#still the perfect human dvd

[hazelfoureyes]

The Radio Demon Fucks a Human Sacrifice (epilogue)

Mom gets fitted for dentures next week 🎊 🎉 🦷 💝

Epilogue (Promises)

You had meant it when you said it so long ago. A promise. One you intended to keep

「Warnings/Promises: Alastor x Fem Reader, Valentino x Fem reader (just TRUST ME), nipple chain, Val exists too much, Kaiju cock, pussy wet??, aphrodisiac, Alastor shade, fanatic sinners, misleading porno covers, Angel Dust is perfect as always, blood, stabbing, filming sexy things, Val in a thong, licking, hair pulling, why bad man have big dick, Alastor isn’t horny but he is possessive, pussy in the ether」

Part 1 smut 💦 Part 2 smut 💦 Side Story Part 3 smut 💦 Part 4 smut💦 Epilogue sexual

***Spoiler for people that need Val warnings*** Val dick touches reader pussy. Val explicit scenes are purple. if you skip the purple parts you will still understand the story and still be in the scene, interacting with him. Reminder, reader is there intentionally and consenting.

minors omg look over there! (🏃‍♀️💨Dni)

“I will admit, I was surprised to get your message.” Val exhaled, one hip out as he rest his weight on his right foot. You hadn’t planned on seeing him again, but as you became comfortable in hell you found yourself remembering the promise to yourself. One you made that day you met Alastor. On the floor of that studio. Your eyes scanned the room. The space was different, the set no longer your cursed cabin scene.  “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

You took a deep breath, you’d practiced this, “Well I’ve been in hell for a while now… and I see you everywhere. I’ve been thinking,” your eyes caught on the door you were confident led to the room that held you. To the bed. Another shaky exhale, you never were much of an actress. “I really missed my chance with you. A powerful overlord… a celebrity.”

A dark chuckle from the moth, his ego fluttering, “Ooh, you’re a little celebrity in your own right. My best seller in ages.”

Oh, right. The tape. You hadn’t watched it yet. Alastor set the VHS copy on the bookshelf, an agreement made you could revisit that memory together if you ever wanted to. Not that you hadn’t heard it before. Nearly two years after its release and still people played it in public. Your first visit to Rosie started with you red faced and sputtering, having had someone on the way there thrust a DVD in front of you. 

The stranger asked for an autograph, but as soon as you saw the cover photo the entire thing had been knocked into the street by Alastor’s microphone. He had been trying to shelter you from interacting too much with the movie.

“Was that—is the cover—?” You were frozen as the sinner ran off, mind trying to process the image.

Alastor hummed, “Not what I’d choose, but I signed away all rights when I made the deal. A little misleading of a photo if you ask me.” He watched with glee as a car pulverized the disc and case. 

A blood red demonic seal splattered with a white liquid and a slender hand scraping into the wood.

“But that’s the Vees for you!”

Indeed, that was the Vees. Val gestured at you with his cigarette and its dramatic holder, “Aren’t you still with the radio demon? Not that I care.” He took a few steps towards you, getting you into arm’s reach before grabbing you by the back of the head and pulling you into him, “Just cuz there's a goalie doesn’t mean I can’t score.”

With how your head was angled back as he had your hair tightly wound in his fist you could see the TV. Always Vox News, you assumed. The time was displayed in the corner. “I am but— he doesn’t, ya know… he doesn’t know I’m here. But he’ll be looking for me soon.”

He stared down at you, pupil-less eyes without emotion. Your scalp began to burn and after a few seconds you had to shift your weight to relieve some of the pull. It made your upper stomach rub against his crotch. Not at all your intention. But you knew you’d have to touch him eventually.

“Unfortunately for you, I don’t do shit at anyone else’s speed.” His hand released your hair, “Could be fun though…,” Valentino traced along your jaw with his tongue before squeezing your cheeks in his hand, “fucking Alastor’s woman.”

He was off you as quickly as he had pounced, makeshift jacket swirling behind him as he spun around and walked to the door you’d seen before.

Another glance at the television. You had 10 minutes before Alastor would be calling. A small panic that you didn’t have enough time. 

Alastor rarely called on you, because rarely were you very far away. He didn’t have you on a leash, you just enjoyed his company. You’d scroll on your phone while he worked in his radio station  or read a book while he enjoyed his breakfast in the morning. 

Also, well, going out alone could be intimidating. People swung from two extremes when they saw you— excited fan or terrified sinner. 

The fans knew you were with Alastor. 

The other sinners knew you were with Alastor. 

The DVD incident had spooked you, not helped by the fact it had been your first outing. Alastor had been eager, even if he didn’t say it, to introduce you to the cannibal overlord. 

Having you back in his presence brought a deep seated sense of calm to him, one best compared to the feeling he had when gossiping with Rosie over coffee. Naturally he wanted his closest friend to meet the soul who’d stolen his attention. And Rosie was delighted to meet you, evident with the extravagant tea (and a singular coffee)  she set up and her litany of questions.

But every time she asked something she also seemed to answer it herself.

“Are you happy to be together again in your body?! I’m sure you are.” She offered you a finger you had to decline. 

“I bet you two have been busy.” A wink, “Though you must have been for it to take so long to get down here.”

Alastor shrunk a little as she smacked at his shoulder. You hadn’t seen him allow others to touch him before. Had that been Angel, the second one of his many arms cocked back Alastor would have stepped away or disappeared. Just a hit and you could see how close they were.

You made a point of befriending her, coming often after that initial meeting to her shop for gossip and advice. As time went on, you began to learn about Alastor’s normal. It was nice to have a mutual friend to discuss your worries and ideas with. 

“And oh! That video. Talk about hot under the collar!”, a petite laugh, “Did you see it?” Rosie waited for you to answer this time. When you shook your head no, she waved her hand, “For the best. The climax was totally unwatchable!”

You turned to Alastor, not sure what that meant, but he didn’t meet your gaze and instead slowly blinked out of sync at the bookshelves behind Rosie’s shoulder. 

“Did you know he’s not into all that?” She took a sip, “You better be patient with him ya got it?”

That question caught you off guard. Apparently for him too, Alastor coming back to life at the change of tone, “This isn’t really a tea topic, dear friend.”

Rosie hummed, “Where are my manners! I was just so relieved he didn’t up and leave for another seven years.” 

What’s a scowl shared between friends?

But shared between whatever you and Val were…?

Valentino’s wings unfurled revealing long fishnet covered legs. You watched as he swayed his hips side to side on his way to the bed. The same bed as before. You remembered the shape and purple comforter that you could see down your blindfold.

“Oh, I wasn’t expecting you to already be undressed.” Where were his pants and button up? This was moving faster than you’d anticipated. 

He turned back to you as he plopped down onto the bed, “What I wear isn’t any of your business. Though, speaking of business.” He pointed to the corner, a part of the room you’d never seen before. A camera on a tripod stood there. “Turn it on.”

Your grimace was immediate. “You sure you wanna film this one?”

Impatient, he crossed his legs and leaned back on two hands, “Did you think you could just come in here, ask to fuck me and … what? It’d be all on your terms?”

Yes. 

You’d worn a dress expressly for ease, and slipped off your panties before going to the camera. For some reason you didn’t want that recorded. It seemed embarrassing. More so than what you were about to do.

Val’s turn to gawk, “You’re seriously not planning on staying dressed.”

“What I wear isn’t any of your business.” You opened the view screen and hit record.

His laugh was dark and deep, “Ooh, I forgot how feisty you were. Maybe this can be a recurring thing.”

Ignoring the comment, you tried to take in the details of the room, checking the walls and small bits of furniture. But you were immensely distracted by the moth demon, who had taken to spreading his legs open and running a hand down his barely contained bulge. Tiny, little, itty black thong, fishnets, nipple chain and… well, the hat. 

Two arms pulled you by the waist, hands gripping the flesh of your ass through the dress. 

“Why are you dressed like you’re off to teach Sunday school?” His hands slipped under the fabric and dug into your bare skin. He glanced at the camera and its small monitor to make sure he was in frame.

Your knees were brought to either side of his legs before he began to open his stance wider and wider. The action lowered your center more and more until your naked heat was resting on his package. Things were speeding up, he was moving you around so effortlessly. A problem, an absolute problem.

“Ya know I haven’t had a believable good girl to break in awhile.” His hips rose of the bed suddenly and made you bounce on his growing erection. Val groaned, a sound that made your skin crawl. 

In the reflection of his glasses you saw the white face of a marble clock on the wall behind you. 

“Could we—- can we do this lying down? Missionary? It’s been awhile and I’m feeling insecure.” The thought of the overpowering demon towering on top of you and pinning you down was… a tad terrifying. But you needed to see the clock, you couldn’t keep turning around. 

A brief thought, maybe just turning around on his lap and staying facing away from him would work, but then you remembered the camera. Didn’t need your now-rising dress to give the Vees anything exploitative to keep.

Not that everyone in all nine rings hadn’t already seen you spread open and screaming on camera.

“Actually maybe it’s okay, I can,” turn around? Your suggestion was cut short.

Val lifted you like a toy and flipped around. Your head hit the bed hard, brain jostling in your skull. One hand instinctively came to his chest to keep some distance. “No, I like this better.” A wide grin as he settled between your legs.

You leaned to the right to see the clock past his shoulder. Five minutes.

Why didn’t you wear a watch? Fuck.

He dropped his lower half onto you until his full weight was pressing his half hard cock into your stomach. Your breath tightened, running out of moveable space to expand your lungs and diaphragm.

“I wanna see you squirm.” Pink smoke was blown directly into your face, catching you off guard. But, where was the cigarette? You didn’t see it…

Your muscles went loose, the stress of the moment washing away. Both of your hands came to the center of your chest and pressed down. Security. Readiness.

Four minutes.

Alastor didn’t like you having a phone but he didn’t stop you from owning one. You had assumed you’d be on the set where you knew there would be some way to keep track of the time. Or else you’d have just worn a dress with pockets to carry a cellphone. Maybe set a timer.

You weren’t sure about Alastor’s disdain for tech until you witnessed it yourself. That square headed stalker flitting from screen to screen, riding the wires and the radio waves. He had warned you about the Vees, about Vox in particular. He didn’t have much to say about Velvette, and somehow that was better than the nothing he had to say about Valentino. 

As Val’s tongue slid up your neck, you thought about Angel. A confidant. You wished he had asked Alastor to kill Val, as a thank you for his efforts in reuniting you two. And, now that you remembered, uniting you at all. 

Instead he asked for a bigger room. Large enough for two to comfortably cohabitate.

Alastor maybe couldn’t kill Val, but he could try. When you brought it up with him he was upset. He didn’t like his name being spoken at all unless absolutely necessary 

An inadvertent moan you didn’t realize came from you until Valentino chuckled at the sound.

“Feeling it?” He cooed. You weren’t sure which it he meant. This wasn’t going quite to plan. 

Three minutes.

So much could happen in three minutes. Too much. He slid down his underwear, sitting up and letting you see him in his full glory.

Why did he have to be such a bad man?

Many men who carried big sticks were unkind. Between their legs or between their fingers. 

Alastor was an exception to the rule. 

Things did calm down for Alastor after you returned, eventually. Alastor’s desperate need was soothed with you in hell again. His appetite dying. But he hungered in new ways. Ways you hadn’t anticipated to fill your cup so full. Long and intense kisses where his hands dragged down your body and he sighed into your cheeks. You were often pulled into his side and under his arm when sharing the sofa. Soft pets to your hair as you fell asleep. 

And when you felt the need, and if he wasn’t feeling up to it, he’d lie beside you and whisper into your ear. Talking soft and low about all the ways you stole his heart and mind while his hand pumped those long fingers in and out of your own needy pussy. He’d grin into the nape of your neck when you were incapable of keeping your voice down any longer. A feeling you’d come to need. 

You didn’t need a cock to be full. And by the look of Val’s twitching monster, you’d be broken before he bottomed out.

His thumbs pulled apart your bottom lips, “Ready to spread you open so wide you won’t even feel that lanky fuck in you.” 

His third and fourth hands pushed your thighs open and back, hands you could swear felt familiar. Alastor? Or before him?

You struggled to regain focus, your fingers feeling at your bra.

Two minutes.

Legs suddenly too weak to resist, or perhaps Val too strong. Or, a third option, you weren’t trying so hard. Behind his fingers was left a burn on your skin.

“Closer.” Your lips were tingling, it felt good.

“I need you closer.”

His wide chest grew prideful, “Oh? If you’re looking for love you’re in the wrong bed, princesa.”

“No love. Chest. I can’t reach your chest.” You struggled to sit up, but managed to grab the chain connecting his pierced nipples before falling back into the bed.

A screech, a squeak, “Fuck! Watch how you handle that.” His voice rose several octaves. God, you hated him. 

You gripped the chain tightly, the feeling keeping you a little grounded. “Oops.” A whirlpool was behind your eyes, all five senses mingling and amplifying. This was dangerous. He hadn’t used this aphrodisiac on you before…maybe he had liked how much you thrashed when he tied you up and mocked you.  

His length ran up your core and you jumped. He was so hot. So…. Firm.

No. Too close.

One minute.

You had told Alastor you wouldn’t let it go too far. He said he’d not stop you, because you had said you needed to do it. But you could see the conflict behind his own gaze. What would he do if you returned smelling of Val? Dripping of him? 

Almost. Just a few more seconds. His body rolled into you, rocking you with the motion. Every passing had his cock from slit to balls sliding between your wildly wet folds. 

Timing was key for your safety. Though Alastor had made it clear you could always just bail and wait for his call.

The more Val rubbed and pressed against you you felt your mind melt a little more. Surely it would slip down your spine at this rate. 

A brief worry in the pleasurable fog, what if later on you remembered the pleasure and felt guilty? Guilty to Alastor but most importantly to yourself, for gasping and sighing under the abusive trash that dragged you to hell to begin with.

And what if you didn’t? 

Which was worse?

Which would be easier to live with?

He prodded your inner thigh. He was getting closer and closer to actually entering you.

30 seconds.

“Do you remember my promise?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” His head was hung as he stared between your bodies. He didn’t see you reach between your breasts into your bra and pull out the Carmine angelic dagger Husk had recommended to Alastor. You hadn’t been quiet about your plans.

“Odd, it’s on recording. Maybe you didn’t realize I was talking to you.” As you moved the dagger from your right side to bury it into Valentino’s chest you remembered the man in the woods. The young man at work. Angel. Here you were again. But if this ended the same as the woods, where would you go? Would Alastor be able to reach you?

“My promise to fucking kill you.”

Valentino keeled back, hand raised to slash your throat out when a green light momentarily blinded him. The sound of chains filled the room as you disappeared into nothingness underneath him. He was left slashing at his own duvet while he tried to slow the bleeding.

Alastor caught you as you fell from the portal he summoned you with. Two feet barely touching the floor as he set you in the reading chair in front of his fireplace.

He nodded at the drops of blood staining your cornflower yellow dress, “Was it a success?”

Your body slipped down the chair, dress getting caught in the friction and riding up. He leaned over and tugged it back down to hide your exposed sex.  You were too far gone to feel deja vu.

“No, I think he’s alive. He drugged me with that smoke.” Your legs were spread wide, trying to keep your weight from slipping off the chair. “I was too weak.”

Alastor sat in the chair opposite and took in the scene. Hair messy, legs open, face flush. Bloodied and breathless.

Pride ran a shiver up his spine. His doe’s second murder attempt. While he has despised the idea he couldn’t pretend he didn’t love the initiative. 

“Hey, I know you said you wouldn’t ask.” You crossed your legs at the ankle, which did nothing to stop the way the air that was rising up your dress and cooling your core. “But I didn’t fuck him.”

Alastor shrugged, “As they say, all is fair in love and war. I would understand if you did for the sake of killing him. What’s a little sex if it helps murder?”

Your hand slipped down your chest, a ghostly trail in its wake like your touch had an echo. “What a terrible way to confess you love me.”

A choked cough from the radio demon.

Your eyes slipped close. Relaxed. “I feel good.”

He hummed.

“Not from the stabbing, from the stuff in his smoke. My body is thrumming. Is my heart pounding?” You tried to stand but ended up on your knees, cheek coming to rest on his inner leg. As he leaned forward to let his hand enter your dress and rest above your heart, his face got close to yours.

“It’s frantic.” A low whisper into the shell of your ear. Pulling back he paused at your face to lick an errant drop of blood. “You reek of him.”

“He did lick me a couple times.” You watched Alastor sneer, “And he was naked, like, immediately. Oh! Oh fuck,” your head popped up with a renewed clarity, “He recorded it.”

Alastor stilled, he wasn’t thinking about the recording aspect. He was thinking on your heart, on how flushed your skin was, the sweat dripping down your neck. On the thought of Val’s tongue over your skin. “The medicine— or drug you were exposed to,” a deep breath in, “What does it feel like?”

A topic change you hadn’t expected, your body slouched into his leg, arm over his thigh for support. His eyes on your face as they always were when you were in the room. 

“Like my body is… illuminescent. Every time my clothes or something touches me, my skin lights up and my brain gets so quiet.” His palm stayed on your heart. 

“Hmm,” His hands slipped under your arm, lifting you up. Your feet were entirely off the ground now as he carried you like a dirty cat on its way to the bath. Gently, you were set onto the bed. A lovely juxtaposition.

“Every time I touch where he did, tell me.” Alastor kneeled beside you, deft fingers unbuttoning your dress. A sharp claw popped under the center of your bra and sliced through the fabric.

Your body was humming again, Val’s powerful aphrodisiac lifting up from your senses like dust under heavy footsteps. 

Goosebumps formed up your arms as the back of his fingers traced along the outside of your forearm. As he curved up your shoulder and reached your neck you breathed out a low, “There.”

You watched him lean down, warm lips kissing at your skin. A series of kisses as soft and needy as the ones he often placed on your own mouth. A shudder turned nearly violent as his hot tongue ran up your neck to your jaw.

His nose slid up your cheek, “There.” Kisses to your face, across your nose and to the other side.

He pulled back, eyes lusty and heavy lidded. He didn’t say anything, but his grim smile asked you something. You nodded, running your hands down your chest and to your thighs.

A growl you hadn’t heard in so long rumbled in his chest. He rolled you onto your stomach and pulled the dress off entirely, nails raking along your spine until they dimpled the soft fat of your ass.

“There.”

Alastor straddled you at the back of your knees. You wanted to squirm but your muscles had gone weak again. He nipped at the mounds of flesh, massaging and squeezing after every particularly sharp bite. What little part of your brain could form coherent thoughts was trying to piece together an alarm— his face was so close to your still soaking wet entrance. 

Images bubbled up where words were failing. Val’s large cock head smearing precum up your slit.

His hands roamed down your legs and feet before turning you back to face him. When you could finally see his expression again, you were surprised to see a look he hadn’t given in so long.

Needy. Desperation screamed through knitted brows, hazy eyes, and a weak smile threatening to fall flat.

As his hands slid down your stomach and reached the junction of your thighs, you started to register the little moans you were making.

But it was getting harder to hear past the radio static and pounding heartbeat in your ears.

Soft fingers traveled between your closed thighs, you hesitated before offering what you thought was a quiet, “There.”

You couldn’t hear yourself think let alone speak as the sounds both in and outside your body grew louder with every signal he’d found a new spot to cover up.

His knees pushed open your left thigh, then your right. Lowering himself, he hitched your knees and lied flat on his stomach. A bite to your inner thigh, nearly the back. A suck, sharp and strong, that ended with a pop as he released.

Nose inching closer and closer to your core, Alastor could see your hole clenching. A dribble of the evidence of your arousal being forced out and down the cleft of your ass.

You heard and felt his breathing quicken, when a finger slid down your folds you couldn’t stop the raise of your hips.

“There.”

The lights went out with a pop. Shaky breaths as his tongue swiped from entrance to clit. Lick after lick to your center like he was trying to make you clean again. Another moan you were only sure was yours cut through the now biting static that filled the air around you.

Your mind tried to piece together a sentence, “Crazy stuff… it had me so horny”, your hands ran up your chest without thinking, “I was almost hoping Val would put it in before time was gone.”

The static cut. Not even the sound of the fireplace or the crickets in the swamp portaled into his room were present anymore. 

“Isn’t that insane? Have you ever heard of such a drug?” Your eyes had closed, feeling his breath wafting down your saliva coated lips. “Alastor?”

He was being honest when he said he’d not hold it against you. But he hadn’t even considered a situation where you wanted more to happen. Than had been discussed. The very idea of Valentino mixing with you brought bile to his throat.

The drug was to blame and he could understand that, as a man. But as an overlord, as something more akin to animal in some aspects, he had the clawing urge to reclaim you. To write over even the thought of wanting to feel Valentino.

“My darling little doe, I think you need a reminder of just how much of you I possess. And the parts of me you own in turn.” 

You looked down to see glowing eyes from between your legs, his fingers snapped and while you couldn’t see what was happening past the light of his eyes, you could hear the VHS player click and then a small, “Aunt Sara….” whispered in a familiar voice.  

“I don’t understand what’s happened….”

It took a moment to register it was your own voice you were hearing from the darkness. 

“Aunt Sara isn’t here.” 

Alastor’s acting debut crowing from the old TV beside his bayou door. His eyes shifted with a blink from glowing red to black, just sharp dials visible in the shadow of his face.

“She’s made an exchange, she gets extraordinary power….and I get your soul.”

The prongs of a buck ready to clash over his territory creaked past your open thighs.

“But I want more than that. I need more than that.”

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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[cece693]

Kiss, Marry, Kill

pairing: jasper hale x male reader tags: human reader, jasper being hurt over small things, Emmett being his joking self, party games, crack fic?

Streamers of gold and cream swirled from the high ceiling of the Cullens’ mansion, and the soft glow of fairy lights made everything look like a magical dreamland—well, at least to your human friends, who couldn’t stop gawking at the place. For you, it was home away from home. After all, you spent so much time here with Jasper that the polished floors and glittering chandeliers had become more familiar than your own dorm room.

Still, tonight felt different. It was your birthday—the last you’d celebrate with a beating heart. Next year, you’d be fully immortal, forever attached to Jasper’s side. But first, you had a party to survive.

You had just finished eating a perfect slice of birthday cake (courtesy of Esme’s unwavering drive to make it tasty for even someone who despised cake) when Jessica's voice boomed across the music:

“Birthday boy! Get over here! We need you!”

Her tone made you freeze. You recognized that brand of enthusiasm. It usually meant trouble or embarrassing party games. With a resigned sigh, you left the comfort of the food table and found Jessica huddled in the living room with Angela, Mike, and a handful of other curious onlookers.

“We’re playing Kiss, Marry, Kill,” Jessica announced, flipping her hair as if she was unveiling some grand plan. “And you’re up first!”

Your stomach sank like a stone in a lake. An array of wide, excited eyes turned your way, including Mike’s—who offered a sheepish wave. You prayed to whatever powers exist that Jasper wasn’t within earshot. “C’mon, Jess,” you said, forcing a laugh. “Don’t you think I’m too old for this?”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re twenty-one, not eighty-one! Besides, Emmett is all fired up just hearing about it.”

You heard a low chuckle from across the room. Emmett, leaning casually by the DVD shelf, flexed his biceps with a wink. Rosalie smacked his arm in mock annoyance. Great—there went your hopes of keeping this discreet.

“Alright, fine,” you relented, your cheeks heating. “Let’s get this over with.”

Jessica cleared her throat dramatically and raised a tiny notebook where she’d jotted down names. “So, Kiss, Marry, Kill…” She paused, letting the suspense build. “Mike, Emmett, and Tyler!”

You snorted. Of course she’d drag Emmett in. And Tyler? The guy who you briefly had a fling with before getting with Jasper? Oh boy, now you desperately hoped Jasper wasn't even in the house.

“Okay,” you began slowly. “Let me, uh…weigh my options…”

Immediately you thought of killing Tyler. No way would you announce you'll hypothetically kiss or marry him, it was tough enough to break your friends-with-benefits relationship. You didn't want to give him false hope when that ship has sailed. Mike was potentially clingy, might send you heart-shaped candies on Valentine’s Day with bad puns, but he was overall harmless. And Emmett, there would never be a boring day in your life, it was Rosalie you were worried about. She'll definitely kill you if you even dared to steal him away.

As these thoughts zipped through your mind, you realized the circle of friends was waiting with bated breath. “Alright,” you said, “if I have to choose, I'll kiss Mike…”you said, pointing lamely in his direction.

You heard him choke on a soft, “Really?”

Rolling your eyes, you glanced at Emmett, who was now wagging his eyebrows. "I'll marry Emmett. He’s entertaining, funny, strong, and got a great sense of humor..." you rattled off, trying not to laugh as Emmett bounced in his spot like a child. “You hear that, Rosie? I’m marriage material!” Rosalie simply rolled her eyes.

"And I'll kill Tyler. No offense man, but you did almost take out Bella with that van years ago, so maybe it's karmic justice. Rest in peace.”

While your friends erupted into laughter, especially at the idea of your 'marriage' with Emmett, you maneuvered your way through the crowd, itching to find Jasper. While it was merely a game, you knew it would rub your cowboy the wrong way to hear you'll marry his brother. Looking everywhere for him—his room, the kitchen, the living room, hell, even the bathroom—you had just returned to the kitchen where Edward suddenly flashed in front of you.

“Jeez, Edward!” you exclaimed, pressing a hand to your chest. “I'm still human, remember?"

He just shrugged with a knowing smile. “He’s in Carlisle’s study. I’d go talk to him if I were you.”

His expression told you everything you needed to know—Jasper was not in a good mood. With a nod, you headed toward the study, ducking under a few gold streamers.

You found Jasper sitting at Carlisle’s desk, arms folded, staring intently at the wall. His blond hair fell into his face, casting shadows across his darkening eyes. The moment you stepped in, he flicked his eyes up, then away, like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to see you or avoid you.

“Jazz?” you said softly, closing the door behind you. “Want to tell me what’s bothering you?”

His expression darkened as he let out a humorless laugh. “Don’t act like you don’t know. I heard everything. You’re apparently planning to marry Emmett now.” Though the jealousy stung your heart, his wording was so ridiculous you almost snorted. But one look at his face told you laughter would not help.

“It was a joke, Jazz. You know that.”

His Southern drawl grew sharper. “A joke, sure, but it sounded pretty convincing. You did have reasons lined up for why Emmett would be such a great husband.”

Your jaw dropped. “You’re serious right now?”

He held your gaze, frustration and hurt swirling in those golden irises. “If you wanna go marry him, go ahead,” he said bitterly. “It’s your birthday; maybe that’ll be my gift to you—freedom from me.” You took a breath, forcing yourself not to snap back. He was centuries old, but that didn’t stop him from occasionally having the emotional meltdown of a teenager.

“Jasper, you know I love you,” you said, voice cracking slightly. “The only reason I said I’d marry Emmett is because Tyler and Mike are the other two options. And I definitely wasn’t going to marry them.”

He ran a hand through his honey-blond hair, exasperation evident. “Still. Hearing you talk about Emmett like that…it wasn’t pleasant.”

“I’m sorry, but in the game, someone had to be Marry. And I—”

A loud creak announced a third party: Emmett barged in, wearing the dopiest grin. “Hey, fiancé!” he crowed, waggling his eyebrows.

Jasper’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Emmett, I’m really not in the mood.”

Emmett tossed his hands up. “Okay, big guy, cool it. I just wanted to see if the wedding was still on or if I should start ripping up the invitations.”

You blushed furiously. “Emmett, get out!”

He laughed but obeyed, tossing a mock salute as he backed out, calling down the hallway, “Hey, Rosalie, we’re canceled… I mean, no, I’m not actually…It was a joke—don’t give me that look!”

When Emmett finally left, the door clicked shut, leaving you and Jasper alone again. You watched him quietly for a moment, noticing how his shoulders slumped with residual tension. “I’m sorry,” you repeated, stepping closer. “You mean everything to me—this game was Jessica’s silly idea, and I just got roped in. I swear, I never would’ve said it if I knew it’d hurt you.”

His jaw worked, and you could see he was trying to contain the waves of jealousy. You placed a tentative hand on his arm.

“I chose Emmett mostly for comedic effect, okay? Mike is…Mike, and I have history with Tyler. If I’d said I’d marry him, I’d be sleeping with one eye open. Emmett was the lesser evil.”

A flicker of amusement ghosted across his face—very brief. “So, you really don’t wish you had a ring from Emmett?”

You nearly laughed. “God, no. I’m sure Rosalie would kill me if I tried. And I only want your ring, anyway.”

He exhaled, some of the tension leaving his posture. Carefully, you slid your arms around his waist, feeling his cool body against yours. “You’re the one I want,” you insisted. “Always. Soon, we’ll be bonded forever—vampire to vampire. That’s bigger than a wedding.”

His eyes softened, and you could tell he was tuning into your sincerity—possibly even reading the waves of guilt and affection roiling off you. “I’m sorry I overreacted,” he said quietly, pressing his forehead to yours. “I just…don’t like the idea of sharing you.”

The door swung open again, this time revealing Alice, Bella, and Edward peeking inside—like a cluster of meddling siblings. “Are we good here?” Alice asked, twirling a piece of confetti between her fingers. “Because the party’s over, and I’m thinking of scheduling a no-more-dumb-games vow for the next birthday.”

Bella attempted a sympathetic smile. “We tried telling Jessica that it might not be the best idea.”

“Also, Emmett’s writing up a wedding registry,” Edward piped in, wry amusement in his tone. “You might want to stop him before he goes too far.”

Jasper let out a disgruntled sigh, rising from his seat. “I’ll put a stop to that.” You followed him out, hand in hand. The tension of the evening lingered in the air, but the weight was lifting, replaced by relief and some lingering embarrassment.

Back in the foyer, Emmett was dramatically dictating a registry list to Rosalie, who stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “Definitely want a waffle iron, and maybe a lifetime supply of hair gel for the big day—”

Jasper cleared his throat, and Emmett turned to see the two of you standing there. “Aww, the happy couple!” he teased, pressing his hands together.

“Emmett, enough,” Jasper hissed, though you could see the glint of amusement in his eyes.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and swatted Emmett with a leftover balloon. “You’re impossible.”

You let out a chuckle and caught Jasper’s eye. The corners of his lips lifted in a soft smile—an olive branch of sorts.

Alice, never one to miss a cue, fluttered over. “Now that the crisis is averted, how about we officially call it a night? There’s more cake on the table if you want it, but I doubt you do,” she teased, knowing full well none of the Cullens would partake.

“I might,” you joked. “Still human, remember?”

Jasper slid an arm around your waist, leaning down to press a cool kiss to your temple. “You might be human now,” he whispered, “but soon enough, we’ll have our forever.”

You smiled, heart full and light. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

[blue-slxt]

Imagine petite!human reader literally being used as a living fleshlight😩

Like she’s so small she can just be lifted off the ground and pounded🥴

Honestly don’t even care who it’s written for feels like a Jake, lo’ak, or quaritch kinda senecio

Sincerely, a no where near petite girlie

Thank you so much for your patience. I've been working on like a million different things at the same time so I am so behind on requests. But I looove this idea. Something about just being manhandled however your partner wants you to be is so fucking aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh😩! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this.

🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞

Smut under the cut.

“Make sure you don’t break my bed with your big ass.” You playfully scold Lo’ak while pulling on your spaghetti strap shirt. He flops his entire body weight onto your bed making it creak. It was times like this when you really took note of just how big of a size difference there was between you. Of course, the Na’vi were much bigger than average humans already, but you were even on the small side for humans. Watching how his body can’t fit properly on your bed while you could be swallowed whole by your sheets and blankets never ceased to amaze you. He waves you off with a ‘yeah, yeah’ while he makes himself comfortable putting his hands under his head. You roll your eyes at him and start to search through all the DVDs you have for something for you two to watch.

“What are you in the mood for this time? Something funny? Romantic? Dramatic?” you fire off the different genres as you toss aside disc after disc.

“Hmm…” he dramatically hums thinking about his answer.

You don’t bother to look at him while he mulls it over and you continue searching. You faintly comprehend the sound of him shuffling and moving around behind you, but you pay it no mind until a pair of big hands find their way on your small frame. Lo’ak’s lips brush lightly over the back of your neck and it almost tickles when he speaks.

“I think I’m in the mood for something sexy” he presses kisses onto your neck and shoulder.

“You are so corny” you say with a laugh, but you still lean into his touch anyway.

“Just put on whatever. I’d rather watch you anyway.” His low voice in your ear makes your nerves come alive with this intense fluttering all over your body. His impatience is rubbing off on you so you hurriedly throw whatever you can reach into the player without really bothering to look at what it is. Once the movie starts playing, you turn around to face Lo’ak and he immediately swipes you up off the floor and your legs lock around his waist while he presses his lips to yours. Holding onto him like this gives you the perfect feel of his cock straining against his tewng and poking you right between your legs. Clearly, he can feel it too from how his hands hold your hips and grind you down against him. Every move brushes against your covered clit and gives you small tingles of satisfaction, but it’s not enough. He’s got you so riled up now that you decide to have a little more fun and push his limits. On any given day, Lo’ak could, and would, fuck you until your body felt like jelly. But on occasion, he would lose himself and by the end, even your brain would feel numb and fuzzy filled with nothing but him possessing you completely. That’s exactly what you need right now.

Without warning, you unfold your legs from around him and let go completely dropping to your feet on the ground. His puzzled expression is nothing short of adorable.

“Shit, I just remembered that I have a report to finish” you say walking over to your computer desk and sitting down.

“Babe, you have got to be kidding me right now.” You were never one to deny Lo’ak what he asked for. Ever. Not even when you would join the clan for communal dinner and he would pull you off into the dark out of view of everyone else.

“It’s only going to take a few minutes, Lo.” You say sitting down and pulling your hair forward and exposing your neck. Lo’ak groans behind you. You know how much he loves when you present your neck for him to mark. He’s starting to catch on to your little game. If he wants it, he’s going to have to take it.

“If it’s only going to take a couple minutes, then do it after” he says pulling your chair away from your desk and over to the bed. He spins you around to face him and heat settles between your thighs at the way he’s eyeing you right now. “I need you, mamas.”

“You’re doing a whole lot of talking and yet, I’m still fully clothed” you say with a sly smirk.

He chuckles lowly to himself, “oh, you are asking for it.” In one swift motion, Lo’ak pulls you onto his lap by your waist. Your hands brace against his chest to keep yourself from flying forward. His face settles in the crook of your neck and he nips lightly at your skin making you jump.

“Now, am I going to have to rip these cute little shorts off of you or are you gonna behave and take them off yourself?”

“Don’t…I like these ones.” You whine.

“Then get rid of them. Right now.”

You shift yourself around so that you can maneuver out of your shorts while he pulls his tewng to the side to expose his thick, hard cock that was already leaking precum from the tip.

“Already so hard, love. Is that for m—”

“Don’t try to get cute with me” Lo’ak cuts you off by grabbing you by your waist and slamming you down onto his dick in one quick snap.

It feels like an electric shock is shot up your spine and goes straight to your head being immediately filled to the brim. He gives you no time to adjust before he’s fully lifting your body by your waist up and down on his cock.

“Ah! Fu-ck! Lo-ak!” Your words and breaths are broken from how he’s making you bounce on top of him.  

“Shit, your pussy is so fuckin perfect” he says through gritted teeth.

His big hands on your smaller frame completely take control of your movements and you have no choice but to let him have his way with you. His dick continues to bully its way into your tight cunt and kiss your cervix making your toes curl.

“Oh fuck, you’re gonna make me cum inside of you, mama. You want that, hm? Want me to fill you up?” his voice is lighthearted, but you can tell from the look in his eyes and his laser focus on you how close he really is and how badly he wants to give you everything.

“Yes, yes, yes, please Lo’ak!” your vision is already starting to spot as you near your own high while he keeps using you as his own personal fuck toy.

“Hng, shit!” he bucks his hips up to match the way he’s moving your body for you a few more times before the heat of his cum starts to fill you from the inside out. It sends you over the edge into your own orgasm and your pussy clamps down on him even tighter if that was even possible. Lo’ak sucks in a sharp breath feeling how tight you are around him and his forehead falls forward onto your chest waiting for you to stop milking him for all he’s worth.

His hands finally let go of your waist and they fall to sit on top of your thighs while you both try to catch your breath.

Suddenly the TV booms from across the room, “I am Bruce Almighty! My will be done!” making both of you snap your head in its direction.

“What the fuck movie did you put on?” Lo’ak laughs breathlessly.

“I have no fucking clue and I kind of don’t really care” you laugh equally out of breath. “But it looks like we still have some time before it’s over…” you lightly suggest.

He already knows what’s on your mind and a devilish smirk crosses his face.

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS More,Blood Genteiban DVD Translation ☽ Mini Drama III (Ruki, Azusa, Kanato, Ayato)

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD 限定版 SPECIAL DISK IV Mini Drama III Voiced by Sakurai Takahiro (Ruki), Kishio Daisuke (Azusa), Kaji Yūki (Kanato), Midorikawa Hikaru (Ayato) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (thank you @uzi-boozii for providing the audio!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Here's the final instalment of the More,Blood special disks! ✧ദ്ദി( ˶^ᗜ^˶ ) This is my least favourite of all of them (even though Ruki is obviously my favourite Diaboy) because I think Ruki kind of got the short end of the stick in terms of content in my opinion... I had hoped we'd get to see more of his inner struggle seeing as the rest of the CDs have these fun little bits talking about what they'd like to do with Yui and stuff, but this one had a little less of that ( ; ─ ; ) Still, the part where Ruki talks about Yui having agency? A king indeed...

Anyway, there's more good stuff coming soon! As always, have fun listening and reading along! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[This scene takes place right after the last episode of More,Blood, when Ruki and Ayato each take Yui’s blood and the two agree on working together against the Founders. Note: AY stands for Ayato and AZ stands for Azusa.]

00:00 Ruki: Leave her to sleep. If the Founders are coming for her soon, we need to be prepared. Isn’t that right, Sakamaki Ayato?

Ayato: I ain’t taking orders from you, asshole. Yours Truly can do as he pleases.

Ruki: These are no circumstances for liberal ideas, unfortunately. Quarrelling will not help us if we have to face off against the Founders.

AY: You don’t have to tell me that. I ain’t handing her over to those Founders. Or you, or anyone else, for that matter.

R: Didn’t you just say that you can do as you please? 

AY: So what if I did?

R: She also has the right to decide for herself. You’re free to think of her however you like. However, only Eve herself can make the choice. 

AY: That ‘Eve’ shit is none of my business. Pancake didn’t have any rights to begin with. She’s my prey. I shouldn’t have to listen to every single little thing that my prey wants.

R: Eve has a stronger will than you think she has. I urge you not to take that lightly. Especially not by considering her mere prey.

AY: Tch. Self-important bastard.

R: Besides, it’s only a matter of time until the Human World is no longer safe for her.

AY: What do you mean?

R: As the lunar eclipse progresses, your power will weaken. The Founders are undeniably waiting for the perfect moment to strike. You know this, and yet you’re still picking a fight with me?

AY: Fuck…

02:03 R: The Founders are immensely powerful. We vampires are no match against them with the lunar eclipse chipping away at our strength. Are you fine with the Founders taking Eve away? Because that is exactly where we’re headed right now.

AY: Of course not! I told you, she’s—

R: Yeah. You sensed the same danger I did and that’s exactly why you came here, right? So, if you would…

AY: Alright, I get it. So? What should we do? You gotta have a plan ready if you’re gonna boast like that.

R: I have something in mind, though it poses great risk. Especially for Eve.

AY: Anything’s better than letting the Founders get their filthy hands on her. What is it?

R: We bring her to the Demon World.

AY: The Demon World?!

R: This lunar eclipse is not just any lunar eclipse.

AY: Yeah, Reiji also said it’s taking place at the same time in both the Human World and the Demon World.

R: Exactly. Which means that you pureblood vampires are particularly susceptible to its influence.

AY: I know. Isn’t that why we resorted to joining forces with you lot?

R: However, our working together still does not guarantee victory against the Founders. We barely know anything about them.

AY: So that’s why you wanna take her to the Demon World?

R: This might be a gamble, but there is a possibility that the effect the lunar eclipse has on us is reduced there. Of course, I have no experience with this either.

AY: So it’s all or nothing?

R: Exactly. We have little hopes of winning against the Founders to begin with if we stay here. Don’t you think we would have better chances of succeeding if we go to the Demon World?

04:04 AY: If we take her along, Pancake might be more likely to die, though. More people’ll go after her just because she’s human.

R: You can’t even protect her from regular folk in the Demon World? Are you really that weak?

AY: The fuck?

R: You’re a Sakamaki. You should be able to deal with such nobodies with ease.

AY: Are you fuckin’ with me? Of course I can!

R: Our enemies are the Founders. The so-called First Bloods, who are said to be the origin of all of us. This is no time to be thinking about the lower classes of the Demon World.

AY: In any case, I’m not gonna let Pancake die. Besides, I definitely won’t let her fall into their hands.

R: Save your yapping for after we save Eve. If you’ve made up your mind about crossing the barrier, let’s get out of here quickly. We need to get to the Demon World before the lunar eclipse reaches its climax.

AY: You like givin’ orders, don’t you? Asshole.

[There’s a knock on the door.]

Azusa: Ruki… The lunar eclipse is pretty far along… Oh… Ayato? Why is he here…?

R: Don’t mind him. What’s important is that Eve is in great danger.

AZ: Eve?

AY: Those Founder assholes are after Pancake.

R: And the wolves that attacked us here seem to be their familiars.

AZ: Founders…? But why are they after Eve…?

Kanato: Mukami Azusa. I will never forgive you.

AZ: Oh, Kanato.

AY: Kanato? What’re you doing here?

K: I will avenge Teddy!

AY: Avenge Teddy? 

K: I can still hear him screaming amidst the flames. He’s hurting… He’s burning…

AY: Ah, so Teddy’s a pile of ash because of you.

06:14 AZ: Yeah… I’m sorry…

K: Apologising won’t give me Teddy back! I will never forgive you, Azusa! You burned him! I can’t forgive this. I won’t forgive this! I’m going to kill you!

[Kanato attacks Azusa, causing the two of them to topple over onto the ground.]

AZ: Oh…

K: I’ll fucking kill you! I won’t forgive you! I’ll never forgive you!

AY: Hey, Kanato! Cut it out!

[Ayato stops Kanato.]

K: Ayato! Why are you getting in my way? Do you want to get killed too? My Teddy is… Teddy is…

R: Are you alright, Azusa?

[Ruki pulls Azusa back onto his feet.]

AZ: Yeah… I’m alright…

R: What did you do to him?

AZ: When I went to get Eve… I ran into Kanato, and he stopped me…

K: Of course I did! She’s mine!

AZ: But we need Eve too, so… I threw his precious bear… into the fireplace…

K: He’s not a bear! He’s Teddy! Teddy! Teddy…

AY: Hey, Kanato. Doesn’t matter what he did. Stop crying.

K: Teddy… It hurts, doesn’t it? It burns, doesn’t it? I feel so bad for him… I will take the girl home right now.

AY: Huh? What’s this all of a sudden?

08:22 K: She will repair Teddy for me. I will take her home right now. Where is she?

AY: This isn’t the time to be asking that. You heard it too, right? The Founders are after Pancake.

K: That has nothing to do with me. She will repair Teddy.

R: You saw the pack of wolves too, didn’t you? You know full well how powerful the Founders are. Don’t get careless.

AZ: That’s true, Kanato… Eve might be in danger…

K: Shut up, shut up, shut up! Stop scolding me!

AY: But you wouldn’t want Pancake to die either, right?

K: What? I don’t care. If she dies, I’ll turn her into a beautiful wax doll. I don’t see anything bad about that.

AZ: Then… What about Teddy?

R: Yes. If you let her die, you will never hold Teddy in your arms again. Are you fine with that?

K: I don’t understand. She’s mine. I can do with her however I please, and she will repair Teddy for me!

[Kanato starts walking away.]

AY: Hey, Kanato! Where are you going?

K: I’m going to look for her. Where have you hidden her?!

[Kanato leaves the room.]

10:04 AY: Tch. He’ll kill her himself in this state. Damn it, I got no time for this shit— Hey, Kanato, wait!

[Ayato follows Kanato.]

AZ: Ruki… I’m sorry. It’s my fault…

R: No, it’s fine. We need Eve the most, after all. 

AZ: Yeah, that’s true…

R: We’d better hurry. We have to get to the Demon World before the lunar eclipse reaches its climax.

AZ: To the Demon World…?

R: Yes. I think our odds of protecting Eve are better there. Can you go tell Kou and Yuma?

AZ: Yeah, got it… We will protect Eve… right?

R: That’s exactly why we’re leaving for the Demon World.

AZ: Ruki… If one of us becomes Adam… I wonder if… all of us will one day… see the same bright blue sky… that we saw back then.

R: Yeah. We might.

AZ: This time… Eve would be there with us… right?

[Azusa leaves the room.]

R: There is barely any time left… But we will be the ones to protect you, Eve. No matter what it takes.

[Wolves howl in the distance…]

[sweetmariihs2]

✨️My Undertale Headcanons✨️

When they came out of the underground, most/all of the characters live next to eachother like a neighborhood. Mettaton has a big mansion and it's a little far from the rest of them, but it's still close enough to be part of it. He helped to afford a new "Blook Acres" for his cousins, Dummy, Napstablook and Mad Mew Mew (Shyren and her sister live next to them). Sans and Papyrus made their home exactly how it was when they were in the underground. Toriel, Frisk, Asgore and Flowey's house are right next to theirs. Alphys and Undyne live together and it's right next to Sans and Papyrus' house. Muffet and the other spiders have a Bakery and Grillby has a bar/restaurant.

Some of the monsters stayed in the underground. It's very silent there now that almost everyone is gone, that's one of the reasons why some monsters stayed — because of the silence. It's a bit depressing sometimes thinking about how that place is now so empty when there were so much people and happiness everywhere. Now it's just the snow and empty houses in Snowdin, waterfalls and water drops in Waterfall, and the sound of lava and the core in Hotland. MTT's resort is also closed. Monster's history is still preserved there, so some humans go to the underground to learn about history.

Mettaton loves chick flicks and that's how his love for the humans started. He found some of them at the dump, they came from different decades and not all of his collection is about romance, he once found DVDs about talk shows and quiz shows, also black n white movies from the golden age of hollywood. He didn't know the name of most of the actors or where those movies came from, except that they came from the surface. He knew at that moment that he wanted to be like them. He also found some CD's and even not knowing them so well, he absolutely loves pop singers like Lady Gaga, Beyoncé. He just never had enough information to know about their other albums or their personal lives. That was too far from his reality. Now that all the monsters are outside, he really wants do befriend them and it's a big fan of Rupaul's Drag Race. He would love to be on that show. Mettaton now has a lot of human fans now too. He loves to post things on social media, having thousands of followers in each one of them. He also has two or more shows in a human TV channel, maybe even his own MTT channel.

Mad Mew Mew ABSOLUTELY LOVES Babymetal. The RAGE mixed to that japanese kind of cuteness. IT'S PERFECT!!! Her favorite song is Doki Doki Morning (She likes meowing during the "mew mew mew" part and when the metal finnaly strikes it's just RAGEEEEE but then the song is cute again and she's all "mew mew mew :33333"). She listens to Babymetal alongside Alphys and Frisk. Now she's an otaku too just because of Alphys. They are friends. Mew Mew still has a little crush on Undyne, but it's not like she wants to date her anymore.

Alphys dances to Babymetal alongside Frisk and Mew Mew. They live in good terms and Alphys let them have the doll because she's more happy with it than Alphys was for just having that doll. She has a little crush on Mad Mew Mew by the way, because it's a living version of her anime waifu. They became good friends and Alphys watched Mew Mew Kissy Cutie with her so that she could understand the lore, because of her Mad Mew Mew is now also otaku. Alphys loves Saylor Moon, Pretty Cure franchise, Candy Love and other kinds of anime. She likes to read yaoi and yuri sometimes.

Papyrus turned out to be a big fan of Iron Maiden. Sans sometimes listen to their songs with him and both skip the songs that talk more about violence because Papyrus don't like it much. What is funny to Sans is that Papyrus' timbre perfectly matches the musical notes of the band's vocalists (especially Bruce Dickinson, who, let's face it, is everyone's favorite) and because of this it is more comfortable and free for him to sing all the notes. His favorite song is CLEARLY Alexander The Great, for obvious reasons. Sans' and Papyrus' favorite album is Somewhere in Time. Sans relates a little to the lyrics of "Deja Vu", but Papyrus likes the band a lot more than him. Undyne likes Iron Maiden too and sometimes sings them on karaoke with Papyrus, both acting and making heroic poses while they sing. Flowey enjoys it too but his kind of metal is a little heavier.

So cute

Sans reminds me of Porco Rosso. It's not a headcanon I just wanted to tell you guys. Their personality is very similar and that's how I see Sans' character.

Sans likes to listen to Iron Maiden with Papyrus but also enjoy some calmer songs. I'm not sure who is his favorite artist, but I think that he would listen a little bit to Lana Del Rey. Especially her latest albums. He really likes the instrumental ending in "If You Lie Down With Me". He knows that some people consider her too "girly" for him to listen, but he really doesn't mind, it's good music after all. He likes calm songs with good instrumental and good lyrics.

Flowey starts living with the other monsters too, like in the "flower pot au". Most of his 'friends' know that he's prince Asriel, but he asked them to call him Flowey, even Toriel and Asgore. When worried, sad or having a deep conversation, sometimes Toriel or Asgore call him "Asriel", mostly Toriel. This makes him very emotional. He's also learning how to develop emotions again and it's being hard. Flowey discovered that listening to metal can calm his nerves, letting it all out. It's very funny to watch a little flower headbanging to a death metal song. He also enjoys singing guttural and he feels better after doing it so. It's like he can express his angry side without harming anyone in the process (Frisk is teaching him how to do it).

Asgore and Toriel are getting well together. They are becoming friends again, even flirting sometimes. Both of them talked about how they felt after those events in the underground and explained their point of view, finally ending that stupid distance. Asgore feels guilty for what he did, and Toriel understands that he had to do it because he thought it was the only option. They've been recovering from the greif of their children and everything seems to be better now. Being eachother's bestfriend again really helps a lot dealing with the guilt. They understand that they had to go and it wasn't their fault.

Frisk is a big AURORA fan due to her pacifist songs. They feel like her songs give them the energy to keep being a good person, caring for other people and helping the world. Papyrus enjoys some of her songs too because Frisk explained to him what the lyrics meant. Frisk tells Flowey that "Churchyard" makes them think of him (he understands why but gets grumpy because of it)(and it also makes them think of Sans, but they never told him because these are memories from other save). Some of their favorite songs are Animal, A Different Kind Of Human, Apple Tree, All Is Soft Inside, Soft Universe, It Happened Quiet. Toriel pretends that doesn't relate to the lyrics of Midas Touch to avoid explanation (she heard Frisk listening to it one time and paid attention to the lyrics, so that's how that happened).

Asgore and Toriel enjoy some calmer songs too. Sans is one of Toriel's best friends, and one day he came to their house and Toriel asked him to put any song he likes. He choosed "Let The Light In", which is another one from Lana that he listens to, and that's how Toriel started listening to her too. Again, only her latest albums (they feel that her older albums are too sad). Because of them Asgore also started to listen to her songs. They like to make "tea parties" for their friends while Toriel brings her butterscotch pie and Asgore makes the tea, hearing those songs playing in the background. It brings such a cozy feeling.

And then the karaoke moment starts and Papyrus and Undyne are screaming on the microphone. Mettaton likes to sing too (sometimes with Shyren), Napstablook controls the audio. Asgore tries, but he knows he's not the best at singing. Mad Mew Mew wants to sing Babymetal, Alphys really wants to sing with her but she's too embarassed to do it so Undyne helps sometimes and encourages her. Frisk dances with them because they're not really into singing. Sans is too lazy to sing and he says that he's not the best at it.

I wanna add more headcanons to this list. Gonna keep updating when thinking about new ones!

[colorisbyshe]

Not to put more Neil Gaiman in your inbox, but in a rare CYA PR move by Amazon, if you (as in your followers) have an ebook or audiobook via audible, they are letting folks return them for credit without much difficulty. If you have multiple works, you might have to submit them over a few days but it’s definitely doable. Fuck Neil.

Interesting! Wonder how far back that goes. To anyone this may interest, go for it, return his shit! After glancing thru a Reddit post, your best bet is going through a human agent and not a bot. Some may refuse if you got the book too long ago.

And if you have physical goods—books, comics, dvds/blu rays—I do ask that you donate them. This may sound counter intuitive, to keep his shit still circulating, but making sure people who are desperate to have his shit don’t actually pay him for it is actually a good thing. To be clear, I’m still for just destroying it. Or even just privately keeping it in a box of shame or whatever

But if you’re truly having a crisis over it… it’s better to ensure people can access his shit without paying him for it. In an ideal world, no one would want to touch his projects anymore but well… as the good omens (and dead bot detectives and coralline and sandman) freaks have made clear… there are lots of people who can’t let go

I used to be “the only good option is destroying it” but after talking to a librarian friend about the ethics of supplying copies so people don’t buy them on their own and turning one single past purchase in a way to stop many future purchases… do consider this

It’s not a perfect solution but it may help you turn an awful moment into something more positive than it could’ve been. I’ve had to donate shit I could no longer find joy in and hopefully it helped my local library make some cash, it was a win win

[yonderghostshistories]

My (Rambling) Eulogy for Graham Chapman

Today marks the 35th Death Anniversary of Graham Chapman, who was unfairly taken away from this Earth FAR too soon and FAR too young from throat cancer. He was 48 years old.

Graham means a lot to me, as you all may know. When I first started getting into Monty Python back in 2023, Graham was (and still very much is) certainly my favourite Python…but I wasn’t as obsessed (not in weird way though dw) with him like I am now. When 2024 hit, I pretty much became OBSESSED (again not in a weird way dw) with him, like I bought his autobiography (fittingly called “A Liar’s Autobiography”), the animated movie adaptation of “A Liar’s Autobiography” (2012), then a few months later I got the audiobook cassette tape of ALA (read by the man himself) and THEN a few months after that, I recently got the DVD of Graham’s college tours in America, called “Graham Chapman : Looks Like a Brown Trouser Job”.

This all may or may not sound kinda waffling and somewhat pointless when I listed them out to y’all (to which I get) but the reason I got these was because of my treasured love of Graham. I love Graham with all my heart’s desire.

Graham was (and still is) very much indeed a remarkable and unique human being. Not just for his comedy (Altho that is equally important as well as his creativity and unique style for it really benefited the entire group of Monty Python, if you know what I mean) but for his transparency for speaking about his personal problems and insecurities, such as speaking about his alcoholism. And not only that, he had genuinely really thought provoking and inspiring things to say about, not just his life, but for life itself and for other people as well. He was a gay-leaning bisexual, and he was proud of it as well! He, like Michael Palin, had the versatility of playing both straight (hehe) and serious characters (like the Colonel) as well as truly bonkers and crazy characters as well (like Raymond Luxury-Yacht (pronounced Throatwobbler Mangrove)) and he played these characters with absolute PERFECTION!

I think that’s why I relate to Graham so much. I mean I’m not an alcoholic obviously, but I do relate to certain aspects of Graham’s personality and his problems, and his bonkers attitude does remind me of my own ADHD and autism, or at least certain aspects of my own neurodivergency.

As sad as it is that he died way too young and way too soon in the late 1980s, I’m still happy and proud of Gray for having achieved sobriety very early on in the late 1970s, and having lived his last years of life with a certainly different and happier spirit!

I wish that if Gray hadn’t got throat cancer and had lived, I would’ve the chance to meet him, and aside from fanning out so much, I feel like we would’ve been best friends, or at least have a nice (if short) time together.

Graham Arthur Chapman, the bonkers yet brilliant man that he was, the wonderful and hilarious legacy that he has left on this Earth will live on forever and ever!

Graham Arthur Chapman, you will be missed….but….you will also be remembered for the craziness and emotionalness and hilarity that you’ve brung to the world.

Rest in Peace Graham Chapman (8th January 1941 - 4th October 1989), you’re not the Messiah, you’re just a very naughty Angel of a boy 😇🕊️🫶❤️…….

[marta-diablo]

‘Noel and Julian were possibly aroused’: The Mighty Boosh turns 20 – in pictures

 ‘Something magic happens when they get together’

While filming the surreal comedy, Dave Brown AKA Bollo was on hand with a camera to snap awkward kisses, creepy venues … and crack foxes ordering pie and mash

Tony & Dennis (Series 3 – The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox, 2007)

Dave Brown: ‘Lunchtime on set was a feast for the eyes. It was always a treat seeing cast members milling about munching on a jacket potato with ridiculous full face of makeup, asking for more cheese on their beans. Here, Noel Fielding (Tony Harrison) and Julian Barratt (Dennis the Head Shaman) pose for a quick shot before tucking into their pasta bake. Behind the Boosh 20, an exhibition by Boosh cast member Dave Brown AKA Bollo, is at the pop-up Behind the Gallery, London, 10-13 October. All photographs Dave Brown

Up on the Roof (Series 3 – Party, 2007)

‘During a particularly long scene, Noel and Julian look a little nervous and possibly slightly aroused as they contemplate their upcoming big kiss scene. I love the light and composition of this shot’

Tony & Saboo (Series 3 – Eels, 2007)

‘This was a particularly special scene. On Head Shaman Dennis’s stag do, Saboo rubs sun cream into Tony Harrison’s smooth pink crease, saying: “Don’t leave it in thick blobs, rub it in. Factor seven?! Shit off! I need factor 67 you ball bag!” It was always a hilarious pleasure to witness Noel and Richard Ayoade riffing off of each other in scenes, kinda like jazz, but jazz on bikes. Two very funny humans in ridiculous costumes at the top of their game, trying to out laugh each other with hilarious absurdities’

Luna Looks (Luna Park, Melbourne comedy festival, 2001)

‘Noel throws me his best blue steel look beneath the giant face of Luna Park as I lie on the pavement among the chewing gum and cigarette butts trying to get the angle. Melbourne festival was always very special, such an amazing city with brilliant crowds’

Come Play With Us (Aberdeen Future Sailors Tour, Press and Journal Arena, 2008)

‘The last gig of an insane tour. A strange place to end things after 99 dates that included Brixton, Wembley, Manchester and Sheffield but still, it was a great gig. Rich Fulcher was doing his usual dicking about pre-show in the corridors, grooving to tunes, practising his fossil moves. As I walked around the corner he was at the end and the blue suit reminded me of the Shining twins. I took two shots of him stood holding his own hand then comped them together. Way more terrifying than Kubrick’s version’

Hitcher Nabootique (Series 3 – Eels, 2007)

‘Loved this set: the sign, the lighting and one of my favourite characters, the Hitcher. Him walking up to the door in the rain was just a perfect moment to capture. All undercut by the ridiculous graffiti. Not sure why “loose change” makes me laugh so much, it’s one of those perfect examples of Noel and Julian’s writing and their way with language’

Noel Draws (Noel’s House during the Future Sailors Tour, 2008)

‘I spent many an evening pre-tour and sometimes during tour, in my flat or at Noel’s place, scribbling artworks for tour posters, DVDs, the book. The two of us produced all of that material. Old art school mates getting busy with the fizzy. We could draw those Boosh faces in our sleep, which became a bit of a problem some nights on tour in posh hotels’

Moody Naboo (Series 3 – Journey to the Centre of the Punk, 2007)

‘Naboo was indeed an enigma. Often found gazing into the middle-distance meditating deep astral conundrums, solving some of the world���s biggest problems and answering those age-old impossible questions like what flavour Pot Noodle he was going to have later when watching Columbo. Here is one of those moments in-between scenes shooting series three in a warehouse in a disused Ministry of Defence site somewhere in Surrey’

Foxy Man (Series 3 – The Strange Tale of the Crack Fox, 2007)

‘One of my favourite characters: those two voices, the laugh, the costume and makeup, terrifyingly hilarious! This is me capturing Julian just after lunch break walking back on set. It was a wonderful vision seeing the Crack Fox stood upright on two legs by the catering van ordering pie and mash from a visibly disturbed catering assistant, all while the real hungry Hackney crack foxes looked on through distant bushes in awe and jealousy’

Fossil Faces (Series 3 Rehearsals – American International Church, London, 2007)

‘Rich isn’t really acting in The Boosh. The character Bob Fossil is 92.4% Fulcher. A force of nature, he will crush any down moment anyone is having with his comedy fists and have you wetting your little blue pants in a hot minute. These shots were taken during rehearsals for series three in the American church on Tottenham Court Road in London. It was a pretty intense afternoon with some writing issues and a few moody clouds brewing. Then Rich provides these six faces and everyone’s laughing again’

Hippy Boosh (Series 2 – The Call of the Yeti, 2005)

‘Vince, Parsley and Naboo in full Polyphonic Spree get-up in front of the big blue studio 11 doors at 3 Mills Studios in east London. We’d just been shooting the song scene in Call of the Yeti and I was still in my Bollo suit. It always amused me when cast and crew from other shows filming at 3 Mills would walk past and assume this show had a Gorilla as the official set photographer’

Bendelack Directing (Pilot Episode –Tundra, Pinewood Studios, 2003)

‘Steve Bendelack directed loads of our favourites: Lee and Herring, Newman and Baddiel, League of Gentlemen. So when he was directing the pilot episode of Arctic Boosh at Pinewood Studios it was a pinch-me moment. Paul King took over from Steve when the first series was commissioned by the BBC. Steve was no doubt busy on something else. Or maybe he swerved it? Stewart Lee, who directed Noel and Julian in the Arctic Boosh stage show for the Edinburgh fringe in the late 90s, said it was like ‘trying to direct smoke’

Mutant Readers (Series 1 – Mutants, 3 Mills Studios, 2004)

‘Mike [Fielding] having some down time in his dressing room sipping on a brew and glancing across at a coupon for 10p off Monster Munch. Two trained thespians sit beside him on the smallest sofa in Europe; one reads a crime novel and an unshaven Pete from Dixons in the middle reads about how Bolton are on the brink’

Graffiti (Series 3 – The (Power of the) Crimp, 2007)

‘I’ve known Noel for over 30 years and Julian for over 25. Something magic happens when those two get together. They’re one of the great double-acts. It was never easy getting a decent shot of them together. Noel on his own was easy; he’d spot a camera lens a mile away in heavy fog. Julian, on the other hand, was usually eating, talking, squinting those already tiny eyes or hiding somewhere in a cabinet. I love these two nincompoops like brothers’

x

[catsgetoutduringmidnight]

Aziraphale & Eddington.

Neil has confirmed us that David Tennant *actually* exists within the Good Omens universe. Thus, we may assume that the whole of his filmography, except for Good Omens, also exists. We may assume as well that Aziraphale has more or less followed Doctor Who over the decades, and that somehow, with time, the actor of his favourite doctor earned an eerie similarity to Job. But this isn't about him, right now. This is about his son in law.

I would like to think Aziraphale did enjoy the utterly handsome Eighth doctor, ending up glued to the screen and getting deeply excited about this incarnation. He probably got upset because of his only appearance on TV, but would still be delighted to see the series coming back to the BBC in 2005. The Ninth doctor may have appeared a bit tough to him at first, but there was something deeply endearing about him. Maybe it was the way he rocked that leather jacket, or his sense of humour, or his bravery, or his charming accent... He never really knew, but it was sad to say goodbye so soon again. "Who will be the new doctor?" He thought to himself. "Will they be blond? Taller? Will they wear a vest? A bowtie perhaps?". When the young man appeared on screen before Rose for the first time, Aziraphale was left completely mesmerised. The young man was... Different. He had slightly long hair and, honestly, he really liked how the leather jacket suited him too. Once the credits rolled, he found out his name: David. "Oh, that's a lovely name," he thought to himself. "That's the name of a king!".

He followed his seasons very carefully, blushing with his cheekiness, chuckling with his jokes, and loving how adventurous and fair the man was. Thanks to Crowley, he even dared to go to "the videoclub" and rent some of his earlier works. Oh, how handsome the man looked in The Last September, what a dear he was in Takin' Over the Asylum, how lovely he was in Duck Patrol, and what a cocky detective he was in Blackpool... Although, he admitted not being too focused on observing his labour as a detective there. The young man was rather handsome. Aziraphale flushed, could this be love? How silly of him! Falling in love with an actor! He was an angel! Which, inherently, also meant he was born to love. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't something bad. It could be silly, of course, but forgivable.

One afternoon, Aziraphale went to the videoclub on his own, and found a movie he hadn't checked out yet. Einstein and Eddington, a scientific movie it was. The young man looked wonderful in those glasses and stunning sandrift linen suit. Humans may say one mustn't judge a book by its cover, but this dvd already seemed perfect for him! Thus, the angel rented it and decided to treat himself with the film. He laid on his white cream sofa, got under his soft tartan blanket, and pressed the play button. A smile came across his face when he saw the man in those light refined clothes. What a delight to the sight that was.

The angel felt it deeply when he learnt that Eddington was in love with a man he couldn't have, but his heart did not only wrench there, no. It was when he saw the man stand before the orrery when things got clearer. He had to pause the video. Aziraphale got up and sat close before the screen, brushing his fingers against the image. "Crowley..." He mumbled. The only thing in his mind was the image of the spectacular ginger angel he met, in their neat white dress, creating a whole universe in front of his eyes. The way their thin fingers moved, the eagerness in their voice, the dark greenish of their gaze, way more breathtaking than the vastness of hues of the newborn nebulae. And when the blond saw, further on, the physicist crying desperately for his vanished love in the wide green garden, his heart shattered into shards.

He would not admit it, but he did not watch the movie just once that night. Not twice either. Eddington was just like his dear boy, not specifically the angel, nor specifically the demon. It was him. With their curiosity, and their passion, and their deep care, and hunger for answers and justice. He felt warm tears threatening to fall from his eyes and his mind started wandering. Because, what if. Just, what if Crowley had ever felt like Eddington? What if he was worried that one day he would never see his angel again? What if there were feelings trapped in his chest he feared never being able to express? Would he be like the astronomer and, once again, question God for her ineffable decisions? It took Aziraphale a good while to get away from the screen, from that eerily familiar image fueling his heart. It took him days for his sorrow over the fictional Eddington's life to lighten, after being the root of many, many wondering.

The next time the angel met his partner, he was certainly still caught up in his thoughts. The demon noticed, so he decided to ask him about his series and that actor that had truly drawn his attention. He didn't really know what he saw in him, but it didn't take much to notice the pure bliss in his blue eyes when he told him about his character's adventures. The way his words flowed in excitement and his hands often moved around to help with it. The angel was finally enjoying himself in something else than books and occasional music, and seeing him so cheerful did really brighten the demon too.

"How are things going with your binge watching? Have you gotten your hands on another series, or...?"

Aziraphale slowly lifted up his head and stared nervously into Crowley's eyes. He did not know what to say, how could he put into words his worry? Even worse, how to explain where all this came from? The ginger would probably laugh. Worrying that deeply about a character? A movie character? The angel got dewy-eyed. Please no, not in front of him, not like this, he prayed. The demon frowned, he sensed there was something his beloved couldn't easily tell.

"Aziraphale? Is everything alright?" The ginger asked softly. The principality breathed deeply and finally, managed to speak, as he fiddled with his vest.

"I- I just watched a movie, a sad one I must say. It made me think." The demon hummed, and answered.

"I get it. It's understandable, and if that David guy is really that good as you say, I bet his acting can move tons of people." Aziraphale's gaze brightened, he couldn't believe what he had just heard. "I mean, I can see him being very talented. From what you've told me, the man does really have a range for acting. That's always important, to be able to adapt-."

"You really listened." Crowley was about to keep on rambling when he saw the angel in awe.

"Well, I have ears, what else am I supposed to do with them if its not listening?"

Tears fell off the angel's eyes. Crowley did not hesitate to get closer, inviting him into his arms. In a matter of seconds, the blond was in his embrace. He hugged his Angel tightly, and let him cry as much as he needed, caressing his back. He could not help but mutter in a caring tone.

"You and your stories, Angel."

[bleach-your-panties]

Heyyy babe 💗💗 I saw your Valentine’s event and it’s so cute!! Can I please request G + K + N for Yuuji bae? 😘💗 I am sending you lots of love and thank you for this sweet event 💗💗

Hey Winter bae!! 🤍🤍Thank you for sending this in for Yuuji-poo!🫶🏽 Sending more love back🥰

a/n: they are in their 3rd year here and gojo is still their teacher because he just has to be. nobara is also here because she just has to be.

----

❥⋱G- Gift: What did he get you?

Now, it took Yuuji a little time to decide on the perfect gift for you, because we all know our baby is a little dumb and doesn’t actually know much about what girls like. Of course, he had to drag Megumi and Nobara along for this little impromptu shopping trip, much to their (Megumi’s) disinclination. 

So, as they’re strolling through the Tokyo shopping district, Yuuji's thinking hard about what you might like.

“Oh, there’s a video store! Let’s go in here!” 

Megumi scowls immediately and Nobara is very tempted to slap the pinkette upside his head.

“Idiotdori, this is why girls don’t like you.” Nobara told him after following through with slapping him upside the head. Yuuji grimaced and rubbed the bump that was beginning to form through his messy pink locks.

“Y/N likes me…”

“An unfortunate revelation for her, I’m sure.”

Yuuji just decided to let that last comment fly and look around the store. Posters advertising the latest release of his favorite movie, Human Earthworm, were strewn up on the walls, which gave him an idea.

Since Valentine’s Day was right around the corner, the store had a little display shelf of romantic movies set up near the checkout counter, ranging in genres from comedy to horror. How a horror movie can be romantic, well, just ask Yuuji.

He approached the display, started picking though the titles, and came upon a strategically placed box of those friendship necklaces where one person wears half the heart and gives the second half to their significant other.

“Why are you getting her a friendship necklace, she’s your girlfriend.” Nobara chastised as Yuuji went to the counter with his armload of purchases.

“She’s also my best friend, so I think it’s a fitting gift!” The pink-haired male retorted, sticking his tongue out. Megumi was just here so he didn’t get fined.

Gojo then appeared out of thin air, giggling at how flustered Yuuji looked while he waited his turn in line, and even offered to pay for everything. Yuuji declined politely because this was going to be your first Valentine’s Day together and he wanted to do it himself.

—

Yuuji decided to give you your gifts during the Valentine’s Day party Gojo threw for the class (and had catered and everything)

He approached you with a shy disposition; unusual for him, but he was nervous that you wouldn’t like his gifts.

“Y/N! I got you this!” Yuuji thrust a big, rectangular white box with a light pink satin ribbon tied around it into your arms. 

You stumbled back a bit with an ‘oof’ - the box was pretty heavy!

“I really hope that you like it!” He bowed his head with his cheeks tinted pink.

Walking over to your desk, you moved your Valentine cards and gifts from Megumi and Nobara to the side and set the box down. Upon opening it, you let out a soft gasp: inside the box laid a bouquet of small pink tulips, reminiscent of Yuuji’s hair color; the necklace, an assortment of DVDs, and multiple movie snacks.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the arrangement of everything, the time and thought that he had to put into this to make it look nice for you. First, you picked up the necklace, and a soft smile adorned your face as you read what it said.

“Best Friends Forever.”

“Flip it over.” Yuuji now stood next to you, watching with careful eyes.

On the back, one side of the necklace was engraved with his initials and the other yours. 

“We can each wear the opposite, so we’ll always have a piece of each other’s heart.” He said, sounding so cute.

Your throat started to get scratchy; you had to swallow so you didn’t end up crying. Still your voice wobbled a bit,

“Yuu, I love this, and you got…Human Earthworm, all five of them, wow..” You laughed while subtly trying to blink away the tears.

“So…you like it?” Yuuji asked with his honey-gold eyes blown wide.

“I love it. This is so thoughtful; thank you, baby. I can’t wait to watch all of them with you.”

Yuuji was overjoyed that you actually ended up liking his gift! He held you to him as you wrapped your arms around his torso, then flipped Nobara the bird with a triumphant grin on his face.

Nobara rolled her eyes and turned towards Megumi, who was just silently observing from his desk.

“Why did you let him buy that?!”

“What do you mean ‘let’ - no way you’re trying to blame this on me right now…”

Meanwhile, a chibi version of Gojo was in the background snapping photos with his old-school Polaroid camera while pink hearts floated around his head.

Safe to say that Yuuji does know a little bit about what girls like. His girl, at least.

❥⋱K - Kiss: Get those lips ready! Smooches 💋

Yuuji loves kissing you! He gets so excited about it, too. It makes his heart swell with pride and love when you ask him for kisses, and even more so when others are around, because that shows just how much you're into him. Though if you're a little shy, he won’t pressure you into PDA; he never wants to make his baby feel uncomfortable, even with him. French-kissing is his favorite; he just loves the taste of you so much, and the little sounds that you make when he moves his tongue a certain way. He also likes to leave kisses (and hickies) all along the expanse of your neck and shoulder, making sure that you can still cover them with your top.

❥⋱N - Naughty: One thing he’d like to try in the bedroom.

This young man has an incredibly large sexual appetite, so honestly there’s probably not too much that you haven't tried in the bedroom already. Though something that never really crossed his mind was Facetime sex. 

“Yuuji, you’re only a few rooms down from me? If you want to have sex, we just…can.” You asked in confusion.

He shook his head profusely,

“No, babe. I want to try something different. I want to be able to look at you but not be able to touch you. I want to yearn for you.”

You were pretty shocked when he admitted this but decided to give it a go-ahead.

Now, whenever you’re away on long solo missions, you’ll have to be extra careful about accepting Facetime calls from Yuuji, lest everyone around you gets an eyeful of him stroking his long, hard cock for you, whining your name, and saying how much he misses you as he overstimulates himself for your viewing pleasure.

----

valentine a-z ©bleach-your-panties 2024. do not steal, repost, or upload my shit to tiktok! reblogs always welcome!

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 18/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 14.5, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22, PART 23, PART 24, PART 25, PART 26

Update: There will be a change in the chapter upload schedule. New chapters here will be posted MWF starting this week so next update will be on Friday. While TTh are days for me to rewrite and post story 1 chapters on ao3.

Thank you for your understanding <3

-----------------------------------------------

Adam is actually adjusting rather well in Hell which, honestly, baffled Charlie and the others. Lucifer not so much because he's pretty sure Adam was not meant for Heaven but they didn't wanna embarrass themselves by having the first human soul fall in Hell.

And they say Lucifer's the prideful one.

Sure, the dickhead bitches and complains but he deduced the guy would do it regardless of where he was. He always thought that Adam was a lazy ass son of a bitch who's all dick and no brains; like one of those jock characters from Charlie's DVD collection.

Maybe that's why he's adjusting so well. His attitude is very on brand for Hell.

Still doesn't explain this, though.

Lucifer: How are you so good at this? I thought you said you hated it.

Adam: I said I hated it not that I'm shit at it. Besides, who the fuck loves doing paperwork?

Today, Lucifer is at the palace catching up on centuries worth of documents that he missed during this 'me-time'. The Sins initially offered to take over so that he could rest but he insists on doing it himself. He feels bad about relying on the Sins too much every time there's a problem. He's supposed to the older brother! The-uh- King of Hell! And what King can't even do simple paperwork?

Apparently he is, because he and Adam have been at this for days now and the pile just never seem to lessen. He's beginning to think someone has cursed him to be stuck here forever.

Speaking of Adam, Lucifer won't admit it to his face but the other has been a very big help; like they're actually making progress and none of the work is half-assed too.

He can't help but look on in wonder at how the first man is just zooming through the endless papers.

Adam: Oi. I know I'm a fine piece of art but can you stop lookin' at me like that? Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Lucifer: I just can't get my head around all this.

Adam: What's not to get, bruh? You know I'm good at everything; even the boring shit. I handle Sera's when she's too busy doing fuck knows too, you know!

Lucifer: Excuse- what?! You handled Sera's documents?? And she didn't stop you the first time???

Adam: Okay- why the fuck are you acting like that's such a shock?

Lucifer: Helloooooo it's freakin' Sera? It's you? I just-

Lucifer makes an exaggerated gesture of scratching his head in mock confusion.

Lucifer: -is she out of her mind? Did she suffer some form of brain damage?

Adam: Okay, look. You are making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be, I don't pry into your stupid skills and insecurities.

Lucifer: Bitch, you literally do that all the time!

It was nice, in a weird way, how they're bantering. It almost reminds Lucifer of the first days he came to Eden; how Lilith and Adam pretended for a bit to get along for him.

As an angel, he was taught to see the good in everything. After all, everything was made by Father's hand so why would they be anything less than good and perfect?

They say that God is omnipotent and all-knowing, so he often wonders if his Father intentionally made the humans that way. Still does not explain why he would cast him out when the mistake was in his Father's hands.

Because.

Adam was fun until he said something about Lilith. Adam was fine until he acts like a 'man'. Adam was a friend until he wasn't.

Eden was one hell of a reality check. Pun intended.

Man, was pre-humanity Heaven always been cult-like?

Adam: Bro, how bout you shut up and let me do the work you've forced upon me. And why are you here anyway? I thought you live at that hotel now.

Lucifer: Oh? Would you rather do the work there? I have to warn you; Nifty goes in and out of rooms as she pleases to clean so-

Adam: Ah!!!! Don't say that name!

Lucifer: What? Afraid she's gonna come out of the mirror like some sort of Bloody Mary?

Adam bearing his teeth at him like a wild animal is a funny sight to see but then a got a very genius idea, a literal lightbulb turned on above his head.

Lucifer: Nifty...

Sensing what Lucifer is doing, Adam scrambles up and charges at him. Lucifer dodged him with ease and flies high above the room away from prying hands.

Lucifer: Niftyyyyy~

Adam: Lucifer, stop that shit!

Lucifer: Niffffffffffffffty-

Nifty: Hey guys!

The scream the two let out at the sudden voice were embarrassingly high enough to be mistaken for a teenage girl's.

Adam: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Lucifer: Jesus Christ!

Despite the panic in front of her, the little cyclops just smiled on.

Lucifer: Nifty, what in the world are you doing here?

Adam: Get that thing away from me!

Lucifer: Oh don't be such a baby, it's just Nifty.

Adam: You screamed too, asshole!

He gave Adam a wave to say 'whatever' and turns back to Nifty who has her eyes locked on the panicking demon behind him.

Maybe he should let her have at it at him just a little.

Nifty: I'd love to start a goat collection hehe~

Okay, nevermind. With Adam's surprising skills at organization, he can't afford to die yet until he finishes Lucifer's paperwork.

Lucifer: Uh Nifty, my question?

Nifty: Yes, roach queen?

Lucifer: Roach what? You know what, don't answer that. I asked why are you here.

Nifty: Oh! Miss Charlie is calling for you. Seems pretty urgent.

Lucifer: Did something happen at the hotel?

Nifty: Not really!

Lucifer: So?? What is it???

Nifty: Have you been outside at all, Mr. King?

Lucifer: Well no. We've been holled up all day doing this-

He vaguely gestures to the mess of his office.

Lucifer: And I put up a sound barrier so we wouldn't get distracted. I've also turned off my phone sooooooooOHHHH my god!

What the shit?? 666 missed calls??? Most of them are from Charlie.

Nifty: Said that no one could reach you. The others are trying to calm the panic cause most of the icky demons went straight into the hotel. I wanted to stab them but Miss Charlie told me to just come here and get you!

Probably to prevent bloodshed. His daughter is so smart but-

Lucifer: What actually is happening, Nifty?

Nifty: Oh! The sky is falling!

-----------------------------------------------

Sorry if it's a bit short but I just wanted to write AdamsApple banter and a bit of introspective.

Also, is that a chicken little reference???

Kudos to you if you saw that Spring Broken reference (arguably my fave Helluva Boss episode all because of the creative insults)

[azol-otl]

DVD commentary about half footJason. He's such a little guy but God I love him.

Anything, brujay/royjay/jaydick, please tell me more about his relationships.

Ahhh Jaysun (half-foot Jason) my incredibly unwell little guy. For those who don't know, I have two fics about a dcu and dungeon meshi fusion (shameless self plug). There's a lot of words so...whoops lol.

So the thing about the Dungeon Meshi universe, is that when you put in dc, the subtext involving classism, racism and such that the author's don't think about/unwittingly put in becomes straight text. And in that it can lead to a lot of unfortunate implications becoming very...straight up there. And I'll openly admit that I'm pretty biased against Bruce so it won't be kind to him.

Jaysun (Jay + Sun to fit with the half-foot naming convention), was created when I started looking more into the lore of Dungeon Meshi. With half-foots known as thieves, liars, and shady overall and the general populace not even thinking twice about exploiting them or seeing them as the bottom of the hierarchy, it reads a lot like how dc makes heroes view criminals and poverty (if they aren't infantalizing the poor which is also a thing that the setting does to half-foots). And unlike "demi-humans" they're part of overall mainstream society instead of something separate (and not considered human). Which to me felt like a perfect fit for Jason both as Robin and as an adult because it's a life that Bruce wouldn't even be able to fathom. Alongside that, with a lower life expectancy, Bruce's patronizing attitude (and that of everyone else) is only aggravated and increased towards Jaysun.

Meanwhile Bruce, to me, has to be in a position of privilege and wealth for his whole thing to work. A lot of his flaws and skills comes from that disconnect. And in Dungeon Meshi, the most privileged are Elves and Dwarves. And for Bruce I chose the latter as it fits more in his image of masculinity as well as his focus on technology and combat (and Bruce with magic is just, why are you even using Bruce at that point when his whole shtick is baseline human fighting crime/things way above his weight class). Add into that half-foor culture idolizing (or at least seeing as something to strive for) dwarves and their culture, it just made for a really messy situation when Bruce adopts Jaysun.

But the thing is, Jaysun being adopted at 12 going on 13 is different than Jason being adopted at that age because a half-foot is considered a full adult by age 14 and even then we see people under that age doing things we'd connect to "adulthood" (i.e. Chilchuck was a father of two by the time he was fourteen). It leads to a messy situation where Jaysun already feels and considers himself an adult (which Jason does in the comics as well, and is something Bruce straight up says to Gordon because of Jason's experiences despite the guy barely being a teenager). This leads to a Mia-esque situation where Jaysun falls for Bruce in a romantic and sexual sense since he is, by all accounts, soon an adult (he still dies at the same age)(Mia did have short lived crushes on Ollie and later Connor and Roy and it is something normal that happens to older foster kids. Repeat, this is normal and those feelings later morph into something different in most cases.) This is something that Bruce never even considers about because dwarves aren't adults until they're 40 (which means to Bruce even Dick who is an adult man by tall-men standards, is still a kid and this was a major wedge between them as Bruce simply didn't internalize the differences between them).

It also leads to major imposter syndrome in Jaysun as he sees himself as a replacement for Dick (which Jason also does), but in this case it's one who's even easier to control and treat like a pet. Is he right? Only sorta. Bruce probably doesn't mean to do so, but it's in the same way Senshi and Marcille still haven't understood the way they treat their friends (see: Marcille and Falin).

A load of stuff happens between Jaysun's death and him leaving Gotham for Melini (for reasons I still gotta write about 😅)

For relationships:

Jaysun -> Roy: Roy is probably the person Jaysun trusts the most. Roy, as someone from the Western Continent, has had his fair share of experiences close to Jaysun's involving the perception against him as well as experiences being dropped by loved ones even if they have, for the most part, reconciled. Roy is one of the five (him, Kori, Bizarro, Artemis, Talia) people that knows Jaysun's ability to use magic despite his race's infamous lack of skill and capability with it. He doesn't know the reason WHY, but he knows when to push and when not to. Jaysun and Roy are regulars in dungeon parties that the other leads or are a part of. Jaysun meanwhile is someone who will have to be torn apart from Roy because they both have attachment issues worse than Jaysun's self image, self harm, and fear of abandonment issues (which Roy does share). Most of these will take a lot of work to handle but considering Jaysun's stuck on light to no work for the next few months (the actual canon dungeon meshi story), I have faith in them.

Jaysun -> Dick: So so so so many Bruce issues holy shit. As much as Dick and Jaysun don't want to admit it, both have a load of similar experiences as not being seen as a person with agency caused by being raised by a long lived race when both of them are short lived ones (Dick being a tall-man). This is something that's touched upon with Kabru in Dungeon Meshi, but his foster mother was different beast from Bruce though both have absolutely caused issues in their kids. At the same time Jaysun having been taken in second, resents Dick for having a closer place to Bruce while Jaysun feels like he was more of a pet than a son (both part of the family but not equal in it). Meanwhile Dick dislikes Jaysun's overall demeanor and holds what he did in Gotham against him (which, fair) even if in the end both of them are in the same place (away from Bruce, not thought of completely as people by the man they devoted a large chunk of their lives to (most of his life in Dick's case as at 30 he's reached the halfway point for tall-men), and floundering to find footing despite their supports networks (Dick was part of a dungeoneering group called the Titans which are about as close as you can get to celebrity status for their kind of work). Also unlike Jaysun, Dick hasn't accepted his own attraction to Bruce who despite the over twenty years he's known Dick, has changed little while Dick has become a man grown. They had sex once in the dungeon that was ill-advised and hurt both of them and probably have it a few more times specifically for those reasons until they start seeing one another on more equal terms (if that ever happens). Tldr; the spectre of Bruce haunts them.

[adhdbisexualramblings]

I’m likely going to regret posting this after an actual rewatch of season ten, but-

Chloe was a wonderful foil to Timmy. They should have shared fairies. They’re perfect for each other friendship-wise.

Timmy’s conflicts are mainly external - neglectful parents, abusive babysitter, sucky school life - and despite his rowdiness and forgetful nature, he’s genuinely a very sweet boy who just gets caught up in whatever rash wish he’s made. Sure, he only has two friends (excluding his godparents), but that’s because he’s unpopular.

Chloe…has the exact opposite problem. All of her problems are purely internal. She does good everywhere she goes and strives to help everyone, which makes her a good person by nature, but it’s because of that giving nature why she has no real friends. She’s elevated immediately upon going somewhere to a celebrity status - it happened in Dimmsdale, and though she didn’t seem particularly upset about it, she still hasn’t stopped getting praise for her actions even months after moving there. Her life is the antithesis of Timmy’s to a T - wonderful, caring (if not overprotective) parents, a lot of people around her all the time, and a genuine love for everything that would theoretically make her the ‘perfect godchild’.

But, she has no real friends. No one she can count on for a cry or to lean back on if she needs help. Because she’s Chloe Carmichael, perfect girl, she shouldn’t have problems when everything in her life is great. Unlike Timmy, who is seen again and again clearly needing assistance, mainly assumed by characters and not explicitly said aloud by him. Chloe doesn’t have that specific ‘normal child’ status he has (no I am not projecting my survivor’s guilt onto a fictional character be quiet) because her life looks so good from the outside.

Despite what many reviewers, angry YouTubers in 2017, and a look at the first episode may tell you, Chloe does have flaws. Sure, she does actually like doing all this good stuff, but she’s…well, not far from, but you get it. She’s not totally perfect. She’s very protective about things she values (her DVD box set (which I totally get because those things are pricey, especially in this economy)) and tends to blow up if there’s any chance they’re threatened (yelling at Timmy to never lay a hand on said box set). She can be selfish (that episode where she had to share Timmy’s birthday and tried to one-up him) and a bit of a control freak (ideas likely coming from her parents’ want for perfection). She’s overly ambitious and her desire to find good in everyone blinds her to their bad parts (Foop may be a baby, but he’s not exactly as innocent as Chloe thinks). She can be easily-impressionable, as shown when she took to a brief life of crime in one episode. And, as Timmy puts it, she’s a little nuts.

Back to Chloe having no friends because she can’t be vulnerable with people who see her as a celebrity. She has a lot of traits that people might not like (see above) and can put them off on being an actual friend. Timmy has never seen Chloe as this popular untouchable mini-goddess - he hated her from the moment he saw her. Him having to share his fairies and subsequently be around her more often allows her to show those ‘worse’ (read: naturally human) traits off, and he won’t mind because those aren’t new to him, or weird. Timmy becomes, because of this, her first actual friend.

So while Timmy is rambunctious, mischievous, and has trouble paying attention but is still a sweet child in the moments where we see it, Chloe is a kind, generous, potentially self-sacrificing, overflowing-with-love girl who can get obsessed at times and lets her kindness be her downfall (sometimes). In the end, they’re both kids who have flaws.

Chloe and Timmy prove that misery is in the eye of the beholder. What’s miserable to Chloe may just be a normal day for Timmy, and we don’t know what fairy council grounds are for distributing godparents.

Additionally, Nick ruined Chloe as a character by breaking the show, don’t tell rule (telling us why she needed fairies instead of showing it through body language or actions) and sweeping her other bad traits under the rug. I despise the bright colors and neat lines of the new Flash animation they used, I hate it immensely, and Timmy’s character was botched within the first two seconds he was onscreen, but those are all their own posts.

[crying-fantasies]

Declaration of a robo-fucker

I think everyone has noticed to this point in my work that, as it is obvious, the many pieces of different transformers media are blended together.

Because every piece of media is valuable, be it north american, asian or whatever that comes, it feeds the little girl that once found something incredible in her uncle's pirated DVD collection when she was 5 years old, the very same little girl that learned English while watching with subtitles in bad quality how Optimus Prime declared that every life matters.

The very same girl that said how much she loved Optimus Prime in school and was bullied for it, with classmates harassing back an forth saying that she wasn't normal for liking a robot, her own teacher telling her parents that the original series for kids wasn't adequate for her age and it was giving strange ideas with inadequate romance.

A kid that was banned from her favorite series, had her poor and innocent uncle be reprimanded for showing a disrespectful cartoon that was giving strange ideas to his way too impressionable niece, an incredible uncle that only wanted to let her know of an alien species that fought for what was right and saw something special in earth and it's people.

A kid that was banned by herself to even think about it again, and if she did, she would do it with shame, one that tried to think about other things while at it because she could still hear the jokes about her and how she would be mother of a microwave.

A little girl that tried to forget but once again found a figment of her interest in the live action movies that, while not the pinnacle for majority, was enough to be accepted in some way, that got every penny in her possession to buy a ticket for herself and still be denied to use it because her parents said it wasn't normal she liked it so much, taking her to the psychiatrist instead of the movie theater while her mother asked God why her daughter couldn't be normal.

She was normal, I'm normal, Just because I like different things doesn't mean I'm that different, maybe not everyone writes about romance between alien robots and humans and that's okay.

So it's okay if I use fragments of the live action movies, be it from the Bumblebee ones or the Bayverse ones, because those were what I could get, especially the BV since my uncle was a fan too and he kept on giving me pirated DVDs under the table during family reunions where we should be normal in their own standards; I remember how the soldiers of NEST risked their lifes, their careers and their future as a whole to bring back Optimus Prime and protect the autobots from other humans, I saw Cade Jaeger risk everything to help the autobots while others said he was a traitor and wasn't normal, I saw Jetfire leave the decepticons for something better, give his life to save a planet in the middle of nowhere just because it was the right thing for him, and in his own words traduced to Spanish: ¿quién quiere vivir una vida llena de odio? (Isn't that what legends are made from?)

No one here is, but we also are, we just don't cut in their correct way of seeing things.

And, yeah, I like some things of the Bayverse, so what? The whole thing isn't perfect, hell, there is no media that's perfect so far because the 100 percent of our community can't agree in the same one, everyone has their own tastes, so don't go shaming me for liking these movies, and I'll keep on using some references in my works with them, you can ignore it or you can just stay away from my Tumblr, is as simple as that, there is no necessity to put the anonymous button to tell how lame my taste is or how ridiculous I'm for bringing up things in the movie or even dare to tell me my work sucks for those little things or to put it down from internet, because internet is eternal, nothing in there can be deleted forever, and it doesn't matter how many times you tell me that you like my content but hate those parts and even have the gall to insult me for it or tell me you'll steal my account to make it right to your tastes, my work will be safes somewhere of that im sure, and why do you want this account?! It isn't even more than a girl trying to create something she likes while other people also like it!

I love the live action movies because those reconnected me with something dear for me, I love the animated ones and I love the comics! All break my heart when someone dies, of course! Who didn't cry at least once when a loved character is gone?! But this is my fiction, this is my alternative universe, and I just want them to be happy and if I can then so be it.

So yeah, I've posted more than ever to spite you, because grow up or whatever, people won't do what you demand them for just because you want it, and yeah Cade and NEST and Lennox and Epps and many other characters of the movies exist in my AU! One way or another because I liked their characters and how they stay with the transformers because I would do the same if I could, help them as I could.

But everything is fiction and even now I'm facing and struggling to help people in a war that doesn't have feet or head and that's miles away from me, and it makes you ask how I can't do better or what the hell I'm supposed to do, which is stronger nowadays since I saw someone post a beautiful drawing of Optimus Prime (you know who you are and let me tell you again, your work made me cry in my path to work because yeah my life suck to it's down degree but there's people out there that are really suffering and need more help) declaring the freedom of every sentient being, and everyone should have freedom to do what they want for as long as it doesn't damage someone else, I just realize that there are better things to do and focus your energy on than harass me when you don't even know who I am.

Everyone has the right to post what they want as long as it doesn't hurt someone else, I don't want to hurt you, whoever you are, I just want you to realize how wrong it is to pester someone in what they are interested just because it isn't your taste, I'm sure you like something similar and that's great, but you can't force me to be like you, and I'm not forcing you to be like me, you can go to other places to search what you like and that's fine.

This is a safe place, I want it to remain like that by deleting every message of yours and be done with it.

[wormsin]

new shapes AND dvd bonus for twice gold, wolf heart!!

✰ NEW SHAPES: send me a fic and I’ll give you an alternate direction the fic could have gone!

this is easy! the first draft of the fic was pretty different. Russia gave Sid a wolf as a gift for winning gold in Sochi, which he was not prepared for and basically could not refuse. a handler brought Geno over from Russia and they met in Sid's foyer. Sid was like "I'll try my best but this is really inconvenient for my routine" and left Geno alone at home a lot. Geno gets under-stimulated, depressed. then there's a whumpy plot that I won't spill because I might use it later :)))

this version was kind of dragging its feet and I also realized that Sid would be SO into wolves, he would know everything he could about him, he would be PREPARED (as much as he could be). the arc ended up being pretty similar. they learn to trust each other in a tough situation :)

✄ DVD BONUS: pick a fic and I’ll describe or write a deleted scene!

bonus scene I had to cut:

Last year during bye week, Sid took a trip on his own to Yellowstone to see the wolves. He saw plenty of other incredible animals too—a bear, moose and bison—but the wolves had a special appeal for him. There was one feral werewolf pack in the Nova Scotia area and Sid grew up hearing stories about them. Even though he knew now that the stories were mostly local folklore, they were still part of his childhood and home, as much as the sounds of boats in the harbor.

In Yellowstone he met with one of the wolf naturalists, a soft spoken old man with the most pronounced jowls of anyone he'd ever met. Sid learned all about the wolf reintroduction program, and every morning Richard would bring him to a new spot to watch the wolves as they wandered around the park. Fewer tourists came to this side, so it was often just the two of them on a road or trail, traveling through the snowy quiet.

Each wolf was known by a number, and Richard had stories to tell about each of them—their personalities, histories, and the drama that unfolded within and without the pack. They never got close, of course, but Sid saw plenty through his binoculars. 

Most of the wolves were just that, but there was one werewolf pack, and Sid caught a glimpse of an older female in human form, pelt over her shoulders and spear in her hand.

Wolves and werewolves alike were majestic creatures, and it was so wonderful to listen to an expert talk about them. He honestly felt changed after that trip, and more appreciative of the natural world. It was the perfect vacation.

"Wow, buddy," Sid says. "Really?"

When he gets back home from the game, he find Geno sprawled in wolf form on the couch with his muzzle practically inside a bag of corn puff chips. Most of the chips made it inside his belly but there are plenty of crumbs on the couch and carpet. 

Geno wakes up with a start, lets out a big sneeze, and then stares at Sid with huge gold eyes. He doesn't look guilty, more betrayed, though Sid isn't sure how well he can read wolf expressions. "You made a mess," Sid says sternly, pointing at the bag. "And it's not good to eat all of those at once, that's a sometimes snack."

He isn't sure if Geno understands any of it, but Sid points to the bag, frowning, and then very pointedly cleans up the mess with the hand vacuum. Geno watches, head ducked.

"We're you hungry? I thought I left you enough food." He goes to the kitchen to check and—yup, Geno's bowl still has food in it, and the premade, high protein wolf lunch is untouched in the fridge. 

Sid sighs. "I don't want you just eating junk food, Geno."

Geno bumps his head against Sid's hip, which might be an apology. Maybe. Sid rubs his ears and Geno wags his tail, nuzzling Sid more. "You're going to get all pudgy, huh?"

[a-sketchy-a-day]

I have an idea for your Apex Calamity AU. Were when the Planters and Anne arrive on earth. Anne is still a heron but she is now the size of a real life one. The Planters even get shrunken down to real life frogs. So now its up the Anne’s parents to help out, their daughter who is now a heron, but also help out her frog family.

Head canons

-The Planters are really scared because they are seeing giants that are dwarfing Anne. Because my head canon is that Anne never told the Planters she was a human or even what a human is.

-So Anne grabs the Planters and flies to her house. When they get there, Anne reveals that she was a human. Although it was a bit hard due to not having the ability to talk. So she had to point at the pictures of her human appearance.

-When Mr and Ms Boonchuy saw a heron in their backyard. They were gonna just shrug it off and go back to what they were doing. Except the heron was acting strange and its behavior felt too familiar.

-When the two even went outside, the heron didn’t fly away or even moved at all.

-Before they could even say anything. Three frogs hopped in front of them. Although these frogs were no ordinary trio of frogs. They stood on two legs, wore clothes, and even have hair. Except the most shocking and most predictable thing they did… was that they talked.

-The orange frog who called himself Hoppidia Planter said this.

Hop Pop, with a calm and blunt voice: Hi I’m Hoppidia Planter and these are my grandchilderen Sprig and Polly Planter. We a from an alternate universe were we live in a medieval or sci-fi society, I think, I’m not really sure now. Also this is your daughter she is a heron now.

Sprig with a calm, blunt, and oblivious : We’ve had two seasons worth of character development and trauma. Were like a family, except one of those family members are a dangerous species of predator to us.

Polly with a blunt voice, while looking at the 4th wall: She can go super saiyan.

-Anne is now in a worried look, regretting this.

-But due to seeing and hearing... THAT. Their eyes were widen and bulging out to a point where it looked like they’ll will fall out. Their jaws were hanging down the breaking point of logic. Even though no scream came out… their souls did.

-Then they turned around to go inside, when they reached the door they turned around but with different faces. Faces of the purest of joy and innocent's. With their eyes now closed but in a calm and delightful manner. Their smiles were in so perfect that it was better than even the gods themselves, and teeth so clean that a vampire could see their own reflection on it.

-Anne’s parents responded with only these worlds.

Ms Boonchuy in a calmingly disguised voice: Anne sweetie please wait here we’ll be right back.

Mr Boonchuy in a calmingly disguised voice: You too Planters.

-When Anne’s parents went inside. It goes back to Anne and the Planters. With Anne having a beyond worried expression and widen eyes. Although the Planters each have oblivious and calm smiles as is nothing bad happened.

Hop Pop with a calm and normal voice: That went extremely well.

Sprig with a calm and normal voice: yeah they were so calm, nice, and have unique facial expressions.

Polly with a calm and normal voice: Yeah I thought they would blow up or something.

-Anne is hiding her head in her wings.

-Meanwhile inside the house Anne’s mom ran to the kitchen quietly, and started rummaging through the all the food for expiration dates HOPING she found something that cause talking fairy frogs to appear saying that their daughter got turned into a bird.

-Meanwhile Anne’s father was literally screaming at a DVD copy of The Boy and the Heron, because they watched that movie last night.

Anne’s Father: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME.

-After sadly finding out that this is not dream or even an allusion. Anne’s parents calmed down and accepted this.

-Things go way differently in this scenario than in canon.

One: Due to the Planters being the size of actual frogs. Anne’s parents got a tank for them to live. Because Domino will try to eat them and it helps them blend in.

Two: Anne and Domino are sadly not on good terms. Because Domino doesn’t recognize her. It broke Anne’s heart.

Three: Agent X (sorry if I butchered the name) is an animal protectionist instead. Because Anne is an endangered or rare species of heron. Also I’m pretty sure it's illegal to own a heron. Even the Planters aren't safe because even though they pretend to be ones. X only wants them because they’re actually endangered species of frogs that exist.

Three: I like this idea that in this AU, that Amphibia is way smaller. Because all the animals are in their accurate size of their real life counterparts, like the amphibians. The Frobots are basically action figures to humans. So the Core and Andrias have to double their Frobots size.

You don’t have to use these idea and sorry if the writing is bad. I really like this AU, so I hope you like some of these ideas. I’m fine if you use these and I will respect that. Work hard and take your time.👍

Love the enthousiasm! But I regret to say I already have a rough idea for how I want the story to play out. And the girls get turned back into humans (everyone is canon sized) the moment they recharge their gems.

Still, it could be a fun thought to share and play with. Love me some frog-sized Plantars AUs.