#still enjoy things
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#tw mental illness#tw suicidal thoughts#bipolar#haven't been on this app for a while. but i need to get this off my chest and idk who tu turn to#maybe this will sound like a try to seek attention#but in a way it kind of is#i guess?#i don't feel like burdening people close to me with this. and i just can't bring myself to address it in a serious way#not by making jokes#i don't even think anyone will see this#so whatever. but i don't know what to do anymore#i'm not even sure i want to talk about it. i laugh#still enjoy things#but at the end of the day i have only one thing on my mind#and it's a question for how long can i keep going like this#my mind is hell#constantly making uo scenarios of possible ways to end my life#and it's a never ending cycle#i can't stop thinking#and not even music can help to turn off my mind#i don't want to do this anymore#i genuinely don't#it literally doesn't get any better lol and i've tried pretty much everything at this point#i was born fucked up#idk if there even is a way to undo this#i can't even explain how exhausted i am every day#and yet compared to what some people go through in their lives this is nothing
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MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule
#acesan#one piece#portgas d ace#sanji#monkey d luffy#comic#ive been meaning to make this comic for like a year Btw. and it got stunted for 6 months cuz I couldn't get past a part that was like#Slightly too ooc for my liking without fuckin up the whole thing even tho its already stupid as is ANYWAY. SOLVED IT OBVIOUSLY so yaaay#i spent so long on it and it still had mistakes. but gues what I Fucking Ball#also initially posting this on twitter was such a headache because the alt text limit is so Small so i was like ok Fuck My Life i guess#anyway. blow s a kiss to the crowd. Enjoy my insanity
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Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!
I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished
#makeaterriblecomicday2024#comic#comics#sketch#does this count as horror like comment subscribe down below#Ever since I stopped being on social media as often/stopped taking it deadly serious I've been able to fall back in love with the process..#...of art which is fantastic!! I do enjoy taking my time with things but it's still very easy to get caught up in making something Perfect#ESPECIALLY WITH COMICS#As a comic maker and comic enjoyer you have to remind yourself people speed through reading them. It's ok to take shortcuts#Every frame does not need to be a painting#Anyways this was a great way to make something after falling into an MMO hole for a few days...#unrelated did u guys know Wizard 101 is still alive with an active player base#Ok hopefully I can get back on track to finishing my next short horror comic in the next month or so wish me luck fellers
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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Yarrow and Feverfew
Art trade with the incredible @liscepu, I'm so grateful for the chance! Thank you for fueling my love for the game again <3
#arthur morgan#red dead redemption#rdr2#rdr fanart#flowers#portrait#illustration#Also#since gathering and crafting from plants is one of my fav things in open world games I've been really enjoying drawing game characters with#like I've done with Geralt or Pathologic before - I will be definitely doing that more in the future! <3#This also reminded me I still need to return to platinum-ing RDR2...#...These damn 70 golden medals tho#I have no idea how I'll do it 💀
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I'm back in the Tigers cage again.
(You too can join in on throwing a Rat Of A Man into a Tiger cage by reading Tiger Tiger)
#non mdzs#Still need a sona tag name...#Tiger tiger#When I say 'I need to hunt him down for blood' what I really mean is:#'I really like this character and I enjoy how he's able to provoke emotion in the readers'.#Thank you Petra for being such an amazing writer!#The penultimate chapter of Tiger Tiger is underway! I'm so excited to see how things will conclude!#There is truly no better time to be getting into Tiger Tiger than right now! Don't wait!#More TIger's comics *are* on the horizon. So sorry for underfeeding you guys.#Life got busy and I ended up taking a break for 2 months but I am *back* and I won't be leaving any time soon.#I got a tad overwhelmed with the discord; it's a fun place to chat but very busy - I'll try and pop in more often.
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various tango doodles
#hermitcraft#tangotek#my art#sketch#i love drawing human tango so much you guys have no idea.... he's just. he's so... but the creature one is still the most favorite.#also the 3rd sketch of him with glasses..... don't think im gonna draw him with glasses anymore it just doesn't look right#idk why. maybe the forehead being covered or the fact that he doesn't have ears or something. it's just... no#in other news. im really enjoying drawing him with a bit of facial hair! it just adds that little bit of character and maturity#he looks less like a baby and i think that's a good thing#all my previous fanarts now look bald tho 😭
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ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.
Bonus:
#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks#hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature#ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual#isat spoilers#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#lucabyteart#RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete#they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot
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a bit late but @zukki-week day 1 // domesticity!
#id in alt text#three weed smoking girlfriends <33#things getting shuffled around a bit lmao but the skinny dipping Will happen so stay tuned!!#in the meantime enjoy zukki shotgunning on kyoshi island#(as always special shoutout to chip for coming up with lilypad frogs i’m still obsessed with those lil guys!!)#zukki#sokka#suki#zuko#my art#zukki week 2023#zukki week
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It's not even actually their birthday
(Based on a conversation I had with a friend + Jamil's 2024 birthday present to the player)
#my art#twisted wonderland#twst#jamil viper#jamil viper x yuu#twst yuu#oc#twst oc#shiokawa mayu#jamimayu#bro made a discovery and had to share#why is he like this#hes very into chemical warfare against those pesky bugs#throwback to the first jamimayu post I ever made#I believe Jamil texts with like perfect capitalization and punctuation#but you can tell he's excited by#subtle hints#things you'll notice if you know him#for example multiple texts in a row is very unusual of him#you may interpret the timestamps however you wish#you may also wonder why I hand draw this instead of just typing#it's cause I drew the first post and now feel I have to commit#it's too late#at least I enjoy the stylized look it gets...#ALSO IM STILL WORKING ON HIS BDAY ART#ITS STILL IN PROGRESS#sorry jamiru i am so very slow
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"While it could use its psychic abilities in battle, this Pokémon prefers to swing its powerful arms around to beat opponents into submission."
#reuniclus#shiny reuniclus#pokemon#i think everyday about how this guy is so happy to have arms#meanwhile its counterpart gothitelle has to wrestle with the mortality of everything it loves#how many trainers do you think got sent to the hospital by a giant crushing hug once their duosion evolved#i like to think that while no network is created because humans aren't made like them they still enjoy holding hands with their trainers#this guy is so silly i love it cos it evolved arms to hug you back#i think it's one of the pokemon evolutionary lines i could reasonably have as a pet#reuniclus has an unimpressive 65 base attack but this doesn't stop it from beating things up and enjoying it what an icon
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Session Six
#i like to call this session the valley of death#more symbolism than actual death count#but still a fun thing for me#life series#secret life#sl!scar#sl!grian#gtwscar#goodtimeswithscar#mcyt#mcytblr#cw: eyes#eyes#scopophobia#scopohobia tw#could be tagged as dsrt duo if one wanted#really REALLY enjoyed working on this#more to come!#hopefully
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forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.
#or just the moral dilemmas#rewatching amc interview is kind of making me insane#that moment in episode two when louis is looking for a sort of assurance in the fact that lestat may actually have some good in him#look at how he cares about music look at the simple wondrous things that can bring him joy#and then the immediate dread when the opera performance turns out to be imperfect because he knows how lestat will react to *that*#I think there’s also something really interesting in the highlighting of lestat upbraids the less skilled singer before killing him#(slowly)#but also I will wait to watch more before I articulate my thoughts#vampires#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#i ramble sometimes#I do still find the lestat and claudia film and novel dynamic by far the most compelling for how she tries to usurp him but almost to be him#but I’m enjoying this#I’m very curious if I will like show claudia more on rewatch#the movie always resonated most with me (sue me lol) because there seemed to be more simultaneous fondness and attachment even at the end
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happy pride month
#naegami#makoto naegi#byakuya togami#danganronpa#trans byakuya#polaris polanski#that post is ff naegami to me to a terrifyingly accurate degree#makoto and his wife who wants him to quit his job#byakuya casually dropping bombshells on a shell-shocked and exhausted man#and then daydreaming about a better life they could have together while makoto's still reeling with the implications#if i reconcile my bizarro upbringing and my convoluted perception of gender roles and current position in this foundation#the only way i can get him to leave on his own volition is to marry him. in a straight way. bc we're both straight. what if i was a girl#makoto's resigning himself to being ff's dog for the forseeable future. meanwhile byakuya is doing the same but also having egg emotions#not featured: kyoko who was sitting on the opposite side of makoto and was in the middle of a conversation with him. that got interrupted#she immediately downs her shot after byakuya says that out loud and texts the other survivors who each owe her $10. toko owes her $20#tgirl egg byakuya in her 20s in an apocalypse as a middle manager is a very specific headcanon that i enjoy a lot#only thing keeping her going is her bisexuality and the reminder that 'i went off the grid while crossdressing before i can do it again'#my arts
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pairing: hoshina soushirou x gn!reader (no prns)
summary: in which he realizes you were the one for him
warnings: none i think !
wc: 1100
Hoshina wasn't a player. He wasn't one to say yes to everyone who came his way nor was he one to lightly pursue just about anyone who slightly interested him— not to mention he didn’t fall easily to begin with. He was a busy man in a dangerous line of work so having a relationship simply didn’t make sense most of the time.
However, this is not to say he hasn’t had a few relationships here and there. He loved those he dated, he really did. He did not believe in dating for the fun of it nor did he believe in starting a relationship he knew would end at some point, but subconsciously he tried not to get attached. He kept his distance and locked away his heart to keep from getting hurt. Was it unfair? Well yes, but he was scared. Everyone has something that terrifies them greatly, this just so happened to be Hoshina’s.
Yet, recently he could tell that something was different with you. It had only been a few months since you started dating, but he feared the shift in his feelings. He knew what it was— he knew very well, but as soon as he admitted it, it would be over. There’d be no going back for him. He knew he was being rather irrational, he knew that if he sat down and confronted these emotions he’d realize they weren’t that big of a deal, but he couldn’t. He’s never been able to.
However, while fighting this kaiju, it became plain obvious that he was simply in denial.
It upset him how important you were to him, but more than that it upset him that he knew he was important to you. You had made it so painfully clear that he meant the absolute world to you and that broke him to pieces every single time.
To him it was easy being alone— he just had to make sure his job was complete before he died. If he could ensure everyone’s safety or at least help Mina out, there was nothing more he wished for. Yet while fighting Kaiju no. 10 today, when he saw his life flash before his eyes, his immediate thought was of you. If he died you’d cry. And that alone was going to get him home alive.
He’d rather die than make you cry. Especially not alone.
As he stood up again, he could see his blood dripping from his wounds and immediately it made him chuckle. You’d cry anyways when you see the state he’s in.
I’ll have to be around to wipe your tears at least, he said to you in his head.
He was incredibly lucky that you didn’t work on the battlefield, his heart simply would not be able to take it. But he did, and for you he’d have to get home safe. Even if no one else cared that much, not even himself, he knew you would.
All of a sudden, it was easy to admit. He was hopelessly in love with you, in a way he didn't know he was capable of. He wished that he would spend the rest of his life with you and he hoped you would spend the rest of yours with him. Perhaps he was just afraid and a little flustered to admit that he was important to someone, especially someone special to him too. He had seen how painful it was for those left behind, a little too often.
But there was an easy solution to that, he’d just get back to you safe every time. He just won’t make you worry and he’ll be there for you. This was supposed to be a dilemma, something he thought he'd stress over, but in the moment he felt eerily relaxed, definitely not like he was fighting an identified grade kaiju. The rest of the fight was a blur, he couldn't remember much. His head was clear but the fatigue had taken over at that point, but before he knew it, the kaiju laid in front of him still.
He was faintly conscious as they rushed him into an ambulance and patched him up. Once he was properly treated and awake, they had warned him to stay put and take it easy, but all he wanted to do was see you.
As soon as he left his assigned room, he immediately bumped into you. You had been waiting to be let in to see him. You took one look at the way he was patched up and tears welled into your eyes. He could tell you didn't mean to, you didn't want to worry him.
“Please don't cry,” he said softly, wiping your tears away. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of you. “I'm perfectly fine.”
“I'm not crying,” you said with a scowl on your face, but the way your voice cracked was not very convincing. “I'm so glad you're back.”
“Can't live without me?” he teased. He knew you couldn't live without him, but he couldn't either. Yet, now he even hated the thought of you living without him, let alone with someone else, so here he was. And here he always will be.
“Shut up,” you said. “You know I can't.”
He knew, but hearing you say that still made his heart flutter. He reached out with his right hand to grab your left and held it carefully. He leaned in to kiss you, but it was so much sloppier than the careful ones he usually gave you. Forgive him, he was terribly exhausted.
“I can't either,” he said, snuggling his face into your shoulder.
“You can't?” you asked, a little surprised. It broke his heart that he had possibly made you feel such way.
“Not for a second,” he said, still avoiding eye contact. “I'd rather die than wake up without you next to me, actually.”
You wouldn’t reply, so he brought his head back up to look at you.
“Oh, don't cry,” he said and chuckled a little, wiping your tears away as he kissed you again. “I didn't mean to make you cry.”
He hadn't let go of your hand and although he was gentle, he held it firmly. He didn't say anything, but he vowed to himself that he'd put a ring on it someday. He wasn't letting go of you ever.
You were the one for him.
#hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro x reader#soshiro x reader#hoshina soshiro#hoshina#kaiju no. 8 x reader#kaiju no 8 x reader#kn8 x reader#IM SORRY I GENUINELY FEEL LIKE I YAPPED FOR SO LONG FOR THIS TO HAVE NOTHING REALLY#LIKE WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR TRULY#who knows idk#ANYWAYS TYSSM FOR READING OMG#i still do hope u enjoyed i spent a little too long for this to end up the way it ended up#I AM SO EXCITED TO WATCH HOSHINA EP#i feel like rereading kaiju too#SO MANY HAPPY THINGS HAPPENING !!!!#i need to review his characgter i feel like im truly not understanding enough i do not know him well enough#TAGS PLS WORK I BEG
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