#still gotta bake those pies. whoops

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

Herro! It I, SleepyAnon :DDD

It is past 5am and I am really sleepy—

BUT! What if hero/villain really likes to cook and bake as a way to relax and have a lot of leftovers, so they give some to their neighbors. The neighbors being villains/heros and vigilantes and everyone doesn’t know their alter ego— (think it’ll be cute if most of them really like hero/villain and have an unspoken agreement to not mess with the block they live in)

((And idea of how they can find out is by smell or little smears of ingredients, along with behavior—))

A/N: SLEEPYANON THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE PROMPT EVER (which you’ve granted me a lot of amazing prompts and I happen to follow a lot of awesome prompt blogs but this one is such a MOOD for me) <3 In other news, I really should be baking pie but here I am, writing instead 😜

Warnings: some violence, reference to fainting (no actual fainting occurs in this fic😊), me avoiding my responsibilities, unedited

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Hero tapped their fingers patiently against their knees, leaning over themselves as they sat staring into the oven and watching their perfect pie bake. It didn’t matter that there was flour streaked in their hair or crusty pie dough caked underneath their fingers, all that mattered was the apple crumb pie baking in the oven and filling their home with a warm buttery and cinnamon scent.

Inhaling deeply, Hero sighed. They sagged against the back of the kitchen chair they sat in and leaned their head against the back of the chair.

All was quiet and still after an afternoon full of washing apples, whipping up pie dough and rolling it out, then peeling and slicing the apples, and finally putting together the pie filling. They weren’t entirely convinced there wasn’t pie dough in their hair too or spiced apple juice dried into their hair either, but they wouldn’t have it any other way.

This was heaven.

Sure, they were sore from being on their feet all day and from struggling to roll out the pie dough and getting it sit just right on their pie plate and delicately crimping the edges, but it was worth it.

And it would be all the more worth their while when it was done and cooled enough to bring to their new neighbor to say “welcome to your new home!”

After all, Hero knew just how awful the city could be and how quickly a good day could turn rotten. That, and moving was such a headache. Hero certainly wouldn’t have minded if someone had brought them a pie when they’d moved into the row of brick townhomes.

As it was, the few times their neighbors had tried to reciprocate the small acts of kindness from Hero’s baking habit, hadn’t exactly gone over well. If Hero had learned anything about their neighbors, it was that none of them could bake. Some of them could cook—which was a lovely surprise when a full meal had shown up on their doorstep moments after they’d gotten home from their shift—but it seemed like they were then only one on the block capable of baking anything.

It was the thought that counted though. They’d happily accept another tray of over baked cookies (not burnt, Hero would never say that unless the whole cookie was as hard as a hockey puck) if it meant knowing that someone had thought of them just as they’d often thought of their neighbors…

Hero laughed to themselves.

So maybe their baking wasn’t that righteous. In truth, all they cared about baking and getting their mind off of their work and whatever troubles had crossed their mind thanks to the meddlesome actions of whatever villain they’d fought. Too often, Hero would bake a whole batch of cookies or cupcakes and realize they couldn’t possibly eat them all by themselves. They couldn’t even save everything in the freezer (they really should try to work on their stash of previously baked goods to make room for new desserts or at least some ice cream but they often couldn’t wait for their pick-me-up treat to defrost).

But today, they were truly baking from the kindness of their heart and not their stress or frustrations about being one of the city’s shining saviors.

They bit their lip.

Hopefully their new neighbor liked pie.

***

Villain grabbed their mask and slipped it on. Even though it’d been a few good minutes since they’d set their fork and plate aside, they could still taste the sweetness of the apple and the warmth of the cinnamon. What they wouldn’t do for another piece, but staying home didn’t pay the bills. They didn’t know what they’d do if they missed this opportunity to rob the City Bank.

For month’s they’d surveyed the bank, its security, the employees and tellers. If they didn’t hit it today, they didn’t know when the next opportunity would come around and they couldn’t wait, not if they wanted to pay off their debt to Supervillain.

As they slipped out of their townhome, Villain wondered what their sweet, precious, innocent neighbor would do if they ever found out just who their new neighbor was.

Chuckling to themselves, Villain imagined they’d faint. They seemed like the sort of too-good-to-be-real person that somehow manifested straight out of a T.V. show or a book. There was no way their neighbor, who they’d learned from a few of the other neighbors who’d stopped by to say hello, had a habit of baking and sharing their treats with the neighborhood would survive the news of living next door to a villain.

Villain’s lips set in a grim line. They’d have to make certain their neighbor never found out, especially if they could bake a pie that delicious and habitually share their homemade baked goods.

***

Villain huffed, finally pinning their nemesis down on the lobby floor. Leaning closer, they meant to sneer in their face, but something gave them pause. Sweet apples and cinnamon? Villain sniffed again, trying to be discreet as they leaned even closer and squinted down at their nemesis. Something white streaked through their hair, along with something slightly yellow in color.

“Excuse you, creep,” Hero said, squirming and managing to flip them both over so Villain was the one pinned down to the gross bank floor. “But I’d appreciate it if you didn’t sniff me.”

Villain couldn’t even manage a glare, catching another whiff of what could only be apple pie. “Were you baking?”

Hero froze, their grip loosening just the slightest bit.

But it was enough for Villain to shove them away and jump to their feet.

“I-I don’t know what—”

“You’ve got flour in your hair!”

Hero rolled their eyes, crossing their arms. “All right so I was baking! Unless you’re about to go into anaphylactic shock, I don’t see how what I was doing before you decided to ruin my day by robbing a bank matters!”

Villain scoffed. “Yeah like some flour and crusted pie filling is going to do me in.”

Hero’s hand erupted into flame. “I never said what I was baking.”

Villain froze. Cursing silently to themselves, Villain’s eyes darted to the bag full of money they’d collected from the bank drawers and from breaking into the ATM machine they’d dropped when Hero had flung a ball of fire at them earlier to announce their presence.

“Yeah well…it’s apple season?” Villain tried in vain to lie their way out of the bind they’d wrapped themselves in. “Anyway, it’s always nice to not be burned after one of these little—”

Villain flung themselves to the floor, dodging the ball of flame Hero threw their way. Twisting around in time to see the flames die out before the fire caught on anything flammable, Villain was absolutely certain.

Hero was their new neighbor.

“How did you know I was baking pie?” Hero hissed, bouncing a ball of flame in their hand.

“Because…” Villain hesitated, searching their mind for an excuse. They saw Hero raise their arm like they were getting ready to throw that ball of flame. “IMYOURNEWNEIGHBOR!”

Villain braced themselves, shielding their face with their arms.

Nothing.

No heat hissed against their suit. There wasn’t any light flashing behind their closed eyes from flames hurtling toward them.

Villain peeked open an eye and lowered their arms. Hero stood, their body slack and without a single spark of their flames.

Well, they hadn’t fainted.

No, instead Hero was staring at them with a mix of bafflement and slight horror. “You’re what?”

“Yeah, uh, unit 6?” Villain slowly shifted toward the bag of money. “The apple crumb pie?”

“What a waste of a perfectly good pie,” Hero pouted. Sighing heavily, Hero pinned them in place with a harsh glare. “Take the money,” they said, “Pay your debt to Supervillain, and don’t ever tell a soul about any of this.”

“That’s it?” Villain sputtered. “You’re letting me go? With the money?”

“I’m hoping to buy your silence,” they explained, walking away. Embers sparked from their clenched hands. “It’d be a real shame if I had to move because you found out who I am.”

“Well I wouldn’t have,” Villain muttered, “if you’d only taken a shower when you were done baking.”

“I would’ve!” Hero shouted across the lobby, lobbing a cold ball of flame at them that tickled their face. “But someone decided to rob a bank!”

“Well, I’ll be more considerate next time,” Villain smirked, strolling toward the gaping hole in the bank wall that they’d blasted through earlier. “Especially if it means more pie in my future.”

Hero scoffed. Calling after them, Hero’s harsh made Villain chuckle. “As if.”

[seeyouspacecoyote]

Dumbass Record of Ragnarok modern A/U Whoopee: (feel free to ignore, this is just me brain dumping here)

All the fighters are stuck living together due to insane cost of living (probably in Southern California near the Bay Area but I haven't thought that part out in too much detail tbh.)

Two possible directions this can take depending on just how bad the cost of living is in whoop-de-doo fuck-ass universe #293423823423 and something: Either they all live together in one house or they're all split up into 3 different houses. The fighters from Rounds 1-4 live in one house, the fighters from Rounds 5-8 all live in another house, and the fighters from Rounds 9-13 all live in yet another house.

Absolutely none of them have a proper sense of how time works like at all.

Any house where Tesla spends any amount of time at all will randomly get a wall blown out at some random ass time when he's busy tinkering with some mechanical shit and accidentally forgets he's handling potentially explosive devices/materials.

Adam, Kojiro, Heracles, and Simo are probably the only people in the whole bunch who are actually tolerable to live with who actually spend any amount of time there.

Odin just fucking hangs himself from a tree (like he does in Norse Mythology,) and nobody ever sees him again. He's still perfectly alive, he just can't handle the bullshit of living with everyone else anymore.

Thor does almost nothing but garden, he plants tons of vegetables at a local community garden where he meets a nice woman who he befriends.

Leonidas will bitch about any inaccuracies on any History Channel show involving military history to anyone who will listen (and also those who don't care.) And don't get him started on Ancient Aliens.

Raiden will interrupt Leonidas when he's bitching about Ancient Aliens to theorize out loud about how big and fat and jiggly alien titties and ass-cheeks gotta be and goes on an unhinged hour long rant about how great it would be to get to fuck alien bitches with fat titties and fat asses.

Zeus got arrested in like 5 minutes after sexually harassing a door to door salesperson, but not before he purposely clogged all the toilets by pouring unleaded gasoline into them. Nobody's seen him since and nobody complains about it. At all.

Qin, Loki, Okita, Nostradamus, and Anubis are chronic TikTok users and use insufferable zoomer slang like constantly.

As a result, Tesla, Susanoo, Heracles, Thor, and Leonidas can barely communicate with them.

Leonidas still talks like he spent 5 day straight on Xbox Live Chat when he gets pissed off though.

Susanoo sometimes sprays Anubis with a hose like an actual dog. Nobody stops him because they either don't give a fuck or they're too scared of him to say anything.

Anubis climbs on the furniture, licks the walls, and occasionally eats dog treats like Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

Buddha takes Zero to shit like Electric Forest and Burning Man despite Zero likely not being mature enough to do that kind of shit.

Raiden steals Hajun's laptop at one point, finds out that he got "fat bitches fighting over food" on pornhub bookmarked on his computer and laughs at Hajun for it, Hajun responds by throwing a fire hydrant he stole from a random street at him.

Raiden unironically enjoys pro-wrestling.

Lu Bu, Chen Gong, the other random members of the Chinese army, Shiva, and Qin absolutely crush it in DDR.

Rasputin does nothing but post horrible edgy/racist shit on 4chan. Nobody ever sees him. Ever. He most definitely has piss bottles in his room. Heracles and Zero are terrified to even walk near there and honestly nobody blames them.

Jack bakes pies at suspicious times. Anyone who asks him what's in the pies never gets a straight answer. He always smells vaguely like cologne.

Susanoo works some horrible soul-sucking C-suite corporate job 100 hours a week and has a terrible cocaine habit so he can spend less time sleeping and work as much as possible so he can try to find someplace else to live asap. He always has bags under his eyes which he has to resort to hiding with concealer so people don't think he's some kind of deranged serial killer or something.

Susanoo may be able to hide his cocaine addiction surprisingly well, but he fails (entirely on accident,) to hide the fact that he has one of those mildly uninteresting/questionable secret NSFW daddy dom type tumblr accounts that you suspect are run by some middle aged cishet dude who has absolutely no idea what the rest of Tumblr's userbase actually uses the site for from Anubis and Okita.

Anubis and Okita roast him for it, Susanoo responds by pulling up Anubis's Sonic the Hedgehog/furry porn DeviantArt account and basically asking him "This you?" (though he talks too formally to actually say that exact phrase) and proceeds to doxx Anubis on the spot.

Anubis hisses at him and leaps out the nearest window.

Despite his best efforts to avoid reckless spending, Susanoo bought a hunting rifle and occasionally tries to shoot Anubis when he's getting on his nerves. Anubis always manages to dodge it though.

Poseidon, Hajun, and Beelzebub eat everyone's food whenever they feel like it.

Zero is usually the main target. Buddha always buys extra snacks for him though. He also takes fruit off of trees and brings it home with him for the same reason.

[carriagelamp]

Since it’s Pride Month, I decided this year I wanted to raid the library for a bunch of different queer books to read. Mostly graphic novels in this case, because I’ve had a hard time settling into much reading lately... thought hopefully now that it’s summer and I finally have my second shot I’ll be able to relax a bit more and dig into some heavier novels again. For now, enjoy some light, queer reads that I indulged in this June.

A Wolf Called Wander

A beautiful novel I had been hearing lots about. This story follows the young wolf Swift, who grows up knowing that he and his pack are the mountains, and the mountains are them. It’s in those mountains that he grows and learns and loves… until disaster strikes and he finds himself viciously torn apart from his family and forced out of the mountains that have always meant home to him. Forced to survive on his own. Swift then begins a gruelling journey that makes him face injury, starvation, and the everpresent danger of humans as he seeks a new place he can call home, and new people with whom he can form a pack.

This is all based on the true story of a tagged wolf known as OR-7, following the unbelievable route he took through Oregon and northern California! It was a very neat read, and I’d definitely recommend it if you enjoy stories told from an animal’s perspective because this book is a master class in it.

Bloom

I decided for June to try to read a handful of different queer books, and this was one of the first graphic novels I picked up. It is a super sweet story and the art is lovely. It’s about Ari, a boy who has just graduated high school and is now desperate to move away from his small town and his family’s struggling bakery, to join his band in the city where they hope to make it big. An agreement is finally reached: Ari’s father will let him leave, if he can find someone who can replace him in the bakery, which is how Ari meets Hector, someone who sees artistry and peace in baking. For anyone that’s read Check, Please, it gives off those types of vibes!

Boule et Bill: Bill est Maboul

Another book of Dupuis comics, because I can’t get enough of them! This one I just stumbled across and ended up reading on a whim but it was very cute. Geared younger than the others I’ve read, but still quite funny. It’s the charming hijinks of a young boy, his dog, and the family they live with. Each page or so is a different stand alone joke, a bit like Calvin and Hobbes except expanded beyond a single strip.

Chicken Run: Chicken Pies for the Soul

This was a ridiculous urge I got and had to follow. I recently rewatched Chicken Run (which is, of course, one of the best movies ever made) and felt the need to see if it had ever been novelized. Well, I found something better than a novelization! This is a chapter book with “advice” and stories written by the various characters, post-movie. It really does a good job with grasping the different characters’ voices and making something simple and funny out of it. It was very cute (and available on The Internet Archive if anyone else feels like reading something ridiculous!)

Doodleville

I picked this up on a whim and honestly, I shouldn’t have bothered. It was not very impressive. Very mediocre, awkward feeling artwork, and a story that only slightly manages to redeem it. The concept was kind of neat, and I did like how the ending came about, the rest was rather… plodding. I did not like the main character at all, her friends felt very Intentionally Quirky Aren’t We Cute :3 in a way that just tries too hard, and… yeah. Meh. It technically gets the “queer graphic novel flag” but it’s so in-passing that it feels rather excessive to give it that.

If you are interested, it’s about a world were doodles actually exist as living creatures that can be drawn into existence (the rather unsettling implications of which is never fully explored). This is all well and good, until the main character draws a monster and takes it with her to her art club... where it begins ravanging not only her doodles, but those of her friends. Together they need to work together to figure out how to stop this menace.

FRNCK v4

Phenomenal. I adore the FRNCK series, and book four wrapped up the first “cycle”, revealing several of the big secrets dogging the series so far, and changing how things are going to be able to run in the future.

If you haven’t seen me talk about it before, FRNCK is a graphic novel (a franco-belgian bande dessinée) about a young orphan, Franck, who’s chafing under the constant parade of uninterested foster parents that visit the orphanage he lives in. Determined to learn about his mysterious abandonment instead, he flees the orphanage… but finds himself tumbling through time, landing among a family of cave-people who rather reluctantly take him in and ensure this modern boy doesn’t die in the strange, dangerous new surroundings he finds himself in. You can get these ones in English as e-books, so if you want a really kickass graphic novel series to read please try these.

Haikyu!!

I’ve heard so much about Haikyu!! that I finally gave in and picked up the first book from the library. And I gotta say, it’s well worth the hype! This series really does capture the best parts of a good sports manga -- which is to say the team is filled with interesting, enjoyable character who all need to learn to pull together, boost each other’s strengths, and cover for each other’s weaknesses. Love me some found family tropes and this series oozes it in the best possible way. And then you also get some very cool action scenes as it makes high school volleyball seem like the most intense thing on earth. I can’t wait to continue it

Queer Eye

I haven’t been keeping up with Queer Eye but I was watching it ravenously when it first came out, and this seemed like a very cathartic book to read… and it really was. It had the same gentle, loving encouragement as the show. It doesn’t expect you to change your entire life, but to learn to embrace who you are, and take small steps to enhance those things. There a segment written (presumably) by each member of the Fab Five, explaining the mentality behind what they do on the show and how you can grow in those areas too. It’s very zen.

Spinning

I got this graphic novel out at the same time as Bloom, but it was the one that interested me less of the two... though that’s just because I have less interest in “real world” slice of life as a genre and this one is meant to be autobiographical. If you’re into that, you’ll probably love this because it really is stunning. Very pretty, and the format and pacing is all really well done. It’s a coming of age story for Tillie as she grows up dealing with a crosscountry move, complicated friendships, a burgeoning attraction to girls, and attending competitive figure skating classes.

This Place: 150 Years Retold

A stunning and heart-wrenching graphic novel told by a collection of different First Nation’s authors/artists, recounting oral histories about the 150 years since the colonialist formation of the country known as “Canada”. In other words, this is a post-apocalypse story, but one that really happened and that entire peoples are still fighting to survive. It’s very eye opening and beautifully told. Very strongly recommend the read, especially if you’re at all interested in history.

Torchwood: Serenity

Whoops, not technically a book. I had thought these were technically audiobooks at first, but rather they’re audio dramas that were played on the radio. Still, I decided to include one because I’ve been listening to them like a person possessed and they’re too fun not to at least mention. Let me indulge in my obsessions.

If you don’t know Torchwood, it’s a BBC series that spins-off from Doctor Who, focusing on the enigmatic and flirtatious Captain Jack Harkness, who is running the covert organization known as Torchwood, which is tasked to protect humanity from and prepare them for alien contact. It’s goofy and campy but also more adult and heavy than Doctor Who tends to get, so it is (in my opinion) a really fascinating series. Though it also has content warnings coming out the wazoo so maybe make sure it’s for you before delving in.

Serenity specifically is possibly one of the best Torchwood stories I’ve ever experienced. The Torchwood team concludes that there’s an undercover alien hiding in the idyllic gated community Serenity Plaza, and so that means it’s up to Jack and Ianto to go undercover as a happily married couple and flush out the alien without being discovered first. Even if it means being sickly sweet together, pretending to care about the local neighbourhood barbecues, and actually caring a bit too much about the Best Front Lawn competition. What is truly magical about this one, is that it manages to make it a Fake Dating AU despite the fact that Jack and Ianto are actually dating in canon. But they’re both used to dating as a pair of alien hunters with insanely dysfunctional lives, and who now need to figure out how to deal with domesticity. It is marvellous.

Wilderlore: The Accidental Apprentice

A middle grade novel that felt a bit like a cross between Harry Potter and Pokemon. It’s about orphan Barclay Thorne who wants nothing more than to be accepted in the rule-bound village of Dullshire, and live up to his apprenticeship as a mushroom farmer. He certainly wants nothing to do with the fearsome Beasts who live beyond the village, deep in the Woods or the sinister Lorekeepers that bond with them. It was, after all, a Beast that had killed his parents all those years ago. But when he finds himself at the very edge of the forest, hunting for an elusive mushroom, he is suddenly unable to avoid any of that. Not when a wild girl and her bonded dragon appear to summon a horrible Beast and end up getting Barclay bonded to it instead. Now, if Barclay ever wants to be welcomed back into his home, he has no choice but to venture into the Woods and find a way to sever the bond imprisoning him to the massive, monstrous wolf now imprinted on his body as a living tattoo.

I honestly can’t decide how I felt about this one. I feel like it’d be a really fun read for maybe a grade 5 to 7 student? I was a bit more meh about it. It was fine, but it was very hard not to draw unfavourable parallels to Harry Potter. But for a kid who’s never read Harry Potter? Or even an adult that has but is looking for something different to scratch that itch, this might be a good book to try. I’ll probably try reading the second book when it comes out.

[saintheartwing]

Undertales of Friendship: Toriel’s Got Talent

Toriel walked through the classroom, humming a tune from a show Mettaton had intercepted in another dimension. The song was somewhat somber and maybe a little sad, but at the same time it was beautiful.

"Come little Children... I'll take thee away... into a land of enchantment..." Toriel sang, perfectly in tone with the soft spoken singer who sang the tune. As she did, she closed her eyes and began to dance, leaving a trail of flame as she did, feeling the fire twirl about her ever so gently.

"hey Toriel."

Toriel eeped and fell over a desk as she was startled by the shorter of the skeleton brothers. She moaned and winced as sans helped her to get up, never losing that smile of his or that gentle, caring look in his eyesockets. After coming to the surface, the two had become good friends. It would never be more than that really, since sans was more like a big uncle to Frisk and Asriel, and Toriel had no interest in marrying again after Asgore.

Still...

It was nice to have a good friend like Sans. And yet he did have a knack for finding embarrassing times.

"Sans, dear, I thought you were seeing the kids to the train to Canterlot?"

Sans nodded. "i did. i saw them as they got to the station, then I closed my eyesockets once they got there so I didn't see them afterward. but I will see 'em later when they get home."

Toriel giggled. "You're so bad, Sans." she hugged her friend and went to finish up with the cleaning.

"nah, just a bonehead."

Toriel bust out laughing, neither unaware that outside two very famous ponies had been listening to Toriel's singing. The one was a greyish brown pony who had her mane done up in a nice little style, as highly refined as the Stratamarevius cello she played. Beside her was the polar opposite in many ways, wearing purple shades and having a mane done up in blue, white, and neon purple that just went everywhere, her coat white as fallen snow. Vinyl Scratch and Octavia were best friends in Ponyville and two of the finest musicians in their fields. They KNEW talent when they heard it.

And they had heard it walking by the school.

"Wow Vinyl, can you believe it? Who knew that Goat Lady was so talented?"

Vinyl shrugged. "Eh, it ain't bad that's for sure. With some wubs backing her up she could REALLY rock!"

Octavia raised an eyebrow. "Always with the WUBS, Vinyl?"

The rocker DJ chuckled. "I'm all about that Bass." She hmmmed. "But she really is a great singer. We gotta get her to share that talent."

Octavia nodded. "Yes... still we should be subtle about it. I recall Rarity telling me how she and her friends tried to get Fluttershy to sing in public. Did NOT go well."

Vinyl hmmmed. "I think I got an idea, girlfriend."

Octavia chuckled. "And there we go with the shipping jokes."

The DJ chuckled, lowering her shades. "Like I was the first one." She winked through the fourth wall, setting off to finalize things.

Later that day, Toriel was stunned at her guests. She had been busy making some pies for when her sons come home, and the smell of apple, butterscotch, snail, and even one blueberry experimental pie hung in the air.

She lived in a modest little house, like most monsters did after arriving here in Equestria. it was a cute little one story made of magical brick, several unicorns helping put it together. In many ways it looked like her old home in the ruins, with a similar house layout... except now it had a bathroom and a basement. Toriel also had a much larger kitchen here, since she was baking lots of goodies either on her own or with Muffet and Pinkie Pie. But today she had different guests.

Two very specific musicians.

"You want me to what?" She asked again, trying to place what she had just been told.

"We want you to sign up for the talent competition." Octavia said. "We heard your singing voice when we walked by your school. It was just amazing!"

Vinyl smiled and handbanged a little... oh no... she was just nodding. "Yeah, you rock girlfriend!"

"I thought I was your girlfriend?" Octavia said with a wink, the playful DJ smiling. Toriel chuckled some, thinking perhaps these two were like Alphys and Undyne in some ways. But she shook her head.

"Not interested." She said. "See... I'm really not that good. Oh I love to perform before a crowd, I do it every day a a teacher. But singing... I only really know the one song, mainly because I can relate to it."

The two ponies sat on their haunches. Octavia tilted her head. "I don't understand."

"You see... before we came here to Equestria, my ex-husband had a policy of killing any human who fell into the underground. I hated it so I left him and hid in the ruins. I was determined to protect any child who fell into the underground but... well, I failed. Now we have six human souls who don't hate us, but are still trapped, still waiting to either be freed and sent home or given new bodies."

Vinyl still wasn't making the connection. "Soooo... why that song?"

"See... I always wanted to take those kids and take them away somewhere that Asgore could not touch them. We could be happy and free, and it'd be so lovable. It was my dream for-"

*knock knock*

Toriel blinked. "Oh no... now what?" She went to the door and opened it... only to be greeted by the hulking form of her ex-husband. He was white furred like she was and had larger horns, but was also very much a goat monster, with similar floppy ears, vampire-like fangs, and a big golden beard. He was dressed in overalls and a blue shirt, as well as a big funny looking straw hat. Toriel glared at him.

"Dreemurr." She said with definitive daggers in her voice. Asgore smiled, embarrassed.

"Sorry, I just was seeing if maybe... oh there you two are!" Asgore pushed past, Toriel clenching her fists as he walked in. "I was looking all over for you two. I wanted to sign up for the talent show."

Octavia clapped her hooves. "Splendid! And your talent?"

Asgore smiled. "Strength. I have been working out on the Apple Acres Farm-"

"Sweet Apple Acres love." Vinyl corrected.

"Ah, whoops. Anyway, Big Macintosh has been helping me train my strength, and we want to work together for an act." He turned to Toriel. "Shame you won't be in it Toriel."

Toriel fumed. "And why not?"

"Oh sorry Tori, but you kinda are outdone with most talents, except maybe your pies. And I do not think those would work for the competition."

Now Toriel literally was burning up, fire forming in her hands. She turned to Octavia and Vinal and spoke with a voice that would scare Satan himself into hiding in his room under the covers.

"Sign. Me. Up." She spat, her flames intensifying. The three guests suddenly a little spooked. An upset Toriel was NEVER a good thing.

"Ummm... I better go." Asgore said, nervously walking out. He eeped as Toriel opened the door, almost getting Asgore burnt when she did. As she closed it however, she smelled something burning.

She soon realized she set her door on fire.

"Oh no!" She gasped, trying to put it out quickly, the two deciding it might have been a good idea to confirm Asgore first for this kind of stuff to prevent property damage.

Toriel stood in the main room of her home, trying to rehearse the song she was going to sing for the show. She had sang it a few times, and the snails she had caught were listening, rocking their heads in the soft time of the somber and beautiful singing.

But she felt like it wasn't right. All she did was stand there and sing... It felt a little like a part of a greater whole. She loved music, yes, but to actually sing was not her thing. From the time she was little she liked to bake more than anything, had…had Asgore been right?

Asgore. Thinking about him made her almost redouble her efforts as her cell phone rang. She sighed and answered it, the voice of her son Frisk on the other end.

"Hi mom!" He said cheerfully. "How are things back in Ponyville?"

Toriel smiled as she focused on her son for now and away from the talent show. "Oh, same as always. How is Canterlot?"

Frisk giggled. "It's fun! Asriel and I are kinda getting a few stares from ponies but overall we like it. We are doing our best to help Twilight with her work here."

Toriel smiled proudly. That was her boys, always eager to help others. "Is Asriel there, son?" She asked. Frisked chuckled some.

"He's with Princess Celestia right now mom."

"Ahhhhhhhh... Those two are going to spoil him rotten at this rate." Toriel giggled.

"More like HE will spoil THEM!" He laughed in return. The two spoke a little further before finally Toriel said it.

"By the way, I will be in the talent show later this week. But I won't tell you what I am doing yet. It's a surprise."

Frisk ahhhed. "I cannot wait to see it! Until then mom, I gotta help Twilight and Spike with some of the books, then we are going to go hang out with some of her old friends. Talk to you later!"

"Be good son!" Toriel said, hanging up, unaware that now someone else was in the room.

"hey Toriel." The familiar voice said, still making Toriel eep out of her fur.

"Sans, will you stop that?! Why do you keep popping up out of nowhere?!"

Sans shrugged. "actually i was in the closet." He said shrugging even more.

Toriel sighed. "Great, I have a closet case in my ho-" She whacked her face with her hand. "OH I soooo walked into that one!"

Sans smiled. Though he was already smiling. "nah, i came outta that one." He said, pointing to the hall closet. "hey, gotta question for ya. you think doing things outta revenge or hate is the right thing to do?"

Toriel blinked. "What? Why do you ask?"

Sans made his empty eyesocket stare. He did it primarily to make a serious point. As he spoke, he actually followed punctuation standards. This was a serious sentence.

"I think you know what I mean Tori."

Tori. The way her name was said that way. She sighed and nodded. "No... it is wrong."

"then why are you in the competition?" Sans asked. "ya doing what you want to do in it, i hope?"

Toriel sighed. "Well... Octavia and Vinyl Scratch think I should sing my song, so I am going to do that. It is my best bet right?"

Sans shrugged. "heck if i know. i am just a judge alongside the princesses and Mettatin."

"Ton." Toriel said.

"2000 pounds." Sans said without a beat missed. "but joking aside your majesty, if the only reason you're singing is to beat the king, then you're doing the wrong thing for the wrong reason. you should focus on a talent you love and want to share with the world."

Toriel blinked. "I see what you mean... but I can't bake pies for the competition."

Sans placed a bony hand on her arm. "i don't mean that. what fills you with a burning passion? what sets your heart afire?" He smiled, winking. Toriel just stared.

Sans waited but no answer came. He sighed and chuckled. "eh, you'll figure it out if you follow your heart." He placed a hand on her chest. "listen to it." He smiled and opened the oven door. "well, gotta go." He said, climbing in. Toriel opened it... but Sans was gone.

"How DOES he do that?!"

The day of the talent show arrived and Toriel was nervous as all get out. She had rehearsed her song for some time but it still didn't sound right. As she went to practice one last time, she heard another singing voice...

We were searching for our place for awhile there,

Trying to find out where we fit in!

But when we failed those times before, we kept on trying more,

Cause the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't give in!

Now there's new faces here in our home,

And they need a Crusader's help too.

So just like the friends we got, there is now a whole new lot

And we'll show them all just what we can do!

We'll make our mark!

For Changlings and Monsters too!

We'll make our mark!

Do our best to see them through

To the ultimate reward, of a Cutie Mark!

Toriel blinked, following the source of the song, and saw three very familiar little fillies, working on an adaptation for their song, making it their own.

"Miss Toriel!" One said, a familiar alabaster filly with a musical note in a coat of arms for her cutie mark. "You wanna help with the next verse? You know it right?"

Toriel smiled. She did, the Crusaders had sung it in her room so many times before. But she had one better. She cleared her throat…

Toriel: I think now I see the true path before me.

I think I know now what to do.

You've helped me see that I must follow my heart.

And I just want to thank youuuuu...

Sweetie Belle: I'm so glad we have helped when you needed.

We want to show you the way.

Together: Because if at the very start, you just follow your heart,

You can help to make it a better, brighter day!

We'll make our mark!

And we'll let our talents shine,

We'll make our mark!

And it will be so divine!

To find the ultimate reward! Our Cutie Mark!

Toriel hugged the three phillies, smiling. "That was wonderful! There is no way my singing can compete with it. You three have the true talents, not me."

The orange brown coated one, Scootaloo, smiled. "I don't think so, you have a real talent too."

Apple Bloom, the custard coated pony with reddish mane smiled. "Yeah, and you add so much, your dancing and your skill with fire, you're amazing!"

Toriel smiled. "Well, when I hear a song I like, I dunno, I just cannot keep the passion inside, I have to let the flames of it come o..." She froze. "Girls! That's It! I know what my TRUE talent is! I gotta find Octavia and Vinyl right away!"

Sweetie Belle smiled and pointed a hoof towards one of the tents near the talent show stage. "I think they are over there."

Toriel hugged her one last time, and went to see them. Now she knew what she wanted to do!

Big Macintosh smiled as Asgore lifted another pony on his back, now up to 15. He was huffing some. He had to do it. Just one more.

"Big Mac, your turn at the top!" Asgore said, sweating. Big Mac nodded, grabbing a flag, climbing the upside down pyramid held up by Asgore, everyone staring in awe. Big Mac climbed steadily until he was at the center post part at the top, and held up a flag.

Asgore straightened out, legs buckling but his strength holding as he went to full height, giving a mighty yell. From the back, Undyne and Alphys wolf whistled and cheered at the sight. With help from the pegasi, the volunteer ponies were lifted off, one by one.

"OHHH! AMAZING DISPLAY OF SHEER BRAWN YOUR HIGHNESS! ONCE AGAIN, KING ASGORE AND HIS TALENT OF UNYIELDING STRENGTH, WITH BIG MAC AND HIS SKILL OF CLIMBING AND TOSSING PONIES!" The audience cheered as MC extraordinaire, Mettaton, placed a huge smiley face on his... um... face... and rolled aside to let the slightly winded but proud king walk by. As he did, he saw Toriel.

"Tori..." He started, but Toriel shushed him.

"I still hate what you did." She said... then smiled. "But you know, you did good out there."

Asgore smiled. "Thanks. But the goal was really 30 ponies. Ah well. In any case, I wanna see what you can do Tori."

Toriel gave a little wink. "I think you will like it." She stepped out on stage, nodding as below appeared Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, instruments ready. Toriel stood on the stage, breathing deep.

It was time to show the world her passion.

The two ponies began to play a melancholy tune filled with passion, the passion of a mother whose heart was breaking, the passion of a mother who could not stand the thought of her child about to face the underground alone.

Heartache.

As the music picked up, her hands lit up with fire. She began to twirl the flames about her in a dance, spinning and leaping, trying not to cry as she recalled the last time she had heard this tone, the source of her passion as a mother.

That day in the underground, when she forced Frisk to prove himself. And he had, not fighting, letting his love shine through.

Toriel recalled this, shooting fire into the air, making the audience awe as they saw it explode like fireworks, guided perfectly through the audience and around them, not touching a one, each flame guided by her magic, each motion like a dance within a dance. All the while Octavia and Vinyl played their hearts out on the instruments, gritting their teeth, eyes filled with tears as their music filled the audience with feelings of awe, sorrow, and hope.

This was her passion. The burning desire inside her. The dance. The dance that changed everything for her, for the underground, for everyone. Frisk's Dance.

With every move the story seemed to play out for those watching, Frisk especially in awe of his mom as he watched it, recalling that last, loving hug. Asriel was unable to keep from crying, it was so beautiful.

And as the music ended, everyone in the audience was on their hooves, stamping and clapping, Toriel exhausted but smiling with a tear in her eyes. She saw Frisk and smiled.

Her children gave her the talent she had. And the happiness she felt, from the time she was one herself, could only come out in the form of her flames and in her dance.

She looked to the two musicians, who smiled, Vinyl sobbing while Octavia bowed.

"That was beautiful." Was all she said. And it was a thought shared by Asgore as he watched from backstage. That was the Tori he remembered.

He also could not stop crying.

As the show ended, Toriel went to the crusaders, hugging them again. "Thank you, little ones. Without you I might not have realized the truth. Music is a love of mine, like my kids or my baking. But when I hear it, I have to let the feelings it gives me out. I have to dance. Even if I have to fight with the music in my mind I cannot keep from making it a dance."

Sweetie Belle hmmmed. "You mean like that spider lady?"

Toriel went wide eyed. "Oh my... your right! I guess I never made the comparison, hehehe" She smiled and hugged again, unaware that Muffet had watched and, like everyone else, was in awe."

"OK, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES! IT SEEMS THE JUDGES HAVE MADE THEIR DECISIONS! BEFORE PRESENTING THE GRAND PRIZE FOR BEST IN SHOW, WE HAVE PRIZES FOR OUTSTANDING TALENT!" Mettaton first held up an award with a musical note on it. "FOR BEST MUSICAL TALENT... THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"

Sweetie Belle gasped. "We... we won?!"

Toriel just beamed as she watched the three walk to the stage and collect their prize. Mettaton them picked up one with a pair of Groucho Marx glasses.

"FOR BEST COMICAL PERFORMANCE... OH MY, THIS IS BORDERLINE AGAINST THE RULES, BUT I THINK WE ALL AGREE! PAPYRUS!"

Everyone chuckled as Papyrus came up with...

...a dusty tutu.

"SANS... YOU ARE SO DEAD FOR THIS ONE."

"oh relax bro, at least that was the best Nutcracker."

"SWEET!" Everyone laughed as Papyrus walked into that one. "*SIGH*. WHYYYY MUST I TRY SO HARD FOR APPRECIATION..."

Mettaton then lifted the next trophy.

"FOR SHEER AND UTTER PHYSICAL TALENT... BIG MACINTOSH AND KING FLUFFYBUNS!"

Asgore blushed some as everyone laughed at his nickname, the two stepping forward to take the barbell trophy. Mettaton now lifted the final one.

"AND NOW, THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... THE BEST IN SHOW, THE TOP TALENT, PONYVILLE'S PERFECT PERFORMING PRESENCE! AND THE WINNER IS... TORIEL DREEMURR!"

Toriel was wide eyed as she stepped forward, everyone again giving a standing ovation complete with cheers, claps, wolf whistles, and shouts for a speech. But Toriel could only say one thing, something which, in many opinions, is the moral of this story.

"True talent is not about something your good at, or even something you love to do. Talent is, in many ways, something you are good at loving."

Well said Toriel. Well said.

THE END

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...Asriel breaks the fourth wall and smiles.

"Wasn't that an awesome talent show? Who knew mom could dance like that! And the way she could move the fire... amazing!

"Hey! You liking the series so far? Have ideas for Misterebony or NGrey651? Comment below! But... no killing okay? Please?

...

...

..."Well... that's it this time. See you in the next episode!"

[holscm]

art school please!

art school aus are my lifeblood and i honestly CANNOT BELIEVE that i haven’t seen a single outline of one in the omgcp fandom so i am determined to resolve this issue. i mean it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it

ok so the most obvious one here is lardo, who in my mind (based on canon) is a sculpture major

has long since given up on the state of her hands, which are always dry as fuck because of chemicals and all the washing

shitty thinks they’re awesome and he loves rubbing them on his face

he also dedicates himself to giving her a hand rub with his Special Lotion every week though bc dry hands start to itch and burn and he isn’t about to let lardo suffer in silence

shitty is art history/criticism and he constantly rants about how much he hates the “mad eurocentric ideals of western canon, brah”

like, we get it, you have white guilt

nursey is a painting major because he’s an angsty little shit and i project everything

known around the studios for his tendency to accidentally drink paint water, forget to wash his brushes, and spill gesso all over his clothes, regardless of whether he’s wearing an apron. A Mess™

he does that thing where he pairs original poems with each of his pieces

it’s cool but pretentious as fuck and dex gives him so much (good-natured) shit for it

speaking of dex, he’s an architecture major bc he likes the idea of designing “real” things that you can touch with your hands

spends a lot of hours in the intd wing in kotter . never sleeps. are those bags or graphite smudges under his eyes. no one knows

bitty keeps him fed in mini pies and sometimes chowder will come do homework with him

tango is interaction design

(i would add more to that but i know literally nothing about interaction design whoops sorry)

chowder is animation!

in the words of @dealwarlock, “he has that Excited Hyperness of someone whos stared @ a computer screen for 30 hrs straight”

he and farmer meet while working in the lab on the same project and it’s love at first .FLA file

whiskey is graphic design/advertising because it’s more “”””practical”””” in the “”””real world”””” (he genuinely enjoys it though)

he and tango spend a lot of hours in the lab together. not always talking, just working on their respective projects and enjoying the company

holster is also graphic design/advertising. his dream job is designing the posters for broadway musicals

secretly would also love to work for buzzfeed but he would never admit it

ransom is illustration with an emphasis in medical illustration

can be found most often in the library (in the basement, where they keep the scientific journals) stressing about human anatomy

met holster because he was the life model for his figure drawing class freshman year

it’s not like, a sexual thing at first bc how could he possibly think of sex when he’s concerned with getting the proportions of this guy’s torso correct

but holster is a good model who is surprisingly skilled at staying still for long periods which is good for ransom bc perfectionist

anyway this is getting long but they start hanging out more and ransom pays him for extra modeling sessions in taco bell and annie’s (and like, actual currency bc crunchwrap supremes don’t pay the bills) and they become Best Buds and eventually more bc there is no au in which holsom are not together,, fight me on this

jack is a photography major trying to live up to his dad, a renowned sports photographer

his favorite sport to photograph is hockey bc his favorite uncle (yes, actual related uncle) plays and he loves watching it

i haven’t figured out who his uncle is yet but feel free to make suggestions

is mysteriously the only student with a key to the darkroom bc adults just instinctively trust him

(shenanigans eventually happen in there)

still loves history. still has anxiety. basically everything else is the same

bitty is art ed, which frequently gets looked down on for being less of a “”serious major”” in art school

has to work to prove himself to his professors and studio art major classmates (read: jack)

junior/senior studio art majors get paired up with a freshman as part of a mentoring thing and GUESS WHO GETS PAIRED TOGETHER

i’ll give you a hint: one is a southern beau with a tendency to bake when he should be making color wheels and whatnot and the other is a brooding canadian who gets tasked with tracking him down so he’ll actually get work done

johnson is the academic advisor who orchestrates all of this

[euphxmia-pxtter-blog]

For Pie (a Destiel fanfic)

They were working a job in Atlanta when Dean saw the sign- JESSAMINE'S PIE PLACE- and below that, VALENTINES DAY SALE; 40% OFF FOR COUPLES. No frigging way. "Cas," he said, twisting in his seat to look at the angel in the backseat. "You've gotta pretend we're dating so I can get a discount on pie!" Sam, in the passengers seat, snorted. "Of course you'd try something like that." Dean shrugged. "Hey, I want me some pie. It's no more a deception than all the credit card scams we pull to get food any other time." "True enough." "So, Cas, you in?" Castiel furrowed his eyebrows, as if thinking. "Yes, why not?" he said after a moment. Dean whooped. "Alright!" Jessamine's was a small place, but it was warm and inviting, and the delicious smell of fresh-baked pie hit Dean's nose the moment they entered. He and Cas slid into a booth and started perusing the menu together. They sat on the same side of the table to look more convincing, but Dean suddenly started to regret the idea. They were so close, thighs lightly touching, and that addictive scent which was so distinctly Cas- like lavender soap and dewy grass- was mingling with the smell of the pies. He wanted to lean into him, wanted to kiss him. 'Get it together, Dean,' he thought furiously. 'You don't swing that way.' He knew it was a lie even as he thought it. He'd liked plenty of guys before, and his feelings for Cas were stronger than any of those. In fact, the only time he'd been more hopelessly besotted was with Lisa. But he'd fought off this part of himself for his, and he didn't plan to stop now. The only problem was, nothing really went according to plan. "What can I get you lovebirds?" a serving woman asked. Her name tag said 'Mabel' and she smiled sweetly at them. Dean tried to keep the blush off his face. "What do you think, honey?" he asked Cas. "I'm leaning toward the black cherry pie." "That sounds good to me," Cas replied. Dean knew it didn't make a difference to an angel- they tasted all the individual particles of whatever they ate. Mabel jotted down the order. "Anything else?" "Yeah, a coffee too, please." She added this and then shuffled away. "Sorry," Dean mumbled when she was gone. "What for? I enjoy spending time with you, Dean," Cas told him. "I do wonder, though, why your heartbeat has been so fast this whole time-" Dean winced, but the angel continued on. "-because, you know, if you'd asked me here on an actual date, I still would have said yes." Dean blinked. "Sorry, what was that?" "I would have said yes," Cas repeated, locking eyes with Dean. 'Oh my god. Is this really happening? Here? Now?' "Oh," Dean said. He swallowed, then continued. "I... I guess I should have asked, then." Cas smiled comfortably. "It's not to late, really," he said. "Alright, then. Cas, do you wanna go out with me?" "I'd love to." They smiled at each other, and then a steaming pie and two plates were set down in front of them. "Hell yeah. I love me some pie!"