now lying everywhere. The books from the bookcase didn’t fare any better - except the bookcase was now lying on them, over their bed. Speaking of the bed, the plant that they saved from a local dumpster and nurtured back to health? That plant was now depotted over Eddie’s pillow.

He sucked in a breath through his front teeth. “Did someone break in?”

Eddie shook his head so fast his hair became a tangled mess. “No. Nono. Steve. No one invaded our wonderful home. No one damaged our property. I mean, someone did, but it was...very much deserved.”

“Eddie. Explain. Now.”

“Oh yeah. Sure. Will do. Um...how long a version do you want?”

“Concise.”

“Right. In short - Ozzy did this.” Noticing Steve’s disbelieving stare, Eddie quickly added: “But I deserved it. Totally.”

Steve sat down onto the single clean and empty spot on their bed. “Are you telling me that our cat knocked over a full bookcase?”

Eddie had the decency to look guilty. “Oh no, that was me.”

“I take back the “concise” request. Tell me everything. Step by step.”

“Right.” Eddie’s eyes darted between each aspect of the crime scene, trying to put together a reasonable explanation. “So. I was sitting on the bed with Ozzy. He didn’t like something I did and decided to run away, but I was...sort of connected to him.”

“Sort of connected...?”

Eddie waved his hand. “I’ll explain. But as he was escaping, I had to go after him, because you know...connected. And he really didn’t like that. So he jumped up that bookcase and we were still-”

“-connected?” Steve didn’t seem to understand or believe any of it, but he was certainly entertained.

“Yep. So I tried to climb the bookcase and get him down.”

Steve’s palm connected with his forehead with a resounding slap. “Eddie. Do you know how physics work?”

Snorting, Eddie shook his head. “Of course I don’t, Steve. Failed high school twice, remember? But I also know your grades and because of that I dare to say - neither do you. Not that physics would have gotten Ozzy down.”

“That part is true.” Steve was grinning back at him, imagining the chaos. “So, you climbed the bookcase and it fell on you. What next?”

Eddie pointed at the sad remains of Steve’s plant. “I knew how much you love that plant, so I decided to save it. Since it was on that bookshelf. I heroically leapt from the bookcase and towards the plant, but I have miscalculated my daring rescue.”

Steve’s eyebrows did that adorable confused scrunch. “You what?”

“I jumped too fast and it fell on my head.”

“Oh.”

Eddie nodded, touching a sore spot on his nape. “Yeah. And my head gave it that extra bounce to land on the pillow. Wrong side up, I’m afraid.”

Steve reached out to the plant and picked it up, examining its leaves. “I think she’ll live. She’s a strong girl. Continue.”

“Not much more to tell,” Eddie shrugged. “Ozzy used the commotion to disconnect himself from me and darted outside. I got soil out of my hair and went to ask you for bandaids.

Steve was stroking the plant’s leaves, checking for damage. “The one thing I don’t understand is this. How didn’t I hear it happening?”

“Oh, it was much faster than it sounds. And I believe you were washing the dishes.”

“That explains it,” Steve nodded and set the plant into its miraculously unharmed flower pot. “One more question then. How were you connected?”

Eddie started chewing on his hair and looking at the ground instead of Steve. “You know...it’s almost Christmas, right?” he asked in a quiet voice. “And you love Christmas. Everyone knows you love Christmas, so...”

“Eddie. How were you connected?” he repeated slowly, carefully.

He smiled sheepishly, pulling something colorful from his pocket. “Do you know how they say that fate connects you with a red string? Something like that. The rest shall be revealed when we find Ozzy. I think he’s hiding under the sink again.”

Steve stood up and sighed the deepest sigh Eddie had heard in ages. “I have no clue where this is going,”

---

Ozzy was, as Eddie had predicted, hiding under the sink. He was hiding really well, 10/10 would not find the cat, except for the red wool that led from the corridor directly to the bathroom. And when they finally got the unhappy cat out with promises of treats and even more treats, Steve finally saw it and laughed.

“Really, this is what you did?” he asked and reached out to free Ozzy.

Despite his prompt escape, Ozzy still bore wounds from his brave fight against Eddie. Except those weren’t wounds, it was a half-unraveled red Christmas sweater. Steve thought he recognized Claudia Henderson’s work. No matter who knitted it, Ozzy obviously hated the idea.

Eddie was, just like the sweater, bright red. “See, it was nearly finished and I promised to try it on him, just to see if it fits. And when he decided he didn’t like it, which was pretty much immediately, I think one of the loose threads got caught on my rings. So...yeah.”

 Steve pulled him into a kiss and scratched Ozzy’s back, now free from the wooly prison.

“You really thought you could get that sweater on our cat? You’re adorable. I’ll get those bandaids.”