#still think this movie will be mid but this is what I'll be looking forward too

[lillifaba]

EVERYONE SHUT UP FIYERO TRAILER JUST DROPPED AND MOVIE IS CONFIRMING HE GETS ALL THE LADIES AND FELLAS TOO! CANON PAN YERO!! (x)

[calqlate]

US

SUMMARY: You are the side character of someone else's fairytale and you fall in love with the male lead of her story. You think, "Can a side character get their happy ending?", and you hope you can.

PAIRING: iwaizumi hajime x gn! reader

GENRE(S): angst (with a happy ending) + pining (one-sided) + second choice syndrome

CW(S)/TW(S): coarse/foul/strong language used

WC: 4657

MASTERLIST

In all cliché love stories, there would always be a love triangle between the protagonist, the good guy, and the playboy. The protagonist would always choose the bad boy, no matter what, and the good guy would always be there as moral support. That was simply the unspoken 'rule' that posed itself as a trend in all novels.

In your life, you felt that you were definitely not the protagonist. If your life were a movie, you supposed, you would probably be one of those good-natured side characters who appeared in the film from two to four times, maybe even an extra in a story. You know, the kind chef that appeared on page sixteen of the storybook, or the dutiful store assistant who was moving boxes in the back.

Now, you might be wondering who the protagonist was. It was Sawabe Nagi: skinny, fair-skinned, and popular. She was bubbly, well-liked, and beautiful to boot; she was practically born to be the main character. Like the typical protagonist she was, she chose the bad boy, Oikawa Tooru, the dashing heartthrob of Seijoh. The good guy here was then Iwaizumi Hajime, who happened to be the playboy's best friend and childhood friend.

Before the plot was written, the good guy had a backstory with the side character. (Perhaps this story would change the course of the actual story? We would never know.)

You walked into class with your earpieces plugged in as you scrolled through your Instagram feed. As you sat down, you happened to come across a ridiculously hilarious post, something like a text post regarding your favourite band, and you tried so hard not to laugh. The pressure of holding it in was so great that as a result, you snorted out loud. Your eyes widened in surprise and you immediately clapped a hand over your mouth, hoping no one heard it. Unfortunately for you, your desk neighbour Iwaizumi Hajime had heard you, and he threw you a curious glance.

A sudden thought popped into your head: Huh, Iwaizumi really almost never smiles. Almost timidly, you decided to show him the post that had caused your earlier embarrassing outburst. Cautiously, you slid your phone over onto his desk and said, "Look at it."

The tan ravenette looked up at you from your phone, meeting your gaze. You simply tilted your head towards your phone as a response, and he raised an eyebrow at you. He still looked back down at your phone anyway, after angling the device, and looked at the post. Slowly, his lips formed the grace of smile. Shortly after, a chuckle resonated from his throat.

"Seriously, Iwaizumi, you should smile more," you commented casually, pulling your earpieces out of your ears, "It suits you."

"You think so?" Iwaizumi asked, somewhat shyly, handing your phone back to you.

You nodded, taking your phone from him, then tucking it carefully into your blazer pocket.

"I'll give you my number so you can send me more of these, then," he said.

You stopped mid-movement, then you laughed slightly. Very smooth, Iwaizumi, very smooth.

Ever since that day, the two of you would talk, laugh at ridiculous posts either one of you found on the internet or social media, eat lunch, and do usual things friends did. Slowly, through the passage of time, you realised a few small things: how you looked forward to your mini rendezvous during lunch, how you automatically lit up whenever Iwaizumi smiled, laughed, or complimented you, and how you found yourself wanting to know him inside out and as well as the back of your hand.

The final epiphany settled in: through the passage of time, you had undoubtedly fallen in love with Iwaizumi Hajime.

Your world was filled with endless joy, dizzying euphoria, and pure bliss: you would spend the rest of your remaining high school years with Iwaizumi. There was, indeed, a small part of you deep down that was afraid to come clean with him, to tell him how you really felt about him. However, you decided that it was better to keep him in the dark. You would wait for the right time to tell him everything. Your desire could wait.

That was, until he told you that he liked Sawabe Nagi — that was what burst your unknowingly fragile bubble of innocence. It was as though your ideas of your future dreamlike days with him had simply disintegrated into thin air.

However, you decided to put your friendship first before your selfish wants: you put on a brave smile, hid your sadness and slight jealousy, and wished him all the best in courting Sawabe.

You continued to hang out with him, though it pained you knowing that he never felt the same way you did. It was definitely difficult to feign smiles and speak comfortably with him. You had also once considered putting some distance between the both of you, but your better judgement convinced you otherwise as you did not want to dump your pain onto Iwaizumi like that. It would not be fair to him at all.

One day, after an afternoon of rigorous training, you walked out and was heading to the gate when you spotted someone sitting with their head low under the tree, just near the gates. The figure's silhouette was unmistakable to you; it was none other than your spiky-haired deskie.

"Iwaizumi?" you said as you approached him cautiously, watching his every movement with great focus.

"Oh, hey," he said as he glanced up to look at you, smiling slightly as if — no, definitely — trying to hide his earlier gloomy mood, "You're done with practice?"

You noticed that his characteristically mesmerising deep charcoal eyes were rather red and puffy, with dried tears on his face — a seemingly vulnerable look you never thought you would see on his being. A somewhat glassy look was in his eyes, as if he was looking into the fog, desperately searching for something far away.

You knew that you were not that something he was looking for.

"Were you crying?" you asked as you sat down next to him, eyes still on him, not daring to break away for just a breath.

He knew there was not really any point lying about it, for he knew he was easy to read, especially with you since he spent most of his time with you these days, and he nodded in response. He dropped his gaze to his hands, which were balled into fists on his thighs.

"What happened?" you asked, then added hurriedly, "If you don't mind telling me. I won't judge, I swear."

"Sawabe rejected me," he said softly as more tears formed in his eyes, the painful words getting lodged in his throat, "She... she told me she was sorry, that she... likes Oikawa instead."

"I'm... sorry to hear that," you whispered, not really knowing how you should be feeling. A part of you was overjoyed by the thought of Iwaizumi not standing a chance with Sawabe, and another part of you was disgusted at yourself for feeling this way. However, one could not stop the heart for desiring what it wanted.

Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to envelop him in a hug to console him. Iwaizumi wrapped his arms around you in return and gripped onto your uniform tightly, burrowing his face into your shoulder and staining his tears on your blazer. You rubbed small circles on his back to further comfort him, not knowing what else to say but let him cry his heart out and let time soften his sobs.

"It seems like no one'll fall for me," he muttered in self-hate after he could not seem to cry any longer since his throat was getting raw and his tear ducts seemed to run out of tears, then he began to dry his tears and rest his chin on your shoulder as he chuckled dryly, "Not like it's that surprising, really."

"Are you kidding me?" your outburst was incredulous, with you pulling him away from the embrace and staring at him with widened eyes and furrowed brows, "I can't believe you thought so lowly of yourself; I fell in love with you within these two months, you know!"

Once those rambling words left your mouth, you turned red, slapped a hand over your mouth, and bit your lower lip. You began to berate yourself internally, What a wonderful time you chose to confess!

An awkward silence settled between the both of you, and you decided that he was officially disturbed by your sudden (and inappropriate) confession.

"S-Sorry, I should really get going," you muttered, then mumbled a flimsy excuse and dropped your hand to your side, gathered your belongings up, and prepared to leave. You were very much ready to get home to cry, wallow in your misery, and eat a tub full of ice cream.

"Thank you," Iwaizumi said suddenly which caused you to whirl your head at him, a small yet empathetic smile tugging at his lips, "It made my day."

Suddenly, you had this strong urge in you to say something ridiculous that popped up in your head, something that you knew only worked in Korean dramas, not real-life scenarios. However, it was worth a shot, right?

"Listen, Iwaizumi," you said, choosing your words very carefully, "I know this may sound stupid and one-sided, considering how you got... you know." You waved your hand in the air vaguely, not wanting to verbalise what Iwaizumi had been through a couple of hours ago, then continued, "Anyway, I'm sure I can treat you better than her, and I'm sure I can help you get over it."

There was a moment of silence.

Have I gone too far? you thought, fiddling with your thumbs nervously, Maybe I should just tell him to forget what I just said—

His reply cut you off mid-thought, "Then let's date."

"Seriously, [F/N], if you want to look at videos of corgi butts, do so when you're not walking," Iwaizumi sighed as he sat next to the bed which you were currently sitting on in the infirmary.

You, being hooked onto this never-ending list of corgi underside videos a friend had recommended to you, decided it would be a great idea to watch them while walking towards the indoor sports hall. It just so happened you were walking down a rather steep decline while doing so, did not see that you were about to trip over a sizeable pebble, and went tumbling down the hill. Luckily, you were not too high up the hill, so you managed to not sustain any severe injuries other than a twisted ankle. You were even luckier Iwaizumi was nearby, because he had been trying to find Oikawa who seemingly vanished from his classroom ("Probably to flirt with other girls," Iwaizumi would always say with a massive eye roll).

"You really are a good boyfriend, Hajime," you said with a grin as he simply shook his head at you.

It had been about a month since both of you started dating, and you had been trying your best to help Iwaizumi get over his rejection. The first step in your relationship was to address each other by your respective first names (which was your idea). Both of you were a little bit awkward at the initial stage, but soon got over it and became a second nature to the two of you.

"[L/N]? Iwaizumi?"

The curtains separating the both of you from the next bed was swept open by the school nurse, revealing a very pale Sawabe. Her dark hair made a stark comparison to her unhealthily white complexion. To finish off the staggering look, there was a pair of eye bags circling the bottom of her eyes.

Iwaizumi froze in place, like a deer caught in headlights. You immediately noticed this and contemplated whether you should reach over and squeeze his hand gently as a form of reassurance. After all, his hand was now (fortunately) close to yours.

"I guessed it was you guys judging from your voices," Sawabe added with a little laugh (even though no one really asked her).

You did not take the chance and your hand remained glued to your side. Iwaizumi's hand was now drawn back to his side as he stood up.

"Sawabe? What happened to you?" Iwaizumi asked, walking up to her, an even more concerned expression taking over his face compared to the one he had given you, "Where's Trashikawa?"

"Tooru said he was busy and couldn't come, because he said he had some extra volleyball practice he wanted to put in," the brunette replied, "As for me, it isn't anything serious. Just a couple of things went wrong. I'm fine now."

You averted your gaze from the pair, clenching your hands into fists. You knew it was fine for Iwaizumi got get worried over sawabe since they were friends, but you could not help yourself and felt jealous. The way they conversed sounded as though they were dating, which seemed like a punch to your gut.

This also seemed to further highlight your incompetence in the whole point you and Iwaizumi were dating in the first place. Iwaizumi still seemed to hold a special place for his former love after all.

You then knew, I can't hold a candle to Sawabe.

Slowly, you slipped off the bed and limped to the doorway as quickly and quietly as you possibly could. You wanted to leave while you still had some control over your emotions, before it was too late and you started crying and made both a scene and a fool out of yourself.

Iwaizumi never noticed your disappearance, and you never felt your heart ache so badly before.

After practice, you switched your phone on to see a few messages from Iwaizumi. Earlier, you had turned it off after you fled the scene in the infirmary, not wanting to hear anything from Iwaizumi or anyone, really. Since you had busted your ankle, you could not take part in track activities, so you sat by the bleachers and finished up some of your biology homework. In the end, the coach told you to go home and get some rest.

Tentatively, your thumb hovered over his name in your inbox before you finally decided to read his messages.

Hajime: Are you at practice now?

Hajime: Why did you leave so suddenly?

Hajime: I'm sorry, I won't be walking home with you today. I have to walk Sawabe home since Trashikawa is still practicing and no one's home to fetch her.

Hajime: Text me when you get home, okay?

Kissing your teeth, sighing inwardly, and not wanting to answer, you put on some music and shoved your phone into your blazer pocket. Subconsciously, you knew Iwaizumi would still be worried over Sawabe. Your heart twisted in jealousy at this.

When you arrived home, you decided to switch your phone to aeroplane mode to refrain from any distractions while you were revising. The first exam was coming in a month's time; you could not afford to relax. You put on your Spotify playlist meant for effective studying and locked yourself in your room for a solid hour.

After a good hour of revision, you checked the time on the digital clock which stood on your table: 6.45 pm.

The thoughts of Iwaizumi walking Sawabe back home flooded your mind. Did he really move on, or does he still have something for her? Your eyebrows furrowed as your brain spiraled further into confusing thoughts, everything getting tangled in a chaos.

Not wanting to waste any time thinking about it, you buried your face into your arms as you crossed them on your desk, closing your eyes and willing yourself to stop worrying. Before you knew it, you had fallen asleep.

Knock knock. Knock knock.

The sound of gentle knocking woke you right up. Rubbing your eyes and blinking, you caught sight of someone at your window, fist to your window panels. You squinted at the rather well-built figure hovering by your window before your eyes widened in recognition. 

Iwaizumi?

Quickly, you rushed over (all while limping) and opened the window to let him in. Panic filled your veins as you opened the grilles.

"What are you doing? This is the second floor!" you berated him as he tumbled inside and onto your bedroom floor, "Why didn't you use the front door like a normal human being?"

"N-No one answered when I rang the doorbell, so I decided to climb up instead," he answered, and you noticed he sounded out of breath.

"Why are you breathless?" you asked, "Did you run over or something?"

"Yeah, I ran here since I got worried about you," he answered as he tried to catch his breath after sitting up, watching you carefully, "You left my texts on read and didn't read any of my new ones."

You just let out a soft sigh and said, "Come on, let's go downstairs and I'll get you something to eat."

Iwaizumi helped you down the steps (since you were injured, after all) and to the living room and was told to sit down, only he refused, because he pointed out you were still limping. You did not bother to argue with him and let him follow you.

The two of you then headed to the kitchen to get some biscuits and two glasses of milk, which Iwaizumi insisted on carrying. Both of you headed back to the living room with your snacks and sat comfortably on the sofa, with Iwaizumi balancing the plate of biscuits on his thighs.

After a few moments of hearing the sounds of crunching biscuits, he said, "Hey, let's play a game."

"Alright, fine," you said, reaching for another biscuit, "What do you have in mind?"

"Truth or dare," Iwaizumi replied simply, chewing his biscuit thoughtfully, "Now, truth or dare?"

"Truth," you answered without hesitation, popping the biscuit into your mouth.

"What do you think of our relationship?" he asked, then pointing between both of you, "You know, us."

There was a short moment of deafening silence (not even the prior sounds of biscuit chewing was heard) before you answered with a defeated look in your eyes, "There was never an 'us'."

He raised his eyebrows in curiosity, What do you mean?

"I love you," you proclaimed suddenly, turning your head to meet his gaze heads-on in determination.

No response. He just could not bring himself to say it. The words were lodged in his throat, being barricaded by an unknown force from escaping his lips, which were tightly shut. This silence confirmed your suspicions; this silence was as loud as a lion's deafening roar, an obvious statement of impending heartbreak and goodbyes.

"See?" you said softly, tears threatening to spill from your eyes, and you immediately looked away, "That's exactly what i mean."

Quickly, you wiped your tears away, put on your best smile, and said, "Okay, your turn. Truth or dare?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but the sound of his phone ringing cut him off.

"Sorry," he mouthed as he took his phone out of his trouser pocket and glanced at the caller ID (he looked somewhat scared, but of what?), then answering, "Hello?"

"Iwaizumi? Could you come back to keep me company?" Sawabe's voice was unmistakable from the other line, causing you to further shrink down in your seat, "I'm kinda afraid of being alone."

"I'm coming over," he answered without missing a beat before ending the call.

You whirled your head over and looked into his eyes, yours full of hurt and sorrow. Though you knew he had probably never genuinely loved you like a true lover from the start, you never expected him to ditch you for someone else, that someone being the previous apple of his eye.

Though, could Sawabe still be counted as 'previous'? Iwaizumi cared about her; he clearly still had her as his number one priority, it seemed.

Your head started to spin with wild thoughts as you watched him place the plate of remaining biscuits on the table: Was he really going to her? did he never get over her? Did he ever see me as his significant other?

"I'm sorry, [F/N]. I really am," Iwaizumi said, a look of sorrow and regrets gracing his face (the very face you came to love), before giving a slight bow and exiting the house.

You sat there, eyes hollow, head silent, heart broken. You did not know what else to think. The only thing you knew was that you were tired. You were tired of chasing someone who had another goal in their eyes. You were tired of trying to be the missing puzzle piece in someone else's life. You were tired of illusionising yourself that the one you truly loved reciprocated your feelings.

In the end, the joke was on you. You were left alone with nothing else, just you and your broken heart that had been shattered into tiny shards that lay around your feet.

In cliché romance movies, the protagonist gets into a messy love triangle and falls in love with the bad boy.

And in this film, you were just a side character who liked the good guy, but never had your love acknowledged.

You walked into class with your earpieces plugged in, muting the unpleasant world that surrounded you. Life still went on even though bad things happen, but you can still angrily say "Fuck you" to the world who bestowed empty promises upon you and wallow in self-pity.

In all retrospect, you had been thinking about how your relationship between you and Iwaizumi had been, and by judging the latest (dramatic) turn of events, it was not going to get far in the long run.

Once you placed your books and materials on your desk, you could hear a muted voice saying through your earpieces, "Good morning."

Though it was faint through the loud dance music you were playing, you still knew the voice's owner. After all, it was the voice you had come to love, too.

"H — Iwaizumi," you said simply as you took out your earpiece, cursing yourself mentally for the slip of your tongue. (You cringed inwardly at your second action following your response; you probably looked way too excited when you heard him call out to you. Bad habits were indeed hard to break.)

"I-I'm really sorry about yesterday," Iwaizumi muttered, looking down at the floor with his hands shoved in his pockets, not daring to meet your gaze on him that you were actually imposing yourself to do.

Without saying a word, you grabbed his hand and led him out of the classroom. Class was not going to start until another thirty minutes or so, anyway. You had more pressing matters at hand to discuss with him rather than something that was going to be forgotten in a few years.

You swiftly pushed past the hordes of students who were either gossiping about Oikawa, talking about a weekend party, or some other useless junk, bringing him to the school rooftop.

The school rooftop seemed like a secret haven: free of students' chatter, free of judgement, free of suffocating criticism.

You let go of him and walked a few steps forward, your back faced towards him.

"Are... you okay?" he asked tentatively. You had never behaved like this before, so this was completely new for him.

Without turning around, you said, "I've been thinking a lot since last night."

You turned around and looked into his eyes, hoping that what you were doing was right. You did not want to say it (you never would if you had the option to), but you wanted to spare yourself from the torture and did not want yourself to do this any longer. After all, it proved that your attempts to get him to move on failed. Love can be such a powerful force.

"Let's break up," you said simply, trying to keep your gaze levelled and not let your emotions take control and ruin this any further.

"What?" Iwaizumi coughed out with widened eyes, a little dumbfounded by this twist of events. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect you to break up with him. After all, you were the one who asked to date in the first place.

"This relationship is one-sided, and it's going nowhere," you stated, "So there's really no point continuing it. It's hurting both of us. Besides, it seems like I didn't help you get over her."

You took a quick and deep breath and continued, "It isn't good for any of us. so, let's break up and spare one another."

Feeling tears sting your eyes, you quickly strode past him, not wanting to let him see you break down. You willed yourself not to cry until you made it past that door back into the campus. It was going so well, too, so why—

Suddenly, you felt a warm and larger hand take hold of your wrist. The same hand pulled you back into someone's arms. It was Iwaizumi, of course, bringing you into his embrace, just like how you had done for him when you found him near the school gates being upset over Sawabe's reveal of her true feelings a month ago.

"You did help me," he said gently, "You're very special to me, and you've brightened my life. You've made me see the world in a different light, a different perspective, and for that, I want to thank you."

That was not exactly what you wanted to hear, but it still made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. Before you knew it, you found yourself wrapping your arms around his torso and you leaned further in, your head pressing into his chest and you could hear his steady heartbeat resembling a siren song.

"If you would give me a second chance, I will tell you those three words one day," Iwaizumi said, with sincerity embedded in his words.

"So you're going to force yourself to love me?" you asked, breaking the embrace and looking up at him with a somewhat offended look, "Because I don't want you to. It's not right to the both of us."

"I'm not," he answered quickly, then explained, "I'm unsure of my feelings as of now, but if you would give me a second chance..."

He reached for your hand, encased it within his larger one, and continued with sincerity in his eyes, "I'm sure I won't hurt you again."

You bit your lip as your heart struggled to make a decision. The rational part of you wanted to refuse and say no, to put an end to this tragic tale. However, the lovesick fool in you convinced you otherwise. A second chance would not hurt anybody, and maybe there would come a day where Iwaizumi would really say those three words you longed to hear with a sincere heart.

"Alright," you stepped forward and squeezed his hands, "I'll wait for you."

"Thank you," he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into the crook of your neck, warmth spreading throughout his body. Moving on will be difficult, but for you, he was willing to do it and free himself from Sawabe's grasp.

In all cliché romance films, the protagonist gets into a love triangle and chooses the bad boy. The good guy supports them and thinks he is unloved, when there is a minor side character wanting and waiting to be with him, for him to extend his hand and accept their love, but never getting their happy ending.

It seems like, in this romance movie, the side character does get their own happily ever after after all.

[luvismenu]

Little cute drabbles ideas for owiu. Obviously write only what you feel like and whatever speaks to you.

- oc brings jk to her parent’s house. Usually it’s very stressful for her but with jungkook by her side she’s more calm. This is probably fits after the series ends?

- smutty scene from jk pov. Guilty confessing that I currently write one for my fic, because I love we can see how whipped the man is. This can also be trying something new for them / jk is trying to do something he thinks oc would love. I just love their sexual chemistry.

- they go for a real first date.

I tried to think about something angsty because it’s usually my go to, but I can’t think of any. Maybe they’ve been through enough.

these are amazing!!! aaaa it's so hard to pickkk—

imma let u guys choose one keke

(read under the cut if u want a glimpse of the drabbles, to help u choose one!!!)

parents scene would be funny cuz jungkook's gonna be like "oh yeah i will impress them, dw about it" and oc thinks that they would love him immediately but in reality it's gonna be a little awkward cuz her parents are kindaaaa on the strict side so ykyk there would be ✨some tension✨ like—

“i think your parents hate me,” jungkook murmurs into your ear

you immediately shake your head, offering him a reassuring smile. “they’re always like that, babe. don’t overthink it. we’re just here for calvin,” you say, throwing a pointed glare at your brother.

calvin stifles a laugh, clearly enjoying the situation. “maybe your boyfriend should join dad and me for golf tomorrow,” he says casually, but the glint in his eye tells you he’s doing this on purpose.

jungkook stiffens, and you don’t miss the way he subtly swallows hard. his gaze darts to your dad, who’s glaring at him like he’s the villain in some movie. and you can almost feel jungkook’s soul leaving his body.

“great idea,” you say as you pat jungkook’s arm, trying to ease some tension. “i’m sure he’d love to spend some quality time with you two.”

“what?” jungkook hisses under his breath, eyes wide with panic as you flash him an innocent smile.

“it will be alright, babe. i'll be with you.” you whisper

jk's pov during a smut scene is gonna be sooooo crazy omg, he LOVES her okay, would basically be a "whipped jk moment" likeee—

“f-fuck baby, so fucking pretty—god, you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen,” he growls into your ear, his voice low and rough as he pounds into you from behind. one hand grips your hip tightly, guiding you back onto him, while the other rests on your neck, firm but never rough, just enough to hold you in place.

“y-you’ve seen other women?” you gasp out, your voice breathy but still trying to tease him.

the corner of his mouth tugs up into a smirk before he presses his chest to your back, his lips brushing your ear. “no other woman could ever compare to you, baby,” he murmurs

his hand trails down from your neck to cup your breast, his fingers brushing over your nipple as he whispers, “you’re a goddess. the prettiest damn thing i’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“all fucking mine,” he mutters, more to himself than to you.

their first date would be cute jsjskegishe just some fluffy moments + banter cuz why not lol they're crazy like—

“what are you looking at? don’t tell me there are men here more handsome than me,” jungkook asks, casually twirling his pasta onto his fork, though his tone is playful.

you pause, narrowing your eyes at him before an idea sparks in your mind.

“yeah, actually,” you say with a smirk, leaning forward “i was checking out those guys over there.”

his fork freezes mid-air as he frowns and immediately glances in the direction you’re looking. his expression shifts to confusion when he spots two elderly men engrossed in conversation.

he turns back to you, rolling his eyes. “it’s our first date, and you’re already eyeing other men? seriously?” he jokes, but the way he says it makes you laugh.

“what did you expect?” you tease. “i was just looking around because, seriously, this restaurant looks ridiculously expensive! how much are they charging you for this pasta?”

“does it matter?” he grins, leaning back in his chair. “i think you deserve everything, baby”

ty anon ily!! ��

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: What Does Libra Season Have in Store For You? ☁💗🌆

Happy Autumn folks and welcome back! I'm stoked. I enjoyed my first day of Autumn with some good ol cider. This is looking to be a very busy fall season!

NEWS! Starting tomorrow I will be heading out on a vacation trip for a little over a week where I'll be away from Tumblr for the majority of the time, so things will be pretty quiet on this blog until mid-October. But stick around because when I come back, I'll be bringing some Tarot games with me, sprucing up my page, and more! 🍎

(I also got a new desk which is going to make card spread layouts so much easier! kazoo)

So for now, I thought I would tune into the vibes of the upcoming sun in Libra transit and catch a brief glimpse into what it has prepared for you all this crispy cool season.

(Content warning: there is an image containing blood on one of the cards. It's from the Shadowscape Tarot deck. I will find a way to modify this card in the future.)

Please select one of the three sunset skies below. I will dub them Peach (1), Fuchsia (2), and Violet (3).

Pile 1: Peach Sky

Ace of Pentacles, Page of Cups, King of Pentacles, Six of Cups, Ten of Swords; Compassion, 21. Venus, 6. Sun - Light, Sadness

Hi pile 1! Your Libra season will be filled with a sense of grace. I feel like you've been going through some struggles lately and you're wondering if help is available. Libra season may be a good time for you to reach out to loved ones and anybody who can help you in your current struggle. It could be related to money. You're going to be near those who understand your troubles and may have advice which can re center you. With the open minded Page of Cups, you may receive a nugget of wisdom which can propel you to create something new.

You'll be able to reconnect more with your inner child during this next month. In the midst of struggling, we can often forget or neglect our child side which needs to feel safe in order to come out of hiding. You'll have chances to let small joys assist you in healing. Try watching that movie you've been thinking about, you might end up really enjoying it. These moments can help give you important insights into helping you heal something that's kept you down in the dumps.

You may likely have episodes throughout the month where your energy and drive take a dip and you'll have to sit some stuff out to process your thoughts for a while. I'm feeling a lot of this gloomy Ten of Swords energy is from various past issues. Nothing in your deck suggests rushing through this, if anything the King of Pentacles says "success isn't an overnight thing". Take the time you need to work through old sticky feelings that stop you from moving forward.

A lot of self care will be required for this solar season, pile 1. Give yourself the occasional indulgence, but look closely over your finances this month. Don't use indulgence as a distraction from getting important work done. Libra is a season of balance, and this pile is about the balance between prudence and play. Make time to regenerate yourself with fun, then tend to needed duties. Do what you can and stay open minded to receiving outside help from guides or people.

Pile 2: Fuchsia Sky

XVII Star, King of Cups, X Wheel of Fortune, Three of Swords, Six of Wands; Listening, 29. Ceres, 3. East - Beginnings, Frustration

Hey pile 2, it seems like for the first time in a while things may finally be looking up. During this time, you could meet someone who will be like a counselor figure to you (or an actual counselor). You will have someone who will be there to understand you. I get the impression that you recently went through some form of upheaval and lack the sensation of solid ground. Things are likely still in a state of flux during Libra season, but since the King of Cups has no trouble sailing over choppy waters, you can lean on that wisdom and spiritual strength to get through.

A lot could be changing in your life, or even that you're in the liminal phase of being from one place to another. It's like you're holding a train ticket that lets you visit any city you want. You're beginning to scratch the surface of what possibilities are out there for you. Decisions are hardly in the books right now. The key is to tend to what opportunities you would love more than others and allow the one you want to grow. Ceres wants you to be patient and deliberate with your moves.

Situations may come up where you're made to reckon with your old memories that have caused pain. I'm putting a content warning for blood on this pile and to be honest, even if blood doesn't trigger you there may be times in this month where something may trigger old wounds when least expected. On the flipside, this month also shows that you are undergoing a lot of change as to how you deal with these situations. Your reactions to old stimuli may change and you may find yourself being cool where you were once upset.

Although hope is forecast in your reading, you may not be in the right place to ring any victory bells. Achievement of something major is not likely to happen this month, for you pile 2 this will be a developmental month that will allow you to gently transition into the next phase of your life. Be sure to check in with yourself every now and then to congratulate yourself for the little things, even--no, especially when progress appears slow or all over the place. The time will come where you will feel more focused and determined to tackle something big, but for now appreciate the small victories and rejoice in silver linings of any kind.

Pile 3: Violet Sky

Page of Swords, Five of Cups, Eight of Wands, Ace of Wands, Five of Wands; Mystery, 6. Virgo, 22. Air - Motion, Love

Hello pile 3, This Libra season will likely involve education for you of some kind. You may be a student in school now or you're out of school but looking for something new to try. You could also be looking into new ideas or plans for your next year. I think this pile is really into the autumn season, like you guys are ready to let it go and slide into the next year. This season has you in a contemplative space where you get to weigh options. Though you may find some time to work things out, I think the month will move faster for you than you think. (If you're applying for scholarships or the like, check your emails vigilantly.)

You will definitely be blessed with a feeling of catharsis, as Five of Cups can talk about pure emotional release. Something has likely been an issue either in the front or back of your mind, some kind of long term issue involving relationships and making goals work. Your mind has spent enough time whirling around trying to solve the problem with pure logic. The only way to let go of the scattering thoughts is to allow the emotions locked in to completely flow out. Then the logic will work more effectively, like taking a jammed piece of paper out of a printer.

Some of you could have recently broken up with someone and you're figuring out how to move on with your life. Or there was a recent argument with a loved one. Something like that which creates a need to reevaluate one's path. Since one path didn't work out, what other options could be on the table? You're being given the chance to dive into anything without anticipating results good or bad. Allow yourself to explore and find something that either creates joy or helps you to release old pain (like an artsy workshop).

This month could open up a lot of chances for you to organize and set easier priorities for your life, for this year and the next. The catharsis will finally allow everything to move, both your actions and manifestations. You'll be amazed by how quickly and smoothly the pace will pick up after relationship issues are placed on the backburner (unless there's an urgent issue involved). Note that catharsis doesn't always involve crying it out; sometimes it can be done through a good laugh or even a great workout. You could find emotional release through whatever it is you'd like to learn. For some of you, this is your sign: It's worth looking into.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[hyunin]

every month of 2023!

got tagged by @strayklds to do the classic yearly wrap up of my most popular and/or favorite things i made this year and it's always fun so i will do both 💓 plus some commentary because i can't shut up. i'm going to do it on this acc instead of yangjeongin so i can tag my non-skz cc friends properly, but i'll include stuff from across all blogs 🥳

i'm not sure who got tagged to do this already and who didn't so i will just tag some pals/favorite ccs and anyone that sees this should feel free to do it and say i tagged them if u would like!

@foxinys @seo-changbinnies @miyawaki @wahgifs @twoce @dinoboos @agibbangs @xiaojuun @exocean @hyunsung @huiracha @seungs

putting everything under the cut let's go

JANUARY popular: slutty hyunchan. i get it. also didn't realize this got That many notes asdlfkasjdlgk favorite: 2022 mbc gayo hyunjin. i just thought my coloring was neat for this. first set of the year also!

FEBRUARY popular: wolfgang ending fairies. these are ugly idk what y'all were on about but okay it do just be like that sometimes favorite: yellow wood era hyunjin bday countdown set. this was in the top 3 of my fav sets from this countdown in general

MARCH popular: hyunjin's 2023 bday set. thank god. looking back at this is making me emotional actually just kidding it was this one. boooooo fine he's cute i get it. favorite: i had a ton of countdown sets this month and i liked a lot of them but in retrospect i think my fav is the christmas evel era one. shoutout to oddinary and in life too.

APRIL popular: this random hyunin set for some reason. ok favorite: dfesta the movie 12 set i guess. these were good hyunjins and april was a flop month for me lowkey

MAY popular: hyunjin just standing there at the one versace event. i still hate y'all for this favorite: i think the hyunjin maniac tour mini vlog actually. kinda surprising myself with this one but i just think it's very cute. makes me happie. maybe this one tho. idk. i like the coloring on these too. whatever! this month was kinda mid no standouts to me

JUNE popular: hyunjin doing That move in s-class. so true favorite: the introducing skz gifset of the era. not my best of these but still my fav this month

JULY popular: TAEMIN AND HYUNJIN DESERVEEEE favorite: maybe taemin and hyunjin as well bc it changed my life but hyunjin's cardboard cutout of chan is also a fav because it makes me laugh every time

AUGUST popular: hyunjin at kcon la. i get this too favorite: hyunin squish compilation. very important 2 me. but a rare main blog contribution, i love this eunbi set i made.

SEPTEMBER popular: we had multiple sets do numbers this month actually but precious nacific hyunjin wins somehow. i made this set so randomly but it be like that sometimes (2) favorite: 230908 hyunjin not even because i like the set that much but just because it's a hyunjin of all time and he deserves recognition

OCTOBER popular: angel rockstar trailer hyunjin. yeah favorite: i don't know guys. everything i made this month was so mid. nothing notable at all. so i'll agree w the people on rockstar trailer hyunjin

NOVEMBER popular: dramatic hyunjin. i don't like my coloring for this but he was so funny so i can accept it favorite: i think 231118 music core hyunjin?? i like the nine set i made for this day a lot as well bc i'm just obsessed w this look but i think i like the stage gifs better

DECEMBER (so far) popular: dancing sweaty hyunjin. y'all are so weird but i'm the one who giffed it so, favorite: hmmm i think the hyunin set just because they r so important to me and i had fun giffing it

thank u to everyone that read all of this and that liked and supported my content this year 🫶 looking forward to what 2024 brings <3

[edupunkn00b]

The Uses of Adversity, Ch. 13: Two Days Later

Prev - Two Days Later - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Two weeks and two days later is Star Wars Day, May the Fourth. Logan's Birthday. Guaranteed to be a day to remember.

When we, spoke we, knew it wasn't over When I, spoke I, know it tortured us both Two days later, two days later and calm - Two Days Later, by Fink

Logan’s very obvious panic attack seemed to have awoken some sort of friendly protectiveness in Roman and he’d reached out every day since it had happened. Even during his week-long trip back to London, Roman hadn't let a day go by without reaching out in some way.

Typically, it was simple texts in the morning, Logan's morning. But sometimes, well after dinner but before Logan was asleep, Roman would call, as well. Logan knew it wasn’t necessary, he was fine but… he found it impossible to force himself to discourage the calls and messages. He was now more sure than ever that his earlier musings on what Roman might have been about to say that lovely evening was nothing like he’d thought. Hoped for? Still, Logan couldn't help but look forward to starting his day with their little chats over his morning coffee.

Good morning, Lo! May the Fourth be with you!

Setting down his mug, Logan chuckled and typed back.

And also with you. 🌟 

He paused for a moment, thumb hovering over the send button. Finally, he quickly tapped out another line and sent the message before he could think too much about it.

Do you have any plans tonight? Virgil and Remy came down and we’re going to have a Star Wars Marathon. We’d love it if you joined us.

Three little bubbles popped on the screen for a long time and Logan took a slow draw of his coffee, bracing himself for a thoughtful, gentle rejection. He shook his head, frowning at his own thoughts. It wouldn’t be a rejection, he’d simply asked a friend to join him and his sons for a movie night. It wasn’t a… a date.

I’m sorry, I have plans. Maybe next time? 🤞

The phone didn’t at all tremble in his hands as he tapped out a response. He merely typed too quickly to hold it steady.

Yes, of course. I did not intend to put you on the spot. Another time would be wonderful.

Logan waited, sipping his coffee, but though his message flipped to ‘read’ immediately, Roman didn’t respond. The cold certainty that he’d made a mistake crackled, blooming in his belly and growing through his chest with each tick of the kitchen clock. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You don’t invite people to a social gathering the morning of. Let alone on a Friday night! What, you seriously thought Roman Prince didn't have a date and would just be sitting at home waiting for you to—  Logan took a deep, shaky breath and slowly let it out. He would do better. Roman was forgiving. Desperate not to end their conversation on such an awkward note, he finally tapped out another message.

I hope you have a great day!

He locked the screen to stop himself from staring and waiting for a response that wasn’t coming. Slow steps shuffled down the stairs and he shoved the phone into his pocket and refilled his coffee. Remy entered the kitchen, still in pajamas and tapping at his own phone. He and Virgil had gotten in late last night and it looked like he’d had trouble falling asleep after the adrenaline of a long drive. “Good morning, Remy,” he called and Remy stood still, thumbs bouncing against his phone. “Would you like some coffee?” Finally, he stopped and looked at him.

“Morning, Dad! Happy Birthday!” He pocketed his phone and nodded before hugging him. “Yes, please! I'll always say yes to coffee!”

~~~

At the sound of footsteps down the carpeted hall, Janus frowned at the clock, then looked up from his desk. He should have had at least another hour before the office grew to its usual frenzied pace, starting the never-ending stream of people at his door. His frown softened when he caught sight of carefully polished shoes and razor-sharp creased pants.

“Logan?” Said shoes froze mid-stride outside his office door and Logan turned to face him. “Would you come in here, please?” 

“Oh, J—Janus,” he sputtered, clutching a thick redwell of case files close to his chest. “I—I did—didn’t realize you were in yet.” He adjusted his glasses. “I—I mean, n—not to say—”

“It’s alright, Logan.” Janus attempted a smile. The man’s nervousness was contagious and recent… developments had left Janus doubting his assumptions about him. “It’s safe to admit your observation that I’m typically not the first one in the office each day. Leadership has its privileges, after all,” he deadpanned. Logan didn't crack a smile.

Janus gestured toward the chairs across from his desk. “Please, Logan, sit down.”

Nodding once, Logan stepped inside, spine straight and face carefully masked with his all-too-familiar ‘approach the bench’ expression. “At ease, Logan,” he said, closing the folder in front of him and steepling his hands as he sat back in his chair. He waited until Logan sat down, hands folded primly over the casefiles in his lap.

“You are correct that I’m breaking character a bit here,” Janus began. “Devin’s recent… behavior—”

“You mean assault?” Logan raised an eyebrow, still sitting arrow-straight even as he frowned back at his boss. 

Janus fought a smile. There’s the lawyer. He nodded, “Devin’s assault showed me I have had a few blindspots around here.” Janus fucking hated admitting he was wrong but he had to concede to himself, if no-one else, that Logan had tried to warn him, had advised him to pay more attention to Devin’s actions.

After everything he’d learned, fucker had been right to take the deal.

Licking dry lips, Janus fished around in his pockets for mints and reached for his water. He rapped his fingers against the bottle, relishing the cold burn of the water and peppermint down his throat. It wasn’t what he really wanted. But it helped.

“I’ve spent the past three months reviewing everyone’s caseload and docket history.”

“Everyone’s cases?” Logan asked. His expression didn’t change but his eyes jumped down to the stack of files on Janus' desk.

“Everyone’s,” he confirmed. “Both for paying clients and pro bono cases.” Janus frowned. The deafening silence pouring in from Devin’s empty office on his left and Marge’s empty office on the right had grown distracting over the weeks and months since he’d introduced Roman and Devin, ever since his former best friend had revealed just how slimy he really was. Their emptied offices were a constant reminder of how easy it had been to let ‘just a little’ favoritism snowball into blinding him to their poor performance, as well. 

Logan’s eyes followed his gaze but he didn’t ask for details on his former colleagues' sudden—and vocal—departures. He’d been the only one in the office who hadn’t. He’d just kept his head down and picked up more than his fair share of their abandoned cases. “The rumors are true,” Janus confirmed. “I’ve let several people go.”

He waited, but Logan only nodded, still listening. Janus sighed. He almost wished he’d smirk, say ‘I told you so,’ dance on their graves, anything… human. He just sat there like the fucking robot Devin—

Janus blew out a sharp breath, stamping out the thought before it could fully bloom. “When I was reviewing your docket, I came across the old petition records of that anti-equality initiative.” Logan nodded, brow furrowed. “A name leapt off the page.” He blinked again, lips twitching at the corners like he was forcing himself not to speak. They both knew Logan knew exactly which name he was referring to. “Your old last name,” he finally said. Janus crossed his arms, a flash of his original anger seeping out.

He’d been fucking livid when he’d spotted Kelly Jessica Croft signed in big, looping letters on the first page of the signature list. Fortunately, he’d been alone in the office, so no-one had overheard when he’d called his husband to complain.

“I can’t fucking believe it!” He’d paced the office, Remus on speaker phone so he wouldn’t shout into his ear. “I just can’t fucking believe it! This motherfucker simps and nods, all respectful with his fucking creased pants and he turned around and had his own wife run a goddamned petition against the law! Our law!”

Remus didn’t speak, and the only sound coming over the phone was the ratatatat of his brushes beating against the side of his easel.

“I can’t figure out what his angle was. Why fight his own fucking law? He wrote the damn thing! Was it the money?” Fuck knows they’d all had to pull overtime when the Save Our Families initiative had gathered enough signatures to be taken seriously. Ultimately they’d prevailed, but…

“It just doesn’t make any sense. He’s named as the primary author of the legislation. He didn’t need to fuck around. If he’d wanted more money, more attention, a better office, he could just write his own goddamn check! There were firms across the country battering down the door to meet with him. He didn’t need to do this he—Oh!” Janus' voice dropped to a whisper. “Oh, fuck.”

He stopped pacing, both hands coming up to his temples. Yep, that was a migraine coming on. He fumbled in his pocket and popped three Altoids into his mouth and crunched hard. “You don’t think he was feeding information to the Eyman group, do you?”

“Okay, Jannie,” Remus finally said, and the little shk shk of his mustache brushing against the mouthpiece yanked Janus’ attention back to the present. “Take a breath. Let’s think this through, together, okay?”

He waited, probably with that infuriatingly adorable smirk, until Janus took three slow breaths.

“Okay. When the law passed, he coulda strut around that office, right? Gotten any new title he wanted and just rode those laurels until it was time to retire, couldn’t he?” Remus’ voice was low and quiet, and Janus deflated, sinking down into an armchair near the window. He nodded silently and Remus continued as if he saw him.

“But he didn’t do any of that, did he?”

Janus sighed. “No,” he said, still frowning.

“What did he do?”

Scoffing, Janus got up and checked the 2012 docket list. “After the initiative was struck down, he requested three new pro bono D.V. cases, claiming with Marriage Equality complete, he had time to pick up ‘his slack.’” He swallowed against the sour taste in his throat and popped another handful of peppermints into his mouth. 

“Jannie,” Remus cooed. He felt like he was the one being cross-examined, the noose slowly tightening.

He sat back in his chair, eyes falling shut. “What, Muse?” The throbbing in his head slowly eased.

“So his wife’s name—now ex-wife’s name—was on the petition…”

“Her name’s on the fucking presentation page." He sat up again, rage energizing him. "She had to be one of the organizers. The whole thing was probably bankrolled with his Q-Law salary!” Janus sat up, stabbing a finger down the hall toward Logan’s office. “He probably signed it, too!”

“And how long did you spend pouring over the old paper documents searching for his name before you gave up?”

“Two—”

He could practically hear his husband’s eyebrow raise over the phone. 

“Two and three quarter hours,” Janus murmured.

“And had he signed it?”

“No. But I might’ve missed something.”

“Jannie…” Remus purred and Janus leaned back against his chair, arms crossed in front of his chest. He knew he looked like a petulant child but he was too angry to give a fuck. “So, if all signs are pointing to him not signing the damn thing, and when he could, he didn’t take an easy opportunity to gain fame and wealth and, frankly, a fucking target on his back…” Silence poured over the phone line. 

“So why didn’t he?” Remus asked, gentler than he probably deserved.

Janus picked up the file. He’d spent hours re-reading Logan’s case notes, checking the filings… there was nothing suspicious save for his fucking wife’s name on the petition. Had Logan had some grand scheme? Had Janus somehow stopped him from taking the next steps in whatever the fuck he was trying to accomplish here? Or was Logan completely incompetent and couldn’t recognize when to strike?

“Maybe it's the other way around.” Remus’ voice cut through his wandering thoughts.

“What do you mean, ‘other way?’”

“So this guy used to be married to some Karen—”

“Kelly,” Janus smirked.

“Even better,” Remus cackled, the unexpected sound pulling a chuckle from Janus, as well. “So he’s married to this bitch Kelly who runs a campaign against her own husband’s work…” Janus dumped the last of his mints in his palm and popped them into his mouth. “The same ex-wife who watched over him like a fucking warden at the Q-Law parties, right?”

“The few he’d bothered to attend,” Janus had muttered. Something itched at the back of his mind but he couldn’t quite scratch it.

“Maybe ask him about it before you accuse him of legal espionage, huh?”

It had taken Janus three days to calm down enough to decide what to do. And another three days to call him in to discuss it. He hadn't been delaying the conversation, he’d… he’d just had a very busy calendar.

Finally sitting across from Logan in his office, he watched the man's guarded eyes, the way they bounced back and forth from the case files and his face. Anxiety sizzled through every movement. Worry. Maybe even a little fear in there.

But no guilt.

“What can you tell me about this?” he asked, setting down the file, open to his ex-wife’s signature. Janus spun it around so he could read. “You were still married when she signed this.” Logan touched her signature and for one sickening moment, Janus thought he might cry. “Did you sign it, too?”

“No, of course not!” Logan looked up at him, mouth hanging open in shock. It only lasted a second and was quickly papered over with a more controlled expression. “Janus, I—” He sat up a little straighter, lips pressed together into a thin, shaky line. “D—did you c—call me in here to fire me, as well?”

“Should I have?” Janus challenged, leaning over his desk and staring into Logan’s eyes.

Logan gripped the case files in his lap before straightening his glasses. “If you can’t trust me enough to believe I wouldn’t sabotage my own work, then perhaps you should.”

Balls of fucking steel. The wobble in his chin and the wetness he couldn’t really hide behind his glasses told Janus he was probably going to go cry as soon as he left the office, but that still didn’t stop the guy from standing up to him.

Janus nodded once. “Actually, I called you in here to offer you the office next to mine,” he looked pointedly at the wall to his right.

“Wh—what?” He almost dropped the files as he scooted closer in his chair. “But tha—that’s the office for the Assistant Attorney in Charge.”

Unflappable my ass. “Exactly.” Janus couldn’t hold back a little smirk. “You want it?”

~~~

The office slowly came to life around them as they discussed—negotiated—Logan’s new salary and a 30-60-90-day plan. Janus listened when he leapt up and taped sheets of legal paper to the wall, sketching out a plan to coordinate with firms across the country to battle the flurry of anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ laws popcorning up in even moderately purple regions. Janus laughed when Logan grabbed a highlighter from his desk without asking, but quickly sobered when he drew lines between them, noting which states were also in the middle of proposing bans on no-fault divorce and obliterating reproductive rights. It wasn’t something they’d been watching very closely at the firm, but the commonalities revealed a chilling strategy.

Again, there was that little itch at the back of Janus’ mind but he shook it away.

“Draft this up,” he nodded, clapping Logan on the shoulder. “Let’s see if it has wings.”

“Thank you, Janus,” Logan smiled. It was small, and shaky and didn’t quite wipe out the worry in his eyes every time he looked over the boxes and arrows he’d mapped out, but it wasn’t that papier mâché grimace of his, either.

Beatrice chose that moment to slip into the office, towering over both of them. “Oh, good, Logan, you’re in here. You have a flower delivery at reception.”

“Oh?” he blinked. Janus could’ve sworn he was blushing as he followed her out to the lobby. 

“Go, on,” Janus nodded. “It’s time for a coffee break, anyway. C’mon," he said, grabbing his blazer from behind the door. "My treat.”

“Yes, silly,” Beatrice patted Logan’s cheek as he passed. “Why didn’t you tell us it’s your birthday?”

Plastering on a grin, Janus crossed his arms and tried not to think about how, just a couple hours ago, he’d let Logan think he’d been about to fire him on his fucking birthday.

A delivery guy stood in front of Beatrice’s desk, arm wrapped around a giant vase filled with pansies and baby breath. An enormous heart-shaped balloon emblazoned with ‘Happy Birthday, Logan’ floated above it. He held a beat-up clipboard in his other arm. Yeah, Logan was definitely blushing.

“Are you Logan Sanders?” the delivery guy asked, holding out the flowers.

“Yes,” he smiled, accepting the bouquet.

“Sign here, please,” he said, watching as Logan signed. He took back the clipboard and left a manila folder in his hand. “You’ve been served.”

Logan looked up at him, brow furrowed in confusion as he held a bouquet in one hand and a thick envelope in the other. “It’s really your birthday?” the guy asked, a twinge of guilt passing over his features. Logan nodded silently and turned over the envelope. He paled at the name of the firm on the front. “Sorry, man,” he shrugged and hurried down the stairs. He didn’t bother to wait for the elevator.

Beatrice nudged Janus forward with a pointed look, then moved down the hall, shooing away the little knot of interns who’d heard the word ‘birthday’ and had gathered to watch. Janus held out his hands. “Would you like me to take those?” he asked, leaving open which he’d prefer Janus held for him.

Logan nodded and passed him the flowers. “Is there a card?” he asked without looking up from the envelope. Hands shaking, he tore off the sealed tab and pulled out a blue-backed petition.

Janus found the card and turned it around to read. A little growl bubbled up from the back of his throat and Logan looked up at him.

“What does it say?” he asked, defeated.

“Happy Birthday,” Janus answered, only half-lying.

Apparently Logan’s bullshit detector was just as finely tuned as his and he reached for the card to read it for himself. “Happy Birthday. Pansy.”

Gritting his teeth, he shoved the card into the envelope and took the flowers, dropping the bouquet of pink and yellow pansies into the trash.

“I think I could use that coffee, Janus, if you’re still offering,” he said, jaw set despite his shaking hands.

“You bet your ass I am.”

~~~

Together, Logan and Janus read through Kelly’s petition to the court. His boss’ muttered curses grew louder with each page.

“What fucking century does she think this is?” he finally spat, shaking his head and signaling a server for another refill. “Dammit, Logan, this is…”

“I have to fight this,” Logan whispered, staring at her proposed parenting plan. Full custody of Patton with no requirement to stay within the school district or even within the state. Monthly, supervised visitation with Logan. A continued residential requirement attached to any future college payments for any of the boys after they turned eighteen.

“Of course you have to fight this,” Janus insisted, looking up from where he jotted notes in the margin. “Fuck that, we have to fight this.” Logan stared at him, the blend of shock and hope on his face twisting uncomfortably in Janus' gut. “Hey, I thought you were smart," he said, trying to deflect. "A man who represents himself is a fool.”

"A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client," he corrected automatically, the barest hint of a smile softening his face. “Are you seriously offering to represent me in this? It’s… it’s a personal matter.”

Janus shrugged and smiled over his coffee. “You can get me back when Remus sues me for custody of our lemurs.”

“You have pet lemurs?”

“That’s the part you find unbelievable, Sanders?”

Logan bit back a chuckle and, by the look in Janus’ eyes, that had been the point. “I have zero doubts about the longevity of you and your husband’s relationship,” he bowed his head, clinking their newly refilled coffees together. “I… I appreciate your help. I…” He blew out a sharp breath and straightened his eyeglasses, an embarrassing lump growing in his throat. “I—I don’t know what I’d do if she took my boys from me.”

Janus clinked back and smiled. “You won’t ever have to find out.” 

After drafting their plan of attack, Logan crossed out the section marked The respondent forfeits his or her right to contest and signed the petition with a flourish. Janus would first enter himself as attorney of record representing him in the proceedings, file a stay, and then submit a claim for discovery. “That’ll take a while, so in the meantime, I’ll need to deposition you. I need all the facts.”

Nodding, Logan looked away. “Yes, of course.”

Janus patted his hand. “Attorney client privilege will be in effect. I won’t share what you tell me with anyone you don’t wish.”

“Of—of course, Janus. I trust you and your integrity. I…” Janus seemed to misunderstand his hesitation and gripped his shoulder.

“I think you’ve probably had enough for one day, let alone your birthday. Take the afternoon off.” Logan opened his mouth to protest but Janus was quicker. “I insist. I’ll draft the papers and we’ll start the deposition… is Monday too soon?”

“Monday would be good,” Logan nodded. Get it over with.

“Monday, then,” he smiled. “Now, I will take all of this back to the office.” Janus picked up his case files, their notes, and the petition from Kelly’s attorney. “You will go home and enjoy your birthday.”

—-

Taglist: @crossiantgay

Ask and ye shall be added

[jeaninelatragedia]

4, 11, 28 :)

questions smiles.

4. what do you look forward to?

really right now, i'm just taking things one day at a time. on the mid term, i'm excited for my wife to move in and to have things settled on for when i finally go to college after two whole gap years... but that's still a ways off.

11. are you listening to music right now?

no, i just got home from watching a movie. maybe in a bit though!

28. i'll love you if...

hmm. well first off if you're sylvia my wife sylvia and reading this (hi!). but a broader sort of love, i think just if you're candid with me, and let me be candid back. i like open discussions!

[theclearblue]

Have you ever had hard time to enter a fandom that is your whole world in your childhood? So I first watch One Piece when I was 6 about 20 years ago, and I really love it (have the tshirt, shoes, manga, etc). And I followed it until I finished high school. But then I suddenly lose interest. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it, just don't want to enter to that fandom again. My anime/manga moots now, don't even know that I used to love One Piece.

What do you think is wrong with me? I still watch the new movie if it came out in the cinema and I don't mind to know the update or spoiler of the story, I just don't want to watch the series or read the manga again. I'm weird, right?

I found your blog because of your JJK posts (now I'm into JJK and have at least 4 ships that I really love) also from you I know that Law got turned to a woman (like really)...

And if you aks me, I have ships (mostly mlm and wlw) from any fandom of manga and anime that I consume, except if those series are from my childhood. Like, I can't seem to ship Zoro and Sanji or any other character from OP because in my mind they are all platonic. But you gave me anime/manga that have a little bit bromance, and I'll ship them of course.

After talk it out, I must look really strange to you right? Sorry for this silly ask. Thanks for your blog, I love them. Also, thank you for your anime/manga recs. As BokuAka shipper that last ask of yours really made me happy that they are at least canon-ish....

I don't really think this is weird at all because this happened to me with a different fandom lol. It wasn't a show, but from ages 11-18/19 I was OBSESSED with kpop. I bought the albums and the merch when I could, my original tumblr blog was an Exo blog with about 900ish followers, it was all I listened to for years. And then one day I just stopped. I certainly was sick of kpop fans but nothing major happened for me to lose interest, I just kind of moved on. It happens. And while I still listen to some kpop, it's all the old stuff that I used to like, I don't go and venture out for new music or interact with any fandom with it now. It's the exact same situation you described I think, I don't hate it! But I have zero interest to rejoin the fandom because I do have issues with it and any kind of interaction is just for me at this point. (The next part is about One Piece specifically so I'm gonna put a cut here cause I wrote a lot lmao)

In regards to One Piece specifically, I think I understand where you're coming from. One, it seems like a lot of fans have lost interest at some point (usually between Fishman Island-Dressrosa, or maybe even up to WCI) and some pick it back up, and some don't. And I get that! I think I came into it at the perfect time where even if there is an arc I don't like as much, I always had Wano and Egghead to look forward to, and the end is now in sight. And reading week to week is always going to be a different experience than blitzing through the series like I did. Fortunately Egghead is amazing week to week, this is some of Oda's best work, but if I had to read week to week during, say, Punk Hazard or Dressrosa, yeah I would have complaints and most likely lose interest lmao. I don't know if this was your experience, but you definitely aren't the only one to have lost interest.

The fandom...yeah I have issues lol, particularly with fans from the West. I went to Japan this summer (before starting One Piece) and looking back it stood out to me that One Piece is EVERYWHERE and it's something that everyone loves regardless of age and gender. There were One Piece themed stores I went into where old ladies and middle aged men and little girls were all clearly invested in this series, and from what I've heard the consensus in Japan is that this series is enjoyed by families. I bring that up because the conversation around One Piece is OVERWHELMINGLY dominated by cishet men, usually in their mid 20s to mid 30s, and it shows. I think it is starting to shift to where there's more diversity in the fandom (or at least seen diversity) but man does it have a long way to go. I'm not impressed by how the fandom has reacted to trans characters, in particular Yamato, a trans male character in Wano where you have people still to this day scream about how he is a woman and will die on that hill. I think the whitewashing should of started being a conversation ten years ago instead of the last year or two. I think the issue of sexism within One Piece is complex, and it's not afforded the nuance it deserves from either side. I've stated multiple times I'm not a fan of powerscaling, but oh god is it terrible here, where it has somehow become prioritized for so many fans, even if it doesn't make sense from a narrative or character perspective. And maybe it's an overall media literacy problem, and I really don't mean to come off as a snob here because I certainly don't pick up on everything, but it's insane how many fans do not pick up on the core themes of the series, and just like it for...the fights. All of this to say, I have frustration as well with this fandom.

With the shipping, just always remember that they are ultimately headcanons, and you never have to agree with a headcanon to enjoy something, even if the headcanon is popular. One Piece can be tricky because I very much understand the desire to view things strictly as platonic, and in fact in canon this is what I want, I don't want any of my ships to be confirmed lmao. Where I get hung up a little bit though is that I think multiple characters in the series are queer coded, whether intentional or not. Of course there are the intentional ones like Iva and Bon Clay and Kiku, but I do genuinely believe a lot of the strawhats are queer coded as well, in particular Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, and Franky. I would be happy to expand on that more in another ask if you would like. But with these characters being queer coded, or at the very least they can be read that way, shipping seems like a natural progression for many fans, even if there is no romantic subtext to speak of. So all in all, I totally understand why shipping is a no go for you with One Piece, but this is my general thought process as I do ship some characters in the series.

TLDR anon is that I don't think you're strange at all, we gain and lose interest in things all of the time, and your concerns with the fandom and the series as a whole are valid I think, I've thought about a lot of the same stuff you have listed here even though I am a big fan.

[modestcatholiclife]

Mid-Lent Reflections

So I'm hoping that today's post will be a little bit different. I've been thinking a lot about this blog and I realised that I've been treating it like an obligation rather than a voluntary personal project.

Since I began converting to Catholicism, things have become rather complication for me. I'm changing as a person and feel very disconnected from my friends, who are all secular, as a result. Additionally, I haven't had a great deal of success in making Catholic friends just yet so I honestly feel quite lonely. During these times, I'm so grateful to God for my lovely fiance who has been the pinnacle of support during this struggle. So this blog gives me an opportunity to talk about those things that I'd like to talk about with friends and potentially connect with people online.

I'd like to try and be a bit more personal and engaging with these posts but I believe that is something I'll find with time. For now, I'll share what I can with you.

Well, right now I'm sick. Nothing serious, I just have a stuffy nose and am very fatigued. I've had to cancel some appointments and interviews and haven't been very productive these past couple of days as a result, which is completely understandable. What's less understandable, though, is that I've honestly been really letting myself down with my Lenten fasts. I haven't been consistent with them at all and the only one I can say that I haven't broken is my fast from meat. I've been on social media almost non-stop and it's been awful. I usually have a block on my phone that keeps me out of most apps from 8pm-9am but I haven't been using it lately. I've been so unproductive for weeks now and have done little to no cleaning around the apartment. It's getting pretty bad here and I'm disappointed in myself. I was hoping to get back onto things this week but of course, now I'm sick. My prayer life has been almost nonexistent. I'm not going to continue, it's not helpful for me to engage in excessive negative self-talk and I should be directing my focus towards improvement, not despondency.

On a more positive note, my early childcare traineeship interviews went incredibly well! So well, in fact, that I was offered the traineeship on the spot during my first interview! I have the contract with me, that I will be signing and returning tomorrow (assuming I'm not still sick) and I'll be starting the job two weeks from today! I've already handed in my letter of resignation to my current job and am looking forward to this new chapter of my life.

I also went to Great Vespers on Saturday night with my lovely fiance. We've just passed the Veneration of the Holy Cross so I have included photos of the Cross from St. Andrew's after Great Vespers on Saturday and St. Volodymyr's after Divine Liturgy on Sunday. This was only my second time attending Great Vespers. I sat near the choir and did my best to participate. Hopefully if I work hard enough, I might be able to join the choir one day.

Lastly, yesterday I spent the day resting and watching movies and anime with my fiance. We watched the first episode of part six of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. So far, I'm not loving it. This is the first part with a female main character and it shows. I don't appreciate how overly sexualised Jolyne is immediately. I'll keep watching it at some point but right now, I'm not super interested. I just watched Chicago for the first time and watching another piece of media about women in prison (even if they aren't there for long) is not capturing my interest. My fiance showed me an episode of an old anime he used to like so I showed him an episode of Ouran High School Host Club, which I watched back in year 7, and he liked it so much we watched a second episode! We also watched Mad Max: Fury Road together. Later on, we watched Josie and the Pussycats, which he highly enjoyed and I would highly recommend.

[spnj2fanlw]

Was tagged by @waywardcheshire to answer these 9 questions.

I will try not to write books for answers but be warned i talk too much... okay here goes:

Last Song: Had Radio Company's Keep on Ramblin' on as I had a nap earlier so something from there.

Favourite Colour: (Yes i gave Canadian spelling) Black. I LOVE Black way too much but if you don't consider that or white colours then its a tie between blue and yellow.

Last Movie/TV show: Supernatural of course for tv. Movie i can't remember off the top of my head so I'll give a second last tv show which was Ally McBeal.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet for sure. I'm so addicted to chocolate and sweets its bad. Then Savory.

Relationship Status: Married to my high school sweetheart. We met when I was 15 and he was 16 and been together ever since. 32 years and still going. We are the epitome of boring old married couple and I love it even when he's a cranky asshole!

Last thing I googled: Hair colour photo's because i decided to drastically change my hair. Think long (mid back) thick and blond to a dark chocolate bob. Needed a big change. Needed to not live with it pulled into a bun all the time because I'm too lazy to do anything with it, lol.

Current Obsession: A friend just recommended Tangents with Tyler and Todd podcast on Youtube and I have binged it all. first they talk a lot about their relationship and history then they get into what they call tea time and those eps are HILARIOUS. Basically people writing in their scandalous situations and the boys comment and give their advice. Once I binged that in like 3 days I then went back to watch all their rv trip (right before covid) and am now watching them set up land off grid during covid, lol. They are the sweetest gay couple who married after university and have been together 15 years and they are the cutest most adorable couple. I cannot recommend them enough to anyone looking for something to watch.

and of course SPN ever since i started it during the pandemic. I will forever be grateful to Covid for this particular thing, giving me time to tackle a 15 season show. By the end of the first year i had seen the whole thing three times already and was deep into youtube con videos.

Last book: Although I used to read romance novels and some biographies all the time I haven't read anything except fanfiction in like a year, year and a half. Too obsessed with Wincest to read anything else these days.

Looking forward to: So many things. Looking forward in what sense... entertainment? Well I'm going to watch the He-Man Revolution with two of my kids tomorrow that we have wanted to see. Looking forward to any J2 content from the next convention. Looking forward to finding my muse again and getting back to writing (really want that one to happen but its been gone since a medications change at the end of summer). Oh here's a personal one, looking forward to more snow so my husband and three kids (teens - 20s) go away sledding and i can have the whole house to myself. peace and quiet!!!!!

How's that?

tagging @fallenfar @fandom-hoarder @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @dadrockenjoyer if you have already done this or just done want to please ignore the tag.

[the-firebird69]

Gumball 3000 2013: John Cena's InCENArator

Now the guys who designed and built this what the licensing and it's long since passed it's been over 10 years and I said go blow you're crazy and you can't give him the licensing it's Trump and his crew if you're getting the licensing they tell you what to do and I'll just say don't do anything and you can't not do anything and he doesn't want any kind of deal other than that so I said you're crazy and BG wants to race so our friend here is saying you can sponsor BG Trump this is the race and this is what it means and I know what you're saying what you're saying is it means we're going to go back after the ships and even though he's not against us we need the ships and we're going to go after the max it'll just be a race we went against him I now figured out something it's kind of a gentleman's way of saying it. I might sponsor BG but then again I might not I don't want to be in the way this race has to go for us and we have to win we have to pick ourselves up and do it I kind of designed this car I know how to make it and I can make it on a Corvette chassis and he says I can help make it so that's stupid now John Cena will be a problem let me know what to do about that we're fighting him to the Bone and a friend says the car probably won't get Bill and it's going to go down it's another bust

Trump

Tell you what I think I can make that car and I can take BG's place and the symbolism will still be there and that's why the movie happened it's a friendly thing it really isn't but we're a mess that's what's happening and yeah they'll take me back for a thousand years and it's over at 2000 and that's what it said sometimes so he knows what it means he's not real deep about it but he knows now I'm going to go ahead and do this and he wants me to he says the whole has to be made of something 2,000 plus and I get that and it might do metal it's lighter it's not then we are beating then Arnold repeating it's a concept and he gets it and I say this it doesn't look like that and they're going to blab all over the place probably blab themselves out of it. Now they're going to try and do it and they're going to run into John Cena and we are too and we need to at the same time over this car and we noticed something he has one and it's fast as hell and John Cena says it's about the right life and we keep making them too long and too big and Hera is smiling with the PowerHouse is big and it's mid engine and you need a Corvette so he said to take the new Corvette and you keep the new Corvette intact to put it back together and you build a new chassis and I'm going to do that too so Ben arnolds you're on and it's for steaks too real Omaha steaks and someday he says it and he says Sunday I can come over and have them but he won't know who won or lost and that's stupid the president is serving the stakes one in the so he's going to know but she will hold the secret we'll have to get her to tell and we'll have to figure it out that sounds great

Mac daddy

Olympus

So our friend here says my nephew-in-law says now what does that mean and it's saying it to him in a future movie with the Indian motorcycle the one holding the steak and he knows it they both know she gets him to forget things fast with the max. Now we're going to head with this idea and the car and that is an awesome car and Max says he has one and you say he has one and he's going to make some modifications he says

Ben Arnold

So it's a little bit messed up it is a bit too high of a profile and I do have to knock it down I did see it's up too high the door opens not like you see when it's close the whole house goes forward like you said but boy that's a lot safer and I didn't know if the slide would work I know how to do that and I'm going to do that it's not minor you have to rebuild it because the molds will be different and as a matter of fact I think you're right I'm going to make the mold for metal it's going to be a real car and he said that actually kit cars are coming out as metal and it's true they are you still need a frame I might try his stitch frame and it says it's lighter and I know it is and you don't have to weld it so I have stuff in testing and I know which one to use and I can send it into ASTM now to get it done and really the Bolton stitch works so well it is so weird and he says you can make motorcycles and I want to make a company recycled motorcycle company I recycled motors but it'll be the name and we can pump these frames out you can send them in the mail almost anybody can get one and he'd have to off-road ones but we got to get going on it and yeah this guy Trump has turned massively evil and he's going to compete with us they already have a car but this is a kit car and his is not and he says that we have to do the race it's a priority and all such other stuff but really we know what it means now we're competing with each other too much it's going to show that and BG gets upset. But here's how it goes he wants to have a bubblegum run and it'll be all these kit cars old and new and it's bubble gum because we're all sitting there yapping and blowing bubbles and people say no these kit cars work and for Christ's sake of you so stupid you must try to bring the humbug and he says I have a better one it's a Bradley he says it's better being both and Jenna will want the humbug she says that's crazy he says the original Volkswagen this is going to be fun bubblegum run and he wants to have all sorts of bazooka Joe there and jawbreakers as a matter of facts a big symbol in racing and you see it before is the world but it's not a joke it's it's a run it's not a rally you get judged on your car and this judges and the trophy he wants to have a big bubble gum ball it looks like when it's not a real one a big jawbreaker with the guy that's made this gold in the whole thing but kind of on one shoulder or it could be holding it we know it's just appropriate because it's a it's a challenge okay this is a feat and this kid here is done a bunch of them and he's made real cars real ones this real car is coming out Mercedes has one like it and Reynolds it just does not do the same thing this is awesome this car is so damn fast and yeah it needs to be lowered he'll stand the road it's too much lift I can't stand this anymore we have to do this and the bubblegum run and we think John Cena and we hope that he comes up with one too and joins the race as a matter of fact that's how we can do it but us too we're going to race it is going to be it too I have to rebuild mine he says why not race as it is cuz we thought it was the best and we rebuild the cars to race again so if I beat him with my car he's going to rebuild it and I'll have to rebuild mine and then Arnold says good and that's how we are we know how it works

Mac daddy

Olympus

You have to help his mom these people helped us for many many years and they're being very mean to them and you guys are too and you have to stop you have to see what this house is all about and what's in it and your idiots go out there but people take the books and read them and we should put them in the national archives and he doesn't want them there but okay

Mac daddy

That would be great otherwise you're going to be lost they are going to be lost and we wrote a lot of books and their textbooks on taboo subjects that are written in a university code meaning if they're poor weather University would require

Cammilla

Oh God we didn't know that

Trump

You never know now let's get some of those

Sarah

Yeah cool right but we need to see it and we'll bring it to the national archives it's hard to do they're relaxed but really they're not protected

Becka

The Max wants them destroyed

Cammilla

[fictionz]

New Fiction 2024 - March

Dark Disciple by Christie Golden (2015)

I couldn't binge SW without going to the library like the old days to grab one of the recent EU novels. This one continues the Asajj Ventress arc that was cut from the final Clone Wars seasons, and I'm ambivalent about the course of events. But it looks like I chose the perfect time to read it because the final season of The Bad Batch will address things that annoyed me about the ending.

Cathedral by Michael A. Martin & Andy Mangels (2002)

It was feeling a bit shaky in the previous novel (This Gray Spirit) with a lot of time spent on less interesting nuance, but this novel saves this short series by trimming off the expositional fat and keeping up the pace. The cliffhanger ending was fantastic and I've been jittery waiting until I can move on to the next one.

Moby-Dick; or, The Whale by Herman Melville (1851)

Herman, pal, I know what you were going for with the middle 2/3 of this book, but that really should've been a standalone expansion. Tolkien (or maybe his editors) knew to leave that to its own thing. In any case, WHAT A BOOK. How is this from the mid-1800s? Great beginning, great ending, interesting middle for those who can get through the instructional texts on whales and whaling.

"leave your laundry on the floor for them" by Pocketss (2024)

It's good to recycle.

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor dev. Respawn Entertainment (2023)

I miss some of the more alien environments from the first game. They definitely borrowed spaghetti western cues from Mandalorian for this, and you see below how much I gripe about that show's influence. Cal's still kind of a dud. But it's great overall. What a fun, huge, expensive-looking game. How does any SW developer going forward beat this?!

Drive-Away Dolls dir. Ethan Coen (2024)

It's reaching out toward those 90s crime comedies the Coens had going, but just kinda falls short. I can't put a finger on what exactly is missing. Maybe it doesn't go far enough?

Madame Web dir. S.J. Clarkson (2024)

One of those laugh-at-the-dialogue-that-isn't-meant-to-be-funny affairs.

Perfect Days dir. Wim Wenders (2024)

I've over the moon for this movie. Just perfect in every way. I felt it in my bones, watched it ten times at theaters all over the area as I chased down showtimes, and I'll gladly watch it again.

The Peasants dir. DK Welchman & Hugh Welchman (2024)

Holy crap, I missed Loving Vincent but this makes me wanna go and check that out, because this animation technique is gorgeous. All of the performances were great, too.

Stopmotion dir. Robert Morgan (2024)

Stopmotion, puppets, horror, madness. It's a perfect combination.

The Taste of Things dir. Tran Anh Hung (2024)

I haven't seen food shot this beautifully since Food Wars.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – To the Hashira Training dir. Haruo Sotozaki (2024)

Never watched an episode before and I can say that was a helluva fight.

Maestro dir. Bradley Cooper (2023)

Man, I mean, he did it, he sure damn did it, but should he have?

Land of Bad dir. William Eubank (2024)

When the shit hits the fan.

Imaginary dir. Jeff Wadlow (2024)

I was in from the get-go, but it did need a certain something. Maybe 25% more creepy toys.

Love Lies Bleeding dir. Rose Glass (2024)

You'll think you know where it's going but it does not go there.

The American Society of Magical Negroes dir. Kobi Libii (2024)

Justice Smith and An-Li Bogan did amazing work in The American Society of Magical Negroes. Everyone in the cast and crew, really, but they portrayed a lot of complicated feelings and fears with aplomb and also had a really sweet romantic scene that got to me like no romantic scene in recent memory. I fell for Bogan’s character just like Smith’s character did. (And they respond to that by the end.)

Shayda dir. Noora Niasari (2023)

Scheming and plotting to convince my higher-ups to cast Zar Amir Ebrahimi in any of our projects because I just wanna see her cast in more stuff.

One Life dir. James Hawes (2023)

More than most of us.

Problemista dir. Julio Torres (2024)

When there's no choice but to suffer and no one will understand.

Luca dir. Enrico Casarosa (2021)

Oh, this is just The Little Mermaid retold (affectionate).

Late Night with the Devil dir. Cameron Cairnes & Colin Cairnes (2024)

They needed more insanity and a higher frequency of it.

Immaculate dir. Michael Mohan (2024)

Whoa BUDDY, props to Sweeney for going for it in the end.

Exhuma dir. Jang Jae Hyun (2024)

I feel like I'm missing a critical cultural understanding here to get past my tepid response.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 dir. Rhys Frake-Waterfield (2024)

I didn't need to do this again.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire dir. Adam Wingard (2024)

Closing in on minimal humans and maximum giant monsters.

The Bad Batch - Season 2 (2023)

Yep, nailed it. They have great character moments here and it continues the tradition of "oh the clones are more interesting than most everyone else."

Andor (2022)

First half is two thumbs up, second half is one shaky thumb up. Big Mandalorian vibes with the whole return from whence you came narrative arc. I'd like to see them break away from Favreau's influence (I unfairly pin the live action ups and downs on him).

The Mandalorian - Season 3 (2023)

It's getting weird with the father figure thing. And it's befuddling when one has to catch a different show to understand key beats in Mandalorian and Grogu's story. Hype status for more seasons is low.

Ahsoka (2023)

The get-togethers are fun, but it meanders a bit and the ending was a headscratcher. Great combat and Star Wars-iness though. I'd come back for more with a hopeful glint in my eye.

Star Wars Resistance (2018-2020)

They could've had something good here, but they really whiffed most of season 1. It starts to get good at the end of s1 and maybe through half of s2, but then they seemed to tie things up hastily when they knew they were getting cancelled. Can't recommend. :(

Tales of the Jedi (2022)

Anthology Star Wars?! Anthology Star Wars!! They make me care about characters from the movies that meant nothing to me, as is Filoni and co's way.

Star Wars: Visions (2021-2023)

MORE anthology Star Wars?!! And "Screecher's Reach" in the second season kinda wrecked me. Just typing this out makes me think of it again and the tears well. It's from the Secret of Kells studio and it's just a phenomenal short. Both anthology shows are must-watch.

The Outer Limits - Volume 2 (1964)

I'm surprised how little of this first season carries through to the 90s revival that I love so much.

[smireyac]

hey hey hey it's that time of year again 🎇

oh look an emoji in the title... nature is healing

so it's 9:30... 2023's been... alright, ig? like it feels like things are finally getting back to "normal", whatever that looks like right now... i stopped wearing a mask this year, long after most people ik already did (though considering SOMEONE in this house has covid right now, maybe it's time to buy more kn95s...) and i didn't feel debilitating anxiety being in a crowded indoor space so that means something, right?

once again, these last couple months haven't been so great, personally or globally, and with 2024 being an election year, the state of things feels... uncertain to say the least...

but we're here to look back, not forward (not yet anyway)! SO according to my goal list last year, did i accomplish much?

read 12 books? ✅ i read 20 actually! and not one of them was a graphic novel! ok i lied, ONE of them was a graphic novel but the rest were novel-novels! sure most of them were romance novels but that doesn't take away from the fact that i surpassed my initial goal so!! hooray 4 me 😁

write more? ✅ well, not more than last year but i think keeping up with writing anything still counts !! and i published another fic so!! hooray 4 me 😁

apply to transfer to university? ✅ hell yeah i did !!! and because I'm poor i got 4 free apps to UC and CSU schools!! i applied to UCSD, UCI, UCLA, UCSB, SDSU, CSUSM, and CSULB! i'll get responses back in mid-march/april... i don't wanna get my hopes up for anything... but i am excited to go to actual university, even if it won't be like my peers/the movies... yk bc im a transfer and i'll be 26 by the time i'm actually attending classes instead of a bright-eyed 18 year old, ready to take on the world... we'll see... i'll make this my extremely goofy movie moment if i have to lmao so!! hooray 4 me 😁

do stuff with friends? ✅ while i didn't do all the things i mentioned, most significant things i did this year were with friends!! i went to NYC with remi, and went back to little tokyo with annie and gnat so!! hooray 4 me 😁

make new friends? ✅ i did!! make at least one new friend 😊😊😊 and im very glad for it so!! hooray 4 me 😁

all major goals accomplished!!! ✅✅✅✅✅

hooray 4 me!!! 😁😁😁😁

also of the movies i mentioned that i was excited for, the only one i still haven't seen is the transformers movie lmao 😆 i will eventually

speaking of movies,,, i want to be more into movies this year 🤔 like i watched a number of awards season contenders this year and i kinda wanna be able to make my own oscar predictions this year? I'm also toying with the idea of defending my "movies of all time" list on letterboxd 🤔 (i say toying bc i literally just came up with the idea yesterday lmao) im putting this in writing bc if i don't then it makes it easier for me to not follow through on them, yk? also i have no idea what that "secret writing project" i talked about last time even was lmao

this is all related to my latest existential crisis re: what i wanna do with my life lmaoooo (when aren't i tho frfr) like going to university is the next big step in my life right? and when i tell people that i'm getting an English degree (tho i should rlly start saying literature now) the first thing they all ask is "oh do you want to be a teacher?" which is a HUGE pet peeve of mine because no!! i don't wanna be a teacher!!! that's not the only reason someone would get an English degree!! not that there's anything wrong with teaching, i just don't feel like i... have the right temperament? (tho if i'm being honest, i do have a fantasy of taking over as the film strand teacher when pike retires [but i think that's happening this coming year so that fantasy will remain a fantasy lol]) most recently, i've started saying i want to be an editor but even that feels like a commitment to something idek if I'll be able to achieve (am i commitmentphobic? more at 11) so like !! then what ??? i could try to go further up in the library ? go for a leadership position ??? its stable it has health insurance and a pension... smart things to keep, things i shouldn't disregard frfr i could have a CAREER with the library... but at the same time, i'm like... do i wanna get stuck here? like me and brenden were talking once about how long some of the people working at the library has been there and how most of them are tired and burnt out and

like what if i want to do something else?

my initial plan was to stick with the city for 10 years so i could qualify for the pension and they i might be able to do smthg else with my life while having that pension for later on and who knows? maybe i'd feel like coming back to library when i'm older and wiser??? since i've been here 5 years i thought i just needed 5 more TURNS OUT the 10 years only counts when you became BENEFITED and it only COUNTS YOUR WORKING TIME so even tho i've been here 5 years, im only like 8 months into this pension bullshit bc i got benefits a year and a halfish ago and IM ONLY HALF TIME!!!!!!

[sigh]

so idk!! shit's weird and idk what im doing!! i'm gonna go to school for literature and see what happens while i'm there; i hope i won't have to quit my job but i also wonder what it would be like to go to school full-time, like god intended... i've also considered master's and doctorates but like i feel like i shouldn't worry about that until i at least get through the bachelor's lmao 😆

i could go on (and i might tmrw tbh) but it's also 2am and i haven't even gotten to my goals this year

SO GOALS:

🎇 so first things first: we're keeping up the reading goal! we'll raise the stakes to 20 books since i know i can do that now

🎇 other goal related to reading: i want to read some non-fiction books this year; specific items include kitchen confidential, what we don't talk about when we talk about fat, and any/all of the miami history books i've checked out from the library b4

🎇 ik that my life will get very busy when i get to university so I'm hesitant to have a lot of stuff "to do" but i thought about trying to learn a new skill, specifically blender? bc im obsessed with bigtop burger lmao bc idk i still love animation and it just sounds fun!!

🎇 watch more movies? to do the awards szn thing? like im gonna try for the golden globes in fIVE DAYS? SHIT... well if not the globes then the oscars for sure but man... here's a secret career dream hidden in a goal: film critic? i think that's cool but like what does that even mean for me lmao ANYWAY WATCH MOVIES

i just wanna see where life takes me this year

maybe i'll figure some shit out along the way lol

happy new year babes 💖🍾🥂🎆

EDIT: I HAVE MORE GOALS I MIGHT WANT TO SET

🎇 make a content ? oooo scary ik we hate the word content but i feel like im finally confident enough in myself that i don't feel the excuse "im not good enough" is valid anymore? And sien has been asking to for forever and i think i was supposed to help her do it for her birthday ?? So ive been LACKING lmao

🎇 DM a DnD sesh frfr you've been wanting to for years but u always chicken out bc ur scared well ur reblog all those posts do it scared right? DO IT

🎇 go out to events ? like the poetry reading u were invited to and like u see those posts on insta so like maybe go to them? andMAYBEtrythatspeeddatingtypething???MAYBE.....

[spencer-ia]

A small pleased smile made its way to Spencer's expression, his face turned away from Katashi as he replied, "I'll look forward to it then." Following the other man's lead, the reaper couldn't help but feel like a lovesick teenager at how he was still reeling from Katashi's words, the simple act of imagining what the future has in stall for them giving him a thrill that made him smile like a sap.

The whole thing almost made him forget his bimbofied outfit, until Katashi reminded him of it, of course. Spencer paused, oddly introspective despite the ridiculous situation they were in. "They actually don't feel all too bad to wear, y'know? Showing more skin than usual definitely needs some more time getting used to... but I feel like I'd only be comfortable wearing this around you at first."

Perking up at the first signs of said culprit, Spencer couldn't help but blink at Katashi's words. He... actually didn't think that far ahead. Looking down at his clothes and then glancing around everyone who was still in their own Barbie outfits, the reaper could admit that he was better off than others. Plus, he'd much rather just change out of his current get up than figure out how to de-frog-ify himself.

(Just around the corner, unbeknownst to the two men, the very woman who was the cause of all the turmoil that happened couldn't help but giggle into her hands when she pieced together what exactly happened with Katashi and Spencer."

"Well I'm technically half cured. Thanks for that, by the way. Want to head over to either your or my place instead and do a scary movie marathon instead? Because I don't know how the others do it, but I'm still feeling pretty... conscious being out in public wearing something this short." And just to prove his point, Spencer tugged down his skirt so that it at least reached somewhere near his mid thigh.

barbie girl (spencer & koichi)

[ilyasorokinn]

running scared , matthew tkachuk

note, surprise shawty! this is part of demi's (@antoineroussel) winter fic exchange, so here is my piece. @hockeyshitandstuff this is for you! i really hope you enjoy this. this is work of fiction, everyone keep in mind i read a lot of romance novels, so i love a good cheesy storyline, even if they're stupid and make no sense. flashbacks in italics. another note, i'm making up random people within the media department just because i don't know anyone in within that department and i don't think anyone else does either. thanks :) pair, matthew tkachuk x reader summary, matthew and y/n were best friends since they were kids, but after a falling out in high school, they quickly became enemies. flash-forward a few years, they find themselves forced to work together when y/n gets a job working for the flames media. warnings, mentions of sex (but no smut), mentions of anxiety (but not many), alcohol consumption (all of legal age), a curse word word count, 3547 words (this is really long. wow)

(gif not mine)

Your relationship with Matthew Tkachuk was quite a doozy. You were best friends since childhood, but mid-high school was when things took a bad turn and you started to change.

You and Matthew got drunk one night and slept together. It was heat-of-the-moment, but unbeknownst to Matthew, you had the biggest crush on him, so when you woke up the next morning and found him gone, it hurt.

His siblings, who were more like family, knew of your undying love for their brother/son. So, after you stopped coming around, they questioned Matthew about it, to which he came up with some lie about you being busy.

*FLASHBACK*

"So, where's Y/N?" Chantel asked Matthew as the five of them sat at the dinner table, enjoying their meal.

Matthew set his cutlery down rather aggressively, causing everyone to flinch, "She's busy." He snapped, quickly coming up with a lie.

"Really? I saw her at school today, and she looked almost as miserable as you." Brady cut in, taking a sip of his milk.

"Shut up." Matthew glared.

"Matthew, stop." His mother scolded.

Matthew picked up his fork again and began shoving his mouth with food so he wouldn't have to answer any other questions. After his parents shared a look of concern, they moved on to a different topic.

The next morning at school, Brady spotted you at your locker and sprinted over to you. You jumped when he saw you standing next to you, "Um... hi." You smiled, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Hi." He smiled goofily, "So, we've all been wondering where you've been. You haven't been coming to Friday night dinner or Sunday movie nights. We've all been kind of worried." He told you.

"You're all worried? Really?" You raised a brow, then scoffed, slamming your locker shut.

"What? What happened?" Brady asked, following after you like a lost dog.

"Oh, Matthew didn't tell you?" At Brady's head shake, you laughed, "Of course, he didn't."

"What'd he do, Y/N?" Brady asked.

You looked around and noticed people were not paying attention, but you still grabbed his arm and pulled him down a hallway you knew wasn't busy.

"We slept together." Brady made a face of disgust, "Yeah, think whatever you want of it. But then I woke up the next morning and he was gone."

"What do you mean "gone"?" Brady asked, confused and concerned.

"What do you think I mean? He was gone! No letter, no text, no call, no email, no freakin' carrier pigeon!" You yelled.

"He left? Like in the middle of the night?"

"I don't know, Braeden. Go ask your brother. He's been dodging me since that night. He even asked for a new science partner."

"How long ago was this?"

You went silent, and looked down at the floor, which seemed a lot more interesting, "A month." You finally answered, but your voice was so quiet he almost couldn't hear you.

"A what?"

"A month." You repeated, louder and clearer. He stared at you in shock, "Look, I really gotta get to class." A lie.

"Right, right, of course." Brady nodded.

"I'll see you around." Another lie.

"Yeah, see you around." He nodded again, watching as you walked away and turned to the corner.

*FLASHBACK OVER*

After that day, you completely distanced yourself from the Tkachuk family. You stopped answering their calls, stop going over to their house, stopped any and all communication with them. Matthew made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you. You got the message loud and clear, so you stayed away.

After high school, you moved away as fast as you could. You got accepted into a good college in New York, and moved, not even saying goodbye to the family who had practically been your second family.

-

After college, you moved out of New York after getting a job for the Calgary Flames. You knew it was a hockey town but had no idea who was on the team.

You woke up and your body was filled with anxiety. It was your first day and you were nervous. You got dressed like you would any other day, but internally were panicking and running through every possible worst-case scenario.

"You got this, you got this." You whispered to yourself as you looked over your appearance one last time.

You drove to the arena, swiped your new badge, and found your parking spot, "Ah, you must be the new recruit. Y/N, right?"

"That's me." You nodded, flashing the man a nervous smile.

"Well, the man you're looking for is right down this hallway."

"Thanks." You smiled, gripping the handle of your bag tighter as you walked down the hallway. You knocked on the door.

"Come in." You heard. You pushed the door open to reveal a man sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer, "Ah, Y/N." He smiled.

"Mr. Greene." You smiled.

"Please, have a seat." He gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. You removed your purse and set it in your lap before taking a seat, "So, I see you found your way just fine."

"A little confusing, but there are signs everywhere." You joked.

"Well, we're all super glad to have you on the team." He smiled, "So, let's get started."

-

Within your first day, you were running all around the arena. You were introduced to the other people on the team, as well as coaches, other members of staff as well as players.

"I don't think I'm going to remember everyone." You laughed.

"It's all good. It will definitely take some time, but you'll get it." Another girl who you worked with, Leah, told you.

"Let's hope sooner rather than later." You smiled. She laughed along with you.

"Leah, there you are." You both turned around, and you felt every part of your body just give out on you, "Jacob said you wanted to talk."

"Oh, yeah. We just got a new recruit on the team and we're introducing her to everyone." Leah smiled, "Matthew, meet-"

"Y/N?"

"You two already know each other?" Leah asked.

"No, I've, uh, never met him before." You shook your head.

"But he knows your-"

"Lucky guess." You shrugged, not even sparing him another look as you walked away from him.

-

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and before you knew it, you were coming up on your 6 month anniversary of working for the Flames media team.

You loved everything about it. You were doing the thing you loved in a city that you had grown to love. From the day you met her, Leah had basically taken you under her wing and taught you the ways of life. If it hadn't been for her, you probably wouldn't have any friends and would be spending every weekend alone in your apartment.

In the year you had been in Calgary, you had managed to avoid Matthew as much as possible and only talking to him when needed to.

Within those 5 months, you knew Matthew was attempting to try and talk to you, but every time he tried, you made up some excuse as to why you were busy or couldn't.

"So, a few of us are going out tonight and you're coming," Leah told you, leaving no room for question.

"What? What if I had plans?" You asked.

"Yeah, sitting at home alone eating ice cream with a ladle and watching old reruns of NCIS isn't classified as plans." She raised a brow.

"Yes, they are." You fought back.

"I'm picking you up at 7. You better be ready or I'm gonna beat you up." She threatened.

"Fine, fine." You raised your hands in surrender, "I'll be ready at 7." You nodded, "But you owe me wings."

"Deal." She nodded.

-

You watched Leah dance on the dance floor with the rest of your friend group. You were seated at the table you had "reserved" and nursed a beer instead of dancing.

"I see dancing still isn't something you like to do." You heard a voice from behind.

You rolled your eyes, "What do you want?" You asked.

"What I've been trying to do for months, I just want to talk," Matthew told you.

"And I guess you didn't pick up on the signs. I don't want to talk to you." You sent him a glare, then turned back to your friends.

"Come on." He whined. "This happened almost 10 years ago."

"No, yes I've moved on, but that doesn't mean that I forgive you. What you did that night, hurt, Matthew. And maybe it didn't hurt you, but it hurt me. I really don't get it. How you can go from being someone's best friend then just dumping them." You shook your head and looked around, noticing her were gathering a crowd.

"I'm not gonna talk about this with you right now, or ever for that matter. Just stay away from me." You grabbed your stuff and stormed out of the bar.

"Wait, just... wait!" Matthew shouted, running after you.

"No, I'm really not gonna talk about this with you. I'm done, Matthew. Just please, leave me alone." You begged, walking away from him, the same way he had that night in high school.

-

The next day on Monday, you could tell people were avoiding you, or at least the people who went out on Friday, "Hey..." Leah approached.

"It was a long time ago and I just want to forget about it." You told her before she could even formulate a question.

"All right." She nodded, "Do you have your report? Greene wants it on his desk like two days ago." You handed her the report and she made her way away from your desk.

"A delivery for one Miss Y/L/N." Another intern, your friend Kevin, approached your desk with a bouquet of gorgeous flowers and a box of chocolates.

"Who's it from?" You asked, confused as you reached for the card. You read it, and sighed, "Nevermind." You shook your head.

"Where do you want them?" Kevin asked.

"The trash."

"What? They're gorgeous. Who are they from?" He asked, reaching for the card.

"Yeah, but I'm allergic." You told him, "You can keep the chocolate if you want."

"Ooh." He winced, "I'll get rid of these then, but I will definitely be keeping the chocolate." He smiled, rushing off to get rid of the flowers.

You sighed, sitting back down at your desk and attempting to get back to work, "You're not allergic to flowers." Matthew noted, walking up to your desk.

"What part of "leave me alone" do you not understand?" You asked, letting out a heavy sigh in annoyance.

"Nothing." He smirked.

"I'm serious, Matthew. Just leave me alone." You told him, pushing your chair out and storming away.

-

You were prepping dinner for yourself when your phone rang, "Hello?"

"Matthew called." Your mother told you, not even saying hello back.

"Hello to you, too, mom." You sighed.

"He told us you haven't been talking to him." Your mother scolded. You never told your parents about what Matthew had done. They knew it was some boy at your school, but you left out the part about who it was, so to them, Matthew was still your childhood best friend, the kid that you would build sandcastles with and do science projects together.

"Mom..."

"No, I want you to talk to him. He sounded really upset on the phone." Your mother told you.

"Mom, would you just listen?"

"No." She cut you off, "Talk to him, Y/N." She told you, then hung up.

"I just love these talks, mom." You joked, even though she had already hung up.

-

You stormed into the office the next day on a mission, "You called my mom?" You asked, storming up to Matthew who was getting ready to get onto the ice.

"Well, yeah, you wouldn't talk to me." He shrugged.

"That's below the belt, Matthew. Dragging my mother into this?"

"It got you to talk to me." He shrugged again.

"God, you are so infuriating." You groaned, dragging your hands through your hair in anger, "You wanna talk? Let's talk. We slept together. Great! Totally fine. Then I wake up the next morning, and you're gone."

"I had something I needed to take care of." He answered.

"And you don't call to tell me that?"

"My phone was dead."

"For a month? Your phone was dead for a month? And even then, it's not like we didn't see each other at school. You asked to change lab partners. Stop making excuses and just tell me the truth. Why did you really leave that day?"

"I was scared, okay? We were best friends, and us sleeping together changed everything." He told you, finally being honest.

"Why didn't you just tell me that? You've had almost 8 years to tell me that."

"I was scared you wouldn't talk to me. It took you 6 months to finally talk to me." He pointed out.

"God, if you had just come to tell me that, I would've listened." You told him, a sad look in your eyes.

"Would you?" He asked.

"Yes, I would've." You nodded.

-

"So, let me get this straight." Leah rubbed her temples as you explained the happenings of your's and Matthew's tumultuous relationship, "So, you guys were best friends as kids, then when you were a junior and him a senior, you slept together and when you woke up, he was gone?"

"Yup." You nodded, downing the rest of the wine in your glass.

"Huh." She nodded, "And I thought my love life was complicated." She chuckled, "Did he tell you why he dipped?"

"Said he was scared." You looked down at the empty wine glass in your hands.

"That's such a guy answer." She rolled her eyes, "I hate guys."

"Me too." You hummed.

-

You were downloading photos from a photographer's camera to upload onto Instagram when a box of your favorite chocolates was placed in front of your face.

You looked up, and when you saw who it was, you pushed his hands out of your face and attempted to get back to work, "Look, let me say my piece, and when I'm done, I'll leave you alone. For good." Matthew pleaded.

You sighed, contemplating your options, but finally looking up at him, "Five minutes." You started a timer on your watch.

"All right, I know what I did really hurt you that night, because, in the process of hurting you, I was hurting myself, too." You raised a brow, "Come on, you don't really think all your feelings were one-sided, did you?"

"I mean..."

"Nope, let me finish." He cut you off, "I was scared because, at the time, I wasn't sure if you felt the same way." He told you honestly. You would tell he was being serious and telling the honest truth just by looking in his eyes. Even as kids, his eyes were a dead giveaway.

"Four minutes." You announced.

"I'm not even asking for another chance because I knew I blew it. I'm just asking for you to hear my side of the story before you decide anything."

"And what's your side of the story, Matty?" You asked, the old nickname slipping from your tongue before you could stop it.

At the use of his old nickname, a big beaming smile found its way onto his face, "My side of the story is that I loved you with my entire heart and soul and I was a scared 18-year old kid who was about to move away to Calgary."

"I was scared you didn't feel the same way, and I was scared if we did ever go anywhere, we would become one of those couples in those movies we used to watch together. You know? The ones who would try long distance but would just fall apart after 3 months."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." You nodded, feeling the shell you had built around your heart all those years ago begin to crack and chip away.

"And I didn't want to ruin what we had, but I guess in the end, I ended up ruining things anyways." He looked upset and defeated.

"Do you still feel the same way?" You asked.

"Do I still love you?" You nodded, "Of course, I do."

-

Ever since your conversation with Matthew, it had been running through your mind 24/7. 'Do I still love you?' 'Of course, I do'

"Gosh, darn it!" You cursed as you spilled a cup of water on yourself.

"You all right?" Leah asked, having heard your accident as she walked past the breakroom.

"Oh, yeah, just a little distracted." You smiled, grabbing a few paper towels and attempting to clean off the water.

"Is it Matthew?" She asked.

"How'd you guess?" You sighed, dropping your head in defeat.

"What'd he do this time?" She asked.

"He finally told me the truth about why he left."

"And?"

"Then he confessed his love for me." You whispered.

"What?!"

"Keep it down." You told her, reaching over and covering her mouth.

"What did you say?" She asked.

"Nothing. I was too stunned, so he walked away."

"Well, what're you doing here? Go talk to him." Leah encouraged.

"No, I can't." You shook your head.

"Why not?" Leah asked.

"I just can't." You shook your head, grabbed your mug, which was now filled with more water, and left the breakroom.

-

Leah was getting tired of watching you mope around, so she decided to play cupid a little and decided to talk to Matthew herself. Once practice was over, she set her plan into motion and dragged Matthew away before he could make it to the locker room door.

"What? Leah, what are you-"

"You need to do something." She cut him off.

"Do something where?" He asked.

"With Y/N! She's miserable." Leah told him.

"I can't. I told her I would leave her alone." Matthew shook his head, making the move to walk away.

"I don't care. She might've put on the front and said she was fine and wanted you to leave her alone, but she's miserable. Your love confession sent her over the edge."

"Leah, I can't." He shook his head.

"Are you not listening to me?" Leah shouted, catching the attention of a few players who were walking past them, "She's in love with you!" She practically shouted.

That knocked the breath out of him, "She's in love with me?" He asked, almost breathlessly.

"Yes, you idiot!" She hit him in the side of the head, softly.

"Well, I-I, where is she?" Matthew stuttered.

"She's getting ready to leave. go get your girl, dude. and I'd go fast. She took next week off." Leah pushed him in the direction of the elevators towards the parking garage. It didn't matter that he was still in his practice gear, he would run to the ends of the world if it meant getting to spend a moment with you.

He anxiously bounced his foot as the elevator went down. Once the door opened, he turned in every which direction trying to find you. He finally spotted you, putting stuff into your trunk.

"Y/N!" He shouted.

"Matthew?" You asked, confused. He ran over to you as he could considering he was still wearing skates, "What're you doing?"

"I love you." He blurted out, which shut you up. You knew he did, but hearing him say the words just solidified everything in your brain, "And I know you love me."

"What? I-"

"I know you do. Don't try to deny it." He shook his head.

"Get to the point of whatever this is then." You crossed your arms.

"I love you, and I'll spend every day for the rest of my life loving you. That's a fact and it's something I know is true." Your eyes began to water at the love in his eyes and the tone of his voice, "I know I fucked up, but I was a dumb kid who made a dumb decision. I know it hurt you, and I'm going to make up for it every day of my life."

"What're you trying to say?" You asked.

"I'm saying I want to be with you. I want to try this thing out." He told you.

"Are you being serious? Like, you're not playing around?" You asked, looking at him in his eyes.

"I'm being serious. Not playing around." He nodded. You continued to look into his eyes, the key to tell you if he was telling the truth.

"All right, let's give it a try." You nodded, watching his face light up.

"Really?"

"Really." You nodded, smiling at his reaction. Before you could even get another word out, Matthew was surging forward and picking you up, spinning you around, "Whoa, whoa!" You held onto him tighter.

"Right, sorry. Skates." He nodded, setting you back on the ground.

Once you were on the ground, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, "If you pull something like you did in high school, you're gonna be out for the next season." You threatened.

"I promise I won't do that again." The look in his eyes, once again, told you he was telling the truth.

-

my taglist: @barzysreputation @bords @thombordeleau @puckinrightschicagoo @tysonjost-taylorsversion @Besthockeyfics @boqvistsbabe @joshsandersons @stars-canucks @mitch-slap @punkharts @josthours @iwantahockeyhimbo @blondiekook @2manytabsopen @lady-laura-speaks @youngbeezer @maximoff-xmen @ghostyjosty @heatherawoowoo @hockeyunits @rosesvioletshardy @thescooby-gang @123happyllama @mattyskies @ggggmoneyyyy @voidohanax @4ambagelbites @lovethepreds @colecauliflower @ciziikas @monamourthings-blog @x-a-v20x @satanxklaus @himbobimboeater @Pasta88love @paintlavillered @itssophlouise @lam-ila @HockeyJedi13 @barzysandhughesbaby @kidlnthedark @tkachukitout @drysdaleseyes @jostyriggslover96 @liz-69 @duhaimes @kermits-fat-cock @drei-mrssvechii @shinytoadpandadeputy @rainysuitcaseprunegiant @nicohishcier @sebbyaho @kpopnationunited424 @tpwkstiles @raysofcrosby

add yourself to my taglist!

again, i hope you, @hockeyshitandstuff, enjoyed it. and another huge thank you to demi for putting this together!!

[lostinthewiind]

Piss Off Your Parents - Part 9

Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu

Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.

Rating: PG13

Warnings: arguing, harsh language, swearing

Song → 18 by Anarbor

Previous → Part 8

Next → Part 10

The trek up the stairs from the store to the apartment felt like climbing a never-ending escalator that was going the wrong way. After the day you had had, you were both mentally and physically exhausted and ready to call it a night early.

Thankfully, as if you had finally hit a stroke of luck that day, Keishin had texted you saying that he would pick up dinner on the way home, saving you the exertion of having to leave the apartment again. So, with that information in mind, you kicked off your shoes for the day and fell unceremoniously onto the couch in the living room.

As you sat down, you heard the envelope in your back pocket crinkle and the sudden noise seemed to completely fill the otherwise silent apartment.

Ah yes, the envelope.

Pulling the decision to your future out of your back pocket, you stared at it for what felt like another hour or so. No matter how long you held the envelope in your hands, you couldn't force yourself to open it. You simply didn't want to.

At some point between when your mother had handed it to you and now, you had subconsciously decided that you wanted to choose your own path forward despite what the decision letter may or may not say.

Feeling strangely empowered and confident, you stood to your feet and ventured into the bedroom where you slipped the envelope into one of the drawers Keishin was letting you keep your clothes in and tucked it underneath one of your sweaters. Maybe one day you would open the damn thing when whatever was inside wasn't weighing so heavily on your mind and future, but today was not that day.

Just then, you heard the front door open and knew Keishin had arrived home. Closing the drawer, you plastered a smile across your face and exited the bedroom to greet your boyfriend.

"Welcome home, Dear," you giggled, trying your best to fake the part of a doting housewife. "How was the volleyball game?"

Keishin chuckled softly as you took the takeout bags from him. "It was a close game, but they pulled it together in the last set and won."

"Oh, good!" You placed the bags onto the table before retrieving some plates and chopsticks from the kitchen.

"How was your day?" he asked as he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek.

You sighed as you thought back on your day. "It was okay," you answered, not really wanting to go into much more detail than that. You doubted Keishin wanted to hear about your minuscule problems with rude customers after the long day he had clearly had.

Keishin, however, picked up on your uncertainty right away. "Doesn't sound okay," he commented. "Want to talk about it?"

You shrugged. "Just some shitty customers. Seems I had forgotten how poorly low-level workers are treated sometimes . . . just threw me a little," you said. "I'll be fine. Just glad the day is over now."

"You and me both." He flashed a smile as he turned to head for the bedroom. "I'm just going to change quickly and then we'll eat."

"Sounds good." You started dishing out some of the food. "I was also thinking we could watch a movie tonight as well. I could use something to clear my mind."

"Sitting on the couch with a beer is an ideal evening in my book," you heard him respond faintly from the bedroom. "There's a new action movie that came out. I think it's about-"

You waited for Keishin to finish his sentence, but when he didn't, you cocked your head and looked toward the bedroom doorway. Before you had the chance to call out to him, he appeared in the doorway shirtless, eyebrows furrowed and the envelope from the university in his hand.

"W-why do you have that?" you asked, the look on his face upon discovering the letter making your heart drop. "That was in my drawer . . . why were you going through my things?"

"I was looking for my sweater, the one you always steal," he answered. "Y/N . . . what is this?"

Rounding the table and approaching Keishin, you snatched the envelope out of his hand. "That is one of the many reasons why my day today was so shitty."

As you turned to head for the kitchen to toss the envelope in the garbage and rid your life of it, Keishin followed you. "You didn't get in?" he inquired.

You shrugged. "I have no idea. I didn't open it."

As you moved to toss the letter into the trash, Keishin grabbed your wrist and stopped you. "Why are you throwing it out if you didn't open it yet?"

"Because I don't care what it says. I've decided that I'm going to stay here with you and work at the store. This is the life I want . . . the life I get to choose for myself."

"You should still open it," he reasoned. "You might change how you feel about it when you see the result."

"I don't want to change how I feel about it." You shook your head as you gently pried your wrist out of his grip. "No need to make things more difficult than they need to be. I've had enough difficulty for one lifetime, thank you very much. This decision is easy, and best of all, it makes me happy."

Gesturing to the envelope, Keishin sighed. "But this is what you wanted. When you told me about your dream to play soccer at the University of Tokyo, your face lit up. Why are giving up on your dream before you've even given yourself a chance to experience it?"

"Dreams can change, Keishin," you told him before sighing and deciding to humour him for a moment. "Okay, let's say I open this letter and somehow did get in. What then? I couldn't pay for that school in my wildest dreams; not without my parents' help. Sometimes dreams are just childish and unrealistic. So I found a new dream, one with us living here together."

"You could apply for student loans. Tons of people do." He folded his arms across his chest. "I don't think this is about the money or your parents. I think this is about us. You've gotten comfortable here."

Throwing your hands up into the air in exasperation, you huffed. "And so what if I have? Is that really so bad?"

"I just don't want you to throw away an opportunity like this over me."

"Over you?" you cocked a brow. "Because you're, what, trash? Not worth it? A lowlife? A burnout?"

Keishin bit at his bottom lip. "You know what's not what I meant."

Inhaling deeply, you glared down at the god-forsaken envelope in your hand and began to tear at the top. "Let's not fight about something that probably isn't even going to happen." You pulled the letter out and unfolded it, your eyes scanning the text quickly. "The University of Tokyo is notoriously difficult to get into and I-"

Keishin quirked a brow when you stopped mid-sentence. "What does it say?"

A broken laugh was the only thing you could manage as you lowered the letter and shook your head. "Un-fucking-believable." You handed the paper over to Keishin, the edge crumpled from where your grip had tightened when you read the decision.

Keishin looked at the page for all of two seconds before he found the bolded 'Congratulations' and a huge grin spread across his face. "You got in!" He was way more excited than you were about this. "This is good news. You can play soccer at the University of Tokyo. Come on, you can't tell me this doesn't make you at least a little happy."

"I wish it did," you answered honestly. "I wish it were that easy."

"It is! It can be." Keishin set the letter down on the counter and took your hands in his. "Student loans, part-time jobs, it's all possible. Sure, it might be a little tricky to work out, but it's totally possible."

When you didn't respond, Keishin hooked his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. "Accept the spot at the university. Follow your dream," he told you.

". . . but I'll have to leave you." You felt the words catch in your throat and tried your hardest not to start crying. "You make me happy—you're the first thing that's made me genuinely happy in a long time—and I don't want to leave that for a chance at something that might not even work out."

"But what if it does work out? You don't know that it won't," he said softly. "Don't end up like me, looking back at your past and wondering what might have been if you had just chosen a different path. I know this might seem good enough for now, but how will you feel after ten or twenty years of working the same dead-end job for the same shit pay all while getting treated like shit by people who look down on you? Look at how one day of catering to pretentious assholes made you feel. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like that?"

"But what about you?" you asked, your voice shaky.

Keishin dropped his head, a few stray strands of hair falling into his face. Unlike that morning, when he had been asleep with loose hairs in his face, he looked annoyed and frustrated now. The bags under his eyes and tension lines on his forehead were a stark contrast to the soft, peaceful face you had woken up to that morning.

"Don't throw this away over me," he repeated. "Don't throw your future away over a 26-year-old burnout."

Lip quivering, you sucked in a deep breath. "I thought you were different . . . but you're just like everyone else."

Keishin eyed you. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You said I should make my own decisions and live my life how I wanted but it was all a facade." You slipped your hand out of his and took a step back. "In the end, you're just like everyone else . . . you think you have a right to plan my future for me without giving me a say in the matter. You want to tell me how to live my life just like my parents."

"How could you say that?" Keishin almost snapped but managed to collect his anger before he did. "All I want is what's best for you."

You scoffed as you wiped a tear from your cheek. "If I had a penny for every time I've heard that I'd have enough money to pay for the University of Tokyo and then you'd get your damn wish . . . I'd be gone."

"When did I ever say I wanted you gone? Why are you so adamant that going to Tokyo means we can't be together?"

"Why are you so against just letting me make my own decision about this?! Why do I have to go to play soccer at that fucking university and leave you? I don't want to leave you!"

"Why not? Why are you so damn hung up on someone like me?!"

"Because I love you!" The two of you froze in place the second those words left your mouth. Chest heaving from the shouting and high emotions, you snapped your mouth shut before you said anything else in the heat of the moment.

Eyes wide, Keishin stared at you like a deer in headlights. "You what?"

You debated whether or not you should repeat what you had said, but by then, the damage had been done. "I love you," you breathed. "And I know you told me not to fall in love with you . . . but I did. I fell hard and fast and now I'm stuck in you and I cannot possibly leave you so please stop asking me to."

You waited for what felt like an eternity for Keishin to say something, say anything. He opened his mouth a few times like he was about to, but nothing ever came out.

"Keishin . . ." You took a cautious step forward. "Please say something."

Keishin swallowed hard before looking you directly in the eyes. "If I said I didn't love you back, would you go?"

You felt your heart crack and the sensation of being punched in the gut spread throughout your entire body. "Is that what you're saying? You don't love me?"

"If I didn't, would you leave?"

You inhaled sharply. "If you look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you don't feel the same way that I do; that everything over the past few months has meant nothing to you, there would be no possible way I could stay in Miyagi," you answered truthfully. "If you tell me that you don't love me and that you never have, I would have no reason to stay in this prefecture."

Keishin's lips parted once more. "Y/N . . . I-" His brown eyes locked onto yours and you could feel what he was about to say even though he never did. "I . . . I can't do this right now."

With that, he brushed past you, grabbed a sweater from the bedroom and threw it on before storming out of the apartment, leaving you and the now cold takeout food alone.

Tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat, you turned to look over your shoulder at the decision letter sitting on the counter, practically taunting you.

You should have thrown the thing out the second your mom dropped it off. Or better yet, maybe you should have never made that deal with Keishin and applied for the university in the first place.