#still starcrossed

[oatmealdoodles]

some OC babies

[i-will-always-love-the-jedi]

I’m like 5 years too late for the starlight beacon dance, so this is them having a dance in Avars office before she leaves to hunt Lourna or something, idk. Wanted to draw them slowdancing lol, I just couldn’t help it 😔

…

[t4tozier]

fun little fact about this part of my own fic that i’ve been dying to share:

“Jace,” Porter croaks, holding out a hand. “Listen, love, it’s not—”

Love. Love. Love. Jace feels himself breaking from the inside out, and when he explodes, it’s in a Sunburst. Porter throws a hand up to shield his eyes from the blinding light. Jace keeps his eyes open, despite the tears. It doesn’t hurt. He’s had enough hurt for lifetimes. A petty spell won’t get in his way.

It won’t get in Porter’s way, either, apparently; his eyes are bright and clear as he reaches for Jace. Damn goliath constitution.

the Sunburst is the only spell in this scene that porter actively tries to resist. the others with saves he elects to fail, but this one he makes the effort to resist because one of the additional effects of the spell is blindness and he wants to be able to see jace to the end.

[dracomeir]

I love soft mod so much. The voice acting was great, and I love how protective Pico was for Benjamin in week 6. The cherry blossom effect for that week was cool too. All the new art/songs for every week was amazing, and I love the new monster design. I like the epilogue too. Just going to head canon that tank dad is the one mentioned.

[junkmailmusubi]

the way my relationship with pyromania has completely flipped in the span of a few days is really funny to me. like, when i first unlocked it, i barely knew what i was looking at and ended up having to turn on autoplay because there was no way in hell i was getting through that. about a week later, however, when i start grinding for it, i'm suddenly a god at it and it's become my favorite chart to date.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

obsessed with their different reactions to being called starcrossed lovers

[curseofdelos]

what’s ur newest fic abt??

I'm still figuring out the best way to summarise/describe this fic to people because this one is A Journey, so can I interest you in a sneak peek instead? I've been calling it my solangelo starcrossed lovers AU, but the actual starcrossed lovers part isn't relevant until halfway through the fic lmao whoops Obligatory disclaimer that this is a work in progress and is subject to change in the final version <3

Going to the underworld was a bad idea. 

Will knew it was a bad idea, but he found himself in Central Park with a ukulele strapped to his back anyway. 

What other choice did he have? His sister was dead, and his healing could do nothing for someone whose thread the Fates had cut. It was bad enough that Lee and Michael had died during the Titan War; he couldn’t accept losing Gracie too. 

If bargaining with Hades himself was what it took to get her back, then so be it. He was not losing another sibling. 

Will spent the better part of an hour searching Central Park for the entrance before he eventually stumbled upon a pile of boulders just north of the pond. They didn’t look like much even to his demigod eyes, but a dark sense of foreboding emanated from them and he knew this was what he was looking for. 

The Doors of Orpheus. 

The closest entrance into the underworld, and the inspiration behind his plan to save his sister. 

Finding this made what he was about to do feel more real, but he had come too far to turn back now. This entire plan hinged on his ability to keep moving forward and to never look back. 

Will removed the ukulele from his back, and began softly strumming one of his mother’s songs. They always brought him comfort, and he needed that comfort now more than ever. His voice was unsteady due to his nerves, but he poured his grief into the performance, hitting each note with passion and fervour until he was interrupted by a loud groan. 

The ground shook as the boulders shifted, and slowly a triangular crevice revealed itself. The gap was just wide enough for a person to squeeze through, and he was hit with the smell of mildew, decay, and dust. When Will peeked inside, he couldn’t see a thing. 

It was dark and creepy, but down those long winding steps was the god who could return his sister to him, and so he took a deep breath, slung the ukulele across his back, and pushed into the gap. 

Will had barely made it down ten steps when the rocks began to groan again, and the doors shut behind him. 

He was officially past the point of no return. There was no changing his mind now. Whatever happened, happened. 

“Well, here goes nothing,” he muttered to himself. 

With the doors closed, there was no more sunlight to light the way, and Will was plunged into pitch black darkness. He had always been frustrated at how useless some of his powers could be, but he was grateful for one in particular at that moment. 

Will took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. His skin began to emit a gentle glow, and it lit enough of the passageway that he could see where he was stepping. With one hand on the cold damp wall, and the other gripping the strap of his ukulele, he made his way down the stairs. 

This was where he was going to lead Gracie on the way out, and where he assumed Orpheus tried to lead Eurydice. Now that he was making the journey himself, he could understand why Orpheus had been so paranoid. 

Even with his glow, it was impossibly dark down here, and sometimes he swore he could see something move in the shadows. The soundscape of New York City was silenced, and the tunnel was filled with nothing but his own breathing and heartbeat. At one point, he thought he heard footsteps further down and almost slipped down the stairs in his surprise, but he swallowed his fear and pressed on. 

Gracie needed him to be brave and focused. No matter what he saw or heard, he was going to do what Orpheus failed to do and lead her out of here without looking back. All he had to do was convince Hades to let him try (something he suspected was easier said than done). 

The staircase seemed to go on forever, but eventually, the darkness began to brighten. Will switched off his glow to conserve his energy once he was certain he could see without it, and soon he reached his destination at the bottom. 

The underworld. 

It was everything he thought it would be and worse. 

The staircase opened up onto a beach of black volcanic sand. The roar of the River Styx was loud in his ears as it cascaded down the rocks and winded its way through Erebos. Far above him hung a ceiling of stalactites, no sky or clouds in sight, and the lack of natural sunlight was making him feel oddly lethargic. The smell of sulphur was so strong it made his eyes water. 

Will surveyed his surroundings until he saw it: off in the distance, camped out along the horizon, was Hades’ palace. Its obsidian walls were tall and imposing, and dread settled into his stomach at the mere sight. 

He was going to march through those bronze gates and demand an audience with Hades, arguably the most intimidating god in the pantheon. 

Gods, he hoped Hades wasn’t in a smiting mood. 

Will took a deep breath to steel himself, and stepped forward, sneakers crunching on the sand as he walked. 

“Going somewhere?” 

Will was not proud of the string of expletives that left his lips at the sudden voice. He whipped around in shock, and only then noticed that someone was leaning back against the cliff wall next to the stairs. 

His first thought was that this was a god, but he was fairly certain Hades was not in the habit of appearing like a sixteen year old boy in a My Chemical Romance t-shirt, and he had no other ideas on which god this could be.

His second thought was that this was a demigod, but that didn’t make any sense either. Nobody went to the underworld unless they had no other choice. Not to mention, as head medic, it was Will’s responsibility to know everyone at Camp Half-Blood and he liked to think he would have remembered a face like that. 

The boy looked to be about his age, give or take, with messy black hair that tumbled down to his shoulders. His face was angular with a hooked nose, a sharp jaw, and sharper cheekbones, and his mesmerising eyes were so dark they looked almost black. It would not be difficult to get lost in eyes like those. 

What really caught Will’s eye, however, was the third degree burn scars on his right arm. Patches of harsh red and scorched black skin dotted his arm all the way from the back of his hand up to his elbow. He knew just from looking at him that the injury had to be years old and long past the point his healing would have any real effect, but still, the healer in him wanted to take a closer look to see just how deep that burn went.

The scarring proved this couldn’t be a god - no god would choose to appear with anything less than perfect skin - so this had to be a demigod. 

But what was a demigod doing down here? 

Regardless, Will knew better than to snark at someone who may or may not be a god, so he stood up straight, held his head high, and defaulted to deference. “I’m here for an audience with Lord Hades.” 

The boy raised an eyebrow and looked him over, his gaze fixing on Will’s ukulele. “If your plan is to sing a song so pretty it convinces him to let you bring a loved one back to life, you might as well give up now because it’s not going to work.” 

The immediate dismissal hit him like a punch to the gut. “You don’t know that,” Will shot back defensively. 

“I think I do, actually.”

“Why?”

“Well, for a start, it didn’t work out for Orpheus, so I don’t know why you would think it would work for you. Secondly… he hates the ukulele.”

Will’s face burned in embarrassment, and he gripped the strap self-consciously. “But… it’s my Dad’s.”

“And who’s your Dad?”

“Apollo?” 

The boy snorted. “Even worse. He hates Apollo. You don’t stand a chance.” 

When Will went spelunking through the Big House attic in search of an instrument (one he could smuggle out of camp without his siblings noticing it was missing anyway) and he happened upon a ukulele that his father had blessed, he had taken it as divine endorsement of his plan. Apollo himself approved of Will’s mission to rescue his daughter, and directed him to one of the few instruments Will knew how to play. In a world dictated by prophecies and fate, there was no such thing as coincidence. 

Now that a random teenager who spoke like he knew Hades personally was telling him that he was doomed to fail, his confidence was shaken. He already knew this was a longshot. He already knew that this was going to be one of the most difficult things he had to do. What did it say about his chances that a kid from Hades’ court thought it was impossible? 

…But giving up meant dooming Gracie to an untimely death, and he just couldn’t do that. 

“I guess we’ll find out,” Will said stubbornly. “Now if you’ll excuse me….” He spun on his heel, and continued on his way towards Hades’ palace. 

Will half-expected the boy to follow him, but he heard no footsteps behind him, and breathed a sigh of relief. 

He thought he had escaped him and his judgement until the boy popped out from behind a fallen stalactite and fell into step beside him. 

Wait. How did he get in front of him? 

Will looked back over his shoulder at the cliff face - a distance too far to walk that quickly - and back at the boy who merely raised a brow at him as if Will was the weird one for being so confused. 

Did he teleport?

“You know, you’re not the first person since Orpheus to try this stunt,” the boy said as if whatever just happened didn’t happen, “and every single person before you failed. They weren’t even allowed to try. What makes you so special that you think he’s going to let you?” 

That’s the problem: Will didn’t think he was special, and there was nothing about his situation that felt particularly unique or worthy of Hades’ consideration either. He was here because he loved his sister, and he had to try something to bring her back, no matter how impossible it seemed. 

This guy and his pessimism, however, was beginning to piss him off and he had no desire to explain himself to him. Instead, he rounded on him and blurted out, “I’m sorry, who are you?” 

“Nico,” he said, as if that explained anything, “and you are?” 

Will straightened. “Will Solace. Head medic at Camp Half-Blood.” He watched Nico’s face for any sign that he knew what that was, but his expression remained carefully neutral. “And I’m going to ask Lord Hades to release one of his souls into my care whether you think that’s a good idea or not.” 

“I don’t, for the record.”

“Yeah, you made that clear.” Will rolled his eyes and continued walking. 

Nico casually strolled beside him. “As head medic, you should know better than anyone that the dead should stay dead. Lord Hades doesn’t appreciate people who try to argue otherwise. If you don’t want to end up dead with them, I suggest you head back now.” 

“Thanks for the warning, but I’m well aware of the risks. I know what I’m doing.” 

Will could feel Nico’s eyes watching him, but he kept his gaze fixed on the palace. “...If you don’t leave, I’ll be forced to make you.”

“Oh yeah?” Will scoffed. “And how are you going to do that?” 

Without warning, Nico grabbed the front of Will’s shirt and shoved him. 

The move was so unexpected that Will stumbled backwards with a yelp. There was another fallen stalactite behind him, and his back should have hit it. Instead, all the light around them was snuffed out and they were plunged into freezing cold. 

Thousands of whispering voices screamed in his ear. The wind whirred past him so fast it pushed at his face like he had gone down the drop on a rollercoaster. The world around them was completely black, and he could see nothing but Nico’s serene face in front of him, feel nothing but his bony fingers gripping tightly onto the fabric of his shirt. 

It only lasted a moment, and Will soon fell flat onto his back with an audible “OOF!”

Disoriented, he blinked up at the cloudy sky. Green grass tickled at his bare forearms. 

Will sat up on his elbows and realised he was back outside in Central Park. Nico stood in the Doors of Orpheus, looking down at him with faint amusement. “If you value your life at all, you won’t come back.” 

Nico thumped the inner wall of the passageway, and the rocks rolled back into place, shutting Will out and his hopes of rescuing Gracie with him. 

[neon-danger]

I promise I’m not dead or on hiatus, December is just crash out month and I’m only now recovering from it

[salemruinseverything]

wheres that one cartoon pic of like the horrible slobbery making out that people love to draw other characters over. thats soulsucker and starfucker

[helluvapurf]

Shipping bingo: stolas x blitz (stolitz)

*dodges fandom tomatoes*

Probably the biggest ship in general when it comes to the main show/fandom atm, and given their concept as two broken, messed up souls from different social classes steadily catching feelings as they use the other for their own gain, its def got some interesting potential going for it when put in good writing hands (*which I was kiiiiinda hoping would be the case following what happened in "Ozzie's"... buuut then S2 happened and now idk? glkjk .w.;*)

For the most part, I'd generally say my view of the Sto/litz ship is just kinda... "neutral" atm? In a way where its like I can "take it or leave it" depending on how/where its written-

[llycaons]

shipping lxc w the guy who used him to murder his best friend is dubious enough but shipping him w the guy who hates his guts once he really gets to know him and them is murdered BY him is kind of hilariously obtuse

[blackwaxidol]

Showered. Bedsheets changed. Food pending.

[nightingale-prompts]

Babysitting Batboy

First | Previous | Next

"Why cant i go out?" Danny whined rolling on the couch.

"Sorry, Dicky said you were sneaking out. If you weren't caught at Batburger with Red Robin this wouldn't have happened." Barbara laughed from the kitchen.

"What is his problem anyways? Why would it matter if I spent time with Red?"

"You'll understand one day."

"Also why does Bruce Wayne keep sending these boxes to our house?"

"Just leave them until Dick sends them back."

"Is this a drug thing? Does Bruce Wayne sell drugs?" Danny gasped "Is my new grandfather the head of a drug cartel? Is that why Dick doesn't want to visit anymore?"

"You wish. Then he'd actually be interesting." Barbara laughed.

Barbara is currently the only one to know both of Danny's identities but Danny was still in the dark about everyone else's besides Dick. (DC/DP face blindness is a serious condition)

Danny was reading his zoology textbook and attempting some new transformations. Maybe a cat would be easy to tackle next.

"Danny, I need to get some curry powder. I'll be right back." Barbara said coming back to the living room to grab her purse. "No running off. I swear I will snitch if I come back and your not here."

"K, Jazz." Danny said studying the bine structure of a cat's tail.

"...Okay, Danny." Barbara left and sent a quick text to Dick.

Barbara sighed. They both had been looking for Danny's family. No data had been found.

When Barbara returned with the curry powder for the curry and fish she was making he was horrified by what she found. Danny had disappeared and the fish she was prepping was ripped to shreds and spread across the kitchen floor.

Barbara frantically searched the area for the teen. Perhaps she underestimated Danny's drive to see Red Robin, like some kind of starcrossed lovers.

But Danny hadn't left the house. Barbara found him in the pantry eating the remnants of the fish like a feral animal.

His green eyes stared into Barbara.

Barbara closed the door.

[scarlettmurphy]

STARCROSSED PT2 +ੈ✩‧₊˚ LOGAN HOWLETT.

logan and y/n — where you are completely in love with a man older then you’re father by a good century or so.. whose completely in love with another.

- content warning age gap (is legal) drinking. explicit. swearing. dirty humour. comfort (an ounce). drugs. nsfw. sick. body issues. sh. angst.. maybe happy endings?! pairings: older!logan howlett x xaiver!reader. logan howlett x jean grey.

spoiler: insane yearning and angst i’m sorry im too far gone ☹️ happy ? where.

note this is part two to starcrossed, prepare for even heavier angst!🫶🏻 i didn’t realise how sad this was until i finished the chapter and realised holy shit this is long. part three is already in the works. i hope u enjoy it! make sure to read pt1. it’s a bit diff from the first one but i hope u like it still. also if you’ve seen the movie ten things i hate about u the mid bit of this might remind u of that one scene if u get me :) song: need you now by lady a cos i was listening to it and jeff buckley whilst reading this? also on the timeline im going for like xmen 2 time i think?

tags — @faceache111 @malfoys-demigod @navs-bhat @dilfismz @thisbipuff-isaswiftie @twinky-wink @thewiselionessss @thecraziestcrayon @awhoreforalotofshows @emily-b @jae48 @cxptainbuck @444st4rg1rl 🫶🏻

[i hope you like it!!]

you’d absolutely love to believe that what you heard last night wasn’t what happened but as your mind goes over the previous night as you fought yourself to stay awake during your fathers little class your brain couldn’t forget the continuous moans and little yells that you heard from a few rooms across from your own at the mansion for a good hour or two last night. you can’t help but figure out that logan most certainly found jean and just thinking about it made you feel sick. scott being the main thing on your brain after you got over the fact logan most definitely fucked jean last night.

she was a cheater. what else could you expect? your thoughts swirling in your brain causing an indescribable amount of heart ache as you kept yourself completely quiet and withdrawn from whatever was going on in this lesson, rogue clearly being able to tell you were off as she glanced at bobby giving him a look you picked up on — him shrugging his shoulders in return as you cursed your sadness for being so obvious.

just the thought of jean and logan staring at eachother hurt you but her touching him, his hands over her skin, her lips on his, his mind only on her in that moment and his gaze locked into hers as she let him take her yet again enraged you to another level it was a struggle not to jump into his mind and find out exactly what happened but you couldn’t, you wouldn’t. your brain fighting with your heart in every way as you felt sick with all those pictures of the scenario you were forming for yourself.

so from that knowledge as you sat in class you knew you needed to stop liking him for good. he didn’t like you, he was throwing it in your face. you heard it all and it hurt you too much to bare. you didn’t even wanna look at him — that single thought of contact sending you crazy. you couldn’t even bring yourself to see him today. you didn’t want too, you couldn’t. seeing jean as you passed through the kitchen earlier was enough to make you nearly cry and immediately stop that tiny breakfast you had made.

you really couldn’t deal with this. one bit. you never did well with emotional pain — physical was something you could endure, yet emotional was always something you couldn’t stomach ever since you were a little girl.

+ੈ✩‧₊˚

you'd been avoiding him like the plague. literally. whenever you saw him at the end of the halls you'd turn the other away, force a little smile and act like you had somewhere to go if you were in conversation and it had been like that for two weeks. two weeks had passed since one of your normal conversations, the friendly chats you admired in your brain and made out to be more, the little touches he'd give you that you couldn't comprehend was only a friend thing to do, the way he'd hug you.. the deep conversations, the way he'd sometimes kiss your forehead before you left for bed, watching the rain together and just joking together all something you had put in the past. that had been gone for two weeks and to say it was breaking you would be an understatement.

you could tell others has noticed the practical borderline dissociation within you since you had been a little mute recently not that it was specially due to logan (it completely all was) but you didn't want it to be obvious, you hated that it could be perceived that way so you knew you had to do something about it. who knew heartache for one that didn't love you back could destroy you this badly from the inside out?

.. and today was no different on the logan front. you saw him once today in the halls ushering something to hank — the two in bustling conversation and you made sure not to risk it by going to class, to upset over it all to deal with another short horrible conversation where you were nothing but cold to him as you tried to cut down any romantic feelings you had for him. every time you spoke now you could see the confusion and frustration in his eyes, the mental image to much to bare as you went on hiding in your room and pondering and that’s where you had been since — buried in clothing choices as you tried to stomach down the anxiety that had been growing in you over the fact it was jeans birthday party today and you would have to make an appearance after you had been a hermit since you’d got your heart broken by a guy that didn’t even know. rogue and bobby being the only two people you had really spoke too since the shut down yet their concern had been growing annoying as rogue clearly told bobby about the little crush she could’ve guessed, and got out of you when the two of you were high together a few months ago, you had on logan. bobby actually giving you little options of guys you could date to get over someone which was all you needed to hear when you realised rogue had told him as he literally mentioned hank who they knew you recently hiked with since he had been bothering you over your melancholy, yet you had left before it was a full fledge little argument.

just the thought of having to socialise with him and the others and step out of the hole you’d built for yourself to hide in irritated you especially for jean of all people’s party, your ‘smidge’ of hatred for the woman who had really been rude to you since she’d known you not because of logan, because god on that front she wins and it feels like she’s married to him despite her ties to scott, but on the power front. she knew you had powers incomparable to hers that you hardly even showcased magneto being someone who taught you many things when you were younger, your own parents being raven and charles. of course you had powers which were indescribable.

and most of the time you wanted to use it on that bitch. you were lucky she couldn’t get into your twisted mind to find that fact out.

you let out a little sigh as you decided on the black mini skirt and sweater — you finally having an excuse for the fall outfit and lack of dress because it was october which has always been your favourite season and best time of year yet this year that didn’t apply because you haven’t been hardly able to enjoy it because of isolation you’d forced yourself into.

y/n had to swallow her own self pity down as she leaned over to her perfume bottle on the drawer next to her mirror as she took in the image of her body in the skirt. her shrinking body, a scoff leaving her lips as she wasn’t happy with what she saw in the reflection. she never could be. the aroma of the perfume not masking her feelings at all as she put on some dc martens paired with black tights. the perfect little outfit yet she was sure jean would be outshining her on that front. god she didn’t even wanna imagine logan’s eyes being locked onto jean tonight, the heart ache already unbearable to comprehend as she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. that aching feeling hadn’t gone away since the start of knowing logan the way she did, maybe that was a sign from the people above about how destined it was.. or how not it was.

these muddled thoughts led her too some early drinking as if she wouldn’t be getting shitfaced later. pregaming alone which is a bit self pity full as she swallowed the burning liquor down her throat, the whiskey hitting her softly and slowly enough to give her the confidence to leave her room twenty minutes later for this party.

+ੈ✩‧₊˚

the decorations were perfect, the present corner was overflowing and the students and people were everywhere. jean being clearly the popular girl from the looks of this party, as if y/n already didn’t know that, as the blasting music just made her more aware of the scenario she was in as she fought the urge to look around the room for logan as she went straight over to the bar that had been made. the party was the perfect one a girl, woman, could ask for and y/n could feel the jealously bubbling already that she bit down as she forced a friendly smile to join her lips.

walking through the dancing groups of people, there hardly even being any spaces to walk unless you wanted to bump into a coked up or insanely drunk teenager or wade. who she was lucky to get past without having to talk to yet, no matter how much she did like and enjoy his company she couldn’t deal with his jokes right now which she could guess who’d they’d be centered around, she knew he knew to some extent she was just lucky he hadn’t out rightly said it. that would be too much pity for her to deal with, that coming from wade being another level of pathetic.

the second she leant against the bar she managed to grab the busy barmaids attention giving her a soft nod and polite smile as she didn’t notice the figure beside her as she asked for a coke and vodka.

“thank god you’re showing your face — i thought i was going to have to clone you to get a good conversation.” hank rolled out his tipsiness showing as he pulled y/n into a tight hug when he was sat down on the stool. y/n letting out a low chuckle as she hugged him back nicely, his presence being a little surprise she tried not to seem so bothered about.

“hiya hank.” y/n said softly as the barmaid came over with her drink, placing it next to her. “thanks.” y/n nodded out as hank placed his hand on the stool next to him as she immediately grabbed it and took a swig.

“come! sit.” he ushered in with a drunken smile on his face, a bright one as usual, as he patted the bar stool next to him inviting her to sit and before y/n could even speak up in reply as she slid down on the stool hank bit in.

“where the hell have you been?” he abruptly said bluntly, putting a little look on his face off one that’s pissed off as y/n felt the guilt rush through her as she wrapped her fingers around the glass drowning her truth in the drink as she took a big sip off the liquor acting as if that didn’t taste appalling as she shrugged her shoulders at hanks obvious question which has an obvious answer to that she’d play off as a stupid claim if questioned about it.

“—i’ve been busy! controlling powers— small missions, and that.” y/n lied out.

hank furrowed his eyebrows at his words, giving her a knowing look before he shook his head swiftly at what she said. seeing right through her little lie he truly knew nothing much about what the truth was or not as he took a little sip of his beer.

“i know you but i’m not pushing it— rather you bite of logan’s heads rather then mine.” hank said out lowly as y/n’s eyebrows furrowed at his comment as a look of confusion spread over her face at the mention of him but before she could question hank on it she was met with two hands around her waist, pulling her tightly back purposely.

“hello pretty little liars, you’re aria?” wade said loudly into her ear his drunkenness obvious as y/n scoffed, him clearly stating that because her outfit choice as he squeezed her even tighter y/n’s eyes rolling as she elbowed him playfully back as his hands on her faltered as he playfully shoved her back.

“—elsa! you made it snow yet?” y/n said back to him as she was met with the sound of his laughter as he pulled on the stool next to y/n, making the guy who was sat on it mutter a curse before wade sent him a glare and then went speed walking away clearly a boy as young as fourteen or thirteen who just got the shit scared out him for, wade’s harsh look as he sqt down on the stool as he met y/n’s gaze.

“you know i have honey.” he nodded out with a smirk as hank leaned into the twos space.

“shots anyone?” hank rolled out, fixing his glasses as wade enthusiastically said a quick yes, y/n adding to the fire. “—very much needed.” y/n drove out as wade sent her a little look of knowing yet he held back the urge to call her out on it. he was being a ‘good’ friend in his eyes anyway, he didn’t wanna hear her say things about logan when he knew a few things himself on how the other party felt.

hank calling the barmaid over as wade pulled y/n’s stool closer to his that knowing look still present on his face as he played with the knowledge he had a bit just in a little playful way.

“you seen the birthday girl yet?..gave her a gift?” wade said sarcastically knowing the two didn’t really see eye to eye on a LOT of things as y/n gave him a little glare, him having been present for many of their little disagreements.

“luckily i haven’t, as i’ve brung nothing.” y/n rumbled back as wade nudged her playfully with her words as hank grabbed the tray of shots from the barmaid— y/n’s eyes widening once she saw how many shots he had ordered. “fifteen?” y/n broke out with a raised eyebrow as hank chuckled as he took one, downing it straight away before grabbing another as wade spoke up cockily.

“who’s pants are you trying to get into?” wade rolled out, his voice sly as he grabbed two for himself as y/n leaned over and took one ready to get shitfaced, maybe that’d stop her mind from falling back onto logan every other second her longing heart internally hating this situation more and more as she yearned to see him but she bit back the urge to even look around for him. halting that urge by taking a shot.

“preferably anyone with a pulse and no dick between their legs.” hank said right as y/n took another shot, her nearly choking on the burning liquid which was a horrible mix of vodka and god knows what.

“i can tuck.” wade said lowly as this made it worse, y/n nudging wade, shaking her head as she held back her laugh as she swallowed the shot she just took. “disgusting!” she rolled out as she took another, downing it before placing the shot down on the table.

“ah! sweeties jealous.” wade spoke up sarcastically with that all familiar cocky smile on his face with that teasing glint in his eyes as he handed another shot y/n’s way as she took it gracefully as they all cheersed their glasses together. that being just one of the about eight times they did that within the next thirty to sixty minutes as y/n bit back her thoughts with copious amounts of shots and soon enough they had gone through a good four or so tray off shots and a few drinks each.

every passing minute y/n felt her mind get closer and closer to the edge as every time she felt that aching feeling grow she’d swallow it back with another sip of liquor or large shot — wades jokes passing the time and hanks yapping and her own occasional drunken chime in making her mind a mess as hank got another row of shots.

the songs and wade and hank’s voices becoming a blur in y/n’s mind as she swallowed nothing but the truth with those shots. every sip feeling like more heartache she couldn’t stop having.

+ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/n was practically stuck too the bar stool, her eyes scanning the crowd occasionally (by occasionally around five times if not more a minute) as she looked for him. her mind lingering on a certain someone as it always tended to do the liquor just amplifying those feelings as hank spoke up.

“you know— you look like your mum.”

his words caused y/n’s attention to snap over to hank as she raised an eyebrow, wade making a little ‘oo’ in the background even if he couldn’t help but agree with his comment as he sipped on the cocktail he had ordered a few drinks previously that had just been laying there on the side. the bartender making a fuck ton of profit from these three miserables.

“very dead?” y/n said sarcastically as hank gave her a little look — clearly a little annoyed she didn’t take the comment seriously as he leaned a little closer to her.

“beautiful you idiot.” hank added out, his words making her eyebrows furrow a bit as she took in his drunken words as she gave him a little a smile — swallowing the depreciating joke she was close to making as she took a sip of her drink.

“thank you hank.” y/n nodded out calmly as wade butted in.

“—fucking hell, incoming for angry jacob twilight wannabe.” wade cursed out as y/n’s gaze moved over wade following his eyes to where he was looking, her heart feeling as if it was flipping and twisting in her chest as she watched logan walk into the bar games room as she furrowed her eyebrows at the sight of jean following him angrily. her looking perfect as ever.

yet before y/n could think another thought she locked eyes with logan from across the room — their eyes meeting as she felt a weight lift immediately onto her as she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat at just the sight of him. it felt as if time has frozen just as they looked to each other , his eyes taking everything about her in as she did the same his way.

he practically immediately walked over, more like stomped over, as he seemed clearly agitated. more then usual as his eyes dawned onto wade and hank before resting back to y/n as he stopped in his tracks in front of the seated three.

“who thought getting a teenager shitfaced was a good idea?” logan nearly growled out, giving wade a glare as y/n’s eyes lingered back on jean who saw who he was talking to and turned away her being even more pissed then him, y/n holding the urge to go into her mind and find out why as she brung her gaze onto logan after seeing jean walk off somewhere else in the room, her patience clearly wearing thin. her wanting to make a little childish comment about how she wasn’t when wade spoke up.

“gods probably.” wade rolled out in reply as logan scoffed at what he said.

“y/n.” logan said, her eyes meeting his own as she took in his appearance. her eyes lingering on the chain that was wrapped around his neck — one he told her was something jean gave him when he first became an xmen, something he hasn’t worn in months, this fact only making her feel a number of horrible thoughts as she grabbed her drink and took a mean swig. swallowing her own building self pity as she forced a fake smile logan immediately knew to be fake.

“hi.” she said swiftly after she put her drink back down on the table — his eyebrow raising a little at her hostility as he looked to wade, hank the back to her.

“uh—“ logan spoke up, trying to find the words to say as he looked at her a bit lost for words at how she was acting as he swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat — feeling his frustration rise as he tried to control it, “where have you been?” he said lowly, hank raising his eyebrow at how this little conversation seemed weirdly tension filled. wade knew why, he could’ve called her little feelings for him back when she first met the guy but now he couldn’t help see how serious it was because off the way she was looking at him and how it was affecting her.

he couldn’t even brung himself to but in as he buried himself in his drink. hank doing the same.

“i’ve been busy. but i’ve been around— i saw you two days ago.” she said quickly, shifting in her seat a little as his eyes almost felt as if they burnt through her.

“you didn’t stay,” he said taking a pause as he looked at her, taking in just how intoxicated she seemed as he tried to analyse it, “like you uh- normally, do.”

his words touched a nerve on y/n as she felt that all familiar heart ache grow y/n trying to act as if the feeling inside her wasn’t killing her right now and ripping her to shreds as she kept her gaze on him, his eyes on her making her think and feel a number of things she hated.

“—had somewhere to be.” she replied quickly, his eyebrows raising at her bluntness to her reply as he knew something was off. he sensed it, the drunkness only adding to his worry as he went to step closer when he was cut off by a voice behind him.

y/n eyes dawned on the sight off jean, a tight silver dress on showcasing her curves as her red hair flowed down by her side as she looked at logan who hadn’t even brung himself to met her gaze yet. y/n immediately being hit with a truck load of insecurities just with a glance to the older women who had the only guy she’d ever loved wrapped around her finger.

y/n’s heart feeling as if it was stepped on as she kept her gaze on him — time feeling a little slow motion.

“logan—now.” jean said harshly.

“lo- logan.” she said again, y/n not leaving logan’s gaze as he swallowed his own spit as he eventually brung his gaze over to jean.

“logan— he knows.” she said harshly, her words a little quiet as they were clearly just meant for logan’s ears yet y/n heard them. “now! come on?” she questioned out frustratedly, saying that to grip his attention as logan looked to jean then back to y/n, wade and hank watching like it was a drama.

the air felt thick with some sort of something as y/n swallows, her eyes on him as he bit down on the inside of his cheek.

“be careful kid, remember to slow down.” he rolled out before he turned away with jean going right to her side as y/n scoffed as he walked off turning her attention back to the barmaid — not feeling logan’s eyes burning back to her as he took a long glance her way before disappearing off with jean into the party to sort whatever was happening.

y/n rolled her eyes the second she turned her attention back over to the bar as she looked down at the bar table, swallowing her thoughts down with the rest of her vodka as she felt the others eyes on her. they sensed on the tension — it was impossible not too.

“so they’re fucking again.” hank commented lowly and cluelessly. his words being like a gut punch to y/n as she bit down on her tongue as she called back over the barmaid, leaning over and ordering a couple shots as she sat back down in her seat.

“mm, most definitely.. hell for scott.” wade ushered out lowly, feeling a sense of guilt as he saw the way y/n’s eyes fell as y/n tried to mute out their conversation in the background as she welcomed the shots with open arms as she pulled the tray closer to her as she heard wade and hank whisper behind her as they leant over to gossip about the rumours of jean and scott being over as y/n’s heart felt as if it was plummeting and beating as fast as it ever had with every shot she took. the information she was hearing just making her internal pain grow worse as she tried to drink it away every shot seemingly enhancing her hurt as the metal images she were getting hurt her brain as she felt the urge to do something about it.

her mind full of relentless unlimited thoughts that were screaming at her as she placed the last empty shot glass she had down — the shots helping limit the voices to some extent as the barmaid came over and refilled them without another word most likely sensing her anguish as y/n nodded to her with as much of a smile she could muster up as she thought back to the conversation with logan.

“we’re going to dance— you coming?” wade spoke to y/n as that brung her out her gaze with the bottom of the shot glass as she shook her head, “no—thanks,” she slurred out as hank gave her a small nod and pat on the shoulder before they disappeared of into the crowd leaving her alone after saying their be right backs— her lips immediately around another glass as she finished the rest of the drinks thay were laid out in front-of her.

y/n either needed fresh air and a sick bucket or the man she loved and craved, and she was going with the latter. her desires only heightened which was making just about everything worse due to the mess the alcohol had started to cause her brain and body.

her heart pounding as she stood up, everything going messy and spin like as she stumbled through the crowd. her mind on one thing and one thing only, one person, as she got pushed around a bit by the dancing people as she made her way out the bar room she was in. her eyes searching the place as she looked for him in every corner, in every face, every person, every laugh, every grunt and every noise. she was searching for him like she had been doing within her heart ever since she’d know the man.

yet what she didn’t expect to see when she turned the corner was him right there. logan right there in his bubble of perfection as she saw it. her eyes taking him in as she saw him in the hallway — a smile joining her lips as she started to walk over to him planning what she was going to say in her brain. how she was going to do any of this? she didn’t even know what she had planned, she just wanted to speak to him. she needed to see his smile. she missed it. she wanted to make him laugh like usual, she wanted to kiss him, feel his touch. she needed it, it was destroying her to not have him. why was she ignoring him for the past two weeks? she should just tell him. nothing bad could hap—

“mine.” she swore she could make out logan saying, her eyebrows furrowing in pure confusion as she took one little step closer to where he was as her eyes dawned on a certain red head with a killer smirk on her lips as she had a tight grip on his chain.

and with that every thought she just had was crushed within the space of five or so seconds as she heard jean’s light hearted chuckle next, her voice grating against y/n’s mind as she swallowed her own spit back down as she made sure she couldn’t be seen by them. feeling the sick feeling rising in her as she watched logan’s hands wrap around jean’s waist as she pulled him closer to her in a teasing action that broke y/n’s heart in two.

she was frozen in her tracks, watching as the one she loved was with the one he loved.

“you’re mine.” ringing in her ears as she just made out what he had said to jean as his words sent a chill through y/n’s body as she felt the tears start to boil in her eyes as she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the scene. her mouth fallen gap as she watched as he roughly had her against the door jean’s hand going down to the handle of said door as y/n watched as jean pulled him in the room with her roughly.

the door slamming behind them as she felt her beating out her chest, her breath shaky and hitched as she swallowed.

and when she heard a little squeal come from the room over the music a few seconds or minutes later, she couldn’t tell how long had passed, that’s when she knew she needed to go before she turned into a public laughing stock as she turned on her heel — shakily making her way through the crowd again, unbeknownst to the tears dropping down her cheeks as she fought her way through the dancing crowd as she tried to get the hell out of here as she thought she was fighting back her emotions, yet she really wasn’t doing too good of a job with it.

“watch it!” someone yelled out over the music to y/n as she shuffled past them quickly, stumbling out and disappearing through the back door as she made her break for it. her heart feeling broken to an extreme it hadn’t felt before which was only amplified by the alcohol as she felt her brain chemistry formed for logan be destroyed within a matter of moments. seeing it in front of her own eyes being completely different from assuming it had happened.

the fact they were doing that right now she just couldn’t and didn’t want too comprehend it. it hurting her so much she felt as if she was going to be sick, she could feel it to the extremist point that when she managed her way to the end of the courtyard where her little spot was with her childhood swing set, where she’s surprised she even remembered the whereabouts off in this state, she couldn’t stop herself from leaning down into a bush shakily.

her mouth watering, her throat burning with liquid as y/n threw up into the bush her heart pounding ridiculously as she felt the tears burning against her cheek as she didn’t even notice the feeling off two strong hands holding her hair back. her body shaking as she kept being sick, feeling the acid burn her throat as she felt a strong hand round her hair pulling it into a ponytail and another hand around her fragile body to keep her up.

her body flinching a little at the touch as the person leaned a little closer as y/n was sick some more, “it’s okay—“ a low voice ushered out as y/n couldn’t help be sick again, leaning down closer into the bush nearly tripping into it as the person held her upright. their hand snacking onto her waist as y/n leaned back into their touch. basically tripping into it as she let out a shaky breath as she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her top.

her eyes moving up onto an all familiar face and she instantly cursed in her brain as he managed to move her over to the swings, sitting her down in one of two seats as she clung to the chain of it leaning her body against it freely as she let out a little cry.

“you’re good.” scott said softly his voice low as he spoke into a comforting tone that didn’t completely soothe her as she felt the tears trail down her cheek as he kneeled down — his hands stabilising the swing that was rocking a little as he looked up at her making sure she was okay on the swing. the cold air hitting the twos faces as the moon shone down on the courtyard, the faint sound of pop music from the mansion being completely distant to both of them.

“scott.” she managed to say, him being able to tell how far gone she was by the way she slurred her words as if her crying and throwing up didn’t prove that enough. his eyes on her as he moved her hair out the way for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she held back a little sob which wasn’t held back that well as she let out a shaky whimper.

“w-why— doesn-t he love me?” she spoke out quickly, her breath shaky and her voice high pitched as she let out little sniffles in between words, the weight of those making a sad smile tug on scott’s lips as he kept his hand on her face trying to keep her upright which was sort of impossible as he kept his comforting warm hand against her face. just trying to make her feel okay.

“—he—“ scott cut himself off before he moved closer to her, trying to keep her calm, “he does love you okay?”

y/n shook her head at scott’s words as she let out a muffled sob against her wrist, shaking her head as scott wiped the tears from her cheeks. “not like i want him to.” she rolled out in a slur, scott feeling his heart beat quicken at her little admission as if he didn’t know how she felt over him before as he moved his finger across her cheek in a soft circular motion, his hand cupping her jaw.

“hey- he does okay?” scott said quickly as he moved her jaw down so she met his eyes again, his tone soft as he moved himself to the other swing next to her — the second he was sat him moving his swing closer to her own. tangling the chains of his swing up a little in doing so.

“he does.” scott added out again, y/n not believing him at all as she swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat as she leaned herself again the hand that was cupping her face as she nearly tumbled off the swing.

her biting down on her tongue as she let out a little squeal as scott placed his hand on her back supporting and holding her up as a little chuckle left her lips as she leaned forward a little. scott not letting his hand move as worry was evident on his face as y/n turned to him a sad smile on her lips, tears still evident on her face.

“i wish.” he heard her whisper as he swallowed, his own voice breaking a little, “come on. okay? he doesn’t know what he’s missing right now.— he doesnt see you liking him.” scott said softly, giving her a little playful nudge as y/n started to lose the energy to even speak off it as she felt another tear slip down her cheek.

his words were taking the weight off her shoulders as she moved in the swing a little, scott’s comforting hand on her back which was now sort off around her waist making her sure she wasn’t going to fall as she moved a tiny bit closer to him on her swing. their swings touching a little.

“you deserve better then jean-y bitch.” she managed out lowly, scott not being able to help the chuckle that escaped his lips at how she put it as he looked out at the mansion in front of them. the moon present in his red tinted glasses.

“yeah— i’m starting to realise that.” he chuckled out as y/n gave him a drunken smile in return as she locked eyes with scott. someone she’d hardly noticed was this nice mostly due to the words logan remarked about him all the time as her smile couldn’t help but grow as she looked at him. the air softening between the two as y/n felt tiredness fall over her as she leant against the chains a little as she slowly moved her gaze over to the moon.

a few moments of silence passes before scott spoke up.

“y/n?” scott managed out trying to grab her attention as he saw he eyes wondering a bit. his eyebrows furrowing when he heard no answer in return, her silence scaring him as he nudged her.

“y/n?” he quickly said out once again, nudging her a little as he saw how limp her body was and noticed her closed eyes.

“fuck— y/n.” he ushered out quickly as he stood from his seat and went right to her side as he kneeled down, tapping her face to try and catch her attention. y/n stirring a little at his action as he stood up, pulling her up with him as he placed his hand around her waist as he tried to shake her a little which did the job as her eyes fluttered open to meet his own.

a drunken smile joining on her lips as a tear dropped down her cheek that she didn’t even notice as she chuckled a little, leaning close to him as she swayed a little.

“scott.” she said lowly as scott gave her a low chucke as she placed her arm around him drunk on, him wiping the tear of her cheek softly something he’d done a number of times since being in her presence tonight.

“okay it’s time to go sleep— im taking you to bed.” he explained softly as y/n looked at him with a little furrowed brow as he started to walk, helping her walk alongside him her hardly even able to realise she was walking as she leaned against his touch.

“you’re good.” he said calmly to her as they walked through the dark courtyard, the illuminated by the moon field of grass between them and the bustling school /xmansion being the only light to guide them. his grip on her tightening softly when she nearly tripped over her own feet, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he realised just how long of a walk it was to the mansion. him sighing as he held her upright. “nearly there.” he muffled out as y/n leaned to him.

“—‘m gonna be sick.” she quickly flushed out before throwing her head over in the other direction as scott patted her back and stopped in his tracks at her words as she was sick again — him holding the urge got to be sick too because the smell as he focused on helping her. his heart skipping a beat bit as he felt his anger growing over logan putting her in this situation where she was so drunk she was being sick or the fact that she was being sick just thinking about logan it made his blood boil as he felt his jaw clench — his eyebrows twitching as he helped her get it all out, whispering little comforts as he soothed her back.

“good girl. “ he said lowly as y/n brung her gaze into him once more him giving her a small sad smile as he placed his hand back around her waist to guide her, “cmon, bed.” he whispered out to her as they started walking again. having to go through the party definitely going to be a difficult task as scott tightened his grip around her waist as they walked past a couple people hanging around the outside area of the building as the music met y/n’s ears as once they got into the building scott called for people to move out the way as he made y/n stay close to him. her eyes wondering over everyone in her drunken haze as scott helped her over to the staircase which was through a couple wide, filled rooms.

her swearing she came across wade and hank in the corner with two twins and colossus’s doing a certain something to wade, her eyebrows furrowing at what she believed to have just seen as she shook it off as she met scott’s words.

“you need to be carried or are you okay?” scott asked as if he was babying her which sent a wave of comfort through her body as she let the question hang in her brain as she tried to form answer to it as she leaned herself against scott.

“‘u—‘i can—“

“scarlett?” logan roughly called out in a raised voice towards scott as he came over out of nowhere. scott rolling his eyes as he quickly picked y/n up, y/n being in scott’s arms as her eyes fluttered open to see logan to the side of them. scott’s jaw immediately clenching as he continued up the stairs without cracking a word to logan as he rushed after the pair. his own anger frustratingly high as he tried to control himself and stop himself from doing anything stupid.

“scott?” logan said harshly, his anger growing as he didn’t get an answer as he tried to get the man to look at him.

“lo-“ y/n slipped out, her voice muffled as she leaned into scott’s arms more as he carried her bridal style up the stairs. her realising his presence, logan’s eyes casting onto y/n and then back to scott. his eyes darkening.

“what have you done to her?!” logan rushed out, his voice cracking with worry as scott ignored his words as he made it to the top of the stairs and continued on down to where he’s pretty sure her room is.

“scott!” logan shouted again trying to get his attention as scott opened the door with his back, giving logan a harsh glare as he walked right over to the bed where he placed y/n down carefully on it. her drunken self pouring the cover over her figure as she rolled over in bed. letting out a little muffled whimper as her head laid on the pillow.

the second scott having let go off y/n he immediately turned to logan scott not giving logan another chance to talk before he connected his fist with his jaw, logan been taken aback a little as he raised an eyebrow, scott looking right at him as logan pushed him back harshly.

“what the fuck did you do?” logan cursed out quickly, scott scoffing as he held back taking his glasses off because of the fact it was a party, not logan’s funeral even despite how much he wanted it to be.

“you should ask yourself that, prick.” scott said harshly. logan’s eyebrows raising at his words as scott pushed himself past logan without another word.

logan immediately grabbing scott’s arm harshly, his claws aching to come out as he met his gaze.

“what do you mean by that?” logan said quickly, his eyes locked onto scott’s as so many questions flowed his brain. his thoughts enlaced with y/n and the worry he had for the girl as scott harshly brung his hand back to his side after shaking logan’s grip off — giving logan a stern look as he looked him up and down judgementally, “god, you are so stupid. you’d think being born in the 19th century would make you slightly smarter then a twenty nine year old.” scott scoffed out lowly, his words only angering logan more as he shoved scott against the wall.

his claws extending as he pressed them close to his throat — his threat there as scott swallowed.

“tell me.” he said harshly as scott couldn’t help a certain look cross his face. completely frustrated by logan, his heart aching for jean in this moment as he stared at what she had clearly picked over himself that enraging him yet also y/n and what she had just gone through herself. the heart ache something he could relate too and he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. yet right now he would logan however.

“she saw you and jean you idiot. meaning i did too. meaning— fuck you.” scott said quickly as he clicked his visor getting the right aim, logan jumping back as scott lazered his chest. his beam going right through as a loud grunt escaped his lips as logan in immediate retaliation clawed scott in the side, scott pushing back the whimper threatening to leave his lips as logan as he got ready to take another shot at the man.

logan raising his eyebrow as the two stared eachother down, “i’ll heal,” logan rolled out his words only angering scott worse as he went to raise his glasses again as logan roughly placed his hand on his chest to stop him, his claws retracted back in.

“i wish you wouldn’t.” scott bit out harshly as logan scoffed at his words, keeping his anger limited as he rolled his eyes.

“jean only needed someone to talk too—“

“you mean fuck.” scott said out harshly, jean crossing logan’s mind as his jaw clenched his gaze darkening as he couldn’t bring himself to shake his head. not that he was thinking about scott’s feelings — right now his mind pondering on another.

scott saw how logan couldn’t even fight back with words — tutting as he pushed him back. logan’s hands falling to his side as the two didn’t break eye contact.

“you know we’re engaged.” scott spit out like venom, his words causing a look of surprise to wash over logan’s face as his mouth fell open, “well we were.” he added out.

“you were— what?” logan fumbled out, confusion written on his face as scott rolled his eyes at his reaction. not that he cared deep down, but it felt like he did right now.

“great.. she didn’t tell you. like she didn’t tell anyone,” he said lowly, “not that it makes it any better what you’ve done,” scott casted out as a few seconds finding passed as he tried to find the words which only come out anger filled, “she’s a caniving cheating bitch.” scott cursed out, logan not bringing himself to react to the words scott ushered about jean as he looked at scott.

logan was about to say something to scott when the sound of y/n’s soft little snores filled the room which made the tension even higher as scott and logan glared at eachother.

“maybe just think next time before you fuck someone else’s girl, again.” scott managed out as he pushed past logan to leave the room.

“i don’t think she’s your girl.” logan called back out before he left as scott’s jaw clenched at his words as he opened the door.

“not anymore. you can have her.” he said harshly as he paused as he knew he had to say something.

“—just think about how y/n feels, because i know hurts.” scott spoke lowly as he left without another word clearly implying a certain fact.

logans heart skipped a beat at his words as the door shut behind scott, his mind feeling as if it was in a war as the tension built in the room immediately. the air feeling thick as he swallowed his own spit not bringing himself to call something back to him as his words couldn’t even bring themselves to form right in his brain yet alone out loud.

his eyes dawned back onto the sleeping girl y/n laying there. looking so soft and innocent, completely sound asleep and his heart couldn’t help twang a little as he bit down on the inside of his cheek — many bustling thoughts cursing his brain as he wished he had never thought of them.

his mind lingering on the thought of jean and what just occurred within him and scott as he came down from the pain that was inflicted on him his chest rising rapidly to a more normal flow as he healed. as he focused his gaze on y/n as he furrowed his eyebrows over what scott had said, trying to wrap his brain around it.

logan’s eyes dawning on y/n. guilt seeping through him as he felt his heart gain that aching feeling y/n had been riddled with since the day she first realised she was in love with the man as he sat on the foot of the bed. his mind feeling melted as he placed his hand on her own his big, gruff and rough feeling hand taking the soft touch of her hand into his own grip. her hand being half if not less of his size as he soothed her. her touch being another level of comfort he didn’t recall experiencing since he was a young boy that feeling sending memories flooding through his brain he couldn’t focus on now.

feeling all the emotions boiling up he’d been fighting to push down as he looked down at her asleep body. what was all of this? she had been distant, almost rude and very cold and scott’s words were making that why question he had on his mind for the past two weeks clearer.

the implication of scott’s words hung in his mind as he looked at her. him eventually bringing himself over to the spare place next to her in the bed not wanting to leave her alone for the night too worried about how drunk she was and if anything could happen in the night.. or anyone else drunkily walking in. but he couldn’t help deep down in knowing that those were just excuses to stay within her presence. asleep or not.

carefully building a gap between the two of them as he laid down — no matter how strong the urge to hug her and comfort her was — as he let out a rough exhale as he closed his eyes.

only to open them three seconds later to look at her. his eyes not leaving her peacefully asleep body for the rest of the night.

[pathologicalreid]

if you love me, keep it to yourself | s.r.

[previously]

in which Spencer gifts you a necklace for your birthday and you begin to question why you continue to push him away

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst (kinda flangsty) content warnings: blowing smoke part THREE, kissing, starcrossed lovers, spencer being interested in other girls, jealous!reader, maeve, reader has hair that covers her neck (?), circa s10, dancing, reader's birthday but the weather/time of year isn't mentioned word count: 2.24k a/n: i meant to post this earlier but i got distracted by animal crossing. my bad.

You shifted your feet again, wary of your heels slowly digging into the dirt behind Rossi’s house—mansion. You folded and unfolded your hands, waiting for something to happen while everyone’s attention was on you.

In true BAU fashion, they’d thrown you a birthday party despite you insisting that you didn’t want one, which left you in a party dress, sitting on the outdoor furniture and watching the way the stars glimmered this far away from the city. Exhaustion wore at you like waves, waiting for an acceptable time to abandon the festivities.

They surrounded you. All of your friends minus Kate, who had gone home early to spend time with Meg, and yet, it still felt like there was a piece of you missing. Something inside of you had been chiseled away with an ice pick, and the raw flesh stung with fresh hurt when Spencer stood in front of you.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked you softly, providing you with a false sense of protection from prying eyes. Spencer’s brown eyes glowed beneath the warm string of lights, studying your appearance as if it was the first time he’d seen you all night.

His hands were tucked into his pockets, and you wrapped your arms tightly around yourself, feeling cold despite the heated patio you were sitting on. “No one else is dancing, Spence,” you told him, watching as he took your rejection for what it was.

Spencer turned from you, walking along the path to the gazebo, minding the gaps between the stones as he hung his head. You watched him smooth his suit jacket as he looked up at the same sky that you’d been keeping an eye on, waiting for it to fall.

Someone cleared their throat beside you, and you glanced over to see Dave giving you a disappointed look. “Now,” he started, “I hope I’m not overstepping when I saw this, but if you keep holding him at arm’s length, eventually he’s going to walk the other way.”

You slid further down on the chair you were perched on. He was overstepping. Overstepping so far that his foot was going to slide off of the edge of the world. Part of you wondered if you were watching it happen right now, if Spencer was finally turning and walking away from you for good, but as you eyed him from the patio, he peeked over his shoulder, looking to see if you had moved to follow him.

That was your cue. Pushing yourself to your feet, you wrapped your shawl over your shoulders and followed the cobblestone path that would lead you to Spencer. Your heels tapped gently on the old stone until you halted at the entrance of the gazebo, holding a hand to the worn wood column to keep yourself steady. “Hey,” you greeted, an involuntary smile flying to your face when his head lifted at the sound of your voice.

“Happy birthday,” he whispered. Your proximity to the team was no longer a concern of yours, but the two of you still chose to speak in quiet truths. Using small voices sometimes seemed to quell the gravity of your situation. Two people in love who would never be able to find their way together.

You wanted to move on from stolen kisses in bars and tears shed in your apartment, but every time you looked at him, you were struck with the memory of years past. You thanked him, conscious of the tentative peace between you. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and his hair had grown considerably since the last time you stood opposite each other like this, but he was still Spencer.

His tie was crooked, and you put your hands behind your back as if to physically restrain yourself from fixing it for him. Besides, there was something about his crooked tie that made him undeniably Spencer—it was so endearing that it built a pit in your chest. “I got you something,” he spoke again, digging in his back pocket for something.

Your breath caught in your throat when he produced the dainty chain; a simple necklace dangled from his fingers and without giving it a second thought, you lifted your hand and took the chain from him. “It’s beautiful,” you murmured, wondering where Spencer acquired the skill of picking out jewelry.

“I don’t see any dancing,” Rossi heckled from the patio, and as if he was controlling you, the two of you took a step toward each other.

You were toe to toe; goosebumps spread across your skin while Spencer’s hand splayed across the small of your back. You set your free hand on his shoulder, the other one dedicated to clutching your new necklace as if your life depended on it. “We don’t have to dance,” he offered to you, still whispering as if Rossi had bugged the gazebo.

Shaking your head, your face warmed when someone turned the volume up and the rest of the team retreated to the indoors. “You like to dance,” you countered, swaying gently with the music.

Every bit of coordination that Spencer lacked with sports, he made up for with dancing. His mom taught him when he was a kid. At least, that’s what he’d told you years ago. “I know I do, but… I was really just looking for a reason to get you away from everyone so I could give you your gift.”

Squeezing his shoulder, you smiled despite yourself and shrugged, “I like dancing with you, Spence.” You wanted to slip something in about being a good friend, but you bit your tongue. He’d just given you a necklace, and you knew better than to push him away now.

The corner of his mouth quirked up in response, “We could dance all the time if you’d go out with me.”

Your steps faltered, you would’ve tripped over your own feet if Spencer wasn’t there, keeping you upright. “I thought we were past this,” you said after regaining your balance.

“I never will be,” he responded immediately. “Can I be honest?”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked up at him, “If you must.”

“When you told me ‘not right now’ in that bar last year, I didn’t anticipate it taking this long,” he told you, tilting his head to the side. “I don’t mind waiting for you, but part of me was worried that you forgot.”

“I remember,” you assured him. “I told you I’d let you know, and I will.”

Spencer laughed nervously, the gold glimmering in his irises under the faint lights of the gazebo, “You wouldn’t happen to have a timeline for me, would you?”

Your smile returned to your face; he pulled you closer to him with the flat of his palm on your back. “How was your date with that surveillance agent?” You spun the conversation around, acting as if you didn’t remember Dorian’s name. They’d gone out for coffee, and you recalled being in a particularly rotten mood that day.

He hummed thoughtfully, “I don’t think we’ll see each other again.”

“Oh,” you feigned surprise, “Why not?”

“She’s not you,” he answered easily, maintaining his façade that you were the only girl in the world—at least as far as he was concerned.

You rolled your eyes, “You’re going to have a hard time finding someone to go out with if that’s your prerequisite.” You tried to resist the flattery that his words brought to you. Your heart clenched at your brain’s outright refusal to accept him.

He shrugged, “I don’t want anyone else.”

Your feet stopped, pausing the dance, “Spencer…”

Spencer shook his head dismissively, “I’m tired of dancing around each other.”

Looking around, you spotted the bench in the gazebo. You nodded in the structure’s direction, “Did you want to sit down then?”

He glanced over his shoulder to the bench, “I was speaking figuratively.”

“Ah,” you breathed. “Well, how do you think we should move forward?” You let him lead you over to the bench, minding the way the curtains of the house moved—a sign that your friends were eavesdropping.

His eyes flickered down to your hand. Your fist was clenched around the necklace that he had gifted you. “You could start by wearing the necklace,” he proposed, taking your hand in his.

Spencer cradled your fist, peeling your fingers away from your palm one at a time before revealing the pendant. “Why don’t you put it on me?”

Plucking the chain from your hand, you turned away from him, lifting your hair from the back of your neck so he could have a clear view of the clasp. His fingertips touched your bare skin ever so slightly when he released the necklace.

You were so close. You were so close to calling everything off and telling him you were ready, but when you turned around and met his eyes, you saw it again. You looked into his eyes and saw the terror. The vague sense of haunting that had been there since the day Maeve died still bloomed in his irises.

You’re not sure why you spoke again, but he had given you something. You felt inclined to return the favor. “Do you know the first time I knew I was in love with you? I mean really knew that I was in love… It was the case right before Emily joined the BAU—the first time. There were two killers operating in St. Louis at the same time, and you had found their communication in the classifieds. It seems so insignificant looking back at it now, but there was something about the way you explained it to me. I realized it wasn’t just that I was impressed by your brain, but I was in love with you.”

He's silent for a long time, and you know why. You’ve never told him you loved him. There had never been a moment before this where you’d truly confessed your love for him, and yet, he knew it as surely as he knew his own name. “That was eight years ago,” he croaked, his voice suffocated by turmoil.

“I know,” you breathed. Your voice was so soft that you weren’t sure he’d hear you, but he did. Spencer always heard you.

He took a deep breath, looking at you frantically like he was waiting for you to take it back, “You never said anything.”

You nodded, “I know.”

“I—” he faltered over his feelings. “I wish you’d said something to me years ago. We’ve missed so much time together.” His words implied that there was a new sense of togetherness now. It wasn’t as easy as being in love with each other, you knew that.

Shaking your head, you dropped a hand to the bench you were sitting on, the wood soft with years of occupants. “I don’t know, Spencer,” you shrugged, tracing the woodgrain with your fingertips. “I’ve seen the other girls over the years. I never thought you’d be interested in reciprocating my feelings.”

He frowned, “Other girls?” His hand caught yours on the bench, enveloping your hand with his warm, nimble fingers.

“JJ, Lila, Austin, Maeve,” you listed, redirecting your focus to the ridges of his hand. You wanted to commit each crease and swirl to memory before he inevitably dropped your hand.

Surprise lit up his face, cocking his head to the side while he looked at you patiently, “None of them are you.”

She’s not you. None of them are you. His words echoed around the confines of your skull like a ping-pong ball. “You keep saying that like it means something.”

“It means everything to me,” he insisted. “You mean everything to me.”

His ice pick had returned, chiseling at your resolve like you were running out of time. “They’re just words,” you said desolately, the dainty chain around your neck applying pressure like shackles on your shoulders.

“Can I ask you a question?” As expected, he withdrew his hand from yours, leaving your palms empty, begging for more.

You hummed, bringing your hands back to your lap, “Like that’s ever stopped you before.”

Slowly, he slid off of the bench, kneeling in front of you while he took both of your hands in yours. “You’ve built your walls up so high, how do you know if you’re protected or imprisoned?”

Freezing, you gave yourself a moment to process his words before you tilted your head down in shame, “I’m not entirely sure anymore.” Your confession came as a surprise to both of you. You swallowed thickly, leaning over to be closer to him, “but I think I’d like you to kiss me again.”

Not needing to be told twice, Spencer craned his head forward and pressed his lips to yours. He rose to his feet, cradling your cheeks, he held you like water in his hands. He kissed you and it was just as sweet as it had been the first time, pulling away slightly, he whispered I love you against your lips.

That was all it took for you to drag yourself away from him. Three words that you’d waited a decade for, and all you could get yourself to say was, “It’s okay.”

“Is it?” He asked breathlessly.

Frantically, you stood up and smoothed out your dress. “It will be,” you offered. You headed back to the house, leaving Spencer—and your heart—behind.

"All suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire." - Edgar Allen Poe

[the-promise-has-been-made]

using hero forge to make two D&D characters gaze lovingly into each other's eyes because the game fell apart before they ever could is the equivelent of taking your miniatures and making them kiss...