#still i feel like i could’ve went idk i feel bad😭

[chososcamgirl]

guys should i feel bad for missing an interview for a job even tho i just got a job at like the best possible place i could work at?😭

[svnarin]

- so like maybe like a fic/drabble/whatever with suna when reader and him get in a fight and reader leaves to like cool down or sum- and reader gets hurt bad :3

idk man it’s cringy and wattpad coded but I like that shit 😞 feel free to decline! ((If rq is 2 weird maybe do a vulnerable moments with him))

Ty for reading ! (I dunno how to reqs I’m sorry💀)

୨୧⋆ ˚ — selfish

warnings!! angst, suna being a selfish asshole, open-ended 'cause it still ended in an unresolved argument, not proofread 😞

note! HI ANON!! this is actually my very first time taking such a request. tbh with you, i've never done that much angst and this is actually the heaviest angst i've done by far, but i hope this can satisfy your wants 😭🙏

FEEDBACKS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

“where are you? i can’t find you in the stadium.” 

you don’t want to reply to his message. heck, you don’t even want to open the notification at all. 

it’s been three hours since the match ended and it’s been an hour since you left the stadium, and he just realized that you left just now? ridiculous. 

you stared blankly at the notification until he sent you another one just three minutes later.

“y/n where are you?” suna sent you another one. “why aren’t you reading my messages?”

you were literally about to space out from staring blankly at his messages when your phone suddenly vibrated. he’s calling you, snapping you back into reality. 

you sighed before declining his call.

“at home,” you replied to his message. “i went home early then i dozed off, sorry,” you added.

he immediately replied with, “ok ig i’ll go home now.”

you’re aware that his reply was dry, but like, that’s all? some ok ig is all he can reply? but at this point, you couldn’t even care less anymore. 

around 45 minutes later, you were lounging on the sofa when you suddenly heard the entrance to your and suna’s shared penthouse open. you already know it’s suna. he’s the only other one who knows the passcode to the penthouse after all. 

“why did you leave so early? did you even finish watching the whole match at all?” that’s the first thing he told you when he went to the lounging area. so is that really how he’ll greet you? it made you laugh dryly.

“not even a hello?”

“i asked you first.” he’s clearly pissed off. 

“why are you mad?” you stood up from the sofa, walking towards him. “i was there and i watched your whole match. i know you lost the match, but you don’t have to put your anger on me.” 

“so why did you leave after the match was over?”

“what do you mean? i literally stayed there for two more hours before i left.” it’s true. you stayed for two more hours and waited for him. and for the whole two hours, you wanted to go and still congratulate him for his performance, but you couldn’t. why? because he got swarmed by his fans, begging to take pictures with him and getting his autograph.

you tried squeezing yourself in. you loudly called for his name through the crowd, but all you saw was him taking a glance at you before returning his focus to taking pictures and signing autographs. 

“you literally looked at me when i called your name after the match, you just didn’t bother walking towards me.” 

“wait, yeah, i did see you earlier. sorry.” suna doesn’t sound sorry at all. “still, you could’ve waited for me.”

“rin, i tried waiting for you. i tried calling for your attention because i still wanted to congratulate you even if you lost, you just didn’t bother because you were too busy taking pictures and signing autographs.”

“me just only taking glances at you and not walking towards you as i was clearly,” he emphasized. “taking pictures and signing autographs is already an act of not bothering?” 

“so their attention matters more than mine?” 

“i did not say that, y/n. don’t make things complicated.” you can feel the tone of his voice getting sharper and sharper.

“then why are you making it sound like their attention matters more than mine? you don’t have to take pictures with everyone. you don’t have to sign every autograph they request. you always do this but you literally don’t have to do everything they want. they’re just your fans, they come and go.”

“wait, are you fucking jealous over the attention i gave them? when we literally live under the same roof?” suna laughed dryly, his words making your blood boil. 

“of course i’m jealous!” you snapped, shouting at him. “we live under the same roof but you’re out almost 24/7!”

“don’t you get it?! i’m a volleyball player, so what do you expect?!” suna snapped back. “are you even aware that you’re being selfish right now?”

“wait, selfish? me?” you scoffed. “can you hear yourself right now, suna?” you pointed at your ear. “so i’m the selfish one when all i did was sacrifice everything just so that i could choose you?” you pointed to his chest. “when i literally left my family, closest friends, and career on a different prefecture just so that i could live with you here in tokyo to support you on your own career? when i literally had to skip work multiple times just so that i could attend all your matches? when all i wanted in return was the unconditional love that you promised me when we were in high school?” 

the suna that you’re facing right now isn’t the suna that you knew back in high school. he changed. he changed after being a part of the volleyball national team. but despite the change, you stayed. 

choosing him over everything caused you some damage. you waited and are still waiting until those damages healed. you know it hurts, waiting for the damage to heal for so long, but you also think that if you manage to get it healed, you can consider it as good damage. so, if you will leave him midway through healing, then all the damage will be just damage. but now you know better than this. you need to stop choosing him, you need to choose you.

all the things that you’ve been wanting to tell him just spilled as if a dam burst broken. you can feel tears now streaming down your face. “so suna, let me ask you again, am i the one who’s being selfish?” 

that was the last thing you told him before picking up your purse and then walking towards the penthouse to leave. 

suna just stood on his spot, silent the whole time. realization immediately kicked in when he heard the entrance to the penthouse shut close. he couldn’t move even though he wanted to. he wanted to chase after you, kneel after you, and beg for your forgiveness but he couldn’t move. he knows he fucked up big time. he knows he’s been fucking up for years. 

𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | repost, modification, and translation of my works on any platforms are strictly prohibited.

[st4rgzer]

now playing…SO LONG, LONDON (spencer reid)

summary: spencer realizes how much damage he had been causing you.

genre: angst with fluffy ending

cw!: idk relationship problems?😭 also use of y/n and y/l/n (your last name)

a/n: so since y’all wanted a happy ending version! here it is, it isn’t quite like the song but yeah, you guys get the point. masterlist

tension protruded eagerly from the silent room. it was dim, you had left some candles lit but that was it. your cheeks were wet and hot. but somehow you still felt an adamant numbing sensation of coldness. your weary bones hugged your knees, sniffles breaking through the silence.

“how long did you think i could’ve held on” you muttered through your broken voice.

“what?” he lifted his head from in between his legs where he had his hands pressed to the back of his neck.

“how long did you think i could’ve held on to you? were you just going to let me destroy myself, give everything i had just for you to crack a smile?” you spoke loudly now, sharp words that stung as spencer heard every one of them.

he didn’t respond. instead, he just listened. he knew the last thing you wanted from him right now was for him tp talk back, so he let you talk.

“fuck, even my friends said it was not right to be scared! not of you, but of how quickly your temperament can change from one moment to another. every breath that i take feels like im stealing it from you, like- like when i do finally get to do so, its short and doesn’t last long until i have to hold my breath again.”

“do you resent me, spencer? is that what this is? you left the BAU after you got back from prison, and i thought it was to settle down, make me your wife. but you never wanted this, did you?” spencers head perked up. his demeaner changed. he went from attentive and remorseful to stern.

“do not say that. “ he pointed a finger at you “y/n y/l/n don’t you, for a second, think i regret any minute i’ve ever spent with you, i regret a lot of things in my life but meeting you, loving you? i’ve never thought twice about that. you are my number one priority in this life, and im sorry i couldn’t give you everything you wanted, at least not right now. but i promise, i swear on my life, if that even means anything, that i’m going to get better. and i know actions speak more than words, but please, please hold on. i’m not going to insist you stay here with me, but just promise you’ll come back when you’re ready? i love you, y/n, and i hate myself for even thinking that i hurt you.” his tone was indulgent, pleading almost. he had stood up and waved his hands frantically as he punctuated each word, meaning every one. his frazzled hair and big brown eyes kept you at bay.

for a few minutes there was silence as you quietly digested his words.

“do you mean that?” you whispered, fragile, as you looked up at him.

he nodded his head, looking away and blinking a few times. trying to hold in the tears that painfully pricked his waterline.

you sighed, attempting to weigh the pro’s and con’s of the situation, but you loved him. a mental list of the good and the bad wasn’t going to decide the fate of your life. in every relationship there’s hell in heaven, eventually, happiness comes back. all you knew was that this man encapsulated your whole being with nothing more than love and affection, so you knew that this was nothing but a small dent in the glass case that encased the rose that was your love.

you opened your arms, he hesitantly got down to your level. you held him tightly, as if the weight of the wind was to carry him away at any moment. he buried his head in qthe crook of your neck, sniffling as he let out soft sobs, and whispers of apologies.

eventually, the tears ceased. and you both laid there, enveloped. consumed by each other, hands caught in spencers hair from raking through it, as sleep caught onto you. spencer kissed the bridge of your nose gently.

“i love you”

“i love you too”

a/n: guys idk how to feel about this one, this might have been my least favorite so far😭

taglist: @ilovesadiesink @sp3ncelle @lvtilzs @bunnylov-3-r @bellasprettywords

*comment to be added*

[reveluving]

Damn ive never seen you earlier, you write graves just amazing :(

Idk if you are still taking requests but how do you think graves approached his shy gf/wife in the first place? Is he persuasive?

Aww babe!! That is so nice of you to say! 😭 Sorry it took a bit of time ‘cause I admit, I’ve never thought of this, not deeply, at least! Please enjoy ‘cause I know I did 😘💗

Includes: tooth-rotting fluff!

COD x shy!wife thots closed! Thank you, everyone, for your time & amazing minds! I sincerely hope I can do this again with y'all soon! 💌

Come & check out my COD m.list!

The possibilities of meeting Graves for the first time are endless, but I have two in mind!

The first scenario is a typical but well-loved meet cute at a café, or a bookstore or better; a book café! With you and him standing in one corner of the counter, waiting for your drinks. Graves has zero problems in offering you a polite smile, only for his amusement to grow when you return the smile, albeit a smaller one, before immediately averting your gaze. 

The barista’s taking a while to make your drinks, so after some time, he thought of just striking up a conversation.

“They’re sure takin’ their sweet time.” Was the first thing he said to you. A lighthearted comment—you would’ve been more worried if he was more gruff about it, and you weren’t even a worker there.

You nod, huffing in amusement while looking at the dishevelled teenager, “They don’t usually take this long.”

Graves nods along and though he asks you some things, such as if you were a regular customer or if you had any recommendations, regardless of whether it was sweet treats or any novels you may have stumbled upon (even if he’s not a fan of reading, he may or may not like the way you slowly yet surely open up with him), he keeps them a bare minimum. He doesn’t want you to feel forced, especially since he began the conversation.

Soon, the barista finally completes your order, but unfortunately, it’s prepared wrongly. 

Yours were hot while Graves was iced. The complete opposite of what you and he asked for.

He was perceptive, seeing you grimace but also ready to just accept whatever was offered, Graves spoke up.

“Excuse me, kid, but I’m pretty sure you got our orders mixed up,” You would’ve panicked if it wasn’t for his cordial approach. Disappointed or not, he had no problem hiding it. And even so, you couldn’t help but feel bad when they heard the dreadful words. They must’ve faced a harsher customer in the past. 

Graves was quick to reassure them, even telling them to take the mistaken orders and share with a colleague, much to your surprise. Of course, you weren’t expecting him to lash out, not right away, at least, but you weren’t blind to his… lifestyle. Just from the way he carried himself, you knew he must be some kind of a ‘man of the hour’. That, and the way he dressed/his items i.e. his laptop bag, phone. 

And yet, you never saw him as one of those unapproachable degenerates. Thinking they were high and mighty, maybe even cause a ruckus and gain some kind of benefit out of it. He was confident, sure, but he could’ve just ignored you the whole time, much like now. 

“Thank you.” You thanked him softly when the barista, with the weight seemingly lifted off their shoulders, went back to make you and Graves’ orders again. 

“It’s no problem. Thought y’might need a little help.” So he did notice. You wanted the floor to swallow you whole for not hiding your emotion better, but something about his smile, his lack of judgement, it didn’t make you feel too bad about it all. 

Plus, you couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t easy on the eye, either.

Bonus if you decide to take a leap and accept his offer of sitting together at the window seat, especially if it’s during the lunch rush! The two of you may become regulars at the café and soon enough, you exchange numbers!

The second scenario is actually part of a mini-series that I’m working on (read: collecting dust), with you being a florist! While I won’t spoil a whole lot, it involves our beloved Shiba Inu. By now, we all know Kai is extremely playful, borderline mischievous if it means being a loving pain in Graves’ ass. 

So, after looking away for a moment, only to find Kai making a mess out of some flower shop owner’s potted flowers, he’s initially more disappointed (but not surprised) than worried. But nothing a little Southern charm and a bit of reimbursement can’t solve. 

That is until he sees you.

And while this revelation wouldn’t leave him to tuck his tail between his legs, I can see him going like ‘oh’, turning away for a second to swear under his breath before putting on his award-winning smile. But in all honesty, there’s a tad bit of guilt in it, especially after he overhears you forgive Kai, who, surprisingly, is whimpering in front of you, despite your soft tone.

Oh, how Graves could never forget your voice. 

Upon approaching you at the front door, he immediately apologizes, and unlike other times where he’s trying to rush the conversation so it could all be said and done, he’s very patient with you, partially praying that you were with him, too. There’s just something so magnetic about you that he doesn’t want the conversation to end so soon. But with your bashfulness, he knows not to overwhelm you either, which was funny, since he never particularly thinks about that with others.

And from there, he has an inkling that you may be one of the few people he’s willing to learn more about while considering his own personality. So, while he doesn’t shy away from showing you his romantic side, and spoils you a whole lot, too, he also lets you know about his more ‘disliked’ personality. On days when you and he are more heart-to-heart with each other, he tells you about the side of him where he has to play offence to be the person that he is. He wants to be as transparent with you as possible, so you won’t catch a ‘whiplash’ with how he treats you versus how he treats others.

Whichever the cases may be, while he is persuasive, knowing that you’re one of a kind, he knows this is something he has to be patient about, and frankly, he’s more than fine with it. If you have a history of bad dating experiences, then you best believe that he’s willing to show you just how much you mean to him, and hopefully, vice versa. Graves isn’t one to think about a committed relationship, mostly because he never found one and with his line of work, it’s a lot to think about, but he is more than willing to adapt to the new changes (and finally spoil ‘the one’) for you.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

[real-total-drama-takes]

Hot take I liked All-Stars

obviously it could’ve been WAY better but it wasn’t that bad? To me personally. I do have my complaints though

But I honestly loved the idea of both casts coming together for one season and then like having a heros vs villains like

But half the characters were so ooc and most of them were like, dumbed down?? (Especially Zoey)

Like how did it not click in her brain sooner that Mike could’ve been Mal most of the time. I mean DUNCAN EVEN TOLD HER and she didn’t realize till the last few episodes. Like yeah , it might throw you off that he still seems nice but if you opened your eyes a bit more you would be able to see that he keeps sabotaging challenges (and Mike wouldn’t do that, so that means he’s not Mike)

Speaking of Mal, I like him as a concept. I like the idea of Mike having this really tough villainy side to him like idk I like it. But how Mal was written/executed was so bad

My man went to JUVIE I should be able to take him seriously but I didn’t a single time. He was funny to me I LAUGHED AT HIM

Unless Mike did something horrible on accident and got sent to Juvie and Mal was created to help him during this time, I’m gonna assume that he was made before that, and Mal did something bad. He should’ve done something actually threatening to the cast and challenges. Like what all he did was break some stuff and sabotaged challenges. Anyone could’ve done that. I’m pretty sure others have done worse.

Now moving onto Duncan, he tried WAY to hard to be bad. Like, ik you don’t like being seen as softie goody two shoes but like, Cmon man

Do y’all remember when he went and found DJ a new bunny because the other one got eaten or something. Duncan was nice!! He did it because he cared! It didn’t happen on accident! He didn’t want everyone to know that though and that’s okay dude, but I feel like just being nice on accident and then getting upset was really stupid. It just wasn’t Duncan

Though S1 Duncan would definitely blow up Chris’s cottage/Mansion

I do like the idea of Duncan and Mal meeting in juvie though eheh

Okay now scottney! It was cute! It should’ve lasted longer than one episode. Like I’m not sure s1 Courtney would let Cameron kissing her slide. There was potential in scottney and I would’ve loved to see more of it (and this is coming from a Duncney shipper)

Alejandro walking on his hands was silly but it didn’t bother me

And the Gwen and Courtney friendship was nice! Wish it wasn’t ruined by some stupid chart. I’m not sure if s1 Courtney would do that or not but I feel like it came up randomly and then it destroyed all her relationships in 5 seconds

Also apparently Courtney was supposed to be in the finale? Uh yes I would’ve liked to see that

Uhm yeah but I liked the gen 1 and gen 2 characters interacting

But yeah this is all I have to say for now

If you read all this ily <3

I needed to voice my opinions bc my little sister just finished all stars and when I said “I liked it but it could’ve been better” she got confused and didn’t understand me 😭

[handsinterlaced]

hi this is gonna be my niall experience as I just need to get it out and I’m sure irls are SICK of me talking abt it <3 pls enjoy or ignore up to u

proof being delusional works!

june 27: I fly my ass out to toronto!!! and at this point I’m just giggling w a friend joking around what if I meet Niall

june 28: today is niall’s 1st show in Toronto hehe

I was eating lunch at a random restaurant I stopped by on queen st and I was soooo excited / nervous I couldn’t eat! basically forcing myself to eat so I don’t die at the concert fjdjskks but yeah after like half an hour of picking my food I start to feel unsettled.. and a lil bit uneasy! idk it was suchhhhh a weird feeling but u always gotta listen to ur gut!!

U GOTTA LISTEN TO UR GUT!!

DONT IGNORE IT

it was sooo strange like at that moment I knew I had to leave the restaurant RIGHT NOW and so I did! I was like half an hour walk away from my air bnb so I’m like that’s fine I’ll just walk back & still have plenty of time before the show to get ready and stuff! there were so many different ways to walk back. I could’ve crossed the street earlier or turned the corner sooner but the path I chose led me right to Niall 😭😭 I wasn’t even looking for him!!! but I was waiting for the crosswalk… look up and who do I see? NIALL FUCKING HORAN RIGHT THERE

- ngl tho niall in a cap and sunglasses is such a great disguise FJKSKAKA I would not have recognized him if tour manager wasn’t with him! shoutout to jstir (I met him when I was like 13 when he was working for Cody simpson and taking everyone’s m&g photos fjdjskks that man’s face is engraved in my mind so I was able to recognize him pretty quick!) like who knew my 13 year old phase would come back 10 years later and help me out !!!

anyways so Niall is across the street and I’m just fighting w myself debating if I should go up to him or not 😭😭 the saying never meet ur heroes is kinda true JDKDKAKA it changes u & all the expectations u have! Ultimately I figured that this was my 1 chance to say something so I just went for it. If I didn’t I’d probably regret it for the rest of my life!

I just know my voice was shaky and I was super nervous but niall was so sweet and patient <3 like I felt so bad just going up to him 😭😭 hes just out and about… trying to be incognito & enjoy some free time FJSKKA like I am quite aware but when else could this happen u feel 🥲 anyways here is the convo from what I remember bc I blacked out (as u do when u meet ur fave)

me: hi Niall!! just wanted to say hi and let you know how excited I am to see you perform tonight and tomorrow <3

niall: hi how are you! oh you’re going to both shows? is that right? we’re actually headed to the venue now

me: oh! If that’s the case I don’t wanna keep you guys. Would it be alright if we took a photo?

niall: yes of course!

the photos (cropped myself out bc Toronto humidity is my enemy & I was a sweaty mess from walking back to the air bnb)

and then I just say thank u so much! see u at the show hahaha and SPRINT OFFFFJFKSKAK like I ran so fast bc I needed to get away and scream 😭😭

mind u I be carrying my leftovers the entire time JFKSKAK SO FUNNY

I DIDNT EVEN INTRODUCE MYSELF! WISH I TOLD HIM I FLEW MY ASS OUT! THAT HE NEEDS TO TOUR MORE CITIES IN CANADA! TO PUT NEW ANGEL ON THE SETLIST!! so much I wish I said but again thankful they were on the way to the venue so I was forced to keep it short so I didn’t continue to yap and embarrass myself further. it could’ve been so much worse! just gotta remind myself that.

sat in the air bnb for like 2 hours in silence trying to process what happened fjdjskks would’ve been longer but I had to get to the show! anyways I was like 15 rows back on the floor and had the best time <3

june 29: Toronto night 2!!!

I’m sat 2nd row floor… right next to the barricade and I’m so close I know that niall can see me 😭😭😭 idk if it’s the delusion but I keep making eye contact with niall and he keeps looking at me! probs thinking oh is it that weirdo from the street yesterday 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAO but U TELL ME!! IS IT DELUSION BC I THINK I GOT PROOF RIGHT HERE

felt too perceived by him tbh JDKKA needed to run and hide! like eye contact was crazy djdjjsjs

OKAY THAT IS ALL FOR NOW I THINK! if u made it this far I am so amazed ty for reading the rambles <3

[magicmindless]

have any hcs for Emmlette?

Y’all I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve made one of these😭😭 mainly due to (lack of) interest in making these and other sorts of things

Anyways

A HC List but it’s just Emmlette

I really like her… theatre kid chicken lady…

- Very cheerful and sweet but is down-to-Earth. Being a transparent person, she can come off as a bit snarky sometimes but she only means well. She’s a gem to have around and usually tries her best to make people feel comfortable around her

- Has ADHD. It’s hard for her to focus and stay in one place, her thoughts overlap a lot, and she can be forgetful sometimes. She wasn’t diagnosed until her 20s. She uses medicine now to deal with it which helps her enough

- Developed depression for a good portion of her teenage hood and college years. She hated school and needed accommodations to barley keep her grades up but. Undiagnosed ADHD didn’t make it any easier

- Unsurprisingly she’s a theatre kid. It was one of the few classes she was good at and she always made sure to audition for every single musical/play Sakura Bay High ever did during her high school years (yes she went to Sakura Bay High and became a teacher there. Funny huh?)

- Her favorite musical is Into The Woods and she has a fond memory of it because she got to be the witch back in high school (I’m sorry I haven’t watched enough musicals and most of the ones I’ve watched idk if she’d like bear with me-)

- She used to write songs and play them on her piano as an outlet, even going as far as to record them though she’s never really shown them. She still has the recordings and admits that they’re really cringy looking back at

- Should be mentioned she’s actually really good at singing and playing the piano

- Her nails always look bad since she tends to bite or rip her nails whenever she’s bored or stressed out. Vicky nearly fainted seeing her nails for the first time

- The reason she became a theatre teacher was due to not only her having a lack on confidence in herself to make it big as an actress back then, but no one else at the time believed in her either, so she settled for teaching. She does sometimes wonder what could’ve been though…

- She does like teaching and has met some incredible students who’ve gone off to do great things, but teaching can also stress her out whether it’s from misbehaving students, or those who just have no interest and are taking theatre as only an “easy grade” in their eyes

- She’s not only a good support for her students, but also for her adult friends when they need someone to talk to or provide a shoulder to cry on

- Always had a bit of a chicken obsession. She had a neighbor who had chickens when she was little and she’d frequently go to their place to spend time with them. Now she has 4 of her own chickens named Scrambles, Tamagoyaki, Sunny, and Fluffles

- People think it’s weird that she doesn’t like to eat chicken out of guilt but is willing to eat eggs and other meat. It’s just an attachment thing for her

- Likes giving gifts to people randomly. Usually they are edible things like mochi or bread from a bakery but she also gives things like cute little keychains

- A great cook. She likes making cute bentos and stuff like that and has even cooked for her friends and family

- She’ll act like a mom sometimes trying to make sure her friends are eating enough and doing well. Some of her friends (like Petrona and Rollie) have found it irritating but they will sometimes tolerate it

- Is able to cry and stop crying on command. It’s a little disturbing, but helpful in acting

- Is the type of extrovert to adopt introverts, including Petrona

-She can read people’s faces and body language scarily well. Even if someone stands slightly off she can tell if there’s something wrong or bothering someone

- Keeps a bit of a close eye on Petrona since she always worries about her physical and emotional health due to her work ethic. She’ll usually try to do things like get food for Petrona’s lunch break or talk to her a bit if she suspects Petrona’s been crying/having a rough day. And despite Petrona’s annoyances, she seemed to have warmed up to her overtime

[literaphobe]

YES MAKE THAT BOY A SMOKING ADDICT . After Nathalie leaves with her now wife to London and decides to leave him on his own ( it makes sense ! ) he doesn’t feel right about keeping all the money because it’s dirty money to him so he donates most of it to several charities ( and some people would think he’s stupid for doing so but ..the trauma ) and he has just enough to buy a little apartment and he has to find a job to make it through the week ( he almost went homeless at some point ) and his hair has grown longer and it fits him and he’s so stressed he just needs some cigarettes you know ! A lot of his money goes to Plagg’s camembert because he feels bad about starving him with plain old cheese and the rent is though . He’s still traumatized from the death of his two abusive parents ( amongst other things ) and he wishes he could’ve been more loved and now he never will because they’re dead :(

Anyways he has his friends and things changed after all the lies and stuff but he still loves them very much and they grow closer somehow and Mari and my son get back together eventually ( it won’t be until they’re on the last year of high school- SPECIFICALLY)

Yeah I got a whole scenario from that

ok u know what if Natalie left him after ALL THAT i do think his life would get fucked up 😭😭 idt she would but hey stranger things have happened. idk if he would wind up homeless tho bc his friends are too loving and generous to keep that from happening. unless like. he insisted on it. but also it’d be dangerous bc he’s a celebrity. i do agree that he would try and give as much of his money away. i feel like marinette and nino would be desperately trying to open their homes to adrien if he had no form of accommodation, or if he had to live ALONE i swear nino would get his family to adopt adrien somehow. btw why have we never seen nino’s house. where are nino’s parents. why do i know who mylene’s dad is and know her fucking mom abandoned her but I don’t know who the fuck ninos parents are. it’s not just me fforgoeting right. this is canon information we lack? where does he live. is he rich? is his family working class? do they live in a tree house? why don’t I know these things. why don’t we know more about nino. god fucking damn it sorry to derail but Jesus Christ who is that boy. who made him

[tbyfandoms]

Just finished season 3 of OBX and WOW!

Spoilers under the cut, let’s discuss!

Ok so first off, idk if this was my favorite season ever but it was still a good one!

My thoughts are kinda all over the place so I’m just gonna dive in and ya’ll can do with it what you will LMAO

So first and foremost I’m lowkey pissed about Rafe melting the cross. The Pogues went through all of that just for it to get turned to nothing essentially. In the end they still get credit for everything and what not, but for history to just get put down the drain essentially was…interesting!

Ok a major one, jjiara shippers please don’t come for me!!! Like I said in a previous post, I wanted them together in season one but after s2 I didn’t want it to happen anymore, things felt different and I saw them better off as friends. I feel like the whole “buildup” of them this season was lackluster and that there wasn’t a ton of chemistry between madison and rudy like I saw in s1. This obviously could be because of all the crazy stuff that went down over the last few years with them because of shipping, but even still this decision to have kie and jj together just felt so forced, I did not like the kiss or the fact it happened in front of all those girls like 💀

Can we talk about that too like kie’s parents fr just shipped her off to some camp??? I was ACTUALLY surprised by that. We all obviously knew they wanted to send her to boarding school but that was fr like jail without actually being in jail. I know her parents just wanted what was “best” for her but they could’ve handled that better lmao

Now let’s talk ward! Honestly they just used his character this season to farm sympathy I feel. I really enjoyed everyone’s reflection scenes and how it was affecting actions this season, but I was so unsure how to feel about ward specifically, this season. I didn’t know if any of his intentions were pure or if it was all just some scheme like usual. In the end we all saw he sacrificed himself to save sarah, but I would’ve liked to see some ACTUAL growth for his character and see him seriously try to do better. I guess in the end people can say he got his karma, but it felt kind of outta nowhere if that makes sense? Idk

Speaking of dads, we loved to see the john b and big john reuinion!!! The church bells thing had me SOBBING like that was good. There were some moments where I was like ehhh when it came to big john just because of how seriously treasure hungry he was, but it made sense for his character. What I really wanna touch on though is how he just dies! John b just got his dad back, they all go on this crazy adventure, and then his dad dies as soon as they find the treasure essentially. Now john b and sarah are fr back to having no parents and I felt bad for them

Ok I’m on my last couple thoughts. Let’s discuss rafe and topper because JESUS they both need therapy immediately. I always have a little part of me that feels for topper but after this season that’s DONE. Mans fr tried to commit murder and he’s an ACTUAL arsonist, like what was that??? 😭 And you’re telling me that nothing happens to him after all that? I know no one can prove it was him but c’mon. And rafe is just GONE in my opinion, in all seriousness I feel like he really needs therapy and to get help because you can tell he struggles with a lot and now that ward’s actually dead I’m interested to see how rafe is gonna handle everything and what’s gonna happen to the cameron family as a whole honestly

(Little quick thought including rafe! I’m adding this in after I’ve posted bc of course I forgot LMAO but when rafe and kie are locked in that room and it was just that one bed, I can’t even tell ya’ll how many fanfic ideas were swimming around in my head DKSJSJ I don’t even like kie and rafe together, I don’t even write or read rafe fics, but YA’LL!!! It was giving enemies to lovers, one bed, forced proximity, it was just GIVING! That is all, I’m sorry 👀)

My thoughts on the finale! Love that they found el dorado, that was HUGE! Typical for it to get blown up and they were only able to get a few pieces of gold out, that’s honestly what always happens in treasure media LOL! But overall that was amazing and I’m glad that whole story came to a head and it was essentially “finished”. In that same premise though, I feel like that honestly could’ve been the end of OBX. Every single season was about the tanny treasure and now that’s over, they figured it all out and discovered everything they could. They introduce blackbeard’s treasure in the end but honestly I think it’s just because netflix wants to keep the show going since it’s such a hit. They could’ve done an extra episode or two of this season, explained some things more, slowed down the story, talked more about what happens in those 18 months/all the pogue’s future plans, and then had that be the end. I’m glad it’s not though don’t get me wrong! But the story is wrapped up imo. I’m still excited for s4 though and for more treasure hunts!

Ok I think that’s everything. I know this is all over the place and I probably have so much more to say that I’m not thinking of rn, but this is all getting typed as I JUST finished the show, so I’m sure any other thoughts or clarifications I have will come later!

If ya’ll wanna talk about anything, leave a comment or pop me an ask in my inbox! Make sure to state early on if there’s spoilers included though for those who haven’t watched yet!

Overall, still love this show w/my whole heart and I’m decently happy with how things are turning out. I know there will be a lot more growth and developments next season so I can’t wait <3

[lqfiles]

so…. the friends lowkey shipping it… just like us 😋🤞🏼

but no i am excited for what you have planned like feed us 👹 and im so excited to see the progress, the pacing, THE ANGST? you’re so talented (ily 🫶🏼🫶🏼)

and love and deep space is like… IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but i love interacting with the characters there. so good. i encourage you to like see videos of it bc i paused it to read your story 😭

and yes!! i know how to write smau’s. but it was more like doing it without the social media app yk what i mean? like I wrote it on wattpad and so i had to type down everything 😭 but that was years ago. you just brought back the inspiration to do it so thank you for that 🥹🫶🏼 (you’ll get a huge mention if i do it)

also i read that stg was more with going with the flow, like you didn’t have the plot fully written down (I think it was that) but i get that so much 😭😭 like i just go with the flow and hope it fits with the story because i can’t stay consistent with knowing where the story is going so i just… hope it goes well :)

BUT THANKS FOR THE UPDATE!! IT GETS BETTER AND BETTER!!!

(also i hope you’re taking care of yourself!! how are you doing? any new things happening in your life?)

- 🫧

(bella is currently listening to one direction with me and omg I couldn’t sleep last night because of her bc i was sleeping on a huge bed and guess where she decides to sleep? in the middle of the bed with her legs up… I WAS PUSHED OFF!)

(also, someone in a store i went compared me and her to the characters from jjk (suguru and satoru) because i have my hair back in a little bun with my bangs in the front, wearing baggy jeans, and bella’s fur is white and her lashes are too 😭😭 like… thank you? IDK I WAS SO AWKWARD WITH THAT COMPLIMENT IM JUST LIKE 🧍🏻‍♀️with my chips in one hand and the leash in another)

(but yeah hope you liked the updates! & AGAIN HAVE A SMOOCH BC YOURE DOING GREAT 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼)

rei and jaemin biggest ynhyuck shippers fr fr!!! and BROOOOO WE BOTH HAD THE WATTPAD SMAU EXPERIENCE i loved writing those on wp, i remember i had a chatroom fic on there and i was having a blast, i never even knew this realm of smaus existed all i knew was written form lolll but i will be seated if you do start writing smaus!!

even with ptp rn i’m literally just going w the flow w most of the tweets like i’ll sit down and i’m like “okay.. i only got 5 ss now, i’m gonna have to make some filler tweets” and just add random lore into it lmaoooo, it such a bad habit because it makes the story less consistent and on track which is what i felt was something that lacked in stg like there were so many little things i could’ve expanded on but didn’t because i litch wrote it impulsively 💀 WE NEED TO DO BETTER!!!

omg a little lore on me, idk if your or anyone remembers me mentioning it but i used to always mention how that ynle fight portion in stg resonated a lot w me because i got cut off by a friend over her bf, anyways that friend reached out to me and my other friend again and idk how to feel like i thought i’d be excited but unfortunately i’m not..? its weird, like i’m not holding any grudge against her because unlike my friend and her, we ended on civil terms, still, i was hoping she would reach out and rekindle w me all this time and now that it happened i just feel :/ about it… THATS ENOUGH LQFILES LORE FOR THE DAY

any little update on bella makes me laugh i refuse to believe she’s not some type of skinwalker human like why is she sassy.. 😭😭😭 SOMEONE COMPARING YOU TWO TWO SATOSUGUDHSKDJDK OMG 😭😭😭 you just never have a normal day omg

[yvngbebe]

So I did something kind of crazy (I normally would never but I’m so fed up!) I messaged a girl about her boyfriend cheating from a fake a account I made on Instagram....I would have texted her but she blocked me from the last time I told her everything and didn’t want to message her from my own account. Anyway, I was kind of mean about it. I was calling her a pick me, dumb crazy bitch and how even if I sent proof she wouldn’t do anything about it. She in turn called me crazy, said it was a fake account (I know it was clear it was a fake account with little followers and following my point was to just express what needed to be said...) called me obsessed and have no life. Since then, (her boyfriend who stalks my page everyday for months I see on tiktok profile views has stopped, stopped liking my pictures which he always would on my story...) and I’m wondering does he/she know it was me that made the fake account? He also deleted his Instagram, is following a lot of girls on tiktok...and she changed her profile picture that was of both her and him to just a selfie of her...I feel bad I did that but at the same time I already told her everything before, she didn’t do anything about it (I sent her SO many screenshots and talked on the phone with her...and didn’t know about him having a gf before..) so I’m really just mad and think this situation is ridiculous especially when she said he’s cheated on her other times too so why’s she still asking for proof and like I said not doing anything about it.... ?I just find it odd too he was talking to me weekly asking to see me now nothing but he’s following other girls and deletes his Instagram? What do you think?

I mean I wasn’t nice at all...I’m just fed up maybe I should feel bad? But idk what it’ll take for her to understand or feel embarrassed ? This is how the conversation went “Lol ohh girly you know Armany’s been cheating on you? Dumb pick me it’s embarrassing and sad. No backbone 🤭😂 “ and she goes “Proof? No? Alright then. Find something better to do with your life” and I was like “Hahaha cause u need proof😂” and she goes “Yes definitely do You think I’m gonna listen to you? Funny” and I was like “then you’ll do what...😂” and she goes “You really have a waste of a life making a fake account to reach out to a someone you don’t even know. I guess you’re the pathetic one. You’re an obsessed dumb bitch and the sad part is you’re gonna get nothing out of this. So enjoy your worthless life” and I was like “hahaha who’s the crazy bitch? Yeah...you won’t do shit” and she goes “Yeah I won’t do shit because you’re nothing Not gonna waste my time on nothing” and I was like “yeah ok😂”

whew chile 😭

i think telling her once was enough because if she wants to stay with a cheating mf then i guess that’s her business and on her. like yeah she might be dumb for doing it but she’ll leave when she’s ready type shit. also i don’t understand why you would want to keep tabs on a man that’s not your man, especially a cheating ass one. if he stopped giving you attention then good because if he’s in a relationship, he shouldn’t be doing that anyway. and if she appears to be single, good for her because clearly she deserves better. i think what you did is like “good evil” in the sense that you might’ve helped someone get out of a disingenuous relationship but at the same time, you could’ve went about things differently or maybe not have involved yourself again at all. stay blessed and out the mix 🤍

[ham-st4r]

bby pls it’s a crime to put “trash” and any of ur fics in the same sentence 😞💗 i finally had time to read it andddd ‼️‼️ honest feelings it was intriguing and omg i felt so bad for yn cuz hee own family was the one hurting her the most her mom was a poor excuse of a human. a waste of resources in the world 👹 and like wtf how could u look at hee and be like “meh imma js use him and then leave” I WOULD SLAP MYSELF OKAY? like what’s wrong with the mom 🫥

the whoep storyline was like soooo good aaaaaa they things they did behind the mom’s heehhehehe so hot. but when hee “broke it off” omgg my heart broke for them. not them both hiding the fact that they were hurting sigh the angst hit hard BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT AMOUNT CUZ WE GOT TO SEE JEALOUS STEPDADDY HEE AHAHAHHA he’s so possessive i love like imagine being called “my princess” “my girl” and he fucking claimed her pussy and her whole being essentially ‼️ (toxic behavior for irl men but it’s hee soooo we can turn a blind eye heheheh) and i loveeee how u made yn pretend like that disgusting bully was actually her bf js to make hee jealous ehehehhehhe they’re so silly i love them

however…there were some parts i feel like u could’ve elaborated or written more? BUT THATS JS CUZ I WANT TO READ MORE OF UR AMAZING WRITING 😣🫶🏻

oh and also one last thing (sorry) when hee said he had cameras all over the house so that they have evidence of the abuse and stuff 👀 so…he basically also has footage of yn and him fucking…all over the house…in all sorts of positions 👀 AAAAAAAA I SQUEALED IDEK IF THATS TRUE BUT IF IT IS IDK THATS KINDA HOT

Ok i’m done for now i js wanted to express how much i liked it 😞🫶🏻‼️💗

ily muah pls take care of urself 💞

Why do I lowkey like the mom tho? Lmao 😂 I mean she’s a bitch of course but the way she treated hee was like ?? I think I went overboard 😭 especially with the whole “you’re not her real dad” her to toxicity was off the charts

But then hee is kinda stupid for staying with her for so long but the poor man was so in love and just wanted his little family to stay together even if she was treating him like less than trash and giving him zero attention 😞

And same I had to take out so many parts cause the dots just weren’t connecting I still think I could have done a bit more of a backstory but by the time I tried I was too far into the story so I just had to go with it and do the best I could

The first sex scene was so so different from the initial one but I think the one I used was better

That being said though y/n has been through the mud ☹️ and the part where hee broke things off that’s what I wanted to go into more detail about but i couldn’t word it better to save my life (real) and I still can’t even describe it 😐

But overall I’m glad everyone seemed to enjoy it I’m just a little bit disappointed with this one 🫤

Thanks for the feedback I really do appreciate it you’re one of a kind 💙 hope you have a good day today!!!!

Btw yes them fucking is on camera too 🫣

[byuqi]

hi love 💕 SO IK I SAID SCHOOL ENDED BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL CAUSE OH MY GOD IT WAS LIKE REALLY UNEXPECTED! okay theres kinda a lot so just be ready and idk if everything makes sense 😭

so I like this guy who imma call tiger (thats his codename 😭😭) and tiger and i have a mutual friend who imma call (A) and (A) was dating this girl named (H) but the thing is that (A) didnt really like (H) in the first place but still they dated for like 4 months until someone made up a rumor about (A) cheating on (H) EVEN THO HE DIDNT⁉️⁉️ but anyway (H) broke up with (A) but (A) didnt really care since he never really liked (H) in the first place and only dated her because he felt bad cause she had gotten rejected before

so then like a day or two after they had broken up im sitting down on a bench outside and (A) comes up to me and is like “you have competition for tiger, you see that girl over there?” and he points at (H) and i was just like “wait what? didnt you guys just break up?” and he was like “yeah but someone i know is trying to set up tiger and (H)” because earlier in the year tiger had a girlfriend (who didnt go to our school) but they were toxic and like always on and off so he broke up with her

but anyway fast forward to lunch i walked out of class to go to the courtyard because thats where me and my friends meet up so i went to our specific bench because we always sit there while waiting for everyone before we move spots to where we actually eat (ik its weird) BUT YK WHAT I SEE WHEN I GET TO THE BENCH?? TIGER AND (H) WERE SITTING THERE TOGETHER. AT MY SPOT. LIKE REALLY?? I WAS PISSED CAUSE THEY COULD’VE GONE ANYWHERE ELSE BUT NO THEY DECIDED TO COME TO MY SPOT WHERE THEY KNEW I WAS GONNA BE?? oh yeah tiger knows i like him cause he found out at the very beginning of like september

okay anyway when my friends get to the bench they see tiger and (H) and they are all just like “wtf?” because they’re like all kinda friends with (H) and stuff so like for 15 minutes while we’re waiting for everyone else to show up tiger and (H) are just sitting there AT OUR FUCKING BENCH 😭

okay so now skip to when we move spots so we can eat tiger and (H) also get up and move to a different spot bc all the couples go there and like where all the couples go is right across from our eating spot 😭 okay so anyway (wow i say okay a lot) like all of my friends notice im kinda down bc the guy i like is literally across from us with his arm wrapped around some random girl and they’re all like “bambi are you alright?” LIKE DO YOU THINK I’D BE ALRIGHT? I MEAN IK YOU’RE TRYING TO HELP BUT DO YOU RLLY THINK I’D BE ALRIGHT AFTER WATCHING THE GUY I’VE LIKED FOR MONTHS BEING ALL TOUCHY TOUCHY W SOME GIRL 😭

also the reason why it was rlly unexpected is because tiger and (H) have literally never interacted until that day and they had literally no classes together AT ALL. and then theres me who had all my classes with him 🧍

OKAY BUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER LUNCH WAS CRAZY BECAUSE SO I HAVE THIS FRIEND (C) WHO IS FRIENDS WITH TIGERS OLDER SISTER AND (C) TOLD ME THAT TIGERS SISTER DOESNT LIKE (H) AND THAT SHE’D HONESTLY PREFER ME WITH TIGER RATHER THAN TIGER WITH (H) BECAUSE IM NICER AND WE’D JUST LOOK BETTER TOGETHER 😭😭 im actually going crazy how did i get the sisters approval 😭

okay but you wanna know like the really crazy part? tiger doesnt like me, BUT A BUNCH OF HIS FRIENDS HAVE HAD A THING FOR ME 😀😀 like his friend JJ is always touchy with me like he hugs me and wraps his arm around my shoulder 😭 i honestly cant tell if hes tryna make tiger jealous or not 🧍and then his other friend (E) has had a crush on me since last year and even asked for my number, and their other friend (Y) gave me chocolates on valentines day 😭 i honestly feel rlly bad tho cause like i’ve kinda just left them all hanging because im so caught up on tiger 😭

BUT THE THING IS TIGER ISNT EVEN ALL THAT AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I LIKE HIM ATP AND I DONT EVEN WANT TO LIKE HIM ANYMORE 😭😭 why must feelings be feelings 😞😞

anyway thats all! also i LOVE blinded by love it’s literally so good 😭🫶🫶

-🦌♡

HEY BAMBI DEAR!! im sorry for only responding now😣😣😣been a bit busy this weekend!! I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD WEEKEND!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

NGL READING ALL OF THAT DID MAKE SENSE CUS WHAT THE FUCK???????? thats so messed up😭😭😭i hope tiger knows he lost a bad bitch fr🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽ALSO I HATE THAT😭😭like when you date someone or say yes to going on a date with someone cus you feel bad 😭its so easy to lead them on with that yk?? i also understand their perspective on the situation. SITTING AT YOUR SPOT TOO??? thats def some sorta plan they have going on CUS LIKE???????? theres no way thats a coincidence 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣no but actually wtf, wasn’t H like in love with A or some shit too?????? but no i would also be angry cus?????????????????

THE SIBLINGS APPROVAL ALWAYS EATS I SWEAR😭😭😭like theres this guy ik and my brother’s girlfriend is friends with him,, now he has a younger brother who i lowk like and he thinks me n him would be like perfect. 😭and im like KSNCISLFJDJ????? im not complaining 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️STOP PLS DO THAT TIKTOK “who was there for you after we stopped talking?” “YOUR FRIEND” I SWEAR ILL LAUGH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭cus literally, but his friends are goated to like you frfr as they SHOULDDDDD.

no bc mid guys >>>>>> i forever stand by that,, OR EVEN UGLY HOT GUYS🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭idk like something about them fr😣😣😣

THANK YOU SM FOR ENJOYING BLINDED BY LOVE🥹❤️😘😘😘😘ily bambi!! stay safe :))

[velvetyshu]

ouuu yayyy! im excited for your vacation, even though it isn't mine 😭 honestly idk why i was operating under the assumption that everyone was on vacation the same time as me,,,

ok but lucky for you i know little to nothing about roblox so im in no position to judge 😶 also you cosplayed columbina??? that sounds so cool!!!

also if you don't mind me asking, how did both of your veins burst?? 😭 that lowkey sound painful...please make sure to rest adequately!

and yes, i am alright, just a bit busy because christmas is right around the corner! how are you, besides the usual? are you doing anything particularly exciting? i know you said you've been writing,,,and trust me, im very, very excited for the day when you finally post 👀

also!!! i have a discord but i haven't touched that in months 😭 the people on there got a little too creepy so i sort of deleted all my contacts...but i know you said you had it so if you're willing, you can give me your username and i can text you there (or vice versa) if you're willing!

It’s not that special really.. it’s just 2 weeks even though I wish I could’ve gotten more. More importantly I still have to study and take notes during break since our history teacher left it for us. Not what I wanted 😭

Cw needles, blood

Last week on Wednesday I went to a hospital clinic since I was having pain in the lower part of my stomach, so they had to run some tests. One of those tests was about draining my blood to see if everything was okay, but the nurses couldn’t find my veins at all so they tried using the needle twice. Even though they managed to locate one by touching my arm, as soon as they put the needle, It was a very painful experience so I had a bad feeling about it. The next day, both of my arms had veins so visible and purple that it hurt a lot- only then to realize that my veins popped and were internally bleeding inside 💀 still in current recovery but all I can do is apply fucking ointment. Trust me I’m scared because this can affect me but there isn’t much I can do.

Im okay I guess, just going through a lot of things currently. My week’s been packed with assignments and final exams, my mental health on the line, etc. I’m not really excited of Christmas due to bad experiences but hopefully I get to be in my room, and get the rest that I need. And thank you! I hope I don’t disappoint you when I release the final products.

That’s understandable! You don’t have to friend me if you don’t want to, since I know there are a lot of people who can either be fake or a total pain in the ass. Like being weird- I mean. But if you’re completely fine with it, my username is Shu.#2413! Don’t forget to add the period after shu. I’ll be sure to accept your request when you are done. That way we can talk more whenever you please!

[runninguplenorahills]

Omg, my microwave is so loud for no fucking reason 💀 absolutely Hate using it at night! So I can definitely relate. Chocolate sounds great though haha. What kind of chocolate is it?👀

Overthinking is a real pain in the ass like!?!?!? Why does my brain do that😭

Oh and omg not getting the grades you need is literally The worst! I was in my second semester of eleventh grade during a covid lockdown and my grades just went down hill which was so so so bad because eleventh grade and twelfth grade are like the only grades that actually matter for graduation. And I needed good grades but I just sucked so bad at doing everything alone at home, especially because the teachers just did not account for the people who got No help at home at all lmao. Typical. I almost failed geography and art class that year lmao. I didn’t but the bad grades in those subjects really made my overall grade at the end worse than it could’ve been.

So I feel with you friend and I really hope your other friend gets into sixth form! Manifesting it now🕯️🪷🧘🏻💎🕯️

I also hope you’ll still be able to see each other even if they don’t get in!!🩷

Listen, the art thing? Idk how I’m doing it either lmaooo😭. I just get possessed by an art spirit 🤸🎨

here’s an ask. hiiii heyyy how are you :3

Hiiiiiii🪷

I’m doing good :))) how are you?💗

[ashes-in-a-meadow]

okay so this is gonna have SPOILERS so yeah don’t read if you don’t want them also warning that this is lowkey long sorry abt that i just typed whatever came to mind🤷🏽

.

.

.

okay so now that i’ve had a minute(and smoked some weed) i want to talk about lestat and what just clicked to me as the weed hit

okay so to start i want to make sure this is not read as apologizing or excusing what lestat did, i am simply explaining how i interpreted why he did what he did because this is not the time for lestat apologists to “uwu my baby didn’t mean it” this shit and if y’all do y’all weird asl…anyways on to my analysis(is that what this is??)

so my friend has said before she’s a very emotional person and when people hurt her feelings she’s said that she wants to physically hurt them the way they hurt her emotionally so they know how she feels and that immediately came to me as i was smoking and thought about how far lestat went when he was beating louis

to me it came off as, like my friend has said, he saw louis choosing claudia over him and then he desperately screams “louis!” and he lashed out on claudia for trying to take louis away, but then louis jumped on him and i think if we could’ve seen his face when it happened it would’ve been one of surprise and hurt that louis would do that right??

okay, so then he’s telling louis that he’s trying to hold back, but then he gives in and beats the shit out of him and idk it just came to as he was trying to hurt louis as much as he physically could to make louis feel like he felt emotionally

then when they flew up and lestat told louis to tell him that he’ll never love him and said that it would “make it easier”, he’s so used to people leaving him that he believes louis doesn’t love him and wants to hear it from his mouth so that he can “let him go” now do i think he would’ve actually killed louis?? nah, that man is down bad for louis, but do i think he would’ve let louis die?? yeah🤷🏽 he was so hurt and distraught that he would lose louis to claudia that he probably would’ve let it happen and then felt guilty about it later

also for everyone who thinks he doesn’t, louis does love lestat it’s fucking obvious but they don’t love the same way and that’s where the problem comes from between them, lestat fell in love with louis as soon as he met him but louis had been still learning to love lestat when claudia left and it doesn’t make it any better that they’re horrible at communicating their feelings with each other, louis doesn’t like being vulnerable and neither does lestat and they show it differently

louis will let himself get consumed by whatever is troubling him and lestat will try to do anything to ignore his problems, so basically a match made in hell cause they’re never going to learn how to love each other the right way if they don’t let themselves be vulnerable

also want to touch upon him and antoinette cause🤦🏽that mf never learns…i understand that he wanted sex or just non-sexual intimacy and he should’ve communicated that(ik his bitch ass would never) but cheating?? all of y’all that wanted to press “louis hooking up with jonah was worse cause he used to have feelings for him yadayadayada” can now pipe down and for the record it’s weird that y’all want to say what louis did was worse like lestat didn’t cheat on louis in his face in their house BEFORE proposing an open relationship🤦🏽 but whatever

and the trailer for the next ep?? they (i bet it was claudia tho) kicked lestat out😭😭 mf showing up with gifts😭bro ik that’s how you show you care but mf just COMMUNICATE AND APOLOGIZE PLEASE IM BEGGING THEM TO LEARN HOW TO FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER😭😭😭 *sighs* the whole ending of that ep was expected(i had got it spoiled a while ago) but at the same time it was a little more than what i was expecting but i understand the shock value part and the intention behind showing that not everything is rainbows and flowers for them(i mean it’s a vampire show where they kill people and has gore) just kinda wish that it didn’t leave me wanting someone to kill or beat the shit out of lestat😭