#still wanting sex but hating it on my period not bc of my partner just bc it makes me feel actively undesirable. having to plan for sex

[drakerry]

since i got my iud i barely get my period anymore - maybe once every two or three months and only a bit of spotting - and it’s like a weight i never even noticed has been lifted off my shoulders. still interrogating whether it’s a gender thing but the amount of stress, shame, and physical pain i was dealing with regularly… when i could have NOT BEEN? well hello let’s celebrate that

[findafight]

i agree w all of your r*nance thoughts. i also think a big issue for them would be nancy never being robin's Person bc of steve; i do not think that's something nancy could stomach. tho at this point, even if i had liked it originally, i would despise it bc of how often ppl have robin or nancy or both do absolutely sick and twisted things to steve. like the amount of fics where robin doesn't tell steve/actively lies to him about it for extended periods of time then he just has to be okay w it or they have robin just start putting nancy above steve in every aspect of life is ridiculous. then there's the really bad ones, like the fic i saw where the entire premise is r*nance fucking in steve's bed w/o his knowledge (and robin specifically doesn't feel bad at all which ???? like they have nancy feel bad but not robin? i will never understand) or the ficlet i saw where robin asks steve for sex advice then either 1) tells him it's nancy and he makes the advice specific (wtf) or 2) doesn't tell him but he figures it out later bc nancy thanks him since she realized the advice came from him (demonic). like what the actual fuck. sorry i had to complain about the things i've been forced to see against my will by tumblr.

so many things to complain about having seen on the hellsite. carry on fellow soldier 🫡

dsakjhfaksdhkf ya like. the concept of either of them starting to date someone they like and not immediately busting the other's door down like candace_momholyFUCK dot jpeg is just absurd to me. Robin would kiss a girl for the first time and as soon as she gets home she's dialing Steve up and twirling the phone cord around her fingers and kicking her legs, giggling. They were having boobie talk in the car at 7am. they def share if they actually get a date with someone they have a crush on!! (the exception being if that person didn't want to come out, like I could see Steve telling Robin he kissed a guy or had a boyfriend but not saying who because the bf wasn't ready for other people/people he didn't know well to know? but robin would still know he had a bf and details about what they do, just not personal details.)

I find it actually laughable that people would consider Robin would put some romantic interest above her most specialest boy in the whole wide world. Like. She was obsessed with him when she held her tammy and bagel crumb grudge and hated him! Now she loves him? Do people thing she isn't obsessed with him now?? Absolutely not she's worse and she steals his shirts to prove it.

Which I agree with you. Nancy obviously wants to be her romantic partner's priority and number 1. Jonathan's priority is his family and we saw in both s3 and s4 that this causes strain in their relationship! To the point they kinda break up in s3 about it! Robin and Steve both can no longer give that to their partners, because they have each other, scoops troop, and, by extension, the Party. Which is wild because s2 Nancy was Steve's priority.

idk whyyy people have Robin be mean to Steve :( stopppp that's her special little guy. her sweet cheese. her rotten soldier. She might say or do something that hurts him but she would try to apologize as soon as she realizes!! Just like he would for her! I think it might come from people still prioritizing romo ships over platonic ones and trying to have those be the most important and special and deep relationship the characters have.

lldkfjlakdflkajlfdj anon those are WILD fics wow. I think some are trying to acknowledge past st4ncy, but neglect all the hurt that happened at the end of that relationship, and that for the characters, in s4, Steve and Nancy broke up less than a year and a half ago! very messily and hurtfully! (once again, regardless of whether or not steve knows Nancy cheated) that is so short between the end of the relationship to be hooking up with your best friend's ex! that he has expressed romantic feelings for recently! or trying to emphasize robin and steve's weird little qpr comfortable in one another's space and oversharing relationship but missing the mark. like. it's one thing to sleep in a friend's bed with a different friend. it another to have sex in a friend's guest bedroom. it's another level to have sex in your friends bed? that's bonkers.wild.

I do think it'd be funny for Steve and Robin to exchange sex tips/stories but the first time i think Robin asks and Steve just blanks and goes "cut your nails. watch your teeth." which like. yeah. Robin figured. They're weirdos who live inside each other's pockets and brains but they probably do have some levels of comfort to work up to (they've been friends for less than a year! even if it feels like they've known each other forever)

(also. there is a weird thing sometimes where Nancy is closer to Steve/cares more openly about him than she would. I think it might be a bit of a backlash to people pointing out that she cheated on him in s2 and then seemed to not talk to him at all between then and s3 and again between s3 and s4? hmm...)

[oneforthemunny]

this is trauma dumping and i only have a brother and think of you as a bigger sister in some way bc i follow you for so long so pls feel free to ignore it. i started chatting with a dude i met on tinder and i really like him. we have so many similar interests but he told me from the start that he is looking only for fwb. i am in my mid twenties and i'm still a virgin lol (yeah i know) bc i always wanted a secure relationship and my first time to be with someone who truly cares for me. i never met someone that fits that. this guy makes everything sexual and i can tell that he is kinky by the way he talks about sex. especially after i told him that i am subby when we once talked about it. i ignore that for the sake of still chatting with him bc when we talk about other stuff it's so fun. idk if i should give in and just sleep with him to 'get it over with'. before i die as a virgin, might aswell do it with someone who i find cool in other aspects. also i am very insecure about my vulva lmao. i am an outtie and it's asimetrical af. i'm scared he is gonne get turned off if i give in. i would not recover from that lmao. can u pls give me some advice what you would do in my situation? i always admired you for you boldness

oh, non <3 i'll say a couple of things.

first of all, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. i hate this idea that if you're a virgin there's something wrong? sex is super weird and very intimate, and i like the empowerment that comes with talking about sex, but i hate that there's the downside of "oh if you don't you're weird" bc no??? i could give you genuinely a billion different reasons to stay a virgin for the rest of your life and just invest in really good toys lol.

but nothing wrong with it, don't be ashamed of it, don't feel like you have to lie about it or compensate for it in anyways. if a partner says something about it just tell them "i'm really selective so you should be flattered" bc period?? none of their fucking business anyways. and if they make you uncomfy (virgins and sex addicts anyone really) do not have sex with them. you will feel 10000% worse than you did before.

second of all, don't do it with a fwb guy. i know there's this idea that they'll change their mind and want something more and it's exciting. they won't. very rarely do they ever. they'll give you attention bc it's exciting, then when you want more, they'll leave (and that's best case scenario, sometimes they stay in your life for years just to fuck with your mind). especially if he's out in the open like that. don't get attached to that. if you're just having fun talking to him, keep doing that bc you'll never catch me telling anyone not to do that lol. i love to talk to guys and never meet up with them, my specialty.

in my opinion, do what you want, but you should fuck someone you trust especially if it's your first time. and definitely if you're thinking about being kinky? especially if it's your first time, don't do that with some random person who doesn't really care about you.

lastly, and i'm standing by this, no one's changing my mind. i have never met a man alive who gives a fuck about what a pussy looks like when it's right in front of him. the ones that do... they've got a hidden secret and i mean that lmao.

men fuck corpses. men fuck animals. these are all facts. they will fuck warm peanut butter if the going gets rough- sometimes even if it's not rough just bc they want to. i can promise you, i have never once in my life ever had a man who i was sleeping with be like "yeah no thanks" once we started fucking. i was even going to say as long as you're clean, not even shaved (bc again if they care... i've got some news) just washed, but then i was like no not even then. sometimes they prefer it filthy idk- just proves my point.

if they're worth a shit and living in their truth, they don't care. they're going to see pussy and that's all they care about, not what it looks like. promise you. i used to get so insecure bc i get ingrown hairs really bad. i have really sensitive skin and when i shave i always get razor bumps and ingrowns, and i would try everything and nothing worked. i thought they'd see it and be grossed out and guess what? not one fucking complaint lol. i was the only one who cared.

moral of this, don't feel pressured to do anything with anyone. when you feel comfortable, you do it. fuck someone you feel comfortable with and trust me, it's a million times better than just trying to get it over with. not worth all the risks and shit that comes with that.

[chaotic-toby]

I might write this out or I might not, but I just had to type this out bc I will explode if I don't. Please excuse Toby's ramblings.

Okay, so I've mentioned before about how I wanted to write something about Asa Emory's childhood. Like, a collection of one-shots showcasing random thoughts about how his childhood was like. Just random things I think up.

Well, while I was walking to my third period class today, I thought of Asa Emory in high school and how much of a train wreck that would be.

As I've established before, Asa was-- and still is-- a loner. He barely had any friends in school and the few he had seemed to drift away. I'll come back to that later bc I have a whole thing about that.

Asa hated his classmates. I know that when Asa was in school, it was a completely different generation if you're thinking realistically, but this is mainly me projecting (shocker I know it /sarc) so let's just say that his classmates act similar to how high schoolers act in this day and age.

He despises them. I've seen someone headcanon that Asa hates loud noises, and after rewatching The Collector for the sixth time today, I can see it. His classmates were so loud, and everyday, he would come home overstimulated. However, as a kinda shy student, there wasn't much he could do about that, so he just tried to focus on his school work. His teachers LOVED him, though they were also a bit creeped out by him as well, but they tried their best to not judge too much. Though there were some teachers that didn't care and mistreated him but he ignore them.

Asa tried acting like he didn't care that he didn't have close friends, but when he watched people talking to their friends or partners, he would get jealous. He tried dating the few people who surprisingly took an interest in him, but those relationships never lasted long. They were either using him for sex (asexual Asa believer (I literally just thought about that as I am writing this)) or they were using him to seem nice or something. Idk. Eventually, he just gave up trying to date someone, and every time someone asked him out, he either ignored them or rudely declined.

Everytime there was a bug in the classroom, Asa would stop anyone from killing it, pick it up, open the window, and let it free. He never understood why people would get mad at him for that. It was like they wanted to see bug guts splattered on the ground.

Anyways, back to his friends. This is the part I am excited to discuss. So, I've said that Asa didn't have many friends, but he did have one that he considered a close friend at one point. I like to think he had a friend from the 7th grade all the way to the 12th. However, in the 12th grade, the friend started to hang out with another person a lot. At first, Asa didn't mind. He didn't expect his friend to only be friends with him, nor consider him their best friend. However, he soon noticed how everytime they were hanging out, and the friend's friend showed up, the friend would pay more attention to the other person than him. Again, he was fine with it. He was a quiet person anyways, and the main thing he liked to talk about was insects and gory stuff. It was understandable if his friend wanted to hang out with someone normal.

Though, this eventually evolved into his friend, not ignoring him per se, but Asa became the third wheel. Asa wanted to hang out with his friend, but his friend's friend was always there, taking all of his friend's attention. Every time he tried to start a conversation, the other person will interrupt, leaving Asa to just stand there, watching as his friend was noticeably more happier with their new best friend.

At first, he was sad. He's known his friend since the 7th grade, while the newcomer had only known them since the 10th grade. Asa had known them longer, and yet, it was obvious that his friend preferred the other person over him. He didn't cry over it. Of course not, but it did dampen his mood for a while. It led to him skipping breakfast at school just so he wouldn't have to sit beside his friend only to get ignored.

This sadness, however, eventually turned into anger. He had thoughts about killing his friend's friend, knowing full well that he could get away with it. He spent weeks planning it over. Thinking of all the things he could do to them. How he could mutilate them, if he should even keep them in the first place, or if he should put the person somewhere public so that his friend could see; could see the mistake they made. (I wanna say that that was his first ever kill and what started it all).

Welp, that's all I've thought about. None of what I've said is canon, obviously. Just my little headcanons and projecting. I love Asa so much and I wish the Collector movies were more popular :(

[dogstarblues]

had a conversation with friends today about a different conversation regarding my autism that had me thinking i should explore my sex repulsion and really reckon with it.

like in the original conversation i was talking to my friend who agreed that tongue kissing was, to put it gently, off-putting. and i expanded that into the convo of today by musing on the fact that tongue kissing feels like two wet muscles moving against each other. like its always been something i did because a sexual partner liked it. but now that im not romo-partnered and out of a fucked up relationship im like. putting my foot down? i dont have to do that ever again.

and i was thinking abt how i get positivity posts on here abt the animal of the human body and how the grossness of sex should be celebrated and im so happy for everyone but i hate it 😭. i dislike flesh being wet with anything unless its lotion or oil. i dislike being sticky. it feels bad. i dislike being overheated and i dislike touching another person's sweat and i dont even like being touched nonsexually!!!! bad texture terrible sensation. but i spent most of my sexual period just engaging with sweat and stickiness and flesh on flesh and sensation and ignoring my own feelings. because i didnt know i was allowed to be repulsed!!!!!!!!!!!

i think ive been exploring the limits of my sex repulsion with romance novels and ive been discovering i can tolerate it and even find it nice to read when its not. how do you say. when it has little or partial penetrative elements and when its deeply emotional or earthy or just fucking funny. i like reading sex where partners can laugh about how absurd bodies are or when the narrative frames it as funny. and i dont like a lot of fanfic that has sex in it because PWP elements is still PWP. unlike romance novels (even erotic romance and erotica which sex has narrative purpose but i cannot bring myself to read that much sex). sex has a narrative and emotional purpose. im thinking through this. hang on. maybe this is why im not engaging with fanfiction rn. hang on.

in my last relationship with Romantic-Platonic-Best Friend, i began with not being touched and doing the touching on my own terms and when i did allow touch it was limited. and like. i only engaged in sex to be close to her in more ways than emotional, when i wasnt very close to her emotionally bc she kept me at arm's length. but not with sex. so im thinking just how many partners ive had who i performed sex with just to be close when i wasnt given emotional closeness. and now im like. perhaps never again!!!! because i dont know if i want to engage with a relationship again. i have Eternal Roommate Best Friend and i have Spiritual Friend and Body Friend and ND-and-Having-Fun Supportive Friends and i have Childhood Friend and i have Art Friend and so many others and its like. a relief. that i dont have to do anything for them sexually to offer emotional closeness and grace. so its like. im fulfilled. im not begging for love. im not starving? im allowed to feel like its not pleasurable. like even when my body was compelled toward sensation did i like it??? no. no i dont think i did because im good with never having an orgasm again and no matter how hard anyone made my body orgasm i just felt nothing.

like was sex ever emotionally or psychologically pleasurable? i dont think so. maybe, maybe in the future, if i ever have a quasiplatonic relationship again, if i ever have the energy for romantic love again, i could pleasure a partner and not be touched. like i would need to negotiate the partner being a pillow princess or specific places i can be touched like my head or shoulders. but. im not sure. ill emotionally be in a place to derive emotional pleasure from giving sexual pleasure for. a long time. and tbh i dont want to be.

so im trying to detangle how my relationship with sex evolved from lack of emotional nutrience. much 2 think abt.

[aroaceconfessions]

so, at 21, i’m finally allowing myself to accept that i’m aroace, i denied it for a long time out of 1) being scared of others viewing me as too ugly/stupid/unloveable to be with someone and 2) the fear of being alone for the rest of my life. i feel like my journey to realizing i’m aroace is both very similar yet very different from what much of the community experienced. growing up, i had crushes, i was curious about sex, i have a high libido at times (which can make me have sexual attraction, sort of?), and i’m not afraid of being sexual on my own. however, whenever someone had a crush on me, i felt deeply disgusted and uncomfortable and avoided them as much as possible. it got so bad that i’ve just always been perpetually afraid of nearly everyone in life was going to develop feelings for me, which made me feel so self-centered, but i’m just. not into that. i had a partner for 3+ years and the only reason we dated was because he was persistent (not in a creepy way), but i saw the cues that he liked me and tried to avoid him so hard til i was just like. well this is what i’m supposed to do. and he was my best friend the whole time but i didn’t want to do 99% of the things we did relationship-wise. for much of the relationship i would fantasize about being single, thinking it was bc i didn’t want to “miss out on being young,” and would have sex like it was a (nausea-inducing) chore. i didn’t know why i didn’t feel what i was supposed to feel and i just felt empty and sad all the time. we broke up bc i thought i was a lesbian (i still consider myself to be lesbian-aligned) but i’m slowly realizing that it’s just somewhat less uncomfortable w non-men, but those “erratic” periods of frustration w my lack of romantic/sexual attraction didn’t go away after we broke up. i’m trying so hard to embrace this part of myself but i feel like something is missing simply bc i thought i had those attractions my whole life til i found out that’s not what it actually feels like. i just want to have a person…like a best friend? who doesn’t want to have sex with me or be my romantic partner but just. does life with me. but i haven’t met anyone who truly gets me to that level that i’d want that with them. it’s frustrating because i love being alone and i love my friends so so much, i wanna be able to cuddle and be touchy with them w/out it being non-platonic. but i know either way, they’ll move on in life w a partner and get married and i’ll be left alone in a world that’s already terrifying to me. i have so much love and support for the aroace community but i hate this part of myself. i don’t want it gone anymore at least, i just want to stop hating it. anyway, i am so sorry this was so long, i’ve never even admitted this to myself over text. thank you for existing :)

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

NSFW alphabet for Liam dunbar

also:

pairing: liam dunbar (18+) x fem!reader

warnings: smut → nsfw alphabet

headcanon 🖤

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requests are open🖤

request guidelines✨

🌻masterlist🌻

smut night masterlist 💦

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

liam would so fucking use his healing powers on you!!

he'd hate to see you in pain, so when both of you catch your breaths, he'd hold your hand in his and heal you

you'd always reassure that you didn't need him to do it. But sometimes when you look down and watch the blackness in his veins soaking up your pain and uncomfortableness, you're thankful that he did it

liam would be the type to go for walks with you (if you're feeling up for it)

sometimes the fresh air can calm you down, especially after powerful and strong orgasms

he'd make you food!! thoug don't expect much

im speaking stuff like toast, microwave meals lmao

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

ass

lmao liam is such an ass guy ahaha

he'd love spanking your ass, kneading it or just holding your ass while he fucks you

bonus points for when you ride him!!

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

liam would make it his mission to make you cum

he knows that sex doesn't always have to end in cumming, but my god, he would do all the tricks in the book to have you cumming for him

it's something about the pride he feels to have you cum for him and from all the things he's doing to you

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

seeing you in his clothes would make him 🥵

like you just in his shirt and nothing else

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

not much at all lmao

the only other person he's slept with before you was hayden, but even then, that was one time

so both of you would be experimenting with each other, trying to find what you both like and don't like

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

would love the spooning position lmao - especially for cock warming lmao

missionary too

having you bent over the couch or the kitchen bench would be such a turn on for him too oh my-

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

ahh yes omg! like have you met him?

liam's a little puppy and being able to still make you laugh in such an intimate moment would be something that he loves

i think he'd be more serious if kinks are involved bc his main priority is you and making sure that you're safe and not in pain

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

i'd like to think he'd make an effort, but i feel like he'd forget sometimes??

or be too proud that he can grow hair ya know lol

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

super soft and cute!!

Liam would have a thing for holding hands while you guys fucked

and like i said before, his number 1 priority is you and making sure that you're getting all the pleasure you deserve

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

liam would masturbate occasionally, but not always

would usually be when he can't be with you - whether he's at college or if you're at work

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise

mommy

knife / claw kink lmao

would be a switch - like would love being a cute little subby boy for you lol

would be both a brat and a brat tamer

would also love experimenting with toys

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

his college dorm room

his bedroom - his parents are at work a lot, so you'd get the house to yourself for most of the day

shower and/or bath

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

SEEING YOU IN HIS JERSEY (both his high school and college)

obviously when you tease him

would secretly love when you're a brat

when you take care of him - especially during the full moon and you're just cuddling him, praising and stroking his hair

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

nothing too harsh in terms of kinks (eg. heavy bdsm)

anything that generally weirds him out (not kink shaming, just saying)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

would be such a receiver though omg

like he's a giver, don't get me wrong

but there's something about the way your lips wrap around him, mouth sucking him so good

but when he eats you out, he'll do it as if he hasn't eaten in days lol

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends lmao

he can be both though - like fast and rough but would periodically slow down to hold your hands and kiss you all over until you're begging him to pound you again

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

lmao yes, especially before a Pack meeting

OMG OMGOMGOM

can you imagine being locked in a small closet with him bc you're hiding from a monster and he gets a fucking boner hahahah

if course you wouldn't fuck while trying to hide but it would just be so funny

and you'd tease him by shifting around and in the process would rub your ass against his crotch

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

experimenting is a must for liam

being still new to the sex world, he'd like to figure out what he likes and doesn't like (as do you of course)

as for taking risks???? i'd say no

unless it's something that you really want to try, but other than that, not really.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

honestly i think it depends

like if it's been a long week (especially the week of the full moon), maybe 1 round??

but sometimes can go for muliple rounds

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

would experiment with vibrators and light bondage but i can't see anything else beyond that tbh

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

hahah yes would 100% love teasing you

like i said before, he'd be a brat / brat tamer

while he's the brat tamer, he'd punish you by teasing you

this can be done through edging / orgasm denial, overstimulation, fucking you until you're have to tell him to stop bc it's too much

when using a vibrator, he'd love to hold it just above your folds but close enough for you to feel it

he'd have you whining, rolling your hips towards the toy to get it to make contact with your clit - literally anything to make him pleasure you with it lol

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

liam would be one whiney bitch omg

he's be more of moans than grunts - grunting would be if he was punishing you by pounding into you

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

would be a sucker for dirty talk oh my god

to hear you praise him, or have him praise you

say how good you feel around him

or to even tease you in public by saying all the things he'd love to do to you

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

muscley (obviously)

i think he'd be about average in cock size lol

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

that bby boy is a horny puppy i swear

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

pretty quickly tbh

poor bby would be so worn out lol

but i mean that would be after the aftercare lmao

like liam would never be the type to fuck then roll over and go to sleep ahah

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[silkgonerough]

Astro Observations/rants #2 (mostly regarding sun signs and how men are trash🌞)

😑 Sagittarius men always seem to have personalities or like beliefs or are just assholes tbh that don’t fit and or stray away from other ppls ideals/moral codes where if anyone else did them they’d be looked down up yet they’re always given a green card and usually still loved and accepted despite it?? Like I swear a sag man could murder someone and still be supported and accepted by everyone...Oh wait... THAT ALREADY HAPPENED (Ted bundy🤪)

👯‍♂️on the opposite side tho.. a Gemini man.. could absolutely never😬 gemini guys are some of the most controversial ppl I know. Ppl either love or hate them to death and every action they make can change these feeling towards them at the drop of the hat and their actions are usually a fucking mess. They could be 100% innocent in a murder case and ppl would still be making theories on how their the killer (me included sns)

🥺This may just be me but I feel like the sign that I encounter/get to know the least are cancers? It’s weird tho bc I know a good amount of ppl from each sign but cancers are like so scarce in my life it’s sad! The ones I have met are rlly nice and usually super hot (there’s something about a cancer man🙏)

😍Going off of that let’s not lie everyone’s been a little bit of a slut for a Cancer or Capricorn man at one point or another (this includes fictional characters as well ppl👀) like I’ve seen a trend in guys who gain a lot of attention for their looks/overall demeanor (bc they’re usually rlly hot) being one of the two!! In my high school hands down two of the hottest guys to ever walk into that building were a Cancer and a Capricorn and their duality together was too powerful (they were besties😭🙏). I’ll never forget. Also to be clear here I’m just talking about them looks wise, personality of both is usually an absolute trainwreck :))

👑People love to label Leo’s as the queen bees but a Scorpio or Virgo could easily give them a run for their money. Both are usually super charming and ppl tend to get behind them pretty easily but get on their bad side and yikesss... expect everyone they come into contact with to know your business🤭

🤷‍♀️I’ve noticed a lot of Sagittarius sun and Aquarius sun girls have had a “I’m one of the boys” phase at one point or another? It’s never intentional either like both signs just seem to get along with the opposite sex pretty well in a platonic way. And like most of them have either had a lot of guy friends or hung out with a group of guys casually for a long period of time until things got super weird ofc but like it’s just easy for them to get along with males I guess?? This may be kind of a random observation but it’s something I’ve always noticed and I myself am a Sagittarius and have gotten a taste of how it felt to be “one of the boys” and I almost died of boredom.

🤭I don’t what you guys are talking about when saying Scorpios will take your secrets to the grave maybe for the other placements but the suns are not doing all that... every Scorpio sun I’ve been with has spilled everyone’s tea in the first 10 minutes of us talking but SOMEHOW EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING THEM STUFF

👰‍♀️Libra sun woman are usually quite diplomatic and stubborn in sticking to their moral highground but I’ve noticed that when it comes to relationships their kind of pushovers and they allow certain behaviors to slide that they wouldn’t in other ppl :/ I think it’s mostly because they see their partners in really high regards bc they specifically chose that person to be with (and that’s a big deal Libras are not an anybody type of bitch when it comes to actually settling) so they probably don’t want to come to terms that who they chose is not actually that great of a person,, also I think a lot of libras have a fear of being alone in general so it makes it harder for them to cut something off ;(

🙄Going off of that libra sun/moon men are usually not all their cracked up to be. Libra guys can have a very scary shift in who they present to the world vs who they really are.. I’ve experienced it myself and it was horrible to say the least, they’re charm really does help them get out of anything smh

🐟Last but not least Pisces, Virgo, and Gemini sun men YALL NEED TO EITHER STEP IT TF UP OR MOVE TF OUT OF THE WAY we’re tired😭😭😭😭

[oogaboogasphincter]

Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn (Ezra x f!reader)

Summary: Staying in a hotel on Puggart Bench while in between expeditions has given you and Ezra a lot of time to develop your relationship both emotionally and physically. On your last night before you depart for your next trip together, you decide to try out one of Ezra’s kinks. Your heartstrings aren’t the only things that will be getting tied up this evening. 

Word Count: 6.8k+

Rating: E (explicit) 18+ ONLY! because this is like 80% smut

Warnings: mild allusion to a rocky relationship from this oneshot (both partners have made up and are now in an established relationship), smut, soft-ish bondage (f gets tied up), oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (obvi use protection irl please), dirty talk, swearing, a hand on a throat but no choking, one (1) instance of ✨spitting✨, questionable kink shaming??💀(a joke is made about daddy kinks), comma splice, atrocious metaphor and repetitive sentence structure galore. also no beta reader, and reader uses she/her pronouns and is afab. 

Author’s Note: this is my first smut fic! i really appreciated all of the positive feedback that i got on my first fic (💚), so i thought i would do a smutty follow-up to it! if you haven’t read it and you’d like to, you can read it here. i tried my best to make this fic readable as a standalone oneshot though, so if you’d like to do that, that’s cool too! :) i think the only things new readers need to know are that Ezra’s nickname for the reader is Goose, and The Blue is a moon, like The Green, that Ezra, Cee and the reader traveled to in my last fic. also i reference the traffic light system a lot more in this fic than i have personally read in other fics, just because i feel like it’s a great way of checking in on your partner during sex. i know it might get a lil annoying after a while, but i think it’s important to keep it up. i also wanted to include it in my first fic bc even though i might not use it explicitly in my next fics, i want it to be understood that I think it’s super important to continue to check on your partner, etc. also i apologize if the smut isn’t “realistic”, as your writer is 100% a virgin skjfskdj💀 i don’t think that means that i don't know/can't learn how to write some smut though! however i would just keep that in mind💀, and i hope you enjoy it! :)🍀💜

p.s. i'd like to say thank you to @martinsmomo​ one more time for giving me the amazing request for my first fic! 💕

gif by @skyshipper

“Go to the bedroom, strip to your underwear and wait for me.”

The patch job of your relationship with Ezra on The Blue was a success. Spending an equal amount of time with him alone, alone with Cee and as a trio boosted your strength as a group. The awkward silences and argumentative expeditions around The Blue were no more, and were replaced with friendly banter and jovial hikes. You and Ezra had made up so much that you had started to express your affection for one another physically. 

On every third day or so, Cee would go out on a trip alone, needing some time to herself. It wasn’t that she couldn’t stand the two of you - although you and Ezra occasionally found joy in pushing her buttons - but she enjoyed doing activities by herself. It made her feel like she was fortifying her transition from teenager to young adult. You and Ezra couldn’t have agreed more and supported her independent decisions. 

And on every third day or so, her absence from the pod allowed your courage to physically engage with Ezra to grow. The two of you had kept it to a minimum, not wanting Cee to notice any blushing cheeks or sweaty foreheads or panting chests when she would return. The majority of your time was spent just cuddling in positions that were a little too sexually charged to be considered platonic: a leg wound around a waist here, a hand gripping an ass there. The heaviest moment you had had was during a makeout session. 

While lying down in Ezra’s makeshift bed and mingling tastebuds, you had hiked one of your legs up and over his hips. Soon after, you felt the tip of his cock poke the underside of your thigh. He couldn’t have been harder. You dared to relieve some of his pent up arousal while still maintaining some semblance of innocence and released your grip on his hair, slid your hand down his broad chest and slipped it underneath your leg to get to his erection. You held it and ran your fingers over the tip of it, then along its length, hoping to get a good idea of what your pussy would have to take on at some later time. The moment Ezra felt the light weight of your hand, he moaned deeply into your mouth. He had then broken your kiss and warned, “Goose, in all seriousness, you should highly consider concluding your investigation unless you want to throw me into a pit of agonizing embarrassment.”

You teased, his clothed cock still in hand, “Ezra, I think we should stick to swallowing each other’s tongues and not speaking in them.” 

He had hummed in delight and grinned at you, then sighed, “Okay then, in your plebeian lingo: if you don’t stop rubbing my cock, I’ll cum in my pants.”

You both erupted in laughter, and you had snaked your hands back up his body and entangled them in his hair, taking his tongue in your mouth once again. 

After your departure from The Blue, your gang had decided to stop on Puggart Bench and decompress for a while. Cee wanted to hang out with her friends before they all went their separate ways in their new adult lives, Ezra wanted to repay the loan he had taken out for his prosthetic arm and you wanted a real bed to sleep in. Not a pilot’s chair, not a bundle of blankets on a metal floor, but a real bed. With a mattress, a comforter, a nice set of sheets, a plethora of blankets and pillows. A two bedroom suite in Puggart Bench’s most prestigious hotel was what the three of you had booked for two months before another orbiting moon made its way into the Bakhroma System for the three of you to explore. Your group had engaged in some nice, familial-like activities, nourishing your found family dynamic. 

You and Ezra had also spent quite a bit of time getting to know each other physically. While Cee would spend the day with her friends, you and Ezra never left your bed. Well, technically Ezra left the bed when he would stand, pull you to the very edge of it and subsequently use his newfound balance to pound into you with abandon. Your body hadn’t left the sheets, even when you knelt on the floor and took Ezra down your throat; your back pushed against the side of the mattress with every one of his thrusts. 

Fast forward to the present day, and it is the last day you are on Puggart Bench before you leave for The Indigo, the new moon in town. Cee is spending the night at her friend’s house, where she will be having one last sleepover with all of the girls she won’t have the chance to connect with for an undetermined period of time. You feel guilty for looking forward to her leaving because you can only imagine what your bedroom will see of you and Ezra tonight. 

While he washed your hair after a particularly exertive romp, Ezra had hinted that he had a kink that he wanted to try out with you. Without a definite return date from The Indigo, he offered that the two of you try it before you left for the moon, his desires getting the best of him. He never elaborated on what the kink is, as the both of you got entranced with washing the rest of your bodies. You plan on bringing it up tonight in the hopes of coming to a decision of whether or not you two have the patience to wait to test it out or not. 

The two of you are now putting on a facade of patience as Cee packs her things in her room. You sit in between Ezra’s legs on the couch, back to his torso, both of you reading a different book. The text fails to retain your attention, so you place a finger on the page you are on and fold it over. You shift your head against Ezra’s chest to look up at him, pupils dilating immediately as they take him in. Black thick-rimmed reading glasses grace his face, the only indication in his rugged appearance that he would be a bookworm. He glances down from his book to meet your eyes, smiling at you. He brings his right hand down, brushing the back of the dark grey metal against your cheek. You smile back at him, and a naughty thought pops into your brain. 

With your free hand, you find Ezra’s cock in an instant and palm it through his pants. His mouth drops in blissful surprise, but he’s quick to sit up and yank your hand away from his now hard dick. He snaps out a whisper, “Patience, Goose,” and places a light kiss to your temple. He gets up and walks away, afraid that you would just try to place your hand right back where it was. He was also afraid that he wouldn’t have the strength to stop you the next time. 

Suitcase clips clap from Cee’s bedroom, and moments later she walks into the living room. You look up at her from the back of the couch: still pouting that Ezra shooed you away, and he looks up at her too, standing behind the kitchen counter: hiding his erection. You both fight through your mutual embarrassment and smile at her, noticing her excitement. She beams at the two of you, suitcase in hand, and raises her shoulders, “Well, I’m going to go now.” 

She starts to walk to the door and Ezra follows her, putting a hand on her shoulder, “Have a good time, Sparrow. We’ll swing by and scoop you up tomorrow afternoon.” 

Cee smiles up at him, “Will do.” 

Ezra retracts his hand and puts both in his pockets, “We hate to bar you from seeing your friends and leading a more stable life, but we really do find solace in your company on our travels. It keeps us grounded, as much as one can be on an orbiting moon.” 

She turns so that she faces both of you, “No, that’s okay. I really enjoy being with you guys. You’re like a family that I got to pick.”

Tears threaten to run down your cheeks as you get up and rush over to her to give her a tight hug. She returns your embrace and Ezra follows shortly behind, encasing both of you in his arms. He draws giggles from his girls by placing a kiss on each of your heads, and after a moment of relishing in your found family, you all release one another. Cee says her final goodbyes, opens the door and closes it behind her, giving you and Ezra one last final smile of departure. 

You feel ashamed by the amount of heat that floods your genitals as soon as you hear the lock of the door click closed. Ezra, ever sensitive to your every mood change, pulls you in close and presses his forehead to yours, “You know we have to wait, Goose.” You nod, all too familiar with your routine once Cee left. You would wait and listen for her to walk down the hallway to the elevators, press the down button, wait for the doors to open, walk inside the chamber once it arrived, wait for the doors to close and finally start to descend to the ground floor. You did so out of respect for her; you and Ezra would never be able to forgive yourselves if she were to, for example, forget something and come back to find the two of you in the middle of some heated relations. 

Ezra’s fingers massage your shoulder blades as you anticipate the sound of the elevator opening, fully aware that he was not only dissipating any nerves you have but spurring your arousal on as well. He knows that thoughts of his fingers traveling elsewhere swarm your brain as he alternates the pressure his fingertips give you. With this knowledge, unbeknownst to you, he’s thinking about what his first order for you will be tonight. Would he introduce the kink that he alluded to the other day? Does he just want a night of repeating your default, mind-blowing agenda? How would you feel about reversing roles, and have you be his dominant and him your submissive? 

The ping of the elevator down the hall snaps him out of his trance. You eagerly await the whir of the elevator going down, and seconds later your wish is granted. Ezra lets go of you and steps back, eyes raking up and down your body twice before telling you, “Go to the bedroom, strip to your underwear and wait for me.” Such straightforward instructions to come from such an elaborate man. Ezra doesn’t waste a second in giving you seductive orders the moment he hears the elevator descending, his hunger to devour you reaching unbearable levels. With your appetite consisting of the same ferocity, you follow his instructions and go to your bedroom. Plopping onto the bed and laying on your back, you kick your shoes off, shimmy out of your pants and slide your shirt up and over your head, tossing the items to the chair in the corner of the room where you and Ezra kept your clothes. You found it humorous that he, like you, implemented the “chair of discarded clothing” into his life. 

Now in just your underwear and socks (Ezra had relayed to you that it is statistically easier to orgasm while wearing socks), you reach over into the nightstand and pull out a necktie. You had been rewarded with such powerful orgasms at the hands of Ezra - literally - that you often couldn’t hold in your cries no matter how hard you tried. The necktie’s usual resting place was in between your teeth, tied around your mouth in an effort to muffle yourself out of courtesy of your neighbors. Ezra’s mouth remained ungagged; the neighbors must’ve thought that he was trying out some new rigorous exercise regime with all of those heaves, grunts and... moans? What sort of move would cause his headboard to repeatedly knock on the wall? 

You sit and rub your thumbs on the buttersoft navy silk of the tie, patiently awaiting Ezra’s entrance into the room and later your cunt. A few moments later he comes in and shuts and locks the door behind him, an emergency precaution to protect the eyes of Cee or any intruding employee. He comes over and takes a seat on the edge of the bed. You glide over to him like a magnet and figure out a part of his kink after taking a quick glance into his hands, seeing that he’s holding rope. Black rope, to be exact, of varying lengths. He notices your quizzical brow and asks, “Spill your thoughts, Goose.” You gingerly reach out and touch the rope with your index finger, your vision moving in loops as you trace the coils. You look up and meet his eyes, those warm, curious, assuring windows to his soul that you love ever so dearly. You question, “Do you like to be tied up or do you want to tie me up?” 

He displays a faint smile, “I’d find great satisfaction in tying you up. However, I would be a liar if I claimed that the thought of you restraining me and having your way with me never joyfully crossed my mind.”

You sit there in silence, taking in his desires. You are most definitely up for this, you just approach every new romp with hesitation. You hadn’t been a virgin the first time you slept with Ezra, but no one had ever made you feel so good. So open, exposed, on display, in all the right ways. You had been set ablaze by his confident maneuvers, calmed ever so coolly by his doting ministrations. He had drowned you in his passionate love, and you had loved every single fucking second of it. It just got a bit overwhelming at times, which he would take notice of and promptly give you your time and space when you needed it. 

The rope intimidates you. It was smooth to the touch on the pad of your finger, but you could already imagine the uncomfortable burns it could give you. The tightness and thickness of the coils add to the fantasy of being completely immovable, but it also plants doubts in your mind. You voice your concerns to Ezra, “I’d love for you to tie me up, but I don’t think I’d like to start with rope.”

He cups your cheek lovingly, “Always one step ahead of me, Goose,” and picks up an end of the necktie in your lap. He rubs it with you, “I don’t want to start with the rope on you, either. I want us to work up to it.” He pats your cheek and holds up the rope in his hands, “I mean, it does look a little scary, doesn’t it?” Your newfound ease lets itself out of your lungs with a giggle, mirrored by Ezra. He turns and puts the rope on the seat at the foot of your bed, and you climb into his lap as he turns back around and cover his mouth with yours. Falling back onto the bed, his arms wrap around you like a snake and constrict you to his body. You grind your pussy onto his clothed torso, desperate for some friction, your soft moans tumbling down his throat. 

He has to pull you away from his mouth by the back of your neck, “Let me take my clothes off, sweet girl.” He gives you a chaste kiss before you roll off of him and let him stand to strip. As he gets naked, you remove your panties in a flash, and he quizzes you, “Color system?”

“Green for when I’m enjoying it, yellow for when I’m being pushed to my limits, red for when I’ve reached my limit and need you to stop.” 

“Good girl. What’s our safe word?”

“Magpie.”

“Excellent. Are you ready?” he asks as he pulls his underwear down and repeats your earlier action of throwing the discarded clothes onto the chair in the corner. 

You nod fervently, “Yes sir.” 

He sighs as he walks over to the edge of the bed and kneels, “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Goose, you don’t have to call me that. I feel fulfilled enough in my domination with the heavenly noises your precious body emits.” 

You shrug, “It’s just natural. It’s a good girl formality, Ez. Aren’t I a good girl?”

He raises an eyebrow as he hooks his hands behind your knees and pulls your legs over the bed so you’re sitting on the edge, “I don’t think good girls let their neediness get the best of them and just fondle cocks out in the open.” You let out a devious laugh, noting his reference to your sneak attack on the couch, and he takes the necktie from you.  Your fingers run through his hair for a moment before he gently takes your wrists, smiling up at you. 

He reaches up to kiss you, and after your lips part he mumbles against them, “I’m just going to tie your hands together now, okay?” 

You nod, “Okay.” 

He gives you another wholehearted kiss before sitting back on his feet, beginning to tie your wrists to one another. You admit, although it’s incredibly arousing to watch his thick fingers twirl the smooth fabric into a knot, you grow a little bit anxious at the loss of movement. He can read it on your face after he finishes the knot, “I want you to lay back while I eat you out. I tied your hands in front of you so that you can pinch me if you want me to stop but can’t find your words.” You nod, appreciating the simplicity of his instructions. 

“I need you to use your words now, Goose.”

“Okay,” you reiterate, “Safe word is magpie. I can pinch you if I can’t say it.”

He nods, “Good girl,” and eases you onto your back. As he’s moving down your body to your core, something dawns on you, “Wait a minute.”

Ezra pauses and looks up at you with a caring expression, “What?”

“How am I supposed to stay quiet with the tie on my wrists and not in my mouth?”

He answers simplistically with a smirk, “Don't.”

You laugh, “What about the neighbors?”

“Fuck them. They should be grateful that tonight they will be an audience to one of the most beautiful symphonies that has ever been composed. And I’m not stepping foot off of this planet until I’ve heard my good girl’s clear, unabashed screams.” 

A rush of hot air leaves your mouth, enticing Ezra to come back up and push it back into you with his tongue. A moment of clashing teeth later, he retreats back down to your core and lightly knocks your legs apart. You shift your gaze downward to find him admiring your cunt, his left hand capturing his dick and pumping it a few times. He leans forward, presses a kiss to your inner thigh and then runs his sharp nose over the spot, up your leg, across your hip and back down to your wetness and inhales deeply. You can’t help but laugh at his display of rapture, his sniffing audible. He threatens you in disbelief, “My indulgence amuses you, Goose?” 

You meet his eyes with yours, twinkling with mischief, “Yeah, kind of.” 

He puts his tongue in his cheek and shakes his head, “Goose, you are being a bit of a brat.” He pushes your knees to your chest, his hands on the backs of your thighs, keeping them in place, “And you should know by now how much I love taming my little brat.” 

You are very aware of how much he enjoys brat taming, hence your acting up. His tongue licks a wide stripe up your core and a gasp escapes your mouth. He moans into you, sending vibrations through your cunt and shivers up your spine. He buries his tongue in you, his lips fornicating with your southern set, his fingers gripping your soft flesh tightly. Your anticipation of this moment has made your cunt oversensitive, so every little tickle of Ezra’s facial hair, every small movement of his warm tongue, every faint nudge of his nose and chin against your vulva makes you moan loudly. The pattern that his tongue is following suddenly picks up speed and your body involuntarily adjusts to it. Your hips buck up into his mouth, your clit weeping to be drenched in his saliva. Your tied hands lower until your fingertips are able to find his hair and intertwine with the thick brunette strands. The stability that gripping onto his hair gives you makes you hyperaware of just how close you are to cumming already. You whimper, “Ezra, please.”

This tone of your voice has been permanently ingrained in his mind thanks to your daily fucks over the past couple months. If the tightening of your hamstrings isn’t a large enough hint to him that you are close, your breathlessness is a blatant clue. He releases you from his mouth, lines of spit keeping the two of you connected, “That’s my girl, come on.” His egging on is more than you need to be shoved into your orgasm. As his tongue returns to lap at your clit, your neck arches up and your eyes roll into the back of your head. A groan rips through your throat that drowns out his muffled moans, his mouth working you through your orgasm. Your sharp intakes of air start to stagger out as your heart begins to calm down, your cunt pulsing with aftershocks. Ezra reluctantly removes his mouth from you, wetting your inner thigh with a line of his spit and your slick before pressing a kiss to the same spot he kissed earlier. The blackness of his pupils overtakes his chocolatey irises when he catches your eyes, dopamine flooding his nervous system. 

He presents his wrist, does some math on an imaginary watch and jokes, “That must’ve been a record, Goose.” You giggle and pull your hands up to your mouth, trying to hide your embarrassed smile. He reaches up and pulls your hands back down to tangle your fingers in his cowlicks, “But my desire to drink pools of your cum has not yet been satiated.” 

You swear under your breath as he dips his head back in between your legs, your voice catching in your throat when his hot breath cascades over your folds. This time, instead of licking stripes and lapping, he opts to draw shapes and trace circles against you. It sounds stupid, but man does it feel fucking good. Before you lose all self control, you give his scalp a massage, the best one you can muster with conjoined hands, as a way of telling him I love you. Simultaneously, he switches his tongue’s clockwise motion to counterclockwise and hooks his hands around the tops of your thighs, pulling you deeper into his mouth so he can devour you even more thoroughly than he already was. You brush his hair off of his sweaty forehead with your knuckles, seeing that his eyes are closed and brows are furrowed in concentration. He’s been moaning this entire time into you, blissfully lost in the heaven that is your pussy, and as his tongue picks up its pace the vocal vibrations boost your toward your release. You beg of him, “Please don’t stop.” 

He doesn’t stop. In fact, he heightens your arousal one step further than you thought possible. He notes your utter wetness and decides to fill your wanting hole by snaking his left hand down to your entrance and slipping two fingers inside you. A heated orgasm pumps through your every artery just like Ezra’s fingers are pumping in and out of your cunt, his tongue keeping a delicious pace. After your body is done convulsing with pleasure, he moves up it and stops in front of your face. 

“Open.” 

You are all too familiar with this command and obey. Ezra spits a combination of your cum and his saliva into your mouth. He presses a hand to the underside of your jaw and you close your mouth. 

“Swallow.” 

You do as he says while he keeps his hand against your neck, feeling his love concoction make its way down your throat. He groans and gives you a quick kiss before asking, “Color?” You smile and bring your hands up to scratch at his scruff, “Green. You?”

“Green.” 

Pulling your body tight against his, he hauls the two of you to the middle of the bed. He sits up and back atop your hips, pulls your hands closer to him and begins to untie your wrists. Your eyes can’t help but fixate on his hard dick, standing erect in front of you, as he speaks, “Now Goose, once you’re untied I want you to get on all fours for me,” he notices your distraction, “and if you try to pull any shenanigans, there will be consequences.” You shift your gaze up to his eyes and you swear that there’s a deep sparkle in them that is daring you, begging you, to disobey him. He liked to punish you as much as you liked to be punished by him. So, once untied, you throw him a curveball and take his orders, flipping over and propping yourself up on your hands and knees. You look over your shoulder at him to see that his face is mangled in baffled confusion, making you laugh, “What?” 

He mounts your ass and teases your entrance with his cock, “If you had attempted to grab what your eyes were drooling over, I would’ve spanked you.” 

“But I didn’t.”

He leans over your back and places his hands on either side of yours, “I wanted to spank you.” 

“I know. But I’m not a naughty girl.”

He raises his eyebrows and chuffs out disbelief, “Maybe if you continue to tell yourself that delusion, you can convince yourself that it’s true. But there’s no fooling me. I know my girl is infatuated with misbehaving in order to spite me,” he stuffs his cock inside your pussy, “Isn't that true?” He lifts his left hand to wrap his fingers around the arched column of your throat, forcing you to look up at him. 

You dismantle his lie, “I don’t do it to spite you, I do it to delight you.” 

He pulls his hips away from yours in order to prepare for a thrust and hums, “That’s one reason why I love you, Goose. You see right through me.” 

The two of you groan in unison as he fucks forward and bottoms out inside you. As he establishes a steady pace, your quivering fingers find purchase on his wrist. Even though you had slept together a countless number of times in the past two months, his girthy penetration still overwhelmed you at first, and you benefitted from at least a few seconds of adjusting. He knew this and was why he untied you; his brutal rhythm coupled with the binding of the tie would be too much for you without a little warming up. While he’s stretching you out, he murmurs encouragements into your hair, “That’s it, just like that... You’re taking my cock so well... Good girl.” 

After your muscles relax, he asks, “Color?”

“Couldn’t be greener. You?”

He grins at your response, “Green.” 

He gives your cheek a kiss before proposing his next instruction, “Why don’t you be a good girl and lay down and put your arms behind your back?”

He pauses his thrusts as you lean forward and press your cheek against the sheets. You turn to ask him just how he wants you to move, and he reads your mind, “Touch the pits of your elbows.” You twist your forearms behind your back until they are pressed against each other and the tips of one hand’s fingers graze the opposite side’s elbow. He snakes the silky tie in between your spine and wrists, the fabric gliding easily over your sweaty skin. He ties your wrists together again, this time much looser than before. He color checks you when he finishes the knot. You wiggle your arms, the amount of resistance being just right, “Green.” He hums in enjoyment and runs his fingertips down the backs of your arms, sending a pleasant shudder through you. 

Lining himself up, he places a steadying right hand on your lower back. The contrast of the cool metal of his prosthetic limb to the fire that barrels through you once he pushes himself back into your hole is divine. Both textures of his hands slip against your skin as they try to find a solid grip on your hips in order to allow him to begin pounding into you. Your whimpering spurs him on, and once he’s able to to lock you into place you both swear under your breath in anticipation. As he embarks on his ferocious rhythm, an orgasm takes you by surprise. 

Well, not really by surprise, because Ezra has proven time and time again that he can coax you to cum at a moment’s notice. 

Out of courteous instinct, you bury your face into the bed to muffle your cries of ecstasy. Ezra turns your face to the side and tuts, “Uh-uh, Goose, I need to hear you this time, remember?” 

You can barely him him, let alone understand him, while an astronomical burst of white oxytocin smothers your poor body. Unable to gain control of your composure to stop yourself, you indulge Ezra and let your screams fill the bedroom. The numbness of your mind fades away, effects of your orgasm bringing feeling back to you: the hot tears that spot your bottom lashline, the sweet soreness that the tensing of your muscles left you, the sweat that gathers in the line of your spine, the aroused slick that coats your inner thighs. 

You pant as Ezra unties you, “Good girl. Flip over and face me,” and he tenderly places your forearms to your sides. 

You’re exhausted. You can most definitely take more of his loving, but you need him to do the work, “I can’t.” 

He rolls you over onto your back, his muscular arms giving you the comfort you need to go on. A frantic, worried expression takes over his face, “You okay? Still green? I didn’t push you too far, did I? Was the tie too tight? Did I-” 

You shut him up with a kiss. You reassure him, “Yes, still green. Just fucking tired.” 

You both laugh, and he asks, “Do you want to stop?” 

You shake your head no, “I’m not sure if the neighbors heard all of that scream. I think they need another one.” 

Your dirty talk contorts his mouth into a grin of sly allure as he gets up off the bed, “I concur.” He opens a drawer of the nightstand and takes out another necktie, this one made of black wool. He gets back on the bed and says, “Let’s give them a musical to remember.” 

You snicker as he pushes both of you farther up the bed, giving you more room to mess about in. He places the second tie next to the blue one and a hand on each of your ankles, “What this next position requires in flexibility it will pay for infinitely in pleasure for you and I both, okay, Goose?” 

Your wariness is excited, “Okay?” 

He pulls your legs together and picks up the blue tie. He wraps the fabric around both ankles, beginning to tie them together, but pauses and interjects, meeting your eyes, “You’re okay with me tying you here, right?” 

You smile at his concern and mock, “Ezra, you could tie me any way you’d like and I’ll be more than happy.” 

His nose crinkles in satisfaction and he resumes tying you up. After he’s done, he pushes your thighs to your chest, bending your knees so your feet are in the air. You can’t stop the laughter that erupts from you, “Ez, what in the Bakhroma System are you scheming?” 

He gives you a wickedly teasing laugh back, “A fun time, Goose.” 

He momentarily cups your face with his left hand, “If at any point it gets too much, for whatever reason, just say the word and I’ll stop everything.” 

You take his hand and kiss his palm, “Okay.” 

He smiles, boops your nose with his thumb and pulls your arms so that they rest in the pit of your upside down knees. He picks up the black tie and does a different knot on your arms than he had done previously. He puts the binding on them higher up, which makes you hold your legs up, keeping your cunt on display for him. The wool of the tie scratches where the silk had soothed you, but you savor the friction. Ezra wastes no time in entering you again, plunging his cock deep into your fluttering walls. You brace your forehead against your shins, panting wildly. With every thrust, he hits something deep and sensitive in you, but you know you could make the experience more intense for the both of you. 

“Ez?” 

“Yeah?”

“Can you look at me?” He angles himself so he can look around your legs and meet your eyes. As you are projected into the depths of his eyes, engulfed by the lust-blown ink of his pupils, enhanced by the dark coffee that surrounds them, an “I love you” slips out of your lips. 

He compresses your body further by leaning down and capturing your mouth, “I love you too.” 

When he pulls back and his hands find the backs of your thighs, he asks for a color check. You answer green, giving him permission to ravage you. He does just that, putting every ounce of his might behind his thrusts, eliciting growls of the same magnitude from you both. The gradual construction of an orgasm starts to warm your body, your moans getting louder and louder with each passing second. In an effort to put it off, you bite down hard on your lip. Ezra notices, running a thumb across your lipline, “Goose, please, allow me to be privy to your every stuttered breath.”

“Every gasp of delighted surprise.”

“Every involuntary whimper.”

“Every lustful yelp.”

“Every plea for me to keep going.”

“Every unhinged beg.”

“Every feral scream that only I can rouse out of those magnificent lungs. Indulge my deranged wish and let me hear it all, Goose.”

His words whisk you onto an expressive whirlwind of slow-building passion. You close your eyes and watch as your orgasm transforms from a cozy snuggle to a captivating explosion; behind your eyelids, amorous red transitions to a lustful magenta. It lightens to a flirtatious and giggly bubblegum, intensifying to a vibrating, barely-there pink. Then, all at once, buckets of slumberous evergreen, pure Ezra energy, submerge you into your release. Any bit of any other color is eradicated as he pours his soul onto yours. Descending from your chameleonic trance, you open your eyes to meet his. He can see that he has torn you apart in a most satiating way, which catapults him to his peak. He pulls out of you and pumps his cum onto the backside of your thighs, his heart collapsing with joy. He smears his stickiness across both of your hamstrings and then quickly gets to work to release you from his necktie binds. The bind that he has made of your heart to his, though, is infinitely knotted, forever unbreakable. 

Your limbs untangle themselves and fall to the bed, every cell in your body pooped from the session. He asks for a final time, “Color?” 

You sigh, “Green. You?” 

He smiles, “Green.” 

He brushes the now cum-stained ties to the side and pats your stomach, stamping a handprint of his seed, “I’ll be right back, Goose.” You nod once and he gets up and exits the room, leaving the door ajar.

You flip onto your stomach, your muscles yearning for a change of position after getting pummeled into the mattress. You bend your arms to lay in front of you, elbows sighing in relief for being contracted instead of stretched. You close your eyes and rest your head on his pillow for what seems like a millisecond, but when you open them back up Ezra has returned with two glasses of water, a washcloth and a juice box. 

He folds the cloth into a triangle, dips a corner into a glass and then brings it behind you. The icy water feels good on your overheated skin as he wipes away his cum before it has the chance to dry. Once he cleans you off, he takes a seat on the edge of the bed next to your depleted frame. He sets the cloth down and picks up the other glass of water, “Drink this, sweetheart.” You prop yourself up on your forearms and gulp some much needed fluids down as Ezra holds the glass steady against your mouth. You hold up a weak hand when you’ve had your fill and he finishes off the drink. You never thought you would find sharing a drink like this with someone stomachable, let alone wildly attractive. But Ezra had changed you; you wanted to exchange cells, germs, bodily fluids with him, no matter how nasty it sounded when put into words. 

Ezra trades the glass for the juice box and pops the straw into the opening, holding it up to your lips, “Drink some.” You curiously eye the juice box: apple flavored, the carton decorated in bright and childish cartoons. You tease him, “You know, when I said I might have a daddy kink, this is not what I meant.” 

You both laugh, and he pokes after a moment, “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.” 

As you take the straw into your mouth and drink, he places a hand on the back of your head and pets your hair, “That’s it, babygirl, do as Daddy says.” An air of laughter blows through your nose and you choke on the liquid as Ezra cackles. You drop the straw and cough, “Stop!” 

He continues to laugh at you while you whine, “Why do I have to drink this anyways, can’t I just have water?” 

He calms himself down and shakes his head, “No, I want to replenish your blood sugar. Otherwise you might feel faint, and not in a good way.” He shoots you a wink and you take another sip of the juice. 

When you’re done, he puts the half-empty box back on the nightstand and lays on top of you. You joke, “You’re crushing me and you told me I have to pee right after.” 

Since sleeping together, Ezra had realized how little knowledge of aftercare you had. He had advised you to go to the bathroom as soon as possible after the deed is done in order to avoid urinary tract infections, among other pains. He nuzzles into your shoulder and protests, “In a minute.” 

Taking into account the history of his comment and your increasingly heavy eyelids, you rebut, “You know that never happens.” More often than not, when Ezra trapped you in a cage of cuddles directly afterward like this, the two of you would fall asleep and you would skip the trip to the bathroom. He grunts and moves his weight off of you, “Fine, but I’ll only let you go if I can carry you in there.” You barely have time to begin laughing before he’s swooping you up into his arms. 

After you both use your respective time in the bathroom, you and Ezra dress in matching pajamas and climb into bed. Coddling you into his broad chest, his fingers dance on the back of your neck and your lower back. You turn your head up to face him and when he returns your gaze you reference the whole night, “Thank you.” 

A smile crinkles his tired eyes, “The pleasure was all mine, Goose. Thank you for taking it all so well. Get some sleep, okay?” 

“Only if you will too.”

“Sure thing, my love.”

He gives you a kiss before you retreat back into the sanctuary of his embrace. Right as you’re drifting off to sleep, he adds, “I would like to ravage you one more time, in the morning.” 

Your smirk pulls at the fabric of his shirt, “Okay. But no daddy kink. We have to save some things to explore when we come back.” 

He hums, pressing his cheek into the top of your head before the two of you succumb to the temptation of sleep, “As you wish.”

💘taglist: @pascalpanic

[whoneedssexed]

Hello,

I've been on the Nexplanon Implant for almost 2 years now and I believe it finally kill every emotion inside of me. I've never been diagnosed with depression so I'm not sure if I am depressed but I am irritated all the time, my sex drive is gone and im just mad alot.... I usually describe myself as feeling numb . I used to hate my intense emotions while having a regular period but I truly miss it. I miss feeling deeply. I dont know how ppl enjoy not feeling anything. Its affecting my relationship as I just irritated with my partner, I havnt really felt much joy with him , as much as I did when I didn't have the Implant, I used to get these intense obsession towards him a few days before my period which I used to find odd but now I miss them bc I dont feel anything at all. I do want to get my Implant removed but I'd there anything that I can do until then ? I feel like on auto pilot happiness tbh

Yeah, this does sound like depression. Have you brought it up with your doctor?

Hormonal birth control does carry the side effect of mood changes for some people, unfortunately, but there's so many factors that go into such a thing that it's also possible it's a coincidence.

But it's your choice whether you want the implant. I still suggest speaking to your doctor to see if 1. there are any other causes, and, most importantly, 2. what alternatives you can use that may not have such an issue for you.

As for what to do in the meantime, I suggest looking up "how to deal with depression", as there are many self care things you can do that can improve your mood. Here's a few of our tags on it:

#depression

#self care

#self love

#mental health resources

I also suggest talking to your partner about what's going on and how you feel, so he can support you and understand. Support is always the number one most important thing to have when you have any mental health struggles.

It stinks, I know, but your recognition of the issue is a step towards getting help. Good luck!

-ModBp

[andrewminyartd]

ACOSF SPOILERS

DO NOT CONTINUE TO READ !!

ALSO KINDA LONG

-

I haven’t posted on tumblr in ages but this is the only place I know to rant.

I feel like there were three storylines mushed into one book here. Nesta, nesta & cassian, and the others.

NESTA - 5/5

Singling out Nestas part includes her growth, her friendships, her training, the stairs and the blood rite.

I LOVED this. I feel like so many people have serious trauma that causes us to change for the worst. we become harsh, we lash out at the people we love, we lash out at ourselves, question our worth, etc.

( did I love to see that the crew voted for this? no but that’s for another section. )

I honestly don’t have much to say besides it was wonderful to see nesta find herself. using the training to hone her mind and body, making amazing bonds with other women of trauma, to form that sisterhood, to finally master the stairs but to use them as a time to understand herself, and to ( unofficially ) complete the blood rite. chefs kiss, I’m so happy for her.

I completely understand what it’s like to be so comfortable in your sorrow ( or anger ) and not want to leave, it’s all you know.

The sleepover scene really tore at my heart I’m the good way, as someone who has three sisters, I loved it. No matter how cheesy it sounds sisterhood is a gift. I’ve found myself at odds with my sisters on so many occasions, wishing I could never see or speak to them again, but it always reverts to the i breakable bond of having a growing partner.

plus gwyn and emerie amazing women love to see it. Great supporting characters.

the blood rite, trope-y but still great to see her flourish.

NESTA + CASSIAN 4/5

Again, very cliche. I still liked it. The sex was filthy which wow i was a bit blown away. I have no qualms reading scenes like that but i felt so sad it had to be just sex in the beginning.

I looooved that he stood by her side. What an amazing man. Yeah I know they said I knew you were my mate etc etc but I mean elain and lucien are mates and so obviously not together so,,,,, point being he stayed not knowing what would happen.

I loved the hike, what a great connection. And a great message, if you need your time take it but I’ll always be here and waiting.

I do have to say I agree with some people that why can’t there ever just be an emotional scene followed by I love you and just yk comfort and etc. I do that with my husband all the time, no sex needed to portray the emotions.

Granted they are new mates but still.

THE OTHERS - 1/5

Am I not the only person who was really taken aback by the crew in this book? What is this voting on people’s life and feysand being wonky as fuck????

I was pleasantly surprised about the pregnancy but I felt like this was not the book for that. I don’t even know how to properly explain it I just am really surprised? I just didn’t like the general tone and vibe of everyone.

Mor? okay girl was barely here and uh is she hiding something? what is eris hinting at? ( dONT come at me if we are supposed to know I only reread the ending of acowar ). Feysand? Um just straight up annoying and rude. their bonus scene pissed me off. and yeah she’s pregnant I don’t give a shit I do not like how they treated everyone in this. Amren? No complaints shes chillin. I would expect her to vote on ppls lives but not everyone else. Elain? girly strong but practically not even in the book. Cassian? king Az? Pretty normal imo.

I feel like this book should’ve focused on Nesta more and she could’ve focused more on the enemy rather then throwing feysands pregnancy problems around. the plot was sloppy and loose.

BONUS - ERIEL

I love azriel, I always have he is one of my favourite characters. I hate people bashing on him, bc listen the fuck up. we do not know ANYTHING that has gone on between elain and him in an entire YEAR. for people to come for his life bc he’s having fantasies, how is it any different then cassian? he’s an illyrian male like??? oh because they aren’t mates? yeah well for 3/4th of the book it wasn’t confirmed nes and cas were mates either and everyone still rooted for them meanwhile their mates could’ve been somewhere else. mates does not always mean romantic, rejecting the bond exists for a reason. give elain a break, she finds no comfort in lucien. period. dont act like if luciens girl hadn’t been killed he wouldnt be cozied up with her rn bc he already found love. And would’ve accepted the platonic bond. I didn’t bother to read the part where he’s “ flirting” with gwyn. like bro got yelled at for trying to pursue someone he loves and someone who loves him back you assholes. he’s a man, they aren’t perfect, not even rhys or cas. he doesn’t even know gwyn and for yall to be like omg his shadows come alive blah blah, brUh he doesn’t even know her. If he chooses to persue that so be it but imo it’s squat compared to his relationship/friendship with elain. and I think you’re all taking the three sisters statement wrong, hes not saying he’s entitled bro he’s just saying like does it not make sense seeing as they are in love/attracted to each other.

CONCLUSION

Loved the Nesta story line, liked the nesta cassian story line, did not like anything else.

NOTE: if you agree or have anything to add feel free to comment or repost! If you don’t please just scroll.

[goodgirlgrow]

Also, quick question. We’re you into this before meeting your feeder, or did he introduce it to you? Thanks!

Short answer: I was into it before me met:

Origin story (TW/CW: ED, abuse): Christ, I hope this helps someone.

I’ve been into feedism since before puberty. There are hazy, weird memories when I was like age 4-5 of playing with dolls. I just remember making all my dolls hate one doll and turn on her. I know a lot of the time the doll was me 🙁 she would become “pooey.” Like she was a piece of shit person, nothing about literal feces. There was some slow process that led to her achieving pooiness. When I was about 7 or 8, and my home life became just horrible, is when I started playing out things with myself. Drinking lots of water, bloating, pushing my stomach out. Becoming “pooey” turned into me pretending I went to a party and got pregnant and was then fat. Again, I was 7/8 yo. I would stand in front of the mirror and act this out. At some point I read an article in Teen Vogue about a model that had beat anorexia and become a plus size model. That cemented to me that fat was something that “wasn’t normal” but also neither was thinness? I think reading this also imprinted “you can be fat one day and people will like it.” Then there was a period where I would push my stomach out and see if people would notice. I’d go find my mom and say I wanted to cuddle and place her hand on my belly. Some time after that, I developed a penchant for eating cookie dough and drinking OJ. I was 9 and going through puberty prematurely. By the time I was 10 I looked like I was 14. Chubby. Big boobs, 34C. My doctor, not knowing I had a bush and a monthly period, encountered me and said I was overweight and needed to diet. Classic. Around 10/11 I started being sexually abused, etc, and once I had reached 12 I was purging every single meal I ate. There was a blank time between 10 and 12/13 where I can’t pick out feedism memories. But when I started to actually masturbate etc when I was 12/13, I always had one hand on my stomach. My eating disorder had matured to just outright restriction, and over the next few years my weight would go from 97lbs to 105lbs (at 5’6”.) until I was 15. The entirety of my eating disorder I jacked off to feedism. I found Dimensions Mag and the Weight Room. Fantasy Feeder. YouTube videos. Sometime around 15/16, I became less sick, and stayed more between 107-112lbs. I started to have regular sex partners, aka boyfriends then. Basically every time I’ve had sex since I was 15 I have thought about feedism/wg in the privacy of my mind while my partner did whatever they did to my body. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I considered actually indulging my feedist desires. I posted some really sad, skinny girl belly pics. I was a whopping “healthy” “recovered” 115lbs then. I remember talking to a few people on FF then. Finally, at 22, I posted actual content on FF. I actually gained weight. I think I gained 15, 20lbs before I stopped and went back to 115lbs. Then I was a full-service sex worker for while ¯\_(ツ)_/ and then in 2016, someone whom I had kept in touch with from my 2015 FF days told me to post on Curvage. I had gained 45lbs unintentionally. Honestly, I was completely fucking depressed then. I had been prescribed a psych drug and it totally fucked up my brain. I would secretly buy scratch off tickets and shit lol. I would drive to Walgreens and buy a bunch of garbage food and eat it all and then burst into tears bc none of it was a conscious decision. Basic dopamine shit. Curvage helped a lot—I could remind myself of the beauty I saw in fatness, that plump ripe forbidden fruit. Part of my recovering from that was getting in-shape again. I wanted getting fat to be my choice. I thought being a BDSM play toy was the answer to all my problems. I had a long, crazy relationship with my one and only real Dom. Together we lived out almost all of our fantasies. But it just wasn’t it for me. I went on and off Curvage in 2018 between seeing him, still just not knowing what I wanted. Being a gym bunny wasn’t it for me, just a new form of ED. Being a pain slut got boring. I had done everything I could think of except giving in. So when January 2020 came around I did. And then my feeder DM’ed me and that was that.

[domreaderrecs]

Oh boy do I have some kink discourse for you. Here’s a wholeass list:

1. A female dominant does not need to be a sadist who is always torturing and abusing their sub. They can be soft and kind and caring.

2. Findom is a valid form of domination and is really a kink, it is not just women faking it to get money.

3. Online domination is possible, although there are more risks involved, it is still a valid form of domination.

4. Submissive black men are allowed to refuse to be called slave and their dom shouldnt be annoyed they can’t used their preferred honorific.

5. Kink and fetishes can be incorporated without the use of the power dynamic found in BDSM.

6. BDSM is still BDSM if the rope is pink and the outfit is white lace instead of red and leather.

7. It should be standard practice for there to be a safe word that means everything is fine so that the Dom can check in on the sub easily without breaking the scene.

8. It is only BDSM when both parties have discussed before hand, otherwise it’s sexual assault (yes that includes Chad who brought out the rope without warning and now Bethany is just going along because she likes him)

9. BDSM has always and will always be driven by the LGBT community.

10. Under 18 year olds do not have a place in the BDSM community. If they wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.

Yeah that’s about it for now. I’m realizing you probably didn’t want this much but oh well. We’re here now. Let me know what you think!

whewww so much to unpack here lets go its essay time

1. !!!! this is probably one of the most fundamentally misunderstood parts of femdom. it don’t gotta be ball crushing and whipping and calling him a worm all the time, or even at all. this is probably what turns so many women off from trying it or thinking they might be into a more dominant role. gentle femdom is way more palatable for beginners and for me personally, just way more enjoyable (even tho i definitely would wanna make a boy cry from time to time)

2. I used to be one of those people who looked down on findom. I still don’t understand why anyone would be into it tbh but findoms get a lot of shit for no reason... being a sugar baby is so glamorized but if you’re a findom you’re cold, or a bitch, or taking advantage. even though they’re both just people who get money from men who have money to throw at them for sexual favors... but one’s demonized and one’s all the rage... hm i wonder why

3. I have no real/successful experience with this... more on that in number 10

4. 100000%!! the stories i’ve seen from black subs in kink (mostly black women but still) are horrendous. a lot of doms will try to enforce a master/slave relationship, and try to exercise their authority to make subs agree to it. i know it’s a common dynamic, but that shit is wayyyy different to black people... any dom should know that. forcing your sub to do anything is wrong, but especially something so racially, historically, and culturally insensitive. and don’t get me started on the surprise “race play” stories i’ve heard... like i said doing anything without your sub’s consent is wrong but THAT kind of thing requires double consent with a cherry on top. this is part of the reason I’m so scared to enter the kink scene... this shit scares me. thats why the title mistress and master/slave dynamics in general just isn’t for me. it makes me think of my ancestors :/

5. again, 1000% agree. i’ve said this on my blog before, but i’ll say it again. not everything has to be dom/sub stuff. if you wanna peg your bf you don’t have to tie him up and call him names or boss him around, you can just peg him. i feel like ever since FSOG this whole dom/sub thing has grown way out of proportion, but that’s a whole other essay for another day

6. yessss I hate the stereotype of dom outfits as black, latex, leather, way too high to walk in boots... like does it look fire?? yes of course but pink and lace and knee high socks would make a fit that’s just as fire. 

7. this is non-negotiable to me. whenever I hear someone say “I don’t like safe words” or “I/We don’t need a safe word” it’s just a red flag to me. idc what anyone says safe words are mandatory.

8. Yes. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but with the rise of the popularity of “rough sex” (again, thanks FSOG) there’s seems to be a rise in people who just assume their partner may be into something, or who just try to experiment on their partner without asking them first. I’ve heard a lot of friends and other girls talk about guys just going straight into choking them, spanking them, and pulling their hair without even asking if they like it (another reason I’m scared to get out there and do stuff, as a person who is very much not a sub or into being treated roughly or tossed around, it’s a big fear of mine). I’ve also seen a lot about girls just randomly trying to finger their boyfriends. If it’s not vanilla, and y’all haven’t discussed it, do not assume it’s on the table. We’ve gotten to a point that kinky stuff is so talked about and normalized (especially with young adults) that people forget it’s actually kinky. 

9. period.

10. okay so story time, around the age of 15/16 is when I started to realize I was into kinky stuff. The preference had kinda always been there, but I couldn’t really place a name to it. I had always felt like an outcast among my peers when it came to the way they would talk about romantic and sexual relationships (I was a year ahead, so all my friends were 1-2 years older than me, so they started to do that stuff earlier than I did) because the things they talked about and liked were way different from the stuff I would think/fantasize about, so I always stayed quiet (teenage girls are very vocal about having choking/daddy kinks but that’s definitely indicative of a much larger problem that i will not get into bc that’s a whole other very very long essay that I will definitely write on here one day but not now). So when I found out what gentle femdom was I felt like I had a community that understood me, and everything just clicked. I would lurk on online communities and I lived for the discourse on there but I could never actively participate because every community had a strict “no minors” policy. They would say exactly what you said, “If minors wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.” I didn’t want to make anyone catch a case and I didn’t want to get targeted by predators so I tried to follow their advice. i found nothing. There honestly just isn’t that much educational stuff for “kinky teenagers”, or at least none that fit me. There was no femdom oriented stuff. I mean sure there was the standard “consent is important especially in bdsm relationships” but like that didn’t really help me. I had so many questions, that I could never feel comfortable asking my mom or a therapist, and especially not my friends. I didn’t know how to express this part of myself. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it and I couldn’t even watch porn like a normal teenager (we all know the state of femdom porn. its bad) so I was this ball incredible frustration and confusion and i didn’t know what to do with it. So I unfortunately turned to twitter. There I made a little like minded friend. he was also 16 so i thought “this is good, a non adult also kinky teenager who I can relate too. what could go wrong :)”(I’m sure you see where this is going) I was so excited to have a new friend, but ofc, our convos soon took a turn. However, since he was the first person to ever show interest in me, and the only person my age who i could talk to who understood me, i started to catch feelings. But he was a teen just like me, just as horny and confused and sooo immature. He started to pressure me into domming him/becoming his domme, but I refused because I wasn’t ready (i saw on one of those online communities I used to lurk in that its not healthy for your first sexual experience to be bdsm and I took that to heart). he ghosted me. needless to say that “friendship” was toxic. i realized too late that he only saw me as a kink dispenser, and didn’t care about me on a personal level. it also made me realize how not “mature for my age” I was. i say all this to say, NO, teenagers should not be participating in kink. they are not mature enough. however education and resources for them are not where they should be. if we want to discourage them from putting themselves in these situations, we need to better provide them with education and healthy ways to relieve these urges/feelings (i eventually took up writing, it helped me a lot). i feel like had i found a healthier and safer way to express/explore that side of myself, I would’ve never gotten in that situation to begin with. That experience has kinda put me off from dipping my toe into the actual community (well that and the lack of diversity but we’ve already talked about that)

ALSO the amount of very young children i’ve seen in the kink “community” on twitter is alarming... you’re not a little you’re 12

anyways, thanks so much for this essay of an ask and sorry i wrote an essay in response to each one lol but like I said I could discuss kink all day

[astralastrid]

USUK/UKUS survey by @americapersonified

Tagged by @hariible so here we go!

In what decade did they officially become involved?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

The fics have ruined me. So I'd probably say during or after WWII. Plus that's when the "Special Relationship" was coined.

Who tops? (USUK or UKUS?)

*Looks at the UKUS server I made* idk you tell me

Honestly though Arthur probably has more relationship experience, so he's more confident and willing to take the lead. Alfred is actually secretly shy and modest about this stuff! (I mean, I do think we Americans are more conservative and modest when it comes to romance?) Plus like, Alfred finally feels like he can trust someone and let them take care of him, that he's loved when the whole world mocks him... Whoops got a little angsty there

Was either of them a virgin before their first hookup?

It's time for me to unveil my demi!America headcanon that's just me projecting aw yeah

Alfred is. He actually thought he was ace before he met Arthur because he was never interested in that kind of stuff, preferring to cuddle instead. But once he met Arthur he trusted that he'd take care of him and stuff and wanted to try it.

If not, to whom did each lose his virginity?

Alfred to Arthur.

Arthur to? Idk Francis probably? I do see FrUk as like, a past thing. Along with SpUk and PortEng. So one of them probably.

(Read more bc LONG post)

Are they more patient with each other in private, or do they bicker/tease each other all the time?

Haha projection time 2.0

Bro, like, a good relationship should have teasing anyway (unless your partner isn't ok with it!) so definitely. But Alfred actually gets self-conscious about the things that Arthur teases him about so he has to stop and tell him how much he loves him and stuff. But in general they're more patient because they've come to understand each other and love the other's quirks.

Will they ever get married?

Yeah but after a while. Alfred wants to do it right away but Arthur rejects him, saying that the don't need rings to prove that they love each other. He promises he will eventually. I like to think after gay marriage legalized in the States they celebrated by getting married.

If so, where will the wedding be held? (Add other details if you wish.)

Hopeless romantic Ame time!

Can you have more than one ceremony? No? Oh well. Summer wedding in America, Fall Wedding in England. I don't know much about wedding planning but I read a headcanon that was like "their vows were so beautiful it made everyone cry" and I support that. Both of them cry during the other's too. Lots of tears shed on both sides during everything. Lots of white and silver and gold because yeah. None of this stupid "one of them wears a dress" business. Like, it's ok for a relationship to be masc/masc and fem/fem like don't heteronormalize it. So two tuxes. Probably no "walking down the aisle?" Maybe they both come in from the sides idk. A cheer when they kiss. "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis is their first dance. Arthur probably sings "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" after their first dance. Wedding cupcakes is galaxy brain so wedding cupcakes. Multiple flavors.

At whose house do they most often stay together?

Alfred's. It's larger anyway.

Do they refer to each other by their nation names or human names?

Human names. Nation only for business.

What pet names do they have for each other?

Arthur: Love, (The most common one) Darling, Dearest, Dear, Poppet (2nd most common) Alfie (extremely rare, or when drunk. Alfred adores when he calls him this though.)

Alfred: Babe, Baby, Artie, Art, Honey, Sweetie, Sweetiepie, Sweetheart, Sweetcheeks.

Who drives?

Both, Alfred loves to drive! But Arthur gets nervous because Alfred can drive like a New Yorker, (that is, aggressively, quickly, a bit dangerously, lots of honking from him and others) especially when he's in a rush or late, and god help everyone when he has road rage.

So Arthur judges the mood and insits if he knows Alfred is probably gonna drive like that.

Is Alfred good at making Arthur’s tea?

Dude of course. It's never quite perfect of course, but you don't date someone for decades without learning how to make their lifeline. In this vein Arthur also knows how to make Alfred's coffee. (And since this isn't a question, Alfred likes it blacker than black in the mornings, and all sugared and creamered up after work and in the evenings.)

It’s universally accepted that Arthur sucks at cooking. Does Alfred enjoy cooking? Is he good at it? Or does he usually stick to McDonald’s and fast food?

Ok yeah but I headcanon Arthur can bake, like really well. Ok yeah I know about his scones but maybe he's just bad at making those specifically.

Alfred loves to cook. He loves to grill even more. But he likes to experiment and try new stuff and he's damn good at it (because cooking is just another science!) So his meals are like comfort food. Almost restaurant quality. Boy could be a chef. But he also loves his fast food and instants. (Kraft's Mac and Cheese is so good.) And yeah he loves Mickey D's but have y'all ever been to like, Noodles and Company or Sonic? Like, there are some GOOD fast food joints and I'm sure he loves them all. Arthur probably doesn't like burger joints but does like places like Panera.

Do they shower together? (Often; not specifically for sex.)

Sometimes? Idk man it's hard as shit to wash your back so yeah? Also the tenderness of giving your lover a bath? I'm🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Who smells better? (In your opinion.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

People just smell like, people, and to the other they each smell like home.

How vocal are they in bed?

Alfred’s so LOUD lmao. But Arthur loves it. If he was more of a memelord he'd record and make a remix of his sounds.

Who has the more active libido?

Definitely Arthur.

Is spending time together easy, or are they forced apart for long periods at a time?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't know how politics work? Do important government officials have to be there in person for meetings?

Let's have two senarios here:

Let's say they do, and they have to be apart for periods of time. Both the boys have separation anxiety and HATE being apart, so there's always the fear and the paronia and concern when they are apart, and they have almost daily video chats. It's really hard on both of them. They text and call often too. They miss the other dearly. When they reunite they kiss and cuddle like they need it to survive. They're much more affectionate with each other and spend every moment they can together to "recharge" before the "hyper-affectioness" goes down. Leaving is super difficult. Lots of tears and hugs, promises to be back asap, longful stares and apologies. Cursing their job and such. Desire to quit or face the consequences and just stay. (Which is completely blocked by the other.)

Let's say somehow they work something out and they can spend long amounts of time together with minimal travel. Sometimes they get into fights or just get on each other's nerves or just need some alone time. Alfred will go run or excercise while Arthur goes to a café until they're ready to make up/miss and want to see the other. Business trips help keep tensions low, but they're still painful.

Are they wealthy? Or do they live modestly?

I’d say like average people. Arthur probably likes it a bit more tasteful and stylish though, so little hints of wealth. Also, Arthur basically has a library for his book collection that acts as his study and Alfred has his own study and a gaming room. They have the prettiest garden you ever did see though. And a really nice patio. With a nice backyard and grill.

For Alfred specifically: Glasses on or glasses off?

On! Except in the bedroom.

How often do they break up?

Rarely if at all. They probably did once and missed the other so badly that they promised never to do it again, and always talk it out. Sure they get into fights and one of them will storm off, but they both understand that that usually means the other needs to cool down before they can talk.

Open relationship?

No.

Did Arthur actually care for Alfred before the American Revolution?

I really want to say yes, because of how it was portrayed, but honestly? I don't think the U.S. was any different from England's other colonies. He'd occasionally check up on all of them, but he was super surprised at how fast America grew.

Of course once the war happens he's riddled with regret. Maybe if he treated him better this wouldn't have happened. War with a colony for their independence is ugly anyway. Even after the war, I don't think England was as heartbroken as it was portrayed. I think he was depressed about it for a while, but eventually got over it. It still took him, like any colonizer, a while to see him as an equal though, which infuriated America. However they are both completely over it and don't talk much about it anymore. It's all in the past for them.

@milopottz (I know we don't interact but 👀)

Tag people if you want, so

Also @alifeasvivid and @anyone who wants to

[ppersonna]

I’ve been struggling a LOT with internalised slut shaming lately. I am having sex with a few different people currently, and even though I am being safe and honest with my partners I can’t help this culpability that I shouldn’t do it. I hate this feeling bc I know I am being unfair to myself. Anyway, I just wanted to share it with someone and you’re always sweet so... hope you’re are doing well, love.

hi darlin 💖 i know this exact feeling because i still struggle with it too. there was a period in time where i was consensually sleeping with a lot of people and enjoying myself but was extremely ashamed of myself for it. i don’t know what the answer is or how to fix it either but know that you’re not alone 💖 stay safe and strong, my dear we can get through this together.

[cxrleonis]

@bnjmin​ said: 😘 👍 💗 👠🎆 💕 💑 ok don't hate me but ... for all

accepting

😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date?

cory: not at first. the more she dates, the more open she’d be to it. so soft no.

estelle: no.

jackie: not usually.

lake: yep.

isabel: not usually, but every full moon, if the mood’s right 👀

eve: no.

👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?

cory: prefers to be asked.

estelle: 50/50, she’s a nervous wreck either way.

jackie: she likes both, so she doesn’t really have a preference.

lake: def prefers to ask.

isabel: prefers to ask, will most likely say no if asked.

eve: does not want to go on dates, don’t ask her (kinda 50/50, but usually prefers to ask).

💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

cory: she falls in love with everyone, yes.

estelle: yes.

jackie: yes.

lake: no.

isabel: she’ll tell you no, but a lil bit.

eve: no.

👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?

cory: julia-- cory was friends with her all throughout high school up until graduation. she was one of cory’s only friends, and one of her closest. they would always sleep over at each other’s houses, and they would cuddle while watching movies, and they’d hug a little bit too long, and julia thought they could be each other’s first kiss for fun, so they were, and it was nice. but for how affectionate they were with each other, julia insisted they kept it to when they hung out in private. they were friends, but it felt like more to cory, but julia almost made it seem like it was less. she distanced herself from cory publicly up until they graduated and she moved away, and cory never saw her again. four years.

estelle: rowan seymour was in estelle’s first ballet class. the two were almost always pitted against each other by the other classmates because they were always the two strongest dancers in the room. for a few years, they felt like they had to be rivals, so they didn’t really communicate with each other. still, estelle admired rowan and she the same, but the mutual admiration remained unspoken until one day, during a bathroom break, rowan waited until all the other girls left before puling estelle into a kiss, confessing her attraction. they dated for about a year and a half, but estelle was so new to this and so reserved that it felt like she couldn’t move with the relationship at the pace rowan wanted it to. they eventually fell apart.

jackie: too lazy to find a name for this boy, but jackie met him shortly after being taken in by robert and after she started going to church. for a short period, she was in the church choir, where he was as well, and they began dating rather quickly. jackie never really felt a spark with him, but felt lowkey pressured by the community to date him because finding a stable romantic relationship felt like the next step in recovering. she broke up with him after ten months. they’re still good friends.

lake: agnes blanchard was one of the people who offered up their place for lake to couch-surf-- a friend of a friend of a friend. they were going through some sort of early quarter-life crisis when they met lake. they didn’t want anything serious, they just wanted a distraction from the weight on their shoulders. lake was happy to be that distraction (maybe she kind of wanted one too). but when lake felt that agnes was getting attached to her, wanting something more than this vague thing they had, she moved on. five to six months.

isabel: theo malkin, a a psychology major she met during her first year in college. he was smart, and funny, and maybe a little bit too cocky, but she was too. they were casual friends for about a year before they began dating, but towards the later end of their college careers, isabel began spending more time on studies and internships and disregarded her social life. he got tired of it and broke up with her. at that point, she had already felt they were heading in different path, so she used that as a way to cushion her sadness. they were together for about two years.

eve: she doesn’t remember his name, but she remembers he had a kind smile. she would takes walk with him (and sometimes anna accompanied) along the castle gardens. they’d play hide and seek there. she kissed him there, when they both reeled back with noses scrunched in childish disgust and they burst into giggles. after her incident with anna, she spent most of her times indoors and they stopped spending time together. they grew up-- she saw him every now and then during balls, royal events, but she never said hi. she imagines he still lives in arendelle. 

🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?

cory: yes.

estelle: yes.

jackie: yes.

lake: no.

isabel: yes.

eve: doesn’t mind it, but she’s also an extreme loner.... so she’s kinda indifferent to it.

💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

cory: yes.

estelle: probably not.

jackie: maybe.

lake: she’s just afraid of relationships point blank at this point. like, i feel like rn she’s more open to open relationships than polyamorous relationships... but maybe at some point down the line when she’s not, like.... terrified of being close to someone.

isabel: no.

eve: yes.

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?

cory: um, um, that they are nice and like her back? honestly, she just looks for someone who can give her affection, or someone she thinks needs affection, for the most part. it’s what can lead her to overlook flaws a lot. but when she really be looking, she just wants someone who’s communicative, loyal, is willing to be silly with her, and affectionate bc she just rlly likes intimacy.

estelle: patience, kindness, maturity, supportive, and most importantly, will laugh at her jokes.

jackie: trusting, funny, knows what they want out of the relationship, playful, genuine.

lake: this one’s tough bc what she looks for in a potential “partner” is not necessarily what’s best for her or what would make her the happiest in the long run. in general, she looks for someone who’s funny, laid back, into physical intimacy, sweet. in order to avoid being in a serious relationship, though, she also looks for people who either are noncommittal, do not have emotional maturity, or are gullible or easily manipulated enough that she can have fun but leave the moment things start getting serious without too much of a fight. 

isabel: mature, driven, confident (but not arrogant, she will knock u down), independent, intelligent, and supportive.

eve: loyal, honest, humorous, calming, intelligent, and honestly anyone who gives off a genuine in love with life vibe just has her with lowkey heart-eyes.